You've won a best of.

The Dan Leviton Show with the Stuck At's Podcast. You want.

A.

Best of the with Stude.

Welcome to Dark Theories.

And Conspiracies.

When.

Will.

This old.

Couple die?

Let's play another clip from Billy Gill and Chris Cody doing Marlin Spring training baseball on the radio.

We should get through the Trevor Rogers stuff earlier, though, because he's probably only going to be four, right? Well, last time he went four. It would be really good if he went maybe five. That damn Jordan Walker wasn't falling off so many pitches. Did you swear on the air? Oh, can I not say that? No. Let's refrain. I might have to hit the dump button back in the station, folks. There's a swig of a line drive up the middle of the base here. Noel and Dormen leading off the top of the second innit. I thought I was coming in hot last day. Billy really is taking the mantle. The issue here is Kyle is very rarely around cursing. I think he thought, I think damn is safe. Billy called some player, This damn guy can… You should have seen Kyle. It was just trying to do the call. I think we need to dump this back in the studio. Kyle was freaking out. I don't think it's a curse, where I think they were safe. But it was just funny to see the fear on Kyle and Billy because you know, Billy, he's a rebel-rouser, but he doesn't actually want to offend any.

When he thought, Oh, my God, I just cursed and they had to dump something. The look on Billy's face was the best part of that. Imagine if he said, Stover, Stovetop pudding. Did you just swear on the air? Oh, can I not say that? No. Let's refrain. I might have to hit the dump button back in the station, folks. There's a swig of a line drive up the middle of the base. That wasn't all Billy did to bring it to a dark place. You got to play this clip. It's a little bit longer, but it's Chef's kiss here from Billy. I have a morbid question for you, Kyle. Fire away, now we're talking. You see this man that's walking here. He's walking in with a Cardinale jersey that says Together, older gentleman. He's got the cream-colored jersey on. Yeah, he has a jersey that says, Together, and then presumably, oh yeah, there you go. The person is his wife. They've been together since 19. And we don't see the second number, right? Oh, that's adorable. Well, yes. Heaven forbid, though, one of them passes. Do you retire the jersey? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I think the question is, do you put it in a case?

Do you frame it? First pitch of Joey Wendell is a cult strike. Maybe you buried it with the person, right? Boy, we have taken a dark turn. You're right.

Yikes.

Maybe the old one, swing and a miss. You can go ask them. That'd be wild. I mean, he's close. We could just shout down. No, let's not. No, let's not.

You.

Aired on the side of caution there. That's good. 1968. Together since 1968. Oh, they have a long way to go. Dudec. O-2 swing and a miss. They've been together 55 years, those two love birds. That's beautiful. You don't care. What do you mean I don't care? I love love. Kyle, did we pull the calculator out on the computer? Not on my phone. It was on my phone.

He must hate you guys so much. It's unbelievable that that's- The two-two. -that's always funny. The 0-1.

Regis.

Philby.

Gets free McDonald's for life.

Featuring.

Hollywood.

Showrunner and Leviton intern, Mike Schur.

This theoretical magic card that gives you free KFC for life. So my late stepfather, sorry, my late father-in-law, Regis Philby, had this for McDonald's. So he did an ad, Itried to get a card to go to a restaurant for McDonald's sometime in the early 90s. And as part of the thanks for this, he was given a gold, not real gold, but a gold-colored credit card thing that said this card and titles Regis Philby to free McDonald's for life. And he loved this. And so when my wife was a child, they would be on a car trip somewhere, and he would see a McDonald's, and he would get really excited. And he would pull in to the McDonald's, and he would go inside and kept this thing with him and his wallet. And he would rush up to the counter and they would order a bunch of Big Max and stuff. And then he would go, Look, I get free McDonald's for life. And then the cashier would just stare at it confused because he was like, What is this? Why is Regis Philby in this band of McDonald's demanding free $3 hamburgers. And they would go, I've never seen this before.

I have to call someone. And then it would be this confusing thing. And eventually he would go, It's fine. Just here. And he would just pay for the food. And so it never worked because it was just a very confusing object because it's not a thing that anyone has. I love the.

Idea of.

That.

Employee showing up to work that day.

That.

Didn't come up in the onboarding.

-onboarding, yeah. In the training, yeah.

