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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, The Jimmy Doors show.

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Hello, this is Jimmy.

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Who's this? What the hell is going on? Is this Al Pacino unevolved? I don't even know anymore, Jimmy, up is down, down is up, am I Albertina or Frankie Valli?

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Well, which one is able to go ahead?

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I guess it's Al. What's wrong, Mr. Pacino? For my own mental health, I was taking a news break for about a month, a break from the news ever since I started doing the horse shit. I said I can't do this anymore. And so I took a break. But I finally turn on the news today. What the hell is going on, Jimmy? I got to turn to you and stuff. OK, well, see, the president got going.

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Yeah, yeah, he's he tested positive. Oh, that's actually pretty funny. Let's be honest.

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Yes, just as it is that go around and find out as a kid, say just the thought of him quarantined alone in some hospital room.

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No, no, no.

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He's back at the White House, Al. Why he was quarantined in a bunker down there somewhere. No, he's walking around in the Oval Office in such a sort of shock.

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Yes.

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Yeah, well, all right. At least I hope no one else got sick.

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Almost everyone has become sick. Why, because of the president, apparently, yes. Oh, sure. Well, at least he can get back to work and get the stimulus passed before Congress adjourns.

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No, at actually now, actually. Well, he told Mitch McConnell to cease all efforts on stimulus negotiations until after the election and focus on getting his Supreme Court nomination approved. Did I hear a man stood up and walked across to me?

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I know it's a lot to take. Jeremy, I can just try carved out Al. Don't tell me to calm down. I'm confused and frightened and hungry, mainly hungry. I don't know if you know this about me. Not to me. I'm always hungry. Right. Right.

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Do you have any pastrami? No. Son of a bitch.

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Oh, well, you know, I'm not really a conspiracy guy, but part of me is thinking maybe none of these people are sick at all that creating a giant hoax because somebody is about to release damning financial information about Donald Trump.

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Well, actually, just last week, The New York Times ran an article claiming that Trump has paid almost no personal income taxes the past 10 years. And he's one hundred of millions of dollars in debt. And as the situation, as some claim, creates a national security threat. Well, fuck me on top of Old Smoky Mountain. Whoa, that was in the newspapers.

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Yes, well paid by Dienel. Nobody can go back and lay me down on all Dalbandin to die like a girl and finger.

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And people are still you know, they're still talking about to say so.

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No. OK, I can't do this anymore.

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Too stressful. No, I'm running out of outlandish ways to articulate, shock and surprise, I assume this could go on for a while. Yeah. Oh yeah.

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We could be we could be out of for a while. All right, I tell you what, I'm going to go offline again for another four weeks. So what would that be, Wednesday, November 4th? So just to pick a random date out of a hat for weeks, we'll try this again. And please, Jimmy, can you try not to blow my fucking mind, OK?

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I can't really make any promises. Well, November four, don't fuck this up.

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Establishment, just like in something like bull bullshit they can't afford to miss. Oh. This jagoff, the median speeds and jumps, the median had some head on the chin to show.

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Everybody, welcome to this week, Jimmy Dawesville, let's get to the joke before we get to the joke, shall we? Hey, you know, it's nice to know that no matter how bad things get, there's always someone willing to go that extra mile and call you about your vehicles, extended warranty.

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And, you know, Trump was released from the hospital Monday night.

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This could only mean one thing. That bastard, Walter Reed, was a Russian asset waiting for Trump to leave. A hospital has become the new empty podium. The coronavirus, the coronavirus could take out Trump's whole administration and the Democrats would probably still lose. Yes.

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Hey, you heard Kamala Harris is reassuring voters she'll handle the vice presidential debate like she would any prosecution by ignoring evidence and pinning everything on the poor. Yesterday, President Trump agreed to sending every American another 100 dollar stimulus check, but only if he gets to cough on a first true story. Hey, I just endorsed your asking if there's anything more you can do for me after doing absolutely nothing for me. Skills on LinkedIn. Hey, what's coming up on today's show?

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Well, Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi, who will work harder to not help the American people during the coronavirus pandemic. The answer just may surprise you. Or will it? Hey, Obama shows his deep contempt for young voters once again. And what are the reasons half of Americans don't vote? Plus, Biden says we should believe science, and yet he still supports fracking. A propaganda network funded by the U.S. and the U.K. has been exposed in leaked documents.

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Plus phone calls from Al Pacino, Chris Christie, Liam Neeson and Herman Cain. Plus, a lot, lot more. That's today. Jimmy Dorsa.

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So, hey, here we go, everybody. Hey, headline in Politico, Half of Americans don't vote. What are they thinking? I don't know. They're probably thinking whether they're going to pay rent or buy groceries.

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That's what they're probably thinking, political. Maybe that's our fate. Maybe they're thinking that our fake democracy was bought and sold by special interest years ago. Or honestly, it could be I already voted in American Idol, so I feel like I did my part. I think that's probably what they're thinking. Well, let's see, let's see, let's look and let's let's take a dive. The sheer size of the group, approximately 92 million eligible voters make it potentially make it a potential wild card in the 2020 presidential election.

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So that's what we always hear, a saying hundred million people don't vote. So I guess the exact number is 90 to according to Politico.

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We round up here at the Jimmy Dawesville. So there are 92 million people who are eligible to vote in America that don't vote. Oh, my God. And what did the Democrats do at their convention? Did they reach out to those people know?

