Happy Scribe
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Welcome, Dan Levy, really being honest about it, just a giant piece of shit to the big, silly Bald Eagles, a podcast exclusive that none of our bosses ask for more sports, more work, less pay.

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I haven't stopped talking in a month. I mean, I know the value.

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You just when you thought the show couldn't be more dilutive, bam. Last time I listened to this show, I haven't listened for years.

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Now here's the marching band. No way am I missing something.

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What am I missing? The end of the story that Chris Fallica, its Fallica you made on the penis and the habitual liar.

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I didn't ask for any of us for all of it. The big SUV.

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I'm Chris Codi BSP and. Andy Reid figuring out his face shield thing, is this like an indictment on the preparation before the season? Like, no, like because they fixed that really quick, like the first game. It was like the foggiest thing you've ever seen. And now it's just crystal clear. Is this a good adjustment after game one or poor preparation before game one?

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I would say poor preparation before a game.

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Yeah, because it was pretty absurd. Like the film. They made adjustments. I know, but yeah. How about you put the mask on before the regular season starts and see if it fogs up?

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It seemed like they were just like they handed him 20 minutes before the game and they're like, here you go. It's like everything else. There's no preseason to break down the tape. You know, you could do walkthrough, but there's nothing like an end game situation.

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It's a fair point.

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It's excellent analysis out of Billy. Chris, you wanted to say something about LeBron.

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What was it that what have you guys seen it? It's we record this obviously in the morning. He he tweeted at six a.m. he just did that because, you know, he's not sleeping till game five member. He said that.

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Forty eight more hours, some jif of some cartoon being wide awake at six thirty.

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He set his alarm to do that. That's really bad strategy.

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Actually, I think not even Chris, I think you went to sleep last night watching the Cartoon Network, took a picture, set his timer to send that out this morning.

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And that day he's sleeping right now. Yeah. Yeah, he is a tad corny. I know a lot of Heat fans are getting annoyed with the complaining about calls. I can't do that because that's just so hypocritical. I like. Yeah, you're not actually even your Knicks fan. No, I'm happy to do it. And the hypocrite. No, no. It's become unbearable. I'm sorry you did not do this in Miami when he was in Miami.

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Not not to this level. When you take LeBron, who's already annoying and complains about every little thing and then you sprinkle in some Rondo, it becomes unbearable and unwatchable. I can't do it. And why the referees? That is your court. It is your home. It is your court. It is the only place you're relevant. You have control. Why are you letting that man talk to you like that in your house on your court? Explain it to me.

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I love well, they're not here. I also love that, you know, all the married lives of Tony Brothers and Scott Foster.

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So, you know, whether they're in control of their Fosters stand because I've seized on Tony Brothers, their situation is by that Disney pool. He is loving. Life is so happy. He's like, let me just come out here and make a little bit near Thunder Mountain.

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We'll see how much he likes it Friday night. Roy, I think, Roy, did you read somebody say that he's going full? George Hamilton It's getting a little weird with Scott Foser.

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It's crazy how long the bubble has been going on.

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I was listening to the ESPN Daily Malique Andrew.

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She's been in there since June. Twenty ninth. I feel terrible for her.

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Well, but that's the thing. We were just talking. You feel terrible for her, but we just put all of football in a bubble for twice that long. Right.

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Jimmy Goldstein said it's the safest place on the planet and he's right.

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What was the reaction to that Jimmy Goldstein interview? Because I really I assumed that the audience wouldn't like it, even though if you don't know what we're talking about. NBA super fan Jimmy Goldstein is 80 years old and he came on with us yesterday, kind of surprised us because he was heartbroken about not being allowed in the bubble. He its first finals games he's missed in twenty five years. And so what I assumed would happen is that people wouldn't like the interview for a number of different reasons because it was an old person sounding old because of the privilege that there is in being able to spend 500000 dollars.

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What do you say? He said he would have saved 500 grand. Yeah, if anyone hearing that, I can understand why they would be like especially during these times. Wait a minute. You're going to be heartbroken because you saved five hundred grand because you've got so much money that you can't get courtside. He's an eighty year old. Well, that's what. No, I'm, I'm with you like. But I assumed that the audience would not like that for a number of reasons.

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Even after what when we were done. You thought it would be a bad interview before we started. You said it before under your breath. But I thought when I left that you had taken the loss there. You know what the reaction was to that interview?

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I don't know. I do feel like without even checking the mentions on Twitter or any sort of reaction, I do feel like I took a loss, though. I thought Jimmy Golson was better than I thought he was going to be.

