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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the car rental studios at the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW and is the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. My co-host this day on the Dave Ramsey Show is Ramsey personality number one, bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio host Ken Coleman. Welcome back, Ken.

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Always good to be with you, Dave. I'm warmed up to hours of the Ken Coleman show in the books. I'm stretched and ready to go. OK, let's go straight to Austin in Kuwait. Austin, how are you?

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I'm fantastic, Dave. It's great to finally talk. How are you two, sir? Everything's great here, man. So what are you doing in Kuwait? Military.

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Yes, I'm active duty Marine Corps. I got two more years.

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Well, thank you for your service, sir. How can we help today?

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Thank you, sir. OK, so first I'd like to start off and say that I really appreciate you because I found your show about three years ago and I'm five days away from the idea that you. Cool. So my question. So I got two more years of active duty, and I'm I'm really interested in doing what you do. So my question is what kind of degree or what what kind of job or wants to go to do similar things, what you do on a radio or speak or coaching?

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What part of what I do, you know, like coaching people to get financially successful? OK, cool.

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Well, it certainly does not require a certification or degree. What you'd have to have is more knowledge than the person you're coaching.

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It's pretty much true. Absolutely.

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And so that's get ahead of that. And so there's not a lot of curriculum out there for helping people that are struggling with money.

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There's a lot of curriculum for helping people that are wealthy and, you know, investment advice. And you can go and get your CFP, your certified financial planning designation. We have a thing where we train coaches to, you know, to do it as a ministry, to coach and there is a ministry in their church and help families or individuals that are struggling or some of them go on and actually make that a career and are a part of our network that we refer people to.

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And so you could you could investigate that part of it can as fast steps after the military, what should he do?

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Well, I think you have to first identify, like Dave said, which side you want to go to. You want to be more of a financial coach, whether that's an entrepreneurial venture, you know, that's a one client at a time. You've got to build it. And as Dave said, our financial coach, massive training program will not only teach you how to be a great coach, but will help you grow your business. So that's one option.

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The other options do you want to get into obviously investing. So helping people like our smart VESTER pros, once you determine which of those two things you want to do is it is a combination of both, or is it just one of those things? That's what you have to get clear on, then it's all about getting qualified. And so, as Dave said, one is going to require more qualifications in the form of some type of education. Doesn't mean a four year school, but what does it take to actually get there?

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What's going to get you the ticket to the dance? And so you're focusing on that now as you're getting out of debt. You're also looking at what is the path that I want to take. And from that standpoint, once you get really clear on that, then you start to walk that out now so that as you get out of the military now, you're not trying to get caught up and get qualified. You're taking those steps as you can while still in the military.

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And I would tell you, Dave, the vice I give anybody like this is clarify and verify. So let's talk to some financial coaches, you know, get online, find people who are doing it successfully, not the person, you know, like you say, the shop teacher without any fingers don't want to talk to him about building anything. Right. But the idea here is, is we want to talk to successful people who are winning and ask them, what do you love most about your day?

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Is there a part of your day you don't like? How did you get there? How did you build the business? Which way did you go? These things are super important. And as you're clarified, it's like doing a college research paper on somebody that your heart will begin to verify if that's the work you actually want to do. And that's how you get real clarity.

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You know, the the way that I ended up starting this often is not necessarily the path you would want to take, but you might take a page out of that book. I started just coaching families at my church and I had gone broke and I had learned these principles from scripture and I was applying them in my own life. And the pastor said, hey, can you help this guy who's in foreclosure? Yep. I used to buy foreclosures than I was one so I can help him.

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And so I sat down with him, helped them get their home saved and, you know, negotiate with the mortgage company. And it was all volunteer. There was no money involved and there's no certification involved of any kind, actually, no training involved. I just stepped in to start doing it from my life experiences. I was able to do that. Then that evolved from there to where someone started paying me to do that over time.

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So you could, while you're in this last two years, work with the chaplaincy. A lot of the chaplains teach Financial Peace University and Remzi Plus now, and you could work with a chaplain, so you get a financial piece class going and just coach those guys and gals in the class. That's absolutely one.

