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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, Fatface and the habitual liar. Dan, I've known you for a long time, and I feel like you're a principal person, and usually on the right side of arguments. I know you feel more alone than you ever have. But do you believe in your conviction? Do you believe in what it is you're saying? Because if you do, bleep everyone else.

I appreciate I appreciate you saying that as opposed to the way we ended last segment, which was to God's genuinely saying, as soon as we went off the air, when the bleep are we getting to my Lamar Jackson take? We're going to do that in a second. But yes, of course, how could I not both keep my convictions and feel more and more alone as I see gun deaths going up and Florida is more free about guns and people keep moving to Florida and out of the places that are more liberal? Because if we're headed a fight or a civil war or something that looks like the modern equivalent, best to be safe with your neighbors in Florida, where they allow more things that I'm not comfortable with.

So next segment for Lamar.

I'm not sure I'm following.

Time to get to the other potentially unvaxxed quarter, Rick. Which part are you not following, Jessica, that I would feel alone in Florida with my Cuban people who think I'm a gusano, a worm, because I ride with some of my people's politics. Florida is becoming a safe haven, a welcome place where a record number of residents are moving out of New York, more than anywhere in the United States. San Francisco is falling apart in a way that's pretty empirical and scary, and people are moving to Florida. What about Chicago?

I haven't looked at the data, but they're two of the most expensive real estate markets. And owning a house, renting, cost a ton of money. Miami also was very expensive. I don't feel like I'm saving much money by living here instead of living in New York. But I don't know. I don't feel like I'm safe in a state that has one of the laxest gun control rights in the entire country. I don't know. Also, not a lot of reproductive rights here. Not that safe to be a pregnant person with a... Like that kid.

Get two guns.

One for you, one for The Kid. With a complicated pregnancy.

A couple of guns, cutting it up. I don't know.

I'm just not following today, but that's okay.

Today's been weird. Yeah.

This is the one. Willow bit that wire and it threw everything off.

Never forget the time my grandfather looked me in the eyes and told me Michelle Obama's a woman.

Rocked my world. Stugatz. Let's everybody get out of the way. Stugatz has been wanting all week. He's got something for Lamar Jackson. I I don't know what it is, but I've been waiting for it all week, and you have stumbled in here soaked in medicine and eager to tell Lamar Jackson something that has not been said by anyone.

Every year, Dan, you know I like to do this right around playoff time. I like to list the quarterbacks that have the most amount of pressure on them. And this year, I don't care what happens this weekend, this year, that quarterback is Lamar Jackson. Everything has broken correctly for Lamar Jackson. And if you want to be considered one of the elites, two MVPs before the age of 26, not going to do it. You have everything right in front of you. Everything is there for the taking. You have the number one seat. You have the buy week, you have two home games to make it to the Super Bowl. You have the Chiefs, a team that has been great for the last seven or eight years. They are down. You have no Joe Burrow. If you get to the Super Bowl, you're likely going to play Brock Purdy or Jared Goff. If not now, when for Lamar Jackson. If he wants us to stop excluding him from elite quarterback conversations, then he has to get it done this year. Because, Dan, I am telling you, it will never be easier this year, ever in his entire career, than it will be for him this year.

He has it all right in front of a bad Dolphin team, a team that's down, that's injured. He has the Chiefs and Mahomes, they're down. No Joe Burrow. Dan, this is the year. They are an overwhelming favorite to make it to the Super and win the Super Bowl. I am telling Lamar Jackson right now, if you want me to include you in top-tier quarterback conversations moving forward, you better get it done this season. All right.

Do it in the Super Bowl. There it is. The official announcement from Stugatz, Lamar Jackson. You've done nothing.

He hasn't.

Do it in the Super Bowl. Yeah.

I mean, you want to shut Bill Paulian up, then this is how you do it. You go You go to the Super Bowl, you win the Super Bowl because it's never going to be easier for... You would agree, right? I think he's already done that, Stu. He's already shut Bill Paulian up.