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Yes. Well, I just thought it was interesting, if nothing else. Like, it wasn't. It wasn't I didn't think it was boring. But I think at least in part, I didn't think it was boring because he surprised us. Billy, what was your reaction to the Jimmy Goldstein experience? Because we like to take swings around here and sometimes those swings are misses.

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We take one every Tuesday. Yes, we do. Every Tuesday, we take a swing with an old guy, a guy older than Jimmy Goldstein. That's got to be the oldest, right? I went on a radio station last night and they asked me about Eddie Van Halen death, and my immediate reaction was, whoa, old guy radio like that's where we started. And I'm like, I'm going to call it old guy radio. When I just had Greg Cody and Jimmy Gold's the Jimmy Goldstein experience.

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What was your reaction, Billy? I felt bad for him.

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He sounded like heartbroken. He felt he seemed to think that he was wrong. I mean, I. I don't know what he's watching. There's zero actual fans in there that aren't like family members. So I don't know why he thought he was going to get in the bubble, but. I mean, it would be interesting if Jimmy Goldstein was the only NBA fan allowed in the bubble and he's just walking around the hotel lobby in his bathing suit with a towel around his arm, he's like, what time dip?

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And he's acting like the ref is like, all right, see you there.

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I wonder how much he would have paid to get into the bubble man from from how beaten up he sounded like he I should have asked him that question, but I can just go back on to whenever we talk, whenever we talk about money, I can feel like I sort of felt that I was putting Jimmy Goldstein in a bit of a bad position in that there's a certain entitlement that it sounded like once he goes down the path of saying that he tried to get in the bubble and is hurt, that he wasn't in the bubble and that David Stern would have gotten him into the bubble, like I could see how every sports fan listening to that would be like, really, dude, you think your money is going to make you so special that you're the only person allowed in a pandemic bubble, but everyone get over it.

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I mean, is Jimmy Goldstein. He's an NBA super fan. He sits front row. He pays a lot of money. He doesn't have to apologize for having a lot of money and spending it the way that he wants to spend it. Like I hate people who spend other people's money. If that's what Jimmy wants to do with his money, don't. That's what his money. Don't you I mean, do I made a career out of it. Don't you do that on the radio all the time.

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Where the. Hey, it's been a while. You out a Ponzi scheme is used by the Dargo. The car is not a chicken.

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You mentioned you mentioned Eddie Van Halen and I saw this. That was a gut punch and I saw this pop up on my timeline. I want to courtesy the book, though. I got to the roots of it.

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I'm sorry. Forgive me there. I laughed at an inappropriate time. It was the stray chicken squawk, not Eddie Van Halen.

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Laugh like that. That was the last tiny chicken squawk is what made me laugh as Mike started talking about the death of Eddie Van Halen.

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So yesterday a lot of people of a certain age were feeling their own mortality. That is, of course, when David Wethers son came out and pitched for the San Diego.

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I believe it. I'm still reeling from I don't know.

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That was the most stunning thing from the Twitch broadcast, that Roger Bell still holding a seething resentment to the Miami Heat, not mourning him so he could root for the Miami Heat.

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He could have helped. Damn it. Either way, I saw this pop up on my timeline. I retweeted it and I was like, man, I hope I didn't fall for an Internet trick, but I got down to the source of it. And this comes from the book Eruption in the Canyon. Two hundred and Twelve Days and Nights with the genius of Eddie Van Halen, who passed away succumbing to throat cancer after a long battle. This is a story about Eddie Van Halen after Westmoreland, the guitarist for Limp Bizkit, left the band, Fred Durst.

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They were the biggest rock band, arguably in like six weeks. Yeah, yeah. At the time. So Eddie Van Halen goes to a jam session as their you know, we're huge. So why not get Eddie Van Halen and Limp Bizkit?

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So the story goes is this Van Halen was apparently so dismayed by a jam session to the point where he called it like being a scholar amongst kindergarteners. It gets better. The next day he went to get his gear from the Beverly Hills house that they were doing this jam session. And and the description goes from here. Eddie once bought an assault vehicle from a military auction. It had a shine gun mounted on the back and it was definitely not legal.

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Eddie drove the assault vehicle through L.A. into Beverly Hills, then parked it and left it running on the front lawn of the house. Limp Bizkit was rehearsing and he got out wearing no shirt, his hair in a samurai bun on the top of his head. His jeans held up with a strand of rope and combat boots held together by duct tape. And he had a gun in his hand. That asshole answered the door. And this is someone that was in the jam session recalling the story and Van Halen was reciting this.

