You're listening.

To.

Draftkings Network.

Welcome to The Big Suie, presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The.

Podcast.

That seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the.

Only difference.

Seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it. And now here's The.

Marching.

Man to nowhere, fatface, and the habitual liar.

Juju, would you be kind enough, please, to put on the poll? Did you know that there were once a Cincinnati Reds in football? Billy, I hate things are moving very fast here, so I hate to give you a production advice on God bless football that I believe will be an accent of improvement on it on air, but there has not been time this week to talk off air. Somebody has written in with what I think is good advice when they say, Does stew think he's some football wizard, waving his hands around like that, casting spells? I would like him to have a segment where he is dressed as a wizard or where he goes fully into Sausage-Finger- The football wizard. -sausage-fingered, Wizard of wonder with football analysis to just add some video elements to Godless Football that will dress it up a little bit and make him an actual wizard. Can you help me with that, please?

I.

Will pass that along.

You're in charge. I need you to.

Do it. Thank you. Who are you passing.

It along to? Pass it along to yourself. Try to avoid your sleep wedge strangling you.

That's the universe coming after me, and I told you I'm.

Trying to make amends.

I know, but I need you to make amends with you run that podcast and you're not passing stuff along. I want to see him.

As a wizard. We have a co-founder with a very strong costume kink. You're going to have to do this.

Yep, and I will take my chances with however it is that this lands and whatever-.

I do like a costume.

-whatever grievances you have. He doesn't. The only time he's ever been in a costume was the one when we made him Machine Gun Skipper. That's great. He doesn't like it. He really doesn't like it. I heard, by the way, can someone tell me if this is true? Someone tell me if this is true, that John Skipper was giving his State of the Union address? I was not here. And somebody accidentally hit the thumbs down emoji.

I'm sorry. On what.

He was saying? Who could that.

Have been? The jury is still out on whether it was.

An accident. It was terrible timing. He was talking about, Oh, we were like, Oh, we're like Metalark. We wanted to be a place where everyone enjoys coming to work. And a thumbs down emoji just showed up over the New York office.

Full of 30 people. I believe he was talking about diversity. Pending investigation. I'm very serious about this.

Not good. Is it the same person who stole the fine bucket? Who did this? Is this the universe conspiring against me, making my partner think that someone in our midst is an anarchist? Who's the thumbs down?

Who did this? It was Zoom, apparently. But I've never heard a meeting go more quiet than when he said, You can leave. And everybody was like, It's crazy.

I felt bad for John because it was the worst possible timing and no one knew how it got there. Wait a minute. He was- I had to make.

It go away. Absolutely no one knew. He was arguing with- Still.

A mystery to.

This day. He was just like, because he's a little under the weather and he's not with us. He was on Zoom and he's just like, Who else is doing that, Ed, please stop doing that right away. Not to happen again. If you're not happy with the meeting, you can.

Kindly leave. Then I did it twice.

Let's.

Go to the bucket of death. It's going to be the death of me. The whole thing.

Put it- Zoom?

-put it on my tombstone. Just a thumbs down. A thumbs down emoji. Jessica, are you picking for yourself or others here? Everyone's got to go.

To the bucket. Myself and others. That's a callback from three years ago. Okay, I'm picking for, depending on how good this helmet is.

That's not how.

That goes.

-jannie! -go sit.

In the.

Penalty box.

We can't lose anybody. -we can't do that.

-yeah, we can't do that.

Can I put this back? What's for the penalty box?

-she can pick from the penalty box. -what's the name? -bears. She can pick from the penalty box. Chris, you go. That's not how we're doing it. -she can't.

Pick from the.

Penalty box. Not at the.

Penalty Box again. Not at the.

Penalty Box. They're hosting the Bears. Jarebert has the Brown. They're a favorite. That's a good pick for Jerber.

There's no microphone on the.

Penalty box. That is a good pick.

And I have The Patriots. Do they have a buy? No.

No more buys. No more buys. God damn it. I had a buy last week.

I'm a little late for a buy.

I want her out of the room. Hurry up, please. Too bad.

The Golden Helmet. The Golden.

Helmet of Life.

What that is?

Dan is going to...

