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And they're doing some stuff together. He's just a brilliant comic and a brilliant guy.

Please welcome Kurt Metzger government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience Train by Day.

Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. And we thought, hey, look at you smoke a blunt, I know.

This is your celebratory, but holy shit, I'm still a little bit but in like an AIDS test.

But you clean. I know it's. But you knew you were healthy. You feel good. Yeah. I haven't felt like I had something.

So you were worried you weren't asymptomatic people? Yeah. They said as many as 60 to 70 percent could be asymptomatic. Right.

So, like, I don't want to I don't have it, but then I got to drive all the way. That's why it's such a creepy disease.

Like there was an Anderson Cooper thing I was we were talking about earlier where the mayor of Las Vegas was on with Anderson Cooper.

Oh, yeah. And he was describing to her how one asymptomatic people person can go to a restaurant. And it showed this chart of all the people that infected got infected by this one.

So he's trying to say, in fact, they just they're just there. Yeah. So he's trying to tell this is completely theoretical.

First of all, I don't know the people that are saying this from I mean I mean, maybe they touched the same things. Maybe there was a bunch of different factors. I don't know. I'm guessing it was just because of the air, but I don't trust a goddamn thing they're saying that's coming from China. Yeah. Anything they say, if they're saying something that's been approved by the government. Right. You know what I mean? It's not like it's a paper.

The Epic Times. There's like a paper. The I think it's Epoch Times says that it's like they'll be critical of China.

But I think the guy that owns it is a Falun Gong guy.

So I've seen criticism difference.

Well, Falun Gong that that persecuted taiki religion in China. Oh, really? China is fucking crazy.

Dark Times is a multi language was founded in 2000 by John Tang and a group of Chinese Americans associated with the Falun Gong spiritual movement. So who is he again?

I don't know who John Tang is. Not Falun Gong. Falun Gong. It's like Tai Chi.

But I guess China considers it a cult.

Why? So they crack down on them like they're wiggers and.

Oh, no. Yeah, and it's.

Yes, just like meditation and qigong exercises with a moral philosophy centered on tenets of truthfulness, compassion and forbearance. Holy fuck. I might have to join.

I know I've been looking for a good call the epic times guys get. I've been saying this for years. I want a good call to come up with a good one.

Yeah, that doesn't try to fuck me, doesn't take all my money and it's not like you're all against a bang everybody's wife.

So that's okay. I'll bet your life I'm going to bang your wife. They always play out like that.

They do that gorilla, that fucking classic chimpanzee. Right, right, right. Dominance thing where you lose face and balls and then. Yeah well I would say Jehovah's Witnesses was a good call if I say that, because I'm not really better at Jehovah's Witnesses.

Well, let's tell everybody doesn't know you because people might not be aware of your background. You grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. You're one of my friends that has, like the most rock solid rules are not tolerating horseshit.

And because when people start bullshitting saying, not you, you're always the guy that's like, I know where this goes.

Yeah, I know for something like that, I'm hyper I am very hyper sensitive to koltai. Yeah. I just don't want to go along with a thing because you have to go along with it. Right. And like, come on, we're doing this, that attitude is important.

Well I just that's the reason I left Jehovah's Witnesses. Of course I didn't want to have that.

Then when I got out in the world that you can't escape it like the people, all these people that claiming to be secular, that that jump down your throat like online or something like say it's all the same shit, but they just got rid of the the guy.

Yeah. They got rid of Jesus Christ. They just got rid of that. And it's bullshit.

It's a pattern. Yeah. Like I guess a set of habits. Yeah. Comforting a comforting routine I guess.

But it's, I mean the thing when, when people do it to people like it's it's almost like whether they're doing it because you're not a believer in Jesus or you doing it because you're not a vegan or you're doing it because you don't support gender pronoun freedom. Right.

Whatever it is like that hard core sort of you can sort of fit that mind into a bunch of different slok.

Yeah, there's this is what I do believe from religious people. There is a human need for what religion fills. And it's like, you know, hey, great, you got rid of Saddam, but now who's taken over? I'm not so gung ho on the like. We all we need to get rid of like the bill. My level of atheism was like grow up or die like that.

Like, I think he's not understanding. You know, some people need that. And it's not nothing to do with smart or stupid. It's a just a very deep feeling of belonging.

And if you don't get it from God, there's going to be you know, there's worse shit to get it from.

Yes. Yes. There's some moral tenants, if you like, you really adopt Christianity. Some of my favorite people are Christians and pretty hardcore Christians, people that are really like, well.

Like, here's one. Listen, if you ever met a Christian, they're delightful, just they're like unicorns. There's probably like three of them.

The rest of the people are on a football team, you know, who's a real Christian, like in like an admirable sense. The word is Chris Pratt. Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, I've heard that I've never met as one of the nicest guys I've ever met, he's so nice and genuine and right there with everyone. He's very religious.

But I'll tell you what, man, if that's what it is, it's like if following those tenets, the way that guy does, it turns you into that kind of a person. He's an adult.

That's how you're supposed to it's not supposed to be you know, you're preaching at people. Your behavior is supposed to be the witness. Right. And so people come into it a lot of times. That's why they do. They go, well, I saw this guy. I'm like, if that's what that is, I want to be that.

You know, it's like it's like the God abandoned the goofy stories. If they just came out and said, listen, it's our belief that living in this way with this belief in a higher power, and that holds you to a higher standard of behavior, if all of that, along with these tenants, you know, loving thy neighbor and treating each other as brothers and sisters, as if we were all one, if we just saw that, you just got to stop saying someone came back from the dead.

You've got to stop saying even those stories, even those goofy stories, which I always would say that saying that. But, you know, when I left. But a lot of work is still work as metaphors, you know.

Yes. The ones that there's people at all levels of sports and they all need a thing to get on board. So some people need a goofy story to get on board. Like I said, I don't think that's the linchpin that's harming it. I think it's just I don't I don't believe that it transforms people's hearts. Like there's people that I saw when I was in my in droves witnesses that they had a fucked up life, that they turned around OK.

But I don't think that that it fundamentally changed anything but their behavior.

They were just who they were. And this gave them a window to be, you know, like scaffolding.

You just need something to sort of build a structured on to let people know about the structure.

Right.

So so, you know, but if you're a psychopath, it's not going to change you into a not a psychopath. Right. It's going to make it's going to be horrible because you can apply your psychopathic tendencies to the religion when you see that.

Right. The worst of the evangelists. That's what you're seeing, right? You're seeing a con man who's found a tool that's beyond reproach.

Well, some of them are just like, you know, they're like almost like same as Marilyn Manson when he you know, he had his thing that he did Marilyn Manson.

But he was ultimately like a guy that's going to play golf, like Alice Cooper, like he said, hey, man, I'm doing a show here.

That's what those guys, you know, Steve Martin made that movie. What is it called?

Where he's leap of faith. He plays like a TV preacher.

And he because he saw this documentary about a real guy named Marjoe who copied Mick Jagger.

So he would go to these churches and do like moves like Jagger for these old ladies.

And he would talk about it and he was just openly saying how it was a scam. Anything you're making money off of like that, it doesn't go together for, you know, that's how, you know, automatically the guy's full of shit because he's making a ton of money off it.

If you're a preacher. Yeah.

You're not supposed to get. How come Jesus didn't get rich. Right.

And especially when you get, like, arena rich, like you buying a right. Like, what's the guy's name, rich enough. That guy, Joel Osteen. Yeah. These guys come out of nowhere. He's trying to do the least harm. Singers like Pop Star, right. I don't know about them until they get so huge that they break through the public dacula like it's like pops like I just learned who Billy Eilish was.

I didn't know this whole time. Yeah.

She doesn't know who my sister had to inform me about Adele.

She goes, you know that song, hello? I go, No, I don't know that song. You never had heard it. Just like, no, no.

I've been fortunate to dodge a lot of money so her not in a bad way against which I think she's got an amazing voice. But you just haven't seen a lot more shit.

I do. I'm a very talented old white guy who likes rap music and classic rock.

Hey, I've just no way I like my classic rock. I like Led Zeppelin.

I'm like, oh, you're like, so you knew who I was. Not like Billy Elliot. Oh, yeah, of course, dude.

Van Halen. But it's just like at a certain point times, like, I'm taking in too much music.

I don't have time for all this new stuff.

Yeah, well, it's like I was like, why don't we just talking about it different. Yeah. Something I didn't care about like.

Well you know what's interesting about music is like our lifetimes and our parents lifetimes are like the first times in human history where people had music collected or they could listen to it over and over and over again right there.

Our grandparents were like probably the first like my grandparents came over from Italy and from Ireland in the early 1980s. So when they were coming over here, I guess they had record players.

But how prevalent were they and what kind of music did they have in like, you know, I thought they had to, like, stand around the window, over each person's house, like like people see somebody playing a slave, Chris, the handle.

But like, where was the recordings? You know, I'm saying like they weren't that prevalent. If there were right. There certainly were some you know, they had recorded music before then. But it's not like you. It's on your phone, didn't we send, you know, that that gold record we sent into space, that is like a picture of like a trans phobic picture of a man and a woman dressed as a woman of a dress, a woman has a dress and then just those two.

Doesn't she just have breasts? But she's she's.

Do you know what the image looks like? It's hilarious. You know, that the music like blues guy, like old old Catfish Williams, you know, like some sometimes. Yeah, yeah.

They just got some cool shit to make us look interesting. It's a very bizarre drawing. Yeah. It's on goals. They sent it on a gold plate. You know, it was like a gold plate.

And then but the drawings made me laugh because they are like stick figures.

Like I watch that movie contact the other night with Jodie Foster. Yeah. Fuck, it's amazing.

It just got out like it was. Holy shit. Is that a good love?

It's good. But you weren't in the way that the aliens are like we're going to look like your dead father because you couldn't handle.

No, I can't handle seeing aliens.

Is it. Is that. Yeah, but there's images.

Yeah. You've got to flip it over to the side. Yeah. There it is on the other side. That's Yeah.

Where's the man and woman. Um wasn't the but the last time she has two tits on the bottom. Where is, where is it.

Isn't it in there though. Yeah. I thought there was. Hmm. Maybe it's something else we're thinking of. I don't know.

But I swear there were images on that of what they were looking at. So like why is different disks have different images.

There's not more than one disk, is there?

Are we sending mixed messages to them?

Oh, there is. Something's coming up. But it's not a picture on the gold thing.

Are there titties on this record? What do they look like?

Is it recognizable? It's like someone just drew it, though, on piece of paper. Like I said, this is on there, the pioneer plaque.

OK, the well, whatever it is in the movie Contact, they got that recording and they sent it back to Earth. Yeah.

And that movie like it had a cool like how it might go down now about it so much about it was cool. It's just the end. And it was like come on man.

And the guy who blew himself up like the religious to, to prove himself up like that was a little cartoon, I swear. I thought you're just going to say the guy who blew himself up like that was an interesting point. I didn't the spoiler alert. Yeah. Who was the guy that blew himself up?

I think it's Gary Busey, son. I think that's right. He's great in it.

I met that guy recently and also the idea that so, you know, it's something he's great in this movie. This is like a piece of paper called. Oh, that's it. That's it right there. This is not the same as that gold thing. OK, this was seventy two. The gold thing was seventy three. Oh OK.

So well this was the first one and then the record was a different thing. Oh OK. We conflated the two so go to the image again.

Let me see the image. Let me see you guys. The guys don't go to the one on the left.

That one right there. Yeah. Make that one big what they're going to think dong's he's like, hi, here's my dick and Jerry. Now most human dicks don't come past the boss.

And I like how the head of the woman built like a real woman.

She's not like a porn star woman. Well, where's your game? A little bit of an ass.

Her penis, you know, he's like, hi, where's I don't have women in here. Isn't that I mean, it's a great show up and think we're down to party and everybody's all bundled up.

Well, that image is showing us how ridiculous we like assume the aliens would think our clothes are.

Yeah. What if the aliens send theirs back and they're fully clothed? And why don't you guys check the signal tech, you fucking weirdo intergalactic. Take the picture. We actually said a dick.

Pick the space. It's an intergalactic dick pic and it's an unnecessary dick. Pictou Like no one looks like that. And when they're waving to you, right. That's very like that's sending a bad message.

Like, I'm naked here I am.

No way they can be like, hey, man, where the fuck did you come from? We can't just look at my dick and balls. This is weird.

I like that they didn't really put a vagina. They just put like, here's the important.

But well, you see the penis clearly in the vagina. Barbie doll, the Barbie doll, the the woman's a little Barbie doll.

Where's her pubes. Where's everybody's pubes. Are this. We're all set. This is a porno set. How come they got hair in their head. They don't have hair in their box.

Well, when was this sent out?

They probably did a semi to the hair is hairy as fuck. This is misleading. This is so they were very futuristic back when they were really into porn. They were way ahead of their time.

Why is the guy has such Caucasian hair? That's my other question. Right, right.

Look, what percentage of the population has hair that looks like that.

It looks like a young Noam Chomsky hair. It's just a weird image. It's very weird how aliens. Yeah, he's my dick. But it's also it's like it's weird and just that. We're kind of acknowledging that superior intellects would think clothes are weird. Is that what that is?

Yeah, we're letting them know, like underneath all our Adidas and our fucking jeans.

They must have argued about that.

They must have like a long conversation or, oh, these fucking the people that are funding this are like, really we drawn a dick and send it out to the aliens. Well, who is funding it?

I don't know. I know. I mean, who is who's making the call? Sounds like the cowboy guy from The Simpsons was probably a Nazi.

Oh, yeah.

That yeah. Honestly. Like, legitimate. That's right. We could all like Wernher von Braun and.

Yeah, dude, Wernher von Braun was a legit Nazi. These to hang the slowest Jews in front of his rocket factory in Berlin.

Yeah. Oh, dude. This Simon Wiesenthal Center said that he was alive.

They'd prosecute him for crimes against humanity.

I mean, the slowest do they ever race had something where they would make everybody work faster and harder by killing.

Oh, he almost slowed you. That's what put the slowest guys, the slowest girls, whoever they you know, it's the Jewish prisoners.

And they would hang them. Yeah, dude, there's I remember him from, like a Disney thing about rocket science. He was a part of Operation Paperclip, right? There he is right there in Operation Paperclip, imported all these Nazi scientists to run NASA.

I knew that, but I didn't miss the part of that, I thought he was always like, no, I wasn't with those guys. Just look at him chillin.

Go to that picture again. I'm sorry. Just stop and think about that.

This dude was a Nazi in Germany during World War Two, comes back and he's running our space program with his feet up to want to go to space or you want to get hung up on people's Nazi past for real.

You want to get a dick pic to space or not.

They got this genius bilingual motherfucker to come over here and show us how rockets are done. They were ahead. They were hit with rockets. They were head with engineering.

A tell goes they all besides because they plug an extension cord into a Jew to try to invent a computer.

It's how I miss him. Yeah.

He's the guy that, like, I don't want him to not be doing stand up.

I like this downtime. You know, he's I mean, I don't know anybody does as many sets as Dave like I did.

I called because I know it's him call because he's got there's no you know, he says, no, no. It's like a really ungodly hour.

Like he was killing me, too. He wanted to make a prank show called Pakistan or it's just Middle Easterners doing pranks, people the most inappropriate pranks like.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He shouldn't be taking time off. When do you think, Justin, just do you think we'll be able to stand up again if you're always going to ask you.

Oh, shit, that's the problem, right? When everyone can get a test for covid-19? No, the problem is when you think that'll be it.

I don't know. I didn't I didn't realize that the tests were so just there around. I thought, is it just in some states they don't have the test?

Well, some places don't have them. And there's there's that there's also that there's some tests that are FDA approved and some aren't. And why that that is the case? I'm not going to speculate because I really wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

Probably whoever fucking could be, I don't know.

I would be pretending if I knew whoever flew on the Eppstein plane with the FDA.

But the company I use is they're very confident that their tests work.

And they say even though they're not FDA approved, if they're for your well-being, for your own knowledge, is it that they're incorrect mostly with false positives or they won't tell you and you did have it?

I don't know. It's a good question because they're good. If they tell you that you had it and you didn't, that's not quite as bad. Yeah, it's a little more safe than sorry that the doctor said they've had many positives.

They've had plenty of positives and a lot of people that just had like a little bit of a cough for a few days and went away.

And it turned out to be positive. Really? Yeah. And some people with no symptoms at all.

OK, so if you just had a cough and went away in a few days, does that mean you don't get.

That's a good question. Right. Does that mean. Yeah. No, no one knows. They don't know. They really don't know.

It's a it's a new disease. Whenever something's new, it's like there's guesswork going on. It's like who knows. They don't really exactly know. They know a few things about it. They're learning. Right.

They're getting lots of help from China. Plenty of help is there. The lady, the Las Vegas mayor, those as well say before Anderson Cooper, Anderson is explaining this to her. And he's like in a restaurant like China. This is Las Vegas, Nevada. This is in China.

He actually said to her, wow, that's very ignorant.

Like it was. That's an incredible it was a it was it was indicative of how those are, first of all, is indicative of how those are not real conversations.

Yeah, right. You're going to talk about something that complicated. It shouldn't be. You're over there. I'm over here. There's like a fucking thing in your ear. You don't even seem right and you're just talking into a camera, which is what a lot of those are.

I love to Anderson Cooper is one of the ones that loves having one of these, like, pretend performative. Oh, I can't believe this.

And he's like, keep it going. Keep it coming, baby.

What's it gonna remember him was Donald Sterling with Donald Sterling. It's like when Magic had those AIDS. I used to pray for him and Alicia and I watched Anderson Cooper having a warning. It might be kind of shocking. Like, is it like it looked like he was holding in Gissing, his pants every time the guy would say another word?

Well, he's very good at his job. He must enjoy some of that, must enjoy catching people saying stupid shit like that.

I mean, that's like this is Las Vegas, Nevada. I mean I mean, the disease doesn't spread the same way.

People from Vegas, first of all, people from Vegas are from the whole world. That's what's ridiculous.

But there's a ton of Chinese people gamble a lot. I like this problem in Vegas before anywhere.

Well, they build casinos to the standards of Chinese people.

Like if there's things that are not feng shui, like, here's an example. The MGM get had a walk in through the mouth of a. Black people will check, please, when I walk into a lion's mouth. They have changed us. Yes, it's bad luck. You can't walk into a fucking lion's mouth. It does make sense, by the way. It totally makes sense. What do you stupid? You know, I have superstition.

Now that you mention, if you're gambling, you're like, come on to take these motherfuckers down and you walk into a lion's head, you're like, God damn it, it's a trap. I'm so stupid.

I walked into, like, executively, can they make it like a dragon's head or like a better luck animal? I don't think you're allowed to walk through an animal's head. I mean, the animal's eating you. They're more sensible about it than we are.

What if it's a very lucky dragon and it's got to be good? Yeah, it's like you've got to be in the belly of the beast in order to get the magic.

No, they're not dumb. They're not going to go through that fucking lion's mouth on their way to a den of gambling, trying to win money from this multibillion dollar movie.

If you didn't slaughter every rare animal to get a fucking six inch boner, you could you wouldn't have these bad luck problems.

Dude, magin that whole rhino horn thing, like you're over some dudes like. Would you like some rheinhardt it the principle of the principle is literally just because it has a fucking horn that looks like kind of like a dick. Yeah, I don't have anything dick like on your person has an animal in China because you will somebody will be like that. Somebody's got to snort powder of that.

I talked to a friend of mine about this who is he knows a lot about Chinese culture. And what he said was that it's not really that they think it's going to give him a boner because they know about Viagra, but it's that it shows that you have this.

Yeah, that's a very difficult thing to get. Did you ever go there? I've never been to China. I've been to Taiwan, though Taiwan is very different.

I think I've never been to Taiwan. But I went to the, you know, mainland, the big island of China.

Yeah. And it's it was the most materialistic, like, you know, having big labels on your Lesley's fake Ed Hardy jackets that I guess are very expensive.

And it would have like a like no mini pearl that had that big price tag on her. It's like that big.

And it'd be hanging off a very obviously not Ed Hardy dude.

There's a sneaker where it's in style to wear the label. We had a shit fit about it on this podcast. What's it called again, Jamie?

Yeah, well, off white shoes. There you go. Thank you. It's a giant plastic tag. I hope it's a GPS tracker that just tracks dummies.

It might be I at all these dummies with these tags on their feet. Look, you know, I mean, let's see what they do. The people that keep that shit on their feet. Let's see what they are.