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I put my gun to that stupid bleeping red of his and I said, Where's my shit mother bleeper? That bleeping guy just turned one of his employees and starts yelling at him to grab my shit. Eddie Van Halen stood on the front lawn of a residential home in Beverly Hills in broad daylight, smoking a cigarette while holding a gun on Fred Durst as he went back and forth from the house to the assault vehicle, lugging amps and guitars.

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That is the Eddie Van Halen story. Is it the cigarettes that got him on the throat? Cancer. I know he had beaten or he had been sober for a while.

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Their cigarettes, usually in throat cancer. It's either that or HPV that causes cancer with rock stars. You can't discount that. I don't know why I'm here. I like getting armchair quarterbacking.

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Exactly, but not when he died. It stands to reason why he died at the age of 65. I was wondering because he was a famous partner, Michael Douglas sort of opened up a whole new portal to throat cancer.

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I don't think anybody really considered before I. Yes, I don't know the scientific veracity of whether or not you can get throat cancer from cunnilingus, but regardless, you definitely can. You definitely can.

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Yes, 100 percent.

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OK, but when you when HPV you didn't like if I knew what you were talking about, it's a sexually transmitted disease and that's a common thing.

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I put it on the pole gear. Lieberthal showed, you know what HPV is. You don't want you don't want that I know is honestly not the direction I thought that was heading in.

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But no, I wasn't going. But you understand, don't put that on the pole. I wasn't going to say, can you get throat cancer from cunnilingus? I was going to say, do you know what HPV was? Because I don't know or I didn't know what it was regardless at the time. Eddie Van Halen, star of Stars. Right. You can make the argument that David Lee Roth was the biggest star rock star in America as the front man to that band.

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But Eddie Van Halen was considered the musician and that band had to rock stars. He was married to Valerie Bertinelli, who at the time was, you know, on television on one of three channels. On one day it was it was it one day at a time was the Valerie Bertinelli show.

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I think it was the name of the band, though, was Van Halen. It was not Lee Roth.

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You know, that's true. Yeah, that's a good point by the gods there. It was not Lee Roth. Lee Roth is weird, Lee. Roth is absolutely not a good band like you. We can agree. I think we're playing the result there. We'll put it on the pole. If Van Halen had been exactly the same, the same band, but had been called Lee Roth.

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Not nearly as good. Not nearly as good. I know this is old guy radio, but you're feeling your mortality on his death. I was feeling mortality when he was in Las Vegas. Lee Roth was in a Las Vegas hotel there playing running with the devil at a bachelor party. He's got a camera crew behind him.

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He's like watchdog that I can't I got to leave the room. That is not torture. You've got to see that.

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Oh, he knocks on the door and they have no idea who he is when they open the door. And he was like expecting excitement from the look. Here's David Lee Roth. But they didn't recognize him either because they didn't know he was the lead singer or because he was just so old that he was unrecognizable. It was a very painful experience, though. That's David Lee Roth used to being famous and forgetting that that fame came from an album literally titled 1984.

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Does the shipping container, Midas Roy, have any earthly idea who or what we're talking about? That's a good question. I don't know.

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I mean, we keep doing this and let's see, I've heard of both those guys that their music doesn't do much for me. I like I I'm sure I've heard of their songs. But if you say, what's your favorite Van Halen song, I can't really even name one. But I'm sure I've heard it.

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But I don't think even though he's a hockey fan and Van Halen is getting so many royalties from hockey arenas, I think word association, Van Halen, when you turn to Roy, it's got to be beat it right. No jump, OK? Is it really because he did the guitar solo for Beat It, right? Yeah, and he rearranged the entire track and it was one famously one take for the guitar riff or beat it, which is great.

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I don't know what where do you go? Is Eddie Van Halen, the obituaries, are they being too kind when they call him the greatest guitarist ever? Because he was certainly a pioneer. He was copied by many. I don't you know, I think most people say Jimi Hendrix is where I would go, but Eddie Van Halen is always put in that that area of that era.

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I would certainly put them atop there. Each generation has their guy.

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Tom, I'm like you. I will kill you with my bare hands. I will kill you with my bare hands.

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Billy, do you know do you know anything about Van Halen?

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I think the Lee Roth guy was on The Surreal Life. Right.

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That's a good way to do it. Right. Was he indeed on The Surreal Life? Because I can't imagine him being that kind of hard up. I don't remember him being hard up, but maybe it was like a best week ever.

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One of those things I feel like he has a VH1 connection in some way.

