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And he's fucking hilarious.

Please welcome the great and powerful Tim Dillon government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience trying my day job.

Real good podcast. My night all day later today, young Tim Dillon will find out whether or not he has the antibodies. Yes, yes. And if I do, I'm going to Wuhan to do like a fun little video in a wet market and eat a bat.

If I have the antibodies, it's not. It's OK. Is it safe?

I don't know what this is. Yeah, no one knows. We've never been in a time where literally nobody knows.

I have a string of text messages from Alex Jones. Yeah. Like that will change your opinion. If if you smoke enough weed and you don't smoke, will you ever weed.

I smoked a lot of weed for a very long time, but will use when I discovered Alex Jones was thirteen when I was smoking weed listening to him on the network. But when you got clean, it wasn't weed that was a problem. Right now.

It was the cocaine and the booze and the pills. But weed is always there.

I've never been a cocaine user. I never used it.

But I do love that Buckcherry song. Oh yeah, it's great. That's great. Almost makes you want to do it. It's a great drug. I mean, don't do it if you're the problem. But Alex left.

I haven't even gotten to them because I got the kids is a real I changed my phone number not that long ago. Right. And I change it every few months now. Yeah. And it doesn't matter. Do you get random text from just anybody. Oh yeah. Random. Yeah. Yeah.

But this this is these are all all these are voicemail messages. And look at all these videos you sent me to watch and all these websites. He's convinced. Yeah. That it's a weaponized virus that leaked from a lab.

Well, there's a lot of people that are saying that in one hand, obviously, they have that lab, right.

Whether it's a bio defense or bio research laboratory or something there something's there something in one hand where the disease is. Somebody said now this is kind of convincing that maybe there were people back door selling the animals that they were experimenting on to wet markets. Like if you're broke and you were a guard at the U.S. lab, you're like, hey, I'm just selling bats and dogs for extra money. And he sold maybe one of the wrong ones. And now we have this issue.

Really? Where'd you hear that? I mean, that's on the Internet, Joe.

Oh, well, as long as it's on the I mean, it's there, but I mean, but now every theory has as much weight as any other theory right now.

Right now. Yeah. Well, shit.

Scientists that are actually like one of the things that they found out is that the origins of the virus in New York City, it comes directly from Europe.

Apparently they can tell that interesting.

Somehow find you know, find out how they can do they trace it back to like patient zero with the first part?

I don't think that. I don't think so. They do some sort of tracing. Right. Because that's the new.

Yeah, I just luck of Google and. Yeah. People working together to get tracing software. See, that's that's what scares me. We talked about that the other day. If you have to have everything on your phone like showing that you're positive, you know, you have to have a phone everywhere in the car, you have to take out your car that you're positive to get into Applebee's.

Yeah, Adam Curry antibodies sent me this this whole thing saying this is why I have a flip phone. You know, Adam Curry, the original godfather, and he's saying that he won't he won't do it.

Yeah. Most coronavirus cases in New York City can be traced back to Europe, not Asia. Research shows. What is the research? So what does it say? I mean, research, tracking, spread of Kronenburg determine that the virus has been circulating in New York City for a couple of months since before the testing began. Genetic sequencing of virus samples indicates that most the early cases in New York originated in Europe, not Asia. So it's some sort of genetic sequencing.

Research team studied samples of the virus taken from ninety one New York patients. As viruses evolve during transmission from person to person, their sequences can help research. This is what scares the fuck out of me. Just that statement as viruses evolve.

Yeah, during transmission, these fucking things, they morph and twist. It seems like it's almost like a different thing with different people.

Like I was reading about George Stephanopoulos and his wife. He hasn't his wife. His wife is deathly ill. He doesn't feel a goddamn thing. That's crazy. Yeah, well, there are also the media is not helping because there's a lot of they're circulating these stories that aren't necessarily the truth or they're not like the media will be. That coronavirus lives 13 feet away from you. And then you read the article and buried in the article, the they go well, doctors don't really know if these particles are infectious or so it's like, why do you have an article with a boldface headline?

Is Coronavirus 13 feet away, 19 feet away. And then in the article you go, well, you haven't even determined if you can get it's very possible, but that's what they do today.

New news is strange today because they're just trying to sell papers or write not papers. You know, the sell clicks. Yeah, they want people to pay attention to their articles. Everything is click bait.

Yeah, it's fucking real weird, man.

And then the other half of that is no, but the guys is you don't believe anything where they're on Twitter, a nurse will put something on Twitter. She's like, you know, you know, it's been a rough day and she's crying. And then the first tweet a guy is like liar. It's like, oh my God, there are people that are like, you're a liar. I know what's going on. I'm not a conflict actor. Yeah, you're a crisis actor.

Show me the war like there's people being demanded to get into E.R., you know, to, like, show me the E.R..

Well, it's in their side. Ticktock, nurses.

See, here's crazy. Well, here's a deal. There are some places where the hospitals are overwhelmed and there's some places where the hospitals are empty. You know why?

Yeah, because the world big. Yeah, OK. It's just like grizzly bears right now, if you like. Well, grizzly bears are almost extinct.

Go to fucking Wyoming and get eaten. Right. OK, if you're in Wyoming and you're camping, you might get eaten right there. There. Yeah, there's a lot of them in Montana. They're there. Yeah. But they're not in New York City.

But even in a hospital that's not busy. Some nurses got to go. Let's not do the tick tock dance today.

I know. Some nurses got to go. Hey guys, let's not do the tick tock dance today. Bullshit. Cut him a break. Just do whatever the fuck they want. I don't know, man. Even if you're in an empty hospital and you're a nurse, you might deal with the covid-19 patient. You might get it. You might die. That's tough.

Yeah. Yeah, it's very bad. I say let them dance. OK, right. The balloons to puff their asses. Well, this is what I need. I mean, this is what I mean, there's probably covid patients dying while they're doing that. You know, maybe not. I don't know who knows that's possible to someone they believe. I'm I don't know.

One day I wake up, I go, this virus is fake. The next the next day I wake up, I go, I'm going to die today. So I don't know what to believe.

You know, when it gets me middle of the night in the middle of the night because I'm a moron and I like to drink a lot of water before I go to bed.

Yeah. Like an asshole. So I wake up at like three o'clock in the morning, would convince myself, I don't have to pay. I'm like, please just stay in bed. Yeah.

And then I get up and piss like a racehorse and while I'm peeing, then I start thinking like, what if it changes? What if it gets worse? What if it becomes like the H1N1 flu?

What if it you know, it becomes as deadly as one of these horrific flus, but transmits the same way that this one would have? You know, it's like running all these scenarios.

It's interesting. It's like I also think about and I'm not saying the virus is not organic.

I mean, I don't know, you know, mean people say it could be manmade. But look at the world before this happened, right. You had the yellow vest protest in France. You had the Hong Kong protest. You had a lot of populist movements, a lot of uprisings in first world countries like France. You saw things happening that you didn't see before and after the virus. You know, after this has got bad. Now, that's impossible.

You can't protest. You can't do anything now. You can't leave your house. Yes. Yeah.

But I think it's way more likely that what we're dealing with is just a virus. Sure. And that causes the consequences of the viruses that things are getting locked down.

What's really bothering me is this idea that once you get control of people, that they're not going to let go, that if they start taking away civil liberties, if they start moving you through checkpoints when you want to travel, you have to and you're on your car.

You have to wait and they have to, you know, scan you or check your temperature like that stuff.

I mean, are they going to let that go once a vaccine gets through? No. I mean, it's like 9/11. All of that is still left in place. Right? All the all the lawyers. Yeah. All the powers that the federal government gave themselves after 9/11 have only been expanded in the year since Obama only expanded Bush era, you know, executive power.

And he's been able to do and now everybody's like concerned now. But it's like the time to be concerned is probably a long time ago, you know, because now these things have become so big and so Orwellian, like, I mean, you know, but yet this is going to be a problem. Do you? I think it'll be possible that you won't be able to get into maybe a sporting. Event or a concert without walking through like some type of infrared sensor that detects if you have a fever.

Yeah, for sure. You know, they're going to.

Well, they're doing it in China. In China, they're testing your temperature fever. Yeah.

They have a little gun and test your and if you have a temperature, they put you in and they cremate you, they cremate you and put you in an urn. So it's a good way to get the virus when it's young.

Did you see the protests that they did have where the people were protesting because they're building a crematorium near them? No. Oh, yeah, that's hilarious.

Yeah, it's it's dark. I mean, it's dark. Dark. They don't want a crematorium near them. Well, it's not that they're protesting for a bunch of reasons, but the real concern is that they're killing people that have the disease.

Yeah, the concern is that they're lying about the number of people, definitely lung disease. Like only three thousand people died from the disease. 200000 had it killed them right there. Right. Ten million had it. Yeah.

They're there in an urn. You got it.

Well, the twenty one million cell phone thing was locals protest against cremation of.

No, that's not it. No, no. There's a crematorium here. I'll send it to give me just give me a second.

Do do you do Chinese efficient. Here's the thing with China. They're an efficient country and they're not emotional. No.

And they get things done. Weird way of putting it. Well, it's I'm putting a positive spin on it. Yeah. But I'm sure, you know, listen, there are negatives to that level of efficiency here.

Jamie, I'm senator right now. Protests broke out in China last month over crematorium plans in Mao Ming Yeah, Chinese riot police fired tear gas and beat up protesters at Guangdong province.

Have you ever been there, if it shows there anything? No, but I have gone through the airport in Taiwan, which they won't they won't admit is it's like Taiwan is not a part of China, according to them.

But China thinks Taiwan doesn't exist. And so the World Health Organization, did you see that whole thing where the guy wouldn't admit that Taiwan was a place they were asking him about Taiwan? He's like, I think China's done a wonderful job. Yeah. What about Taiwan? He's like, click hungry. Came back. He says, well, we lost you right before we're talking about Taiwan. I was like, yes, well, let's move on. China has done a wonderful job.

Look like they're in the pocket litter. It's a real country. Yes. They're in the pocket of China, of course. Sure. Yeah.

But when we were there, what's shocking is they're accustomed to violating people's space. They just bump into you. I mean, they bump into you people. Yeah.

They walk right through. There's so many of them right there.

Used to just walking right through you. But I saw this old lady walk right through my ten year old, just walk right through her on a plane, just boom.

Knocked her out the way my daughter's like, what the fuck?

Yeah. She's got fucked up by the elderly Chinese.

It this weird thing, it's like, OK, if this was if we were in Alabama, I would fucking crack this lady. Right. But here we are in culture.

Yeah. I'm like, oh yeah, ok. Yeah I just got to let it go. It's just how it goes. It's not being she's not being rude is is like a part of what they do. This is what they do. Just walk right over people. There's a lot of people.

That's why China is like we could stand to lose a few. Yeah. They don't know, but they definitely have a lower value of people. Yeah. If you have I mean that's just makes sense. If there's a billion people you care about them less. Yeah.

I don't know how much we don't care about numbers. Yeah.

We don't care about people here that much though here. Yeah. You don't think so. No I mean that. Well if we didn't care about people we wouldn't be doing what we're doing. I know that we do care about people, but we also have, you know, a lot of people going out, exposed, working in, you know, supermarkets, places like that.

And we're not doing anything for them, you know?

Well, we're doing some of them. Some of them don't have masks. I mean, I think, like, those people should get paid, you know, holiday pay or extra pay. You know, they should be given the correct the right equipment. They should probably get some you know, they should probably give them some low interest rate loans.

You know, I think it's just a function of the fact that the supermarkets weren't prepared for a pandemic. I don't think they don't care. But they're also I think if you just look at the fact that we shut everything down, well, why did we shut everything down? We shut everything down to protect old people. This is this is the whole idea behind the old people and vulnerable people, right?

Yeah, I know some young people die, but it's a very low percentage. Yes. It's mainly it's mainly old people. And they did a thing on California. How many people died? We have a very low number of people that have died. Yeah, something like thirty people died yesterday. Yeah. And that was the high. Yeah.

That's not that's not bad. No it's not. It's far. Most of them were people who would have died had we let everyone out of their houses. Yeah.

Most of them were like sixty five to eighty and a few of them, a couple were 40 to 60.

Yeah. Which that starts to get. Yeah that gets weird. Gets weird but you got to go. You got to go. OK, high risk category. What happened.

Were you on some other medication that made you vulnerable. Was ill already. Right. Did you have some sort of lung disorder with smoker. Yeah. A lot of smokers are getting hit hard man.

Yeah I, I mean I don't smoke every day but I have a cigarette occasionally, like outside a comedy store and now I don't do that at all because I don't want to be, you know, drowning. You know, they say you feel like you're drowning when you have this. You feel like you can't get a breath because you're you're driving mean.

I don't want no cigarette is worth that. Well, that's all I will tell you. If cigarettes if I.

Well, that's a good point. But years from now. But if I do have the antibody test, if I have antibodies, I will just smoke an entire pack of Marlboro Lights tonight.

But I see this what we're talking about earlier. I don't believe that they know whether or not you can catch this thing twice.

I know that's true, but most China people have tested twice.

Well, that could have been a false positive on either end or it could be that you get it again. It's true. Yeah, I don't think they know yet that's true.

If this really is some sort of a manmade concocted virus, maybe that makes sense.

Maybe that makes sense. That that's why it's acting so weird. It's different in different people. They don't understand it. I mean, or maybe it's just a really particular peculiar virus right now.

And that's why it can come back. Yeah. They don't know if they do know that this I mean, this is a big NPR article.

People are testing positive again, who had been confirmed as negative and one I think, yeah.

In China and then Korea, they had a few of those cases. I trust the Korean ones way more. South Korea. Yeah, the South Korea said fourteen percent or something. Amount of people seem to have tested positive again, which I mean, which is scary because that could be another strain or it could be like herpes.

It stays in your system. It pops out again, like when your immune system fall.

Had it in five years, we're all going to die. My buddy, Justin Rhen, he runs this he has this non-profit charity organization, Fight for the Forgotten. They build wells for the Pygmies in the Congo. Yeah, and he got malaria when he was in the Congo and he got it again. He's got it three times, but he got it one time when he got sick, when he's home, he got sick at home and then the malaria came back.

Oh, it came back. Wow. Yeah. So a fox that's fucked.

Sounds like it was somehow another dormant in his system. And then when his immune system was shattered by whatever cold or flu he got, the malaria kicked back in again. Does he take did he take take that Hydroxycut chloroquine. I don't know what he took. He's taking a bunch of different shit and he actually got really sick. What was that stuff that he said he got sick from? Jamie? It's there's actually he actually had toxic doses of this one malaria medication.

You're they've had issues with soldiers and people that are deployed in malaria infested areas where they take this stuff and they get this toxic reaction to this stuff.

And he had taken much more than they were taking. He had taken a very large dose and he didn't know that it was like really toxic until.

Well, yeah, that drug, the drug Hydroxycut chloroquine is working. People say that it is. I've talked to doctors that say it is absolutely helping people, but it's a very serious drug to have to be careful with it. But they say it's like the Lazarus effect.

People are getting up and walking out of hospitals, you know, like it is doing that is it for me.

I think it's good to think. I mean, Whitney has some of it in her house. Yes. Yeah, she's got it all. She's got a ventilator. She's killing it. She has a ventilator. She's got to ventilate. No, I'm joking. I don't wanna get her in trouble. No, she's got she's got the hydroxy. She's got his information. I mean, she's ready. She's ready to go. But that's the thing. You know, if you've done well and you're successful, you can go out and get all the things.

Yeah. You know, that's partially you know, it's like guys like me are in trouble.

But, you know, guys like yourself, you could get a ventilator, you get out of bed, you get a ventilator immediately, almost if you want it. A ventilator.

That's great. I'm I'm much more concerned with strengthening my immune system. Right. You know, that's what I'm doing.

Do you think we take too many over-the-counter medications and that kills our immune system? Well, for some people, they definitely do.

Some people take a lot of antibiotics because my brother Tommy would take Sudafed. You take all that stuff for such terrible. It's bad for you. Yeah, well, one of the things is ibuprofen. Michael Yo told me that his one of his buddies, who's a doctor when he was feeling really shitty before they diagnosed him with covid-19, his doctor said, oh, this doctor, who is a friend of his said take, I believe he said, take three Advil or three, three to five.

I forget what the number was every what is it?

How many milligrams are they milligrams.

No, I think he's he told them take three every five hours. And he said he immediately got much worse. And I've heard this from many people now. I don't know if there's a connection and I've read that there isn't a connection. But according to Michael Yo, that was when it was a tipping point for him when he started taking ibuprofen. These nonsteroidal antiinflammatory, that stuff is terrible for you.

France said not to take it.

France said take acetaminophen and take the other veterans say report on antimalaria. That's right. Mefloquine downplays side effects.

See, this is the that's the stuff that that Justin took.

Yeah. And he took a huge dose of it and he got really fucked up from that stuff, too.

So that's that's what disturbs me, is that things could could could be a virus that stays somehow or another in your body. Yeah, that's creepy.

Herpes is a virus, right? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. You keep that shit for like keep it forever. HIV, you keep forever. So these are. Yeah, yeah. Well HIV at least your body test negative. Are they only testing for the antibodies when we take this test. Yes. OK, well they can do the test test if you'd like to test test. I don't know that.

Don't be scared. Yeah. Come on. I think it would be funny if people were getting negative for Caronna, but then somebody is like, you do have HIV like that would be like not that big a deal anymore. Yeah. For me it would be fine. The doctor believes the healthiest thing about you, I mean like AIDS helps you would be like this is great AIDS, it's fighting off the flu. Have you had the thing done? AIDS is like he's mine.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, I had the antibody done. I don't have anything. OK, I was hoping I had the antibodies but I want the antibodies. Yes. I hope, I was hoping that I'd caught it. I want to sure.

That Meghan McCain could go to woo and eat a banana later back. That would be fun. Could I fly to China.

Would I be allowed to fly to China if I had the antibodies. I'm going to Wuhan.

You should do a comedy special as Meghan McCain, your whole special show.

She's ready to have me killed. So I left her alone. She had a pregnancy announcement. I'm like, I'm not going to do a joke about that. God bless. Congrats. She hates me.

So you think she does? Yes. Because I know somebody who knows her well. She doesn't like me.

You know what it is. I get it. It's fun. I don't get it. A lot of the people have made fun of in that sense, don't like, OK, but you're not really her. OK, now you're doing a character that is untrue. I agree. The people are very sensitive. We live in a very sensitive world, I guess.

And I did say she wanted to have sex with her dad, but it was funny. It's very funny. But part of that, I think, disturbed her. What made her mad? What made her mad is that she told a friend of mine because I didn't like that he made fun of my weight, which is interesting. Oh, that's hilarious.

I said she had a baby with her dad. She didn't care about that, but she didn't like, you know, a big guy put a wig on saying, I'm you. It's not it's not exactly. It's not you know, it's not flattering. That's the word. Yeah, it's not flattering. But this is what comedy rarely is. But now in a pandemic, everyone's got like the Wolk's. It's got to be over now. Right now it's coming back to it.

We're in a pandemic, I understand.

But the liberals are back home with nothing to do for now.

And then they're firing and writing articles like this is a gendered crisis. Nurses are women. It's like, oh, it's not.

Well, Bill Maher went hard in the paint. He did. And he was right. He was right. Yeah. He was also not totally right because he he was defending the use of the term Chinese virus, but really correctly termed it would be the Wootten virus. Yeah, but everyone. Right. Right. Everyone knows that it originated in China.

Yes, but but you called it the Wuhan virus. It would be historically accurate.

Reich is racist. You going to do hate crimes? Wouldn't know if Wuhan was in China. Like they would be like is.

No, no. I'm saying you're generalizing an entire continent or an entire country, at least the enormous country.

It's just a subset, a small section of it that had the virus. Well, it's like the examples he used was like Lyme disease came from Lyme, Connecticut.

But if if if if something came out of Colorado and it was killing everybody in Rocky Mountain ticks, would they say in China and they call it that in China, would they say the U.S. flu, the American bug?

I don't know.

I mean, someone in Chinese, I mean, there's it's a way to generalize it.