The Golden Helmet of Life.

I'm going with my dad first. No funny business.

Here, Dan. The Golden Helmet of Life.

-for my dad, he gets the Rams. Seven-point favorite, he's keeping it. -i guess, Washington. -i'm going for me now. No funny business here, Dan. I got you. Saints. This is a weird one. The Saints should never be a six-point favorite. I know it's against the giants. I will keep it.

Well, that's why. -i've got four and a.

Half point favorite. -i saw six. Four and a half point favorite.

Against the giants. I'm going to keep it even.

Though I yuck. You should keep it, yeah.

I'm picking for Lucy.

I've been told.

I have the jets. -oh, boy.

-i put it back.

They're a nine-point dog. The jets.

They're all scared.

Watch out for the...

This is great. Who's scared? I put it.

Back because I think I'm going.

To lose.

I have the Eagles now.

For Lucy.

Monani Football, three and a half point spread.

At Seattle. For myself, I.

Have the jets. I'm going to put that back. Now I.

Have for myself the Eagles. That's the Panthers. That was the Panthers. It's a joke.

Because before I had the.

Jets, and I had the-They are a three-point dog at home against.

The fall. It's tricky to pull that joke off, so he has the Panthers.

I'm picking for Roy and myself. Roy will go first. As the elder statesman, he gets the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Good.

Lighting on Tony. Thank you.

Who.

Do they play?

The Buccaneers. That's a Packers.

That's a good game. Yeah, at the Packers.

At Green Bay, though, too. Three and a.

Three-and-a-half point dog.

I'm going to put it back to Roy.

It's a big game.

Here we go. Let's see. No funny business. Even though when I picked the Golden Home of Life, something happens. He gets the dolphins. Let's see, this one will be for me.

Let's see, this.

One right here.

The Comies.

They are a.

Seven-point dog at the rams. No, absolutely not.

Point-test. If I could take the over, I'd be fine. All right, here we go. The Seahawks against the Eagles on Monday night. You know the Eagles have never beaten the Seahawks in the last 15 years or something. It's a.

Crazy start. All right, everyone's just picking for themselves here on out. I'm going to make this quick.

Is this-They're due, Tony.

Minnesota Vikings.

Their fourth quarterback is.

They are- Hat-Bangles, plus.

Three and a half point dogs. I'm not going against Jake Browning. I'll put that.

One back. What a sentence.

I can't believe. Nick Mullen versus Jake Browning should be real duzy.

They're both in the playoffs.

Pittsburgh Sealers, no choice but to keep that, but I like it anyways.

They are two and a half point dog at the Colts. Is that Trubiski? Is that going to be Trubiski at the quarterback?

Yeah, but good defense. Time to get off the Schneide. I trust Coach.

Versus Min-Shu. What a season. It's all.

Back on quarterbacks.

The starting QBs this year and right now this week are insane.

Rammaging. Oh, I got one then. I got one.

The Colts. Colts, two and a half point favorite against the.

Stealers at home. I'll keep it. Minchu Mania.

Okay, let's see here what I've got. I've got the giants. I'm putting that back.

Really? I've got the saints under my roof.

Don't believe in Tommy, huh?

Yes. What's going on with Tommy's agent? Do we know anything? Are we at the.

Pop culture portion? He's getting to the Hall of Fame this week.

That was quick.

Oh.

The Italian sports.

I have the bucket of death. I've got the instant death and it's unbelievable. And all my money goes to Jessica. Instant death.

But on the- Taxes, though.

-and on the plus side, my.

Costume thing. Stewart says he doesn't have to pay those.

It's unbelievable what just happened there.

You don't actually get mad at that. I don't know. You get to dress up as Gumby or something like that, and you're like, Oh, we're Gumby's friend this time. That weird horse.

When Billy talks about the universe conspiring against him, I now believe that there is no greater symbol of you guys and the universe disrespecting me than the entirety of what that segment is, which I've wanted gone for years, and none of you do the punishments, and so on behalf of our company, I acknowledge that it is funny that I'm the one who gets stuck again and again doing the costumes as none of you do the costumes for years until now. Falshoods, I was stressed up. Until now, which is why you see I want to do the costumes so that I have the com-.

