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My guest today is a good friend of mine.

I've been friends with this dude for a long time. He's one of the best standup comics working in the country. He won Last Comic Standing. I can't say enough good things about him. He is the shit. Give it up for my brother. The great and powerful Alonzo Bodden girlfriend podcast.

The Joe Rogan Experience trained by Joe Rogan podcast by Night All Day. Hello, Joe, I am negative. I know you're positive, I'm positive person, I'm a positive person. Life is good, but the test is negative, which that's always what you want to hear after a medical test. Yeah, basically, the test is next. I'm trying to think, is there anyone where you want to hear the results were positive? I think you always want to hear.

Yeah, this one came up negative. Yeah.

How come no diseases ever make us better? It's not a disease. It's like a Marvel comic book. We catch it. Yeah.

How come I can't get hit with gamma radiation. Right. Like what happened to the Hulk and Spider-Man.

Every time I get mad at somebody, just hulk out. But, you know, they never show like everyday things with the Hulk. Like suppose he's in a car right now. Your car, the Hulk just grew tore up your car and State Farm. Yeah. You're not going to believe what just happened to my car. Yeah.

The concept of the Hulk that's on all the time annoys the shit out of me. You know that he's the Hulk now constantly 24 hours a day. Yeah. And then he's smart and Hulk. Come on. He's so he's Bruce Banner all the time. He's Bruce Banner, but he's also the Hulk. I am. I'm Frank. We were talking about reading, which is what I'm doing now. And I got this book. It's like ten years of the Hulk.

It's like a thousand pages of Hulk comics. He's a ten year run. And the story is it's great. It's the great Hulk who was smart, but not like the movie one. But he was smarter than the regular one. And he really he would only change at night. Like a vampire. Like a werewolf. Yeah. So it's like, hey, this is just how much free time I have. Joe, I hate the New Hulk.

They probably missed. Mark Ruffalo is acting.

He's such a good actor and they didn't have enough room for him to just I mean, there's so many people in that movie, right? You got Captain America, you got all these fucking people. You got Iron Man. They probably like Mark Ruffalo.

Just not talking enough. Yes. Most of the time we need him as the Hulk. So I got an idea, right? Yes. Mark Ruffalo, The Hulk all the time. The Hulk has glasses now. He has fucking glasses, his glasses. It's so ridiculous. No, the whole idea, you fucks is supposed to be that he's a really smart guy and then he's basically a monster, monster, monster.

But its strength, like unlimited power, who talks like Hulk Smash. Right. He's not smart. Right.

Like in the Thor movie where he's working as a fighter and he has like a room and he's he's taking baths and stuff like that. Was that movie Ragnarok and he didn't see that one. You didn't see that one. Yeah.

Where the Hulk is a fighter. He's like a gladiator, but he's treated like a hero. And he has all the gladiator stuff, you know, and it's like and Hulk wouldn't be doing that, like the Hulk would just be smashing and destroying.

Yeah, I need to watch that one. But oh, that's see, I didn't see this movie. Damn, that looks dope. Oh it's fun.

Yeah, that's one. No, this is one of the funny ones man. You've got to see that one.

So the Hulk goes to battle. Spoiler alert with Thor. Yeah. He looks like a gladiator in Thor, ends up on the island and Thor ends up in the ring with him.

But it's dumb Hulk. Right. Dumb Hoke's good. He's not, he's not fully done. He's not he's not scientist, Hulk, but he's smart enough to hold conversations.

What a mismatch that would be if it was real. Are you fucking kidding me?

Thor, just relax. I don't. How much do you how much Marvel were you into growing up? I did. I didn't like DC that much, but I was a giant Marvel guy because I was a big Marvel guy.

And I tell people one of the big things and they brought it up in the First Avenger movie. And this was a storyline I remember this The Hulk could never fight Thor because they were both so strong they would destroy the planet because like the Hulk, the Hulk strength was unlimited because the matter he got, the stronger he got. Right. And Thor is a God, which is something they never play in the movies, but in the comic books. Every now and then Thor would remind them like I'm a God.

Yeah, I could destroy the whole planet. Like that's what my dad is, the guy that's the problem.

If he's a God, then what the fuck is Captain Marvel? Because that chick trumps everything. Yeah. She comes down and everybody's going to sit the fuck down. Yeah. And I'm here. She's the superhero mom. Captain Marvel is the number one superhero is the most powerful. All you want to save the world. You call her in that last one. Like when the Hulk when I mean when Thor went to where he got the new axe made.

Yes. Yes. Like he was like controlling a son. Right. Wouldn't they like our son was good. You know, it's really and this is what I love and this is what what why women laugh at us because we're having this discussion. Oh, yeah. For sure.

But it's also what makes what is the the the really pretty girl's name. She's got Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. What is her character. Black Widow. But she's just kicks ass righteously up. It's like any power. Valentina Shevchenko hanging out with Iron Man, right? That's what it's like. She's Valentina Shevchenko, Yevsey strong champion. That's what it's like.

And the other thing is she shoot. Like she has a gun, but no one day fight can be killed with bullets. I'm sorry, she's a flyweight champion so strongly. Yeah, no one can be killed with bullets. And how about the dude, Jeremy Renner's character, right? Hoka he's got a bow and arrow. Yeah, that is ridiculous.

But he has a lot of special arrows. Even have a gun. Yeah. So fight off alien like you're fighting aliens when you got a bow and arrow it's like man you've skipped generations of weapons technology.

Yeah. And he seems to never run an arrow. So it's a maze that's that, that's the superpower. You have to balance the imbalance.

The superpower is so crazy. You can have a guy with a bow and arrow or the fucking Hulk. Right.

Hawkeye has no superhuman powers, with the exception of the period when using prim particles to become Goliath.

OK, whatever dorks he is at the very peak of human conditioning sure is. He's an exceptional fencer, acrobat and a grandmaster marksman, having been trained from childhood in the circus by the criminals trick shot and. Oh, boy. Well, I'm a big Jeremy Renner fan. I like that guy a lot. However, we have to be realistic about superpowers. You got the Hulk on one hand, you got Captain Marvel in another hand and a dude who's like an acrobat, Hawkeye good at shooting shit.

I think Hawkeye's limit is fighting crime, right? Like criminals Hawkeye could take down. But when super powers and aliens and stuff come in, that's when you got to you got to make some phone calls.

Well, I just can't buy aliens coming at you and you're shooting them with the bow and arrow.

I just know they came here from another planet you shot with a bow and arrow. Come on. Come on. You know.

Yeah, well, well, well, well. Captain America, like, he's just really strong. Yeah, but superhuman is superhuman strength. Part of an experiment. Right.

But he's like bulletproof, isn't he. No, no, no. He feels really quick or something. Now he can be hurt. But doesn't he heal real quick. No. What's his name. Wolverine. Wolverine heals.

Right? Instantly. I thought Captain America had one of them. Jamie's too. Not like I don't think like Wolverine.

He probably heals quicker or could take more pain or something than most Captain America, OK, has agility, agility, strength, speed, endurance and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete athlete who ever competed ELO? Well, the super soldier formula that is metabolizes enhance all of his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency. He oh he ain't shit.

No Iron Man can fuck him like a pig. Right, but generally functions.

But that's it right. You can't fuck with Iron Man with that bullshit ass set of skills. Yeah.

He just a really strong dude but in the movie he's not in that movie. He's way stronger than any person who's ever lived a strong leader. Like the military strategy guy I guess is the most sculpted figure that face Iron Man tells you who he is. Yeah, yeah. Billionaire playboy, philanthropist.

But all of eat shit. I want the Hulk. I come out. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to go Frank. I'm going to go Hulk or Thor. Those would be my two in a fight.

Hmm. Interesting. Exciting. Captain Marvel comes down, fucks them all up. She's bad ass. They gave her too many powers. She almost has too many power. Everything except a good movie.

That's true. They keep fucking her in the movie department. Yeah, they die. When the movie was her movie was so sad like it filled the story. So you know who she was. But it wasn't that great, you know, and it didn't match up with someone who has the powers that she has.

Like she look, if you're playing a game and the game is good guys versus the bad guys on the good guys side, you want to have like you'd be like real pumped. If one person had way more power than anybody who's ever lived, that's her. Right.

Or you would just you'd wait to play that card. Yeah. You know, you'd like let people know, like, I know. Let me have to pull Marvel like don't have to wake her up. You're right. Because if she comes down here in Fox everybody's fucked. But here's the thing. Like they they can't figure out a way to make a good movie with that.

I don't know. I mean, again, the movie was it was all right. But it wasn't it wasn't great. It didn't show she would have done bushes.

That's what she'd have to have. Boy, like, remember when Wonder Woman Wonder Woman have a boyfriend? Yeah. People liked it better than regular soldier. Got to fuck Wonder Woman. Right.

Remember? And you know what, no one would believe you. Yeah, you'd have to shut up about that. But yeah, I'm sure. And I'm fucking wonder what you keep your mouth shut. Yeah, I'm looking up.

Captain Marvel Powers. And a little question popped up. Who is the strongest Marvel hero?

Yeah. Do you know the strongest? I would be Captain Marvel or thought that it would be Thor, Hulk, it says also the destroyer, which I've never heard of, but it says Hercules and I didn't know Hercules Hercules was in that.

I was in like a few comic books. But he's not Hercules, Hercules and shit.

Hercules ain't considered part of the Marvel Universe right now. Oh, Stan Lee didn't create Hercules.

Exactly. Yeah. You're not allowed to do that.

Like, by the way, why would you have Hercules in a comic book? That's what I do. I do vaguely remember Hercules being in some Marvel comics. But but now he I don't think he counts. They didn't create him. He got lucky with Thor. Leave it at that. Yeah. Stole one. God, you can't steal any other mythical character.

Right. And and it was cool with Thor because in the comic books he was human, too, right. He had like a human form. And then he would turn into Thor. Did he. Yeah. In the comic books he had a human form. I don't remember that.

But but, you know, you would think that someone else could make a Thor movie, like why can't they make a Thor movie like an origin movie about Thor the God.

Can you do that? They might say no one's ever done that isn't done of having done it yet, but who knows?

They had some movies where people pretend they're in the clouds and they pretend they're they pretend they're that, you know, they're gods.

There's been some God movies, right?

Wasn't a Brad Pitt one. Wasn't was there?

Wasn't that Brad Pitt when they were the gods like Achilles or something like that? Wasn't there something I'm imagining this, I believe there was a movie where a bunch of people, Troy, Troy, yet they had those what would they call Titans or something?

There was like some they did a couple of movies where these guys were they were gods. I think Liam Neeson was in it and they were like playing with humans, humans for like their entertainment. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clash of the Titans. Titans. Yeah.

Maybe it was that Clash of the Titans was they did a couple of those, right. Yeah.

The one that's from, you know, like way, way back in the day is hilarious to watch now or anything with special effects from back in the day.

Except, you know. You know what still holds up though. Godzilla, it does look kind of fun. Old Godzilla movies like Godzilla was like he's still bad ass. You know, there was just something about Godzilla that it was that. Yeah, he holds up his old movies are good and the new Godzilla is good.

Well, they figured out how to make those Godzilla movies, like when we were doing Stop Motion Animation, they were like, hmm, well, you just have a dude in a Godzilla suit and then they just and then make everything else smaller.

Yeah. They just had like a little New York or a little Tokyo.

And this dude in a Godzilla suit running around is actually for the time like really good special effects.

Oh yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Godzilla movies were great like that and he fought and then they, they would just come up with all these different monsters. That's like. Yes. Mothra of giant moths and shit Damara remember gamma camera.

That was the one that spun around. I was like like a turtle spun around. Yeah. A spinning turtle that shot rays out of his legs. Yeah. Those were so you know what those were, those were good drugs. Joe, you can't get those drugs now. You just sit around and say, man, what if we had a spinning turtle?

Those things would be on like Saturday afternoon.

Right. You have to watch them once every week. They would what was it was like destroy all monsters. It was some kind of libitum. Yeah. Oh, this is this the old one now.

Seventy three it said. Yeah. Wow. That looks great. Oh yeah.

Look at those special effects. Actually pretty fucking good special effects especially.

I mean if you want to see a movie today that was like that you'd be mad. You can't believe how fake they made it look. But back then this was awesome.

Look at that. One of these buildings. Why are you laughing, Jamie?

So I think they're miniatures and silly like that, but at systemsand on this face and it just looks it looks awesome.

Looks like looking at the first Star Wars now, like when you look at the first Star Wars now, you're like, oh, come on. But back then it was like, man, this is bad. I know it's terrible.

Yeah. The first Star Wars is terrible, like the special effects at least. Right. It just looks so fake, like even the cantina scene where they went in there and all the monsters could tell that the guy's wearing a mask just like his face is frozen open.

Yeah, man, they did what they could back then.

Yeah, they I mean, it's technology, right? Yeah. That like the other day they were doing all the Jurassic Park movies and we were talking about when the first Jurassic Park, like when the first dinosaur came out that was bad ass like it was like wow, that looks like a dinosaur, you know. And they had like expressions. Yeah. And all of that you know that that was. Yeah.

The first Jurassic Park when those kids were in that truck. Yeah. And the the T rex comes over the top. Holy shit. Was that awesome. Just one of the greatest scenes in any movie I've ever seen.

And he looks in the truck and he blinks. Yes. You know. Yeah. Yeah.

Well when when they realize that the goat is missing, they had that goat tied up and they realized the goat is missing. And then they hear that.

You hear that.

Although and, you know, I hate to be this guy, but but we do it like you ever watch movies. And just like you pull out the holes in the logic. Yes. What's the holes in the logic?

The two kids would not be with the lawyer. Yeah, the little boy loved dinosaurs and he knew who the dinosaur scientist was, he'd been in that van. True, he would no way the two kids would have been with the lawyer. At least one of them would have been with a scientist.

Yeah, for sure. Were their parents in that movie? No. They were with their grandfather and was their grandfather the main scientist?

You know, their grandfather was the old guy who owned the part. Right. The old guy who looked like Colonel Sanders. Right. Right. Yeah.

So it's like if your grandfather created this park and he hired this scientist, you're like, I'm hanging out with the side. Even though he didn't like kids, it'd be like my grandfather said that I can ride with you.

And Jeff Goldblum was the sexy scientist. Yeah, Goldbloom was great. You know, he he was just that great character that.

Yeah. You bought it. Yeah. Especially the first one. Yeah. I love that.

Drive faster. Must drive faster. Yeah. The first one when. Yeah. He had some great points you know about. Why did you do this. It's just like you bought him.

Right. You bought his science. His science made sense. Well he you could tell he's fucking smart ass shit. Yeah. You know, so like when he's playing a guy who's smart you like.

All right I it although that is one situation when a T-Rex is chasing you, that is one of those situations where I don't have to be faster than a T-Rex. I just got to be faster than you. That's not true because it is so quick. Yeah. There's the goat leg falls down. Yeah.

They're only the dinosaurs only have a total of fourteen minutes of screen time in this perfect.

Well that's like an American Werewolf in London. One of the reasons why that movie is so good is you barely see the werewolf when you do see it. It's amazing, but you barely see software flashes. You're terrified of it.

I had a Rick Baker in here.

He's the guy who did America where he actually did Star Wars two. And he's saying that that Catina seen that cantina scene. They did they they threw that together on a shoestring budget. He just put a bunch of mass he had laying around his studio and put them on people and dressed people up and shit.

But they when he did an American Werewolf in London, like they this was like, look what a crazy operation where they had hands, they had fake hands stretched out.

They had like they would put like stop motion of like skin where hairs come into the and the face would extend. Yeah. That was that scene where his like his jaw. Yeah. Would Yeah. I guess they had to do that.

I forget how he said they did the hair. I forget how he said they did the hair that they do it in reverse, they pull it through or something.

Yeah. It's only like that one quick scene where you see it. Right. I think that was the one scene you said it.

I forget he explained how they did the hair with the hair was coming out of skin and his back and shit. I think it took a long time though.

Yeah. But you only see the whole transition is pretty quick and then you only see the werewolf for like split seconds.

You don't see it very often.

That's great because, you know, when they're doing it, they're like, we don't know how, like in our mind we see it, but we don't know how this is going to work. And then you have to like you were talking about the artist who did it, he has to make that happen. So the director is like, this is what I want. And then you have to figure out how to make that happen. Yeah. So that when he sees it on film, he's like, yeah, but when you if you nail it then it's amazing.

Yeah. But if you do it raw then it's like I look at this cheesy or you got to do it over again.

But there's something about things you don't only see in the dark there. It makes it better than like seeing it like CGI.

Obviously CGI really bright like that doesn't scare you like Alien the movie Alien.

You scared the fuck out of you. You barely saw it. You like most of the imagination.

Yeah. And you're the and that's the thing with the script and everything else, the anticipation of it or the awareness of it. But where is it. Yeah. Versus a slasher movie where it's just I'm just coming through and chopping up people and or versus like the new Godzilla which although it might be fun, it's like it's so clearly CGI, you don't have like a visceral reaction.

Like if you see a werewolf in an alleyway, if a guy drops his briefcase and looks up and he sees a werewolf in the alleyway for like a split seconds like Jesus.

And then it's over, like there's a scene in the American Werewolf in London where you literally see the werewolf for fractions of a second. It's one of the best scenes in the movie where there's a guy in the subway, this businessman, and he sees it. And you look at it, you're looking at it like the werewolf. Yeah.

He's like, oh, my God. And he starts running and you see this guy running away and he's freaking the fuck out and he's almost having a heart attack. And he gets on the escalator and he drops his briefcase and he looks down. And just for a split second, you see the werewolf's body move into frame and then it shuts off. And that's the whole scene. It's one of the best scenes, Gary. It's one of the best scenes in the movie.

It's everything's dark and mysterious. When you get real clear and it's obviously CGI, it doesn't scare you, right? We're also so jaded. Yeah. You know, we're so jaded now that it's like after this. How many movies are there going to be about us quarantined? Some happened in the quarantine station that you know.

And it's yeah, it's it takes more to scare people, though. You got to be creative. It's a kind of it's a transitionary point for us.

And it's kind of interesting that the thing that caught on the quickest when it all went down was Tiger King.

Oh, yeah. That everybody was like, this is the perfect show for a fucked up, quarantined world. I have two theories about Tiger King. It's like either you watch Tiger King and you feel better about yourself. You're just like, man, this guy has fucked up. I'm not, you know, thank God or you're watching Tiger King and you're like, Yeah, that's about where we at. Well, that's about where we are.

Kind of don't totally hate him. Well, you don't totally hate Joe Exotic.

You get it. I get it. Yeah. You know, you I mean, what he did, like he was he was P.T. Barnum. Yes. He was like he could have been P.T. Barnum if he if he could have grown his idea. But but that that idea of just I'm just going to keep bullshitting people and just reinventing myself and showing them this and and and people went for it.

Yeah. You know, just wants attention so bad. Yeah. That put that whole thing.

