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What the devil is that?

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This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugats podcast. It's Thursday, guys, so you know what that means. We got Adnan, we got Samson. It's a segment everybody loves to relish in. David David Samson has got the Nothing Personal tour. You can get tickets at davidsamsonpodcast. Com and also listen to Nothing Personal with David Samson. Adnan Virg has Cinephile, executive produced by one Christopher Cody. All right, guys, I'm not going to do the Dan thing in filibuster a long time. We're going to jump right into you guys. Both have a top five list. Today's opening day, top five opening season.

Who's more excited for opening day, though, before we get to the list? Do you think Adnan or Samson? They're both baseball guys.

All right, let's talk about Hey, guys, who's more excited for your opening day?

I think we're both jacked up. Listen, I'm going to be on with Mike Lowell. Of course, one of David's old, I was going to say, teammates, but one of his guys, obviously from the Marlins all those years. So it's me, Mike Lowell, Chris Young for three hours talking baseball. I don't know if David shares by 7:00. I'm sure he does. I wish there was more games at one o'clock Eastern. I'll be on from 1:00 till 4:00, 2 hours. We're just going to be blathering what you've done all offseason. At 3:05, thank God, Corbin Burns' first pitch, and we can watch the Baltimore Orials. But we all know all the intrigue around the Dodgers and O'Tani. They're going to be playing, obviously, in our showcase game. Bob Kossas with the call. I can't wait for some actual baseball to be played. David?

It's too bad that there's the rainouts. It's such bad weather here in the Northeast that Philly, New York had to get rained out. It was going to be the first game. So many story lines about this season, and everyone thinks there's a cloud because of O'Tani, and Wander Franco just got put on the administrative list again. He's done until June first or sooner if he gets suspended forever for whatever happens to him. But the fact is, once play ball, once you get that first pitch, the story lines finally change. And we get to see 162 chapters unveil themselves one at a time. And at the end, will it be Diamondbacks, Rangers? Who will be the surprise team? You just never know. That's why today is such a great day.

So many chapters. So many chapters. Adnan, quick question for you. When does the shoot start for your 1920s-era gangster movie?

I always come out of the gate with the Al I'm wearing a Pone suit. Opening day. These guys know I'm wearing pinstripes. Listen, I know you have better things to do than to watch them. We'll be never. But at one o'clock, we're doing this 1930-style Al Capone. I'll send you the link. I'll post it on social. It's Hitchcockian. We pulled all the stops. Opening day. We're going to crush.

I wear my ring on opening day, Adnan. It's like a wedding or a bar mitzvah. I wear it during the World Series. You can press that button all night long, Lionel Richie. That is one that I love. But opening day, there's just something spectacular. Spectacular about it.

What's your favorite opening day memory, David?

Well, I have so many memories. Eighteen opening days.Ali, Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali.

The rain delay in a dome ballpark.

Listen, I'll get one before David because he has a lot more. Mark Burley. He made the greatest play ever made by a pitcher. That was an opening day. People forget. Wait, that was the first game of the season. That play was incredible. That flip play.

Mark Burley still has not spoken to me since I traded him to Toronto. Not once. That makes sense. Not one time.

For the record, I think he signed a deal in the offseason, right? And then you traded him in June. Do I get that right?

No, you got it wrong. We traded him during the offseason after 2012, and we sent him to Toronto in that big trade. And I called him about it, and I text him every year on his birthday, and crickets. It's just a sea of blue. I'm in touch still with his wife. Look at this play. He was such a great defensive pitcher, the way he filled his position. Second to Maddox in my career.

It was awesome. Is it red? Are the read receipts on? Because Pablo Tori revealed the other day that he used to have a relationship with Ed Huckley. Yeah. At some point, it's just like, Ed Hockley has never responded to him again after a certain incident. I thought it was just saying delivered, and he showed me his screen and says, No, it says red, including when he had sent on the day I was talking to Pablo.

I was like, I just sent them. By the way, I mean, nothing worse a red receipt. If you're Ed Hockley, you got to figure out how to get it done in your system. Come on, man.

I want to know what the number is for Blues in a row before it's stalking. What does the room think is the number? Three. No, no way. Too few.

Don't answer that question.

It has to be more than three.