That's the biggest insult you could say. Someone like you. I heard your poor like. That's a terrible, terrible insult there.

Why was it say, I heard you're poor.

It's just a way that people insult each other like, oh, you're poor. Like, oh, that's the meanest thing you can say. I mean, it's probably not the meanest. I go walk in a tiger mouth is the meanest.

But so if someone said you're talking about in China. Yeah. So if someone says, I heard you're poor, that's like the worst insult they could say.

Calling you poor. Not the I heard part is just that's just how it came out. Just calling you pause like the ultimate insult.

Yeah. So everything it's like an 80s movie bully. Yeah.

You know what's important about that, whether it's North Korea or China, it's important for us to realize that their styles of living that work and one of the big one that works is freedom. Yeah, right.

And this is the best place for that freedom style of living is right here. And then you realize that in this same day and age, not a small country, but a country with three times as many people as us can be controlled by a military dictatorship.

Well, I was shocked. It sounds like a weird thing to say, but I was shocked by how much more freedoms they had.

And I don't mean you're not free to like, hey, fuck you, the government. You're not at all. Don't eat at all.

You can't if you said anything like that, they would come after, you know, the way the economy, like you say, when any political job you want is nothing about China. And at the time I was like, oh, I don't know anything about China. So fine.

So but you could just smoke wherever, like the hospital.

You guys like my friend, we went to go eat at some hot pot place that was like eating like Chinese food I had was hot pot at school and we couldn't find parking and he fucking parked on some stairs like the front stairs to bit. He just parked like that. And I was like, are you allowed to park here is fine. It's late. The cops went home after school night. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So that's why they had to have that.

So, you know, it is like 1984 ish. But that social credit system where they. Yeah. They can't possibly police that. Many people in the cities I went to were like three New York, New York City cities all next to each other in like it's enormous. It's like fucking a Judge Dredd. It looked like going the future as well. It looked like everybody had a mask on. I got a theory, man.

And my theory is, if you look at all the old old cultures, like so many of the old old culture for parts of Europe, but a lot of the old Asian cultures, they still like they've been around a lot like what country he's been around longer than Guy.

It's a massive point of pride. It's like you get an inverse, kind of like in America. It's like new money compared to old money, like the.

But my point was, I wonder if, like, after a certain amount of years, even like a real valid democracy eventually gives in to the weight of people's instincts to control each other.

I wonder if, like that's like China, China's what is controlling. It's the longest surviving country. Right.

Somebody told me that one of their have had the same government this entire time, you know, instead of a dynasty. It's just like the generals kids shit. Exactly. And so this guy is like there it's just been the same way forever and you just change the names of stuff. So that's really what communism is. That's the part of communism they're taking is like the state control. Yeah. But they have like a very like no welfare system kind of.

It feels like an 80s movie. Like, greed is good if it has that feeling about, you know what I mean? And also I was shocked how good the comics were really like. Yeah, well, all the streaming stuff is there. So, you know, whatever they've seen all your comedy.

So they have like I was just surprised, like, oh, this is like like they get how to do standup.

So where they were, they expats were the people that lived there.

Shows I did were there were expats and also people from there. And that's cool.

But it's got to be a tricky tightrope to walk. Doing standup in China.

Do not. Well, I had nothing to say about China. I didn't know any of the free stuff at the time.

Yeah, but I mean, for someone like someone who does stand up there in China, like locals, you have to more I think we have to worry about as another business because popular people like it. But let's see, some guy down the block runs a bar. Mm hmm. And he's jealous that you're getting business. He can go to the Interior Ministry people and go there putting any communist propaganda out. And then something a of and he you know, he knew people at the ministry and they go, listen, we know you weren't doing that, but you just can't do shows for six months because merely because someone reported it, we have to do that.

So that's the that's the Sharia.

This is one of the that instinct that people have to do things like that. It's one of the reasons why I got so upset when L.A. started offering rewards.

Snitches get wishes on social social distancing violators. Yeah.

So if someone is like Hi5 and his neighbor or you go over the next door neighbor's house, you have dinner or something like that, like people are sencion people out for money.

I was already reporting people for high fives before this virus. People are like they're getting very into. Well, don't you think they just figured out, like the people like that, because when they say first thing for his head, people didn't. It was funny watching, especially like the social jihadis trying to figure out what side of this they're on. Right. And they're like, oh, I don't know. So for a little bit, they were like, OK, whatever Trump says, I'm against that.

And then now it's more on the OK, you got a social distance that like enforcing it. It seems like that that group went to that now. Yeah. And also policing. Who gets test it. Yeah.

Well, it seems like this is the new thing, right. It's like here's the new thing to be outraged about. It's like who is going outside without a mask? Who is doing this without gloves.

So you have to transfer your business like that is a big business before this. And it's like, how do I adjust my business?

Which is because I don't think anyone is outraged right now. One is outrageous.

I mean, do you think they aren't or do you think they are false? They're foolishly focusing on things that are not as important.

Well, that's if you are serious about it. But that's not the people that, like, you know, make a living off doing it. If I see it in the media, then it's not sincere.

Well, there's there's a lot of that for sure. But there's a lot of things you can't rule out, people actually being upset about something that's legitimately upsetting.

Like unless you're making it's almost like the thing we're talking about the preacher thing. If you're getting rich off it, I don't believe.

Well, the problem is it's like a cry wolf thing.

It's like there are some things that like, did you see the Elon Musk beef that he got in with someone who is a reporter for CNN? Yeah.

Why? OK, why are they so anti him?

I don't know. I don't know. But it didn't make any sense because he said the liberator thing. Yeah. And he said, are you aware that there's a search function?

And then we played little semantic games to sorry. Retweeting these different nurses that are showing these respirators and they're like thanking him and smiling and and holding up this sign. And he showed all the different places that are getting these respirators and explained.

And they're still like they're not going to go back on it because so so now they're now well, they're not technically respirators. They're a different kind of thing. It was different.

I was different once or different places.

I believe it's one's hospitals asked him to get and they are respirators. They're noninvasive.

It's pat machines. It's a word. Yes, but it's pumping oxygen into your into your lungs. Right. It's a type of a respirator isn't I don't know.

I don't have covid-19. I got tested. Well, you just take congratulations.

I don't I'm, I'm talking out of my ass. But I do know that oxygen goes into those things. I mean, that's that's the whole reason why technically people wear them. Yeah, no, they are they're a kind of ventilator.

And the hospital said, could you get these for us all the shit to give someone a hard time about. It's like he's there articulating these things. He trashed the media to me on Twitter. Be like and what if it doesn't the press suck. So it's like if you like hero cop killer or something like.

Right. This is if you go on YouTube, this guy, Alex or Alec Bostwick, he's a reporter.

And you do. I caught a video has explain it. It's like cops, like the media, like cops and a PR person is your lawyer. So you don't ever talk to the cops without a lawyer, you know that. You know, and they have.

And we need journalists. We need. Cops, but the people that abuser, they're corrupt, which is like a lot of them to so many people doing it right. There's different styles of doing it.

Well, there's a certain amount of like serving, collect, wear. So now these people that we're talking about covid-19 like they didn't know how to handle this for their business of like we got to condemn people. Seems like a fossil fuel. They're almost out of.

Right of picking your tweets. They're like, well, how far back do you like your fossil fuel, the and the like?

And it's like there's ones they're saving, like, OK, we have these old black face pics of like Tom Hanks or something.

Yeah. Like what about these Indian baseball teams. Yeah. Right. Or the Braves. The Indians.

Did they just somebody get mad at Adam Driver because of this one was crazy because he I don't know, even know he's in the military but he went and served in Iraq because after 9/11 he wanted to go fight against you know, he said you had it. He goes nothing against Muslims.

I have a feeling of I want to go fight whoever attacked it. So he's Islamophobic.

There's a whole Twitter Islamophobia thing, which is wildy. That's how far disconnected Twitter is, that section of Twitter. That doesn't that's how absolutely fucking break from reality.

Well, it's it it's a new form of communication. And through this new form of communication, people have strengthened ideologies.

Right, for good or for bad. And I think that's just part of what that is. That's part of what that is with outrage Twitter. But it's also part of what that is with all the good stuff, like the scientific debate, Twitter and people talking about different issues in the calm, collected way, let's can't throw out the baby with the bathwater. There's some there's a lot of good to what's going on with, like, weird online social discourse.

But you're definitely seeing people get in enraged and flamed more often.

Well, by the way, when you brought up the cult thing in the beginning, that's what it is. It's like, yeah, that's a certain kind of cult. And you can't talk anybody out of being in a cult like especially when I was like a deep believer. No one would have you wouldn't show me any evidence or anything that would have made me turn for my cult. When people leave, it's because it didn't when you needed it to do what it's supposed to do.

It didn't do that for you when you needed it. So that's how people leave. They don't leave because you tell them they're stupid or any of that. So all these Soke just types the same way as it fails for them. You could see people now like I'm not doing Jamie Kilstein first. Right.

He's the he's the best example, in my opinion, because he's been, like, really honest about. Right.

How gross he felt when he was, like, attacked. I talked to him at Twitter. Yeah. And he was like a cool guy. It was crazy. Yeah.

And then they went after him and he was like, oh, shit. Like, no one's safe. Well, so that's that's the it's the running out of fuel for these fucking things. So so that's why I feel. Yeah. I mean they're just going to dig through all of it and it's like polluting and it's that's why they go into like eighty three.

Nineteen eighty three.

You touched someone's vagina who is nineteen eighty three. Ninety three, nineteen eighties one was actually the guy from Star Trek who got in trouble.

Who. Pacard. No no no. The guy was always on Howard Stern Show. Sulu you know.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sulu, George Takei. He grabbed the vagina you say downwith he grabbed someone's penis or something OK. In 1983 or something like that. Like legitimately like talking about in the 80s.

I mean it sounds about right. Yeah.

You said it never happened, but it's like when if they run out of outrage, if people like really run out of outrage and they go searching for it and all that, those are very like there's a lot of movies that if you went and went searching for them, like outrage, you get really mad if you were looking at your watch.

Yeah, right. Well, people looking at Ace Ventura, pet detective.

Oh, yeah. This man at that point to you, which is the one the one he goes to Africa. I just watch I recently it was an Ace Ventura.

What was the one where Shawn. Yeah. Was it. It was. That was right where it turns out she was a guy close Einhorn I sort of think. Oh no, that's right. That is right.

That is part one. All right. Yeah. There are so many old movies, man. I watched Tommy Boy the other day. There's so many movies that have scenes you couldn't do.

Now they're fucking 30 Rock is all things you could do. Yeah, no shit. Well, you could do it happen. You can't do them on like the network.

This is the thing this part of the reason for the the mad grab for like outrageous things is like stuff like this or anything YouTube or all that shit is eating up their lunch. And so they, they went all in selling to the fucking whatever the whatever the idea of a millennial on Twitter was.

Yeah. That's what people were pandering to and they called it on South Park. Do you remember the episode of what's his name, PC Principal, where they introduced PC principal? So there's a scene where there is two forms like, well, PC is back. How long you think is going to be this time? I goes six years and I'll be goddamned. It was back in 2015 and now this shit's Peter. Now is about six years. Yeah.

People get mad and then it's like it's like a jack rabbit thing like this.

Like populations, jackrabbits, they go up and down like every seven years. It's very little.

Fisk Yes, it is. Oh that's right.

I think ideas could very well be like diseases and that, you know, they, they come and go and don't like big ones stick. You know, Big Brother, it's a religion.

The ones that have like this I think is going to be an Ebola. Ultimately, the the social justice thing is this is to burn itself out too much.

Well, too many people inside of it got attacked and felt what it was like to be misrepresented.

Yeah. And there's no there's no fallback or also not nice look like if you're supposed to be the good person.

Right.

If you're if you really like someone social justice warrior, one of the first thing they think is that they're doing a good thing and that they are they have an intelligent philosophy. Right. It's a it's not an idiot's way of looking at the world. It's an intelligent way of looking at the world.

Right. And the only way in the eyes. Right.

Because they get ideologically driven. But I don't think they realize that a big part, if you if you act that way, you're attacking people. I think you realize a big part of being a person is learning how to be nice to each other. And if you just go out of your way to attack people, you don't ever get those people to change their mind. What you what you do is you get those people mad at you. You get those people sad.

They feel upset.

That sounds like the human interaction fades. And these are Internet people. But you can't you can't, like, get them to listen to your opinion and take it seriously. Disrespectful. That's just a tenet of human beings.

Right. And it's all. Yeah, absolutely. They're socially fucked up people that are engaging in these online wars. Right. And they're doing it for these little adrenaline bursts and these little dopamine hits.

And there's something that is why I do anything. But, yeah, no, it's a it's a weakness. But that's how you get like that is not having to look at someone and say anything, you know, so so it's just going to burn out because there's no you know, like Christianity is a very that's a Corona that's going to be around it's been around a long time.

Yeah.

It was like that game locked up. They got their own country coronavirus.

You can get a get like there's a forget if I want to become a Jehovah's Witness again.

And I was like, you know what, I, I repent for every or whatever I did that took me out of this and I want to be then you can go in.

So so there's a I could become that again, you know. I mean, like Jamie, Kilstein can never be a social justice warrior.

They wouldn't let him back. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I saw people attacking him and misrepresenting him when he left.

I was like people told me he raped someone. That's the shit that I had that no one whenever no one ever accused him of that.

And then even when he when he did leave, it's like he attacked them.

What he was accused of is so crazy. It's just that Jamie went all in bashing other people. My my feeling is who's accused of flirting with girls or something like that.

It's so much worse. I mean, it's such a long story, but it's so crazy. What the actual story is, is just that he went after people. And so when you do have people turn on like, well, fuck you. Yeah, but you can't be like that. If somebody comes out of a thing, you've got to be cool.

Yeah, well, that's how you would like people to be in real life, right? In real life, I would like everybody to be real reasonable when they talk to each other and hang out with each other.

But on Twitter, for some reason, like people that think the reason. People will say some shit that you would never say to someone in real life, because if you did, you'd be such a fucking asshole. If you just look in face to face and you said some of the things that some people just write to random people on Twitter, you would be a fuckin asshole.

But for some reason, well, that's the escape clause where you can write the way you would think the cruelty would create a callousness to it.

But you know what I mean? But it's like it's like people say crazy shit, but I wouldn't be hypersensitive to anything said right there. Direction, right. Right.

It's not that's not that's a good point. Like, really both punch each other and that's what we do. It's not like that big, but they get more raw. It's it's really like an unsatisfying call to be it.

It's missing a thing. And the big thing, if you want to be right, is you've got to be nice. It's not a nice one. It's not a reasonable one. It's an attacking one and attacking at a lot of things that are very debatable.

And they just want you to think that there's no debate on this.

Yeah, there's a lot of things that are very debatable. Well, like when it comes to any controversial issue, there's they're controversial for a reason.

Like a lot of them. You know, there's there's debate this debate to be had.

Now, if you can shut it right down. Yeah, that's that's what that's the shows business as the you know, basically, let's say you were like some about this seems off and I have an issue with it. Right. Raise your hand and say that in the because there's a Bible, you don't want to stumble your brother. Right. Like what if you're dout or whatever you had, like, keep it to yourself. You know, there's a time to discuss it.

I don't know when, but the worst thing happen is you hurt someone else's faith by you saying the thing. Yeah, that's obvious. That's in front of your face. So that that that lets in all kinds of horrible.

Whenever you hear about like molestations or, you know, one is actually the largest settlement in history really for that.

Yeah. And it's not because someone in a position of authority did it, it's because they did. But all these places do. And then go to the cops. They're like, we're going to handle. And that's why we are a bunch of church things, like if this kind of kid diddling happens and when it happens, it's really a morality issue of probably the kid like like, well, we have to see if they need to be married.

Now, that's the kind of. Well, it's just old as a Bronze Age, you know, how crazy is the Catholic Church?

Is there another country that is like the Vatican? The Vatican is like a country that's inside of Italy, right.

Isn't it essentially like it's a sovereign nation? And is the idea that so that no one can get kicked out like they can't get a, you know, extradited to the rest of the free world?

No, I don't know. I think it's like something like that. I think it goes back a long time. But how weird is that? I mean, how weird is that?

Like, if you got a kid fucking priest and they're holed up in a church over there, it's probably the best place for him.

Right. It's not a heavy kid population.

It's just a bunch of other all religions, by the way, have roughly as much as the Catholic Church pedophiles.

Yes. Oh, really? All of them? Some more. So it's just, you know, they actually kind of handled it more and they didn't do a great job. No, but they did it. Their reckoning came that it hasn't really come for a bunch of others on such a large. You don't hear about that like Baptists or of course you do.

Really. You should talk to my friend Brooke was in Quiverful. What's Quiverful? The nineteen. Remember the show 19 and counting. No, don't.

With the Duggar family. Oh that's right. Yeah. And and it's like you're Quivira supposed to be full.

Oh yeah. Just supposed to always be having kids.

And there's a good analogy there because if you're one of those assholes as a twenty arrow quiver, that's a lot of weight.

I can fit twenty arrows in my waist pussy now. Well it's like there's a there's a quiver analogy, believe it or not, for archery and particularly for bow hunting. Yeah. That's probably good.

You don't want to take too many arrows like on the best bow hunters. I know my friend John Dudley, he only takes four arrows. That's it. Know it's four because it weighs your bow down. He doesn't want a bunch of weight over here on the side of his bow.

So the analogy is to not have too many kids. Yeah. If you have theirs is like have nineteen.

I know. But that's a bad analogy like. But, but the idea like, oh I'm going to have 100 arrows. OK, but you got to carry those around student who founded it.

The idea and by the way, it's not it's own religion. It's a thing that if you're just like you could be a Methodist and you're in that movement, you know what I mean?

I think the founders are some dude who's still there. And this chick who former feminist who changed to this like she went the other. Oh, wow.

Extreme that happens too sometimes. Yeah. When you see the other way, if you thought you didn't like like the the hyper left, like kids wait until they become Republicans. How much. You're not going to like them. Oh.

Did their kids are going to become Republicans for sure.

There's a lot of them are going to flip, a lot of them are going to get older. We're talking yesterday on the podcast I did with Owen Smith, we were talking about farmers, how so? Most farmers, like the lot of them, are Christian and a lot of them are runaways that a lot of them are right wing. Oh, yeah.

And I was saying because they're no nonsense people, because they get up at six o'clock in the fuckin morning and they feed the chickens and milk cows and they have to do it every goddamn day. They want to hear your bullshit. They don't do it. They have no time for lazy people. They think everybody's trying to make a fast buck and they're out there hustling every day.

So no, no, if you've never been around it, people have never been around it.

Have the most TV like deep shit Hollywood idea of farming. Yeah, it's crazy hard work. Really fucking hard. Yeah.

Real strong. No those are different kind of people. You know Harriston. Did you know him or he accusing the accent with Tracy. And then I remember that when Tracy's told us he was one of them. Yeah he's a lot.

I mean he's not that I was but for Harris he's he's from South Carolina.

He used to be a well he's going to play baseball or something and hurt his fucking leg and became a comic, but he in one of the strongest fucking people ever because he's to do tobacco. Bales' Oh, Jesus. Was like Southern tobacco farming. So it's like, what, a country strong. It's crazy how strong you know how crazy that is.

That's actually a workout for Crosthwaite. Yeah. That kettlebell workout, it's called the Farmer's Walk Farmers Carry. Did you see take a heavy kettlebell on each hand, you walk with it so you wonder why don't you get a job?

Well, that is really I was just saying at that point. Well, farmer motions, farmer strength is a real strength.

Like like wrestlers always talk about farmer strength. It's like a like an expression.

I mean, it sounds so close to retard strength, but. Well, you say farmer strength, but the idea is you're picking up bales of hay all day like they're doing things all day.

And instead of working out, which is like you burn yourself out, that is the most tremendous working.

Just I do.

My friend's dad drove a truck, you know, a tractor trailer. And it's like Popeye forms.

Yeah. Because the shift is there. I'm sure it was fearsomely. It was like it was upsetting how strong his dad was.

And I just remember, like, everybody's dad had a job like that.

Well, think about some jobs, like lumberjack, like a lumberjack.

You immediately think of a giant man.

I think that paper towel giant. Yes. Yeah. That did that for that job. He was a lumberjack, right? The paper towel guy was the brainy guy is not a giant.

He didn't have a normal opinion, is not. The brawny guy I looked at was the brawny guy a rip off of the Paul Bunyan carabineros like the great taylored.

But what is are we imagining the brawny guy incorrectly? I have a feeling he's just a regular sized guy.

