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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the deadly car rental studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life at. I'm Chris Hoggett and hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Boloney, and we are excited to be with you and we are ready to take your call. Now, listen, one of the things I know without a shadow of a doubt is that progress is not an accident.

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It's something that you've got to push Push-Pull scrape and dig to get to. No matter where you are right now. And life is full of setbacks. Life will happen. Things will knock you down, things will knock you off track. But here's what I know to be true. A setback can be a setup for a comeback. We like you like that one tweet. You got an opportunity we can dig and push forward. And I'm excited to be in here where Dr.

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Deloney we are. We always get some calls digging in on our feelings and emotions when you show up.

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Hey, man, we're getting to the uncomfortable things now. Life is too messy right now. People are running too many different directions. Life's coming at us a hundred miles an hour and it's time that we stop, exhale and we start getting some help on the complex stuff. Man, let's do it.

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All right. Well, this is the time. If you're out there and you've got a question I want to hear from you. The number to call is triple eight eight two five five two two five oh. Go ahead and put that in your phone, people. OK, it's eight eight eight eight 255 225. Kelly standing by, she's ready to take the call. Just give us a call. If you got something going on in life, you got something going on with relationships.

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You're frustrated, irritated or confused on what to do. Dr. Delaney will give you some guidance. And if you've got a money question or you want to know how do I get out of debt, how do I begin to build wealth, what are some things you can do to help yourself? Well, guess what? I'm going to try to help you there as well. Follow us on Social. You can find John Deloney at John Boloney on Facebook, YouTube and Instagram.

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You can find this show at Ramsey Show. And don't forget, we also have a YouTube group that is lively and fiery as well. And so find it send us your questions on social. We'd love to talk with you. All right. We're going to get to the phone line. We've got Joseph in Seattle. Joseph, how can John and I help you? Hi. I have a question about in-laws oh, in-laws are outlaws. Which one do we call them?

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A little boat. All right. Oh, we've got another Switzerland. Joseph, go ahead.

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So we just became debt free, so we were very excited about that.

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Yeah, but our I guess the question question is about in-laws kind of over gifting specifically when they are deeply in debt with with a kind of a big hole with a little shovel. And it gets more frustrating the more they give them just because we can see what it's doing to their future. And if there something that we can do or that kind of you just shut up and try to be appreciative and show them that we appreciate it, even though we're not, you know, pleased with with a gift on gift.

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Right.

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Are there any grandkids involved there?

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We just had our first. OK. All right. Congrats. So give me an example. What are some gifts they're giving you? So there's this kind of little things like once we have the baby, I'll get a foot massage or little things like that at Christmas, it's usually about 800 to 1000 dollars just in things. Sometimes things we need. But, you know, we're saving up for or OK, whether it's a new kitchen table or.

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Well, how do you plan how were you aware of their financial situation?

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They're pretty open about it. So, OK, we hear about it.

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So what you know, do you feel guilty when you get these gifts? I mean, do you do you feel.

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Tell me what you're what you're working through, because I guess the reason I'm asking that is put their math aside. These gifts are doing something to you. What is it? Yeah, I guess I guess I haven't really thought about that where you have, because you said if you're alluding to guilt.

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Yeah, you're alluding to the guilt that that because you said they don't really not in a situation to give it. And my question would be with you that. Go ahead. Yeah, I think it's just that we we can see that they're they're hurting themselves, their future and, you know, we're going to feel responsible because we will have had, you know, X amount of dollars worth of worth of their worth of that debt that they're right there.

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What was the game changing moment for you, Joseph, when you saw money a little bit different and realized that wasn't your friend? What was it? Was it the total money makeover? Was it the show? What caused you to open your eyes?

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I think it was a total money makeover. Have you gifted that to your in-laws or.

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We have not have you talked to them about money at all? We we've talked to him, but it's kind of well, but that's just something that we're working on and. Right.

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You know, it's hey, hey, Joseph, your in-laws are grown ups and they can do what they want to. And you're in a unique moment to decide whether and this is you being a grown up. You're you're a new dad. Now, this is the rest of your life right now. You're fully in grown up mode. Now, you and your wife get to decide, A, do you value relationship over being right? Do you value acceptance of a gift as complicity?