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Who do they reach out to? They reached out to Republicans, people who are already voting Republican. That's what they're trying to get to vote for them, not the 92 million people who don't vote. But remember, if Biden loses, it's the Green Party's fault. Just remember that. So and the political world, the political world understood what keeps them away from the polls and more importantly, what might lure them to the polls in the first place.

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In other words, if the political world was actually interested in governing, that's not voters are an eclectic faction with distinctive blocs that support Democrats and Republicans but don't show up to cast their ballots and an even larger group that is alienated from a political system it finds bewildering, corrupt or irrelevant or some combination thereof.

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Those are all nicer words than I use, those bewildering, corrupt and irrelevant, I use irredeemably shitty.

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These voting blocks are so large that when a campaign is able to motivate even a portion of one, it can swing an election, which may have been what allowed Trump to bust through the blue wall in the Great Lakes region in 2016 and Barack Obama to flip North Carolina, Virginia and Florida and Indiana.

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Into 2008. Boy, that blue wall, that must have been what kept Hillary out of those places to the blue. All right. Remember, that's not the real reason Hillary didn't go to Wisconsin. She didn't have a boat that could cross Lake Michigan.

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The disconnected voter. Are less informed, intentionally not informed, they're turned off from politics, so in other words, there's a good chance they watch cable news.

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Mm hmm. Jimmy, don't you don't completely understand being intentionally uninformed now. Yes. Look, I don't want to I don't want to know what's happening.

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I have half the time my. These are people who are generally below the poverty line with a lot of job turnover and family disruption, whose lives are busy living paycheck to paycheck, you don't really have a lot of time to watch the news or devote.

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It's almost like this is by design or something. It is justified cynicism and entirely rational distrust of participating.

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Oh, come on, what what contemporary political system hasn't screwed working people over for 40 years straight and counting, cuma.

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When they have engaged with the system, when these nonvoters have engaged with the system, it's screwed them. Well, it's kind of screwed them over. You go to the DMV to get your driver's license and you find out you have an old speeding ticket you can't pay. You get hurt and go to the hospital and you get a really big bill. You vote and your name will be on file somewhere and you're called up for jury duty. Every interaction with the machine brings a hardship.

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I like how they go when they've engaged with the system, it kind of screwed them over, kind of. Kind of screw them over. Yeah. If you do vote, it might not be counted or that the candidate more people voted for doesn't win anyway, or they're superdelegates, they can hijack the vote or somebody randomly flips a coin. You know, any number of things could go wrong.

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So they wouldn't engage in the system, the person who gets the most votes doesn't win, oh, when they engage in the system, the person who gets the most votes loses on a coin toss are. When they engage in the system, the person who gets the most votes loses because the superdelegates are. I wonder why they don't engage more in the system. Joe Biden, the rich donors, nothing would fundamentally change if he was elected now. Now, there's a message that folks can really get behind.

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Can't say he's not just being honest.

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Along with praise for the civility of racist's, Biden assures donors no one standard of living will change. So if you wanted your standard of living to change, why would you vote for that guy? You're going to be part of the intentionally uninformed. If you can turn an 18 year old on to voting, that person becomes a voter for life, says David Thurn. Borrow the game. The campaigns don't play. That's a game. The campaigns don't play because it's a long term payoff, not a short term one.

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If you could turn an 18 year old on to voting, that person becomes a voter for life. But we'd rather send them to the Middle East to go fight a war for oil. We could turn them on to killing. Hey, just what is it about Bernie Sanders that young voters love? I don't know, he offers them things. The sheer quantity of information out there now is making it hard to be informed, according to Politico. With the Internet age, it's hard to tell what's the truth, even on television during the election season.

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There's one commercial after another and they go back and forth contradicting each other completely.

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Unless you want to make it your life's mission to sort it all out, it's really hard to get a good opinion. OK, this is not a new phenomenon because of the Internet. We've never it's always been hard to tell what the truth is because of the regular fuckin news. Do you ever read manufacturing consent to any of these people who write who are journalists in America? Have you ever read the seminal work on journalism in America called Manufacturing Consent? No, who wrote this damn article in Politico?

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Before the how about direct war, how was it easy to get clear information on the run up to the Iraq war? How was it easy to get information about Libya? How about was it easy to get information about Syria and the gas attacks? How about Venezuela? No, you guys do the fucking bidding of the military industrial complex every time. It's not new, this isn't new, this is what you know what this is, we need to start censoring stuff.

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That's what that is. So hard for me to figure out what's right and wrong, everybody gets to write any one thing they want. Some of the reasons that people weren't voting was because they weren't being asked to vote, says Indiana University political scientist Bernard Praga.

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Campaigns job campaigns job is to convince people their vote matters and that they are part of something. Well, how can my vote matter when there's no policy or how can your vote matter when you tell that guy that's asking for your vote to do something for you and he tells you, go vote for Trump?

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That's what Joe Biden does repeatedly go vote for Trump. But my vote matters, go vote for Trump, Joe Biden told me to go vote for Trump. Or the other Biden. Guess what, Joe Biden's not doing campaigning. Guess who is Trump's campaign knocks out a million dollars a week. Biden knocks on zero. The diverging responses to covid-19 could be a wild card in November, especially in close races up and down the ballot. Is that a black person knocking at the door for Trump?

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That is that's what they're alluding to. You could see that Trump had gotten all these people who had never voted before and made them really feel like part of the process. If you're the only person you know who's voting, you're not going to do it. But at the Trump rallies, there was this forum where they were welcomed in and he didn't sneer at them or or ask anything of them and they felt like a member or something. Member of something.