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And you could and you could do the you know, the financial coach master training online and which it's online. So you can do that the first steps of that. And, you know, you could that way you could kind of get your foot in the water while you're still a Marine. Yeah, you're trying it out. I guess you're always a Marine while you're still active duty Marine.

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But but the and, you know, then you can say, wow, I don't think I really wanna do this before you actually ran out of your contract with the military. There's a lot of ways you could serve the men and women right around you on a voluntary basis.

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Right now, I wouldn't be a paid gig, but but again, it's you work with your local your chaplaincy there. I'm sure they're probably already teaching financial peace.

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We teach it to hundreds of thousands of. Military worldwide every year. So how you again, thank you for your service and if we can help you, sir, any time you let us know, open phones at eight eight two five five two two five.

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Will is in New Hampshire. Hey, well, welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show.

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Thank you for taking my call. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, I'm one baby step two.

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And I found you last year. I was like half a million dollars worth of debt. And I'm glad I found you before my daughter is going to college. I advised her that she was going into community college because we have no money or her dreams went down when I said that to her. Basically, my question is she's working two jobs right now with summer saving money for the community. College is already paid through a scholarship for two years. Everything she has to transfer to a university to finish what she wants to do.

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She'll have about five thousand dollars saved working on me and her. And I had a fight the other day because I don't have a paycheck. I only let her keep 50 bucks. And she said it's not fair. I don't know if I've been too strong on her. Out of her paycheck because she doesn't pay cash, she doesn't pay electricities impatience with the car, I cover everything. So that way when she works, she gives me her paycheck and I give her 50 bucks.

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And it all goes into her savings for her education. Yes, sir.

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OK, well, what would what happened is that she doesn't have any dignity because she's not participated in the decision. I think what you're doing is correct. How you're doing it is wrong. And that means that you need to sell her the dream that you have for her. And when she when she adopts the dream that you have for her, which is a good dream, you're doing it well, then she will voluntarily want to do that. Because if you want to go to school and you want to finish, this is how we're going to do it.

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And I'm going to help you. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I keep hearing stories from people on my team telling me how much they love honey. One of my developers, Brandon, told me he uses it all the time. The browser extension I've been telling you to download always tells him if he has the best deal on Amazon and he gets the e-mails every time there's a price drop. He said he doesn't even know how much it saved him, but it's more than he paid for it, which is free.

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So listen to Papa Dave. Download honey for free. Join honey dot com slash Dave. Ken Coleman Ramsey, personality number one, bestselling author and host of the Ken Coleman Show on Radio XM and. On a well listened to world travel podcast with me as my co-host today here on the air, so can according to this article, Yahoo!

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Finance, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, reported Thursday that the covid-19 pandemic had led to pay downs of household debt in the second quarter of 2020. Leading to the first quarter over quarter decline since 2014, the New York Fed's consumer debt panel consumer credit panel, which uses national data from Equifax, shows that total household debt fell by 34 billion to fourteen point two seven trillion as of June 30th.

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The most notable decline in consumer debt came from credit card spending or balances fell 76 billion in the second quarter. The steepest decline in the history of the New York Fed's data. Auto and student loan balances were roughly flat. The data shows show signs of caution over consumer spending. Well, no kidding.

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Mortgage balances, however, continued to rise and added 63 billion. So basically, we got student loans flat.

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We got and to the extent that this particular region of the Fed is indicative of everything else, we don't know about that for sure. But it makes sense. It makes sense for credit card debts down student loan debts, flat mortgages are up because people are buying houses still and. Auto loans are basically flat, are auto debt is flat. So what amounts to us is that people weren't going to restaurants and they weren't traveling and they weren't using their credit cards and they paid them down because they were scared.

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That's right. Some good news, though. In this June, we saw consumer spending rise by five point six percent. So that speaks to some confidence. And the delinquency rates on mortgages, that's a record Zwelakhe region.

