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He hosts a radio show on Sirius with my other friend, Fortune Fenster. He's the shit and he's he's an author as well. And he's got a new book out. It's called You're Doing Great and Other Reasons to Stay Alive.

His name is Tom Papà Government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience Train my day job and podcast my night all day. OK, so what were you just saying, Jamie?

We have eles stay at home order will likely remain in place for the next three months unless there is a, quote, dramatic change to the virus and tools at hand.

Officials say how are people supposed to feed themselves? Like, really realistically, how do they expect this to work?

You go out to work and then you skitter back home.

That's not what they're saying. That's not what stay at home means. Stay at home means you don't go to work.

Yeah, but at the same time, they're opening up businesses.

They're opening up very few businesses and you have to get curbside for retail.

I heard our governor in the state of California say that 70 percent of businesses are open now. Well, if that's the case, even if that was the case, let's say 30 percent of people are out of work. That's catastrophic. Yeah, and I don't think it's true. I don't think 70 percent of the places are open.

That's what he said, 70 percent of them, even if they're open, they're not open at 100 percent capacity or they're probably working from home like offices.

He's probably counting offices and those people are still working and getting paid. But they were doing it from home.

So this is just L.A., L.A. County, L.A. So that means like Comedy Store has no chance for you, I believe is for the county to county.

This is the same fuckup who thought it would be a good idea to have people rat on people for money?

Technically, that's not coming from the mayor. This is coming from health. Someone in the health department talking at a supervisor meeting or something.

So it was a suggestion. It wasn't a natural order, but it's coming out right. So it's not an official order, nonofficial or.

But L.A. is the densest county in America. How about that? A really? Yeah, more than New York. Yeah, as a county. Hmmm, that seems odd, doesn't it? It does seem odd, it seems like cities, New York City denser. Yeah, it's just New York City.

The thing about New York City that makes it great is that everybody sort of mingles together. Everybody gets on the subway together, but he walks together on the streets. Yeah. It's also the reason why everybody's getting sick together.

Yeah, but I saw an interesting thing that the highest this guy wrote an editorial about the reasons for New York and he lives in New York. And he said Staten Island had the highest number.

This was written before. I think Brooklyn is now edged it. But at the time that Staten Island was the highest and it was the least densely populated and Manhattan, which is the most densely populated, had the fewer number of cases.

Mm hmm. Well, I wonder if that is similar to, you know, one of their finding with people that worked together or in prisons. And particularly they're finding that there was this one person who did a study on 98 percent of the people were asymptomatic.

Really? Yeah, 98 percent. Yeah, 98 percent is it's nuts. That's right. That's weird.

So I was bringing it up with a friend of mine and I was like, what do you think this is? Because my friend Carl Kolinsky and he was like, I think it's because their immune systems are strong because they're just interacting with each other constantly.

Mm hmm.

And I was like, oh, that kind of makes sense because I was thinking, if you're in prison, you're probably stressed out and you're getting bad food.

Yeah. And horrible sleep. And yet your immune system strong. Right, because you're just being bombarded all the time.

Yeah.

You're being bombarded all the time by stinky, dirty people where you live in an isolated fancy place right there. Right.

And you're in a wonderful community in Brentwood. You don't see your neighbors ever. You can't go anywhere. Very fragile. Yeah.

You go to the store, you come home. And now our immune systems are I would imagine this is just pure speculation, but I would imagine that your immune system is like all the other systems of your body, that when it gets tested, it gets stronger, right?

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So your immune system right now is being put into a state of atrophy because it's not being exposed to anything new.

It's it's a it's in a lounge chair. It's just some glass hasn't worked in years. It's got soft legs cramp up when it goes upstairs and all of a sudden it gets cold to go to work.

And it's just like, dude, why wouldn't you imagine that's the case?

It seems like, you know. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine.

We're setting ourselves up to get really sick if something comes down the pike. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that was what was very strange in the beginning of all this, when people were saying that you, you know, people just spout out, you can't do anything for your immune system. You can't make it stronger.

That's nonsense. And it was like, really? Who is saying that? Just online, I did a thing with a really just like people spouting off. Yeah, it's crazy. It's online, it's written. And when you see things, you're like, wow, this must make sense. It's real. I know it's got 150000 likes. This has got to be real. You know, it's just Bob said it.

It's just a matter of a guy like walking down the street. It's the same thing.

I don't understand how we could take three more months off. Yeah, we don't.

Well, it depends what they mean by I mean, you know, when you talk when you hear the governor talk, it's you know, he's moving it along and he's in these phases and and pushing it through. And it's it doesn't I don't I don't think it's going to be as I'm staring at the realization of I don't know, I don't think it's going to be like what it was in April and May.

Why not July?

Because I because I want to go outside. I think so, too. L.A. County breaches beaches reopened May 13th.

Yes, but you can't hang out on your lounge. You can't hang out on your towel. You got to go and make that larger.

Please go back to where it was. You can do water sports, no lying or sitting on the sand. Right. Carnaby's coolers or picnicking.

Right. You can you can be active. You can go swimming.

Lots are closed. So where they expect you to park, they don't want you to go. Individual family activities and exercise only. Hmm. Yeah.

So you can go down, you can swim, you could ride the waves and then get out of the ocean and get back in your car.

There's no no thinking. You can't picnic a biking. No biking. No. Why can't you bike.

I have to say no volleyball that you see that round circle with a slash through it with the giant canopies.

Those should be banned all year. Have you ever been next to one of those? These is disgusting. Oh, my. Why why are you allowed to set up camp building a house?

You're basically saying this is my area of the sand. Yeah. Like blocking everyone's view. Yeah. You can get a fucking towel. That's what you get. You get a towel and that's it. It's how it's always been. I know these. Will come down there. They've got coolers and tables higher than this machine, they have fences now. People are setting up beach fences. Yeah, they're selling beach fences. You set it up, you stick it in the sand and you mark off your area.

Oh, my God. We're creating dorks.

Oh, this is all before social. These are just people making camps there and bringing 25 people.

So reopens tomorrow is what they're saying. Yeah, baby. Yeah, well, that's good. That's that's a start. I think we need to move in the other direction. I think we need to quarantine people that are at risk.

That's what I think really. And let people make their own choices. Mm hmm.

You know, this the idea that these hospitals are going to be overwhelmed is not true. It's not correct. Luckily, we're very fortunate. Yeah. And the idea that we're going to run out of ventilators, that's not true either. Right. So and then also, if that doctor that worked with Michael Yo, I was telling you this before we started, the doctor said that if you put him on a ventilator, he would die because his body would stop trying to breathe and it would just sort of give up.

And this is what Michael Yose doctor told him. And he he survived. And then we're finding out that a lot of people they put on ventilators don't make it. And I wonder if what he's saying applies to those people.

Right. Was he has a special case of why they didn't want him on the ventilator?

No. His doctors, just a wise guy, just smart and just figured it out.

Well, I mean, look, I mean, it's a weird thing to think, you know what? What if we hadn't done all of these measures? Would the hospitals because the hospitals for a beat were crazy?

Depends on where you are. Yeah. Like if you were in Queens. Yeah. It was saying, yeah, this place is where it's horrible. Yeah.

So like, if you if we hadn't done these things, what would the result have been?

It's a good question. You know, I mean, would we have achieved herd immunity, you know, or would we have achieved it quicker.

Yeah, that's the you know, community communities like 60 percent of the people have been infected. And right then the virus sort of dies off. Right.

You know, when you look at the Spanish flu, when you look at the history of that and, you know, the places that did something fared much better than the places that didn't. The end result was, you know, all these people died. It goes through the same amount of time. But just you have a lot more fatalities, you know, and it's this it's always been this kind of calculation. Like, you know, people are doing the math.

I feel like people are doing the math and they're saying, OK, X amount will die, but we've got to get back to work and get these people to work. And they're trying to figure out that equation is the suffering of the people that are probably going to survive, even if they get it. Is that suffering going to be greater than the suffering for families who lose people?

Right. So that's that balancing act. And you can see where people are coming out on it at certain places are like, no, it's just time to go. And yeah, there'll be casualties, but we'll deal. And other people are saying save lives at all cost.

Well, if we say save lives at all costs, we should all stop driving. I don't want to do that, too, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. Yeah, I mean, there's things that are risk.

This is one of those things. That's a it's a uniquely human problem because there's no real answer for it, because most human problems.

Yeah, I was. Hmm. Yeah.

You know, I mean. Yeah, yeah. No. Right.

You don't you kind of we are all isolated on this one thing and then you stop thinking, well we live at risk all day long. Yeah.

You know, well not only do we live at risk all day long, but we make decisions that could put ourselves at risk and we were allowed to make those decisions.

But with this, you're not allowed to make those decisions and the ideas will because you put others at risk. OK, but who and why?

And do you know when do we decide, like, how long can we go on with this? If we don't have any new tools in July? What is going to be the difference between July and now?

Well, that's what Foushee saying about the fall. He's saying that, you know, there's going to be a resurgence of it in the fall. You're going to have more because it's the flu season.

People are going to and you need to be prepared to with testing and stuff to to deal with this in the right way.

Or else you're back to what we were dealing with in April and May. And that you've got to be you've got to learn from it and be prepared.

And it's the testing, the testing, the testing, you know, just seems, you know, Ellen just opened up his factory in California, the Tesla factory, and said, come, come arrest me.

Right. Basically saying what you're doing is a violation of civil liberties. You're telling people that they're not allowed to go to work.

And this is yeah. I'm a fascist state.

Mhm. See how that goes. Yeah. I kind of feel like they, they're seeing like they know that they'll save lives this way but they, I mean look if you're the if you're the governor.

Right. What do you do, what do you do. I mean you want to, you want people to be safe but you also are looking at the books every day and realizing that your state is in need of a trillion dollars to survive like it would be if I mean, if that's it, it might be a lot more than that.

Yeah. Like, you know, that's just based on what we know is active in the businesses that are open right now. Right. I mean, how many like a friend of mine was saying how many people are unemployed right now and they don't even know it yet. Businesses just never going to make it. And then also there's going to be less people with money. So it's going to be less spending. So these companies need some sort of a resurgence.

So if you're the governor, you're not out there just to control people and take away their civil liberties because you're screwing yourself on the other end, you know, with people being broke and the economy falling apart.

So you're in this in this spot.

I do not envy it. It's also when you start telling people what to do, it's very difficult to stop once you have the ability to tell people what to do. It's very difficult to just turn that off and go, go ahead, go back to normal, do whatever you want to do now. Right? Right. Which is what we used to do just four months ago. Right. And do whatever you want to do. Yeah, but now all of a sudden, do you see that goofy fucking list that they put out of all the stuff you can and can't do?

No, it's even goofier than the the list that we saw about the beaches. Oh, really.

Fucking preposterousness really long list that California put out of things you're allowed to do outside.

You can meditate, you can do soft martial arts. You can watch the sunrise or the sunset.

I mean, it's so asinine. It's just so yeah.

It's you're getting people in this case, you're getting people that have no business telling people what to do. And all of a sudden they've been assigned this ability to tell people what they're allowed to do and not to do. Right. And so they make this gigantic, stupid fucking list.

And it's really offensive. It is a weird thing.

It's fucking dumb down. Crenshaw, put something up on his Instagram, see if you can find it where he he shows what you can and can't do in this one particular list and how preposterous it is.

There's there's a bunch of lists that different states are putting up and different states have different approaches. One thing that I do like about the fact that we are the United States of America is a different states do have different approaches and we get to watch how that experiment plays out.

It is an experiment. It's not like I'm just like, so how's Georgia? Everyone sitting here, like, what's going on down there?

Permitted, walking, running, exercising, surfing, fishing, no chairs, prohibited sunbathing, sitting in chairs, group sports groups of people swimming. And here's what he says for your daily dose of things that are stupid. Here you go. How many geniuses sat around and deliberated over those these particulars? OK, they can fish, but we don't want them getting any sun. Why they fish and no chairs because we are saving lives. High fives all around.

He's so right now. Yes. This is New Jersey. OK, NJ. That's New Jersey, right? Yeah. Yeah. Ocean County, New Jersey.

Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. Fuck off with that group.

So what do you think at this point? Let's just let it rip and I don't think you let it rip. I think education is. Imperative, I think, first of all, there has to be some education on how to strengthen your immune system, right? There are experts that understand that. I mean, I'm having Dr. Rhonda Patrick on tomorrow talk about this. I think that's great. Very important to talk about supplementation, to talk about hermetic effects of heat, shock proteins called shock proteins.

What we can do as far as mitigating, you know, the stresses that you get from not having enough sleep and meditation, all sorts of different things that we need to teach people how to strengthen your immune system to keep your body healthy.

I'm with you 100 percent. I'm I'm doing all that stuff, learning about it as I go through life. And I meditate. I take vitamins, I exercise, eat a lot of bread, eat a lot of bread. The spread is so much better. It's good.

It's better than the last. It might be the best one that I've ever had. Was it? I swear to God, the last one is perfect. I'm home. I just keep getting better. How do you get better at bread? You get better.

There's so many things that go into it every day. I don't understand how you get better at bread. I'm telling you it.

Well, I'm glad you're around, man. I'm eating bread right now.

But you're agreeing. But all that stuff is great. But that list you just said about how proteins. That's yeah. That is so much more complicated than no chairs at the beach, dummy.

Yes. Honestly, it is. When you talk to people just out there shopping, doing stuff, going to the beach, the guy who setting up his tent with his poles and he's got his thing, that guy is not going to know shit about my beach.

Friends don't spit in my area.

He's not going to know anything about his immune system or any of the protein. But you can with the herd, you've got to tell them no dummy fish, no chair.

Yes. Why can't you fucking sit down and fish? I mean, that's so crazy. Like when you when you cast out to the surf and you have bait, you sit down, you put your fucking your pole in a pole holder.