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They felt like a member of something. Remember the enthusiasm, this is what's called enthusiasm. You think Joe Biden, that's going to happen for Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris or any other walking death rattle that the Democrats throw on stage? So that's why people will vote every time they engage in the system, they get screwed. And if you read the article, which I wish I had handy. After 2016, The York Times went to Wisconsin barbershops and asked minority voters how they voted, they didn't vote for Hillary Clinton.

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Of the of the people who voted for Barack Obama, none of them voted for Hillary Clinton. Mark Colvin, only only half of them voted and they wrote in their own names or somebody else's. Chris Christie's calling. Hello?

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You think you're sick? Well, you are sick. You don't know nothing about second stab. I got the cholera rotavirus, T.J., you got nothing.

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The coronavirus, not the crawler owner.

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What's a freakin difference? I got it all out of control. No worries. No problems.

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OK, the case then why do they check you into a hospital, Chris?

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So back up that Mario Andretti nobody should be in. I checked myself in. Understand? Nobody checks in Chris Christie.

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OK, but why? I was experiencing mild symptoms, this shit sort of what what so the virus got you. Although that pipsqueak devices didn't get Chris Christie, Chris Christie gets the virus. Understand?

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Yeah, but the virus is attacking your body, right? Wrong and attacking it. They went down on a virus like he was coming for my nachos. You don't stand a chance for a virus. What is weird off the air. Get the fuck out of my face. I'm going to take that vibe, which is that you don't sound so good.

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No, you don't sound so good. I'm fine. I just got some Eminem stuck in my throat. Oh, you worry yourself about me. I'm just waiting for a special precaution because I got to ask them. You did their best demo. I do. You don't.

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What were you wearing a concealed oxygen cylinder when you left for the hospital, Dad?

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Completely wrong. That was my strap on Velveeta pump on my left side to look symmetrical with the role of poppin fresh muff. And don't take the right side with that rare occasion. When I'm trapped somewheres without proper egress to snacks, I prepare for the worst cruise.

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It's just that we're all worried about you, Chris. Oh, that's funny, because I'm worried about you. Because you have the best medical minds of Jersey every day, every needs.

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You've been hospitalized for days now. Are you proving. Initially, we had a setback, it was forced to demand a battery of new tests and testing positive for broccoli.

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Are you currently on any special medications?

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I don't want to get into personal details, but I'm currently getting a minister, one of them experimental fruit cocktails. I'll be out of here in no time at that coach and Donald Trump for the next debate. I thought dramatically better up Biden to make them look even more like a doddering ambassador.

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The irony is, what was your technique? I'm not at liberty to tell you my technique. But I could tell you exactly how I did it. OK, you try to tell me what my problem is, that I'll interrupt you like you was a dumb old man. Go ahead.

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OK, your problem is you never tell the truth. That's what you think. I'll tell you what your problem is. Your problem is I ain't got no problem. You think you know my problem? I see what your problem is and you'll sit there and listen and you'll take it and you'll like it. And then I lead you to the podium and it's going to fall down and spray my fucking virus on all the infected lawn sprinkler.

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And then what happens? Is where we start stuttering, saying weird shit, and I go now you start to say, we should just deal with that, vote for me. Next thing you know, I'm Donald Trump's new attorney general. I put your ass in jail and hit the local cause junior for a congratulatory double Western bacon burger with cheese. Case closed. End of story, Dagbladet Aders. I asked for extra oxygen in my NoDoz.

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Speaking of voting, Barack Obama urges Americans to vote worries about deep divisions in the country. Barack Obama worries about deep divisions in the country. Barack Obama worries about deep divisions in the country.

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Do you see this? What it says here? It says, Obama praises young generation urges voting.

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It's weird because the young generation made their choice overwhelmingly, they voted for Bernie Sanders. Says here, Barack Obama praises young generation, urges voting in Iowa and New Hampshire, Bernie proved the pundits wrong. Remember, over the past four decades, no candidate has won both Iowa and New Hampshire and then failed to win the nomination. Well, there's a first.

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Hey, Charlie Gasparino said scoop. Democratic Party sources who have spoken with Barack Obama say former president is growing increasingly anxious about Bernie Sanders rise in the national polls and where the avowed socialist would take the country.

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So let me just go back here. Former President Obama urged Americans to vote worries about deep divisions in the country. You know, you can't you can't see much from his mansion, I guess. I think it's funny that he's on ABC News talking about young voters.

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They're not watching network news and he can't even make a bunch of fake promises now or he did that. And they're done that, huh? Mm hmm.

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Can't even make fake promises. A Democratic Party sources who have spoken with Barack Obama say former president is growing increasingly anxious about Bernie Sanders rise in the national polls and where the avowed socialist would take the country. You wouldn't want somebody who actually wants to do the things I was lying about wanting to do. That's what you want. You you know, you don't want somebody going to actually do stuff I lied about doing, you know what? Somebody actually give you health care, right?

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So stop Sanders, Democrats are agonizing over his momentum. So do you see what the reason I'm showing this is? Barack Obama urges you to vote, except and he worries about. She tells young people you should vote. Oh, and then when they do show up to vote, he jumps in to make sure that the guy they chose gets screwed over. You see where we're going with this? Some members of the Democratic establishment, resentful over 2016 and worried about a divided 20 20 primary, are beginning to ask how to thwart Senator Bernie Sanders.