You finally.

Admitted it. -the comic relief. No, I'd like everyone else to do the costumes.

And respect- I was Rocky.

Give him your kink. That makes me feel a little awkward.

And respect. I want the bucket of death respected.

Well, it's Death Cumber now, so yeah, payoff is coming. Big time.

Tony, you had mentioned that you went to the dry cleaner for the first time. What was the occasion? Why did you have to go to the dry cleaner for the.

First time? So, Daniel, I have a family wedding this weekend, and I realized all of my white shirts that I wear under suits are dirty. I'm like, You know what? I'm going to go to the dry cleaner. It is the first time in my adult life that I myself am going to the dry cleaner to drop things off. I've always been picking stuff up for my dad or for people. But this is the first time I walked in with a plan. My wife's like, Hey, how about you take some of my dresses? We can do a two-on-one. That way everything gets ready. I'm like, All right, cool. Wednesday night, very late, like 6:30, they're about to close. I drive up. It's dark inside the place. That was probably my first cue of I probably shouldn't go to this one. It's right next to my house, though. I pull in and I go to open the door and it's locked. I look inside and there's a guy on the other side of the glass looking at me. I wave him over to the door and I'm like, Hey, come on. We open the door, he's like, Hey, what's up?

I'm like, Hey, I want to drop off my stuff as a dry cleaner. He's like, Yeah, come on. We get in, I drop off all my stuff. I got three white shirts, a black one, and then a couple of my wife's dresses that she uses for weddings and stuff. One has a big stain, and she got a drinks build on her. The pricing, Dan, have you been to a dry cleaner recently? Yes. It's very expensive.

Well, dresses certainly are. If you're getting something that's well made, dry cleaned, they will charge you in order to not damage it.

$170 was my tab on this dry cleaner. Is that normal? Did I get ripped off? Is this a shady place.

That I went to? Seven items?

Six items? Seven items and a couple of nice dresses, 170 bucks. But he.

Needed it.

One day to the.

Next.

Also. The three shirts, yeah, one day to the next.

That's where they get you. If you're doing it on their time and it's like, drop it off Monday, it'll be ready Thursday, it's.

A little cheaper. It was like, Wednesday, I need it tomorrow.

Did he get ripped off?

170 bucks.

That feels like a lot. I've been charged a lot, but that seems more.

Jessica, would you help me, please, with the dresses? Because I know my wife's dresses, sometimes it can be expensive to get that stuff cleaned.

My dresses do not cost that much money. But I also have a dry cleaner who I go in and he's like, You're a regular and you're a local. Don't worry about this. He'll give me some beer in Miami. Because my last dress I wore at this stupid wedding where stupid Notre Dame lost to stupid Clemson, something got spilled on that. He's like, I ran it three times. Don't worry. I'm going to get the stain out for free. And I was like.

Thank you. The guy told me he was like, I don't know if I can get the stain out. I'm like, What do you mean?

The dry cleaners is the only place where loyalty still matters in America. You go back to the same dry cleaner, they will take.

Care of you. But, Tony, that's a heady play by your dry cleaner because he's telling you how hard this is going to be and how difficult it's going to be to get it to you by tomorrow.

They're in Quismos.

Put it on the pole, please. Is the dry cleaner the only place in America where loyalty still matters?

They're in Quismos.

Okay, put parentality. There and Quismos.

I think there's.

Seven of them left. I don't think that's right.

Don Lebertard.

We got a Freeney Hardaway.

Who is a Freeney Hardaway?

I was trying to read fast. Ud was on the team. Luke Jackson, Bobby Jones, The Matrix, Sean Marion, Stugats.

Zoh, Shaqs, Smush.

Parker.

Chris Quinn, D. Wade, D. Wade, and Jason Williams, they're all right? I mean, stacked roster. This is the Dan.

Levator Show with the Stugats. As I.

