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[00:00:01]

We're back, we're back, it's a distraction, I'm Drew, that's wrong. Are you doing wrong? I'm good, man. How are you? We are. Last week we recorded the podcast on Wednesdays when at 11 a.m. and so we reported last Wednesday after the Democrats had clearly won the Senate, which some nice triumphant moment. But two hours before a white supremacist literally stormed the Capitol, busted the windows and held Congress and the Senate hostage.

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So it was forever emailing. I don't really Daisy, that sounds like I was like I was like I think this podcast might be a bit dated by the time of the being the professionals that they are.

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Our friends at Stitcher noted in the description that this was recorded before the incidents of whatever, which is instantly identifiable from within the first 30 seconds of the podcast, because you're like, what's going on?

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I'm like, everything's pretty good. I'm excited to talk about sports with my friends Dom and Drew. I have no other worry in the world.

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Yeah, I was like, feelin fine. I feel pretty optimistic about things. So anyway, so by the time this is posted. The White House has probably been nuked or something like that, so it's going to be very it's going be a very, very exciting interim period.

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Sure, season will probably go on as normal because much of that's in Canada.

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Whoa. Hey, did you say hockey? I did, though. Make it back. It's time for old time hockey with our special guest, Laura Tyson, Ilorin. Hey, guys. How's it going? You have to see Tim Horton's presents Laurentiu brought to you by Golden, Tim Hortons and Pizza, Pizza and Labatt.

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Lauren is our resident Michigander and NHL expert.

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She's here to help us preview the NHL season, which could begin this week. Except I just like to read this tweet from Capitals beat reporter Samantha Pelle, who said, HLN is a total of 27 players with confirmed positive covid-19 tests among nine different clubs during training camps.

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That includes 17 players on the Dallas stars or off to a rollicking start.

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Lura and how we do it. I have total blinders on about this. Like even if you're if you've been reading the site, it was like yesterday I read about the national championship game and how much this college football season depress me. And then today I just wrote my NHL preview and it's like, holy fuck hockey, God damn it, yes, let's do it.

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And it's like, I don't know, I don't necessarily feel great about it, but I'm just like I'm going to, like, kind of force myself to enjoy it. You have to learn to, like, exist.

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And that sort of bifurcated like being completely filled with dread because that's like the practical thing to do every day. But then also like, yeah, they're going to play hockey. You ought to get excited about hockey.

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Are going to just and I am really excited. I know. I know, buddy. I was really worried.

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You seemed like legitimately pissed when I said I'm here to talk to you. It's just having a laugh, just doing a bit. I mean, of course, I prefer talking to you about things other than hockey.

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You talk about Michigan basketball team. That would be. Yeah, it's thirty thirty point win against Wisconsin.

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We could talk about the scenic views of Mackinaw Island has been pronounced dead. Right. Who says no?

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Mexico fudge paradise. That's apparently not saying that in a weird way. That's apparently like the big thing there.

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Instead, that aside from the beauty of the nature, once you get out of the tourist trap area, it's beyond the punches being someone told me that they call tourists fudges there.

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Yes. Which I think is great.

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Back in the day is a long time ago, David Letterman had Arnold Schwarzenegger on to do the top ten list.

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And it was the top ten list of things you won't hear Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

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And one of them was not about the farje, which was great.

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Oh, I loved hearing you said good memory.

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I had a pretty good Schwarzenegger, to be honest. Well, because I stole the impression from my college friend Jay, who had done perfectly whenever we were drunk and stoned, he was like, come out, come out.

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Let me I'll come. I'll kill me.

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Yeah, you need to get it's like a whole like a setting of like a microclimate in your mouth and also in your brain in order to even attempt a Schwarzenegger imitation. I hardly ever do it except for on long drives.

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I will bother my wife if there's an old Navy or a Panthera. Those are both really funny words to say in a Schwarzenegger voice. I'll be like disappointed all over the way.

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Do you call Panthera? Yeah. What do you say? Panthera, Nera, Piñera? I don't whatever. I mean, it's not important.

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I thought you're doing a bit. I waited a bit. This whole thing's a bit. We're not talking about hockey. I want to know I wanna know more about this. So let's also say Old Navy. Oh yeah, that's obvious.

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But my when we lived in New York, my wife, she had a friend who called Duane Reade the drugstore a record like that's how she thought it was pronounced. Wow. And so now we always pronounce it on everybody. And my wife herself thought Lehigh University was pronounced Lahat. And so now as a joke, we always pronounce it her. But anyway, hockey, huh? Now.

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But what have we kept talking about, misty conditions for like an unreasonable long enough that we weren't able to talk about hockey. That would be fun, too.

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I can we can we talk about the arrangement of the league, Lauran, because I've read your your preview this week, the league rearrange itself, at least for this season or at least part of the season, into entirely new divisions, including an all Canadian division. Yes, correct. Yes.

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There's essentially like four separate leagues that won't cross paths until the playoffs against the Canadian division. You have the teams out west if the teams in the central U.S. and you have the teams in the east. And it's all basically because the Canadian government, like, refused to allow that much travel across the border.

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That's right. Because it was like baseball season when the Blue Jays were not allowed to play in Toronto.

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And the Raptors aren't either. They're down in Florida. Right. Right.

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So that makes sense. But also it seems to make sense. I know it'll all fall apart, but the NBA did not do as as severe a sort of podding. I mean, pot is such a generous term there.

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Yeah. I think you're still talking about people going from, you know, like Michigan to Texas. Yeah, like, yeah.

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Even like Colorado to California.

