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Trademark's owned by Beckle, SAB, The CV. Copyright 2024, próximo. Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly.

For Bridget Christ, the road to love was not. It's so straightforward. Bridgie, I forbid you for marrying that spendthrift youth, Miles car. What the devil is that?

I'm setting up an M50 video account on my mobile cellular telephone, thus procuring a discount on the M50 highway tow path.

Very prudent, Mr. Carr. It seems I've misjudged you. Eflow presents accounts and accountability. Pay your tolls automatically and get a discount with a free M50 video tolling account at eFlow. Ie.

Welcome to the Big Sway. Presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, Fatface and the habitual liar. His name is David Samson. You can catch him on tour, the Npds Tour. Nothing personal with David Samson tour. At a city near you, get your tickets, davidsamsonpodcast. Com, or I guess just follow Juju, which is what David told us earlier, that Juju is also selling tickets because he's going to be at the Atlanta show, right, Juju?

Absolutely. We're going to be in there having a lot of fun, man. Salute to my big brother, David.

There you go. Cities and Dates are on your screen right now at a city winery near you. Is there a deal going on with City Winery behind the scenes?

It's in front of the scenes. It's not behind the scenes at all.

That's not just a coincidence.

Do you think it was a coincidence?

Yeah. City Winery is available again. All right. Let's keep it going. Love those guys.

City Winery is a fun place, actually. They have a ton shows, and they fit me into their packed calendar, and people just come into shows. They come day of. They're just fans of City Winery, and they come. I'm going to a City Winery show in New York on Friday to see Joshua Radin, and I've never seen him before, but I want to check out the venue because I'm doing New York, April 29th. Special guests there as well, including maybe someone from the Lebitard universe. But it's going to be a fun time. I'm excited. What's the worst that can happen, Juju? I get the flop sweats. I stand up on stage and go totally silent. The lights go on, and I look around, and I say nothing. I like my chances.

The worst that could happen is that nobody shows up. You and Juju, and it's just a cavernous scene.

No, that's not the worst thing that could happen. That's not the worst at all. The worst thing that could happen is violence or something crazy.

Hey, I'm going to do the Chris Cody thing. Violence at the show might actually help.

Let's not promote that. I'm not promoting it.

No, thank you.

I'm not promoting it. I'm just saying.

Can we cut that out? By the way, Joshua- No. I actually disagree with you, Amine. I think it's so important to have that feeling of discomfort in your stomach that I have about the tour. I think it's good to go outside of your comfort zone. It's good to expand and try to do things that you don't normally do, to try to do a show for an hour and a half in front of an audience, and to treat the audience, whether there's 10 people or 100 people or 20,000 people, you You treat the audience with great respect, appreciation for them giving of their time and money to be entertained by you. Just like with my podcast, the first show I ever did, I think, had five downloads, and I took it as seriously then as I do now. It doesn't matter. So I actually don't agree. That is not close to the worst thing. The fact when I can spend time with Juju anywhere, it's already close to the best thing.

Have you ever done-I appreciate that, brother. Have you ever done any live work other than cussing a bunch of people and telling them $1 billion?

$2 billion. Yes. I started a play in Miami called Not Ready for Primetime, which it had an 18-show run back in 2000, and it may have been '14, I played Lorne Michiels, the founder of Saturday Night Live, and I enjoyed that very much.

When was this?

I think 2014. I tried out as President Marlins, I tried out for a play in Miami, and I was cast, and I was so nervous. We had rehearsals. I would go to games and then go to rehearsals. And it went no games. I'd rehearse till midnight. And I was one of the stars, and I had to learn all my lines and get off book. And every time, a little funny thing about those shows, which helped inform nothing personal today. Every time the stage manager would give the five-minute warning, meaning the show is about to start, and I started the show, I forgot every one of my lines. So I kept a script right in my dressing room, and I would relook at it. And then the minute I would say the first word, it would all just come back to me. But that feeling of nervousness, of absolute fear that you will go on stage and have no idea what to say, that informed me to nothing personal and led me to nothing personal where I have no script, and I talk for 50 minutes just off the top of my head.

How did Jeffrey Lauria feel about his president dashing after a game to go hit up rehearsals?