So it's hang in there and you sit back, you watch your line because there's going to be some jackass who's going to they're going to come up and say, sir, they said no chairs. I got my pole, I'm fishing, we're all fish.

And we all got up all fishing, but no chairs. Chairs are dangerous. If you stay put, it could come get you know, it's it's preposterous.

It is preposterous. But the other part of the United States of America and then we all get to make our own rules and see this. I mean, it's like the information flow is so confusing. Yeah. It's been so I mean, from the first time we heard about it in January, like, there's this thing I have been looking at my phone every day going, is that true? Is this right. Right. Is this true. Is that I've read it on no mask now.

I'm now I'm not a mask. Right. You know what I mean? Like even Foushee. I posted something on from 60 Minutes yesterday. I read that I saw that Foushee was saying you don't need to wear a mask. This was like that was early, right? That was early March. It's not that early, man. I know.

But that's when they were saying no mask because they didn't have masks. That's why I think so. Well, maybe. But he was saying you don't he's specifically you don't need a mask.

Yeah, but look, there's people out there where it's they're driving in their cars.

That's why I put it up. You fuck this is fucking dorks like, come on, man, who's in your car blowing germs in your face.

I know by yourself. And by the way, those things are not going to keep the air from coming in your mouth and it's in the air. If it's in the air, it's going to get in your mouth. It's going to keep you from spitting it out maybe right. And getting it on somebody. Maybe it'll stem the flow a little bit. And yeah, if you're out in public, particularly if you're going around a lot of people and you think you might have something, ask.

But I'm I'm at the supermarket wearing my mask, wearing this, just pull this up on my finger, bend it.

I go at the band also and everyone's a band, everyone's a bandit, everyone's robbing a bank. I can't wait for the first time someone robbed.

Something happened. Yeah, sure. It's really happened. Absolutely. I'm in there with this stupid ass mask. I'm it's hot. It fogs up my glasses. I'm itchy, my eyes are running. I'm like, I'm trying not to touch my face with all this stuff. This is not helping me. No.

Yeah, well, that was the thing Falchi said in the video that when you wear a mask, people start messing with their face.

Yes. Yeah.

No, I'm rubbing my eyeballs with I think we need to concentrate on people getting their immune system stronger.

And I think if the government has the time to put up these fucking stupid lists of not don't use a chair, make up a list of how important it is to take vitamin C, supplement your diet with vitamin C, supplement your diet with vitamin D. Yeah. You know, take elderberry. Yeah, take zinc. Take all sorts of things that are that have proven to be very good for your immune system. I know.

Why wouldn't you do it. Why wouldn't you do it. Anger, anger, frustration.

Instead you could just put it off till Jalloh and then it's going to magically be better.

It's not going to be better in July. It's still going to exist. Yeah.

The only think it's going to be different is going to be hot as fuck out. Maybe that's better. Maybe the virus can't survive when it's hot as fuck. And touched things, it'll go down, but then it's going to get cold and that's what happened in 1918, right? 1919 it was the it got came. The fall spike was much worse than the spring spike.

So, yeah, it came back and the numbers were much higher. Well, and then and that's what I keep trying to figure out. I'm reading all about the history of that. And it was a two year thing before it just, you know, went through the population and eventually died out. Mm hmm.

And I keep thinking, are we going to be different? Are we more advanced? Are we going to be able to change that story first?

All, it's a different disease. It's a very different disease. This is not the Spanish flu. The Spanish flu was way worse, right? It was way worse. It was killing everybody killed, particularly the young people and healthy people.

Very quickly, you want to kill Cliff?

What is some CBD? Very good for you. It doesn't even get you high. Nice fragrance. It's a mango flavor. It's delicious. Nice. Yeah, it's this is a different disease.

And it's also a disease where a significant number of people, in fact, more people than not, are asymptomatic. It's good, right? Yeah, 25 milligrams CBD. I'm tasting childhood.

That's the thing of CBD. Are you taking CBD at all. Mm hmm. You need to do I. Yeah. So good for information man. Just for everything. Oh yeah. Alleviates anxiety. A lot of anxiety comes from your body's got inflammation for whatever reason. CBD seems to alleviate anxiety and a significant amount of people with THC.

Ah without without. You don't need it. You don't need THC.

I like with that. I like both the benefits. The benefits will be the same with or without. Yeah sure. Yeah. It's great stuff. That's really good. It's tasty. Yeah.

That's a small amount of CBD, that's 25 milligrams. But I'm addicted to these things. I drink them all the time. All right. But I also take CBD, I use eye drops. I had those for a while.

CBD, M.D., I get that stuff and I put the, the tincture. Yeah. Yeah. They help me sleep.

Oh it's great. Yeah. It's really good for your body too.

It's just great for people with arthritis and stiff joints and things along the lines, you know. So that's what I wanted. That's what I want to get people into.

People recognising like, hey, yeah, here's a time where you can understand that it's important to have a healthy body. And this is why, because, you know, you look at who this is hitting, the people that are dying. Yeah, we went over it yesterday. Significant increase in in likelihood of death.

When you're older, older or obese or diabetic, obese is huge in New York. That's the number one thing. Is it really the number one thing led to mortality?

Wow. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

You see, like, I now imagine being fat as fuck and you're like, God damn, I wish I had a little warning. I'd like to get healthy. But all of a sudden I know out of nowhere. Yeah right. No where can kill you.

Before this was tough going upstairs I just had to buy bigger pants. I just felt shitty about myself when I looked at it. Yeah. Yeah. It's avoided mirrors now with everything being threatened. Yeah.

Literally, yeah. No people are dying you know. You got to be strong. Yeah.

I mean it's just, it's terrible for the people that lost people. It's terrible for people who die. I am with you on all this stuff, but I just do not think this is the way to handle it. I think quarantining the people that are at risk is a far better option. Far smarter option. Yeah. You know, yeah.

The testing, if you have older people in your family, they stay in their place. You don't go see them until we get, you know, the vaccine or get through it.

Now that I mean, there are numbers.

I mean, if we're just going by the science and going by the hard numbers, there's a majority of the workforce could probably go out and work. The majority. Vast majority. Yeah. And, you know, there should be some sort of a waiver for people who can't or don't want to or have anxiety about me. Yeah, OK. Yeah. You know, have but I think most people want to go back to work.

I know I got an offer to go to shows in a club and a couple of weeks. Addison Improvs opened back up. Mm. Apparently they're opening back up this weekend. Texas doesn't give a fuck.

I love it. Would you perform to a club. I would book it, yeah. I want to do it. I don't know what I'm going to do man. I mean if July is legit, if that's really when we go back, that's too many months, so many months do not do stand up.

I know I start feeling a little weird. Well, also, your stand up is going to suck. OK, we're talking about how your cardiovascular system goes down. Yeah. How about your stand up system right now?

We'll get that back quick, though. We will. Yeah. Get there on Wednesday. By Friday, you'll have your sister.

You'll be good. You'll always be sore. My my throat is out of sight. Out of breath. You won't be thinking, right. Yeah. Your throat will be out of shape.

It's really true. It is true. I know. I know.

But it looks like if you want there's going to be clubs. But give me your taxes. You'll have to fly to them.

You gotta go Addison. Yeah. Yeah. I heard there's some other clubs around the country that are going to start opening up as well. How is the thing on the weekend your thing.

Oh, the UFC, yeah. It was interesting, yeah, very weird, it was a weird, huge arena, no one in it, no one in it, no one in a 15000 seat arena, maybe 10 people in the audience. Wow. Yeah. And it was all people that work for the UFC. Wow. Yeah. Like the US, the three commentators, sound people, few other folks like judges, I guess more than 10 people, because there was the judges and then the doctors and state officials, you know, medical officials and athletic commission people, OK.

And then they just come out and fight. And I hear them breathing and stuff. Oh, my God.

Well, first of all, the main event was spectacular, is an incredible fight. And it was a fucking war, but it was a war where, unlike any other war, there's no crowd. Yeah.

And you're hearing everything. You're hearing every smack of the flesh. Right?

Every deep breath. You hear them breathing in the nostrils with broken noses.

You can hear the there's the fluid, like as they're breathing in because their nose is broken, blood's pouring out of. It was crazy.

It was crazy. Jeez. They just play music over it or something more like crowd music.

No, no. That was part of the thing.

Was it cool. Was it cool. That sounds kind of like. Yeah, it was. I didn't hate it. Yes. I felt very fortunate, very fortunate to be there. One of the few people to be there live while this is going on. Right. That's how I felt. Yeah. The whole world. Yeah. While it was happening I was like, wow, I'm so lucky I get to be here.

That's how I felt. Yeah. You know, even if I have to fly to fucking Florida to do it.

Yeah. It's odd. So odd.

That is weird. What it was like going through the getting off the plane, taking bizarre weird thing where the driver's going to mouth covering on.

Right. He was pretty cool about it. I was cool and went to went to a restaurant. You did. Yeah.

Ed Morton's Steakhouse. All open you up. SAT down.

Norm ask the waiter had a mask on OK. They made them wear masks that me and Eddie Bravo sat down, had steak, a glass of wine. Yeah.

Jeez.

People at the next tables there was one or two other couples. There was an older couple. Not that we were a couple excuse me. It was one older couple and one younger couple. And then there was maybe a couple other people at the bar, so fairly empty.

So it also was like four o'clock in the afternoon. OK, right.

Are they limiting how many people can come in? Yeah, I think in a lot of places.

My friend Nick, he owns Gaetano's Restaurant in Vegas and he showed me a diagram of what they're allowed to do, that they used a ruler to measure out the floor. Right. And they put six feet in between tables. And so kind of like every other table, they put a black tablecloth over it so you can use that table. So people were separated. Right.

But I mean, how much of this is science? I mean, how much of this is nonsense?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know really.

But he knows that's the that's the I feel like every conversation we have about all of it, it always ends up with who knows. Right.

Because if you're if you've got all these tables blocked off. Right. The black tablecloth on you can't use that. There are some Cofan over there. You cool eating your spaghetti? Well, this guy's coffin twelve feet away from you, who knows what's going on in the kitchen?

Who knows what the busboy puts utensils out, right? Who knows?

But maybe I keep thinking as we're going around town doing our thing and being cautious would take all the like. Maybe we're playing the odds.

Maybe the odds are more in our favor. Yeah.

If we can kind of cut down on some of the door stuff, maybe our immune system is going to turn into a pile of goo mushy bitch ass immune system. They can't handle anything. Mamon, I really thought I had it.

I was so upset and I didn't. I know everybody thought that.

I think I had a sniffle back in January. Yeah, I know. And I was in Seattle. I was on the airplane. I came home. I guarantee you I'm immune. I got to be amused.

Everybody said that Tim Dillon was fucking Kevin. Dude, I was so sick. I was sicker than I've ever been in December telling you I got it. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And I told my wife and she's like those none of those tests are working anyway.

That's not true. You got gotta believe in working. I've been swabbed. I've been I saw you get the stuff that didn't look fun. Yeah, I got it. You rocked.

Yeah, it's it just tickles. It's like, oh, you were messed up for like fifteen minutes.

You were kind of like oh no. You look weird. No. Yeah you're exaggerating is you are you were playing pool. You were like hmm.

I felt weird. No I told you it irritates you for fifteen minutes but it's not that bad. I wasn't acting weird. If I, if it wasn't for the day I would have had to hold you as you cried.

I was weeping in the inside of my skin.

But I had it done again on Sunday though and was way easier. I think my right nostril is less sensitive to my left nostril, if that makes any sense.

Well, she said she was going in and basically touching your brain.

Yeah, well, but they did it again on my right nostril on Sunday and it was nothing interesting. Weird. I really think I have a sensitive nostril. Yeah, that's weird. Well, it's. And broken right fucking nose is useless. How many times, oh, nose broke it first when I was five, fell down a flight of stairs when I was five. How. Yeah, I've had broken noses ever since then.

No bullshit. Seriously, I've never broken my nose ever. Not once.

Jamie can help you.

We can feel a great tick tock of every great go viral with you broken anything.

The only thing I broke was a broken collarbone, a rib once when I was surfing and learning to surf and it went right into my gut. And then I broke the top of my foot, one of the bones on top of my foot.

Those are weird, right? Because I can't do anything. Yeah, I stop you from playing.

They just walk fucked up for a month and a half. Did you break your collarbone or just rib? Just a rib. Oh, just a rib.

Yeah, I know a dude who had a fake collarbone. He had a metal plate because his collarbone was so shattered in a motorcycle accident, they had to replace it. So he had to like a steel plate in place of his collarbone.

It's weird. Says Hurt like hell when it got cold out. Oh, really?

Yeah, because it's a metal piece in your fucking shoulder. That's not good collarbones. A weird one is a strange one. You know what's weird? I've never seen anybody break it in all the years I've seen fights.

Oh, that's interesting because it's pretty delicate. I would think. So someone I remember someone saying that, like if I was over and I don't just spokeswoman in the collarbone. Mm. Yeah. I don't need that. I don't think that's going to work.

I love how everybody walks around just with their one move in their head that goes south and look at panic in their face when it doesn't work. Right. Yeah.

I just grab them by the balls and pull dude.

I woke up this morning and I spent the first hour of my day watching Russian slop fighting videos of Quixey.

Did it might be the dumbest thing that's going on today. SLAPP fighting. Yeah, they just stand.

You know what it is? No. Oh, my God. Is that when the two guys it looks like they're going to arm wrestle, they just stand in front of each other and they let each other slap each other in the face.

And first of all, whoever goes first has such a monster advantage. Yeah, of course.

Because they they kill each other all the time. This is a huge these huge guys and they swing from the hip and the other guy doesn't even move and they open palm strike each other in the face. I spent an hour today.

Is this new or was an old Russian tradition?

I don't know. I don't know how long it's been around for. I think the first time I watched it was like about a year or two ago maybe. I don't remember.

But it was it was this morning.

It was the the fucking the slap you right in the head. It was the thing de jure.

