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We can just buy that shit now. When I was a kid, no one even knew what the fuck CBD was and you definitely couldn't just buy it. It used to be illegal, even though most of it's not even psychoactive. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest today is one of the absolute funniest stand up comedians on Earth. I've said that many times on this podcast. He's a brilliant comic. He just spent a lot of time writing. He's like a super headliner that most people don't recognize.

He should be huge.

And we're working our best we're working our hardest to try to let people know. He's also got a new YouTube series that we I did one of his episodes a few years back, and he's just put it on YouTube now. There's several episodes.

It's called Notebook's Right. So it's called The Notebook's. Anyway, he's fucking awesome.

His name is Owen Smith, government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience by my podcast.

My Night All Day. Oh, man. Hey, how are you feeling? You're good, man. I'm excited. We cheers.

Cheers, man. Come on, man. I love. Yeah, we just test it on.

Yes. Negative is apparently has been some controversy about this.

So just let me.

Right. Let everybody know right away. There's no shortage of antibody tests. What we're using, there's no shortage of them.

People saying, why do people on the front lines, a lot of people, it's just misunderstanding and confusion. These tests, there's no shortage of I understand some people in some places have a hard time getting access to tests. That's not the case here. So I take it upon myself to test everybody as they come into the studio. This is not taking away from anybody that's on the front lines. It's not taking tests away from any medical workers.

The tests that they would use for them, particularly the they're using swabs.

I mean, look, man, those fucking people that are working in those hospitals and the medical workers, those people are legit heroes.

Yes. You know, and if I found out that there was something we were doing that was somehow another taking away from their ability to be tested, I would never do it, you know.

So people got upset, apparently, because, well, also people writing articles about things because, you know, it's like it's a hot topic right there.

Home, too. Yeah, I get it.

I get it. I'm not meaning I'm not mad. I get it, you know. But when I posted it, Danielle and I were wrona free people like someone someone posted some story with.

It was hilarious that I'd go out of my way to not read comments. And these motherfuckers are writing stories where they're taking comments from Instagram and you. Seeing them as quotes, just some random McGoo that's posting something, it's one of them said that we were low key flexing, that we had tests.

Yes, that's just someone just looking to use the term low key flexing and they don't have any place for it's like, I think below Keflex. And he's got a Korona test.

So it's a it's a test that tests you for antibodies.

You were laughing at my face the entire time.

Got a little nervous as you're a little nervous, but thinking of there also there was something that I shared with you earlier today. There was a new study that, Jamie, to see if we could pull up that study. It is out of I think it's out of UCLA. Is that what Autodom? It's it says early antibody tests indicate far more cases and a much lower mortality rate. Right.

So they think there's at least 400000 people have been infected in California. So the mortality rate is way, way lower than they previously thought it was, at least in California. You know, it obviously varies.

This is a crazy disease. It's crazy. Doesn't make any sense. It varies depending upon what your physical condition, whether or not you've been smoking, whether or not there's apparently a great benefit to exercising regularly, even while you have it, if you catch it exercising. But then there was this fucking crazy thing. What is that guy's name, the Fox thing I put up? We'll do the first find.

It's L.A. Times and it's got the subscription blocker on it. Oh, the sons of bitches here. I'll send you another one, OK?

There's a. There's one on L.A., Dotcom, Avalon, the L.A. Times, I can give you my look at you, I support journalism. I do, too. But The L.A. Times I like it reads like movies.

I get it. I just I don't have the time for that. Here goes early. Antibody tests indicates far more covid-19 cases, lower mortality rate. There's a decrease in the number of deaths. Study indicates that there could be hundreds of thousands of people could be infected without knowing it. That's what's so weird about it. Let me ask you this question, though.

Can you explain mortality rates just like. Yes. The amount of people that get it, how many of them die? So if there's a high mortality rate is a yes. Right. Like Ebola. Right. Vicious mortality rate. Yes, really. But rabies, the worst 100 percent. Yes.

Rabies is like ninety nine point nine nine percent.

The only time they if they catch it before the symptoms set in, you survive to survive. But if they don't catch it before the symptoms, like you just get rabies, you don't get over it unless you have to medicate.

Every black person I know always cross the street when you see a random dog, like it's like live in these communities and people don't have the ability to go, it's OK, safe life.

What I did, I've been bitten by dogs. So I take your word for this.

There's nobody loves dogs more than me. I love dogs, but random dogs like you never know what someone did to that dog. You know, you never know how people treat that dog. Yeah.

And I've had a bunch of sketchy dogs have had dogs that I got from the pound that were super sketchy.

Users knew I came home once. One of my dogs killed my other dog. Oh, my living room and my living room was a goddamn crime scene.

I'm like, oh, it's just little of the dog. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've had some I've had some bad experience. I was a rescue dog as well. Yeah. I've had some bad experiences with dogs.

When I was a kid we adopted a dog that had distemper a Doberman and he he started like his eyes were like glazed over and he's snarling us barking dogs.

I'm like, oh Jesus Christ. I could, I could yeah.

We I grew up in apartments so we couldn't have dogs. And then so I had a cat named Taco. My dad gave them to me and I went to go visit them in the Bahamas.

He gave me a cat. I think he knew it would piss my mom off.

So I had a cat growing up. I got it back from you.

I came back with a carrot cake from the from the kind of bakery that they that they have over there and in the in a cat, a cake and a cat.

My mom was pissed. See if you can find this conversation, Jamie. So and it's it says the joke, but it also has a question. It says their joke.

No, but that's Mediaite says there, Jay, right. Yeah. Every other website is not saying they're joking. It doesn't sound like they're joking. I think they're trying to come up with some sort of a cover for it.

But let's let's play what he said.

It's John Roberts who is a correspondent for FOX. And then who is the other guy? The other guy who works for The New York Times, Doug Mills.

He's a photographer.

OK, so now let's it says apparently joking doesn't sound too joking. Play play what it says. Because, John, let me explain here. John Roberts comes in and it's going to play an ad before this.

Jimmy would kill the volume.

John Roberts comes in and when he comes in, he's not wearing a mask. And he tells the other gentleman, you could take the mask off and he tells them about this L.A. study.

Go ahead, play it. All right, where you go there, you can take out the master, the case fatality rates at point one point three point two, that's that's reassuring. USC, everybody here has been vaccinated anyway. USC and L.A. County Public Health come up with a study that found that there are seven thousand cases in California, but they really believe that anywhere two hundred twenty one thousand four hundred forty two thousand people who were. Really? Yeah, so that makes a zero point one two.

There's a study that came out with that. So it's a justification with respect to. Last, you're right along with. It was a hoax, was a hoax. So here's here's what's weird about that one.

The guy says, well, we've all been vaccinated here anyway right now.

Maybe he was joking, maybe he's got a weird sense of humor. Don't joke. It's a weird joke. Weird, yeah. Now, they have done some trial vaccines. There are some vaccines that are in trial. There was a woman in Seattle. She was the first person to get tested. And I sent this stuff to.

Matt Staggs earlier today, and he sent something to me there, there have been several different there's 70 coronavirus vaccines right now that are under development with three in human trials. OK, so there there have been some things going on right now.

And the first person treated with the coronavirus is in Seattle. There's an article about that, what she's talking about getting tested.

But this this guy saying we've all been vaccinated. Like, I don't know what that means.

It's hard to tell people. People have weird sense of humor. Right.

Like if you listen to comics. Right. And if you took some of the shit that we say, go down here. But it does a terribly wrong. Yeah, they're eating babies. They're raping old ladies, you know, like we say, ridiculous shit all the time. And we get used to it. Right. Maybe they say ridiculous shit, too.

I think so. Especially they are dealing with right now. Right. But the other guy coming in and saying you don't have to wear a mask.

So Roberts comes in with no mask on. Yeah. It says you don't need a mask to take the mask off.

Yeah, well, that study's weird man, because, OK, maybe maybe the I believe the mortality rate is correct.

I believe that it's way less deadly than they thought it was, but they had to prepare for something that they thought was going to be real deadly because it's a real deadly in Italy.

So but the question is like there's so many questions, why is it so deadly in Italy? Is it because they're older people? Is because they smoke? Why is it so deadly in New York City? Like, is it because they're stacked on top of each other? I don't know. Is it is?

Oh, definitely. Definitely. Definitely. That has to have something to do, you know, distancing. They're also. OK, so I you know, I have an office and I get eat when things don't pop in. Each driver was an older black man. He's walking like mad close to me and he goes, black people can't get this shot right.

And I'm like, Oh, Manuelito. So I get the thing wrong on that.

Part of me was like, OK, but I'm like, why am I taking advice from is this the Uber driver guy, then personal friend of mine, his dad, who I also know, black ski trip. He started this black ski organization and they went to Idaho and they came back. And a lot of the the they were older gentlemen, but a lot of them got infected with the virus to have since passed away from it.

So they in their son. It's in it's in the L.A. Times is the first article his son did a day by day social media post to try to turn the the narrative that black folks you can catch just this is what happened to my dad. He was like 61, I want to say.

And so I so that's why I was very nervous in the face when we when we took the test is like, I want to have the confidence of that man had walking in the room. But I'm also very I'm more of a safe than sorry. Then I can't wait to be in that space.

You can take your mask off, you know what I mean? I you know, I have two young children. I'm just like I'm.

Yeah, I'm just I'm more on the cost inside, but I'm not telling anyone what they should believe when I believe. But just for me, I'm just like I'm hearing about what it does to you, like just just hearing about what it does to your lungs and how to expand. It makes it hard for you to get through. We need a ventilator in order to get what if your lungs collapse, which is what happened to one of these gentlemen.

And and it's just it's a wrap it up, but it is like. I don't know I don't know the specifics of of how anything else plays out, but I am also hearing stories from the other side of people who are who are like fairly, you know, within my six degrees who are succumbing to it.

So I'm just like I you know, that's great.

And but I I'm not I'm not there yet, like, you know, I mean, like tingling.

So I am more like my first of all, anybody can catch it. But second of all, I think that if your immune system has any holes in it, that shit gets in. Right. And and it can fuck you up. Look at Michael Yo. Michael Yo is a healthy guy. He's strong. He lifts weights all the time. Right. He's relatively young and he's 45. Right. You know, Michael Yo is in good shape.

He's not overweight.

Yes, I see. Real bad. I didn't know that hospitalized for a week said he thought he was going to die. He scared the fuck out of me.

Right. When I heard it was him, he was texting me. He said I would call you right now, but I can't talk to him. I was like, wow, yeah, man.

Because what it was like physically does. And so. When I was going to the grocery store like that, that's when I was the most horrified, because that's when you kind of get a temperature of how everyone is. And so when I went early on, people were like six feet away, like people were joking.

And then it was something happened and people started kind of taking it as serious as, you know. Yeah.

People could come in and. Yeah, I mean, I'm just I'm a very cautious mom.

I'm just a safe I'm I'm the most reckless on a stage.

But on stage, I'm like, what's going on with the police? What the fuck's going on? Because you are kind of reckless and that's funny. That's true about you. Yeah, I never thought about it that way.

Like you like a real safe guy off stage. Yeah, man. Yeah, man.

And it's just I've seen it could almost be like a funny movie, right. Every time one of my friends go fuck it, man. I'm just going to live in the moment. Wow.

What happened to Tommy? Tommy Gun. Got to be careful.

I mean, it's just like I have so many just stories or memories from my childhood or people when man fuck, you got to leave for now gone.

You know what I mean?

So it's just like and I, you know, so I'm back and I'm back and forth on that moment. So when I saw him walk in, that guy looked like he was in shape. He worked out. And there are a lot of people in Trader Joe's lines like him, you know what I mean? Like when you stand in line, it's like you don't need a man like those people.

And it's just like it's not for me, man. I don't know what I don't want to bring anything home to my young kids. So if it was just me in the crib, I would be trying to get last days.

Yeah, but I'm married, happily married. So my brain I'm not I am super conscious.

It's like single way single people are fucked right now, right.

Yeah. If you live by yourself in an apartment, you're not allowed to leave. You can't go to work anymore. So you're saying the party going crazy.

Crazy. You can't fucking watch all the news outlets though. If you fuck someone, it better be just one person. Yeah. Real careful.

Yeah. Yeah. We all go together. It's around the show person.

It bothers me this the restrictions on personal liberties. I think it's I think I'm very here's like here's what I'm happy about.

I'm happy that so many people have done the social distancing thing and quarantined and kept away.

Yeah. Almost everybody I know, almost everybody know just staying home. My kids are home, doing home school. All my friends kids are home doing home schooled. They're staying home from work, everyone staying home. And we don't go anywhere. You know, I come here. I go home. That's it. That's my lot. Just stay put. Stay put. Just let let the fucking dust settle. Yeah. It's great in that way. But it's also scary for all these fucking people that have businesses.

It's scary. Or for people that have compromised immune systems. Oh gosh yeah. This is the weirdest time of our lives.

Yeah. I think. But we were talking earlier. I think that the planet needs this break. Yeah.

Because as soon as we stayed in for like a week, it started raining in L.A. light skies and clear skies.

A clear signal has the best air quality and all of the world her right to stay in the house for a couple of weeks. Fix itself. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of crazy and it is weird, man. I'm curious to see what happens on the other side of this. But like our industry is because you had a life I thought I was supposed to pop. Yeah.

Like that kind of stuff is just like I sold out show in Vancouver last night in an arena.

I couldn't do it. We moved it to October.

Look, that's the last of the worries. My health is fine. I'm I'm worried about health more than anything. Right. And I'm worried about the economy. I'm worried about people that like my friend Adam Perry Lang, who owns Apple restaurants, like my favorite steakhouse in L.A..

Yeah, he's he's spending most of his time cooking for hospital workers and bringing food to them. So that's given him a sense of purpose through all this. And they're doing like curbside pickup where people can order food online. It's an amazing steakhouse, but they might not they might not make it. And I was texting with them last night. I'm going to get him on the podcast soon. And he was saying that for his friends in the restaurant industry, it's so grave.

It's like everyone is barely hanging on and they might drop off left and right. I mean, we might lose half our restaurants. Oh, yeah. You know, yeah.

Did you hear about what happened to Small Business loan? And then the Chris Steakhouse got it and none of the waiters got it. None of them just go straight, straight to the business. I think the idea is, look, if you give it to the waiters and the business goes under, the waiters won't have a job when the business comes back.

So they keep the business open. The waiters will have a job when everything comes back. We just need more. We need to figure out, you know, these people have to be able to work.

And if they can't work, we've got to figure out a way to sustain them. And I don't know how nobody's ever figured this out before. Nobody's ever had to do so. They they burned through the small business loan shit and like that.

Yeah. They were saying because it was supposed to be for companies, 500 employees or less. But, you know. Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, time to step up. What's he doing?

How much money would Jeff Bezos have left if you gave everybody a thousand dollars?

Listen, he would he would be if everybody everybody in this country, in this country, 320 million dollars.

He gave everybody a thousand. Do the math, Jamie.

I'm going to say, how much of a moron is that? Billions of trees.

Well, it's a thousand million is a billion. So B, 300 billion. So he'd be broke. He broke. He'd be broke instantly. Crazy imagine desert just became a hippie sort of give up being an asshole. It's like people don't remember Bill Gates, the old Bill Gates, right. People see Bill Gates now. I see Bill Gates now.

And I see a guy wearing an outfit. He wears an outfit. It's like he's got a looks like Spiderman, like he puts on a Spider-Man. This is my really nice rich guy thing. You've got a sweater, bitch. It's 100 degrees outside. Why you got that sweater with a shirt underneath it. It's secretly ventilated and.

Yeah. Does he ever have a t shirt on? Does Bill Gates have a T-shirt?

I heard he had a house. Where? When you walk into a room, it recognizes like how you like the temperature, like your band. Yes, you got a clip, you were pin. Yeah, you would change the temperature. It would make coffee that you like.

Did it. And I was like my I was single when I heard about this thing. I wish I had that because that's how the girl knew it was over.

Like this coat is changed to set and yeah, you walk in, it changes the artwork and flips over.

Right. Right. But I mean, yeah, he called this though.

He called Iowa. We weren't ready for a pandemic like years ago.

Fifteen, twenty, fifteen. Yeah. Yeah. Well he set it up. He's, he's the mastermind behind it. He's like one of The Incredibles, like the bad guy and the girl.

I'm just confused by his outfit because it's like he's dressing up like Mister Rogers on purpose. He wants you to think of him in a different way because Savage Man, he was the most ruthless motherfucker when he was running Microsoft. That's why Microsoft got so huge. They would take no prisoners.

Businessmen. Yes, take no prisoners.

He's but he's pretending like he's you know, I kind of love that shit, though, like when people because you just have to know how to look for it, right?

Yeah. Like like I don't I don't trust anybody that doesn't cuss on stage. You know, my life is like something's going on right now.

The ones do freaky shit. Oh yeah. Ball gags. Yes. Oh look at that. He's got the t shirt there. Come on, man.

That's a button up t shirt with a collar. Everything has a collar though, but that's a long time ago. That looks like about fifteen years old.

It's a nice curved look at that crew. Wow. In this like was ludus like the Forest Gump of he was like this actor alluded to the fear factor after me I where's that connection.

Like a lot of money. And he's like, I'll take it. Yeah. Amazing, amazing man like that. I don't know. I'm a big fan. Yeah. I like that a lot man. I was a bit about him in my act. Yeah.

