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Draftkings Network.

This is the Dan Leviton.

Show with the Stuck At's Podcast.

This is very exciting. We've got a big reveal coming up here. Mike Ryan's handsome father, who never seems to age, just statuesque from a different time, smelling of cologne and sensuality, walks into a room, just steams it up. Let's unveil for America right now. The beauty and the heroism of Mike Ryan's dad whose texts he doesn't want to answer. There he is, ladies and gentlemen. The elevator. Mike Ryan's beautiful dad is here. What time is it? Now, everyone can see what Mike Ryan is going to look like in the future if this job doesn't chew him up and fart him out. He can look like Mike's beautiful dad.

He'd be lucky to look like that in the future. Oh, my God. I haven't seen him in five years, and somehow he's gotten younger.

It's untrue. A Lothario, radiant, just beautiful.

It smells fantastic as well. Reaks of.

Sunshine and rainbows.

That hair is suspiciously dark.

Oh, all right. Well, let's turn the microphone on so that Mike Ryan may quiz his father on suspiciously dark hair, the Mike Ryan insider information train that he owns like no other.

Dad, do you dye your hair? Only my.

Hairdresser knows for sure. A coy response.

He doesn't have a barber. He has a hairdresser.

He's beautiful. Tony's threatened right now. Young Tony is threatened. Is it not true, Tony?

One day I'll look like this. He's got the Rolex going. He's got the slick back hair. This is my future.

Chris, it's weird. Look at how your dad is aged.

Yeah, I don't know what happened to my dad. What's your secret?

My dad's older.

What? What? No way.

No, they can't be true. Yeah. How old is Greg?

67.

That checks out.

Dad, how old.

Are you? Don't reveal his age.

Oh, my God. Can I take the fifth one out? He's beautiful. My dad is so funny. He's in the dating scene. He's pretty much been in the dating scene my entire life. Hell, yeah. There was one day a couple of weeks ago where he was, Yeah, it's my birthday. I don't think my date is going to be doing anything for it. I'm bummed about that. I'm like, Well, does she know it's your birthday? He's like, No, because then I have to tell her what my age is.

I want to make you our Golden Bachelor. If Shannon Sharp and Stephen A. Smith can set up.

Their things- I don't have a present, anyways.

If Stephen A. Smith and Shannon Sharp can set up their things as personal dating sites, I want to do a personal Golden Bachelor where we sell off your dating because everybody who listens to us wants to be with you. Oh, wow. Okay, keep the votes coming. All right, he's in. Mike Ryan there. What are we voting? There we are, Mike. We've got to figure out how to do it. I put you in charge of that. It could be your next Metalark project when you leave the executive producer role. Find My Stepmother. It's a great show.

It's a great show. Find My Stepmother.

It's a great show. Find My Stepmother, hosted by you, repairing all the relationship with your father that.

Has what-Why is Jess campaigning to be on the show?

Because it's a great show. She's doing it for the bit. Just a Lord over me.

I don't know what you mean. It's a great show. He's a very handsome man.

Wow. Okay. All right. Enough with the discomfort of this. I've had.

Enough compliments today. All right.

Get out of here. Go sit in the penalty box.

You're acting like you didn't know this. All right.

Take him out of here.

The.

Penalty box is in the.

Penalty box.

Can.

I sit with him?

Yeah, go ahead. Go sit with him. You go sit with him. He smells so good. Yeah, he does smell good. Mike, we'll let.

You come on vacation with us. It's all right.

He can hold you in the penalty box. I've been wanting to do this for years. Thank you. Your relationship with your father is a funny one. Stugantz was begging me to ask him about the college football playoff, but I think we've talked about that enough.

He's been following colleges this year. He loves McAfee. He really does. He's so charismatic.

Do you want to go to him? Please, no. Do you want to go to him? How do you feel about this golden bachelor? Oh, that's good. His dad? Are you kidding me? On the therapy couch talking about Mike? He doesn't know how to share. He doesn't What? What are you staring at me for?

Let's just get the psychag over with and get him in the penalty box.

Why did you bring him in here?

I'm surprised. He had his day off, and he asked. I've never really brought mine. I said, Yes. I'm like, Yeah, sure, why not? Proud of what it is that we've done here, and it's a lot cooler place than the Clevelander. I love it here at the Elser. I wanted him to.

Scope the spot. If he stays with me longer, he'll never have to work again a day in his life.