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The NBA is really doing this small thing, the NFL thing, where it's just everybody's flying the exact same number of miles to just play in identical empty stadiums.

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Yeah, well, the NBA thing is a disaster because there's five times as many games there inside. Like when I see the fans in like Memphis and Utah, like I can't watch it, like it's messed up.

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Like I can watch fans at a football stadium because it's outside, even like even Jerry World, even though that's not really in our.

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Or stadium, they have the best ventilation in the world. Yeah, I can sort of do I can sort of do that, but I draw like my conscious draws the line at indoor arenas and college football, like I didn't watch the college football national championship game on Monday night.

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So will they have fans in these stadiums, Lauren?

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I think it is up to them. Like I think Dallas is the front runner in terms of wanting to wanting to have people in their arenas.

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Interesting, because it seems like they're also leading in terms of a number of guys on the team that have the plague that's gone awry.

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Yeah, on coincidence, I think it's going to be like the NBA where the norm will be. No fans in the arena, but you'll have like a few teams pushing for exceptions.

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Will it be better than the drool bubble up in Canada that happened this summer? Better how? Well, well, OK.

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It won't be safer. I know that. Will it make for a will? Make for better. We'll make for a better television product and will it make for better hockey on the ice. And I don't necessarily think those two things are tied to one another.

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I'm pretty convinced that it the bad the hockey in the regular season just will never be as good as the hockey in the playoffs. That's pretty standard. I do. Well, that's it every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is interesting about this is that with the way teams are sort of divided into four pieces, everyone's going to be playing each other like nine times assuming the games happen, which is a big assumption to make. But you'll have, you know, like the what I'm really interested in is like Brady Check on the center will be going up against his brother Matthew on the flames nine times over the course of the season.

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And I want to see them fight at least one.

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So those are those are the children of Keith?

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Yes, the radicals. I was going to ask because I saw the name Kucuk like 9000 times the preview. And all I thought of was Keith KUCZEK because.

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Yes, I mean, it would be wylder if Canada was I mean, in if they were like, oh, there's like a lot of choux up here, actually.

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Yeah. Yeah. So if they're all going to play to the nine times then they're going to fight all the time.

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That's what I have. I hope it's like sparks and big rivalries.

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Is there is are there covid protocols in place for fights like before that.

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I know. Throw down gloves like do they have to put on masks.

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And I didn't even think about that. I mean, probably not. I'm sure they haven't legislated that.

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Maybe they will at some point as a way to kind of blame the players, throwing off your gloves and then offering your counterparty a gentlemanly squeeze of sanitiser on his hands before you start punching each other. That's how you do it. Yeah, we are right.

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We're in the week where we're Chiri went to a birthday or threw a birthday party when he was supposed to be, I don't know, having personal issues that were undisclosed.

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So we're already like the NBA's orig into the NFL thing of being like, well, those those players were out with the ladies of the night.

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That's why they're all getting covid. So I, I expect hockey to be doing the same thing and thinks that, too.

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But I want to ask, are players going to be mandated? This is such a stupid question. I should do my homework, but are they gonna be mandated to wear face shields on their helmets or they have no beliefs?

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So the big helmet changes. Here is the helmet advertisements, if anything rides.

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Right.

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The fucking helmet, as I again, I don't mean to keep fucking this particular chicken, but when we're talking about metaphore collapse, when we're talking about how there are things that, like everything is now strictly what it appears to be, the idea of not mandating any sort of facial, but putting like a team, you know, bank sticker on your helmet. That would be an example of metaphore collapse.

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Yeah, it's it's pretty brutal. And it doesn't really signal to the health of the league very well. I liked it.

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It was a tweet from the Pittsburgh Penguins on the 4th of January that said Our friends at P.G will be the first ever helmet and title over tweets about this have been so embarrassing.

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Thankfully, no of the Blue Jackets had to do a video. He's like, we're excited to get back on the ice this season, but we're even more excited to partner with, I don't know, exact thing. I bet they are. Yeah.

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I mean, yeah, it's fun to play the sport. You grew up playing for a living, but isn't it more fun to do it with, like a freakin Chevrolet logo?

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Homerton on your head. Yeah. Helmet entitlement partner is just such an incredible 21st century euphemisms.

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I guys are guided by Voices song title in a major way as well. Just that sort of three words that like faintly relate to each other and like what seems like maybe a satirical way, but not quite.

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We love it. I mean, I think we talked about this, but like, I'm more or less inured to advertising or courts and like, it's on NBA jerseys now. And I didn't really give a crap. Of course, soccer is like, you know, there's ads tattooed across like Renaldo's Forehead. Yeah. They look like NASCAR's. Yeah. I don't care. I don't care about that.

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There was something about having it on the helmet that didn't sit right with me. Like if they put ads on NFL jerseys, I don't think I'd really give a shit. But if they put it on the helmet like. NFL helmets are admittedly a lot different than NHL helmets. I'm curious to see how much I'm going to notice in action.

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I mean, I think you'll get used to it after, like, a few games.

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But the first time you see it, you'll be like, oh, that's true.

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That's the noise I plan to make. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true.

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But NHL helmets don't they don't they don't have the iconic quality that NFL helmets do, but they could like why how come goalies get all the cool headwear like you got to cover their face and everything.

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OK, ok, but why can't NHL helmet instead of staying on it. Why can't we do like champs. Yeah.

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Why can't you talk to them about it. Well you're the hockey person so I need you to go talk to Batman for me.

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I was really worried I'd be out of my depth during the NHL preview, but this is exactly like a SEAL team, except for the Drew being like, well, you know, every type of fries to watch hockey with all of you.