I was in a restaurant he owned and he just, he was like walking through shaking hands. I was like Luda. My friend Jeremy Roll shout out to Jeremy directed his first video. Oh, Jeremy and I went to college together and he directed his first two and I put it on the map.

So I've always been a fan of Ludo, but I've and I'm what I like about his career is that he's like he's not somebody you would think of, but when he's in there, you don't mind that he's there. Right? I know what I mean.

Like when I was watching the Fast and Furious movies, I was like, all right, you know, what is it like? Luda today?

I'm the biggest fan in the world of muscle cars, of those 1960s muscle cars, and I never watch one of those fucking movies.

You got to just watch them get out of here, watch it on mute, man, because you'll get to you get the best of both worlds out of here for the fuck out of here.

All that jumping over bridges. Yeah, it's crazy. 1869 Chargers. The guy is ridiculous. Very well.

Yeah, man, I got to thank you, man. Since I was here last, you you lit a flame under me.

You challenged me to put notebook's out.

Yes, it's out. It's out. Yeah. We were talking about last time folks at comedians, we a lot of us keep our old old notebooks.

Right. And it's like three years ago. Right. Close to it. Yeah. So three years your own you got to hold me. And he said, do you have any old notebooks. I'm doing the show and I'm like, oh shit. I saved a bunch of them.

And I found something from like 1992. Yes. And they were so terrible.

And we so we said, Oh, I sat in the Comedy Store. It is fucking ruthlessly embarrassing. Yes. It's so bad.

Households at these premises are so awful.

And so you put it on YouTube now, which is the way to go. Yeah, I'm so glad you did that. And so this is available. Is it Owen Smith TV's that you're paving your own Smith comedy? Is it Owen Smith TV or a mini TV?

But they created this page. But if you go to almost with comedy that like that won't come up, you have to do YouTube. I need your help in fixing it. But that's confusing. If you go to YouTube, Dotcom backslash Owen Smith TV, you'll get this if you just search, OK. Oh, notebooks. Just go to own TV.

Yeah. Come on Smith TV.

Oh there you go. OK, yeah. Subscribe Scribe notifications.

Yes. And so help me be able to do more of these. Yes.

How many have you done so far. Shot six. We put out four and I'm a release. Two more coming up. So if you get on, if you subscribe, you know, you'll know when they're coming out sooner. I might do something for you guys.

You got Neil Brennan. Alonzo Bodden. Yeah. Eric Griffin. Yep. And you. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, man. Oh, my friends. Yeah, man, it was it was great because everybody has a different approach to the craft. And I didn't know that Eric and Alonzo took comedy classes.

Did they really. Yes. And I was like, oh, was like, you know, man, I'm not a snob in comedy class. I love it.

And this guy named Lenny Activist taught Alonzo and Lenny.

And I heard the name, I was like, I know the name now, I know all of you. If someone like kind of does me kind of foul or whatever, I forget about it, like, it helps me to just live.

I don't carry it. Good for you. I wish I.

So I was like, I know that name. And then as I'm editing it, I look I know that motherfucker, but I could do.

But when I met him, he was running a comedy club called The Fallout. It was called the Funny Firm. And then it became the fallout. And then it literally fell out like later. But I moved to Chicago in 95.

And what I loved about the room is you could perform downstairs and then you would run upstairs and perform and then you come back downstairs and do another one. And so on a Saturday night, you could do six shows because they would do three shows. Oh, wow. Yeah, right.

When he started papering the room and all of that. So I went to audition. You know, you go just let me do a guess. It he hired me. He goes do the rest of the night. I was like bit at the end of the night. He pays everybody but me and he goes, I got spots for you. And I was able to get some money in like two other comics, Dewayne Kennedy, Enti, FIPS, they go, that's bullshit.

And they gave me some of their money and I never forgot them for that. I went home that night. I turned on the TV. Dwayne Kennedy, the guy that handed me the money, he's in an episode of Aimin playing Halle Berry's boyfriend. Like that was like, who the fuck is this guy that gave me? But that's like my friend to this day to kiss Halle Berry.

I don't remember who. I don't remember. Yeah, man, he was the he was early on. It came. Yeah, it's Halle Berry. How many times you brush your teeth, you've got to kiss back. Eighty, eighty three is and breath strips.

You go with it, you get Listerine and.

Yeah. You, you young guys having friends check your pockets come smelly man.

Am I good. Am I good. How do you want to rehearse.

I know you go into a room somewhere online. She's so pretty. I met her recently at the UFC and she's going to be like fifty three or something like that. She looks like she's thirty five years old. She looks perfect. Yeah. She looks like a perfectly in shape. Thirty five year old woman.

I mean how old is she. She's over. She's got to be, she's over dude. She looks amazing. She was in John Wick three. Yeah. She was amazing.

An amazing dog. Yeah. Yeah yeah. He was fifty three.

Just the way she moves. Yeah. The way she moves like she's so fit. So fit. It's incredible. Yeah. And she does a lot of workouts online. She's doing a lot of workouts online. Well just all the shit's going down. Yeah. Yeah.

With some guy with fabulous like long hair, some guru too.

So then we're going to do curls. It's like really it's her partner. Right. That's the weirdest thing. When a guy and a girl together and they say this my partner is my partner. You guys are in business, right.

Oh, are you just fucking like what what is what is a partner? This is my partner.

It's like a man said that to me once. Yeah. I was talking about this. Yeah. I was doing this thing with my partner. My first of all, I think. Are you gay, right. If you're first of all, even if you're gay in 2020, why aren't you saying my boyfriend or my husband. Right. You know, partner, I know as a woman you're talking about a woman, but you're not in business together.

Your partner.

Yeah, I went on vacation with my partner, like. Hmm, yeah. What is that partner?

Yeah. You guys have a firm as a firm. Yeah. As a married man. I'm like, man, I have some courage man. Get in there, get the it's not so easy game with everybody. No, no. You got to live with for a little. Yeah. Figure it out.

When people say I don't want to live with somebody, I just want to get married, I'm like, that's a mistake.

That is where it happens. Yes. That is the happily ever after shit is for the movies, which is real is when you live together and you and his little shit is little shit man. How you squeezed the toothpaste. Right.

I said over time, whether or not you clean up, whether I clean the you toilet teachings then you ask them to do. Yes, yeah. Somebody's keeping score or whatever. Like the cooks who does dishes can cook. Can you load a dishwasher. Do they complain about stupid shit.

Man I feel like we talk about this all day. All day. And then how do you deal with it. Because you ain't going nowhere. Right.

It's like the big one is one bathroom.

Oh if you, if you, if you only have enough money for one bathroom, you shouldn't be in a relationship or you got to really know each other like you spent so many nights together, like so many weekends together, you stay at her place or she stays at your place.

I want that one bathroom.

There's a reality when you walk in the bathroom right after a girl takes a fucking rank shit, you just realize this is real. Yeah.

And if it's cold out, then you got to open up the window and you're like, oh, good Lord.

So you're sitting there smelling her shit. Freezing. Yes.

Trying to take your own shit on top of her shit. Oh that. You're going make it.

You need to make it to bathrooms. Yeah. Yeah it depends farmyards like it depends on the chemistry of the person. Yeah. There's some people that a little thing will set you all.

You like I can't, but then there's another other people that there's you like them so much, that little thing and shit, the same thing, like some dates I'm sure you went on when you were single where a girl just had one little stupid thing like this is over.

Yes, yes, yes. But like, if you really were into her, that same thing.

Now, whatever she's having a rough day now is fucked up. Like she finds it like, man, I'll be nice, do it out day and then be out.

Yeah. Yeah. Mean certain things.

You just you know, for me it was I think people that insult you, people like you. And then they, they try to like put you down and try to fuck with you a little bit man. Yeah.

Just like they're doing it to try to like diminish you in some sort of a weird way like. And they're not even funny. Right. Oh, so you're into.

Oh yeah. But sometimes people grew up like that. Yeah. But their mom and her dad did that to each other and so they, they don't know how to behave. No. In a relationship and that's, that's their definition of love. Yeah.

I was love like to you. Yeah. And if it doesn't match what it looks like to you, you're only going to make it exactly the.

Yeah man. I don't know, I was all over the place with that like I've had. I mean my dated this one girl, she smoked a lot of weed. Right. I didn't mind that but she also smoked cigarettes so I was like damn pick one night and I wish it was just a weed. So I'm a quit when I'm thirty.

I'm twenty seven now. I got a way out so I couldn't like it. Then I thought weird but I was still OK because she was, she was fun.

This is like the closer she was mad fun and then she had like student loan and financial shit on top of it I was like I'm out, OK, but real talk.

She got it together and she got on the other side of thirty and they were friendly now. But I still it was a gamble. Like I got a yeah.

No financial shit that could be that becomes your debt is that they don't tell you that our debt becomes your debt.

She said she was like she was a a a serial degree person like she had like degrees or she was high.

It wasn't like oh so it wasn't like hundreds of thousands.

And I was like, dude, that is the biggest goddamn scam going, because no matter what happens in your life, you have to pay back those student loans. Yeah. If you owe money to any and you can go bankrupt, you know, trying to go bankrupt and you don't have to pay back like your business folds, you can go bankrupt.

Sallie Mae is like a day.

Don't give a fuck. You owe student loans. You're paying thirteen. You got paid.

Do you know there's people today that have Social Security docked for their student loans?

Imagine you're at the end of the game and your Social Security taking your Social Security to pay off some bullshit debt for a loan that didn't do you any good because here you are collecting Social Security broke his fucking right and they take spending on it.

You probably take a good sized chunk. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And you never get paid off. You're just going to die.

And that's going to help you die quicker because you're going to be thinking about it. A good day at the park. Tried to feed the pigeons. That makes a degree.

No. Yeah, man, I paid my shit off. I was so happy and I don't really use it. I kind of use it. What was your degree? I was finance.

So you say finance if you have money.

I was finance doing and and I studied Japanese for like a year. Really?

Yeah, man, I was going to go over there and I'm a director named Christine Swanson. She just directed the Clark Sisters movie that came out on Lifetime, did over like eleven million million views.

Her and her husband, Mike Swanson, they were they were dating at Notre Dame at the time.

They were like, you should take to like they would like sit down and like, look at me and check in with me and just go, you should do this.

And I would do it. So they would like you to take Japanese. And I started taking Japanese and I liked it. I really enjoyed it.

I learned I was getting like these culture classes because I was going to go over there for while. And and I was and I and I I'm an asshole. So I would like mimic the teacher. But I was literally.

But she enjoyed because I was actually saying it natively. So I wasn't being like a a dick because I enjoy like I just notice how she was saying it. No one else was saying it. So I would just say it like her.

So she would be like on Kabbalah, you know, I'll be like, oh my God.

Like I would like lean into it. And I'm like, oh, you know, so just me and you like this guy.

He's actually just like you would just like you said, I do think it was going on these days. You been busy like is just like. And so how well are you good at this.

I got into it because it's also like it's I was just fascinated by why Japanese literacy rate was like so much higher than ours is because their alphabet, they have three alphabets.

And so there's is hiragana katakana incanting and Conti's what everybody gets tatoos off. So I was just fascinated with like the art of it and shit.

And so what's the difference in three alphabets. So katakana is more symbolic like it's like how you speak. So. So I could write your name in. In katakana, I think, hitting on a contact of. Yeah, yeah, I'm rusty, so I could have messed up just now, you guys.

And I'm also Jean-Noel Scott. But what I doing? It was whiskey. But but. But and so one is one is per syllable, so you can take, like American words and write that in Japanese and in a Japanese person, go, oh, that's how they pronounce names. Right. So some of your name is I don't know, D'Artagnan. You could do that in Japanese as an entertainer.

Just go a cat. And they they like that onion.

You know, they would see a night now and then and if but but kanji one kanji could mean several different things.

So you have to know in the context in which you're using it.

And I'm left handed. So I naturally would look at stuff from right to left and that's how they read, oh, this way.

So their books go the opposite way.

And so I was kind of like in my son can't say like the letter L. Right now everything is w some like he's like naturally like he should be learning Chinese, a Japanese. Now I think just because the way he is, his tongue and stuff is forming, he's, he'll be like yabo you know.

And I'm like we will make fun.

You know, kids do that all kids. But I'm like maybe so.

But when I was learning it, I just got really into it because it took like a lot of, like, detail to like figure it out.

And it started sticking with me. And then I started doing comedy in college and I started on the weekends. I would drive to like Des Moines, Iowa, and do a funnybone and come back. And they were like, You still wanna go to Japan?

I was like, no, I know what I would like. I found what I was going to do. So I just didn't I never went. So I kind of that's a trip I've always wanted to take and see how much of it, like, comes back to me because I was I was pretty good at it and I loved it.

And then and then I started learning. Chinese and Chinese is is monosyllable. So like, ni hao ma is a low.

But if you say ni hao ma like that, like I called you a horse but was to say yes. Like it's like. Ni hao, ma, like how you say is like very specific in how you say things.

So one is hello, the other one is same thing.

Myanmar is hello. But Myanmar said that way is Botafogo ni hao ma and like drag it down like kids used to watch.

Ni hao kailin. Yeah, yeah yeah. That's I think that's. Hey. Hello.

Why, why. Ni hao ma instead of just ni hao you could say ni hao and that's the thing you say anyhow. What is the difference in ni hao and Nehama. That's just what I learned in the class.

A more formal. Yeah. And is. Yeah. Good evening. Yes. You learn everything is you learn. That's the only thing I don't like about learning languages in school.

You learn, you, you never learn how you speak, you know, you always learn how you would write a letter and how you would be like, you know, grammatically correct. Right. But so so now like people are doing these things where you just learn what you need to know, because I like humans.

We only we all say like the same twenty pieces of, like, bullshit, you know what I mean? Like, if you can learn that you can probably learn eight languages.

If you could just figure out, you know, we're all getting into is fun with a bitches, you get a drink, you know, but I always where are the bathrooms?

May I see a menu?

What are your pronouns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah. And they that you they them do they have them in Japanese.

I don't remember. It was my goodness. Now I will get reamed because I'm rusty on it. But it was like how would, how would I say this.

They did have it but it was. The honestly, the sentence structure and the way my three year old speaks is the way you would structure a sentence in Japanese. He would say he won't say the subject in the verb.

All the time, sometimes he would put the verb last because he'll be so excited, so he'll put a. a. like a bottle. Great, good. You know, you see it.

And that's kind of like how you would say, I'm like this dude is like in my head. I'm like, that's how you would speak.

So if I was to say something in Japanese, I would say so they would ask, what's my name?

And I would go. Hold on, what is my name in Japanese? It's not I wouldn't know, it's oh is. Oh no, but I'm Tom Smith. It's like you can't say, Oh Smith, you can, but it's like semi Soudas, Mister Destiny. Destiny, Duska. So that's what Duska. Duska makes it a question and is at the end. So you put you put that at the end desk. Ney is a period so you would say so it's like you're saying so it is.

Right.

So I go would you say so if I go. So Disney that means it is good. So Duska, I'm asking is it good. Oh wow. Yes, and it depends on what part of Japan you are, how you lean into the deaths, but your name wouldn't be Smith is Soumises Soumises submission.

Winston Smith? Yes. And so and you were right. Sue me, Sue.

If we did that to them, you know, that's what they would say. They would say Smith, because it's Smith, but it's surmisal how they pronounce it is Sumi, Sumi, Sue, sue me. Susan Smith.

And suicide is spelled Tsou. So it's not I think. I I'm rusty. This was over 20 years ago, so you would have to change the way your name sounds. That's so strange to me. So detonate it will be my name. They would ask me to. Yes.

Make them say, Smith, don't don't give in.

This is how they take over and they take over. Yeah, but I was really making the noise that you make.

That means you it was amazing things. I opened my mind learning Japanese for or studying it for like a year, year and a half.

And in economics, learning economics, how did that help you?

It was because it's like a science and it's like a cause and effect. And so it's the same way I approach my bits. You know what I mean? Was like economy. Like, if this happens, then it affects all this shit and it's all tied to the one thing you can't judge, which is human behavior. Right. So you don't know what people are going to do. And people try to kind of try to control it all the time because it has direct effects on the stock market and how you can make money.

And it's like so like something like the one when the coronaviruses dropped, I was like.

I know this is going to fuck up all these things and then seeing how people react to all these things being taken away fascinates me, you know what I mean? It's like. But that is. That is what economics is, because when you're thinking about stuff, you always go, well, what if a pandemic happened? Well, our system, where are the holes in our current system?

But when people are just being intellectual's about it and just like talking about it is sounds boring. You like.

But when they see this happening in real time like this, this is what economists talk about all the time. It's like it's if this then then what. But it's just a deeper thing. So it's the same kind of way. When you take a bit, you just go, what if I'm talking about this? Anything, you just you just go. Like I was, I'm at home, so I was watching something where, oh, my son loves this cartoon called.

What's the name of this cartoon he watches Blaze?

It sounds like the but blaze in the monster machine and he had like this one episode. This is a giant meatball rolling down the town, destroying the town. And they had this one.

I was clearly like black rollerblading, like monster truck with the afro going, get down, get groovy, get down, get meatball, meatball and then a B borel's over.

My son loves that. Right.

