Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the car rental studios. It's the Dave Ramsey Show that is dumb. Cash is king and a paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Anthony O'Neal Ramsey, personality number one, best selling author of the book Debt Free Degree, is my co-host today.

Open Phones, a triple eight eight two five five two two five. That's triple eight eight two five five two two five.

Starting off this hour is Sophia in Buffalo, New York. Hi, Sophia.

How are you doing? How are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? So I am about to enter repayment on my loans. I made a mistake and went to a private university. I have about one hundred ten thousand dollars mixed between federal and private, and I've already started putting in a couple thousand on it. I am a teacher, so my income is not great, but I'm ready to go because I intend. But I feel like if I put one hundred percent of my income on these loans, I won't really be making a dent.

So I don't really know what to do. What is your income, Sophia? About 38000. Yeah, so we have the very first thing is we got to get a bigger shovel. OK, we have to figure out how can we get this 38000 up?

That's the very first one. What do you teach? I am a kindergarten teacher right now. OK, are you qualified to teach in high school? I'm not qualified for high school, but I am qualified for special ed, and that usually comes with a pay raise during next year.

OK, what I was thinking of is what you might do, tutoring on the side. Yes.

And it might be that there are some special ed families that would hire you and after school. Yes. That you could do some tutoring or some special work with some of them, maybe give them a little bit of a breather. Yeah. And have you come in and teach a little bit and pay you to do that, and that would be a wonderful extra job. Yeah, yeah.

I agree. Sophia Tutor Dotcom's great place to there's a lot of like young people going on there to really seek it for help in parents right now with the kids being home. So you can really go in there and generated probably another 15 to 20000 dollars in income if you do that every day. But right now, number one, you've got to get your your income up. And then, number two, I want you looking to splash Financial to see if they can help you out there, because if not, you can possibly refinance with a much lower interest rate if that is an option.

But basically, if we can find thirty thousand dollars a year, yeah, you're done in three years. If you find 25000 hours a year, you're done in four years, give or take.

Yeah. OK, and so this is doable. You're going to get there.

Yeah. But you've got a tough a few years ahead of you.

You're going to be working a lot, not doing anything and working a lot. But Sophea, hold on.

I'll have Kelly give you a copy of my Destroy Your Student Loan Debt. I walk through a lot of options on there to help you speed up the process. So stay on the line, Kelly. We get that for you. That's one of our Ramsey quick reads. For those of you that don't know out there, how many pages is that? 84, 84 pages. So it's a couple chapters basically. Might be three chapter book. Yeah, that kind of a thing.

We're doing a lot of these quick reads. Dr. Delany's book, Redefining Anxiety is out. It's a quick read. It's like 40 or 50 pages or something. And so we're doing a lot of things that are easy to get through, quick to get through. And the destroying your student loan debt. It is a couple of chapters. Yeah. And it's really, really good. You can pick it up for ten bucks right now, so it'll help a lot of you and we'll give you a copy of that.

So for you and help you get into this, because basically Anthony's right. There's what we call the shovel to hole ratio.

You're in one hundred and eight thousand dollar hole and you have a 38000 shovel.

And he's saying we need a bigger shovel so that we can hit on that get get that hole filled up that much faster and be done with it. Andrews' in Orange County. Hey, Andrew, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, hey, Anthony, how are you guys doing? Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I have I discovered you guys earlier this year, February, March. I've had a pretty high income for the last ten years and I made Congress look like they were they were on the Dave Ramsey program and me and my wife spent over that time period and finally, finally starting to get our stuff together here and in my questioning.

So I blew out all of our debt. So we paid off everything. A couple of hundred thousand of debt good in the last six months ago. And we did something of our of our more. Well, actually, technically right now I don't have a mortgage on relocating, but we're in escrow to buy a house. Actually, the Nashville area. So my question is, I am now on baby steps, I guess, four or five and six.

And and my question is, my income exceeds 15 percent of income and the amount that you can contribute to retirement accounts. And so I'm trying to figure out how to get to that. What is your what is your household income?

Well, I'm 100 percent commission, so it varies wildly. I'm in the mortgage industry. So it's you know what I mean, in a year. What do you think is going to make well, over the last 10 or 10 years of average between six hundred and a million, OK, annually. All right. This year it's probably going to end up like one point eight.

Yeah, I imagine. Wow. Way to go. Yeah. Very cool. Good for you. Thank you.