It's funny what makes you when you wake up, think, you know, I'm going to look up like when you when you first pick up your device, because I remember there was this one video of a bunch of people standing around and this guy slapped this guy and Kayode him.

And all the people that were standing around were like, wow.

And they thought it was cool. I was like, that might be the only time where people think it's cool to be right next to someone who got violent brain trauma. Yeah.

And I was trying to find that video because it was such a strange video because there was I remember there's a table or not, but all the people were standing around and they were laughing and smiling while this guy went unconscious.

And I was like, that's so odd, right? No, no. Do they not know that this is a really bad some terrible things just happen.

And this guy, like, they think it's funny, they're laughing. Yeah. Yeah, no idea. Well, it's almost like it's not real because he is slapping some punch.

Like if he kicked him in the head and the same thing happened, he goes unconscious and falls about people. Oh my God. Oh my God. They'd be freaked out. Yeah.

But instead they slap each other and everyone's like, ha ha ha. Like what the fuck is that. No. Sitting on the beach.

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's one it was one of those weird things.

I'm like, how did this become OK.

Yeah well you just can just call brain trauma.

I mean you could see their head snap, you see the, their head wiggle and the brain sloshing around inside the noggin. Yeah.

Yeah. Well it's like in any fight, right. If you're watching a fight.

What is this one here Jamie. Oh, here goes one new one. This guy is six seven on the left. He's a former enemy fighter for Brazil.

It says, oh my God, we go, this is all Russia. They put powder on this guys, too. Oh, my goodness. He didn't even move. Yeah. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I've put a lot of fucking force. Similar to the size of golf, though.

This guy's powered by the power of his hands, has no to show the mark or they take that off the glass.

Here we go. They're miked up to here we go. Oh, my goodness. Oh, he took it. Oh, why?

Why do they understand why they're looking at the powder? I noticed why he was right. He slit his ear down.

Hold on a second. Back that up. There is rules. He is right here, backslid is here, it is ear down. It was a foul. He slid his oh, because you can't mess with the guy's ear.

What I say moved his head down when he was in mid swing when I was a young slapper.

One of the techniques would be get his ear and bring it down towards the chin.

Well, they have rules. OK, let me see the rules here. Oh, one more time. Well, they're not barbarians, so samarium again. Oh, oh, he's also doing this in a prison, by the way. Oh, of course they are. He looks fabulous. Oh, the audience spitting a tooth out. Is he, like, spitting something out? Oh, he got rocked. Oh, do you need a doctor? Do you need a doctor to ask him that?

So how do you ask someone. And they shake hands now recall shaking. He's growling.

So powdered sugar all over. Now he's coming in for another hit. This is God.

This is without him. We go stay at home. This is our boy. They are the swing is a big dude. Mm hmm.

Here comes one two. Oh, my goodness.

He got them in the ear. Is that all right? Oh, uh. Oh, one of the rule guys holding on to the desk for one of your life, is that legal? Look, there's no rules. A 30 minute video suffers. There's no it's 30 minutes long. He punched him. Really good. Really good. I think these are the people you have to you're going to get points for successful hits.

Oh, come on. Really? Said one verse two earlier.

I just think they're just doing this until one guy, this little chubby and I'm I'm betting on the Black Eyed Peas. He's taking these so much better.

The other guy seems like he's. Oh, my God, there's so much force of that.

Oh, my God, this was good. It was good to hear it was good smack you.

I love the knees shaking hands. I like it. I like it. Like what you did to me there. Look at the size of that guy's face.

Look swappable. He's swears. He knows he's going out. Look at him gripping the table. Look, I'm grabbing the table.

This he knows it's like a truck about to hit him in the head.

This is the rap right here. He ain't going to make this to ya. Wow. He's still there. He's holding on for dear life. He's still there. Barely thumbs up. He's fine.

Yes, OK. I close my eyes. So I thought, man, you scared the shit out of me.

Well, shut up. I might be a bad translation. No, it's perfect. It's all three. That means they're three hits in each side. Oh, my goodness. They're like holding them up.

So you take three shots the same place if you have been slapped in the face for not like that. Oh my God. It's horrible. This keeps going for a while.

How long. Oh my God. This is a thirty minute video. Yeah. Oh my God. Someone's going out. Keep going. Scooch that up.

His flight last. Get to the end. I think that was it. That's it. Yeah. I don't think they gave up.

Wow. But it was great. Right. It was great. But it a little you slip me. I love you. You love me. I slap you. We slept very good Lord I can't betray me.

Oh I'm so happy to take part in this show. Interesting format but they can't betray me. I am such a successful sportsman and I know how to fight. Right. Thank you so much for invitation. It was an honor to fight against such a legend. He is your champ. I would love to come back.

So apparently he flew in. He flew in to smack the Russian guy and the Russian guy smacked back and he earned the respect. The respect. Yeah. There's so many of these videos, man. You could do this all day. You could just watch each other all day.

Do they get knocked out? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And when they do, it's spectacular. Put up the one that I put on my Instagram today, because that one is a dude who has eyeballs tattooed that said they got money for that.

They got one hundred and fifty thousand ruble prize which was like thirty dollars.

Two thousand dollars. I want to see put up the one from my Instagram today. There's one enormous guy and another guy. Looks like he might have lifted weights once in high school.

Once it's such a mismatch, whoever sanctioned this is a real asshole because they got this kid like, yeah, back it up, but back it up.

Oh yeah. The same dude.

OK, just play it again because watch it because watch this guy. He has no force. Look at this.

Yeah. It's nothing. It's a drive by nothing.

So this guy apparently is the champ so he bitch slapped the champ, they let him get the first slap and that was like so that was a little lady slap.

But watch what homeboy does to him. This is horrific. This is first of all, look how little that guy is.

He's so little. Look at his neck. He looks so weird because he's got tattoos. Everyone is eyeballs are tattooed. Oh, look at his eyebrows.

Oh, that guy doesn't remember anything about childhood. Now all that stuff's been erased.

Oh, my God. He's like I was like a sketch shake of the screen. Be on time. Watch this again.

Nothing little slap. He slapped me. I barely noticed slip. Now watch the fucking thunderous boom. These guys know how to do it to that guy. He really does. He it with like fingers. He weighs like five hundred pounds.

He's enormous. He slap him with the fingers where the other guy is going to use the palm of his hand. He's going to really catch them. Oh good.

Right kid. Boom. Oh, it looks like his head came off. Yeah. Looks like he's shot. It looks like he's off. It's like his head just exploded. Oh teeth are coming out. Oh this is.

Oh you imagine. I got first of all that guy looks like he's never even punched someone the way he did it was.

Yeah he he's like a little kid is looks like a skater kid. He's a sad guy. That's what he's got those fucked up tattoos on his face and everything is probably emotionally disturbed and they talked him into it.

My friend, you could be glad to slap fight the whole time. You could be the one did you said street by video going around.

Oh yeah. The guy. Now I know what you see is my friend Robin Black's takedown of it. Put up Robin Black's from his Instagram because he had some great lines in it. What is this fucking to do to look like they're all left out.

They get a street fight. Yeah. Play it play. Give me some volume on this one minute breakdown.

Steve versus Street. Steve shirtless Skip kicked up a blocked five punch combination with a round kick chaser. And now for the street elegance. Watch this. Oh, fuck, bonafied spending Cresson kicked to a bevy of punches, including Hole, the Gin Fizz uppercut that stands shirtless Steve and now think they for damage for the win and assumed the after school Shotokan stance versus the St Steve tournament karate special and unfocused entry. Bring Stephen to arrange for the St.. Serge and the acid reflux special.

More Nuckolls plus a Comverse kick. Now behold the spin full rotation of the body. He'll look over their shoulder, find the target and fire off a spinning hook kick butt.

Years of mess and inactivity will bind the hips to the crescent for another angle. OK, there's two angles.

Oh this. Things are still strong and skinny guy gets kicked in the face uppercut and now the finisher. No, wait, false start. Let's line this bastard up. Last call for liver delivery bank.

That's right. We're living in a world of total document. The overhead is the street fight is two angles. But I love years of math inactivity upon the hips because Robin Black, my friend in this video who did the narration, he does real breakdowns of actual fights.

He's a martial arts expert. He's doing. Yeah. So the fact that he does this occasionally, he doesn't for everything. He'll do it for like bugs fighting. He does it for all of us. But we also do it for like world class fights. He doesn't for Bellator.

Oh my God, it's hilarious. Years of inactivity and man behind the hips did the murder.

Hauner and Praying Mantis. And he did do it.

Then he would see that he's murder hornets or bad man praying mantis.

Fuck up everything. We're lucky they're little. They would kill us all. It's going to beat the murder Hornet.

Oh, yeah, for sure. What I meant to speed up everything, really. He killed Championship's Kung Fu Mantus versus murder Hornet. How quickly. Oh man. Just will dominate by exploiting a structural truth of murder. Hornets anatomical shape, the connective path of Hornets head, thorax and abdomen create a curve with directional limitations for movement. By gripping the outer curve, Kung Fu Mantha stays beyond and behind stinging distance reaches he might murder. Hornets simply cannot inject his venom into kung fu magic.

But make no mistake, he's fighting for his life. The man hasn't wobbles from his head, but Mantus adjusts his grip, slicing with his tibial spines to regain his positional preeminence. My friend was not for the faint of heart in nature, the flesh and tissues of one feeds the body of another. Kung fu mantis is dining on murder, haunted in the quest to simply continue his existence and murder, Haunted continues to thrash Japan. Oh my God.

Even as this sentence leaves him, his instincts of self-preservation are powerful, a mighty reach with his weapon and a search for leverage or texture wherever it makes it to the head, it's just eating his head feasts life from the bank forward. Other this may be jarring. Oh, eyeball first. Oh yes.

He's got his whole head. But meanwhile the the bistline are to exist and to carry on.

It's eating like a corn on the cob of murder haunted all but dead apple eating without eating or any brain matter. He had the size of grains of sand gone but the instincts to survive remain. And that's his body dissembles. Perhaps we see the beauty here. We see the elegant nature of life on Earth. We feel the mighty grip of existence.

I don't know if I feel good that murder hornets can get schooled or that praying mantis.

I love this. I love both things. I love it. We need to just make more mantises and release them on these fucking pussy ass murder on it. Yeah.

Oh, we can pray mantises.

Goddamn terrifying. They get everything. They get everything. You ever see him get hummingbird's.

He didn't even think for a second. He just got it. Yeah. He's like, bitch, what. Yeah. It was one move.

They have so much leverage in those claws, those, those weird fucking shape things, those weird shape things are just designed to hold shit so they can cut it in half and eat its head.

Bro, it eats hummingbirds. Eat hummingbirds. Holy shit. Here watch this. So there's hummingbirds. So it's like doesn't know what that is. It's just things. Oh it's on, it's on the bigger than you and I'm just hanging out and this things on the bird feeder. But I'm sure it's nothing, nothing to worry about and watch out moose watch his arms cocked but the movement.

Watch this. Yeah. Oh it got a hummingbird by its head.

It doesn't give a fuck. They're so strong. Oh my God. Praying mantises are so strong. His back legs are just hanging on the bird feeder and his front is eating a bird. Yeah. And just dropped down with it. Now, here's the thing.

If you had arms, like proportionate arms, like look how small the arms are.

Wow. You would imagine like they can't be strong. They have their levers, their levers and also their insec levers with an exoskeleton. And they have preposterous amounts of strength relative to their size. Like have you ever seen ants carry things off? Yeah, like it's ridiculous. There's so much stronger proportionately. We are and we are so lucky to remember Starship Troopers. Look at this, guys, let's guys get involved this medal.

Yeah, the guy saved that hummingbird's, like, fuck the little points of contact for its little legs to be holding on to that crazy plus the bird trying to fly away. And it's like staying here. Yeah, it's like it's no big. I know.

It's crazy. There's so strong. That is insanity. You don't realize how strong they are until you say we have this thing in our head where we see something and we think of ourselves and we think of like size. Oh, that's probably weaker than the other thing. Right. That's its size because we would compare ourselves. But have you ever been around a chimpanzee? Have you ever had a chimp touch a chimp with a baby? Now a Newsradio?

Once we had a baby chimp and it had diapers, it was like two years old and it was there for some scene that we wound up not even using. But I played with this chimp and so holding them and it's really heavy for this little thing, but feels like it's made out of wood, like it's so dense.

And that's where I had it in my head. And it was hitting me in the back and I was like, oh, my God, you know, I was playing with maybe I was like, this is so strong and this is a baby a little bit.

But it gives you this understand, like, oh, I have a distorted idea of what it is because I think it's like me but little what's strong. But it's not it's a totally different kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like the density of its tissue.

It's made of monkeypox, made of it's made of preposterously strong material. Jeez Louise.

And that ain't shit compared to praying mantis. The praying mantis was the size of a chimp. The chimp would be fucked. That's what's weird about them. We're lucky that little.

Yeah. You remember Starship Troopers. Yeah. They were like giant praying mantises that killed everybody. Wait, what? Remember the bugs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This giant buys the. Yeah. The ground. They basically we're like a giant praying mantis or a beetle or some shit.

Yeah. What were the, what were the bugs like. I don't remember what they looked like. I just remember them being.

Yeah. Look at this broad. It literally is a giant mantis. Yeah, he's got levers. Oh, so different kinds of bugs. Yeah, they're like beetles there. All kinds of. This was a movie in the 90s or something, right?

Yeah. And he seven. Yeah.

Whatever happened, that dude who was the the head guy, Casper India is maybe one of the most handsome people that ever walked the face of the earth. He's so perfect. What happened to him is beautiful.

Yeah. Look at him. Oh yeah. That's him now. Even now.

Today at age 51, Starship Troopers 27, there was a Starship Troopers 2017, either through Starship Troopers three. There's a lot of them, I think. What.

Come on. How is that possible? And he was in all of them, but yeah.

Yeah. Either way, show me a video from Starship Troopers 2017 and see that. Is there a video traitor of Mars?