Mentioned, we are stuffed in a whole lot of things into the postgame today. We've got Tony. He's going to preview the USC stuff this weekend. We've got Roy. He's going to review some hockey stuff for you. And we've got Pablo Torre aggressively trying to promote his show wherever he can within our feeds, bombarding us with things we should air that we don't totally want to air, but he's aggressive. And we are airing it in the postgame show. There's not a lot of room in today's show. But I want to ask Stugatz, based on what Tony's doing in the postgame, to tell me what he knows as a very, very casual watcher of USC and a very, very casual listener to this show that he does while we're doing it. What did you say? To tell me what he knows about Colby Covington.

Nothing. I don't know a single thing about Colby Covington other than I see him on a headline fighting every 5-6 weeks.

It feels like. What do you know of his personality?

Nothing. I said I know nothing about Colby Covington.

We've talked about him a lot, so that's a little bit surprising, right? Because I.

Know-well, I.

Wasn't listening. Well, I'm aware of that. I know I'm familiar with your fake nods. I'm familiar with your fake laughs. I'm familiar with you being in the phone.

Second-base.

Rangers? Making bets during the game. Colby Covington is somebody who was a very pedestrian fighter for a long time and noticed when Connor McGregor cashed in with his mouth, Oh, if I become someone who's just totally outrageous, there's a lane for me here. And not unlike Shitstain and a whole lot of others in the business of journalism who have decided there's a lane to be a professional asshole. I absolutely know that I can be someone who appears brave and a truth speaker if I just talk to a group of people who are going to think me a renegade, and then U. F. C. Is going to be Magda Central, and Dana White is going to walk in with The Avengers of white supremacy, Demacy, Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump. There's absolutely a lane for... I didn't think this would- I could rock. I didn't think that this would happen, Stugart. The thing that we've made fun of Frank Martin for, the college basketball coach. I'm just saying pay the teachers. An easy stance to take. Save the Whales. An easy stance to take. Colby Covington is now someone who knows what the easy stances to take are in USC to sell tickets to fights because he's just playing to the audience.

You hate America so much and you don't like this country that gave you a billion dollars, leave it. Well, come deal with me. You go to China, go to these sweat shops that you employ all these laborers and use these women and pay them pennies on the dollar to make your millions. Fuck you, LeBron James. You're a cow or you're a spy in this cow and you're a bitch. Is he.

Talking about LeBron?

Yeah, he was. Okay.

I misspoke there. He's no longer a pedestrian fighter.

No, he was. No, he's a champion and he is.

Not a champion.

Well, he was a champion. He lost, and he is a markede fighter. He is one of the stars of the sport. But let's play it again. I just want everyone to hear how he's going at LeBron James because Shitstain did this the other day when LeBron sat during the anthem. There are places where you can get your clicks and your traffic, and look at how he is dressed, Stugart. This is a man who is in character. He has realized he can say anything, do anything because he's in a space where it will get rewarded with dollars. And this is the dirtiest business. I'm not talking about U. F. C, though that too. The fight business and sports, it's the dirtiest of all the businesses. And here he is making his money the way you can make it in a dirty business.

You hate America so much and you don't like this country that gave you a billion dollars, leave it or come deal with me. You go to China, go to these sweatshop that you employ all these laborers and use these women and pay them pennies on the dollar to your millions. Fuck you, LeJron James. You're a coward, you're a spineless coward, and you're a bitch. Was he.

Trolling him there with the way he said his name or he just misspoke?

He didn't land it. You know how it is. You're talking to the mic all of a sudden and you're like, What's his name?

Ledromne. We all have.

Did he call him Le Jaron, James? I don't know what he called him. What's written on his jacket? Let me explain to the audio audience if you don't see his jacket. It's a hooters in the form of a jacket, and it says America on it, on one of the sleeves.

It does resemble Hooters in that light, but it's like a red, white, and blue, make America great again thing. It's autographed actually on the bottom left. It was a Sharpie autograft of former President Trump.

During the press conference, he actually wore, this is two days ago or three days ago, during yesterday's press conference for U. F. C. 296 this weekend, he wore a revolutionary outfit where he was in the blue America Revolutionary War outfit, if he was a person recreating the fights and stuff with a maga hat on top of that. This is who Kolby is. Kolby is a guy who, like you said, Dan, realized that Connor went over to Brazil when he was fighting Jose Aldo, said things about Brazilians. I was like, Oh, wait a second. I can just be out with you.