It's sloppy. But listen, this is the way it's been done for years. Yeah. But there's a clear reason why we put Trump. First of all, they were in heated trade negotiations with China. Right. So he wants to rub it in their face. China, China.

Yeah. And he also wants to take attention away from the fact that we were not prepared and knew and everyone knew, not only him, Nancy Pelosi, all of these people or even Foushee, all of these guys came out and said this is nothing to worry about. But Trump is the president. The buck stops with him. He could have ordered tests. He could have been more vigilant. He didn't do it.

So I think they were all saying not to worry about it. Everyone, the World Health Organization in January, the CIA wrote about them. In January, they were saying it does not transmit from person to person.

Yeah, but if you listen, if you're skeptical of China and you're skeptical, the World Health Organization, as he's he's very skeptical of China, but the World Health Organization up until then had not been criticized the way it's been criticized now, of course, but you still have to.

I think if you're the president, you're in a leadership position. You have to be like, wait a minute, what are we not knowing? The CIA wrote him a memo saying this could be a big problem. Yeah, I mean, we knew we were watching it happen for two months in another country. We're watching this happen in China. And I'm not saying that he could have prevented the pandemic, but like, dude, get the tests, give him to New York, give him a certain big areas, you know, have scale up the testing.

So what do you think? He didn't scale up the test? I don't think, you know, he didn't scale of the test. I don't know if it's first of all, is it him? But who is he? The one who does that? He's the president. If you say. But stop. How do you even know when you say he should have done. Yes, but I don't even know what was possible. Yeah, well, first of all, he could have the Defense Production Act, which I don't think he's he could have invoked that after this happened at to force companies to make certain things right.

But there was a lot of people that were thinking that this was just going to be like the flu. If the president, the United States said we need more tests for this, there's absolutely we would have had more time.

But do you understand that they didn't even have a test yet? Because it's a novel coronavirus, a new thing.

Yeah, but there were tests in other countries that were being used. I mean, Germany did this, right? Does it do they had more testing. They've had the mortality rates. Right. They've had kept the mortality rates down. They think there's a bunch of reasons why Germany kept their mortality rate.

Well, it's a very, you know, the culture. But but here's the other thing. They follow rules better. Taiwan didn't South Korea I mean, now they're having second waves. But like up until recently, Taiwan had very few cases and it's right by China. But again, a lot of it was testing. So, I mean, I think the China virus issue helps him deflect from any and I mean, you can't go out during a pandemic when nurses were in garbage bags and falling down to go, hey, my my press conferences are getting the biggest ratings they've ever done.

That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I can't do that. I mean, that's crazy. You know, that was just crazy. But that's him. He's fucking weird guy. Yeah. But he also did shut down travel from China. That was good. People are saying he was a racist.

Well, yeah. Well, Chuck Schumer should be held to account for that. Yeah.

Yeah, they really should, because that was the correct thing. To do I don't think he could have prevented this. I'm just saying there's got to be a better system than the one we have where states are like bidding for this equipment, like there's got to be a way. And that twelve hundred dollar stimulus that people are going to get is not helping anybody.

No, that's not enough. But when you say states are bidding, what are you talking about?

I mean, states are I don't think the federal government has the ability or we don't have the ability to get states equipment. So states like bidding for it. There's something going on like a lot of states are going outside the system to like secure which part part of their responsibility is to do. But it's just there's got to be a better system going forward.

Yeah, well, they didn't see this coming.

I mean, in terms of needing ventilators, like you go back to November, December, nobody thought that three months from now the entire country is going to be shut down. We're going to need ventilators everywhere.

No, of course not. And we and some hospitals may not need ventilators. We got to look at a city like New York and you got to look at what's happening in China and you got to go. There's a high population density there. We should probably try to shore up some of those hospitals, you know? I mean, otherwise, what the hell does you know?

But isn't it the people who run the hospitals, the administration of the hospitals, isn't their responsibility to make sure that they have in place the fact these people wearing garbage bags, they don't have enough masks?

I don't think any hospital is prepared for a pandemic. So if you're I don't think well, the hospital I think certain people have to direct them to do that.

Right. But when you're talking about just masks, how the fuck don't they have a large supply of masks on hand? It's not that financially prohibitive. I mean, that I don't know. I've no idea. But they know now.

But there's got to be there's got to be some responsibility. Yeah. Either it might be state government, could be local government, but there's got to be some responsibility. Somebody fucked up, somebody fucked up.

But it's also a new thing. I mean, I haven't had to deal with something like this before we had H1N1 swine flu.

How do you stop that? I don't know. But I've heard that, you know, that bird have it. But he said really? Well, that's nice. Sorry. Yeah, he said he was sick.

Is he's ever been in constant pain so he couldn't sleep. I don't remember hearing that much about swine flu, just being drunk. He was probably hammered.

He probably saw something about swine flu as he was passing it. And he's like, I have. That's why I have swine flu. That's what I have.

You know, I don't know, man. It's I mean, all we're doing is just talking. This is the thing. It's like everybody's sort of talking around in circles and we're hoping against hope. I tell people I'm a microbiologist now because nobody knows anything.

So I can know as much as anyone else.

And the governor wants to shut down this state for another month. Today's the thirteenth, another month in two days, which is kind of going to happen.

I don't know if that'll happen. Well, what do you mean? He's the governor. People are going to go out. I mean, people get, you know, my friend call me the other day because, hey, man, you want to come to an Easter thing. I my wife, he's like, yeah, it's only like twelve people.

I'm like, I don't I don't know each other. I'm like, you know. And then he sent me pictures of it. It looked beautiful but I wasn't. It was in Beverly Hills three weeks later, half of them are dead.

Well, I mean hopefully they are, you know, because I didn't go. So I hope they I hope they made good decisions.

Yeah. I look now and I want to choose who dies. I go, I'd like them to go. Who do you choose? Just friends of mine that I've had enough of. Yeah, it's people I could. Wow. What gets you.

Is it. You know what gets me. Yeah. When they lie about how well they did on stage.

Well that's annoying. Go. That's it. Like I said, I watched a little bit of it.

There was a guy in Long Island who used to I used to tell us all the time when we were very young at comedy in the green room and he would give us a speech about how to do stand up. And then you'd go on stage and bomb horribly and then he'd walk off stage and then look at us and he would go, they were good.

You would just walk out like he wasn't even there. Some people aren't even there. Yeah. They don't even know what's happening. They don't know if the audience is applauding or not.

Well, they put up a shield. They put up some sort of psychic shield to protect themselves from reality.

Yeah, not good. A lot of people are doing that, but it's not the case like those the guys who give the most advice in the green room before they go on stage. The ones suck the most.

Yeah, there's always the horrible no nobody. And I was in sales. Nobody ever made money, gave you advice. They just walked by you like you didn't exist.

Everyone who sits down is true. Everybody is making money, walks by you like you're not real.

When, when, when somebody starts bullshitting like in sales. I used to give people advice.

I would close no deals, I'd make no money. I would literally make no money selling.

I was selling subprime mortgages. Oh boy.

Yeah but but it was good for a while and then the government got involved and ruined that ruin that we're just trying to help people. Yeah.

And you know, we were people deserve homes job whether they have jobs or not. They deserve to have them all. They're giving people homes with no job.

Well, that's the other thing. And then everybody goes back and they're like everybody was, you know, the the banks robbed all these people. It's like they were in on it. Everyone was in on it. Everybody buying a house for the most part, knew what they were doing.

They all knew. Yeah, yeah. All the time.

You would have thought they could pull it off, you know, to call somebody be like, hey, you know, you know, you know, your brother owns. A Toyota dealership in Queens, can he say you work there and they go, yeah, yeah, course some guy would just write like Sarah works here. She kills. It makes and a mud slinging Toyotas on Northern Boulevard.

None of it was true. And then we give her a loan for four hundred thousand dollars to buy a house. Yeah. And she buys a house and then she'd see those.

And then the thing about the the changing of the mortgage payments.

Yeah. That's what, two years, two years you would get. There was something called the pick a payment option. I mean, great. So you had four options to pay, you know, usually a mortgage. You pay your principal interest taxes and insurance here you had for one was like you could pay one percent like a credit card or pay one percent. You could pay only interest. That was a second option. You could pay 30 year regular option or you could pay like a 15 year if you really wanted to pay it off quickly.

Nobody paid the 15 of the 30. Very few people did the interest, only they did one percent. So that deferred interest.

And it so you would pay your mortgage and it would balloon it would go up like you would pay one percent and your mortgage would go up every year. And then eventually you got to a point where then it would just readjusted your mortgage payment would go up like twenty seven hundred dollars.

And didn't your mortgage adjust with some of them depending upon the market. Yeah.

So like two years into a loan, two or three years into a loan. I had a house. I bought a house was twenty two. This was not smart but when you're drunk and I tell you I sold myself like you're not supposed to seven hundred thousand six hundred fifty thousand dollars. Yeah. Well you know, that's a big rule. You're not supposed to scam yourself. I scammed myself. That was, you know.

But when you're on cocaine, you're twenty two yet I want a six hundred fifty thousand dollar fucking hilarious Long Island. Yeah.

That it's not the best choice.

It was being acre lot going back. It was deep. I thought they were going to developers were going to sell like I would just stand outside my house smoking cigarettes, being like developers are eventually going to buy up my yard like I was, you know, on drugs. And I thought this was all going to work out. And I had a two year mortgage and then it ballooned and it went from what it was to like, you know, it went up like how much you pay in a month.

I think at the beginning it was forty four hundred. In the beginning that was a good payment. And then it would like guys. Yeah. It was bad. That's a lot, a lot of money beginning. It's a lot. It was a lot of money. I went to the house. Yeah. I rented the house out.

What did it balloon to it. Balloon to like well over six so yeah it was well over six and then that was the first adjustment.

Yeah. It was a twenty to twenty two and I was working a mortgage and I thought it was going to work out like I thought we were all going to be OK because everybody I knew was, you know, twenty seven years old and they were making thirty thousand dollars a month and they were driving like, you know, Porsches. So I said this is just going to go on forever. So after taxes, George W. Bush said we were building an ownership society.

You had to make a hundred grand a year just to pay your mortgage after taxes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was it was it was destined to fail. When I when I look back now, it wasn't smart. Did they take it from you? But I don't know. I just left one day. What. I just walked out. Yeah. Just one day I left. I mean you can't stay whoever's coming is it going to be. And so they just repossessed it. I would imagine they took it. Yes I was. Ten years. I have a credit card today.

I mean, I'm in L.A. now dressing up as a Meghan McCain. So I would met I just got my credit re-established recently. I just got it re-established. Yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah. Well not it is not good yet. It's gonna be seven years. I just write you as a cosigner on everything I know, but it's it's seven years.

Seven years before it fell off the credit report, I had a buddy of mine who knew that he was going to go bankrupt. Yes. Was in the 90s. Like early 2000s.

Yeah. So he decided what he was going to do was get a bunch of credit cards and run them up like good for time.

That's the American dream.

So what he did was just go to strip clubs. Yeah. And and go crazy with his credit cards for months and months and months and never paid anything.

Yeah. So he's going to do and then went bankrupt.

So this is smart. Trump's done it a bunch like bankruptcies. The move, you know, I didn't go bankrupt, bankrupt or his business is bankrupt. He filed chapter whatever chapter. I mean, it's smart. A lot of people do it. I mean, just the way it's the way to live.

You know, it's interesting. You can never do that with student loans.

Well, student loans, because they think that whatever money you make in your life is the direct result of the money they gave you to get that degree. Even if this is what's interesting, even if you're not doing anything that has anything to do with that degree, they're like, listen, fucker, we gave you that money so you could be a vet tech. So you owe us you wouldn't be doing your shitty job if not for Sallie Mae.

I don't think they even think about it, though. You don't think so? No. Well, then they just fuck you. You when you're a kid, when you're you're fucking frontal lobe isn't fully formed. Yeah. And they force a loan on to you because you don't want to be a loser. I don't feel about those kids. I don't feel bad for any of them because they could have sold subprime mortgages, you know. Fuck that. I went to community college and dropped out.

I don't feel bad for anybody who takes two hundred thousand dollars out and gets a degree in gender studies, it's, you know, fuck them, whatever, pay it or don't pay.

Gender studies. I hear you. Yeah, but the thing is, like, the reason why they're doing it in the first place is because they don't want to be a loser and then they get strapped down. But this insane amount of debt. That's true. That turns them into a loser.

Well, a lot of them aren't losers. A lot of them are just paying back something. And it's annoying. Right, too.

There's people that are getting their Social Security docked.

Yeah. And there's one there's people I've heard of selling blood to pay it back. It is bad, but I don't think the majority of them are in that. But here's the thing.

If you buy other things, you go bankrupt. You don't have to pay it back. Right. But you have to pay back your student loans no matter what.

So my advice to those people to degree, hey, the student loans and then fuck everything else, you know, I mean, or don't get a student loan or there's just the fact that it operates under a different rule.

And it's the one thing that seems not mandatory, but really, really, really enforced.

I mean, it's a thing that's like encouraged by extreme. Go to college, get a degree. Well, don't you think that's changing? Don't you think people are going to start to realize that like college in and of itself without a very specific goal is probably and the reason that the student loans are this expensive is because the government backs them. Right. So that's the whole reason they're expensive, because the government guarantees them the same reason that a lot of health care is expensive.

It's like companies know a percentage of it is going to be paid by the government. It's guaranteed. So I think you just got to kind of decouple the government from a lot of these schools. And then schools are like, OK, we can't charge 40 grand a year because no one will pay it.

Well, what I'm hoping is that it's going to be like like my kids right now are in virtual school in their home and they're sitting in front of the computer and the teacher gives them examples and they talk about things.

The teacher can see them in little windows culture that is to like assume assume everything. My whole life is a gym teacher can click on each individual person, see them full screen and ask them about stuff. The kids can talk about it. They're it's real.

It's real weird, man, because here's the thing.

You know, if you're paying whatever the fuck you're paying for, what is a state if you're going to a going to jail, what what does that cost?

A year, 70 grand, 60 grand, something very expensive.

A lot of these courses are available right now online. So you could just take a Yale course. Well, I know MIT has.

Yeah. Didn't Lex Friedman talk about that? That the courses are all available online for free. Interesting. So you can go there in person, but that seems so retro.

Why do you have to go to a physical place I guess is a good social experience. People don't have people can't watch their kids. Right. That's the big problem. It's really child care. Like if you look at what schools are, it's a way to get your kid out of your hair for eight or 10 hours a day because most people have to go to work. They don't have any they don't have they can't afford to pay somebody to watch their kids.

What do you mean? You mean school? School for little kids. For little kids. Yeah, a do it even in high school. Well, just a little bit of that, but it's just a lot of people need to learn. They learn socially. Yes. It's very important. That's for them.

It's not just structured environment. It's also experiencing being around people and learning how to interact with them. The weirdest motherfuckers I've ever been around were home schooled.

Yeah, home schooling is interesting, dude. I know a guy who is home schooled and he's so fucking awkward and he's in his thirties. He's just so he doesn't know how to hang. Yeah. He can't hang. He never learned how to hang. He's no one's ever fuck with them. Yeah. He doesn't know, he doesn't know how to deal with people jabbing him and just fucking around with them.

He doesn't get dead. He mentally ill. No. He's a smart guy in terms of like he could rattle off. Why did his parents home school them religion. That's that's part of it. It's a lot of it, man. Most of them are real Christian stuff. Yeah. Yeah. ActiveX to a lot of weird shit that were the whole deal.

Wow. I'm going to take apple cider vinegar and it's going to cure everything.

We going to trust Bill and Melinda Gates, you know. Well, with the vaccines, I mean, they're going all over the Third World, sticking a needle in anything.

I mean, those type, they are they are bad, but they're trying to you shouldn't try to help people. If it were cause past, what what do you think would be their motive?

First of all, Bill Gates literally has 90 billion dollars. He's trying I'm not saying good things with his money and trying to use this money for philanthropy. Yeah, but hold on. The idea that these fucking crackpot conspiracy theories have that Bill Gates is the Antichrist because he wants to get people inoculated from vaccines with vaccines and viruses that he's somehow or another trying to control people. Bill Gates has everything. He doesn't need anything concrete. He's not trying to get anything more.

He's making no attempts. You control markets, no attempts to get to like a thousand billion dollars. He's not doing that. He's using his foundation to try to help people get get healthy, help people get Internet, help people get running water.

They have I mean, listen, they've done things in the Third World, like they've they've introduced certain vaccines and stuff that have had adverse health consequences for people like what this is. I mean, you could look it up, but this is literally happen. I mean, they've been involved with things. When you say something like that, you don't want to get sued by the richest man in the world. And you're going to he's coming up to you right now.

I will. I will. I will gladly get in a high profile legal battle with Bill Gates right now about vaccines.

What do you think about vaccines? No, I think they're fine for the most part. But if he wants to sue me because it's something I said on a podcast, let's go. Well, we can only tell. What are you saying? He did not know. He went to I don't research these companies, but I know for a fact that, you know, he's been involved in vaccine things that did not go well.

Where'd you read this? I read it. Doesn't plan to talk.

Oh, no, no, I read it. This is this is a fact. This is a reality. You can't just accept people with vaccines when you're saying, yeah, it's a fact. Yeah. You have to be able to reference what you don't.

If you don't, you don't really have enough information to say it's a fact.

Well, it's something that's been reported and it's been credibly.

By who I mean, see what I'm saying?

No, it's incredibly Gates Foundation accused of dangerously skewing aid priorities by promoting corporate look at the people in the back of that photo.

They don't know what is what does that mean? That's that's not what we're asking. We're talking about adverse reactions to vaccines yet, Jamie. But but say that.

But let me see that article title again. What a bizarre title. Look at this. Accused of click on it, please. Dangerously skewing aid priorities by promoting corporate globalization. What does that mean?

So many quotes around everything. Everything is in one umbrella, right? Like his company, his his his health initiatives, all of these things work together and that, you know, you have to trust it.

Everybody's motives are pure. I don't think he's trying to depopulate the world. But, you know, these people stand to make lots and lots of money if people adopt certain vaccines. Right. Or certain things that are, you know, maybe medically advantageous, maybe not necessary, maybe not.

Yes, there's definitely an issue when money's involved with any sort of treatment. Yeah. And this is one of the issues that a lot of the conspiracy theories bring up when it comes to ventilators, that a hospital gets X amount of someone gets brought into intensive care and then they get Y amount of they're put on a ventilator. So they're saying, well, there's a motivation to put people on ventilators. Yeah, perhaps I would hope never. But there have been cases of people doing surgery on people that didn't need it.

There have been cases of people doing things to people and treatments on people where it wasn't necessary to provide, you know, something so that they wanted to make money. And they do things to people just to make money, not to make them better. That's happened.

I think there's something in India if you look at Bill Gates, India. But I think the vaccines. Yeah, I mean, there is no I'm not making this up.

I understand. But do you understand what I'm saying? That you're saying something as a fact and you have literally no data?

I have the I have the data. I just can't recall the exact name of it. That doesn't mean it didn't happen. But but you don't know if it happened. If you can't. I didn't even investigate the data. OK, here we go. Why, thank you.

Under fire from critics in India. Well, let's read it funded two entities that have played a key role in immunization programming are both under fire for conflict of interest. OK, it doesn't mean adverse reactions to vaccines. Thousand nine, several schools for tribal children. Jesus Christ.

Where does that say those names? The come a man. Come on, come mom district. Yeah, well, just in Telangana, tell Telangana. Then a part of undivided Andhra Pradesh became sites for observational studies for a cervical cancer vaccine that was administered to thousands of girls. So it's HPV disease. That's a dangerous vaccine. That's a dangerous vaccine.

Oh, those girls are whores. OK, forget it. Sorry. No, no, the vaccine is dangerous HPV. There's people who have had adverse reaction to that, like a high number.

The girls were administered by the with administer the human papillomavirus vaccine in three rounds that that year under the supervision of State Health Department officials. The vaccine used was Gardasil, manufactured by Merck.

Yeah. Months later, many girls started falling ill and by 2010, five of them died. That's all. But that is a I get it. That's a controversial vaccine, period.