He was not happy, just like he wasn't happy when I went on survivor. But he had to give permission, as did the commissioner at the time, had to give permission for me to go on survivor and to be gone for that long during the course of a season. Cbs would not cast me without permission from the commissioner and from Jeffrey.

There's an absolutely brutal line in here, David, from the Miami New Times about when you were doing this that said, Eager stage door, Johnny's take note. Not ready for prime time will run only slightly longer than the Marlins' postseason hopes, coming to an end April 13th. Outs. Big yikes.

Outsch. Listen, Jeremy, I got to tell you, I am perfectly okay with failure, and I don't view that as a failure. Just It's like the two or no matter what, it won't be a failure because I will learn something. Every time I failed in my life, it has led to a future success, and I failed plenty and had plenty of success. So I love failing. I actually look for it, I embrace it, and I'm not scared of it.

I want to make it clear, I didn't say it was a failure. Just the writer from the Miami New Times did.

I also like to point out that if you are experiencing failure and don't have the attitude that David does about it, then just hit up the law offices of Amin O'Hassan. We'll get your reputation clean by coming to Amin.

By doing what?

What do you mean? Coming two, I mean.

Oh, okay. Two.

That two is doing a lot of work.

Kick saving a beat.

That two is doing the Spider-Man holding everything back right there. David, opening day is tomorrow. I'll be honest, I I did not know, even though I feel like I'm imbroiled with baseball news every day through my algorithm timelines, through my group chats, through my interactions with people day to day. And the reason is because all we talk about all the time is Shoheya Ohtani.

It's a nightmare. Opening day is supposed to be, and it is the greatest day of the calendar for any baseball fan. I remember as a kid watching opening day, and then when I was old enough, going to bars, I would class always on opening day. I just love the fact that there were games all day, and they finally counted after spring training when no one cares what the result of the game is. And you're always in first place on opening day. So I used to love that, that you had a shot. I always wanted to win opening days. I don't remember my record in my 18 opening days. I want to assume maybe something like 8 and 10, just under 500. But I always felt when I won, that we could go 162 and 0, and when we lost, that I was going to lose 162. And it's so irrational. You must have felt that in basketball.

Never. Not that. Yes, the feeling of you win the first game. This is going to be a great season. 82-0 never occurred to me, though, sadly.

I always thought about that. And so opening day, you wear a tie. I would always go to every employee on opening day and say, Happy opening day, and thank them for the work. So much work happens during the offseason, not just on the baseball side, but on the marketing side, on the sales side, just thanking people for what they're doing and watching fans, no matter how many people were there, they were just so happy. Opening day is happiness, and I associate it as such. And tomorrow, there's a game at one o'clock Eastern and all the way until late. So it's a fun day for me.

David waxing romantic about opening day is a lovely conversation. Maybe we can do that next year. This year, we're talking about show Shohe. We're talking about Shohe.

I won't do it. What? Can you believe what Dave Roberts did? Dave Roberts saying, Hey, it's better without the interpreter. There's no buffer now between us and Ohtani. I think this is really great.

That's lemonade right there. You got lemons? Give me them lemons. I'll squeeze it, add some sugar. Lemonade.

Let me tell you, it's absolute horsehockey because there's another interpreter, and Ohtani, being approachable or not, has nothing to do with the existence of Ipé Mizuhara. What's happening is that the Dodgers have distanced themselves so much from him, as has Shohe. Everybody has just thrown him under the bus, and yet we don't know anything. His statement yesterday or two days ago was an absolute joke. It was misguided. It was silly to have done in the first place. And he put himself in a position where he better have told the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or he's going to get in serious trouble. And he didn't even answer the most It's an important question like, Hey, I gave him permission to wire money out of my account because he paid my cable bill. Little did I know he was buying out a bookie. He didn't even say that. Do you believe him? So what's the use?

Do you believe him?

I always-I'm just saying, based on the subtext of everything that's happened and the idea that the interpreter just embezzled four and a half million dollars from them, do you believe that explanation? Do I believe there are players who don't know how much money they have in their account? Yes, I know that for a fact. Do I believe there are players who depend on business managers to help them with their finances? Yes, I know that. Here's what I also know. There is not a bank in the world that will wire $500,000 to a bookie and speak to someone who's not on the account. It doesn't exist.