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That's right. So this is a great article to share because, you know, you hear all the doom and gloom. And if you're watching news or you're reading news, a lot of click bait out. There are a lot of stories designed to get your head to turn. These are real economic numbers and that would at least suggest that better days are ahead. You and I have believed that all the RAMSI personnel, as we've said, that our message of hope are saying that this is a storm storm's path.

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There's some good news here. And there is there's hope that some people are saying, you know what? Never again. And and that's what we're seeing. And I'm encouraged. I think as time moves on, we're going to see business owners start to help beat the drum a little bit to say, you know what, if we're going to survive, if we're going to thrive, we're going to have to figure out how to work and people want to work.

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And so I'm still in a place of optimism. Even though the news isn't always positive. I'm optimistic.

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Yeah, the I think one of the things that's negative not not out of this article, but overall is. The the same place in your brain, the same chemical reaction in your brain that causes someone to become addicted to pornography, causes them to become addicted to fear. And some of these news channels have basically been putting out fear porn for about four months now. And they've gotten record ratings off of it as working for them.

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And they found a new story occasionally to move on from it. But they go right back to fear porn because it's working for them. And some of you have watched the news so much that you've become addicted to fear.

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And you spend your whole life just trembling.

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And what happens when you do that is you lose your critical thinking skills so you no longer have the ability to look at massive data or social distancing data or death rates with a clear mind, you know, you no longer can look at the inconsistencies in the testing processes with a clear mind and come to a reasonable, commonsense conclusion. Instead, your octaves go up because your throat is tight and you screech at someone in the grocery store.

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Yeah, because you're addicted to fear. You've been you've gotten hooked on fear porn and nothing that no one can reason with you because you've lost your freaking mind. Yeah.

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Those people are seeing a threat everywhere. They're seeing a threat everywhere. You know, it's interesting. You talk about the part of the brain. You can look this up, Google lizard brain, and that's become the kind of the common man description of that part of our brain. But it really does protect us. The brain is designed to protect us and it's called fight or flight. And so what Dave's talking about, folks, is is absolutely backed up from neuroscience that when we get so focused on fear we have our brain will put us into one or two places and we get to choose most people.

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Dave, as you're saying, are choosing flight. I'm afraid I'm going to contract everything in my life. I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to freak out and I'm going to get in this bunker and I'm going to be mad at anybody that doesn't do what I do.

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That's the issue. Or what if we choose the flight mechanism, say, you know what, look, this is out of our control. A lot of this is out of our control. But what can I control? What I can control, what I focus on? I can find good stories that aren't just Kumbia cotton candy. I'm talking some of the data we've given you here, the jobs numbers, new job numbers came out today, less job unemployment than they predicted.

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I look at that and I go, that's optimistic. You know, we've got not exactly a check mark.

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It's not it didn't just bounce back. It didn't bounce back. And the reason it didn't was we've continued with some of the draconian policies.

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That's right. But we also got small businessmen and women that are fighting to save their business, fighting to save your job. We've got entrepreneurs that are fighting to come up with new business models and new consumer products that are coming out of these times. The point is, we've got to choose to say, I'm not going to let this circumstance a pandemic and everybody else's reaction to it color my perspective and thus my actions. I think it's well said. We've got to be careful what we consume.

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Yeah. Fairborn, if you consume fear all the time, that's all you see is an attack around every corner.

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Yeah. And you become subject to it. You you're now. Absolutely. And you can see people's eyes. Oh yeah. They're skulking around, you know. Oh where's the boogeyman all the time. As opposed to going to look this is a tough time. America's been through tough times before. Other countries been through tough times. And what have we seen, the human spirit, if it decides to fight and to and to say we're going to overcome this and adapt, then good things can happen.

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And I am I am very optimistic. I just trust business people, man. If we can just get the government out of business, I feel real good about you, the people.

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I do. Well, because, you know, this idea that somehow business people are out to harm their employees is absolutely absolute garbage. That's asinine. Yeah, they can't do that on purpose. We spend so much money acquiring team members, no amount of money. I spend recruiting and getting people hurt and then try and kill them. Right.