So what I what I do with him is now I pretend that that guy was on the phone with somebody else and I'm like, hey Steve, what are you doing.

I'm just rollerblading down. And then. And then. So now my son doesn't get me ball. Steve No, Steve, get out of there.

So then we pretend that we have to break the news to Steve's family that he got ran over by a giant meatball, which is three, that we pretend that we work with Steve and he's about to go rollerblading for lunch, you know?

I mean, so it's just it's the economy of Steve. We're going go rollerblading, you know, that's kind of play. Nobody does it. You know, it's nice outside.

And then he gets pummeled by the meatball. So it's like everybody who knew Steve. How did he feel about Steve? So that's kind of like what a ripple effect. It's the ripple effects and that and that's kind of like how I would I would think a bit in my head sometimes.

And then are you paying attention to how economists are looking at the future sometimes? Like right now, like with me, I don't even I haven't read any prognostications other than it's bad.

It could be a Great Depression.

Yeah, all the all of that is true. I mean, well, when I get lost is when they just start talking about, like injecting money and fixing things, you know, with money. I'm not I'm not. I'm lost. And that I'm more I'm more into like the personal like what happens to us like like how do we I'm fascinated with that shit. Like the human nature of was, you know, going to happen. Like, how are things going to change on the other side of this.

Right. Right. Well, you won't shake hands.

Are you going to be you know you know how many people are going to keep wearing masks, keep their masks. And then like I was I had a a classic like racial thing happened to me yesterday.

I was with my son, three years old, and it's this guy was working out with his shirt off in the park. This is big guy look kind of like ridiculous.

And my mom, like you said, waits. Yeah. Yeah. He had two dumbbells, no shirt on. He's just in the park, in the park, just doing these dumb workouts. And me and my son see him. But my son is he knows about the social history, man. He's on a little scooter. I'm on my bike to keep up with him because he's fast as hell. And then when we were coming back, I'm walking my bike and my son has his scooter.

And we see there's like he's BMW or Audi. We see the lights go on and I don't think anything of it. And I look and it's the guy and he's like doing it. Like, right in front of us, like, you know what I mean? So it's classic, like you think I'm a break into his car with my son or.

Like you had all day to lock your car, man, like you could have just done it when you didn't see us and so, like a part of me was like, wow, he was like doing it so he could so I could see he was doing, you know, I'm trying to say, like, I'm walking and he's like like literally like locking his door.

And to me it felt like because I had on a mask, I had on a mask. And I was reading stories about how most black folks are afraid to wear masks because we look like, yo.

So part of me was like, I scared this motherfucker.

That's cool.

But what a partner is like where my son, like I was I do. I engage with him, but I let it go, like, what do you do.

And I let it go because I was with my son and it just felt, it just felt ridiculous. I was like, but I feel like we're reverting back to like those paranoid things to like, oh, man, black dude in the mask, you know, like my thing.

And it was like I was like, what point would I prove in in I'm not going to change them, you know, what? What do I do? So I just my son didn't even see it. I would not have seen it if he wasn't.

So just like clumsy and odd with it. Like it just felt like. Because we had passed him several times, you could tell he could have locked his car when we were gone, you know, just done it and just kept moving, but it was like it was like he was like letting you know.

Yeah, yeah. That's what it felt like to me. I think people are losing their minds. I think so.

I think that's a lot of what's happened. Yeah. Yeah. Their behavior patterns are all off because they're so under duress and stress. You know, there's a lot of people that are acting real strange sometimes, you know, I'll call people up, just say hi. Yeah. You know, how are you doing? You hanging in there? And there's a lot of people just seem real weirded out, you know, when it gets me man that night your.

Yeah. Gets me at night. Yeah.

Because it during the day I'm like, everything's fucked up. But, you know, we're maintaining I have faith in human nature. I have faith in society that we'll pull together. But at nighttime I'm of any fucking faith possibly not performing either.

Man, does that have any. Definitely that.

But it's also at night there's something about the darkness where I'm like I just you know, I do a lot of my really fucked up thing when everyone else in my house is asleep.

Yeah. You know, I can relate. That's when I that's when I spark up.

That's when I write. My best shit was when everyone's asleep. So when everyone's asleep, I'm sitting around thinking like, man, what if this keeps going sideways? What if we get a solar flare? What if the grid goes down? What if the earthquake hits?

What if the fucking volcano under Yellowstone blows? What if this what if an asteroid hits? What if a worst disease catches on? What if there's a war between us and China over this bullshit? There was a crazy letter that Germany wrote to China yesterday. Crazy.

The head of Germany wrote some letter directly to the head guy in China talking about the only reason why you're in power is because of surveillance. And what have you done to the world like you? Well, you guys have done because you because of your disgusting pride and you've you've hidden the facts from people.

You've tried to distort the reality. And because of that, hundreds of thousands of people are going to die.

It was it was deep. I was reading this letter like, you never read a letter like that where a one world leader is shitting on another world leader is the editor of a newspaper.

It says, was it? Oh, it wasn't. Wasn't there a head guy in the. Oh, the head guy in Germany is a woman, right? Angela Merkel. Right. Who is it?

Editor of a prominent German newspaper. Oh, two.

Oh. Well, whoever the person is, or I or I could say it again, right when I come out of here. Yeah, OK.

Yeah, but whatever the articles, it's right, it's correct. You know, because they. China never they don't admit any fault ever, whenever anything goes wrong, they cover everything up. And there's so many people that criticize the government in China, they just wind up getting ghosted.

They just disappear. They've vanished. Yeah. They never hear from them again. No one knows what to do. I mean, that's that's how they run things over there.

What scares me is that if we give in to that kind of like they have apps on their phone right now that give them a social score, you know, so like if you jaywalk, you lose points.

Oh, yeah, I've heard about that. Oh, yeah. And the guy. Yeah, some guy said his social scores would be bad and people it's almost like Minority Report.

It's almost like a black mirror. Yeah. Yeah, like that. It's it's scary.

And if we give in to that kind of surveillance over here. Right, there's a real dark end.

All that stuff is a real dark in the bright side is like, oh well maybe everybody keep their shit together and be nice for maybe the government will be watching every goddamn thing you do all day long and hold that over you. And then they'll use that in order to gain more political power. That's just as possible.

And more likely of that of your social score is like manipulated or wrong. The downside is a lack of freedom.

And that's the whole reason why the United States is so innovative. The whole reason is this. This we have this spirit over here, the spirit of freedom, you know, that we can do more we can get more shit done.

We can we can come up with ideas. Yeah. We celebrate this sort of creative sort of creative spirit that we think of when we think of the United States.

We think of freedom. We think of creativity. There's so much innovation done over here. The moment you start clamping down on people and taking away freedom, you're also going to take away that creativity. You're also going to take away that innovative thought mentality.

You're going to make people scared and you're going to do it just so that you can control them. And it's fucked.

It's the worst.

One of the one of the things about the United States that makes it so great is that we have the ability to criticize our government. We have the ability to talk shit, and that keeps people in check.

Even Trump like even Trump, like as much as he hates it.

He has toned down a lot of his rhetoric because of the criticism that he's faced.

You know, and that's it's important.

It's very important. Yeah.

I mean, he has to that's one thing this virus is making everybody have to do their job, like you realize, like a lot of his people were like acting in positions like they weren't really if you were truly vested, if you're acting in it, but like it's making everyone have to actually do their job.

I wonder if he would do it again all over again, if he knew how hard it would be and how much he would get shit on.

I you know, I don't know. I think it was so funny when he presented to me was like. It was like like the hot new nightclub, you know what I mean? And like everybody was in there. You know what it's like? Like a nightclub. And you could pretend to be who who you want to be. And you could just, you know what I mean? And the watered down expensive drinks. And it just all happened.

And then the coronavirus comes and that's like when the lights come on in the club and you get to see. You know how fucked up she really is and and so was when the whole country just kind of like said, I don't go with Joe Biden, regardless of how lucid you feel he is or how sharp you think he is when the whole country was like, we don't know, Joe, you just let me think. Like Trump is like a fancy a nice resort like hotel.

Who does want to stay in a nice hotel? Right. He's like, I'm rich, honest. And everyone's like, I want to do that. But after a while, you get tired of spending twenty one dollars for Internet and forty dollars for pancakes and you just want to go home. And Joe was kind of it felt like he represents home, you know what I mean.

Like really I feel like people Joe Biden to me feels like a schoolhouse in a third world country that's going to collapse and kill all the kids.

It's like a schoolhouse that is made by people who skirted all the rules of how of construction guys are old dude with dementia.

But I think he's going to be propped up by so many different people who are going to vote like President Obama is going to come out and endorse him.

And if President Obama wants to come out and take over, OK, but if he doesn't, you got Joe Biden, who's the leader of the country who can't form sentences. Listen, man, there's 320 million people in this country. You tell me that's the best the Democratic Party can do. That's crazy.

Well, that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I feel like to everyone he was he represented home. That's what I'm saying, because he's familiar. He was standing next to the guy that we all felt more comfortable with, especially in situations like this.

Did you see Obama's endorsement video? I didn't. Is straight up gaslighting.

It's just gas. Let me say. Pretend that you can find it. I don't know if we could play it long or is it long enough? Like he's he doesn't believe a goddamn word he said. He has to say, look, he knows Biden is doomed. He knows he's doomed.

So you think he's going to lose? It's not a matter of whether or not I think he's going to lose. I do think he's going to lose. But even if I thought he was going to win, he shouldn't do the job. He there's no way he can take the pressure of that position with the cognitive decline that he's already showing.

But there's no buts. You just want the Democratic Party to be back in control. I get it.

No, no. I was an innocent man. I wish. Like I say, man, like when you're in when you're in a nightclub, you don't care, that stuff's going down, right? Right. But when you come out, I don't understand this nightclub analogy. Damn.

Trying to give you an example to me, just the way that Trump is handling any kind of criticism, anything is unsettling. It's like, dude, just calm down, man. Like you got the gig. You're right. You're in charge. It's kind of like I was talking to Keith Rom's and he had this amazing point. I don't know. It just made me laugh. He said there should be some type of test you have to pass to become president because for any other thing, you have to take a test.

So you have to have degrees or whatever.

But to be in charge of everybody else, you don't just win a popularity, a popularity contest and you're in charge and you control the nukes, everything.

And it's like a backwards thing. And so that guy who is in charge of everybody else.

Is just it's like, man, I just wish he didn't cause so much, just wasn't the way he he was, you know, I mean, I wish he could just take this thing exactly who he's always been.

That's my point. And he hasn't changed at all once he got into office and people did expect him to.

Yeah, he's always been the guy that if anybody says anything about him, he talks bad shit about that person was never like Rosie O'Donnell or whoever it is that he's been in feuds with.

Right. He's never lied to you in the way.

And so it's like you respect all of that.

But it's just like in times like this when it requires some empathy and it requires you to look into the camera and say, I feel for the people that are dying, not give me credit.

They I don't do the give me credit stuff. Now, it's easy credit stuff is ridiculous. I come on.

And so I feel like so what I'm saying is I feel like having Joe come up there and play those notes, it feels like people everyone just all of a sudden overnight goes, Joe Biden is our guy.

It felt like everyone was like, I just want to I think it's like when Mariah Carey was on pills and she couldn't sing the national anthem because she forgot the words to the same fucking way. Man, this I can't be president. He can't talk. He can't hold a sentence.

You give him a couple minutes on CNN and he can't keep it together. But what is he going to be like after a year in office dealing with international politics, the economy, the environment, all these different things?

But what I'm saying is he's going to have people. So did Obama. But look how old he got, how quickly. Obama's brilliant. Obama's a brilliant, articulate guy. Yeah. He started getting gray hair. His skin started sagging because he was actually reading the memos. Well, this is crazy, right? That's my point. My man show up as an age. Biden starts reading those things. He'll be dead in a week. And then who's going to be the vice president?

Elizabeth Warren.

Who are they going to put in there? No, they're probably I don't know who they're going to pick as like they said, he wants to pick a woman of color.

So maybe a woman of color for Supreme Court. Oh, somebody said I said for vice president, he should.

He should should or should he pick the best person he should pick the best person who will probably be a woman of color.

Why would it be a woman of color, though? The most would it be because they're underrepresented and it would be a good thing for the country, or would it be a good thing for the country because it's the best person for the job? Both the best person for the best person for the job. I feel could be a woman of color in anyone's country, could also be a woman of color. It could be because. A lot of policies kind of stop.

Before consulting with people of color and a woman of color can see. Hey, what are we leaving on this group, let's figure this out, but what if it's a male of color? Who's better qualified for the job? I don't, but that's my point.

What is what are the qualifications for this job is what I just said. There's no test you have to take is just a popularity contest. Well, if that's the case and the reason why a woman of color would be. Would be what?

Why would you want a woman of color?

I think everyone would just feel better if it was a woman of color in charge.

I, I, I feel like. What did Chelsea Handler say when she did her whole thing?

Remember, she just she just did a whole thing about something on Netflix. And she was like when she went on Ellen and said, we need to start listening to women of color. Like it was like, yeah, you probably should, I think. I'm not the right person to be talking about this, but I feel like, you know, they say Stacey Abrams is in the running and I don't think she'd be a bad choice. But I've I've watched how she just puts things in context and she is very smart, very sharp.

And she. Is not thrown like she would be extremely qualified. Well, I'll tell you who could actually be president, who? Michelle Obama. She's not going to do it. She's not going to do it.

No, but if she wanted to do it, she could be president. Why do you think she could do it? First of all, she's brilliant.

She's articulate, she's well known. She's she's a powerful person.

Like, she speaks really well. She obviously was for four rather two terms. She was the first lady. So she's accustomed to the public eye. She's accustomed to speaking publicly. Right. Dude, if she stepped up and decided she would run for president, I think she'd win by a landslide because Hillary Clinton maybe not beat Trump, I should say.

But when the Democratic nominee by a landslide, I really think. You think she would lose as well, though?

I don't know. I don't know how it works. It's complicated, right? Especially when you're dealing with Electoral College, like, look, Trump lost the popular vote, but he won the Electoral College vote.

And that's why they say Joe Biden was the best bet because Joe Biden. So Pennsylvania, it was is a swing state. And Joe Biden is the only person out of the Democratic nominees who did not say he was against fracking.

He was like, well, you can't you can't be ignored. You can't you can't do it all at once. And then they had they had the clip of the fracking protest and he's like, go vote for somebody else, man. Like, I was like, go vote for somebody else. And so Trump, they were saying that Trump does not feel like he could beat Joe in Pennsylvania because that's what Joe's was from. And he also supports he has been with, you know, the coal miners in the fracking industry, just like, you know, Trump.

So when it comes to those Electoral College votes, Trump doesn't know knows he can't beat him. That's why. Hence, the whole Ukrainian get some dirt on him. Just announced something's happening type thing. That was kind of like the narrative of that. And so when it comes to electorial votes, that whole Midwest game, that whole Michigan, Michigan, Biden is right there. And that's what I'm saying.

Like people is manono know. I don't know what what's going to happen once people start hearing him talk on the campaign trail.

But I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know how brilliant articulate Trump is. Like, I don't know. I think I think everyone I think is brilliant.

It's a matter of being able to control crowds and have these exciting rallies. He does arenas, dude.

He just sold out arenas and he kills. I know that. Listen, I'm not this is not looking. I'm just looking at it objectively.

I know you want a Democrat to win. Right. And you want a woman of color to be the vice president. You want to win.

I would love that. I would love for I'm not saying I would love for things to feel. Like there, I want to say back to normal, but I would just love to feel like. When the president, not the way they are right now, that is not like those horrible question. Yeah, like that's a nasty question. Christian, you should just like come on, man. Yeah, it's it's bad in those ways.

But what I'm talking about is his ability to excite his base and the ability to get people behind him.

He's an unprecedented ability. And depending upon how he handles this coronavirus crisis, it could swing left or right. It really depends entirely upon who Biden picks, because you remember when George W. was president, it really was like President Dick Cheney, right? Dick Cheney was in that fucking vampire underground bunker. Yeah, well, getting fresh blood pumped into him every day and calling all the shots.

Do you remember there was one point in time where Cheney was consistently in the bunker. He was in the bunker for like weeks at a time. They were saying he's even told us he was in a bunker. But just in case anything happens, like why isn't Bush in a fucking bunker? He's the president. Dick Cheney was out there calling the shots.

I mean, it was one of the most transparent times when you see the connection between industry and government, where you have a guy who was the former CEO of Halliburton, a company that rebuilds countries after we blow them up, getting no bid contracts to rebuild a country that we blew up while he's making the decisions to blow up these countries.

Yeah, it's crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. And like, you couldn't stop it. Right.

But if someone comes along and some powerful speaker, someone who you really I mean, there's there's several choices, apparently. And if they pick someone and I'm sure they're Gruman someone right now who you get excited about, you go, OK, this person this person could step up if if Biden lost or if Biden lost it right. Or Biden died, which is also possible.

So there's a there's a photo of him that was on The New York Times yesterday where you could see, like where they gave him the fucking the face they got is like he's he's talking and he's like skin is unnaturally pulled up and back.

And it's like, oh, Christ, man. Maybe 20 years ago, maybe 20 years ago, but not now. This is crazy, man.

I don't know. It was like when he was talking about all the stuff he would have done if this crossed his desk, like, you know, and just just just just having an awareness of how the government works.