Don't, don't, don't go. Go to videos. Oh, here we go.

Oh, boy. It's in Mars. Oh, not a cartoon.

Oh it's fake you fake fox. Oh. Is it a video game. No, I don't think so. I think it's just a CGI.

It was a CGI movie. Yeah. Oh wow. The whole movie. Oh it's like the beginning of a bit. Isn't that crazy that a CGI movie now is actually cheaper than doing a movie with CGI? You can do the whole thing in CGI now and that's good.

That that's that's how they're making movies right now because you can't go into production. That's going to be the death of all.

Yeah. How many actors are losing their fucking minds now? They're so fragile as it is. It's got magic. Yeah. Magic. You dating a crazy actress and she was hot but stuck around.

But even though you knew she was a mess, know now the quarantine auditions, she's gone crazy. All her real hair color is coming out.

Oh, my God. Hey, thanks for saving my book, Joe.

I didn't sign. I mean, no, but you put a quote on the. Oh, that's right. I did. And it comes out today, right? It comes out today.

Are you you just segued into a book sales.

Did you? I did. I did a lot. It means a lot that you did this.

Oh, please. I love you. Says you're doing great. Yeah, you're doing great. And stay alive. Yeah, you are.

It's just relative. Some people are doing well, not everybody.

And other reasons to stay alive. I had no idea how relevant it was going to be when the when I wrote it.

I'm in Lofty Company here on the book Patent Oswald, Matt Damon and Whitney Cummings. Oh yeah.

You have some powerful friends who are good people to this. A real long book.

I need you to write this bitch a year and a half. Really? Yeah. How many pages? About three hundred.

Wow. Yeah, you're doing great. And other reasons to stay alive.

I had to do the audio book. I had to sneak in during quarantine. How. Just sneak in.

It was like the first week and I had to drive to a secret location and go in and read the book and I had my Apple Watch do it illegally.

I guess technically you did. You had an Apple Watch on your lap.

And then it alerted me when I got there that what? That I should be staying home. What may cut the shit? Uh huh. What did I say?

It said reminder, stay at home water. Everybody stay.

So your watch is kind of ratting you out. Uh huh. Oh yeah. Time to switch the Samsung.

You know, as soon as I got there because I felt weird going anyway, but I had to get the audiobook done. It was just gonna be me and the producer with a mask on and it got to the spot and I was driving and it was like, you know, the first couple of days. So it was really quiet out. There was nobody. And I'm just cruising along. I park in the parking lot, go into the thing and playing on my watch reminder, stay at home order if you and your car tussle would argued with it.

Shut up. You were trying to make America great. We challenge you. You're cringing on my civil liberties. Let me out. Yeah, that's I don't like that. But it was weird going on because I was reading the book.

You know, you have to read your whole book in like two days. Sorry to go back. And there were parts of the book that were like so on point of what's going on, like I talk about this thing about animals coming to attack us like that. I always run into animals that are attacking me.

And then I get the whole last part is I don't want to start talking about germs, e coli, Ebola, all these germs we haven't heard of yet coming for us, that we don't have antibiotics like stuff like that.

Why I do this whole run on cruise ships and you're never going to get me on one of those cruise ships. They're filled with disease.

And and I'm reading the book in Pandemic. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tim Dillon was here a couple of weeks ago and had an epic rant on cruise ships.

Oh, really? We found out while he was here, we found out while he was here that it costs twenty five dollars a week to be on one of those cruise ships.

What does that mean?

It cost twenty five dollars a week for someone to be on? Isn't that what it was?

It was like a hundred dollars for a four day cruise, so. Twenty five dollars. Oh, there's like a thousand or two thousand or something. That's right, it was like a hundred dollars. It was more than a four day cruise. It was like five to seven like Mexico.

So, OK, we broke it down to how many how many dollars?

It was a day. Right. So it's like I'm confused, though, less than it was less than twenty dollars a day. Right.

What the cost of what you do to be on a cruise ship, it's better than being homeless. Like we were like how many homeless people just go on a cruise ship because it's all you can eat, right. And you could really get fat. You could go crazy and get fat because apparently I bet if I had a guess, I've never been on a cruise ship.

But I think that the way they make their money is that booze, right? Yeah. Trick you into going, oh, you have to pay for the booze. I think so. I don't think they give you free booze.

And I don't know, you probably get like one drink for free. Like a drink ticket.

Yeah. And then and then you're just on off. Once you start going on a bender, your full rack up that credit card. Oh my God. Just they're disgusting without a pandemic.

You just I've never been on I've never had a desire to be on want. My kids wanted to go on.

Well there's a Disney cruise like fuck off. You don't know shit. You're six. I'm not going on a goddamn Disney cruise. I'm like, I go to Disneyland and you can leave when you want to go on a cruise.

You're stuck in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of wackos over here.

That comedian that was that came on the boat after the last entertainer molested somebody, sexually assaulted someone up on deck so they wouldn't let the performers up on deck.

Wow.

Entertainer. Some, like other comic or somebody got a little Hanzi. They was locked down. So this guy shows up, I forget who was a comedian, shows up on the boat and he's told, you can't go above deck. You've got to stay down in the quarters where we're with the crew.

So he has to stay in his room, in his quarters, and his room opens up and the stage door was across the hallway. So he was just sitting down there for days. Then they came, knocked on the door. Time to perform. He walks out onto stage in front of a thousand people. Good night, everybody. It's over.

He goes back into his hamster like. Like a rodeo. Oh, my God. What comic was that? I forget who it was. Oh, my God. That's awful. Oh, so rude. Oh, I would never, ever, ever couldn't do.

The only person I know who enjoys those is Alonzo. But Alonzo Bodden does does jazz cruises.

Yes, I know it's different. It's totally. And he hangs out with the musicians. Yes. He loves jazz, loves it.

So for him it's like, you know, like if you want a bacon cruise, if you want on a bread cruise, it's all just the best bread makers in the world would do that, would you?

Yeah, I probably would. Just great bread makers are there.

Could you fill up a cruise ship?

You couldn't, but you could fill it up with the people who want to learn more. You could definitely could do that. Right. So it could be like baking lessons.

Yeah. And and and then just the bakers. Yeah.

My Instagram, my social media has just been bread tutorials since the pandemic.

Really all my whole feed is people because I just before it happened I this is a plug for my YouTube.

I put all my videos on YouTube showing people how to bake bread because I'm doing this show. Everybody was like this bread guy. Yeah.

So I put up this, I just put up these tutorials of how to make it and then the pandemic hit and people couldn't get yeast, so they just started flooding to my YouTube and sending pictures. Now every day I get pictures. Thanks, Tom.

Here's my first effort. People like one on one, like why do you come out flat? And I feel like I should answer them. So I changed my whole podcast.

My whole podcast now is breaking bread with Tom. I talk to you about that. Yeah. Yeah. You got to come on it. I would love to use Cigarroa was the first one was it. Yeah. Oh that's awesome.

And it just it just. So what are you filming at the All Things Comedy place we're going to. Where are you filming it now. Well right now we Tom and I did it remotely.

We had cameras on both of us lots of times. You need to get together. I know who's the point. Did Alonzo who's scared of germs? Tom? I don't think I think it was a scheduling thing. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's time I would have done it.

I had just gotten tested by you. Yes, thank God. Yeah.

So and Alonzo had also so Alonzo and I did one that's going to come out next week and I'm just going to create a set, you know, remember the remember Billy Crystal on on Saturday, Saturday Night Live.

You look marvelous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just in like that Italian booth, like at Musso and Franks. Oh yeah.

That's my that's going to be my set.

I'm just going to Tommy Franks because it's breaking bread. It's just sitting like an old Italian restaurant. Yeah. And we said fine food and wine. Yeah. I get that. It's going to be marvelous.

I think I'm going to do it like that.

I forgot how fun that was that you look marvelous thing. It was so good.

I was like when I was a child. Yeah. We were kids, remember, it was that Howard Cosell on in the 80s, 81 maybe. Oh, wow, wasn't really I think so.

He had Howard Cosell is like a great one. I just love that set and that I love that 85, 85, so that's the year I graduated high school. Yeah. Seven years old. Yeah, yeah.

Little baby you look marvelous.

Billy Crystal. Even a handsome little fellow. When he was young, he was one about face. He really was. Remember that movie he did about the really depressing comedian, Mr. Savage, Mr. O.

Mr. Saturday Night? Yes. Yeah, I hated it. I remember I went to see it. I was on the road and I went to see it during, like during the daytime before the show by myself. And I remember leaving going.

This is not how comedians are like, what the fuck are you hanging out with, Billy?

Jesus Christ was my friends are comedians like this is the thing that was that was the movie.

Yeah. There's a thing about comedians that people always want to think that we're depressed and angry in real life.

Yes, that's not true. Very dark. But it's not a weird stereotype.

It is. Think about all the people that we know. Yeah.

Let's think about like Sagara and Alonzo. I'll give you an OK, you and I, if we were talking with no camera, we would talk just like this. If we would be talking shit, we would be laughing. Absolutely no different.

We're not brooding.

I'm not a brooding guy now and I know there are a few, but I think they're the minority.

I think so too. I'm I'm thinking about the guys that I hang with in New York, like Colin and Norton and Robert Kelly and those guys.

And they're not they're a little darker. But I would say what people think is that everyone's brooding and dark, but I mean, they're the most joyful people. When I hang with them, it's nothing but laughs. And they're complicated, though.

Yeah, well known comedians are complicated. Comedians are complicated, like. Right. They're busy heads.

Well, Norton is complicated. And Norton also spent a long time on the Opie and Anthony show, which was the whole thing about that show was being a wreck.

That was the book was talking shit. It was it was a shit talking fest. I mean, people said the most preposterous things just to get a reaction. Yeah.

You know, and then like, there's something about those days where, you know, especially the early 2000s and the late 90s.

Yeah. People said the most awful things to make other comics laugh.

And if you took that stuff out of context, yeah, I that's a gross thing that people do.

That little gotcha thing that people like to take things. Yeah. It's someone said I'm one of those shows out of context.

Like I'm sure Norton has had a bunch of horrific things that he wish he never said, but he said them so that one you or I or Petraeus, he's trying to make Petraeus or whoever the fuck or Anthony, we would all be laughing.

But it's not because he means it.

And there's a real grossness to that sort of going after people for old ridiculous things they said on radio shows, especially comedians.

Yeah, especially especially that kind of culture, like you're saying. Yeah. The whole thing was it was like a roast every night and like a classic roast. Exactly.

Every day, which is these are the hardest these are the funniest people on the planet. The only thing is kind of make them laugh is surprise. And the only way to surprise them is to say something no one would say.

Exactly.

No one. You got to go super hard. Yeah. Yeah. Surprise Patrice O'Neill with something comedically.

Yeah. Or you know how to reach deep shock. Norton Yeah.

Adlard and the other offensive part of that gotcha kind of thing, which I don't think these guys have had to I don't think they've come after them so much.

But anyway, I think when you when you hung with them, when you were there, it was love, it was just pure love. These guys cared about each other so deeply. Yeah. And would say the most heart.

You would say something to Rich Vos that was just going to be a bridge building. He wasn't a guy that was always the nail. Something for the hammer boss was almost always the nail, but he relished it because he's I mean, there's talk about a naturally funny human being.

He is so quick, so quick, so naturally funny and also takes a joke as good as anybody who's ever lived takes him right on the chin like those slap fighting guys. And I don't know, friends that loved each other more than not. Norton to Vohs, to Colin, to Robert. No, he's a special time.

The Opie and Anthony days. It was really special. Yeah, it definitely dipped into stuff like if you just rolled into that show out of context in your car when it was on set on terrestrial radio, I'm sure what it must've spun people's heads around like.

Well, some people came in as guests and didn't understand it. And I was there for a few of those. Yeah. And it was horrendous for them. I remember watching these like like. Yeah. Sort of sitcom actors who didn't know it was common.

Yeah. And they would say the press tour, especially once they had gotten over to Sirius XM and it was just like fucking no holds barred language, everything.

I mean and then there were people that would come on the who are surprisingly cool like Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer would come on.

Yes. Yeah. So cool. Roll with the punches kind of.

Guys, I'm really good friends with Dr. Phil's son. Oh, yes. Dr. Phil is great. Oh, yeah, I would have never imagined he is the easiest going nicest guy. I had him on the podcast. He's fucking great. Yeah, that's the best.

I was on the show with him like in the later years. And yeah, he seemed like a very cool guy.

He's a lot of fun. What did he catch with the with the beginning of the Corona stuff?

There was a lot of it were saying that he was he was one of the guys that they were saying isn't a scientist. And he had made some comments. What do you say? I don't know.

He said something. Maybe he was about that, that on the side of this isn't a we shouldn't be overreacting, I think is the gist of it.

Well, he he's a psychologist, right? Yeah.

Which is probably the mental health maybe of what was what the lockdown would cause, something like that.

And I think if you want to look at things from a psychologist perspective.

Yeah, I want to talk to a psychologist about the mindset of people that panic in pandemics, because this is I mean, when it comes to pandemics, this is a fairly mild one. Yeah.

I mean, I hate to say that to anybody that lost loved ones or anybody that's currently sick. Yeah.

It's not to be insensitive about that, but the reality of the past, when you look at the Black Plague or the Spanish flu or any of the horrendous ones that people went through before, this one's fairly mild in comparison.

If unchecked, would this be as dangerous as the Spanish flu? No. Look at the number of people that are asymptomatic. This is unchecked. Like 78 percent of the people that contact us are asymptomatic.

That's one of the shocking stats that I see on on Katie Couric Instagram.

She puts just this fact sheet up every day. And it's really just useful, like just just numbers. You know, that shocking number is the number of people who beat it.

Yeah.

Who had it were hospitalized and are fine, not even hospitalized.

It's a huge number. I have eight friends have got it.