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That would just that's asinine. Well, you said a hundred times you can't can't get to the vision that we have for Ramsey Solutions as it continues to evolve and grow without people. Yeah.

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So we turned off our hiring for sixty days because we were conserving cash to make sure we were going to turn the corner and survive. We've you know, we've stabilized our revenues now. We pivoted and pivoted until I'm sick of the word. And and so we're back in full horror mode now and we'll hire two hundred people by the end of the year probably. And so, you know, can you I talking with a guy last night in business and can you imagine being in the Plexiglas business right now?

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Oh, my goodness. They can't they can't hire people.

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Keep it low. It's like everywhere you got a piece of glass work and, you know, every cash register suddenly has is it is absolutely. I mean, be like being in the mass production business or how about how about all those toilet paper lives right now. And and the paper tell people they are living good right now. After all the collective freakout in America three months ago, you couldn't find toilet paper if you tried, you couldn't find it.

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A toilet paper shortage of the spring of twenty twenty. Well I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's crazy. I mean, there's opportunity everywhere. Gosh, we just have to we have to infect people.

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I know you're going to get on that word, but I chose it on purpose. We've got in fact, fear.

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Fear is more contagious virus, but we have got to infect. People with some optimism to say, you know, virus is highly contagious, by the way, I know, but the fear is more fear, way more. And by the way, I'm going to say this, the fear and the fallout of this virus and the draconian leadership measures will have harmed more people than the actual virus when this is all said. Definitely all kinds of all kinds of data already showing that.

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All kinds of data already showing that it's the good news is they didn't run up their credit cards. That's the data. That's good. We still got work to do, though. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Still 76 billion in just credit cards. I mean, we're going to be OK. And Jenny Craig got a lot of work today. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Our Question of the Day comes from Blind's dotcom, find out for yourself why Blind's Dotcom is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings, free samples, free shipping, new promos every month always use the magic word to get the discounts.

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Ramsey That's the promo code Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman is my co-host on the air today. Ramsey personality, Kinnah question. Yes. Emily writes in from Georgia. She says, I'm interested in pursuing a career in copywriting and an educational course that I'm looking at is 2000 dollars. Are these types of courses a wise investment to kick start a fledgling career or are they a waste of money?

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Yes, yes.

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And yes, it depends. I will explain that second. Yes, I think it's absolutely a great idea for you to take a reputable course. That being the operative word here. We want to do our research and get enough evidence, a lot of evidence. All right. That says this is a legitimate course that can make me a better copywriter and get me started, but be very careful of scams that are really bad products in that market, in that market for sure.

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That can promise you you're going to be a great copywriter. And again, my advice here is let's talk to some people who are copywriters. If you can't talk to them in your community, you can't find somebody. They are online. Get some real advice from somebody who is a professional copywriter. Not difficult to do.

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If you were if you were, you know, somebody ten years in, if you were me getting started, what class would you take? Yeah, that's right. And, you know, call around, talk to somebody, even if they're strangers, get them on the phone and just just randomly bother them. But if you can get somebody that actually knows a friend of a friend, say, hey, George told me your copywriter, would you mind answering one question for me?

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That's right.

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You know you know, if you were if you were just starting your career, which class would you take? And they're going to go, don't take that one.

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Also, there are a lot of college. 2000 scares me. That makes me think scam.

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Yeah, I would be concerned about that as well. Shouldn't be that much. Yeah.

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I mean a couple of hundred bucks for an audit, a class at a community college to get started and start learning to put words together in a way typically copyrighting. A couple different things you could do.

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I mean, technical writing certainly. But copywriting generally means you're selling something. And so you have to you have to develop your sales skills as well.

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And you're communicating persuasively your message, your branding message. And so anything where you're studying branding and you're studying sales and you're studying the word flow that causes that to happen is going to assist you in that process. Valorie is with us. Valerie is in San Diego.

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Hi, Valerie. How are you? Hi, I'm great. How are you guys? Great. How can we help? Yes.