He's one of two MVPs as a quarterback.

He doesn't completely shut him up until he gets to the Super Bowl.

How would you categorize an overwhelming favorite in the conference?

Mike, are they not an overwhelming favorites? They're the number one seed with two home games to get to the Super Bowl.

But they do actually put prices on these things. What do you think constitutes an overwhelming favorite?

I would say minus 1,500 or something like that.

Well, they are not that. They are plus money to make it to the Super Bowl. They're the favorite within their own conference, but to say overwhelming might be a bit of a reach.

Tony, why do you have a giant, radiant smile on your face? Is it because you just witnessed Maximum's to God's and you're still odd as a kid who grew up in this market, as a kid whose father...

I'm trying to help Lamar out. I want to discuss him when we talk about elite quarterbacks on this show, and I can't because he hasn't won a Super Bowl.

But Tony's father and you elbowed each other for space in the English-Spanish market of sports radio in Miami. Tony was just beaming as if he walked into a museum and was looking at a piece of art. I saw my mentor doing his stuff, having that one last fastball down the plate that smoked by the batter. Him saying in the same couple of segments that, one, you should be confident in the Miami Dolphins, and then two, saying, you have a bad Dolphins team that you're just going to steamroll.

That's how I roll. It's perfect. That was then. I learned from the best. Here's another take I'll give you guys while we're at it, okay? Oh, no. I am telling you right now, if I'm a Dolphin fan, I want to lose this Sunday. I would rather go to Kansas City than have the Texans and C. J. Stroud trolling the town. A 22-year-old kid, doesn't know any better, really talented. I think they're seven and one in his last eight starts. I would rather go to Kansas City, get them early, than play at home against C. J. Stroud.

How about that? You won't hear that anywhere. He's not guaranteed to make the play. This is an ass, an intake.

Neither the bills.

Mike, please. I've got to stop this real quick. Billy, please. I need your attention for a second because you clearly couldn't have been listening to that segment because I made one simple request- He's already heard it.of you. Stugats ended that with the discount. You won't hear that anywhere else. And I heard it through his soundproof door when he was taping God bless football. It's a take he's already given more exclusively to God bless football. When he says you won't hear that anywhere else, you will literally hear it in the last place he was taping. He gave the ridiculous take already. This is a recycled take we're getting here. Billy, why? I asked you specifically when he's doing recycled, reheated shit work around here to alert me when we're getting the laziest of recycled content. Why is he ending a sentence with- You got Lamar first. You won't hear that anywhere else when he already was giving that take 45 minutes ago.

This one had a different twist to it. You know what I mean? It was very close. It was like, It's like Coke and Coke Zero. Diet Coke, Coke Zero. What's the difference between Diet Coke and Coke Zero? The can color.

Mike, you were in your phone there. Is it because you're bored? The same thing that was making Tony- You can't let him get away with that.

What is this guy talking about?

That is the worst take of all time.

That's true.

I was in my phone looking at odds just trying to wrap my brain around the thing that I won't hear anywhere else. It is a pretty interesting scenario. Thank you. The second most favorite team inside the the AFC to win the conference is a team that might not make the playouts altogether headed into the final week in the Buffalo Bills.

That's crazy.

Jessica, your only rooting interest here to have a- Smetty Bowl. A folding table and a tent that I have now promised to fund through DraftKings and Metalark, a party that is the Smetty Bowl in the parking lot in Miami. If indeed, this is a dream scenario for the Dolphins. Stealers at home, first playoff game. Isn't that what the Dolphins would ask for?

I'd rather go to Kansas City.

The Colts?

Trust me, you want to play the Stealers.

Get the Chiefs early.

I'm going to get a spinach dip, Buffalo chicken dip. Half two. Halipino popper dip. Have to. What? Potato salad? Coleslaw? No.

It depends on the potato salad. You can go New York style. You can go Southern style. It depends.

We're going to have just an array of Publix dips.

And Publix subs, too.