So yeah.

I mean when you get an income above a half a million you can change your ratios if you want to. Yeah. Because the point is we're trying to invest aggressively and as you said earlier, not spend like you're in Congress. And so, yeah, you're right. You know, what I would do in your case is you max out. I'll give you an example. Okay.

I want to invest more in 15 percent of my income, but I'm going to say I don't. But I do. But it's not in retirement accounts, obviously. And so, you know, I max out my 401. I'm max out a couple of Roths, Back-Door, Roths and Smart Vesterbro can help you do those if you don't know how. Yeah. And Max out max out my HSA. I don't even use the HSA except for an investment account basically.

And I've got all that invested in mutual funds and so that's all done. It's just maxed out. And then the rest of our investments I just throw in mutual funds until I get enough in there to buy real estate and I buy real estate with it. And so consequently today, many years later, after doing that, my real estate portfolio was way larger than my mutual fund portfolio.

But I'm a real estate guy. I love real estate, so that's how I've done it. But yeah, in terms of, you know, what comes first Match or Roth or that kind of stuff, when you're making a million dollars a year, that doesn't even come up. Yeah, I mean, you just max out everything, just blow it up and make sure you get your house paid for in the midst of that, too. But it sounds like you're making a move to Tennessee and we probably are paying cash for a house coming out of Orange County.

That would make sense to be able to do that anyway. So well done. Circulation's what a fabulous income.

Yeah, it paid off 200000 dollars in the last six months. That's amazing.

Well, he should have. Yeah. Make a one point eight. Yeah.

He should be able to do that by paying off Winogrand make a 180. Hey come on. That same ratio, right. Yes sir. And so that's how this works. Well done. Very well done. Let's go from a thirty eight thousand our teacher to that home. That's amazing. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. There's almost always a rise and break ins this time of year, it's why simply safe home security is having a huge holiday sale.

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Well, we're also looking for some millionaires. If you are a millionaire and want to participate in one of our millionaire theme hours, we don't care how you became the millionaire. We just want to share with people how you did it.

And because we want to talk to people who are really millionaires now, millionaires not making a million dollars a year millionaire is you have a million dollar net worth. What you own, minus what you owe is your net worth, your assets minus or liabilities. And so we're looking for millionaire calls if you want to be part of the next millionaire theme. Our go to Dave Ramsey dotcom slash show. And you can fill out the form there. Kelly, Daniel will get back with you and arrange for you to be on the show and be part of our millionaire theme.

Our Anthony O'Neal Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Steve is with us in Helena, Montana.

Hi, Steve. How are you? Hi, Dave, I am now yesterday. Great man, how can we help? Well, I have an issue with getting a divorce and I'm trying to do it amicably, and one of the issues we have is we have a house that's on we own the house and property, but it's on, I guess, inherited sort of family estate from the family. Mm hmm. And I want her to be able to stay in the house with the kids.

But in the divorce, we need to separate that property. And there's no way that she can buy me out, no way I can buy her out because of our debts and stuff. And I guess my question is, is, is it. A good idea to just to put in a divorce to say. Five years that we still don't live together, but at the end of five years when my daughter graduates, she needs to, that we either need to sell it or she needs to buy me out of that time.

And what your opinion of that was? Her son tofor. So what is the property worth? Tax for you right now is 285. No, no, no, no. The tax value, what's it worth? Probably four, 10. And what do you owe on it? We owe one hundred, OK, so it would take her three hundred and sixty thousand dollars and fifty thousand dollars to buy you out, I'm one hundred and fifty dollars to buy you out, I'm sure.

Right.

Yeah, OK, yeah. So it would double the mortgage payment. Yeah. If she can't cover.

And what does she make a year. She makes 45 to 50 as a teacher. So what kind of shape are her parents in? Are they the property owners contiguous? They were until two years ago, they they sold their their property to our sister in law and my sister alone. But they are in good shape. Do they want to? Probably they want only if they want to buy you guys out and let their daughter stay there. We haven't talked to them about it, and that's I don't.

I don't know if she'd be willing to even do that. Mm hmm. I thought of that solution, and I don't. Well, I think you saw the house. And if she wants to get her dad to buy her, if that precipitates a conversation and she gets her dad to buy you out, that's fine.