Said racist things. Clearly racist things about Brazilians.

Correct. Colby saw that. Like you said, pedestrian fighter, wrestler, nobody really wants to see that in the archetype of fighters. -you want to see a guy.

Standing up. His style will not sell fights. Correct.

Will not. What he realized is, Let me just mouth off and be somebody who I'm not. All people that talk to Colby outside of who his persona is say, Dude's a super nice guy, very amicable. But then the moment the lights turn on, he puts on this character, and a bad one at that where he's misspeaking, clearly rehearsing lines. He's basically Chale Sawnan if Chale.

Was bad. -has it helped?

-i mean, has it helped? He hasn't fought in two years. The last time.

We fought outside of.

That's the last fight that he's been in, was when George gave him a two piece and a soda two years ago. And now he's getting a title fight, which is a whole other story. But he's just this guy. That's who he is now.

But it's not who he is now. Exactly.

It's the persona. It's who he needs to be.

It's a total costume that he is wearing.

It has helped, though. For sure. I think he's much more.

Known than he would be. I think he believes in stuff now. Maybe it started as an amplified bit, but I mean, the guy's I don't think he's Method hanging out at Mar-A-Lago.

No, but he's a fool who has been rewarded for foolishness. Why wouldn't he keep following it if you don't have to have any standards to make the money and your only point is I want money? Yes, he's been rewarded for it. In that world, in that sport, he's been rewarded for being a total phony. You can tell me he believes it now, but he only wore that costume because he saw it can make him money. That's the starting point on it. And maybe he has now become that character because why wouldn't he? Hell, it must be fun to be famous as a guy who's getting applause everywhere for his opinions instead of a fighter who's just okay in wrestling, who's getting booed because.

His style is boring. Where in life would Colby Covington, just a couple of years ago, if you told him you're going to get as close to the highest office in the land, like you're going to be invited to the White House, you're going to be that close to power. It's a huge draw. I'm sure it just reaffirmed some of his beliefs.

If it weren't for this bit, Kobe probably wouldn't be in the USC by now. That's where he was trending.

Because of the style of his.

Fights, too. Style of his fights, again, he has excellent cardio. He's a good grappler and wrestler. But the fact is that the USC is littered with those guys that nobody knows.

Boring fighter, boring personality, had to change the personality, can't change the fight game. So we changed his persona.

Stugat, the bodies in football, we talk a lot about them being disposable. They're more disposable here. Dana White has a very profitable business where he doesn't pay these guys that much, and there are only a few stars. And Colby Covington's name happens to be one of them. And it ain't because he's that good. Though he has been. He won An't a really legitimate fight. He won a fight that surprised me that he won it to become a champion.

To get this opportunity.

Well, he's Colby Covington as a fighter, I think we can agree that until recently, getting chances because he's got a big mouth, getting chances he wouldn't get otherwise.

He's a good fighter. There was a lot of bad blood in those Masfadol fights. The way that Anne Ousmane and the way that he won those fights was very convincing. He bullied guy. Not boring because all the.

Hoods were- Because he's winning, but you have to win with flair in that sport. It's what.

You're saying. It's just stylistically more difficult to watch. But once you have the personality blown out to that, and once you have the bad blood that you had with he and Osman and he and Mosfedal, certainly, then there's really no such thing as a fight. Because even if some guy's mounting you for five... Some guy's mounting you for all the rounds there, you're like, Wow, he's showing Mosfedal. It played out in pay-per-view. It also played out in front of Bobby Saykau's where Mosfedal may have lost the formal fight on pay-per-view in what would have been seen as an embarrassment, but might have won the war, especially thanks to a good lawyer that he's constantly thanking.

All of a sudden, that lawsuit disappeared, too. Guess what? Kobe's got a title shot, which is a conspiracy.

Theory for another day. Okay, and you will hear from Tony on the previewing of that stuff with Roy in the postgame.