It's as if, though, honestly, if you think about it, it's as if a celebrity walked in and said just with their hands, Hey, I have this glowing orb. It entitles me to all your stuff for free.

Yeah, what are you supposed to do with that? And then who do you even call to see if this is real? And also, I like to believe that the card itself was more of a symbolic gesture. And then he was just like, no, this is great. I get free McDonalds. But then no one ever informed the thousands of employees around the globe that if you ever see this, you give the Skype free food. Classic Rege.

I want to congratulate you, Mike. Sure. Andgoing to tell the audience now that you at Metallark Media have done such a good job as an intern on Stat of the Day that we are now promoting you to one St out of the Day a day and also one Regis Philby story a day now. So we are going to do that going forward. Regis of the Day? Yes, Regis of the day. -rage of the day and stat of the day. We get to go through.

Your house and sell your possession of the parents. Yes, and we will auction.

You can sell the mirror to Samson. Wait a minute. Do you know how much stuff this guy has of Reges that we could sell for charity? Do you? I don't, but I feel like we could rummage through all these things and give it all the.

Way to charity. We're turning this into a Regis Philby estate sale now all of a sudden.

Do you have anything from Reges, Mike?

I have some things. I would call them family heirlooms that aren't for sale. Let's sell them. His daughter, too. The McDonald's card is still around. Now I've looked for the McDonald's card because I wanted to try it. I wanted to see if I could find it, but I think it's long gone. I mean, it was like 30 years ago. But sure, yeah, sell whatever I've got in my house. It doesn't matter to me.

I don't know-.

Billy, you lit.

Up at the idea of a McDonald's all-access card that Regis Philby had one.

Well, I'm glad that he told that story because that was going to be my exact question was what happens when he actually tries to use it at a restaurant? Because there's no way that someone that's working behind the register was onboarded at McDonald's, somewhere on a road trip in Middle America. In the event that Regis Philby shows up, this is what you do when he presents the card to you. They should present their employees with everyone who has the card, though, right? No, that's the problem. It's like, okay, it's Regis Philby and Mikael Gorbachev. It's probably like a dozen people who are never, eleven of whom are never going to go into the McDonald's. All right, Mike. Mr. Gorbachev, order me a half brown.

All right, Mike.

Read you the- Wait, sorry. Was that a Mr. Gorbachev tear down that wall, parity? That was limited, fake Ronald Reagan. Yes. They went to McDonalds together in this situation? Yes, they did.

Thank you for dissecting that. Can I say rest in power in this situation?

I think so. I don't know. Yeah. He ended the Soviet Union. I know, rest in power. Well, now the hockey game did that. Yeah, that's true. Matt Romney has.

The McDonald's Golden Card, Mike.

So does Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett, I could actually see using it. People unlikely to be going into a roadside McDonald's in rural Pennsylvania. Haven't you seen though that Warren Buffett is crazy and that he sets aside the exact change that he needs for his McDonald's breakfast every single morning? He has it figured out like it's a $1.37 because he orders the exact same thing every day and pays to the penny so that he doesn't get changed. Yeah, there's a lot of stories about him like that. Or maybe it's all the Walmart, I can't remember. It's all the Walmart guys used to fly Coach everywhere. And it's like a drive-all, he picks... Dan Walsh needs to drive an old beat-up pickup truck. I don't know.

Hold on a second, though. Juju is saying that JJ Watt has a Golden Chipotle card.

A lot of athletes have those, Dan. It's a thing now, or it was a thing in 2010. Then the whole Neurovirus thing happened.

Chipotle dropped off a little bit. I still ate there, though, that entire time.

I thought all the subway athletes got those for subway. Every time you see a subway commercial, they get the subway card. He should have Golic.

Didn't he do a whole subway thing?

Mike?

I.

Left you hanging there.

I'm so sorry.

All right, Mike, we will.

Sub you. Thanks, too.

By the way. I look like I'm a Golic.

Guy for you.

Host a show with them. I don't know.

Go to you. This sound is five minutes overdue.

Everything about this segment has been dialing.

Up a.

Regis-philbon anecdote to knowing the exact change for Warren Buffett, Walmart guys, flying coach, everyone here.

Look at me, Louis. Are aliens real? With Jeremy.