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Who is who's the best team in the league going into the season.

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So out of the West, I think you'd probably say the Colorado Avalanche and out of the east. I think maybe the Boston Bruins.

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Yeah, it's kind of the Bruins and the lightning are both still front runners, even though they're both dealing with injury issues. I'm so excited at the Golden Knights, though, like they're right up there in the West and they're one of the rare expansion teams maybe ever that's like really aggressively spending on free agents and trying to get good, like as soon as possible.

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They just were never bad, because I remember the first year that they existed, they went to the Stanley Cup finals, right?

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Yeah. The Caps in the finals. And the next year they had a really, really fluky seven game, first round exit. And then they went to the conference finals last year and now they're again, like really legit contenders.

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That's that's the easy thing that that could even happen. It's great. It's just what happens when you spend money and make smart choices.

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Yeah, well, I mean, the Rays did that when they started to they just spent that money, like just signing Greg Vaughn three straight times. This is obviously a much better organization.

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Is that a is that damning indictment of the NHL? Lord, is it like the Padres?

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If the expansion draft was a really damning indictment of the NHL in terms of just how savvy they were in building like a solid foundation?

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OK, I think and then I think that, like, early run gave them a lot of confidence to to go out and just do it.

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I don't know, just like pretty much everything they've done has worked out for them in the few things that happen, like the Fleury contract and the Thomas Gita thing. Both of those have been kind of papered over and they've been able to recover from it.

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So I think they're just like I don't think they necessarily make the rest of the league look stupid. They just seem really smart. How is the expression drafting?

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Sorry to I just am curious about this because I'm obviously thinking about how this might work in sports that I care more about. Was it like that the team's protected cheaper players and left higher salaried, more valuable players just like daring them to take them? It's sort of like to go back to the Raiders.

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It's sort of like what the Rays did with their bullpen where they just like we're somehow really, really good at identifying the guys that were overlooked by other teams like the Panthers in the wild. I think for two teams in particular that got guys like stolen from them, that they just didn't have a high opinion of whatsoever. But the knights were able to take them and mold them into into really?

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Yeah, that's actually fun of all the ways to sort of like worship front offices, like most of which I find really objectionable. That ability to like, I don't know, like pull pieces of like rare antique furniture off the curb is like I'm into it.

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Yeah. Who's the worst team in the league?

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It may still be the Red Wings. It pains me to say the Red Wings were like by a large, large, large margin, the worst team in the league last year. And like, they hopefully improve this year and be really awful if they don't improve. But I don't know that they can even make up the gap between them and the senators.

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Why do they suck? Because they they were the gold standard through the 90s. Yeah. And they just like kind of went for the present over the future, like every single opportunity they had into the into the twenty times they were so focused on keeping that playoff streak alive, which I don't mind at all, that it's just their continued success means they didn't get high draft picks. They were just consistently like taking veterans over prospects. And obviously eventually that comes back to bite you.

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And now they're in full, like the process mode.

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They're worse than the Ottawa senators, the team.

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They're far, far, far worse than the Ottawa.

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So that's quite that's quite bad. I didn't know who was possible to be there. One of the worst teams in natural history last year. Who are they? The most hateable team in the league?

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The Red Wings. Yes. Now, know who even is the most hateable? I guess the Bruins still, as long as they have Marsan, they sort of qualify the Penguins. Your mileage may vary on how much you want to still be up on Crosby and Malkin. I don't know. I don't know if there is like a really clear villain off. And there are teams that I find sort of like boring, who's both Arizona and Arizona coyotes. They don't score goals.

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They don't give up goals. Just like low scoring affair is out in the desert. Do they play the dreaded neutral zone trap? No, because they give up too many opportunities, I think, for that to count. But, yeah, they're just not very good.

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But they have a good goalie who is the most likable team in the NHL.

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I think the night's covering that the Carolina Hurricanes are still extremely likable. If you can get behind the whole like hockey and Carolina thing in the Hartford whalers betrayal like they have. Andre stress is maybe like my favorite young guy in the NHL right now. Real sort of like a.. Go getter, kind of a bulldog type, but also like a really, really good score at the hurricanes. And just like all the Canadian teams, the Vancouver Canucks, I think I wrote about a couple of days ago, they were doing like they're they're miked up videos.

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And it was just very adorable to watch them sort of bond on the ice of they're really talented youngsters.

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That was really the real wholesome blog. We fixed some of those in. There's been a lot of despair on the site.

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Lauren wrote, I think one of the best of the many angry blogs that we ran in the days after the I don't know what you call it, the attempted putsch or whatever, but then the whole someone was just like you basically watching these videos of like these guys, they get stuff busted on each other.

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Yeah, well, here's Patterson, Karen Hughes. They're all they're all really adorable.

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Professor, we basically did like a blog length version of what's better than this guys being dudes video.

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Yeah, it's exactly it's it's a really good time. Listen, like the sea shanty thing, it's a really good time for guys being to settle things somehow.

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It's weird, too, because it's also like the collapse of like an idea of civil society we all grew up with, but also like it's a real wholesome time.

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Yeah, it's a good time for Bitz. What are the odds a Canadian team will finally win the cup this year?

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Oh, God, I'm not going to say anything positive about the Toronto Maple Leafs tickets. They're just so first and so just so innocent that even if they look good again this year. Yeah, I don't really think they can do it. The Calgary Flames would be another big team that looks sort of primed to take a step forward and could be contenders.

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But no, I don't think a Canadian team wins the cup this year has been since 1993 when I was in high school. Hasn't been in my lifetime since the Canadians.