Boom.

The quote here I've never bet on baseball or any other sports. That, to me, says that he's bet on the Oscars, he's bet on the Grammys, he's bet on everything other than sports.

That's the Anthem.

Yep, all that stuff. The Gatorade color, everything. David, before we let you go, you I'm going to review Ricky Gervais' Armageddon? Is that right?

Yeah, I wanted to talk about comedy routines. I watched two of them recently, Ricky Gervais's Armageddon, and I watched the new Pete Davidson called something Fonzarelli. I can't remember what it called. And I'm thinking about political correctness, and I'm thinking about comedy, and I'm thinking about Dan worrying about it's the end of the world and all the issues that he has. And Ricky did this whole routine about what it means to be at the end of the world and whether or not, in fact, we are. And this is the same comedian who hosted the Golden Globes and really was quite talkative towards stars in the room in a way that Jimmy Kimmel never would be at the Oscars. I was thinking, very. I was thinking about comedians who go on stage, whether they've got four people at a set, 10 people, or 100 people, or 2000 people. And the line that they have to walk now is so different than it used to be. I was thinking back to Don Riddles or Richard Pryer or Eddie Murphy, other comedians who just had free or reign thinking about it's harder now to make people laugh than it's ever been.

I give credit to those who try.

I don't know. I watched it. I loved it. But I also think a lot of these comedians now, their audiences are self-selecting. So he knows who his audience is. He can do these jokes for this audience that he maybe couldn't do at a Golden Globes or at something where he wasn't the main ticket.

It's a Netflix special, though. How do you control the audience that way?

The people who don't want to watch it, don't watch it. I don't care what Ricky Dervais has to say anymore.

I don't know. Really? No.

I used to. He's hilarious. There's enough that's been said I'm out.

Is the reason you don't care is you don't find him funny or you find him offensive?

Both. His comedy has become, Oh, poor me. I can't say the same shit I used to, and I am so sick of hearing comedians say that. Just be funny.

He says it in a funny way, though.

You just have to go the other way and go Dave Chappelle.

Well, I don't. That's a whole other conversation. We have eight seconds.

Nothing personal with David Samson. The tour, you get tickets. David amsonpodcast. Com. David, thank you.

Have a great day.

For Bridget Christ, the road to love was not so straightforward. Bridget, I forbid you for marrying that spendthrift, you Miles car. What the devil is that?

I'm setting up an M50 video account on my mobile cellular telephone, thus procuring a discount on the M50 highway tow path.

Very prudent, Mr. Carr. It seems I've misjudged you. Eflow presents accounts and accountability. Pay your tolls automatically and get a discount a free M50 video tolling account at eFlow. Ie. Don Levatard. That's how it's going to end.

The mailing and in end of the retirement, Chris, go get me this, is just going to be him coming out and hitting the one or two notes of that thing, and you know it, and then just giving us finger guns and leaving.

Baby.

You should listen to the Great Cody Show podcast because that's all we do for 55 minutes a week is just say catch phrases. We even make songs about them. You know what? Is a song for Crying Out loud. That's great. Hopefully, that's a Sui nominee for best song. And You Know It, Baby, and You Know It.

Stugatz.

And You Know It, Baby, and You Know It. And You Know It, Baby, This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

March Sadness. We got a lot catching up to do. But I'm excited because this category, year in and year out, whether it's for Suey's, whether it's for this, always gives us gold, right? The songs-Songs are the strongest. This is the strong region, right?

I don't know. Greg Cody's region yesterday has banger after banger after banger after banger.

Chris, man, first of all-Nice hat asshole is a crime that it was a 10 seat or whatever it was. The seedings were insane. Forget about nice hat asshole when he didn't want to do the back my day because he thought it was all a set up. That one was like an underdog.

Luckily, it's all voting-based. So go to our social medias. But it's not the point about the voting base. I need to know who the committee was that put this together. Billy. Terrible, terrible, terrible ass Commissioner as usual. Billy to the head of the committee. There you go. Garbage.

Now it all makes sense.

Nice hat, asshole.

But we have the Song Division.

I don't know why I called it a division. The Song Conference. Region. Region. Opening round still. You can go vote on our social media. The first round be ending this week. Number 4, The Wrong Song.