Corbleau, host of Weapons Eyes. Now this guy is making sense so far, but I just want to know. I'm a little skeptical when it comes to this stuff, so I'm going to let you guys know at the end of this where this guy falls on my cook meter. I just want to throw that out there. I don't want to be disrespectful. Hold on, what's your name? My name is Chris.

Chris, hold on. Let me ask you something. Extraordinary evidence requires what? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, right? You're one of those guys.

That's right.

Okay, cool. I believe that extraordinary claims, that they require evidence. I think it's extraordinary that people don't know the evidence. It's not your fault. Skepticism is good. I am more skeptical than you know. We've never met, Chris, but here's the deal, brother. If you are not caught up, that's not my fault. That's yours. Let's get you caught up.

Right now. He's calling you ignorant.

And I like- No, not at all. What I'm saying is that the stigma is so vast. It's in our military. The stigma is what causes lack of information. We are in a data-rich environment. When it comes to but the public, the general person taking their kids to school, paying their bills, it's a data-poor environment, and it doesn't need to be that way. Let's get there, Chris.

You're in a pink room with a safe and a typewriter.

I am. Pink is my favorite color. You busted me. I don't know what you're talking about, about the safe.

Is there an alien in that safe? An alien?

I can't confirm nor deny what's in the safe. Sorry.

What is the evidence? What evidence do we have?

Okay, so it depends what you're talking about. On what level do you want evidence? I've released military-filmed, Pentagon-confirmed, IPO-designated footage. I mean, you're talking about crafts that do things that we can't do. I'll give you one example, because if you want evidence, how long a show we got. Very simple. Commander David Fraver, off the West Coast of California in 2004, he engaged an object, a craft of unknown origin. He was tasked and set out there on a training mission. When he went out there, he observed, but not only that, commander Chad Underwood filmed what we now know as the TikTok UFO. This object had abilities far beyond thousands of years of what we're supposed to have right now in the US. We know it was not US. We know it was not China. We know it was not Russia. Whose was it? This craft was able to drop from 80,000 feet, actually above that, because that's the scam volume of the radar system they were using. It could drop above 80,000 feet, so from outer space, all the way down to sea level like that in less than a second. Now, you tell me what we have that does that, that's tracked on radar, that's tracked on satellite, that's tracked on the ASA system on the pilots, and we have visual confirmation from five pilots.

You tell me, whose machine is that? That's the extraordinary evidence for the extraordinary claim that there are objects out there we don't understand.

Mike.

Mclong is proof, right?

Mac. Who's that?

Mac McLoon?

Matt McLong. The guy who won the dunk contest- Nailed it.

-the tiny white guy.

It's a Double Fine. It's a Double Fine. All I watch is jiu-jitsy and movies. I don't know anything about sports. I'm sorry. I don't know.

The fuck his name is. Okay, it's all right. It's not you. Jeremy, what do they want?

The aliens. Who's that?

The aliens. Okay, but you're making an assumption now. What do you call an alien? Something that is unknown to you, you say is alien to you. If you're talking about beings from another planet, you're making a leap in logic, which I don't know yet if that's true. Although I do suspect by the types of propulsion systems that are documented from our military that they do come from somewhere else, so they will be alien to you, they will be alien to me. But I don't know exactly what that means. What do they want? That was your question. How could I know that? I don't even know what I want to do.

There. The podcast series- What are you on for? -is called Weaponsized. His show explores strange phenomena, UVOs.

He just blinked for the first time in his entire interview. He did, yeah.

He's one of them. I'm not an alien.

Conspiracies, hard- It's exactly what an alien would say.

Hard evidence related to the abnormal, cutting edge science, big time crimes.

Do you think that there is a... We obviously know more than what we've released, and as ayou, as of a few years ago, we've declassified all this, and we've totally acknowledged there are things out there that we don't understand that can do things we can't explain. But do you think a part of this is being withheld from the public now just because so many deities would be confused by this and would not know where to go? Us as a species right now, we couldn't handle the truth?

Well, first of all, we can handle the truth. We have a right to know and need to know, and I feel a duty to find out. But is there a cover-up? Okay, so that's what I'm talking about. This is not theoretical. We have documents from the CIA, from the FBI. This is a historic cover-up. Nobody wants to admit that there is a technology out there that is far more superior than the greatest super nation that we know on planet Earth. You're asking me, is there a cover-up? Man, they cover up how much they spend on a toilet seat at the Pentagon. You're asking me if there's a cover-up about NGOs? Yeah, the answer is yes.