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Yet you were born after nineteen ninety three, is that correct? Yeah, it's pretty in ninety five. Oh my God. This is. Yeah. You got to know not to ask Florida.

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Not now.

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Yeah I, I'm over that like like it's really big of you but I'm not.

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So don't ask your father.

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Ever since like the advent of BuzzFeed, everything on the internet is like you think you feel old. Here's one. The Sound of Music came out. It's like, you know, it's like yesterday and it's like shut up.

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Just like is as if aging doesn't happen.

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But it yes, it's been a this time and I'm I'm silently rooting for a Canadian team to win. And I would like it to be the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though I think most of the NHL fans hate the Toronto Maple Leafs. Is that correct?

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Yeah, I like the Leafs. I went to like one of the last like normal things I did was go to a Toronto Maple Leafs game. Yeah. And I, I root for the Canadian teams almost uniformly when they get into the playoffs. So I wouldn't mind. And the Canadians, the Montreal team are another team that Canada could make a big jump this year and be sort of in the conversation, sort of if not for on contenders. So there's a lot of like linkable teams that I would root for if they go on a run.

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But we're still gonna end up with like Tampa versus Tampa anyway. It's nice. Maybe you are. Let's take a break and come back and maybe talk about some other things. Also, Roth, I looked it up. It's Piñera, not pintura you, obviously.

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How is that important? I've moved on and I've just. You moved out as well. I'm not old.

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I'm not so deep into hockey to you. All right. Well, we'll be right back. We're back and it's going to be easy for us to segway into the fun back from talking about the capital riot, so let's give that a shot right now.

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Yeah, as a bag of fun in its own, as a news story, I think everyone then the Segway is right there.

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By the way, I wrote about this this week, but I don't like it being called an insurrection because insurrection is too cool of a word. Yeah.

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Or haven't really been able to settle on a word. I know. I feel like it needs a formal title and I don't quite know what like I keep referring to it as the capital riot because it was it was a riot and the people participating in the riot deserved to be tarred as rioters and looters.

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The way that, you know, the way that BLM protesters are unfairly labeled that way this time the label was apt. So I feel like like calling the looting or the or the sacking of the capital, although sacking almost implies again.

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Yeah, you're talking about that makes it sound cooler, like this is just a bunch of fucking like boat guys, like rich boat guys who flew to DC to, like, deface Eric Swalwell s office at war.

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But like there were there were people like hunting for like Nancy Pelosi. Yeah, that's what I mean, is that like I'm saying, like, this is not but they're not Visigoths. They're buttheads. But yes, they were there. They were there to do violence.

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And I think a lot of them thought they would get to do it themselves.

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But I think the the people that were there to just like watch the military tribunals and summary executions that were just there for the show, I think it's honestly just as perverse to me.

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I actually I do believe because there were some people who are like, well, people were just going into the Capitol and I just wandered in because people were doing it.

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I can't believe there were like five guys who were just like, oh, yeah, OK.

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I guess we can go in with some people afterwards who claim that they thought they were like allowed in. I think I think because the way the police acted, they were sort of escorting them.

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And I believe that some of these people were really that fucking stupid. So and that minimizes it like calling because all of them were stupid.

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But of course, it minimizes the danger. And, you know, AOC today was talking about how traumatic it was that she couldn't you know, she couldn't trust over fellow lawmakers or police in the Capitol to protect her. And the police obviously failed. So obviously, it's just awful, awful thing that happened. So putting a name to it, like it's hard because. But, you know, I don't write about politics anymore, like like as a as a mandate, I mean, I still can.

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But like, to me, it's just this weird thing where. I'm going go way back, but it feels like it's it's all a game to these people and it's an evolution of humanity where. I'm going to go I'm going go even farther back and this will be the part that gets clipped and like people be like, what the fuck is you're talking about? But like, you know, I've lived in the age of guns all over America and guns, of course, you know, back in the eighteen hundreds were a survival tool, was a tool you had you know, if you were out living in the forest, you need it.

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You need to have a gun on you. You know, it helps to have a gun on you. You can you can kill animals, you can eat them. You can protect yourself from people who are gonna invade your tent or whatever.

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And at one point, humanity didn't really need survival tools anymore. Humanity became comfortable. They dominate. They took over the planet. They live in relative comfort. Even people who are not comfortable now are comfortable relative to the rest of nature. Like if you are you know, if you if you're broke or whatever, you're still doing better than like a squirrel.

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You're not.

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So anyway, so all the survival tools that we had, like guns, became recreational tools. So guns in the U.S. are purchased almost exclusively for hobbies and recreation, but they are not framed that way.

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They are sold as vital survival items and things.

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You need to keep all the all the you know, all the Blackwater status and talking or lifestyle.

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I mean, tremendous. That's like the the way that the market works, right.

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That you start with something that has this use. And then in order to grow that market, you brand it differently and you push it for different sorts of things. And like I mean, there's like, you know, you can't ever get somebody to, like, buy a gun because they're like, if you need to put nails into your wall, the only thing that works is the part of the you've got to use the butt of the gun to hammer it.

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It's like we've already got tools for most of the things that people actually need to do. That's right. Right.

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And you don't even need a gun to kill animals anymore because there's animals at the supermarket. So all of we have we're flooded with all of these dangerous, lethal things.

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And they're sold as a survival tools, even though they're really just entertainment. So all the people storming into the Capitol like, all right, I won't say all of them, but some of them were there as a form of perverse entertainment.