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And no one's going to be able to do that math for you. But you and your wife, you're lucky enough to make that value statement together and you can recognize it.

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Some parents realize and we didn't say, I love you enough, we didn't we have some sort of built in parent gift along the way. And the way we're going to feel good about ourselves moving forward is to buy grandkids gifts. We're going to overdue Christmas. Yep. And is that right? Technically, no. The spirit in the heart behind it. I get it. I understand it. I'm not going to beat somebody up over that.

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But at the end of the day, man, you only run the risk in my opinion. Chris, tell me I'm wrong. Only run the risk, in my opinion of alienating your in-laws that kind of love you. That's exactly right.

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Here's the bottom line. You have kids and you've got in-laws. You know how grandparents are with grandbabies, right? You can't stop that train. No, OK, you get throat chopped and headlock messing around with that. What they can do, Joseph and his wife can do is say, hey, mom and dad, we appreciate you. You know, stuff doesn't equal love for us. Here's a copy of the Total Money Makeover book, because we really want you to have a financial future along with us.

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But here's the deal. Only spend one hundred dollars on us right now. What you do with the grandbabies is your business. Right? But just only give them up. Give them a limit. You know, now, if they choose, like you said, to follow that, so be it. Right. But they can also choose not to or they could say, hey, grandparents are going to be going to spend on the grandkids.

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I like this this year. Let's do no gifts this year. Let's write letters to each other. We're going to read them out loud and how awkward, uncomfortable it's going to be. We're going to tell each other that we love each other. Chris is laughing in here. No, no. He's going to do I'm feeling this. I have feelings down below me. Seven. I have eight of them.

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Now we're going to tell each other how much we love each other. We're going to show it. We're going to we're going to do a activity Christmas. We're going to do activity birthdays. And you lead by we're not giving gifts anymore. No. And then you offer that as an extension to them.

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You know what? We've just hit on the bottom line of having a conversation being let's no longer allow it to be this secret frustration or secret awkwardness. Let's be open enough to have a conversation with them. That's right. And express love.

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And I can only change my gift giving behavior not there. So maybe I'm going to encourage them moving forward. I cannot control other grown ups, John. Boloney. I meant especially not your inflation outlaw's. No, don't do it. All right, everybody. Boy, we don't started off on the right foot. I'm wide awake, Thelonious, to solve and play it on the phone and call us people. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. You know, I don't sit back and just trust that politicians have my best interests in mind, which is why if I had student loans, I would not be waiting around for the government to save me right now, splash financial as some of the lowest rates they've ever had.

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If you have private student loans, get your rates down. Now, no one's going to fix this for you. Take control of your own money. Go to splash financial dotcom slash Ramsey. That's how they will know you're one of our listeners. Splash financial dot com slash Ramsey. Hello, everyone, welcome back. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I tell you what I love, we got people in the lobby. I just shook the hand of a dude to make me feel like a toddler.

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He got a big ol hand. I got a little bitty tiny hand now. And it's just nice guys, good families. And if you're ever in this area, come visit us. Swing by. We got the Baker Street Cafe over there, some stuff that I baked. OK, that's a lot. Didn't make anything. All right. But there's some stuff over there. Melissa Wilson has baked it and prepared it. We love to have you come visit the bookstore and see us.

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We'd love to see your face. You always it in social media questions. I asked you to send the band and that's exactly what you've done. Right now. Deloney is out pissing me in the questions he has coming in. So I'm a little offended you're going to get there, Chris, but it's OK working on. I'm not hey, I'm learning contentment. But I'm going to give you this question, John. This is from David and this is from the Ramsey Baby Steps community.

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By the way, if you didn't know that that community exists, if you are working any of the baby steps or if you've done it all, you've got an opportunity to plug in and have community. You can check that out. A big Branscombe. But this question comes from David. He says, With schools wanting to go back isolated, how does this affect children's mental health? Oh, this is big. That's a big.