I'll get a little like, spiral Publix. Big chicken tendy sub.

It's going to be great. Might as well get the little poppers, too. I love those.

I love the poppers.

Let's go quick, though. Let's go quick. I'll get my own personal rotisserie chicken, of course.

I've got a controversial question to ask. I've never asked in the history of this show. What is the one item that everyone in our audience would say that is item draft pick, selection number one tailgate? Because you mentioned public subs, and that's one of the first things I went to, but I don't know what would be. Is there a universal consensus on... My number one overall pick for a tailgate is blank. Yeah.

Well, actually, the answer is pretty simple because nothing pairs with our national obsession of football, quite like a 96-calorie Miller light, that beautiful white can, from kickoff to the final whistle.

That is what I was thinking. It's exactly what I was thinking. Bier and only one beer.

You're going to want a beer that tastes like beer, number one. It hits your taste bud so hard, you feel it in your heart. You know it's one multiple beer cups? They don't just give those things away. And it's triple hops brewed. They could have quit after two, but they decide, you know what? One more. Let's brew these with hops one more time.

Coming to a smetty bowl near you.

It's why I've never done the show. It's such an obvious dumb question. Before, when I drank beer, I didn't know if I had a heart, but then I drank this beer, and I was like, Oh, it touches my heart. I hit you in the heart. I have a heart. I have a heart. Yes. Wow. Yes. Unbelievable.

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Don Leber Tart. Teammates can't shoot from three. Now they're going to see a different Jimmy. Now he's just, just playing. Nickelback in the locker room and- Stugatz. They'll play D and show threes as they chase the nets for the sixth seed. These five words in his head, scream, Are we winning games yet? This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats. Presented by DraftKings' fantasy sports. Check out what DraftKings has to offer this season with code damn, because life's more fun when you're in on the action. Draftkings, the Crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-Gambler. Agent eligibility restrictions apply.

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German me, has been keeping some statistics. He took a certain delight in informing me. I didn't even know it was this bad. Hey, Dan, and he said it in such a cheery voice, You've lost eight straight weeks at the Bucket of Death. I was just excited to let you know because I knew you'd be excited for all the costumes. Yeah. I left the house today. My poor wife is surrounded by just materials that she is trying to prepare for the watch party. I have a costume, Grit of Death Punishment. I will have to-Materials? What does that mean?pay on Sundays. There were arts and crafts in the living room all over the floor.

You're way over thinking this.

By trying.

Just watch us suffer on Sunday. That's it. Undersell. Not there's materials all over my house.

No, I'm just saying, no. When she's, I don't want to talk about this. I don't enjoy doing this. You brought it up. That's not true. I didn't bring it up. Jeremy whispered to me that I'd lost eight straight weeks, and then Mike played this music.

How did that make you feel when you saw your wife making a costume?

Aroused. All right, I'm going to go ahead and pick from the Bucket of Death.

Oh, boy.

Oh, I got the 49ers.

Wow. Big game against the Rams, huh?

Sam Darnold versus Carson Wentz.

All right, producers, I do not have any spreads in front of me. I need some spreads so that I can help people- Spreads don't matter.

Let's do this with starting quarterbacks. Let's do this with starting quarterbacks. That's fair. Courtesy to our friends over at Draft. I believed that Sam Darnold should win the Heisman in 2017, so I'm going to keep this.

Oh, God.

Minus three, USC. Minus four, by the way. Minus four for the Rams.

All right.

Do the Rams need it or they're secured?

I think the Rams are secured. Okay.

I'm picking for Chris It'd be weird if they were starting Carson Went and they weren't.

And Willow.

Because I have the golden helmet of life. I only lost once this year. I've lost eight straight weeks. I've lost eight straight weeks. The Hackers. This is for Chris Cody, number one.

Jordan Love against Justin Fields.

Oh, wow. Packers, bears. I'm going to keep this because the bears don't bear historically.

The bears have been good, though.

Packers need this one.