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Isn't that being divisive, trying to come together to thwart the person that the young people chose? Isn't that being divisive? Well, of course it is. Stop, Sanders, Democrats are agonizing over his momentum. All these people might get health care, the agony. Imagine feeling pain over the idea that everybody gets to go to college. You know, if Bernie Sanders was president. You have universal health care, so it'd be cheaper to get your agony treated, Ms.

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Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want to stop Bernie Sanders, can they actually do it? Who's being divisive, Kay? Who's being divisive, Kay? Urging the young people to vote. I urge you to come out, vote so that we can band together that the neoliberals and squash you. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want to stop Bernie Sanders, can they actually do it? Well, they need help from a crop of 20, 20 candidates, the DNC and the media.

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But to quote good ol Obama, yes, they can email.

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Hey, Barack Obama wins the Democratic primary. Uh, and just like the last two times he won the Democratic primary, you ain't getting jack shit. Released from his self-imposed neutrality, O brother, the former president will soon make the case for Biden that Biden has trouble making himself who's being divisive. Kay? Joe Biden to rich donors, nothing would fundamentally change if he's elected, along with praise for civility of racist, Biden assures donors no one standard of living will change.

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See? Told you. Nothing's going to change. But you got to make sure you vote. He's calling me again from the afterlife. This has got to stop.

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Hi, I'm Herman Cain. Well, somebody please tell Herman Cain what the heck happened.

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Herman, you have to stop calling me. You're dead. I am not dead. I am getting better, just like the president.

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Well, your life ended. It's over, Herman. I got a blue check. You can't be dead and have a blue check Reija Bible. A person can be dead if they got a blue check and they keep on tweeting. I refuse to accept it. It's all hoax. Just like wearing a my ass. All right.

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Really, Dad, where are you. Herman Cain is everywhere I can see and hear everything, side note, Herman Cain, my big guy.

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OK, if you're God, then why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Because people don't read it, but. Stop eating so many darn potatoes. It's really that simple.

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What do you think about the president's condition? The man looks and sounds great. I fully expect a complete recovery. Didn't you see him the other night on the Truman Balcony? Yeah, he looked terrible. And you're dead. Oh, my goodness.

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Stop playing politics with science. I can't die. I'm immortal. That means I'm either dead or alive. I'm Herman Cain. I'll always be a part of your life. Please, no, seriously, Herman, what's it like being in an empty void?

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It's a lot like riding for Alan or maybe not hear me out. It's like you have a second chance to assess your whole life in detail from a whole new point of reference.

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And what did you learn? The more vegetables you put on our pizza, the bigger city, you donate your pizza. So not a damn thing. That's right. I haven't learned a damn thing and I'm proud of it. I'm Herman Cain and Herman Cain is getting better.

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Do you think Trump's, in fact, will make his followers take this disease seriously? Herman says, no, I encourage all Trump supporters to hold regular prayer rallies, loud ones where they speak in tongues and twirl around on the floor with snakes. You can call me on that before you go.

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Are what are your plans for the future? After much soul searching, I decided to suspend my presidential campaign and spend my time making homemade salsa. How do you say delicious in Cuban?

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Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that. We're not playing that game. But here's another great way you can help support the show. If you become a premium member, we give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week. And it's a great way to help support the show. You could do it by going to your comedy dot com click agot join premium. It's the most affordable premium program in the business and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.

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Thanks to everybody who was already a premium member and if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support.

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So I have a theory that Trump, he's his advisers secretly are trying to make him lose. Oh, no kidding. All right. And I'll show you why Trump halts coronavirus relief talks until after the election. Why wouldn't you give relief to people before the election, so they voted for you. Whoever is advising him wants him to lose. And Trump is a chump. Nancy Pelosi is asking for two point four trillion dollars to bail out poorly run high crime Democratic states, money that is in no way related to covid-19.

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We made a very generous offer of one point six trillion dollars. And as usual, she is not negotiating in good faith and I am rejecting their request and looking to the future of our country. I have instructed my representatives to stop negotiating until after the election, when immediately after I win, we will pass a major stimulus bill that focuses in on hardworking Americans and small business. Why would you do it now?

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Gando Guys, you guys got to wait till after November. You guys are getting kicked out of your houses. Yeah. Got to wait till after November. It's kind of bogus to want more money for the states where more people live in. That's what he says, to send money to democratic states. That's where the people live.

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Mm hmm. New York, California. That's where people live, actually. California has the fifth largest economy in the world. California by itself. It's got Silicon Valley, it's got Hollywood, it's got the military industrial complex up the ying yang baby. I love this because and I'm looking forward to the future of our country. He's looking forward to the future of the country. He plans to play the violin while it burns.

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I'm looking forward to the future where we don't even have to give you a one time 100 dollars check. Fuck you.

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This is definitely believable, by the way, he'll do something for the American people after he's re-elected. That's when politicians do something for you, after they've already got what they want from you.

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Right. Why would you just do it right now? I don't know if President Trump is going to give me anything, but you know what, I'm still going to vote for him because maybe he's going to do something later.

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He could do it right now, but he won't. I cannot believe that he is letting the Cuddalore McConnell establishment that he dispatched in the primary talk him into this, a massive unforced error. 2016, Trump would have said make it three trillion and put my face on all the checks. That's what he should have done. So instead of him bitching that Nancy Pelosi wants to point four and he's only going to give people one point six in 2016 trouble is that fucking give them three trillion and put my name on the checks.

