Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, The Jimmy Doors show.

A Barack Obama phone thanked me yesterday. Here's how it went. Hello. Hey, Joe, what's going on, man? Wow, it's President Obama and that Monica standing behind you.

I think you got the wrong number.

More than 100 million Americans have already cast a ballot in this election. And you and Monica, too. That's why I'm face time with you, Joel. But the camera lights not on.

I know, anyway, this is President Barack Obama. Are you still waiting in line to vote? We already voted. That sounds great. You and Monica made a plan. And today was the day you decided to vote. How's the weather out there, Joel?

Oh, it's really hot and smoky because California is burning. Hey, and we already voted. Glad to see you're out there vote, as you know, there's a lot at stake in this election. This is the most important election in your lifetime. Joel Armonica, do you have a voting plan?

I said we already voted. Why won't you listen? That sounds great, you're representing a generation whose voice we need to hear returning to normalcy, protecting health care during a pandemic. All that is going to make so much of a difference.

Yes, we all need health care, Barack. I have a pre-existing condition. How about Medicare for all? That's right, if I'm not mistaken, all your preexisting condition is Ms. Right? Wow, no, and I'm not. Joel, thanks. You're welcome. I did my research. I'm so grateful you made a plan and you're voting today. Well, last question, Joel. Do you have a plan to vote today?

We already voted. That's great. Good luck on your studies and thanks for doing what you're doing. Your campaign gave you the wrong number, Barack.

They are very hopeful Barack Obama will call them out. This isn't Andre. As you know, Andre, there's a lot at stake in this election. Do you have a voting plan?

I voted. That sounds great. You and Monica made a plan and today was the day you decided to vote. Hey, Andre, did you and Monica see me in Flint yesterday? Oh, the.

Yeah. The country's poor city. Porphyry. Those folks are rich and hope, just like Andrea and Monica, how? Because I got the part, yet they're still drinking poisoned water. I said I got their back, not the front. She's next time read the fine print. It's like a dumb ship. You could have done something for them, but you didn't, Barack. You could have done something for those people in Flint, but you didn't.

Oh, that sounds like Monica talking. Andre doesn't like you. You didn't declare Flint the disaster area. You can't look to the government, nor president nor your representatives to solve every little problem like Monica. They'll be a petulant child. Hey, did you see me make that silky three pointer yesterday? I totally drained out who was freaking awesome man. You left the White House without doing a goddamn thing for Flint, Barack. That's what I know. That's what I do.

And Joe, you know all that all my life isn't a game. Monica, stop being childish, you slacker, dumb shit. Let me hang up. I got to call some guy named Andre.

Establishment media organs like yourself and love bullshit they can't afford to miss. Golf, the median speeds and jumps, the media hits them head on the chin to show.

Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dawesville. Let's get to the joke before we get to the joke, shall we? Hey, one thing is for certain right now, this week we found out for sure which direction America will go in order to change nothing.

I have never felt good about any president I ever voted for, nor do I remember any one of them doing anything substantial to improve my life. Hey, preorder the new iPhone 12. Odds are high that the people seriously using the phrase nailbiter to describe Tuesday night still have health coverage for that through their employer. Mm hmm. Hey, big shout out to the Democratic Party and Chuck Schumer for derailing black progressive state representative Charles Booker in favor of Amy McGrath, who has never won an election build back.

Better B, Best B, hey, one more important news.

McDonald's is bringing back the McRib. You know, if I had a nickel for every time McDonald's brought back the McRib, I'd have chronic diverticulitis and I'd have chronic diverticulitis. Hey, relax, everybody, and take a break from the election. We now return you to your previously scheduled eight illegal wars for oil and soothing video of a squirrel playing with a cat. Huh? Hey, what's coming up on today's show? This show was recorded on Wednesday, the day after the election.

And how did it all happen? We're going to answer that question. And more shocking, Fox News poll shows that what Americans really want. No kidding. Plus, liberals worship of Obama is considered adult. Joe Biden told lots of people not to vote for him. Apparently, a lot of them listen. Plus, we have phone calls today from Al Pacino, Jeb Bush, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, plus a lot more. That's today on the Jimmy Dorotea.

Hey, so here we are again, the results of yesterday's presidential election are coming in, and it's a dead heat between a right wing racist, psychopathic liar and another right wing racist psychopathic liar.

Right now in the swing states, Joe Biden is just a hair stiff away from losing. Why is he so close?

Why is it so close? How could it be so close?

Well, in the middle of a pandemic and an economic crisis, Democrats are sweating that they can't beat the incumbent reality TV game show host just to show the Democratic Party learns nothing. They essentially repeated the exact same campaign from 2016 except with a worse candidate, Joe Biden, a demented walking death rattle. This Delaware Dixiecrat who should have been retired last century, rehabilitated by Barack Obama and thrust upon the American people, just like the rehabilitated Hillary Clinton in a primary using his weight to get the field to drop out and coalesce around the candidate who could barely make it through a debate without his eye popping or his teeth falling out.