The only one that was hospitalized is Michael Yo. Right. Michael Yo got it pretty bad. But I think I think he beat himself up. I think his body was beaten down. And I think it's a wake up call to us. One of the things that I'm noticing from not traveling is I feel so much better.

Dude, I can't tell you. I've been thinking like I can't believe what I was doing for the last twenty years.

I can't no hard core up at four a.m., the plane flying in and getting on stage, pounding out two hours of material. Get up four o'clock the next day, next city boom, boom. For twenty years.

Yeah. Doing radio can't. I'm starting to think about. I used to ride a motorcycle and when you're in it and riding the bike all the time it makes perfect sense.

It's safe. It seems like you're manageable. You stay off that bike for two years, you're like, I'm never getting on a bike again.

That's the most fun with me. What was wrong with me?

I'm starting to think that with travel for standup, I'm like, was I insane? No. Well, I mean, I was kind of figured that a little, too.

I've actually talked to a couple of my friends about this.

I might do a residency in L.A. I get a theater. Yeah, get a theater like a 500 seat theater and just bang out weekends there.

Yeah. Might not be a bad idea. It's a really good idea. I mean, certainly not in at the Beacon.

He would just do like two weekends a month. Yeah. You can do it. Yeah you can. Yeah you can do it.

Oh. Pleased with the amount of people that live in this area. Hm. Yeah.

And people fly and look we get that at the Comedy Store all the time. I've run into people all the time of the comic store. Oh, we flew in from Australia. We flew in from Ireland. Yeah. People they fly in from all over the world because they know that a comedy store is there and you can go there on a Tuesday night, see some insane lineout. Same.

And this is I mean, that's the one thing about our economy locally that's really devastating as tourists. Yeah.

I didn't realize how I always think just show business here.

It's tourism. Oh, yeah. People that come here every sing millions of.

Oh yeah. Every year. Yeah.

And I know then then you could have a residency. You don't have to bang. And I'm also thinking tour a little more.

I mean I'm talking out of my ass because when people call and give me an offer I go. But I think like if I could tour like a band and be like I'm going out in the fall, I'm going September through Thanksgiving, that's my tour and then I'm home.

Have you ramped up touring over the last few years at all? Yes. Yeah. When did you start wrapping it up?

Um, I would say the last five years. Last five years when I started selling bigger places and starting to do theaters start again. Chatter Baby.

Yeah, it was like, you know, you fight your whole life to be able to play a theater. Once that started happening, I was just yeah.

I remember the first time I ever sold out the theater was the craziest feeling ever. Yeah. I remember pulling into the parking lot. This is not even a comedy club. Yes, it's a theater. Look, there's bands come here. It's a real right. Yeah. Yeah. You see the people on the walls. Yeah.

And then you see all these people that don't work with comic. Clubs like, you know, the security people and the sound guy and like, hey, what's up, man? How are you doing, Dan? Joe nice meeting you. Bolívar, do you need anything? Nope. Nope, just a stool. Yeah. You know, OK, cool.

They're so happy. They're so used to people coming in with real demands and you're used to being treated like shit for years. You're just like and they're all there to see you. Yeah. It's weird. It makes it a show. It makes it feel like a real show.

Yeah. It feels the most surreal arenas. That's the most surreal. Yeah. I can imagine you come with me to one. I would never get allowed to do it again.

Oh I'm sure we could do it in Florida this weekend. Well you can in Kansas City you can. Yeah. Missouri's allowing concerts, concerts right now. Really.

Let's go. And are they going. Are people buying tickets. I have no idea. But apparently Missouri just passed a thing. I saw it on. I saw it through a trusted source, Lil Duval's Instagram page.

That's a trusted source for sure. But yeah.

Said that Missouri is allowing concerts.

Yeah. I mean, it's all going to come back. It is going hopefully. But but you got to wonder how many people like you or I who are looking at our life now going, OK, well what am I doing my mind I going to keep doing this and beat myself up because I just did it Saturday. Right. I flew to Florida Saturday and then I flew back home first flight Sunday morning.

So I was you know, I was back home at like 10 a.m. on Sunday. But then I got an IV bag. I got a vitamin bag of I.V.. Yeah. And I got another covid tested. So just give me a test. I know everyone was tested at the UFC there were very stringent with the test. You have to have a wristband to get there. I go. But just fucking hit me with another test. It's not that bad.

Yeah, but I was thinking before the IV bags of I.V. bag made me feel pretty good. I was like, what am I doing? Like, am I going to keep doing this? Like why am I going to keep doing this.

Yeah. You know, like well because we love performing and you look and people want to see you and it's what we do in L.A., bitch.

I'm going to be in the theater. I know, I know. I still do some adjustments, but I'm still going to go. But no, I'm going to go. But I don't know.

And it sounds so the only reason I hesitate is because my kids are a little older and I mean, I didn't have the freedom to do it earlier when they were little.

I'm saying like I should have stayed home when they were little, but that's when I was coming up.

And, you know, I had to struggle and I do love it.

I have to say, when you're in the rhythm of it's only again, it's the motorcycle, it's the distance of it that makes it seem crazy. When I was in the middle of it, it was just what I did.

You do it Ron Wyden style. If you had your own Tom Papa jet it say what he does. He's got his own jet. Ron Wyden got a jet. There was that great scene.

I think I've mentioned this on the show when the Ray Charles movie with Jamie Fox and would see that when he.

Yeah, maybe I did and I forgot. And when he read redoes his contract, he puts a jet in. It is part of the contract because something about the phrasing was somewhat conveying that because the travel is going to kill you. That's the thing that kills you.

Hmm. It was it is a travel on your own jet going to kill you less? Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah. That's Gron.

You're cutting down days. When I would tour with Seinfeld, he would, I would be home after doing a gig in Atlanta.

I would be home in New York earlier than the guys doing sets at the cellar and coming home.

Because you fly that night. Fly that night. Right. Your home. Your home in your own bed. Yes, it's a home now.

You're not staying in the hotel and shitty sleep. You're not going. Yes, of course you're going to live longer. Right.

But. You know, but if it's so fun to go, though, it's so great, I love. I do. I'm in my yard and I you know, there's not that many planes. Going to Burbank now, it's almost none, almost none like several a day kind of thing, and they like a little burst at night.

But when I hear them and I look up and I see the bottom of Alaska, it looks like a like a like a whale's belly, like, oh, where are they going?

I want to tell jokes. I'll be with you guys soon. How the airline survive this.

How are they going to make it? Well, they got a lot of dough. I don't know how you. Yeah, they did. How much do they have? I don't know. They got the government of them. Oh. But I don't know.

Was the government getting that money. Hey, just make it. Well why didn't they make it to fix the fuckin impoverished neighborhoods. Why didn't they fix all that. Or not. They've been quarantined.

Oh, it's not that sick talking about poor people.

Now, I don't know how you get back to operating an air line. Right. An airport.

How do we get six feet apart at TSA? That how exactly the lines are going to be up to is going to be in San Francisco? It's going to be insane. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I don't even think of that. Yeah. Like when they're at full capacity, how do you get through security? When is it going to happen?

Are you gonna have to go six hours before your flight? When can it happen?

I don't know that part. That's that. Can you do that again?

Like that either vaccine or it ravage the population through air travel for our process. Self check in disinfection community passes.

Oh, fuck off. We'll get those outfits or our process for our process light.

Come on.

For hours, once airports borders open again, people are able to fly freely. A process already in play as airports of all sizes around the world ready strategies to ensure a healthy air travel. How much are you ready to change your flying habits? Oh my God.

I could get a little bit less because the source of that and then says this might cause less people to then fly, which brings airlines down a little bit.

Right. But that's going to fuck everybody up because it's going to be less flights available. Yeah, there already are. Yeah. Oh yeah. Right now.

But this is in the middle of the quarantine once the quarantine is lifted. Yeah. Like when when can you fly to Bozeman, Montana, you know, I mean. Yeah I know exactly.

It's going to be you know, travel is going to be someone my sister sent me an article of some guy was like had to take a flight for work and everyone was saying, oh, I'm so jealous you're getting to fly for work and it's going to be empty and it's going to be great.

And he said it was horrible because people were tense and nervous on flights before.

Yeah. And like putting their things in the overhead and, you know, trying to get ahead of you in line.

Now, people's nerves are so it was like they didn't want to be near other people they once saw. Everyone else is like a contagion and it's just like get away from me.

And, you know, very the nervous energy of the experience was a real drag.

Oh, my friend Lexi flew from Boston to do the show. It was the only person on the plane is a private plane just for him. The whole plane. Oh, my. Get a mask on one. He said the stewardesses didn't even talk to him, right? It was no no water, no nothing. You know, you don't get shit. Don't even make contact. You stay the fuck away from you.

Now, listen, if it means that fewer people are going to be flying and we can go back to flying like it's in the eighties, I wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Yeah, but if you want to travel to places. Yeah, you have to have a viable the airline has to have a reason to schedule a flight like that. Don't you think it was traveling.

But don't you think it was a little maxed out by the at before things go like every flight there is. When I started my career there were empty seats on planes.

They were it wasn't a mad rush of humanity at the I mean, are you prepared to pay more for plane tickets?

Yes, I used to have it. I used to I used to have a joke in my act where because of the crowd and stuff and people say the people say the airlines are expensive, I people say it's too expensive to fly. I say not expensive enough.

Let's keep it the business travel.

And you didn't the family of six, they vacation locally. It's time to ramp up.

I hope you're doing great. Sells a lot and you get with them Ron White jokes.

Oh man, I hope so. Do you know how I travel, son? Yeah.

He's got fucking smoking cigars, drinking tequila. Just flying around. Flying around. Yeah, getting on a bus. Doing it when I flew it.

Chappelle he smokes on planes, smoke cigarettes cause I'm like this is outrageous.

He doesn't even ask if the people around him are OK with it. He just starts up had it's like his thing.

Well you can smoke on a private jet I guess. I guess I guess it must have to have some sort of an agreement with the pilots. Yeah. Yeah. Look, you're in a fucking tube now flying around. It's like that air is going to get to everybody. There's only one guy that can do that. How much filtration is in that airplane? Yeah, well, that's what they keep putting out reports. I keep getting notes from the airlines.

Do you get those in your email? I don't read them the little videos and stuff from the owner you name in the mask.

Yeah, we were all disinfecting and all our air is 98 percent fresh and all that stuff.

You rotten tomatoes. Yeah, their heirs get only 30 percent.

Yeah. But no, it's going to be. I do feel like it's recalibrating how you look at everything. But once it all gets opened up and you're like having an opportunity to go to all these places, you probably go back to what we were doing.

When I was in Florida, I was walking down the hallway of my hotel and some guy in his room was coughing. Yeah. Oh, I fucking panicked.

I panicked. Yeah. I was like, oh, no.

I walked faster, quickly, got through the hallway. I remember thinking, like, wow, is this how I'm going to be? From now on I hear a cough and want to freak out. I know something that didn't mean jack shit. I know three months ago now I was like, yeah.

Coughing And it's go through the vent.

It's coming into my room. Little particles are in the air. My last gig was in Pennsylvania and it was the Keswick Theater and like just north of Philadelphia. And it was all just starting. It was like March 7th. So was all starting to really stop.

And I get on the flight and I'm like wondering like, is this going to be my last gig for a while?

And I was really kind of bummed out about it. And then Paula Poundstone came on the plane. And I know, Paula, from wait, wait, don't tell me just great. You know, and she comes out and she's like, we're fucked.

I got really think, oh, yeah. And then she goes to sit in the back and she has an asthmatic condition.

Oh, no.

The whole flight, she's just coughing in the leg to mine like a heavy cough. It hits and she comes up to go to the bathroom. At some point she's like, I'm real popular today.

She was just freaking the entire plane out.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God, no. Oh, my God. She's so damn funny.

Have she ever been on. No, she's got asthma.

She has some asthma thing. Yeah. That would make it really terrifying. Yeah. She can't get it right. But that kind of thing. I know.

I know. God is she funny though. So dry in just just a road warrior. Talk about travel, who she just pounded out for years.

Years.

She was really popular at one point in time. Mm hmm. What happened.

Really popular. She had a drinking thing. She had a little kerfuffle. She had something with people, said stuff about her as a mom and stuff. And it was all cleared up and it took a little bit of a hit. And then she came back and she just went on the road and just kept going. And she was, you know, cleared of everything. There was no problems.

And she just took every gig she could take and just played it, played it, played it. And she's been on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me for thirty years straight. And she's just what is.

Wait, wait, don't tell me this podcast. That's the NPR show.

It's Peter Sagal. And it's it's like a news quiz and it's just they have three comedians on I Do with Alonzo a lot.

It's a podcast. All right. It's a no. It's an NPR radio show and a podcast.

But it was a radio show first and then it's runs as a podcast. And it's all current events. It's all like, you know, stuff that's happening in the week. And Paula is known as just the her crowd work is like her real.

She's so in the moment off the cuff, brilliant. Probably one of the best of all time. And so in that format for the show, she's just a killer.

So she did that for thirty years and it came. And she's still you know, her audience is a little older, but she's super.

She sells out all these places. You know, she does not have to do radio for tickets. You know, she's she's has a real, real strong base.

Yeah. There's so many people that made a living on the road and kind of counted on it. So, yeah. Yeah.

Bills every month were kind of high. Mm.

You know, and now they're in this situation like holy shit. Like when, when can I work.

Yeah. No kidding. No kidding. I mean that's the thing like in entertainment even when there were recessions, entertainment always did OK.

Right.

This one there was a thing in The Sopranos were like one of the characters says, you know, in a recession, entertainment and our thing, we're OK and they're recession proof. But this one live performance.

Holy shit. Well, Live Nation almost went under. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Live Nation got a giant chunk bought out by this. The Empire, did you hear about that? Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Everybody was like, what the fuck? They bought a sizable chunk of Live Nation, you know, because it's an open it's a public company. Right. So they were hurting. What? See, you find that article.