I'm just saying it's good, but it's one of those ones where there's a high number of adverse reactions. Estimated fourteen thousand children studying in schools meant for trouble. The children were also vaccinated with another banned brand of HPV vaccine, Cervarix Cervarix, I like when they look on the nose like that.

Oh, cervical cancer. We'll call it Cervarix Cervarix, manufactured by GSK. Earlier in the week, the Associated Press reported that scores of teenage girls were hospitalized in a small town north in northern Colombia with symptoms that parents suspected could be adverse adverse reaction to Gardasil. Hmm.

So some people died from this vaccine, but is it Google HPV vaccine? Dangerous reactions?

Because I've read that there is a certain percentage, whether it's, you know, 110 or whatever, when there's a guy some people get when anyone stands to make billions of dollars and institute something that's going to be very widely accepted as now necessary for life, you know, you have to ask questions about it.

According to HPV vaccine manufacturers, the most common adverse reactions to Gardasil include include pain, swelling, redness, stinging, bruising, bleeding at the injection site and headache, fever, nausea, diarrhea, abdominal pain. And it keeps going. It's not that bad.

I'm not saying that he's doing something inherently wrong, but you have to watch people like that. The fact that nobody knows, nobody knows. You know, this is not a well-known thing. I understand. But the idea that this is how he wants to make his money by vaccinating, there's a reason why he's doing this to increasingly run by billionaires who tell us what is and isn't necessary and how things are going to be right.

That's true. Whether they're in tech, whether they're in health, whatever they are, these are billionaires generally. They give these TED talks and stuff like that. People don't pay attention what they're doing. They influence the political system in ways that we have, in ways that we know about and don't know about.

And you got to watch these people now know Bill Gates, although I have no idea what he wants to do.

We're talking about a totally different thing. And I agree with you. See, the thing is, before 2000, let's say 2000, no one had any inkling whatsoever that social media was going to have an impact on political realms on the way, you know, just language. What what sort of discourse was allowed, what wasn't allowed.

No one ever thought that this was going to be an impact and that these companies would literally earn billions of dollars by selling your data. Meaning what are you interested in? What are you clicking on? What are you going to. And that's what that's what they're getting their money from. This is a great podcast that Sam Harris put out. I wish I can remember the guest, but he was talking about how we didn't know that our data in terms of our search history, the stuff that we go to where where we travel to with Google Maps, we didn't know that that data was a commodity.

So we signed off on one of the most valuable commodities in the world. I think it's bigger than oil, right? It's gigantic. Yeah.

And these companies, not only do they gather out this commodity, but then they use their influence to to influence social aspects of our culture, the way we communicate, what's allowed, what's not allowed. And that's that's squirrely because these people are a lot of them are socially inept.

I mean, all the stuff you were talking about the beginning, when you say when they were going to come to you, they're going to say, you need a card, you need this, you need that.

The free flow of travel, how you're allowed to travel around the country, in the world.

A lot of these people, whether it's Gates or whoever, are going to have a huge input in those laws that are made.

And they kind of think they're doing it for a good reason. Of course, not everybody does everything because they think they're doing it for a good reason. Not necessarily, you know. Well, a lot of people do.

Some people I bought my house because I believe it was going to work. I bought it because I believed in home ownership. The point is that I just think you have to look into this. It's not my job to have every fact before I speak, but not it's not my job.

When you talk about Bill Gates and vaccines and things along those lines, you probably should.

If Bill Gates wants to tweet at me and educate me later at a real fear, the real fear is that they're practicing with these vaccines on poor people.

That's well, that's what they're doing. That's what you do. What do they call the school? A tribal girls school. I know. Tribal, tribal girls school.

What kind of crazy Native Americans.

I mean, Bill Gates wouldn't be doing that in Bel Air. Beverly Hills. You should you know, I agree. Kids start grabbing those tech talkers and fucking put needles in their face. Grab those little Beverly Hills kids. I don't private schools.

I walk around every day. Those little pieces of shit. Give me a fucking look, because they know I shouldn't be there. But it's close to my house where I have to walk. We have to walk and get air. Just see other people.

Beverly Hills is so weird because anybody could just drive through it. I know it's not blocked. I know, but I like that. But you go like that.

But you'll drive by these houses that are worth thirty million dollars. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, it's right there. It's thirty million dollars. I know I can throw a rock. Yeah.

But you know what it is. Gated communities ruin the fun for people like me that want to just appreciate other people's wealth.

You say that until you get rich. Why can't I know. Don't you get rich. You'll be. Living right next door to me, I going to come over and ask for sure if I'm allowed, I still allow me. By the way, you might say you would have to vouch for me with the condo board call. I'm not the kind of whatever the people, the people.

But here's the deal I want to go out and get. When I was a little kid, we would smoke pot. We drive around these big areas, we get inspired and we look at big houses and mansions. We get inspired. How that work out for you? None of us succeeded. The point is, it's nice to say it's nice to see Christmas lights on a big mansion. You shouldn't be stopped at a gate.

But what if you're a fucking psychopath?

Well, that's a problem. Yeah, that's a problem. I don't want to have to wait in the front of my house with a gun. But you're famous.

It's different rich people. No one's coming to kill regular rich people.

Do you know what you hear what happened when Sebastian's cousin, who is the exact same name as him, was and I don't want to say, do you know what happened?

Yeah, but is that is that I talked to Sebastian is a totally random some guy that's so weird. Two guys came to his house. They he they rang the doorbell with masks on, like the fucking covid masks, OK? He opened the door and they rushed to the house. But his cousin knows how to fight. So his cousin beat the fuck out of one of the wall. Shit. I'll send you the zem doorbell. Video footage of it beats the fuck out of one of them in the front of the house, goes inside and kills the other guy.

Crazy. Did you think about a gun? The guy had a big house. It's just they just house. Yeah, yeah. The guy had they had duct tape, they had tasers, they had all kinds of shit. They were planning on invading and killing some people. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Just random in the middle of the day, by the way, you've got to have the. Well yeah. Got to have guns and locks and answered the doorbell because he thought it was his gardener coming back because Gardener was there and then the doorbell rang and he assumed it was his gardener coming back.

Right. And the guy has the same name is Sebastian. But if we.

Yeah, but then we'll put gates everywhere. Then everyone's gonna have a gate. I mean it's just one. I mean, that's an example.

Well, I'm just saying that sometimes people's houses get broken into and this is one thing that you have to think about. Really think about. Yeah. With this economy going into the fucking toilet, it's going to be bad. It's going to be bad.

Thirty percent, they said on a sixty million people filed unemployment claims. It's going to get rough.

Well, also, the businesses hasn't they haven't even shut down yet. The businesses that can't get out of this haven't even realized they can't get out of this yet, right? Some of them have. But I think a large percentage of them are still trying to keep it together. We don't know. So when they go under, all the people that were working for them go on.

It's going to be very bad. I've I've an apartment on the first floor with a don't tell anybody sliding glass door.

I want you to I want people to come in, but I want people to come. Me? Why not? I'm kidding.

I want them to just come in and Bill Gates is going to kill you to do a podcast. Domestic HIV vaccine. I have a concern for the tribal girls in India.

I apologize. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. I haven't forgotten the tribal women in India who know what was the province again set me Cahaba. And these are good girls. And they're yes, they're whores and yes, having HPV. Right.

Well, they're just keeping them from getting it from dirty people like you. I support tribal horse.

The point is that I was worried about getting robbed as anyone because desperate criminals will me good criminals will rob you or try desperate people will rob me.

Well, people are going to rob because they need money.

We're in a weird place where the look, if you're in Brazil, Brazil is a good example.

You have a lot of haves and have nots. And when you go there, one of the things you see is barbed wire around people's houses and long like tall fences and walls and barbed wire on top of it. And then above that, in the favelas, you see houses with no windows and dirt floors. It's crazy. Wow. And they come down from the favelas, rob the rich people and go back up. And the economy crashes. The crime rises radically.

So Brazil is doing really well for a while and then went to shit. And so they're in a bad place now and the crime is really written down. I should get a gun. My Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah.

But my jujitsu instructor won't even he's from Rio. He won't even go back to Rio. He's like, it's too dangerous my friend. Yeah. They'll kidnap if they know you're American or live here they might kidnap you to get money.

Well when I used to do the UFC down there, it was fine. It hadn't gotten that bad yet. Look, Brazil's great. There's a lot of great things in Brazil. The food there is fantastic. You ever had Brazilians amazing.

The Brazilian house isn't all that's crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's in the fucking views. It's like we're sliding into that. Do you think there's a chance America sliding into one of those countries? Where is this economic collapse going to be too much, do you think?

You know, I don't know yet. No one knows. This is what's interesting about this in a bad way.

Yeah, it's like man who knows? Man who knows. You know, it's all weird.

It's all weird because we're in uncharted territory. We've never in the history of this country had a month where everybody was locked down and stayed inside. There was some lockdowns apparently in. 1918 during the Spanish flu, but that was you know, it's hard to know what the difference was between then and, you know, when they were locked down, whether they wore masks. You know, you have to go back. And I know at least for the last 100 years, there's been nothing like this.

So we don't really know what the fuck we're talking about.

We also don't know what's going to happen when they when they fling up the barn doors and say quarantine over.

Sure. Aren't people in China. Yeah.

In China, people are catching it again. I mean, it's they're having second waves. Yeah. Wow.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, I tend to think that people you know, they did a study in Ohio. Ohio didn't have and I have the facts. Ohio. In Ohio, you could look it up. They didn't officially close restaurants. So the 25th. But for the ten days prior to that, ten or 15 days prior, foot traffic had dropped 50 percent. So people didn't need an order or a law saying not to go out.

They were scared. They were scared. I went out on the 14th.

I went on the fourteenth. I ate at this restaurant in Venice. Feliks, my favorite restaurant. Yeah. And it was still pretty crowded. I was fine.

Yeah. My wife really does.

Who I'm trying to think one of the let one of the last places I was in was a comedy store on that Monday night and I didn't know what spot. And I was making fun of the virus. I was making fun of it. I said that like I was a guy. There was an Asian lady on my plane.

She coughed and we all beat the shit out of her and everyone was laughing and it was funny. Sounds racist. And it well, it was. And it was funny. And those are often Datatel.

They don't they don't tell. That's what it is. You know, isms are funny, you know. Yeah. And then and then I got offstage and the Asians loved it. They were laughing. We all laugh because nobody thought this was going to happen.

Well, also, nobody was going to be really beat the fuck out of anybody was obviously jokes because that's what comedy is.

So, you know, people in the room know that, you know, if somebody's written about it, they would have been like, this is inappropriate.

Well, the following Friday, I was supposed to do a show in the main room. No, not Friday, Thursday. And they called me up and said, we are going to shut down the main room, I suppose, do two shows which shut down the main room and cancel your shows.

And we're only going to open the OAH because the governor is asked that groups of more than two hundred people should be banned.

Such a weird, arbitrary number. But they were just trying to do anything they could think about this. When you talk about how Trump should have known better, this was our own governor who's very conservative now about this not not conservative, obviously liberal, but conservative about the moves that we make.

And this was in the beginning of March, in the middle of March. In fact, they were still saying groups of two hundred people in March.

So this is all fucking touch and go. And no, I don't think it's helping anybody. All this fucking pointing the finger and blaming this person, claiming that.

No, but you do have to look at a system ago. We weren't prepared. Yeah. We should have been better prepared. Right. We keycards Trump to get rid of a pandemic team, which I get it. If I had been president, I probably would have gotten rid of them to Dr. SOC scientist suck. So Trump was like, get him out of here to get rid of that team.

But was that his call? Well, it's his government. When did he do that? I'm sure he signed off on it. I'm hearing that there was something where they did shut down the pandemic. Yeah. Office. But I don't know the facts. But I do know that they reopened. They had a virus hunting organization that literally their job is to hunt viruses to find out where viruses are coming from.

And they just funded the shit out of them.

I mean, that sounds like a fun reality show, virus hunters thing, dude.

It's like this is we're dealing with one version of this. Yeah, this could get worse. This could be a new one next year. There could be another one.

The year end could just be our new reality. Just pandemic after pandemic. Yeah. Whenever a civil unrest starts happening in the streets, they just go a new pandemic.

Well, the problem is, number two, the problem is when you get large groups of people right, you're going to have large groups of people that need food. Yeah. And then you have factory farming. So factory farming is the cause of a lot of these pandemics. And then this fucking wet market is real similar in that regard.

This is going to be diseases jump to vegan's are kind of this is this is a decent time, right.

To set up their own systems. Right. They're making they're making that vegan point. They're not they're not know in terms of like their cultivation. No, but who's got the best point is the regenerative farming people, OK, are the Joel Salatin people that have figured out a way not only to sequester carbon, but actually they're taking carbon out of the air and reintroducing all these ancient farming methods where they're moving cows around a different plots. And you, Nino, are the wet mark.

Is factory farming, though that seems pretty independent. No, it's not factory farming, but it's animals in confinement surrounded by other animals living in these unnatural environments. That's what it is.

Whitemark is a foul. Can you avoid that when you've got to feed a population like that? Well, Osterholm Yeah.

You can feed them bugs, Osterholm. I had a whole he was the guy that scared the fuck out of everybody when he came on my podcast, but terrified me as a whole section in this book that he wrote from four years ago from 2017 about wet markets and now the next pandemic is going to come out of a wet market.

So we got to shut up. We've got to try to persuade China to shut them down. They're not going to you know what they did say?

They're taking dogs off the livestock listing like you guys doing good.

What about bats? Get the bats out of there. But I mean, it's almost like they're throwing people a bone, like, hey, we're going to we're going to say, no ducks.

We're going to stop considering dogs, livestock like, oh, you guys. But also they're not. They're definitely not. Well, neither, you know, but they eat them.

Right. We pigs. I don't need to eat. Right. So if I was really hungry and I had to eat a dog, I would eat a dog. I mean, these are just things that we would have to do. It's easy for me to say, but it's a lot more normal to eat a dog than to do what they do in Manhattan, which is put them in strollers and pretend they're children. Yeah, that's a little freakier to me, that a wet market is seeing like two 30 year olds walking down the block with a fucking Chihuahua in a in a bassinet, you know.

Yeah, of course. All over New York, kid.

Really? Yeah. People have like strollers. I'm a dog, mom. Here's my mom stuff. Yeah, it's crazy. And then they put the dogs, he dressed them up, they put them in strollers and they stroll them down the street. That is more grotesque than than than a well-run, wet market.

When I see that in someone's Instagram handle dog mom, I'm like, oh, it's bad.

Poor child. Those are female like Ansell's. Those are the that's those are that. My friend told me this is a kid that opened for me, Dan Carney. He said those are female in cells. They are the people like on the other side of the dudes where they just sit at home every night and get drunk and they're like, I'm a grandma, I'm such a grandma.

But they're yeah, you're just the worst at comedy shows because they're always offended. They're always white. They're always right. There always is always white women offended. They want to be part of the show. They're always liberal.

And then after they heckle you all night, they come out and they tell you how great you are. They're like your God, you're OK. It's disgusting. Yeah, it's bad. Boy, there were some of them I remember. I think Elijah was going to be at the store and a lot of her fans were there and, you know, and then she didn't show up. So then I came out. She was like a real culture shock because it's still expecting, like Eliza.

And then I walked out and like you could see like a lot because the first three rows were all hot white chicks. And then they looked at me like, what the fuck? Where the lines are going? What is this? I said something else to do. Some better to make better, huh? Yeah. So then they just called me and I just hopped out of an Uber and then there was a lot of disappointed, a lot of disappointed Instagram models there.

They were not happy. I came out and started yelling about the Clintons killing people. They were like, this is not the show we wanted. We did not want this.

Oh, in the middle of all this, there's a new fuck. And this the lady who said that Biden did something to her and now she's saying it was sexual assault.

Yeah, well, they're going to they're going to if they're smart, they're going to they're going to they're going to swap Biden out.

Well, this is kind of a meatball, but he's a better candidate than Biden.

But this shows the hypocrisy of liberals that they're not coming after him the way they came.

Yeah, they want they want him to be the representative of the Democratic Party.

But here's the thing. They are right now. They were wrong before. Like, here's why they're right now. And they were wrong before anybody could come at anybody with an allegation. Right. Anybody could come at any high profile. When you say believe all women, you have to live by that. You've got to believe Amber heard. You've got to believe everybody. Yeah. You've got to believe everybody knows Johnny Depp shit.

I saw a little bit of it. Jesus Christ. There's audiotapes where she's talking about hitting him. Yeah. And then there's a new video where it shows his severed finger.

She threw a fucking vodka bottle on it. She was to slice the tip of his finger off. Literally, there's pictures of the finger and there's the audio recordings of the doctor looking for the fingertip. They're looking for the tip. They can't find the tip. They're like, where's the fucking fingertip? In the room. Oh, my God, look at the blood. And you can hear them talking. And she's, like, violently sobbing in the background.

So they decide to give her three times whatever antipsychotic medicine they're on, that she's on. So she's on this this dose. They decide to jack it up to three X, whatever the doses. But meanwhile, this is the lady that had him. Me, too, and was saying that he beat her and leave a mark on her face. Believe all women. Well, that's the whole thing.

So the Democrats are now reaping what they've shown in the sense that anybody can can approach some, you know, the press with it, unsubstantiated allegations about somebody who's high profile. I mean, I understand that women aren't just willy nilly lying about stuff, but the picture changes when there's somebody who's a politically divisive, high profile figure where there is a huge incentive to knock that person off. Right. There's a huge incentive, whether it's Brett Kavanaugh, whether it's Joe Biden, there's a huge incentive to derail that person.

So I think in that instance, because I do believe that, like most women are not just making things up. That being said. When you introduce politics, there's a whole nother level, it's a whole nother layer. Well, for sure. I mean, the intelligence agencies could be doing this to me now.

You know, I could. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying this woman who actually work for Biden's campaign is a foreign intelligence agent.

We have no idea. What I'm saying is that for sure, men have sexually assaulted women. Also, for sure, women have lied about being sexually assaulted. Those two things are they're not mutually exclusive. They go hand in hand. Right. People are liars.

You people lie about the past. Some people also are delusional. People are also psychotic and schizophrenic.

Yeah, all sorts of things are going on. But this when you say believe all women, that is a crazy thing to say. Believe that's like saying believe all people. Correct. It's the same thing. Can't do. So what do you do when you believe the liars to do you believe murderers? Do you believe people that are trying to get out of jail do believe rapists? You can't believe all people. Right. You also can't believe all men.

Well, you also can't believe all women. That's crazy talk. Do you believe Casey Anthony? No, of course I do. No kidding.

I mean, she's the one that I make an exception for humor. Seems like a good kid.

Humans are individuals and some people are fucking crazy. Yeah. I mean, so he's I don't know, man, but I think the bigger problem with him is he's he is in some stage of dementia, dementia, 100 percent. He's unwell. There's something he's unwell or he's a folder. Either that or he may be just as bad. He folds under pressure. He's close to the finish line. He's just bumbling all his words and choking and forgetting what he's talking about.

I don't think it's that I think something's wrong because you know why they're it seems like it's degenerative, like it seems like it's gotten it's getting worse. So that's why I think something's wrong 100 percent.

Well, also, he's old as fuck. Yeah. Also, he looks bad, right. Doesn't look like a healthy guy. No.

I was looking at this weird Lady Gaga thing today with him and Lady Gaga where he's talking about how no one should ever put their hand on a woman who and I'm watching this because I guess Lady Gaga was sexually assaulted. But who the fuck is ever going to watch that and say, you know what, I was going to put my hand on a woman, but now I'm not going to go back to that?

She looks like Hilary go back to on a story about, oh, OK.

She has a Hillary haircut and an interesting move that Hillary.

Yeah, look at it. I'm sorry. It's actually old Kazaks. It's from twenty seventeen. Oh.

Kind of looks a little. I was just coming out now I guess people are throwing it around now but what were they saying. I don't know. Nonsense.

But here's the thing. They were saying no one should ever put their hand on a woman. Of course they shouldn't, of course. But if you're thinking about hitting a woman and Joe Biden is what keeps you from doing it.

Like what? I don't understand the logic. That's it.