Chris, Cody. What's up? Have you.

Gotten- I've got them too. There, I said it.

This time you did say it.

Everyone wants a piece. Two gods is...

What is it?

Wow, it's sharing a nice moment.

Put it on the pole. -i'm just sharing a nice moment. Chris Cody, Want to bleep more? There I said it. Dolly partner, Mike's dad.

Close.

At Levitard show. He is beautiful, Mike. I mean, he's a silver-He's a very good looking man. He's a silver father. He's a.

Silver father. I did improv, too.

You've been a lot funnier. Him trying to take the elevator down, I did not. I didn't think you had it.

In him. But, Mike, your father embarrasses you because he's a little cheesy, right?

No, that's not why he embarrasses me. But he's doing great today. He's doing fantastic. It's awesome.

Other than calling me Greg.

But did you get off Chris? Honestly, so you descend from your father. Your father's the biggest.

Dolphins' homer. I can confirm that I descend from.

My father. No, I'm talking to Chris Cody that he more literally symbolically descends from his father's a homer and he is his father's son. And today is the best day in Dolphins history for the Cody family in the last 25 years of sharing Dolphins sports as a family, not just with his dad, with his mom, too. Today is the best the Dolphins have felt since when.

What are we doing with today?

They're at the top of the conference.

They.

Are the number-The Jags win tonight.

No, but it's...

Okay, but-I'm just saying, I'm not... Dan, I'm seeing a lot of good mobile quarterbacks. I'm not going to lie, the last few weeks, my confidence in the Dolphins has actually gone down a little. That's because I'm not looking at the wins that they're getting. I'm looking at other teams and other quarterbacks when plays break down outside of the pocket. I just see, Tua, and he needs everything to be perfect. I don't know, that's why I've actually been going the other way the last.

Few weeks with the Dolphins. They scored 45. What more do you want them.

To do yesterday? I just fear that when we... Because I think we've gotten to the point. We're better than all these bad teams. We're going to be in the playoff. Now the conversation becomes.

How are we going.

To do in the playoff? The conversation becomes if Baltimore comes here in Kansas City, are they going to slow your offense because they're one of the good teams. You want to get the by so you're healthy, and then you want to get two games against a team you don't fear. Why are you fearful today after winning 45 to 15?

I'm fearful because I see a lot of quarterbacks that when they get out of the pocket that I... Josh Allen, Hertz, Mohomes, I see these guys out of the pocket and I'm like, They're more dangerous there. When Tua gets out of the pocket, I'm scared shitless. I just think the Dolphins have to have everything go perfectly for them and the way they've.

Played so far this year. Defensively, too. You really haven't had a mobile quarterback that hasn't done a good job against the Dolphins, right? Josh Allen, W. J. L. Hurtz, W. Mohomes used his legs a lot in that game to beat the Dolphins. Now you're going to play who can run. Now you can play Lamar Jackson, who's going to run the next couple of games. This is a.

Big test for them. Dan, I'm actually saying the opposite of what you're saying. I think I'm over that honeymoon phase with this team like we were early in the season. Now I'm in the mode of, Can we actually win some games in the playoffs? I'm not saying the answer is no. I'm just saying I'm a little nervous when I see these mobile quarterbacks.

Do you think I have this wrong when I simply say to you, because through all of these injuries that you have to sustain, the idea that, again, why did you bring him in here with you?

He smells so good.

Okay.

So you-And he cares about me in a way that you don't. I mean, he's rubbing my hair. -he's giving me a massage. -dripping the hips there. Hey, easy over there.

Yeah, it's weird. All of it is a little weird. But the thing that we haven't been able to say, Chris Cody, about this dolphin team, you're actually showing very reasonable perspective at what could be a hysterical time. All of these people get injured. Through those injuries, the Dolphins have beaten those teams on their schedule to have the position that the Patriots have had that was the greatest advantage they have. You win this division, you get a buy, then you play against two teams with quick throws who are top, one of whom has played the previous week. Look how Detroit came out yesterday. Health matters in that sport. When they sit out a week and they're stronger, they're physically in a what?

What do you mean what? I was just watching you at work. I mean, you're killing it right now.

You got me back, by the way. Now I'm confident again. You just.