You are so wrong. You got her up to let it go. You got her up to let it go. Baby. You're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I heard you take it down. You got her up to let it go. You're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

That's a four.How is that a four?How is that a four? That's a four? There were three other songs seated higher. Had better seasons.

That's Caitlin Clark in Iowa, bro. They got tripped. Whoever ranking this is needs to go to jail for an hour. For an hour. One hour.

With Greeny or without Greeny?

With Greeny.

That four seed-Inshallah, brother. That four seed is going against 13 seed unwritten book by Stugatz.

My book's unwritten, but still it's for sale because I close the deal. I am getting to it, but so are my friends. We all know how this ends. Staring at the laptop before you open up a browser window. Let your fingers hunt and pack for stugotsbook. Com. Only 29 bucks for the hardback. So close you can almost taste it. Presale for incomplete work. Watch the money roll in. No one else is going to profit, only I will break it in. No one else, no one else could get away with this shit. Click the link now to obtain it. Best of luck as you're explaining to your friends why you're purchasing. You're all in on the crypt. Yes, it's my name on the cover. That means I get No one knows, no one knows if this thing even comes out. Click the link now to obtain it. Best of luck as you're explaining to your friends why you're purchasing a book that's still unwritten.

All right. Blow out. That one was a slow burn. Juju, I'm with you. It's still a blowout, but they had some heart. God, that's so good. You know what it was, Juju? They went down 40 earlier, and then in the last five minutes, started hitting threes. Final score, down 20, maybe 18. Yeah, you're right. But because that end, it builds that beginning.

Bro, it just made me feel like he wants me to go to DeVry University. It's such a Let me remind the people that March Sadness is presented by Get Your Guide.

Discover over 100,000 unforgettable travel experiences in the US and around the world at getyourguide. Com. Keeping it moving here in the tournament, Five Seed, the Sports Whisperer song. Bill. Bill. It's Tom. Listen up. Listen, Belichick. Let me whisper in your ear. Tell you something that you might like to hear. You had a nice career, but at the end looking sad. Mind if I tell you about this plan I had? My home's been gaining on me way too fast. Surely as a coach, they should get past. I can play at least another year or two. So here's what we're going to do.

I'm calling up Woody and we're going to the Jets. Twice a year, we could be the Patriets.

We're kicking both Salva and Aaron to the curb. I'm calling up Crock and we're flipping up the bird. Never really wanted Greg Olson's spot.

Wanted him to know how much cash I got.

You need a me, Bill. I'll always be the boss.

After we're done, you could coach LaCrosse. You better listen up. You better listen up to recap. We're going to partner up. We're going to partner up. Hey, Bill, you better listen up. You better listen up to recap. We're going to partner up. We're going to partner up like...

That's a banger.

That is going against Tony and the crew on The Tony Show. Tony, do you remember this? Singing Closing Time. Of course I do. During that song, Tony was complaining that he doesn't like his match up here. No, anything that has me attached to it, Billy has put me against one of the best things in the entire region. I'm like, Dude, anything I have is not working. Let's listen. Closing time.

Closing time.

This room won't be open till your brothers or sisters come.

So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits.

I hope you have found a friend.

Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning then. Where I know who I want to take me home. I know who I want to take me home. I know who I want to take me home, take me home.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's take our musical guest, Louis. That was a fun night.

The guitar was the champion of that. It was hear him ripping in the background, it was That's beautiful.

I love all those brothers in that shot. Everybody that was in that singing, Oh, my God, I love all of you all, but this is a bigger blowout than the last round.

It is. It's true. But again, it's because Billy's putting all the seating together because that could have fought against something less like maybe Karius Jalen Brunson. The DeVry. The DeVry Institute. All right, now it's time for the one seed. One verse, 16. The one seed, Pukenau Kua.

His name is Cooper, good at running girls.

But when his hammie got a tear, he saw Pukinakuwa standing there. His blade diminished. Hustle take over. Nekuah hopped into the car. Mcfay has maybe found a star. And then Matt Stafford threw him 25 and two. Oh, there's a brand new kid in town out of B-Y-U. They call him Puca. Puca Nakuwa.

Puca Nakuwa.