I mean, how many? Three, that's it. If you were friends with Ed Hockley, three text, just respond. That's it. We're done.

I'm not answering that question.

You have to know that in this day and age, people I will get so many text messages. Not everyone's as crazy as I am where I go to bed without a red number every single night. Really? I do, too. There are some people who are in the hundreds.

Really? You guys have addressed every single text message that's ever come. Throughout the day, at times of the day, I will just check if I've missed a text message.

I'm like, Sam's on this. I cannot go to bed with it. I've seen JP Morosi's phone, 500 unread text messages, a thousand emails. That's insane to me.

I can't do it. There are people in this room right now who I have unread text from. I'll find that Sunday. I'll find that Sunday. That's just wrong.

You never missed a text from me. That's all I care about.

At some point, it's just a deluge, and the only thing I can do is just walk away.

I want to know who it is in the shipping. I'll tell you right now, Roy is great at texting back. Roy's always responding. Cody?

Cody is the worst.

There's worse than me. I'm not great. I know I'm not good, but I think Dan's worst.

L'ovitar is the worst. Dan's the worst because he will respond at 3:00 in the morning. That's why he's the worst.

He has three devices to respond from.

That's what's funny.

I love the email text from Dan.

All right, guys. Bro, go back.

Make the point about L'Oréal. He's got three different devices he responds from.

Yeah, he absolutely does. His tablet, his phone, his computer. That's not an exaggeration, ladies and gentlemen. All right.

I got a top five list that I think the room is going to like. It's top five opening scenes in honor of opening day. Nice. Number five, who can forget the opening scene of No Country for Old Men? When Javier Bardem, as the greatest villain of all time, pulls out that cattle prod killer and you've got a cop who pulls him over, you realize you're about to watch Greatness. Number 4, Basic Instinct. When Sharon Stone takes the ice pick to John Johnny Baz while they're having sex, you're in a movie theater in a crowded theater in New York City thinking to yourself, Wow, we may be on to something in this movie, and it was only just beginning. Prime Sharon Stone.

I was not expecting such steamy, scandalous, sultry material. Bravo, David Samson. I hope Body heat makes an appearance as well.

Prime Sharon Stone, by the way. Yice. Yes.

Number three.

Toe Girls. Jaws.

It's the intensity of the opening scene when that swimmer, you realize, you know it's a bad movie about sharks and people being eaten, but you have no way of knowing what the anxiety level is going to be for the entire movie, and it starts with that opening scene. Number two, Saving Private Ryan.

There's been a lot of war movies over the years, but the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan when they stormed the beach, it's a long longer scene than most, and I'm not sure I've seen a better.

There is no better opening scene of a war movie, and it's the second best opening scene of any movie ever.

I will say for the Basic Instinct fans out there as well, if you want a companion piece, instead of Saving Private Ryan, you can watch Shaving Ryan's Privates. That's another story. Okay.

The Adman. And the number... And the number... Keep it together, boys.

That wasn't a war film, by the way. That's a different What movie?

The number one opening scene of all time, and this is, I assume it's number one on your list, too, Adnan, is Inglourious Bastards.

Nailed it. I told him meeting this year. I was like, I don't know, war movies. I feel like I have one better of an opening scene.

Wow, you didn't go with Billy, huh?

Which one?

In Glories Bastards. That's what it was. In Glories Bastards, that's what it was. Classified as a war movie.

So I don't necessarily view In Glories Bastards as a war movie. When I'm picturing war movies, I'm thinking Platoon, Apocalypse Now. It's more of a Chin-up movie. Movies like that. The opening scene of In Glories Bastards, when they're in the shed, the tension that you get. He won the Oscar. It was that scene that won him the Oscar, Christopher Waits. I'm just thinking to myself, very few movies do you remember how you were feeling when you were watching a particular moment the first time you ever saw it. I remember as though it were yesterday because I couldn't forward in my mind how it was going to end. How does that scene end? So powerful. Check out Inglourious Bastards, best opening scene ever.

One correct.

It's not Christopher Waites, it's Christoff Walsh, but David is-Sorry.

Thank you.

Listen, that reveal in the basement is incredible. I've never asked for a glass of milk since then. I'm not fond of that movie. It's pretty incredible.

Now, you got three minutes. Go.