Odd, I guess maybe if you're a woman who's being abused, it could perhaps encourage you to go to the authorities, right? It could perhaps. I mean. Right, but I would imagine. But by saying by him saying no man should ever put his hands on a woman, who the fuck thinks they should who's like they not disagree that men should just beat the fuck out of women and keep them in line. Somebody something somebody said once. It's like when somebody goes, hey, I'm pro family, it's like that's a controversial position, you know, I'm pro fam, right.

But all these public service announcements, all that kind of shit, it's like, OK, who are you doing that for. Yeah. Like who's out there going? I was about to rape but then I saw Joe Biden and he's like, don't rape. But he's got a point. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a good citizen. That Joe Biden. I just respect him. He's a statesman too.

What does it do? Well, it's just that that's part of why nobody believes anything and nobody trusts anybody. Right. That's part of why these guys that are online are they go hard in the paint with conspiracies because these are buffoons, like the people that we have ruling us have been exposed as like creations. Right.

These people, everything they say, scripted, you know, all of them are in the pocket of big business interests and like and these people have been exposed. So now we don't believe anything. We don't believe the media. The media said the Covington kids were, you know, harassing this Native American guy, it turns out, was completely wrong, completely the other way around. So you don't believe the media and you don't believe the politicians. So it's like it gives you don't want to believe how much those Covington kids get.

They got a lot right or. No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I think it was I didn't look at the legal transcript. I want to get one of them kids on.

Yeah, well, you got to get the main one that the kid who smiled.

Yeah, I think in my mind that that kid should get a Medal of Honor for his composure. Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong. Guy walks in his face and starts beating a drum. Did. Which is from a child. My God.

That guy would have sold a house that Native American I would be living in a townhouse right now. But yeah. I mean, but again, so that's an example of the media clearly lying, not even being wrong. No manufacturing news.

Well, they. Definitely distorted the facts. Well, they manufactured it so well, it was not what they said it was right. We had an image. The image was a smiling kid with a magic hat with a Native American guy and his face. From there, they extrapolated something that didn't happen. We assumed, because that image that the kid got in the face of the Native American man, well, it's their job to do to some investigation, to do reporting, do their due diligence.

They didn't do any of that. So then they created this thing out of thin air where the kid approached the native guy and they were all chanting.

They were doing a school chant. They were chanting, fuck the Native Americans. They were doing a school chant. I know. And the media went in there and just blown out of proportion.

Well, apparently also in Washington, D.C., around that area, you could buy maggots everywhere. Right. So it's like there are these stands set up. Yeah. You know, like kids. Well, yeah. You don't know what they're doing. Yeah. It's like if you're going somewhere and fill in the blank, you know, is like Mardi Gras.

They have beads everywhere, right. Yeah. Well this area, they have maggots, people selling shit. Yeah. So they went over and they bought these hats because they're dorks, because they're meanwhile you and I would have probably done the same thing. We're absolutely done the same thing. Yeah. If we thought it was controversial to wear a magazine, we'd probably be wearing mag.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Especially if you're 16. You don't know what the fuck you know. When they also listen, they're allowed to support the president or from Kentucky. They go to some Christian school. It's probably wacky, but they went for some pro-life march. That's what it was. Right. It was a pro-life march.

And they show up to this thing. And it's just it's it's an indication was because sometimes I'll be on Twitter and I'll get really frustrated because people are like this far is fake. And, you know, how do you believe CNN? And I'm like, OK, guys, listen, that thing's not fake, you know?

But then the reality is they've seen so many instances of the media either embellishing or manufacturing. It's hard to get mad at people that are that are skeptical. You know, it's hard to get mad when the Jeffrey Epstein story goes away and no one cares anymore that the biggest political scandal of our lifetime goes away. When no one cares about any of that anymore.

People get very you know, they get very cynical about all the information that's out there. And I go to war conspiracy people all the time because they're like, no, this is you know, but the reality is I can't fault them for believing in this stuff because there's so much out there. You know, we're in the no man's land of logic.

Well, it's also when people have these preconceived notions that they're clinging to despite the evidence, you know, like whether it's either either the Seth Rich murder, like nothing to see here, nothing to see here, right?

No, it's not not like a guy was working for the DNC and a guy who gave information, according to WikiLeaks, gave information to WikiLeaks and was shot and killed with kept. They didn't touch his wallet or his credit cards or his cell phone. Yeah, yeah. I mean, nothing to see here.

Well, it's just way when you dismiss all conspiracies, it's the same thing is believing all conspiracies, when you dismiss ones that are like, hmm, well, you know, and anybody see it got to the Jeffrey Epstein one where everybody was like everybody was like, wait, what?

Yeah, that was one slow people down. I mean, the fucking physical evidence that Michael Baden report where he said this is not consistent with someone and this is consistent with someone getting strangled from the back.

Yeah. That's why when I, you know, with the Kuhnen stuff, with Eddie or Sam or any of those people, it's like I said, some of it is probably true. There are like a lot of like very powerful pedophiles doing horrible things. But then from there, they've extrapolated it to go into this whole story, which I don't know if it does. It seem like it's true. There's no evidence.

Well, I don't know the Kuhnen story, but I know that every time someone starts talking about it, my eyes glaze over. Well, because.

Well, because because it's like religion you've got to trust it's all they all say trust the plan. So they say that there's there's these secret people within the intelligence community that are giving us information. And then with that information, we've got to piece together what's really going on.

But it's all about these child pornography or child pedophilia.

It's all about these things which do exist. They 100 percent exist. The problem is these people believe that Trump is fighting them in his shadow intelligence war. I don't know if that's the case. Right. I don't know if that's the case. It doesn't seem to be sweet. If it was, how does he have the time, if you're right, that I'm sorry, how does he have the time to shut down the borders, get the ventilator's, get them?

Well, that's what they believe. They believe the virus was a cover to go arrest all the pedophiles and that they they were freeing kids that were kept in tunnels. I don't know why billionaires need to keep kids in tunnels, but again, you've got to take them at their word.

Oh, my God, I need to spark a joint.

I can't hear you anymore. You know, you hurt my head. All I did was come on this show trying to advocate for girls in India and protect them from tribal protect tribal girls from the Bill Gates. Neidl attacked. And Joe comes. Where are your facts? How offensive is that? Where am I? How insane is it that I need to know my facts before I make a statement on the show that's being watched by millions of people?

Yeah, especially with the Kuhnen stuff. It's twenty twenty the world over.

I'm going to say what I feel is right. I'm going to say what I want to say. It doesn't matter anymore.

Give me a prediction. Twenty twenty one mid twenty twenty one August of twenty twenty one winning again.

That's that. That's not even that doesn't account, you know, a friend of mine sent me this, and it's really kind of an interesting theory. He said, if you look at whenever there's a an incumbent that's running for re-election, the Democrats always throw someone lame against him.

Interesting. Makes you think it's a unit party, makes you think it's not real. Well, it's also that they don't want to waste anybody. Well, let's think about Budha, Judge and Klobuchar. They've got real potential. Yeah, but especially with a couple of years of seasoning, right.

Sure. If if if a judge can, you know, he was the mayor, he abandoned that position because it wasn't worthy of him. Right. And then he moved on. Well, the CIA told him it was time to run for president, whatever its that point. Absolutely.

How do you know he one of his mentors is a guy named Doug something and people to judge was you know, he was in the military but he barely did anything. He's always posing with his rifle. It's strange. And again, he's just listen.

Do you think he's really gay? Yes, probably. Maybe not. He's in the CIA. He seems gay, though, but he also seems like he's a CIA. You have to ask yourself when the biggest companies in the world and the biggest billionaire start lining up behind the mayor of a small Indiana town.

Something's going on. Yeah, same thing when it was the governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. Something's going on.

I have a friend who is pretty deep in that world who deeply distrust that guy.

Of course, he's like, I do not trust a word that goes, know what somebody said to me?

Why aren't you going to love this quote? He said, The dangerous people aren't the guys that were born rich. The danger, he goes, they are dangerous because the most dangerous people are the guys like Budha, Gedge, who will do anything. They come from outside and he goes there. Just it's raw ambition.

They'll do anything to get where they're going. Those people are more terrifying than the Kennedys or Bushes who were born, you know, and those families are murdered.

And that's where Abyssinians to come along. Come on. The local express on the rise, y'all.

Come on in. You're going to get in with all the type people. Jeffrey Epstein, associate Kaseem Maxwell sues his estate and good for her because she lost and seeking to recoup legal fees to defend herself against Epstein related allegations. Oh, Jesus. Yeah.

She didn't know anything about it. Of course not. How could she know anything? She was within twenty four seven. She was taken advantage. And I believe I believe all women. I believe her. I believe just Joslyn.

She's a woman. Is she. She's probably in Israel. Oh.

A complaint filed the Superior Court of the U.S. Virgin Islands. Oh, that's where she is. I think she's in the Virgin Islands.

She's being taken care of by the Mossad. You think so? Yeah. It was a MassArt up, supposedly, right? Yeah.

Don't don't I mean, I don't have an exact on that, but I, I trust my sources. Yeah, you have sources. I well I told you some stuff about that of course.

Crazy. Crazy. Is Dana White going to buy that island and he's going to do. Yeah.

Fights are going to be on Fuck Island and they're all going to they're all going to take place after midnight way in front of that temple. You're going to hang a goat by its ankles. Yeah. And slice its neck soon enough to eat it in this country.

Again, it's going to symbolize the start of the proceedings.

It's it's crazy, man. But I think we're in this weird, dystopian future where you don't know what to believe. Yeah, well, we're we're definitely there.

We're definitely there. And that's going to usher in mind control by virtue of software that allows you to read each other's thoughts. Wow.

That's what's going to it will think there's only one way to tell for sure. We all take the implant, put it on the side of our head. You can't go outside. Where's your implant? Yeah, they're going to put biochips under your skin.

They're going to get all that cool headbands, you know. Yeah. Cool headbands that you wear that like they're stylish also. Like at a certain point, maybe that's just what we have to do because, you know, what else we do in this country, it going to buffets and, you know, eat and fried chicken and selling each other hand grenades and taking cruises.

I think I mean, think of folks, right? I mean, how often do you see people walking around and they just have this thing in their hand where they go and we just think of it is no big deal.

It's going to be in your head soon. Yeah. If you go. But go back. Twenty five years ago, that was not the case. You didn't see people walking around with phones. Right. Didn't walk everywhere with a phone in their hand. No, but now it's a normal part of life. Yeah. In normal part of life will be you're going to wear this thing, it's going to be on the side of your head. And if you're lying, it'll be red.

That's great, because I love to lie. What do you lie about? My I mean everything. Hi, how are you. Good to see you.

It's so funny. So funny. So funny. So good. It's so good. Yeah. So good. We all lie like a little bit.

If you're not lying you're wasting. If I'm not lying it means I don't care or you're wasting a lot of time. I didn't show up to Dr. Drew once. I didn't. I totally forgot. I went to the beach. Idiot, right. I was at the Trump Golf Course at Pilates Fridays. I get an email from the booker of your mom's house and they said, Are you finding parking OK? I panicked. I didn't know what to do.

So I forget. Totally, totally forgot. Totally forgot. They didn't send a reminder, which they don't have to. I'm an adult, totally forgot was in the Trump. So I said, OK, well, Trump. So I said, listen, my mother is sick. She's on her deathbed. I know about this. Yeah, I've told it.

I talked about Integration's and I said I said my mother's on her deathbed. I have to fly to New York. I'm so sorry. Ten minutes later, I realize there's a picture of me on Instagram at the beach and, you know, Manhattan Beach.

But why did I lie? Because I cared.

I was embarrassed that I didn't go. So the lie was because I cared.

If I didn't if I just went, oh, sorry, fuck. Sorry did forgot that would mean I didn't care.

Because you mean you're a comic and you forget about things. I know. But sometimes you got to lie to, to, to, to, to show people you care about them.

Hmm. Interesting. What's a good way to think about it. Interesting.

It's a pretty good way to think about it. That's the way the government thinks too. Like we lie about you to prove that we care.

Really? Yeah. Guaranteed. Yeah, I think people can't know this, they cannot handle the truth. Like what? Anything, aliens, all of it.

Have you read that book, Chaos about Manson, the Manson family? I've read some of it.

Yes, Fitzsimmons is, buddy. Yeah. It's coming out on Thursday. It's going to be interesting.

Will, all that stuff in the CIA, what was going on in Laurel Canyon is crazy. There was this guy wrote a book, Dave McGowan, and he wrote a book called Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon. And it's all about this weird overlap between like this burgeoning music scene and a lot of like intelligence things, the LSD, Timothy Leary, all these things that were happening in the Haight Ashbury and Laurel Canyon, like where they were, you know, you know, running operations, experimenting these mind controlled drugs on all these different people and like cozying up to weird cults.

And it was very strange.

The book's about. Yeah, I'm in Chapter eight now. It's really wild. It keeps getting crazier and crazier, like once they get deeper and deeper into the CIA mind control ops. Okay. And what they were actually doing and what they're allowing there were like literally letting people free. They were telling people at one of the murder trials to never bring up Charles Manson, don't talk about it. He was the prosecuting judge or the judge, rather, was being told to to ignore evidence about Manson.

Don't bring up the prosecuting attorney. Don't bring up Manson. They were being told to not bring up Manson because the CIA was studying human behavior.

In order to do that, they had to get in bed with some very, you know, nefarious characters, people that were not just studying behavior.

They were trying to get rid of the hippies. They were trying to disband the hippies, and they were trying to use people like the Manson family to attack people that were in black. Rights movements and civil rights movements are trying to destabilize a lot of the anti-war movement. Opposition groups crazy.

They were also trying to, like, create a Manchurian candidate, see if they could wipe some of these mind clean and control them.

You know, a lot of those microtonal experiments went went back to, you know, Operation Paperclip, where you had, you know, scientists that were in Germany doing these really harrowing experiments on people. We brought them all to America after this, and they continued a lot of those experiments here.

You know, we've talked about Operation Paperclip too much until the whole thing is like, did it ever stop?

That's the interesting, of course. But it never stops. It's it's still going on right now. Why would they stop? Well, why of course. Why would it stop?

Why would they I mean, when you go to Operation Northwoods and you find out that the Joint Chiefs of Staff had already signed a document saying that they're down with blowing up a jet airliner and blaming it on keep blowing up about using Cuban friendlies, arming them to attack Guantanamo Bay, it's crazy. They're like, if we can do this in nineteen sixty, if they were doing that in the early 1960s. Yeah, well everything evolves right now. Everything evolves.

Yeah.

Why wouldn't that evolve. It's interesting. And you wonder what are you know are these are some of the are these are apps, you know, the new mind control like what do they look at an app and see the way people are behaving?

Well, that's why the government is telling you to get off a tick tock. And Google won't allow people to have tick tock on their phone. It's a change. Yeah, there's other things. Zoome They're saying Google saying don't don't have Zoome on your computer if you work at Google. Interesting.

Well, because I'm CLECs, I think a lot of data from your phone or something like that, like it collects everything. I don't understand.

There's the compromised, there's, there's certain security problems with the application and the president of the company that created it said they fucked up. The CEO said they fucked up, that there's been some fuck ups. I just don't think that they expected this many people to start using it that quickly. And I think because it's scaled up because of the pandemic, everybody was like, what the fuck?

I didn't use it. They were going to do a call, an Easter call, and they were going to put twenty people on it. My family and my little cousins like, do you want to come on this?

I'm like, dude, let's stop. And then he told me it was hard. It's twenty people. We got elderly people on there who don't know what's going on. They just being told to look into a phone. They have no idea what's happening. There's twenty people, half of them are drunk in their home.

They haven't seen the outside in a month and they're all screaming over each other. It's like yeah this isn't a good use of anyone's time. No.

When also they're doing these comedy things. Did you see the one with Christ, with Burt and Sandler now?

It's probably the worst thing I've ever seen. Yeah, that's when Burt said he called it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that.

He has no idea what Sandler's done. He didn't even know Sandler apparently was a comedian.

He thought Sandler was like a fucking happy Gilmore. What are you going to happy Madison or something?

And then he said, I'm going to watch just like not uncut gems. He said, What? Precious gems or something? Precious gems. Yeah, that's he didn't know uncut gems.

And also he asked him if you want to film one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? And he's like my own like morning TV and wondered if Bert was trolling.

I thought it was doing that on purpose. Yeah. Because it was brilliant, you know, certain things. Oh, I think he might be a genius because he does certain things like did he do that to just get that level of no trust.

That's just when he's not drunk and Bert's not drunk. He doesn't even know what reality is. Why is this air feel so weird? It's like, why is the sky blue?

He doesn't know what the fuck life is, but he's very smart in terms of, like, savvy marketing is good. Well, he's relentless. He's relentless. Yeah. Yeah, he's he knows a lot about that stuff. So she knows a lot about being relentless. Yeah.

Sometimes I'll see something he does and I'm like, that's smart.

Well, he makes good little video promos for specials and roars and stuff like that. He's good at that. Yeah, he's good at self promotion.

It's very true.

So I didn't know if that was I didn't know if he was really asking Adam Sandler if he had Netflix. I said that seems odd to ask someone if they have Netflix when he's made movies for Netflix fucking.

So I'm like, is he doing that as a as a bit of like, oh, good job.

Oh, he doesn't know what he's doing and he's making noises with his mouth and then trying to figure out what they are in real time.

That's what it is.

I mean, you should never be not drunk. But wait a minute, you flip it on this because you should never be sober. You should be drunk all the time, OK? You should just be drunk because they're better at it. He's like he's amazing when he's pretty strong if he's talking publicly. But actually, we did a podcast the other day.

He wasn't drunk for the beginning. And then we started drinking and then we started smoking a little weed. Let's come on.

Let's just. Here you go. And he said that he had been sober the entire quarantine, except for that one day. Is he worried about Corona? Oh, yeah. He should be on high blood pressure medication. Yeah, I'm in a lot of I'm a bigger guy.

I don't know if that's going to be a you know, Joey's a big guy, like. Oh, yeah. I mean, these are I don't know how much that matters, but it's gonna be good. It's definitely good. It definitely matters.

It matters for immune system. Yeah. You know, are you taking any CBD? Do you take CBD at all?

No, but if I could take CBD, wouldn't it be high? I'm sober so I know that. So you can get. Yeah. You know, as a percentage of. Yeah, yeah. CBD M.D., is that good for the immune system. Yes. This, this actually won't try this. This is what is it.

Kill Cliffe with 25 milligrams of CBD. Not a lot of coffee. You don't really drink.

I don't know. No there's no caffeine.

There's no it's just I'll tell you this is delicious. I'll just drink it with them. I'm drinking it the whole show.

What is the what is the best thing you could do for your immune system if you don't want vitamin C, vitamin C, take a lot of vitamin C, but particularly if I eat an orange, I have to take it on SHAWKI.

I like taking it though because it ensures that you're going to get a specific amount of it. I take four thousand I use of vitamin D every day as well.

OK, I think that's, that's really good for just like a regimen of vitamins. Yeah. Yeah. I take my mother through the Psion every day. Yeah. I take, I may take a packet of vitamins every day.

Did you when you took the test were you like, hey, I want to you would wanted the antibodies or you would just like I don't want any caronna.

I would like to know that I had it and it bounced right off my immune system, you know.

So the thing is I asked my girl, OK, does this mean I was not exposed to it? He goes, no. He goes, it's possible that you were exposed to it, but your immune system fought it off before it ever got to your bloodstream. With this antibody test means is that was in your bloodstream and your body fought it off.

So it never got into my bloodstream.

But he said it does not mean you weren't in contact with it.

So it's like, OK, because when I came back, I came back from Vancouver and I was sick. And then they diagnosed it as strep. But they also said that's a common cold infection.

And a lot of this time early March, March 3rd. Oh, you might have had it. I think I find out in a couple of hours. I think I think I had it. I think I had it. I beat it. Really. I think I had it. I beat it. We're going to find out if I find out.

And of course, I did. And they're going to tell me. No, they're going to say you don't have it. But if I have those antibodies, I mean, it's just going to be Buckwild. There's a I'm just going to get on a plane and go to New York.