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So schools are right now are in a no win situation. And I'm calling it a no win and no blame. It just is. And so kind of cutting through all the silliness. There is no question, kids, they call it the nerd word as they call regulate kids do not have the ability to stand on their own two feet with identity, with myself am I loved. They are always ping ponging off the people in their in their world. OK, that's why having parents who look their kids in the eye and talk to them and read to them and walk with them and listen to them is so important because kids are getting feedback from the environment.

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This is going to be tough for kids. This is really going to be tough. Going back and figuring out how to talk to a teacher with a mask on is going to be hard. I don't know a way around that because kids are also carriers of covid depending on where you listen what what news source you listen to and what doctors listen to, it's just going to be hard. So I think schools are going to have to be hyper intentional about listening, about eye contact, about journaling, about talking through things with their kids.

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And they're going to have to be hyper intentional about helping parents have tools to process the school day when they go home.

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Well, that's a good point. And here's the thing. You can't pass on what you don't possess. That's right. And so as a parent, I think it's also important to realize, hey, how have you been approaching this corporate situation? You know, how have you been talking about it outwardly? And I think it's important, John, to also have age appropriate conversations with these young people.

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Absolutely pretending it doesn't exist. Yeah, it creates a tension in your home. And kids are the best about feeling tension and looking in the mirror and saying it must be my fault because they can't regulate themselves. They're always looking. So if they feel distanced from a parent, the kid says it's my fault. What what did I do to screw this up?

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What did I do to make my parent I want to talk to me or make my friends or my teacher? And so it's always communicating in in the most age appropriate, but intentionally with kids that this is a messy situation. We love you. We love you, we love you. And show it, show it, show it. Show it. That's good.

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David, thank you so much for coming today. And again, if you all are out there and you've got a question, find John on social media at John Deloney. You can find me at Chris Hogan 360. We'd love to talk to you. All right. We're going to get back to the phones in again. I want to give you the number eight eight two five five two two five. Again, that's eight eight eight eight two five five two two five callers.

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I know you all have questions and thoughts or things you'd love some guidance on. We'd love to help you. All right. Next up, we've got Ashley. We're going to go down to Florida and Fort Myers. Ashley, how can John and I help you?

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Hi, how are you guys? It's a pleasure to talk to you. Well, thank you very, very much. Thank you for calling.

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So my husband and I have been in business for about a year, but we want to make sure we're scaling our business correctly. A little bit of background. Currently, my husband works full time under somebody for a detail company at a dealership, and that's basically what we based the business off of, hoping in the future to, you know, manage contracts with dealerships and collision centers, OK, to run their day to day. And we're at the point to where our side hustle is actually making more than the full time.

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And before covid, we actually went out to different dealerships to say, hey, this is what we do. This is our pricing structure. These are the problems that we can solve for you. But we have not received any callbacks. So I guess my bigger question is, how do we better approach potential clients to get the.

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Yes, OK, so you've went and you've met with them, provided them the price list, and then you went back and you were waiting. For them to call you. Correct. Yeah, well, you forgot the next step. So this was like tennis. You ever played tennis? Yes. OK, so if I hit the ball in your court, what do you have to do? Got to hit it back and then I hit it where?

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Actually, yeah, maybe work with me here now. OK, so I hit it back to you. Here's the deal. You hit the ball into their court by giving them the priceless. Right, and they didn't hit it back. So what do you got to do? You got you got to go find the ball. So I would just say pick up the phone proactively, call them and follow up. Make them tell, you know. And this is a very difficult thing because we are so sensitive nowadays where we will rationalize in our heads that, oh, they must not want to do business with us, they didn't call.

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So they didn't they don't like me. They don't like my business. And that's not true. Call them. People are busy. Things are buzzing, ringing and ringing. Get on the phone. Get in touch with the general manager, whoever that decision maker is, talk with them about the price list. Ask them for their business.

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OK, OK. And so that proactiveness, it's going to feel weird, OK, I have trained many salespeople over over the years. It's going to feel weird. You're thinking you're bothering them. You're not. What you're doing is having a level of persistence so you can serve them. So what I want you to do is all the people you handed the thing to make a call list, call them. If they don't return your call, go see them.