Yeah. Definitely a phenomenon. I would, I would love to see like what people because it was worldwide what people in other countries. I would like to get their opinion of us of Tiger because they've never seen, you know, a lot of countries, they've never seen anything like that. You know what I mean. Like in the United States, like especially if you've traveled the Midwest or if you've been to one of those you ever go to, like the low budget circuses, you know, the not the not the big ones, but the ones that like the carnival.

Carnival. Yeah, yeah.

Like we've seen that. But people who have no idea of. Yeah. I wonder what their opinion would be.

There was one that was near my house and I took a picture of one of the one of the roller coaster rides they had set up. And I put it on my Instagram page because it was this janky ass fucked up roller coaster that was on stacks of two by fours. Right stacks.

And I was like, why in who? The guy. The guy operating it like he built it. Well, I'm here with my friends and everybody.

Look at that. Look at that shit. Yeah. Those stacks. That's to level it off. Right. So that thing spins around in a circle while it's on these movable stacks of wood.

Like that, forbid a fucking earthquake hits or something, that thing's going to go flip and sideways and flying off, I mean, the fact that let them do that in a park, that is crazy. Look at that.

And you just take your kid and you just throw them on there. Yeah, go ahead, kid. You'll be fine. What could go wrong? Nothing. Yeah. I mean, nothing's going wrong right now.

And look at that one. That one's over. They did it. They did the right. Come on, get on. Yeah.

And then you well, you know, it's like people were going there to the Tiger King thing and like, yeah, I want my picture taken with a tiger.

You know, it's also interesting you how quickly people got tired of Tiger King right now, even though we're talking about it, people are like still.

Yeah.

Know in and out like that. But that's that's about how something goes. Right. And the thing about it is, when they were doing it, even when Netflix threw it out there, because I saw it like the first weekend, because in my news feed it came up and I was like, what the hell is this? And I start five minutes into it. I'm like, I got to see this. Right. So I just watched the whole thing.

But now they had no idea it was going to be that big a hit. And now they're like, OK, what next? You know, I mean, like, it's one of those things you couldn't predict. Tiger King would be a hit.

Oh, yeah. No way. So so I think it'd be weird, the marketing or whatever people are like, what else what can you do though. Those are the ones you can't create that.

No, they caught lightning in a bottle was the perfect time because it was they just happened to be there with the bottle right when the pandemic hit. And it was like, what? And then people just send text their friends.

You got to fucking watch this. Yeah.

Because everybody's at home looking for everybody's at home. And it was like it wasn't a series, it wasn't part of something else. It was like it stood alone as absolute insanity and fascinating. Yeah.

You know, and it wasn't like a big marketing push. No. Didn't did that because again, once you once you watched it, I mean, you know, the guy with no legs was the most reasonable guy on the show by far.

He made the most sense. He seemed like a regular guy.

Yeah. That poor guy. Yeah. Caught up in the middle of all that shit.

Right. Whereas in any other circumstance you'd be like, how did you lose your legs on that show? Didn't even come up like, no, we're good, you're fine.

When the one dude is sitting there, the guy that wants to be the campaign manager, he's sitting there talking to Exadaktilos boyfriend when he saw your boyfriend blow his brains out. Right. Like, what in the fuck is this?

You see the guy react like, oh, my God.

Like in the moment that be like you and me talking and one of us is playing with a gun and just shooting shoves loads of stuff and blows your brain to it.

God damn. Yeah. God damn people are crazy. But but again, what else are you going to do.

So. So Tiger King killed some time and then the aftermath of Tiger King killed some more time, but then we still got like six more weeks. What do we do now?

I think we're supposed to be May 15th, right? May 15th, Schenectady.

Yeah, I think that's the latest projected date.

But the governor just stopped people from going to parks and beaches. Well, that was a new thing today.

Yeah, I think you know what it is. This is my theory. Like, we can't have nice things, you know, whenever they give us something nice, we don't not, you know, like a little kid fucking nice and they break. So it's like, OK, we're going to let you go to the beach. It's like, no, you're not supposed to be playing volleyball. And like like this, you're supposed to keep moving. Right.

You're supposed to, like, walk or ride a bike or go surf for this or but you weren't supposed to just mingle, gather in groups. And of course, we're gathering groups with party and they're like, all right, no, you can't you know, they have specific rules, like you weren't allowed to stay put, like you couldn't lean on.

Things can sit down, right. Because you go walk around.

I was riding. I rode. I rode my motorcycle along PCH and you would see people they parked their car along PCH. Right. And they'd sit on the car and kind of like, look at the beach and stuff like that. And so I guess you each one of them had a car's distance between them because you're sitting on your car, the next person sitting on their car. But then I passed this Neptune's net, which is like a big motorcycle out, and there were maybe twenty bikes in a row parked and the guys were all just kind of hanging out.

And it was like, no man like that. You can't do that, you know? I mean, like, like a motorcycle is the ultimate social distancing vehicle, right? You're you're by yourself, you wearing a jacket, gloves, a helmet. You're not breathing on. But but but when you stop, you can't just all hang out like normal, you know?

And that that was the part that that I think that that's where they're like, no, we're not going to do it because I think, you know, this Georgia and Florida, whatever, it's like they're like the experiment and they're like, all right, yeah, let's let them get out and then let's wait two weeks and see what happens.

Yeah, exactly. You know, that's exactly what it's like. It's it's a weird disease, man, you know, I was just having a conversation about it earlier today. It's like it seems like it's more than one different thing. It seems like for some people it's nothing. They shake it off. Some people, even a lot of people, more than half apparently asymptomatic. Yeah. They don't feel it at all.

And that's the scariest part. Right, because you're asymptomatic and you're carrying it. And then for some people, it's a death sentence. And then and I was most recently, I was reading about strokes. Yes. And people are having strokes like it's causing blood clots and. Yeah.

And this was something that they just realized like, whoa, you know, one doctor was apparently operating on this one guy who was a fairly young guy who had a stroke. And he said, you could see on the machine, I read that. Yeah. That new new clots were forming in real time, forming Lousie going crazy.

Yeah, yeah. It's fucking creepy disease. And you know what. And we were talking about this earlier. That's the doctor I want to listen to. Yeah. You know, I mean like like yeah. Give me a guy who's so smart that he's working on blood clots and watching him perform and explaining because the part of the problem, the advice we get, there's so many it's such a wide range. And like so if you're talking to me, I want to see a doctor in front of your name.

And I want to know you do so like like, oh, I work on the brains of people who have strokes, like. Yeah. Tell me more. You don't say, doctor, if you're a chiropractor either. You've got to stop doing that. Stop your chiropractor. That's great. People are going to Garba. That's great. You're not a doctor. You got to stop saying your doctor.

I have a friend. He's an emergency room doctor. And like, I'll listen to him like, yes, yeah, yeah. OK, you're a neurologist. You tell me what's going on. Because because he knows because he's getting all kind of information and he's on literally on the front line. Yes, Anderson, he was funny. He said, man, they better not send me anyone who shot up Bletch.

He was like, don't even waste my time.

Someone must have just funny the way he said because because he really is that guy. He's like the I'll save lives like he's a doctor. He cares, but he's like, man, you better just don't even waste my time. When you heard about that, you had to think this has got to be like a fucking movie.

This has got to this is almost like a movie.

It's if it if it wasn't real, it would be hilarious, you know. Right. And then the other thing is that the fact that, like, Lysol had to put out a thing like not for internal use, like the idea that that they know there are people so dumb that they like, we better tell them not to do this.

There's got to be a few that thought about it. Ask me if you had thought about it. There was the thing that I tweeted.

I pulled it down when someone temple one of my guests told me it was fake. They were saying that they got way more calls because of poisoning from Lysol and disinfectants after Trump said that. But apparently the real truth is there's way more people using that stuff around the house because they're scared and they're cleaning everything up. But they've been coming in for a long time. It's not like it happened right after Trump said that it was actually happening right after the lockdown.

Yeah. What is the exposure?

It wasn't more people doing it, but they were calling to see, like, hey, what would happen is, you know, they were caught. But but this one is weird. And I was just reading about this.

There has been an increase in kids drinking hand sanitizer and they told the hand sanitizer people stop making it smell good because kids, you know, it's like this sweet smelling.

And my only question is, where the hell are the kids getting it? Because I can't find any. I can't. Where are you getting this hand sanitizer? You're drinking. But they said all kidding aside, they said because it's alcohol, it's like poisoning them.

Someone was saying that if you get someone saying they went to a supermarket, they got hand sanitizer and smelled like tequila.

Yeah, it has a sweet smell to it. But if you have, like, buckets of that stuff like that, it's probably mostly just alcohol, right?

Yeah, it's 70 percent alcohol.

One of my sponsors is making Hants and Buffalo Trace whiskey. They're they're they're donating cases, cases of hand sanitizer. Yeah.

To they can respond which to make it. Yeah. Really easy. It's just it's just alcohol. It tastes like shit. Right.

But but they know process but kids are drinking it.

Not just watch your kids don't drink that shit.

What the fuck is wrong with our kids. They're eating tide pods, not a drinking hand sanitizer. Come on man. We grew up while we were growing up. There's definitely kids we went to school with that have tripods existed to date? And that's just kids. Kids do dumb shit.

Yeah. There you go. That's what you dumb shit.

Yeah, that's part of being kids don't know any better, but now it's like they do dumb shit, but it becomes a viral challenge. You know that that's a different like when we did it, like there was one neighborhood kid. You know, well, let's face it, Joe, you had a television show based on that one neighborhood. You see those neighborhood kids every show based on the neighborhood kid who would feed him this. What the hell?

Yeah, I have a Ph.D. in those people.

I understand those folks. Yeah.

When we were growing up, there was always a kid who would eat worms or I read a story about a kid who ate a slug on a dare in I think it was Australia and you want to be paralyzed. He got some sort of a viral infection because of the snail that paralyzed him. Then a couple of years later, he died.

So if you can find that, damn, that's crazy. Like but kids need to know this. You can't just go eat a fucking slug, right? Like they're real bad, right? You can't. Yeah. You don't eat something.

Some wild ass bug, some snail or something.

Even bring up the specific story of something called rat lungworm disease. No, but you bring up the specific story because it's pretty crazy. A kid on a dare eat a slug. A man it doesn't say kid. Oh, this is a kid on a dare says they're not paralyzed.

This is in New York, though, so it's probably more than one that's affecting Hawaiians with brain parasites.

Oh, jeez. Poop eating me, man. Poop eating slugs are giving you brain parasites. Jesus fucking Christ.

There it is. Australian man who dared to swallow a slug has died after their eight year illness.

I think it was a man when he died, but I think he was a kid when he pulled it off on a dare in 2010. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I ate a slug. Yeah, I think he was a kid.

That looks like a kid. He was in a coma for 420 days, he emerged from the ordeal with significant brain injuries, but continued to live for another eight years. Holy fuck, he consumed a garden creature on a dare in 2010.

My God, contracted encephalitis, rat lungworm, an infection usually found in rodents that can also be transmitted to snails and slugs if they eat rat feces containing the parasites larva.

So this is.

Again, this is how we get these crazy diseases, which we have no immune system defense, like because you're not supposed to eat and slugs that eat rat feces, you know, that's nature trying to say, like, what is wrong with this, right?

Cousine slugs don't. Yeah, yeah. There's things that gross you out for a reason.

They seem like bug roaches or rats.

They carry, they carry diseases. You see me like I was instinctive. I don't know if this is true. I was in Jamaica. We were on some tours and the guy said that if you like, got lost or whatever you are. And he said humans can eat what goats eat. He said, watch the goats. And if a goat eats it, a human can be like if you know you're in the jungle and it's just, can I eat that plant?

And I was like, all right, that's sounds I don't know if that's true, but it sounds like good advice.

Sounds great. But I think goats can eat anything, don't eat like cans. They show, but they don't they don't actually eat them. I think that's I think that's a myth. But if it's true that humans can eat, if that's true, that'll be amazing. Just bring goats with you.

Whatever they write, you're good. Yeah. Which which means get a goat now because I don't know which way society's going. Oh yeah. You need a goat now because you want a reason to get a goat just in case. Yeah. It goes wrong. You're like what are you doing. I'm following my goat.

You don't want a fully grown adult goat either. You want a baby. Go baby girl. A kid. Well, yeah, they actually are kids literally.

Yeah. They get a bad rap for eating tin cans. They're actually chewing on the metal to get the label and the glue on the label. They're not actually getting the metal stuff right.

Yeah. OK, so they're getting high on glue, they're into glue and paper so we can take a little paper that is OK. Can we eat what goateed eat.

When I was going to say when humans eat what you like, if you get a baby goat, he'll know you're cool. You bring in some you know, you treat him well from the time they're a baby, like a dog. Like if you have a dog and you've had him since he's a puppy, he knows you're cool.

Like all his life you've been cool. But that's also like that Tiger King thing, right? Like you raised a tiger from when it's a baby. Yeah. But then one day it just realizes like I'm a tiger. You look delicious.

Like, you know, I mean, but just never you. Lonzo you're a huge dude.

You fuck a goat up. I would think so.

You would fucking let me grab a hold of those horns. Like what you're going back. Yeah. I think I could take you're going to snap that.

Things that go to Steven Seagal movie, one of those big not one big mountain goats. It rams you with the horns though. Those can get like 300 pound. Yeah. You don't want one of them. Maybe want a domestic goat.

What's the biggest one if I'm exaggerating, what's the biggest mountain goat. What's a like a mountain goat or.

Yeah, well those white haired ones are enormous white laskin shit that can walk on like cliffs like they walk. Yeah yeah yeah. Like how do you live. And they live their whole life. Well that's why. Because their whole life doing it. How big. How big are those. Uh, it's because the scoring side for some reason. Oh, that must mean it's a hunting page. Did you ask how much they weigh? I just just ask how much how much of the biggest how much does a full grown mountain goat weigh?

Adult females? About 180 males average to 80. Yes, I'm up to 300 or just three. Eighty five.

Three eighty five. And they walking like a ballerina on the side of a cliff. Yeah. Just dangling a little bit.

Half inch rammed by a three hundred and eighty five pound goat.

That's going to be like getting hit by a car.

Like just look at the size of that fucker. God damn. They're huge. They look so cool.

It looks like a horse fucked a goat, doesn't it. Look look at its face.

It doesn't look a goat now you know what that's like. That's like getting hit by an NFL lineman, right?

Yeah, like getting blindsided, maybe even by NFL lame even. They might even even more power than that because they're on four legs and they're animals and they're doing this all day long.

You know, there's a video of RAM slamming heads with a cow. The ram starts walking towards these cows and this female cow gets pissed off and comes maybe a bull. I don't know if it's a bull or a female cow, but this cow comes forward. Watch this. Watch this. Oh, it is a bull. So watch this bull. Seems like it. Right. Watch. It's boom.

You're out, bitch.

Wow. So the goat or the the the ram headbutts that cow. The cow did that one more time. Is it a bull. It seems like a bull doesn't it, Jamie? I think it had horns, let's say horns, yeah, it's good. Yeah, OK, so it is a bull. So that's why he's doing it, too. Yeah. Look at his balls, too. And you see his nuts has huge balls. How can I not see those.

But he gets Quaye the fuck out. He's probably dead.

Do you think it's dead because of the skull. One more time. One more time. Well you know if he lived. Watch this one more time.

Just look at the Rams, the Rams a little bit. I'm not scared of you. Oh, yeah. So if he lived like that bull gets no respect for the rest of his life, like Massa, your bitch ass get knocked out by a ram around probably one eighth your size.

You ain't scary.

Nobody, you know, they just know that to do that move, I bet a cow a better bulls never experience something getting in between its horns and hitting it flatmate's never.

Or it's probably never experienced something stronger than it. Yeah. You know that seems like a scene in a movie I did. Doesn't seem right that a stick can just stop it.

I mean, this just one just stopping.

Well, that's a little one. A little that is. And it's also probably a certain way it's getting hit.

Well, I think it hits objects. So that's what it is. It's dumb. So as he puts a stick in front of it, head the stick, which means that like it's like if you're punching something right. And there's a guy behind this thing, but you're trying to punch this thing here and this thing moves. If you get to the guy behind it, you won't have any power.

The power will be all in this one spot and then it misses you just kind of like and also the animal doesn't know like this is something unusual to him, right, by someone holding a stick out.

Right. So it just hits the stick with its head. That actually makes sense. That's a good move. Maybe like like a bull with a cape. Right. They make the cape look way bigger than the person. Sitting Bull just goes towards the massive object, right?

Yeah. I was in South Africa and, you know, we did this safari. It wasn't like the real safari because we didn't have time, but they were like, yeah, by far the most dangerous animals, the hippo. Oh, yeah. That's that. That was the one that because when we went by the water, you saw the backs of the hippos and they were like, yeah, you don't want them to come out of there. Yeah.

Fuck that. Hippos are terrifying.

Yeah. And they're mean. They're huge. They're mean.

It's like basically it's like a tank and they're vegetarians which is weird, they're vegetarian. But if they feel a threat. Yeah.

They grab you, they drag, they drown you, they pull you underwater because they can hold their breath for like five or six minutes or something like that and they just hold you till you're dead.

But oh Jesus Christ. But they say but they're like very territorial, very me. And they're fast. I think they they run like twenty miles an hour or something like that. Like, yeah. It's basically an armored living vehicle.

I mean a living thing that this crazy video of a hippo chasing these people on a boat. You seeing that.

Yeah. Or did you ever see, like, the lion that jumped on the hippo and then the hippo just stood there, then the lion jumped off. He was basically like, I can't fuck with this thing.

Well, yeah, there's one video where the lions trying to eat the hippo and it's biting into the hippos back in the hippos, just like, yes, it was like so leave me alone.

So I keep biting. I think it was taking a little pieces out of its back and I just couldn't figure out how to get rid of the lion.

They're so big.

Yeah, but I guess, like, if you want to survive in Africa around crocodiles, you have to be so big. The crocodiles like I'm not even trying. Right. You know.

Right. Yeah. There's so many things that can kill you that this is something that's like now you know what kills elephants sometimes in Africa?

Ants. Yeah. They climb up into their ear. Right. They just keep eating. They just climb all the way up to lamebrain.

Yeah. Oh, that's a hell of a way to go. That's got to be the worst. And there's nothing you can do about it.

What the fuck is these answers streaming up your body and your brain? That's a slow, horrible death. Nature, cruel bitch. Yeah, but that's nature, you know, nature is not to be fucked with.

There's a great video that I saw yesterday of a cat trying to get a squirrel, the squirrel and the squirrels on the tree and the cats on the tree and the cats going right in, the squirrels going to the left and the cats going left and squirrels going right. The squirrels successfully evading the cat for the most part and then fucks up Ziggs when he should have survived.

Well, cats, I think of domestic animals like they they have the most instincts of when they were wild, like a cat can hunt. You know, you have to hunt a bird. Oh, yeah. It's like if a bird's dumb enough to land on the ground, cat's got them. Cats got them.

Cats got they moved so fast too. And they know you're going to fly up so they jump. Yeah. And then they swat you as you're trying to fly away.