Did it. Health. No, but I'm not trying to actually talk. Your perspective is the right one to say, I saw San Francisco in Philadelphia, and I saw how those teams can beat the Dolphins. You hold them to 17 points, Tyreke, does it look like that? Because all of a sudden you're in third long all the time, and they don't have any confusion about whether you're running or passing. Then the offense slows a little bit, and Philadelphia grinds you to dust because you saw Philadelphia and San Francisco, but they're going to beat the shit out of each other literally over in that conference. You only have to beat one of them. That's what the Patriots did a lot from the top of this division and the top of this conference. I haven't been able to say for 25 years that this is where this Dolphins team has been. If you're not excited in December, you're viewing.

This wrong. I'm excited, but I'm just a little apprehensive because I see a lot of good teams around.

Mike, you seem upset. It's okay, son. It's going to be okay.

What's the matter?

Mike, what do I do with your dad and the fact that Stugart's brought him back in here, and I don't know what to do with him?

You want to sit on his other knee?

What we like one day? Stugart's has been complaining about being tired. Should his dad sit in the seat for a segment to replace Stugats so that Stugart's can take a break because he's worked, Godless football came out very early this morning.

Yeah, it did. What are your thoughts on the college football playoff, Mr. Ryan?

Oh, gosh.

How.

Come Georgia.

Is not in a bowl game? It's a fair question to ask. I didn't think he was going to pull that one out. I got so lucky there.

I like this as a Ritrilquist and a puppet. See if the takes can come out here from something more beautiful than the ragged thing over here. Don Libertard. He has been tremount to.

The.

Top, everyone, with a story where he pees more than youdo. Stoo Gots.

I always leave a hand on that. I hate the chicken. Because he's so vulnerable, I just unfairly fade down the chickens. He's just leaves him by himself.

This is the.

Dan Levitard show.

With the Stoo Gots.

It is time for Stoo Gots to share his game notes.

No one in the.

Media will tell you what happened better than.

My boy, Stue. Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Light, Great Taste, 96 calories available for delivery. Dan, they lost in week two and benched their quarterback. They were tied at half-time with USF, barely beat a dreadful Arkansas team, needed a miracle to beat an Auburn team that lost to New Mexico State by double digits. But Dan, on the biggest stage with the brightest lights against the team, riding a 29-game winning streak. That's when this team plays its best. Last, and Saturday was no different, as they beat Georgia 27-24. And Dan, just like that. Make no mistake about it, Alabama.

Is back. I hated myself yesterday because on a Sunday, I was actually thinking, Who's going to be his he's back? I thought for sure it would be Joe Flacko.

It was close. He was in.

Second place. I thought for sure- It.

Was.

Close, Dan -for sure, Joe Flacko, he needed to win.

He did, yes.

He.

Played well. I mean, listen, with him, the jets would be 10 and 2, but Joe Flacko needed to win. It came down to him winning. He lost. He's not back.

I hated myself when I'm like-.

He should. It's a sad way to.

Spend the Sunday. Which of his? Well, Sundays are disgusting, let's be honest. They're wonderful. But at the end of them, I feel bad about.

Who I am. Tony's saying back here that he looked good yesterday, Flacko, I don't believe that.

Flacko looked good yesterday.

I don't believe that.

He looked good. Thank you. I watched.

Every second of it.

He always does. Yeah. He's a statue with a big arm.

The air hasn't moved.

What did you watch, Mike? That was Moore's spot.

Moore's got to be better there. I mean, if it comes down to a debate who screwed up Flacko or Moore, it's Moore. Right.

Flacko played a game that surprised me that he can get off a plane, show up in Cleveland, and do that. Do 44 times.

I have to admit, he throws a pretty ball.

He really does. Even the interception is like, God, I love it. The deep ball is still there, by the way. Well, but it was stupid.

He threw- It will never.

Leave us. Regardless. Again, Moore's fault.

But Alabama is back. Roll tide. This is all Auburn's fault. It really is. It is. You know what the A in Auburn stands for? All their fault.

Wow. It is all their fault. It was on your game. It was four than goal. You had them beat. We wouldn't have to be discussing any of this.

If it all plays out the same, except Alabama loses to Auburn, is F. S. U. In today? Huh?

I.

Don't know. Maybe we talk ourselves into Georgia. Okay. At that point, I think we start talking ourselves into Georgia.

For sure, SCCT.

Or Ohio State gets crept back into the conversation.

Yes.

Yes.