His quarterback is not named Tua. Yeah. He is Puca. Puca Nakuwa.

Fantasy assassin.

It's the time to cash in.

Yeah, it's Puka.

Don't need the glow.

Banger.

Not a one seed.What?What?

Get out of here.

Last of them isNot a one seed.

Who are they playing?

Now, I like this. This is a tough 16 seed, K'Chuck You.

You're mad to trade in a bird dog for a brand new love, and I'm like, K'Chuck You. Your name is Chris winning, and you said it wasn't enough. I'm like, K'Chuck You. It's crazy, you disperhege. Lomberg's kicking it in high gear. You picked Trochek, well, I'm rolling with Barke. The Panwagon don't need you here. You missed on Matthew, and all they do for you. Well, he's a goalkeeper. Winning him is so bitter. I got some news for you. Coward. Go tell your little New York friends. You're mad to trade an overdose for a brand new love, and I'm like a Chuck you. Your name is Chris winning, and you said it wasn't enough. I'm like, K'Chuck, you. K'chuck, you times two. You slept with a stranger, the New York ranger.

That is a tough one.

That's a 16-sie. I'm going to say it right now. I was trying to have it up on my screen, but a lack and alas. This is St. Peter's right here.

Making a run?

This is St. Peter's right here. Brother. Upset City.

Against Puka N'Akua, are you losing? Upset Upset City. Are you losing your mind?

Are you crazy? Upset City. That's what I'm picking. That's my bracket. You got your bracket, I got mine.

All right, moving on here. The seventh seed, Mr. Stugats Lies.

They call him Jonathan Wings. He's skirting out of a fine. Going to be out of town. He's got to have it all. And he's lying to Chris, how did it end up like this? It was a scheduling miss. When was he scheduling this? But I'm in it too deep and I'm waving a flag. While he's drinking the smoke, and he's taking the Now he's off for the dead and Bill his stomach is sick. Tell me, what have we read? Well, he's spending the chance now. He turns on his breath now. I don't know. For that trip he took, he's billing me. I've lost all control. Penalty filled with fraud and felonies, dead head shows are where he flies. The crossmids follow alibis.

I like that one. That song is going to be... Now, this song, that seven-seed is going against a 10-seed made by Taylor. And this is, if I remember correctly, one of the worst songs we've ever played.

It's a three, the crowd goes into an illusion. Winning in the play, it's not an illusion. It's a heat check, he's on fire. But let it fly. Saw the contract, They said he was overpaid, man. Said that he was overrated, and we had no plan. They were wrong, and I am beaming. Hear the mecca say, Carry us, Jalen Bronson. Palms up, clutch, that's why we won. New York knows you are the best. Not the joke no more.

I'm being told Taylor Taylor is predicting a run in the tournament. He thinks he's going to make a run.

On March 16, 2016, Yukon beat UMBC, 104 to 45.

Terriers.

That's why I think Taylor going to beat whoever that was who sang the first song because look, bruh, I That's what I liked that song. It was from the heart. He loved the nick, so that was raw emotion we heard there.

All right, last match up here. Gabagool, New York, 8 seed.

Start spreading the news.

Nfc and A.

Offensive players of the week in New York, New York. Devito, he rules.

Wilson making plays.

The Norman and Italian In New York, New York. Zack Wilson, soaking with a mom, just the tip. Tommy Doug Veto's the man. Forget about it.

These offensive lines, protecting all day. They'll actually get some passes off in old New York.

If they can make it there, they'll make it anywhere. Gabagool, New York, New York.

We should have just played the Gabagool part. Yeah, that was long. Honestly, I feel the same. Why did he pick my worst song? It was a slow burn. Well, Jeremy, that eight seat is going against another one of your songs, Bill's Bill's Bill's.

There we At first, we started out real cool. Starting this season with a nine and three record. You're getting comfortable, ain't doing things like one in the ball, changing up Mike McDaniel. The offense started struggling, and Tirek is faster than a car. ♪ Car. ♪ But it don't matter if you can't get him the ball and have the running game to ever have consistency. Hold on to that titan's lead, now you're losing week to week. Struggland. ♪ Interception on my brother, quarterback, why haven't I found another, a baller? When times get hard, I need someone to scramble around. Instead of a pocket pass, I get to shove to the ground. Can you beat the bills? Can you beat the Buffalo bills? Can you beat the Buffalo bills? If we did, then maybe I would chill. But I don't think we do. So the Fins and me are through.