The Democratic Party hates progressives more than Trump. They fought Bernie Sanders and progressives more than they ever fought Republicans after a season of people protesting police brutality, Democrats put at the top of their ticket the author of the 94 crime bill and a self-described top cop.

The entire hierarchy of the Democratic Party needs to be wiped out, not because they are a danger to the Democratic Party, but because they are a danger to the nation.

Incompetence, cruelty, stupidity, playing politics with people's lives during a pandemic, not fighting to give them health care, not giving them urgently needed economic stimulus. All done to game an election for their side. The leaders, the consultants, the vendors, they shouldn't be allowed to show their faces in public again, they should be tarred and feathered, don't cry for them. They are running off with all your money right now. Win or lose, they still get paid.

Watch him tonight on MSNBC and CNN. And after years of saying we are on the brink of fascism, the Democratic Party establishment chose Joe Biden, a demented babbling kitty toucher who promised to veto Medicare for all during a pandemic. Who still thinks marijuana is a gateway drug and who voted for the Iraq war, who offered nothing to voters? Why is Biden struggling in Michigan, I'm sure the endorsement of the governor who poison their children really swung voters. Obama, who is so lacking in decency and shame, went to Flint, Michigan, and told them to vote for his legacy.

After when Flint needed his help the most, he had gaslighted them and ran cover for the murderous corruption. But Barack Obama took a break from skydiving with billionaires to kneecap Bernie Sanders getting the nomination. So, you know, he cares.

The Democratic Party is so lame that they put Kamala Harris on their ticket as VP and hope she would swing that important demographic of California wine moms.

The media failed again, they didn't correct any of their way since the last election, polling should be abolished. Campaign should be about ideas. Corporate media abetted the Democratic Party and not having to face introspection for their losses.

All of you who rusticated all of you, who rusticated the entire nation was laughing at you. Democrats thought this was a clever distraction from their own failures and corruption. You thought you could turn red baiting into a campaign advantage. You made fools of yourselves. Joe Biden should have never been the nominee. Nobody who voted for the Iraq war should become the president of the United States. The Democratic Party, nauseating privilege and moral piety, the party of the managerial class that was proud to snub their base, proud to serve Wall Street interests, proud to snub working class voters.

The Democrats are discredited as a party. They are discredited as a party of opposition. They are discredited as a party with purpose. The people need a new party, a party that will fight for health care for all, a party that will be against war, a party that will be for a planet that is habitable. A party that does not serve the oligarchs at a party that's not bought. Whatever the results, we need to build power. We must fight for the world we want.

People's Party dog. Ladies and gentlemen, let's let's talk about the. The big show, so Biden and Trump are locked in a tight race as uncounted votes remain. That Joe Biden, that's the guy most likely to beat Trump, remember that? Remember, that was the big thing. There it's by the way, it's a huge turnout. Highest voter turnout since 1900. Which usually favors the Democrats, the higher the turnout usually favors the Democrats, yet somehow.

This look at that, look at how high is so. Well, when you get the highest voter turnout that's supposed to favor the Democrats, unless the Democrats somehow manage to get even shittier.

I'm surprised, I thought. After this election, I bet next time the Democrats just run an actual corpse just to see vote for the corpse, don't you see how bad the Republican is? There's a court, but he's not going to use a corpse. He's he's got dignity and character. Get get this, Matt Breuning tweeted this out, he says, According to the exit poll, Trump did better in twenty twenty with every race and gender except white men.

What? So the change from twenty sixteen, he got less votes from white men, Donald Trump, he got more votes from white women, he got more votes for black men. He got more votes from black women. He got more votes from Latino men. He got more votes from Latino women and more votes from all the others. Holy, so that's what happens when you do four years of Russia again, so if you do four years of a phony opposition to Donald Trump, you actually lose voters.

Isn't that amazing? Wow. Here's Michael Cohen says, I know a lot of Democrats are going to blame the National Party for what's happened tonight, but it's not as but it's not as if Americans don't know who Trump is. Maybe the problem isn't Democrats. It's the voters. These goddamn voters, they keep letting the Democratic Party down. The voters just aren't good enough for the Democratic Party. That's the problem. The voters just aren't good enough. You're just the voters just aren't worthy of a political party that is offering them nothing.

Voting Democrat is a privilege. You're not even worth their platitudes. There it is. There it is and whoo hoo! Joe didn't let us down, we let Joe down. Oh. The Democrats are bound to get better if you shield them from any responsibility whatsoever. That's how life works. So definitely don't do an autopsy, don't look inward, Democrats look outward, it's always someone else's fault. In 2016, it was Susan's very powerful people like Jill Stein and Susan Sarandon and the Russians.

And now it's just the Democrats themselves, the voters that's there, that it's not the Democratic Party. That's not for believe me. And who would who why do I even feature a guy like this, because this is who he is. This is a guy he's a columnist for The Boston Globe, of course. He's also an author. He also has a newsletter who wouldn't want to sign up for this guy's newsletter. With that kind of insight. He wrote this book called Clear and Present Safety, The world has never been better and why that matters to Americans.