Yeah. Cats kind of don't even bother eating them now. They just kill it just to stay in practice.

Quality of cat food have a bowl of cat food. These dumb motherfuckers just leave it out for me like cats. You treat a cat at a certain time.

Cats have trained humans perfectly. Cats are like, listen, I could, but I have a human. Yeah, it will feed me and I can totally ignore it. Like like dogs earn their food, you know. I mean dogs like I protect the house or I fetch or I play with the kids. It is the cats like no I will totally ignore it human and they will feed me. It's just such a weird.

And what's weird is when people go deep like I get when people have attack dogs, it makes sense. But I don't get the like Servalan and shit right. People have those weird like half.

Yeah. Like, like that. You don't want a cat that could kill you. Yeah.

Because it's sort of domesticated, half domesticated those Savol you heard of those things when they're trying to feed him like chicken bones.

Yeah. There are these crazy noises like fuck man that's in your house.

What you sleep. Do you have a dog. Yes.

Yeah, but it's a golden retriever. Oh, it's the sweetest dog of all time.

They're so nice. Everybody that comes over the house. Like if you came over my house you like.

Like like you long lost friends, everybody's a long lost friend, that has been something since since I've been just locked down, that thought crossed my mind like I should get a dog. Dogs are great. But when you go on the road as much as you do, once I go back to work, I won't be able to take care of it. So but but dogs are really cool. And I have a neighbor who has a dog. It's called a dog.

So you can maybe go Argentino. Yeah. Who.

Yeah, but it's a fantastic dog. And she said she's a dog trainer. She said, yeah, some people have used these for fighting in this and that. She said, but if you get she's like, I know a breeder, I'll get you a good one. You can. And it's really a great dog and it's tempting. But I know, like, once I go back on the road, then it becomes the the it's either at the kennel all the time or I got to get the dogs that are so it's not going to work.

But dogs are just they're just cool.

I love dogs. Yeah. It would be sad for the dog. Right. It's not fair to the dog to just leave it.

Just got it. Now she gets him little dog. She puts it and takes him, takes him everywhere. She's figured it out.

We were at the Improv once and she's about to go out and she just handed me her dog. Yes. This is Blanche because I'm like, OK, I guess I hope just know take care of it. Guy.

That was an adorable dog. Yeah. How many dogs. Very.

Have you met tofu. No, I haven't met the one. Oh. Super adorable dog. Jeremy Hotz has won two.

He's got a Shaq. Shaq is his long haired Chihuahua that he brings. Yeah.

If you're a road person, a Chihuahua is really like that kind of size dog.

That's your move. Yeah. You just take them with you. Yeah, but oh man.

Doesn't it make you not want to do the road again. Like wouldn't you. I'm worried about man. I'm worried about being home. I haven't been, I haven't gone this long without getting on a plane in twenty years. Yeah. And the idea like I'm afraid of. Of not wanting to go back to work, the other thing is, you know, I've done a couple of live streams at the Laugh Factory, right? I'm doing next week.

I'm doing a digital comedy club thing. Right. I'm like, what if I get used to working without an audience?

But what if that VR thing happens?

What if the VR thing happens and they can make it set up so that, like, you could be on stage, you put the VR on and the people put their VR on and they're sitting in an audience.

I did one of those. It it was weird for now. Yeah. The thing about it is what you really lose. There is an energy that comes from laughter in the room, like you can do it. I think of it is kind of like this or like doing radio where people can be listening and they might be laughing like like when you do morning radio. Yes. They're laughing in their car. But you don't really know that, right?

Yeah. The people in the studio have to kind of laugh along with you like everybody let everybody know.

Right. So I mean, it works for now and it is kind of fun and just odd doing it, you know? So I don't mind do like I hear some comics say that they wouldn't do it or they hate it. To me, it's just like, OK, this is what we're doing now. And it's it's weird, but it's fun.

That would be the question to ask those comics. What would you do if there was no more comedy ever again live?

What if this is just the tip of the disease iceberg, right. Keeps getting worse and worse. Are you willing to accept no more comedy ever? Probably not.

No, no, I'm many would be. You'd want up doing those digital comedy clubs. Yeah. I mean, you know, I just hope it doesn't come to that. I don't think it's going to come to that. Another thing is I was talking to a Vegas guy who's a promoter and those shows and he said he thinks comedy is going to come back first because it's the easiest thing to produce. So he said, like, you could do a comedy show outdoors with people sitting six feet apart from each other and just one comic with a microphone on stage, he said, versus a band where now you got the the band members on stage and all the technical stuff.

He's like, comedy's just this is where it's easy, like we're a microphone and a speaker. That's a good point. Just so we could do it. I mean, you couldn't draw as many people, but what if you just test everybody?

Yeah, well, I think that that's going to be part of it, too, that I was reading about as Europe reopens. That's what they're doing. They're they're scanning people like, I guess testing you for fevers.

And I don't buy this thing that they want to I mean, I don't want to do the tracking thing when they talk about that. I think that's a real slippery slope. If they let you track people on their cell phones, whether they're sick or healthy, you know exactly where they go and who they're in contact with. I think that's a slippery slope, because the problem with that is once they get that kind of power to track people, they're going to get rid of it.

Then they're going to get rid of it.

They're going to find another reason to use it, the user for the flu. They use it for something else. And it's also so it's such a faulty. Thing to do, you know. You know, I mean, like it's like if you know, you're being tracked, well, I'm going to give my phone to whoever. Like what what do they always do in a movie date? They put the tracker on a car, an animal or a car or something, and then they send them the wrong place.

What now? They don't know who hit? No, I don't. Then they make it a felony to do that.

Alonzo, you can't give your phone to your friend. Yeah, you were trying to be deceptive.

Yeah, OK. I think, you know, I just think it's a fucking slippery slope, and I think it absolutely is. I don't I don't think we can I don't think you can trust them, trust any authorities or medical or whatever with that.

It's like that said, we're not going to say you can have a driver's license. Right. Well, why can't you have a license that shows you've been tested? Yeah. You don't need to set your face on it. It's a public, you know, like just like a driver's license. It's it's got a seal. You've got your picture. You've been tested, however, often, like once a year or something like that.

You have like a whole bunch next to the date, an official whole bunch, like, you know, you get a bunch of them, then you get a new card. Yeah. Why why can't we do that?

Get a new card every 90 days until they come up with a vaccine. I think science science will come up with a vaccine. You know, a combination of human immunity and science will come up with it. I mean, this is like polio, you know, was when when you were a kid and polio was a definite threat like you had to worry about, you know, and then they came up with a vaccine. Right. This is another thing.

I mean, disease. I have a friend who who works in this and she said, yeah, you know, viruses and diseases and stuff. Like, they they change. They adapt. So we have to adapt. Yeah. We we have to stay ahead of it. And this one just caught everyone off guard. There was no yeah.

They've been warning us about this kind of thing, the possibility of this kind of thing for a long time. Bill Gates did a TED talk in 2015 where he talked about it. Yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, they they showed it. I don't know. They looked at it. You know, Obama talked about this is something we got to spend money on and get ready for. And it's one of those things that people didn't want to believe it. He's a guy who's it's almost funny how smart he was. Like, he just, you know, he's like, yeah, we should prepare for infectious disease that never. It's like now like, oh, shit, we probably should have prepared for infectious diseases.

Yeah. And, you know, the United States, but this is just another example of our medical system. And we got to get it together where medicine isn't just for the rich. Yes, for sure.

Dude, I hate to say this, but I have to piss so bad. I drank way too much coffee before the show. Could we pause? Pause. I will be right back. Sorry. No worries. My apologies. No, no.

We're sorry about one of life's great failings. I fucked up. Sorry folks.

I had a big thing, a bone broth earlier and I had two double espressos. Then I had to at least two large bottles of water.

Yeah. So it was a it was a real straw. I was like, God damn. And I fucked up. I pissed before the show too. I thought I was gonna be OK.

So good. That's one of life's great feeling. Oh, it is.

When you when you got to pee and it's just right there and then you get that. Yeah exactly.

It's a simple things Joe. It is the simple things and the simple pleasures.

That's what we can enjoy out of this pandemic. Some of the simple pleasures. You know, I do appreciate I appreciate talking to people because, you know, when you're locked up in your house, most of the time you're till I'm here, I'm locked up in the house. Right. So I'm just sitting around or I'm in the yard or I'm going to go on trails my neighborhood still. But at a certain point in time, you know, you want to talk to somebody.

So I come here. I appreciate talking to people even more than before.

What what I like is the absolute silence at night.

Like, you know, it's I'll turn off everything, you know, like no TV, no music, nothing. And just it's perfectly silent. It's so odd because so few people are out. So you just you don't get the car. They're like, where I live, you get a lot of cars or anything, but you just get nothing. It's perfectly silent now. And it's a strange meditative. Situations like these are the kind of things that once we get back to what we find out, whatever the new normal is, that's going to be the kind of thing that that doesn't like.

Yeah, we don't have you realize, like, my life isn't quiet. Yeah. You know, it's a lot of noise in life. And and travel, you know, we were talking about it, I don't know what that's going to be, what what is travel going to be like?

It's going to be weird, you know, it's going to be paranoid. We're all going to be paranoid. It's going to be messed up. Yeah.

Oh, are we going to be trying to maintain distance? What are the airlines going to do?

How are they going to keep distance apart from each other and people already like oddly not connected when they travel? Right. You sit next to a person, you usually don't even talk to them. You know, you get up, everybody gets in line, don't even really know very little small talk. You we're hurting.

It's hurting. Yeah. You know, so. So now are you still going to be able to hurt people? Are people going to appreciate, you know, are we going to be nicer to each other, you know, and you would hope so. But human nature always shows like now we like when it seems whenever we were given the choice of, OK, can we be better or worse?

Why do we always go to worse?

Well, this is why in this situation, you got to be worried because people really don't have any experience with this kind of adversity.

So this is a new thing. So adversity test character. There's a lot of people that haven't had a develop character. They've been living these weak ass fucking useless, silly lives. Right. And then all of a sudden adversity comes and shines its ugly head. And these morons are all sad and dealt the weirdest hand of cards everywhere. Everybody's kind of fucked. And then when things go back to work again, when you're asked to deal with adversity and you don't have any character.

Right. Like like you're you're a guy with character, I think you'll be fine. I think you probably will be nicer after this. I know I'm going to be nice. Yeah. I think most people are going to be like I don't even mean, like, nice or mean like a little more appreciative.

I'm always nice, appreciative, appreciative and aware. Yeah. Aware of, you know, one of the problem. People are not aware of the existence of other people. Yes. Right. You know, so you have like if you if you're holding a sign, give me liberty or give me death in front of a Baskin Robbins ice cream.

You're like you're not really aware what that means, are you? Like, you're probably going to be OK. There's a Baskin Robbins behind you. You're Liberty's probably not a life and death issue right now.

You know, the where awareness thing is a real problem with people, but there's people that they're barely keeping it together with the most amazing society ever through no fault of their own.

For the most part, most people are fucked up. They grew up in a fucked up house and they're fucked up family in a fucked up neighborhood. And people did them wrong every step of the way. And now here they are all fucked up at thirty five years old. But that doesn't take away from the fact they are fucked up at thirty five years old. And if they are really overweight and they eat sugar all day and they can't keep a job and they're always making excuses and now there's a pandemic, don't expect them to rise to the occasion.

Right.

And or you know that that's one. The other ones are the we're so insulated from reality. Yeah. You know, like like I briefly lived in suburbia, right. I had a house. I was up in Valencia. That's a nice area. It's nice, but it's too nice, you know what I mean? And it was like it was this perfect suburbia. And all I could think was, man, the majority of these people, their life goes from the cubicle to the cul de sac.

Yep. That's her day. Yeah. I mean, cubicle at the office. I come home to the cul de sac and it's such a you know, I was always like, I hope there's something in your life that makes this good because this would be the most boring existence. But that is what it's almost like. That's what we aspire to like. That's what they build every time they build one of these new communities. Right now, they even the latest construction of malls.

I used to always laugh about this. So they tear down all the mom and pop stores and build a mall, which is a fake town of mom and pop stores. You know, I mean, like everything is this perfect controlled environment. And like you said, now that's all out the window. So what are you do you know and what what is going to happen to people do? Yeah, malls are well, they're already hurting the outdoor malls.

Oh. Like RCI, that kind of shit.

No, like like oh, outdoor like outside malls right now. Those might still work, but but even now they showed like still like Neiman Marcus about to go bankrupt because people like like wait a minute, you know what, I don't need clothes. Well, so people are buying shit online.

People are buying stuff online. But but a lot of stuff. If you're like a like Macy's, you don't sell anything that people need right now. No, not if people are hurting.

Right. Yeah.

So so what's the amount of people making new difficult to stay in business when you don't sell, when everything you sell is basically a luxury or a pleasure thing, you know, like like diamonds.

Right. And nobody buy a diamond.

And I haven't seen a Kay Jewelers commercial. I know, right? You don't see any of those engagement commercials now? Not right now, right?

There's nothing you know, it's so it's it is going to be interesting because those companies have to survive this or don't get us out like the Blockbuster's gone broke.

You know, things change.

Blockbuster was everywhere I was, was everywhere. We left date night, you know, now these kids with their Netflix and chill back in the day, we it we had to earn it. We had to go to the blockbuster store and usually had to go with your girlfriend. Right. You couldn't you couldn't just pick it up. No, no.

They ran out. That's right. They ran out of the movies. They never would have they would have to empty box like we wouldn't see you wouldn't see Tiger King until it was your turn right because your blockbuster would have eight Tiger Kings and they'd always be rented when you went there, you know. Yeah.

Whenever a new movie came out, they would always have a long shelf with the new movie. A lot of versions of and you had to rewind it.

That's why they were made to only go to home.

Movies came from those movies made he made a ton of money on those he made. And I'm not talking porn, I'm talking regular movies. He's just terrible movies. He said what he would do is he would get the seniors in film school. Right.

And he would give them what did he say?

He gave them something like ten thousand dollars and a camera and said, go make a movie.

And then he it was either ten grand or fifty grand or something like that, but he give them that and the camera go make a movie and they come back and he said and it always would be a slasher movie because they were the easiest to make. And he said it's amazing how many women will take their top off if you point a camera at them.

So it was all like titty slasher movies and he would sell them overseas.

You know, it was you know, it was like bikers crazy kill or something at a mall, you know, the mall, Monceau.

And it was all these. But but he made a he made a ton of money off of that. It was the straight to video movies with no budget. And the kids would make them. And to the kid, you know, if you're a senior in film school, yeah, that's a great thing.

When somebody says here's some cash and a camera, go make a movie, feels to me the same way I feel about like NCAA athletes not getting paid to play right when the schools are making billions of dollars. Let's go.

You know, not quite as bad as that, but what's going on here? How much money you make from this fucking movie, man? But it's a great thing for the kids, too. So you're a kid and you're going to film school and some guy comes and goes, not only am I going to give you the equipment, I'm going to give you fifty thousand dollars to make a fucking movie. Right. I'll make a movie, bro. You give me I'm going to make a movie.

Then he's going to sell it for a couple of hundred grand or fifty or whatever in the international video market. But but it's it's hilarious. Oh, and you talk about bad. I mean, these movies are just what that is. But that's what made it fun, is the movies were so bad, you know, that it was it was like great. Like they but we don't really have an editing budget. Right. It's terrible.

You know, no special effects. No. Yeah. Is that guy holding a microphone in this shot?

Well, you know, it's funny, though. Occasionally someone make a movie like fifteen bucks and it works like you remember Blair Witch Project. Yeah, that was a fucking legitimately scary movie, the scary movie. And then they tried to do it, big budget, and they couldn't make it work. Not de facto. It had to be that, you know, they fucked it up. The found footage like, what is this?

Let's watch it. Like those videos. There was a whole show. There wasn't a series of movie called VHS. Wasn't there a VHS, VHS, VHS? That's right. Right, right. But VHS was a movie about people finding VHS footage of people getting attacked by demons.

And there was one that the lady that they made a movie afterwards about her, I think it was called Sirene, where she was one of the characters in The Voice of VJ. Yeah, VHS. She was one of the characters not in one of the there was a girl that was really pretty but really weird.

And these guys took her back to the house and she wanted to fuck them. And she's like, I love you, I like you, I like you.

And she turns into a demon and tears everybody apart. It was really wild. Yeah, wild shit. But yeah.

But you important marketing for Blair Witch that they had a bunch of online stuff that made it seem real when it came out.

Right. There was really news and stories about people disappearing and morons just bought right into us and a couple of friends thought it was a hundred percent real.

We got in like big discussions.

Those are those people right now that are talking about five G.

Fucking five G. This is it. It is coronaviruses a hoax, five G.

And it was created. But yea though when people say that like. And now have you got this. I'm sure you've got this. People who were otherwise reasonable send you something and you're like, holy shit, do you believe this. Like now I got to rethink my relationship with you. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm like I got the one about don't take the vaccine because the vaccine is the sickness and they're they're experimenting on you and they want to you know, it's like, man, you got it. Like you believe this.

I got one from a smart dude that I know where there were this doctor was talking straight to the camera and the doctor saying, this is not a disease. This is radiation sickness.

Doctor. Yeah, the doctor. Yeah, well, POINTON wears a doctor's outfit.

I'm like this guy with schizophrenia. It's not a radiation disease. They know exactly what it is. They've got it. They know the genome. They know they know that it came from the bats. They came from the very area that the Wolong lab was studying. Okay. This is really well documented shit.

But people will absolutely ignore that. That that's what's frustrating to the scientists and the doctors. Right. When they're standing there and they're lit and they're like, we know this shit, you know, like like a friend of mine who's a doctor. He hates Web M.D.. Because patients come in and they were diagnosed. I read on on the Internet and he'll be like, yeah, because I went to school like that. He's really funny because he's like, yeah, I went to school and I've been practicing medicine for 20 years.

So I probably know more than your website.

But if you want to run those tests, some people.

But some doctors suck, though. Yeah, there are bad times that that's the thing.

But it's bad everything again, being home. I've watched some network TV and I never really watch network TV, but now I'll just be watching whatever every commercial.

Is either some drug, right, some drug for whatever condition you think you have or this or that, or it's a thank you to the people giving care during this time, it seems like that those are the only two Commerz. That's why I say, like, if you watch too much TV. Yeah, you're going to start being scared to death and believe in conspiracies because you're constantly pounded with this shit like you just pounded with the negativity, the fear to take a drug for whatever you might feel or think you feel or whatever.

And then the drugs, the side effects of the drugs. And then there's now there's a drug for the side effect of the drug that you took for something else. You know, I mean, like like you you have to take a break. You can't I don't think you can watch upper limit upward of two hours of news a day. Any more than that, even now, just give it that, like I say, that's the extreme upper limit.

I feel like I'm not watching much, but I am checking in on news stories on my phone.