I think he's a handsome he's the kind of guy men and women want to fuck. That's right. He's like a marble man type character. He would be the guy that starts the orgy in the LSD camp.

Yeah, it's a regular.

Oh, he's clean. Looks like it's just a perspective thing. Yeah. See the other. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

There we go. The guy's guy with the mustache, the guy with the mustache on the left hand side. Yeah. He's just a regular size guy with some trees behind him.

The guy. No the the, the guy in the top two is not the same guy. Or is that different mustache. Guys.

The new guy is that guys who died of HIV. Sadly, that's why we have this new like how did I don't understand why they got rid of the old brawny guy. Made a totally different guy, a brawny guy, because this this guy looks like he lives in Long Island.

And yeah, he really looks like Adam Carolla. He owns a travel company.

So, you know, he he's got like one of them second market ticket sales companies. Yeah.

They had a thing. It's strange. Has no gender.

What does that it's a positive Brawne commercial. Please don't say that's real. Yeah, that's strength. There's no gender. That's true.

I guess. Why are they in? Well, it looks really like a lesbian book club of some kind, like look at the there are definitely women that are stronger than some men. Yes, I get it.

But I don't know why I don't. First of all, I don't want a paper towel would tell me anything.

Well, not only that. Why is it assuming that I don't think that women are strong. That's assuming that's why they it's not that.

It's not a strength has no gender. OK, it's women. It's OK. But listen, what if it was us? What it was a bunch of meathead looking men standing there. It said strength has no gender because he like, fuck you.

All right, fuck you. We know you're strong. Stop, stop. Women are strong, too.

Like, OK, I didn't say you weren't. I just said strength has no gender.

And here's me and my dad, somebody in marketing that's like the whoever does the marketing, they're like the women who have the Don Draper's that go, what do women want anyway?

They are angry. They don't think they're strong.

Like, that's the that's the purely the it's like the dumb dad on the second thing.

That's just like a thing that's been going on for, I don't know, forever. That image, that insulting fucking. Yeah. They're teaching you about life because they're selling paper towels because every woman is an engineer.

But that picture go back to that picture. I would feel so sold out if I was a guy and I was really into Brawne because I kind of look like the brawny guy. And then I go to my front now and there's three chicks. If you were in position, if you felt like the brawny guy, but literally it's like pregnant men, OK?

The brawny guy is a goddamn lumberjack.

I would assume most lumberjacks are probably big, strong men.

I think he became a gay kind of icon. I mean, I understand the idea that they have three female lumberjacks.

Three well, you can't do the job of one man. That was a lob. You've got to lob for the grand slam. Yes. To Jack the lumber of one fall.

Man, this is going to take three. Yeah.

It's just what are the percentages of women that are lumberjacks and what's the likelihood of three of them being on a team.

It looks in that picture he looks like a guy who's about to take a shit. And by the way, this is an ignorant question. I'm aware that if you're a female lumberjack and you're mad at me right now, I'm sorry, I don't know anybody that's a female lumberjack. I'm just just asking questions there. I mean, the where in lumberjack clothes, that's what a lumberjack wears.

Sue me. Are you posing or what is this if you have it stolen valor. Is this stolen valor? Are you pretending you're out there tearing trees? You wearing a lumberjack shirt is stolen by stolen valor. These are lumberjacks. These are models.

These are hot chicks with nice nails. They're not out there carrying trees and shit.

You know, they could by the way, you know, I'll tell you what, the women that do do their jobs, I promise they're not going to put on the paper towels look like you. Yeah, just fucking put a wig on the guy.

Look at that one lady with our sleeves rolled up. Are you about to go to work? Look at that picture. Click on that. She's got this really thin body that's really thin arms, and she's got her sleeves rolled up with a flannel flannel shirt on in front of a bunch of trees.

Are you about to chop trees down, ma'am? Because you weigh ninety pounds.

I better get the fuck out of the way, since the idea is to make you think that you feel like a lumberjack while your wife and your countdown is the is what they're trying to do, I think we need to be more respectful about what the fuck it means to be a lumberjack.

I would think you would think that that would be romantic until you did that job eight hours a day, five days a week, and your fucking body's broken down because you're carrying logs on your shoulder and shit you chopping at trees.

Oh, my God. Was your father a lumberjack?

Because this is what I feel. You can't pretend you're a goddamn lumberjack. You can't take a hot model and cover a face with a little bit of coal powder and pretend she's a coal miner in West Virginia getting black lung.

You can't because she's not. That's a great point. Yes, I believe you, you're not a lumberjack lady and that guy, OK, Brawne would if that was for Similac and he was breastfeeding, that would be fucking hilarious.

Just as likely. Is that lady being a lumberjack just it's likely that the brawny guy is breastfeeding. Yes, I think yes, just as likely, lumberjack is a brutal physical if a woman's doing it.

That woman's going to be jacked, she's going to be strong as fuck. What's the one?

That jean shirt if I just left it with that? What's the one that kicked off the whole like. Oh, the Gillette one like the one that kicked off the whole, like, fuck in advertising. Just that one, you know, the fucking Gillette. I don't know. I don't know. But is a while ago, it's a mess.

It was like a Muslim outrage. We talked about it. You must have talked about it. Which one was it? It was it was about celebrities. This is this the best a man can get? And then they watch. And it was like the metoo movement. Time's up fucking the guy is looking in the mirror at himself and then it cuts to you don't remember it now.

I remember. Yeah, it was preposterous. I pretty high so. No, no, no. I remember it now.

I blocked it out like a childhood molestation.

Well then there was like a fake debate. I always feel like I'm never buying Julia. You know, people are tweeting, they're throwing out their fucking like razors. And so many times, I guess it's brilliant because it's to the women who are buying the razors. But here's the thing. The women are binary. They're not into that either. A woman is buying razors for a man is also not into the fucking Gillette ad. So whoever is in charge of the marketing, it's their entire like, what do you think that is?

Do you think that's like someone who decides they're going to cash in? Yeah, well, it's that man. And they just say maybe there's an opportunity here to make some money.

And dude, were you OK? I totally forgot. But what do you look at this? The guy men with their fuckin sick now, did you see what they just showed?

It's like I put his hand on her shoulder. Now, it was a fucking sitcom where a white guy grabs his black man's ass and it's all men in the gun, huh? What a fucking show is that.

The second I just fucking grabbed me to ask, everyone's like, yeah, is there a show like that?

Maybe married with children? No. Look, you know, even then, let me see it again. That's fake. That's so fake. That's bizarre.

But it's you're right. You're dead right. Because it's a recreation of something that didn't really happen.

What do you want this to be an example of? That's not even like a mash up of anything I've ever seen, but it's like they made a fake TV show.

Yeah.

It's like here's an example of the type of shows you like. No one was watching that.

But that's not even a show. Right. That's why. So we are even. Yeah. So it's like a straw man show. The whole thing is a fucking straw. Right.

But I mean that if that's a weird way of doing it, is that what they were depicting with a depicting a fake sitcom. Yeah. Fake seemed like it. Right.

Which seemed like it was right for like how.

Well weird is that they don't have a real example. How weird is that.

This is a fake site right there. There is. Oh yeah. How weird is that guy I like not even a puppet did shit like that on one of the puppet sitcoms from the nineties and that's where to put his hand on that girl's shoulder.

And she had this weird look on her face like, oh my God, I know that's the craziest.

I have a woman. I thought it was a Joe Biden campaign.

If you were working with the woman and she put her hand on your shoulder like that, you be it would be nothing, right? Yeah, well, it's not. Well, it's not a good example to put in your ad, I look in a real situation like, hey, I felt this weird thing. I'm sure there could be a situation that someone puts their hand on your shoulder. And it's weird, right? Oh, yeah.

Not automatically. Or that you're they insulted you. Yeah, but they put their hand on your shoulder. Why are you putting this? The whole point that I can't get past is why the fuck is why are you talking about this hour and why are you telling me how great your razors are you fucks.

You should be begging me to buy your fucking ring you fucking moron. What are you doing? They think it causes teaching.

People know, because then you talk about it like on a podcast, right? And then they're like, see, you've got engagement. That doesn't mean people are going to buy the shit.

I'm not going to not buy it. I just think some marketing person fucked up. I don't think it's representative of the whole company or some marketing person.

They just they decided they were going to like, yeah, right. Hatch or hitch a ride onto the back of this movement.

A bunch of things did. Yeah. A ton of things. Isn't that weird?

When they do that, it's like it's you think I'm so stupid I'm not going to know what you're doing that you're because statistically you are that they have some kind of research where they're like, yes, you are statistically.

It's like the letter from Nigeria to wow, it's like they're trying to be creative.

Right. So they're like creative people that are making up these scenarios. Like there's a commercial, like a little scenario. Here's where they have a guy who's Bush is too hairy and he's posing for the picture with a senator space, but they want to moshavim sack them balls. That's the guy.

I mean, I want to I want to show. Could you this is what I want to show. I want to show the guy going, well, we we we want to use you, but and then go fuck.

And then you see him in the bathroom holding his JOIDES his balls were on twitch. No they weren't. Comedy Store got in trouble and there's like a real violation.

What is it, FTC or FDA where the FDA violated them, which they do in a comedy store, live fucking warranty time calls because he pulls them out, he's bored.

So Joey Diaz just pulls his balls out and he's holding on to them like he's got to kitten heads and an old lady's panty hose. I mean, the fuck the biggest balls you've ever seen in your life, is that a violation of twitched a fully.

Yeah, yeah.

They got kicked off it twitch. It wasn't good, but you got to see the video video's hilarious.

Can you can you find the video.

I have it on my phone. I saved it. Here's how good it was. It was so good. I screen my screen recorded because I'm like this is going to go away. They're going to pull this down because people are communists and they don't want to see something amazing. So watch this here.

You see.

So look, that's a screenshot of someone filming it that looks like from dude, I thought he had fake balls as a joke. Those are real. I've seen them for years. I've seen the first time I saw him was in ninety six.

He's got a lot of bull skins due to his his balls are softballs, there's softballs stuffed in a flesh cover and my pantyhose.

He's got his shirt off. Yeah. It's chaos. Chaos.

Yeah. I don't know I just. I'll donate money. Yeah, goddamn, yeah, because I'm just thinking of the amount of distance of scrotum, you need to flush them out, that a man's balls are preposterous.

He's obligated to take them out.

So you understand about. So you get what he's saying. He's not playing games.

So you know what, his real balls there it is, is a screen grab. That's probably he go to jail for that or something. Everybody got assaulted.

I well, I might not say that until I saw the size of those birds in a trap.

Birds trapped, never published. But yeah, he's trapped in and I always have to take my shirt off thing.

Same thing happened at the door.

How many ladies.

Oh, that's even darker. I forgot about Tiggs. Anyway, terrible person. I know I got so I didn't imagine why can't women do that? Is there a topless female comic?

Because you don't it's not worth taking your shirt off. It's not like sexual except to like, you know, if you're in the Bears, right.

It's a woman that could do that same kind of thing. She has to be not attractive. Hmm. But that's the whole birth thing, this is going to be a guy you don't want to be that hot. Yeah, well, Berts, because his body's large, I feel like waiting for him to have his shirt off.

Can anyone ever taking their shirt off? No, because it's part of the fun.

It's part of the story. But is it brave because you don't have to applaud him for that? Oh, I just want to but it accentuates the comedy.

Whereas a girls big tits don't really accentuate the comedy like Burt's Big Belly accentuates the comedy.

I mean, it's like you're hanging out at a pool with Burt laughing. That's what the effect is to create.

And a girl just pulls her tits out. This weird if you're that kind of a fat guy that I mean, yeah, I guess the better be like a baby on the end of it, I guess. Well, women could do it.

We would just have to be accustomed to it.

The problem is like if a woman just pulls her tits off, tits out and starts telling jokes, if it was always like that, it would be just like you see in those old documentaries of like, you know, yeah, somewhere in Africa they all have bras.

And it's not a thing just like that.

Exactly. Which is how human beings, all of us used to be the whole planet before anybody figured out how to put clothes.

If we Joey Diaz's balls were out all the time, we all could.

Well, it sort of goes back to what we're saying about the the couple that they drew on that little plaque that they shot off into space.

Boy, when the aliens find out about Joey Diaz, his boss, they're going to fucking oh, my gosh, Dick and his balls that should have been sent to space that that really should be sent to space to represent us.

He was just trying to guess what the show is on.

It wasn't Joey who else was there earlier in the stream earlier. Yeah.

But happened right. There was a different guys ball that Bobby Lee show his ass more outrageous these shows.

And so is like a context for it. He showed his whole asshole. I mean, you know, Bobby needs another get naked guy. Oh yeah. He'll get naked.

I've seen Ari Shapiro, his balls and dick multiple times as well.

He'll pull everything out. No. Yeah, I didn't.

I do something for skank first. Staged naked, you know, are trying to become a shirt off guy. He could he's always Oh well he'll do it well if he wants to, whether he can or not.

He does shirt off walks, takes pictures all the time. Sun's out. Guns out. New York City.

Yeah. He walks around with like I never seen a guy take to New York better than Ari Shapiro. Like a duck to water. Just my aunt is right in his little pond.

The spot she's many trips across Asia probably helped him prepare. He loves New York. Yeah, I'm sick of it, too. I mean, I like I liked it for a long time, but I got very it's a different way of living, man.

I can't just have I don't want another winter like that goes to April that I have to. I can't do it.

Hmm. I wonder how much of that has an impact, like who gets the most colds and flus? Is it people that live in the cold in the East Coast or are they more accustomed to it so they get less of them? Or is it people in the West?

It's it's how tightly packed you packed in. You are all the people that are going to have, you know. Right.

That's probably why New York probably helps your immune system at a certain point.

But in New York, because you just bombarded with fucking that makes sense that it would help your immune system except for something you don't have an immunity to like this coronavirus. Which is why I was so bad in New York.

Right.

Because your immune system is prone to all those other things. I believe you. I just had to know. I know enough to know if that's not the case when you take your balls out.

I don't think I want to know at the end of the day what would happen.

And it's just going to everybody wants to draw a conclusion long before it would be awesome if they tested Joey Diaz's balls for Corona.

When was to say he's patient zero, you got to squeeze it out like that.

So there's a drop of blood. Oh, wow.

So how long from Bobby taking his ass out? It's a good question.

Which is more offensive. Bobby's asshole or Joey Diaz's balls? It's hard.

I don't know if there's a tough call. Equally are well, one's way more impressive. Bobby, these assholes are regular size asshole.

I'll be the same as it is balls. They're a thing of nature, like, wow, you know, it's like when you see a bird like a two can has a crazy beak.

Let's look at his fucking big.

Holy shit. It is exactly like that. Yeah. Like an exotic bird. Yeah. You see other birds, they have normal beaks like even an eagle.

It's a normal beak. Right.

But then you see like a fucking like a a talk to be like oh he's one of those sort of balls it dogs. Yeah. Like a shoe bill.

Like the big shoe bill's from Africa.

That is a he received one of those motherfuckers, they call me the shoe bill because I got huge ball. My favorite ridiculous bird.

Oh two cans. Got a crazy one. He's got a super bright one. Tell me that doesn't get him some pussy.

It I don't know. I don't look at that picture. That's beautiful. I know. Hot damn that's pretty. I mean, come on, how psychedelic should I want to fuck that bird, that bird is beautiful. It really does look fruit flavored. I thought the cereal was making that up.

OK, if that wasn't real, that wasn't a real thing. And someone drew that. What is this, the new fucking Avatar monster? What is that?

It does look like an Avatar monster. Looks freaky. Is that an Avatar monster? Look how long that fucking beak is.

Do you think dinosaurs are like that's probably all the dinosaurs, that kind of crazy planet.

I'm, by the way, 100 percent not saying 100 percent. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I think that it's been confirmed that birds are like leftover dinosaurs. Right. What are those?

The thing, you know, they're like big to really big Dodo's, but they're all dead now. Terror birds. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. We've talked about them a ton of times. Too much. Almost every human being killed by some stupid looking like they're like nine feet tall. Dude, the shoe bill's the one I was talking about earlier. Look at that motherfucker that's alive.

It's a kind of duck. It's huge. It's like five feet tall. And they they're so evil eyed.

I thought, like, jails look friendlier than that. Look at that.

Imagine that thing standing up, like looking at you in the eye, moving towards you, thinking about eating you.

And I don't like the the around the eyes. And he looks like Ray Liotta. I don't like it.

Like the Ray Liotta that was here in the helicopters overhead, the eyes and Karen.

Karen, I needed that. Karen, why look at the fucking eyeball to eyeball and that thing.

That thing doesn't fuck if you die like the sequel poster face.

Jesus Christ. Now imagine that. But imagine nine feet tall.

And that was those terror birds. You get a picture that's a bird that's alive, that's a bird that's alive right now. Oh, I thought it was like a no dude, that that was from one of those where they're on discovery, where they make the fake.

Oh, right, right, right. Like they reenact it with mermaids.

No, this is a real bird. It's a real bird that lives. Oh, my God. That's real.

Yeah. It lives in the Congo. It lives in Africa.

His face really does suck in Big Man. It really does look like a Reebok is fucking had some monster.

There's a crazy video of one of them eating a snakehead fish. It's oh, really? Oh, yeah, they're super snakeheads, the ones are like, who will take all these snake heads off our hands because there's so many fucking snakeheads? Well, they're an invasive species. So now we got to bring in these schubel let's look at thing.

That's the that's the fish. Yeah. And this thing snatches it up and gobbles it up and that thing breathes air and this motherfucker comes in.

That's a crazy dinosaur looking face on that shoe had what's it called a shoe shoe bill. Look at him eating that.

That's great. I mean that is a fucking dinosaur.

You Silver Medal is the name of the video, which is hilarious because they are definitely metal.

I would think that was like a UFE going. Yeah, you would think that's a fake thing. It's a five foot tall bird. Where do they live? Those are in Africa, but. Yeah.

Oh, well, the documentary that I saw was they're talking about the Congo.

Look at his fucking shoulders and shit. I don't know what part of Africa they live in. Oh, God damn. It's crazy.

Yeah, crazy. Now imagine those fucking terror eyes.

It looks like a puppet. They make a realistic puppet for one of those discovery Dinant walking with dinosaurs. Look at that.

Looks like a goddamn animatronic. So fake looking. They should never do CGI because like puppets look more real. I know.

Well, they have a real hard time with feathers and they have real hard time with fur.

It's hard to get fur to look completely realistically like I saw that new movie with Harrison Ford and the dog is that I think dogs fake dog.

Yeah, it's so weird. It's weird. It's weird because it doesn't get past the uncanny valley I would never get.

It's him. Look at you like I know you're not looking at dog. Do I call it the wild right.

Is that what it is. Yeah, it's all fake dogs, fake wolves.

There's a lot of fake dog in real life that you could kind of fake it with. No, man, you got to get these dogs do very specific shit. It's weird. It's real close. Real close. It's not that I was trying to pull a little flourish in there to. It's you love this dog, though, man, OK? He looked awful like The Hobbit and the dog. It's like right there. There he is. So it's always a little off.

Who's the person there?

They got like a dwarf to be the I mean, they didn't do shit, man. This is all I mean, he's based on the he's just staring at the ground.

Why would you animate like like a dog's a Bigfoot or something that we have to simulate to get the dog to do very specific things?

Well, I think it was like some Ford did look a little bit CG. He probably was. This is like a low key flex. The dog's going to say they should have made it all animated if they to do that.

Yeah, right. Right. The people, too. Right. And it would be kind of cool.

You're right. You're going to be like the Piranha Express or something. Yes. Which is so creepy. Yeah. Like in the future. Like that, that is going to be a horror movie.

This is almost like Roger Rabbit. If it wasn't funny, the the the man acting with the animated.

Yeah. Animal, The Call of the wild. This is called the call. And I've never read the book to call the one day when I was a kid. But this is very different than the book. They took a lot of liberties and. There's a lot of things they changed a lot, you know, and also into a movie, I don't know if I can make it. It was really good.

So it was it was actually really good. It was a good movie. It's like it's a good movie, you know. But in terms of like a family movie. Oh, right. Yeah. I watch movies with my kids.

Right. So there's a lot of movies that I watch that I know. I'll never see that because I don't have kids.

So I take chances on some movies that were, you know, what turned out to be a mistake.

Well, not that it was bad, but that watched it with a nine year old Jojo Rabbit. Oh, yeah, it's more serious. It was about kids getting killed by Nazis, like, hey, maybe not right now.