Stugats. It's the bears. Chris Cody is keeping the packers. As far as the games go this weekend, that's not a bad one to have. Lucy has the Falcons.

That could be Heineke, that could be Ritter. It is certainly Derek Carr.

Putting that one back. That's how we're doing this.

We're simply going to- But it's also three and a half.

Two quarterbacks. This is a weird week, right? Nobody wants to bet that Ravens game, correct? They're going to be trying to rest everybody.

I'm all over that stealers game.

Detroit. Lucy gets Detroit. Favorite It's over the Vikings. Are they not locked in at their position?

They have to win that game. That game matters.

They still have an outside chance to improve their positioning.

They have a 98% chance of the three-seed. But they might be able to go to two if they win that game. Are they going to be playing that game as if care?

That is Goff versus nick Mullen's.

I'm keeping the line. Well, I have to keep the line.

Even if they don't care.

Willow gets the Falcon. I'm putting that back. Again, no Falcons.

Did Willow win or lose last week?

She won. We put back the Jag's helmet, knew they were going to lose. Got the Raiders. Big upset over the Chiefs. Willow wins. And Wizard of Oz for Willow.

Lions, tigers, bears, any of those.

You got the Bengals, Jake Browning versus Jeff Driskill. That would be your Tiger. But I think maybe Lyons and Jared Goff.

Take the Lyons. Two Lyons this week.

I've got the Miami Dolphins.

Three-point dog. Last I checked, I don't know if that line has gone up at all. Last I checked, three-point dog.

This is Tua versus Josh Allen?

Tony, come on. Billy, what would you do in this situation? I've got the line. Tony has the Dolphins helmet. What would you do? Dolphins? Keep it. He always wants to see me suffer, though.

So I know this trick from him. It's like, Yeah, keep it, buddy. It's going to be great. Then the Bills win by 40, and then I have to do something stupid.

But he wants you to show confidence. You haven't worn that many costumes this year.

I'd prefer you talk it out for maybe four more minutes. All right, I'll keep it.

They've lost once in home. That's a good helmet this week. It is.

Stugatz is the only one who believes in the dolphins. It seems like everyone else around here has checked out scared of injuries.

Although I did say a loss would be better. Go to Kansas City rather than have C. J. Stroud rolling in young.

He's not guaranteed to make the play. We'll see. That's right. He's not going to hear that anywhere else.

He's beating the Colts.

God bless football. It went out earlier today where he has reheated that take four or five times now. Billy, what do you have there?

I have the Seahawks. Oh, they need it.

The Seahawks are at the Cardinals.

Gino Smith at Kyler Murray.

However, by the time the Seahawks game kicks off, they will know their fate. I'm going to put it back because it could be a situation where they are not playing for anything and they know it.

That is why he is the Dukey, the internationally acclaimed, fourth-ranked best football analyst in the world.

I got a T-Y-F-Y-S helmet. Thank you for your service. I have an armed service, and they're-They're done, right? They're done. I guess I get their first game next season.

You want to take the Coast Guard?

The armed services are totally done playing football.

Well, they play basketball, though.

Oh, yeah, you can do that.

No, I'll wait till next football season. I'll give it a thinksy.

All right, make sure we chart that, please. Yeah, I'm sure Billy will I'll be on top of the scheduling on that.

I'm sure that that won't- I've been with an iron fist to have you know, and I've paid off all of my debt this year.

What are you eating?

What are you eating? Toast. You think that's a good idea to do that when we're on microphones?

I didn't think I was going to be questioned on my integrity.

Graham, I'm spinning it back. The Rams are a four-point dog at San Francisco. God damn it. I picked the Rams again.

Question once.

That's just clumsy. You're You're supposed to keep the helmet out.

Instead, you-No, you're not. No, you got to put it back in. You got to put it back in. No wonder you've lost eight straight times. Has that ever happened before? I've got the New Orleans Saints. I'm going to be putting that one back.

They need it.