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But he's listening to Mitch McConnell and Larry Kudlow, and he's saying, use this now, you're saying fuck over the people to get them to vote for you.

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That's not how it works. You don't fuck the people over, so they have to vote for you, you try to give them something, so they vote for you. Jesus Christ, and Trump is so dumb, he's taking their advice. He's doing the exact opposite of what Trump would have done in 2016. Trump listens to the people who surround him, and he's surrounded himself with horrible people for four years straight. That's how it's been.

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That's how it will always be. He's not a leader. He's not an outsider. He's just another oligarch. Just so you know. He's not an outsider, he's not a leader, he's not an opposition to the oligarchs, he is one. And that's why he's not doing anything for you during covid. Mitch McConnell not to delay, but to instead focus full time on approving my outstanding nominee, the United States Supreme Court. Amy, Amy, CONI Barrett, our economy is doing very well.

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The stock market is at record levels, jobs and unemployment. Who the fuck is he talking to? Again, this is just just bullshit. Do you think people who don't have jobs look at that and go, oh, I guess everything's OK with me. Harold, who did the. I don't no doubt this is Donald Trump trying to lose. This is not Donald Trump trying to win. So we have two candidates trying to lose. We have Joe Biden offering you absolutely nothing and we have Trump offering you even less.

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Promising to not do anything for you to get your vote. You know how we could have should have taken care of you with this coronavirus starting in March, you know how we should have done that. And we didn't and we didn't do it in April. It wouldn't take care of you and me. We didn't take care of you in June. We didn't take care of you in July, and we didn't take care of you in August. And we didn't take care of you in September.

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And we're not taking care of you in August, October. But we're going to take care of you later. You're fucking president right now. Take care of us right now, Trump isn't going to do that. Why? Because he's not an outsider. He's not a reformer. He's a corrupt, evil oligarch. He doesn't just serve them, he is one. Joe Biden says, listen to the scientists talking about science. He says, listen to the scientists, but don't actually do what they say, and why do I say that?

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Because here's what the scientists say. Fracking is bad. And what does Joe Biden say?

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I am not banning fracking. Let me say that again. I am not banning fracking.

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Let me just say that again. In case you're having an earthquake that you normally wouldn't have because of fracking and you can't hear me, I'll say it again. I'm not banning that fracking. That's causing that earthquake. That's making you not be able to hear me.

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Fracking in Pennsylvania not worth it unless you're an oil CEO or a government stooge being paid by an oil CEO. Economy, the economy, the green new deal and the idea of what your environmental change will do, the green New Deal will pay for itself as we move forward. We're not going to build plants that, in fact, are great polluting plant.

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But you're going to build a new deal for me. You support.

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No, I don't support the green owe. Hey, would help the people in our planet. That's what the scientists say. Of course, I'm not for it. That's one of the most remarkable pieces of political tape I've ever seen in my life. He came that close to offering people something and he didn't. He came that close, the green New Deal pays for itself, saves our planet. Are you for it? Hell, no.

[00:39:01]

I thought for that shit. The Green New Deal, finally, climate policy informed by science. Turns out Joe Biden is against it, but remember, Joe Biden tells you to follow the science. Here's here's what. Here's what Joe Biden says about climate change. Here's what he says, not a single solitary scientist will work on this. There you go. There's Joe, you just forgot to listen to them, Joe. See, how are you supposed to listen to scientists and he's not you can't do it, we can't get there.

[00:39:50]

The thing we need to do, we're not we can't do it. They say we need to act now. That's what the scientists say. Joe, what is Joe say? Joe says there's not a single solitary scientist in the world. Joe, I got news for you. There's not a single solitary scientist who thinks we have the luxury of waiting until 2050. Not a single, solitary scientist. There's Joe Biden telling you to listen to the side.

[00:40:26]

So this is a I could do this every day. It's it's easy. And if he wins the election, it'll be even easier. I'll get ready for president cabal of the Copperas. And then you're a racist if you don't like her. Get ready, get ready, get ready for all they're going to use that they're going to use that are. To to protect her neoliberal corporatism and warmongering. And jail packing and worker screwing, they're going to hide behind that the whole time.

[00:41:01]

Well, she she already loves exploiting prison. Yeah, that's her. That's her groove. She loves to exploit prison labor. Kamala Harris and Barack Obama. And Joe Biden, he created the prison explosion with the crime bill, which he still doesn't apologize for, but he wants black people to vote for him. OK, they didn't vote for Hillary Clinton. We'll see. Maybe they'll vote for you.

[00:41:23]

So, you know, we've talked about the way the military industrial complex and the media push war in Iraq and in Syria. They did the same thing. So they started. So I don't know if you know so. And the Iraq war was a false flag. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. They didn't have weapons of mass destruction. The government said they did. They lied. That's how we got ran into that war. The media pushed it, the whole thing.

[00:41:52]

Dan Rather pushed it, Dan Rather, such a fucking pro warmongering chump. Was is one mainstream media that wasn't for the war. No, they were all for it, including Dan Rather. Which was a heartbreaker when he got hired at the Young Turks, like you bring on its pro-war piece of shit out of your fucking. Anyway, so Syria. We've been telling you the truth about Syria, even though Wikipedia lies to you about Syria, still, Wikipedia is like listening to CNN or The New York Times or MSNBC, Wikipedia's bullshit.