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Tony, do you know anything about Van Halen? Tony's our youngest member. Yeah, I know. I know Van Halen. I know David Lee Roth. I know Eddie Van Halen. My favorite. You know, nineteen eighty four is a good album. I love Jump. It's unfortunate, but I don't know if you would if you would knock on my door today, I don't think I'd be able to put a face to the name.

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It looks like an old man now. David Lee does. So for me to actually recognize David Lee Roth is a bit of a stretch, given how it looks right now. My needs addressed the way that he did in the jump.

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It all done you this this was maybe, I don't know. Fifteen years ago, I got on a boat headed to the Miami Heat's arena, and there were like ten people on the boat and it was a big boat. And we get close to the arena and I look over and I'm like, have I been on this boat with David Lee Roth the entire time?

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I didn't recognize him. It was him. And that's amazing. And but that was old. Like it's between 10 and 15 years ago.

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You hanging out with TI Payne?

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I don't remember. I was with Jarell Martin on that boat and she had.

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Wow, that's old school really. So somebody's been more than I think it was. Probably more than ten or fifteen. Might have been more. And he was old then though.

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How old is he now. I don't know how old. Old enough to not be recognized in a Vegas hotel room when the bachelor party is playing his song.

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Lee Roth is sixty five years old. Oh my God. Sammy Hagar is seventy two. You didn't recognize him when he was. At least I didn't recognize him. All because you're talking about the gymnastics guy in the jump video with the tight, colorful pants and the long flowing hair and the long flowing hair was gone. There was no long hair.

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I can't I believe Sammy Hagar is 72 years old. Holy shit.

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But you look so much better than the rest of the guys. Well, David Lee Roth is 65, but again, he was in Van Halen. So those years they just killed somebody. Those years, dog years.

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He wasn't on The Surreal Life he was on. I love the 70s. I love the 80s and I love the 90s.

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I love those shows. I love the I love series.

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So good the soup is back again. They really. Yeah, that's good. Who's hosting it?

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I don't know. I was watching. I was like, I don't know.

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That made Greg Kinnear right. Did the soup the soup made the acting career of Greg Kinnear and then who came after that. Who came.

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Thought you were talking about Dave Campbell.

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Oh yeah. And whether he. Dave.

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We will get to a Wizard of Oz story involving Mike Ryan's father in a second, but I just wanted to put the punctuation on Dave Soup, Campbell, that Drew got mentioned, because some of you, if you don't know who we're talking about with Eddie Van Halen, you might not also know that there was a time that Dave Soup Campbell was an ESPN superstar who was like the lead color commentary voice on all things baseball.

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It's the shipping container. Had no idea about Eddie Van Halen, but they knew everything about Dave all.

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So, Mike, can you help me here real quick before again we get to the Wizard of Oz story involving your father, the nickname of Soup. Where does it come from? Dave Campbell was a major league player, has to be the last name.

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And that's just, you know, it's just there's stuff even like it that he like Super Bowl.

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I'll look it up just to look it up to satisfy Dan. But it's a gamble.

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I mean, it is fair that that would be the assumption to be made there. But so Dave Stupe Campbell was a superstar at ESPN when just a famous 90s, 90s student. It was a ninety nine television star.

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Yeah. When SportsCenter mattered.

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Right. And this is at the height of ESPN, at the height of SportsCenter, when they're, you know, belching out content that is making people superstars. It's the glory age of ESPN anchors. It's back when they were spending on those fancy commercials.

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I'm upset I looked it up, but it is a reference to the Campbell Soup. OK, well, thank you for doing that for me. Is an act of charity for me. I thank you. I just wanted to be sure because it's important that we be empirically accurate on this. So Dave Soup, Campbell, if you want to look him up in a segment we like to call Google this, he's leathery. OK, and lest you think that the worldwide leader in sports is Mekka, I imagine someone like I don't know, Tony, for example.

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Well, all of you guys, right. The first time you guys were on the Bristol campus, you were like awed by the fact that you were in the center of what is, you know, your childhood viewing experience as a sports fan. I saw my colleagues in the caf. It was amazing.

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OK, so you saw Michael leaves in the caf and it was amazing. Put it on the pole game show. Is seeing Michael Eaves in the caf amazing? Yes or no?

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It really is like the commercials, though. You'll be waiting for an elevator and outcomes of Phillie Phanatic. There's a there's gritty.

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So lest you think though, that it is the top of the universe, it is actually a very small place. I think I have this right when I say that Bristol, Connecticut, the reason ESPN is there is because the whole economy of Bristol is founded on ESPN and ESPN gets all sorts of tax breaks because basically the city's name is synonymous with this entity. But it is a sad, small place, not the campus itself. They've poured a lot of money into.