So they bought it so that they controlled Saudi Arabia purchases 500 million dollar stake in Live Nation because that 500 million was probably worth a couple billion before this.

Oh, I don't know what that means. I mean, what is it worth now? I mean, this is what I mean, they're really taking a chance. Five point seven percent stake in live. Wow. How much is lamination worth? Yeah. Billion five point seven. Yeah, it's 500 million.

Gets you five percent.

Right. Saudi Public Investment Fund disclosed the stake, compromising 12 million three hundred thirty seven thousand five hundred and sixty nine shares in a filing with the Securities Exchange Commission on Monday. They're taking a big chance, too, though, because like, when is that going to be happening again in Missouri this weekend? Just Missouri.

So maybe Texas. Yeah, you know, it'll come back. I mean, it'll be back, but it's can you sustain the the downside of it?

I'm going to say the plan dictate. What do you what is this, the Missouri thing. OK, Missouri Governor Mike Pozen unveiled a state reopening plan April 27 that included a note that live concerts can resume starting Monday, May 4th. Well, Billboard reports Missouri is the first state in the U.S. to reopen live events amid the coronavirus pandemic. The plan dictates that seeding shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements, which is a bullshit, nonsensical requirement.

You're all stuck together in a room screaming and the concert goers must remain at least six feet apart. Well, that won't happen when people are peeing. The mayors of Missouri major, major cities, St. Louis, Springfield and Kansas City have revealed that live concerts and large gatherings will not return as the city stay home, orders will remain intact.

The mayor's overriding the governor, yes, says we will be will continue to be guided by data, not dates. St. Louis Mayor Leda Leda Kruzan. Someone sounds like a liberal.

OK, so now we can't do concerts in St. Louis either. Yeah. So it looks like it's not going to happen in St. Louis. It'll be a bit maybe Kansas City. Maybe they'll let you go there. Yeah, somewhere someone's going to do it.

Yeah. There's going to be the first concert.

She's the idea of staying six feet apart, like how many seats you have to give up. Like we're about six feet apart. How many seats is between you and me? Three, maybe three. One, two, three, four, four. So you have to give up four seats. So you'd have one quarter if you're lucky. Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah. That's so crazy. Yeah.

Everyone knows the economics of that doesn't really. But if you're on a date. Oh yeah.

Can you, can you. If you take your lady friend and they sit next to each other know what you do that trick with the popcorn.

Well here's the thing. What about you go behind the bottom of the popcorn, put your junk in it, then she goes for the popcorn.

The dynamic you, Ruxin, what about the people behind you? Where the fuck are they going to go? We're going to have to stagger. They're not right behind you. They're over here. Oh, fuck off. Because then they're going to be too close to the people that are close to you.

Yeah, that won't work. Broadway just said they're not opening till Labor Day.

Well, thank God I don't like Broadway and their audience is not in the musical 65 plus. Oh yeah. Those are people that really should be terrified. Yeah.

Even when they open when they said they're going to open Labor Day, Labor Day, September. Whoa. Yeah. Originally said June.

Now it's I don't know why that Labor Day. I'm supposed to do Madison Square Garden October 3rd.

Oh. Oh yeah. New York City Marathon. How's that going. No, I don't know.

How's that going to happen. Isn't it amazing how the months seem so close now? Oh yeah.

When you're doing the math of like, will I be able to go out and we're sitting here in May and all of a sudden October looks like it's next week.

Well, November 1st, I'm at the forum, the Great Western Forum out here.

Oh, wow. Yeah. How would that be?

Sweet. When I think about anything else, I could do that. Imagine if you were though. Imagine if you make it. Imagine if something happens between now and then where you are able to go do the garden.

Wouldn't that be great. Weekend shows at the Houston Improv, Brian Cowen's already there from the 22nd of the month, they have a show booked right now. What? Yeah, well, my my shows are still on sale in San Francisco right now.

I mean, this motherfucker says Alan Adams steps in Saturday, May 16th. I salute you, Alan.

And your wonderful mustache, Texas improvs. It looks like our wow this week. Good for them. Different roles everywhere.

But fuckin. Yeah, I think I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I don't you know, if you're if I went to school and if they do some precautions, you think you have to act and it's going to be young people now.

It'll be half the Senate seats, 400. Maybe they'll have 150.

I don't know if that's what they're doing there, though, and might just be sitting down. I don't think Texas is Buckwild, bro.

You could bring a gun like the Callan's going, hey, I might move to Texas. Coulon and I and Shabib actually talked about this like getting a ranch together.

Well, if here's the thing. If California continues to be this restrictive. Yeah. I don't know if this is a good place to live. First of all, it's extremely expensive. The taxes here are ridiculous. Yeah.

And if they really say that we can't do stand up until 2022 or some shit like that, like I might jet.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. Yeah, I'm not kidding.

This is silly. I don't need to be here. The only reason why I'm here is that I'm close to people like you. Right. A lot of my friends live here, the stores here. But if they they won't let us do the store. But we could do stand up other places. Why would we stay here? We're in Texas, though.

I don't know, man. Hmmm. Austin.

I like Austin a lot. I like Dallas a lot. I like Houston. But yeah, I don't know if I'd live in Houston. I would definitely live very humid.

Yeah. The summer's a motherfucker.

Got brutal. Dallas is great trying to read through this. I think they're starting with twenty five percent of listed occupancy.

Yeah. At the Improv. Mhm. Yeah.

They're going to, they're going to do what it says, says they're not doing it to make money, they're doing it for like for the audiences. Like I said, it's not a money making opportunity.

It's Brian Cowan, Brendan Shaw. We're going to demand their money.

The other thing is they make most of their money off of alcohol. And if people have to wear masks, how's that work?

Should we call Callen? Right now? Everyone's got a sippy strike, it's called.

And update you to find out what's going on since he's the one who's actually doing this, is operating at twenty five percent, will not be a moneymaking exercise, nor will be fifty percent when that point is reached. So we're not there yet.

I've got to I'm supposed to do Portland.

Hey, buddy, you're on the air, so don't say anything crazy, OK, when you're doing the improv in Houston, I'm doing the impromptu standing up ready shot.

You're a savage. Come with me. The twenty ninth to twenty first.

How many people are allowed to be in the audience? I think it's two hundred so far. Whoa.

That's because that's all they could sell. How many. Two hundred people in the crowd. What is the normal capacity.

Yeah I believe that's the number. That's Texas now I just read in the New York Times. I mean I'm sorry. Chavez called me and said that the shut down in Los Angeles is being considered till July. Yes.

Yeah, you said so normally the Houston improv seats. Four hundred and fifty people, it says. Yeah. So they'll allow two hundred people that what it is.

That's correct. Right. Wow. Yeah. L.A. is July. How crazy is that.

Well how do we fight it out. I mean. Well who's who is deciding that. Some health some health official based on what data. Yeah.

And what is going to be different in July. Nothing's going to be different in July. Nothing can be different. But also is this about getting absentee voting and for for their for the for the for the seats in Congress? What's going on? I don't understand what. Why would you think it would be about that? Is there a way that I talk to it to a Republican? There's an article about homelessness and I want to speak to the scholar and the person that you talked who who knows?

The person is a Republican strategist. I'll find out the information that she was a correlating it to that. Now, maybe because she's a Republican strategist, there's not I don't have any evidence on this. But absentee ballots in this in this state, I guess, favor Democrats, incumbent Democrats for a number of reasons that I'm not an expert on this, but that's what I heard.

And I'm wondering if there's anything to that that doesn't make any sense, because this state is basically blue anyway, meaning that that seems like a ridiculous thing to sink the economy for something you already have winning.

But I thought there were two seats in Congress that were up for grabs.

It can't be. That can't be that. You can't we can't blow up the whole economy just for that.

I think it's probably more of a liability thing that they're worried about if they make a decision and somehow it gets connected to a larger amount of deaths, you know, because these people get paid while this is all going on, like they are not the people that own the small businesses. They're not I. Yeah, I know.

I know. I'm aware. This is what happens when politicians are protecting and doing this for our our quote unquote our own good. Yeah. You know, Cambrai, I don't have any we never discussed it. I work where my government doesn't represent me. I have no recourse.

Where are we moving? Where are we moving? You wanna go to Texas?

I like Texas. I got to sit here like a couch. You regress. Well, Gavin Newsom has decided for my own good to shut down the entire state and the economy. And I'm sorry to say this also. But, you know, from what I read and again, I may be wrong, but this is a primarily a disease that is fatal to the mean average, I think is eight years and eighty one.

Yeah. We actually talked about it on the podcast that the average age that people die from this disease is older than the average age people die.

OK, so we shut down everything. Instead of having a targeted quarantine or a smarter way to do this, I just have to do like a cow chewing grass. I have to listen to whatever my politician tells me. Yeah, this is this is what I thought it was May 15th. Now it's July.

Yeah. No, I agree with you. I agree with you in that way. I think it's L.A. County is actually July. The governor still has May 15th and that they're moving forward with stages. So the next stage will be Jim's and they're going to have, you know, certain disinfection, Solondz, things like that. They're going to have to have certain rules in place, hand sanitizer, things along those lines. I'm I'm just still so confused by this.

I think they should quarantine people that are higher at risk and quarantine people if they choose to be quarantined because they're still scared of it. That's what I think.

Can you ask me if I can open for freedom and I would be called personal responsibility and all that stuff? We're not dealing with that. I don't know what Eric Garcetti is doing or I just don't get it. Yeah, the logic. I don't get it either.

But Tom Poppo wants open for you. He's here right now. He wants to open for you and me.

Your up for ten minutes moving around. You do.

Thanks. All right. All right. Obviously, you got to take my workshops first. I'll call you. It's mostly physical. We get you scratching. We get moving around in your workshop.

I'll call you after I'm out of here. I love you, buddy. Bye.

There you go. So, yes, I am a little bit less than half capacity.

I have an offer to go do it in two weeks and then may or may. Houston Improv, which was Salt Lake City.

Oh, wise guys, you have it there and we'll take it. How many people in the audience? 150. Fill it up and let's test that community. Come up.

Posse's I love them in my Portland show is like two weeks after that. I would live in Utah and I'd like you to, you know, stay beautiful.

People are scared of Mormons, so nobody moves there. Yeah, it's really true.

They're all scared, like, oh my God, you go there, you have to join the call. Oh, they're so nice.

The whole city. So best team members in the world. I love it. But a lot of people are not cult members that live in Utah. Yeah, there's a lot of non Mormons that live there and they're the nicest folks. So nice.

And it's it's, I think the most beautiful state. It's so diverse. It's a very beautiful state. God, it's gorgeous.

The mountains and the Canyonlands and preach, preach Tampopo. Oh, I love it there. Could you live there? I could live anywhere. Anywhere.

Well, Wiseguys is a great club to work out of too. If like you need it like a local club to practice. Yeah. You could do wiseguys. It's a good spot. It's the most underrated club in the country I think.

Yeah. No it's great. It's really well. Good luck.

Everybody knows how great comedy works in Denver is. Everybody knows how great Zanies in Nashville is. Most people don't.

You know, we sleep on the short list of great clubs. Wise guys in Salt Lake City is right up there. My opinion.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Do you think kids will be back in school in September?

I don't know. But if they're not, it's going to be a mess. My kids are they're mocking their teachers with the fucking computer on me.

You know, look, my my my middle daughter, my 12 year old, she's a savage.

She's she's ruthless. She's a predator. And she's just like, put them on mute. Oh, yeah.

So which was like, you're so smart. How did you learn?

Did you learn through computer. And she thinks it's hilarious.

They wake up right before they go to school. I know school starts at eight. You wake up at seven fifty six P, they drink some water and they fucking sit in front of their computer.

It's like kids are up all night long to. I don't even I don't have no idea when they go to bed it's like two.

I get to be in the middle of the night. I still hear movies being played. My daughter is just sitting on her computer eating breakfast in bed.

They're in bed on and the teachers could not be less enthusiastic. So phoning. And then one of my daughters, my nine year old, the fucking teachers always late. Yeah. Like, she gets mad at them if they tune into the Zoome thing late, but like show me their fifteen minutes they just sluggishly talk to them about their studies and it's so boring.

It sounds so boring, so boring.

I sat with her and just to watch let me be a fly on the wall. Watch this nonsense. Yeah. It's like it's a regular school is dead sitting right.

Just like. Oh I know.

It's so, it's so frustrating. It was for me too.

And I think their schools better than my school but. Yeah but the zoom shit is like seventy five percent more annoying than regular school doesn't work.

My friends buddy, my friend's son stayed at school in Chicago and was like, you know, I could do classes from home or you know, it's all going to be online for the end of the year when I could come home today or I could stay there and do and let me just stay there and be with my friends, at least when we're off.

And he's but he's a good student and he loves going to class. He said it's just doesn't compare. Like you come out of class and you'd be like, I missed that part.

And you go see with your buddy and have coffee and figure out the stuff that you missed and the whole other part of the experience.

It's not just about them spitting information into your brain in this two dimensional space.

We're turning people into robots. It's really, Brud, you know, this is the thing that I talked about and I was just joking around. But if you just sat down and broke it down this way, if you were an artificial intelligence. Right, and you were trying to trick people into submitting to become some sort of a symbiotic creation where you get people to join The Matrix. How would you get them to do that? Well, one good way to start out is make it so they don't want to go anywhere near each other.

Right. Separate themselves. Make them be accustomed to doing everything online, virtually. Yeah. Make them accustomed to being terrified to be around people's physical touch. You can't shake hands.

You can't do anything. So who's controlling this matrix?

Well, this is the future. The future is eventually we're going to be a part of this. Like Ellen was on here talking about some neural link thing they're going to do.

We're one day brain his.

Yeah, his literal words were, you're not going to have to talk to communicate. Really? Yes. And I was like, what?

Well, this is it, right? This is how you get into the Matrix. This is how eventually we're going to eventually submit, because it's going to be more interesting than the fucking Mad Max wasteland that's left in the world as the temperature rises and the diseases mutate.