All right, we'll fire through this. I will mention The Social Network.

Great. That is a good scene.

Aaron Soer, can talk a thon right out of the gate. You can tell this guy's a total prick. He's insulting where he's going to school. It sets the tone for the entire movie. It really Sorkin at his best using his verbal linguistics. Number five, David's right. I'm not going to be able to top him, Glourius Bastions, when it comes to Tarantino, but I'll go with Reservoir Dogs. The beginning of Tarantino's career really sets the tone for what his movie's going to be all about. Dialogs, funny, violent, ridiculous, explaining what like a virgin is about. Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, for Life, pounding out of the gate, a guy running away in a robbery. I mean, Ewen McGregor hits the ground running, Danny Boyle, awesome. Number three, Malcolm X. You've got a speech of Malcolm X. You've got the American flag being burned into an X, intercut with Rodney King's beating. If you want my attention, Spike Lee, you have it. That's about as audacious as it gets, Malcolm X at number three. Number two, an oldie but a goodie, Sunset Boulevard. The movie starts with a dead guy in a pool, and it's his voice narrating what has happened to him.

In 1960, it was powerful. In 2024, it's powerful. It's a great movie. Looking up Gloria Swanson, I am big.

I don't know how you do it, Cody.

Number one, Up.

That's a great one. That's good.

That's a good one.

That's a good one. That's a good open.

That's for nine minutes, boy. They tell his entire life story of 70 years. There's one shot which will break your heart. It goes to them painting the nursery. The camera pans head down cast miscarriage. I'm like, This is incredible. You tell an entire life story in nine minutes, you can't top picture. You can't top up at number one.

You're tripping head, man.

No, he's so right here. All you have to do is think about that opening scene and you can get Thierry That is spectacular. I couldn't agree with you more.

I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm going with Samson's Liz this week. Oh, wow. No, come on, Adnan.

God, that must hurt him, man.

Look, man, you have some out there takes, but today you were as close to being right as I've ever heard you be on one of these movie segments.

Give me at least one of his five you weren't crazy about. Jaws, come on.

Give me one of those. See, I don't remember Jaws' opening scene. That's the problem. It's not as memorable. I'm surprised, as Roy pointed out, no one had Belly when they're walking through the strip club and the black lights are on and then they start shooting everybody. I'm also surprised no one had Pulp Fiction. I love you, Honey Bunny.

Love that. Amanda Plumber.

Opening scene of Blade. How about the Dark Knight?

Dark Knight. Dark Knight was up there. Dark Knight rises.

Adam Sandler, Billy Madison.

Just remember, it's not how you finish, it's how you start.

Happy opening to everybody.

For Bridget Christ, the road to love was not so straightforward. Bridgie, I forbid you for marrying that spendthrift, you Miles car.

What the devil is that?

I'm setting up an M50 video account on my mobile cellular telephone, thus procuring a discount on the M50 highway toll path. Very prudent, Mr. Carr. It seems I've misjudged you. Eflow presents accounts and accountability. Pay your tolls automatically and get a discount with a free M50 video tolling account at eFlow. Ie.

Don Levatard.

David Samson, weirdo. Because He was not the fun substitute teacher who'd wheel out a TV and play a VHS tape of Armageddon in science class. He was the weird one who would eat an egg salad sandwich while clipping his toenails into the trash can and ranting about Ronald Reagan.

Stugatz.

The guy kept talking about how his ass was smooth, smoother than a newborn's cheek.

He wouldn't stop bragging about his bare buttocks to me.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

Ladies and gentlemen, this really happened. The news breaks and the guests that we have on in the prior segment is perfect to talk about the news. We've asked David Samson to stick around. He's been gracious enough to give us some more time because right at the end of that segment with Adnan, the news came out. The Minnesota Timberwolves put out an official statement saying that Glenn Taylor is no longer selling the team due to the expiration of the option of Mark Lory and Alex Rodriguez to acquire a controlling interest in the Timberwolves and the Lynx. David, you saw this coming.