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You could drive through that place basically on one street in five minutes, but that campus now is not nearly what it was in the 90s. And so what I'm not going to tell you who it was, but there was somebody who showed up for thinking in Bristol, Connecticut, for the first time here. I'm coming to Mecca. I'm coming to the top of the sports food chain. Here is where my dreams are made. If media members want to work in this business, this is where they need to be.

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And they walk over to the Bristol Madison Radisson Hotel, which was unbearably sad, like it's been renovated. But in the 90s, it it smelled like, you know, it just smelled like mildew, an old carpet. And they're alone on a beach chair. Getting a tan with one of those silver things that you put under your chin was a shirtless and spectacularly reptilian Dave Soup Campbell.

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And what washed over my friend was simply a profound sadness of this is what the top of the sports world looks like. I remember feeling that in the ESPN Zone in Times Square with Bob Ryan, who didn't have great breath that morning, and the stained furniture and the crappy stale bagels of doing the sports reporters for the first time and looking around and being like, this is it. This is the top of the world. I told that story and was topped by my friend and the Dave Stewart Campbell story.

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I got to be honest, it still seems like heaven to me. You stroll to the Radisson and there's soup.

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You know, the Radisson looks a lot better now than it does then. So does the pool, because, again, it was one person in the afternoon on a cheap beach chair by a pool that felt like a motel pool.

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Well, is the Radisson the Doubletree now because that Doubletree in Bristol was worth the trip, you had to be there right now.

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You got to be there when the coaches strolls through. Man, I remember. Dan and I were sharing a coffee next to Mark Helfrich. I walked out next to Hodgy. I mean, Merrill Hoj the gym was great. I'd see P.J. Carlesimo on the elliptical. I'm like, I've made it.

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I rode a bus from Hartford to Bristol with PJ.

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I didn't have Jack del Rio being a flatbread guy. I honestly have to make a couple of text calls before we get to the Wizard of Oz story involving Mike's dad, because I think I might have a detail wrong in the story. I think everything is right, except at the time the Radisson didn't even have a pool.

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I think it might have been just like a ski, just like, look, I'm going to make some calls. Mike, tell your Wizard of Oz story. I make some calls here and do some reporting.

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I will tell my Wizard of Oz story after this nugget from Diana Ambrosini, as we're all trying to wonder with the breaking news of what's happening with all these NFL teams and particularly the Titans, because they've already emptied the chamber in available weeks that they could eat up. Diana Ross, any tweets out that the Titans are in a difficult position? For many reasons. The bills play next Thursday night against the chiefs moving. Oh, that's a good game. Moving Bills Titans to Monday seems impossible with this schedule.

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Canceling or forfeiting may be the only options. So curious to see what forfeiting. Yeah, forfeiting. Forfeiting.

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We're doing that. That's it.

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You've read plans that say that forfeiting is and is opening the door to that. I, I don't think forfeiting is going to fly. I think maybe just, hey, we played one last game and we'll take our chances. We just have to be that much better right now. The Titans are undefeated. Correct. So they do have a leg up they can afford given their good start. All right. So here's the Wizard of Oz.

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What are you saying? Just cancel an entire week out is what you're saying. It's yeah, they play one less game and you just roll the dice and hope your record is good enough. I don't know if they decide to go winning percentage instead of win loss, but that also seems a little unfair.

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You can't have teams playing different amounts of games. You just can't know yet. It's got to be fair game.

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But baseball just I mean, like what what else do you do when I think cutting out an entire week maybe is probably if you're worried, I understand why you would say that you can't do it.

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You're messing with the structural integrity of the game. And Cam Newton just didn't play in the game because you're messing with the structure they just started. It's a quarter of the season and they don't seem to have a very good plan for it. So, like, they have no plan if you forfeit certain options to gods, like if that's where we are with it, like imagine that. Imagine the Titans have a good team but have a six week outbreak and and have to forfeit six games.

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It seems so immature.

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I'm mad right now at the NFL that we're just out here speculating, being irresponsible because we've been fortunate in this position because there's no public plan.

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I'm mad as well. And also, in addition to that, of all the sports through covid, the one that I've enjoyed the most is the NFL. No fans has not ruined it for me at all.

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It just seems arrogant in retrospect. What do they think was going to happen?

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What if they came out today and said, you know what, we're switching to a 14 game schedule just to give themselves a few weeks of leeway in the middle?