Florida State, I never said do it against L. S. U. I said do it against Alabama. Yeah, you did. Texas did, and look what happened. That's right.

Thank you. Yeah, Alabama still got in, even though it got done with them.

How does Stugat's win in this scenario, too? Where Alabama's in, but we're all like, This is assinine.

One team no one was arguing about, Texas. Did it against Bamma.

By two touchdowns at Alabama. All of us acknowledge, Okay, that's the best win of the season.

Look where Jaylen Millrow is now. Texas made Alabama bench him with their performance in Tuscaloosa.

We thought they didn't have a quarterback. They were going into South Florida with Rain, and we're like, I think South Florida can cover six.

And a half. Paul Feinbaum told me and Billy a great story that the reason they bench Millrow in that game was Tommy Reese was convinced the other quarterback was better. So Sabin put the other quarterback in just so Tommy Reese could see how bad he was.

That's ridiculous. That's not checkers. That's not true.

Paul.

Feinbaum? Bullshit story.

Total bullshit.

Sounds good, though. That Sabin is so smart he put in the bad quarterback. It's not that Saban didn't know which one was the bad quarterback because they were both bad, and he's used to having all the best athletes.

He showed Tommy Rees though.

He showed Paul Feinbaum.

Tommy was in his bag Saturday, I'm sorry.

Watching Greg McLaroy. Am I saying that right?

You.

Always get that wrong. It's a tough name.

For me. Yeah, you add an extra L.

No, he's dyslexic. He puts the L before.

The E. Well, thank you. Tell me a team can overcome subpart quarterback play to win a national championship. The G and Greg stands for go look in a mirror. What is he talking about? Dan, you heard it here first. Something was most definitely off in Athens. In other things you heard here first, the Orlando Magic. I told you to watch out. Team is good. I'm not sure I understand the in-season tournament, and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask. The T and Tyler Van Dyk stands for transfer portal. Louis Panella falls just one ballot short of the Hall of Fame. Sweet Lou. I only put it in there to say Sweet Lou.

I did. We didn't talk about Jim Leland getting in and his wife and him talking about it and taking… What happened?

I got to text him and tell him, Congratulations. He made it to the hall. He's my friend.

He did. You want him on? I would like to talk to him. The picture of him taking the call was in some strange, unfurnished Airbnb that it can't be his home. The photograph cannot be the home of Jim Leilland, who only loves baseball in the racetrack and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

The G and Grady Dick stands for G League. When you're turning the Bailey Zappie, you've already lost. Lebron James would skip a Lakers game to watch Bronnie's college debut. Very nice.

How did we not talk about Ime O'Doca getting ejected for just talking trash to LeBron? You can't talk trash as a coach. What did he say? There's not an internet lip reader that can tell us what.

Was said then. It's out there. Yeah, it's out there. It was actually pretty tame. He's like, Worry about yourself, your soft boy, stuff like that.

I think he called them the B word several times.

He was using the B word, and LeBron was on the court being like, Don't talk like that.

I'm not a lip reader. He used the B word earlier on, but their interaction that actually got Udoka tossed, that was pretty tame. They just didn't stop.

Back to LeBron, one of the many reasons he'll never be Michael Jordan. Who does that? Does what? Not MJ. Does what? Then skip your own job to go see your son's college debut, and Jordan would never.

Be a good parent?

No, not Michael.

No time for good parents. Only time for rings, then.

Winning. Stewart. -stu would never skip something to see one of his.

Kids play a sporting event. No, not me. Now you've got two for. The Detroit Pistons becoming the first team in eight years to go winless for a full month. Owen, 15. The D in Detroit stands for didn't win a game all month.

That's impossible. It's pretty amazing.

Utah State quarterback Levi Williams will skip his senior season to apply for Navy Seal training. The Ellen Levi stands for let's all stop and thank him for his service.

Thank you for your service. T-y-f-y-s.

The James Harden experiment isn't working out in Los Angeles. Who could have seen that coming? Getting emotional? I am. I'm crying. I'm crying because teams keep making the same mistake with this guy. He's a bum. He doesn't want to play anymore. He just wants your money. They keep making the same mistake. I feel bad for the Clippers. What? You couldn't even get that out. I don't. Penn State making a 12-team playoff is all the proof we need that we don't need a 12-team playoff.

It's a.

Fair take. Thank you. You know where the 49ers took the Eagles, Dan?