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So I am currently a naturopathic medical student. I'm 31 and I'm starting my second year at five. I'm currently one hundred and seventy four thousand dollars in debt and part of that includes twenty K for my car and I'm from an MBA and then eighty two from my first year of school. I have four more years left and I desire to be a wife and a mom one day as well. And part of my concern is once I finished school, the potential of what I'll make after the average graduating and it makes about ninety K and but there is a potential to make up to three hundred and four hundred.

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And I know people doing math and, but I'm concerned if I would be taking that into a future marriage. And I also own a marketing company. So I do have potential to make money and building websites. So I just want to get your thoughts on all of that. I think the first question has to be, what is it that you want to do if these money issues weren't at the forefront? And I understand why they are there.

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But I mean, you've got like 14 different directions. You got an MBA, you got a marketing company, now you're in med school. What is I mean, you've got to figure out what you want to do.

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Then we figure out the path and how this is all going to play out. So what is it that you want to do?

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So I went into it wanting to change medicine, and I was going to do that by exploring the business side, learning more about the health like the business side of health care, which I did, and now going into the end naturopathic side. And I see a potential potentially in politics in the future. And but I kind of just feel like there's a lot going on. I also desire to be in ministry and healing. OK, so here's here's the thing.

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There's a lot. Yeah, we got a lot. And that's not a bad thing. But that's going to we also work on cars. But Dave, he's being sarcastic. So you're doing everything. You're amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's OK to have a lot of desires, but we've got to start to rank these things because I'm a firm believer that that if I made you choose that there's one that's higher up the ladder as it relates to your heart.

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So if we guaranteed success in all of these things, which is the one thing that if you could only choose one that you would choose, you know, like how old are you right now?

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Thirty one. OK, so when let's just picture the 51 year old version of you smiling, deeply satisfied, really fulfilled. What is that woman doing? And a wife, a mom, and then also in ministries doing something and feeling like it's like being with a pastor or something like that, but I think I did then the medical side to really just I love healing. And I thought that that would be a great role. But as I'm getting deeper into it and seeing the reality of it, that I think that's kind of scaring me.

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Yeah, well, it's not just that either. Let's go to the positive side of that answer that you have to listen to, that you want to be administered. You want to be a wife, you want to be a mom, and you want to minister to people in the same area that you've been looking at the medicine side. So I think your heart has revealed that it is ministry, not medicine. Now, the medicine side plays a part in the ministry aspect, but you've just been kicking the tires and you've been testing some things, but you've gotten yourself in a situation where it's been a real expensive test.

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But that doesn't mean that you can't go whoa. And I think you've got to start to make some decisions that will allow the 51 year old Valerie to be sitting there going, what a journey this has been. And I'm not even close to done. I'm now about momentum and maximum potential.

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You, Valerie, you are heart, you know, and soul. And you are I'm hearing you real clearly. You love and you hurt with people and you wanted to go into medicine to do that.

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You wanted to go into the healing arts. You didn't want to go into the medical industry. And if you go 250000 dollars in debt, you're about to go into the medical industry because you have no choices except go be a 80 hour a week M.D. to get the crap you made, the mess you made cleaned up, you're going to have to go make 300 K, and that's going to be industry.

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That's not going to be hard.

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Exactly. Yeah.

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So let me just add one last piece to this. I think you need to stay in this marketing company that you have worked at. You're pretty good at, OK, because that that'll give us if we just do what we're good at, that'll get us some success. But as you're getting stable, get out of this debt press, stop. We're going to get out of this thing, like Dave said. And now we begin to take steps for what would be the training in the qualification and the learning that I would need to eventually be doing the more ministry side of the healing, as Dave said, the healing arts.

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And you and you prepare for that over the long haul and you get yourself financially secure. The man comes into your life, you start the family, and that's the future. But you've got to start taking those steps now. You've got to follow your heart on this.

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Are you are you you should ministries come up several times? Are you connected with a good pastor? A good minister?

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Yes.

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Good. Go sit down with them and tell them what you told us and ask them to pray with you and in prayer, get peace about what we have said. We could be wrong, but you need to get a peace about it.