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With that? I'm good with that. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sure the network partners are not going to be right that we'll see. Maybe they expand the playoffs. And even further, there's one additional playoff team this week. The expanded schedule is supposed to start next season. You got to make you got to make good. That's why baseball was adding playoff teams right before the first pitch of the major. Got to give some game. You feel like you just like a network.

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Just had bills. Titans who's likely not going to get bills, titans. That's a very good game that they are now perhaps not going to get.

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They're going to get it. They spun it into a win. I don't know if you noticed on Monday night when the Chiefs game was on.

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Yeah. They kept broadcasting that ESPN has this game. Like that was absolutely something that had to be negotiated and CBS had to tell people with free commercial advertising, hey, go check out the game on ESPN as well, because we're stealing their audience. And look, man, these broadcast partnerships are all going to be rewritten. Like, I can't even imagine what it's like to be at the top of this company dealing with all of the contracts that there are that are are only partially being fulfilled.

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But I will not wait any longer for this Wizard of Oz story involving your father.

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All right. So it was my daughter's first birthday. And if you listen to a previous post game show, I said the only thing that grabs her attention on TV is The Wizard of Oz. For some reason, I revealed my hesitation with that. So was her first birthday. And it's a pandemic. It's a bummer we can't have this big party cancel all my friends over, can't have their kids over. So we limited this just to her grandparents, which includes my father and and her uncle and soon to be auntie.

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So we do this and we're all just we're enjoying it because of first birthday parties, really for the parents anyways and to take adorable pictures. So we all dress up as characters of Wizard of Oz. I was a flying monkey. For the record. My dad was handed the assignment of the Cowardly Lion. Now, my dad, he's a career bachelor, OK? He's not changing for anybody.

[00:28:28]

Tony, what are you laughing about? Tony, what are you you're laughing at just my general. With his father, he was handed the assignment of the Cowardly Lion is a great one handed this is to his credit, he went for it. But I just want to give you a little bit backstory with me and my dad. We have a very bizarre dynamic. He has no one else, so I have to be there for him. I don't particularly like him, but like, we just don't have common interests.

[00:28:52]

I think I know I love him, but I don't have to. It's just like I don't he's frustrating because he frustrates you a great deal. How do you love someone yet? Not like that. I know. Years, years. We're with you and I love you, but I like you. Even I should walk it back.

[00:29:10]

It's not that I don't like him. It's just that we don't have common interests. We're very different people cut from a very different cloth, even though we share a gene pool. So I look at my dad when he's with my daughter and I just like marvel at how I'm alive because my dad, whether it's putting on a diaper backwards or upside down, she's crying.

[00:29:30]

What is it? I'm like it's incumbent upon who's ever holding her to figure it out. Pops can't feed her. You can't really leave him alone out of fear that he's going to screw something up. A couple of days prior, we invited my dad over for a birthday dinner and we gave him a cupcake and my dad ate the cupcake with a paper on it.

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And I'm like, I'm like, Dad, you eat the paper with the cupcake. He's like, how am I supposed to know? Like, you've never had a cupcake. I did, but that was years ago. I'm like, this isn't exactly something that you can forget.

[00:30:03]

So he may have a wrestling match with a shampoo container. Yeah. Yeah. When he likes it, feel like he's helping. So he went to the the bathroom is Cynthia's bathing the baby and he, she made them feel my my wife is so great with my dad, he feels like he's actually bathing the baby for the first time and he gets the shampoo and it's one of these like lotion types, you know, like the little squirt thing at the top.

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It's very easy. A baby, my daughter can do it. He starts hitting the bottom trying to make soap. Come out. Come your dad, your dad, your dad is a sitcom character.

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So I'm just I'm a little stressed out, headed into this birthday party because I just know my dad's going to be around and I get very frustrated. And it comes off as disrespectful because maybe sometimes it is. But I'm just like, OK, my patience is thin. I'm very short with him. I just have to be good because I have my in-laws around and I don't want them to have any insight of what this dynamic is, even though I'm letting our listeners in on this dynamic, which is big thing.

[00:31:04]

I mean.

[00:31:05]

Yes, well, if he can't figure out a shampoo bottle, he's not going to be able to figure out a podcast.

[00:31:10]

So, yeah, very true. So, cupcake. So he shows up dressed as the Cowardly Lion rather than get dressed at the house, which is preferred quite honestly. And he's in full character. He is method acting the shit out of the cowardly lion inside me like a dead. You want pizza. I would if I was just scared. It's actually pretty big. But when he shows your finger, you enjoy doing thing that's funny about it. Is his daughter's one?