To the Woodshed?

Well, you were good. You are on your game today.

Seriously. I mean, they did.

When does that expression come from? Was it like somebody was spanked out in the Woodshed in the Wild Wild West? Why are we taking someone out to the woodshed? What is happening there? What are the origins of that story?

Child abuse.

All right, great.

North Carolina comes back against Florida State behind a 22-0 run. You want to know why, Dan? Child abuse. Because basketball is a game of runs. Speaking of runs, the Dallas Mavericks with a rare 30-0 run in the game that they lost. I mean, I.

Knew that, but go ahead and read the definition.

Yep, it says this phrase came from the custom of a father taking his offspring to the woodshed to whip him.

Back in the old days, that was okay.

30-0 run.

They lost. I know. 30-0.

John Schyer. Good recruiter. Bad coach. Kentucky. Unveiled a new court in Rupp Arena and proceeded to lose to UNC Wilmington. That was weird. The Seahawks. They should go back to the old court. Also, watch out for UNC Wilmington in March.

Oh, why is that?

Tough out. Why? Senior guard play.

Why else?

Good defense. Tenacious D. Senior guard play. What else? The building blocks to a team. That's going to be a tough out in March.

What.

Else?

That's all I got. Okay, no, that's plenty.

It's not March there.

Okay, you'll be informed then. Yeah. No. No, then. But you'll have those. You'll have guard.

I'll be more.

Prepared for it next time. -experienced guard play.

Watch out for those.

Tanecious D. You can hit the three. Blankety-blank conference.

Senior leadership. If Kentucky did that to Miami, think about what UNC Wilmington would do to them. Yeah.

Well.

Iowa could have played that game for another 10 quarters and still wouldn't have scored.

Stugat, I bet I was under six and a half points for.

The game. I bet I'm under a half point in the first half. Just so comfortable. I bought it.

Up a half. So comfortable. It won't have to have to have that. What an amazing...

Again-i tease their team total by six points and still somehow lost.

You can't believe in I would... The idea, do you know? I've never even seen a team total of six and a half to go under there when all I love is overs. I love overs because I don't have to... I got a shot at overtime. I got bonus time to go under six and a half on a defensive touchdown and to sale all game. No problem. That's crazy to have that. Sure bet. It's free money.

Yeah. Vegas made Alabama an underdog. Cute. Oregon. Washington. What a game. Let's do it again next year in the Big Ten Championship. College football, man. That's funny, right? It's weird, man. Kerby Smart, blah, blah, blah. Georgia's Defense.

Blah, blah, blah.

Oregon, blah, blah, blah. Dan Lanning, blah, blah, blah. Bo Nicks, blah, blah, blah. Come on. Dan, you know what the N in Nicks stands for? Not the NFL. You know what the B in Bo stands for? Better start thinking about getting a job. What? I mean, he's been there for eight years. He's not going to the NFL. He doesn't.

Have been.

There for eight years. His job.

Will be in.

The NFL. No, it won't be.

I've got him as a coordinator in college in five years.

Exactly. You got him being Josh Heifer.

It's projected first round. No.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

Come on. I mean. Bo Nicks, seven years he played? 17 years he played?

Mm-hmm.

He's not that old. He's not Sam Harman. We learned who Bo Nicks was altogether as a nation for beating Alabama back in the quater time when Alabama wasn't a lovable underdog.

Dan, you know what the O in Oregon stands for?

I do not.

Outback Bowl. They're in the New York Sixth Bowl. Oh, they are? Yeah. I'm not trying to change that one. Is there still an outback ball?

I'm not certain there is.

No, not anymore.

I think you're a liar.

You were so proud of that. Listen to him. There's no cheese at Bowie. Will you listen to him? He's now running away from having done no research. Doesn't know that there's not a bowl anymore. He just spits at me over his shoulder. Blooming onion.

That was so good.

They are good. They are delicious, indisputably.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably not going to the college football playoff. Tim Howard was elected to the US Soccer Hall of Fame. There's a US Soccer Hall of Fame? If there is, they shouldn't allow any men into it. The only thing that should be in the men's part of the Soccer Hall of Fame is Christian Pulasik's penis.

Lose the goal is... -it's called Dickle. -it's called Dickle, that's right. Sorry.

No, Landon Donovan? No. Brock Glenn. Great quarterback here. Brock Glenn. The rare combo of a more common last name as your first name and a more common first name as your last name. How about that?