So we switch to Adam Sandler.

Also, we tried to watch the first season of Lost, but we put on the first episode of the first season. And when the guy gets sucked into the the airplane engine, they show, yeah, my nine year old was like, shut the fuck this, stop this. I'm not watching people get sucked into engines after a plane crash.

The fuck is wrong with you? I'm nine. She's right. She's right. The kid's right.

You know, I haven't had to consider a lot of kids who I you know, if I see my nieces, you know, it's a good safe that is Adam Sandler movies, but which some of them are like there's some really inappropriate scene which are like the newer ones are, which are the ones that are like the best is in. Zohar has one of the funniest movies ever. I like The Zone. It is a fucking funny movie. You know what's so funny?

Yeah, I like that movie. It's like the end. It was like ridiculous.

Yeah. The singing thing. Yeah. It was kind of preposterous, but it was fun and I was like, you got me.

I'm going with you the whole ride. Yeah. You know, I mean it's just what else is a funny movie man. Like an unapologetically, ridiculously funny movie.

Oh his fucking no. Do you see his Netflix. I didn't it. No, it's very good. Really good dude. Yeah I heard. It's very good.

Dana White loved it. He's awesome man. He really he's a great guy. I've met him a few times. It's very, very, very nice guy.

But his movies are so unapologetically funny. Like just goes for all the ridiculous jokes. Yeah.

Well it's like you get a ZOA has all of it's like dick jokes and sex jokes always like oh he got the blowback because of on a talk show he said like I was just going on vacation with the last couple or something. Right.

That's remember there was like oh I wasn't paying attention. He got blowback. Yeah.

Because he said like the ones that aren't that good. Like the ones are good, I remember they're like, you know, like I remember Simpsons Lines or, you know, like fucking Billy Madison, right? Richard he's got a bunch of people, remember?

And then Gilmore, there's like a Gilmore is a classic. That's a happy Gilmore.

But the ones that I don't know if they didn't do well, like they're with what's her name from Drew Barrymore.

Yeah, I think it's like those ones. But he said something like the last few movies. I'm just going on vacation. Oh, he said that? I think it he probably didn't mean it like I did. I don't think he meant he was like phoning in.

Adam Sandler confirms that his movies. Well, see, that's where you asked him also.

He could just be being he could be just being funny and, you know, funny, you know, because I have done that. He's done that since 50 first dates. Sandler explained it was written in another place. I said, imagine if we did it in Hawaii, how great would that be? And they said, yeah, that's a very artistic idea. I've been doing that ever since. So he's just saying he does his movies and vacations at the same time.

It's pretty wise.

Yeah, well, it's it sounds like it got made into a thing by historical.

You know what they are. Do they like. They're just funny, right? He just tries to do the funniest thing, and for whatever reason, some people have decided that that's dumb because there's some movies that don't do that. There's like Coen Brothers movies were more sophisticated humor that still are.

They like you just as hard. I, like all is going to the movies, but I never thought of them as like like the who's done something like that. What's what's a bowling one.

Kingpin. Yeah, that's Farrelly brothers, right. Yeah. And that holds up pretty fucking good. Pretty fucking good. That's a brilliant movie. That's a brilliant move.

Did you you what I saw fairly recently, a friend of mine showed me Withnail and I hear that now. What is it from like the 80s and it's fuckin George Harrison from the Beatles, like produced that. It's a comedy fucking hilarious dude. Really.

I never I heard of the title, but I never seen it. And I don't remember Wayne's World there.

That guy who was like a roadie who would tell crazy stories. Yes. That character they took from this movie. And that's what he's doing. It's the same actor. So it's that guy's in it and this guy does. That old dude I had never seen it is fucking hysterical.

Wow. And what they're like out of work actors and they live in this fucking rat infested like, you know, because they're alcoholics and they go to the country to get away from their stress. I don't I don't play spoiler. It's really goddamn funny.

There's some great fucking old movies that slip through the cracks or the this one I like like I like Blazing Saddles. Really. Yeah. Like of like you could make that now. I like it like that.

It really is fucking classics I like. I never I heard of it. I never watch. It's fucking funny.

I'll check it out. I'll check it out. Yeah. It's you know who still makes movies the same way is Tarantino. He still makes hyper. I like that new one.

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot once upon a time in Hollywood.

But I just have a foot fetish so that's why I'm at.

Yeah it's pretty awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Did you see a Bruce Lee. Do you believe the Bruce Lee. What do you think that whole Bruce Lee thing is about?

Well, I've talked about it almost too much, but in the interest of keeping up this conversation, I don't think he's right.

He tried he depicted Bruce Lee in a way that made him look like an asshole.

Right. And I think Bruce Lee was very confident, but I don't think there's really any evidence that he was a dipshit. And in that movie, they make him out to be kind of a dipshit.

And there was a real instance, and this is what I've talked about before, like Bruce Lee had relationships with people that were stuntmen in a positive way. And one of them was Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Right. A famous guy was a judo champion who taught Bruce Lee a lot of judo moves and they worked together in several movies. And but Gene La Belle, if he had an actual fight with Bruce Lee the way Brad Pitt did, Gene labeller to kill them.

I mean, Gene, the belt was a real gigantic man, a gorilla of a man. Right. It was a really strong guy who was also a judo champion. I mean, his grappling.

No, it's like he had a like a great butt or he just wanted to make Bruce Lee get killed.

Yeah, that's the problem. It's like there's just so so there's Bruce Lee getting his ass kicked by this guy who's just a random, tough guy. And they get in this.

I mean, that's what they don't tell you, that he was so dark that killed his strong wife on his book. What's that? He was here. Remember, he may be killed. His wife, who maybe killed their wife, the Brad Pitt guy, the pizza Bruce Lee did he really in the movie?

They suggested he killed it. Was it from what? I'm not trying to remember that now. It's that's why they didn't like him on the set, remember? Like that Australian.

Damn it, I forgot that plot point. He was on the boat and his wife's, like, bitching him out and he just holding a spear gun and that it never resolves. But it's always rumour that he killed his wife. But nobody ever knew for sure. That was like the.

So so when he fought Bruce Lee. Carol Baskin. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was a Carol Baskin.

But with sharks. This is from your mom's house, by the way. The shirt. Don't blame me, I don't. I mean, she seemed like she did it, but I don't I wouldn't want to weigh into that. Yeah, I don't know, I steer clear of tiger people and all that.

Good point.

Man, don't buy a Porsche. Get it. If you want to get laid, get a fucking tiger. Yeah. Jesus Christ, they all start like a little sex cult around themselves. Yeah, like why is that?

Do you think you think they're dealing with tigers? The feeling I like shooting guns, that's like a feel.

It's fine. Like walking a tiger must feel like whatever that is, like times a million.

Maybe like if you just hung out with a fuckin shoe bill that followed your commands.

Yeah. If you were dealing with giant cats all day, how freaked out you'd be?

Well, that they're getting off on that. This cat's not killing them when it easily could. They're all getting off on that. It's like exciting. And plus, like, people just love animals. So you get to mix, like, really primal feelings together, like. Yeah. And then that whole speech, that's why the lady got her own butt off.

But she's like, don't blame the tires and she shouldn't. It's her goddamn fault that she went back to work there.

Yeah, well. Once they have a taste, you know, it's he now that was a big part of the movie that was after the accident and now she's transgender. She's a he now. Oh, really?

Yeah. That was a big part of the controversy that they had mis gendered her. They misjudged her in the television.

Oh, my God. I thought I had done it. I don't know you, but you did because you said she we can blame the doctor.

Hey, I'm as mad about this documentary as everyone else. That was the information I had to work with.

Well, that's a dark moment when a tiger takes your fucking hand and you see it.

But OK, you know, when they talk about like if a bear gets a taste for human, it's bad.

Like if a tiger got a taste for specifically my arm, like, I don't want to work with that tiger.

Oh, my God. You know, there's moments in that that show one of them where the tiger's dragging him away by his foot.

Remember that? Oh, yeah. And he shoots the gun. It's like, you fucking bitch, you fucking bitch. Remember, like the tiger lets go.

But he's like literally holding it's holding on to his foot, dragging him away. Wow. Yeah.

I didn't see that point. I'm thinking of dude in Tiger King. I missed that one. I haven't seen all of them. I've seen most of it.

The thing grabbed his feet and was pulling away and he didn't know because it's being a tiger.

No, I mean, I'm sorry. What was the situation?

He was inside the cage with the Tigers and everything was cool, but then one of them grabs him by the foot. It's checking out his feet, won't leave him alone, and then grabs him by the foot and drags him away.

Do you mean the way he was kind of slowly this cat dragged. Wow. So he's he's hitting at it with a stick and then he pulls pulls out a gun and when he pulls out his gun, he shoots near it and it lets go. It's a loud noise. Yeah, it's a loud noise, so it lets go, but he starts screaming out in fucking bitch. So he thinks that in in the show he said he thinks that someone put something on his shoes.

Oh, sardine oil. Yeah.

Well that was what the lady had said. Like to get a cat to eat. Carol Baskin by the way. I don't know. She did. This is just your mom's house. They told me to wear the force.

Do they have a little, in our opinion, count that they should not put that on there? I know, right?

But they anyway, he almost had to shoot. The cat was pulling him away by his feet for some reason, just she off, maybe had some nice Jordans or something.

And that's where they were. Right. You know, I think it probably feels like if it smelled like I would just imagine leather to a cat unless I was like, really smells like delicious beef jerky. Smells like some kind of meat product.

Yeah. Wouldn't it? I mean, it's probably fun to bite.

I mean, dogs bite chews, but are they just biting it because it's soft and it feels good or they know it's leather, they know it's animal, it's leather.

They'll be crazy if they knew. Oh I know where this came from.

But I mean, they know it's not some sort of an animal product. Maybe I don't know I don't know a lot of stuff like it for a dog, like if you just had raw leather laying around a dog would be like, why can't I just eat this?

I think this is food that they'd walk up to, like two dogs.

I remember them being a particular way at leather. No, but like shoes or things, you wear your smells on them, but you just have, I think, the scenery.

Yeah.

That like something where you said, yeah, but don't people give their dogs leather chew toys. Right. I never did. So I don't know. No.

Never. No. I think Rawhide is leather, rawhide just toys, yeah, rawhide, sure, I thought they were edible. Yeah, they are edible. It's edible leather leathers, edible leather. Leather is edible. Yeah. It's just really, really tough.

Like, I like a jacket. If you were starving, you could eat your people in the Depression, actually boil their shoes and eat their shoes. That was a she was seeing people choose.

That's how much people were starving to death. That was a real thing. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Eating shoe leather was like what people would talk about, like the lowest point of people being desperate had to eat for food.

Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. Right. Oh my God.

That's that's real depression we would have been thankful for back to back in that. You know what Swardson said to me? Well, it's to us in a text group, a group text with them. He said a friend of his is a sheriff. And they said they used to deal with maybe one suicide a week.

And now they're dealing with as many as five a day where I probably shouldn't say in the Hollywood area.

No, you probably shouldn't.

Yeah, well, I mean, this is a very it's crazy, but that's not like a podcast or something.

People that are used to doing a like not doing standup feels very, very weird.

Like I'm disoriented, like what day it is, like because I didn't realize how much I was like timing my life out from like when I had spots. Right.

And depended upon it artistically too. Right. Yeah, absolutely. People have they've hit this weird breaking point.

It's more like six weeks in. Right. And people are really antsy for things to open back up again. So there's like an additional tension that seems to be in the air.

Well, maybe it's time for celebrities to sing us to sleep with a man. There's no half. Don't stand so close to me, but please don't start. Yeah, that's a creepy song, right?

Isn't that a song about, I guess, pre covid-19? It's creepy, but don't stand so close to me. Isn't it about like a teacher and a young girl? Is that what it's about, the subject of school?

Well, if he was saying come closer school girl that she was hitting on him, he's the teacher and she's hitting on him. Here we go. Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy. She wants him so badly, knows what she wants to be inside. There's no room. Hmm. This girl's an open page book markings. So she's so close now. This girl's half his age. Don't stand so close to me.

Oh, because they're fucking. Yeah, well, her friends are so jealous. You know how bad girls get. Sometimes it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet temptation frustration so bad it makes him cry. Wet bus stop. She's waiting. His car is warm and dry. Don't stand so close to me. Loose talk in the classroom.

Most of this fucking boy's holy fuck. He starts the show, he starts to cough covid-19 to hurt. They try and try strong words in the staff room. The accusations fly. It's no use he sees or he starts to shake. He starts to cough, just like the old man in that famous book by now, because I love to dance. And so I keep telling myself, this is that's the whole song.

OK, that song is a pedophile song. That's a song about a guy getting.

Well, don't sing that song. Do you think I getting tricked into a fucking fortune? It's a song about a guy who's getting lured in by a young Lolita. I mean, that's what it's like.

That's how he wants him so badly, you know? And then then it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet either. Together they're in the car. Together it's raining out. It's cars warm and dry as a river.

No, dude, until you told me that, I've never and I don't know how long I've heard that song, like 30 years or however long it was around. I thought that was I've listened to it so many times, like not that I even started out, but just over and over again and never. That's what it was.

That's why it doesn't matter about lyrics like because no, it's true that she used to go on when I was in high school, Spanish teacher, my friend in my school, I knew something that happened to the song was penned by Sting, who just happened to have a former career as a teacher before the rock stardom came calling to I told a story about it on the that people used to fuck their students.

Back then I knew I was seventeen and the guy was a James Franco young man.

He's a handsome young man. He's one of my favorite teachers. Anyway, they fucked.

I don't know what the rules were back then. No, I'm pretty sure I was in high school. Everybody was like a bunch of girls I knew were dating some guy that was like could probably have gone to jail.

Yeah, but a few people I told a story on our show.

I knew somebody who like it was he was in high school and hooked up with his geometry teacher and they end up being married.

When I was in high school, I dated a girl. She was a very nice girl, but she was also naughty. And this naughty girl fucked an older man who had a boat.

And I think I think it was sounds like such a good like us. Either her she really either saw her and her friend fucked the guy.

Anyway, it was she was a naughty girl, older man, but a very nice girl, which is adventurous.

And one of the things she said is like like he gave her a hard time about it. She's like, motherfucker, I'll turn you into the police. Oh.

So, yeah, we're doing a prom show years ago, you know, like, I don't really do that here. But in New York, the clubs prom season, a bunch of like Long Island high schools go to comedy shows after their prom.

Yes, I did that at Dangerfield's. Yeah, right. And Windfield Fields.

So one of the limo drivers, I don't know who asked him, like, do you ever like because the girls look like kids like like it was crazy how much they look like kids. To me, it's high school kids. Right. There would be a couple. We're like, oh, that looks like an older kid, but they are like kids.

But somebody asked the driver one time a driver, a girl. I remember she was sixteen, he said, but she did came on to him and they fucked. And she goes, how much she makes it? I think I was like, I don't know, like 500 bucks shows. And she goes, I think you owe me two hundred and took three hundred dollars off this state.

Oh my God. Yeah. Like that's a really advanced fucking thing to do.

He stole three hundred bucks and fucked him. It's an interesting call because she like turned herself into a prostitute.

I just don't know why you would make that. Although I remember remember to catch a predator when they would get like half those people seem like they would go to anybody who had written back to them.

I got a theory about that, too, about why guys are into like high school kids.

Well, I think there's some guys out there that hit a point in their life, like maybe like right after they graduate where their life got really fucked up and it did.

So I've heard this song. It got really fucked up and it didn't go anywhere. And they wanted to, like, relive their childhood. Yeah, right. I went back to high school, like, maybe they have a lot of regrets.

They got they got what I knew now they got beat up, you know, but it is that kind of thing where it's like you want to do something, you hear you're you stuck in a certain time.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's the thing with women, too. That's why a lot of women wind up fucking high school boys, right? Women. There's teachers. Like how many times you heard that story?

How many times I heard growing up. It's constant.

It's the funny thing is they barely get arrested. Like, most of the time they don't do any time. I saw one recently, I think a lot of places she was fucking a sixteen year old boy and they just said, don't do it anymore. And they gave her like one year probation.

Where was this? I forget they gave her orders, knock it off was probably like Kansas or something like that.

Like stop it, just stop this guy people what you call form strong.

But if it was a guy that was fucking up fifteen or sixteen, which is happy, it's not a Kosenko.

They're just happy it's not a guy the guy was doing it, they would they would want that guy locked up in a cage for sure. It's interesting. I mean, yes, I agree with it. It makes sense. But it's still it's kind of crazy. Yeah, I don't, man, I guess to so many teachers blow their students.

I mean, it's just it's just the only ones you hear about are the ones with these policies. Can't keep their mouths shut.

Well, I know some they have to go to their mom and go to the teachers and go to the cops.

You know what? It depends if you're a fucking kid or not. Like, I'll tell you finally what it is. If if I was like 16 when I was in high school, like 16, I was a kid of a 16 year old. You can be because we were religious. So I had no really.

I mean, so do you think that those are the guys that they try to fuck or do you think they go after, like the young football player guys?

I think it's all kinds of different. Like, if you're a crazy girl who wants to relive childhood, relive high school, so you go. I think it's just I think some of strikes your fancy and they probably never thought it would be like that.

I think it's like maybe they think like some pure you know, maybe they think like when I was in high school, that boy wouldn't give me the time of day if I was in high school with him.

But now I can fuck them because I'm 32 and I'm the teacher. Do you think is that thought through? 100 percent.

It's all planned out as journalists schematics and journals. Oh, is there journalism? They got a map of how they want it to go down and all the friends are connected.

One of those little circles with all the lines that come out with different names, who was the one that they made that movie about with Nicole Kidman? She gets I mean, there's a real story of someone with something. You know, the teacher got the kid to kill her husband.

Oh, right. That was. And then that was was that New Hampshire? Where was that? Yeah.

Then there's a documentary about her where like me, it's a fucking crazy story.

Was that was that Pam Smart. Yes. Pamela.

Yeah, I remember that man because everybody had jokes about that when I was everybody does in 88 when I was just starting to do standup.

It was right around then that it happened when I was an open microphone. Yeah.

Everybody had like Pam Smart jokes to die for. Yeah, they.

Well, what are the real Pam Smart look like? Not that good. Well keep in mind that's in prisons. Well it's just not fair. That's there.

She's pretty cute with some fucked up rivière hair. Look at her hair. Go back to that picture again.

What year what year of hair was that?

Because I remember that when like in the 80s, for sure. Girls under like that. I mean a big one. Yeah. Yeah. In the 80s.

Yeah. To die for was 95. Yeah. You're not. It's hard to fuck with the nineteen ninety five. Nicole Kidman. Right. That's what year it was.

Yeah. Here's another version of it too with Helen Hunt. I'm not as good. Oh yeah. It's fine, it's more accurate.

But I think like well the Kidman was supposed to be just a character based on her. But it's funny right.

Because if you're doing an actual real life story. You would if you had a teacher that looked like Nicole Kidman, it would change the narrative, like there's a weirdness, you know, 100 percent because there's a weirdness if it's a big fat lady. Right.

It's a big fat guy that I knew. The guy that I knew the teacher was hot. And everybody was like, when the camera is like the kids get exactly what we say for is like loosely based on that movie.

Loosely inspired. Yeah. So here's the problem with that. If like Salma Hayek, like hot Salma Hayek from Dust, the darkness, that one in a prime member when there's another foot thing with Tarantino.

Oh, yeah. He shot off her feet and shot off her feet. No, when you hear it and then you look back, you're like, wait a minute, there's a 20 minute foot scene and every fucking kill bill, she's like, now wiggle your toes. Just like camera hangs on toes for a while until they move. Or if that until I come that she was so hot.

If that's how much I wanted to fire 16 year old boy, what what kind of a chance does he have a saying? No, he's got zero chance.

I mean, this probably mythological creatures based on where Archie was.

Yeah, fuck out of here, man. She was so smokin hot and still is. She's still hot as fuck. Yeah.

Without a foot fetish, that foot thing is like I would do that.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. She's beautiful. Now, imagine if she is the teacher and some 15 year old 16 year old boy if the teacher. Let's not say it's alright. Let's say it looks like it could be like a cousin or something like that. But really hot, just as hot as her. I'd say it's her.

Let's not be disrespectful. Someone on an equal scale of hotness to Salma Hayek fucks your six year old boy like what chance does he have a saying no to that? How about zero.

Some might consider zero zero, you know, beyond beyond consent. You know, I think that's the entire idea of it being a kid.