But, you know. It's just not that big a deal. Yeah, it's family land, and it used to be, but it's already gone down to the sister in law and everybody else is hanging out. And there's all this other stuff going on. You know, this is what happens in these situations. And so, you know, I don't think that's being a hard case.

I think you've got 150000 and you got five years of your life that that's tied up just to do her a favor.

Yeah, I agree. And I know I wouldn't do it.

It's not a mean it's just it's just a bad transaction and it just leaves you because here's what's going to happen. You're going to move on with your life and then you're going to need this money.

Yup. That and you're going to be kicking yourself for having done this deal in a moment of weakness, trying to be kind. But. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong at all. No, no, no. And Steve, I want to commend you on your heart.

I mean, you're from the right place. It's a it's a wonderful kind of thing you're offering. And if you want to do it, it's not the end of the world. But I think you're going to I think you're going to regret it. Yeah. And that's I was just about to say that, Dave, that that Steve, I want you to think five years from now, where are you going to be and how will this affect you then?

Yeah. What were even three years. Yeah. You know, three years. You're dating somebody, you're thinking about buying a house and, you know, you got no money. That's when I get ugly and you got 100000 dollar mortgage in your name still. Yeah, I'm selling it. I'm selling it. Yeah.

Well, and I think what's going to happen is Dad's going to come along and buy you out. Yeah. Right, and and you don't have to be unkind with a proposal, you can just go listen, the reason we're ending this relationship is because we need to end this relationship. We don't need to partially in this relationship.

Right, right. It needs to be done.

And you said earlier, Steve, that five years so that your kids can graduate. Do you think that's why she wants to stay in the house so her kids don't have to move to stay in the house because family land?

Well, it's family land. And I don't want to blow my kid's life up any more than it's already going to be blown up. Know where your kid where your kids live is nothing compared to what you guys are already going through. So that is. It just is. And your kid, the kids are resilient, though, though, how you guys act and how you react and how big how big a drama queens you all are is going to what's going to affect the kids.

It's more than if she acts like it's no big deal and she just moves. But if she carries on flops on the floor, foams at the mouth and calls you the devil, then that's going to affect your kid.

But she's good. But that's that's what's you know, that's what's it depends on the drama queen factor. But I think her dad is going to buy you out. And if I was her dad, I would buy you out. Yeah.

By the way, because I'd want to keep the land in the family and I've got the money and and I want you to be able to go on your way. Yeah. And you should be able to go on your way. And by the way, that involves also her refinancing 100000 on our mortgage and getting that out of your name. So it's not just 250000, our check coming your way and then you stay on her mortgage. No, thank you.

That mortgage needs to come out of your name as well. So it's not that harsh a thing. It's just a process. And if Dad can't or doesn't want to do it, then maybe land, family land is not that big a deal to them.

Yeah, but I suspect if he's got the money, he's going to do this deal and it's up to him and his daughter how they structure it, I don't care. In terms of your answer to your situation, sorry you guys are going through this.

It's a horrible thing to have to try to figure out how to turn a marriage into a business transaction. And that's what divorce does. It's very, very hard. Very hard. You know, to Anthony, we were talking about this exact scenario in a different hour. We share where we were talking about the you know, the mortgage has left, the house has left what wasn't the exact scenario. But the typical thing is the guy leaves and the lady gets the house and she can't afford it.

Nope. And this lady cannot afford 410000 our house. Yeah. And this one gets even more sticky because it's family. Yes. A family live. So what, you want to keep that in the family? You want to keep things straightened out that way.

So that is an issue. Without a doubt. Without a doubt it's a problem.

Wow.

Anthony O'Neal, my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show, author of the book O Debt Free Degree, Debt Free Degree. And if you text twenty things to thirty three 789, he'll send you a free thing, a three free ride up call, 20 things millennials should do, 20 things millennials should do. Text twenty things to three three, seven, eight, nine. Your timeshare is a debt, not an asset, there is no equity in it, but there are annual fees.

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Some exclusions apply see site for details. Anthony O'Neal Ramsey personality is my co-host today on the air, Brian and Alicia are with us in Corpus Christi, Texas. Hey, guys, I see on my screen your debt free way to go.

Thank you, Dave. Oh, well done. How much did you pay off?

150, one hundred fifty nine thousand five hundred.

Good for you guys. Well done. And how long did this take? Took us about three years.

Good for you and your range of income during that time, 125 to 175. What do you do for a living? I'm a chemical engineer and a little shit.