You guys feel like Puka Naku is going to win easily, right?

It's a bit of a buzz saw in this region.

That's what I'm rooting for.

But if it beats Chuck You, which I think, to Chuck You, I think Chuchu, I think that one is better, then it gets to play probably this song right here, which might be the matchup of the entire region.

I think you need to get your guy like the sponsors and realize that Pooh, Coon, the Coo is going all the way.

And let me remind you, That March Sadness is presented by Get Your Guide. Discover over 100,000 Unforgettable travel experiences in the US and around the world at getyourguide. Com.

Don Lebatard. All of us who were watching college football elevated everything the weekend was because we missed football in general so very much.

You didn't watch the ending of UTEP Jacksonville State. It was awesome.

It's easy. Boom.

Stugatz. It's such a lane for you.

Just everything Everything in college football is awesome. Any single thing that happens, she gets deliriously happy about.

Don't you miss viewing sports through that prism, though? I'm envious of Lucy. I wish that I could still be happy.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. I was aware that JLo has an album called not Jennifer Lowe.

I was aware there's an accompanying video piece with that album, what I was not aware is that that piece is not a documentary about the album or the making of the album. But Lucy informed me earlier that it is, in fact, a quote, unquote, fictional piece of work. I'm still not clear.

It is a movie. There's two separate parts of this. There's the movie of the album, and then there's the documentary about making the movie of the album. I watched the movie first, and wow. I'm not going to say spoiler alert because you watch at your own risk. There isn't necessarily a plot. Jlo said that she's not the main character, but she is the main character. Basically, I think what I believe to have happened is it's a movie about her finding Ben Affleck again, but it's not about her and Ben Affleck specifically, except for that there's a lot of people in space who are giving her advice, and she's building a metal and there's this hummingbird that keeps showing up.

Is she an astronaut?

She's not an astronaut. She is a woman addicted to love. Fat Joe is her therapist.

I think we need to be clear. We need to say addicted to love because- No, addicted to love.

No, addicted to love.

No, I'm just saying because there's someone with certain legal issues who goes by the name of love. Who also is in her past. We used to date her. We're not talking about that love. We're talking about love, the emotion. Yes.

She's addicted to love and finding partners to fix. And so the premise of the movie is that she starts off in a factory, and they're creating rose petals on the conveyor belt. I don't know what they were using to build that. Dude, what are you talking about?

You sound like you're hot.

You sound insane right now.

So they push the rose petals into the conveyor belt, and JLo does a dance, and then she gets all muddy, and you're like, Where did the mud come from? And then they build a mechanical big and then she goes-In space or on-This is on Earth. Is this a dream? No, I wish it was a dream. Means dreams. Then she goes to... Then there's this hummingbird that shows... Oh, wait, but she's also telling a story about the story of how a hummingbird fell in love? I don't know. And then she ends up in a glass house with her boyfriend, and then she gets married three times. And then her friends are like, Hey, JLo, you're addicted to love. And then she was like, Hey, you're all terrible people. But her name's not JLo. And then they keep flashing to space, where there's Sofia Vergara, and Jane Fonda and Trevor Noah.

A woman in space.

And Post Malone, and they're all in space, but they're all zodiac signs, and they're trying to guide her, but they're not allowed to help her. So they're just talking about what is happening to her. And then it goes back down to JLo, and she's now broken up with her three husbands. And then she's talking to Fat Joe about it, and he's like, Hey, you're addicted to love. And she's like, No, I'm not. Then she watches Barbra Streisand and cries. And then she starts to realize she's not addicted to love. She's addicted to finding Ben Affleck.

Then so then she gets- She's addicted to...

No.

And then she- That does get said in the movie.