You know what? My boy's cooking right now.

Let my boy cook. I'm with him.

He is cooking.

I don't understand that reference. Can you.

Explain that? That you're spitting.

That's me. It's Tony. That was it me. That was Tony.

It's a fine.

Yeah, sorry. It's okay.

I don't have a preference on what it means.

I'm saying I'm with you, brother. That you're cooking right now with gas.

You're cooking with gas right now. He says that he's with you that you're preaching.

You're not a cook. Yes. He lost his voice, pardon him. He has a Cuban voice box and it was really dry in Salt Lake City.

Is that Dan?

No, I'm Dan, and we've got an assortment of clowns parading around us.

Look, guys, I really appreciate you want to cover this topic. We have fun with it. Everybody's like, Oh, man, this is crazy. The thing is that it might be the biggest story of our time. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is. It's either that there are beings that are non-human, so non-human intelligence, engaging humanity, or we have some deception program where we're being who led to believe that. Now, that is much less likely, much less, because it would be coordinated over generations. It's good to have fun with this. But let's be honest, isn't this curious?

Super. If this technology is out there and can do things and this is just one ship, then one would make logical assumptions that if they have this type of technology, they have technology to do worse. Why haven't they? Why are they just observing? Playing with their food. Why is everything... A lot of people get skeptical of NGOs because it's a lot like Bigfoot and that, okay, but nobody can get me a crystal clear image of this.

It's nothing like Bigfoot. We have so many photos and images in the Pentagon confirmed, and we have military pilots that come forward with footage, radar, sonar, thermal, everything.

There's nothing like that. I've seen the videos that you're mentioning, but still you referred to it as a TikTok because it appears as a TikTok. What we have out there, people can still dismiss as that's got to be something else. There isn't the one great Holy Grail piece of footage where you can see definition in these things. And you know-.

Oh, that you've seen. Yeah, that you've seen.

But hold on. Is that what's.

In the safe? That's what's in the safe.

Okay, check it out. Let me give you something. So why is it called the TikTok UFO? This is freaking hilarious. So the guy that filmed it is named Commander Chad Underwood. He was under Commander David Fraver, who was head of the Black Aces. And when they engaged this UFO for the military, the guy comes back from filming this and the stigma is so bad. So the guy is asking him in the CIC, they call it, which is the Combat Information Center, they're saying, So what did it look like? And all this guy is thinking is like, if I tell him, it's going to sound crazy. So he started thinking about '80s movies and he's like, airplane. I remember that movie. And there's this great scene in airplane where they're describing a plane. And he's like, it's cylindrical. It looks like, I don't know, a Tylenol with wheels. And he was like, I can't say Tylenol. That's too crazy. So he's like, Looks like a TikTok. Sure. So that's how it got the famous name, the TikTok because it was all-blown. It was this chalkboard white or drawing board white. And it was just an unbelievable machine that could do manoeuvers that seemed immune to inertia effect.

And what that means for people about my level of smartness, which is I had to learn what inertia means, I looked it up on Google, but it's like the idea that it can move instantaneously without deceleration or acceleration. This thing is going ping-pong-ing. Imagine you take a glass of water or you take a glass that's empty and you put a ping-pong ball inside and shake it around. That's how fast it worked. Normally, human beings that were occupying that craft would be turned into jelly because of the amount of force when they move at that rate and speed. It's pretty amazing, actually. That's why they call it the TikTok UFO.

I'm pretty fascinated by all of this. Right now, it seems as though we're looking at the news and there's green lasers being shot down on top of Hawaii and chunks of the sun are flying off. There's all these UFO sightings. Could it be China? Could it be all these weather balloons? I'm going to be real with you. Kind of feels like we're on the precipice of something bigger here, an invasion, perhaps. Do you think that there is something out there that if it has this technology, it could destroy us if it wanted to?