We're getting really close to me being more than just what I am right now, which is super uneasy about just platforming this nonsense when it comes to characters like that, because I think we minimize them by saying he's wearing a costume and it's a cartoon character. I know he looks like he's going to be the candidate for the Republican Party, but what he's saying right now is objectively dangerous. It's hugely dangerous, and it's not getting the attention in the mainstream media when he says he's going to jail journalist and jail people that have wronged him and put troops in the streets as straight-up dictator stuff. We've seen him, and he is presently in dozens of legal battles, in part because he tried to reverse engineer a win and rig an election while blaming the other side was doing it while he was in power. We saw what happened in the Capitol building. I think most people are like me, we'll tile it up in November to get to a point, but it's starting to bubble up. The rhetoric is now only getting more and more dangerous because now he is filled with this vitriol because he feels that he's truly been wronged.

The disenfranchised white guy bit is now his way of being. It's his platform.

It's the.

Same question. You're talking about Covington?

It's the same thing that Covington is doing. He's gotten so much applause for it that it's become who he is because it's the convenient way to get to selling NFTs so you can pay lawyers because lawyers want their money upfront from you because he's not getting any lawyers that he won't pay.

So did the dry cleaning guy. He wanted the money upfront.

You're going to have to excuse me. I watched Leave the World Behind yesterday, and I am properly spooked.

Did you like it?

I loved Leave the World Behind. I loved it. I thought the acting was great. I thought the filmmaker did a really great job. It was easy to look at. I was on my heels the entire time watching it. I was telling Sugats before the show, he's like, I use the word dystopian. He's like, You love that word. I'm like, No, Sugats. I've just been forced to use it more than I'd like to.

These movies- It's.

Getting a lot of run this week, though.

I got to be honest. He says it a lot. Would you define.

Dystopian for us? I have no idea. I just know Mike says it. Take a guess. Not Topian.

Right. I want to live in a topian world.

He's right about that.

Nailed it. But these films in A24 came out with a trailer this week for the movie Civil Wars. These things used to be things that you could fantasize about, and now they feel like predictive analysis a little bit, and it's scary.

I liked that movie. I enjoyed the apocalyptic feel of that movie, but we're headed there.

Don Libertard. Enough with the DJ Khaled collaborations with people that are hot right now. We want to see DJ Khaled work with some of the great singers of yesteryear. Can you imagine how great it would be if DJ Khaled started bringing out special guests onto the stage? One of them was Brian Adams.

Hey, everyone, it's Liza Minnelly.

Stugatz. Barbara Streisand.

Elton John, it's your song.

Andrea Bocelli.

Another one.

Tony.

Bennett.

Freaky Avalon.

Thomas Dolby, he's blinding you with science.

This.

Is The Don Levator Show with the Stugats.

It isn't actually that Stugats doesn't listen because he does listen to other shows. He just doesn't listen to this one while we're doing it. So he just got information that Richard Sherman said last night that Brandon Staley should have been fired at half-time. And I agree.

It's hard to argue.

It's a great take. At Levitard show, JuJu put it on the pole, Should the Chargers have descended from the front office and fired Brandon Staley at half-time of yesterday's Chargers Raiders game?

Richard Sherman.

Also said that during the half-time show. It wasn't like after the game, he's like, They should have fired him at half-time. During the half-time show, he said, He should be fired right now.

They should have fired him. At 42 to nothing, right? Yes.

I agree. I think- Forty-two. I don't think Brandon Staley would have even been surprised if that had happened at half-time. Stugatz, do you know who Luke Abling is?

No. No.

You don't.

Know anything? Baseball player? He is. Old-time baseball player or a USC fighter? Heavyweight champ?

Boring fighter? No. Luke Abling is a former Hall of Fame shortstop, and I believe his nickname was one of the truly terrible nicknames throughout sports history. I believe his nickname was Old, Aikes and Pains. He's a Hall of-So Billy. Yeah, so Billy. I think we should nickname Billy, Old, Akes and Pains. That is correct. Luke Abling, I have no idea why Mike Ryan came across this video of Luke Abling at 75 years old. Is it a celebrity game of.

Some sort? This video came to me because it was retweeted by a baseball account that I follow. The origin of this is baseball by B. S. Mile. This is from a 1982 crackerjack, Old Timers, baseball classic. You'll see before this video, in which a 75-year-old Luke Abling is at the dish, they'll go around the horn and you'll see a lot of all-time great baseball players. I believe he hits this one-off of Warren Spahn. Let's enjoy this video together. Keep in mind that Luke Abling is 75 years old at the time.