Every now and again, I go to the bathroom. I read I read the news because if I read the news, I can control the amount and I can also get different sources, different like or I read a story and then Google the story and see what other stories are about that. So like like when we were talking before about the thing about people drink and Clorox and the like, I didn't really drink and Clorox. And then you Google it and you're like, oh no, thank God they're not drinking.

Clorox, like Clorox and Lysol put out a warning saying, don't do it.

Well, if they hadn't, there's probably a couple of want to try to because and plus, you know, there was a lawyer somewhere like maybe I'm ready to sue Clorox, you know, of course, of course, somebody is going to get sued.

But now it's so fucking weird time, man. It's going to be weird when everything starts back up, how people behave. I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful for the best.

But again, we're talking about there's going to be the worst of us that are not going to do well with this because they're not prepared for any kind of adversity. So when this adversity comes out where we're all supposed to group up together, some people are going to act out. That's unfortunate, but I think it's going to be less I think more people are going to rise.

They're going to rise to the occasion, hopefully, hopefully. And hopefully and this is where you honestly you need good information. Yeah. You can't you know that you can't have the crazy information and that you need good information that has to be given to everybody. Yeah. Like this this is what's real because there's always been crazy information. Right. There's always been a National Enquirer. And what was that other paper. The National Star. The Stars. That's always a daily news.

But that but they never like like now you have people reading that like, no, this is the real story. And, you know, The New York Times is fake. It's like, no, I think you got that backwards. The New York Times ain't perfect, but I think they're a little closer than the Weekly World News.

That's a real problem when it's someone like Trump, whenever he gets challenged, just cause everything.

Fake news, your fake news, your fake news, like they get some things wrong. You're right. But if you just keep calling everything fake news, you're crying wolf. Right. And the problem is then we don't know who to trust. So if someone just, you know, talking about the dangers of blindly believing the president drink bleach while blindly believing the president that The Washington Post is always wrong or that CNN is always wrong or The New York Times is full of shit.

That's not that's what it then. But then who's not? Who is not.

And yet there is you know, the news is politicized and it's left and right and this and that. But papers like The Washington Post, The New York Times, The L.A. Times, they do a pretty good job. I'm doing it for a long time. And if you if you read it, they've attacked both sides. When, you know, when when someone makes a mistake, they call them out on it and this and that. And, yeah, you got if you lose trust of that, then who do you trust now.

Now is when the crazy comes in, when you when you start bill again, when you start believing the weekly World News and doubting The New York Times, what do you trust?

Like what's your do you have a new source that you have.

I have a few that the Times and the Times is the gold. My news feed. I've got The New York Times, I get the L.A. Times, I read some of the BBC like I like the BBC because looking at the United States from the outside looking in is kind of a different point of view. You know what, whether the feeds do I get Daily Beast is is I like them. Once in a while, I get Huffington Post articles popping up and and I read some.

Some opinion pieces. You know, again, there were there are some. I read this thing recently, and it was really good, it was about the world being disappointed and sad by the United States lack of leadership through this. And the article talked about like this is the first time in the past 100 years where something happened to the world and the United States didn't take the lead. And it went back to talking about how we defeated fascism and then democracy grew and the Cold War.

And, you know, and it said that and these were scientists from France, the U.K., Germany.

Where was this article? It was in the Times. It was in The New York Times. And they talked like one of the the scientists was a climatologist from Germany that studied at Columbia. And they said, you know, some of the best and brightest minds in the world are in the United States, but no one's listening to them. And they talked about how the United States again took the lead. Whenever something would happen to do to the world, the United States would take the lead and say, hey, we got this.

This is what we're going to do. What do you think they could have done different? And it talked about it in the article. First thing was take it seriously and listen to the scientists. That was the first thing that the government could have done when a scientist spoke up and said, hey, this is real, this is not some Chinese thing or this is real, you listen to them. And the second thing is give people real information, say, hey, like you don't come out, say this is a hoax, and then say it's not a hoax.

They came out like they would because they were talking about Germany, which I didn't notice that Merkel is a physicist, the chancellor of Germany. So she right away went to science because she's a scientist, which I have no interest in. But they said but they told the German people, like, OK, this is real. There's a threat. This is you know, we don't know what to do, but we're going to do something. And I think had we done that, had the United States done that?

In January, when the latest February said this is a real threat, we have to take action and we're studying it where, you know, basically you want to hear the government say we're on it. That that, I think, would have been a big difference because then just it was like 9/11, right when 9/11 happened, the entire country came together. We dropped our differences and said, yo, they attacked the United States of America. Right.

And now the actions afterwards, later the war and all of that you may or may not have agreed with. But if you remember that for that first month, man, we were all Americans, you know what I mean? Like, we were sitting around talking and it was like, this is the United States. So remember the flags on the cars? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we came together to London, used to sell them.

He did. I believe it. I believe it. I love J. I love J j he he is he's a character but he's genuine and the biggest heart in the world.

The first TV show I ever did, I did with Jay Leno in like 1993 or some shit.

I'll tell you my favorite Jay London story from last comic in a minute. Because because, you know, we lived together in the house from a reality show. We were there for about four or five weeks. Wow.

But but had they come out and said, this is real, we don't know what it is, but scientists are working on it. And right now we need everybody to pause. That's what they need. Everybody needs to pause, you know. And then the other thing I think they needed to do from the beginning, and this goes back to World War two, there's a name for it, whatever the Defense Act is, where you call, you know, General Motors and Boeing and I don't know, 3M and whatever drug companies and say I drop what you're doing, we need you on this because the United States, like that was World War two.

Right? And they said now we're not making records, we're not making pantyhose, we're not making cars like you're going to make tanks and you're going to make bullets.

And you think that's the act he's using right now to try to force the meat companies, meatpacking companies to stay open.

Yeah, but it's it's piecemeal and it's too late, like like if you do it, I think if it was done from the beginning. Forget about the. You're a Democratic governor and you're a Republican governor and you're like, fuck all that like this is America like this in times like this, like you said, when adversity shows character, right? This is when the character or the nation and this is what this article was talking about, where the United States didn't do that, where you had the federal government fighting against governors and they're arguing over who has constitutional power and stuff like this.

So do you think that there was an adjusting period of people didn't think it was serious and then thought it was serious, like, how did you get you person? Didn't you personally go through a period where you weren't worried about it and then you became more worried about it as time went on, right? Yeah, definitely. But that's because of information, because we weren't given. But do you remember like information what the information we were getting in January?

It wasn't that bad. The World Health Organization tweeted, World Health Organization tweeted, that is according to China. There's no worry of it being carried from person to person. That was in January. So it all happened in a weird way where there was conflicting information. Right.

And people didn't. But but once people knew, that's why I said maybe by February. Right. Because in February, people knew that once once February came around, there was enough warnings that.

But try convincing everybody else or so many naysayers out there. Right.

But but and this is where. But if you have a unified voice, if you have one voice coming out saying, hey, this is what the scientists are saying, you know, because because and I tweeted this a long time ago, look, I'm going to get my information from scientists, not from politicians. You know, this is where the politicians need to step to the side on the podium, like like what do they always do in the movie when the mayor stands up here and now I'm going to give it to the chief of police who's going to tell you like, yes, you needed, you know, a president who's going to say, OK, this is a situation.

Now, here's the head of the, you know, infectious disease bureau or whatever there was supposedly did we figure out what fucking happened with that pandemic branch?

Like, remember, they said they said that he closed down the Trump closed down.

Some of the people that have been taken off the team have been spread around different jobs. They they they do respond to pandemic type things.

But but there's not one specific pandemic disbanded.

And that was when they showed the Obama speech, because that's what came after the Ebola thing, was when he said, yeah, we need he said this is like what did he say? He said it's an investment. He said it's not an expense, it's an investment or an insurance or something like that. But we need a department ready to deal with this because this is a real threat.

Well, now that we know now that there's been in our lifetime, this has never happened.

Now that it has worldwide where the whole world is locked down, everybody's got to step up in a big way with this, right?

I mean, this has to be as much of a priority as national defense or immigration or health care or anything.

And because this can put all of them to and if there's a real, like, really deadly disease. Right. This disease obviously not good. It's terrible. This is a warning.

This is a really a shot over the bow in comparison to a lot of diseases.

And I think the other thing and again, this is where, you know, when people talk about, I don't know, government power and government, this threat like this is when the government is supposed to operate. This is what the government's supposed to tell the medical world like, all right, this is what you do. Yeah, we'll pay. Don't worry. We're going to fucking pay you. But right now, if someone walks in sick, you lock them down and you don't send them away because they don't have insurance and stuff.

Because I mean, we have, you know, that spreads more. So much of that. Right. Our whole medical system based on what like it's always been frustrating to me. When you go to a doctor, their first question is, what was your insurance card, not how are you feeling about what's wrong? And it's the system. But but this was a case where they needed to say, all right, I'll put all that shit aside.

You're going to take care of patients. We're going to isolate because with the Ebola thing, remember, that's on a became like that one guy came from Africa or something and they, like, locked us up. They were like, no, you ain't going near anybody. You're going to be in a ward sealed off. Nobody's coming near you who's not wearing full protection. And they stopped.

They they I don't know if stopped is the right word. It's not as nearly as contagious. Yeah. Not as contagious.

But but there was a real word. Serious. Yeah.

And and the medical community has to like we need them now, you know what I mean. And we need them beyond. The government is the one who has to say this is what you'll do, we'll pay you for it, you know, and we'll pay later. And listen, that that's what we do. And people talk about, you know. How much is it going to cost and why? Well, right now that we got to deal with this, you know, no, nobody worried about the cost of winning World War Two.

They were like, fuck, let's win the war and then we'll figure it out. And then we turned out to make even more money afterwards. Right. And yet, as a military industrial complex, it makes money and blah, blah. Yeah. You can always find all of this negative shit. There's going to be people who rip off contracts and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's bad and it exists. But the government needed to step up.

Our government didn't step up on this. They didn't give people real information. And like you said, we got different information from different people. You didn't know if it was a real or a hoax. You didn't know what to do.

Yeah, well, there's a bunch of things going on here. But one thing, it shows the need for something like what a lot of people like Bernie Sanders are calling for was have health care for everybody.

Yes, we need to have health care. Should be a basic right, just like a fire department is just and a lot of ways I compare it to fires because, like, if your house catches on fire, no one does shit about it. Then it burns the house next door. Yeah. And that's the same with Pandemic's. If someone gets sick and we don't have a way to get them healthy, quick and have a way to make sure that they they have health care, like they don't have to worry, like you could just go somewhere and you're not going to be spreading it.

Just go somewhere and they'll treat you and then you won't have it and your mom won't have it. No one will have it like that. You won't obviously corrupt. They're not there yet. You know, you won't go bankrupt because wakes people up.

All these fucking guys who just want small government. Sometimes you need a lot of government shit like that.

This is when you need a big government with power. Yeah, this is this is what the government does example.

Because unless you are in that category that you could afford a bunker in New Zealand, those dudes, they're OK.

How many? Like there was a story about a Silicon Valley guy who had a bunker in New Zealand and he had to call the manufacturer because you forgot his combination.

So he's got to go.

If you got Sankari in New Zealand money, you're OK. If you if you've got David Geffen's two hundred million dollar yacht that's sailing, you know, you're probably all right. But but most you got to worry about pirates because of the crazy shit.

You know, if they know that you're locked in the ground in New Zealand, they just wait outside the bunker hole.

Although New Zealand, New Zealand kind of got this wrapped up, they have no deaths now. They would like no new deaths. But you're like a thousand miles from Australia. Like New Zealand is definitely like you ain't getting it.

Yeah, they're not letting anybody in. New Zealand is amazing. I've never been. But from what I've learned from people that go there all the time and my friends that actually live there, it's fucking beautiful.

That's what I hear. I have a friend who runs motorcycle tours in New Zealand. I keep saying, like, yeah, one year and we'd go, that's another thing that's going to happen. All the stuff we've been I'm going to do one day. You're going to start when when, when, when the world opens up. We're going to start doing that. Yeah, I think we're all going to start doing the oh, I was going to do this one day.

We're going to start doing well.

I hope so. I hope a lot of people get out of dead end jobs. Look, when your job dissolves and you're forced to do something else, you know, there's a lot of people that got stuck in a situation in life and they were on momentum. And now that moment is completely stopped. You get all that time to yourself, all that time to reassess, all the time.

Well, I had that thought, like, what would I do if there's no more stand up? I don't know. I don't know. Bummer. It's a bummer of a thought, but does that mean it's got to mean there's no more restaurants, too?

Yeah, I don't think it'll go away because, you know, I've had those interviews, like, what if the comics tell the truth, like we're the truth tellers. We always can still do that in a podcast. So we'll still be around. I, I say we're going to survive standups going to survive. Going to take a while. How long to be different. I have no idea. You got to guess if you had a bet. A bet.

A hundred bucks man. What, when, when is a comedy store open up again.

Summer, oh, yeah, and like half capacity, you think people wear masks? Yeah, I don't know if they wear masks, so we just have to sit a certain distance from each other. But I'm going to I think, again, I think they're experimenting now, I think these opening up, you know, places in Georgia. What do you think is going to happen with that, if you had to guess? I think it's too soon to say.

Yeah, especially the other thing was because I was reading about New Zealand and it's almost like they're doing the exact opposite. Like they said, the places with personal contact, the the hair, nails, massage, whatever, are going to be the last places to open. Hmm. And I think that's wait, that's what it should be. I mean, that that's a very close contact when someone's doing your hair or your nails.

Someone sent me some shit from Germany where they have a line on the floor like a caution line. These ladies are behind the line with like long sticks. At the end of the sticks, there's a comb. At the end of the stick, there's a hair dryer. I'm not bullshitting, probably.

And maybe that'll work. But, you know, like like in Georgia, like they're opening the tattoo, probably like I don't think that that's an essential service you need right now.

Well, I think you don't want the tattoo artist to go out of business.

The question is whether they true that. No, I get that from when do they open and who gets to decide?

Um, I think you do it well, again, they're experimenting, but I think you do it in stages. Right. So so before you open the tattoo parlor, maybe we go to restaurants and sit at every other table. And I think that's a good idea.

But I don't think it's a bad idea for the tattoo artist either, because you can decide to let someone in the business. Right, and make them wear a mask and keep them away from you.

I mean, if you can get people tested, if you can go to a tattoo artist and say, hey, here's my test, I got it yesterday, here's a results, why is that so hard? Like we have, like, some sort of a document that you can catch. Where are your papers, Alonzo? No, you're right. And this means easy papers.

This was another one of that, you know, best and brightest and come together. Right. The the companies the science companies like the government should be like, all right, drop whatever you're doing. Like, we don't need more Viagra. We need a test for for covid, you know, I mean, like develop something so we can because testing is a thing you got to test.

People are locked up and that is they're not going to stop making Viagra are fucking like wild animals right now. Nine months from now, there's going to be overpopulation bumped like the world's never seen before.

Well, we're going to go from one going to replace everyone who died a week. Like, what the fuck happened? That's going to be the big pandemic. The big pandemic is we're running out of delivery room doctors.

There's not enough there's not enough doctors to deal with all these people shitting out kids, man.

Well, good. That would be that would be a positive. That's a positive. Maybe, but. Yeah, well, yeah. And what you said is true Latinate. I'm not anti tattoo artist by any means. I got him. I get it. But I was just using that.

I guess that shouldn't be the most important thing to be open. Food stores obviously stayed open during this entire time. They're the most important thing. Gas stations, that's important. But at a certain point in time, we we have to figure out like what? What is the threshold? Should should we quarantine old people and sick people from here out? And should we let regular people go free? And should we make testing more readily available? Those are the things like make testing way more available and leave it up to people to make their own decisions at a certain point in time.

You can't just keep people locked up.

No, you can't keep blocked out because we're getting we're getting the fever here now in L.A.. Right. We were fine being locked up for those couple of weeks when it was sixty and raining. Yeah, but when it hit eighty five, when the sun is out and we don't have to go to work and you can't even go to the beach anymore, it's like, oh now is when you can't keep people locked up. And it's a late spring in a lot of the country.

But as far as the weather gets warmer and people getting on each other's nerves in the house, like that's when you got to let you know. So, yeah, testing is a big thing. And just what you said, if there's somehow you get tested and then you have proof, like, yeah, I've been tested, I'm OK, then you're like, OK, now you can function. You can you can like if you if you're running a business, if you're running the nail salon or the tattoo place or whatever, you know, like, like George Wallace tweeted this thing about bowling.

He like doing everybody share shoes at home.

So our bowling bowling alleys are essential in Georgia. Bowling alleys are on the list.

So, you know, you got to go before you get your bowling shoes. You got to show them your test card.

I got that's that's going to be it. And and it is also a function of where you are, right? Obviously, New York, where the population density is just unbelievable. It spread more. And you got to be more careful here.

Isolation, air pollution, people who smoke. There's a lot of factors, obesity, a lot of factors.

We're in our cars and. So much that we don't interact as much as, you know, New York, and then if you're in Iowa or Oklahoma, one of those places someplace where the population is more spread out than it is going to be easier because you're just naturally you don't encounter people as much.

Yeah, like if you have a small town, like there's a case going on with a small town in Northern California where they don't have any cases and they just want to open up and like, can't we just keep going to the town? Can't we have restaurants if no one's sick? Like like as long as new people don't come into this town, this town's clean.

Yeah, but then how do you stop that? How do you know how do you if you have a restaurant, how do you stop the people from San Francisco dirty outside from driving up to your restaurant, dirty outsiders. There you go.

You can't because as soon as people find out that all that that county's opened up and they've got restaurants back there, well, like the beaches right to L.A., which is are closed.

But Orange County and Ventura beaches are open.

Now, the governor's closed because when they were open, L.A. people just went to those.

I was so torn on that on one thing like, yeah, what if those people do get people sick? But the other part is, man, if you're stuck in a fucking apartment, like the only happiness that you've gotten out of all this is when you got to go to the beach. Yeah. Now that's gone, right? Yeah.

It's a tough line. You've got to let people out. And when people go out, they got to behave. Right. So. Well, what's the number?

President Alonzo, what should we do? Everyone, we keep the lockdown until May 15th and then May 15th, we have to restore essential business, May 15th, we reassess, we assess where are we at are there's still an increased number of of people getting infected. Has it stabilized?

Right. And what does it look like in Georgia? And what is it like in Texas, long as we got them?

What is Florida like? What they do? You can't count Florida.

You can't you can't count.

You just I got friends. I love people in Florida, but sorry, Florida.

We're just going to have to it's just we can't count you case you're a different than you guys are. That's not America.

That's as Florida as this weird third world country. It's just no, it's an alternate reality.

That's what alternate reality is, an alternate route. Even when you're in Florida.

This to Florida is right because it's coastal Florida. It's Florida they tell us about, which is Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa. Then is that Pensacola then? Is that middle of Florida?

Yeah. Don't talk swamp swamplands. Well, they made that Leonard Skinner music.

Well, that order from the governor I saw going around last night, it was an order that was sent as it was going around as a memo that was sent to the sheriff's office. As I'm reading right now, it's not an official order.