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Meanwhile, you know, you have like real lawmakers who are fearing for their lives and running for their lives and and staffers, too, and people who are also trying not to die of covid in the process.

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So there's this insane you know, what happened on last Wednesday is to me, the sort of apex of of mankind not really understanding, you know, how you know, how thoroughly unnecessary its fears and its and its anger is at itself.

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I'll go one better on that.

[00:25:48]

Briefly, though, because there's a point that Lauren made that I want to touch on, too, in her story from last week, that to me, everything that you said sounds more or less correct to me.

[00:26:00]

I don't know about the better than a squirrel thing. I think that's relative. But I think that you've got.

[00:26:03]

Yeah, I know. The second I said it, I was like, you know, if you're sleeping on a park bench, you're not doing this.

[00:26:09]

But I do think that, like, in the same way that we're talking about a thing that is like effectively like vestigial to like a functioning society, but that has been like raised and raised and raised in importance.

[00:26:22]

I think that, like, you look at the the rhetoric that was used, you know, Mo Brooks talking about like, you know, your ancestors gave their blood and their lives for this. Like, are you going to let them take it away? Will you do the same?

[00:26:34]

Like, to me, like the actually like the stuff that looks like overtly insurrectionist language, Trump is too much of a mincing weirdo to actually say the shit straight, which is like, I don't know that that indemnifies him or whatever, but him being like we might not be clapping for some of them who might be very rude for us or whatever like that is like how I don't know if it gets them away with anything.

[00:26:55]

But in all of this, it's like that language is not new Limbaugh was talking on the radio about like that, you know, about random Clinton era shit like that when I was a kid. It's just that at some point you can't keep saying that stuff.

[00:27:10]

You can't keep reemphasizing and underlining and raising the stakes on it and not expect people to take you fucking seriously.

[00:27:17]

That's the thing. We're we're listening to people. Who are unnecessary and who have viewpoints that are completely unnecessary, just the continued flourishing of mankind, but it's also like they're it's all outdated.

[00:27:33]

They're taking this shit on faith that was never, I think, tendered in good faith. But this idea of being like you're the real Americans, like the Americans that matter, the Americans who count are like our small business owners.

[00:27:45]

There are law enforcement officers where all the sort of like protected classes of the, you know, like not even really protected, but the most valorized classes.

[00:27:53]

Yes. And it's like if you're a member of that and then your guy that you like loses an election because people that you've been told are not real or have been, you know, acculturated to believe are subhuman because they voted in greater numbers than you then like this is the response that you'd get.

[00:28:09]

Of course, it's going to be like violent and incoherent like this doesn't to them this like goes against God.

[00:28:15]

The thing that I want to talk to learn about or have learned put you on the spot with it.

[00:28:21]

So she wrote a piece that was forgive me if I'm getting the headline wrong.

[00:28:24]

It's I don't know what the answer is here, but it's not more cops. And I think of all the things that I've heard the rioters called, the only one that really gets my back up is terrorist because not like they weren't trying to do terroristic things.

[00:28:36]

It's just that term is so loaded and we already know how badly the state responds when that word's involved.

[00:28:44]

Yeah, that word has been used. It's a word that it should honestly be retired because of the way it's used to sort of like be once you're sort of labeled a terrorist by the government, it means you really no longer have rights and it doesn't really matter what happens to you.

[00:28:57]

And that's just a dark and tough road to go down.

[00:29:01]

But, yeah, just in general, like, I think my fear that, like, the worst possible response to this would be just like giving more power to the people who in the summer of twenty twenty taught us anything like we should trust the absolute least in your kind of even seeing it with the Capitol Police, trying to reckon with the fact that like a dozen of their members, maybe more like sympathizers or like actively aided or was like a part of that mob or a group of rioters or whatever you want to call it.

[00:29:27]

Like it's just yeah, it's hard to I don't really have much to say because I feel like the response to it would be to like I mean, the reason that the FBI doesn't spy on Americans in the way that like if the CIA spies on people in foreign countries, is that like it's against the fucking law, like it came out that they used to do that.

[00:29:48]

They did it to the Black Panthers and they did it to the Klan. But it was like they violated civil rights. And so in the 70s, they changed the laws so they couldn't do it anymore.

[00:29:55]

Yeah, I think that's what gets me about this is like the the powerlessness you're kind of feeling. We're like it's I don't think like using the using the might of the state to crush these are these insurrectionist is necessarily the right way to go. But I don't have, like, another solution, like like the stuff was set in motion like so long ago that like the fact that you really can't seem to do much to change the way that these people think or act even.

[00:30:22]

It's just very difficult to me, by the way, one other term, because that needs to be retired, a small business owner, because now, if you'll talk about small business owner, you're talking to a small business owner.

[00:30:33]

We're small business owners and even we don't really count because we're doing well, like a small business owner is like a dude who runs like a taco truck. But like when politicians talk about small business owners, they're talking about like the guy who owns Cisco. Yeah, you know, that's the delight of it.

[00:30:49]

But basically, it's just a way of saying, like, person who has money that they might give me, but in a way that's like flattering to them. Yeah.

[00:30:55]

Like, what are we going to do about small business owners like Jeffrey Lurie? Like, what are we going to do? What are we doing for for mothers and fathers like them?

[00:31:02]

One that was they were trying out for a little while, which I absolutely loved.

[00:31:07]

It seems like they're pumping the brakes on it, but they were trying to do that kind of like like people centered language about rich people.

[00:31:15]

So, like, they would insist on being called people of means.

[00:31:18]

I don't remember that. I think we're going to say of color like I'm like a person of stocks like like the like the Different Strokes theme. So I'm like I'm so used to it means that's different strokes.