So what she does, I am a stay at home mom and I homeschool our three kids. Awesome.

Very cool. She's working harder than me. Yeah. I told you about this.

I don't doubt this. There's a reason we do not homeschool our children. We wanted them to live. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow.

Well done. So what kind of debt was this? 160000. This was our mortgage, you paid off your house where, baby, how old are you guys?

We I'm 39 and I'm thirty six and thirty five.

How's that feel? That's so great. Pretty stinking cool, man. What's this house worth? It's about three fifty.

And you're not even 40 years old. Is very good. Paid for it. Hey, I love you guys.

This is amazing. Well done. Well done. Well done. You have rocked it. So tell me the story. What in the world happened? I need to know this answer.

And so when we got married, our landlord gave us your course as a wedding gift back when it was the 13 week course. Yeah. And we got married when I was 20, so I didn't really have much concept of money except for spending. And so it just kind of set us up for the right path entering into our marriage. And then we basically after the course, we immediately paid off our four student loans, a car loan. And after that, we've just been following your plan.

And we finally get to the point where we wanted the peace of mind of owning our house. And that's that's about it. We want to leave the legacy to our kids.

So how long have you guys been married? We've been married 15 years. OK. Wow.

So so you busted through the first baby steps and you're working four or five, six for many years. And then you looked up about three years ago and said we can punch this thing and did it.

Exactly. Exactly. We got to get to that point. Punched, like you said, punch through the first baby steps right away like a gazelle.

Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

Way to go. At least I'm looking at your home on a screen and it is a beautiful home.

And you and I have to ask, what was the hardest thing during this journey? I mean, you have three beautiful kids. You're staying mom, and you're in your 30s. This is be real here. You are like this is weird. This is amazing. But what was the hardest thing during this journey?

I think just living like no one else. It's it's it can be different at times. Sometimes you don't always feel like you feel like you might be alone, but, you know, it's teamwork and being in it together helped. Yeah. I think we were on the same page. We communicated a lot about our money and what we wanted to do and just doing it together.

Yeah. You know, so interesting. You said you had no concept of money coming into marriage and you guys went through Financial Peace University at the very start 15 years ago.

So in the one sense you've watched your friends are your contemporaries anyway, blowing money, buying things they couldn't afford, going into their own cars and having no concept of money and and looking like maybe it's sometimes that they're having more fun than you're having while you're being really intentional with this.

And in another sense, you guys have had a completely different marriage than they have had.

Right, right, exactly. I mean, know, in fact, in the beginning, some of them even commented, kind of made fun of us a little bit, but as we get on the journey, you know, we heard, man, maybe we should have done that, that type of thing. Yeah.

Well, the other thing is, is there's not money fights in your house. Not not not as extreme as there are in most houses anyway, right?

Absolutely. Because you from day one, you know, had a game plan, had a template and had an agreement. And you've been working it together. I'm sure you've had disagreements. We all do. But you don't go 15 years without having a fight. But but, you know, there had to be a completely different household to grow up in for your kids than maybe your friend's kids.

Right. And that's the goal. And, you know, we tell people that that was probably one of the best wedding presents anyone could have given us. Yeah, yeah.

That's pretty cool. Or why did it go you to that now? Thank you. Wow. How does it feel? Has it set in. It has set in.

It's you know, maybe not maybe not fully, but it feels great.

I mean, so what's your first big thing you're going to do? You're a baby. Step seven. Yes. What's your first thing you're going to do with money?

Oh, we we we've been talking about saving for weddings and you know, all that. I mean, I know that still saving, but we don't know. We haven't thought that far. We haven't thought through the celebration yet.

You need to go buy something. I was about to say that I go somewhere, go do something and find someplace is open and go, yes, that's been the challenge with that is the challenge.

Yeah. All the places we were used to would go to celebrate. Not all of them, but a lot of them are closed up tight.

Wow. Well, way to go. You guys. So proud of you. Thank you. Yeah.

There's only only a couple of things left you can do with money. Continue to invest it, enjoy it and give it an outrageous generosities.

Definitely in your future. I'm so proud of y'all. Way to go.

He wrote you good stuff. All right. We've got a copy of Chris Hoggins book for you everyday millionaires. I kind of think you're probably already there, but if you're not, you will be soon. And I will send you a copy of that to show you how the other millionaires have done it. So very, very cool.