Think about it. I'll do a whole show about that. Can we come up.

With all of.

The-i was confused by the sentence.

Let's do what he's just saying. He's right, though. He is right. He's saying that Glenn would be something that you'd more likely expect as a first name, and Brock would be more likely to be expected as a last name.

You really are on your game today. Yes. Also, a great name for an astronaut. Top five athletes who have a great astronaut name. O-l-i. Quinn Ewers.

But Glenn, you're doing that only because Glenn.

Was an astronaut. Of course, yeah. Number five, Terry Glenn.

That's not a thing.

Number four, Jack Youngblood. Number three, Brock Eward. That's good. Number two, Sam Howell. Number one, Neel O'Donnell.

Captain O'Donnell. Jessica, why are you shaking your head?

No women, so it tracks. Sorry.

Here come the oilers. The biggest upset of the weekend was reading a story about JJ Watt threatening John Rom to sign a deal with Liv Golf. Jj, that Donald Trump is strong in you. The second biggest upset was me reading.

That music didn't help you there on the timing.

Third biggest Washington.

I think. Yes, cheaters never prosper unless they live in Ann Arbor. Dan, you know what the W in Wolfareen stands for? We cheated and no one cares.

It's unbelievable. It really is. You sneak in undefeated. F. S. U. Both their quarterbacks are broken in half physically. Michigan Cheater is like, Yeah, they belong number one C.

The S. And Sam Howell stands for Sacrificial Lamb.

For beating Ohio State, a team that ran the ball. They have Marvin Harrison, so they're not Penn State running the ball 70 straight times. Congratulations on winning that conference by cheating. Everyone knows there are seven teams in the.

Sec that would beat you. No one cares. We got what we want.

We're going to play Alabama now. We'll show you.

Viranova lost to Drexel to finish sixth in a tournament called the Big Five. Hell is going on. Speaking of hell, Art Briles. Dan, those are the weekend observations.

Dan Leberthardt. I actually thought you looked good.

Stugats. I had the beard's grown out a little bit. I got a little life in my face. I feel like. Little tan, Colorado, San Francisco. I had a.

Great time. You got life on your face.

You've got death on your face.

I think you've got 40 to life on your face. This is the Dan Levitard Show.

With the Stugats.

I had something happen to me last week that allowed me to finally test how insultive I am that no one will take my cash anymore because they demand credit cards. And I'm like, Hard-earned American cash that have value as currency everywhere in our world for as long as I'm alive. You will take my cash. Stop forcing me to give you a card. My cash has money.

I'll take it.

Not a big tap guy.

Here's what happened to me, and I want you guys to tell me whether or not I am an asshole for doing this or I am just someone trying to be a freedom fighter on behalf of good old fashioned American cash. I'm at a valet and the valet, I'm holding $20 up at the valet. And the man says to me, We do not take cash. And my question to him, and it was a genuine curiosity of a question, well, what happens if I don't have cards? Does it mean that you will not then take my cash? I didn't even say. I was legitimately asking as a curiosity, but he took it as I don't have cards. I'm like, all right, I'm going to follow this for a second. Now I'm going to say, I don't have cards. I only have $20 cash that I'm going to now entrench myself in this fight.

That would be a great bottom scroll on ESBN. Dan Levitard gets into fight over cash card dispute.

No, but I'm legitimately asking you. I just wanted to see where it would go. Where do you guys think that ends up going now? Because I'm not doing it angrily. I'm just saying, What happens now? This cash is of value. Why won't you take it?

If I'm the valet guy, this is the easiest money I've ever made in my life. I take your cash. I never ring you up. I park you real upfront. Then by the time that you're out, I just pay 20 bucks.

He wouldn't do that. No, but see, this is the thing, because I was like, Yeah, you could just have this. This is what it is anyways. It's $20. You're like, Why don't take my cash? He's like, No. I'm assuming it's because he might get fired if they take cash and they have record keeping of having put a.

Car away. So you've completely manufactured this fight that you are now in. But I'm not in a fight. No, you're in a spirited debate at this point.

Where does it go? He's just seeing how it plays out. How did it.

Play out? It's a standoff.

How did it play out?

I'm going to tell you a second, but how would you want it to play out?

How do you think it should play out? He had to take the cash.

He.