Yeah, fuck. But. First of all, will be protected by the praying mantis. Second of all, you need to breed them.

The amazing thing that that is that I've been observing during this, we are this living organism.

We are more linked than we knew there are. Everybody seems to be in the same mood at the same time, the same frustrations, the same sadness, the same joys.

People are craving being with each other. We are this organism that while we're individuals, we're also part of this bigger hive that feeds off of each other in profound ways.

And I don't care what you come up with, we want to see and squeeze and be around and be face to face and touch each other. And there is that that thing is not it's like asking a fish not to swim. We are not built for that. You would have to give us a lobotomy for us to do that. Yeah.

You see. Ready. Player one. Yes. Great movie about that. Yeah.

It's about this sort of transition to a virtual world that's more it's more more exciting.

It's more captivating.

It's more it doesn't have that thing. It doesn't have that physical thing, you know, to satisfy that. I don't know if you're right.

Look, we're freaking out. Look, if people want to be around each other, they. Right. But this is now.

Yeah, well, as things get better with the virtual world, I think there's a real potential. I think that ready player one shit is real. I mean, I think that is going to be the future, whether it's fifty years from now. One hundred and fifty years from now. Right. There's going to come a time where people can't wait to just plug into this thing and put a helmet on and go into a crazy world where you can skateboard through the fucking stars.

Look, I. I love all that stuff. I invite it. I would love to be a part of it. Yeah. I mean, all that stuff is very exciting and I see how it's plausible. But there is a biological dimension to this that I think is. Inescapable, like you'd have to do something to the human being to break them down to to just be satisfied with that.

Maybe there needs to be some component that comes over and makes you feel like a hug, hits that part of your brain that does that.

That's what I'm saying. And right now, that's what they can do in that membrane. Ready. Player one They had those haptic feedback suits that the girl touches them and you can feel it all over his body. I don't remember that part.

I do. I wonder I wonder if that's, you know, that's where it's all going to go to. I mean, if you you look at how connected we are now to computers and to phones and to your Tesla, you know, all this electronic shit that we have, it's just a matter of time that this stuff's going to accelerate. It's going to get more entrenched in your life. Right.

So what's the Elon model? Is there creating that for what?

Well, they're going to first steps is going to be for people that have injuries where, you know, paralysis are going to be able to make their body function again. And he actually said even better, your body would function even better than it did before your spinal cord was severed.

All right. You're going to be able to see people that are, you know, vision issues are going to be to fix that. Brain issues, brain trauma. They're going to fix that. That's what the first applications of it's going to be. And then eventually it's going to lead to higher bandwidth access to information. And the way he was saying, you're going to people are going to be much more productive when they're on it. Right. Have it.

And it's, you know, something in a drill hole in your head and put a fucking cork in there with wires that go into different parts of your brain. Fire it up.

Will this be done before I'm old? He says, like five years. Really? Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.

So the first first people, you know, first people that tried will be people that are injured or have ailments. Right.

But but most people whose knees his feet hurt slightly when he goes upstairs, stop eating bread themselves, making there's no way cause an inflammation.

You can never not eat bread. I just bake it and smell it. I could do that.

Just only greens. It's so good to eat though. Especially my bread. It's so delicious. Do you think you'd only eat bread once a week? Could have a bread day. I could.

What have you found of the bread. Really bad for you. If you go to a doctor and the doctor says, Tom, here's what's going on. This is where you could be and this is where you are and this is what's holding you back. Oh, it's fucking gluten meat in his bread. And it's fucking with your joints.

It's causing arthritis. It's causing your cartilage to break down. You're going to be crippled when you're older.

Or you can just have bread, a little bit of mouth pleasure. And some butter.

Oh, we can't live without it, can you, in this this mythical world that you're talking about, this made a place where bread is bad for you. I guess I could play around, but it's my bread is good for you.

How's about flour, water, salt and yeast.

It's the only thing I myself for. It's not bad for you in moderation. It's not bad for you. Oh please.

But essentially all the people that make you and all the DNA that had to carry you before it came out, Kalume, wheat flour, bread, heirloom wheat flour.

Yeah. Do you really. Yeah. So what do you get for it. Mm hmm. Oh. So I guess I should just live in Utah.

You might. Might have to. Yeah.

Because I know when I was in Italy the pasta you eat does not make you feel fucked up.

No it doesn't. And Maynard Maynard from Tool, he was explaining to me that when you know, because he uses heirloom wheat for his pasta, you know, he owns a couple of restaurants.

Yeah. Yeah. And he was saying that when human beings started fucking around, particularly in America with wheat and sort of engineering at a higher yield. Yeah, they made more complex gluten. There's more glutens in the in the wheat and it's a higher yield. So if they have an acre of the old wheat, it would only grow a certain amount of wheat. And it's like much more now from an acre of this new wheat. But the problem is our bodies don't know how to digest it properly.

Right. That's why people develop all these fucking weird gluten intolerance issues since no one had before. Yeah. Also, when you go over here, everyone's so fat. But if you go to Italy with any pasta every day, they're not fat.

Yeah, exactly. And, you know, I've said this a thousand times, but the other stuff that's in our bread that you get from the supermarket is making you sick.

It shouldn't be thirty ingredients. You should be four ingredients.

But what a lot of water, preservatives, preservatives, sugars. To give you a sense of sugar, I bought some bread from the farmer's market.

It was it was stale in a day. Yeah.

I bought some bread from the supermarket. I bought it three weeks ago. I got a sandwich the other day was great.

I know it's still good. I know it's crazy. No, that's not good. It's not good. Well, they're doing all this great stuff.

All these farmers are growing wheat that was grown in the region where they farm throughout centuries.

So their risk repopulating with the stuff that was indigenous to that region.

Really? Yeah. Does that make it better? Yeah, makes it better. Because it's natural. It's just real. I'm just going to show it to you.

Look, I. I've given you a lot of bread, look. Isn't that the best bread I've ever given you? Smells very good. It's really you bake this that came out last night.

Oh, my God. I can't eat it. Let's let it sit there. So beautiful. It's a masterpiece.

I mean, I'm getting better.

You are now. How do you eat your bread? Do you ever put a little Nutella on it? Do you crazy? No.

You know, I gave Ali one loaf of bread during quarantinable in breaking bread to my friends, just dropping it off.

And her husband put it looked like a block of Nutella on it. It like more Nutella than bread.

I have a picture I was going to send. So good of your bread with Nutella. My favorite is my favorite thing. I like doing lots of different stuff with it, but my favorite is cream cheese and sardines with capers.

God damn, I like what you're saying now. Kittyhawk. So good to get my pants off. Cream cheese and sardines. That sounds fantastic.

So good. And some capers on it. Oh, my God. Here you go.

That's your bread with Nutella. Look at that. I put it. Oh, that was my bread. Oh, that was. That's all butter. Actually, that is the on it. It's got a hazelnut. It's got chocolate. It's one of the. That's actually good. Well good for you. That stuff. Oh yeah that's right. I got to get some of that.

Yeah. Oh that looks good.

Why don't I think it was Nutella and that's it. Before I got pre and after you get so good there. It does look good. It's really good. What is the, what's in that.

Does it say, does it say in the post. In the post Jamie. Scroller. I'm on a chocolate hazelnut fat butter, yeah, b chocolate, hazelnut fabretti. That's good for you.

Oh yeah. Chocolate hazelnut. Yes. Dalhousie it's not one word.

And that hazelnut fat butter. Yeah.

Yeah. Good stuff on it. Fat butter's a great way to get healthy fats.

Oh I love that stuff. I just scoop it out. Not usually the chocolate stuff but yeah. We have a bunch of different fat butters.

Right. I scoop it out with spoons because it's healthy calories. You know, you want to snack and you don't want to feel like a loser. Just eat some of that. Yeah.

You know, I think back to what you were saying originally. Would I be able to stop if they told me? I think, you know, you can't eat carbs all the time and feel good, right? You can't. And, you know, I just can't.

Yeah, I OK, Tony Hinchcliffe can tell me slipways 18 pounds. He's pasta all day. He's like a hummingbird. He really. Is it enough. Fremantle is going to rip his head off what. He was on the podcast. He was joking around about his people would be so angry at me if they saw how I it's so slim. So he doesn't even have a hint of a gut? No, nothing.

Yeah, it's true too.

I've eaten with him after shows that fucking kid can eat. Really? Yeah, it's annoying. Tony throws down that that man has an appetite.

He's not fucking around. Yeah.

It is annoying because really it's got a fantastic genetic make up of, you know, being able to lose weight. Yeah.

Or not gain weight I should say. He's never had to lose any weight, but on the other hand he can gain any weight either.

I've brought him lifting weights and it's that's as hilarious as his diet.

OK, I'm sorry to bring up an old subject, which I'm sure you've talked about a ton, but but I've been working out more during quarantine than I have X last five years.

What are you been doing? And I've been doing the palletized for cardio.

Cool. I don't want to run around, so that's a good move. It's really good. I really love it. I haven't slept really great.

And then I have these dumbbells, you know, the adjustable ones.

Yeah.

I've been using those and doing those weights in the middle, but everything I see online is all kettlebell all the time. And is it that much better? I've never worked out with a kettlebell in my life.

Well, you certainly can get a great workout with dumbbells. You can. Yeah for sure.

I mean it feels great, but I can show you how to use a kettlebell and you can get an understanding of why so many people like it after the podcast. Yeah, it's they're really versatile. Yeah. In the fact that you're swinging, you're using a lot of your whole body, you're using your legs, using your core and you, you know, when you're balancing them, you're, you know, you're tightening your core. You're using your spine and your shoulders and your arms.

Right. I love them, but I've loved them for a long time. I think it's a it's a great exercise for for functional strength. Meaning like when I lift a lot of kettlebell and I do it a lot. Yeah. I feel like when I do martial arts, I have more strength. I move better, my legs move better, my body moves better because you have to use everything like like you say if you're doing like what what Steve Maxo would call man maker.

I think that's like clean press squat. It might be I might have renegade rows in there as well.

But the seek sequences of movements. Right, right. You do these like you could burn yourself out really quick on these sequences of movements, right.

Because the dumbbells are isolating. They're good. No, you can you can do klinz and pressies and stuff with dumbbells. Yeah. It's just not the best thing for windmill's or for some other kind of exercise you can do with kettlebell.

Kettlebell is just really, really versatile. Yeah. It's hard to get one right now. Everybody sold out when the quarantine hit on it. We're still sold out. Oh really. Yeah. We have a big sale.

It's going on right now in on it, but we don't have a sale do the whole month.

But the kettlebell sale doesn't kick in until the last week of the month because we don't even have them in stock. Wow. We sold out. We sold out so quick. And it's hard to get them right now because a lot of these places that are manufactured are shut down because of the quarantine. So they couldn't restock them for us. I wonder if now that sporting good places are open in L.A., you probably get stuff there.

Maybe, but where are they getting it from? Yeah, I mean, over the head and stuff. All these companies are out.

I know Rogue Rogue hired another company stateside, I believe in Rhode Island to start making their kettlebell because they were getting a lot of their kettle bells overseas and, you know, just like fucking everything shut down, man.

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. They got to open it up.

But once you get them in, I mean, yeah, there's so many great workouts that you could find online. Yeah.

Keith Weber is a great resource. He's a he's a guy that I've talked about. He's been on the podcast before, but he's got this great kettlebell, extreme kettlebell cardio workout that you could just use one thirty five pound kettlebell and you get an amazing, amazing workout.

Wow. Yeah. That be cool. I mean just to back it up because it's you know, we've been doing a. For like two months, I want to go somewhere, I want to go to a yoga class, I miss them. I know like I miss being in a class with people. I miss jujitsu. I mean, that's got to be driving you crazy. I miss everything. Can't wrestle around. The biggest thing I miss is comedy.

That's 100 percent.

It's such a weird thing.

I think I talked about this with you on the phone that it's not even like, oh, I just miss being up.

You slowly start to change you. So I slowly go inward.

I feel like like when I'm writing a lot, I get more insulated, I get more to myself. I feel like that just socially when I'm not performing.

And when you're writing. Right, which is available right now. Yes.

Everywhere, wherever books are sold, it'll make you feel good. It'll make you feel good.

Yeah. When I'm doing that. No joke when I'm isolated and when they're cranking it out my I get a little different but then I could go out at night and be out and social.

It resets it. Yeah. And this is now being in quarantine is like I'm writing the book without having any outlet.

Yeah. We miss that clubhouse environment. I mean, the comic store is a place where it's like all these these comics that travel all over the country, we get together and be with our own tribe, you know. Yeah, it's a big part of it and it's a big part of it.

And now we're not even supposed to be I mean, people were at the beginning of this podcast, like, what do you what are you allowed to do that? Like, they were saying you shouldn't even be allowed to do this. Right? Even if I was testing everybody, I'm like, look, yeah, but I think it's also because people are out of work and they're like, why do you get to work?

You know, it seems. Right, right. Why does anybody get to tell you can't work. That's what the real question. Yeah, that's the real question.

Right, exactly. I know you've got to get people back to work. That's the thing that balance.

And it's like I think we've gone pretty far that one way. And now you're going to really start hurting people. Utah doesn't give a fuck, though.

It wouldn't go well in intentional ways. But, you know, they're not being mindless about it. They're not being irresponsible.

Next, they come out, old people, California State University campuses to remain closed through fall semester. You fucks, they're going to make California just a bunch of just vehle.

We're going to be vehle over here. The whole rest of the country is going to be out there. I want that herd immunity. I wonder if they're going to charge you.

Like if you go to your classes, 500000 kids or students online. Yeah.

Online, though, the fuck. I wonder if they'll still charge you full tuition and put it online. Course they will. Of course they will do.

Fuck off with all this. If I was going to college right now and I found out this, I would switch. I feel like I'm getting out of here 100 percent. My daughter's not going to find out.