[00:42:24]

They still if you go to Wikipedia, they still say that I got their Syria gas attacks wrong when we got it right. When we got it right. Leaked docks. This is new reporting from the gray zone, new leak docks exposed massive Syria propaganda operation waged by the Western government contractors and the media, just like we said.

[00:42:49]

And you remember the MSNBC host who said we were wrong about Syria and we were right. You remember the people who have the contracts with MSNBC who say we were wrong about Syria, they were pushing pro-war propaganda at the top of their lungs. We were just kicking our chin out, getting it right and being smeared by those people. What is it about having the MSNBC contract that makes you get almost everything wrong? The media is the MSNBC is pro-war, if you have a contract with MSNBC, you are also pro-war.

[00:43:27]

Oh, really, you're not. Let me see it. Let's see your coverage of Syria. While Western government contractors and the media who could have predicted they would be the culprits. In the bullshit Syrian war. Virtually everything Westerners saw and heard about the Syrian proxy war was the product of a regime change echo chamber carefully managed by the U.S., U.K. intelligence assets and public relations firms. You know, all the entities that belong in the news. Western government funded intelligence cutouts trained Syrian opposition leaders, so Western government funded people, Western government intelligence.

[00:44:22]

Funded people trained. Terrorists in Syria. They planted stories in their media outlets from the BBC to Al Jazeera and ran a cadre of journalists, a trove of leaked documents exposes the propaganda network. The propaganda network that will probably win some kind of bogus award before 2020 is over. Here it is. By the way, here's CNN covering. This is how they covered. This is how, you know, it was a real gas attack. They sent a reporter there and to prove it was a real gas attack, she sniffed some of the poison.

[00:45:02]

Except she didn't, because if she did, she would be dead. And if you're a reporter and you think something has poisoned well, here, I'll show.

[00:45:13]

There's definitely something that stings so that CNN sending a reporter, she happens to be the granddaughter of the former prime minister of Syria.

[00:45:25]

She's they send her there to do the reporting and she's going to tell you that they did gas attacks there because she's sniffing. Poison. If you were somewhere and someone said, hey, there's poison on this, you would go, let me smell it. She knows there's that poison on there, she's lying, she's paid to do propaganda so the United States will send the military into Syria, overthrow it so they can put a gas pipeline through it. That's what this is about.

[00:45:57]

And my impression of her is this. I think I smell a false flag. Yeah. Mm hmm. Smells like a false flag. Smells like a false flag. Chemical weapons, you know, they're really they're just like scented candles, just just go ahead and take a whiff and see what happens. The Western government contractors, this is real. Western government contractors crafted a strategy to rebrand Syria's Salafi jihadist armed opposition by softening its image.

[00:46:35]

Boasting it provided opposition propaganda that aired almost every day on TV networks. The leaked documents consist mainly of material produced under the auspices of the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office. All of the firms named in the files were contracted by the British government, but many also were running multi donor projects that received funding from the governments of the United States and other Western European countries. Because we can come together as one world to manufacture war. But not to stop one. That great.

[00:47:17]

In the leaked documents, another UK government contractor called Innovative Communication Strategies in Ghostwrite. Boasted of building a massive network of over sixteen hundred journalists and key influencers with an interest in Syria. While. So here's from that leaked document. Mm hmm. So here's what they're here's their own words. This is the. The contractors being paid by the American government, here's what they're saying we're going to do a guerrilla campaign 2014. We exploited the concentrated presence of journalists to put pressure on the regime and to support a humanitarian effect in Homs.

[00:48:05]

ISIS and Assad, two sides of the same coin. That's what they say, ISIS and Assad, two sides of the same coin. ISIS and Assad. The guerrilla campaign fueled the emerging debate around the relationship between the regime and ISIS, drawing particular attention to crimes against humanity, a action ready. We produced postcards, posters and reports to draw behavioral parallels between the regime and ISIS, playing to the commonly held belief that a latent relationship exists between the two.

[00:48:40]

So they're just letting you. This is how we're doing our propaganda. We're playing into the commonly held belief it's not true. They're trying to smear. The Assad regime saying that they're in bed with ISIS, they're the ones fighting ISIS, who was the one in bed with ISIS, the United States. We were funding ISIS in Syria, and this is how this is there. This is the document from that Western contractor showing you how they do propaganda to start a war.

[00:49:09]

We debunked it. And, of course. Anybody with an MSNBC contract attacked us for debunking it. We provided a credible Arabic, English speaking Syrian spokesperson to engage the media, the effect of these actions. What was the effect of them doing this propaganda? Well, the effect was major news outlets such as Al Jazeera, pro-war Al Jazeera.

[00:49:37]

And the Nats and the National published are posters. Al Jazeera America and the national publicity are posters. We conducted interviews with a wide range of prominent newspapers and major international and Syrian news channels. Among them, The Times, The Guardian, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, BuzzFeed, Al Jazeera, Syria, Elsom and the Orient. So what they're telling you is like we get propaganda in all these news organizations. We push propaganda. They repeated it.

[00:50:12]

This is being funded by the U.S. government to start wars. This is a Western contractor telling you how they run propaganda to start a war. For oil. And there were people like me come along and tell you the truth, they smear us. They say, oh, they're they're running conspiracy theories. You mean the fact that the United States government is paying the media the fuckin lie us into a war? Update a few days after we published this, exposing the authenticity of these leaked documents was indirectly confirmed by the U.K. government, Britain said Foreign Office reports detailing its Syria propaganda ops had allegedly been hacked and posted online.