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OK, do be proactive enough that they tell, you know, and even if they tell you no, I want you to hear this phrase, is it going to change your world when you hear, no, I want you to hear. Not yet, because that's really what it boils down to. They don't know they need you yet. So I'm going to be persistent. I'm going to stay on the forefront of their minds. I'm going to be proactive because my product and service has value.

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And I think if you do that, it'll help your business stand apart.

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So you said something, Chris, that I haven't thought about for a minute. So there's this there's this nerd word, a nerd concept in psychology called fundamental attribution error. That's when I get inside your head and decide for myself why you did what you just did. Right. Right. So in a sales word world, I put my my pricing list on your table. I say here's my value and I walk away. You don't call me. Then I get to decide to get in your head and say, we didn't not calling you because you're a loser and you're an idiot and this is a stupid business and what a failure moron you are.

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Or I can just go knock back on the door and say, hey, I dropped my pricing list off. How are things going? What a waste of energy time we spend in other people's heads.

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That's right. Well, and the other psychological phrase on that is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. Because now you didn't get the business because you already expected not to.

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Because I already imagine that you told me I didn't get the business because I'm an idiot. That's right. And then I become an idiot. That's right.

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So it's one of those things where, again, don't assume you'll do it with your kids and not do it with your with your spouse.

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Don't work. That's right. Call them and make them say, hey, you know what? Right now we're good. We don't need it. And I say, okay, you know what? I appreciate you letting me know that I'm going to follow up with you here in a couple of weeks and just to check in. And so just be bear with me here, because I know what we can do for you and I know you'll love it. But I'm going to check in with you every couple of weeks.

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I'm going to email you and touch base. But if you ever need me, call me. I love it. Go be courageous that you're standing up for yourself. And what you're not doing is just taking the status quo.

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How much do we walk through a day, Chris? It just hit me. I'm sitting here. How much do I walk here a day? Just imagining what other people are saying to me. Oh, and why they're saying it. It's not real. No, it's not. They're not even thinking about me. These dealers are probably thinking about trying not to close their business because covid, they're busy, they're busy, they're busy.

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And unfortunately, I think, you know, you've hit on this before, that voice on our back of our heads.

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Something meaningful can be it can be an encouraging thing or it can be a limiter. And the threat the danger of it is, John, is nobody even knows. You're telling yourself that just pipes in all day, pipes unfiltered. It really is. And so I think we get to choose the track. I know we do. So I want you to choose from positive encouraging words for yourself. I'm not worried about what the world is saying to you.

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What do you think about you? And I want you to play that track time and time again. Remember, you can if you will. My mama told me that a long time ago. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I heard a statistic recently that absolutely blew my mind, 43 percent of Americans are not protecting their loved ones with life insurance. This drives me crazy, people. What are you thinking? Taking care of your family has to be a top priority.

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That's what term life insurance is all about. Regardless of where you are in the baby steps, you've got to make this a priority. And that's why I talk about Zander Insurance every day. They keep it simple and make sure they find you the best rates out there. Go to Zander Dotcom or call 800 three, five, six, 42, 82. But you have to take the first step. That's Zander Dotcom. Hello, everyone, this is The Dave Ramsey Show.

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I'm Chris. Then hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Deloney, and we are excited to be back with you and want you to know if you've got a question. I want you to call us. The number to call is eight 855 225. Again, that's 888 five two two five. All right.

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Let's go to Blind's dotcom question of the Day. Blind's dot com. You can find out for yourself by Blind's. Dotcom is the number one online retailer of custom window covering. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more.

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You can use the promo code, Ramsey, to get the best deal. Rules and restrictions apply. All right.

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Here we go. Today's question comes from Jack in California. He visits Dave Ramsey dot com to ask the following, how should I deal with burnout from work and debt? I'm our only income. My wife is a stay at home mom due to depression and anxiety issues, not allowing her to work. I find myself to be exhausted and checking out mentally at work and at home due to the stress of the debt. Any advice would be appreciated. Who?