That's nuts. You're telling me, what's the ballpark that we're playing?

This looks like RFK because they said it was Washington, D. C. This looks like RFK here.

Luke Abling, a former short stop who was known, I think, for hitting line drives, not necessarily home runs. You're telling me at 75, he leaves the yard?

Well, that was a payoff here.

He didn't tell you that. He didn't say a word. Yeah, he had 46 career homers.

But I guess, spoiler alert, let's all enjoy a 75-year-old Luke Abling hitting a home run at RFK off of Warren Spahn.

Coughlin McCovey is in at first base for the National League. Phil Cabareta started at the bat for the National League at second base. Red Shane Dibs. Carly Cushel to San Jose. It's a short stop, Keeway-Rees. At third base, Ernie Banks in left field, Stan Musiel in center field, Hank Aaron and in right field, Ralph Keiner. The catcher is Smoky Burgess. And the pitcher, Warren Spahn. And with 75-year-old Luke Kaplan, who still works in the Atlanta Braves Organization, facing Warren Spahn, deep to left field, way back there, home run, Luke Kaplan. Luke Kaplan.

75 years old. Look at how he run. He's going to fall down and break.

You got to love it. Is that great, Red? I told you when you were talking.

About him at the.

Start, you could still swing that bat. 75 or nothing. Luke Kaplan, rumbles around the bases, 75 years old. There it is.

Okay, Lloyd. With a high five. And a.

Spani's pitch into the left field seats. Let's go down to the American League dug out in George Graham. Luke Abling, 75 years of age. And Luke, you put some wood to that one. Not necessarily. It's a short left field then. I'm usually a right field hitter. But Spani said, Don't let me throw too many pitches. And I said, Well, lay it in there. He did. You've had some great moments. This is one of the greatest for you. Yeah, I enjoy being here with these good boys. You don't see them all. See a few going around all the time, but never all of them together like it is here. This is wonderful. That's Luke Affling, a batting coach in the Atlanta Braves organization. He put it to good work tonight with a home run. Wait till the boys see that I work with. I'd tell them the pitch was 400 feet.

Stugat, I am going to be totally honest with you here. Okay. He grooveed it. Well, that was admitted to and confessed in the postgame.

Classic spawn.

If you had told me before showing me that video that there was a circumstance in which a 75-year-old person would have more trouble running around the bases than hitting a home run out of that ballpark, I would.

Have bet all- That was the easy part.

I would have bet all of the money that I had that he could do one of those things and not the other. He barely got around those bases. That was a labor to get around those bases. But he hit that home run legitimately.

You could have told me that those guys were all in their peak form, and that's just what baseball looked like in that day.

-come on. No, Chris, you would have bought it.

You would.

Have bought it.

It's legitimately after the sixth or.

Seventh person, Chris said.

They look so old. I'm like, Yeah, it's an old timers game. I just thought that's what I imagine Babe Bruce.

Looked.

Like in his peak. But can we be honest about this? Honestly. It was only the white guys who looked old.

-oh.

Hammer and Hank.

-hank had.

The gut going.

-hank looked a little stout. -hank did. Ernie Banks looked great. -yeah, he did.

-he did. -hank did not look like Ralph Kyner or Red Chain Diesk.

Have you guys seen that? The famous Hank Aaron clip where he breaks the home run record, he looks 50 in that clip.

He was. He was. I'm just saying like that. What are you talking about?

But that's an actual baseball game. My point is the video of Hank Aaron breaking the home run record looks exactly like that video. They look exactly.

Like that. Old people are so cute. They're so adorable. They're so happy.

Video, can you put up for me an assortment of photos there? I just want to put Hank Aaron next to Ralph Keiner and Red Shaneyce, and I want to revisit the claim that was.

Just made. I mean, he's closer to them. Okay, no, no, no. I mean, you're going.

Mountaintop here. That's fine. I'm going to again show you photos, I think that escaped your attention of the second.

Basement, Red Chain Dease. I'm telling you, I've never been more attentive to any video we've ever played. Nothing in that video escaped my attention.