[00:51:04]

So they just confirmed that those hacks were happened. And those documents are real.

[00:51:15]

Gee, I wonder why the UK government isn't supporting Julian Assange. Oh, it's because they're actually in bed starting trying to start wars, overlies for natural resources. Our government, your government is not your government, the United States government, the U.K. government, they're not your governments. They work for Wall Street in the military industrial complex and fossil fuel companies, and that's it. So there you go, all the reporting we did on Syria proven to be 100 percent correct.

[00:51:57]

There's now been four OPCW whistleblowers saying that the gas attacks were false flags. They were created by the people trying to get the United States to enter that war. And now we see how they do the propaganda to start the war in the media. Government funded. Propaganda to start a war, the United States government is that's not ISIS, that's not that's not crazy Muslims.

[00:52:25]

Sam Harris, he's always afraid of crazy Muslims, even though it's the United States that is setting the world on fire as we speak. If there's a dumber smart guy than Sam Harris, I'll fuckin I'd like to see how you can read that many books and still be that fucking Dumb Dumber than me.

[00:52:46]

Sam Harris is on a daily basis, dumber than me. And he's he's read 10 times more books than I've read. And he's dumber than me every fucking day. Isn't that amazing? Doesn't take much to see through Sam Harris, it's fuckin propaganda racism. It doesn't take much I could do it. I don't know Sam Harris for the war in Syria, I'm going to guess he is. I mean, it's just a guess. I'm just going to guess.

[00:53:19]

I'm going to guess. He's going to repeat every piece of propaganda. It'll go on Bill Maher and repeat that propaganda and Bill Maher say, yeah, you're right, Muslims are bad. We're the good guys. Where the terrorists, you fucking assholes. We've always been the terrorists. So here's what doesn't work to get people to vote. We want to see what doesn't work. Here's here's, you know, what works to get people to vote. Offer them something like if the most of the people who don't vote in America are in the poverty line, do you offer them health care?

[00:53:52]

You offer them a job, you offer to end the wars, you offer to make marijuana legal so they don't have the rest of their families going to be in prison. You offer them something to vote. That's how it works. What Michelle Obama is going to do here is the opposite of voter outreach, OK, ignorance and hatred keep me from doing my duty as a citizen.

[00:54:17]

Because I know we don't have the luxury to assume that things are going to turn out OK. We cannot afford to withhold our votes or waste them on a protest candidate. You can't waste your vote. On a protest candidate, you can't waste your vote on a protest, can you, don't get to vote for who you want to vote for. So instead of telling. Well, here's what I said, 100 million people don't vote, they are not rich or privileged.

[00:54:50]

This is not how to get their vote. Maybe tell Biden to offer those people health care or legalize pot or end fracking or anything at all.

[00:54:59]

But he can't. Because he's not allowed to buy his owners, just like you have owners, Michelle, your owners are the oligarchs. That's why you live on a 48 acre estate on Martha's Vineyard while the people in Flint who were poisoned during your husband's administration are still poisoned. And you don't give a shit. 80 percent of workers live paycheck to paycheck when you left the White House and you don't give a shit, what have you done since you left the White House to help people?

[00:55:33]

What did you do while you're in the White House to help people? Nothing. That's why those people don't vote. And now you said you can't waste your vote.

[00:55:40]

You know what a wasted vote was a vote for Barack Obama because Barack Obama took us from two wars to seven. He dropped more bombs than George Bush. He made the banks bigger while he kicked five point one million families out of their house during an economic downturn. Similar to this, he didn't help those people. He kicked them out of their house. There's fracking pipes underneath this country because Barack Obama. He opened the Arctic to drilling twice whenever Shell Oil asked he didn't prosecute fucking torturers.

[00:56:14]

He built those cages and put immigrant children in cages. You did that and your husband. That's why those hundred million people don't vote. And telling them you can't waste your vote. Things didn't turn out fine with you, Michel. Things turned out horrible for working people. Horrible. Let's see what other bullshit she says. Is that it, that's it. OK. Ignorance and hatred keep me from doing my duty as a citizen. Because I know we don't have the luxury to assume that things are going to turn out OK.

[00:57:00]

We cannot afford to withhold our votes or waste them on a protest candidate. One of these two men will be president and only if we vote for Joe Biden with power and with passion will our voices even have a chance at being heard.

[00:57:21]

If you vote for Joe Biden, that means your voice is being heard. Have you ever heard a dumber thing in your life? If you vote for Joe Biden, your voice is being heard. This is all they do every four years, this is all they do, you've got to vote for this guy you don't like. You got to vote for the guy promising to screw you, you got to vote for the guy promising to deny you health care in the middle of a pandemic, you got to deny you've got to vote for the guy who's promising to increase the military budget as he promises to deny you health care.

[00:57:59]

That's your savior. That's that's the concern. Look, she's got a concerned look on her face. But, you know, I'm always convinced when they kind of whisper. Yeah, when they finally tell you you can't do that protest or criminals, you know, that's what psychopaths and sociopaths do when they're lying to you.

[00:58:16]

What Michelle Obama is doing and these are sociopaths. Go ahead.

[00:58:20]

Let me just add to this the pathology of the Democratic Party right now. I signed up for the Democratic newsletters like I want to know what they're asking. Every time I get something three times a day, this is what I get from Comilla. I humbly ask you, Barack Obama, humbly, we come to you. And what they're doing every single time is asking for twenty five dollars. And there's not one policy that's they they don't say anybody anything.