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There's a lot and a and I want to catch one thing. It says my wife is a stay at home wife due to depression. Anxiety. That's true. Stay at home mom, which is a different, different thing. So a couple of things here, Chris, and I'd love to get your wisdom. Dealing with work and burnout, just being exhausted, work, debt, all the responsibilities also I can hear in this question, I love my wife, man.

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She's not doing good. She's staying at home to there's just a lot in counseling. We call it leakage, which means you can deal with it or it will deal with you and it usually finds its way out. I know it's a gross metaphor. It will deal with you and will find its way out in real inopportune times. And so, Jack, this is a moment when you reach out to a pastor, when you reach out to a professional counselor and you sit down and talk about what you are personally struggling with, what are your debts?

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That's when we have Financial Peace University. There's some there's a schedule plan there, work. You get in contact with our good friend Ken Coleman to find out what your work situation, find professionals, find experts in your field and get some connection there. The second thing is I want to reach out to stay at home. Wife who is struggling with depression and anxiety is not allowing her to work. I don't like that language.

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And I know I hope it doesn't sound controversial.

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I don't like it when people take on depression and anxiety as an identity, as a way of being, as a future future prediction of the way their life is going to roll out.

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These are responses.

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These are biological responses, their personal responses to challenges that you can overcome. But you got to put in the hard work.

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Depression and anxiety are not diseases and they are not identities.

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Well, John, you actually on an article that's on Dave Ramsey Dotcom wrote something on how to deal with anxiety. Right.

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Listen, the times we're living in right now, there ain't I don't care how tough no strong you are emotionally. We've all had a period of some serious anxiety, my friend.

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I walked in today and said today he's been nuts. And to Mr. Christopher Hogan, sitting right next to me. Right. If you are not feeling anxious, you should probably go see a psychiatrist. Something's not right.

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You know, what do you do you feel. Oh, you feel it. You got to get connected. OK, you've got to acknowledge it. All right. You've got to sit down with your loved ones, whether that's your husband Jack here, whether that's a community that you can be vulnerable with. And you've got to start being open and you've got to decide, I don't want this to be the rest of my life. Got you. And when you make that decision and depression makes that hard, right.

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Depression simply means whatever's going on in your life is your fault and it's going to be this way forever. What happened to you is your fault and it's always going to be this way. And I want to tell folks who are struggling, that's a lie. It's not true. And there are professionals. There are mental health counselors, there are physicians. There are folks who can help you get from where you are to where you're going to go. But I don't want someone to be resigned to.

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This is just the way there's always going to be.

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Well, and so that's the reality on the anxiety, the depression, reaching out, getting some help, as Dr. Donly just described. Don't stay to it yourself. You guys need a counselor. You need to get plugged in to your church. And I would tell you this, Jack, when it comes to the dollar amount, you didn't get in debt overnight and so you're not going to get out of debt overnight. So don't have an unrealistic expectation.

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I'm going to tell you right now, I could do a whole segment on that unrealistic expectations. What that can do is defeat you for where you ever get started. You can pay off this debt. You can get this thing done. I'm going to tell you right now, all you gotta do is get plugged in. We've got the Ramsey plus free trial going on right now. Everybody's gone through some tough times. People are hurting, John. What Maxwell says, change is inevitable.

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Growth is optional. And so what we have to do is say never again, never again. I'm not going to put myself in this situation. Am I going to feel like this emotionally when it comes to money? Am I going to lose sleep worrying about X, Y, Z, debt or bill? I'm going to get a game plan that's actually going to work. And so we've launched something new, this all new membership that gives you our best money product you can learn through all nine Lessons of Financial Peace University, our proven plan to win with money that's not even debatable.

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You can budget with premium features of every dollar and you can also track your progress with the new Baby Steps app so you can start your free Ramsey plus trial. Right now, all you have to do is take the step and you never again have to walk through a crisis without having some confidence. So here's what you do. You can do this. And to get your free trial, I want you to Ramsey. Plus, text the word trial t are A-L to three three seven eight nine.

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That's text the word trial to three three seven eight nine. And you can get plugged in. And I'm going to tell you, John, not only do you have an opportunity to have access to community because you're in with other people, I think isolation is one of the most dangerous things that we have going on right now. You've got the anxiety. You've got all this stress and tension, but the isolation not being able to be connected with people is real.