Hey, everything's fine, the Democrats have got you. The view's fine from brunch over here. The world has never been better, and why that matters to the world has never been better, according to Michael Cohen, the guy who says that it's the voters who are at fault. The world has never been better and why that matters to Americans, wow, this guy is like if the trust fund had opinions.

I would I'm just going to say I'm going to make a bold statement here, nobody making less than a quarter million dollars a year would find this guy interesting.

A candidate doesn't support anything and the voters won't vote for him. It's their fault.

I think what this guy is I think what he's actually saying, what he's actually saying, Michael Cohen, the guy who writes for The Boston Globe and the author of that shitty book, I think what this guy is saying is that we should just expect our elected officials to do the opposite of what we want.

It's like, don't these Democrats know the their elected officials are going to do the opposite of what they want? What's their problem? That's how his brain works, that got 2000 like, so 2000 people follow and think exactly the same. Wow, OK. Hey, by the way, and there it is, the Democrats don't need to change. The voters do make. And let's remember, Joe Biden could have offered 72 percent of the country, according to Fox News, is in favor of Medicare for all government run health care.

72 percent over seven out of 10 people. Maybe if he would have offered that, he didn't even have to do it. He just had to offer it. That's how corrupt they are. That's how under the thumb they are of their donor class. Joe Biden couldn't even pretend to be for health care for you. They wouldn't even allow that. If he could have won handily, Trump could have also, by the way. Trump could have also.

Hey, 87 percent of Democrats support Medicare for all, though Joe Biden doesn't. Literally, they're going to run a corpse next time, if Joe Biden dies while in office, they will run him again. And they're going to learn all the wrong lessons from this if they win, it looks like they're going to win this. They're going to do nothing all year and blame it on the Mitch McConnell's Republicans in the Senate. Hey, Biden's opposition to marijuana legalization is at odds with most Americans views.

I wonder why it was such a close race. Biden says he's supporting additional funding for the police after a whole summer.

After a whole summer of protests and riots against police brutality, the Democrats chose chose the Democrats coalesced behind Barack Obama leadership and chose Joe Biden, the author of the 94 crime bill, to be their nominee, the one who exploded the prison population with black and brown people and says he's going to get additional funding to the police. And you wonder why he lost black people's votes. He also wrote the crime bill, which. Gave us mass incarceration, more prisons, longer sentencing, escalated the war on drugs and targeted African-Americans, the loss of many black and Latino voters to Donald Trump would be pretty stunning repudiation of everything the Democratic Party establishment has claimed that it stands for since twenty fifteen.

Yes, it is. It is a pretty stunning repudiation of everything the Democratic Party establishment has claimed that it stands for. After there it is, I just told what I just told you. I didn't know I should have known this was coming up. Mean a Biden campaign doesn't consider Latinos part of their path to victory. Political operatives say this is a real. Now, you know why, I mean, the fact that this guy is still going to win after this.

Oh, my God. If he was running against Bozo the Clown, it would be this close, that's how bad Joe Biden is. So here's a narrative black people in the Midwest and South showed out while Latinos in the South and mid-Atlantic voted for asshole and the white working class once again went with their racist God. King wonder who the Dems should listen to. Wow. I don't know who this person is. Ellie Mistal, could you look her up on Twitter and see what her bio says, who she is?

At NYC, at Ellie. One L l, i.e. NYC, let's see what her so she's she's there saying that black people. Did their job, but the but the Hispanics and the white working class are the assholes I might be.

Eli Justice correspondent at the Nation. Oh, OK.

Justice correspondent at The Nation. This is amazing. So you see what? What this person's doing, well, they've Anthony says the solution is to pit racist against each other, I guess solid take.

That's what it sounds like, what is Eli's doing there, pitting the races against each other? Eli works at the nation, I'm going to guess he's also a Russia, so he's also probably a xenophobe against Russia. I'm just guessing. Hmm, yeah, that's a great, great take, Eli, let's let's pit the races against each other. That's a great take. Let's not make the Democrats actually appeal to those people, let's make those races of people and to bad people.

You get more on. I asked Biden about Obama era deportations. He told me to vote for Trump. Biden says if you're black and you don't vote for him, you're not black. He's right, Jesus. Biden says Americans who believe Tara Reid's assault allegations probably shouldn't vote for me. He's told a lot of people not to vote for him. Biden Americans who think they're better off today probably shouldn't vote for me. Joe Biden's tragedy of a strategy of appealing to Republicans is courting disaster, so they did it again.

They didn't go after the disaffected working class people. They didn't go after progressives. They didn't go after environmentalists. They went after Republicans who didn't like Trump again. Turns out there were no Biden Republicans, the whole drift to the right strategy was one hundred percent failure. GOP voters went more strongly for Trump in twenty twenty than they did in twenty sixteen. So the Democrats would have did better had they not even campaigned, which Joe Biden didn't. And when he did campaign, he told people to vote for Trump.