[00:31:32]

Yes. I say do not say no to world.

[00:31:35]

No, I'm just doing the lyrics. I can't really put some some bass in that though. That sounds good.

[00:31:40]

Well because yeah. Because they, they, they had people with bass voices. It's true. Everybody knows this but does it because. Yeah. That was years before Lauren was born. Doesn't count.

[00:31:51]

Let's get into the the poisoned chalice. This is from Lauren because I was going to I was gonna do it to use like kind of a typo.

[00:32:00]

Yeah. No, it was actually it was not the typo. I'll just do it now. It was from deadline and they they called Desi Arnaz, Desi Ricardo. But really the poison to me was that Aaron Sorkin was directing about being the Riccardo's, about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, starring Nicole Kidman, Javier Bardem and Aaron Sorkin.

[00:32:20]

Lucille Ball.

[00:32:22]

I love it, and even though, like even though I have grudging respect for Aaron Sorkin is a writer, like The Social Network is a fantastic movie as a director, like if I saw Molly's game, if you want a movie that looks like an episode of network television from 1999, that's your director like a hundred percent.

[00:32:42]

Anyway, so curious about how Aaron Sorkin is going to find a way to write a scene in being the Riccardo's where Desi, like lecture's Lucy on the power of television. That's right.

[00:32:55]

Someone was like, oh, yeah, I can't wait for, you know, within the five minutes more of the male characters giving his entire resume on screen.

[00:33:03]

So anyway, this from Lauren. And this was something she found in the New York Daily News. It was an op ed by Alan Dershowitz called the Sheldon Adelson. I know Sheldon Adelson died this week, the Vegas casino magnate.

[00:33:16]

All right, Boyata, we loved him. Alan Dershowitz, who lags only behind Rudy Giuliani in litigator's, just owning themselves to high hell over the pathetic quintuple checks.

[00:33:26]

This article to make sure it wasn't published by The Post.

[00:33:28]

It was a while that it wasn't. It's insane to me that it was. Someone pointed out that after she was arrested that Dershowitz also wrote a column called The Julian Maxwell that I know. Yes. I thought people were Photoshopping that.

[00:33:43]

No, I think he might be Photoshopped. I don't know. Navasota positive 31.

[00:33:49]

I like I like Dershowitz is the guy who out of the blue will tweet like. To be clear, I never, ever had sex with a follower.

[00:33:56]

It's real. He wrote it just automatically. So I'm like every day from the good.

[00:34:02]

We've already drank enough poison already to get into the durch stuff.

[00:34:06]

That's like my parents were at a wedding once on a boat and the boat ran out of power and they just drank everything while they were waiting for a tow back to port. The other guests and they told me that the last thing was just the people just holding bottles of like dry vermouth, just drinking straight out of the bottle.

[00:34:23]

And once you're down to the first level of the poisoned chalice like you are straight up drink in that vermouth.

[00:34:28]

The thing is, I saw you know, I still I still think of him as as Ron Silver in Reversal of Fortune, which is a fantastic movie and like and made Dershowitz look like a really, really smart person.

[00:34:40]

He is no longer that person if he ever was.

[00:34:43]

So I I think reversal of fortune gave Alan Dershowitz far, far more credibility than he's ever deserved.

[00:34:50]

And it's just painful, painful to watch him. He's given it back. Hey, won't play Derrick canceled. Lauren Tyson. Yeah. I want to give it a shot. All right. You ready?

[00:35:00]

This might be someone who who thrived before your time. You never know if it's a good bet. Actually, you have to tell me they might have enough.

[00:35:06]

You have to tell me whether they're dead or canceled. And your clue this week, Luciano Pavarotti.

[00:35:13]

Is Pavarotti dead or canceled, Lauren?

[00:35:16]

Oh, I think he's dead. But there is like a famous guy in his group, Placita Domingo's canceled. But I think Pavarotti is that.

[00:35:24]

That is correct. Pavarotti is dead. He was also a tax cheat. But he's he's dead. Yes, I think it was Domingo. Well, yeah, one of the Three Tenors was not happy about cancel culture or something like that.

[00:35:34]

But but no, I think it was worse than out there. Oh, God, I should double check this before I'm positive, but I'm pretty sure that they would like me to type things against him. Oh, that's right.

[00:35:45]

That came up on shuffle for me recently. I think it might be like the piano. OK, he's got to allegations of sexual harassment. Wikipedia. Oh yeah.

[00:35:53]

Oh yeah. When you add the section, the whole section on Wikipedia dedicated to that, it's bad.

[00:35:59]

That's how you know you've made it though. Yeah. Like a Wikipedia page and it's got like early life on an allegation.

[00:36:06]

Like it's like life career weatherman's car accident.

[00:36:10]

Use of the N-word. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:36:13]

Like I don't know what like because my daughter is fourteen and like she, she watches horror movies now, like she watched Zodiac without me knowing it. And I was like I was like, are you all right.

[00:36:23]

Like you OK. She's like, yeah, I'm fine. I was like, OK. And I was like, well maybe we could watch True Romance, but like, no, you have the hopper walking scene. You're not to have to show that to a kid in in twenty twenty and there could be able to let that slide.

[00:36:37]

They're going to be like yeah. Watching just the most brutal fight scene between James Gandolfini and Patricia Arquette with your daughter and being like, yes, the girls can do anything terrible.