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Because when I said that to you a minute ago, you had a physical reaction, didn't you?

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Yeah. Yeah.

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So you need to analyze what that what happened there and in prayer and say, OK, God, when I winced when Dave got up in my face on that did why did I do that.

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And OK, God is it because he was right or because he's just a jerk or was it because is it because he really was reading my mail? Or maybe it's because it was wrong and you wince because you wanted to go to continue the path you're on.

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So I'm OK being wrong, but I'm not OK with I think you need to spend some time in prayer with a good pastor and you guys just talk about this and quitting med school is a huge decision.

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You should not do that willy nilly off a radio call. You should spend some time with people in your life that love you, that speak into that decision with you, and then you'll you'll make a wiser call. What we're doing here is trying to give you something to think about, not this is not as simple as sell the car.

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One cautionary tale when you meet with those friends and family, be careful that their advice isn't about what the smart decision is, because you've already invested. You've still got to follow your heart. What is God saying? That's the issue. That's what you're looking for. What's God saying? This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thanks for joining us, America, this is the Dave Ramsey Show. If you haven't heard, there's actually a national dollar, a dollar car rental.

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Thought that was a cool thing. So they made it easier than ever to use debit cards for your car rental. National Day is officially celebrated on August the 8th as the day the U.S. Congress established our country's monetary system and car rental sees it as fitting to run their biggest sale of the year this year.

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They are making it even bigger than last year. And instead of savings instead of one, instead of one of the savings, they're offering their best deal of the year for three days. Starting today, August six through Saturday, the eight get 15 percent off your rental or a 150 dollar credit towards a hotel and dining. When you book with dollar these days, traveling by car is safe. Go to dollar dot com like Ramsey and take advantage of this national holiday deal.

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It's a deal. Hey, we love these guys. They change their whole policy to take debit cards for Remzi listeners. For more details on the debit card policy and everything else, go to dollar dot com. Dave, join the Dollar Express Club, get 150 dollars credit. It's a deal, 50 percent off your rental, one of the two dollar dotcoms. Dave, it's a very cool open phones at eight eight to five five two to five. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host this hour.

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Rogers in Houston, Texas. Hi, Roger.

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How are you? Great day. How you doing today?

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Better than I deserve. How can can I help? Well, I listened to your show for a while now, and I really respect your opinion when it comes to parenting advice, and I feel like my wife and I have kind of backed ourselves into a corner with our daughter. I was hoping that you could give me a different perspective on how to deal with her. OK, and what's going on? Well, she graduated high school a few years ago and decided she shouldn't go to college and we supported her decision and she moved off and she came back through some series of unfortunate events.

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We have a beautiful little granddaughter now and. Now we're trying to coach her, and I think we're running into a situation where a person has to want to be coached in order for things to kind of take hold, if you will. So she and she's passive or she's rebellious. More on the passive side, I would say. How old is she? She's 21, holds a baby. She is one. She will be two next week. Wonderful.

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That's so wonderful. What are you coaching her to do? What is the specific coaching that she's not receiving? Well, some of the lessons that we just recently learned in the past few years of, you know, managing money and trying to get your future going together and get some kind of structure underneath you so that you can become self-sufficient then and move on with your life. Yeah.

[00:32:52]

Is she working? And not currently we have well, we currently have another little one on the way that is slated to be here in the next three or four weeks Ashleigh. She's pregnant with her second, correct? OK, where's the father for this one?

[00:33:14]

This one is here. They're both living in our house. The agreement was that they would stay here and try to save up some money to get their own place. And they were planning to get married in August. And we had a talk with them last week, see how they were doing and. And that none of that has come to fruition. OK, well, here's the thing. These are kids having kids and. Your heart is broken and you want to be kind to your own kid, and yet you realize that this is not going anywhere.

[00:33:59]

So my tendency tempered by my wife is to move too quickly and too deliberately. And then Sharon adds some soft edges to that. And we usually come into a good balance. We often say our kids turned out because of the fear of their father and the nurturing of their mother.