Well, for sure, the technology that we are witnessing can be weaponized. I'm going to shoot you straight here, and you don't need to believe me because we'll see if I'm right. But the technology itself can be weaponized. The propulsion systems themselves are a matter of national security, is my understanding from direct communications that I have with people. We're actually talking weapons of mass destruction. Imagine if you had a technology that was so powerful, it could bend space timing, it can bend gravity, that could be weaponized. Now, is this war of the worlds? No. We got Biden shooting down balloons over the US. It's so ridiculous. This has been with us for a long time. So if whoever operates these technologies, let it be terrestrial, some nation we don't know about that's just been here thousands of years, or if it is from somewhere else and you choose your poison on that, non-terrestrial, non-human intelligence, other planets, other dimensions. I don't even know what that means, there's nothing to fear because it's been with us for a long time. And also, if this type of civilization or this type of entities that make these crap, if they wanted to hurt us, you figured they would.

However, if you want to get dark and weird, I just released on our last episode something about cattle mutilations, which I had an allergy to. I was like, Oh, what is this about? This has nothing to do with UFOs. God damn, was I wrong? Turns out the FBI studied this back in the day, and this is all documented. And you can look at the FBI files on cattle mutilations. So my question to you is, if you are raising a herd for food of cattle, do you feed them? Do you give them water? Do you give them antibiotics if they're sick? Do you actually genetically alter them in some way to make them better food for you? I sure hope that's not what's going on here. I don't think it is. And I'm making a joke, but the point is we haven't been harmed. Maybe we've been assisted. So whoever this is, whatever their intent, scientifically, we should look at this, we should explore it, and we should look at it sober minded and reduce the stigma. If we can reduce the stigma, then we're going to see what's right in front of our eyes.

What can I, as a normal person, do about any of this?

I'm not sure you're a normal person. You could be a reptilian from Zorg on. But here's the deal. Good question. Normal person. What can you do? Be loud. Loud. Ask questions. Have normal conversations. Look at the evidence. Start listening. Watch the 60 Minutes episode with Commander Fraver and Dietrich, what's her name, another fighter pilot that saw the TikTok. Look at the releases that I put out. Watch the interviews I did on CNN. Watch and listen and try to understand the evidence. Now, I have just started dropping U. F. O. Bombs. I have been known or become known as somebody thatobtains and releases, as a journalist, what was once classified, but the moment I make it public, it's unclassified because there's no designation, images of U. F. O. 'S filmed by a military. I'm telling you, I've just started. Pay attention, have conversations, do podcasts like you're doing, and maybe write some people, some representatives and say, Hey, I actually want to know what's up. What's up with UFOs?

Do you have a best theory on what's happening right now in the news where the government is shooting stuff down and doesn't know what it is that it's shooting down, or claims that it doesn't know and won't reveal what it's shooting down?

Well, I don't know. A best theory, there's probably smarter people that got better theories than me, but here's the deal. My theory is just my observation. My observation is that I've looked at this for many years and I talk with people on the Hill, in the Pentagon, in every agency you can imagine. I have people that inform me, as a journalist, what I know is that this is a charade, that we know that these objects are always there, that we just change the settings on our radar because we don't want to see these objects because they don't have anything to do with flight safety. But then when you adjust that radar system and you get Norad looking at this, they're everywhere. All the time, ubiquitous across the globe. Not a US issue. It's everywhere. What we're seeing now is comical. We're shooting at balloons with missiles that we know are Chinese reconnaissance balloons. Guess what? Chinese reconnaissance balloons, just like this one, have been floating over our skies for more than 50 years. Why the Theatrics? Why do we shoot a missile at it and barely hit it, by the way, lower right, crazy. Here's the deal.

I don't know. I don't know why they're doing this. All I know is that it's a story that got picked up. And if you know anything about media, it's pretty easy to get a story picked up if you're the Pentagon. So what's the point? Is it acclimation? No, they're going to say it's balloons because it is balloons. I said that the day this started, what the real issue is, nobody wants you to know. And the real issue is that there's a technological nation or a technological entity that are making craft that are far beyond our knowledge, and we've been trying to reverse engineer them, and we can't. And we can't because of the material science. Until we learn how to replicate the physical materials, which would require atomic layering in zero gravity, as strange as that sounds, we're never going to get anywhere. But everybody's afraid that some other nation is going to figure what they call a derivative technology from the technologies that we have been reverse engineering.

Thank you, Jeremy. Again, the name of the podcast is weaponized. I feel like we should all say it together in a way that brings attention to the podcast. Weaponsize.

Weaponsize. Weaponsize your curiosity.