[00:36:48]

Don't do that. I would just like it noted that that scene was cut like it's even more violent than the final cut because there was like an extended version on HBO where you see her gun Gandolfini down after like she stabbed him with the glass shard and then she grabs a shotgun and blows him away. But they they got rid of that, which is a shame because, you know, it's what Gandolfini deserved in the movie.

[00:37:13]

In the movie in real life, of course. Very generous, very gracious man. Great performance.

[00:37:17]

That movie is like maybe the peak of like. Tarantino, like just in terms of it being like a few really good scenes separated by like just a guy doing an Elvis imitation for no reason, like it is like the alpha and omega of like what is good about him and what is not.

[00:37:34]

I can't I can't prove that it's a flawless motion picture. It's 3D motion picture of all time.

[00:37:38]

All right. I'm not 100 percent. I like it fine. But whatever has it, you know, it's a flawless movie. I think what's good in it is Tony Scott is that's like the stuff that I like the most is the Tony Scott stuff.

[00:37:49]

Tony Scott is not as revered as he ought to be a better director than his brother.

[00:37:55]

That's right. I said it it Laurentiu, you want this degree, you can just get the guy the week. Lauren Tyson, now the guy to be your guy.

[00:38:03]

The week is Shawn Marion.

[00:38:07]

That's a dude. That's a dude. If I ever heard. Do you do you find him more dude ish than guy ish. Yeah, totally.

[00:38:12]

If you can dunk like he could think you're automatically like.

[00:38:16]

Sometimes I worry that my age has made me, you know, guys who are far too prominent or too recent in my end, like feel very duties to me and like might be more guy ish to the Yong's.

[00:38:29]

And so I'll give you a guy that I really like, that Phoenix Suns team back when I was a kid, Leandro Barbosa. Yeah.

[00:38:37]

That was a guy he was a spurs to for a while, right? I think so.

[00:38:41]

I believe that a lot of teams the thing with Marion is that he spent a lot of his career as a guy, like he was a full on dude for like eight seasons. And with Phoenix, he was like really one of the best all around players in the league. But then he like.

[00:38:55]

Really? Yeah, he everybody likes Steve Nash, his backup. No, Omarion, I'm talking about not liano Marion. Yeah. The but then but like Barry and then also like did spend a lot of his.

[00:39:05]

Yeah. That sort of gracious end of career arc where you're like on a championship team as like their fourth best guy or whatever. And that's a good way to go out. No, not the not the most aesthetically pleasing shot form on merit, but time for the fun bag and we're get right into it.

[00:39:24]

This is going to be deep, Lauren. And this one's from Ian. You're ready. Uh, are Ian writes in, Suppose the vaccine doesn't take hold for whatever reason.

[00:39:33]

Dave McKenna is listening closely and another bug comes along and we're never able to attend live sporting events the way we used to would knowing you can't ever go to the game eventually kill off interest you have in any of the major sports and grit my teeth and get over it for a year or two.

[00:39:48]

But after that, I don't know. I might end up doing other stuff. How long, Lauren, can you consume covid tainted sports and still want it?

[00:40:00]

That's a tough question. I think if I think this year has taught me anything, it's that I can get used to anything. Yeah. Which is sort of a depressing thought. But I think eventually, like, you'd basically be taking off the human interaction out of sports and. I don't know, I assume in this world, like sports, bars also don't exist. It's not like watch parties. There's not. Yeah, yeah. They getting together.

[00:40:22]

Yeah. Let's say no sports bars either.

[00:40:24]

Yeah. I don't think I don't think you can do that because, you know, sports as they are now are not like a particularly great entertainment product without the the crowds and with the players sort of clearly kind of not really being all that into it. So you know, eventually they would die out.

[00:40:42]

I was strangely excited for the NBA season to start up again after the Lakers won and then without without the without the Zoome fans and and basically with the players just sort of shuttling in and out like like we're at the point with covid protocols already where, you know, you see NBA stars more as cameos and as a regular like a regular court appearances.

[00:41:06]

I felt I got back into my sort of regular dismissing of the NBA regular season. I'm like, oh, I just remembered like, oh, yeah, I don't really give a fuck.

[00:41:14]

Yeah. I think it's like your body clock is used to not caring about the NBA for, like, this period of time every year, like in January, you're like not well I'll get to it in March or whatever. And like it doesn't matter that the season just started and that like, you know, whatever supposedly interesting things are happening, like your whatever, like some part of your brain is switched on and now you're out of it.

[00:41:36]

I don't know how long I'd be able to hang in there with that. I for me, for sure, with baseball last year, like, I cared a lot less because I couldn't go to games.

[00:41:44]

And and, like, I was surprised that I mean, also the Mets were bad.

[00:41:48]

Like, I'm not going to act like this was a, you know, 100 percent like enlightened. It was like at some point it's like if things are bad enough, you don't also need to watch Edwin Diaz give up a back breaking home run like you could just do something else.

[00:42:01]

But there was like that element of like being at games and being around other people and like even just like the shitty train rides to and from and stuff like it's so ingrained in me is like a part of it that the idea of just.

[00:42:16]

Like, I don't go to NFL games, like hardly ever. Like, I haven't been to an NBA game in a minute, like I used to go all the time, you know, but like baseball games are the sort of thing where, like, if I can go, I'll care about it. And if I can't, then, you know, it's just another TV show among many. And I think it would be hard for me to stay as long as into it.

[00:42:33]

Lauren, you said earlier that, like, you know, this year has proven that you can get used to a lot of things.

[00:42:37]

And I have I've gotten used to like I'm I'm fully into this NFL season.

[00:42:43]

Like I can say everything I want about Schefter being a chippy cheerleader dipshit, about, you know, oh, well, no one died this week.