Punched the valet at Poppy Steak. That's how it happened.

I would have slapped you in the back of that and said, Get with the times, old man.

He didn't do any of these things, but I did, and I was late for something else. But at this point, I'm entrenched and I'm stubborn. I'm waiting- He's such a man. -i'm waiting for 15 minutes now. Oh, my God. Yes, to see where this goes because I legitimately want to see where this standoff goes and where it goes is you can go now.

Just pay for your coconut water with the card, man.

But he said I could go with my $20. Like leave? Yes, I didn't have to pay. Did you? Well, I gave it to the guy who brought my car around. I gave the $20 to the guy who... But I did leave without paying. He let me go because we were at a standoff. But my standoff won. I felt like an American hero on behalf of cash. You are.

A hero. I think it's ridiculous that places don't want to take cash anymore. Having a credit card is not like a thing that everyone has, especially if you're... I think I've told this story before, but I was in a coffee shop when we worked at the Clevelander once, and there was a guy that came in and wanted coffee, and he only had two dollars and they wouldn't take his cash. And he had no credit card. And I was like, I'll just buy your coffee, man. It's fine. But they were just turning business away because this guy didn't have access to credit cards. It was ridiculous.

But think about what happened to me. He turned away the $20 because he's afraid of getting fired. But also, that could have been his, and it would have been fine, and it would have been totally fair. If they'd asked him. It would have been what the charge was. So he could have just put it in a desk and told him he'd taken cash, but he was too afraid of getting fired to take the cash.

It's a little bit different situation for you, Dan, in your very fancy car. I'm sure he knew that you had an Amex Platinum somewhere buried in your wall.

He's got like a fiddle. He's got.

No cash yet, right? Wasn't the same guy, though. It wasn't one of the valets. He was just a guy with the worst valet job, the guy behind the desk.

It goes back to the people that need to take their job a little less seriously, meter Mades, like people that park cars and stuff like that. I got you. But also don't take it so serious. You could take the 20 bucks, you could put my car away. We'll be good, I promise.

Take it serious unless it has to do with me.

You're going to let Dan off the hook. It's a final segment of the show.

Give us your goddamn four teams.

Yep, three to go.

Okay, so-.

Wait, we have Washington in the one seat and then the two seat is the winner of Georgia and.

Florida State. Washington is your number one? I know that they were in, but did you clarify that they.

Were your number one? He did not. I shouted excitedly that they were my number one. I just had this conversation with Jessica off air because I'm saying to her, You want to help me with my Heisman vote? I've got my Heisman vote is due now, and she was actually making the argument. I'm not sure whether to go stats or story because the best story, but this isn't merit based.

No, Jordan Travis is a Heisman winner now. No, after the last 24 hours that we've all had, Jordan Travis is the Heisman winner.

The most important player in college football.

The guy that had to send out a tweet, I broke my leg earlier, considering that we've just changed potentially football history with this, give.

That kid the Heisman. Do you think that Jordan Travis, while I believe everything he tweeted yesterday, do you think that there's any small part of him? There's a little fist bump under the table. Look how important I am.

I crumbled all of this. Do you guys think that I should vote for that over Pennex, who I've enjoyed throwing 25 % of his passes are deep balls? That guy slings it. He made Indiana Matter, and I just love his story. He's been so injured.

I love his story, too. He's torn both ACLs. He did it at Indiana. He's an incredible story, an incredible player. But if I have to put any stock in what the College Football Playoff Committee just told me, there is no better nor more important player on the planet right now in college football than Jordan Travis.

I think you also look at the fact that Pennex made his former head coach at Indiana $40 million in his buyout. I can't think of something more Heisman worthy than that. I mean, that is substantial. But Dan, if you want help with this, just give me your vote. I'll take care of it. When you see at the Heisman show that someone made a vote for Sam Hartman, maybe you'll wonder who it was. But maybe everyone listening to this show, they'll know.

Dan's going to.

Lose another vote. No, but as a joke, should we then just make it, Travis? Make it number one, and that'll be the one vote. Then Pennex loses by one vote, and the great story is my fault because I made a joke of the Heisman vote. That's got to be sacred.

They're not allowed to get mad at it. I've heard a lot of impassioned debates about how you have to keep them out because the quarterback's hurt. If that quarterback wins the Heisman, you shut your mouth.