It does. And then she, I believe from there, this little girl shows up, and the little girl is like, Why don't you love me? Or, I didn't get loved enough. Jlo is like, By your parents? And she's like, No, by you. I'm younger JLo. And so then they hug each other, and she feels happy. And then the hummingbird shows back up, and you're like, Where did the Hummingbird come from? And then they go to space and they're all cheering in space. They're like, Yes, J-Lo. We're so proud of you. And then she's back in, not on Earth, but not on space. And then Ben Affleck shows up and they ride off in a motorcycle together. But Ben Affleck's also in the movie the entire time as a weird news anchor that will randomly be in the background being like, Breaking news. Love is dead.

Dog, let me tell you right now.

That's what happened.

That's love. That's beautiful. You know what's love? Not anything that Lucy said other than the fact that Ben Affleck agreed to be in this thing.

In the documentary, he was like, Hey, I really wish you wouldn't do this. The documentary is her- This is Seppin?

Seppin. She made a documentary about the making of this movie.

About making a movie. I don't recommend the documentary. The documentary was terrible. I also know the documentary- The documentary was terrible. The documentary was really bad. I know the documentary was scripted because someone went up to Ben Affleck, and the documentary was like, You're my favorite Batman. I said, There's no way. That's true. That's scripted. That's a lie. But in the documentary, Ben Affleck is like, Yeah, JLo really wanted to make this whole album about finding me again, because her last album came out 20 years ago when she was with Ben Affleck, and it's all about finding love. She said, It's the greatest love story never told. Then Ben Affleck is like, Well, you're making a movie about it, so it feels like you're telling it. It feels like you're telling it. The whole time, he's just very apprehensive. He's oddly, like weird, like a narrator in some parts and not in some parts. It was really odd.

Is it called This is me now?

This is me. So that's her new album. I think that's the name of the movie.

Hold on. Hold on. The Rotten Tomato score on... Or is this the...

This is me now, I believe, is the documentary. The movie is the greatest love story never told, I believe. But she made the movie, so she told it.

Because... That's a good point. Because This is me now, a love story has 75% on Rotten Tomato, 78% audience score. Not Cinephobe eligible. I thought for sure the way you were describing it, I was like, on a very special edition of Cinephobe, Lucy Rodine makes it diggy.

You should watch it because it's one of those things where... Jay JLo financed it herself because everybody backed out. It's something that... The awesome scene is the documentary is her assistant is just going through names of being like, Jennifer Coolidge said no. Derekoff said no. He wasn't it anyways. Bill Winnington. All these people said, No, no, no, no. Jlo is like, I know why they're saying no. It's because they're afraid. They're afraid of me doing something that's never been done before.

Oh, my God.

I had a lot going on.

Okay. We're cool. The documentary is the one called The Greatest Love Story Never Told. Oh, never mind. It's the other way around. The documentary has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I think something happened to Rotten Tomatoes, guys.

88% on Audience Score. I'm calling bullshit. It Something happened. No.

Something happened. It was really bad. We got this very remarkable, very viral TikTok scene where JLo, she's in her gym working out. And then I'm going to take my headset off for a second and show you what she did. She went like this. And she was like, My hair, when it's wild and crazy like this, it reminds me back when I was a young girl in the Bronx just running up and down the block. So crazy. So free. That wild little girl. The whole movie, it's just her being like, You guys know I'm from the Bronx, right? You're aware that I'm from the Bronx. Do you remember me from the block? From the block. Jennie? Me from the block?

That was you.

This movie sounds beautiful. I want to see it now.

You should watch it because it's an insane thing to watch. And it reminded me of my favorite internet clip of JLo is when she's back in the Bronx on the block, and she goes up to her old house, and some guy is standing there, and she's like, I used to live here. And he's like, Okay, who are you? And she's like, Jennifer? And he's like, Jennifer who? And she was like, Jennifer Lopez. I used to live up there. And he's like, okay. You can tell she's so offended that he doesn't know who she is. The whole thing, it's this wild, very naval gazey product of Jennifer Lopez being like, I am creating things that have never been done. I am so smart and talented. And I do think she's very talented. She's a hell of a dancer. But she can't sing. She cannot sing. Objectively, she just can't. She's not a very good singer.

She can sing.

No, she can't.

She's good. Come on. She can't sing. I love you, brother. You don't need to do this.

We got our tired to our opinions. I love all her songs. She could dance. You love her songs. Yeah, but that doesn't mean she can sing. I want. Even if you were broke, my love don't cost a thing. Every note.