That has not happened before, Roy. The Saints are a three-point favorite at home against the Falcons.

Yeah, I'm going to pass up on that opportunity. Thank you very much. I'm taking the Kansas City Chiefs that are starting Blaine Gabbert. But I think they're playing Easton Stick. They're at the Chargers. Yeah, I think I upgraded, honestly.

They're in a three-and-a-half point dog. You were a three-point favorite.

What are you talking about? I like this. I like this more.

What are you talking?

Easton Stick is a three-time national champion. There's something there with him, by the way.

Mike, you're a man who likes the numbers around betting and value. You just swung seven points in the wrong direction, and you said, I like my randomness. I don't trust the Saints.

I don't trust the Chiefs either.

I got the Colts.

The Indianapolis Colts are at home. They are one-point dog against CJ Stroud. You've been on the record.

Putting it back.

Get out of here.

It'd be weird. Cj Stroud is going to the Super Bowl, huh? You haven't heard that anywhere. Nope. Here we go. Give me the Texans. Give me the Texans. Give them to me. The Bills.

Stugatz is now in a such a winning position because publicly, he's got the applause of, I'm the only one who believes in the dolphins. Yeah. But why does he He always wins. He always wins. I got the Tampa Bay Bucks. They need it.

Wait, did you already put it back? You put that back? You put Baker Mayfield's five and a half point favorite, Tampa Bay Bucks, who need it.

He wants to dress up. Against a Carolina Panthers, you put that back.

It was this knife lost in a row.

Is it fully back in the bucket? No, it's back. Oh, wow.

He wants to dress up. I'm telling you.

Make it nine straight weeks. He has materials.

There is a skill to this game.

Now I have the Vikings.

nick Mullen's, congratulations. How do you feel about that one?

They need it. Minnesota is on the road at Detroit That was terrible, what I just did there. I deserve it. Awful. Unless. Not as bad as me picking the Rams twice. No, it's that bad.

Roy also had the golden helmet of life, apparently, and for that. But it's too late. You You already picked. You already picked.

We have to do it over again.

You got to do the whole thing over again?

No. When you're that incompetent, it sticks to you.

I forget. I'm sorry. Roy, go sit in jail. Go sit in jail.

Wait, don't talk about jail to me.

If that isn't the American justice system. Go sit in jail. I would send Roy to the penalty box.

You're supposed to remind me about that.

I'm supposed to- We're trying to help you out- I'm supposed to remind you of your privilege.

What? I'm supposed to remind you.

I think you just reminded us of our privilege by sending him to jail.

No.

Yes. He's going to dig in on this one. Not so left, are we?

He had the golden helmet of life. I do not need to remind him of his privilege. He needs to remember that he has the golden helmet of life.

Six wins in a row for the Panthers, Dan.

Get out. Okay, bye. You're in jail. Tony has a stat of the day for us. That was a fun basketball night last night, Stugatz, because, again, while a 7'3 rookie is playing against someone known as the Greek Freak, and after that game, the Greek freak says he's not 7'3, he's taller than that. The freakiest thing to happen last night was not in that basketball game. It was at the buzzer, the Warriors against Denver, the defending champion, Denver Nuggets, as Jokić again puts off a ridiculous stat line. And Stugatz, Jokić did an interview earlier this week in which he said a couple of things that are absolutely true and show why he's joyless. One, he said winning the championship was more relief than feeling anything Good. I get that. And two, he said, Of his Fame and celebrity, it makes him sad that everywhere he goes, somebody just pulls out a video camera and records him. He doesn't feel good about his Fame. He doesn't like it. It makes him sad. That person was as happy as you will ever see him. Happier than when he won the Championship, because at the buzzer, it's the greatest feeling in sports, he hits a 40-footer.

So get me the stat of the day music, please. Start of the day, start of the day. It is the start of the day.

Has missed five shots in his last four games.