Did I send you the video? The guy on Thunder Foot. The guy from YouTube? Yes. Is yeah.

He's a I think he's a chemist and he's worked at CERN.

Really, really intelligent, interesting guy. But he's making these YouTube videos on covid-19 and how really how dangerous it actually is. And his estimates are that if we opened up everything, you could get death rates as high as three hundred thousand a day.

Yeah, which is like what. Yeah, it's crazy. That would collapse the system. Right.

I mean, we could hear Jamie announce the council to reopen American troops on the council.

I feel comfortable. Yeah, I feel comfortable. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kushner's on the council. Yeah. Come on. These are his kids. How is that. How is that not disgusting?

Well, this is part of the problem with his administration and even his conservative fans don't like this.

Well, there's seven people and two of them are in his family.

Like even Ann Coulter has said, listen, this is not what anyone signed up for, giving your kids jobs.

That is so crazy that he's taking this girl who's like thirty years old and her goofy husband.

And that is those are our about the safety of these guys, health people. They're all financial people. Right. Or any of these any of these people have anything to do with health.

I don't know who's Larry. Larry Kudlow is an economic adviser. He was like a big Coke head in the 80s. What? About he was awesome. I mean, it's fun, yeah, but I don't think yeah, there's there's there's things in a book about him doing Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone anyway. Moving on. And Wilbur, what about Wilbur?

Wilbur Ross is the commerce secretary. Right? I mean, I don't know. He looks like he is a demon who's eaten children of fish. I mean, look at his look at his face and he tell me he's not eating a child in the woods.

Maybe he's right. He's like an outsider.

Mark Meadows looks like he's being blackmailed currently. Yeah. Yeah. What do they blackmail Mark for? I guess in a fictitious world.

This is just for women. Tie him up and shit on them, shit in his mouth or on his chest.

They tie him up in a in a in a in the bedroom. In which video. Yeah, they probably suffer.

And he tells them to take video of them and he calls them up because I can't believe you have that video. Maybe a little too. They call them up, they go give me money back and he gives them money.

Yeah. That's happening now. Yeah that's happening there. I mentioned yeah. He could sue me if he doesn't like concussion. Do you think his wife boxing gloves on. I don't think anyone fucks him. I think Minutia has got a hot wife though. He probably does.

You have a lot of money. You get a whole life. You know, a lot of these guys, a lot of these guys do.

That's how they get money, right? They get money so they can have a the whole point.

Otherwise, why would you get a lot of money when you got to Fire Island or Hot Wife?

But like, if you really had billions and billions of dollars and you didn't have a hot wife, like, what are you doing with all that money and fucking a lot of different hot women on the side? Yeah. Keep them quiet. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's part of it, right. How much you got to give them to keep them quiet. A lot.

Not a lot. But what keeps this here's the thing with a lot of these guys that are just money people like what keeps them working.

It's the same thing. That's what keeps us doing stand up. It's just the desire. Yeah.

I think it's just a desire to be good or great at something and just continually do something and get better and better at it. They want to make more and more money.

There's an end. You can never be that like stand up is great because you can never you never feel like you've mastered it. Right. And I think money's great because it's always more and more to get. So these guys, it gets it's a way for type A personalities to just throw themselves into something that they'll never fully master.

You know, they're addicted. You get addicted to it. We all get addicted.

So it's just it's a game they're constantly playing and they're always looking to be in the black.

Yeah, they I mean, these I know some guys at work, a very successful guys. And it's just like it's it's akin to a religious experience.

That's how they feel the most alive. When they're winning, when they're winning, they feel the most alive, like we feel really good on stage. That's where we feel alive because we feel really good creating.

Creating. Right. When you have a bit like this, when you put a bet or a video clip like the Meghan McCain. Yeah. Anything. Yeah. When you put it together, those things you're creating and creating once it launches you like haha we did it.

Yeah, we gave birth, we did a thing that was creative and funny and that's why podcasting now thank God. I don't know what the fuck I would do if I wasn't making these little videos and podcasting. I don't know what I would do but this is weird. Right.

I need this has got to go somewhere. Unless you're right I will get sued.

These poor fucks that don't have podcast.

Yeah, well, a lot of people that have sympathy for them, they kind of they thought that the stage was a constant. And a lot of people believe that it was like nobody could take away your stand up.

You like Bellbird was like they can't take away your stand up for your podcast. Everyone, everyone believe that. And then you never thought about a fucking pandemic. You never thought that, like, one day it would be illegal to gather.

How long are you going to wait before you take the Bill Gates vaccine?

You know, I will I'll think about listen, I'm pretty confident I've beaten this and I have antibodies, so I don't know that I need the vaccine to find out. I think I have it. I'm going to talk pig because I think I beat it.

But what happens after an hour and a half comes back like, no, I will say that strep throat will say the test is faulty.

I will not believe the test. No, I will take the Gates vaccine. My concern is for the tribal women.

Yeah, I will take a microchip in that.

This is what we got to watch. This is what we got to watch. We have to watch these people, tech people scare me a lot more than financial people because financial people are crooks. You can see them coming a mile away. Tech people think they're doing stuff for the greater good. They're they're more cult leaders. It's very dangerous when you have all these people that are supposedly altruistic and they're they have all of these, you know, and they're operating pretty much in the shadows.

You don't know what you're doing. You don't know where this money's coming from. You know, but I'll I'll probably take the vaccine. I'll probably take it, do you wish during this time that you smoked pot? Yes. Do you ever thought about starting up again? No, because I think I would get too paranoid. Yeah, that's part of the fun. I know. Like I said, I feel about secondhand smoke. Can you get smoking?

You smoked last time was fine. Beautiful. You smoke whatever you want.

You know, this just keeps me together. No, you got to do it. Mom, I'm going to go on a ventilator while you do that.

I'm I'm just going to sit here. I'm just going to sit here on an event. But you haven't been tested yet. Is Jamie going to get the test or is he going?

Plus, he is going to push out. Everybody gets the test. Everybody gets a test ban and you go get the test. It really has to the great. Yeah, I'm excited. We know the results right away.

15 minutes and then delay is coming by tomorrow. I'm going to give Delia the test. I'm excited to fucking show and listen, let keep them 13 feet away because I read something online, if anybody.

Yeah. Listen, I report you decide when if you at covid right now with this test detect it.

If you had. Yes. Because you have the antibodies.

But if I had it now and I was asymptomatic, it's going to say, hey, your body's fighting off the covid fuck. Liow Interesting.

So this is the big one. Yeah. OK, test the blood. Yeah. Test the blood. And then also the is it a quick one or do they go in real quick. OK, pinprick.

OK, they can do the fucking swab of your brain cavity too.

That's a little bit like, that's a little money. Some people go for both tests.

You really, really, really, really want to know.

But I don't think you need you got to do the blood first because then you don't need the brand, you know.

You know what? This is made me concentrate on more things that I enjoy. That's true. I've given up my Carnivore diet, even though I really do enjoy the Carnivore diet because I want pasta. Yeah. Every now and then you got to do something. I've been doing things.

I've been playing a lot of a lot more pool. This is nonsense.

Do you want to go back on the road like you are? No one does, right? Nobody wants to be back on a plane every week anymore. Right. I love comedy.

I want to go on the road. But like, we were all on the road. I was on a plane every Thursday.

Well, you kind of have to do it when you're building markets. Yeah, well, I'm going to have to do it.

But I've been thinking about doing a residency in L.A. I was thinking about.

Yeah, literally having shows every weekend in L.A. and then occasionally going on the road like like getting a small theater. And I remember who used to do that.

Was it Eddie Izzard? It might have been Eddie Izzard. Who did. He did a residency in L.A. right off of La Cienega, where he was performing almost every weekend.

It's a good idea. Not a bad idea. If you have like a 500 seat, open up again and people can start flying and normalize to a degree. Was it Eddie? Yeah, people can people.

Yeah, people can come out again and at the Trepanier House. So he had a mini residency back in 2012. That's what it was.

Because, I mean, the amount of traveling that I was doing now I think to myself, I'm like, you just put yourself in a lot of risk out there. You wear your immune system down.

But it's also it's a drag. But yeah, but there's people that it like there in Milwaukee or Cleveland or whatever they can see they can afford to come to L.A. and get a fucking hotel room and all that shit. Yes. You're going to want to come to them every now and then. You have to.

Yeah, but I feel like all that 20 weeks a year, that's that's a lot I was on.

I think I had thirty seven booked this year and then a lot of them went away already and probably more than well the one seven weeks. I mean it's crazy. The worst I had was when I was doing the UFC. Twenty two weekends a year is.

Yeah that was crazy. That's a lot. That was like every other weekend I was flying and then stand up to. Yeah, but I wasn't doing as much standup because those are the days also when I wasn't at the store when I was banned from the store.

OK, and it was also the days where I just had a dumb idea that I could just do theaters on Friday night and do it like every weekend would be fine. Really wasn't. No. Well you got to work it out. Yeah.

Wasn't enough. Yeah. Standup just it's like if you ran every weekend you in shape. Right. You know you're in kind of shape partially.

You can run every weekend but you're not ready to rock. You're not ready to go. Yeah. You're not ready to go. That's how standup is too. It's like you can feel comfortable enough. People are coming to see you. You can go on stage and perform. But stand up is like there's no real shortcuts. No to do it right. You got to do it.

First of all, I believe a bunch of things and they're not true with everybody. But I think you have to go to the clubs. Yeah. And I think you have to go on stage at least four days a week. And I think you have to. Right. And I think you have to listen to your material now. You can get away with not doing one or two of those things. Yeah, but those teams, they seem to be the core tenants for doing your best.

One hundred percent, I, I figured out, like I, I build stuff on a podcast sometimes, like I will talk about Jimmy.

I'll talk for an hour, a week on a podcast, that's a great way to kind of build something. Yeah, that's that's a great Stanhill told me.

And I listen to my podcast back and then pick out chunks of it, that I'm like, oh, that could be funny. Well, your podcast to one of the things that I like. Yeah. It's almost like you work yourself into a trance. Yes. Well, you just a ranting trance. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It seems like you have to build up momentum. I do. I do. I don't talk to anyone for the whole day.

It's true. I'll talk to anyone for the whole day.

And then when my producer comes over with the studios in the apartment and then we just I just kind of go, well, I have all this pent up and I just go and that's like, you know, that's worked really well because it can be really funny. Yeah, that's what it's really funny because it's just like out there raw. Sometimes the funniest stuff is just I haven't ever said it before. And you don't have guests. I don't guess I don't.

You're doing it like BRX. Yeah, just real interesting. Yeah. Trust me, I think that's really strong for developing material.

It's yeah. And it's fun. You know, people come to me and go, that's fun. Like it's not a it's people go, there's enough of it, it's really funny. And then sometimes it's ludicrous. I'm being ridiculous. But they give you that room. Yes. Yeah they have. That really does that too. Yes. And Theo does a lot to just ranting. Yeah.

There's some really powerful interviewer I know.

Yes. You're not I'm not horrible. No, you just don't do it. I just don't do it enough.

There's I fucking sucked at it for years. Go back and listen to the early podcast. It's not good at it.

You don't know when you're being annoying. I'll interview somebody and I'll ask them a question and I'll answer it. Yeah. And I'll go, you know what.

And that's, but that's because you have a thought and you want to run with it. Right.

It's just it's different things. Right. And like the ones I do with Joey are different than the ones I do with Dunkin, which are different than the ones I do with Daliah or with you. It's like you have a dance, you're dealing with everybody. And sometimes it's hard to figure out what what steps you're taking. Yeah. You know, yeah, it's tricky. I got some good ones.

We've had some we have some good interviews in the archive. But like a lot of times I got to be very interesting. Yeah. Because you find like sometimes I've had I've had an agent on. I was very interested. Right. When when somebody comes on and I'm not super interested in it, I can't it's very hard for me to stick to it. Right. Which is a great thing about your shows.

When you bring people on, you give a fuck about what they're saying. That seems to be the key. Yeah, like that's the key. Like if anybody ever said like, how did your podcast get successful?

I think two things. One, I only talk to people that I want to talk to so no one's pushing anyone on me and people have pushed people on me. And it's not worked out well.

The times that I've done it for favors, it's not good. Yeah, there's been some bad ones, though, that were just I wasn't interested in what they had to say. And I did it because someone was like really trying to get me to have someone on. I got to do I have to talk to the people that I want to talk to. It has to be my idea because I've got to really be engaged. I've got to sometimes people brought me ideas for guests and it was good ideas and I was really engaged.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not open to suggestions that it seems to be. I have to genuinely want to do it. Then it seems that while it's happening, I have to really be engaged in the conversation, like I have to just be.

Or if it's not organic, man, people get it.

They know when you're using them. Yeah. You know.

Well, people know that. Yeah. And most people in their life, which is kind of we've created lives where we can kind of be. Yeah. Authentic like we can like most people have to file into certain whether it's an office or wherever, and they have to just tolerate bullshit. Yes. And they have to talk to people they don't like. And you've created a life where if you're not interested in what somebody has to say, you don't have to speak to them.

Well, it's also it doesn't mean that you're not going to get things wrong. And this is what people have to understand. Like everyone's going to get things wrong if you talk as much as I do.

But I think I'm real honest about when I get it wrong.

So you have to be able to say, like, oh, I shouldn't have said it that way. Yeah, I should have done that. But it doesn't mean that you're not going to get it wrong. It's just you're going to get better at being you.

Right.

Like you're you're really good at being you. These rants that. Yeah. Yeah. Burs really good at being himself. Those Rande amazing.

He's he's probably the best at just. No pauses. Yeah. No Holgersson no holds barred. Just runs right through subjects was great. Preparation's great. Yeah. He's developed and Stan helps. Really good at it too.

Like Stan Hope his podcast. Yeah. Kind of developed. Yeah. Because he doesn't have open mic nights right.

Yeah. I use it because in L.A., you know there's just is less stage time than you would have some other places even though there's enough you could do enough.

And I was doing a lot in the road but like it's more fun for me to just go off.

You're getting stage time in L.A. than you were in New York. New York.

You can get a crazy amount. Really? Well, there's so many clubs. You can run from club to club to club to club. I mean, guys like Mark Norman could do like 13 spots in and that I mean, that's inhuman. But that's why he's you know, he's so good. It's like you have to do so much.

I like the amount of time I get here because the podcast is a great way to build longer form bits than just running where I have to get a laugh in front of an audience.

You could do both, right?

Of course. So you could do the podcast in New York and then just do 20 spots a night. Yes. Do you think that would be the way to go? Is that the best way? No, no.

I think it depends what you what your act is, right. If your act is quick, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. A repetition is probably better, but sometimes it's better to to to to let an idea ruminate on a podcast and then to do maybe longer sets less frequently. People might want to build that way. It's so individual man.

There's no like one way to do it. I completely agree. And I think that there's like a there's almost like a formula where getting on stage is 100, right? Yeah.

In terms of like the amount of value you get for your effort on getting on stage is 100 and writing is maybe 30 or 40. Yeah, but if you do it enough it accumulates money in the bank, you know, in terms of like numbers in the bank. Got to do it to get. And I think that listening to a set is worth like 40 or 50.

So writing's worth like 30 or 40. Listen to sets worth like 40 or 50. And getting on stage is worth a hundred. Yeah.

Ralphy made did a great talk at I think I forget where it was, maybe the Comedy Store, maybe the Improv, I don't know.

But he did a talk on standup where he said he used to play a game with himself where like, you give himself points if he did a new tag, you know, and then he said something interesting.

He goes he goes, when's the last time you've gotten on stage with five minutes, this new material? Nothing else. He goes because the first time you got on stage, you had five new minutes. Yeah. So it's the first time you got on stage of the ball to get up with five minutes and you go. So when's the last time you've gotten up with just five minutes off the top of the. And it makes you think it's like that's you know, that's a ballsy move to go out with just a new five and go, I'm just doing this.

Yeah. And it's always bad in the beginning. Yeah.

Do you think we're all going to be starting over again when we get I mean, not starting over, but when we get back on stage? It's going to be it's going to be so long as a lot of us have gone.

Oh yeah. Yeah.

I think I went through when I when I was like in my twenties and I had ACL surgery for the first time that was like 90 fuck early 90s.

I had never been off stage for like two weeks before. Right. So two weeks later, after a knee reconstruction, I was going on stage with crutches and I was like, fuck it, I'm going up now.

I was like, I'm going up. So I'd go on stage and hobble with a knee brace on. Yeah, two weeks after surgery said, yeah, I'm I have to do I can't not be upset.

But then I went, I forget why, but I went even more than that one time in like the early 2000s.

I think I went a whole month, a month plus I'm trying to remember like what's the longest time it's ever been, I think with me a few weeks for a lot of us, a few weeks.

Some people do get get do like maybe a TV thing or movie and it's like a month. But if this is going to be the longest stretch, I think I've gone more than a month.

Yeah. But I'm not sure how long whether it was two months.

If you had to bet. What when do you think our feet touch a stage again? Late May.

And I think yeah, I think there's going to be some weird shit where you're going to have like one table and then they'll be like three empty tables and then another table, like a line of people.

They'll be like dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Do you think everyone's going to be in a mask? Yeah, a lot of people are going to be wearing masks.

That's going to be creepy as fuck. So weird.

And then they're going to be going out. That masks. No.

Dude, I don't know, man, this is a postapocalyptic standup guy, but what if there's a flu that's 50 percent as deadly as let's worry about?

The one we have now is bad enough. I know, but but it's not a bad thing is like the good news that people that have died of the flu this year are way higher.

For now. For now. For now. For now. For now. But it's going to go. But my point is, like, if we are upset that the amount of people that have died from covid-19, this is the last person dies and it won't be shortly. But if this is the last person dies, what would be how close with the flu have to get to that for us to take commensurate measures.

Like if we felt like if the flu like I don't know what the number is and I don't think they know entirely how many people get infected versus how many people die, because I don't think they really know how many people get infected. And if covid they were saying that as much as 70 percent of the people that get it are asymptomatic. So how many people really get it? So if that means maybe there's a lot more people that got it and then they're just not showing symptoms, or is it?

We don't have accurate data. I think it's probably we don't have accurate data. Right. I think I think a lot of people definitely get it and don't have any symptoms because there seems to be a lot of evidence of that. But I don't think they know how many people got it. We might have a very small number of people that have got it. And out of those people, the vast majority show no symptoms, but it might be like one percent of the population has been infected.

We don't know.

The problem of keeping everyone on a lockdown is that nobody is developing immunity. That's part of it. That's part of the issue.

Right. So you're slowing the spread of this, but it's too dangerous to give people that option. Of course.

Of course. But eventually you can have to start opening economy. People carefully going out with masks and things like that, I think for sure.

But I think here's something that they've told us that's safe. I order that they say, how could it be just things on surfaces? That's what I mean by sneezes on your eggroll.

But but here's the deal on that Diamond Princess cruise ship. Only 17 percent of people got it. Those people are living together very close quarters like a petri dish.

Yup. And they're they're all breathing recirculated air. But only 70 percent of people got easy. So it's not possible because I don't think it's just transmissible as we think. Imagine how not to get stuck on one of those cruise ships that cough found that it's horrible.

It's horrible without a pandemic. Yeah, but I don't think.

But imagine right now. Yes, I'm high, so let me. Yeah. If I'm in a boat right now. Right.

So I'm I'm in this metal thing, which is in the middle of the dark ocean. Yeah. Especially at nighttime. Yeah. Right. So you're in this thing floating around literally in the center of the goddamn.

Who should get some strange reason you've agreed to be on this, this metal thing. A floating float. Yeah. Which doesn't make any sense. It's a scrap metal floating makes zero sense. A giant metal thing floating. And you're there with those fucking people. You're there with the worst people in the world. And if you fall off the side, you're dead. Some people try to kill them.

You know, it's really this is true. Some guy tried to kill himself on the boat. This is how sad this was. They saw him and they caught him. They caught him and they they put him back on the boat. Oh, much so.

Like literally at the buffet the next day. Everybody's like, that's the guy that tried to kill him. So, like, how oh, how horrible is that? You're back. You're back.