Thank you, Jeremy. Weaponsize.

Weaponsize. Chris, open your eyes, man. Stop touching me. It's good. It's good. Stay that way. We should go to.

The Cooke meter. You have to. You're a very moderate Cooke. Your Cooke level is not that high. You came on.

You're very - I'm way sainer than you, you crazy-looking guy. But here's the deal. The beard. We can use those words and we can point fingers and we can say that people aren't until you look at the facts. So there you go. Jack.

Thank you, Jeremy. And also thank you, you crazy-looking guy. He was complimenting you.

Yeah, you look really handsome. I don't know if this is just audio or it's visual, but you're all really handsome. You got that going for you. And that's nice, as they say in Caddy shock, but you really got to up your game on UFOs.

Yes, agreed. Thank you, sir. I can tell on them.

Dan Lebertard. I heard the hotel industry is moving away from providing shampoo and soap.

Don't get me started on them. Do not get me started on hotels and the stuff that they do.

What they take from me, I feel like I'm.

Entitled to take something from them. Thank you, Billy. They're going to throw away the shampoo. They're going to throw away the soap. I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about the sheets, and I'm talking about the towels. Stot. Oh, we really care about the environment. So please hang up your towels. Get out of here. You just don't want to wash these towels because it's going to cost you money to wash these towels. This whole thing about you're saving the whales or you're saving the turtles or whatever because I put my towel on a hanger, it is so full of it. You just don't want to give me fresh towels every day. Just call it what it is. Tell me you don't want to give me fresh towels. I'm still going to throw it on the floor. I feel like water is a renewable resource, and you're not really saving the ocean by using water to clean my towel. Are you? Am I missing something? What am I missing? Nail right on the head. Am I missing something? The end of the story. This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugards.

Dan and.

David Samson play.

Would you attend the funeral?

Hey, Chris, before we start, I got one for you that you're not going to believe. Give me it. Someone slid into my DMs, not the type of sly that you want. And he is a mortuary guy from Wisconsin. And for a living, he makes dead bodies look the way they look for open casket, non-Jewish funerals. And he sent a video about you and your dad and me and the funeral game we play. Oh, God. He said, Listen, I know you don't know me. I'm a big fan of Nothing Personal and the Levitard show, and I would like it if the Cody family would hire me to make Greg look good when he's in the casket. Oh, my God. This is an actual video. Because when everyone goes to the funeral, because everyone will go to his funeral, no matter where it is, when it is, where it's located, I'm the guy who will make him look the best he can look. Would you mind telling Chris that? How much? It's so funny you asked that.

There's an act now special.

I said, Listen.

Lock it in.

Right now. What is it? I said I would pass along the information. So it's some guy in Wisconsin who dresses up dead bodies. I don't know why Greg would be buried in Wisconsin. Do you have family there? No.

Okay. It is everyone's new favorite game. The premiere was unreal. The feedback, incredible. It is time to play Would You Attend Their Funeral? As always, I am your host, Mike Ryan Ruiz. I am joined by Dan Levitard and David Samson, our contestant. The game is pretty easy. I throw out a name and I find out whether the contestant would attend their funeral. That's pretty it. It is dark, but isn't this music happy?

First.

Up on today's edition of Would You Attend Their Funeral, Dan, Levitard. Dan, first off, how are you doing today? Hey, Dan. Nice to meet you. It says here you're a sports writer from Miami. That's a fun job, isn't it?

Avid River Rafter.

Dan. He actually did write something recently. That was pretty good, Dan.

Thank you, David. We'll get to David in a second. Dan, would you attend Mitch Album's funeral?

Oh, wow.

Detroit, too, probably.

Yeah. This is why.

This game is- You're allowed one follow-up. Only if that question is, is a funeral in Detroit? To which I say yes.

This is one of the many reasons why this is the greatest game show ever invented. And it's unfair that Mike knows me this way. Sounds like a no. No, he's just picking people who are right on the line of where it is. That's the point of the game. That's the beauty of the game. But you've got to pick these people well is my point.

Mitch Albo. Ricky Williams wouldn't want to be fun.

I know he's not making it easy to say yes or no, but the answer to your question is yes, I would. I very much admire Mitch Albo.