The thing about it. Yeah, but the thing about it is, if he was eighteen, you'd be psyched for him just two more years.

If he just lived twenty four months, it doesn't look better. That's that's who somebody said it to me maybe.

And he said to me, she's like, if it is just like a year like why can't you wait a year or something?

I think it's a I think it's like arbitrary. Let's look.

Grown women then want to fuck 17 year olds don't have a year to wait. Those bitches are all crazy.

You know, they don't. That's right. They don't have any time. That's right. They have no time to wait for my credit card debt is fucking ex boyfriends. Try and chase them down because they have a high school student.

Help your credit card. You know, it's really some of those women are married. Some of those were in America. I think a lot of the people are married and they want to fuck in their student.

I was never around that, I never experienced that as a kid where a teacher, a female hot teacher, fucked any of my friends.

Yeah, no, I never had that. It's always a gym teacher, somebody in my school.

I remember a female gym teacher that was a male gym teacher and somebody else. But that makes sense. He's just got fire.

But we just you know, I could be wrong, but I think the guy that the weight room in the school had a weight room, you know, he could go to the school. And the guy I remember hearing some shit like that about, the guy that was like ran the weight room that he's one of the gym teachers. I remember he was very always very grabby and like, oh, I didn't think it was just it was very Joe Biden like shoulder rubs and, you know, like I got hairy legs.

He just wanted to pressure leg hair. And then you press his leg down. No big deal. Just presses like hair down. Everybody likes kids playing with their leg hair.

It's fun. Yeah.

Just totally normal to talk about two of you running for president do that again. Is that from the corn popping? What, the corn cob speech? I think it is, yeah. The thing about I got hairy legs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something about going by the pool. Yes.

No he's rubbing is he was a lifeguard and he fucking stared down the local gang leader cornershop pop that what the story is. Yeah.

And he had a chain and then they were going instead of fighting maybe they became friends and he was like, oh I'm sorry, I called you Mr. Williams in front with razor wielding gangster name.

Yeah, he used to rust their razors in a barrel.

That's a real story. That's the whole story. That's the same with the pool speech. It's just I only heard the the legs in the pool part. I think I didn't know about this other guy because now I'm I need to hear this. Are we allowed to play this?

Is this news? How does this work? Yeah. Okay, let's hear the audio to it.

It says and I was one of the guards and there were not the three meter board. And you fell off sideways.

You landed on the dance to man over there and pop closer laugh track on this one.

The porn pop is he projected a bunch of bad boys when I did. And back in those days, things have changed. One of the things had to use if you use pomade in your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap. And so he up on the board. When I said, Hey, Esther, you off the board, I'll come up and drag you off where he came off and he said, I'll meet you outside my car.

This was mostly these were all public housing behind it. My car. There was a gate out here. I parked my car outside the gate and I he said, I'll be waiting for you right by three guys and straight razors. Not a joke. There's a guy named Bill right now, the only white guy. And he did all the polls. He was the mechanic. And I said, well, am I going to do he said, come down here in the basement where mechanic were all the pool builder is, you know, the chain used to be a chain went across the deep end and he cut off a six foot long chain.

You fold up and you walk out with that chain and you walk to the car and say, you may cut me, man, but I'm going to wrap this chain around your head. I said, you're kidding me. He said, no, if you don't, don't come back. And he was right. So I walked out with the chain and I walked up to my car and that's that. Those days used to be the straight razor, bang them on the curb, get rusty, put them in the rain barrel, get a rusty.

And I looked at them, but I was smart then I said, first of all, I said, well, I tell you, get off the board, you get off the board, I'll kick you out again. But I shouldn't have called you Esther Williams. I apologize for that.

Pauses for a second. You know, Mr. Williams Williams's.

Oh, we're almost done. We're almost done. Go ahead. Keep it going for a second. He's only a few more seconds to go to work.

He said, you apologize to me. I said, I apologize for that, not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said. He said, OK, close, straight razor. My heart began to beat again.

That how polite with those children being, by the way, during that fucking that was one of the things I was going to say when I paused it like no one's paying attention to him. All those kids are talking.

They all went to a happy place.

They're all just talking about guys running for president and they're behind him and he's on stage.

Was this president or president something? I thought something else. I don't know what it is, but he's running for president while this is going on for sure. He's got. Look, there's that thing. The city of where is it? Because it says it on that little city symbol that's on the front of the podium, Delaware.

So who set this up?

Well, you have a bunch of kids on stage behind him, not paying attention. Why gives his long winded story about razorblades and chains and basically they apologize to each other.

And then it's crazy that he's a presumptive. It's crazy to run him. It's absolutely fucking crazy.

It's weird, man. It's weird. You know, it was interesting. It was interesting talking to Owen Smith yesterday because I love Owen. He's a really brilliant.

Oh, yeah. I like brilliant comedian, like one of the best guys I know. And we were talking about and he said, I like the Biden makes me feel like makes me feel like things to be normal again.

Like I think he's saying of the people that go like this. And that's not a small amount of people. Yeah. There's like so Obama rubbed off on it. But yeah, Biden was never a guy who is going to get elected before that. He's certainly not now. It's just trying to get that, that feeling back and it's not coming back. They got to fucking.

But you've never seen a greater example of team loyalty that.

Yes. And this this one right here, that's what this is, one hundred percent, because no one on the left wants to talk about these crazy, long winded speeches and things that don't make the lefties I learned about it watching.

I think Jimmy Door, the people on the left. This is why they lost. I mean, I say that they lost when fucking thenet came out.

But like the people, people on the left didn't want him and and they weren't on board, Bernie, like Bernie saying, hey, go along with Biden.

People are following Bernie because the what they thought his policies would be not necessarily like a cult of personality. So they don't give a shit. If Bernie says vote for Biden, they're like they were voting for way more lefty shit. Yeah. And not the normal feeling if like, they they hate those. The real lefties can't stand like a Olwyn Smith Democrat right. Above all else.

They wanted it changed. They wanted the real lefties want everything to trump the Republicans.

I'd have their thing with Trump just trash. He trounced them when he came in. Right. And they had they're like, well, they're like his bitch now. And so they had that fight. There's no one. Joe, Bernie was never going to do that with the Democrats.

It's like crazy that it's all about likability and electability.

Like, that's really what it's all about when people like simple, clear message chance due to simple, clear message and see the Biden thing.

You're right that people just want to feel normal again, like, yeah, I don't know how that was Owen's take.

That was how he felt him personally. Yeah.

If they could make that into a slogan, I just want to feel normal again, that would be like a magga for them. But something's got to come up with that.

Well, dude, you got to look back in time and you look at history, all the mistakes that were made throughout history, you know, that's what you're reading about when you're reading about lost wars and invasions that went terrible.

You're hearing about trials and errors and mistakes.

Well, me see people's fucking principles. How? Yeah, because, I mean, it wasn't especially with Biden, the thing of all the people that were crowing about believe her and all that shit. Right. That are like, well, you can't sometimes people are lying.

Oh, are they now when he came after him. Yeah, it's really despicable me. Yeah.

Well, there's only a few people out there that don't do that, that are in like the media that are in this that sort of the media loves this shit more than, I mean, how they hate Trump when it's like 90 percent their fucking fault part.

It's there's a lot of different things going on. Did you see, like, sports? It's like you want your team to win. It's a lot.

It's a huge amount of that. But you know, that movie Annihilation when Natalie Portman.

Yeah, that was the one where they they there was a by the same guy who made ex machina, right?

Yes. Yeah. That was really good.

Remember the end and Natalie Portman, there's like don't spoiler alert for everybody. This is quarantine. People could see that movie now. All right.

Well, when me see just like they've had enough time to watch it, I'm just kidding.

When she's there's a thing of her that's rainbow colored that's like a duplicate of her. Right. Right, right. And she's trying to run. It's pressing against the door. She's fighting it. And then she stops for a minute and then she gives it a grenade and pulls it in and gets away by being the more she would fight it, it would give equal real. Back at her, that's what these people it's like trumps your fucking reflection and you hate it, and the more they fight it, the more it presses them back up against the door.

And that's that's there's they're never going to figure out how to just, like, give him the grenade and pull the pin and walk away because they can't like he's definitely makes mistakes.

But they are also so wrapped up in everything that he does in a way that they distort even things that probably turn out to be a good idea.

He plans for that. He doesn't see the people that just could get ruined by one minor thing, like I'll do a thing every fucking day and what are you going to do?

And people like these, like a bunch of people just don't follow them. Are they like it's genius.

You if you hate his guts, you can't say it was so wound up that this is look, anytime you get too emotional about things, your view of things get distorted.

It's one of things that happens and fights all the time. You see fighters talk shit to each other. Right. And one of the reasons why they talk shit to each other, because they're trying to get the other person emotionally invested in the fight right there, trying to get them angry and pissed off where they're going to do something irrational. They're not going to be logical.

Right. But that's what you're seeing. You're seeing that with him. You know, instead of them analyzing it. It's like everything is a personal affront. And that must be people that vote for a feltlike, that Obama feeling.

That's why it's such an offense. It's it's not about anything Obama did or didn't do. It's the feeling that people got. It's it's been offended. Right.

Well, that's what I want that back always said about him, like, forget about his policies. Like he was a great statesman the way he would talk. Yes. That's the thing. Yes.

He was reserved and he was articulate and smooth. And when you would hear him talk like that's an excellent representation of the United States.

Yeah, right. That's our that's our one of our top dudes. Makes sense.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And like even keeled didn't get angry. I expect certain bourgeois norms. Yeah.

Right. Whereas like the thing with Trump is that he's you know, like you said, he's not really a politician, so he's just being the guy he's always been. And everybody's like, I thought you were going to be a president, though. I thought you going to act like we need because you want to be called Pote.

I thought people got him for specifically the opposite of that. And that's how it's done now.

So people still want that the West Wing or whatever the fuck like that's what it is. It's like your West Wing kind of people that you want reform, real reform.

You should be kind of happy that he exposed it.

What I think it exposes is how not rigged it is, because if someone controlled it, no fucking way.

Do you know they only roll some of it.

You can get your fist on the fucking of Bernie. Yeah.

And getting in the way, who's going to win the fucking of Bernie, though, is it's crazy.

It's like you're watching Bernie Sanders said to me, listen, if you get bulldozed like that, you're not. You're right. I think he's going to genuinely good man, I think is why he's unfit to be the president. You can't this is not a job for that.

Well, this is one of the reasons why they're so scared of Tulsi Gabbard, because she doesn't lay down like that. You see it once. She had that moment with Kamala Harris in the debates.

Oh, yeah. She's that was great, by the way.

It's fucking amazing. Instead of saying, wow, this lady is dynamic, they're like, oh, shit, we can't really control her. Right. She's she's going to attack our our top lady.

Yeah, that's panel going after people.

She's saying things that, you know, you really if you want your team to win, you're not going to give up those cards so early.

But, well, they haven't. There's internal thing you've got to settle with all the people that are the actual left that are like mad and they want their trump.

Yeah, right. So they're not going to go along with the same because because I think a lot of like just liberals don't get that.

The the lefties hate you more than they hate a Nazi. They hate you more than any right wing. You're just a regular liberal. That's who they want to get. That's why they turn on Ellen or whoever the fuck you know, because they're waiting to have a reason to turn on you.

Right. There's no one's going to pass the purity test. No one. They're just looking for something. And I think that, again, it goes back to the thing like, that's not nice. Like, if all your your constant now is not the time to be nice, Joe.

Now is the time for rage. Yeah. Oh, there was someone that someone wrote something about. Oh, that guy from CNN. What's his name. Brian Stelter.

Stelter looks like divine out of Drak.

That's that guy he wrote something about about like angry journalism. Right.

What he wrote it was like widely criticized.

Why? Well, because it was like basically he's admitting that this is like you're not doing journalism. This is like editorial. It's an editorial director.

Very. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're a fat guy. Jeff Zucker calling for activism more than you're calling for.

Just marketing the news. It just you believe that you're correct.

So you're going to, like, push your idea. I mean, this is what we go to the news. What we really want is someone who's going to tell us exactly what happened without any political bent to it. That's what we really want.

By the way, I still even saying that. I still expect I'm probably going to see a little bit of it. People figure and there's probably going to be that. And when I was a kid, it was like that, but not near to now where it's become like a catty gossip mixed with news. Yeah. Now it's funny because it's all it's all because women shared more online. That's why they're targeting the emotions of women. That that's specifically this is by design.

This is with the same thing we're talking about with the Elon Musk thing. Like, how could you say that he didn't do that. When he can, he can show you all these tweets, like, how can you how can you accuse someone just out to get him?

Dude, I mean, the only thing, though, right? Like, how is that where are we in the news?

It's like some rapper talking about how the cops won't leave them alone. Like he's like a guy like the cops are always going to bother him, you know, like he just got on the bad side of it's an institution. And all these institutions, if you talk about they hate you like they have it in for you.

It's crazy.

I think like a cop that's corrupt, but. Well, the thin blue line and you're a fucking dirty like. Yeah, but that's how they are with Elon Musk. So they are with a bunch of people.

That's so crazy. It's not like so much about just as let's say is it is about processing in the system and shit. That's what they're that's their job, OK. And that's what they that's what they fucking did.

You find his quote, a bunch of people had made a meme out of it and were passing it around him calling. I forget the expression that he used. But I read I really wish I could remember because I looked at someone's tweet about it or Instagram about it, and they were saying, finally, you know, you're admitting what you really do.

Finally, you admitting that your rage, journalistic instincts are show. Yeah, right. It's rage journalism. You know, it's been open for it.

They've been open like that for a while.

I feel like we need somewhere that's going to give us the information. Just clear, 100 percent dedicated to factual information without any political bend at all.

No one's telling people somebody would be like, it's not possible. So it might as well be my politics. It's got to be possible. It's going to be used to be possible. Yeah, it's got to be possible to just just read the news, because if you if you look at it like there's got to be some it that will start getting views and you know what I mean?

Like somebody who fills that niche. Right.

It will be successful because there's going to be people who should be able to report on maybe dumb shit that Trump tweets and also report that report on the really important things that are happened that are good for you.

He should just stop reporting on Trump's tweets. Just try it. Just fucking try it for a minute.

You're playing right into his hand first. It's like annihilation. They look at each other like he and then while while they do that, he gets like a judge in or something. He does it all the time. Yeah, it's very savvy, dude.

Always very savvy. And a lot of ways it's like the fake, not sophisticated language that he uses.

It's almost like he uses that to kind of throw you off the trail of, like, dunking with crazy hair. He's got his own crazy hair.

It's almost like in some ways it throws something about crazy hair that really it throws you off the trail.

But it's you know, there's no there's no newspaper or no no thing that I subscribe to or I don't get at least some political bias one way or the other.

You know what?

Just clearly, mark the stuff that's editorial or like, you know, this is not news, just market is that there has to have news and then the news, you save one for the part that it goes, yeah, everybody just do their job. You don't have to fucking do The Daily Show. I blame a lot of this on The Daily Show, not because it was bad a whole bunch of people that became news for them. Right.

And so then all like all the other ones, like, why don't we have it like The Daily Show, but more news than comedy. That's so true. And people. It's terrible.

It's terrible. It's. A good point, and I never even considered. I mean, I didn't make it up, but somebody must have said it. I'm sure someone said it. But it's a it's a great point. It's right. That's news for a lot of kids. Like college kids are barely paying attention to flipping through Comedy Central and Jon Stewart's.

They're telling them what's going on in their hilarious way in a hilarious Trevor Noah wasn't like, that's a different generation because I just feel like, why is it I'm by the way, I know I met him before, like, I like him, but I'm just I'm like, why are you of some guy that shows not American? Why? Like, what is with a guy with a foreign accent here? It's beautiful. All these all these shows that are like this, it's always someone not from here.

That's interesting.

Like John Oliver. Same thing.

And I even like him. He's they seem to have a fucking what do you call it, like a I don't have that kind of feeling of like I like when I always have a level of that, like for you.

Right. Like I can imagine to England doing a political show about their politics.

That's true. I can't even fathom that. That is kind of funny. So that's just like a thing that you could probably do it.

Like if you went to Ireland to try to do something about it. What will you be doing? Holland Yeah.

He had a show in Holland that wasn't even the Tom Rhodes show. He had to play a character. The character was the talk show host. Yeah.

So, like, he couldn't just be a talk show host. So instead of Tom Rhodes, he'd be like Pete McGillicuddy, like you had it. But then it's a talk show.

It was like the Pete McGillicuddy show starring Tom Rhodes or something like that, not Pete McGillicuddy.

What was the name of The Master? That's right. Kevin Masters show starring.

It wasn't a sitcom, though, right? No, but it was like a talk show host where a talk show, rather, where he would play a guy that was different than Kevin Masters.

I mean, did that what they did or did you just call it the Kevin Masters show? And he would say, I'm Tom Rhodes? I don't know.

Oh, is it like a joke of late? Oh, no, it's a joke. You could only pull off in Hollywood when everybody's high on mushroom's and tired from going before you. Pretty much.

Right. So it it is. Yes. Is Kevin Masters was a generic American and the producers used to fill in until they find an actual host.

Holland a fascinating place, man. It's a fascinating place because it was like one of the first places where people go to get hi, I haven't either. But it's also the place that produced some of the best kick boxers ever.

Why did I kind of need a load of them came out of Holland. Van Hollen is like the motherland for bad ass kick boxers. Like when you hear about a kickboxer, you hear about him from Holland. It's like hearing about a jujitsu black belt from Brazil.

You're like, whoa, like Holland. Yeah.

Why is it do they're animals in Belgium have a lot of like Van Damme kind of people too? I'm sure they do.

I don't know anything about Belgium, but horizontal stripes right into Flip's and with black and white checkered vans on.

Yeah, there's Holland has also really large people like I think the average height for a man is six feet tall. Is that right? Yeah. Women are really big there, too.

They have a bunch of great heavyweight kickboxing champions like Peter Årets. He came out of Holland are so many of our Nesto Oost Anasta, whose is like one of the most brilliant and beautiful technicians of all time.

He came out of Holland.

Yeah, it's kickboxing that of like that in jujitsu at the two. Esmay is that like the things like you everybody basically just have to know.

Yeah, you have to know wrestling too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But wrestlers have to know submission's as well and everybody has to know. Stand up because you're standing up. Yeah you got it.

But it's typically there's a few guys like stand up comedy, you know, no stand up like everyone. It's just two different types, two different guys to stand up. When you say stand up, you mean striking.

I got my Jadakiss. I got a spot at the store. Hilarious.

I don't even think about it that way. I have in my mind, I have two different types of standup that I don't even I just say it. You got to work on your stand up like people.

People do say that like you go to work and you stand up and that's funny. Holy shit. I was trying to get to work striking that. That's what it means. But it basically means stuff that you do on your feet. Like he's been working a lot on stand up.

Do you remember ever seeing like I remember seeing it on, like a Star Trek episode or any any kind of sci fi with to the martial arts of the future like this? Martial art is all the culmination of all.

And they did it on Star Trek. Like this is their future martial arts. It's nothing like em. I don't remember. It's like ridiculous.

It was like a ridiculous high kicking like. Well, that's where Bruce Lee was brilliant.

Bruce Lee kind of figured it out. Bruce Lee, in a lot of his movies, sort of depicted mixed martial arts fights.

Do you think in your life that Bruce Lee could beat Brad Pitt in real life, though?

I don't think he would have fought anybody, man. Not like that. That's that was. You get back to that story about Quentin Tarantino's depiction of him, I don't think he would have done that. I think he would have behaved like that. He wasn't a buffoon. You know, he was a he was a tough guy. I'm sure he was very confident.

But when you read the things that he wrote and when you see the interviews that he gave, where he talks about things, he was a very deep thinker. He wasn't he wasn't a buffoon. He would talk about things in a very profound way.

So just the way I didn't like how they portrayed Charles Manson either in that movie, dude, you got to read this.

You've got to read this book and get it. Right now, it's Tom O'Neill's chaos, Charles Manson, the CIA and the secret history of the 60s. If you just I listen to the audio version of it, he gave me this, but the fucking podcast I did with him blew my mind.

Oh, my mind. Yeah. Doing some things are crazy, but this one, this one's even more crazy because it's all about these psychiatrists that were experimenting on hippies with acid.

Isn't that why the Unabomber fucking. Yes. Because they did a hippie experiment on him when he was like a teenager. He was part of the Harvard LSD phase.

Yeah, yeah. That's fucking crazy, dude.