Well, what will the what was it? The pandemic agency was closed down. And what I love about, you know, he was on he was like, you know, I thought it was going to happen.

Like, he literally is true. He just said it was like get rid of them.

But then there's like all types of protocols and you find out where the money is for this. Like Joe had it a just a knowledge of where all that stuff was. And I feel like Trump talks to his lawyers, like, what can I do? I'm sure what can I do?

We're going to do. And he just goes, you know, then he takes his stance based on what he is known. He's no, he's going to be protected legally. Right. And he doesn't equate that he's president of all of us, you know what I mean? So I just feel like that's what's missing and he is incapable of doing it. I know when I had the mic and pants was getting popular at Trump and he's like, let me come and do this.

How does that guy get popular? How does first of all, you want to talk about a vice? I don't know what that guy's voice sounds like.

Well, people were just happy to hear somebody not yelling back if he was like, we're going to have that by the end of the week. Did you ever see there's a woman who has one of them pink pussy hats on? And there's there's a bunch of people that are yelling, Impeach Trump, impeach Trump. And she's run like President Panzarella.

Yeah, yeah. No, I was like, yeah, if Trump gets impeached and becomes president. Yeah. Oh, she's like, yeah, maybe we should not impeach him. And they're like, yeah, maybe.

Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. It's so it's become so emotional. Right. And I feel like Trump's a business man.

So he, he's not approaching this any emotion it fucks with people because they like yo you know.

Well the good thing that he did was block travel from China. That's a good thing. That probably saved thousands of lives. Really did. A lot of people are saying you're crazy for doing that.

But there's also there's so many fucking people that are also saying that he actually didn't they were saying that people were still coming from China. So what do you mean you actually didn't? I don't know. I just heard. That's what I'm saying. I was saying conflicting. No, they definitely block block travel. Yeah. But they were saying people were still coming.

Well, maybe some people had loopholes because of diplomatic reasons or. Right. Business reasons or whatever, but they did. Look, man, there was a video that Eddie Bravo had on his page of Nancy Pelosi in February telling people to go out and go to Chinatown. There's no worries. Just go out and mingle. And then they confronted her.

Chris Wallace confronted her on Fox News and she was just bullshitting her way out of this while she was blaming the president. Look, everybody got this wrong.

Everybody got it wrong. Yeah, everybody did. 430000 people have traveled from China to U.S. since the coronavirus surfaced, but went. But but the coronavirus surfaced.

And this is just a. I think this is just an article about what? Yeah, I understand the article's recent, but this is an article about when the coronavirus surfaced, which was in January, that's just letting people know how many surfaced here, made it over to America.

But that's not how many people came to America. This is since Chinese officials disclosed the outbreak on New Year's Eve, two months after President Suharto's restrictions, 40000 40000 since the president's imposed restrictions.

So what kind of restrictions were those? The bulk of the travelers who were of multiple nationalities arrived in January at airports in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Newark and Detroit, all places fucked by coronavirus babies.

I was like, what are you talking about right now? They flew directly from Rouhani.

Have you seen all the shit that points to the fact that this came from a lab? Well, yeah.

You know what's so funny? I was talking to I can't say anything, but they were like, this is a chemical thing that just got out of hand. They were like, they fucked up.

Well, they were working on how to mitigate viruses. That's what they were doing. They're working. And they had viruses in this lab in Wuhan and they think it came out.

And that's one of the reasons why they think China immediately blames it on the Web market. They said whenever China blames it on something, always look deeper.

There are a ton there's a ton of of scientists that are pointing to that.

There's one French virologist, Jamie, I'll send you this. There's a French virologist who identified HIV in. This French virologist was looking at this disease and it was like, this is not a disease that came from nature. No, this is a disease. It came from a lab. Did you see that?

That Facebook video with this some series on Netflix? What is it is a series on Netflix that takes place in China that like two or three years ago, they called the coronavirus and they like played the thing. Really?

Yeah, it was like episode 13, season three or something like that of this show, Jesus Christ.

Then they knew this stuff was happening.

Well, people knew that it was always a possibility. I can't believe I'm on this text thread, but it's here now. And it's just like the reset of like, oh, that's another thing that's interesting. Like what is doing to our TV industry. Like, it feels like everything has become YouTube, you know?

I mean, like, oh, I know everyone everybody is like trying to do you right now.

Everybody is doing their thing is they're trying to do it, but they're not adapting.

Right. They're not adapting to the fact, you know, audiences are doing these wack ass monologues. You know who's doing it. Well, who. Bill Maher. Yeah.

Bill Maher audience and having fun with it. He's having a great time. He's also he has here a French virologist. I'll send you this right now. Jimmy, hold on a second.

Bill Maher has some great fucking rants.

I mean, these are I've tweeted twice to him that where I said Bravo.

Yes. Are you playing it? It's on my phone. Oh, where's that sound coming from? I just sent it to you. Yeah, his fucking shit has been great. Yeah, hilarious. And also, you know, he's he's pushing all the buttons. You know, he's he's doing comedy. He's doing, like, real edgy comedy while he's pointing out how crazy this all is.

I appreciate him right now.

He's a guy who's on the left that I really I really like the fact that he doesn't give in to all the craziness.

He doesn't give in to the lunacy of of left wing policies.

He's still he's still, like, rational about it all, although clearly left wing biased. He's still rational. Yeah. But and still goes with comedy. But it was one.

Yeah. I watch. I don't know man. I like him a lot and I watch like a bus coming.

I watch snow because I watch some of his stuff and I feel like it's two things.

He's had me on the show basically because he's always he would have you on a show. He's always talking about kids, you know what the fuck you're talking about.

And he's always talking about.

But but I love I love how he attacks it like he knows what it's like to use it as not it, or he'll be talking about he did this whole rant about why can't we call it the China disease and stuff?

And I was listening to. A Chinese American on. On The Daily Show, talking about her experience of feeling like being an Asian-American, he was always like a probationary experience as long as I did the right things and stayed out the way people left me alone.

But when this came up, just her going outside, people like you fucking Chinese, you know, in and it's kind of like so to me, I love watching them because it's because it's also these blind spots that he just.

His whole rant was really about stop these wet markets. You can do it. He didn't have to do the well, here's the thing out of it. Just when they called it the Chinese virus, they don't call anything a virus based on the country. They would call it the human virus. Yeah, that's like they call Lyme disease Lyme disease. That was one of the examples that I used or like, you know, SARS or Murse or some Middle Eastern respiratory.

You did make that point. He didn't say call it the one. Right. He should he should have said. And that's what I'm saying. The problem is that the problem is that he's trying to do comedy and he's trying to make a point at the same time.

And it really the right way would be called the horn. Yes. If they call. But when they called it covid-19, then it becomes the whole world's problems. That's one of the difference between what that journalist in Germany was saying to the head of China.

You know, he was saying that and then the Chinese guy was saying, hey, this is the whole world's problem, this whole world's pandemic.

But, yeah, kinda. But it did come from a fucking if it did if it did come from a lab, you know. Right. We should call it the lab created human virus.

There you go. But it's. Here it is. Inaccurately claims the novel coronavirus is man made. It contains genetic material from HIV.

OK, so this guy is Nobel laureate Luc Montagnier.

Do you speak French and not and get there. So how do we know that this guy is correct?

Says genomic analysis. Can you make that a little better? It says indicates the virus has a natural origin. It was not engineered. The so-called unique protein sequence insertions found the 2090 coronavirus can be found in many other organisms, not just HIV. But that doesn't mean it's organic or natural in origin.

C I think that we are right now in this period of conflicting information and you're going to get it bouncing back and forth from production. But I've read multiple sources that seem and from respected scientists to seem to indicate that there's a distinct possibility that came from that lab.

One of the things they're saying is the actual bats that they sequenced the genome when they when they when they found the genetics for this virus, the bats that tested, you know, that were where this originated from were the same.

They're from the same exact location as the bats that they do research on in this lab. And the lab is four miles away. I mean, it's not it's not outside the realm of possibility.

And we're in the wheelhouse right there. Yeah, well, obviously, I'm a moron. I don't know shit about viruses other than what I read.

But when China says, oh, definitely a wet market, nothing to see here. Sorry. Great point. Look deeper.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe it was a wet market. Maybe it wasn't a wet market, my friend.

Right. Yeah, well the wet markets are fucking gross, you know.

It is. But that's also a sad thing about you trying to feed a billion people and you're feeding them wildlife. You know, a lot of what they're eating is wildlife. They're equivalent to like squirrels and. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Just they're eating whatever they they can eat, you know, pigeons were brought over.

Here is food from we're from other countries, from Europe, I believe, you know, palm trees.

Boromir Yes. No, they're not native at all. The California crazy L.A. is palm trees like cub Swanson.

He's got fights in the UFC. He's got Sokal tattooed on stomach with two palm trees like besos.

I hope it's like it's almost it's like once, you know, stuff, you can't unknow it.

And it's like sometimes I know that's a weird one.

Palm trees are a weird one because you like what? How many do they bring over here? Yeah, they steal all the palm trees. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a that's a weird thing. Yeah. They normally in climates with hurricanes and shit because they could withstand, they withstand the fucka some wind.

Right. What was the last time you saw a palm tree. The fellow snap.

Right motherfucker. Yeah that was. Take it. They just take it. Yeah. Wind. Yeah. Yeah. Worried about wind at all.

No. How crazy is that. That a plant evolved to be able to handle the winds. Right.

Right. And so my brain is working like, you know, the palm trees that couldn't stand that you know, they're telling hey man, you better. The winds are coming too. I love Hawaii.

I love how Hawaii is like, fuck you. No one's coming here, man. Stay out. They stay out. We got some beautiful islands. We're just going to sit tight and eat fish for a couple of weeks.

Yeah, yeah. Go find a Applebee's in Hawaii. Yeah. No fucking Fridays. None of that.

I proposed to my wife in Maui.

Did you really best one of the best times of my life. I love it there. I love it.

I go to Hawaii every year to bohunk. Oh yeah. Lana'i.

Yeah, yeah. One tenth of my meat that I eat is from a year comes from Hawaii.

I don't know. It's crazy.

I will say to anybody listening if you, if you're not married yet, keep a nice file of photographs of before you have kids because I sent my wife a picture of us in Hawaii and like made her she was like, oh, when we were people, when we were people.

But everybody feels like the. Know like everybody's like a prisoner. Yeah, yeah, so you see how Ellen got in trouble for saying that. What did she say?

She's actually a hilarious joke. She goes, I feel like I'm in prison. She goes, I've been wearing the same clothes for ten days and everyone's gay.

Yeah, that's a funny joke. But then people like Ellen needs to be educated about the realities of prison, like. Yeah, but also it's just a joke, OK?

You can't jokes can't coexist with the need to be factual at every turn. They can't it. This is not going to. Yes, you're right.

You're right.

She should be sensitive about. But how do you know that she's not also sensitive about incarceration. And look, incarceration is fucked up. It's fucked up. And I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that it's not going to rehabilitate anybody.

I mean, if you get rehabilitated while you're in prison, all the people that I know that have been in prison, they say that's up to you. You know, they'll offer you classes, but you're dealing with so much chaos while you're in there and so much so much danger and so much so much fucked up shit. Like if you get rehabilitated because that you're a strong motherfucker.

Yeah. You're a strong motherfucker. But there's people that like one of my favorite examples is Bernard Hopkins, Bernard Hopkins, who was one of the greatest boxers of all time and also one of the ones who had the longest career of all time.

I mean, at least world class level was beaten world class fighters deep into his forties. Yeah. Fought his last fight, I think it was fifty one.

Bernard Hopkins did a stint in jail. And when he came out, one of the things that the one of the guys in the jail, one of the guards said, you'll be back and he's like, the fuck I will.

And his discipline was legendary, you know, because he never wanted to be back. The executioner. Yes.

So a friend of mine, Dan and Green, he did a documentary about this, a group of guys in Philly called The Executioners. And it's fascinating documentary.

And he I think he either took the name or adopted it or whatever. Bernard Hopkins from them. Yeah. It was a bunch of cats from, you know, troubled area. But they found boxing and started having success as the executioners.

They would wear the mask in the ring and all of that. And no shirt. No, I'd kind of like adopted and.

Well, you know, he abandoned it later on his career because people were trying to figure out why he's so good this late in life. So he became the alien. Yeah.

So it's been alien on Instagram because like people like how the fuck are you?

Beat the shit out of everybody when you're late for. Yes, yeah.

He's like I'm an alien who decided, like he was just super technical and disciplined and never, never did dumb things inside the ring, just did everything technically and always erred on the side of defense. He was his defense was impeccable.

That's how I live life off stage. Bernard Hopkins style. Yeah.

Well, you know, a great example that is like the difference between Roy Jones Jerins Prime, who I think is one of the greatest of all time, if not the greatest. Roy Jones Jr. in his prime was fucking untouchable.

And but then when Roy got a little older and a little slower, Bernadin him thought twice. They fought once and Roy beat him by decision and they fought later on when Bernard was actually older than Roy. And Bernard beat Roy by decision pretty decisively because Bernard's fundamentals and his technical ability was rock solid.

Whereas Roy never say, never threw a jab, rarely threw a jab, would leap in with a left. Yeah, because his left hook was so preposterous. Like he could get away with crazy shit, hands down, moving away.

He's the only fighter on record for Compi box that an entire round of a championship fight without having one punch landed on him.

Democrazy that is Woa against a world champion against Vinny Pazienza. They fought an entire round were Pazienza didn't land one punch.

OK, I would quit. I would if I was Vinny, he would never quit.

Vinny Pazienza would never fucking cook. You would die before he would quit and he almost did. Roy beat the fuck out of him. And when Roy was stopping and Roy dropped him, was beating his ass and looked at the referee, he was like, please stop fight. Right. And the referee was like, keep fighting is like, OK. And he went Big Bang and then put him away. But he's like, I didn't have to do that.

Right.

I keep letting him know, like, this fight is over.

Man fights over stop this guy punch man. Not get the name out one one. I live in Chicago. That used to be a spot on the north side where on Thursday nights they would put a boxing ring on the entire the floor. Right.

And when you walk in, if you have beef with somebody, you can sign up and you and you would go and it was all these like thugs and these gang dudes and whatever, try to find you with seeing how out of shape people were, like in real time, like in the ring. And then they would. Always ended with a professional or like an amateur professional, and you could you can try to fight them if you want, and that's when you would see the importance of fucking technique because you would have all these these dudes who looked like they could put in work.

But, man, I do. Would just stand and just jab. Jab like what? It was so solid. He would never get tired and just be mocking these dudes.

And you would all you would stand on a second. And if what happens is people start fighting really hard for like the first 30 seconds and they get winded and don't throw punches. So you could throw lemons at them.

And so you talking all that shit. And it was like the funniest Thursday night. We would do it every Thursday and go. And that's when that's when I first started getting into shit. Technique is everything like that professional would just step up there and just like not be phased. And I'm talking about on the street, if you saw any of these guys, you would be like, I fucking what do I do? Right.

But he knew after 45 seconds they can't. It's rap. They going to be winded.

They're going to be tired. And then the next it was amazing to watch. So when you talk about that guy didn't land a punch in a god and he's a world champion.

I mean, he's in a boxer and brainwork Roy Jones Jr. was Roy Jones Jr. when he was at his best was people forget and they get yeah, there was a Nas song with the new Mike Tyson's Roy Jones.

Yeah. And people forget there was a time and Roy had a song about it.

It's called Y'all Must Have Forgot to Forget.

You know what's crazy is that I was just thinking about that in terms of like our business, like because my wife and I, we were trying to recall an old TV show and we couldn't really figure out the details of it.

But being in like Writers' rooms and said, you know, how much people pine over certain things and arguments happen and all this, it just trying to get a show on the air.

And then 20 years later, the name, like no one remembers, like what is so important to us today, you know?

And it is like. It's like they got this Jordan doc coming back on again, so people are like, oh, shoot, Jordan was this is a new Jordan documentary, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

He had followed them for Jordan, said you're not going to like me after this. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't give a fuck. He's like, that's who I was.

That's how you win. That's how you win six. Yeah. Well, I've always said that, like greatness, a man is our next door neighbors. Yeah, and they borrow each other's sugar.

That's what I that's my not saying put that on a T-shirt, but that's that's true. Every great person I've ever met is mad.

They're mad because in order to get to that place further than anybody goes, you've got to be out of your fucking mind and you have to have a drive inside you that's different. You've got to be able to sacrifice relationships and public perception and and even your own well-being.

Yes, there's people that get to those points. Those people are just they're not. And maybe it's not a good idea to get to those points because you only live in those points for ten years. Right. And then after that, you got to live with yourself. Yes. And it's hard for a lot of people to heal. You know, who's healed my time.

Yes. I love him, love him. Love.

You know how he's healed marijuana. Seriously? Yeah. You want to smoke some Mike Tyson weed right now and hold on, you bullshit.

Oh, my God. My sweetheart, me and my kids are going to be like, daddy, why are you so happy that daddy is.

Mike Tyson. Yes, I do. It is amazing. So give us that call gold box over there, if you could see it in the corner.

Oh yeah, we both got our own joint. Thank you. Otherwise, we would share a beer joint.

You know, you tested positive. It seems like a bad I tested negative. I mean, excuse me. I mean, in a good way. Positive. Sorry. You tested tested negative. I'm sorry. I meant like she's like.