[00:31:45]

Yes. Why do you think she's got a Grambow who's like you to see deep in character. Yeah, he's like trying to get her attention and she's not because she's one she's and he's just like crying because it's getting attention. It was just. But when he showed up to my house, he shows up. It's a one piece costume. Right. And it's got like the exposed back. Most people you wear a t shirt underneath, so you're not having this exposed back.

[00:32:13]

He turns around and I see from the top of the neck to the top of his ass that just exposed back. And I just like push him into the bedroom. He's sexy as hell. Yeah, he's a good looking man. I'll give him this. I mean, you can keep saying sitcom.

[00:32:28]

I'm picturing Charlie Sheen, an older version of Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men.

[00:32:32]

He's exactly that. Only Charlie Sheen was a bit of a man's man. Like, I feel like that character could teach me a couple of things. Like I remember one time going to a Radisson, trying to teach him how to swim. And it was just a disaster. So it doesn't know how to swim.

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Any news on the pool, by the way? I will get you an update. I also am thinking about I'm waiting for a text back right now. My mom is bombarding me with heat criticisms. I just want to start the national show by calling your father.

[00:33:00]

And as we know what I will, I will leave just like. Right. I'm talking to right off the top of the national show. No explanation. Here's Mike. Ryan's dad is the Cowardly Lion. So know this is a trigger for me.

[00:33:13]

No, no. Flat out no. So, I mean, inspected ideas. I'm inspecting this costume and I notice the Cowardly Lion is wearing junk like this. And I'm like, what's going on there? He's like, OK, I'll just walk around barefoot. I'm like, no one wants to see your gnarled feet around here. Put on some shoes and he's like, well, I tried, but I can't figure it out now. The Cowardly Lion costume comes with those like slip overs with an elastic band that you can just wrap around the sneaker.

[00:33:42]

You put the shoe on first and you get in there. But now we're in this. I am my father is sixty five years old. He's sitting on the bed same age as David Lee Roth.

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I am my dad. Same age as my dad. Oh, Christ.

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I am putting a shoe on with a lion's pall over it like he is a toddler on my bed. Like what is my life come to get me out of here, I need a beer. So that was a dynamic. And after that, not a worry in the world. No sense of embarrassment that his son had to put on his shoes like he's a two year old jizz on his hands and knees walking around the house.

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So embarrassing. I love those I want to hear.

[00:34:24]

If you're not if you're going to deny me my mother's writing in here, I thought I couldn't dislike LeBron more, but I was wrong. If you're if you're going to give us the impersonation or or not allow us to talk to him, give me some of the things that he was doing. The laugh was key or the crying was key. Right.

[00:34:42]

He was pretending he was scared the entire time.

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Like he really bought into the ethos of along the entire day, the entire three hour birthday celebration, the entire day he was Daniel Day Lewis.

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At one point he's doing it like, you know this he knows it's embarrassing to you and annoy. You know, I don't think he does. Oh, really oblivious. Oh, it's just eating cupcake paper cupcakes.

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Look at this group photo that we have of the one, two, three, four, five, six and seven people. They're outside of my daughter.

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It's a great picture. And guess who's there just with a pop up purring like he's Chewbacca. In this photo we're saying cheese and he won't say cheese. He's just going to.

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Chris, what happens when you have interactions between its it's or it's just your dad, right? You're not embarrassed about your mom being around the in-laws?

[00:35:43]

No. Well, my mom is, like, very inquisitive. So, like, my mom can get a little hanzi with just like asking and because my wife's family is like the opposite of my mom or my wife and her parents, like, there's some things they just don't ask a lot of questions. And my mom comes and thinks she's being friendly and just starts peppering so that. But you're right, the embarrassing ones is when my dad gets over there and gets into the middle or likes too much and it's like the end of dinner and it's like, OK, we need to wrap this dinner up quick.

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It's stuff that like on a Sunday dinner when we're at my parents house by ourselves, I'm like, I'm used to it. I don't care. He can do what he wants, but I'm with my in-laws. It's like you're not nuts. You don't need three beers. Like, we can wait till the third beer can be after. You know, we can fix it with your phone, but I'm surprised I'm only one.

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I figured your dad would be very popular within the family with all family member.

[00:36:28]

No, he you know, my my my father in law talks baseball big Yankees fan. So, yes, like there's the big talking, but it's just my dad doesn't have any shame about getting up and getting the third beer during the sit down meal where nobody else has gotten up to get a refill. And it's just like, pace yourself, my man.