So why did all this talk today? It's a recommended site. Yeah.

These sites, we're saying the governor said he's closing down all the beaches. So what is it? Pretty much pull the story up to?

Previous reports say they were conversations that they were having. Maybe he panicked, right? Well, I want to get rehired. Previous reports for Newsom's orders indicated he planned to close all the state's beaches, which drew widespread criticism from some state officials. When asked what changed his mind on closing state beaches, beaches, Newsome said that they never did. And this is exactly the conversations we were having. So they never did close all the beaches. When is this from?

Five hours ago, OK. Officials in other parts of California spoken out against a blanket beach ban in California. Sheriff William Hanzo, who oversees Humboldt County, Hallah, in the northern part of the state where they get high as well, said he strongly opposes the order and indicated in a tweet that he would not enforce it. If an order is issued, I believe violates our constitutional rights, I will not enforce it. Good for you, Sheriff.

Yeah, only if you want to get sick. I wish he hadn't said it that way.

He's right, though. He's right. It does violate your constitutional rights.

But then the see, the problem with that is that that brings out the crazies. Right, the angry.

But he's responding. Look at Newsom's actually reacting. This said his office received letters regarding the beach closures, but said that his decision is guided on what local health officials think is appropriate and what's not. When you pull back too quickly, you literally put people's lives at risk. People are literally dying because I don't like when a governor uses literally twice like that.

I'm a stickler for some some sort of grammar because the decisions that were done without a real frame of focus on public health. First, Newsom said that's what ultimately guide our decisions. That's good. But you got to also give people freedom to get to give them the option if they don't want to go to the beach, like there should be a way you can avoid if everybody still everybody else is still locked down, how much does it really spread if people go to the beach, then come home?

Well, this is a thing. And this is where common sense, like I get the constitutionality of it. But when you say that that angers people, that word angers people. So you use common sense. And I get with the sheriff saying, like, if you're in Humboldt County at a small beach, that's not the same as opening Santa Monica. Right. So so you look at individually, where are you at? What's the population? Who's going to the beach?

And you that's why you leave it up more. It's more of a local decision because California coastline is so big and so long, there are some places where it's going to be packed and other places where it's not and the places where it's not going to be so packed.

Let them open those places where those places we don't like. Redwood Country. Yeah, eat at a bed and breakfast and the people run the place are odd, but let them let them open.

But you can't open, you know Venice. Yes. Because that's just going to be too dangerous. And that's where and that's why when I say the constitutional work, because once you say constitutional, then you bring out these people that want to make it a protest. I want to make it a thing. And any of the people who don't even care about going to the beach, they just want to make it a thing.

It's like, don't don't fuel that fire. Right, right. Right. Don't don't throw logs.

Those are the dudes who want to ranch on public land for free for guns and try to keep the feds with cows like like the guns.

Like that was the thing, right, when they first said guns are not essential. Right. Then they pulled back on that.

Well, it was essential. And then they decided to stop it from being essential because there's giant lines outside a gun store and people kind of tweaking. And then people complained about that and then they stepped in and said it's not. And everybody said, fuck you. And then I go, OK, we're kidding. You can have your guns. So let me tell you, because because I had I directly experience this last week, I bought a gun about the first time you've ever owned a gun.

No, no.

I owned a gun back in the 80s. I used to target shoot with some guys I worked with up in Oakland, but I bought a gun. Right, because all of this went down and be like, why did you buy a gun?

I said, Because the purge went from a movie to a documentary like, I don't want to be the only one, you know. But but the way I had to do it was you go online and you make an appointment with the gun store and then you show up and you wait outside like they they come, which by I bought a Glock 45.

Oh, stepping up. Yeah.

So I checked with the gang bangers. They were like, yeah, this is the one go sideways. But, but anyway you had to wait outside, you know, six feet apart or whatever and they brought you in one at a time and and then I was able to do it. I did the background check, by the way, the people who fight against that, the test in the background check. Like how?

Like do you understand? How have you done it? You know how easy these questions are.

The very easy questions on there, like, are you a felon? Yes. Or, you know, is there currently a restraining order out against you? Like, well, who who would check. Yes. On that box?

But you have to because if they find out that you're lying, you'll never get it right?

Well, you know, I'm pretty confident that I'll pass and I'll get it. And and the guy was cool. This is this is one of my concerns was I was because I don't. I don't know what gun store to go to, right, so so I was hot, I said, man. Don't let me walk into some place where there's a big Confederate flag on the wall in L.A., in L.A., in L.A. County. Yeah, you can find.

Listen, listen, Joe. Trust me. Just trust me on this there. But anyway, I know the guy was the only farm country. The five. Yeah. And the funny thing was the one of the big things was the size of my hands. Right. So big hands. So he's kind of like, yeah, man, you got to try to literally try it on and see how it fits. And the Glock fit my hand really well.

And then I was asking about shotguns and he was like telling me because I've fired shotguns, I've done that skeet shooting stuff. And he was talking to me about tactical shotguns. And so so he said, yeah, you want to get he said you probably want quantity because you don't really have to aim too well. When you got one of these, you just blast in the direction. I was like, all right, that sounds good. So I'm probably going to get one of those too.

But yeah, but it was cool. And, you know, I get it like, you know, it's funny because people say that people have accused me of being anti-gun and I'm like, no, I'm not anti-gun. I'm pro common sense. I'm pro common sense.

But what were your thoughts on gun laws before this? Did you think that people don't need to have guns? No, I never thought people don't need to. They think you did, because I've talked about like, we don't need 50 round clips. You know, I had a joke. I said, listen, I got a 50 round clip for self-defense.

I'm like, if 50 people want to kill you at the same time, maybe it's, you know, perhaps there's some part of your personality you need to look at.

I'll tell you one thing I've always got about guns. I'm a motorcycle guy, I'm a car guy, and I know some gun people. And from the mechanical artistic point like this, you know what I mean? Yeah, I get that like, oh, yeah, there were guns that are beautiful. Just from a mechanical standpoint, you look like this is a beautiful thing. And if you want to shoot it and shoot targets and isn't that great, if you want to hunt like you hunt.

I called you. You remember I texted you what I said, Joe, if the shit goes down, I'm coming to your bunker because I know you know how to kill animals. Like I got a friend who knows how to kill animals. I'ma go hang out with him. It would be way more difficult than that.

I had this conversation earlier today. Someone was asked me, would you be OK? And I'm like, you probably would not be OK with no civilization because you'd break an ankle and you die. You you get an infection and you die. And good luck finding animals all the time. And what if you run out of arrows or one if you run out of bullets, you can't make your own bullets. Well, it could get real weird real quick.

But but all of that aside. But those are the people who I'm like those are the ones we need to watch, the ones who like, I got to have this whole. Yeah. Bunker full of ammo and it's and have a thousand guns. The government's coming to get me and all that. Like those are the ones. So when I talk about gun laws and that's why I say common sense, there's a common sense level to it, you know, that, that I'm okay with.

But but no, I'm not anti I'm not anti-gun. No, you can't. The thing about people is they think it's a slippery slope. So if you say I am for the Second Amendment, but I don't think you should have 50 round clips or I don't think you should said that.

And they're like, well, who gets to decide? Who gets to decide commonsense comments, you know?

You know, who should decide should be the majority. It should be people. But but again, this is where we're all one side or the other. And common sense is in the middle. If we had a government of Congress, whatever that could debate and talk about and have input and say, hey, the hunters say that we need this and, you know, now it all makes sense, then you come up with it with a reasonable gun thing.

Like, for instance, I think that cars are a good example. Like we regulated guns the way we regulate cars in the sense you have to have a license. And when you sell it, even privately, if I sell my car to you, I notify the government like, hey, I just sold my car to Joe, then no, blah, blah, blah. He's now responsible for, you know, hold right there because someone just I need to find out this is true.

Someone just told me that in Georgia they're going to let kids have driver's license down.

That's a hundred percent true that you don't have to go through a driver's test now like they had last step of the like going to the DMV.

We put out an article on that so I could read what the parameters are. That is terrible. Yeah. Well, do you remember how bad you were a driver when you first started? You know, again, Joe, when they do this, I'm like, yeah, why the hell not? Why the hell not?

Let's give this six year olds with no expense go leaves road test requirement for driver's license during coronavirus.

Wow. Right. Because why would you need a road test to drive a car?

Look at this. The state the state government will rely on the honor system with parents giving young drivers the OK to obtain a license in fucking Georgia.

Jesus Christ, Joe.

Once again. Once again, common sense. See, now that you saw that and your common sense meter went, oh, George, he's reckless.

They're letting people go to barbershops, to letting people get a license with no test. You know, Georgia's right next to Florida, I'll just say real close, but I would think of no, no offense, Florida, but I would think of Georgia above floor. I think Atlanta above any city that is in Florida, no offense, Florida, but I mean, it'd be cool if Miami is a party city.

All the rest of them. There's not there's not a city that has the kind of sophistication that Atlanta has.

Right. But Atlanta is an island within Georgia. Yes. Land is like an island. I know.

So we look at Georgia, we think, oh, yeah, Atlanta. I've watched that Real Housewives show you. Right. Like the rest of Georgia, the rest of Georgia, you know, there's a lot of, well, a place.

You know, it's like California, right? Everyone thinks of L.A. and San Francisco, but there's a lot of California in between L.A. and San Francisco. Yes, that is different.

Like Humboldt at the guy that's going to be violating the constitutional rights and he's not going to enforce it. Yeah, it's California on the way up to San Francisco when you take that five. That's what I was talking about. Yeah, that's farm country with anti-abortion billboards.

That's right. And the whole water thing. They're fighting against the cities for the water.

Exactly. Water rights. Yeah, there's there's a lot going on, you know. So so, yeah. I think that, again, if it worked, if the system worked, we'd have a system of common sense. Unfortunately, we just have one extreme to the other. The thing about no guns, it's like, what are you going to this is already millions of guns out there. So that's impossible. Like, that's an unreasonable it is frightening to say one of those conversations doesn't have an answer.

There's not a clean answer. So when people bring that up like a Wall Street, you do it like, OK, first of all, A, there's only 20 million people in the whole fucking continent and it's the size of the contiguous United States.

So there's more people in California than there is in Australia.

So shut the fuck up, you know, and they also did it over a period of time. They did it pretty quick and they did it at they did it in a moment of outrage. Exactly. They did it in a moment of outrage and unfortunately used us as an example.

Yeah, you can still get guns over there for hunting, though. People hunt with guns over there. It's just people hunt in Canada, you know, in Canada. Had a mass shooting recently.

Long ago. Yeah. Yeah, but. So, you know, yeah, like you said, it's one of those without an answer that's the problem. Like if you're if you definitively think that this is the way and you don't see the other side of it, then you're going to always have this polarized argument, right?

Pro-gun. Anti-gun would lose that if they lose the.

I have to win. Right. And just like come up with a compromise that works.

But the gun people like particularly the NRA people, they don't think you should give up any ground, because if you give up any ground from where we are right now, it's just a slippery slope you're going to keep taking. And they do have a point with some people. Now, a lot of those people that used to think like that now are buying guns, which is hilarious. Buddy of mine. His wife was never having a gun. You never have any gun.

This shit went down. You need to get a gun. Like he said, it was a 180 switch and it happened immediately when everything was shutting down. You start you start thinking of people in their worst case possibility rather than we live in a nice area. Right? We're fine.

Yeah. And again, you're right, either extreme is impossible. Neither one wants to give up in it. Yeah. And you both have to give up an age. You know, neither one wants to give an inch, but you both have to give an inch and you, you know, and again, this is what we were talking about earlier, where the federal government, the federal government does need to be involved in a sense where you have like Chicago that has a huge gun problem, partly because you can just drive over to Indiana and buy anything you want and bring it to Chicago.

Is that what the problem is? Yeah. How close is Indiana to Chicago, Gary, Indiana to Chicago and things like two, three hour drive? Oh, and that's where guns come from. When I grew up and I grew up in New York City. Right. New York City has some of, if not the strictest gun laws in the country. I knew guys like you go down south, you go to Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina by any gun you want, drive up and sell them in New York.

Because remember, we are borders. You know, there's no border between. Right. You drive.

I hope that stays the way it is. I know that's a terrible thing, that people are bringing guns from Virginia, but I hope the border thing stays the same.

If you want to drive across the country, you can just go, yeah, I think the border should stay the same, but I think there has to be some sort of federal oversight to this. So what that again, what what you can buy, what's required to buy it, what's required if you had to provide ID to show who you are and where you live.

So now if you're to buy a gun, you mean. Yeah, you should have more than that. You should definitely do that to them. But that's what I'm saying. Now, if you're in one of the more lax states like Virginia, and I'm just using these examples, I don't know specific laws, but a Virginia or Arizona or something like that, you know, you can't just go there live in California, live in New York and go there and buy one like you got to prove like I live in Arizona so I can buy the ads.

So I'm subject to Arizona's laws. Yeah.

How does that work? If you're a citizen of the United States and you drive to Arizona to just buy a gun like you live in Arizona?

From what I understand and listen, I'm far from an expert, and I know this probably should probably go with this, but but the gun shows, I think that's what they said. You have a lot of lot of thuggery in the gun show because the gun shows is just one guy, one person selling to another.

And that's where it gets really vague. Yeah, that's what the rules.

People buy all kinds of illegal shit. Right.

So I think, you know, I think in a gun store, you need to provide ID and stuff like that. But the gun shows, yeah, it gets really kind of a gray area.

Didn't Bruno from didn't Sacha Baron Cohen is Bruno character go to a gun show. Yeah. That's super super gay character.

Oh yeah.

Guns are fun. The problem is people are morons. It's not. The problem is not that guns aren't fun. You know, I get yeah. I like guns. I have friends who are really gun nuts. You know, I have friends that have so many guns. I don't know how many guns they have. They love guns and they love them for the mechanical thing. It's their hobby. Like some people are really into muscle car.

Some people on motorcycles absolutely cool with that because most of the people I knew, one guy who he was, one like I'd be worried about, you know, he was one like, yeah, this guy's waiting for a reason.

I have a friend who's a gun nut and he got carjacked and he shot and killed them.

But most of the gun guys I knew, they collected him. Like you said, it was like muscle cars or motorcycles. Yeah, whatever. It was just their thing. Yeah. And and they were good one. And the other thing is the gun safety. You know, these idiots like there's so many stories like that. A gun was in the backseat and the kid shot the other kid. It's like, come on, there has to be some kind of.

Yes. Safety and liability issue. You know, like what's moron's just sort of it's not you.

You would never do that. I would never do that. Right. It's the problem is you taking something with God like powers and. You give it a tomorrow and then it has to. So there has to be that you have to somehow you're too dumb for a gun regulate the moral.

Yeah, like a simple test. You know, man, we've talked to a few people and you shouldn't be just are you a felon?

It should be like a competency test. Right. You know, I mean, you need a competency test drive a car because a car can be deadly.

Well, no, you don't need you. Don't you just need to go to Georgia. Jordan does need to move there during the day. Probably taking so much heat for that. Right now, people are probably freaking out. But then again, maybe not because it's Georgia.

Yeah. And and again, where where are you? So if you're way out on a farm in Georgia and you want to drive the pickup truck, then that's probably okay. But. Right, exactly. But if you're in downtown Atlanta, right at 16 and your parents are like, yeah, you can have a license, what the hell?

Oh, my God. People just cut people off and hitting the blinkers. You're going to be in a panic. That's hilarious. And it's so true.

But it's so it's such a poorly fucking thought out idea.

Yeah. Who who who decided that? Who decided that, you know, you know, screw the screw the road test was it was the governor of Alabama that didn't want to shut down.

Schools were not California.

Yeah. Was that what it was. Yeah. It's like no you're not. We're not California. Craziest place in Alabama. Have you been to Huntsville, Alabama? Dothan Dose in Alabama? I did a UFC there in nineteen ninety seven. First UFC ever did. OK, I've been to a couple different places in Alabama. Well, here's the thing. Huntsville, Alabama, rocket scientists.

It's where NASA is. When I drove in the Saturn five rocket. Oh shit. It is the last year like this.

Alabama, literally, they are rocket scientists. They must be done. And smartest people. Yeah, the rocket scientists and the locals. That's exactly it. It's the last thing you would expect. It blew my mind. They blew that. Yeah. The US Army, these are literally some of the smartest people in the country. In the world. Yeah.

And they're in Huntsville, Alabama. I bet they have good food there though. Yeah.

They had all kind of good, but no Southern people know how to eat.

It was one of those things that you like man. This is, this is insane. It's just weird. Like you didn't I didn't expect it there.

And that's funny when you think about that, that people have been cooking over fire forever.

But Southern people will I hold on, slow down a little. Let's slow it down. You know, slow cooked that motherfucker.

No, I'm OK. Because they're not worried about it being healthy that, you know. Oh, yeah, they're sources.

And they figured out what I want some chicken fried chicken with a cream sauce and they like fried steak.

Chicken fried steak is fucking when it's when it's done right, man, you know, but but then they they take it too far. Right now we're deep frying Twinkies. You're like, OK, stop this. So your heart just stops.

Yeah, but chicken fried steak when done right with that gravy and some mashed potatoes like I remember one time we did a show in Georgia at the club. What was the club there. Was it the Funnybone punch line. Punch line. Punch line, Atlanta. We did, we did that club and then afterwards we went to this local diner that had chicken fried steak. And I was like, oh my God, yeah.

It was so fucking good, you know, how to make for, you know, it was insane. You get some sweet potatoes, sit down and then, you know, some cobbler for dessert and like it. But nobody's counting calories.

Nobody's count calories. Well, I think the people that probably earned the right to make that food back in the day were probably working some crazy hours on some physical.

Yeah. Physical labor all day. Like who the fuck invented all those foods? Like who who was the first guy to look at a barrel and look at another look.

I need a barrel where I cook on and then I got another one next to it. So the smoke's coming in the side. Slowly cook this fucker.

Somebody did it by accident. And then they were like, hey, man, that was good, or maybe they just like like cooked something, like they go, Oh, I need to cook this like I don't have I don't want to cook it right now. I'm going to, like, just kind of put a little bit of Maeva, put a little bit of a fire and just let it sit for a while.

I don't have the time to pay attention to it.

I'll come back to work all day or they tasted the smoke in something. They're like, man, that's good. How do we how do we just get that flavor? I don't know.

But thank God for them. Thank God for them.

Because they they do know how sad an American idea. Tauri, KGN Smokehouse, the first smoking device and smoking history. And what did they cook there?

That salmon people love smoked salmon just as meat. Just meat Scotland. Oh, yeah.

Because in Montreal, smoked meat is like that's what they call like deli meats.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's something like pastrami. Yeah. Like pastrami, but it melts in your mouth.

Oh Montreal. Yeah. Oh my God.

It's so good. The place where you line up outside. What is that place called. I don't know how I'm forgetting the name because I've been but yeah. And now here's a place you talk about social distancing. There is no you you just have to sit at the bench. Yeah. Next to whoever eat your smoked meat. And then as soon as you finish, they were like, all right, get out of your seat.