[00:58:47]

There's no policy written anywhere. She has no policies, no policy.

[00:58:53]

Because folks who are perfectly content with the status quo, who are quite happy with what's been going on these past four years.

[00:59:02]

Trust me. Whether they say it out loud or not, they will vote to. She talked about the folks that tortured some. I know it's what she's done. How about are you talking about the folks? Are the Republicans you invited to your you know, the architects of the Iraq war that you invited to your convention?

[00:59:19]

Are those the folks you're talking about? So we can expect that this election will be won by the slimmest of margins, just like for you, because you and policy, because you are not trying to get the one hundred million people who don't vote to vote. You guys are going to win by a slim margin over a guy you say is a fucking racist white nationalist traitor to our country game show host, and you're only going to beat that guy by the slimmest of margins.

[00:59:53]

Does he know what that tells me? That tells me you guys are so unbelievably fucking corrupt that it's not worth voting. Because if I vote for Joe Biden, he's just going to start punching me with the left fist, denying me health care with his left hand instead of his right, he's going to be giving me right wing judges with his left hand instead of his right. He's going to be ramping up military budgets with his left hand instead of his right.

[01:00:21]

Can you with a straight face, it's going to wind up we can't beat Donald Trump. We can't beat fucking Donald Trump, that's what that stupid look on her face means. They have no shame, they have no integrity, they have no dignity. They have no dignity, that's all, pretend dignity. You had actual integrity, you would be screaming at Joe Biden to offer people something, but you don't have integrity because Michelle Obama is just like her husband is a sellout, 100 percent corrupted neo liberal who doesn't care about you at all.

[01:01:06]

At all. I mean, really, if you have any loyalty to the Democratic Party. You're such a sucker, you you need therapy. I mean, honestly, if you can look at this first lady and think that she's really, really requiring really in earnest here, it's such a show. It's all this theatrics and all they're doing is making my life worse.

[01:01:36]

Let me tell you something. I live in California, 11. I live in I'm OK in the in the Southland, as they say on the weather in car commercials.

[01:01:45]

I live in the Los Angeles area. Los Angeles is a. Democratic, I live in a Democratic state supermajority in the state legislature, Democrats, so they can do whatever they want, a Democratic governor and have a Democratic mayor, have a Democratic city council. There are people sleeping under every bridge in this city.

[01:02:06]

Every bridge, there's a there's a it looks like Brazil. So I got to vote Democrat for fuckin what? The Democrats run the whole state, every city, and what are they doing? Nothing. They're doing nothing, and I want to just say one more thing, Jimmy, when somebody says a protest vote, there's no such thing as a protest vote. You're voting. You're voting. It's called voting. It's called voting. So don't let them go ahead and put that in a little box for you that it's a protest vote you're voting.

[01:02:39]

That's all she has. That's all they have is voter shaming and scaring you about how bad the other guy is. That's all they have.

[01:02:45]

They don't say we're going to have greater peace, we're going to have health care. So we're going to have access to better jobs and we're going to do it in the water by in cities. So everybody has access to green new deal job guarantee, make marijuana like nothing.

[01:03:02]

A handful of votes per precinct in Pennsylvania, and you're not embarrassed, you're not embarrassed that it's your that the Democrat is in a neck and neck race with Donald Trump, you're not embarrassed that Barack Obama's hand-picked successor lost to Donald Trump. No, they're not embarrassed, you know why? Because they don't have a shame button, because their whole life revolves around money and selling you out to the highest bidder like Wall Street. That's what the Obamas do. The Obamas are screwing over the south side of Chicago right now to build his fucking library.

[01:03:35]

Do you know that the neighborhood doesn't want it and the way he's doing it is fucked up and the neighborhood told him so. And you know what Michelle Obama told them? Go fuck yourself. That's what she said. That's what Barack Obama said to their own people on the south side of Chicago. They don't care about you. They don't care about anybody. They they are megalomaniac fucking psychopaths who are attracted to power. They're not good people. Hello.

[01:04:05]

Jimmy, this is Liam Neeson. Do you know who that is? Of course, you're the famous star of Schindler's List and Hard Powder, but Schindler's List is your most famous film.

[01:04:18]

Why must you always disparage hard powder? Jimmy, I need you to listen very carefully to this question. Who do you think was just voted the world's third sexiest actor over 60? You don't have much time.

[01:04:31]

Tom Hanks. Know this is very important. I need you to think very, very clearly. Well, who are the first and second? I don't know who they are, but I will find them. I do. I will ask them. I can that I mean, losing my hair, stuff like that.

[01:04:50]

Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call. We don't have time on today's podcast. How do you hear the entire phone call? You got to become a premium member. Go to Jimmy Dark Comedy Dotcom, sign up.

[01:05:01]

It's the most affordable premium program in the business. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't freak out. Don't freak.

[01:05:08]

Today's show was written by Ron Placoderm, Mark Van Landward, Steve Zambrano, Jim Earl, Mike McCray and Roger Rittenhouse. All the voices performed today by the one in the only the inevitable Mike McGray, who can be found at Mike McRae dot com. That's it for this week.

[01:05:26]

You'll be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.

[01:05:31]

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't freak out. Don't freak out. I'm not kidding. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't freak out. Do not break. Not break. Do not freak out.