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I can relate. I relate what he is and like, I'm cool with my dad.

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But when we get around my in-laws, that's when I need to, like, watch out.

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Chris, I've known your father for a long, long time. If he holds it to three's fine because he's got a lifetime of endurance on that front, like that's that.

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The thing is, though, is he has four before he leaves the house.

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Won't look good for him. He is what he is. I mean, maybe your in-laws are the problem. It's not great, you know, I mean, I'm defending your dad here. I'm just saying I love your dad. Everyone loves your dad. I'm trying to get you in trouble with your in-laws. What am I doing? I don't know what you're doing.

[00:37:17]

That's not true. My good judgment. Sorry.

[00:37:20]

So you get into a situation last night. Was Greg Cody into the beers last night? Can you tell from a Zoome call? Because Greg seemed a little bit punch drunk. Tony is nodding his head vigorously. He claimed to have only had a beer or two.

[00:37:36]

And then you saw Serena Williams in the Virgile crowd.

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We know that with bad seeds, with bad seeds for Serena Williams, Serena Williams would have been displayed more prominently if it had been Serena Williams. And then he kept doubling down on it.

[00:37:50]

Yep. And then realized he was wrong and sprinted out of that zoomed shot.

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OK, OK, here it is. My source is written back. My source is written back. I had to brace myself. This is great. This is just tremendous. OK, so I did get some of the details wrong on the of soup Campbell tanning himself at the Bristol Radisson storing. There was no pool. And. It was the parking lot, even ground on the parking lot.

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How's business going for those aluminum like sunscreens that he was holding up to his body? Because I haven't seen that in forever.

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That's going the way of like Mary. That was just the last time I saw it. I remember like the exercise machine from like the 50s that was just an elastic band that would just juggle your hips. Like, that's what that's gone the way of I was thinking of something in that regard, I'm guessing Roy remembers this, but maybe the rest of you don't. There were a couple of things that you put on the car before. Do you remember the club on the steering wheel putting?

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Of course, some people still have it. I still have and still has the club.

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And how about the windshield that you put up? That is just a piece of cardboard to keep your card, your car warm. That is a pair of sunglasses. It's just cardboard. Do you guys know what that is? Is that something that is still selling these days? Is that something that today you can get a hold of? You guys are saying that you think the tan yourself by putting something under your chin, a silver aluminum foil under your chin, that that business is not doing well right now?

[00:39:40]

I do think that still exists. I think if you go to a beach like a public beach and you and you roam the parking lot, you'll see a ton of, like, sunglass shields on people's cars. I do. I think you'll see him.

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Well, you mean like a windshield visor? Yes. On from going into. Yeah, but it's a piece of cardboard. You take it out. Car covers the whole windshield. Yeah.

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I'm sure you can find that at advanced auto parts or something. Good job out of you on that job.

[00:40:05]

Good job. One of the one of the things though that can't be so the reason that we don't see those around here, I'm guessing maybe in other states you will see whatever it is. Put it on the pole. Garmo, do you know that what the name of that aluminum foil thing is that you hold under your chin to tan something about Mary thing?

[00:40:23]

Yeah, I don't know what to call it, but you can't because of climate change in South Florida. If you did that, your face would sizzle and burn as if it was being dipped in acid. Like, you can't you can't do that for five minutes. Of course, you're not going to have that in South Florida. We don't need it to be any hotter. You're going to it's going to be like bacon grease cooking your face or my face at least.

[00:40:44]

Yeah, but in Bristol, Connecticut, I could see where you want to capture all the sunlight possible and reflected upon your soupy face.

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I want you guys to Google if you have not done it yet, Dave Soup, Campbell. And I want you to understand that then Bristol Radisson was a profoundly sad place. It was a dump and Bristol was at the top of the sports universe. And you're pulling into the Radisson to check in for the beginning of your dreams, right? Dreams have come true. My dreams have come true as a sports personality. Hey, is that soup, Campbell?

[00:41:19]

Is he in a beach chair in the parking lot with one of those aluminum foil? I can't think honest to God, please give me some names that are funnier, not just the name itself of soup, Campbell, but just visually in the history of ESPN that it would have been funnier to see physically in that spot. Like, I know you guys are going to take some Burmans and some heavy people, but the fact that he cared this much about his tan, it was proven every time he was on television because he was extraordinarily tan.

[00:41:50]

He looked like base, a combination of baseball and the sea.

[00:41:56]

Sao Paolo, Sao Paolo. Petel does excellent. Vito Pito, just the entire nineteen ninety forecast of NFL match up.