You imagine being at a breakfast buffet after that, you know. Sorry, guys, I was having a rough night. One guy killed his wife on a cruise because I went on the Impractical Jokers cruise. I went on one cruise and it was just a performer. I mean, a bunch of other comics, one. And and we were talking to some of the cruise people and they said one guy pushed his wife off the side. Yeah. And then he just he didn't care.

He went to, like, 80s night. He was dancing my wife right off the side. Jesus Christ cruise. People are sick. They're sick people. Some people are sick, like some people could do that.

Now, here's the thing. We're thinking about it like it's the ocean. I want you to think about it like it's space.

OK, imagine if if there was this ship that was going through space, but space was just like it was almost like there was air around you where you could kick someone off the side and they would just fall to forever. Right. Right.

That's you doing the same thing. Yeah. You just you're would you be terrified. Oh, my God. Yeah. And if you heard someone call, would you've heard someone cough.

Oh my God. What would you do.

What would you do if you want a spaceship, then you heard someone coughing and it would take two weeks before you get back to the planet. I think you got a little in your little cube like you got to stay in your little room. Everyone on the Grand Princess was sequestered in their room.

Honestly, how is that different, you being on the spaceship in the middle of the sky and you hear someone, you're not that different. You got to get out of here. There's a sick person in a spaceship. It's not that different. How much different is it? It's not that different. I say this.

I would say less big trash. People could afford to go to space for now. For now, back in the fucking Titanic days, it was a crazy thing to be able to get in a. Vote and make your way across the country. Now you're a peasant that's that's used to travel these cruises, which is disgusting.

Oh, but but the people my point is, it's not like the uber wealthy people that are getting on these cruise.

You know, it's animals, savage animals. They're they're fat pig. I could have been a personal trainer on the bus.

I mean, people are looking at me like, how do you do it, you know? No, it's not a party. They're going to go a good task.

You know, it's a funny thing. On that boat, there was a little library and I walked out on like, has anyone checked out a book? And the guy goes, No, I'm like, has anyone ever checked out? Like, who's checking out a book library in the cruise ship? It's not even good books. It's trashy romance novels.

But none of these people can read.

I mean, what is the drug policy on those cruise ships? Can you bring weed on board? You can bring whatever you want. I mean, it depends, right? Depends if you dock at it like.

Yeah, but in international waters, what are the deals we don't share?

I don't know if they search your bags. I mean, people were bringing food on board. That was disturbing.

That's another thing, right? Like you're not in America. No.

You're in international waters and then you dock like outside of this fake little town in Mexico where they literally bought the beachfront. And it's a third world country and they drive you past roosters and shoeless guys running around.

What are you showing me? A dog stand up pursuit when he was. Oh, that's right.

He got on the cruise and he stood he came out. He went to his body. Right.

All over like drugs. Yeah. So what does he got bladders of, like gin bladders, bladders and bottles. So he bought, like, those hiking bladders that you put in your backpack we drink water out of.

And he filled them with booze, but he's on a cruise ship where they have all this booze. Yeah, but he wants to real deal stuff.

You know, they're going to water it down. They do. They don't give you shots.

I think they do some. That's even more outrageous. I think they're going to use it up. If I'm on a boat, I'm getting drunk. Well, I'm sure there's different kinds of cruises.

But the ones we're talking about, like Carnival, like, you know, like the ones on those, you wouldn't you want to be hammered? Well, that's what do that's why people like, oh, why are people leaving your houses? There are people that are like, if I can't go on a cruise and get fucked up, I don't want to live. Why? There are those people right out there, like, if I can't go to Applebee's, I want to live here.

There's people that are not having a great time in America.

How many people are like we can cruise people like every weekend they go on a cruise. So I was on the Amtrak. I was an old lady. And she goes, you know, don't take carnival. It's very bad. We've taken it twice. It was horrible times. Oh, good. Yeah.

They just they just they're cruise people. I mean, just the lowest caliber of human being to have ever drawn a breath.

This is how much is how much is it cost.

Like if you want fifty dollars a day it's like no money. It's still it's OK. Let's, let's say if you just got out of prison it would say if you're going to leave Mexico and where would you go, where would you go like South America.

So if you leave, you just go out in the ocean and then you just come back to some fake town like we went to Costa might look up close to my Mexican coast of mine. Mexico is a place to own. The cruise ships just own this little beachfront. OK, so it's like a trip.

Like you float around the water and you come back and you come back and then they just have these little stands on the beach cruises to Mexico from one hundred nine dollars a person.

What did you think it was? How many days? Like seven days, no.

Yeah. Is that real? Of course. My God. Look at the big warning, though. The covid warning. Blow that up. Yeah. What does it say to you? They're like you'll die if you do this. People don't care.

Oh, please be aware of any coronavirus covid-19 travel advisories and view updates from the World Health Organization. Due to unprecedented volume of travel disruptions, refunds may take up to thirty days to process, which by that point you'll be dead like thirty days.

Allow to take cruises right now.

Yeah, they're just like lie about your symptoms. Like just this is the next one they have available.

It seems like August 30th is the first one they have available. So they're banking on August 30th to get ready full.

People are going on that boat bro to August thirty is going to be a party. They don't give a shit. They're going to get on in hospital gowns right from the E.R. They don't care what they're going to do.

They're going to do all the people that have survived. Yes. Survive or party there. We beat it. They also would have the antibiotics because they're all going to have the bracelets. They'll be in hospital gowns on the beach.

But, you know, there's going to be one dude who lies about it. Everybody's going to come back because there's a girl.

It could be fake. She's hot. She wants to fuck her. So we told Young she's not hot, but she's she's hot enough. She's hot enough for him to cause genocide. He's going to come back to this virus. He's going to kill us all. He's going to destroy us because he wanted to fuck this chick.

He's going to lie about having it and she's going to a new advanced form that it doesn't do anything to people that have already had it right. But as soon as he gets into a new person, it kills them. It makes so much sense that the virus, it'll get rid of us as a planet come from a cruise.

The most disgusting, unnecessary. I mean, do this has to do with why? So it'd be like tropical have nothing to do with the war.

It's nothing to do with the water. You don't nobody swims like nobody get to the island. It swims kind of a dump. People just go on and buy shitty jewelry. They buy fake joy.

There's a TV in your room on a cruise. And when you turn it on, it's just commercials for shit you can buy when you dock at the island. Oh, my God. It'll be a guy who's like, I've been in the cruise and jewelry industry for twenty years. It's like that's not an industry to the cruises. One hundred dollars.

Yeah, it's one hundred dollars. And they buy garbage jewels because it's strange. Jimmy, that was the three to five days, three to five days.

Five days for a hundred bucks. You can't fool them all you hundred bucks. Five days just for all you can eat. All you can eat. Yes. It's probably all you can drink. Everything's coming up for all that gets you on a day.

Craziest thing we've ever read on the show. That's why people like all cruises going out of business. I'm like, I'll tell you, they're not they're not dollars. That's a vacation for somebody who's fucked.

So but wait a minute. It's not all booze included. No. You've got to pay for.

That's where they make their money. That's why they make money. That's why they sneak it on.

That's how they make their money. So the twenty five bucks a day is just to come on. We're friends.

Yeah. Four days. Five bucks. A hundred. That's just unlimited fried food to throw down your throat three to five days for one hundred, one hundred nine, imagine five days of food for one hundred nine dollars.

They probably encourage you to get off the wagon. Like, what are you doing? Drinking water. Yeah, well, I'm clean and sober for 15 years.

They don't tolerate that. What the fuck am I doing? This poor man. It's a carnival. Haven't you heard? Yeah. You don't need to see your kids get fucked up. Just get fucked up and we'll give you ibogaine.

Did you know that when a cruise boat there's a little cruise jail. Swear to God they have a cruise ship. They have a cruise jail. If you do something sometimes you got to go on the cruise jail until they can dock and have the authorities come get you. See, if you murder your wife, you do something like that. You go to the cruise, his wife overboard. They throw him in the cruise. You went to cruise jail.

Oh, look, there's water slide. Look at these people. Hi. This is what it made sense. When did they start these things? Do there's comics that perform on them?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, they live in hell.

Yeah. There's when there's something about it, it's just it's so strange. And when I was in Italy, three day cruises for three hundred twenty five bucks.

That was when it first started in eighty five. That was nineteen eighty five. That's what happened. Yeah. It's probably like air travel.

When I was in Venice they were, there were the people. There are locals there first of all, I mean I'm an intruder. We're all intruders. There's too many, too many tourists. It's like but they relied on it too. So it's real strange they got their economy. But it's also it used to be more quaint.

And then what happened is whenever a cruise ship would pull up, you would get, what, two or three thousand people would come pouring out at once.

And so when we were there, two cruise ships docked and it was crazy, crazy.

And it's a beautiful city. And then you have this grotesque cruise ship with like paintings of dolphins on the side. It's a white trash like America just.

And then they fill these river boats and they would get into the canal area and they were filled with people. Yeah. And they would drive around staring and pointing at things like, wow, this is nuts.

Well, now that they're not around, you have like things are coming back into the Venice canals like dolphins. I know. But I know all these idiots are like, oh, it's not nice. It's like it's nice. But the world economy collapsed, so not a good trade off. There's the people got addicted to people coming in, the tourists.

Yeah, but if they only had like a limited number, it should be like a house party. Like after 100 people, you can't cut it off.

Yeah. You could cut it off. You can't have cruise ships. Yeah. Because they kept hitting the docks to the docks like once. But you're going to need them. They're coming back hard. Cruises are coming back so big after this.

I'm telling you, they so people are going to feel in the country and people all over the world, people are wild and people are going to want to go. There are people that love cruises. They think they've discovered a gold mine. They'll be like one hundred nine people will tell you I took a cruise for one hundred and sixty dollars. It's so embarrassing that they would say. But they say that you're like you're an animal. Well, if you're a non-drinker, though mustardy, I think it's so fun.

There's a certain group of people in the world who've accepted their animals. Right.

And then it's just fun how many people are on cruises that are on a cruise every day because it's cheaper than being homeless.

If you Greenpoint if you go to a cruise every day, if you're on a cruise every day, you're really only spending like a buck fifty a week.

That's Carnival spending. One hundred and fifty bucks a week.

You get a room and you get all the food you can eat. That is a crazy deal.

You imagine it's a cure for homelessness. Carnival Cruise there. Yeah.

Have booze 24 hours a day or do they know. So it's like Vegas, of course. Do what you want. Imagine that the freedom of being on this boat, this metal thing floating around the ocean. Yeah, that's where you live. Where do you live? I live on Carnival Cruise Line. There are people that do that show that literally live on a boat all year round. Why not you? You should be on a cruise line because you're a person.

That's the why not just because you're a person, but if you're not, there are people at the level of big on those boats. Those are big boys and girls like Disneyland for five hunches. Yeah.

When you meet people on scooters, Scooter and they were going on the boat, they were going up the ramp on the boat. There's some fucked up about being on a vehicle that somebody on another vehicle, the world's longest cruise set sail from London. Oh yeah.

In September on a two hundred and forty five day cruise. Do you think that they're still out there? They know they're still out there. I'd be safe if they're all dead.

Oh my God. It's a Viking ship. The ship is just coughing at this size of it. Go back.

Is that a video video. Go go back to the size of it. When they pull up, what would they have? Viking Carnival. Is this a Viking? You look big, but it looks like the name Viking is perfect for something like that.

Oasis of the Seas is the Vikings that was filled with Vikings and it came pouring into your ship like, oh fuck, yeah. But this is not Vikings eating herring. And, you know, this is people who are just there are more Vikings, son. That's what it is. There are more chefs on that boat than doctors in the places they're going. Like they're pulling up to an island with like two doctors and they've got sixty five people cooking.

So is this thing still out there?

So, I mean, I just was Googling like, how long was the longest trip? A lot of them, they're not letting them, not letting them dock. This was ninety two thousand dollars per person. This is a lot. That's a big night. Ninety two thousand nine hundred ninety dollars per person, which includes business class airfare, meals and a free excursion in each port of call. So these people just decided to live on this thing for a year, for almost a year and see the world.

How many days, Jamie?

Two hundred and forty five ships free of kids in casinos.

Interesting. Wow. That's just the higher end ones, even though they're gross. Yeah.

No, no kid or casinos. I would have said, you know, a lot of cruises, a lot of it's gambling, it's a lot of people that want to gamble. But this is a fairly small thing, right. It's like 900 people.

It's interesting to have a world class luxury like TED talks going on there. Oh, maybe. Maybe they knew something was coming. Let me tell you what. Bill Gates is on the boat talking. Don't worry. We're getting nobody needs HPV pills, catchy country folk.

There were no TED talks on the boat I was on.

But imagine that's a great idea.

Like if you were an older person, like a couple and you're like, you know, your kids leave the house here, let's hang out together, let's do a year on a boat to you.

But did screaming all the drunk around the third or fourth week you go, what the fuck are we? What the fuck are we? What are we doing? What are we doing?

There's something weird looking out just in water. Yes. There's some weird forever and going, is there a doctor on this?

And if something happens, what kind of doctor what kind of doctor works on Carnival Cruise?

What kind of you know what I mean. This is not the best. It's not the best doctor allegedly.

Yeah, he might be amazing.

Might be a guy that's his he's imagine being sick and being in the Carnival Cruise doctor's office. You'd be like, just throw me overboard. Probably experiment on people.

Oh, God. That's what Gates is using the vaccine. He's put them in fat people on Carnival Cruise Line. They can't find a vein. They can experiment with people in exchange for a free fair. Yeah, I mean, it was one of the weirdest things I've ever done. I did it three nights. I perform. Those are great Casadevall is a great dude. He invited us all. He also does stand up. He's one of the jokers we but I mean, it's a wild party over there.

And after three days you're like, get me off. Oh, get me back. And we we left out in New Orleans, which is cool.

Did you do it with Chrysler and. Yes, Ari. Yes. Yes. How fucked up this Birkitt on a boat.

You know, I'm trying to remember I don't remember being more fucked up or less fucked up than usual.

I think he was just I don't know what she was. She was drinking. I think it was right after sober October. Yes. Right after I saw Rocktober. He was having fun. Yeah, he was enjoying himself. But he's never like to me it was hard in the paint. Yeah. I mean, he always handles himself well though. What's amazing about a bird is how good a shape he's in.

Oh yeah. The amount of booze and he does run. He runs a lot. Yeah. But I was telling him I like to. Your body is so robust he's got he's tough. Yeah. Like if you didn't drink at all you would probably be a savage. Yeah. Well he was very young. Well he was in shape for sure, but I'm saying like the kind of like work he's making his body go through every yeah. Every day he's making his liver process.

I know all that hooch at the top.

You also said earlier that he shouldn't speak publicly if not drunk. No, he should drink. Drink every time he says something is better that way.

I guess it's out there somewhere.

That ship, eight Canadians allowed to disembark from Viking Sun cruise ship in Gibraltar for repatriation. What the hell happened to the rest of them for repatriation was that we imagine you going to live in Gibraltar, Cheesus. Well, what is it? Yeah, I don't know. But I mean, it sounds hilarious.

Just sounds like something from a Game of Thrones book.

Yeah, repatriation. This this has been announced by the government, which says that this follows a request from the Canadian High Commissioner in London for Gibraltar's health help in repatriating the seven passengers and one crewman.

Yeah, I don't even know what the fuck. Number six says the disembarkation took place in the bay, not alongside the cruise terminal.

So they went to a smaller boat in the bay and then were probably brought to the yeah.

It says this is no cases of covid-19 on board. The Viking Sun, which had submitted a clear maritime declaration, is therefore cleared to enter the port.

That would be what would happen. Yeah, there would be a virus that runs through us like fire through bushes. Yeah. And they would repopulate the earth. These TED talk people on this fucking cruise. Oh. Got two hundred and forty five days. That might be what it is. Well that's how you usher in the movie Idiocracy. If the only people that survived are the cruise pigs. But these are the season. He's the TED talk cruise pigs there are different.

OK, you're right about that. And they're also spending ninety three thousand dollars to do this thing. But they're probably older.

They're probably older. There's probably only a few young people. There was no eggs. Yeah, there's no eggs on that boat egg suit.

It's the crew. It's got to be the crew. The crew fucks their way and those are. We are to the crew, the crews, people that work at the fucking work crews is are we are to man. Yeah, very strange.

Yeah, like it's odd. Yeah. They have to be those. Your guys have partied and they're just like, what if this was every night forever? And I ran into a comic at the port.

I was I was with the missus on vacation. Yeah. And I ran into a comic at a port in Mexico and he had just gotten off this boat and the dude looked like someone stole some of his essence, like something.

They looked like someone had taken like 10 to 15 percent of his. What makes him a person?

And he was working on it. Well, it wasn't like running into someone at Clarities in Cleveland, like, let's have some fun shows. That's great. Yeah, that fucking shows are awesome. This was not that there was not that happy feeling.

It was like, oh, it's like wrath of fucking is realizing like this is what I'm doing for a living. Now this is a tough one. Yeah. I'm on a boat.

I'm entertaining the worst people in the world in the middle of the ocean. Yeah. Do you know. Loves those things though. Again, shout out to Alonzo Bodden. Alonzo Bodden goes on Jazz Cruise.

Well, those may be different. That might be different.

People that like jazz, that's a little different than just people that I want to spend thirty five dollars to go on a vacation with my family because I can eat on a on a floating thing.

Yeah, that's I mean they don't even go and like do anything cool. Yeah.

You'd have to have a cruise and the cruise would have to be populated by, it would have to be like people that are into shit you're into.

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

And there's a lot of those like there's, there's, there's all kinds of cruise. I mean there's like, I mean there's like sick cruises. There was like there's, there's a walking dead cruise where people dress up like zombies. I mean. Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that's crazy.

What if we did a working comedian Cruise or Jerry Cruise will only. Yeah. Only people that are actual comedians and their significant others.

Interesting. Interesting. We hate each other but five days and it's floaty thing in the middle of the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. Someone would yell at Bert. We'd have to like to have a sit down. Yeah.

Don't be really mad about what time you get left. Somerfield We're going to get left at the first port.

Oh yeah. Bobby Lee's never making it. No. Yeah. A lot of people would not. There's barely going to make it on. Yeah it would be, it would be bad. Comics are all irresponsible. Very much the funny ones in particular.

Oh yes. Super irresponsible. Yeah.

Most of them are. Yeah. Most of them are a mess. Yeah. Yeah. They wouldn't, they wouldn't make it on board.

But imagine if the only people that survived are the people on the cruise and that would be a and that's a that's a Stephen King type of novel.

It's just the people aboard this cruise ship now have to today. But think of how cool that is to be on a cruise ship and sail back to an America where everybody's dead. Well, that would be crazy.

Left London. Right. That's where it leaves. It left London two hundred forty five days.

Last week, it said they had arrived in Bali. I was trying to track to mission about it.

Imagine you're in the middle of this thing that you've been planning for a whole year. I can't believe we're going to do it. Oh, my God. We're really going to do it right. There are two hundred forty five days. Why not? The kids are out of the house. I love being around.

Right. Yeah, time to go. Yeah, it's going to be fun.

And you're in the middle of the ocean. Find the world's on fire. How about those guys on that show, Big Brother, who were being kept in isolation as a reality show in Germany? They had no idea and somebody had to stop them to go. Hey, by the way, just to let you guys know there's a worldwide pandemic ravaging the plague, like that's a crazy my friend Adam Greentree, the dude who shot that water buffalo that's above the head up there.

Yeah, it's my bow hunting friend from Australia. He was actually in the bush when the shit hit the fan and he got back to his car and someone had written in the dirt on the window call home ASAP.

Something like that sees it down his Instagram. Yeah, he actually took a photo of it and put it on his Instagram. So he had no to take that thing right after 9/11, those dots in a car window. Somebody like this is war. Get home ASAP. Wow. So that's scary as fuck.

But he he goes off the grid, he's a bow hunter and he goes to these really remote locations and he just brings a backpack and like a small tent with him and water purification and arrows. And he fucking goes, he goes and he'll go for like six, seven days like that. And so that's one of the things he was completely, you know, so he he left before there was even talk of this. So he's got that that's his back.

And that's that little backpack said is this is a very satisfying feeling in having everything you need on your back first day into some spectacular New Zealand country. Is the story uploaded daily?