No way. Five shots in his last four games. It's impossible. One of them was at the buzzer last night, and he didn't miss that one either. Half-court. It was from Half-court in Stan Van Gundi's analysis was just, You've got to be shitting me. I was arguing back here earlier that I think Jokich might actually be the best center I've ever seen play basketball.

Not that you've seen. You've never seen maybe ever. No, I mean, I saw Shaq, right? Shaq was pretty amazing, but Jokich is better, right?

Had that take over the summer. Yeah, he's the greatest center ever. Sorry. Yes, move on.

Last four games. Nothing to see here. All right.

Including last night, 13 to 16:00, Monday night, 6:00 to 7:00, Friday night, 9:00 of Thursday night, 11 of 11. Put it on the poll, please. Is Jokić 10 times better than Wilt?

I'm still surprised.

Dan Lebetard.

This is largely performative, but we need to establish him in some reasonable way.

Everyone was enjoying them. I'm still fine. It's still not time to talk everyone with this story where he pays more than you do.

Stugats. I always like leaving Dan on high because he's so vulnerable, I just unfairly fade down the chicken so he doesn't leave him by himself.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

We are just days away from the final College football game of the season. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm going to be taking shots of caffeine on Monday because the game starts at 7:30, which is not as late as the Sugar Bowl was, but we'll see about that.

Are you actively rooting against Michigan? Greg Cody came in here- Because they're cheaters, you mean? Greg Cody came in here and said, We are all Huskies now. Washington's style of play, wildly fun, but they're going to get beat up inside because Michigan plays inside, and Washington's defense has had trouble all year.

I don't know if necessarily that's true. I do think that more people will be rooting for Washington as casual fans than Michigan because I think, A, Michael Penix is He's one of my favorite college football players of probably my lifetime. He's so much fun to watch, and he is just dropping dimes to those receivers. They are fun to watch. They've had a chip on their shoulder, and so has Michigan for other reasons, but they haven't blown out teams, and they've played a really tough schedule, so that's partially why. But I think they felt a little disrespected, and now they're coming into the 15th game of the season, in which they haven't lost a game yet, with the opportunity to knock off Michigan. Whereas Michigan has had this Michigan versus the thing going on all season because of the recruiting violations, and then because of the Connor Stalians thing, and because they feel like- We're all looking for who did this. Right. They feel like we're really good, too. It's not our fault that our non-conference schedule is so easy and no one really watched us until week nine.

But Michigan's us against the world is entirely self-created, is it not? But now it's also true now.

Well, they become hateable because of it.

Yeah. Pennex is a type of athlete, I think, lovable underdog that everyone likes his story. By now, is familiar with it. I think they'll rally around. Dan, you have not lost your fastball, by the way, because you had a sports take that genuinely agitated me because you just blanket said, Well, now the SEC is just going to be running rough shot of this. And without zero sense of irony, The two Big Ten schools just knocked out two SEC schools. Oh, no.

But because I believe the best SEC team, this is a controversial take.

Yeah, especially on the heels of two teams in the SEC, let's count Texas there, losing to two Big Ten schools.

Mike, I watched Ohio State, Michigan, and Penn State play against each other this year, and that style of football, barbaric though it is, primitive though it is, does not feel to me as big and fast as what they're doing in the South. Now, we will see over the next 10 years when Texas and Oklahoma do this Southern football thing of playing against beefy football teams from up north, we are going to see whether Michigan gets crowned on playing tough guy football up front. But when Michigan was playing Penn State, both of them were just trying to run the ball into each other in the third and fourth quarter. I don't want to watch that as football.

There is a solid play, but that solid play did just do it against Bama. You're forgetting the teams that are coming into the Big Ten as well, Oregon, Washington, who you love, they're a Big Ten school. Us, C. Stylistically, the conference schedule is going to be amazing.