I did. So let's take people back. Before he was having a legal practice in Minnesota, before he bought a house and pretend that he was from Minnesota. He agreed to buy the Timberwolves at a price of $1.5 billion in 2021. But it was something called a step transaction. A step transaction means you lock in the value today, but you pay over time. There are deadlines contained within the purchase agreement that you have to make your next installment payment by a certain day. Arod has missed just about every deadline. And Glenn Taylor has been okay. He said, Hey, we'll extend the deadline. Don't worry about it. But meanwhile, the price of basketball teams have skyrocketed since 2021. So the Timberwolves are no longer worth 1.5. Let's say they're worth about 2.5. So that means that Glenn Taylor feels terribly that he sold the team at one and a half when he could have sold it at two and a half. But he was in a contract, nothing he could do. Until Aarod missed another deadline. And there were rumors that the Carlyle Group pulled out. And then 10 minutes later, Aarod had another deal with another private equity company, and it was all horse hockey.

Aarod has never been able to come up with the money to finish this transaction. So today, Glenn Teller said, Gnug, guess what, Alex? The team's not for sale anymore. You violated the contract. What he also said in the release is, Hey, if they We don't want to come back and talk. We can keep talking about selling the team. But guess what? An official wait to see here on Levitard show, courtesy of nothing personal. If the team is sold again by Glenn Taylor to Aarod, it won't be for 1.5..

Now, before I get into further details here, I just need to know, why are you so ecstatic about this? You are filled with glee at this point to break this down.

Because I've been calling this for two years. Because I negotiated with Aarod to buy the Marlins, and he had everything except the money. It was always going to be an issue. He wants to be an owner so badly that he pretended he wanted to be in Minnesota, but he never was able to hit a deadline. Finally, Glenn Teller said, You know what? It's cool that you're Aarod, but money is way more important.

What was Mark Lory's role, if not to be the money?

Mark Lory was brought in to be a percentage of the money, but he had given his allocation at the first go-around. So he was never going to be part of the increased finishing the installments. It always had to be OPM, other people's money. And Arod has been out raising money for years and just has been unable to do it. And here's why. Arod could have borrowed money and gotten investors at the $1.5 billion number, but Arod always was trying to make a Beckham-like profit like Beckham did in Inter Miami. He was selling of the team at numbers higher than 1.5. People were like, Hey, why do you get this incredible benefit of having such a low basis? And now it's all done.

David, one of the things that was part of this step transaction was, I believe that first payment that was made acquired 20% of the ownership state. Then there were these other deadlines that was going to increase until the last one, which was end of March, was going to be the one that would have them as the majority owners of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Those prior payments that have been made, so does this just keep them as minority owners? Did it get a refund? How does that work?

No, he is a minority. There's two ways it can go. You have to look at the contract. Contracts can have two different provisions. One can be that if any installment payment is not made, then the entire contract is void and the money gets returned to the investor, in this case, Aarod. It can be returned with a premium. They can It can be go to appraisal if the team is worth more since the first sale. So Glenn Teller has to give Aarod a little bit more for his money to get that money back. Or it can be that Aarod stays as a limited partner with the percentage he already owned because he made those first installments. So I don't know what the contract says, but it's one of those two things.

This is a bizarre... This is one of several bizarre sales that have happened in the NBA recently. The Charlotte Hornets one, I think, is a a lot more complex than people understand. I know that Gabe Plotkin, who, if that name sounds familiar from the movie Dumb Money or from the GameStop Crisis, it is. It's the one and the same.

Same guy.

But he's It's a weird transaction where even though he's the name and he's the one buying the team, the secondary investor partner in that actually gets to be the governor for the first five years before it reverts over to Gabe Plotkin because he's the one that put the money up, and then Gabe Plotkin has to pay him back over the five years. If not, he's no longer the governor of the team. David, is it just me or are we having more and more of these sales that seem to be more complex like that as opposed to the straightforward, Hey, I want to buy your team. Here's the money. Let's go.

Well, listen, the number one straightforward of all time was Steve Ballmer. Yeah, cash. He went to the ATM, took out a couple of bill. Sterling was gone. Ballmer was in. It was a dream come true for Adam Silver. But the number of people in the world who can do transactions like that is very, very small. So when the value of the assets of these teams continues to increase, you need groups of people. Like Bruce Sherman has a group of 10 or 20 people helping him do the Marlins transaction. When you look at what David Rubenstein just did with the Orials, they listed all the limited partners. You're cobbling together, cobbling. You're putting together 20 million pieces of 20 million each. You need a lot of money, which is why the NFL is looking into allowing sovereign fund money. And basketball and baseball already do allow it because you want to keep the value of teams increasing. To do that, you have to find big chunks of change from people who don't want control. And in the real world, an individual doesn't want to give you $300 million for the purchase of a team and not be allowed in the clubhouse.