I'm sorry, that's an incorrect answer. We had it as you would have. All right, so moving over to David Samson. David, it says here you're a former team president of a Major League baseball team that actually won a World Series. That must have been fun.

It didn't suck.

All right, your question, Ricky Nalasco. Oh, wow. Would you attend Ricky Nalesco's funeral?

That is a.

Tough one, man.

So Ricky to Lasco, he will-.

He's listening to this too, by.

The way. He will give you a four or four and a half, five ERA for 15 years of throwing slotballs.

Up there.

No, he was much better than that.

To give you a- That's totally incorrect. Not at the end, he wasn't.

Well, he was one of the all-time leaders in.

Marlin's history. No, but the last seven years. No, not true. I got to go look it up.

You're right. I have him having seven bad years.

As a Marlin? No, I have him having seven years at the end of his career, whereas ERA is between four and a half and five. I mean, that's.

The starting pitchers that are visually baseball.

Well, no, Dan.

Is.

Right. Yeah, it's mid-fives, mid-sixes the last.

Six or seven years.

No. David, I'm looking.

At it. He was mid-sixes the last seven years of his career.

I.

Said.

Mid-fives.

Mid-sixes, last six or seven years.

I'm not sure how we say that for that long.

But what did you throw at his funeral?

Peek behind the curtain. This question was almost for Dan, given that they were neighbors at one point. But David, would you attend Ricky Nelastco's funeral?

Yes.

Is that one of the ones where you have to text around? You're texting Larry, Bynefest, and Mike Hill to see if they're going. And if they're not, you're like, I.

Think I'm good. I love where your head's at. Now, if it's like a mass accident where there's multiple players like that who have died at once, we.

Would define and conquer. Oh, come on. Come on.

What are we doing here?

I'm telling you what we… That's when we'd text. Come on. Because we wouldn't be able to all go to all of that.

If there was a mass killing of former Marlin, you.

Guys would text. What are you doing? Not a mass killing, just an accident or something.

We've talked about this. You have all the former Marlin's.

Pictures in a van together?

Yeah, you never know. We actually have a book in place. It's about what to do in case of a major accident. There's a system. Every team in Major League Baseball has to have that about what you do.

This took a dark turn.

I mean, the game in itself is a.

Dark turn. No, my point is that we were already in a dark room, and now we've walked into another corner of the dark room. Now you've got how do you handle if several of your friends die in a terrible accident at the same time? Totally different game show.

Dan, second question for you. Would you attend Joy Taylor's funeral? Oh, wow.

He's going to lie again.

What do you mean lie again?

You're not going to Mitch Album's funeral, Dan.

Wait a minute. I drove my mother three hours to go see Mitch Album one time publicly speaking. Why would you say.

That I would not go? Why would you fly three hours to see his casket?

Your mom wanted to see it. What does.

That have to do with anything?

Mitch Album is a mentor of mine. He was doing all of this before we were doing it.

Guys, he's establishing his bonus fides.

Keep your eye on the ball. If Joy Taylor croaks, are you attending the funeral?

Yes, I'm going to that funeral.

Right, good.

That's another to everyone. Aspirational at best, Dan. Aspirational at best.

So far, we're attending everybody's funeral.

Right, that shows no unrealistic. The game is less fun when you.

Do that. David Samson, would you attend Rich Walsh's funeral?

No.

Wow.

Very quick, no. Jeez.

A remarkable.

Quick, no. We're trying to get rolling into the next round.

I appreciate it. You're winning this game just based off of a moment of possession. Not even a moment's consideration. Not a second.

Care is not for Rich winning. This is the most arbitrary rating system since Tony Reilly.

He's telling the truth. I'm not afraid to be honest.

Dan, would you attend Rick Tellinger's funeral?

Oh, wow.

Tellinger. What a big part of the show. Dan's like, Damn, I got to work in a no sometime. You do.

Have to establish a.

Line here, Dan.

Otherwise, you're attending everyone's funeral. He's in the.

Tellinger line. I know that you're an expert at everything you arrive at, but I played this game last week. I'm sorry. I gave the nose and it made the cake. But right now you're losing, Jimmy. I understand how the game is funny, and I also understand how to win. But Mike is putting this on a line that is making my answers have to be considered.

Unlike- Jeez, David, are you seeing how long this guy's taking? It's ridiculous.