Brian and Alicia and Corpus Christi, Texas. One hundred and sixty thousand paid off in three years, making 125 to 175.

They paid off their house and they're not even forty. Count it now.

Let's share a debt free scream three to one. We don't read.

Hats off to the landlord that gave them Financial Peace University 15 years ago. Oh, my goodness. How cool is that?

Yeah, that is seriously cool.

People right now are signing up people for a financial peace university using Ramsey plus memberships to give away for Christmas.

Yeah, and that could be you 15 years from now. Some will couple you're giving that to. That could be them. I mean, that is pretty stinking neat. Yeah.

And in a covid year in a dumpster fire. Yea man. Just crazy. I mean, absolutely amazing.

Very, very well done.

Well, speaking of millionaires, we are collecting millionaire callers for a millionaire theme hour coming up. If you have a net worth of over a million dollars and your net worth is not your income, it's what you own minus what you owe your assets minus liabilities is net worth.

And if that's over a million dollars, then you can.

You can be a part of the show call and tell us how you did that, maybe you hit the lottery, maybe you inherited the money, maybe you're a rock star, maybe you're a teacher and you saved for 30 years and now you're a millionaire.

And that happens all the time, by the way. So all you got to do to to participate in that millionaire thing now is coming up with Chris Hogan. And me is go to Dave Ramsey, dotcom slash show, Dave Ramsey dot com slash show. Anthony O'Neal is my co-host today here on the air. If you want to join his family, just text a oh to 33, seven, eight, nine. He'll drop some encouragement in your inbox.

You'll be the first to get some of the exclusive content, the latest news of free resources that he's got.

I'll text a oh to three, seven, eight, nine. And he's also got a thing out right now called 20 Things Millennials Should Do. It's a list of 20 things that all millennials should do with their money. Text twenty things to thirty three, seven, eight, nine. I'm still befuddled, Anthony, about why millennials should do these things and nobody else should. Our Millennial special.

I mean. Well, because we are, you know, just want to say, you know, everyone is special. But to me, you know, millennials are special. And I think I just needed to be specific and tell these young people, hey, you want to be like Dave Ramsey, you want to be like Anthony O'Neal, you want to be like that successful person. We're here to try things they did in their 20s, mistakes to avoid and some things to accomplish.

Oh, so text twenty things. And that's the number to zero. Yes. Things two, three three seven eight nine. That's a free download, by the way. Free, free, completely free. Did we mention it's free? This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

Our scripture, the day verse Peter, five, two and three shepherds, the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly as God would have you not for shameful gain, but equally not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

Mexico says a man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. There you go. Kayla is with us.

Kayla is in Salem, Oregon. Hi, Kayla. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show.

I will search for you better than I deserve. How can Anthony not help my son in a little bit of a predicament? About three years ago, I bought a duplex with my mom. The whole goal was to fix it up, keep it for a few years, was there, obviously, and then turn around and sell it. Initially it was we it to split 50/50 and it was like away with some cash to go around on our own and so on and so forth.

We just bought it and now it has kind of blown up a little bit. So we are going back on the whole more 50/50 thing claims that that was never a deal and we profited about 150000 and thousand and going to get 15 or 20 of that hundred and fifteen thousand dollars that we made up of.

How is she in control of this?

Is it in her name? No, sir. We went to it, I guess, you know, together, both of our names are on the wall. Then she doesn't get to decide.

Yeah, that's going to be a difficult situation. So why we initially went into it was because she went through a divorce and so she couldn't afford to buy a house by herself.

That's not anything to do with this. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

So is your name on the deed? Is your name on the deed? Yes, sir.

Are there any written documentation as to this partnership that you entered into with your mother? No, unfortunately not. Which is why you don't do partnerships and why you don't do partnerships with family a man and you don't do them unless they're all in writing. And even then when they're in writing, sometimes they blow up on you.

So, yeah, I mean, how old are you? And I'm twenty four. So I bought it when I was 40. Yeah. So. OK. It wasn't born right. So the yeah, this was unwise. Obviously, you're realizing that now, but now. So the trick is this. If the house as a duplex sold.

Yes, there it is. I actually I mean, we have the check sitting with us again, both of our names. And I would have had to sit down and have this conversation with her. I'm really not sure, you know, where to push it or where that is. I guess push over that. I mean, I obviously don't want to ruin my relationship with her, but if you have to buy a relationship with someone that's called prostitution.