I mean.

I mean, even though you're good, it seems like in pure form to share a joint is nice.

Mm hmm. Pam smells good. Yes, we're. Later what happened is later, Jamie, you've been here firing up joints from behind my back. Thank you, sir.

Mm hmm. But Mike Tyson was in his prime. The ultimate destroyer and the ultimate guy who was completely focused only on greatness.

But then after a while, you know, after his you know, his career was over and he had to settle in and realize who was. Now, he doesn't even like working out. What he said to me was that he goes, I don't I don't want to feed my ego.

He goes off. I start working out again. I'll start feeding my ego self awareness like a motherfucker.

Like that's why I don't have a six pack room.

I don't don't give up your joke, but that joke that you do is brilliant. It's one of my favorite jokes. Thank you, man. Yeah.

Man on that six back joke is genius, man. I think I will release that shit. We got to do something.

Oh. And we got to let people know. Yeah. I mean, I've been telling people as much as I can. You're one of the best comics alive. That's a fact. Thank you, man.

I got to tell you, man, notebook's came out really good, so I work my ass off. When I said you'd have been laughing, I mean, I did stop motion photography. So like the graphics, when you see I want to do like this paper crumpling and uncompelling to show, like, you know, names and all that stuff. So I want my kids and my first sleep. I set up stop motion photography and crumpled paper. Oh, wow.

You did it all yourself.

I myself put it in and then I had a hell of a direct hell of an editor, Matt Sylvaine, being sent out to my man.

Matt, what do you use in to set all that up?

I have a tripod that leans on because I've always I like I like cooking. And I was going to do like food videos.

But for my family to show them, like, shit that I'm making, I don't want to be on the Internet doing it. I just feel like.

But but I do want to. So when I make stuff for people, sometimes they go, how did you do that?

What do you make? So I would challenge them.

I would send him pictures and people kind of would be so. Yeah, that's right. He cooks a lot to cooks a lot to what kind of food you cook.

I would do so I would do I went on this whole, this whole like I would make it, I would make my smoothies are incredible. I would make my own almond milk and all that shit and people. How do you how are you doing it.

So I would do that and then I would make like my breakfast foods are crazy, like my wife loves like I put that together. I make it from scratch because I'm up from scratch. Like, what kind of waffles? Pancakes from scratch.

Yeah, I could I could tell you what goes in and right now, like looking at a thing and be like, OK, you need, you know, saying, like I said, a.

Whatever, man, whatever and, you know, whatever it is, but it all but I'm big on plating and making it look good, is it?

So you're like a chef in disguise, chef. And have you ever cooked any wild game?

Man. No, I don't. You got. But I just got to see it once and then I'll get so many ideas because I guarantee you I could take a recipe that you love and just even like, heighten it even like, damn, I think of it that way.

OK, I love doing it.

And so I was going to do something. I was like my wife would take a picture and take a picture and like send it to my mom. So my mom is like competitive.

How do you do that? Did you put the thing on the thing? And I get it from from them. They're like they're foodies. Before it was foodies like Sissy could bite a piece of dessert and be like they didn't use cinnamon.

Like she like she can taste it. And I would watch I grew up watching this, so I like doing it. So so basically I bought a tripod, but I was able to use that for the stop motion photography. So I did that for all the the lower third titles and all of that stuff.

And I had to realize that cooking is an art. I had to change my perceptions. And I didn't realize that I had a misconceived idea, misperception. I didn't understand that until I watched Anthony Bourdain s TV show, the first one, No Reservations.

And when I watched that show and his enthusiasm and passion for four great chefs and great cuisine, and I think a lot of it also was like that he was enthusiastic about other people's work.

Yeah.

And then I was realizing like this, OK, this guy is not just a chef himself or she was, but also like a fan of the art form.

And so all the great masters, like he would go to their places all over the world and film with them and eat with them and cook with them and drink with them.

And then I realized, like, oh, this is a this is an art form that you don't it doesn't last very long and you eat it, but it's still an art form. Yeah, but it's an art form. It's like. Yeah, like drawing. Right. Like your son's three when your son draws. Yes.

Like it's cool to see someone draw something, but it's also different then, you know, whatever Leonardo da Vinci, you know, whatever some someone who's amazing at it, like you go, oh, there's levels, there's many, many, many, many, many, many, many levels even to food.

There's like some food. There's just I'm hungry. I just need to eat. Right.

But then I guess what happened was civilization got settled in to the fact there was enough time between getting raided by barbarians and fighting off saber tooth cats like, OK, what if I make it pretty?

Like, what if I add a little bit of this everything and then they'll put in a little fucking balsamic drizzle on it.

Look at that little sprig of parsley, Rosemary. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look what you did.

And then they started turning what was like an essential thing into an art and experience.

Yeah, well, because you. You eat with all five of your senses, right? First, you hear it cooking, right, and you smell it like, oh, shit, that's my thing, right?

Then you see it and that's the whole plating of it, right. With the other two senses, you taste taste it last. Yeah. See here. What's the other one.

Feel you to feel it and you touch it. Oh sure. Texture to it and you go and so. So it is.

It's a dance and it's all and I love that. I love that whole aspect of it.

And for a while I, I had gotten into plant based stuff. To see and so it was like a fun thing when you can basically make a versions of your old comfort foods. Hmm.

I would be like, hey, or I would make stuff without like a specific ingredient, like do a substitute thing and it tastes great or look great or whatever it is. So so that's that's the stuff that I was into that.

But I also like. Flipping like we my wife and I did talk about doing a second, doctoring it up, like we'll just take like it would take, I don't know, let's say, like, I don't know, cantilevered, but then spice it up. So when you eat it just like this, it could be like a 25 dollar bowl of chili. Now, you know what I mean?

Doctoring stuff up is like my thing to I could take a frozen pizza and. Do some shit to it and keep it like, you know, it's cool to me, too, that food is so specific to the culture, like I went to Thailand for the first time ever last year.

Oh, yeah. And, you know, we actually took a Thai cooking class at this one place. And so you got to understand, like, how they do things, like there's very little dairy, like everything's like coconut milk and these different spices and curries and the way they cook.

And it's like you're like, oh, this is so recognizable as opposed like Mexican food, which is so recognizable to Mexico, the Molay and, you know, Carrizo and all the different styles of creating Mexican food.

Yeah, well, for a while I did raw food, raw.

We did raw food. It was fantastic.

It was the best Zebo best, really best I've ever felt in my life.

Yeah. Just raw vegetables. It's. Did you eat seeds?

No, I didn't do raw meat, but but I went down this deep dive. I was learning how to make dishes. And every meal has four things a fatty acid, a salt and the sweet. So even if you don't eat raw food, I was just like looking at plates like. So if you get calamari, right. The fried and that's the fat, you know what I mean? And then the salt is obviously the salt in the batter, in the salt you put on it.

The sweet is the dipping sauce, but they always give you a lime, which is why they do that. And that's the acid part. So every meal should have those four components. And then you just learn like how it's Datong and stuff that you do that like stimulate the tongue and excited. And so what I learned when I did the raw food thing is that I don't love barbecue potato chips.

I love the seasoning that's on the tip.

Of course, you take so you can take anything, not anything, which you don't. I mean, something chips in, but if you can conjure up those same seasonings, I won't miss barbecue potato.

I will fuck up a bag of vinegar, vinegar, salt and vinegar, chips, sea salt and vinegar. Yeah. Fuck those chips. Got the best ones I take. I feel like I can't stop. Yeah.

Like I'm in a trance. I'm vinegar and salt eating trance.

I'm like barbecue savory like. But I would eat any too but it's like the chip by itself.

That's where the sum is equal is way greater than the sum of the parts.

The total is way way because like salt by itself is OK, vinegar by itself. That's fine. Chips by themselves. All right.

I'm gonna go eat it all together like you know.

Right. Like what a mess. What's up, Jim?

Haven't you get no salt and vinegar almonds. Have you had those. I'm scared. Scared of these I, I've been addicted those for years. These are my my brand that rochus. Yeah. Blue diamond. Oh yeah. I eat the shit out of these but I know there's all kinds of spices in here that I need.

Right. Why am I eating this. But it's probably look this, this is the I haven't, I can't read this without my glasses on but that list of ingredients that's not just almond. Look at all that shit.

Look, see if you could read that. Look at all that shit.

Those are the Saroja almonds, which are goddamn delicious. Yeah.

But the first one, a little weird, a big corn mouth dextran. That's the first ingredient. No, no, no. I mean like the first one. That's a little funny. Oh it's the almonds, vegetable oil. Sugar, salt, cornmeal.

Yeah. See sugar is a high. No that's not good either. Yeah. It's really better off.

Raw raw almonds. Yeah.

It's, it's a really, it's just about making a deal with that problem is a dope.

A little bit of sugar though. How many grams of sugar does how, how big is a serving though. Like how many servings.

Oh yeah. Why did I do something like that. It's just twenty eight nuts an ounce. So that's six servings while I eat six servings of twelve grams and all that because I eat six servings.

About how many teaspoons of sugar got to be a lot of it's a lot of calories too.

When you find out how many calories are in almonds you like.

Whoa, six grams of protein. Yeah. Yeah it's good for you but you know it's bad for the fucking environment. So what do you care if you care about the environment? You have supposedly growing a plant here that could never survive without being drowned. That's what almonds are. These motherfuckers just suck up all the way. Their whores solier, they're mean.

They kill all the other plants, like, fuck you, we're trying to make nuts. I don't know.

I'm just kidding about that. But they're drinking all the water, the greedy bitches thirsty. They're like somebody pointed that out. Like, if you really care about the environment, you wouldn't be buying our products from other countries.

Oh, yeah. Like, what do you do we where's that avocado coming from?

How does it get in here by truck? You're supposed to be eating what's around you and you're supposed to live where shit grows.

Is it. It's that the whole.

That's right. Right. Oh yeah. We just drove here 500 miles with your food, their car to us. We have world hunger. If you people live where the food is moving, we got deserts in America too. We just don't leave it on my ass. Oh yeah.

Do that line alone. A lot of our food comes from.

California, yeah, yeah, the farmland between here and San Francisco is crazy Republican oh, you go up there, you see these, you know, anti-abortion billboards, pro Trump billboards and oh my goodness, it's like a different world.

It's so crazy because it's the world of the people who have to work from fucking dawn till like 7:00 p.m. and then they crash. They go back to the farm again. They're always trying to keep it together. Yeah. Fuck, man. When it comes to like farmers, there's one thing you get a lot of you get a lot of religion. And I'm not it's not a value judgment, but you get a lot of religion and you get a lot of Republicans, you get a lot of that.

It's not that common that you get from that.

I mean, there are a few there's certainly some organic farmers that are like real progressive liberal people. They understand the importance of growing your own food.

But like mass farmers, like when farmers are growing corn to feed cows, like those kind of farmers, it's nothing wrong with that. They need them that those fuckers are a lot of those people are Republican.

And you got to wonder, like maybe it's just like the party of the people that really bust their ass.

And they they want that. They want that that hard working farmer ethic is like there's no room for bullshit in life. If you've got to get up at six o'clock in the morning and feed the chickens, milk the cows, and they do shit all day long and you are barely paying your bills, you don't want to hear any bullshit.

You don't want to hear any bullshit.

And so I think a lot of them are Republicans because Republicans stands for like this.

No bull shit perspective on life that the think the Democrats want to hand out their money and take too much of the taxes. But it's because of their reality.

It's because the reality is particularly grueling occupation these people have taken on.

You know, it's it's almost like a mistake of perspective.

You know, they don't they don't have an opportunity to see things openly, like see the whole world and see where their position is. Like they have a uniquely difficult position.

They might think the whole world is like that, but it's not necessarily like you just chose something that's a preposterous endeavor.

I mean I mean that in an admirable way. I'm admiring farmer's work ethic. If you took a regular person, just you or me would never work like that ever and say, hey, Alan, you and Joe are going to get up at five o'clock in the morning, you're going to feed the chickens and milk the cows, gather up the eggs. You're going to work all fucking day, man, and you're barely going to make any money. And you're going to have crazy loans and you're going to need to be subsidized to be subsidized by the goddamn government.

Yep. No, man. So much depression and suicide. And when their farms collapse, man, it's fucking devastating. And there's some people who could do it to some people who do it.

And they become very successful and some people do it and love it and swear by it. I mean, there's a whole spectrum, but that that has got to test you.

And if you think about how crazy that is, that that's not more lucrative. What is more valuable to us that are not why do we treat them that way? Exactly.

That's like what else is more valuable? Our teachers. Why do we treat them that way? It's just people who get paid so little who are so valuable. Yes. What a fucked up society backwards. What what is more this No one is stay alive. That's number one. How do you do that. You need food that we like food. Yeah. We should take so good care of the one percent. They should be like priests. Yes.

They should be taking the of fruit.

They literally bring you fruit and you give them paper and you get their fruit and sustained you taste chocolate.

And then number two is teachers because once you hear you got to learn something. What do you what, what do we do with our teachers? We take them, we pay them dogshit. We stick them in front of fifty kids, barely paying attention.

And you just hope to make an impact on like I'm sure you have a few teachers like that said a thing at one point time. You're like, oh OK. Like this. Teachers do make a difference Mr. Friedenberg.

You'll never you'll never be able to draw a woman until you've had a woman. I appreciate said, oh, I got to give me a woman. Oh, that's a Bill Withers line.

Wow. That sounds like a song. Yeah. Mr. Friedenberg. God damn. Yeah.

I had one guy who was a Vietnam vet who's a heavy guy who's heavy, and he was in middle school when I was in I was in the Mary Curlee Middle School in Jamaica, Jamaica Plains, which is at the time it was a real sketchy neighborhood outside of Boston suburb, not a suburb of Boston, but, you know, inner city.

We moved there from Florida and that was the only place we could afford when I was a kid.

And and there's like seventeen year old kids.

And my seventh grade class was it was so ridiculous. I'm not exaggerating, man.

Yeah, it was maybe eighth grade, I forget.

But there was one teacher anyway, and he was a science teacher and he grows on radishes and you. Saying, look, all I need is radishes and salt, and that's my lunch and I grew my lunch and I'm thinking like, wow, this guy's out there growing his lunch, even out here in the city.

But this is the big thing he said to me. He goes, You ever want to hurt your head? He goes, just go outside and look up at space and realize how big it is. Try to imagine something that has no end.

If you really want to hurt your brain, just try to imagine that space has no end. That fucked me up, dude, I was like 13. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, he's right. What? There's no end.

And I swear to God that became a big part of the shift in how I started viewing the world.

It was like two things that started happening when I was a kid. One is that I moved around a lot, so I never had friends. And because I never had friends, I had a form my own opinions on things. I couldn't just adopt the opinions of the neighborhood at a form my own opinion. So I was always traveling to all these different places.

And then too was that teacher saying to me. That there's no end, and I remember thinking that when I was a kid, like, holy shit. And then the two conclusions. That one, there are no grown ups, it's not real like me that I was realizing, like I'm going to one day be one of them. This is nonsense. They don't know what because you see enough like faulty behavior in adults.

You see enough alcoholism. Like, I saw a lot of alcoholism and drug abuse when I was doing construction.

Oh, my my stepdad's an architect and he got me gigs on jobs and construction sites.

That's what I would do for summer. That's how I'd make money. And you get to be friends with some of these guys. And some of them had like real potential. Like there's this one dude.

He was a he was a drummer and I think mostly just a drummer.

I think he played guitar, too, in a band.

And he was a really funny guy. His name is Robbie. Funny, interesting guy. But he just struggled with the fucking booze in the bottle.

And I became friends with him when I was like 16, 17, and he was in his 30s, man.

And he couldn't get his shit together. He would like do good for a little stretch and then he would fall apart.

But I remember I liked him so much. I was like, he's so funny.

And when he's got his shit together, he's he's just a fuckin cool guy.

And then I would see him drunk. And I remember thinking that when I was 17, like us poor guy, he's tripping on his own dick. He's he's just fucking his way through.

But it was like for me, it was important to to realize that you could be a guy who was like a funny, nice guy that I really like, but also do the dumbest things possible and derail your life.

So I was thinking, like, what is missing in this guy that he's doing this? Like, why do people keep doing that, particularly with things that are just undeniably devastating, like hard drugs and things along those lines where you literally could die every night.

You still shooting up like what keeps you doing that? And it's like a lack of structure for a lot of them.

It's like, wow, I was thinking that when I was like, a lot of them are adrift and some of them it's a chemical thing, some of them for sure.

Addiction is they're more inclined chemically. But it seemed like some of them was just like a lack of structure and discipline.

And if they just had rules like here's rule number one, you don't shoot heroin into your dick because you're a you're a Smith. Yeah. And this is Smith's don't shoot heroin into the dicks. OK, all right. Gather it up. But some people, they grew up with parents that didn't lay down any rules, man.

And they never developed they never developed like a line. They can't be that farmer. Yeah.

Those fucking farmers that get up at six a.m. that those no bullshit motherfuckers that work hard every day, every day.

And then there's people that just like they barely show up. I'm sick today. I can't make it in. I think of it that way. So they don't have anything hanging over their head.

Yeah. You know, especially when you're young. Billy Gardell used to say when you're single, you're a Democrat. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. We see you do get a House. You're Republican. Yeah. So, well, once you own some shit, you're going to want to keep it and then that's what that's. Yeah, that's sorta true.