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I think the chief the chief enemy of our time is loneliness. And that's pretty covid man that was going on before covid.

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When you look at the diseases of despair, the average lifespan in the U.S. going down yet again, we. Are lonely seeing ourselves to death. What do you mean, diseases of despair? What are those?

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It is organ diseases, addictions. What is it? Addiction, organ diseases, suicide. It's this idea that I don't belong. I'm stuck here by myself. Every alarm we have in our brains are going off saying, connect, connect, connect, connect. And everything in our world is saying it's all about you. Just get your friends on your little digital box.

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You don't need to go to church. You don't need to be involved in for your after school act. You don't need that stuff. Just go in your room, shut the door and you're all you need. And that is a fundamental mistruth. It's a it's a lie and it's killing this man.

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And then you end up with an over addicted, overspent over exhausted society man. And then something comes along like covid and just throws a wrench in the middle of the NASCAR track and all the cars pile up behind us.

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Well, and then you get this almost political or whatever justification to isolate. Right. Because we've been told, stay home, stay at home, don't do X, Y or Z.

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Yeah, right. You know what? The chief the chief demon right now is other people. So that's how it's being made out to look. That's right. Right. Right.

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Yeah, but but as from from, you know, is that little kid going to make me sick? Is my neighbor going to make me sick? Is that woman walking by me on the sidewalk? So we are just living in a spun out, exhausted moment when you feel exhausted. I love what Jack asks here. Blind's dotcom. You're getting your money's worth on this ad today. When you when you find yourself exhausted, when you find yourself with people that you love and you start checking up mentally, that's a big signal.

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They need to go sit down with somebody, sit down the professional, find a pastor, find a friend you can be vulnerable with and say, I'm getting I'm starting to teeter on the edge here. I got to intentionally reconnect now.

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And the key word in that is intentional. And I think it's a matter of reaching out, being clear. All right, listen, I got a question on so short.

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I'm glad somebody reached out and cared about one one Husham out. Baloney.

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But here it is. This one says, I'm 23 years old. I make between 80 and 100000 a year depending on the amount of work I have. I made a huge mistake, bought a super expensive truck with a high interest rate. I realized I made a mistake. I want to take action to get myself out of the situation. I oh, get this.

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Sixty two thousand dollars on the truck. Oh goodness gracious.

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The trade in is forty five thousand. What would be my best route to get a cheaper vehicle. Well then the first route is a the trade in value is trade. And I want you to look to see what the sale offer is. If you can sell this bad boy for closer to fifty to fifty five now you just need a bridge loan to get yourself out of that payment. Listen, what's done is done, but now you can get it fixed.

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Keep pushing brother. Find a skateboard and ride it if you have to. It doesn't matter. Just get this payment out of your life. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello, everyone, I'm Chris Ochan and hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Boloney. And I'm going to tell you something. We have had some doozy calls already at the social media, is doing an amazing job. You all are firing off the questions, whether it's from our Ramsey baby steps community, whether it's from John Delany's Twitter or my Instagram.

[00:30:21]

I don't got a Twitter. OK, I've got the Instagram. OK, my bad, my Twitters.

[00:30:26]

I get up on a hill out here, just yell real loud. That's that's not something that we just talk to you about.

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That turned out not long ago. So just hush about it. But listen, you can find it. Just send us send us your questions or you can just make it easy. Do it at Ramsey Show and you can direct it to one of us. All right. We're going back to the phones. Suzanne is out in Las Vegas. Suzanne, how can we help you today?

[00:30:47]

Hi, Chris. Hi, Dr. Drew. It's such a pleasure to speak to you both.

[00:30:51]

Well, thank you. It's an honor to talk to you, too.

[00:30:54]

Thank you. So I have a question about baby steps for I'm going to be 43 next month and I'm getting ready to be able to start baby steps for good. And I'm very confused. My company also is the traditional for a one K as far as a Roth IRA, OK? And my understanding is very limited about this. But I do know Financial Peace University. So I have my books and I'm kind of trying to go through all of these funds, the investment elections of where to put the money.