And Trump did better with Republican, there's no Republicans peeling off from Trump. Your Lincoln project. So this was 100 percent predicted that they would not get any Trump, they would not get any Republican voters to vote for Joe Biden. This was 100 percent predicted and yet they did it again anyway. But keep in mind that the Democrats would much rather lose while trying to get Republican votes than win while trying to get progressive votes. Democrats are not an opposition party, you guys.

You know, maybe when an organization shoots a guy filling up stadiums twice and ran a candidate with so many skeletons in his closet, he can decorate the whole neighborhood for Halloween. Their first priority is in winning. I heard on ABC, I heard an ABC analysts say that the problem is Democrats have moved too far left. And I swear to God, we're going to have to fascist parties when this is over. Wow. Seventy two percent of Americans want government run health care.

Florida voted for a 15 dollar minimum wage. South Dakota, Arizona and New Jersey just voted to legalize pot. Colorado voted for 12 weeks of paid family and medical leave. Now, it turns out a progressive agenda is what the American people want. But, yeah, blame socialism is pathetic. And finally, from Bertolt Brecht, some party has decreed that the people had lost the government's confidence and could only regain it with redoubled effort, if that is the case, would it not be simpler if the government simply dissolved the people and elected another?

OK. How is it going to get shitty? It's going to get way worse. People are going to be going to start being kicked out of their houses. And Joe Biden is going to do a fucking thing to help them. There ain't there's no more space underneath bridges in Los Angeles. It's all taken, they now have city crews that go by and service homeless camps under bridges. What do you mean? Well, they gave them porta potties.

They empty them, they clean them. They get all the garbage out. They clean, they they hose down the street and the sidewalk. They take all the trash away. The government is doing this for homeless people, which is better than not doing anything. Why don't we just give them fucking homes already? We just gave five trillion dollars away. You don't think we have a couple of billion dollars for the homeless in America? We do.

Hey, well, I was out coughing all over pollwatchers.

A bunch of people left Election Day messages on my antique message machine. Hello, Jimmy, this is David Axelrod of the X Files, Hacks on tap and my new is Vodcast X X.

As you know, X on tap offers a lighter take on current events while the X Files gets down dirty, serious with the passions of political intrigue. X X takes human emotions to the next level. That's right. David Axelrod, answer your questions no matter what the subject. There are no limits, rules, boundaries or taboos on X X. So give me a ring. I'll even read your aura and send those negative feelings about your domineering mother down the grounding pole.

I'd love to hear from you. Normal phone rates may apply adults' only.

I mean, this is Herman Cain with a message urging you, imploring you to go out and vote today, and then can somebody finally tell me what in the heck happened to me? Yet I still do not understand what went wrong. One day I was sitting in a stadium surrounded by a bunch of people yelling and carrying on the next. I know. I mean, what gives? Herman Cain is perplexed. Thanks for taking my call. Let's do lunch.

You son of a bitch bastard. I thought you'd you thought you'd heard the last of me, didn't you? Well, I'll never stop writing your son. Never. And you can count on that, your little fairy.

Hey, man, get out, get up and vote out. You know, the thing with our help, we can seal the whole of this nation. I mean, we can heal them all. We can feel the service station. Secondly, if you're Latino, you might as well vote for Trump. This thing I'm fighting for you, man. Help me. Help you and me. And you are here and we are all together. Go, girl.

Good. You would have. This is part of the this and I fucking had it with every single one of you. I got nothing left but this, the Symbionese Liberation Army, that chant death to the fascist insect that feeds off the life of the people. Everybody, death to the fascist insect that feeds off the life of the people throwing out your windows now death to the fascist insect that feeds off the life of the people. Jane Televi to get in here now and stop posting videos of fucking porcupines eating current national affairs.

Just basically a face off the life of a people.

I support I want you to relax. We are great times to good friends to take the edge off this Election Day and have yourself a nice, cool glass of cash. And he goes to. He's got a gold in honey hue and caramel aroma and just a hint of sweet Agaba that'll make you shit your fucking trousers. So, I mean, had a good way at 60 bucks a bottle. It won't take a big chunk out of your wallet. Cheapish cash, amigos.

Think about it. Sixty dollars a bottle.

It's pretty expensive.

You know who this is? Yes, no question. What in the world are you guys doing over there? Are you crazy? If you need these guys to need some help counting votes, we can help you out. I mean, this is getting embarrassing. Hillary Clinton is an elector in New York Electoral College. Your kids are not even trying to hide it any longer, are you? Got some real bogus shit there. Fell last.

Jimmy, this is Liam Neeson. I want you to listen very closely. Your vote is going to be taken seriously. Nobody is going to care about it and nobody is going to look for it, let alone hunted down. Do you understand me? And don't forget to see my new film, The Honest Commuter. I play a commuter forced by circumstances beyond his control to drive in the carpool lane without the necessary minimum passengers. Oh, and write in Bernie Sanders.