It's not even... That doesn't mean she could sing, Jeremy. Oh, wow. This is her. Oh, my God.

We need the audio.

Oh, my God. Do we have the rights to play the audio? This is coming off of someone's Amazon Prime account, right?

Well, I did a perfect reenactment. Crazy little girl.

No limits.

It was a great reenactment.

I like taking my hair out like this. It reminds me like when I was 16 in the Bronx, running up and down the block. Crazy little girl who used to bleep.

What voice is that?

She literally used the block. Who used to what? As if we didn't remember. She's Jenny for the block.

Juju, she didn't sing her songs. That was the more important part. It's not just that. Fake news.

Jlo's.

Okay.

What is this? I'm not saying I hate it.

Why are you all going after JLo? I've always been a JLo hater. I'm not a JLo fan. You're such a kind person. I don't like JLo. Just take JLo out. No, because she's mean.

I don't hate her. She's just mean. I don't hate Millie Vanille, but they didn't sing their songs. Juju is going to be like, Hold on now.

Girl, you know it's true. I love Millie Vanille.

Jlo has always been mean. She was mean as a judge on American Idol, and it made me dislike her forever.

You need a mean person to be the judge. No. You need one mean judge on these talents. You have to.

She wasn't like Simon.

She wasn't witty?

Yeah, she wasn't witty. She was just like... Jeremy explained it well.

She was mean to the people she was jealous of. She was mostly just mean to the women who could sing. Really?

Wow.

I'm just being honest, I watched it with my own eyes at 14 years old. That's crazy.

That was pretty.

I watched it. I don't know what to tell you. Okay.

Get to throw away all your journalistic credibility and get reckless.

Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

I don't know if you're good, but go ahead. Jennifer Lopez Hates Women.

Whoa.

Obviously kidding.

No.

The greatest love story never told. You said it. It's already clipped.

That's it. I'm going to put it in the March Sadness next year. Bold claims. Reckless speculation engine.

I watched her judge Haley Reinhardt on season whatever of American Idol. I love her. Every time, every single time that she crushed a song, JLo Bick, a little pitchy for me. Jlo, you can't sing.

I mean, look, that doesn't mean it wasn't a little pitchy.

She's got ears, dude. She can hear. This is on American Idol for, If she can't sing, why was she judging?

Also pitchy was a word.

That's a whole other conversation.

Pitchy is a word that was invented on American Idol, my man Randy.

Randy's the man. He's a little pitchy for me, dog. Bro, Scott Foster can't dump from the free throw line, but he know a damn charge when he see one. There you go.

Exactly right. Rebuttal? I know that I'm right.

Look, I'm team Jeremy here because I watched the whole movie. I watched the whole documentary. Jlo is not my favorite person on the planet.Luis says I'm right.

I will say that. Let me say this.

Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.

Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

Jeremy is envious of JLo. You're good. Oh, thank you. Jeremy is envious of JLo, and that's why all this hate comes up.

Damn.

Tv missed it, but Juju just felt it before.

As a theater kid, you look at all the opportunities she has to sing, dance, and act. Triple threat. You're like, Should have been me.

She's a double threat. She can act, she can dance, she can't sing.

I'm with you, Juju. Now, you're then recruiting me to the I'm on the side now. I don't know what to tell you guys.

I'm right.

I'm team JLo here.

Look, all this talk reminds me of back when I was a young girl living in the Bronx. My hair so wild and crazy and free, just crazy little girl running up and down the block. Just bring me back to that time.

Did you know she was from the block? Did you know? She and A-Rod deserve each other.

They were a good couple.

They deserved each other.

Brother, the Minnesota Timberwolves are looking better than ever, bro. Watch out for them. I definitely can see them or the Oklahoma City Thunder ending up in the Conference Finals.

Because they're the two in the three seat?

Because they're awesome. I watch basketball every waking second of it. Hell, yeah, dude. You dig me?

I want to talk more about the Middleson and the Timberwolves, but not about them in the playoffs, about stealing.

For Bridget Christ, the road to love was not so straightforward. Bridgie, I forbid you for marrying that spendthrift youth, Miles car. What the devil is that?

I'm setting up an M50 video account on my mobile cellular telephone, thus procuring a discount on the M50 highway toll path.

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