[00:31:26]

And nothing really tells me what's a mutual fund or, you know, like I can see a growth in income line and it grows, but I don't see aggressive growth and international and I don't really understand that. OK, and I also have a question about with the Roth IRA, the fifteen percent of my income, should I be put in? So I roughly make about sixty thousand a year in my face. And then I also get paid overtime and bonus and that fluctuates based on workload.

[00:31:55]

So I was just using a sixty thousand days for now, just four whole numbers. I was thinking, you know, since the Roth IRAs I believe in twenty twenty have a 6000 back contribution. Should I be doing that. Six thousand max in my IRA and the remaining five percent of my income into the traditional for one care. How should I work that.

[00:32:16]

OK, here's the deal with this and you I'm proud of you because you have definitely dug in and you're starting to get a feel for this. And I agree. There's so many terms. And the financial world. Does your company offer you a match? OK, so it's kind of not a nice one. So they match you 50 cents on the dollar, OK, six percent. OK.

[00:32:39]

All right. And so you said the company offers a traditional 401k and also a Roth IRA. I want to clarify something. Did you mean they offer a traditional 401k and a Roth 401k?

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It's it's it's that Roth IRA.

[00:32:57]

OK, I want you to double check with them, because if it's a Roth 401K, that's the route I want you to go. OK, it's a Roth simply means it's after tax dollars, a regular for wonkiest pretax dollars. So the regular money you put in the 401k, when you get ready to pull it out at 59 and a half, you're going to have to pay taxes on it. OK, but with a Roth 401k, because it's after tax dollars, it's all going to grow tax free.

[00:33:24]

So here's the reality. If you have the Roth option as a Roth 401k, that's the route I want you to go. Now, I have got a free investing guide at my website, Krischan 360 Dotcom, that'll break down kind of all the investing terms as well as the asset classes of the mutual funds. So I want you to I want you to go there. Chris Hogan, 360 Dotcom. But then here's the other thing. If they don't have a Roth 401K, what I want you to do is invest up to the match, then go from the match over to a Roth IRA.

[00:33:58]

That's probably not going to get you to 15 percent. Then you would go back to your 401k for the additional time. So the key is, is that I want to get to that 15 percent. And you're right, looking at the growth stock, mutual funds, different names under different 401k, is there going to be called different things? So here's the beauty of it. You don't have to go it alone. All you have to do is reach out to a smart Vesterbro, bring in your information from your 401k.

[00:34:24]

Sit down with them and they will help you identify how to invest the way we talk about those asset classes and keep you on your way so you don't have to do it alone. And so, Suzanne, again, go to Krischan 360 dot com. You can get that investing guide and then reach out. I've also got a dream team button on my website that allow you to find a smart Vesterbro and get you on your way. I'm proud of you.

[00:34:46]

I'm proud of you for growing your knowledge. I'm proud of you for seeing your dreams of what it is you want to accomplish and you're pushing forward. So that's fantastic. Thank you very, very much. All right. We're going to keep on the phone lines. I've got Kevin on the line. Kevin, what's your question for Dr. Dulaney?

[00:35:02]

All right. So I'm more of a family question than a financial one. First of all, we're huge fans of the plan, so we are trying to navigate some family things. So my wife and I got married a couple of years ago and her family and her mom specifically is very much an enabler and it's become pretty hard. So her sister, who's 30 lives in the house, has a very fluid job and just met this guy who's thirty six, who doesn't have a job.

[00:35:30]

Granted, he's got some health issues, but there's some other factors there. So we decided to speak out. We were looking in the Bible and we just felt like, you know, we probably should say something about this situation because we don't want them to get into a life of poverty. That's not fun for anybody. And we just don't want someone to have to live that way. And that has a way out of that, you know, through a little bit of time.

[00:35:50]

And they want to get married really quick. They've been dating for five months now and they're ready to get married. And so we're just trying to figure out, I guess, what that looks like. How do we respond in love? We went and talked to her about it and she attacked us verbally and then brought her mother into it. And her mother now won't let it go. And her mother's very angry, has made that clear. And now we're just kind of at a point where they text us in the college.