But that's not always I mean, I'm not a Republican. I'm. I consider myself left on almost every issue here, except for maybe the Second Amendment, and this is one where I saw people falter.

I saw a lot of my liberal friends fall apart. I wanted to come to Jo-Jo. How do I get a gun? Oh, when the city went down. So this. I know, cause it wasn't that we disagreed.

Even it said like they never won friend. His wife would never let him have a gun. And the moment this went down, she says, you have to get a gun. She said to him, you have to to Larry.

She turned 180 degrees. And this is what I've always saying.

Like, think people can go dark on you, man.

The world could get evil when when scarcity becomes a thing. I mean, there's a reason why there's so many apocalyptic movies and it never works out great.

You know, all these Mad Max movies, it's not like that would be way better if we just lived up coconut's fish we speared. Yeah, it would be.

It's a great idea in theory. But what if you break your leg, you want to die of an infection on the beach. So how many people hit you up asking? A lot.

A lot like almost probably a dozen close to. Did you help maybe. I would say genuinely at least seven or eight. It was to know. I said, listen, you're going to go down a road and I'm not going to help you get a gun. You got to go to a gun store. A giant line. Yeah. Wait in line, bitch. Go read. Read online. How to get a gun like this. I'm not supporting your panic, buying a firearm.

You got to learn how to use it, too.

That's the other part. As if you don't have to learn how to use a gun. It's like I've taken several lessons, many lessons.

Now, um, you, you have to learn how to use a gun correctly. You have to learn how to load it. Yeah, I've had rifle lessons. I've pistol lessons. It's it's a it's a very dangerous thing to just have around if you don't have any experience with it.

It's, it's tricky but but the inclination to get one is what I've been telling people about all along.

Like you think the world is safer than it is.

The world's not that safe. It's just safe right now. We hit a real good spot. Man, you and I were born in an amazing time on what could you imagine?

We're born in the time where people are getting it together. Right. We're not together all the way, but we're still. But we're getting it together. Yeah, we're getting it together. So in a sense, like one of the things you were saying earlier about wanting a woman of color to be vice president, here's what that would indicate. And this is what I think.

Well, one of the best things about the Obama presidency, but this is what I said, the best thing about the Obama presidency, let everybody know, OK, well, this racism is all bullshit because here's a guy who made it to the fucking White House.

And this is a guy who's articulate and he's brilliant and he's a perfect statesman. Whether or not you like his policies are not like that's a great representative of who we can be. So drop it. There's no inferior race. It's just people who have an opportunity, people who don't and cultures and where they're where they develop in advance and what kind of environment they grow up in. We're all one thing. We're all one thing. True.

But but but he is his the. But when one group decides to. Changed the rules and keep moving the goalposts and keep doing so, they can keep whatever they have. That's everybody in power. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're right. Every culture has.

But it's every job, everything, everything.

But in this country, it you know, racism is not it's not bullshit like this. It's still.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, it's bullshit. Like, it's not a real thing. I mean, it's bullshit. Like it's a dumb thing to still hold on to.

OK, let's be clear. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you for being so calm and correcting you. If I really thought that stupid. No, I'm not saying that racism is ism is bullshit. I'm saying no, you can't defend it any more. There's nothing there.

There's nothing there. Oh yeah.

If you just decide that an individual is in a category because of how much melanin or where they're from, that's crazy.

Now that say something to show no one has a stronger work ethic than a racist, stronger work ethic than the Jamaican, Jamaican, Jamaican racist.

Mind you, listen to me. I know you know how hard these cats work to change the rules. And if they just did half of that the other way, everything would be beautiful. Do you understand why I'm trying to say, like, you know, what's my favorite one word? Lazy Mexican.

Do you know how. God, that's crazy. That's ridiculous. It's the hardest working people ever, ever. You see Mexicans out there picking strawberries for like 13 cents an hour, you know? I mean, how much are they making? What do they pay them? There's so many undocumented workers.

How many people walk here from Mexico?

How many people were Mexicans working on farms and bust their ass doing the hardest jobs possible, waiting outside Home Depot to do anything you want them to do?

That's crazy. That's a hilarious that's a hilarious description raised before that the same thing happened to black folks, too. Sure.

The slavery and after slavery, us lazy in this world.

Well, that's the darkest aspects have never been addressed from slavery, is what where you start from. So if you if there's a community in this, there's a community that has definitely been suppressed by racism, like there was a guy.

What is Woods what's his name, the the Baltimore police detective that we had. Michael Woods. That's right. Who was a he was a detective in Baltimore or a police officer in Baltimore.

I don't know. Was he a detective? I don't know who's a police officer.

Anyway, he found an old piece of paper that was a detail of like the crime report. And it was all the exact same crimes from 1970, something as he was experiencing the exact same place, the exact same crimes.

And it was like, oh, shit. And for him.

It was just a relevation like, oh, this and then he found out about redlining, we weren't allowed, came up with that like seriously like well into the thick of the work ethic it took, even with people who came up with that.

Well, people that were trying to suppress people that were freed from slavery. Right. So even imagine. Right. Even if you weren't a slave owner, if you condoned slavery, if you were around in 1864. I know.

I think it's a good thing. And then also they let them out, you know, like, oh, shit, that's what happened.

And then they tried to suppress them, so they tried to keep it. But we're still experiencing that today. Now, when people talk about, like, reparations being a good idea or a bad idea, the most important thing would be to fix all the spots that we absolutely know were affected by slavery.

And there's not a small number of them. There's a large number of them in these communities continue to be in a suppressed state.

Even though they are free, they can go out and some of them do escape and they get great careers. Some people do get out of bad neighborhoods.

But you're asking people to do a way more difficult thing than if you growing up in Brentwood, most people talk about, you know, slavery and now but nobody talks about like the the moment after slavery, what they started doing, the black codes.

Right. So so like so you're technically free, right. But then they would make it illegal for you to hunt and fish for your own food. And then you couldn't look for a job outside of your town like he was like all these things that was basically in it, and then they made loitering illegal. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like if we can get you to jail, then we can treat you like a slave again. It was like this because we imagine like so you only had to work for one person, steal and still get paid city wages.

Yeah. As opposed to going. I want to work wherever I want to work. It's illegal. Then I won't work. I draw my own food.

You can't do that like in the federal government didn't. You know, make the states deal with it. I'm going to do a movie about this, but I don't know if anybody is a hundred movies to be done.

You know, I got balls deep in a Native American history couple months back and it freaked me out. That's crazy, man.

I read I started off with this book that my friend Steve Rinella wrote on American Buffalo. Right. And I read that in a lot of it had to do with, like Native Americans hunting the buffalo. Right. And then I did read this book, Empire of the Summer Moon, that was on the Comanches and holy shit.

And I just started getting I read like at least five of them over.

Most of them I listen to were fascinated to them on audio. The story stands out to you the most. The Comanches.

Yeah, bro. They ran shit. They ran shit all through Texas and Oklahoma. They killed everybody. They this is how devious people were at the time.

They would give people giant chunks of land. They said you could have a giant truck. Oh, you're in Comanche country. So they would give them this land. They would go there and get slaughtered.

But they would like slowly they were trying to like use them as like human cannon fodder to slowly move the, you know, the line of what America owned and push into Comanche country.

But it took hundreds of years. The Comanches from like the sixteen hundreds to the teachers were dominant. They were they were so terrifying.

They all they ate was buffalo wild motherfuckers who didn't hardly create any art.

They figured out horseback riding and they figured out horseback riding better than any of the other Native Americans. And they figured out how to shoot arrows off their horses and they figured out how to raise horses. So their whole thing was about giant packs of horses and they can conduct all of their fighting off these horses.

And the white dudes only had muskets back then. They had one shot back and then you had to fill that picture, but it took forever.

And the Comanches figured out there's a do named Lars Anderson, who actually like sort of recreated what they were able to do back then. He's an archery guy and the Comanches would take arrows in between all their fingers.

And so as they were riding a horse chasing dudes down, all the white guys would get off the horses right and right. And that's how they fired the rifles. The Comanches would shoot from their horses with all their arrows stuck in their fingers. They'd go, one, two, three, four. And they could shoot like an arrow a half a second crazy.

They would hang off the side of the horse and use the horse as a shield under its neck. As though and they were ruthless, man, ruthless, what they did, what they did to other Indians, what they did to white settlers, and it's all depicted in just dark, gory detail where you're like, oh, my God.

I mean, but you got to realize what was imagine trying to survive back in Oklahoma.

Seventeen hundred.

When you just ride around your horse with you got sticks that have sharp rocks that you chipped at the end of them to go kill deer and buffalo and shit.

And that's what you need to make your baby stay alive.

And then you get raided by other Indians who want to fuck you woman and take all your shit for you.

I got so crazy about it.

I got so crazy about it that I had to I had to take a break for a while when I got that painting.

The painting you saw in the asphalt. That's this guy, Greg Overton. He's a master at Native American stuff. I think that's a crow. I actually didn't ask him, but somebody else told me, look at that.

This is how these fuckers do it. This guy hanging, that guy looks like a Mongol buddy.

Is he Native American stuff?

Daniel Baliles Page. Well, he might be a native. Well, it might be Danny Bulos, but also the way like all their stuff, their hats and their clothing and stuff looks more like Mongolian. But the Mongols were famous for being able to do that.

And that was even before, you know, anything was recorded about the Native Americans.

This had to be to be able to do that.

Well, their bows, their bows would take a hundred and sixty pounds to pull what? Yeah, yeah. They were ridiculously ridiculous. It was like.

So you're saying it was like pulling 160 pounds, 160 pounds. Yeah. To give you an example, my bow. Yeah. That I shoot with his eighty two pounds. It's really hard to pull back. Oh shoot. Yeah. It's like doing that pull pulldowns.

Exactly. It's really hard to go. So that is twice as powerful and mine's a compound bow so it's on like these can.

So as you pull it it gets easier at the end. Oh I guess it's easier to hold there.

That's hilarious man. I just had like what if you made a sound every time you pulled it because it's hard.

Like if you did that, it's kind of a rough ride. Jim noises Do you ever see that.

What does that one is it Planet Fitness? We don't let you make noises.

No one. Calame like that. You can't make noises. You can't make noises. We got discrimination of all time. We had discrimination. Discriminate against us meatheads. Yes. If I'm left brow, I'm making noises. OK, you can't hear that. Maybe you shouldn't open a fucking gym. This is what I do when I'm really trying to get something to.

Yes, I make noises because I'm a man.

This is like alarm clock one drops weights or judges, you know, human. Human. Oh no. On humans.

Right. You want people that are going to quit. That's what they want.

They want people that are going to buy a membership, go there for a month. And so and that's what people that are dedicated.

Right. Dedicated people grunt, they grunt, they drop weight. Yeah, they feel it.

They also put pizza out on Fridays. I've heard. Oh, do they go places a planet fitness. Yeah. They put pizza out pizza people go. Is it like. Like what kind of pizza. Like pizza.

Like pepperoni cheese pizza. Are you serious or ridiculous at a gym.

What does that. There's a plant based crust that's actually supposed to be cauliflowers. I want to make that.

Yeah. I mean. Actually, a pizza crust from scratch is fun, man. It's a hilarious misunderstanding that you thought I was saying that racism is bullshit like it does.

No, I just wanted to I know for sure that if I said that like that, God, that's going to be taken out of context. I don't think you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why that's why I went back. I didn't go to bed at all.

Oh, that's hilarious.

I just think it's it's a there's it's it's bad for everybody, but it's also like it's a part of a pattern of human behavior that's bad.

And that pattern is lumping people into a category and not accepting the uniqueness of the individual.

Like as soon as you put someone in a category, like any kind of category, you put people in and you don't accept the uniqueness of the individual, you create the potential for some sort of tribal difference between each other that wouldn't ordinarily exist.

Like we start thinking of someone as, oh, this guy from yeah, this guy's from this place and this guy is from that place, I think of them in this way or they do this. So I think of them that way, like I don't have a problem with you, that I have a problem when you go because I think of you that way. You you don't get to do this. That's just big is weird for sure thing.

I mean, what you want out here. But when you just go, I don't want anything.

You know, what I was going to say is that like we still have, but there's certain like aspects of certain cultures.

You can't deny it, like, oh, I like Italians, you know, like I'm mostly Italian and they are the most stereotypical fucking people alive. Like the East Coast. Italians are exactly like The Sopranos.

There's just varying levels of Chromeo right now, almost killing it. He could be president.

He could be friends. He that's a guy who could be president. That's a guy who exhibits all the leadership skill and understands that this is a terrible thing. And sacrifices have to be made and there's mistakes that have been made. And we're going to have to correct those mistakes and do the right thing going forward. And we're gonna have to figure out how to get through this. And that's the imagine being a guy who's a president or a mayor or a governor who's dealing with this right now.

Like we as much as we shit on all of them, we have to we have to respect that. They're trying to help us. And they're you know, I think they're trying to help us. That's my perspective. When I see whether or not I agree that we should be shut down for X amount of months, I don't know when we should reopen. I'm not an expert. I don't know jack shit, but I do. I appreciate when someone like our governor, like seems like a leader and is on television and he's making the choice and he's making a choice based on wanting more people to be able to stay alive.

Yeah, I'm all for I'm all for that too. That's all. Those things are great for all of us, you know.

But I just I hate the fact that there's Democrats and that there's Republicans. I hate it.

I hate the fact that there's these groups because it just leaves open this. Like I had a friend. He's a really nice guy. And when we were on this, we work together on the set. And he was so into Apple.

Oh, so many Apple products. Yeah. He was talking about when the new Apple laptop comes out, you know, we're going to shove it in Microsoft's face.

And there was like all this team shit. I was like, bro, you got team shit for the operating system of your computer.

That's how that's how that's. So that's how we are, man. It doesn't have to be of something that's important because politics are important. Right. The way we treat each other is important. Policy is important. The way the standards of how we accept the leader of this great nation, the way communicates all that stuff is important. Right. That is real.

But it's also. To break it down into two sides is so dumb, it opens up the possibility for tribalism. Oh, the same thing is like a fucking iPhone versus Android. People ready stab each other.

Yeah, at my son's school, they won't they won't let you wear superhero stuff because it can create cliques. Because if you like, I'm Spider-Man people. I'm Batman people.

And then you can create that DC versus Marvel.

When I was a comic book, had it was all about Marvel Comics versus DIY was a Marvel guy, my friends with DC guys and they were fucking losers like DC this.

But that's just a natural part of human beings. We have to yeah.

We have to recognize all of that. We'll still be like you wear glasses. I don't make glasses. Yeah.

It's also I'm from Jersey. I'm from Boston. You know, all that shit.

It's like, come on, it's it might be cute, but to hang on to it, if you if you get some benefit out of it, if you're proud to be from Brooklyn, that's great. But you're just a person.

And this this is the only way to look at each other. The only way to look at each other is based on the individual.

And it's just hard to do. It's natural to separate people by political biases, by what part of the country. They're it's natural. It's fucking it's a but we don't have to do it anymore. We don't have to. It's a trap. There's a trap that robs you of your perspective and lumps you in with a bunch of other assholes.

Yeah. You know, like there's some women that are like all girl power out, you know, like, listen, there's a lot of girls that are amazing, but there's a lot of girls that will you don't want them on your team.

You know, they took bad shit. You know what? Casey Anthony on your team.

Let's just stop this all girl, all boys shit. Let's stop all left. All right. It's all fucking nonsense.

And we haven't figured it out yet. For some reason, we're still dependent upon two parties. We're still dependent abound on two philosophies, conservative or liberal, different parts of the country. Oh, these are red states like. Oh, Christ.

Oh, yeah. The colouring of state has always been a it's a trap. When when did that start? I wish I knew some blue states when I was a kid.

It's a fucking trap. It's all a trap. It's a trap. So what's the alternative though, right? No, I'm a moron. That's the thing.

Like whenever I hear everything is, well, what are we supposed to do?

So what's the what's the alternative? I think multiple parties. I believe Holland. Doesn't Holland have like seven political parties or some shit I that working out.

Well, they have legal weed or they tolerated weed long for us, used to be able to buy mushrooms at cafes.

Oh shit. What I stop, I think people start tripping too hard.

I did mushrooms one time I out on this dude's couch.

Did you tell me this story?

Was that white couch. This is crazy. Is his name. I know you have that platform.

That's a rough, rough moment for that moment.

That's crazy.

If he sees this, even though he's fucking laughing.

But that's another example of like, what do you do? Like people? Just people are so. People are so.

That's my only question. Like an atheist, you shouldn't believe in God. I don't believe in that he is not the right. What's the alternative? And like, you can't. Yeah, no, you're right, you can't you can't tell people what to believe in. The thing about atheism versus religion is like, what is the overall benefit? Do you if you get an overall benefit out of believing in a higher power and it forces you to act in a more harmonious way.

So you sure that's not good?

Because there's a lot of religious people that because of those religious principles, they live very ethical and moral lives. So is it an overall net benefit for them to be involved in a religion? It seems like there's an argument that it could be.

But then is there also an argument for being objective about some of those stories that seem crazy, like guys coming back from the dead and walking on water?