So he was just going up there and and by himself with no one with him? No, no contact with the outside world. But I guess he was still updating his Instagram.

Who's taken that photo he gets when he gets back home usually, but this time he might have been there updating it daily? Yeah, I don't know.

But either way, so he comes back and he finds that note on his car. A lot of what he does, he does.

And he documents for social media because one time back in the day, it was like two years ago he was doing this 28 day hunt by himself in Idaho and in Wyoming, including like encounters that he would stream with a fucking grizzly bear.

So he had a grizzly bear that was chasing after him. He had a faulty pistol on him. He didn't even know the pistol didn't work at the wrong side of ammo in it. Yeah. And he documented all of it. And we started talking about on the podcast. So he he developed this like really engaged social media following that really gets excited cause when he goes on these trips actually explodes. So this is it. That's him with a gun and see if you could see the gun.

The bullet is not in the chamber.

It's jammed. That's why it's open like that. The bullet wouldn't even fired. And that's a grizzly bear in the background.

Yeah. And she's got a cub with her and she's thinking about fucking him up. And she bluffed charges him a couple of times and he tries to get away from her. He tries to walk away and she followed him. Really creepy shit.

What do you do in that instance? What he did, he stood his ground and she came charging at him. He said she got within several feet of him a couple of times before she turned away.

So what makes it what do you think a bear decides like at that point? So I fucking never know, man. It's either going to decide it's going to kill you or it's going to it's going to try to decide to kill you. It's over. It's over. It's over.

There's nothing you can do. Yeah, no. Especially if you have a gun that doesn't work. Well, that's the thing. You need to have a gun. Yeah.

They would tear you apart like you would tear apart a little baby chick. Like a little little baby chicken. Yeah, that's how I know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're so big and they kill moose. Yeah they kill demon monsters elk with their face.

Just grab a hold of them, rip them apart. They're so strong man. It's like you all because you're cute looking.

They look like cuddly but they are, they're not.

They're like a nine hundred pound rottweiler.

Do you ever watch those things. Were guys like hug them and live with them and assholes. Yeah it's weird. Households are strange. You crazy fuzzy like Whitney Cummings was explaining to me how all these tigers are tortured. I didn't really know. I didn't know about all that. I didn't know that they were drugged and stuff. Well, I was in the Tigers kind of like being a I don't think that's the one's on Tiger King.

Yeah, this is the kind of shrugged those. I don't think they were drugged. Well, drugged. They moved them. Yeah.

Yeah. But they some of them look, they just looked in there in these confined spaces. It looks it's hell. Yeah. It's not right. It's not right. They're wild animals. Well it's not just that, it's also their cats. And if there's anything that cats like more than anything, it's to kill. They love killing shit. Right. I don't think I'm not saying that it's great that they killed things. I'm not like glorifying or even joking around about this.

I'm just saying think about what a cat is. Just think about a house cat house.

Cats are some of the most vicious fucking monsters. They're horrible. The walk to face the pain hard they want to do is kill. They're not even a little hungry.

They try to kill you. They swipe at your face. They're trying to kill you. Yeah.

They just know that outguns. So they let it go. Right. But they're so small and they kill so much. Housecats kill billions of birds and mammals every year. Billions of them. Right. Just they go outside and fuck these things out. Yeah, of course. I'm back inside and now imagine being something like that. But you're 700 pounds. Yeah. And all you want to do is chase things and kill.

And you never get to chase things. You never get to kill. You just put it in a cage. Yeah. Every now and then they give you a piece.

You know, my flex expired meat from Walmart was what that guy was feeding them, bro.

And he's you know, they're tearing this stuff apart and eating it, but they never get to kill anything. Yeah, they want to kill things. That's nature. You're robbing something of this nature.

It's like telling us we can't do stand up telling somebody you can't do the thing you enjoy.

Exactly what you're built to do. Don't touch your penis. Yeah. Don't touch it. You're telling them not to do things that they want to do. And for a cat, it's like you're never giving them that. There's a reason why cats exist, right? They're big and they're 100 percent carnivorous. They're very, very, very fast. Why would nature create something like that? Why would nature allow something like that? Because there's too many of the other things.

How did the cat become domesticated? Like how did it become this version we have now just like kind of a fat, lazy ass animal.

Good question. And when when did it do that? Because it didn't in ancient Egypt, they worship cats, worship them. Yeah, they are very interesting.

But it's also, you know, they probably were amazed that cats would hang out with them. Know, I bet they were dealing with, like survey dolls and those freaky cats. And a lot of people keep it. Yeah. Cool cats. The ones that are never really your pet. Yeah. You know. Well, the cat, you never own a cat.

Well, you never owned a capacity. They'll never carry those predatory looking bangles in the service. Yeah, of course. You had a bobcat in your yard too. Just walking around, walking around. What do you do in that instance, you know.

Well, small my daughter took. A photo, I wasn't there. OK? It wasn't that small, I mean, it was about thirty five pounds.

She sent me the photo. I mean at least I mean. And what do you do? You get in shot like, holy shit, it was my older daughter.

So it wasn't. But the the. She's smart enough to know. Yeah.

But the, the thing about it is like they're always going to be around like we live in L.A.. Yeah. If you, if you live in L.A..

Right. If you're in the hills you think of the hills, they just that's the cat fucking thing. It's cool looking. Yeah. If there's anywhere that has coyotes and everywhere I go, everywhere, everywhere Burbank has coyotes.

Well they can have bobcats too and they probably do. Yeah. Yeah.

There's eagles, there's this mountain lion like Bhabhi Malibu, that area I'm sure dude there's I mean the thing about particularly like the whole Los Angeles area, you know, Pasadena has a problem with bears, bears going to a great video of this guy walking down an alleyway on his phone in Pasadena.

I saw that. Yeah, it's a fucking bear right in front of a black bear when he sees this flag is the bear.

Yeah, well, that's actually a grizzly bear interest.

California used grizzly bears in the last grizzly bear was killed in Levak or the last grizzly bear killed a person in Levak, California. And it was named after the guy who was the last guy killed by a grizzly bear.

And they actually dug him up years later and found his bones were destroyed, which was consistent with a grizzly bear is where is that?

Is that Northern California?

It's like, no, it's it's outside of Bakersfield.

Like on the if you five if you fed that Bobcat would have come back. Oh yeah.

Yeah, people do. Dummies dummies feed them. I know, I know. Dude, his his wife feeds coyotes. She eats crazy food out for the coyotes. Yes. But a bobcat like that's fun.

They're both crazy. Yeah. Please bears. This guy's pool in California. It's great. Go to the Pasadena.

They come down off the mountains. You know, Pasadena is pretty fucking close to the mountains. Yeah, so these are just regular bears, wild bears that live in fucking Pasadena.

And let's just go. What's that sheriff going to do? Chipwich Pasadena has everything, man.

They got rocks, they got mountain lions, they got bears.

And they have these, like, really nice swimming. It's great old houses. Have you ever been Pasadena? Beautiful. Yeah. The old.

Yeah. Old Pasadena is a maze is great. Yeah. What they say is this is that I don't know who they are but they say that the Hollywood Internet fame people, the famous people in the early days of Hollywood live there.

The actors lived in Hollywood Hills and the producers as in Pasadena. And so they have these beautiful estates.

They're gorgeous. Oh yeah. Well, gorgeous. Kind of like that. Been here exactly like beautiful Hancock Park. Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah.

But Pasadena is just it's got a feel to it. It's like, oh wow.

This is like some crazy rich neighborhood, just like stately feel of like an older cool neighborhood.

Exactly. A lot of people drive Mercedes Benz. Yeah. You know, they're conservative with their money. Oh yeah. Those are wealthy.

They pulled the lever for Reagan. Yes. Yeah. They're liberal at parties but not when they get in the booth. Yes. They just want to keep that money a lot like people like that.

There are a lot of those people work in the boardroom, but then when they get in that booth, they pull the lever. You got to keep that closet conservative big time.

There's one this one lady came up to my wife and wanted to talk to her about conservatism because she thought that I was conservative for some surgery.

And it was like, you know, we're one two. Yeah, we're one of those, too. That's funny. Like, no one wants to let anybody know, like they're vampires. Yeah. That's like half the country is conservative. Yeah.

And then I don't know why she assumed that I was. Well, you talk to anybody so you talk to people that you disagree with. You agree with. You have people on the show. It's also the way I look. I think that has. Yeah, that's part of it. You don't have black from glasses. You're not ninety five pounds. You're not afraid of saying hello to someone. But it's the whole thing of having two parties. It's crazy.

And I think it might be ending. I mean not like the chaos of the moment necessitates solutions that aren't political. Political solutions aren't going to work.

You kind of said and you said pinning blame on everything like that, that the incentivizing of politicizing everything is not going to work. We just need people that are intelligent. And I think all the systems are whether it's technology, whether it's health, it's not the solutions are not political. It's not electoral politics. It's not elected senator. It's not him idiot who convinced everybody in Texas to vote for him or people in Long Island, New York to vote for him.

It's finding that some of the people you've had on this show, people in that echelon and putting them in a room and going, how the fuck are we going to figure this out? It's not guys that convinced people in Virginia that they were they had their best interests at heart. I mean, it's just an old system and it needs to be modernized.

You might that's a really eloquent way of putting it. Yeah, you might have a good point there that hopefully people recognize this is not serving them to have these, like, rigid parties on one side and the other. And most people are way more nuanced and most people don't care.

They don't most people are not a Republican or Democrat when they're out to dinner. They want to have money. They want jobs. They want to you know, we just draw a line and say, you have to be this or that. But especially now with all these different problems, your solutions are not going to come from the the two parties.

It also solidifies what's really important. Like everyone says, well, you know, what's really important is family and love and.

Right. Yeah, guess what? That is really what's really important. It is like it's not that's not just rhetoric. Yeah. That's really important. And you realize that when the shit hits the fan, like if you're wealthy and trapped in a mansion by yourself, you don't have any friends. Yes. You imagine it's.

Yeah, I could I'd love to imagine being trapped myself in a mansion. Can we arrange that?

How many days a week do you think you could handle the seven. The chance if no one could visit you, nobody liked you.

I well no. I mean, listen, people are going to like you with a match. That's the benefit of having a match. People like you, they tend to like you.

You have to be a real dick to not have friends in a match, especially if you have parties, right? Yeah. You have to be a real asshole for people to go, oh, that guy with the match and fuck him.

Let's go somewhere else. I get what you mean. No family. I mean, listen, that stuff does, you know, listen, these are the things that are the you know, not everybody has those luxuries. Not everybody has that thing. You know, it's true. So there's a lot of people that devote their lives, you know, to other things or whatever.

And, you know, yeah, I feel bad for people that are working at places where they're exposed to this disease and get nothing for it. So that's what I said earlier. Like, if you work at a grocery store and it's like you're getting shit money and you're being exposed to this, it's like we should do as a country, we should do something for you. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's like, hey, man, you know, student loan, we're taking care of it.

Or like, hey, you want a good interest rate on a mortgage five years from now, we're doing. For you, like we've got to do something for those people, right, because of your job used to be stacking apples, now your job is you could die stacking up stacking apples somewhere because we're all depending on those supply chains and those things being open.

Yeah. So if you put meat in a package, if you're a barista, farms a store that I love, if you're doing whatever you spot, that's my spot.

I love it. It's just great. It's just it's for new money. It's for trash. It's not like Erwan, which is for healthy people. Bristol Farms is for millionaires at one Apple Jacks. It's like, you know, it's like for you know.

Yeah, tick tock people wrappers. I saw lady and everyone. She was dressed up like a hot beekeeper.

Yeah. That's what it's all about. Yeah. She was so protective goggles and the man at Bristol Farms is like absurd.

It's like people pull up in Bentleys and get s'mores pie. They have s'mores pie at Bristol Farm. It's like you got to be a little gutter trash, you know, but it's those people need some benefit.

So that's what I mean when I say to the government, it's not like it's not you can't pin it directly on Trump.

Everyone pins everything directly on Trump. I don't think he's doing phenomenally, especially in communicating. He's doing what he does. But I think the look at the system when you go what we just passed a two trillion dollar bailout. We're giving people twelve hundred dollars. That can't be the solution.

Anything he does that's really good gets minimized when he does something stupid. Yeah, well, it's hard for people to give him like that because he's no good guy about his ratings. Yeah. The ratings during that bachelor like. Yeah. If that's not trolling, if that's not trolling then I don't know if it is trying to think it's true, but it's, you can't do that with people are falling down dead.

It's crazy. You can't do anything good that he does.

Like closing off traffic to China early, you know, and deciding, hey, listen, this travel to China is not smart back and forth. We have to stop that.

And people are really upset at him. That gets diminished by a tweet like I think he wants people to like I think he wants the media and Hollywood to like him. I think that's what his supporters don't understand. I think he actually is a creation of Hollywood. All these people that are like Hollywood, Trump's taking on Hollywood. It's like he's a creation of Hollywood. This is a guy that loved the Clintons up until he ran against them.

Well, he was. What are we talking about? Hollywood television show. Yeah.

So it's just convenient if he became this crusader against the elites that he spent his entire life around.

Well, that was his point. Like his point was, yeah, I know what they actually do because I used to pay them a hundred percent.

I mean, that was the point that people bought into it. They're like, oh yeah, this guy is going to fight on our behalf. I've just never believed that about any politician because I'm an adult.

I think it's complicated.

Like everybody, you know, you almost.

But you look at a guy like him. Sure. You today just show that a guy like him can get through. Sure. You know, like to to understand the frailty of the system. Yes. Somebody exploited. Yeah. Yeah.

They hired those hackers to like, test your your. Yeah. If you can get through or they give a guy a gun at the airport and go can you get through. Yeah.

Right. But I mean hackers. It's a famous thing that companies will do the hire hackers to try to break into their software. Yeah. To find out, you know, what are what are our vulnerability.

It's just this is a weird this is a weird thing to run a simulation. This is a weird during a pandemic, it might not be the idea to run a simulation with a guy and be like, hey, let's see. I don't think it's a simulation. No, I'm not.

I'm this guy. You're the expert. But now we know the expert. Look, having a popularity contest to see who controls the nukes is crazy.

It's crazy, especially because we're frivolous. Yeah. What do we pay more attention to the Kardashians, who's right?

And they and I got to be honest with you, they won't like if Kim Kardashian would make a better president than a lot of people, a lot of people in Congress. And that's how that's how crazy it's gotten. That's so crazy that she is not the worst out there. She's not the worst. She's not the worst. She's not the worst. She's a businesswoman. Yeah. She's smart. She's working for prison reform.

She's doing things she does. She goes to Trump. Yeah. And helps people get out of jail that are unjustly imprisoned. She has for many, many people right now, that's pretty sound like more than 18 people have been released because of Kim Kardashian. I think it's crazy. Kim, I'll go with you.

If you want to go to the White House, I'll see you. I'll tell you what. I want to see you with a hat on. I will go there. I'll wear any. Do you think that would ruin your Hollywood career?

I don't think I if I if I have a Hollywood career, someone let me know. Someone email me or call if I have a Hollywood career, I don't want one.

Yeah. My chrism my in my apartment. That's better. I mean, that's the reality of my career as a microphone. I get to see what I want. Yeah. I would like a high, I mean I'd, I'd like to be an extra and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I could do some very funny on a show like that I guess Larry David has a show where he wore a magazine. He wouldn't talk to him.

That's a great episode.

But that's like one of the few that's one of the really funny, great shows out there. Oh, it's a brilliant show. But there's only a few of those that are really that good and there's a lot of garbage.

But like, who is who is like a Trump fan, an open Trump fan.

That's popular other than Kanye. Well, there's got a lot guys sports, right, guys of Tom Brady and yes, Tom Brady. But I it as far as Hollywood, it's Clint Eastwood.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would imagine.

I mean, he said things. Yeah, I don't know.

But he's known for being a Republican and Clint had that thing where he pretended that Obama was sitting next to him and he had a conversation with him.

Yeah. Yeah. Was a chair. Right. Talking to an empty chair.

What I think a lot of studio there's probably a lot of it's just crazy. Imagine if you did that.

You said, hey, Tim, would you do me in a hospital? I went to the Republican convention and they had me stand on the podium and I just pretended that Obama was sitting next to a chair and I just got it. But nobody has the balls to go up to Clint Eastwood and go, let's not do this. Let's go. Let's not do this, Clint.

But what kind of a ridiculous proposition is that to pretend to have a conversation with someone?

Yeah.

And then you you make up their answers just like it was the same reason the gal and all those people were like, let's sing imagine. And no one said, guys, this is the worst idea ever.

I think Republican operatives put them up to that. If I was a Republican operative, I call Gail Goodell and I'm like, why don't you get a bunch of people to sing? Imagine, just walk by her.

Yeah, yeah. That's what we need to get it in their heads. People, celebrities now, like you can see how out of touch some of the markets are quarantining imagines and they're like, just use this time to breathe, just be, just be and just be OK with the silence. Cook nourish yourself. Unlike people jumping out of windows, nobody has any fucking money. You psychopath's just take this time to do yoga, to breathe. The Earth is repairing itself.

I love those people environmentalist's. You're like the earth is repaired. The air in Los Angeles is so clear. I'm like you're going to clearly see stabbings very soon.

Lex Friedman put out an Instagram post a few days ago explaining how many different viruses are currently in contention right now in a world war that is happening.

I'm looking for more news. But he was just saying like this is there's wars going on. Yeah, here it is.

Look at this tweet. There are thirty three excuse me, three hundred twenty thousand plus distinct viruses in mammals and a hundred million plus invertebrates, invertebrates and plants. There's an epic microscopic world war going on all around us and inside us. Nature is beautiful and horrifying. Sauza Anthony at all viral diversity in mammals as on and Lex Freeman Elex Fmr IDM and Lex Freedman, his Instagram.

Lex, who's been on the podcast a bunch times, the genius and he's oddly powerful, is actually a young guy, young son.

And he's like he's like a fucking genius. So how depressing. Stop with spending time with viruses. Do not. But we need to know this is what it is.

Do we know we thought we were OK.

Yeah, I think I mean, we're going to come out of this with a better understanding of the landscape. One hundred percent. I think that's that's the only good that I see.

But we need to be silly and fun and stupid and people need to not every day look at models like the new model shows the old model.

It's like, no, dude, unless it's a real like like it's something that we need to do to stay safe. You don't inundate yourself with coverage. That's my podcast.

Does a reality of any time is a disaster. Yeah. Is it.

Some people can't keep the shit together. Right.

And you find it during disasters. And one thing that you do find is that there's going to be people that make too much noise with meaning. They complain too much and they're freaking out too much and they make the experience bad for other people. Right. And that that's always been a problem with human beings. Yeah, it's just we had the world set up so easy that they were never tested before.

Now, virtually everyone on the planet is tested with a new form of adversity and a new thing that induces anxiety. Right. So these are new things. Yeah. And we're expecting people that are kind of weak to handle new things. And when I be meet, I'm weak. I mean, psychologically weak. There's young people that they're they're prone to indulgence. They want too much attention for their sorrow and their anxiety. They complain too much. They're going to people and they exist.

Well, they they those people are another thing that we have to consider. Yeah. They're they're dealing with an unprecedented amount of stress and then we're expecting them to handle it.

And that's. Yeah, but I think I think it's like people like our job is to kind of if we can make this funny. Yeah.

If we can if we can show that, you know, it is dark, but I make fun of dark stuff, so that's cool. That's fine. You know, for me, I just think the challenge here is to just go keep being funny, be funny throughout and when you are able to.

Get back on stage and be funny. You'll be OK. Have fun. You'll be OK if you curl up in a ball or you just, you know, give in to the temptation to be all doom and gloom. I'm doom, gloom plus funny. You can be doom, gloom and funny. I don't think we necessarily have to be doom gloom. We've got to be realistic.

But even as it stands right now with this disease going right, still the best time to live human beings have ever experienced.

Well, until next month with the Great Depression. But it's coming. But listen, what do you think?

You just told me to buy a gun. An hour is the best time to have more than one.

Yeah, I should have a couple guns, OK. It's a good point. And boxes of bullets.