I'm willing to do that, Jess. I'm willing to make a joke of the Heisman by voting that number one over Pennex, whose story I legitimately love. And Daniels, by the way, deserves it.

He does deserve it. But you only get one vote. Do you have to do it in order here? Okay, top three. So we're just going to put Travis. That's it.

Hartman, Travis.

I'll put Travis number one. Van Dyk. Tyler Van Dyk number two. And who's number three? Let's just make the whole thing a joke. Who's Poppy voting for? Well, they talked... No, my father gave his vote back.

He's damn Levitards. I was.

Doing that. If you look at the odds, Jaden Daniels, last I looked at him 24 hours ago before Jordan Travis became the most important player in the nation. Jaden Daniels was a leader by a lot. He put up a thousand of his yards against Army, Georgia State, and Grambling State. Every time you tuned in to watch Jaden Daniels play a big game, LSE would inevitably lose that game, and he wasn't the best player on that field. There have been three Los Heisman's before. Lamar Jackson, Tim Tebo. When you watched their games, you knew that they would lose those games, but it wasn't because of quarterback because the quarterback was balling out. You can't have your Heisman moment at 2:45 in the afternoon on ESPN 2. I'm sorry, not having it. Great player.

Get out of here with that. He is a great player. Lsu did have a very Brian Kelly-esque season and lost all of the games that really would have mattered and the games that to have a successful season and to even be considered for the Heisman, because I'm not saying that the Heisman should be this way, but there are certain positions that you do not qualify for a Heisman if you play. And there are certain qualifications that your team has to meet for you to be in contention. And for whatever reason, I mean, it's because they lost three games, LSU, this has now become the debate, right? Jaden Daniel is probably one of the best quarterbacks in college football, but you lost three games. And in the games that you won, you had to play all four quarters because your defense was letting everyone score on you.

He was bad against Alabama and Florida State, he was bad against them. He was.

Good against Alabama, but he got.

Knocked out of the game. He wasn't the best player on the field. And they do often say when you see someone on the path to a Heisman victory, Oh, that's a Heisman moment right there. He hasn't had these Heisman moments, and that's not the distinction to win a Heisman. It hasn't always been that way, but he hasn't had a Heisman moment.

It seems like a de facto pick. I'd go the other way on this. I would say he has had his Heisman moment, and the Heisman moment is this because it's the Cosmos laughing at us. The guy who's going to win the Heisman, FSU is not getting any credit for beating that football team because it's shit. Fsu is not in this running because their SCC victory doesn't matter against the best player in college football. That's the Cosmos laughing at you. You guys want my four picks, and I just want to laugh at all that shit. You guys want.

Who my- It's an excellent point that I hadn't considered they're going to just hand this Heisman over to J. J. And Daniel.

He's the best player. Florida State beat him. It doesn't mean anything. No, they were five at the time. That doesn't matter. It was early in the season. It's when we all learned, Oh, Bryan Kelly fraud, L. S. U. Fraud. Best player in the sport, when he's not playing F. S. U. Give us.

Your four teams.

What's Strangle? Louisville. They find a way to make a teams fraudy after F. S. U. Beats them. It's funny how that happens.

I want your four.

It's a week of content for me to leak it out over four and then make the Heisman a joke.

I love Pennex. I do. I think he.

Needs to lose by a vote.

It's a great story. I think honestly, people wanted Oregon to win the Pac-12 Championship just to make it easy to vote for Bonx because Bonx had a crazy completion percentage, scored a ton of touchdowns, had a ton of yards. Coordinator in a.

Couple of years. Yeah, no doubt. And it would have been an easier story. How about Millro? I mean, what are we.

Doing here? I love Millro.

He's so good. I love.

This guy. Also another great story. Sometimes he will throw a crazy pass and you will say, Wow, that was so off target. You can say Millro. And then sometimes he'll throw a dime and will win the SEC Championship and will run.

And will just keep running. Has a husband winner ever been benched?

It's great. The whole thing is great. And benched because he was bad against the FSU, who dragged the best player in the sport. This is.

God laughing. Yeah, benched because he was bad against Texas. If Bamma played FSU, it would have made everybody's lives easier.

The idea that the best player in college, football, averaging a first down every time he touches the football- Tell us the team. No, I'm going to drag it out all week.

I gave you one today. I gave you one today.

Michigan would be out. Michigan would not be out. Get out of here.

Get out of here. Out, cheaters. Out.