[00:36:14]

So I'm just not sure where to go from here.

[00:36:16]

So this one's pretty easy. You can you and your wife can decide we don't want to do Thanksgiving and Christmas with her side of the family anymore. You can decide. I don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore or y'all can decide.

[00:36:39]

I wouldn't I wouldn't have gotten married like that. I wouldn't have been in a relationship like that. But we're going to default to love in relationship. That's it. Relationship or be right. And I would even if you say that I want to be right, I'm going to question you on who invited you into that conversation. Why do you even get a vote into what your sister in law's future relationship? Man, that's just asking for the most complex, most most non relational way of doing life.

[00:37:09]

And so if she comes to you and says, hey, man, hey, Kevin, do you think I should marry this guy, then you've got an invitation to speak. And until that moment comes, man, let it ride, dude. Let it ride.

[00:37:22]

Choose a I guess our question now is we've done that thing right. And so now we're just like, OK, we're just going to be. We're not going to say anything, the law at this point, but they won't stop now. Now they're frustrated. They want to talk to us, they want us.

[00:37:36]

So, Kevin, you know, I got do need to call them and call them on the phone and say, hey, here's the deal. I had an opinion on this and you didn't invite me to speak on this. And I spoke and I'm sorry. And call your mother in law and say, I injected into your life. You're a grown up. And for some reason, me and my wife out of love, we were trying to do what we thought was best.

[00:37:59]

You didn't ask our opinion. You don't need our opinion. And we gave it to you anyway. We call some division. And I'm sorry, how can we be supportive? How can we be more relational or call them both and say, hey, we think you are idiots. We don't want anything to do with y'all until you get your lives right and you and your wife go off into the woods together. And that's great if that's the way you want to do it.

[00:38:19]

But that's the binary choice you have right now. Call and say, hey, you know what, we spoke up. We shouldn't have sorry or forget you guys when we're out.

[00:38:26]

OK, here's the deal. I want to ask you on this, because you can call and you can reach out and you can apologize. You cannot make them accept it.

[00:38:33]

Absolutely not. No, that's frustrating. It's super frustrating because if I'm reaching out to try to try to apologize, I at least would like to hear. Thank you. You're forgiven. Also witnessed how the world works.

[00:38:44]

But, you know, the way the world does work is if you scroll down on your phone, there's this little button called block. And so if somebody is texting you and you don't want them to go down and push the little red button and they won't contact you anymore. And so if you don't like the way people are talking to you on social media, on your cell phone, turn it off, turn it off. You're in control of that.

[00:39:04]

You are not in control whether they're going to like you or not, whether they want to be your friend and hang out or not. But I think this is a great moment for Kevin and his wife and their young marriage to say we've got opinions, but we also want relationships.

[00:39:16]

Well, you have to show me how to do that. Thinks I need to figure out how to block you. All right. Listen here. I am so glad for all of you all taking the time to call in. We appreciate you, Dr. D. I love harassing him, love his heart, love his mindset and his focus. I want to thank producer James Child, associate producer Kelly Daniel. And I want to thank all of you for tuning in.

[00:39:34]

Oh, we've had a blast. This is The Dave Ramsey Show.

[00:39:48]

Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt free scream live on the show, make sure you visit Dave Ramsey, Dotcom Slash Show and Riteish. We would love for you to come to Nashville, tell Dave your story. If you're looking for fun and practical ways to save money in your everyday life, you need to check out The Rachel Cruise Show, a podcast from money expert and my daughter, Rachel Cruze.

[00:40:17]

Hey, guys, it's Rachel Cruz. And I'm so excited to tell you about my podcast. A lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. They're in debt. They don't even know where to begin. But they have this need this want to get in control of their money. And if that's you, you have come to the right spot. So in each episode, you get a ton of inspiration and practical advice. If not, subscribe to the Rachel Corrie show podcast.

[00:40:39]

Make sure you do it today.

[00:40:40]

Hear more from the Ramsey network, including the Rachel Cruz show wherever you listen to podcasts.

[00:40:47]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.