Right. Right. This is an that's not a real relationship when you have to pay for it. Right, when you're to pay someone to be your friend, they're not a real friend, right? We need to pay someone to be your mom. They're not a real mom. I'm so sorry this is so hard for you at 24 years old to face your domineering mother, who is a test pilot for a broom factory.

This is so hard from time to time.

I mean, I'm trying to start my life by poverty and that in your mind, if your mind is very, very clear that there was a 50 50 promise made. Yes, sir, and we and when we improve it, we split everything 50 50 as far as the outside and paid the taxes, you pay the bills, everything 50/50.

So I paid half of the mortgage every month. Everything that's absolute asinine that she wants more than 50 percent.

What did your mom why would she why she needs the money for something, doesn't she? Yes, so she has got a new shirt and we have forces that she went out and bought a new horse, trailers and stuff like that, and so she needs to play that stuff off in order for herself to go buy a home.

Yeah, I just got home. We have horses.

Well, she is very sorry, she has horses, she trains, horses, OK, you don't have partnership in horses with her too. OK.

OK, so listen, Kayla, this is going to this is going to be a very painful thing for you. And it's not your fault. OK, because you're not going to win, there's not going to be a win in this scenario, win, no way. Way to lose. No one is to do the wrong thing morally and let her get away with this bullying tactic and giving her more than half. That's why no one out of this.

That's not good. That sucks. Why? Number two is you say, mom, we paid 50 percent of the bills. This has been 50 percent. I'm sorry. You thought it was something else. It's not. We are going to the bank together. We are going to cash this check at the bank, and I'm going to put 50 percent of it into my account. You're going to put 50 percent of it into your account if that makes you angry.

I am so sorry. I'm not here to make you angry, but we are going to do the deal that we originally promised. And guess what? She's going to be angry.

Very. And that's going to suck. Yeah, because that's just your mom.

Yeah, and this is not the first time she's pulled crap like this either, is it? Now she likes to hold a lot of stuff over my head. I mean, one of the things that she merely told me when we talked about this a little bit was that she's taking care of me forever, you know? No, that's her freaking job.

She's a mother. I changed your diapers. Oh, you travel agent for a guilt trip. Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah, this this.

Let me know why she's divorced.

Oh, goodness gracious. Oh, my goodness. Calm down. Calm down now, man.

This because this is just wrong. I mean, he's a 24 year old daughter. Yes. Come on, lady. Have a have an ounce of morality. I'm an ounce of ethics in your life instead of pulling this crap. So yeah.

You need talu, you've got you've got to be very kind and calm and very strong and just say, Mom, I know you're not gonna like this and I'm sorry. It's not, it's not really I can't affect what you decide. All I can decide, all I can tell you is, is that we've decided 50 50 percent. I've always paid 50 percent of the bills. We've always known it's 50 percent. And that's not going to change. If you want to cash this check, we're going to do it together at the bank.

And 50 percent is going to go in my account and 50 percent is going to go in your account. It's not negotiable, Mom. Yeah, not it can be prepared for her to be angry and do her guilt trip dance and all the stuff that she does. Yeah.

Is there any do you have any siblings or someone who like in a family that can go and have that conversation with you, that can really have both goes back saying this is the right thing to do.

I'm no, I'm the only I'm an only child, but my dad, who just got divorced from his second marriage, so my dad, I mean, he's like, I'll get it.

But then her ex is not going to make her do the right day. You know, I don't I don't know if this is Boston, I don't I mean, I understand she made the trip of what she has to restart. And my boyfriend and I have now.

I don't really I don't really care about her problems, Dad.

I don't care about her else.

And don't allow your mom's problems to become your problems. Exactly. You know that those are my problems for a reason. As long as you can see this is an unfair situation for you to be in at 24 years old.

I'm so sorry you're there. Yeah, I'm begging you to do what you know when your heart is the right thing and to do it with great strength and with great kindness and with great courage and with no expectation of anything from her except a negative result. She's not going to be happy and you know that.

But if you make her happy, you're going to regret it the rest of your life that you caved to this woman. That's a bully. And it's just it's sad that your mom is acting this way. I'm so sorry for you, but please do the right thing and make her do what she's supposed to do. I mean, it's just so hard, so unfair to have to fight that battle when you're twenty four years old.

It is just some people's parents, you know. Wow. I put Cesira the Dave Ramsey Show in the books.

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