Or not be allowed in an owner's meeting, or not be allowed to make a trade. So it's super hard to put these deals together now.

It's funny because that's the point of buying a team, right? The point of buying a team is like, I want to play fantasy basketball for real. And so the idea that people would invest the majority of the money and say, No, no, you go ahead and have fun with that. I just wanted to be part of the financial process. It's pretty much what Mark Cuban would have us believe happened in Dallas. He sold to the Adelson's And the idea is like, no, but I still control every element of basketball ops. I answer to no one. They just front money and do the business. It just doesn't make sense.

And I don't think that's the case. I think you have to look to see who the governor is with Cuban and the Mavericks. And I'll bet you a dollar, the governor is not Mark Cuban anymore. It is the son of, I think her name was Miriam Edelson. So what's interesting, George Starnbender once said something to me. Play it because it is true. But if it's true, you don't get to play it. I don't even know the rules. If it's true, it's contextualized. You don't have to play it.

You called it on yourself. I got to hit it when you call it on yourself.

But also the rule is if you're name dropping, right?

You could have said it-This is not a name drop because what he said was important for him to say it. There's nothing more limiting than being my limited partner. And what that means is if you're not in the room where it happens, you're not in control, then really, what you doing? You get to go to cocktail parties and say, Yeah, I'm the owner of a team. That's whatever. But to really be the owner, you have to be the control person, and it's really hard to be the control person of a team.

Now, David, one of the things You mentioned the Carlyle Group earlier. That was the original firm that A-Rod had secured financing through. Axios had come out with a report saying that they were out because some of the stuff in their portfolio portfolio ran a foul of the NBA guidelines, bylines, whatever. There's another report that came out. I said, No, they weren't denied. They pulled out. Either way, I don't care what the truth is. I just do want to know, for a sports league, a major league sports like MLB, like the NBA, what would be the type of things that would be in these rules and guidelines where someone else's portfolio would run a foul up?

Well, funny, it used to be gambling. That was the big thing that they looked for, that if anyone was associated with any casino or gambling, they were not eligible to be a limited partner. There is tremendous background checks that go in when you become a limited partner in baseball, there is full background, full check on who you are, who you're associated with. You've got to pass through the ownership committee, the executive council, then the full vote of the owners in Major League Base to say nothing of the commissioners office. So they're looking for any dealings. But let's be honest, Steve Cohen's background wasn't exactly perfect. He had been in the middle of some major suits, some major workplace issues, some major SEC violations. And guess what? If the price is right, Bob Barker, we're going to find a way to approve you. And so I believe that Carlyle pulled out, and it's not that the NBA turned them down, because these leads colleagues know now that when you find chunks of change, you really need to take it because the Commissioner who wants his job and wants to keep his job, wants to keep the value of the teams going up.

And to do that, you need lots of people with lots of money.

This interview with David Samson is presented by LinkedIn Jobs.

How about that?

That's pretty good. It's a good job to try to figure out how to be a limited partner in a team. The interesting thing will be going forward with the T-Wolves because it's such It's a distraction, the whole sales process. You know this, I mean, inside a locker room, and the T-Wolves have a chance to actually make a deep payoff run here in the next few months. And I wonder whether the timing of this is Glenn Taylor saying, Hey, I want to see if I can win a title right now. I don't want A-Rod to get the team at that old valuation. So I'm going to announce this today and then take it from here.

Yeah, that's the other part about this. When he agreed to sell beyond the price being a lot lower, the timbrals were a lot worse as a team. Now they're finally getting good. Like, hell no. I'm holding on to this for a little bit longer to see where it goes. David Samson. Again, the Nothing Personal Tour starts in Philadelphia. Tickets are available. Davidsamsonpodcast. Com. And of course, listen to Nothing Personal. Thank you, David, for sticking around.

Thank you. Don Lebatard.