[00:34:18]

So we know this about ourselves.

[00:34:20]

And so we're good with that. As a matter of fact, it works with the grandbabies, too. We're working the same system with them and we have a good guy, good cop, bad cop routine, and it works pretty well. But grandbabies love Papa Dave, too. But Papa Dave don't play. So if I tell you do something I don't tell you three times, you just freakin do it. So it's old school. It's an integrity thing.

[00:34:40]

No is a complete sentence. So anyway, this is who you're talking to and asking about this.

[00:34:45]

All right.

[00:34:46]

And so, you know, and then I have to go, OK, I got to be I got to be gentle and I need to be kind and I need to give some space.

[00:34:56]

Obviously, what I think I would do is just sit down and dream with them and say, guys, the way this is all unraveling.

[00:35:04]

It doesn't feel like you're ever going to become somebody, so you need a unit you need to sit down at. You cannot stay here any longer unless we get on a program to help you win at your life.

[00:35:19]

I'm not going to participate in you being a turtle without a shell. Useless and passive, and so because I love you too much for that to happen, so, young man, young lady, what are you going to be when you're 30 and how are we going to help you get there? And we call that as goal setting a desired future. What is your desired future? And then you start asking yourself what has to be true to get to that desired future?

[00:35:46]

And then you can say, OK, now we have laid out a game plan together. I want to be a nurse. I want to be an auto mechanic. I want to do this. And this is how I'm going to feed these two children and be a good mom and a good dad.

[00:35:59]

OK, now, I will tell you as the as your dad who loves you more than life itself, that I think there's a couple of things you're going to start doing now. You can do whatever you want to, but this is what would happen if it was my house.

[00:36:10]

OK, we're going to put in place a plan and you can stay here until X date as a part of that plan if you are executing on the plan.

[00:36:21]

That is your rent, you have to pay rent, you have to execute the steps and the plan or you have to leave now, that means you're going to get married this weekend.

[00:36:32]

And that means at our house, we're not doing substance abuse. That means that our house on Sundays, we go to church. That means that our house, we're going to grow spiritually. We're going to take care of our bodies physically. We're going to start behaving in moral ways. We're going to start doing these things. It's not shaming someone. These are the elements that will cause you to win when you're 30. And I'm going to help you get there.

[00:36:54]

If you refuse to take those steps, then it is immediately an eviction notice for you. Because I love you and I will not participate in you losing, I will only participate in you winning. I don't know, Ken.

[00:37:09]

Well, I think Dave's giving you a really good path on boundaries. I would add to this that as as a father and your wife, as the mother, you need to stop getting out of the motivation game. You're trying to motivate them and you cannot motivate another person. I will put a situation where they need to do it well, but I want.

[00:37:27]

Yes, but Dave's right. I'm going to give you one thing I think I would add to that. I think you have to have a sit down with both of might start with your daughter because she's your daughter. And I would get into what's causing her to act the way she is. And what I mean by that is motivation. So there's a motive behind everything. It's called intrinsic motivation. And I would just simply say this.

[00:37:46]

She has got to see, along with Dave's plan and the desire future, she's got to be able to look at what's causing her to stay in the pit that she's in right now. She's created a little bit of a pit and it's either fear and so that's motivating her now. And let's get to the optimistic side of what motivates her and use her parents. You've known this kid your whole life. What has driven her when she's been in seasons of life where she's really on fire and active?

[00:38:17]

And I would bring that discussion to the part where Dave said, what's that desired future look like? And if you can help them see that motivation where they begin to see Worth and they begin to see a positive future, despite some of the missteps, that's going to give you the best chance to combine the boundaries and get some positive movement.

[00:38:36]

You know, the essence of this, what I'm saying is where there is no vision, the people perish. That's right. She needs a vision. He needs a vision. They need a vision. And you're going to help them develop one and make sure they execute to get there. And part of that is within six months they're gone because they're starting to take the steps to get there. This is the day Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show.

[00:39:12]

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[00:39:28]

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[00:39:50]

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[00:40:02]

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[00:40:08]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.