They did it to a lot of people. That's what this this book ultimately turned out to be about. Tom O'Neil wrote this over 20 years, took 20 years for him to put all this together. He started as a small story. I think it was like a 5000 word story for Vanity Fair or no premier premier magazine. And that magazine eventually went under. And then he got a book deal and he missed a deadline because he kept diving deeper and deeper into M.K. Ultra and CIA.

Yeah, dude, it oh, it's crazy that this book is a mind blower because it's all factual.

He's got 60 pages of references and citations at the back of it.

I will totally listen to this book since I can't get it. Yeah. Did they sold out. I didn't prepare you.

Have you ever read the manifesto the Unabomber man. No, I didn't. I didn't. It's crazy how how almost reasonable is this?

Like technology is going to be a problem. It's very weird, just like I don't see the connection of we blew these people up for the uvular point you agree with. But it almost they're so rational. It sounds like he came from the future and he had to make those bombs. I bet that's what he thought.

I mean, it reads like that. It's wild, dude.

There's a guy named Jolli West that's a part of these MK ultra experiments and he's connected to the Manson family and all these other different people.

But that was why the Manson family, because Charles Manson was a guy that for sure, they gave him acid, they gave mass in prison, at least the way they're describing the possibility he was even talking about certain doctors. And he has the last name, the doctors, the last name of the doctors, a part of this program, and doctors that treated him always in prison. And he comes out of prison and there's evidence that he gets released over and over and over again every time he violates parole.

Someone on high wants him out on the streets. And he's got a large supply of acid and he's got very sophisticated techniques. It is utilizing that he learned in jail sophisticated techniques of how to how to brainwash hippies on acid, get them to fuck each other the way they use orgies.

You're just a very manipulative criminal.

It's not you can figure out how to manipulate it like you certainly can't training for that.

But we're talking about within two years he's got a murder.

And people I think the pimp lessons he learned helped him do that. You know, it's their disassociation with reality through LSD, through constant trips, daily trips.

I think I think like for brainwashing. I'm just saying I'm sure he did that. Yeah. I don't know that he did it for the CIA. Like, I could easily see him for his own reasons, brainwashing people that.

Let me clarify. When I say he was a part of a CIA experiment, I don't mean he did what he did for the CIA, what I militarise.

They let him do what he was doing and they encouraged him. That's very I believe, gave him drugs.

That's like the story of. Yes, that's very believable. If if you're letting this guy keep getting released every time he robs a car or someone's house or when, you know, you think he's going to somehow or another be locked up and you want him out on the street doing this thing, and they were trying to discredit the hippie movement and the anti-war movement back. Right. And that's part of the way they did it. They infiltrated these groups in one way or another.

And one of them would be to take a guy like, you know, that, yeah, I like the like the old Mariel boatlift when they jump to Cuba, empty their prisons into America, like, yeah, fuck you.

Yeah, that's a that's a yeah. Well, that's a pretty well-known thing. The thing about the drugs, like, well it was just, you know.

Yeah, it's a pretty well no doubt the weak elements of society and we'll get a lot of information while it's also they didn't exactly know what would happen when you dose people up with acid.

Back then, there was a lot of experiment.

We got a lot of great info from that not to go. And it's not so easy to get those.

I'm sure there's a part of those programs, too, right?

I mean, when they start doing that, the Japanese guy who's like worse than fucking Mengele, a camera, what it's called the it's so crazy, the shit this guy did to people. He he got up, they want to know what he learned from his human medical experiments. Oh, so he they let him off. Oh, Jesus Christ, I wish I remember the name of it. The Japanese, it's but it is mostly done to Chinese, you know, prisoners, but like, you know, cold and pressure and all.

Like it's fucking grizzly there. Yeah. And it's just that he did so many amoral like experiment.

He there's knowledge that helps humanity that they got the same reason we go put that great golden record in space.

The people had useful knowledge. Yes.

That crazy. So. Educate yourself if that's like it's more important that you tell us how many pounds of pressure it takes to crush a little kid's head.

Yeah, we did not know that officially. Officially.

Tell us what you got. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just let him go.

Imagine being that guy who killed, like, hundreds of people and they just let you go.

Just imagine you like eating ice cream at a diner, just fucking sitting by yourself.

I doubt you have a cup of coffee eating ice cream. Nobody even knows you know it. Thank you. I'd like one more, please.

Didn't they have that shiraishi? That's the guy.

That's the guy. Jesus Christ. He led in the development and application of biological weapons that you didn't 731 and how do you say that word? Manchukuo, Manchukuo, Manchukuo, how do you say that? Manchukuo. Yeah, but in Chuco, the U and the O together.

How do you say that probably means basically Chuco Manchego any way.

How are we say it during the second Seno Japanese war from 1937 to 1945, including the bubonic plague attacks.

Oh, and Chinese cities. Oh my God. And the planned attack against the United States. The blossoms. Holy fuck, man, oh, isn't that the one where they would send the balloons across the country? Yeah, it didn't. Yeah, it didn't work. Or these bats or what to do with the operation cherry blossoms at night.

Imagine like this is my plan.

Operation cherry blossoms at night, bio warfare.

They're going to drop. The byplay, cholera, smallpox. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So they were going to do that to America in balloons. Is that what they're going to do?

I think the thing to come at us in the three most vulnerable way, our love of balloons.

Yeah. No one would ever want to do a fucking song. 99 red balloons go by. That was about Shiraishi, 99 balloons. And that was a big song when I was in high school.

Know the girl was cute. Yeah. OK, these killed six American civilians near Bly, Oregon. I thought that crashed into a farm in Medford, Oregon, and caused a short circuit on the power power lines supplying electricity for the nuclear reactor cooling pumps in the Manhattan Project production facility. Holy shit, dude.

Did you know what were they dropping on him? They had balloons with bombs attached to them. But was it supposed to be with plague or something? Well, I don't know.

Jamie said that was part of it. But what I did hear on there was an episode they did about this on one of my favorite podcasts, which is Radiolab.

Radiolab did a whole series or a whole episode, rather, about these balloons that people would find these non detonated balloons.

And I think people accidently blew themselves up a couple of times. Wow.

Yeah, I think people found them and then they they they found out after the war about the project.

But I think a bunch of them made it here and some of them went off and some of them didn't go off as contaminated fleas drop contaminated fleas.

Oh my God, that's so dark. Jesus Christ, I'm so glad we're friends with Japan now. Yeah, yeah, it's a dark day in China, all the all the bad guys and like you, I'd watch like the local TV. So everything is about a mean Japanese general and like a brave Chinese, somebody is really. Yeah. That's like how like Nazis in Inglorious Bat. Like, yeah. Nazis are a pop culture. You go to like we could always use as a villain like that Japan.

Is that to China.

Will you and I had this conversation about, say, a person's name, but someone saying why isn't it OK to punch Nazis like oh yeah, yeah right, right.

I've had that same conversation with people. It's totally you and I both like, yeah, by all means punch Nazi.

But I want to just see your Nazi detector. You're using this when you're Nazi dowsing to find these Nazis.

I'd like I can't just go of your word like, no, I'll handle it because I read someone called Ben Shapiro a Nazi.

I know there's a guy.

I think maybe you're going to have one, but I like him. He's a guy on YouTube that reviews comic books that he fucking got. It's crazy what they did to him.

Oh, I've never heard the story. A great story. What is it called? Something comics. What does it say?

It's called honor. It's called I don't know his name. Jewboy Zack. I forget. What is is his comics matters, what your boy, Zack, is another chance. And so what happened with him was the story they made him into, like some kind of crazy man.

It was some kind of Nazi. I mean, he's the most reasonable. The reviews are so utterly reasonable.

OK, where and by the way, guy gives credit to people when they're he thinks they're good, like there's nothing if you actually look that way. So there's nothing there at all. But because he mocks like that dumb shit they do in comics now, they made him they're like he's a white nationalist.

Whatever they're doing, he has a lawsuit because he did that injecting social justice warrior credos into the comic books now. Right?

Well, there's a little power. There's a little fiefdom of like Portland weirdos that I guess run comics.

But I didn't know this chiefdom of Portland weirdo's is the best description. Besides, blame The Daily Show. I blame Portlandia for the other half the fans.

Just so you know, before you guys fucking unleash Kathy Liu out of it, we're going to have some laughs and fucking do that.

So true. They are the that is the liberal epicenter. That's Mecca, like the Comedy Store is Mecca for comics. That's a Mecca for social justice.

What it's like in a really annoying like I didn't know I did a show comedy show at Stonewall one time and, you know, Stonewall like the historic like with a gays fought the cops and the where's that?

Where's in New York, OK.

And I thought it'd be a good show because you know this back in the days of, you know, where Joan Rivers was like a gay, like, you know, like so I assume to be a great crowd was awful.

Really.

Yeah. And the guy was cut. My hair is like, notice that you don't you know, somewhere like cool gays are fucking stonewall. That's like some dipshit living out their worst fantasy of being gay like. So I didn't realize it was like it's like going to hate Street in San Francisco.

Oh yeah. You're like journalists, not 67 fuckface.

Yes. So I think there's a lot of that setting in right there trying to bring it back.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, any time there's a place where hippies, it's like that's a fire.

I miss it'll burn out hippies, hippies were a lot more fun, right?

But they they burn out. It burns. It's like there's no fuel there. And eventually it goes away in a newish thing to me of that is the the Twitter, like certain groups just got marketed to based on lazy.

Right. Following like, oh, what is Twitter say. Like that should never be an article anymore. Like Twitter is saying there should never be a thing I need to know about ever.

Well that's what. Yeah. So, so that got catered to so much. It created these bubble around people. That's fucking crazy. And they, and they're getting fed, it's still just to sell them products. And you know, there's this virus is going to fucking pop that bubble that it's like bad real estate right now being a fucking being woak. There's a little estate market that has is going to be upset about stupid shit when real shit's going down.

So the value is way down. Yeah, it's out of fashion. Well, that's where it came from in the first place. Came from not enough real problems. Yeah.

Yeah that's right. I people know I got the same thing.

I never could get emotional about whose president I was in a doomsday cult.

Like I thought, like I thought I was going to kill all of you by now was how was I absolutely thought. Yeah, any minute. And this is going to. So then, you know, and so people think that's the end of the world, like they say that.

But have you ever seen Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Yeah. That's a funny show.

Do you really. Oh, yeah, the first episode of that, I mean, I didn't live underground with Jon Hamm, but but certainly that mindset.

Yeah, funny fucking show, it's just communal reinforcement keeps you in there. And also the people around me were nice, like I mean, I'm not bitter about it.

It's just like I can't ever be or don't stumble your brother.

Like, I'm I'm not seeing any kind of courage or anything like I'm compulsive.

Well, for a guy like you, it's always important for a guy like you to talk about it, especially a guy like you who's all the way out and is now comic, because people need to understand that it's a trap that you can get sucked into.

It's like a pattern of behavior and thinking. And you get like this confirmation from all the people that you're around, everybody doing the same thing.

We all could get sucked in. I think I'm only less susceptible to that now just because of growing up in that room. So so because it's such an obsessive thing to me, I'll see it. I'm more likely to see it where it's not and not see it.

But some people are not they're not going to understand that if you don't open religion, if you didn't grow up in a religion where you had to do it right, you have no idea. You don't understand religious people. And it shocks me to the level that people don't understand.

It's almost like we need another word because you know what you're saying, that like social justice, warrior behavior and a lot of ways it gets very religious. Yeah, it is like and it gets religious also for Republican conservative type of behavior that gets very religious, too, like you could tell your religion when it becomes called WOAK.

Yeah, but this sounds like. Right. You got to think anything that's devoted to right.

Where that you said it, that team thing like, well, we got to stay on the team.

Have you ever had a conversation like here's an example with right wing person who doesn't believe in climate change? Oh yeah. I used to always argue with Nick. Nick DePaolo. Yeah. When we're doing a he doesn't believe in climate change.

Come on. No doubt about that. But to Polyzoidis, beyond that, look, it was the Hulu thing that Louis she's so fucking hot.

Louis the horse and people.

Oh. So like he's the he's awesome to hang out with waiting to shoot something was like it was he was awesome.

But arguing about political shit, he gets like gets heated. What do you love Obama.

Like immediately goes. But yeah but you know, I like him. I think I wouldn't want him not to say what he thinks, but he said.

I don't know something about Obama, I don't know some stupid. You should be able to say whatever you want to say and I have no issues engaging people like that. I'm used to knocking on strangers door so nobody want to talk about their thing, threatens me in any way. Like proselytizing does not bother me.

You know, it will bother me. Like, if you're not I'm not allowed to hear it because I don't need someone to tell me what I can.

Do you think there's less examples of that on the right than there on the left of people like with and sort of compulsive speech?

I just compulsive some something.

I think that the people that are on the people that whoever needs to worry about are all the people that are too far to one or the other. Right. I agree. And and, you know, there's every category, every goddamn thing. It's now there can't just be two parties, which is the good one, and then the immoral evil ones. Yeah.

So ridiculous. That's crazy. That is, by the way, sixty eight fucking genders and only two sides of politics.

That's fucking incredible. It's so true. It's so true.

Yeah. So that's what happened. I got your boy Zach. You got fucking you're with us or you're not. Yeah. That's the problem.

They want compliance. It's a game. It's not just people that have an ideology and some people agree with it and some people don't. It's a game of complaint.

Did you see the new movie? What did you see the new mutants thing? Mutants, the new mutants, the comic, the Marvel know.

Well, Marvel's reboot of the New Mutants.

You said earlier the new comics. Okay, remember? Right.

But what is the new mutants? It's not it's what is it called?

You mean a TV show? Not the name. I'm sorry. Not the new mutants. The new warriors. Have you seen the most. The most woak? No. What is just going to look like? You don't think it's a joke, really? Yeah. So this is the kind of thing he would be laughing at. OK, and people because I have read comics for like since I was a kid. Yeah.

I can't book movies, but everybody likes the movies, but they should it should be easier than ever to give kids the comics.

OK, what is this. No, OK, we have talked about this snowflake in safe space. Yeah.

So this is like some kind of trolling. But basically they've been doing this in comics for the last you know, it's like a nerdy is having comics and like Star Wars and all that shit was like nerdy guys that don't get laid stuff at one point.

And then it became kind of cool to be a nerd and then it became a hot property. And so they got claimed by like the Portland the Catholic Portland thing.

That's what the what comes of it.

This unironically, look how unironically they swapped the gender colors. Well, people are mad and pink. Yeah.

People that are fucking well, I don't even know whose jurisdiction this is, but people were mad at this. The people that were trying to pander to were like, I don't dress like this.

You better not. It's ridiculous if you dress like that. Even people that don't want to make fun of you will start making fun of you.

Well, it just looks like I would give up. I'm like, I can't mock you better than you're doing yourself.

Like what?

OK, I mean, if I was going to if I was like, hey, why don't you make fun of the the stupidest WOAK comic you could think of?

That would be my characters throw her balls is bigger than his balls too, if he knows that. Well, how do you know that's the woman. Well I'm assuming cause it's blue in the blue with the hips like a woman is the woman and the one that's like a man. I'm assuming that's a man.

It's a trick question. It's a woman. It's a trick question. The answer is you're a piece of shit, you fucking pig. You cis gendered ass fuck.

Yeah. Well wait then. Here's I'll negative isn't as funny as. Oh wait, where's the girl with the backpack. That's the other one small screen to hold the screen time.

He has goggles over his eyes because he was exposed to his grandfather's internet gas.

His grandfather's experimental. It's really over it. Oh she's fucking hot.

That's the old that's the old warriors'. Oh, those are the old ones. Yeah. Father's back in the good days.

Shit. Where's the girl with the backpack.

Oh, so they stack up to top this. Right. This is the main. No that's not. What do you think her power is. Her power is eating cake.

Know what, it's a magical backpack that has unlimited snacks. No, I'm making that up.

She just has a magical backpack. Oh my God. A pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, which you could pull out useful or random objects. OK, so look at the joy. So it's not always under her control, though. She claims to get her power from God, but not the God you're thinking of. Jesus Christ, I can't do this.

But look at the joint.

Let me see the drawings. Look her in the eyes. Why are you. So she looks strong, like she carry a lot of stuff on her back.

What non-magical she gets too much.

You can't be a superhero. You eat too much. It's like, you know. How do you like how Wendy from Wendy has got real big when they showed her again this is like what happened to Dora the Explorer. She oh, she got older and I wound up.

I can't. They want some. And that like, that's a no, that's that's like that and that's a luxury that's like when you have the luxury of being like like Gillette, they're like, are you good enough to get Gillette as opposed to being like, please buy, I think wear.

But if you wear a fucking razor company, that's what this is.

Fuck you to the people that are into that shit, which you can only do in a good economy like now people. But I love you. Shit. You don't get to just troll them. Right?

Good point. All right. It's going to be harder to sell things or draw me and make me laugh like I will give it to that guy who made that up. Right.

Well, that's where the benefit of bad things actually comes in. Sometimes, like some of the best things are bad things that are good by accident, right? Yeah. Like what? The real movie. You see the movie.

Yeah, we I just introduced that movie in New York for a I did it for a promo thing for Comedy Central first, but then I had never seen the movie, so I kept going back and like hosting it and then we made a fake sequel to it. This guy, George Glass, and he he knew Tommy. So Tommy would leave in these long messages.

It's fucking as how long ago this was. And the guy who played. Oh, hi, Mark. Greg, his name is he wrote that book that they made the movie. The guy's cool shit.

The guy who plays Mark. Yeah. And put the other guy, the one who got a blowjob and he had like he's like, oh, he shiver me timbers or something because he left as I left me.

Underwear's in your remember that guy and gets a blowjob on. What's his name, Rizos Couch. I don't remember that. Yeah, I remember every character I saw a bunch of times. I don't think I've ever seen it all the way through. I think I've always seen scenes.

I've never gone now. I never went to the it was like, well, at the time.

I don't know if it does now, but I had like that Rocky Horror Picture Show thing, which I never did that.

So at movie theaters, people go and like this movie group watching it, it feels like right to yell at it. I swear to God, like I admit, I thought it was like a I'm like, I'm not going to get immediately.

It was like, oh, this. I really understand this. And people yell, sometimes I have a band playing and like, yeah, it was great, it's fucking all but the Rocky Horror Picture Show, they do that because they actually like it.

Yeah, but this is a different vibe, you know.

It's very hard. I mean, he's genuinely a fucking maniac and hard to deal with. I had to have to I had my girlfriend and another friend dressed kind of like slutty and distract him so he wouldn't see the parody thing we made before we showed it in the movie.

Look at the reviews. Yeah, but that did nobody listen to make a thing that's watchable, bad is like that's a beautiful thing that can only it is rarely happen.

Yeah, it's interesting. Like, the room is so unfeasibly bad, it has become a cult hit.

Trust me, this is the worst movie you will ever see ever in your entire life, ever.

But it's it's like but it's amazing because when they say worst, they have to be I mean, watchable where it's not boring. That's the thing. Right. It's just not boring.

So I think that's like a real lightning in a bottle.

It's the worst movie because they're trying to make a good movie. It's not the worst movie to watch. I think it's the best go to a thing, a theater of people. It's like the best people shouting at the screen because you have cancer.

The old lady with cancer, it's it's such a crazy movie.

When did you see it? When did you.

I only see I've only seen it on like I guess it was DVD at the time or whatever, and I only watch like part of it. And then I had to shut it off my.

You can't do this. Did you ever see that? I remember that. I remember those billboards, Jamie, when I when I lived here early in the Hollywood days, right after they made this movie, I would drive around and see that billboard.

It was up there forever.

Forever. He had the room, the movie.

We were like, oh, the room movie dotcom. You drive by it.

Like, what year was that? I can't I'm trying to remember I might have made it up because I'm like I've seen this before, like I've seen it in person would have been.

But I don't know what he might have had it up. He might have had it up still.

He was he had a billboard up forever, you know.

Here was the movie made in three. It said what?

How is that possible? Well, I missed it. I would have thought it was way or not. But he had multiple billboards as one.

It was coming soon. How old is he? Nobody knows. You know, I never saw the top one coming soon. How old is he?

I don't know. He looks like an older fella.

But there's a couple movies like that. Like Showgirls is a movie like that or so I don't remember it.

I just vaguely remember. It's a good one. So at the end of Elizabeth Berkley after that. It's hard to bounce back from some of those movies, but because the movie is so bad or because it was, you know, who knows, man, she went from saved by the bell to being a dirty girl.

She's in the sort of screech the brat pack saved by the bell. Yes. Later. Yes. Wow, that's good.