Yeah, forward here. Uh, where is my goddamn brunch? I mean, I've been sitting here for four years smoking pot and waiting for my damn brunch pilot to tower my avocado toast to subpar request assistance. And Shila Bouffe is an asshole.

That's for the fastest insect that feeds off the life of the people, that's the fastest insect that feeds off the life of the people. Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that, we're not playing that game, but here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week. And it's a great way to help support the show.

You could do it by going to your company. Dot com click. It got join premium. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards, thanks to everybody who was already a premium member. And if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support.

Hello. Oh, hello. Hi, but who is this? Oh, come on, it's me, John. John Ellis Bush. Oh, Jeb Bush. No, no, no, no. Don't say Jeb anymore. It's John Ellis. OK, OK.

But why I'm laying low until all this blows over. That's why I mean, warms to George Bush, you know. But but Jeb, ya know his dad.

Why are you eating worms, John Ellis?

Because this isn't my fault. OK, guys, I didn't do it. We all think it is. My life's been miserable every day for the last four years. OK, I read that people are now tweeting about me at the rate of one tweet minute. Never realize how many that is in the adding numbers. Well, it's all, but that's how many more than twenty finger counting. Why is that bad. Because it's Jeb's fault. This and Jeb lost it.

Drop that they say a milk toast. What's milk toast anyway, Jimmy?

I think it means you let Trump crush you in 2016 and barely put up a fight. Oh, I see. That's not my fault. I thought Hillary would win and she picked me as secretary of state or something. I took typing and finishing school, you know, and I see how blow a spaniel to.

What's that? Well, gosh, you're dumb. I speak Spanish. I now look at what happened. Trump took Florida again. You could have campaigned against him this year.

You and your family could have helped Biden win Florida. I know I never should have listened to my stupid brother, George. No, Neil, the one nobody ever talks about is the leader of the family. He's really weird. He wears a monocle now. I mean, guy, what the heck? You guys need to stop knocking Florida? Florida's a great state. OK, just because some naked guy drove his motorcycle into a swamp because he lost his alligator doesn't mean you have to get so judgmental.

You draw riding your whole due to the drive in with a gator on your back. It's hard.

How could you crack? I was it not I was it knocking Florida, Jeb?

I mean, you don't gotta get up on your high horse just because some guy dressed up in a bull costume and tried to burn down his girlfriend's house with pasta sauce. Well, I could have.

But everybody I understand that, Jeb. I understand that they don't try to tell me. Gob's California never did anybody but practicing Gherardi on Swarens. That could happen to anybody.

Gee, this is so depressing. How come John Ellis never gets a mint from Michelle? I deserve all bullshit comments. Golly, gosh darn heck, excuse my swire's.

OK, so here we go into our neo liberal hall of Fame.

OK, so we're going to start off with a beguiling bug. Who put these together? So thank you, so that's this is a great job. So you put these together. This is our liberal Hall of Fame. This is, first of all, from Representative Joe Kennedy. The third, he said not as this is from May 9th. He said not a single patient should be forced to fight off medical bankruptcy in the midst of a global health pandemic without a lawyer by their side.

Screw Medicare for all, we need lawyers for all. That's what he's saying, we need lawyers for all. How about Medicare from. But everybody should get a lawyer man with such an inspiring message, it's hard to believe this guy got crushed in a state where his family is a dynasty. It's his message in the middle of a pandemic.

We're going to give you a lawyer. How about you give me Medicare?

No, no.

Whoa, that's expensive. And. Kamala Harris says yesterday I announced that as president, I'll establish a student loan debt forgiveness program for Pell Grant recipients to start a business that operates for three years in disadvantaged communities.

Hey, if you have a bunch of debt, if you do something that will give you a bunch more debt, like start a business will forgive some of that other debt later.

You got a ton of debt, start a business, work for yourself where there's not a guaranteed paycheck, do it for three years, maybe we'll forgive some of your other debt. How's that for an idea?

These are the liberals.

These are the solution. This should be titled neo liberal solutions to our problems. Neoliberals, comical solutions to our problem.

Huh? Oh. Huh. That's all she has.

That's it. It's a debate. It's called a debate and debate and debate means you lie.

Hi. Well, here we go, here's Chuck Schumer. We recently learned a tragically sad story of a veteran in Rochester region when he stopped receiving increased unemployment insurance. He couldn't pay his mortgage and heartbreakingly, he committed suicide. I just demanded we pass suicide prevention acts. Hey, Chuck, here's a suicide prevention act you could have passed, it starts with the you. In the middle, there's a B and it ends with an eye. It's called UBI.

During a pandemic, were you shut down the economy that could have maybe prevented his suicide? Chuck? He's going to start a suicide prevention act. He also has no he has no answer about how about peace, so we don't have future veterans. How about how about a how about an emergency? Kubitschek Chuck. That would be that would fix that problem. An emergency UBI Chuck. You need a pothead comedian to tell you that, no, he knows that he's a fucking evil oligarch and I'm not I don't use that word lightly.