And finally, abstaining from food for 16 to 18 hours a day could be key to treating a variety of health conditions like stabilizing blood sugar levels and increasing resistance to stress. Stugatz. Mike, are you doing something like this right now?

I lost a lot of weight doing intermittent fasting and low carb, so now I'm getting back to it.

But how much in that 6 to 8 hour window, how much can you eat?

Unlimited?

If I could just eat unlimited, I'd do that.

That'd be fun.

For 6 to 8 hours.

You can't eat unlimited.

Try me.

No, I mean... This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. This is the worst first take question ever. Is it bad for the NBA if LeBron Steph and Katie are in the play-in? Are you kidding? It's insane.

Are you kidding?

It's the opposite.

It's what they want.

It's exactly what they want. Hey, watch these games.

Jay Williams also said earlier on first take that high-level people in the NBA are questioning Steph Curry's leadership because of Draymon.

Because he started crying. That's why. It's ridiculous. He started crying, man. You start crying. People start questioning your leadership. I don't want a leader to cry. I want a leader who's like, I know what to do. And what to do is drill this three in Jalen Sugs mug.

And then kick the chair. They kick the chair and tell him to go to bed.

The nap time celebration is simultaneously the most wholesome and most disrespectful celebration there is. That is not wholesome, man. It's wholesome because- Take it a nap. Roy, I'm going to tell you why it's wholesome. No, I'm a parent. You're a parent. A lot of us here are parents. You wouldn't feel bad about your child seeing like, What's that about? Sam Casselle doing this? What's this, Daddy? Nothing. Don't worry about it. But what's that? He's putting in the bed. Oh, it's bedtime.

Oh, that's cool. So explaining it to your children is why it's wholesome.

That's what makes it wholesome. If you could show it to your kids and not have to have an awkward explanation, it's wholesome. Now, it's disrespectful because he's calling them babies. He said, Get these babies off me. This baby is trying to guard me. Jalen Sugs is a good defensive player. Jalen Sugs fancies himself as a lockdown defensive player, and I think he is. But he ain't locking down no Steph Curry, though.

What about LeBron's thing? Is that disrespectful?

Push the floor down?

Push down and then the three on...

It's elaborate.

Because it's all about me. Not disrespectful.

It is elaborate.

That's the difference is Steph is just just gone to sleep where LeBron's pumping himself up.

Just go to bed. But no, it's not go to bed. It's like it's bedtime, bitch. That's what he's saying.

That's why it's perfect because it's veiled as wholesome, but it's actually disrespectful. That's actually Steph Curry's whole thing.

I have an idea for a new disrespectful celebration that is still wholesome. Maybe not so wholesome now that I think about it, but I'll say it anyway. This is what I want. I don't care what player. Any player in the NBA, you can take this one, but you got to be a killer out here. You can't be someone who just does it once and then goes back to your normal life as a role player. I need someone who's taking hearts. You need a dog. I need a dog. I need someone who's taking hearts like Steph Curry took that heart last night. You You hit the shot, you come back down the court, and then you mime, taking off your belt, folding it up, and then, wow, wow, wow.Shout abuse? Are you kidding?And then you grab theThe snap. The snap. The snap is a good one.

I remember Robin Harris in House Party. It started as, Oh, a wholesome celebration.

Then you put the belt back on and you walk to the bench. I like it. I think it's dope, man. I think that because it lets everybody know. Who's Daddy? Exactly. Is that wholesome? I'm your father.

It's wholesome in another area. My favorite one is James Harden because he's not talking... His is like, cook it, right?

Yeah, I'm cooking.

Yeah. So that's like, he's just talking about himself. I'm cooking right now. I'm not disrespecting anyone. I'm not cover me.

Dame time is perfect. Dame time is That's the best.

It's wholesome and disrespectful. Because it's like...

But that's about him. He's not talking about anyone else there. That's Dame time.

It's me. No, no, no. What he's telling is like, it's about that time, right? But the problem is-For me.

The problem, the hole-For me to end you.

For me to end you. Because here's the thing. Here's the reason why Curry's is more disrespectful than Dames. Because I can be at a restaurant, a club, a bar, a party, and say, All right, guys, it's time to go. We're closing. It's time to go. And that's not disrespectful because these are adults. I'm an adult. But when you say it's bedtime, I'm talking to a little kid. I'm talking to a baby.