Yeah. Looking good, Phreak. I just made it. Mario Lopez. Looking good.

Everybody's looking good. So when are they coming back as the other the parents.

Yes, I'm sure Zach is back and there is a bunch of jokes referring to it and there's a bunch of new jokes about like iPads.

And are they going to let Screech back in? I don't think so.

Screech is out there doing speeches about them. I don't think that. Oh, he was mean. The book Behind the Bell or something like that Screech was doing Stand Up. There was Skippy from Family Ties. Remember when he was doing Stand Up? Yes, I lived with him.

Judah Friedlander and is. Oh that's right. Yeah. He said that's right.

Which is like being his room. He's like, you smoke pot all day. And then he would come out and be like, did you.

It was like he was going to have a sandwich and I'm not going to touch it for a while, but I want that sandwich.

So and he would always got freaked out about missing a call to something would happen to him. Does he still do stand up now or. No, I don't know now. I guess he wants to remember I used to room that was his thing.

Is that what it said, Hugo? It's like he's dirty now. Like Skippy with notes. Get it? I don't know.

He would always be there like I never met him. I don't think I maybe one time, but he would always be on the wall or coming next week escaping from family ties. Remember those the first guy that I worked in a club where he worked that I was like, oh yeah, that guy from TV, he's coming next week.

Yeah. Oh, who I a TV. You're the first guy I remember I saw from TV and comedy where I like some of the club was a legendary weird junip.

I remember that guy. Yeah. Yeah. We saw him walking down the street as being a big DJ. We doing the, the what was his shtick.

His prop guy that's from the eighties that used to be on make me laugh all the time. People don't know that before Carrot Top prop guy was a genre. Yeah.

Prop guy. I don't like when they get political problems at all and as a prop pulling out signs and it's all like that scene in excess video from inside.

What is probably remember that Bob Dylan scene, one of the old Bob Dylan guys and the lady had placards and she's throwing them up in the air. Or did Bob Dylan have the placards?

He had it like a couple of different. Yeah, they done that more than once. Right. The people hold up signs. Yeah. It's a it was real, whatever, I didn't find it to be shit, but I know it's a legendary thing of throwing your placards. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, there it is, Bob Dylan. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, I'm thinking of U2.

Didn't Bono do this after he managed to maybe in tribute? I'm thinking of the U2 thing. I'm pretty sure in excess did it. I've never seen before.

I had no idea. Bob Dylan. He was the first guy. I only saw the remake.

He would do it to his the lyrics to his song, what it was. Cue cards everywhere, Subterranean Homesick Blues. And so he would. That's actually him singing the words. So he's doing a music video, but refusing to sing it, just holding up these pieces of paper that have all the different lyrics on them.

Yeah, no, I never saw this version. Yeah. Who did the music and who did the thing that I'm thinking of the mainstream Nexxus did it, was it? Yeah, I think it was in excess. In excess.

Who's the what? The lead singer is one of those dudes that choke me to death jerking off.

Yeah. It wasn't impossible. No, no. I'm asking. Is it. Well, who knows. Once your dad can ask you question.

Somebody told me like a lie because all these musicians are her ex heroin addict. So the only thing that's close to the endorphins of that is a good choke choke just jerking off.

Yeah. Choke jerk. So they do that some versus the top.

Jamie, that was it. To ten different videos here that did a lot of people. Oh, these are all different people.

That did it in different different songs.

Oh my mom. OK, go up to the unisex one.

Well I've never seen you thinking of the top one is pretty famous.

This one's pretty famous media. Yeah, it's right. I'm thinking, wow, I had to like she had no idea. Bob Dylan didn't at first.

He didn't only know the Alexis thing.

Oh yeah. Bob Dylan was the original. Do you think that this guy was he a heroin guy?

Is that why he was a big heroin guy, chose it himself? It's like you burn out your pleasure centers of your brain. So you need some. That's all. Ten cents like an explosion of sensation from a choke jerk.

I never thought of it until you brought it up, but it totally makes sense, right?

If you fucking big deal couldn't shoot up anymore and you wanted to get that rush, he wanted to make this as an invention, like a shark tank invention, which he means dead serious adventure makes me laugh. So it's a belt like it lets go like it's got a sensor for you in case you got a jerk off to you.

But your dad has like a sensor to just release you when you.

But if he lets you go in your unconscious you might bang your head off the floor and die anyway. Yeah. Some things are worth the release. OK, it almost makes you want to try it.

That's such an embarrassing way to die though. I know it's to. There's a preacher that died.

He had a wet suit on. He died doing that.

He had. Oh yeah. I remember that. He had a giant dildo. What's the word for the wet suit. Get messy with the build up. Oh. So he'll come in and this is like, no, I'm just I'm just guessing I would bet it was like a compression.

Hold on that.

But plug the dildo.

So got this dildo up his ass and then it squeezes, sucks it all in place so it can't go anywhere so his ass can't shit it out.

I mean is it that hard to lose a dildo in your ass wet suit.

Your ass would want to shit it out immediately.

And I think he's probably and then the tension formed by that, he's probably been to other rodeos and so he's realized what gets him through. I didn't think he just started at wetsuit level. Let's say that was his first time in the wetsuit and then noos. Wow. And he's a preacher.

That's a lot. Well, it's a lot happening.

A lot of guys sabotage. You know what? I believe it more than ever.

Yeah. Imagine God called to him, said, listen, I'm going to bring you to me, but you got to do it in a humiliating way.

It's like some kind of idea, I imagine, of God. Look, I didn't God try to get people to kill their sons.

Oh, you're talking about was the story of Abraham and Isaac. Yeah. It's to see if you would if you would do it if you kill your son.

It's not. Yeah, it's it's a creepy game. God was playing. Didn't actually go through with it, but it's a creepy game.

Yeah. Well, you know, you're not a fucking right but not a a like a caved you from the massive ages.

Imagine that same God today, but he's only around occasionally and he comes down and talks to us.

Pretty fucked up thing is the view of your son as property. See, this is the whole world. It's like like I'll give you ten more sons. That's in like Jope. That's back when you owned you, right. Your family. Family. Yeah.

And by the way, if you didn't know somebody would kill them or do something, just how. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. I don't judge all of their shit.

But here's the here's the reverse of that. I'm not taking any judgment.

Like, what if Moses saw you doing that? Like, I don't it's not like he's on his fucking business.

But imagine if God was real, but God only came down occasionally and try to get people to do fucked up things like kill their son.

Oh, imagine if one time he was like a Stevo in his early day and every now he's like he was like an impractical joker. Well, he's like Banksy. Nobody knows what he looks like, but everybody's pretty sure he exists.

So he comes he comes out occasionally into giving large scale advice, but occasionally he goes down, talks Texas preacher and says, I want you to I want to thank you for believing in me. I know you're a true believer and I'm going to bring you to heaven.

But, you know, you sounds like you have too much ego. You hold on to too much ego, and I want to humiliate you in death.

This sounds like the original script of Prometheus by.

This is what he was originally going for, Prometheus, the weird one, right? I kind of like it. It's like very stupid, but I like it. I really like it as much as I like the next one.

The next alien move was really good covenant.

I like that one, too. I love that one. I know people didn't like it. That was a good one. It's also features Jesse Smollett before the allegations. It does.

Yes. He's in it. He is. He's one of the dudes in the ship.

Is he a guy who fucking. He's one of the. Did you go to the cops and say a white alien popped on his back, popped out of my back and said, this is a magazine.

Oh, this is Magar country.

Welcome to my world.

This is like a magazine system you're about to enter. Where, where, where, where, where. Yeah. He was one of the dudes piloting the ship with.

What the fuck's his name? Kenny.

Oh, right. Yeah. The comic. The hilarious guy from from the foot fist way. Right. Right. Yeah, he's on it too.

He's hilarious in it. Yeah, I like there's just this Maillet, right? Wow, it's a fun fucking movie. Look, you got jacked bam.

What does that Cinemark? Is that in the movie, is that a scene in the movie where he got to, my God, how did he audition for that part that go right through the back of his head? Yes.

Now, I want you to imagine a car coming out the other end of your bike like I don't have.

My favorite part in that movie is when the one lady locks the lady and the infected guy inside that room after the thing burst.

Oh, yeah, that was cool.

Dude, that was a heavy fuckin scene, man. That was a heavy. Yeah, that was a really good scary horror movie scene.

Yeah. That was genuinely a fucking good. And that alien that they made at the end, that one that you're showing a picture of, Jamie, that thing that was more in the beginning, that guy. No, no.

He was towards the end I think he was the the combination alien.

Well, obviously the dark one. I thought that oh that's the one that came out like later that stowed away.

Yeah. That bit the girl's shoulder off, remember. Oh yeah. I remember that.

But I thought this one was like, I can't like it would eat one to like eat them. Yeah. It was trying to eat them. Yeah. That's what it looked like. That's what it looks like when it came to oh, remember that, I'm sorry, I talked to him, I covered it. No, I'm talking about Covenant. The remember when they were downstairs in the other David's, though?

He's a black alien. Was it? I thought it was white. No, that's that's what comes out of your back, the white one.

But I thought there was a white one in that movie that it might have been one at the end.

It's kind of it looked like that it's lighter skinned. Yeah, I remember that.

Jamie, I'm not making anything of this movie. There was a scene towards the end where they realized that this artificial intelligence guy had started breeding these aliens together and combining their DNA with people with other things. And it came it came in and just put it put its arms up, the alien like he did, like a hand wave and it went like that, like the fucking came in the Jodi Arias hand waving.

It was it came running out and bitter on the shoulder like that alien looks like Joey Diaz's balls.

I don't think this is coming.

It's some it's when he was downstairs in that situation. Well, it sounds like a pink one.

It was a weird color, was like a whitish color. And it was down when he was in the the dwelling where that guy would draw and do all scientific, you know, face hunger.

Got him. Well, there was another one. There was a full grown alien down there. Anybody was like a real alien. Fans probably so mad at us right now. Yeah. This is it can feel like this is it.

Oh. I think, oh, we get someone shot. It's kind of a white thing called a neo morph, I guess. Yeah, it killed it. He's all man. Yes, hey. What is this? The music is not what was. What is that music that goes? OK, yeah, that's it. So there's a scene, but there's a scene where it gets a girl, I think I'm pretty sure. I think it was, yeah, see, so it's kind of a pale looking thing.

So is that lack of entertainment in the last 15 minutes? I forgot your finger was. I know it's romantic with the song.

Well, that was cool. Part of the movie is that he had been there for so long, he'd been experimenting with these aliens and making different kind of.

Right. Yeah. And it was also interesting to like the difference between the the new version where they had cut out creativity and the old version where it was, wait, they cut out creativity in the artificial intelligence guys.

You know, there's always like, oh, yeah, right, right, right. His approach was like, yeah, there's always a role.

He tried to kill himself or something like, I love you. That's what it looked like. Jamie, that's that's exactly what it looked like where you saw a white dad.

Finally that right there you just had it bang. So that's what it looked like. And then it came out its whole mouth opens up and a bitter shoulder like took a giant chunk out of my if I remember correctly.

I mean, I was very scared. What is all that different lighting over? Do you think? I don't know. Good question. Those are some of my favorite movies because I like it.

I just wish they he showed the fucking engineer. I don't like they space it out another. You know, extra movie, and he has really something about somebody like a space, Judy, so something like that haircut that fucking fights aliens. It's up to this last space, Judy, to fucking fucking Rolling Stones are playing in the background.

Is that what it was? And that music? Are we fucked now that we got to play in the sound? Oh, good. It's I mean, those the series of movies and some of the best horror and science fiction movies of all time.

You've got to go back to the original one. That original alien holds up.

Yes. Great holds up. That's a 1979 movie about aliens and space and fucking holds up. Yeah.

I mean, it's still the the technology looks goofy like going off in the their computers in a fucking although they don't know what they're doing. That looks worse than like a 90s tech movie like hackers or something.

Oh is this a Pentium way back to the future. Yeah, but what were they right about. Back to the future.

They were probably read about a lot of shit. Right.

Wasn't from president and back to the future, as he might imagine, was I think he was present on The Simpsons.

The Simpsons predicted it. Yes. There's a great video about how accurate The Simpsons were, about so many different things. Yeah. And that Matt Groening must be some sort of a time traveler.

I don't I think he just like said whatever the most hilarious thing he could think of was and just be true. Yes. One that's waiting 13 Simpsons predictions.

It could not come true, but still could. All right. Oh, that have not come through, but still could if I could.

Twenty twenty eight in Valka 2028 is probably 100 percent going to happen. They would if it was, said Malani, that I would go, oh, I think people step up Melania and Michelle Obama out here, the hottest first lady we've ever had.

She's for sure the hottest. Any argument will start a fight, right. There's no one who's a close second to Melania Trump. I mean, it's even fair.

It's not fair. Yeah, no, it's not fair.

But Melania and Michelle Obama together and Michelle probably was the most unite the parties. Oh, yeah. Laura Bush was a. She was not that was a pretty lady. Hillary Clinton, when she was younger, fucking Barbara Bush was like it was like a legendary joke, unforgettable. The first lady was the entire 90s.

There was like something where a guy would punch Barbara Bush in the face with a naked gun. Yeah, there were so many jokes.

You can be falling down the stairs. People loved it. It was so many jokes about Barbara Bush.

She was like she was legendarily ugly. When I was a kid, I understood she was the first lady. And also she was one of the ugliest place.

It just came through over and over again on all media.

So this all the first lady, not all of them, it's just a picture of today, mocked her on every format of whatever they did. She was declared ugly. They did. It was like. You know, Nancy Reagan was always, oh, Jackie O, though, is one of the first ones you can see abortion I thing. Oh really? Yeah.

Remember there was pictures of Jackie Bush and a bunch of money. That's how Larry Flynt got rich. Yeah, well, he came out like, fuckin really?

Why do I forget that it's spent a bunch of money on the house that you want to make they got kicked out of in Ohio.

Really? Are they going to try to make they thought it was to be like a Playboy Hustler mansion. Playboy mansion. Oh, get out of here.

Well, he did open up some casinos. He did. Nancy Reagan used to get Ronald Reagan to listen to astrology. Yeah, right. She she, like, had like a White House astrologer. They would run all the decisions by.

You believe in astrology. Do you do astrology every day? I don't. I'm doing it right now. I'm a Gemini. And we're skeptics.

Women.

Oh, first ladies. Never married to presidents. Never meet other women. Oh, the side pieces.

But they're still considered the first lady.

No, no, no. The ones who want this just a trick.

Yeah, yeah. It's a true national first ladies library. Turn that over, you son of a bitch. Well, we are the two that the sidepiece society.

It's like the sons and daughters of the daughters of the revolution.

Oh, I can't wait for a woman to become president just so we could see what we call the guy. Is that not settled unless she's a lesbian, which would be even better? I hope that we finally address the policy to run the country, whether you love pussy and you have one or you love.

That's how I would run if I was a lesbian. Like, hey, we all know it's important. You have to be willing to epos.

We all love pussy. Wait, is this what am I looking for? We we just checked the weed. I thought I thought he was basing it on the screen lation for your coronavirus test and then the weed together.

So I tell you something, hunch an AIDS test was not as stressful. Really? Yeah, I didn't feel as. It's. It it's probably it's just because it was a long car ride, so I'm just like, oh, shit, what's probably the most stress inducing thing? Any of us have had to go through, except for the people that have been to war or first responders or people that have expanded strangely call now because it's so far beyond my control of us.

So beyond.

Yeah, I got you had Barry Crimmins on here one time. Sure. Yeah. So we were on tour together. We almost died in this car accident. Really? Yeah. The car we were in, it was black ice. And who was driving still? I won't say anything.

But anyway, he fucking said so he's driving. I'm in the passenger seat. Barry's behind the driver and we are going about 65 on the highway, which wouldn't be too bad, except it's black ice because it's winter and he's trying to pass this tractor trailer.

So as we go in, the car starts wobbling and. Oh, my God.

So I remember I said, what the fuck? Three times I how much time there was. I didn't like dock or anything because I saw the trailer we just started. My sights are going in under the fucking. Oh my God. So that's why I just want go.

Well I guess I'm dead like and then at the very last second it spun like it was wobbling and then the back where no one was sitting that got grabbed and the window blew in and then we spun into the middle of the highway.

It was crazy, too, but afterwards, I remember I mean, Barry, I felt like, hi, I remember you telling me the story, the driver was weeping by car. I felt high. And the reason was it was it was so out of my control. I mean, it was so like because I was definitely sure my head was gonna come off. I just went like that and it felt so out of my hands.

I was like, oh, like it felt like I was going to die all kinds of times. But usually it was like, you know, I make some kind of drugs or I did something where, you know, it made sense.

So some I think I was trained for, you know, end of the world kind of feelings since birth from being an adult. And I think I just have them where it relaxes me more than what would they tell you, the end of the world.

You know, whatever the everybody says. Like, what do you mean? Like like when when you say it was an end of the world cult, like what? What did they do?

They call and say, yeah, that God's revelation is going to happen and Armageddon. God's going to destroy the wicked system of things. It doesn't appeal to it.

Oh, for sure. Then set up a reasonable survival course.

Well, Jehovah's Witnesses, some people live on Earth in a Garden of Eden restored to paradise. Have you ever seen the literature? They show that I believe it's paintings of Hawaii. No. You ever go to Hawaii? It's beautiful.

It looks like gorgeous. That's where their heaven is. Maybe that's the moon. That's what the guy painting it in.

The things I saw when I finally went to Hawaii, I was like, oh, this is the that's what I thought of paradise my entire life of, you know, the Garden of Eden and what is Hawaii looks like that.

Imagine if Hawaii was all that was left. It isn't an active volcano, there's enough people. But imagine if that's it. Well, there'd be a lot of meth.

I'll tell you how many people like what Hawaii is supposedly.

I think the the spot in the world that's the furthest away from other spots, like it is completely isolated in the middle of the ocean.

It's a whole lot. It's like the Earth's vagina, I think. Lush. It's gorgeous, right?

It's amazing. But I think it's also five hours by plane to anywhere. I think the closest you can get is like Guam or places like that, but it's really, I said, shocked me. I got there at night when I went to Hawaii. I mean, what I heard is like the good one to go to Hawaii is awesome. So I've never been. But it was gorgeous when I got there at night.

And then I woke up and it looked like fucking Jurassic Park or like it was crazy.

That's where they filmed Jurassic Park. It's not like a cliff. And then there's like it was like every kind of bio in one spot.

It's magic, at least from the photos.

Well, it's been five days. Five days. Perfect. Yeah, I like your crazy. After that, it would become a beautiful hell that that your only joy in life besides methylamphetamine would be showing you people that come to the island.

The movie where they are in Hawaii in the show lost.

They're desperately trying to get out there, one on an island like Hawaii. But they filmed that, I thought, in Hawaii. Oh, yeah, for sure they did, right? Yeah.

And you're ready to go after unless like you're done. It was like a place you go after you die.

It felt like, well, some people go to like Maui and they lived there.

I've seen Dog the Bounty Hunter. I know. Oh, I know. Steven Tyler lives there.

A bunch of you. Pierce Brosnan lived up the block from where I stayed. Did he really? Yeah, I think it's the climate kind of destroys property. So it's very expensive. The upkeep of, like, owning a home there, too.

I was just reading about Malibu, how much beach Malibu is losing, and they're trying to do all these different things to try to save the beach.

The come over from another beach to my guys as they don't acknowledge there's a problem there, literally. Well, I do with my hair from any time they were literally calling it a beach Botox.

Really? Yes. Why? Because it doesn't last. Because it's like a little quick fix.

So they pour all this sand into this area and then the ocean swats it away.

I think they have a way to make artificial sand dunes that work.

They have a way to do some walls. But the thing about it is it effects other beaches.

So like if you put up a beach wall over here, it's going to affect the beach of the people down there. And so they're like, hey, fuck you, you're going to ruin our beach because you want more beach, right? Because there's only a certain amount of water. The problem is the water's rising, the water's starting to take off, but then everybody should have extra water.

Good. Everyone. Well, they're saying by twenty one hundred it's going to move all the way through.

There's going to be, there's going to be none of those houses. This was what the story was saying about twenty twenty one hundred. There'll be no more beach. There'll be no no. Those houses will exist. The beach will be in a totally different spot. The water will get so high it just starts taking over everything. No shit.

Yeah. Man, sounds like I'm telling you China felt like going to the movie Blade Runner. I bet it did.