By the way, we're all going to be dead by the time he answers this. You don't go to that many funerals, Dan. It just doesn't work that way in.

The real world. Listen to me, Samson. My list, you handle your part of the game show, I'll handle mine.

You're taking too.

Damn long.

Rick Tellinger. All right, just give me a second. Rick Tellinger, just because there's a reason for this.

Rick Tallender, okay? We get it. I'm a very good host. I'd ask very difficult questions. Would you attend Rick Tallender's funeral?

Let me preface this by saying Rick Tallender is an inspiration. I would not attend his funeral.

All right. There we go.

All right.

It's tied now.

I'm a legitimate friend with.

Rick Tellinger. You have to apologize to Rick Tellinger. I'm going to.

Have to call them afterward and explain this to him.

Dave Hyde texted me after last week's show, by the way.

Wow, pick that name up.

David Samson. I was slightly concerned at the fact that people would or would not be attending his funeral, and he wanted to point out for clarity purposes that he would not be.

Attending mine. Mike, at the risk of making the game too long, do you want to explain to the national audience who some of these.

People are?

Joy Taylor is Colin Coward's co-host. There's a relationship there because she hosted locally. Also happens to be Jason Taylor's sibling. Rick Tallender is a Chicago sports writer that would join our show often. Mitch Albem, I'm not really sure what he does.

He's an author.

Is that so? Really? I'll check them out maybe. Ricky and the Lasko would hang curveballs like the devil. David, would you attend Javier Vasquaz's funeral? No. That was quick. I have a quick no. You're winning.

This game today. Because that's a Schlep to Puerto Rico right there. I have a Puerto Rico. I've got to go to Tony Perez's in Puerto Rico. So there's only so many times I'm going to go to funerals there.

David, do you.

Think Ricky in Alaska would attend your funeral?

No.

David.

How long.

Is your list? Like you said last week, the origins of it are you were talking to your friends and you have a list. So how long is your list? Basically, Mike is just either the names Mike is offering are on your list or they're not already. You've made these decisions.

Correct. How long is your list? Now, keep in mind, as we talked about last week, and it's worth repeating, all the answers we give on this show, the caveat is always the circumstance, right? It's the timing and the circumstance and around the death. That has an impact on whether or not like if Ricky in Alaska were in Miami and I was there and I was with him and he passed away and he wasn't married at the time, I would stay in Miami and go to the funeral. I wouldn't fly to California, that's all. So yes, my list is already done as I think everybody's is, but maybe just people don't admit it.

Dan, would you attend Michael K's funeral?

Oh, man, that's a tough one. God, I talked.

To him quite a bit. No, I would not. You got.

Some calls to make today, my friend. Apology tour. David, would you attend former Marlin's public relations may have been Matt Robuck's funeral?

I like him a lot, but I would not. I would send a note, though.

That's nice. I would send a note. No, that doesn't mean it.

He can't read it. I would.

Send it to his camera. I would.

Send a note. That is a great joke to you guys. Thank you.

I would.

Send a note.

I would send a note. I mean.

It's the bare minimum.

Maybe some bagels to the Chiva.

Okay.

That is good stuff. I'd assume, guys. Dan, would you attend Randy Scott's funeral?

Oh.

Man. Oh, come on, man.

I'll represent for you, Dan. I'll go.

I'd go. Everybody would go, but this question is for Dan.

You'd go without me.

Oh.

No.

Wow.

Oh, Randall.

What.

About Dan? When you do this, you could have people who work for you as your representatives, and that counts as going. Because they wouldn't show up. They're going on your behalf.

I understand, but if I sent Stugatz on my behalf, what do you think that would end up with his plane ticket on eBay? No. I'd sell tickets to Randy's conference room. No, your plane ticket, you would sell it and then expense it and not go. That's correct.

I like Randy. David, would you attend Donald Fears' funeral? No. Quick knows, we care to elaborate.

Head of the Players' Union.

Former head. There'd be no reason to go to his funeral.

Jeez, damn. That's cold. Dan, Jimmy, Petaro.

Holy bleep.

I would say, be careful.

Yeah, very careful. You got to give an honest answer here.

Be.

Careful. You got to keep your options open.

I would not. What? Oh, no.

For sure. That was an easy no, Mike.

That's going to do it for this week's edition of Would You Attend their funeral?