Yes, that's right. The names of the places. I feel like it's like a guy's name. Yeah, it's it was like a dude's name.

Like Franck's or something like that. Yeah. Someone's freaked me out, but it's a smoked meat.

It's the most. Don't don't look up. Smokehouse looked out of smoked meat.

Yeah. There you go. See there it is. Smoked meat to see if there's a restaurant shows this as much as we've done in the past.

I don't think it's organo. It's hard to watch. That's it. I said look at that. Twelve thousand reviews, all five stars.

If you wait in line. Yeah. You get your smoked meat, you sit down next to whoever you eat it and you get the hell out.

Oh shit. They're open. I guess they probably were doing to go. Montrail, it's so cold up there. The virus doesn't have a chance.

The virus probably dies as soon as it comes out of your mouth. Virus in Winnipeg. I remember the first time a virus in Winnipeg. I like you. That's what it looks like to God. Yeah. Looks good. Yeah.

Oh, there's something like the Jews know how to make those goddamn meat sandwiches. Yeah. Pastrami pastrami. Rubin from Canters. Yes.

Oh good. I wonder if they're open. I can't. There's always Canter's open right open.

I hope we don't lose too many restaurants man. I'm really scared of that. We're going to lose a lot of the private, you know, the ones that aren't part of a chain or, you know, whatever.

And we've got to support them.

That that whole thing was crazy. We're like Ruth's Chris gets twenty million dollars and you know all of that.

I guess they think of it from an economic perspective. Ruth's Chris employs, you know, fifty thousand people or whatever it is, all your different locations.

You know what it was. It was that they went by individual restaurants. So like if you had I think if you had over six thousand employees or something, you were considered a big business. But each restaurant only has, you know, forty, fifty people. So that's how they got the money. Well, I have to say that a small business, right. Yeah. They got strange things were included in it.

Right. Because I had stores under less than fifty years. They count each one, they don't count the whole nationwide corporation, they count each one and that's why they got the money.

So individual got the money and like so you could own Alonzo Boden's, Ruth Chris, you could have your own Ruth Chris. Right.

What the theory was that this money would be divided amongst all of the restaurants. But of course, it wasn't going to happen. The money was just going to go to corporate. And then they basically they got shamed out of you know, they were like they were shamed and they were they gave it back. I don't know. Did Bruce Chris yet, Bruce? Because like Steak Shack and the other places, they were like, no, we're not going to take the money.

OK, good.

Ruth's Chris Steakhouse returns a twenty million dollar federal loan in response to public demand.

I remember Chris back when people thought butter was bad for you. They were putting butter on steak. Yeah, that's back when they like. Who gives a fuck about your health, right? Like butter on the steak. And then when they realize that butter is actually good for you, like like Chris had a game ahead of the game there way you hear the story of how they got that name.

Oh, yeah, I forgot it was Chris's steakhouse and this woman bought it, and in the contract they had to keep it. Chris Steakhouse. So that's why it's Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Oh, good for her. Yeah, she's like fuckin hurt her. Brilliant idea. And it was a great idea. She said that I think it was originally like in Louisiana and Texas. And she said these businessmen travel and everywhere they go, they're going to want to eat steak. So she started opening up where the you know, where these guys went business so that they would recognize the restaurant. Very smart woman, very smart woman. That's a very smart built and franchise.

That's very accurate.

That's how she built the franchise. If I'm with my friends, we're going to go eat somewhere. We look for a steakhouse. Right.

And if you recognize one and you know it's good. Yeah. Then that's where you go.

Yeah. So good move. That's a good move. Yeah. The whole steak house thing, it's like that is a that's a very uniquely at least we look at it that way, a very uniquely American thing.

I know they have steakhouses other places, but I know you know your numbers of steak houses. We have I think we have the number, but those Brazilian steakhouse, the two Koreas, where they just walk around with the meat and you and now that that's a male thing, right. You don't just you take a woman to a restaurant, like, look, they've got unlimited meat. You can eat meat. You get that. Men just like it.

Just bring me more to keep bringing me meat for you to shop in Beverly Hills. Absolutely. That place will wreck you. Yeah, green.

But the Green Square, you will flip that switch over and you will give up. You will give up.

Sometimes they just keep coming one after the chicken leg, you know, filet mignon with bacon.

Yeah. They just carted off for you right there. But but it's like that is such a yeah. That's like yeah. I'm just going to sit here and we eat meat. I'm not going to eat again for three days but and don't go. They're not hungry. Don't you know. You know, I mean this is not a place to go worrying about what you're going to eat. Like I have that little salad bar over there like yeah whatever.

Just keep bringing me different meat. Like the green is up. Yeah.

That's Alborz bullshit. You know, you don't wanna fuck with you.

Don't you want to lube up the shoe. That's what you do, get some fiber in there. So it kind of pushes, pushes the chute open a little bit, gets everything ready for the barrage of carnage.

And I think this is that time where where you know, for me it's like like I told you, like, you're doing great. You're staying in shape and working out. I'm trying to keep moving. I'm riding a bicycle here in there today, starting to learn to jump the rope. But I will eat something like my justification is like, well, listen, it's a deadly virus. I don't want to die and not have had pizza, you know, and I know it's bullshit, but it's what I can tell myself that's a single shot is that's just what I tell myself to justify eating this shit at this time.

It's like, well, listen, you live by yourself, though. Yeah.

Yeah, we we have meals because I'm eating at home with the kids and the wife. So we every every meal is like has to be healthy.

Yes. When you have kids you can't feed kids bullshit. Right. Like you have to have some healthy choices. You have to you're teaching them to eat healthy.

Well, no, no, that's great. You know, you're not doing any working out at all. No, I do some. The bicycle is actually bicycle. You go outside or inside bike. Yeah, outside. Inside bike. Treadmill. Just so boring. I get the discipline of it but it's boring. But now I'll get on my bike.

But you know it's great if you have a treadmill or an inside bike is movies. Yeah. Watch fucking movie. You don't even know you're doing it and you're an hour and a half in it.

It's over. It's an idea. That's the movie. Oh God. Guy thought he was telling me, he said get this NordicTrack. I guess it's like the peloton and you know, oh that's like computerized. And to track a scheme that was the old NordicTrack. But they make a bicycle now. It's like, OK. And he was telling me and I said, man, it's a lot of money to spend for something to hang my pants on.

Do you remember when people had those bullshit ski machines? They're asked to pretend you're skiing. Nobody use the snow.

You used it. You used it three times. It had it's the cables, the cables. You move back and forth and your feet slid back there.

You could tell someone if you went over someone's house and they didn't have their shit together, they either had one of those or they had a Bowflex. Yeah.

They had like one or the what was the one was the one where it was it was just rubber plates and you would pull them apart. You remember wasn't a Bowflex, it was like that. Now it was like that.

I don't remember. I do remember the Bowflex and now they have a new Bowflex. That's actually like a bow. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's yeah. It's like I forget what it's called, but yeah there's a bunch of bow exercises right.

With it. Nobody's using that. No. You use it, you're going to. Those are for people that don't have their shit together. You look at that and you go, oh, maybe I'll use it. OK, I'll get. But you know why? Because the commercial they get somebody who goes to the gym, who works out regularly to do the commercial and say, yeah, 20 minutes a day with this. And I have this body and you're like, no, you don't.

Because I know people with that body and their discipline is beyond belief, you know.

You know, I mean, like like I used to I used to work with this trainer at Gold's and she was like amazing shape. She had been a bodybuilder. And then she shifted over to fitness, you know, and she just just cut up and beautiful in this and that.

And I used to tell her I was like, you understand, if you lived in, like Oklahoma or Iowa, like women would kill you. Like, they just wouldn't allow you to exist because you have this perfect body, you know, because because when they had that whole thing about women's bodies and the false what was it, the false image of women's bodies. The problem with that is when you're in L.A., that's not really false, because those women, the models who do those pictures are here.

Yeah, there you go.

To an unrealistic body expectation, right? Yeah. They're not unrealistic for guys, though. If you if you if you see nobody ever says that about you will bodybuilders are bullshit because they're fat.

Guys need love to write. You're giving us unrealistic body expectations. Nobody says anything about that.

No, but but because but because we don't feel bad about men that look like shit. Right. Women walking around like a guy who looks like shit has a shot, you know what I mean? Like women aren't as we don't care about that guy. Women aren't as picky about it as men are in our minds. You know what I'm saying?

Well, it's also that men control the advertising and check to find women in these ads. But when men objectify men, the ads for women, no one cares.

Well, you know why? Because if the guy's too pretty, oh, he's gay. We could say that.

But what if the guy's not? Even if he's not and he's rugged looking? Yeah, he's not.

But I mean, that's the dismissal. Like in other words, when women look at that woman and they they sell that image, they never say she's she's trying to achieve that image. Right. But but when they show men that guy men are just like, yeah, but he's gay. So that doesn't work the other way, then they don't have to try to compete with him. Yeah. You know, let me tell you something. When I was hanging out with Tyson Beckford, you know, Tyson is a little bit too handsome.

It was it was comical. It was literally I laugh like the way women would react when they saw him and the fact that you don't even exist in the world. But but it wasn't it's not even trying to compete. It's like, OK, well, I'ma play a pickup game with LeBron James, you know what I mean? It was like, no, no, there's no. Well, he's got two things going on. You just look, it was just fun to watch, but he's also got two things going on.

He's famous, too. Yeah. So he's famous as fuck and he's beautiful. Yeah. And he's tall and handsome. He's got everything. Yeah. You like. What are you going to do.

Yeah. It was just that kind of thing so you know so yeah. The unrealistic expectation, you know my, my unrealistic expectation went right out the window.

It was like Elway competing with that girls to get mad though. But I think some guys would get mad too. Yes, some do bitch dudes, but girls will get really angry if they see like some some bitch that just showed up at the gym. She's got a perfect body. Right. And then you're on your treadmill looking down at yourself. Go fuck. Yeah.

Yeah. And then if they do the whole sexy out workout outfit and the whole thing, you know, the real problem.

Yeah. They get mad at their husbands too. What the fuck are you looking at. Oh yeah. That's a problem. But you know, it's but again here in L.A. or like Miami. Oh yeah. That's unrealistic. Miami is Miami should be rated R first of all, like when you get off the plane and like, listen, you're too young to be here. You're going to you're going to have to go up to Fort Lauderdale.

You're not seventeen. It's NC 17. It's not even rated R because you could read it.

You can go with your parents if your parents are assholes to your fourteen year my kid agency to slash movie, the NC 17.

Like, you can't take that kid in here.

The women walking around Miami. It's so sexy. Again, it's just comical. You know, this is the other thing that like getting older, like being my age. I'm in my 50s. Where. I'm not chasing them anymore, so it's just fun to watch. Right. You know what I mean? Because it's like you watching Nature documentaries. Yeah, it's like they look at you.

You look at that. This is amazing. Like this. Do you see this like an exotic bird?

Just just like she walks around like that every day. All the time. She just looks like that's incredible. Well, it's also such a superficial culture, too, is like people over there that are really rich. There's a lot of Flosse in this world where in the latest shit driving the fast is the whole thing, but it has diamonds on your watch. And yeah, it's just fun to watch.

So it's a very interesting caught up in it. If you get caught up in trying to be that, then you got problems. But as long as you remember it's entertainment because that's what it is. Well, it's a city that was sort of built on cocaine.

Yeah, exactly. Which and that's why it's funny now with with marijuana. Right. With we they like we don't know what to do with the weed money. And it's like we'll talk to the people who did Miami in the 80s because they managed to turn all that cocaine money into a city like they they managed to.

Well, that's already been going on with weed in places where it's illegal, like in Vancouver for the longest time. There was a documentary that was in way back in the day called The Union. And it was all about how even though marijuana is illegal in Vancouver, the city literally depends on it.

The industry is built. There's so much money in marijuana in Vancouver.

I mean, people kind of forgot about it because California has it legal now and Oregon and Washington State as illegal now. Right. But for the longest time, we got a lot of our weed from from Vancouver, a lot of British Columbia weed. And so this documentary was essentially showing how it's completely interconnected with the economy up there. It's enormous. And if they pulled out somehow or another, if marijuana and all the maremont more money just went away and it didn't exist anymore, the economy would probably fall apart or need a huge readjustment.

And that's why Miami was yes, Miami was like all the banks. Yeah, they're laundering money down there. There's so many Bayelsa State like that was building office buildings and condos and and so on. The water was. Yeah, it was, you know, but what a city. It's beautiful. What a city.

So wild place. It's also on like a very porous stone which will absolutely go underwater soon.

Well, and again, I love I have Florida friends. I love them. God is continually trying to destroy Florida. It's sending a message, just throwing things. Just hurricanes and tornadoes and just everything is just. Yeah, just keep throwing.

Oh, and if you're not, how about alligators to get fucking alligators everywhere? Dinosaurs, alligators. And this is how goofy California is.

California banned pythons and alligators to two things. They're trying to kill all day long in Florida. So you can't even buy python skin things.

I mean, literally, there's like a market for their invasive it's a fucking giant snake that comes from another part of the world that should even be nothing can kill too many of them in Florida.

They're killing. They're paying people to kill them. You can't even sell the skins in California.

And it's so goofy. But the thing with alligators, it's like, why would you go near any water in Florida? You know? I mean, like, if there's a puddle, like, yes, stay away. It is probably. And it I remember I played golf in Florida and they were like, yeah, when you hit your ball in the water like you don't like, it's gone. There was a huge one that just caused a traffic jam.

So see if you can find that it was out today in the news. There was a huge alligator in Florida that was causing a traffic jam because it was walking across the road and people like, what the fuck, like 16 foot long God damn animals.

Like since humans are locked away, animals are coming out, you know, they going down into town looking for food. Not a bobcat back. Really. Yeah.

Yeah, I hear about fucker. I hear coyotes and owls. Oh yeah. And stuff, you know, at night like yeah they're close, they're moving in.

If it's as soon as we're gone, if we, if we got wiped out this place would be overrun with animals in weeks.

Yeah. Nature would come back real quick. Your quarterback really find it.

Maybe. Let me, let me text it to you. I'll find it. I'm in Florida. Is it two years old? Yeah, it's it's April. Twenty eighteen.

There's no one that's new. No, there's not one. There's news. Well looks like. OK, look at I think maybe. I think it's another one and that's in Jackson, I think Jacksonville is the town that there's a lot of crazy Johnsonville, are you? That's what the UFC is going to be. Yeah, there's a lot of that's where the beach thing was going that way to the spring break. Beaches were going and. All right, nothing there.

All right, maybe it's an omen someone sent me. The man found eaten by an alligator actually died of meth overdose alligators.

That's hilarious. I was doing that. Yes.

No, you fucking did die of a meth overdose and the alligator comes along and eats you. Oh, my God.

Doing a podcast called Fearnot with a guy named Barry Glassner who wrote a book called The Culture of Fear. And it's about, you know, what we fear in society. And we had a segment of the podcast. It was just called Fear Florida, because every week something would happen in Florida, like Florida.

It just like that. Yeah.

The city of Lakeland closes portion of part because of snake orgy. Of course. Of course. And look. Look at the date. Look at the date. Valentine's Day. It's on Valentine's Day, February 14. It's hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh. An 11 foot alligator was found inside a Clearwater home last week. Of course you could.

You could you could do this with no end. Florida go. It's just an amazing and again, some good people. Tampa. I love the city of Tampa. Yeah, I have great shows there. I love Best Pompa. Yeah.

But man, I've had great times in West Palm with the improv down there.

Yeah. But some of the stories you hear in some of the things that happen, you just like Florida, you guys. It's like Florida, past Mississippi a long time ago used to be Mississippi, even California. We used to be the crazy state. Yeah. California with you now we can't keep Florida used to be like old Jewish people.

Go there it was Miami. You used to call it God's waiting room. Yes, that's right.

The New York people didn't want to deal with the winter anymore. Yeah. Now it's just chaos. Now it's it's just pills and fucking madness and alligators. There's so many alligators there. You ever watch small people show.

Oh, man. That one of the guys that's a commercial. That's one of those shows that when you see it, you're like, I have to watch this.

One of the guys, it's a commercial killer of of values. He got a tag for 500 alligators. You can kill five. That's how many they have. Five hundred alligators. That's how it's not there's not a shortage of these five things.

My favorite thing about swamp people is they're speaking English and they still have subtitles.

That's so true and so to speak in English, but they have subtitles to help stand.

Well, there's that sort of Cajun's sort of way of talking, which is real interesting, right?

Because that's a really unique subset of the Southern accent. That is the Hillbilly Handfishin. Yeah. See that one? Oh, I've seen that with a doodle. Yeah. They catch the catfish by letting it clamp down that rhyme. Right. What the fuck.

Yeah. But I guess if you get one of those fuckers that's like a hundred pounds. Yeah. That's a lot of meat, a lot of meat.

So I guess they grab the gills, they let this thing bite their arm, they put their hand in its mouth, they let it bite their arm and then they grab the gills and pull this fucker out.

Remember, we were talking about the guy who ate this slug? Yeah. You know, that was the first Hillbilly Handfishin guy was like, hey, watch this. And he stuck his hand inside of a catfish and pulled it out. And they were like, I'll be damned. That's we got a way to do it. Yeah. How many guys lost their hands? The snapping turtles doing that? Yeah.

They're not going to date and they never give you the bad side snapping turtle scare the fuck out of me when I lived in Florida for a bit and when I was 11 years old, I lived there till thirteen and we used to find these fucking turtles. I guess they're tortoises, right, because they're on dry land. I think it would be huge and they can bite through.

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. They're getting out. They bite your crotch on your eleven year old kid and one decides to bite your dick. That's it. It's over.

They catch a finger, slice your finger right off, clean off. We would put sticks near them and they would bite the sticks.

Yeah. We're so stupid.

When you were eleven I was also around alligators all the time. When I was eleven, we used to go and throw marshmallows into the water and there were signs telling you to stop feeding the alligators marshmallows after a while. But the alligators back then were actually they were endangered.

So yeah, that was protected. They were protected. But then the population grew skyrockets so much it went from them being protected to them giving someone 500 tags to kill them.

In my lifetime in Orlando, there was one of those alligator farms like you go. And I said, that's for like when Dad gets tired after his third day at Disney World, when he's tired of the kids, it's like, all right, let's go see the alligators. And he says, I don't give a shit. I'm tired.

Well, there's something about alligators that we want to see always, because there's so primal. It's such a dinosaur.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they they're dinosaur. They've been around forever and ever seen that video where the ladies throwing chickens off the balcony, these crocodiles, and they're grabbing the meat and eating it and one of them reaches and doesn't get the meat and it just grabs his buddies leg and spins and rips it off and swallows it.

And his buddy doesn't even budge, doesn't even budge. They did like the other alligator, just ate his foot. And he literally just looks around like our other crocodile, rather just got his foot. He doesn't even react. That's what that was like.