And yeah, when I went to Notre Dame, we had it. We all had to take theology class. We had a nun who told us that everything in the Bible was a symbol. It was a symbol. So someone is oh, they're just saying it. No one lived to be 800. That just means what they have to say is important.

Oh, right, right, right. Like 72 virgins. Do you know that idea of when you blow yourself up?

Because it's not doesn't really mean symbol. Yes. It means like a million versions. Like I'm saying, I get 100 million billion. It's like yeah it's a lot is saying that that's an important thing.

Yeah. Yeah. For one believe for Tenet and. That resident, I understood that, and so that's how I perceive it as far as like is not a literal thing, which kind of makes it kind of cool, you know, like.

Yeah, just as an artistic choice because like, oh, because like in books, some people were upset that I did some I will go to black and white and then go to color. But the reason for doing that is whenever we talked about the past, we would go to black and white. And then whenever we talk, that's like a dream, right?

Yeah, it was a dream state. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, exactly. Exactly.

So I just made that choice.

And because initially I wanted it to all be in black and white, but we just we just did it as a run and gun thing. So we weren't thinking about the lighting and making sure it was. And so when we looked at the color footage, like some of it was all over the place too, it was like, let's do the black and white for the past then. So let's go. Yeah, yeah.

Because, well, the correction is also like expensive. So it was like, let's, let's try to keep the cost down as well. So that's why that was the choice.

So if you go back, you know, smoke one and watch it again, you'll see whenever we talk about anything in the past is all black is black and white back in the color when it's present, dude, where's it going to be like going on stage and you have a guy on stage in a month.

Oh my God. I was just thinking of how weird is that going to be. Everybody going to seem like over Meeker's.

What's the longest stretch you've ever gone without doing so?

I can't even I that's a damn. Oh I know. I can tell you eight months, but it was one of the really early Ibom so hard I was afraid mine a month.

But he called me back and I went back up. He was a good story. I was nineteen, I was nineteen and then I, I went on stage, I was twenty and I was funny again and it was back in me.

Oh good. And that was my, that was my on again. Off again for eight months.

But, but as a professional the longest I've ever gone I couldn't, I would say I would be lying if I tried to think of I don't know because those shows are going to be lit.

Do you know how crazy the chemistry is going to be when this motherfucker opens up again? Do you know how crazy it's going to be? It's going to be crazy.

When you last saw him, I broke my phone basically from the text on Dotcom Joy. Oh, I told you I was going to do that.

I mean, it was good shit, though. And so it still exists. I talk to those people all the time and it's been great. Beautiful castle like. Yes, pretty powerful. One guy told me the other day he uses my clips to help the morale of his troops and the like floored me. Like, I was like, oh well, yeah, man. And I've been sending them like I sent them notebooks first. And so they got to see it.

They got to see the trailer first. And I was getting feedback and stuff. It was cool.

People think it's a robot. It's really me. I'll be doing this. You and I, we talk and see that's nice.

But yeah, it was dope man. You know, it worked out so thank you.

Beautiful, but I set up some dates and then I know. Yeah well we talked about. I want to go. Yeah I want to go. People ask me are you coming here with Joe. You come here. I was like yeah we're going to do some hopefully when we're allowed to. I have a couple of dates booked at the end of the year.

I don't even know if they're going to be able to do them. I'm supposed to be at the forum and November 1st.

Yeah, I don't know. I want to do that. I don't even know if it's real. It's down the street. But I think that the governor has said twenty, twenty one for concerts and shit that makes sense.

I don't know. And they say might be like six, you might be people separated.

I'm going to be so mad. All you need is vitamin C.

I know, right. I'll be so mad like some doctor comes out like ten years from now. It's like all. If I just took just four thousand milligrams of vitamin C a day, that's all you need. There's no viruses and you get four thousand grams of vitamin C and don't be a dick.

I don't know what stops it. Like what what can strengthen your immune system and what can't you know. Do you know. Yeah. Is that real.

Well, as an expert I would say, I would say I don't know about your immune system because that's kind of like your pelvis, like you can't strengthen that shit. I just don't think that's true, though. It's pelvis, your immune system. Oh yeah. Yeah, you can sit it.

Oh, yes.

I think you're starting to buy you can't straighten your pelvis like the bones themselves. Oh no. But see, those Jews do that fuck exercise. We should also be doing a fucking size. Isn't that strengthen your pelvis.

Listen, if she's 150. Yeah. But if she's like three eighties.

Oh yeah. That's too bad. I can't do it.

She's got to give up sugar and carbs. Right.

I think the immune system by which you put in your body parts, especially over 40, I think like when I was doing raw food, I didn't get sick at all.

At all. I stop got socially, socially stuff.

I forgot being sick. I want to go back. My boys were teasing me like, yo, it'd take you 48 hours to make a pancake so dehydrated I had a dehydrate.

I still have it. I dehydrate fruit and stuff for my kids.

But did you have to when you were doing that? Did you have to in any way like supplement your protein where you like Peanut? Because that's a myth.

That's the whole thing is all of what you choose to believe about protein. But they were like, you can get pro. From Greens, so, yes, we certainly can. So I know you can get protein from you just don't get the same amount. No, it's about absorbable.

But then there's a question of like, how much protein do you really need? That's the big debate. Yes, that's the big debate. Yeah. It's kind of like, well, like with bacon. Remember when bacon was, like, dying and then somebody came up with make make it like you have to have it on burgers and they did what they did and bacon like came at you.

Well they were people weren't really messing with it then.

Well people thought bacon was bad for you for a long time though, like they thought fats were bad for you. And so like the idea of having bacon is delicious, but it's going to kill you. You're going to have a heart attack choking on a piece of bacon.

Everybody thought that there was a that Dr Sean Baker had that carnivore. Modica he he wrote something about a study. There's something about a study that was released on.

People who don't eat meat in the correlation between mental disorders and anger issues and sadness, there's some I don't know if I might have made part of that up, but there's something about it like people who just who don't eat meat that have.

Some mental issues, come on, man, sort of said, well, people who does it possible, they always say you take on.

Do you find that, Jamie, the stress of the moment, wasn't it? No, I'm just talking about science. Just talking about science here. I don't know if the scientists did what people eat and what people believe are very personal things, right? Oh, yeah. Religion and politics. You want to clear a room? Yeah, right. And that crazy.

But it used to be the easy part is recent research. Everybody ate everything vegan up until like 30 years ago. Everybody and everything.

Yeah, well, but that's because I believe we didn't have to we had a smaller population. So to stretch it, you don't know. Like the milk my mom drank is not the same milk that we're taking. So because you've got to feed more people, more people are drinking milk. So that's part of it for sure.

Another part of it is they want to make more money, you know, they want to be able to make more milk, be able to pump it out quicker, pump it out quicker.

So it's I'ma tell you, man. Plus, when I used to drive all over the country, I never saw two cows fucking ever. Always see cows, Nancy and fucking and everybody.

And I was like, I can't all be cow and not making enough.

These motherfuckers just be standing on the most ridiculous silence like I drove by and never saw anybody fucking it's not real. Not real earth flat. That's not fair to me. Yes.

Meat and mental health. A systemic review of absentee Asian depression, anxiety and related phobias.

So what's he saying? Yeah, OK, the majority studies, especially of higher quality studies, show that those who avoided meat consumption had significantly higher rates or risk of depression, anxiety and or self-harm behaviors. There was mixed evidence for temporal relations. But study designs and a lack of rigor precluded inferences of casual relations.

Yeah, one study does not support meat avoidance as a strategy to benefit psychological health.

Well, yeah, because our study room, you beat us, you beat yourself up. You have you do feel guilty if you have live a whole life of eating meat and then you try not to eat meat and then you go to dinner.

So then you go crazy. No, I don't know. I didn't go crazy part, but I get you feeling guilty.

And that is it's tough to change your diet. Yeah. Is is not eating that way, is not supported.

It's starting to get more support it but eating raw.

I mean that's not nobody really says that. But like eating vegan. Yeah. Vegan. The whole vegan industry to be on meat world is the way the AFP is made of protein. Like all of that stuff is like like this stock went through the roof. Oh yeah.

Yeah.

The thing the thing that freaked me out the most about the animal kingdom is not just that we are able to justify stuff in as many as we can into a warehouse and.

Yeah. And make them shit on top of each other and then eat them.

And that that's just one crazy thing about it. The other crazy thing about it is what they do to each other.

Yeah, man, I'm, I'm obsessed with wildlife videos like wildlife videos were animals are eating out every day.

Every day I watch a cheetah take out some kind of a gazelle or a crocodile ate someone's dog. I watched the other day in Australia, the dog pulled up and these people are screaming at the top of their lungs and the crocodile gets their dog. SNAP just drags him into the water and they are fucking screaming and crying.

I am fascinated by the fascination about this thing. Just all the drama you've.

Well, it's what we're doing. It's fucked up for sure. But what they're doing to each other is fucked up, too. It's just a different kind of fucked up. They're fucked up is instantaneous. Right. I they need an animal.

They find a dead body with their face, the dragon in the water swallow and that's their fucked up.

And we just kind of accept that as a part of nature. Right. Our fucked up is weird, our fucked up as we've figured out metal and boxes and we feed our cages and we stuffed that chicken in this fucking little box and make him shit on the other chicken.

And we figured it out. We figured out how to do whatever the fuck we want.

If you want eggs for a dollar a dozen, that's what it's going to take in order for this company to make any fucking money.

Right. So so they just they figured out how to do it.

You know, when I saw this video, it started really making sense to me.

I saw this video of baboons that were raising puppies.

Yeah, bro, it's crazy, these these baboons that steal these dogs and then keep these puppies, they keep them near by the camp because the puppies will bark whenever things are coming close. So they feed them, they keep them nearby and they basically have pets. So these baboons, this crazy video, these baboons just grab this puppy by. It's like they're rough with them. You know, they don't have any idea of compassion. Right. So they don't give a fuck.

They're banging this puppy off rocks and shit, dragging them behind them and then just set the puppies, like trying to get away. And it's like, sit the fuck down.

And he gives them some food and the baboons just hanging out with this puppy and then raises it and then uses these dogs that they stole to guard the perimeter.

Well, yes. Yeah. So animals do like why didn't they just eat the puppy right now?

Because it wanted to pet animals do weird shit to like with their deer, just a bunch of systems that are trying to compete against other systems like the system, the deer system versus the mountain lion system.

The deer system is we just got to keep fucking and keep moving these big things. And if they fuck too much and it's too many of them and not enough, we're done. We got to just keep fucking and keep moving. And the mountain lion system is every day I got to kill a deer with my face. Right. Every day I got to find one. I've got to sneak up and get close enough. This fast ass thing with swords growing out of his head to grab him by the neck and drag him down into the woods.

These systems, they're all horrific outcomes, right? Predator and prey systems. All of them are horrific. All of them are horrific is just a new kind of horrific.

We also like outlive all of those other things, right? Oh, yeah. Live the fuck out. So we know real guilt. Yeah. You kill someone when you're four. Do you really even understand what you just did?

Ryan, your life expectancy is seven, right? Yeah. You really understand a four year old lion is probably killed.

A million things. A mountain. Three years, guys.

Yeah. Did you watch Tiger? Did you watch that? My wife and I tried to watch.

Isn't that what we now is your fuck about a ship? We are not naming names.

Names like another time, not doing a quarantine.

I need it to be OK for me to like, enjoy it.

But it seem hilarious because they I open the book with the with the call saying that that ladies, you're going to want to prosecute that lady.

Yeah. All right, I'm in. And then just this is wunmi out that in a way out. Yeah. It will be out. So I think in happier times I totally build into it.

I'm serious. Like I literally is in my queue. I'm going back.

It's just it's a good show for the apocalypse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it represents the folly of human beings.

Well, we could be at our most preposterous, you know.

I mean, but he would be a gay guy who raises tigers, marry straight guys. Right? They all do you math shoot guns. One guy accidentally shoots himself in the head. The other guy decides he's not gay. What, what, what? This is madness.

That is a wild ass show of real people. And you really couldn't make something like that fake. You may be like the Coen brothers could do it.

You know, the O Brother, where art thou type deal? They could kind of they could kind of create somebody like jokes, but it's almost like better because it's read is real.

It's better. Yeah, because it's better if it was. You believe that couldn't happen.

Yeah. And the other guy who runs the sex cult and and then Carol and her husband, her husband is dressed up with a rope around his neck.

He went missing here. I hate this guy. We're missing the first one missing.

It's no big deal. I mean, she definitely didn't do it. She feeds meat to cats every fucking day. He was worth millions, whatever, whatever. And I don't know where he is.

Carol fucking Baskin. Yeah. God damn. What a show. Do you think you can marry somebody whose first husband went missing? Oh, my God. We signed up for that.

Well, the kind of guy that would be into that, there's some guys that would be into that. They're similar to like girls who, like, get into serial killers. Oh, right.

There's girls that are really they like email serial killers and they're in love with them. They want to marry them.

I don't. Oh. After the call. Oh yeah. It's just about like right when they were like, no, they are from out there.

I think there's a weird obsession with this.

It's a small percentage of the people I've I've got high and thought about this. Yes. I think it has to do thinking about it for the first time.

Now, what I with back in the day, if you were a murderer, if you were like and if you could befriend a murderer like you would, you would be more protected.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah. Is you know, someone has done it before.

They won't talk out of something we need to help with.

Well, that's what women are I think a lot of women are really terrified of is if.

Fronted with the real adversity, how will their man hold up if you're a woman, are you weigh 90 pounds and you have a husband that's twice your size, like literally a 180 pound human, that that's normal.

That happens all the time.

But if he's a bitch and he folds and you're like left, they're like, oh, my God. Like, no one's going to stop anything from happening to me or stop anything.

I'm saying rude things to me and fuck, you're not protected.

And this mean people out there, right.

If you're a woman, he's stumble into some mean people that are saying rude, lurid shit to you and no one's there to protect you and you got to walk back to your car and you're wondering, holy fuck, I know that sounds like a fun game show.

Did you marry a bitch?

It's unfortunate because a lot of divorces on that show and we do out there don't even know that they're bitches.

Because they haven't really been tested. They don't know and I think. Most people believe they're going to do way better than they will.

Yeah, and in real times of struggle, I think most people believe they're going to do way better than they actually will, because when you actually see a boxing ring in the club, everybody.

But that's a different thing, right? That's like a guy with technique. Yeah. If you've got a guy with technique in front of you and you don't know how to box your fast, you got like a few seconds to get lucky as you charged.

And maybe you might clench and throw a punch to relax and hurt him. It's possible.

Maybe, maybe. But it's not very likely.

It's more likely going to get boxed up. Yeah. Yeah, and jujitsu is even worse than jujitsu, it's 100 percent because there's no lucky shots, you can't break a bone practicing.

Yeah, I broke my foot, my rib, my hand.

My nose is destroyed. Yeah, I broke my nose so many times. That my nose was useless, it was useless, it didn't work, I only had like one quarter of one nostril that was open and I had a Lezley tone to me.

I didn't realize I was listening to and watching an old fear factor once, other than my horrifying choice of wardrobe and inescapable accent that I still had.

I was how nasally my voice was because I couldn't breathe out of my nose. It was useless.

So Rebe had two ACL surgeries from my two ACL. I blew up both knees.

That's that's it, though.

That's not too bad. When you look you do like jujitsu.

And particularly like most people just accept the fact that there's a possibility of injury. It's like it could happen.

You could go a year without getting injured or it's not like going and taking a yoga class where you're probably pretty safe.

It's too much random. Wild shit's happening.

More people are trying to kill each other, you know, Liberté, that part. But I was going to set up what you did. You'd be great at it. What are you so big?

How tall are you? Six, five foot long ass arms. Do you choke the fuck out of people? All the leverage. Yeah, yeah.

The leverage from your arms and your legs would be so spectacular. How would it transform me as a human being?

You would lose a lot of weight and you would get a shit ton of confidence. Yeah. You would just have to go about it very technically. The thing that I when I started, I was I was younger and dumber and I went at it like aggressively like I went at the other martial arts when I was younger.

Like, I just want to do them as hard as I could, as fast as I could. Well, jujitsu really is about technique.

And the more strength you have, one of the problems is you could substitute technique for that strength. Like the best jujitsu players, the guys to learn from the best are the guys were small humans. They're smaller people like Eddie Bravo is a smaller guy.

It's one of the reasons why such a great instructor, Joyella Gracy, is another famous super technical jujitsu guy who's a smaller guy. There's like a series of guys like that all over the country. And Jeff Glovers, another one of these smaller guys, because they're smaller, they have to rely on the spectacular techniques you learn from them. So you never really want to rely on your strength. It's it's it it'll stop you from getting better. In fact, it'll stop you from achieving, like, the perfect the right technical level.

So you just keep getting better and better at it. And then when you get to a certain point, like if you're in a fight with a guy like wildfire and the guy if a guy just knows how to throw a punch and he's fast and he's a strong guy, he might punch you and he might fuck you up. It might happen. It can happen whenever you throw in knuckles with people, especially in a chaotic environment. It's possible. Here's what's now possible.

I don't care who you don't know how to grapple at all. And someone like Joyce Grazi clinches you and drives you to the ground.

You're a Fox Bill. You're Fox bill 100 percent of the times 100 one zero zero.

You're Fox ville. You're Fox Bill. He's going to choke you one hundred percent of the time.