Yeah, it is a you know, it's a good time to live, but you need you know, you need weaponry. I read about a house party in Bakersfield and I have thought about this.

Yeah. People got together.

They had a house party in Bakersfield and someone fired off 94 shots and shot six people.

Imagine 94 shell casings they found, so you see if you can find the story, these are the same people that are going to break quarantine and these are human beings we look.

But overall, you have to be impressed with the compliance.

Everybody's everybody's basically doing the same thing. We're just staying at home and going to the grocery store.

And and also people are becoming rats. People are calling the cops on like there's people that are call the cops and like kids walking too close together and shit. It's like I don't I don't like when people become rats.

What is going on? Yeah, I don't like that. Do you see that. Yeah, I don't like that throughout from rewards.

I think that's a whole other bigger problem. Are your neighbors hugging. Yeah. Yeah. Do that man.

Dude, I don't like how humanity so easily snaps into like. Yeah. Like you know just informing on people. I don't, I don't love that. I think that's something in us that I hate.

I'm real nervous that we're going to have to have the antibodies in us in order to be able to go places.

Well, that's not going to work because I don't think a huge percentage of us have had this virus. And I don't think it's going to be like that. I think they're going to either have a vaccine or have some sort of antibody that they can give you.

Oh, you know, so you're going to need that plasma transfusion thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm not worried. I think I beat it. I think I had it. I think we're going to find out. Michael, you keep saying this. Well, I'm going to feel like a twenty three man. I'm confident because what if I had it. OK, I'm going to go. Congratulations.

What if I beat it? That's wild. Well, a few of my friends have beat it. Like I said, Michael Yo, my friend Sturgill Simpson, he's got it right now. Yeah. His wife doesn't have it. His kids don't have it. And he got it in Europe weeks ago.

Weird.

It's strange, man. It's weird, man. It's weird. I'm very excited to find out. I hope I hope there's if it's if I do have them, I want it to be like a ceremonial.

Imagine a strange virus like that though that gets into some people and does nothing and other people devastates them and devastates mostly older people.

But occasionally, occasionally, you know what it is, dude, if you were to design a bio weapon like, you know, a psychological weapon, this is psychological. This I don't think it's an effective bioweapon in the sense that it doesn't kill enough people.

But it isn't only that it kills everybody, but it's like it's going to kill you, too. It's going to kill your family. But it's a very effective psychological weapon because you don't know who it's going to kill.

Well, you could say horrifying, but you could also say, like, what if you knew that it was coming?

So you protected yourself and your loved ones with some medicine that only you knew.

And then you release that shit and you watch it wreak havoc. And then when the stock market crashes, you start buying up stocks. Yeah. And you just start speculating.

Yeah, well, it's just again, it's very it comes on the heels in China of some massive protests. Yeah. Not only in China, but all around the world.

Do you imagine if one day we find out that they released an artificially created virus to cause a world pandemic so they can get out of some political shit?

I'll be great. A man not great, but would be amazing. Imagine if there was a nation that was that evil, that really I mean, I'm saying yeah, definitely not something much bigger than I'm saying.

Imagine how crazy that would be if something like that did exist, could happen.

And I think it would be bigger than a nation. It would probably be some of the most powerful people ever. I mean, I think that would be bigger than one nation. That might be a lot of different people going, listen, man, we just got to look.

If you were China and you were evil, I'm not saying China is evil, but if you were let's just say we're in a movie. Let's not even call China. Let's call it the darkland.

And they are going to start calling it the darkland very soon.

And they decided they decided to release a virus that kills a gigantic chunk of the population, causes everyone to stay home, causes the market to collapse, and then dive in and start buying up giant chunks of the the businesses control these businesses.

Crazy.

It could absolutely happen. And we wouldn't know and you wouldn't be able to prove it and would take a while to find out. Even though China is now suppressing research into the origins of the virus, which is not a good sign, and that doctor disappeared.

Do none of these things are good.

None of these are good. Oh, but I'm not worried. You should be terrified by you. Not worried because you've got to be a fatalist at a certain point. You got to go. If I'm if I'm if I'm going to go, I'm going to go. That's what it is. You've got to be a fatalist. The starting point something cowboy. Yeah, I'm very Zen. You just got if you're going to go, you're going to go.

You know, when this great one of my friends is on a on a flight and that was about to I was sitting next to somebody funny guy, a comedian, dance history man. And he was sitting there and he was working and there was he was walking on like a show. There's a producer behind him. He's he's sitting there. The plane's really rocky is getting really bad. It's just stormy. And he goes, you know, whatever happens, I had a good life.

And the woman behind the producer goes, No, you haven't.

Great. I know you have, because no, you haven't. What are you talking about? Generally, people work with someone they hate.

How many people work with someone that they think is odd and fucking annoying and they just they just can't people it's a lot of people. There's no choice.

You've got to do it. You've got to show up. Now, you work with somebody you hate and they're coughing. Imagine that now your co-workers coughing. Oh, my God.

And you're like you're like I think Cynthia's got the bug at that dry cough, dude.

It's got to be terrifying to hear that next year you're working and all you hear is, oh, that's got to be crazy, you'd be so angry when you get more sleep. Yeah. Why didn't she take vitamin C? Yeah, no one's thinking like that, but they're all I love. I was like, so how you wash your hands. Yeah. Why didn't she go to the sauna? And everyone's like, glad she's dead. I'm getting out of here before I start coughing.

Uh, you know, it's a tough it's tough.

The idea that you could take a bunch of people, like in a workplace, 20 people, and you just make them become friends and you have to work together every day. If you're in an office of 20 people and you see insane people every day. Yeah, they have to be your friends. Well, that's what I like.

All those elite fraternities like Skull and Bones and shit. The challenge of them is you take 20 people you think are going to be leaders and they don't know each other at all.

And you force them to have this lifelong bond. How do you do that? You do it by, like, making them do embarrassing shit in front of each other. That's the whole thing of like why those institutions exist, like Harvard and Yale, all those places that are just take very successful people that have, you know, potential to be future leaders and be influential people and like mold them together and force them to create very close bonds. That's what all those secret societies, fraternities, that's what all that stuff's about.

So it's very interesting. That's what elite power circles have done forever.

That's the whole point of any of those things, is to just create bonds between people that have no idea that each other existed before they wake up next to each other in coffins or whatever.

Well, the thing that people are always talking about when it comes to conspiracy theories about depopulation of the planet. Yeah, it's always like the elites are going to depopulate the planet. They're going to kill, you know, fifty percent of the population and then they're going to take over and control things.

And it sounds ridiculous, right? Right.

It sounds ridiculous until they have the robots. But if you know or you have a virus, right, because you don't have the robots yet, they still need us to pick berries and shit.

When they have the robots, all bets are off. Yeah.

Once A.I. advances to that level, once you see the self-driving cars and all that stuff, once you walk into a bank and a robot, say, hello, Mr. Robot.

Then you're like, oh, yeah, we're we're going soon. They're going to start stuff and bats and chickens and get to that.

Yeah, I think we might not get that now. I think if this if this symbolizes the new normal and then this is this is like where we're going to realize that these things are around us and there are hundreds and millions of them and they're they're constantly morphing and evolving.

But then you just this becomes you have maybe that's just what the future is. We live like mice.

You know, that's not even a life, though, terror, but it's not a life. There's a lot of rats. That's not a life. You see that thing that I sent you about rats in New York?

Yeah, I woke up to it. I woke up. He texted me like he said to me, they're rat boys in New York. I looked outside. It was beautiful. I'm like, fuck New York. Fuck those people. Fuck those comedy purists over there in New York.

Now they're living in a post apocalyptic hardscape where comedy purists.

Well, they they they you know, when I say go to this guy's podcast, they go, I wouldn't do YouTube's podcast. I'm like, you're an idiot.

Some of those people are stupid. Oh.

So they just want to do stand. Yeah, yeah. Those people. So I'm like, you know, not all of them.

Listen, the funniest people in the world, you know, were from the East Coast, are from the East Coast. But, you know, sometimes you can be a little you can be a little short sighted.

Well, I think they're in there's some the thing about podcasts is there's so many of them. So you go, well, what is a podcast? Is it like this really horrible one that I don't want to listen to?

Or is it like, you know, fucking some really interesting, well produced wanderin show? Right.

What is it? What is a podcast? How is it how is it what I do and also what Dan Carlin does, it's the fuck are those the same thing. They're not really they're not.

But what's interesting is like it's just the you've always made this point about comedy. You've said comedy. So many different things. Right. That's why you have the net and then you have whatever else like you have to.

Yeah. You have the full spectrum of they look similar, but you have the full spectrum clothes. Very much so. So that's the whole thing. So I think with podcasting, it's just it's not even a thing. It's just like it's just a platform. It's a technology. Yeah. That allows everybody to do whatever they want.

Yeah.

It's it's like having an Instagram page, like my Instagram page is very different than Deleuze, which is very different than Karl.

Absolutely nothing is just like everybody's got a different thing that they're doing with it. And what a podcast allows you to do.

It allows you to do like a show or a thing without having anybody else tell you what to do. Right. That's exactly it. And think about what you're doing.

The fuck would ever tell you that's a good thing to do?

No one would ever tell me anything I've got. It's a good thing to do my whole life. No one would have ever looked at anything I've said and said, no, do that. That's a great investment.

That house, especially like a podcast, though, right? Like what do you want to do? You do you plan this out? Yeah, just rant. I just go, I just go about things I care about.

They go get out of it. Go get out of here. That's I can't bring this to the producers. Yeah. They're like this is not going to work. This is what people in. Mental institutions, do you think I'm going to bring that to network? That's your idea. How are you going to talk? How are we going to sell that to quit the bad things about to go? Bye bye bye.

Well, listen, it's a it's a it's a mobile streaming app that they launched during a pandemic when most people are like watching TV on your couch going, yeah, I'm not commuting anymore.

It's a good time for some things, though, that thing. But what if it's got a big audience right out of the gate with some high profile guests?

I'm sure the 30 million unemployed people are going to be there tomorrow. Keep buying it. They're they're a little bit of trouble. And I don't have the facts to back that up.

But I would and I don't have the stock charts. But I'm telling you right now, if I were them, I'd start preparing alternate strategies.

What's an alternate strategy? You know, it's backed by big people. You know, Meg Whitman ran eBay and Jeffrey Katzenberg was on the podcast. And they're brilliant people. I love. They're friends of mine. I hang out at their house. I'm best friends with both of them, really. But when I watched Equipe Launceston. Yeah, we hang out and we hang out all the time. When I watched Equipe launch thing, they spent a lot of that thing talking about how the movie looks different.

If you hold it like this and you hold it like that because it the picture switches when you go like this, like that.

And I'm like, if that's 50 percent of the reason I need to have your thing. We're in deep trouble. Deep, deep trouble.

I mean, it's just, you know, edit that all that point is this, but you know what I mean?

It's like, you know, it would have been a great idea in a world where everybody's maybe commuting all the time. This world, even when we come back, dude, a lot of people are going to be staying at home. A lot of companies are going to go, you're non-essential. We don't need you in the office. Yes, you can stay home. No, I think for sure meetings are happening.

That's weird that it's like really good for some things like Netflix. Great. Great for that. It's great for that. Great for podcast. Great for podcast. Great for what else. What else. A great terrible for sports. Terrible for support of anybody. Yeah. Terrible for sports. Terrible for live entertainment, terrible for anything that you know, festivals and concerts and things like that, you know, live events, you know. Live podcast kilton is the biggest live podcast in the world.

Can't do it. It's hard for that, things like that. But what it is good for is for streaming services, for content, for online podcast, things like that. You know, probably for you know, for, you know, these these networks and apps that allow you to communicate with a lot of people at once, like things like Zoom, you know, these things are these things are going to be big, probably too big for Zoom.

Right. If that was the problem. Yeah. Then then, you know, there's probably going to be some some things that go by the wayside because this is like this might kill movie theaters.

This is why I read an article by AMC that said that they're they may not reopen. They've they've been downgraded from, like, bad to like, fossicked. Yeah, I read that too. Yeah.

So they're in trouble, but it's also a lot of people would like to just be able to get the movies at home.

Yeah. No one cares. And the way they're doing it with that, it's kind of forced their hand. So Apple's got like on I movie or I I home my TV with some Apple TV, but they're living in a horror show.

So when they try to watch a movie, it's like someone's giving birth in the next room. So the problem is some people go to the movie theater. It's an escape. Right? So the reality is, depending on how much you know, it's like you're sitting on the couch, your grandmother's diner, Korona, you're like, I'm trying to watch a film here and this bitch is backing her lungu up in my house. So some people need those things.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What movie? I think something I'll come back to or some it'll be some hipster bullshit thing that it'll go away for a few years and they'll bring it back like remember this.

Well those are the ones when you go to a town. Yeah. Like a local movie theater, the real butter on the popcorn and shows in Bozeman, Montana. And we saw back to the future. That's great. Get back to the future in the movie theater. So it's like this is amazing and it's like one of those. But the seats suck, right?

No, we're good. OK, Drive-Ins could come back. People have been like, oh, good. Comes back. Good call. A lot of hand jobs. Nineteen fifties, nineteen fifties. Drive it. How many people got jerked off at a Drive-In.

That's a number that's like almost uncountable. Eighty percent of the people were getting jerked off at drive ins. If they saw a movie there they got jerked off 80 percent of the time.

That's so funny.

It's so funny now how violent movies are getting jerked off to just a violent film, you know, just a horrific once every 12 Years a Slave and you get an Shakhtar. It's like, God, this is rough.

You got to do what you got to do.

That's that's that's the way it is. It's got to do it. I'm you know, I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm curious.

Yeah. I'm curious how this is going to go down.

I think you made a good point.

It makes me think about health differently and the necessity of, like, really trying to turn, you know, take care of myself better because you want to be able to fight these things off.

Think about it like the three little pigs. You don't want a health status. Thank you very much. I want a house for mystic's. You want a house made of bricks. That's because. That I never read that. Is that what it is? Yes, the three little pigs, the wolf blows the house down from your house. OK, so what it is, is the idea to protect yourself from a wolf bitch, make a real fucking house.

But if I have antibodies, it means that I got Breck's. Maybe, and that's crazy.

Maybe it comes back. We don't know what this fucking thing.

We don't know. We don't even know if it's real. It's probably not real. It's five g he they're burning cytology fucking morons. What is funny, I don't even know what five years it's going to be higher speed internet.

It's, it's, it's a new bandwidth.

You don't think there could be some issues with that either. Could be right. But it's a new thing. So when the when you have like video files, if you download it, download like yeah, I'm flying in man.

I just know that everybody to everything, like everything is one conspiracy now. Everything's like it's a it's it's the Knights Templar and five G and I'm like Guys, my phone is five G.

I never used it once. I have a Galaxy Note that it's five G. It's never spent.

I don't even have any of the G's I have. Like it's the most embarrassing service branches from people who have no control over their own life. Is that true.

It's a bad service. It's not good. Verizon and AT&T are for legit people. AT&T sketchy. Yeah. It's not for people like to talk on the phone.

The good thing about AT&T is you can pretend your signal sucks. I'm sorry. Like I got to go. Verizon seems to be able to hold more. Verizon is the one that everyone.

But the fact that there's dead spots anywhere in twenty twenty. Fuck to you. Yeah. In China, you could be on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and you get five bars. Those motherfuckers are wired.

I know, but twenty one million people lost those cell phones on the mountain. They lost those phones. Goodbye.

We'll tell them what it is. It's twenty one million cell phone subscribers are no longer online.

Yeah. So that means and such cell phones would attract people to China. So the government loves people having them. Yeah.

So the idea the twenty one million disappeared might suggest that, you know, the death toll is higher or the other option, maybe they were saying what it also could be would be that a lot of people are two lines. And then with the pandemic hit, they'd lost the ability to hold two lines, didn't have that support anymore.

So they cancel.

One also feels like there's a group of people that are trying to push the war with China narrative. You start to feel that people are like, hey, maybe let's hey, let's they're the enemy, let's fight them. And it's like they probably are the enemy. But do we need a war now?

Right. Of course. But we don't need a war with China, a war with China, with China. That's a real that's a real world. Yeah. Let's just take a break. Yeah. A war with China is not a war with Afghanistan.

Oh, that's a serious war. War.

Yeah, we don't need that with an army that's huge and super powerful and has nuclear weapons. And just let's just pretend they did like those people on fire that we're sick.

If they did everybody imagine what they'll do to you.

Everybody makes mistakes. Imagine what they'll do to you if they eat dog. If I was in a closed door meeting and they said we torched 20 million of our people, I'd go, I know this is you know, this is the way you do it. Do you really want to fuck with people who eat bats now think you do?

No, I think I think you're dealing with a billion dollars. Just let them do their thing. Let's do our thing. We don't need a war. I don't need to go there. I need a bat. Well, it's also there.

They're already they're imprisoned by their government. It's such a we're not against Chinese people.

No, no one is. And I'm not even I'm not even saying I'm against the Chinese government. I'm saying that the Chinese government is for sure a dictatorship or an authoritarian government.

But we don't want to tell them we can slide in that direction in America. I'm just saying what a yes it is, what it is, it that's that's what I think the worry is that people call that out, which is true.

But they also should realize we can slide there.

Yeah, this is my point has always been that we're human beings just like them and they are doing it that way. Well, they have a dictatorship that tells them what to do in twenty twenty. There's no difference between them and us. It's just they're in a different part of the world. Right. But that could be us. Could be us. Got to be careful. Yeah. We got to be real careful Kevin. All right. Specially right now because those rights they slip away that chip away on and they never get it back.

Right. And you know, Michael Shermer and I were having the conversation about being able to talk to people that you don't agree with and how important that is.

Yeah, he wrote a book about giving the devil is due it being able to talk to people who disagree with, well, this is all this is what this all relates to, this kind of this thing that's going on here. You got to like there's got to be open discourse, right? You can't shut down absolute where you go. No, they can't shut down what you do. You have to have freedom because it is freedom. Then you can tell me what to do for some strange reason.

You can be a person that decides to tell me what to do. I don't want that. That's why we started this country in the first place. Like, well, we're going to slide towards safety so hard.

That's why you've got to deal with people's opinions online that you don't like because they have the right to express them. That's why I've always been like people say things all the time and I'm like, I think that's abhorrent. But they should have the right to post it on. You know, my aunt should have the right to use her Facebook page.

You know, why not? Even though I think she should be in jail.

I mean, the problem is. Also, the people don't want people being influenced by people that are full of shit like preachers or televangelists or some hucksters they don't want, but I'm not getting influenced by them.

And you're not either. So it doesn't work on people that are paying attention. So we're going to protect people that don't pay attention and then the huckster will be doing that. Or we're not protecting young people, OK? We're protecting young people. How young? When I was twenty one, you couldn't have caught me with that stupid shit. But here's the other thing. Those hucksters of preachers will just get better so you can box them out. They'll just evolve and their messages will get you know, they'll figure out what the people that are going to get duped they're going to do.

They're going to get do. They're going to get fired. That's part of the problem. I was always going to buy that house because I'm an idiot. Well, you were young, too. I was young and it was fun.

But isn't that a part of what we need to see around us to. You need to see failure. You need to you cannot. You can't. As you've said, it's like nerf the world.

You can't make it safe for everybody. People got to deal with things and learn how to deal with them. But get armor, get immunity. And the quarantine sent us back out to dad. Gavin Newsom sent this out.

Right now I got antibodies. I don't care. We're going to find out. Three minutes. Three minutes. We're going to find him here. We have to go. No, he's here.

This is great. He's just sitting out there with a needle.

Yeah, they're ready to it up their needles and getting out the alcohol pads. Wow. Yes. This is wild. Going to find out what's up. I'm excited that you don't have shit. I bet I don't.

But you never even got a cold. I bet I don't going to test you for being a pussy. It's green. Like I was sick.

All right. Shall we wrap it up? Yes, thank you. I'm doing I always appreciate it. Thank you so much. Tell everybody your podcast, the Tim Dylan Show. It's a fact free zone. Come there, Tim, Jay, Dylan on little one on Instagram and Twitter. It's a lot of fun over there. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thanks, everybody.

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