Like the one what is it, a deer or something that the riverbank and the crocodile jumps out of the river and bites the whole thing and pulls it. Watch this. So she throws this meat, right. They all stumble for it. And this one grabs a hold that one foot and just watch does the death roll, pops off the leg and then just swallows little thanks. And the one he just ate his fucking arm is the reaction.

I'm like, you just eat it, but you just eat my fucking hand. It doesn't even seem mad. How how have we let this thing survive?

There's so gross. They have moss growing all over their back.

A creepy ass fucking monster, alligator snapping turtle, which is the cross of both things here about an alligator snapping turtle.

Yeah. Oh jeez. Oh, I've seen those.

Those are fucking enormous. Yeah. And nasty. Where do those live like this just shows a map of it I think.

Look at you look at that thing. Mexico and Central America. What the fuck man. You know what? I like that guy in the hat. That's how that guy always looks. Right. Right. Yeah, right. Like he's always that guy.

He's hoping to be the next Crocodile Dundee look at him.

He gets bitten by him and shit. No. Yeah. He's the guy that does not get stung by stuff.

What is his name again? I Peterson. Oh yeah. He's he's a silly, silly man.

But that's that's the alligator one on the left and right regular world.

He's the guy who lets he lets those bugs bite him and shit that like there's a new show I was talking about. I watched a little bit of it on the History Channel with these two guys. One's an Australian dude, one is an American. And they go and they get they like let themselves feel the pain and then explain it. Oh, and in a larger way than he does almost two hold up while we're doing this.

Back that up a little bit while we're just talking. Look at the fucking right there. Everyone there watch his fucking claws.

Oh yeah. So they go over his body here, you see the plates underneath them and then they show his claws.

Look at that. It's like a grizzly bear. Yeah. And then they close in on his face. Hmm. Look at the yap on that thing.

That might as well being the Lord of the Rings, I might as well be an orc, you know, like look at that.

There might as well be riding a horse, swinging a fucking axe, a monster.

You thought the honey badger didn't give a shit? Yeah. The alligator turtle. What what threat does he have? Is there anything that probably that is a threat to him?

I saw video of a sea turtle that had a whole bite taken out of it. Like a cookie from a shark. Yeah.

So a bull shark through a fucking sea turtle cut through his shell, cut half the body out and it was swimming away with three legs and the entrails were hanging out.

It's like, wow. Well, that's the other thing that's been here since the beginning, right. Sharks. Yeah, look at that. Look at that bite.

Marketers medal nature is medals are great. Twitter, Instagram page or other. Yeah, yeah. The one in the middle up left. It looks like something took a bite out of it and it lived. Look at that, it healed up. Yeah, wow. Jesus Christ, it's hard out there for a pimp. Yeah, yeah. The ocean's the cruelest bitch. Yeah. Because this shut down at it, everything's eatin somebody right there.

Like, imagine if that was the outside world. Like everywhere you look is a fish trying to eat a fish.

Something tragic. Like all the time. All the time. It's like Africa.

Like the Serengeti squared. Yeah. You know there's always something and we have no natural defenses. Yeah. We got nothing. We can't even move in.

We got no fur, we got no claws, no scales.

We're just we're delicious, you know. I mean like if you're a predator, just an unarmed human being is so easy, so easy.

And the fact that we're so stupid, at least on the ground, you feel like you might be able to like grab a rock and throw it at it or stab it with a knife.

But when you're in the ocean, you cut fuck, you can't breathing.

You can't even breathe. You can barely can move. You're moving. You're the slowest thing. You're thrashing around.

Think about how fast a shark moves and how fucking slow you are. Yeah. And you're like, oh, just I'm curious.

I just want to swim around the sharks like, oh, here they come again. The buffet.

What would it take to get you to start hunting? You know, I don't know that I have the patience for it. Hmm. I'm not you know what? If you were starving. Well, yeah, obviously then. But but I think hunting it there's a patience to it. It's one of those things where you wait a long time for that moment of action, so. Well, it depends on what kind of hunting you do.

I see what you're saying with some hunting, like Tristant hunting, you have to have an incredible amount of patience to sit in a tree and you stay still and you stay up there a long time. But spot and stalk hunting, it's not as much patience, spot and stock. What you're doing is you're you're moving along slowly and then you pull your binoculars, he glass the area. Sometimes you sit down, you glass there and you find the animal and you slowly move towards them and you try to play the wind.

So the wind is blowing at you.

So the animal's not getting your smell. You. Yeah. So that kind of hunting is actually very, very exciting. But it's also a very rigorous exercise. You're going up and down mountains. It's like. Right.

You have to be in really good shape to be like if you're going to hunt elk or mountain goats or some shit like that, like you got to be in really good shape.

Yeah, I don't know that that be my thing, you know. But what if there's a food shortage. It listen, if there's a food shortage, I'm a big guy. There's going to be a smaller guy who has food.

I bought a Glock. What would it take to get you to move out of L.A.? Man, I don't know.

I mean, in some kind of disaster situation, you're talking about like earthquake type deal. Yeah. Then then I would go. But otherwise, I've thought about leaving here. You know, I've got friends who've left because of the cost of living and they live in much higher standard living in other places. But but I love L.A. At the end of the day, I love this part. It you know, the weather, the the the roads I get to play with the motorcycles, this and that.

So this is so my lifestyle. I mean, I'm I'm mainly a road guy could live anywhere and still do 90 percent of the work I do. But I love living in L.A. So if I were somehow priced out of it, that would be the only way I left. I mean, obviously, if there's an earthquake or a disaster or something, then then I'll head to I love living in L.A. the way L.A. was.

OK, yeah, I don't know if that's going to be the case anymore. So I'm like one of those guys, like if you play musical chairs, I'm like, this fucking music could shut off any second.

Now to that. Yeah.

Now, your kids have always lived here. Yes, they grew up here. So what would their what do you think their thought would be, kids or somewhere.

Kids are adaptable man. They adapt really quickly. It's interesting because that's one of the things that I've noticed about them doing their schoolwork online. They do this work on computers and they're adapting. It is the only way that they have face time with their friends. You know, it's it's interesting. It's and I'm really proud of them for their their ability to adapt and not freak out about it and just accept, you know, and we spend a lot of time together.

We do a lot of movie nights. I watch every fucking Adam Sandler movie that ever existed, basically, except little Nicky. I haven't seen that one.

Yeah, but. I don't I don't think I think as long as the families there and there's other kids to be friends with, kids can do all right.

They'll just yell at him, do artley that. I mean, not even partly a big part of that is testament to you and your wife as parents to have kids who are like that, you know, versus some kind of spoiled L.A. kid you couldn't have, you know, sometimes movings.

Good to know. Yeah, not. Listen, if I had to, I was just talking with a friend. This summer's 40 years for me in L.A. I moved here in 1980.

So this summer is 40 years because his 40 year was this month. And we were talking about it like when we first came here, we were kids, you know, 18, 19, right out of high school, moved from New York to L.A. and just mind blown. And I've been here long enough to see it. That's why I said when you talk about L.A., how it used to be, I can think of a few versions of the L.A. I've lived in.

You know, I listen, I got a buddy. We talk about it. We could have bought parking lots in downtown L.A. for 25000 bucks.

You know, I mean, downtown L.A. used to be like what you see is Skid Row used to be the whole downtown was like nobody went downtown and that crazy you went downtown.

The bankers and insurance people were there during the day. And then at five o'clock it was just closed.

But had that happen and because it was nothing there, there was no reason why they built those buildings down there.

Because I don't because it was business and office buildings, I guess, felt they needed to be downtown.

But isn't that weird that they would just have this one spot where there's all these tall buildings apart part in all of L.A. and no one wanted to live there?

Yeah, yeah. And that's the way the opposite of other cities. Right. Like if you go to downtown Minneapolis, there's all these big buildings and a bunch of apartments and people live down there and it's totally normal.

They tried to develop I remember in it in the eighties, they tried to develop downtown and nobody would move down there. In the 90s. They tried to develop downtown and people just wouldn't move there. And then they finally when they got Staples Center and then they said the big difference was grocery stores.

They said when they open grocery stores, because before if you live downtown, you had to go to like Brentwood or some people Rock or or Pasadena, like you had to get on the freeway to go buy food.

So once they develop the grocery stores, then people start. And it was also I think it was also a matter of everywhere else got crowded and expensive. So initially downtown was cheap and then it became the the cool spot to be.

But it's so bum infested. Oh, yeah. So crazy how many homeless people are shit on the streets out there.

But but again, like if you know it's one of those, if I knew then what I know now, you know, I mean, like in the eighties man, I could have just bought a just a parking lot down. Maybe there's a spot right now they will get it right.

We don't we don't know where it is. You know, Inglewood, Inglewood, five years ago, because now Inglewood is getting a new football stadium, the new basketball arena. They're developing it, but now it's too late. Right? So, yeah. So who knows what that next area, what do they call it?

Gentrification. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder because I wonder how much of an effect this is going to. First of all, I've talked to my friends in New York City and they said that a lot of the real estate people are preparing for a mass exodus. They're saying, first of all, of New York City can't be New York City anymore. Like it can't be everybody is just coming there from everywhere else and filling the streets.

It's super crowded. If that can't be the case, then what is it?

And if it really is a place where the virus might kick back in again and have a second wave, people are not going to want to buy there.

Well, just look at look at the past, right. Because if you look at New York in the 60s and 70s, people didn't want to live in a city. They lived in the suburbs. Right. And then the gentrification was all the people in the suburbs. Their kids wanted to live in the city. Huh. So it would be another movement out of the city, to the suburbs and the cities would I don't know, fall is the right word, but the cities would know, you know what I mean?

Because commerce wise, it's always going to be in the city because business is done there. But that's no, but that's the other.

But that's changing along with virtual shit, virtual stuff. But especially in New York, New York's going to be a city because New York is a gateway into the United States and New York is banking, you know, Wall Street and all of that. So to an extent, New York's going to be New York. But as far as people living there, yeah, a lot of people, they may go to their homes in the Hamptons or in whatever and say, you know what, I don't need to go to city about all those restaurants that have been there forever.

Like Queens Steak House. Yeah, places that have been there since.

Some of those are already there already saying some of those won't be back. Fuck already saying some of those places won't be back like.

New York had so many New York has so many things, but we don't who knows right now? Who knows? Like fashion, right?

Who knows its fashion is going to be a thing or are we all going to just wear sweatpants now if you have to stay at home?

Have you seen so many people that have been doing these things where they're wearing suit and tie?

Yeah, but they're wearing short shorts and they get busted shorts and nobody's wearing underwear, right? Yeah. So, you know. Yeah. What's the new normal going to be in so many levels. Cars. Right. People now they're buying cars online. So is it going to go back to going down to the car dealership in arguing with this guy and all of that bullshit, or is it just going to be like, hey man, I'm going online, this is what I'm paying, and then I'll go down there and pick up my car?

I don't know.

Well, a lot of people are still going to want to kick the tires, drive it a little bit, see what it is you don't know. There's so many cars that drive so differently, you don't know what to expect. Unless there's a place where you could test drive a car, you're going to be more reluctant to make that.

So you can you can still test drive. But the negotiation and the bullshit part, are people still going to want to do that?

They're going to want to, because it's going to be a limited number of cars, especially the cars that get that get overpriced, like a new Corvette, like they're they sell them way above sticker.

Right, because there's not that many of them, those kind of cars, you're still going to be able to make money.

Yeah, but the cars that are the most cars that sell the transportation car, the Camry records and stuff like that. Yeah. Do people really they're like, I don't need to test drive, but I know what it is.

Well, the real problem is it's a supply and demand thing. Right. And then the other thing is like, do we need to keep making cars?

Like how many of these cars that we still have? Can we fix up right. And get get on the road again?

And at what point in time do we stop every year flooding the market with a million new cars or whatever the number is?

Yeah, but it's part of our economy. It is. And it's a tradition. And and you've got all these people in Georgia now who are going to be driving down.

But you know what else is a part of our comany economy? Fixing cars. Yeah. You know, and there's there's there's something to be said for that.

For more of that is going away. Yeah. Because cars are so efficient and digital. Now, you know that that mechanic that you used to go to down the street like he doesn't exist anymore because he's got to have all this equipment to plug the car in. Yeah. And find out, you know, I mean, I drive a BMW and I say, like, when you lift the hood of my car, it should just say none of your business.

There's nothing under here for you to touch. You don't know how. You know what I mean. Like, you don't know what you're looking at. You have to take this to the dealer. And so many cars are like that now. Yet Tesla test, the electric cars are all going to be like that. You have to you're going to have to take it back. It's going to be like an apple. You bought it. Yeah. You're going to have to take to electronics.

It's a an accident. I don't even know, like, you can't take a test or to a body shop. Right. You have to take it back to Tesla or what. No, you don't know.

You could bring it to a body shop. OK, yes. Different body shops that serviced Tesla only, right. Yeah.

Yeah. That's how you got to have you got to have a guy who knows because it's digital sensors, it's this or that the other. It's not just put an offender back on because the offender has a camera in it and a sensor in addition to that. Right.

Depending upon what happened to. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Those that's the future too. And the future is a maintenance vehicle. So what we're accustomed to, we're seeing here over the last month where there's no fucking pollution in the sky, that's probably going to be the future.

And people also have to adapt. You know, people from a technological standpoint, in other words, like if you've been fixing the well, I'll give you an example used to fix carburetors, then you better learn to fix fuel injection because all cars are fuel injected. Now, there's a few classic cars with carburetors and there's a few guys that they need to fix them. But other than that, yeah, if you want to work, so so you're going to if you're fixing cars, either you're going to have to adapt to the digital car or you're just going to go out of business, you know, or are you going to work on old cars.

You're always going to be that many, you know. I mean, it becomes more of a specialty because there are fewer of them. Yeah, it's like 60s muscle cars right there. They're great, but there aren't enough to support all the mechanics that used to fix them. That's true. You know, so you you got to adapt. You got to adapt. You got to adapt. And there's always those people shake added new ones. Ain't no it's like no, the new ones are good.

It's just used to. Yeah. It's not my thing.

Fucking spaceship. Yeah. How is it not your thing. It's amazing.

This guy told me, he told me something and when he told me it hit he said, you know why you don't like Tesla's. He said because you like cars and a Tesla is an appliance. And I was like, yeah, that's it.

It's so, you know, it doesn't make any noise. It works, but it doesn't have the visceral feel of. You drive on 9/11, right? Yeah, I have one of those. It's a different thing. Does not have that visceral feel of driving.

No, but it's way better to drive efficiently, not just efficiently the way it moves. And it just goes around things so quickly, like you accelerate.

It's the instant torque. It's the talk of electric motors. But I still and, you know, maybe I'm that dinosaur or whatever, and I don't knock. Tesla is like, if you want a Tesla, have a Tesla and have fun with it. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I just know it's not for me. I prefer engines. I like engines, too.

I like shifting my own gears. I like manual transmissions, but I also like that Tesla. I think it's fun as fuck.

Again, I get it, you know. And then and I also get the people who say, hey, if you're sitting in traffic on the 405 and the car can drive itself, let it do it.

Yeah. You know, oh, it's way more stressful. I'm also I'm also out there on a motorcycle, man, and I see I'm scared of Tesla people. That's a point. They trust the automatic drive, looking at them, not paying attention, right? Yeah. And I'm out there like I'm their target. Yeah. I don't know that that Tesla. I don't know that your car sees me on a bike.

That's a good point. My friend was saying that he answers his emails when he's driving. I'm like, oh my God. No, you don't. Yeah he does. He goes, yeah I do.

I can answer my emails.

I go, why on the highway, people do things behind the wheel that would scare the hell out of you. Like, now that's so sweet. Trusting the freeways are empty now.

People are driving so fast and it's people who don't know how to drive fast. I don't mind someone driving fast, who knows how to drive fast or they have a car. I mind it. Maybe go faster. I know what you mean.

Yeah, but you got I mean, man, I'm doing eighty and getting just rocketing past me like I know you're doing a hundred.

Yeah, I know you're doing a book and you drive a car going 80 miles an hour, an hour on Michigan Highway during lockdown. Yeah.

What was he driving a hellcat again to a sixteen dodge probably. Yeah. Hellcat. Wow.

180. Yeah.

They caught him and how they got on that helicopter. Yeah. They saw him and then he sees one saw him and then they, they waited for him to set it up.

A behavior but not a big difference. Hellcat challenger. That's what it is. You don't know shit about cars. Son of a bitch.

Yeah but but there are people and there are a lot of cops out now, you know. Yeah. There's a lot of cops.

Right. And tickets. Good. You know, you don't want one hundred mile an hour ticket.

How about a hundred eighty. What are they doing. They must just put you in jail. Think 180 here day. I think in California I think you go to jail at one hundred or more. Really they can, they don't necessarily do but one eighty. There's a real good argument to be locked up. He said my fault.

I was speeding with another vehicle. Sorry, according to the officer was my fault.

Sorry. Well, sounds good. The other point that there wasn't in Detroit. Not in Detroit, but sorry, ain't going to work, that had to be somewhere in outer Michigan somewhere. That sorry, sorry, getting you off the hook in Detroit, Michigan, is a good example of how things can change.

Right, because Michigan used to be Detroit used to be the most profitable or the richest state or the richest city, rather. Let me get this out. Right. Detroit used to be the richest zip. It used to be a hugely rich city back when they were making cars there. I mean, they still make some cars there.

But back when it was the place, don't don't even get me started on the American car industry. But Crazing, you talk about a group that took it for granted and didn't adapt to the times. Yeah. And literally sat there and watched the Japanese take all of their business. They they watched the Camry become a Chevy, you know, used to be just like him by Chevy versus Ford. Right. Do you remember your family? You had Chevy fail, Ford Chambless?

It was, but there was no talk of and they they they had that market and they just sat back and let built crappy cars and blah, blah, blah, and let that whole thing go so ridiculous.

Well, things get weird when you ship stuff overseas to or ship jobs overseas. Things are cheaper to make in Mexico or they're cheaper to make in China.

Yeah, that that exists. But but as far as the cars, they I mean, American cars in the 70s and 80s were garbage. Garbage. They were. And that was a choice that the factory could have made. They could have made better cars and they just chose not to.

Do you think people are going to be more open to the idea of American made businesses supporting American made businesses after realizing how difficult it is to get things from China during a pandemic and how we're so reliant on China for medicine and for electronics and so many different things, one would hope?

I think that there's two ways to do it. Either we do that support American businesses or. And this is a worldwide thing, open up to the idea of globalization, where thing where it's a global economy, not an individual nation economy, you know, then who runs it? China.

No. The fuck out of here. America, no. Well, the same people who run it now, right? The bankers. Right. I mean, they don't give a shit and don't give a shit about where the money comes from.

They're running the money worldwide. You know, they're in in contact with each other, you know, I mean that and I'm not even talking from a conspiracy theory thing. Like that's just how it works. Money flows throughout the world. And so if you're financing. I don't know if you're financing Apple Computer and Apple Computer is building their computers in China, if you're the bank on Wall Street, you don't care. You care about Apple paying their stock dividends or paying their bills, you know what I mean?