I feel like it's even more bizarre now to link schools together by their conference because who are we counting? It does Washington counts as a Big Ten school now, and Texas counts as... I don't understand how we're doing that. But I think Michigan was able to win the game because they flashed in the passing game in a way that they haven't been able to do because of, I think, various reasons in their last four or five games. They haven't had to also. That JJ McCarthy play where he just chucked it up and was able to find the receiver downfield, I think you might have seen that. On a tip ball, by the way. Yeah, on Twitter this week, it was going reviral again. Those types of plays were what made the difference in the game, I thought, because Alabama absolutely controlled the line of scrimage for periods of the game in which I thought they were a field goal away or one drive away from just shutting Michigan out in the fourth quarter, and they weren't able to do it. It was really close. I don't think you can make any- I felt like Michigan should have won by more.

I thought, yeah, I don't think you're... I saw a different first half. I know the second half, the Alabama's trenches settled in, but I thought early on it was pretty clear that Michigan was a better team in the trenches. But either way, let's relive this wonderful game that Lucy... Where is Lucy? Is she just missing?

She took the week off. She wept more than she has ever wept during a football game.

So this is bereavemently because she became so emotional about this game?

Who's in charge of that? I was expecting to talk to her this week.

We're allowed to take vacation.

I think it works hard. I suspect that we'll find out why she's messing in this video.

Are we doing this whole thing again? Oh, Lucy's not here. She's on I will not allow this with Lucy. You did it with me. Will not allow this with Lucy.

Just doing a tease to a video in which we all find out together why she's not here. Here it is.

Hi, Dan. We are here at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. It is so beautiful out. I'm hoping it's the game of the year, but I got to be honest with you, Michigan fans, freak me out. They scare me. It got off the airplane. It was Michigan fans everywhere in the airport. I felt immediately unsafe. So I brought on some security. Mike Golic Jr.

Lucy, happy to help.

I've got a lot of with the people wearing Maze and blue, so should be able to help out there.

Unfortunately, I only have experience getting my ass kicked by the people from Tuscaloosa, so not going to be much help if they try and come.

It's okay. I've seen I will lose by 30 at the Rose Bowl before, too. It's never fun. It's never fun. Are you nervous about today at all? Not at all. Not even a little bit?

No, roll tight. Roll tight?

There's no reason to be nervous at all. What's your prediction?

I think Alabama is going to win by at least 20.

At least 20?

At minimum.

How many NFL interviews do you think Jim Harbaugh takes this offseason?

Two.

Raiders and Chargers.

Does it hurt your feelings when he does that?

At this point, no. It's like having a girlfriend who's threatening to leave you. It's like, at this point, just do it. Just do it.

Connor Stallian deserves a statue outside of the stadium. Do you agree?

I honestly do think Stallions probably grew up with the dream of making an impact on Michigan football. So I don't know if he gets a statue, but kudos to him because if you told a little kid, like me, when I was a Michigan fan growing up in diapers, you're going to have this big of a name and impact in Michigan football, I'd probably be like, I'm going to go make that happen.

I think that Stallions really just made his dream come true.

So yeah, good for him, right?

That is the best way I've heard anyone describe what Connor Stallions has done. He made his dreams come true. He did.

He made his dreams come true. That's what America's about.

He's the ultimate Michigan man.

We love the Pac-12.

We're Pac-12 guys ourselves.

Sko Buff, Sko Stanford, Go Cards. That's what we love. That's what we do.

Are you here like, protesting? Are you trying to raise awareness?

When I think of the Pac-12, there are five things I think of, and it's brotherhood, tradition, family, sound learning, and championships.

Thank you so much for your service. Truly.thank you.Thank you. You're changing the world, my guy.Thank.

You.love you guys. Hey, Roll Tide. Let's go.

Roll Tide Money Line. Yeah.

We're going all the way to Nattie. We're going all the way to Houston, and we're going to carry that trophy. Roll Tide.

Why are you carrying Tide in toilet paper? Because it's Roll Tide, baby.

Because it's Roll Tide. Roll Tide.

I should have seen that one coming.

That actually makes an overwhelming amount of sense. I was lost. It's chaos. I've lost control.

This is what happens when Lucy's off the mic.