I'm putting you to sleep.

Yeah, but I tuck in a little kid. Hey, come here. Yes. Come here.

Right. But I'm talking to adults, Chris.

Have you guys ever cocooned? I do it for my daughters.

Well, when you're doing that to the Orlando Magic, who are a young team, like Jalen Sugs, who's a young defender who's probably going to be all NBA as a defensive player this year. He's had a great year. He's had an unbelievable year defensively. Then How can you do that? We're just, Good night.

The one he hit against Dylan Brooks earlier this year might be my favorite time he's ever done that. Even better than the one in the finals. The one in the finals is pretty cold because... It's really good. I'm going to tell you why the one in the... Okay, I take that back. Now, I take another. I was going to Okay.

There it is. The stakes were really high.

It's not just the stakes, Tony. It's because you realize, Oh, he's not just talking about this game. He's saying this series is bedtime. That's You're seizing your existence, Boston. It's a wrap. That's what made it super special. This Rockets one, you guys have to have another game tomorrow, whatever. But it still was so... Because he was laughing. He laughed at Dylan Brooks and then put him to bed.

I mean, it's just like Damian Lillet going bye-bye.

Oh, yeah, that was a good one. That was so good.

Did Jordan have one of these? Was his the shrug?

But the shrug wasn't a consistent one. It was a singular moment in time. Mid-game. Jordan was almost... I mean, it's a fist pump. It's almost like Tiger Woods.

Not almost like Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods ripped it off of Michael Jordan. Right.

Kobe, the same thing.

Yannis flexes. That seems to be Yannis' move.

Jimmy just falls down and lays down and puts his hands behind his head. He just lays on the floor like, I've been working too hard.Melo.

With the three.That's just...

That's hitting a three, though. That's a different story.

We're looking for the ender. This is the finishing move in mortal combat.

The Kimbe Matumbo.

That's a finger wag.

That's just a block for a block.

That's disrespectful. It's actually pretty polite.

It's like, no. Holesome. Not in the house of Mutumbo.

No, not in the house of Mutumbo.

It's like Babu Bot.

No, No, no, no.

Iverson didn't really have one.

Iverson did. Oh, the cupping of the ear was Iverson.

I'm stepping over Tyron Lou.

But that was a singular thing.

I know. I'm not saying that was his thing.

No, but the cupping of the ear, which was a wrestling thing. Iverson was the first one to be in the NBA to run across and listen to the crowd. I'll never forget the intro scene for NBA 2K 2, right? Because he was on the cover and it was all these different highlights. And then the last thing was him cupping and the crowd going, MVP, MVP. It's like, Oh, I got goosebumps right now thinking about it. 2k used to have some great intros, man.

I don't like Trey Young's. Oh, Ice. I'm cold. He's acting like he's cold.

The best was He hit what he thought was a game winner.

We've got the 2K to it.

Oh, my God. Yeah, look at that. Oh, God. That cross-up. Sean Mary with the little windmill. David Sauer, the alley-up. She'd come down. Oh, that was Ray Allen, a game winner, a game-tying dunk. Stefan Marbury with the alley-up.

Russell Westbrook has a Rock the Baby type of-Yes, that's a good one.

It's derivative, though. Dirk Dunk. Yeah, Dirk Dunk from Steve Nash. Reggie Miller, tough buzzer beater right there. Is that Bonsi? Audio audience, you guys are missing out on some great-Just go look up the NBA 2K2 intro because this is spectacular. Nash with the behind the back pass. This was a great editing.

I was just going to say the graphics and the editing could not look more like the early 2000s. But it's so cool.

But it's awesome. But does it not have the MVP at the end? Oh, is that Sega? Oh, maybe I messed up. Maybe it was a different one.

Sega, wow. Hoops back in the day was fire. Let's be honest. What's up? That Hoops back in the day was fire. You look at those names, you're like, wow.

I'm going to tell you right now, Tony.

It's going to be the same when we look back at it in 20 years.

Yes, First of all, 20 years from now, we're going to be talking about, I don't know, Trey Young Jr. Like, Oh, he's not as good as his dad. That's good as his daddy. Trey Young Jr. It's going to be something ridiculous like that. So is your dad. Why would your dad? But the other thing about it, Tony, I'm going to tell you, when you watch that, even when you watch anything from the early 2000s or whatever, we're only remembering the good parts. We're not remembering the wrestling matches. We're not remembering the slow Like '87, '73.