He's evil. He's denying you Yacoubi. That guy killed himself and he couldn't give a shit. His solution is to pass a suicide prevention act, not give people UBI is an emergency UBI the middle of this fucking pandemic.

After he just gave five trillion dollars to the richest one thousand oligarchs in the country. I'm just waiting for him to pass, there are no more dicks in Congress act. How about that?

How about her? Here's the mayor of L.A. We're delivering assistance to Angelenos facing economic hardship during covid-19 pandemic. Are you ready? Here comes starting Monday with our new early L.A. program. L.A. Department of Transportation officials will offer a 20 dollar discount on parking citations paid within 48 hours.

Hey, here's your twenty dollars off coupon for the whole systemic murdering of black people. It could be a twenty dollar off coupon. Thank you. That's this is their fucking this is this is neoliberalism, baby. Jesus Christ. Hey, here's Senator Kirsten Kirsten Gillibrand. If we want to end the opioid. If we want to end the opioid epidemic, we must work to address the root cause of abuses.

That's why Senator Senator Cory Gardner and I introduced legislation to limit opioid prescriptions for acute pain to seven days because no one needs a month's supply for a wisdom tooth extraction.

She's nailing it, nailing it and avoiding a better solution, like supporting the legalization of cannabis.

So let's make it harder for people to get pain medicine, this is not a solution. This is not a solution. Here's Hillary Clinton, millions of people have lost their employer, tied health care over the last two weeks because of the pandemic. It's an easy call. Reopen the health care exchanges.

OK, so I don't have to tell you. OK, here's the joke.

OK, open up the exchanges so people with no money can still have no health insurance. If you don't have money, if you lost your job and your health care, you don't have money to buy health care. Wow, wow. Hey, this is an easy call, according to Hillary Clinton. Let's let the people give the insurance companies money that they don't have. Why don't they just do that? So that's just a little trip down some of the neo liberal solutions to our modern day problems.

That's their solutions.

Jesus Christ, I'm getting wet.

I'm getting word that we have a third match and no shot slip up. I'm getting. I don't have anything in my ear, are you fooled? It is fun to do that, but they used to do that. All right. A whole lot.

I'm getting so FOX News did a poll, FOX News, exit polls. This is going to be stunning. OK, I know this is going to be sunny. This is a Fox News and Fox News exit poll are already out. Fox News, I saw this, Paul. While it was here, you want to change to a government run health care plan? Seventy two percent said yes. So if Joe Biden wanted to win this election instead of shitting on people to his left.

Why not just offer people something, 72 percent of the people wanted that. Good thing Bridon didn't embrace Medicare for all, would have scared too many people away, huh? You can't be a saint. You can't you can't break Medicare fall when an election.

That's Fox News. Seventy two percent of the voters support Medicare for all today, they had to choose between two candidates who do not. Waiting for the day that radical is when elected representatives consistently and unapologetically ignore or actively dismiss the will of their constituents, because that is what Radical is wanting Medicare for all is not radical. It's way beyond being mainstream. What's radical is Joe Biden stopping it. That's radical, Joe Biden's a fucking radical in favor of the oligarchs.

Here's some more that Fox News poll, what is the question, how serious a problem is racism in the United States, according to a Fox News poll? 70. Is that 70 percent of Americans I'm bad at math and what are you doing? Forty nine and twenty nine. Yeah, is that it's about 78 percent. So almost 80 percent of Americans think that racism is somewhat or very much a problem. Fox News. Eight out of 10 of them.

Thinks that racism is a problem in America. Here's another one, what should happen to illegal immigrants? Fox News poll, seven out of 10 people say there should be a pathway to citizenship. Seven out of 10. Seven out of 10. And both candidates want to build a wall. Oh, it's just it's just it's almost like you don't matter. Dave Anthony says, hey, at least those kids will be out of cages and quickly deported to their deaths like under Obama.

Here we go, number seven, here's another how concerned about the effects of climate change are you? So according to a Fox News poll. 72 percent of Americans are very concerned or somewhat, somewhat or very concerned about climate change. That's Fox News. There it is, six and six is 12 to carry the one makes that a five five and two seven. That's 72 percent. How concerned are you about the effects of climate change? That's seven out of ten in a Fox News poll.

I guess that's why both candidates support a green new deal. Oh, wait. Did I say both? I meant neither of them.

Hmm. Here's another one, increasing government spending on a green and renewable energy. Seventy percent of the country. Seven deaths, three and seven is 10, carry the one fourth at 70 percent of the country. Fox News poll say that we should be spending more money on green and renewable energy. That's seven out of 10 people. Wow. I guess they did they think you meant military spending. There's another one, the role of government, should government do more?

Six out of 10 say, yes, government should do more. I'm sure somebody is getting fired over at Fox News for this goddamn, they're revealing too many facts. Kind of shows how out of touch with the majority they truly are. I mean, the politicians. Kind of also shows you how we don't have a representative democracy, says Rebecca, and she's making it into the show almost every week.