So so the bankers who run this, who are behind it, they don't give a shit. Right. They just want to make sure it stays profitable. Right.

They're willing to sacrifice that for some ideal of it's good to buy American.

Right. Right. But if you can show some if you can show way to profitably make it American, you'd have to get people from America to really find value in buying something that's America, because it would cost more like how much would it cost then?

We've done this before. How much would it cost to make an American phone?

Everything everything made over here, is that even possible? I don't think so. I don't think so.

Yeah. I think it has to come down to those very materials they're putting.

Isn't that crazy when you think about how many people here have phones, how many people are addicted to phones? We can't even make our own.

But we gave that up. But forever can't. We just can't we adjust on the only way to adjust.

If other countries bring up their standard of living to ours and their income level ours, then the price of labor becomes the same. Because that's the big variable, that's the big because you make so much value in things being American that you'll pay more for it the same way you pay more for labels. Right? Like you'll pay more for Nike than you do for some No-Name sneaker, but then you have to make it a better product.

Well, Nike is a really good product, but there's some sneakers that are not as well known that are also really good products.

So they'll cost like half as much. Yeah, because Nike has a lot of name brand value.

I don't know why I'm using the word Nike, but it could be anything. You could have Adidas. There's a lot of things that people will buy and they'll pay more for because it's a brand.

Yeah, branding makes a difference, but it's about the brand of American made you again make it better. This was a thing, right? When an American car brand is not necessarily better, it's there's a pride in owning Nike.

You've owned something that's got a great label. What about a pride in owning something that's made in America?

But you also have faith in the label. In other words, when you buy a Nike shoe, that's true. You have faith that this is a good shoe. It's a quality shoe, right? Yeah. So if if there was a time when made in America meant it was better, where the cars are a perfect example. So you automatically bought it. So now you have to once again build that in and it takes a long time. This is another thing about American economy versus world, right?

American economy. They're based on the profits in the next quarter. You know, whereas like Toyota was making plans in the 70s to run the America the world car market in the 90s, like they plan long term, you have to look at it like that. Right. Right, right. That it's not just a matter of quarterly dividends. You have to look at what are we doing with this company?

And it has to constantly make more money every year. It has to make more money in the last. That's how you know it's doing well. Yeah. And you have stockholders that you have to you know, you're you have to listen to them and you adapt and try to make a better product. I mean, you look at like Windows, right? Like we're on windows, whatever. We're not still on Windows one. Yeah. Because they were like, oh, this works better.

Oh, this didn't work. We got to change that. Oh, this works better. And you keep adapting and changing the product or same thing. Now sometimes, you know, like with the Apple, with iPhones, it's like sometimes look that phone, you just change it for the sake of changing it. Like there's a reason there was no iPhone nine. Right. They were like, all right, we can't fool them anymore.

We got to know they made it to iPhone ten because it was the tenth year is that is the 10 year anniversary of the iPhone in twenty seventeen. It started out in 2007. So twenty seventeen is iPhone X to mark the 10 year anniversary. That's why there's no iPhone nine, but there is an iPhone nine now you see.

So yeah. So you need to, I think you can do it, but you have to build a value into making it a memory. And part of that is marketing. Right, like the F 150. There's nothing more American than a Ford pickup truck. But it's made in Mexico, is it really? Yeah. There's f 150 plants in Mexico. They're not all made here in the U.S. just like BMW SUVs are made in South Carolina. Yeah, isn't that weird, Honda's Ohio made in Ohio, so, you know, this is what I'm talking about, about the global part, they figured out, well, it was cheaper to make because America buys the most SUVs.

So BMW said, well, let's just make them there and we don't have to ship them across an ocean.

Right. Makes sense. And then the same thing with NSX.

Like, listen, it's going to be a bunch of wacky Americans by this fucking ridiculous super horsepower, four wheel drive Honda.

Right. So you make it there. Now, when you talk about that value, there are some things like like Ferrari, you know, like it's a Ferrari. So it has a value to it. And the fact that it's Italian adds to the value of it, right? Yeah, yeah. When you talk about adding value like some Italian like which is like, well, yeah, that's even though a lot of times the quality was like, you know, falling off or whatever, but it was just the fact that it's Italian.

So yes, we could do that. But I don't know that that anybody will.

Yeah, it was designed by artisans. That's the idea. I mean, if you go a buddy of mine went to a Lamborghini factory, he said, first of all, he goes they stop working for like two or three hours and they just eat pasta and take naps. Yeah. And he's like, it takes forever to make a car.

Yeah. But they do it all by hand. Yeah. You know, and there really is an art to it.

Oh yeah. Yeah. We don't, I mean we don't make bad cars anymore. The cars we make now are getting a lot better than they used to be like, like especially SUVs like the new Lincoln Navigator is amazing. I love that. And there's a new Escalade that they're going to release looking to be amazing, fucking incredible, which they had to do because a new navigator was so.

And then they have the new mid engine Corvette, which is a monster. I mean, that's an incredible platform that they're operating on, people that drive it. And it's like leaps and bounds better than any Corvette that's ever existed before. And then we have great cameras. There's a lot of shit they make now. That's good. The new Mustangs are amazing.

There are a lot of great American cars. The problem is they let their reputations slack so much so long that if you talk to a new car like a first time car buyer and ask them what they want, they're not going to name an American car.

They want a Mercedes or a Porsche. Right. Or they want or, you know, a Toyota or a Honda or something like that. Something super reliable. You know, people would ask me what to buy and cars and I'd always tell them, get a Honda because it's just going to run forever. It ain't going to break Toyota. Same thing. Toyota so saying, you know, but don't get one of those. And I wish I could say, get it, get a Chevy.

And I'm sure there is one, but I don't know what it is.

I don't know what to do if I've owned two of those original non-sexist. I had one. I got rid of it. I got a second one to get rid of that. I never had a problem. Never. Not a single problem in their sports cars, mid engine, sports car, like a race car.

No problems last forever. Yeah, and and they were all built like that. And it's just a level of quality. But yeah, you're right. Listen, the cameras that the navigators, the Mustangs, there's so many cars like that that are great American cars. But people again, you hurt your reputation for so long, so many bad ones for so long that people man, I had a seventy eight Corvette.

It's the worst car I ever owned. It was man Joe.

And when it would break it wasn't mild like it wasn't, you know. No, it was like, oh yeah. Your intake manifold cracked like, you know, the intake manifold, like a major metal piece at the end like yeah. That just cracked. Yeah. Your radiator, the bottom of it just rust it out to nothing. Just you know, like it was. Oh man. That and what ultimately killed him because the wheel came loose.

The wheels came off the car while driving, did some brake off of the suspension? Yeah, yeah. The the what is the controller, the control arm behind the brake. Yeah. Oh, God, it just. Yeah. So it lost the wheel. Yeah. They made some dogshit cars. They were. Because that was when they were trying to figure out emissions and they were trying to figure mileage mileage. And you had like you had a small block V8 engine.

I remember the car only made one hundred and eighty horsepower like, like I have motorcycles that make that much horsepower and this was a Corvette. How slow would it be? Oh, Joe, it was a horrible thing.

You know, she's a hundred and eighty horsepower for a Corvette.

Sounds so crazy because now the bass models like four six.

But at that time, you know, in 1978, that's when they had the Mustang two oh oh.

Remember that. What a hunk of shit that was.

Camaro was a full size Camaro that came with like a six cylinder engine that made like ninety eight horse.

And it was like a Chevelle. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It was this big steel car with a little. Yeah it was American cars were you know, I love my country. Those cars were garbage that.

Look at that, that was a Mustang you might imagine going from.

Go take that, get a good look at it. Right, get it. Now I want you to say 69 Mach one down. You Google a sixty nine Mach one Mustang and then you realize how fucking far the mighty won that right there.

Right there. Boom, son. I mean what the fuck. Well is that the same thing that is that monstrous, beautiful, sexy, ferocious vehicle.

You took the company away from the engineers and you gave it to the bean counters and the board members who didn't you know, who didn't want to drive in like you saw Ford versus Ferrari. I haven't seen it. Oh, you haven't seen it. It's great movie. Great movie.

That movie looks like a bad company song.

It was right. But that car, brother, there's a scene in the movie where the the heads, like the CEO or whatever a Ford goes to see Carroll, Shelby and Carroll. Shelby puts him in one of his cars and says, take him out and they scare the shit out of it.

Like they show the car, like it's so fast and powerful that the guy's, like, build one, you know? But these are people like this is what happens when you have a car company run by people who don't know shit about cars. You get a Mustang to God damn or you get a hundred and eighty horsepower Corvette that wheels fall off.

Just imagine, though, going from that 69 Mach one to that that Mustang, too, in just ten years.

Right, Uzman? That's crazy. People that were the men for the mock one had to be like, what the fuck?

Imagine if that happened to us from 2010 to 2020.

You'd be like, what the fuck happened? 2010 was not that long ago.

Listen, I go to the 80s when remember, they tried the front wheel drive cars like this. You know, I had a front wheel drive car, all of those cars, those me and my brother laugh about those cars because they were such crap. The citation had a vertical radio for a reason. And there was an old Mobil, remember? I don't know if you remember this, the four, six, eight engine, that was an eight cylinder engine that would cut off cylinders, like cut down the six on the highway and you're cruising.

Yes. And of course, that it didn't work.

The theory was great that, yeah, you're vate when you need it in a force, but but they still have that kind of set up on some cattle.

Yeah. But now they have computers and electronic fuel controls and it actually works back. It was like no, that shit don't work ever.

A business that's fallen so hard, so fast as the United States automobile business from like the 60s to the 70s.

Steel, steel. US Steel. Yeah, yeah.

They started I think Japan took over steel, uh, because I knew people in Pittsburgh when steel went, Pittsburgh went almost bankrupt. Pittsburgh had the same fall as Detroit. But they bounce back.

But yeah. That that whole thing that they used to build cameras and fire birds right here in Van Nuys did really? Yeah, in the 80s when I moved here to get the Camaro, Firebird plant was in Van Nuys to built some dogshit cars.

Yeah, it was nineteen eighties Firebirds. What in the fuck are you, a chicken man.

You get that big sticker on. Remember that. Yeah but there's some that they did good.

That's one that you don't see enough resto mods done correctly.

Feels like if someone took like a Burt Reynolds style TransAm and did it correctly and redid it, you just don't see much like look at that.

Yeah. If someone just did that. Right.

But those were the cars. They had a big engine. Yeah. That made no power, nothing to know. It was just a big as fuck big engine that didn't make any power.

But God it looked like it did look like a great car. It looks be fabulous roberte tops.

Remember those. Do you remember those. You had to take your tops off.

And it's funny though, that was the only car that had a painting on every hood like that.

Yeah. Yeah, the TransAm was the one you had to get the thunder chicken. Yeah, there's one in that show that I watch Ozark. You watch it, Jamie. That guy's got a pretty bad ass one.

See if you can find that Google Trans Am from Ozark stumble across a spoiler.

I bet. Oh, you think so? Oh, no, I have it. Oh, I haven't. Yeah.

You haven't seen the TransAm yet. Just just. Right. TransAm and dude from Ozark. Wasn't Nightrider wasn't that a TransAm or a Firebird. Hmm.

I think that was it was one of them dog shit. That was an 80s Firebird. Yeah. No that's on it.

It's a it's an older one. Yeah, exactly. Let me see what that looks like. Yeah. That's pretty fucking nice. Yeah. He's got a pretty fucking nice one. That's rare though that you see like a rest.

O'Malia really done up TransAm. Yeah, yeah, the 80s, Nightrider was an 80s TransAm, yeah, talk to him, right? To him, that was a dumb show. Yeah, people were just different back then. It's like if you ever wanted to prove to people being rapidly watch 80s TV shows like Drama shows, the 80s was a special time and so many things.

There's so many things. 80S, Miami Vice. Yes, right. There's so many things. 80S that were just 80s.

Yeah. So yeah. But Amethi Miami Vice man didn't he. What do you have a Lamborghini or something like that. Or Ferrari Testarossa.

Yeah. Testarossa that white one. Remember the white Testarossa with the things on the side, the Crockett and Tubbs.

So what happened the other dude. I don't know. Yeah. The pastel suits. Yes. With those socks they had no socks on.

Always look at them. Loafers, no socks. Not a bad show.

That was a Ferrari. That car. Yeah, that was a different Ferrari.

I think that was what he had earlier. He had that one and then he got the Testarossa.

That's weird being the other guy, though, right? Like Don Johnson, entire career got to suck and then you're the what will we watch?

And it was some. Oh, Transformers was on right and you know, in the first scene in the Transformers, when they're in the desert and it's like there's like five military guys, you know, and the first three to get killed, I was like, that'd be one of those guys. And then you watch Tyrese Gibson and the other guy go on to this billion dollar franchise and like, you got killed in the first scene.

Like, why didn't I live there? By the way, I've been that guy in a few movies.

How many movies you've done? I haven't done I haven't done many. I've done maybe five. I am very strict in my casting. I can be a security guard or a bouncer, played a security guard as a bouncer.

And when you think about those kind of shows like Fast and Furious, like those movies, how the fuck did that happen?

How do those movies make that much money? It's a simple formula, but how many people are buying that simple formula over and over again? How is that happening?

Because it's almost like a cartoon, right? Listen, I don't first Fast and Furious came out. It's like, OK, we got cars, we got women, we got guns. Do we even need a script? Do we even need a script? Just turn it loose. And that's what every movie. Right. That's like. Yeah, just make the cars bigger, make the guns bigger, make the guys bigger. Drifting, right. Yeah.

Women are hotter. Yeah.

If you watch the Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift, apparently every schoolgirl in Japan is wearing a Catholic school mini skirt at all times.

Tokyo drift it, but it works. It's a simple formula. Look at the amount of money mayhaps oh my God.

One billion. Five hundred and eighteen million seven hundred twenty two thousand seven hundred ninety four. Yes. What in the first world is way better this year.

Oh my God, that's so better.

That's one movie that's fast. The Furious seven one movie made that much money. But look at I mean two of their movies made over a billion dollars.

Yeah. Why wouldn't they though? It's a cartoon formula that works. That's amazing. It's a formula that works.

It's a Talash almost six billion worldwide flashy beauty gets stuff like that, you know. Yeah. How could it not work? How could it not work.

Yeah. Yeah, well, all right. And if I tell you I'm the head writer, if I tell you I wrote the Fast and Furious, I how are you going to prove me wrong? Listen, man, I love muscle cars and I hate those movies. So what does that say?

But that was part of the first. The first movies were muscle versus. Yeah. Tooner. Right. They even got you. They got you in the beginning. You got the muscle car. You know what I'm saying is. But they got the muscle car guy. Yeah. They got the muscle cars but they didn't get me. I was like, what is this movie. No, not you, but you know what I'm saying. But they got the muscle car fans in the beginning.

They don't have that anymore. Vin Diesel drove the muscle car all the time.

Right? He had that Dodge or Chrysler, whatever it was, Dodge.

Yeah, he had he had that through, like the first three movies.

Right. Do you know so much about these men?

Oh, I love watching old man Joe. I love bad movies.

Man, biker, boys, biker. Thank you. Biker Boyz has to be one of the.

I just turn someone on to it. It's Larry, it's Laurence Fishburne in a motorcycle drag racing movie.

Oh. When was this made. And it's not just him. Orlando three twenty three. Orlando Jones is in.

That's Orlando Jones right there. That is a live look at Lawrence. Are you kidding. Laurence Fishburne. Kid Rock. This is Skid Row. Right. Go right. Biker gang. What is this. Yeah. Oh what is this. It's a world fueled by power. Oh my God. I might just find my new favorite movie. Holy shit, this looks bad. That's all this Kid Rock with a doll like rock color.

It's a life driven by respect.

Oh, my God. Wait a minute.

That's a black dude with a motorcycle vest on from my get a black dude in the Hells Angels.

But they have the same kind of motorcycle vest is like Hells Angels, which is so silly. Yeah. Larenz Tate right there. My God, this looks bad. Oh, ready. Set, go.

Yeah, man, I love I love bad car and bike movies. I love those and the other bad movies.

I like the bad ass chick like she kicks. Everyone's at it.

It's like a bad movie but she's bad ass going through it whenever you know, whenever they're like they hit me.

What you may also like Charlie's Angels, right. I mean also like I want to see it. I want to see it. Yes. You may also like you. Damn right I'm going. Oh, my God. Yeah, biker boys and talk fight talk's another one.

Talking Biker boys were the same movie. They tried to do a Fast and Furious on motorcycles. Now talk stars Ice Cube and its like little white biker group in a black biker group and ice cubes in it and Dane is in it.

Dane Cook Senate it and just.

Yeah, they were horrible movies but they were comic.

And as a motorcycle rider they're even better because it's even worse.

I mean because you could point out with horses and it was so much fun, drag racing, they look at them, they go, wow, that looks this isn't even the trailer that's tore from the movie.

Yeah. Oh, look at him. Drive that bike. It's that was actually made Leno. That's one of the powered motorcycle. That's but it doesn't slide like that. But what the hell.

What's that dude who is in 30 days of nights maybe. I don't know. Yeah, he's a bad guy in a lot of movies, he's really good as a bad guy. Yeah. Come on, man, how do you not watch this look, easy comes no way I watch this, I think shooting at each other. Yes, of course not. Shooting at each other in downtown L.A..

Alonzo, you get to see the bullet, dude. Assertive in three hours.

Believe it on man. Listen quickly this time. Fly by everybody who's out there. I got to tell you, next Thursday, May 7th, I'm at the doing a virtual comedy show, OK, at the Nowhere Comedy Club Dotcom. We were going to talk about this. We're talking I'm telling you talked about it earlier. Yeah. Please check it out, though. Nowhere Comedy Club, dot com. It's what we're talking about. I'm doing comedy from my living room as if there's a crowd and you guys will be the virtual crowd and we'll have it.

We'll have a great time with that joke.

I love this man. Thank you. My pleasure, brother. Tell me I'm negative. I'm sorry about that here isn't it. This was fantastic back. You're going to watch Biker Boys because it's in your head now. I think I will. It's in your head and going to have to talk but no is going to have to see biker boys and you're going to have to see Laurence Fishburne drag racing a motorcycle on a farm on a dirt road. Because that's where you drag race.

Right?

Farm manager. OK, yeah. I don't want to know anymore. What's your Instagram? Tell everybody everything ramsell funny. Everything else is at Alonzo Bodden. So it's only Instagram and so far only Instagram and notebook's. We didn't even get to talk about that. We're both in. Oh yeah. When someone says we love so many people love that to see what we did at the beginning. Yeah.

You can see how he said oh man, we were bad, we were bad but I was a biker boys bad. I'm going, I'm going to watch it. How did I not get it. When you watch the movie you're going to be. How's Alonzo not in this movie.

I love you, brother man. Thank you.

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