Oh, man.

At the end of regulation, and we're going to overtime. It's one of those things where we have a nostalgia, but the nostalgia almost erases the reality of the day to day.

It covers the sins of what the era was. But when you look at those teams, you look at the Spurs, you look at the Lakers, you look at the Mavericks, all those teams, I remember watching so vividly, and it felt like there were so many stars across the league that now it feels like there's pockets.

Really? I feel like now, back in the day, there were so many bad teams or teams that legitimately, all right, you're not bad, but you have no shot at this. And I look now across the NBA.

Were you going to play Shot or No Shot? Did they have a shot or not? That's pretty good.

Also, thinking about that era, my favorite series that I watched as a kid was the 2005, and they didn't even win it. The Heat didn't win. But the 2005 Eastern Conference finals between the Pistons and the Heat, that went seven games. Game seven, Detroit Pistons won 88 to 82. Come on.

It was ugly.Ugly.

Basketball.it was rock burn. You look back and you look at that team as one of the best. You look at, I mean, Rasheed Wallace was playing offense for them. You had Shaq and Dwyane Wade, and yet, I mean, truly dreadful scores.

Oh, man. Pet rally basketball right there. But to my point, Tony, when you look at, all right, Boston has Tatum and Brown. The Bucks have Yannis and Dane. The Knicks have Jalen Brunson. The Cavs have Donovan Mitchell and Darius Garland, and maybe Evan Mobley soon, right? Orlando. Bunkero. Bunkero, right? Pacers Halliburton, and Siakerman, Miami, Jimmy, and Bam, Philly, Embiid, and Maxi. Now, I'm deep in the conference. If I go over to the West, Jokich, you've got Anthony Edwards.

But if you're thinking back in this time you're I'm talking about, those bad teams had a good player.

No, they didn't, man. No, I'm going to do this. I'm going to go back to what? Go back.

Let's go back in the way back machine. What year do we want?

What year do we want? Just name a season, a random season.

Let's do '03. Let's do '04.

'03, '04? Yeah. Okay, '03, '04.

Pulling it up right here. So '03, '04 is the first year of LeBron, Melo, and Wade.

Go to the worst team in the league.

The worst team in the league was the Orlando Magic. They didn't have anybody.

The Pistons have Kate Cunningham.

That's not a fan.

They have Hito Turcalou or something? Who did they have?

No, I think Hito was with the Kings at that time.

Yeah, Hito was still with the Kings. A young Hito. Orlando in 2003, right? That's what we're asking to. Jamir Nelson. Jamir Nelson was never a star. He was a good player. He was an all-star, but he wasn't a star player. No, you're right.

If he's their best player, that's a bad rest.

Okay, here we go. Their best players were... Oh, wait a second.

Okay, hold on.

Keep going. See? Exactly.

Who was it? I forgot to have my guy, Mac.

It looks like I was right.

No, no, no. The Clippers.

Clippers. Second worst team.

Lamar Odom, I think, was on that team.

See, dude, every team had good players.

No, no, no. Lamar Odom wasn't. But see, that's different.

But then you're going to get to the guy.

Come on.

Wait a second. He was the number two.

Come on. Wasn't it Coutino Mowly on that team? But he's not a star. Elton Brand early?

No, not then. Not in '03. Elton Brand was there. Sure. Elton Brand was there. Elton Brand was there. Elton Brand was like, That's a sturdy player. Chris Kamen. The Candyman. Cory Maggette. Cory Maggette was nice.

What are we doing? Cory Maggette was nice. Keon Dooling.

These guys are fun, but they weren't stars, man. It's not like Halliburton and the guys that we're seeing are going to carry the-I could do this all day just reading all the rest.

Chicago.how.

About Chicago?

We're on out of time here, man.

They had...Who'd they have? Give me one name.Jamal Crawford.

Come on. Young Jay crossover?

I love this game.

For Bridget Christ, the road to love was not so straightforward. Bridgie, I forbid you for marrying that spendthrift-yield Miles car.

What the devil is that?

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