She's a strong believer. Strong tweeter. There's another one, Donald Trump's approach to Russia, and this is going to break your heart. Sixty two percent of Fox News poll people said it's not tough enough or. Fifty eight percent said not tough enough. That said. Propaganda still works, baby. That's weird. Fifty eight percent, you see this? Fifty eight percent say that of Fox News viewers say that Donald Trump should be tougher on Russia. That's weird that 58 percent of Fox News viewers get their news from MSNBC.

Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird? I guess Rachel Maddow fans are admitting to themselves that they're actually conservatives. I really needed a drink. This is not a stunt. This is not a stunt. I really do. No, don't do it.

No, I really needed a drink of alcohol. I realize this is not a stunt. So Pete Budy gets you judge people to gigs when I with our favorite. Do you see what hair dye and lighting can do for you? Joy Behar looks exactly the same for 20 straight years, 20, 20 years since she was since she was 58. She's look like this now. How old is she? 78. Let me see. They. How old is Joy Behar?

Hey, Suri. You'll see the thing. It'll stay updated. She's 78. I was fucking right on. Pete doesn't seem impressed. I was right on ever since she was 58 years old, she's look like that. She got that gig when she was fucking 58. Most people think their careers are over. Hers was just starting all this shit storm. Hers was just starting.

She couldn't even afford sweaters that just type in her thoughts.

Yeah, you.

Why does it look like he just came back from Chicago where he tried light beer for the first time? Doesn't he owe? OK, here we go. Budig, openly gay, but a closeted conservative, Pam Nussbaum, another great line. He doesn't think that the ballots after Election Day should be counted. Can he do that? Aren't there was isn't that what this is about? Was supposed to count every vote?

Well, maybe we could just do a coin flip again, because you get it right.

Let's be clear. He doesn't have the authority to do that. He can declare whatever he likes, but this is a democratic country and we count the votes. Now, I am disturbed that they have this strategy where they're going to court in some of the states trying to stop some of those votes. By the way, we're talking about.

He doesn't like the strategy to discourage voters. They don't work like they do in the primary. He. Military voters sending in votes in the mail, we're talking about all kinds of legitimate, valid voters and look, this is not a strategy that you adopt if you think you're winning.

So it's really a sign of desperation, really a sign of desperation. Who would know better, but they've been losing every time they've tried to do this in the courts, so I'm confident that votes are going to be counted and you see that record turnout. It shows that these strategies to discourage voters, they just aren't working.

Hmm. Oh, they don't work long to do in the primary, that's for sure. Too bad Republicans couldn't run 20 candidates against one. That may be discouraging.

Voters would have been easier and have been Pete Budig. Talk about election integrity is like having Claire McCaskill talking about election victories. Come on.

She's a big loser, Pete. Calling out cheating. Pete Bubeck calling out cheating man. That's like the pot calling the kettle the color of the people that he didn't want to have live in his neighborhood. Is that something that you've got to pay attention to that joke?

By the way, Pete Budig declares victory in Iowa caucuses with zero percent of the vote in. Oh, friendly reminder in case like the news networks, apparently you forgot he's just as scummy as Donald Trump. Just so you know, that fucking tool of the establishment, this motherfucking tool of the establishment, this piece of shit is no better than Donald Trump. Just so you know, OK, he would do war.

He would kill babies in Yemen. Does that make him a good person or a bad person? Are babies in Yemen worth less than babies in America?

Not to Jesus. So guess what? They did the FCC did one more time before the election, they they reaffirmed repealing net neutrality. So net neutrality, I think that is essential. They got rid of it under Trump and they just voted to to get rid of it again. FCC reconfirms titled to repeal says no change is needed despite a court remand. The FCC voted along party lines in 2017 to repeal the rules prohibiting broadband companies from blocking, throttling or prioritizing certain websites, rolling back net neutrality regulations.

The 2015 net neutrality rules barred Internet service providers from blocking or slowing Internet content or offering paid fast lanes under President Donald Trump. The 2017 FCC order granted ISPs that's Internet providers sweeping powers to control how Americans use the Internet. It is patently obvious to all but the most devoted members of net neutrality cult that the case against the net neutrality repeal was a sham, said Chairman Ajit Pai. So let me break. What he's saying is that if you are for net neutrality, which is that thing we all should be for, you're in some kind of crazy cult.

That's what Ajit Pai is saying. That's what he's saying. And they reconfirmed that they're going to repeal net neutrality, so what they did was they just reconfirmed that we are all horrible and awful government. We are working against our own people. That's what that's what this confirms. Hey, by the way, many Americans still don't have Internet access and Congress could help. By the way, by a cult, the people who are for net neutrality, he calls us a cult.

He means by cult. He means people who understand the Internet should be treated as a utility. That's what it that's what that's that's the cult I'm in. I'm in the cult of people who are for net neutrality, who understand that the Internet should be treated as a utility.