I wouldn't go. Now it seems the tensions are high now. Yeah, well, I was there before the 2016 election, just before it. And they were into Trump. Oh really? Yeah. Because he's like a business, that whole thing of your name on everything. Like Chinese people love that.

Like they they get him right. I mean, like, I don't know now how it is, but they were all about him because he's business. He's a businessman. He was successful businessman. That's how they fucking.

Well, he definitely it's not commies. I'm saying he definitely rubbed them the wrong way with this, right?

No, they don't even have a dude. It's the country of China goes, hey, that's racist. They're purely playing on American like dippie kind of shit. Like they don't have any feelings, like, do you see what they're doing?

Black people, they're they're kicking them out now. They they put it on them, you know, instead of the Batsuit soup or whatever. But he said they're like, oh, it's because it spreads because of black people.

That's what they're trying to say, that it's because of black people, because they also said it was because of Americans that, yeah, they're like fucking Romulans, do whatever whatever it takes to make a narrative the government controls, like here, it's a bunch of corporations pushing what they want. They're the fucking guy, the head guy. The papers push his Winnie the Pooh.

And I think they just passed a law saying that the Chinese guys can't go online and play video games with people in other countries.

Yeah, well, Russia has some laws like that, too. You couldn't get certain American foods because of the fucking you know, after they went to the Crimea, there was like a, oh, anti-American sentiment.

But the government was like, yeah, America's right. They really I watched that interview did with what's his name, Snowden. Yeah. It was interesting, but I thought I thought it really stuck out about it, how it blows up because Putin could be like failing if not for the same way Trump wins. Right. It's not for the constant like this guy's the devil in the boogeyman and it gives them status. Yes. You know, smoking commercials where they go quit smoking and they say they don't work because all it does is put the word smoking in your head.

Right. That's what they've been doing for fucking five. Don't Donald Trump. All you hear is Trump.

Well, that was Trump's play when running up to the election. Say more outrageous shit they would. We do have the system up, yeah, but they used that to show how Trump is doing that on purpose. I think that's something he's done for many years.

But I think with them, like they didn't even know what was going on until they were checkmated, like because I'm fucking greedy. They were making money off it. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's a great thing. People want to see the dumb shit that he says they want to get outraged. They tune into also.

I mean, maybe next time will crack down on comedy. People want to hear someone not observe you're fucking stupid like somebody. They want someone to ace Ventura Ventura put their hand in your food, play in your monarchal falls out.

So they used to be like my job. But now you this is like my now my job is being an ally or some shit. Not that. And Trump Trump gets to do everybody's job of just saying whatever crazy shit he he gets to be Tracy Morgan now and Tracy Morgan has to watch it. That's that's the system that we have.

That's a good way of putting it. Nobody tells Tracy Morgan, stop saying crazy shit. He's the one guy who can't be stopped for not doing. By the way, why should he say crazy shit? You can say the most reasonable shit in the world and somebody will the show. Were you with Bernie where they're like he better. How was he supposed to do like like throw away? You're not even direct endorsement.

I said is I'll probably vote for him. Yeah. Like he was supposed to like like denounce you. I swear to God.

I read that I have a huge bit about it now. I almost don't want to go into it because oh I'm hoping that comedy will return. I'll be able to. He's better than two minutes. You got to guard your precious bits. Oh, yes. covid-19 the real banger's.

We can really go back to comedy like what's a comedy club going to be like when it returns? And when I asked you, when do you think like I was going to ask you, that's that's when it becomes a problem, right? Because none of us fucking have an idea.

Yeah, we're all I got a podcast. So I guess that me I basically I got a podcast I'm gonna start forming. Tiggers is my what I have going on. Oh my pussy handled by plenty torgerson so I don't got to worry about getting pussy. I'll get one.

That's the move. Right. If you have diabetes. That guy. The fucking tiger guy. Yeah. He does yoga. He does yoga and tigers. That guy that guy fucks.

Oh the guru guy. Yeah. What does he call himself. Bhagavan Jega. Any white guy call themselves Boggo Věra. Fuck yeah. Oh God that's hilarious. What does it mean.

When does it fall for that. That blows my fucking mind.

It's like where you fall for Mansons, same way you become a social justice warrior. Same shit people want to belong.

Your mom kicked you out for having a pot pie. That's how that there was an FBI raid at your house because you bought drugs in the parking lot of the fast food restaurant you worked at.

Oh, yeah, that's fine. And Bhagavan, look at the girl Buggie. I know. Good bro regulations to you.

He looks good in a tie. Nice bow tie. But that show, the beautiful thing about that show is that those are real people and this is real life and it's like oh that's there too.

I kind of get why the Chinese are grinding up tigers now for Dick. I mean obviously it works. I don't even know why I was criticizing. We could keep the tiger alive and get the same pussy, that's what. Yeah, I don't do do they have tiger bones or something like that? Is that one of their ailment?

And one of these tires that Chairman Mao has, like old sayings of like his physician wrote a book after he died.

Nobody say it was like filthy, like he had like syphilis. He wouldn't brush his teeth. And the doctor like, listen, you got to brush your teeth. And he would go, I swear, I got to go. Does the tiger brush his teeth?

How what do you even have to say? It's like saying this is New Orleans. This is Las Vegas. Yeah.

This is like this traditional Chinese medicine tiger bones believed to help cure conditions like rheumatism and arthritis, along with erectile dysfunction. Rhino horn.

Oh, my God. You put a rhino horn unless you want to talk about it on your fucking phone.

You're ready to go, baby. Yeah, back when they all had syphilis and they just died of it and it rotted their skin out their teeth. It's so fucking what you see the Johnny Depp movie where he gets the nose full of syphilis. Oh, what was that movie? The Libertine.

No. Yeah, no, I didn't see that one.

I don't I kind of remember it, but I know at the end he's all fucking syphilitic and it looks like he looks like a dead. Men tell no tales. It's Pirates of the Caribbean coast. Yeah. Oh God.

But that was a common thing because you just get a look at his eyeball to is going to deadeye. He's got makeup on the wig. That's how people lived. Imagine what they stunk like back then.

I know. That's the thing. I have rodding syphilitic. With a wig on sweating under the wig, makeup kicks skin and, oh, imagine no soap, a pair of boots from and you got open source probably all over the place because of the syphilis.

If you lost your nose, it's not all your losing.

You've got holes all over your fucking body is I write you get like new nose holes besides just nose holes.

Dude, go to syphilis wounds like syphilis, autopsy your fucking head falls more holes.

The fuckers that syphilis talk. No, no, no. Not that. Not like full full holes. No eye holes in your skin.

Like where you could see your skull I know is making me feel gross and I wanted to change like. Yes. Is it really like that. Yeah. Do you know that back to the whole powdered wig thing came from.

No. Yeah.

It came from people that had syphilis particularly to I believe there was French gentleman who are royalty that were young and they contracted syphilis and their hair fell out and they started wearing wigs. Look at that guy's face. Holy shit.

That's not one. That's what else your face. Syphilis, whose pussy know he. Oh, my God. He looks like a little kid too. What is his lips are gone. His nose. How would that be?

It just it just rots your skin out, leaves holes in your head. Oh my God. Do. Yeah.

Horrendous. Horrendous. A powdered wigs are going to fix that. Who knows what happen? Look, you get holes in your skin and shit. Look at that guy's, you know, put away. Look at that shit. Look, I burned through his fucking head into his brain.

So, anyway, a nice, comfortable wig.

On top of that, I must feel fucking amazing.

These wealthy guys were like the shit. What does it say syphilis was? What is it? I believe syphilis, too, by the way, syphilis or gonorrhea that came from the new world did it. You don't have like the flu that killed all the fucking well they brought back. Really? Yeah. Either gonorrhea or syphilis. So it came from Native American Montezuma's revenge.

Oh, wow. Is that true? Yeah, it's the I mean, I assume that's what killed Al Capone, too, right. Didn't it?

They say that, but there's a new movie coming out with Bain in it. What's his name? Oh, Ed Hardy. And he plays a Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy.

So have you seen the Ed Hardy? Ed Hardy. I love Tom Hardy. How dare you?

Yeah. Tom Hardy is going to play a syphilitic and this movie seems to be about that. He was faking it. Oh, I don't know.

Who fucking knows when someone's dead for 50 years, you can make up shit about him. Yes. It's like who start making up what I sounded like. Yeah. I mean, I could believe he probably had civil cause he had syphilis probably and everything.

And I don't think he's get enough meth like at least like the JFK and Hitler were getting their meth taken and. Yeah.

Cocaine injections and testosterone shots. Yeah.

What is this, the trailer brand new deal, Brandon.

The Al Capone based on true events. But you could just say that based on true events, you could kind of fucking do whatever you want.

Yeah. True. Swannee, what do you just mean? Events. Yeah, just something. That's what events or the things that happened. There was a guy lived in the house and everything else was made up.

Yeah, Al Capone was a guy.

So the big wig thing came from these guys who are rich guys who wore these powdered wigs. That's what a big wig. Yeah. And then other people wanted to copy them. And so it became fashion. A lot of them had syphilis. And the more expensive you wig would be, the bigger it would be.

So that's why the big wigs.

No, because they didn't have like a lot of like a lot of hair in it. You got to really distract from the rest of the part on apart from legitimate ideas.

And then they were still fucking hoping their dick went right up until.

I think a lot of times the dick would write off would be like, oh, people just turned into cheese gradually back then.

Yeah, they just had holes in their face. That guy has a hole in his face. Did his look.

He's the painter. Made him flattering. Right. The guy. That's the worst fucking part. Yeah. Look at that hole in his head that is underselling.

Make the hole idealize the hole in my face. Right. That's not a mole, right. No, huge.

Pull it up. Pull it, make it larger.

So this guy is a syphilitic hole. Is that a word. Yeah. Syphilitic hole in his face. And other than that, looks great with rosy lips. Lucy's got some lipstick on.

Nice outfit. That's our foundation, and if you were a royalty back then, you probably fucked all the peasants, right?

They put you a cousin and then whoever attends to your cousin in the castle, what you would breed with the cousin.

But you probably fuck a bunch of people on the sneak tip, too, right? Yeah, probably. Yeah. You're a royal and you got a hole in your face. And you know how much time. Right. And how much time do you think you get left when you can see your teeth, honestly?

Well, that's what Chairman Mao did. He fucking stepped up his stepped up his hog. I told him he was sterile and Chairman Mao took it to mean erectile dysfunction, but he just meant no. I mean, you can't cure. Oh, I'm sterile. Am I Ilesha?

And he just spread a whole bunch of guys and the girls were proud of it. They would say, I caught the fucking syphilis from Chairman Mao. Yeah.

Because that's a fucking cult and a half. Yeah. I think we should add that to your mom's house shirt.

When I got syphilis from Chairman Mao, have a whole would like half her face hanging out. Yeah. God, I mean, it's crazy. The details.

Do you imagine that they were proud if that is that's real. Like I probably do.

Lip what didn't the chick from Smallville get a brand of some guy from my US right. Multilevel. Not even a cult like a multilevel marketing seminar.

She's like, oh yeah, no brand my ass.

All right. Right, it was like that vitamin company did that without any tires that completely tiger free. How did that guy do that?

Women to be his tigers, they would go out and get other women and make them feel comfortable. What do you think? But what was the acid involved? Was there any kind of. No, just group manipulation.

That's it. Yeah. Acid.

That's why it's so stupid, those experiments. Because, like, I feel like I like something I told you I like nothing. That's just like a seasoning on top of something that's already there. Right. That's not there's not a drug that puts a thing there that that wasn't there.

It's it let something out that was in there, you know.

So you're right. You're right about about acid. Religion gets to who you are. Like if you were some you devoted. It's something that it gets to who you are. I'm sure. I'm sure people can't leave because they're like that would be like I wouldn't exist anymore because this is what I am.

I'm sure that's true without any acid and without drugs. But I do think that they showed that you can do things to people if you get them daily acid and manipulate them.

I think it was a pretty good disorientating I'm sure you can disorient people and fucking.

Well, they even thought there's they're pretty sure I don't think they for people to do things, I get people to commit murder, get people to do things that would never do those things.

I mean. Well, I'm sure that it doesn't help. I just don't like Ted Kaczynski. Like I can see that looks like something getting out of hand, like. Right. Or an experiment created a thing we didn't anticipate. Not that that was the end goal. Right.

Right, right. I agree with you. Yeah, I think what happened was he just made sense, but it made sense in a way that people were like, yeah, but you don't blow up the guy.

So that's the issue, which is I don't get it just like, you know, hey, I don't get why. OK, great. The trains run on time.

But why would you have to kill six million Jews? Like, how how does one correlate to the next. Right. You know, like like that's why I said things that came from the future because. So you mean like that's exactly what's going on right now.

And he knew ahead of time you got a brilliant guy and then you dose him up with acid at Harvard. Yeah, right. So he probably thinks, hey, I made it to Harvard.

He's still you still smart, but it's all like faulty, which was a brilliant mind, that movie.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Russell Crowe, remember, was it that brilliant for him to figure out to go hit on the ugly check. So the hot chick flick, he won a fucking Nobel Prize for that.

I don't think that was the point. Hit on the seven over the time was his big number when he went crazy and the movie.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I think that if you just gave him acid, he probably gone crazy too.

I think there's a lot I say that as it does, that if you have it, it can definitely get to a yeah.

You can shake that shit loose. Yeah.

Smoking pot is what they got from the Beach Boys that happened. He because he smoked so much. Which one?

The one that hung out with the Mansons. Because one of the one of my boys, Brian Wilson, he hung out with the manses. He's in the book a lot. He's a lot in that book.

But he had like a guru who was like his own personal like Nexium guy for a while. And he said he smoked pot and then come out of his house.

Wow. I'm not surprised. Yeah, and he blamed marijuana. But, yeah, marijuana is not like a panacea of medicine for all all your problems.

Well, not only that, marijuana can fuck you up if you're not ready for it.

It can, especially now. I don't know. I like to find good meds again. Yeah, meds.

You don't want to get too deep sometimes.

Like I think in this podcast, there's many times where I don't know what we're talking about, you know, because I smoked a fucking blunt by the way it was to get it that tobacco in the leaf. Of course you want it.

Yes.

It's just like when I hit this point that delicious tobacco sweet, sweet nicotine soothing me in celebrating no covid-19. Yeah. How how worried about you are you how worried about all this are you? Is it something you get anxiety over?

You really just I mean, I love those road dates to pay my rent, so that's worrying. Yeah, but I'm not worried like the end of the world. I mean, I just don't even have that.

I wonder what's going to happen in terms of, like, the restructuring of society.

When things bounce back, it's going to be like China do just be just like China.

A bunch of people look like Naruto. He's got a mask on like everything's a ninja. That's why I saw a bunch of people in masks.

It looked like Blade Runner, kind of like it's just going to point out that it's not going to be good for us. Well, I mean, hopefully it helps with this whole covid virus. I hope it does help, I hope there's something better even I hope there's some some sort of medication comes out of this.

What we know at a certain point, it'll be like a Tamiflu if it doesn't deliver on the amount of deaths that it's promised in people. That's what people like. All right. Come on.

You know, I think you're right. Yeah, I just wonder I wonder how long that's going to take, like would seeing how Vegas wants to reopen, like and then Anderson, can I talk to see their ads or they're like, hey, listen, Vegas, don't even worry about Vegas right now.

You just quarantine.

Just Vegas is still here. Yeah, there's still advertising. Like, don't forget about Vegas.

I saw an ad like that for a car. They just showed an empty road. Don't even worry about driving. Stay home, Dodge.

I forget what it was. I despise ad people like whoever the Don Draper is are the same guy that made that Gillette ad knows. It gives an Australian like, oh really? These are a whole new crop of like young ish, you know, kind of like.

Feminist drivel, but it's like in ads, it's like, you know, book ads, yeah, but that's how, you know, work is going because once it's commodified, like, hey kids, you work right where a corporation like the corporations had, it's been dead for a fucking right.

It's corporate created punk rock. Yes.

Horrid is that makes it like when it was some granola kid spouting not it was more hilarious. Yeah. I really like everything you hear about colleges like those kids, but they all a lot of them came out in the real world.

And what's interesting what's interesting to me about the thing almost as much as the kids himself, is the intelligent adults who should know better.

Yeah, well, that's what those kids to push the radical ideas because they thought of those kids is almost like the soldiers in the forest far left. Yeah. Throw them onto the beach and they don't understand that they're the first ones to go.

They think the people that think like that, they have no idea they're more despised than anybody on the right. They hate a fucking Jon Stewart era liberal more than any. I mean, they're calling him boomers. Those are all Gen Xers. They're not boomers. But that's how the disdain.

Yeah. And the ones that are really forcing compliance, they want to reshape the world. They want to reshape the way people behave.

I know people personally that I like good friends, that I like their feeling is like I just want it to be like Biden. So I like how I like because it's just then they're going to calm down like, no, they're not going to calm down because they got a little taste of power.

Yeah, they're going to you don't want to want full socialism.

People are going to it's not like people. It's kind of funny because a lot of them don't allow me just like fucking silly upper upper middle class kind of twits that are pretending that they're fucking so, but they don't. The first thing about who's that guy that they got the apocalypse on fucking YouTube from Vox. Remember that? Yes. Yeah. Like that guy. He's a rich kid. It comes out. He's a rich kid. Yeah. So that's who does they're not really socialist.

They like the feeling. They like the Chicago kind of t feeling they get. Yes. And then they also like the good life. Yes.

That's why it's all silly kind of people. The people I know that spout that shit. Most of them have money. I've never I can't think of anybody not do they not have real problems.

They think everyone's a bigot.

I mean, imagine caring about fucking you see Joaquin Phoenix talking about Dary like.

Just imagine bringing up milk or like charging on the stairs. That's what I really knew. Bernie was unfit to be president when they took his mike tonight to elections.

The Black Lives Matter people to first. Those girls took his life, then two white girls. You start you had two black girls do it. Guess what? Now white girls are going to do it.

Your president has to hold this. Yeah. You can't take what?

Oh, was it? Maybe it's really important to stop milk, bro.

How much how shit is his security. You think I mean, holy, how bad are they? How bad is the security female, you know, like a slick move, I have a female defence force to fucking crack, I mean that to talk about milk to run on like Bernie, stop the dairy. He's from fucking Vermont. He's not going to stop the dairy. Are you fucking high goaland of cheese hippies?

That's the dairy is going to be fine. Listen up in Vermont, man. You need that cheese just to stay alive in the winter.

I just imagine giving a shit about milk like that. And imagine thinking that you need to interrupt the president, a guy who you probably want to be president. You had to interrupt his campaign speech to get your.

I feel like you didn't get enough vitamin D milk as a kid to help you be balanced. Yeah, you get to eat me topless.

By the way, don't do your message topless because I don't care what the message. I'm just looking at your dad's now for sure.

It's not helping your. Yeah, that if that's your argument about dairy, you might really just want everybody to see your tits. Yeah, that's the older protester kept her shirt on, right?

Yeah, she probably even though the one was doing overdo it. That's great.

She was probably like in the moment, like I just was thinking last night maybe she was like, oh my tits out to like how Ari Shapiro would do it if he was always have a reason to take your shirt off.

Yes, she she feared it. She should be.

It's already seven o'clock. Oh, really? Yeah, we flew by. Well, every time we did get really high, that was tremendous. A blunt dude, I know there's a speed we'd shout out to.

Yeah, I hope they make a comeback. Man, I miss that. That's why I was doing my podcast.

Yeah. Well, you know, we'll be hopefully be back and moving order soon. When I don't know.

But hopefully everybody out there. Thank you for listening.

Yeah. Thanks for watching. Hope everybody's good. Can I say my. Yeah. Oh yeah. And tell people you're your Twitter and all that jazz and.

Yeah, I'm on Instagram Khurmatu comedy and my podcast can't get right on gas digital and I'm doing these things with called Dudnik. If you can go on call Donegan's Instagram. We're doing we're trying to make a sketch show out of it, but he's going to he has a mailing list where you can get the info.

When we set up, we get it kind of on his Instagram, the mailing list or his website. It's on his website. Is that Kyle Dunnigan? Dot Dotcom? Hold on.

I'll tell you. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. What's a link to my what? He didn't say his website's called Onegin, OK? He doesn't say just a link to my Web site. You go to the website if you know you don't Google him.

But he really when Bill Maher didn't know who he was, that really set off a chain reaction.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That bit's hilarious videos. Hilarious.

All right. That's it. All right. Bye, everybody. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you, friends, for coming to the show.

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