[00:42:50]

The games are on, but like, I'm still watching the games and like, very, very intensely interested in even what like like there's enough fake crowd noise and stuff like that for me to not really worry all that much and sort of a new adjustment for every sport, I think.

[00:43:05]

Yeah, I had that early awkwardness and then kind of recalibrate.

[00:43:09]

And even though it's easier with the NFL, because I think of that as a fully TV product in the first place, that could be there.

[00:43:15]

But the other thing is that, you know, you can look at as depressing that you have to get used to things being the way they are now or or you can look at it as a triumph of perseverance, a, you know, a demonstration that you are built to adapt to difficulty and to get through it.

[00:43:34]

Have Americans done when it comes to sports specifically, though?

[00:43:38]

It does feel like I'm just going to I'm just going to eat it no matter no matter how bad it is.

[00:43:42]

Yeah, that's kind of it. I think I'm going to keep doing it. I don't I don't know why we do one last email.

[00:43:49]

I think this was relatively easy and it's stupid. So that's what we ought to.

[00:43:53]

And that's where I learned this from Sean. It's Halloween, considered part of the holidays now.

[00:44:00]

But All Saints fans wait. What's that? They said to ask for Halloween.

[00:44:05]

My Catholic, it's doing that also like a boy band or something else. I was a girl band.

[00:44:12]

Oh, yes. All it was all singing.

[00:44:15]

Never heard of these people were like, yeah, this is like 98 degrees era like polic.

[00:44:21]

You can imagine it Lauran.

[00:44:22]

It's like some girls with like long straight hair kind of wish for some reason it looks like they're inside like the Tokamak.

[00:44:31]

God.

[00:44:33]

Yeah. And I don't remember what the songs were like.

[00:44:36]

Let's begin the day after Halloween. I don't happy holidays to someone on Halloween is fucking hilarious and I can't wait to do it this year.

[00:44:44]

By the way, I don't agree with that at all. I think I think the holidays begin on Thanksgiving. Yeah. I don't. I don't I don't I don't wanna bring October.

[00:44:54]

I mean or I went by early calendar like by when they start showing Christmas movies, then like the holidays begin in like the second week of October. Yeah.

[00:45:03]

And when they start playing Christmas music on the radio, well that's then it begins in April.

[00:45:07]

The thing that bugs me so much and I'm just going to get this out here before the end, is that they'll play Christmas music on the radio in early November, but they won't do it on December twenty six. Maybe that's a very specific group of about one hundred point three in Michigan.

[00:45:17]

But that I think that is specific is there are there are stations here where I live that will do it through New Year's, but they would like stop at midnight on Christmas and it was stupid.

[00:45:30]

That is especially like these better songs for Christmas. You could keep that going through like that week before New Year's. At the very least, people are still in that mindset.

[00:45:37]

I don't I don't know, like by the time December twenty, by the time Christmas day after noon arrives, I'm like that another shit burned this tree.

[00:45:48]

I am enjoying the idea, though. Again, it's continuing to. Now, I've decided that Halloween is part of the holidays, the idea of lawn making that identical complaint.

[00:45:56]

But with the monster mash really doing it for me right now, you do the monster mash all the way. Until yesterday I was like and I think that's that's it.

[00:46:05]

Like you stop doing the monster mash at Thanksgiving, but you can do it of like between Halloween and Thanksgiving is fair game. Yeah, that's the thing.

[00:46:11]

Like a graveyard smash. Yeah. Halloween has one song. Thanksgiving has one song.

[00:46:16]

It's a joke song by Adam Sandler. New Year's has new as one song by Ella Fitzgerald that I Can't Stand and Auld Lang Syne and Auld Lang Syne, which is like whatever.

[00:46:28]

And then New Year's Day only has there's a leap year day by U2, which I think of, even though that's not New Year's Day.

[00:46:33]

So, yeah, that's definitely a song about New Year's troubles or whatever. Walkmen and Death Cab, both of them off hand. That's true.

[00:46:42]

Well, that is good to know. And now we must close out this special holiday podcast by wishing you good bye.

[00:46:50]

And I hope that we survive to next Wednesday in which we will record another joyous podcast before something like before Joe Biden is kidnapped.

[00:47:00]

But let's let's hope for the best. Yeah, maybe maybe it's not the podcast that's causing bad things to happen and they just happen on their own. We'll know better next week.

[00:47:08]

Yeah, we will. Daisy Nix is the producer. No, Brandon Nix is the producer and engineer. Daisy Rozario is our executive producer. Our theme songs by the immortal Kirk Hamilton, you can listen to ad free episodes of the Distraction only on Stitcher Premium. And thanks to us, you can get free month of stitcher premium right now.

[00:47:26]

Just goes to show premium dotcom and use the promo code to track dropkicks rate review and subscribe wherever it is that you listen and go. Subscribe to defector Dotcom too, and go to a store dotcom to right now because there are new shirts up on one of them. Yeah, I'm too modest to mention it, but yeah, you were about to but yeah. Go ahead, tell me about it. I'm going to buy one Bainwol for my mom. I cannot wear a shirt that has me on it because he either though that crosses the duche threshold so clearly and enough lines have been crossed.

[00:47:56]

Maybe we can work something out where I wear the Shepton T-shirt and you wear the Growth Guys T-shirt and then we both are too embarrassed or remarkable. We could we could do that. Hey, Lauren Tyson, you are fantastic guest. We come on again. Yeah, totally. Oh, that's music to my ears. All right. We'll see you guys. Bye bye. Says.