And he'll do that to people that know jujitsu. So when you get to a point like a guy like Hicks and Grace, you are my instructor, Jean-Jacques Machado. He can do that to people that are experts in jujitsu.

So there's so many levels.

It's a crazy thing to learn and you're built for it. Man, being so tall and long. Also, you're a smart dude who, like you say you like economics, is like figure.

Well, if this happens and that. Yeah, yeah.

That's the same jujitsu just like that. Yeah. Helsingør Gracieuse, another famous jujitsu practitioner, he was asked to describe jujitsu and he's like, I'm on a paraphrases. I might fuck it up. He said he said it was basically like, I move and then you move and then I move.

And then you move forever. Forever. Though, this description of jujitsu like, oh my God. So if you realize how good health is that it becomes a terrifying expression because it's like eventually I'm going to get you bitch. Yes. If you fuck up, you're going to get tired. You're going to be using too much strength and you're going to get exhausted, just like those boxers that were throwing punches and they'll get tired and the other guy would piss them up.

But it's going to be even more horrific because you're never going to be able to accomplish anything.

You're just going to slowly wear out. You guys just going to keep attacking you and you keep pushing them off you and you going to keep attacking you and you keep exploding and he's going to keep attacking you. And eventually you're gonna get tired and then he's just going to dominate you.

He's just going to control you. You'd be great at it, dude. It'd be good for you. Yeah, it'd be really good for you. What?

I have to be in there with kids when I first like kids class getting attacked. They're going to.

Here's how strong jujitsu is. There was a woman name. She still exists. Her name's Felicia. Oh, she's a friend of mine. She's a black belt from John Machado's.

She's super technical and she weighs Felicia's very strong, which weighs about maybe 135 pounds.

And there was a guy named Seymour Butz, Seymour Butz was a porn star who had a TV show on Showtime, and he had this idea pretty bold of him, really.

He's brave to do this. He just decided I'm going to do like jujitsu match.

Well, I've never taken jujitsu before, but I'm going to spar with a woman and see what happens.

And this girl just fucked him up.

But she it was she's elite man. She's really good. Good. Yeah. She teaches people. She also works for the California State Athletic Commission. So I get to see her at UFC events oftentimes. And there in California, she's awesome, but she's super technical.

So this guy, he was doomed. He just didn't know he was a guy. He's in really good shape.

He's young and fit and pretty good bodacious bitch, his choking arm and leg lock at home.

And I don't know what she did to him.

I remember how many times she tapped him or what she did it with, but it was like arm bars and triangles.

But again, that would happen to any man who didn't know anything and went with her.

So even though she's a woman, just a technical expertise, it overcomes strength.

It's so for a guy like you who's a very cerebral person, who likes these sort of puzzles and figures things out. And it's one of the reasons why your comedy is so good. You're excellent at, like economy of words and setting things up in a mysterious way and then dropping punchlines. Yeah, that's jujitsu.

It's there's similar. I like that. I think there's a lot of things like that in this life that are similar. Yeah. There's little things that you you learn like little ways to move around, things that advance through these these games and systems.

And you can apply that to all these other different things and you can apply it even to comedy.

Yeah, that's what I was I was just thinking, like when we would talk, we were talking about another approach. But that's that's that's what I got from notebooks to just how everybody approaches. We have the same goal to make somebody laugh. We approach it differently. Yeah. Something that's so enticing to me, like how everyone approaches the craft in their own way.

I was super awkward when I first started out because I didn't have any background really in anything performing arts related or even music, you know.

So I was super awkward and how to how to present myself and how to dress and how to act in. Yeah, yeah. Because people who have knowledge of that, they do have a different level of execution. Yeah.

And like I know people who can sing, they say things in like a more memorable way, like you were just remember it. But they're not technically trying to sing. Yeah. You know, like you remember their phrases or their hooks or whatever it is, you know, because it's like a musicality to their performance. Like you just you, you know, that's the thing you figure out too.

Yeah. Is that it's not just and this is something with podcasts I think as well. It's not just the words. There's something to how you say the words. And some people are not good at that. And you don't think of it as being an important part of the you kind of ignore it because you concentrate on writing or concentrating on whatever your look.

But there's a there's a thing in how you say the words that gets into people's brains better.

Yes. And then if you're clunky, you know, and I've been clunky, we've all been clunky.

When you listen to old recordings, you know, there's moments we like. Oh, yeah.

Well, it's it's a lot of times because you're trying to figure out the best way to do it on the spot in real life.

And that should take especially with a complicated bit, it can take a long time to work out the details, especially with.

Yeah. Especially yeah. The more personal you are to. Yeah.

But when you get it is not the moment to do that yet. It, I don't want to say this but either on your bit because you're bitter about your son by name when you're adopting a white kid who is a fucking, it's one of those bits where you just go God damn, when someone builds a beautiful house you just go, oh shit.

Look at that.

Wow. I put that out.

If we got to do something with him, man, I did so well. When when when everything gets rolling again, I think we all need to realize, like, hey, you can't wait for shit.

No, because this can happen now that we know that this could happen. It doesn't feel real.

Here we are. We know it's real. Right. Right. We know it's real. We know you just got an antibody test. We know we can't really go anywhere. We can't go to restaurants. Everything's closed.

No comedy. We know it's real, but it still doesn't feel real. Doesn't feel real.

That's how weird life is. Yeah. In the moment, baby, you don't know what's next. Don't know what's next. In the moment.

In the moment. Welcome to In the Moment with Ellen and Joe Welkin.

They exist through funding, so please contact our Web site. From the moment into the moment, there's a that's a style of radio that you would get.

I was when I was delivering newspapers, I would listen to all things I think it was all things considered. Think something on NPR and.

National Public Radio, and they were so calm the way they would talk, he was so calm. I don't know if is all things considered, if I listen to that later, I feel like that was way later.

But it was a whatever considered, whatever those old school type of talk radio does, talk radio. That's what I knew. I was ready to get married. When I like listening to talk radio, when I'm ready to do what I want to hear people talk, I'm ready for a wife.

So nobody gets more riled up than white dudes who listen to conservative talk radio host Michael Savage.

Fans, those kind of guys. Rush Limbaugh.

There's something about me. How did that happen? Let's think about how that happened. Like how did that room how did that one genre. Yeah. Yeah.

That hardcore right wing like we did that got real angry. It's like an angry radio. It's like, oh yeah. Oh radio.

Yeah. It's like it, it's like a genre of music. Like you know how there's like hardcore rap. Yeah. There's metal, you know, there's like oh this right wing talk. Yeah.

It's like you feel he is right. It kind of is. And left wing talk to like NPR here. Welcome, welcome to our show. Yeah.

We're going to tell you about a new scientific experiment that shows that there are no such thing as genders and their right wing gender is a construct.

Yeah, there's a way that they talk. There's a calmness to the way they explain things and lay things out to make you seem like there's no ambiguity, ambiguity.

There's no question whether or not they're right. Yeah. And here's why.

In this case, then they always ask for money. If yes. Coronavirus did not come from a lab. It's a dangerous conspiracy.

And here's why why we talk to you now.

Expert Are you sure? I like you, man. I'm coming. I'm in to feel good.

I'm into it because I grew up listening to my favorite is like hip hop stations because they're always very excited.

Right. Put your hands up like. All right. And I love that energy, too.

But then you get to age like I just wanted some people just talking. Just talk. Normal voice Yeah. Just talk normal. Quiet. I want to fuck your voice. That's what that really is.

I want to fuck your voice. But I'm I'm low key about it. Hello. Yes, hello. Yes. I love wine.

I want to show your favorite I would do if I had to show NPR. Would you do it. What I do I be guest. Yeah, for sure.

Good talking to zero and I would purposely do like an Onion version of NPR.

I love it when I because I'm a sucker, I'm all it all animals are equal. Yeah. Oh we've talked to some animals. Yes. We feel like they're all equal.

I do want to do a parody of an NPR show because they, because now they play like dramatic music and shit today when they tell stories like and you'll be listening to it and then I'm like and then no, no, I'm confusing.

With The Daily Show, Radiolab isn't Radiolab, an NPR show is Radiolab put together by NPR.

Mike Thoughts on The Daily Show. They play the dramatic music. Oh yeah.

And then jump it. Good. I love it. I love it. Yeah. Whitney just told me about the deal and she said she was posting so great.

Here are three things you need to know. What's actually WNYC? I don't know if that's NPR.

Right. WNYC was the fake radio station of news radio. Yeah. I mean, when I was on that news radio sitcom, New York Public Radio.

So it's not National Public Radio, so it's not NPR, but it's something like that is some kind of public radio cousins.

Yeah, that's that's a great show. You're listening. Radiolab. No. Holy shit. I used to get angry at Brian Cowen because he would tell me something as if he had, like, gotten it from a book.

I go I listen to that same radio lab. You try to hit me with some scientific facts about what happened in World War Two. I go I listen to Radiolab too.

Bitch, stop. Just go, damn it.

Yeah, go. Brian, why are you pretending you read right to be smart.

Yeah, I say read and I really mean listen to the book.

Yeah. I was wondering, I was going to ask you that. Can you say that. Technically I do.

I lie. It's a lie. It's a dirty lie in there. I read this book. I never cracked a fucking page.

This is the book on Charles Manson, the CIA. This guy, Tom O'Neil. Yeah. Yeah. I had him on the podcast last week, bro.

This guy spent 20 years researching this book. Twenty years.

Twenty years is the craziest or just of how the book are created. But the story itself is bonkers.

They think that Charles Manson was a CIA asset and that they had let him get away with being released from parole, being he was on parole and he got arrested. They just let him out of jail like multiple times.

And they had this the same LSD studies they were running and Haight Ashbury in San Francisco, he went to that same clinic, the people that did mind control.

There were a part of Michael, there were feeding people LSD and trying to control their mind and manipulate their psychology. They're all connected to him and they kept letting him go. They were studying him. They wanted to they wanted to diminish the hippie movement. And they want to study what it's like when you see some fucking mad man who's spent half of his life in penitentiaries and you give him a ton of LSD and then fuck all the hippies he wants.

Holy shit, dude. It's a nutty book, man.

It is nutty. And he he details at all. Like there's more than 50 pages of references at the end of this book.

Citations and references. It's all heavily documented.

It's crazy. It's going to be a movie that won. Fuck you up, Jamie.

That one photo listening to the book. I'm Chapter 11 12. I just got through all the military stuff.

Jesus Christ. It's crazy. Did you get to the one where he was discussing about the guy who they think they fed LSD to and programmed him to go kill that kid?

Oh, did you get that one? He talked about it on the podcast.

I might have been. I might be right there. Yeah. Fuck.

And some of those that stuff now do. That's crazy. They did all kinds of experiments on people in the 60s and 70s because they just tried shit on people, man.

They still body doing it today, you think?

Well, we were showing a video of these British soldiers from 1964.

Yeah, but they they gave acid, too, and they just let them run around the field with fucking guns and they're laughing and falling down and giggling. You could watch the video. There's a video. It's online.

You fuck with acid. I have. Yeah. I mean, but I'm not taking it with a gun.

No. With a bunch of other troops.

No, not only that, like you're relying on those guys to keep it together on Acetophenone in Boston or wherever, you know. How good is this. Mike Tyson Weed is amazing. This is the stone on Smith.

Look at you. I know where you stand on the end of that baby.

Oh, it's legal. Is legal. We're we're in California. Oh, my God. It's crazy. I just thought of a mom watching this.

Oh, no. Tell her you're not breaking the law.

It's the same as having whiskey. Isn't it funny? It's like the whiskey part. No problem, right? Oh, this is great.

Soon as you bust out the weed, like, what are they doing? Really good. It's really good. So what's your estimation on when we're going to get out of this? If you had to guess next year. Next year?

Yeah, because I think it's going to be out and then the resurgence will be a second wave. Yeah. Yeah. Next year I feel like.

This time next year, that dude who said we have all been vaccinated, it was that mean I wish I knew. Was he talking to me? I wish I knew he was joking around or not.

I mean, he might have been a vaccine. I'm pretty adamant that he wasn't. But I'm an idiot. He made a joke around. It didn't sound like he was going around, just like he had a command of it. And it didn't sound like he was joking around. But I don't know that dude's personality. Right. That might be that thing that he does. You know, I mean, like, Calvin does a lot of that.

Yeah. He tells you that the say jokes that sound like statements. He does that all the time. You know, he's a funny.

I don't know. You think next year? Yeah, yeah, man, I mean, like you said, though, too, because, like, what's next? You know, is it going to be a gap between what this is and what's next? Yeah. Provided that there is nothing next. I feel like next year, just because we even know how to talking about how you can go to concerts, which is just six six feet apart.

Right. And that's not going to stop by the end of this year. That's going to be something that, you know, unless they do come up with a vaccine or some sort of really, really efficient treatment.

Right. Like some sort of statement. Yeah. And and but I do think it. I mean, they're hinting at saying it helps if you're healthier, if you do work out all the things that we as a collective society should have been doing right now may start to take precedence.

So but I feel like. As far as with our livelihood is concerned about performing in front of people, again, I feel like next year because it's two sided, is us wanting to be on stage and in the audience for the safe being Jesus. So I think fun next year.

I think how many people are going to fall apart? How commerce can I make a living? Guys who are doing the road criminal acts. That's a great question. I know, man, like we don't know yet. Right now, everybody's sort of floating, right? Yeah, it's been a month and everybody's like, whoa. Yeah. Everyone's just sort of floating.

Like, what happens to those people that were they had a system, they were doing good. Then all of a sudden the rug gets pulled out from under them.

I don't know. Jesus, on that, if I got you high, you'd have all the answers I do have I have some answers, but what they need to do, Brother Joe, is. Yeah, I think they I mean, think of that sector checking it. You can. I don't know, man, people. Have you ever been contacted about doing anything online, being funny online? Those things are preposterous.

I said I won't do it. I want to donate. I'll give you money. Right. I know. No trying to raise money. I'll just give you money on just how much took.

Just a cluster fuck. I'd love to do a show. Once we're back, I'll do shows for free. I'd be happy to do that. Yeah, I'd be happy to do a bunch of shows. I want to be as well as I like donate. I heard.

Yeah, I'd love to be able to if someone had a problem. I'd love to be able to sell out the Comedy Store. Yeah. Give them that money. Yeah.

I mean it's a nice feeling to because it's like there's shows that you do where you, it benefits people. There's an extra nice feeling. So you get the nice feeling of the show.

Yeah. Doing your bits, the bits make everybody laugh, you get all that nice feeling and then you get the nice feel of that. All went to a good thing.

It feels great man. Charity shows like my favorite shows because of this.

The way they make you feel. Yeah. Like this is cool.

We all got together, made some money for the charity and had fun and then it helps the money goes to a good cause.

Yeah. We should do a lot of those men.

I'm down, I'm down to do them all the time. Yeah. We should do them. I should probably figure out one to do a week once we get cracking again.

Yeah. And just do one a week. That's just a benefit for, for something.

We'll figure something out. The day I could sell out something of my name, I'm gonna be somebody doing it.

That's not going to be far. As soon as people see yeah, you're in a weird position man, when you have this incredible act. But people don't know.

It's it's a sneaky thing because once you pop, the hardest part is being funny. Like you've got that. Yeah.

It's like you spent so much time writing, you know. Yeah. Doing commercials.

Yeah. Well, you spent so much time where you're in the machine and not just fully dedicated to be out there as a comic.

What if somebody wants to. But if a network wants to pick up notebook's should I do it or should I stay on YouTube, if they want to give you money, do it. OK, but it is enough money.

But you could definitely do whatever you want if it's on YouTube.

And it should probably make some money once people become more aware of it and people start downloading a lot of them. They're funny, man.

It's like and it's also everybody's got something from when they started and everyone connected.

And it's good for people to see that.

You know, people that you see with like our full Netflix special now at one point time were terrible, Garba, this guy was garbage, but that's how you get better at it. You've got to keep doing it and there's no other way around it. That's one of the things that I like about it is in a lot of ways, comedy's a real meritocracy.

Yes, I give people a laugh.

If they enjoy your stuff, then it works and then it continues. And you keep people keep coming to your shows and you keep having fun.

Yeah, there's a reward to that kind of a thing. Yeah. Especially when you don't have any collaborators just putting it together yourself. Yeah. But now we appreciate it more. Yeah, that's very true. I appreciate it. I just hope that clubs here, when everything's said and done, you know, that's the real scary thing, is how many of these businesses are going to go under this? Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's plan on doing a lot of free shows. I know. All right, let's wrap it up, man. Always, brother. Always. Oh, Owen Smith, TV spots on YouTube.

Subscribe shows called The Notebooks. Notebooks. No, ladies, it's not like that movie that makes you cry.

Like you can't take that. You can't even take that name.

What is your all your Instagram and Odaka to text me literally. And then Owen Smith for real on everything else. Beautiful. Thank you, sir. Always a pleasure, my brother.

Bye, everybody. Bye. Thank you, friends, for tuning into the show. This episode of the podcast has been brought to you by Stamps.com folks.

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All right friends. That's it. We did it went and I got lit. He's an awesome guy and I swear when everything gets back to normal and I do some shows and bring him on the road with me, you guys are going to realize I'm not bullshitting. He's one of the best comics alive. You just don't know yet. All right. Thank you, everybody. I hope you're hanging in out there. I hope everybody's well and much loved you all by.