I'd like to thank you because it made me happy. So thank you for finding it, Mike.

You're welcome. Big baseball guy.

Again, Ralph Keiner, Hangarant, they do not look similar in these photos.

Yeah, but you've walked it back. Ralph Keiner, very clearly, King of the Mountain. Red.

I'm not walking it back. Red. I'm not walking it back.

There's Red. What are you doing? Looks like he's going to take a shit.

That is how I have spent the last two years feeling like that.

Like old Red?

Is that a lefty.

Second-based man? He's old Red. What's going on? I'm Luke, round-of-the-basis.

Across his body every time.

Chris Cody, are you ready to update the polls? During the polls, please, I'd like Ralph Keiner put up on the screen as well so that Mike Ryan can walk back what he is claiming that Ralph Keiner looked at all like Hank Aaron there. Start us up with the polls, Chris.

The polls are brought to you by Dollar Shape Club. Epic Razors, epically affordable, find them in stores or online.

Is the dry cleaners the only place in America where loyalty still matters besides quiz notes? Okay. 72% say yes. Did you know that the Cincinnati Reds football team existed? No, 86%. Have the chiefs been getting away with generally, serially, cheating all... Oh, God. Have the chiefs been getting away with generally, serially, cheating all year long so much that they should be called the Kansas City Cheats? 73% say yes.

The belly looks as big as the.

Foofa there. Yeah, Rob Kiner is really similar to Hanker.

I was going to say, Dan. I don't.

Know what you're doing. Kiner could mash, though.

Did we speak out against.

Body shaming like Monday?

I was looking at his hair. It's fine when it's 1982.

His hair. It's his hair that I was doing it too.

Do you go to the bathroom while on the phone with your friends? It's split here. 53 % say no.

Liars.

Is Seltzer the same thing as Club Soda? 58 % say yes.

Question?

Is spaghetti sauce better the next day? 61 % say yes. Did you learn last night that there were two NBA game balls for every game? 69 %, nice. Say yes. Should I keep going? Yes.

The silence is disconcerting. You're not getting laughter. -are we still.

On air? I'm watching.

You squirm. Not only am I watching you squirm, I'm enjoying the idea that the silence is so profound that we can hear the insecurity in your reading.

Is Ohtani overrated? There was a lot of Os there.

There are zeroes.

Sixty-two % say no. Oh, this is a big one for me here. Is Honey a condiment?

Sixty-three %.

Say yes. I agree.

What is more disgusting to eat? Pickled pig's feet or tripe with hair on it? Oh, God. 80 % say tripe with hair on it. Those are the polls because I'm feeling uncomfortable.

There are more?

Do you drink or eat honey? 86 % say eat. Too quiet, man. Is Puku Nukua a fun name to say? 94 % say yes. I'm done this time.

For real. Are there more?

Are you surprised that Mike Trout has the same amount of post-season RBI as Andy Pettit? Thank you. 53 % say yes. That's it. 48 % not surprised by that.

Jessica, do you mute bathroom time on the phone? Because I will use the phone in the bathroom, but I will mute so that it's not being heard.

That I'm in the bathroom. Well, you got to mute the flush. I mean, come on.

How about the stream?

Mute the stream as well.

Because the stream does.

Anybody- And.

The hand wash. Does anybody in here not mute anything and just lets it fly?

I let.

Heri let it fly. I'm mute. I let it fly, yeah. I like to establish on the front end I'm in the bathroom. So whatever happens from here on out, it happens.

That's where you're honest?

Yeah.

That's ridiculous, Stugaz. What do you mean? What's the point if you tell them? It's supposed to be like a thing between you and God.

So when they hear me flushing the toilet in a couple of minutes, they know that they're not surprised by it.

Is filming something on your phone the most present you can be in that moment? 70 % say no.

Wrong.

They're wrong? Because Stugatz believes that life is meant to be lived through the prism of your telephone. I mean, it's not a ridiculous thing to say. As many people as I see doing it. At this point, you're the weirdo if you don't have your phone up filming the concert or your meal, correct? I'm the strange person with my light on on my phone, but it's in my pocket and it's not doing anything.

Oh, man.

I was going to.

Say that's happened to you.