So just to let you know, that's what that's what the GOP. Did and right before the election, what wanted to just make sure they repealed it again. So sad news. Robert Fisk, veteran UK journalist, dies at age 74. It's sad because he was a great war correspondent. They say he's controversial because he told the truth about war. That's all it takes is to tell the truth as a reporter about war. And they call you controversial.

Robert Fisk, who had British and Irish citizenship covered wars in Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Kosovo, Israel and its Palestinian territories, Northern Ireland, Algeria and Lebanon, where he long made Beirut his base.

You cannot get near the truth without being there, he said. Across nearly five decades, Mr. Fisk was unquestionably there. He made no pretense of adhering to conventional notions of journalistic objectivity, essentially arguing that there was no, on the other hand, in certain situations. I think it is the duty of a foreign correspondent to be neutral and unbiased on the side of those who suffer wherever they may be. His dispatches earned him many accolades seven times he was named the British Press Awards, International Journalists of the Year.

Robert Fisk, in the long hours of darkness, Baghdad shakes to the constant low rumble of B 52. So that's when he covered the Iraq war. The twisted language of war that is used to justify the unjustifiable he wrote that April 7th, 2003. Robert Fisk, would President Assad invite a cruise missile to his palace, why Syria is in America's gun?

So he told the truth about Syria. So he also debunked that stupid gas attack in Dumor. He was on the scene, debunked it, we reported his reporting no one else in the United States would do that. Is that amazing? A jagoff in his garage, a pothead comedian would you know who wouldn't Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, Jake Tapper, the usual pieces of shit who are lying to you on a daily basis. Cowards, all of them, they're all cowards.

Of the highest order. Robert Fisk brought home the unimaginable horrors of war as his editor, I greatly admired him. In the middle of the night on March 3rd, 2003, I was woken up by a phone call. The Americans had just started bombing Baghdad. We had made sure Robert Fisk was on the spot when the attack was launched at four a.m. U.K. time, Fisk made contact. He wanted to file his own piece over the phone. I listened in as our chief sub editor took down his words.

I kid you not. You could hear the bombs clearly in the background as Fisk was dictating, unruffled and unhurried. That was a bit close, he said. As an explosion drowned out his words. War made Fisk angry. And he hated unlike Tom Brokaw and the American press corps, they love war. How about how about Brian Williams? We are guided by the beauty of our missiles. What made Fisk angry and he hated the way it was presented, sanitized, he'd say, by the world's media, and it is if you saw what I saw in wars, which you don't, because television cuts out the bloodiest scenes.

Oh, no, we can't see the horror. But we should we should see the pornography of death, because if you saw what I saw, dogs tearing corpses to pieces and women and children bombed in the desert, you would never support war again. Never. So he died at 74, one of the best journalists ever in the history of journalism, certainly one of the best war correspondents of all time, told the truth.

He was controversial because he told the truth about war. He was a controversial because he was crazy, he was a controversial because he got stuff wrong, he wasn't controversial because he had crazy ideas. He was controversial because he told a truth about war, something you're not allowed to do. So our repeat, Robert Fisk. He made our reporting on Syria a lot easier. He did the real hard work tip of the hat, the world's worst place off without a.

Really sad. So young, 74, that's very young. My dad's 91 give you an example. Wow, it was on the phone, hello, this is Jimmy, who's this Jimmy? This has happened, you know, how are you doing? El Al, how are you know, I know you've been paying attention to politics lately to see what happened.

Well, no, no, Jimmy. All of bad cop, bad cop, bad cop. If you recall, I called you exactly four weeks ago. Yes. I said I'm confused by everything. I'm going to turn off the news for four weeks and then I'm going to call you randomly on November 4th. Remember that? Yes. What a cliffhanger. Yeah.

So now there's one more I'm calling you because I haven't watched the news for weeks. What's going on? Ha ha ha. I was very, very sad. I had no idea.

So what happened was they had an election and yes, yesterday was the big election and Trump won against Joe Biden and they're still not sure who won. But it looks like Joe Biden's going to win.

Oh, well, how do they know who won? Because they have to they have to count the absentee ballots in the mail, in ballots and things like that. It takes a little while longer.

Oh, all right. So where do I go to vote? No, it's not that the voting is over. It was yesterday. Well, hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call. We don't have time in today's podcast. How do you hear the entire phone call? You got to become a premium member. Go to Jimmy Dark Comedy Dotcom, sign up.

It's the most affordable premium program in the business. Don't, don't, don't, don't freak out. Don't freak.

Today's show was written by Ron Polakov Mark Van Landuyt Steve Zambrano, Jim Earl, Mike MacRay and Roger Rittenhouse. All the voices performed today by the one, the only the inevitable Mike McCurry, who can be found at Mike McCurry dot com. That's it for this week.

You'll be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.

Don't, don't, don't, don't. Right now. Don't bring up. Don't, don't, don't, don't freak out. Don't freak out. I'm not kidding. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't freak out. Do not you know, not freak. Not freak to not freak out. Don't freak out.