Do you watch the Dan Lepetard show with Studio God?

I do not.

Okay. Do you know what it is?

I've heard it before, and I'm embarrassed.

I don't know it. That's okay. Can you give me an explanation? I barely knew it, and I worked there. Okay.

You might want to learn more than me then.

Do you watch the Dan Lepetard show with Studio God? Absolutely.

Every freaking day. I listen to it. That counts. I recognize you.

Who's your favorite person on the show? Answer wisely.

Billy Gill. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Billy Gill.

Is Taylor ever on the screen?

Yeah, Taylor is on his... Taylor's a star. Taylor.

He deserves more FaceTime, I think.

I really agree with that as well.

Can we rename the show to the Gunner Geiger and Dan Leonard and Studio Gotts show?

Who's Dan Leonard? Dan Leonard.

Dan Leonard. I'm like, Dan, I got a rose.

I broke it already, but it's still fine. We're still good. That was maybe my favorite college football game I've ever been to. I don't know what it is about the Rose Bowl when Christian McCaffery and Iowa are playing. It is the most magical place on Earth. I swear to God. Like, Disneyland bottles up what they find here, and then they bring it down to Anaheim. The atmosphere, I don't know if I've ever heard a crowd. I sound so like, old man. I don't know if I've ever heard a crowd that… That's how I feel, though, because it was insane. Michigan fans were crazy. Alabama fans were less crazy, but they were still into it. I don't know what they were doing at the end. Bama, that was questionable. Some of that play call and brother, what do I know? What do I know? I'm just on GenCFB/Folkgirls, whatever it's called these days. I had something so cute planned, something so concise. This is the second time we film this because the first time I was like, We went too long, and I'm still just rambling again. But that was awesome. This is the best sport.

I don't care what anybody says. Fight me. It's the best sport. Also, I'm not coming back to Miami this week. I don't want to. I'm going to go see Steely Dan in concert instead. So if you need me, I'm busy going to see the Dan. If Steely's allowed to do it with the Dan, I should be able to do it with Steely Dan.

Lou Gatz.

Yeah. Lucy battered by the energy of the Rose Bowl. Just battered by it delirious.

So not working.

So just not working because college football was the energy of that was too much for her.

I think going to Steely Dan counts as working. Mm-hmm. Stu Gatz does, too.

Steely Dan Leonard. Mike Ryan is about to just get some Steely Dan over here as I, again, vigorously defend the controversial take that Georgia's great at football, and I think they are better than everyone else. The reason Alabama beat them is Because their coaches-Do it. Kind of amazing. What nick Saban has done, obvious. Both things very obvious. I also saw, and I know the bowl games don't mean anything because all of this is different now. I saw Lane Kiffin ravage James Franklin. Penn State, I was told, is the best defense in football. At the top of that conference, what I have seen for 10 years is Penn State. Michigan State snuck in there for a year. We gave Mel Tucker a bunch of money. But the style of football that Michigan and Penn State and Ohio State have played. Ohio State has elevated what that has been because they can win with their third string quarterback when they get Urban Meyer. But the professional football has been played at the top of the SEC by Georgia and Alabama for the last 10 years with- Don't exclude LSU either.

I mean, taking any result and projecting it, yeah, they had one of the best defenses in the nation, and Manny Diaz is now coaching Duke. Bowl games are weird like that. The SEC is a great conference. I'm not arguing that, but to say that they're going to run rough shot is ignoring what's happened to the landscape of college football when the Big Ten is adding the likes of Oregon, USA, Washington. Again, next year, there's going to be a rematch, and it's going to be a part of the conference schedule in the Big Ten, Michigan versus Washington. I think it's an arms race between those two conferences at this point.

I think what's cool about this matchup is that it's not two teams at the top of the talent composite list. These are two teams with largely not the big five-star names that have been coached really well by two excellent head coaches, and now we get to watch them play each other, and maybe it'll be the start of a new rivalry in the Big Ten.

How does Lucy get a whole week off?