So I have to go move and pay out-of-state tuition fees at another school now because. Yeah, state schools. So that's like. Right. Yes. Option for a lot of people. I would move. Oh, that's brutal.

Fucking going to Texas, wouldn't you. I probably wouldn't be going to college.

Right. Well, I think my daughter's mental health and I think I know for mental health, I think it's terrible for kids to be sitting in front of a fucking computer all day doing school with no friends around and not being able to mingle and have my daughters call it school with no friends.

That's awful.

Yeah, this might lead to no football fall because if you in disgust, if it can't be on campus, then they're not going to be playing the games then. Meanwhile, sure.

Angina, they're all spitting in each other's mouths and lifting weights to get ready to take over.

Yeah, that's a good point, Jamie, because then, you know, they don't just play California schools. They play the rest of the country was just looking up the Big Ten, which is where Ohio State plays. Yeah, some stuff. There's a discussion of maybe just having it all in conference schedule. So, like, off the fly, they can just drive buses.

I wonder how Vegas is going to handle it, because like I said, my friend Nick, his restaurant opened up at half capacity.

But I wonder how I have a show in Vegas that sold out at that park theater, whatever the fuck that is, the one next to the July, July first we got in July.

I know you've done outside comedy before. Is that a potential? I don't enjoy amphitheatres.

Yeah, the audience likes a we don't like it. Yeah, ok. Yeah it's ok. It's OK. I mean, yeah I did one in Mountain View in San Francisco this past year. I did want Salt Lake too. This is not as good Dave and I did once.

The energy just goes up into the sky, you don't get to really feel it. It's not really that good. You're going to open the scar. Oh, jeez. There he goes. It's like driving things have popped up in the last couple of weeks, I don't know how successful they've been, but I like music or EDM and then I think a couple of comedians have tried. Oh, really? Parking lot comedy or something?

Yeah, my wife kept saying that I should drive in comedy. She's like anyone else gets the idea. Yeah. Yeah. You should go do drive in comedy if I got it right. No she is, she is kind of over me.

Yeah. People find out whether or not you really like somebody. Yeah. I'm not going to know I'm OK. He's terrified. I'm not terrified. I love it. A little horrified. I have to do two more things after this. What do you do?

NPR, CPK, all those things that would help both those.

It's true. Then I can drive my car home, let the car drive itself. It does drive itself. It smells so good, though.

Do you have want some little little baby? No. Okay.

Forget the the new driving option, the Tesco and they have to pay for. Have you done that. The what. Self-driving thing. This new update that came up you actually pay for.

No. Yeah, I didn't see that.

Yeah. There was a new one that came out. Have to pay for it. Yeah. 4000 bucks. What. Oh maybe my car isn't equipped for it.

What. Use your car. It's what are we 2020. It's probably twenty.

Fifteen oh, it's a piece of shit. It's probably barely has any got batteries. It's got great battery dies real quick, right? Oh come on. How fast does it go? Slow shit.

Faster than I need it to. Oh, yes. Impossible. It's a killer.

You should have the new one. I should have known. This is outrageous.

It's you're right. You're right. I should update. But I don't. I think I'm probably missing some hardware, though. Yeah, I think so. For that.

What does it do? I don't know if I haven't tried it yet. Taste test on the latest self-driving visualisations comes to life in this impressive picture. Oh, so it shows the cones. That's interesting.

Oh yeah. Because that. Oh so it'll show something that stops. Wow that's crazy. It shows a stop sign. What reads the stop sign.

Will it stop for traffic lights. That's the thing that mine does not do. I don't think it does that yet. Well then I'm not interested then.

It's a lemon test. This ought to go back to that on V nine shows great improvements when it comes to rendering the surroundings on the screen. But I'm often getting these weird bugs when stopped or at low speeds. Play that.

See what that does. What's the weird bug, weird bugs. Oh, people are just like moving around like ghosts and shit. There's no one there. Oh, that's weird.

Yeah, well it's all electronics. But then have you heard of any viruses infecting Teslas? Now, maybe I shouldn't put that out there, dude.

Have you heard? Dude, I mean, I'm sure someone must have thought about it already.

Yeah, I'm sure they've been trying to crack. And I'm not the guy to be the first one to think that out.

Yeah, no, I think yeah. But there's certain things, there's like certain modes and stuff so that people don't mess with it like a. A mode like to kind of shut off the computer. Yeah, and their century mode to. Right. Right. How many people have caught keying on them? Oh really? Yeah. It's so weird, man.

People look around. No one's really scratched the shit out of someone's car. Why would you do that?

Because they they're angry. It's usually people that they don't even know the person.

They just decide this is a nice car. I see this sweet model three sitting there. It's wharfie with keys and scratching shit out of it. What do they have?

So where are they in Warriors the movie? I think that's why Elon made those cyber trucks like bulletproof.

So it's got to be a way. But Fluxus got to fix it. Yeah.

And we can do it and make it all out of sheet metal steel. So they do have some sort of like hacking competition to look for bugs.

Oh, a group of hackers want a Tesla model three and a 35000 dollar prize for hacking into its systems.

A Matt Kema and Richard Tsou hope I'm saying that right of a team called Floro Flora acetate exposed a vulnerability in the vehicle system during the hacking competition, the hackers targeted the infamous infotainment.

That's a weird fake word.

Infotainment with which is it all that information or is it entertainment?

And that's ridiculous. How about media system on the radio like that? Infotainment infotainment gets thrown around like a real word. We have plenty of words that cover both of those things, right?

Yeah, we don't know. New word needed here. We don't need to make hybrid words.

Yeah. It just seems like a weird time.

How do we get on the Tesla?

We're talking about talking about your car driving itself if you got high. Oh, if I got high right there. My memory is strong with the weed. That's rare though. It's very reliable. Yeah.

Super unreliable when I'm high. Yeah. No kidding. I know sometimes it's great though. Sometimes if you pull things out or you know out of the deep. Yeah.

All right. What's with all these old boxers coming back. Ovando. Whatever we field is coming back now. What's it. Yes. Have you seen the Mike Tyson 665 65. Mike Tyson is coming back. What. Yes. You haven't seen dude now. OK, go to Mike Tyson's page for his most recent video on his Instagram.

Get ready for this. Oh, really? Get ready for this because he looks fucking sensational. What is he, fifty three. Fifty three I think. Yeah, I think he's a year older than I am. I'm fifty two.

But he looks fucking incredible. Really terrifying dude.

But was interesting, more exciting than his fights. They were, there were a cultural event.

Oh my God. Yeah. I'm so exciting.

The only concern was that you're going to spend money and you weren't going to get it back. Look at this. Right. You needed volume so you can hear those two.

Whoa. I mean, what in the fuck do you have to? He looks like, oh, I'm bad, a bad.

You know what's really funny?

Oh my God said on the podcast when he was in here, he said he didn't want to work out again because his ego would get fired up again. And he's actually said that in his post that my my ego had been reignited. Is that mean his rage? No.

See if you can find it. That is either because he says he's like being Zen and doesn't want to. He gave a statement about it saying that, like, his ego has been reignited.

Good for him.

Yeah. Oh, good for us. He said something about how the gods of war have brought him out again.

It was like really heavy shit. I think it's a real recent real reason. Well, see if you could find the quote, but it was like, oh, my God, when you were with him, Gods of war reignited my ego.

Oh, my God. And I'm ready to go again. Yeah.

He's going to fight. Do you think. Do you think he'd fare against that?

I think any eight year old. I don't know. It depends on the 28 year old. But I think that you for sure need a guy who's really good at fighting to keep him off you.

Yeah. Even if you're in your 20s right here. Mike Tyson explains the desire to fight again. I feel unstoppable. Now, the gods of war have reawakened.

He said something about his ego firing up, see if he could find that quote, because that was one of the things that he actually talked about in the podcast. Yeah, the gods of war have awakened me. They've reignited my ego and want me to go to war again.

The shit that's there, that's so terrifying. Here's Ringman.

If they don't drug test them, they don't test them for hormones. Yeah, things are way different. I mean, because if he takes hormones, if he's taking right.

Like testosterone and growth hormone, thyroid hormone, all the things that people do when they take hormone replacement therapy, your body functions way better at a later age. It's different, very different.

So if we're talking about like being a 53 year old man in 1985, there's no chance, right?

Everybody fell apart like you.

You'd have to, like, be a really, really, really rare person who doesn't take hormones and can perform like a 30 year old right in your 50s.

But when you're on hormones, you can kind of do it. It's in you. There's like a guy there's a few guys that were in the UFC. One of the bigger examples is Vitor Belfort, Vito Battleford, who's a phenomenal fighter, a real legend. He was in the first he won the first tournament that I ever worked on. That was at UFC 12 in 1997. So he was 19 years old back then. OK, and then when he was in his late 30s, he had a giant resurgence.

And it was when they made testosterone replacement therapy legal for fighters.

Yeah.

So there was a bunch of fighters that got on these testosterone replacement therapy exemptions. And so they're taking testosterone. But they had an old man's brain, but their body moved like a younger man. So it's basically they had all of the experience of a lifetime of fighting crime. But because of the hormones, their body actually performed like someone way, way younger than that.

Like how much younger do you think? I don't know.

It depends on the body. It depends on what kind of damage you're dealing with and what's wrong with you. Yeah. Whether or not it can bring you back ten years or five years or who knows. But yeah, with these fighters, the thing is, they were never really out of shape. And some of them there was a quite a few of them, in fact, and I'm not going to name any names, but some of them needed those hormones because they had done steroids.

So when you do steroids, it shuts down your endocrine system. Your endocrine system doesn't make the proper hormones anymore. And so they needed it was a real weird sort of conundrum because everyone was kind of new this.

Yeah, but there was a weird loophole that went on for a few years. It was a real gray area and remain so. Say a fighter could go to the doctor and say, hey, I want to get a blood test and see what my testosterone levels are because I am feeling very tired. Right. And they look at and they test, they go, oh, look at this. Your testosterone levels are low.

You are, you are.

You could take this hormone and inject it into your body every week. Now you're eligible for testosterone replacement therapy. Right. But the thing is, they might have like the whole reason why they need in the first place might have been that they they were using it illegally.

So it's a weird thing, you're right, because the testing wasn't very good. And some of these guys that are a part of this were part of this testosterone replacement therapy thing. They were ones that were kind of accused of possibly using performance enhancing drugs in the past. So then they get to use them legally, right? Yeah, Veter, dude, I'm telling everyone in my community we talk about TRT, Vitter Vitter was a guy who was in his thirties.

He'd been fighting a long fucking time. Yeah. But all of a sudden he was moving like a demon again and just smashing people. Right.

You ever see him fight? Now, do me a favor. Pull a detour. Belfour versus Luke Rockholt, because that was one of the perfect examples. And they're fighting.

I don't know if it was in Brazil or what, but Vitor had muscles on his teeth and I was waiting for that fight.

Oh, my God, it was crazy. And he just blitzkrieg and. It's OK to do it was legal, right, when he was doing was legal, right? It was. It was. And then it took a while for everybody went, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What's the fight going on? This is not we can't do this. And so then the UFC went the whole other way and they brought in USADA. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency now handles everything and they randomly test fighters in the middle of the night. And people get the stuff all the time.

Oh, really? Yeah, they're really strict. Man Do you think they just got popped for marijuana? He was. They have a pretty liberal range. It's a pretty generous range that you can have. So watch this. First of all, look at Veter. He's the one in the red.

Yeah, just looking at it now. Watch this. We'll kick check this out. Set it up. Bang.

Oh, dude, he's dude fucking veter.

When he was on the TRT was one of the scariest guys to ever live up into his trap. Yeah, look at him. Oh my God. Yeah. Dude's avoided the fuck out of him.

Look at this. We've got to see like a pit bull.

Oh, my goodness. He look like a demon. He looked like a demon back then.

There's a few of his fights from that area, from that era, rather. That was just absolutely terrifying.

Do you think that you should that it should be that strict against these drugs? In that it should? Yes, because it's confusing. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not it's not for your health. Right. I take testosterone placement. I think for your health, it's a good move when you get older, makes your body work better. But for fighting, there's a weird grey area.

Like when when should it be legal. Yeah. You're going to let people take it out there. Forty five. Right. My point is, if they don't test Tyson and Holyfield and all these guys for testosterone replacement, we might see some crazy shit.

We might see some great invite.

He's a perfect hey, I do not know, maybe he's not on anything and maybe he's just a special athlete.

Right. Lord knows Herschel Walker was Herschel Walker was a guy who fought in strike force after he played in the NFL and was really successful, was terrifying. Like people were avoiding him. Yeah. People that were like lifelong martial arts, like fuck that guy because he was a super athlete and super obviously, Mike Tyson was a super athlete.

Chunka No one, when they're twenty usually move like that. And here he is.

Fifty three, moving like a world champ, throwing bombs again. It's only on the pads. We don't know what happens.

Spar's right but but still you have to look the praying mantis. If he makes the first move he's going to rip your head off. You have to look at that and go look look look let's not get crazy fast. He's going right now. Look how scary he is. That's that's what makes us think of Mike Tyson when he was in his prime, when he'd come out.

No socks. Oh, my God. Just those leathers. My favorite ever was the Marvis Frazier fight because it was really like an execution. Yeah, it was.

Marvis Frazier also was like a really good fighter and was Joe Frazier son.

And you knew what was going to happen.

Mike Tyson was twenty seconds. Tyson was just he was a different thing. Yeah. He just was a different thing. Yeah. He'd never seen a boxer like him before where he's just like every fight was an execution.

No fruit, no frills, no nothing, no sock, no no socks, no robe most of the time.

Yeah.

No, I mean sometimes he had a towel around his neck, sometimes he didn't even have that had he wasn't going to be there long no matter what he was.

And you would see the look in the guy's eyes when it was see him across the ring like, oh my God, what the fuck did I sign up for.

How exciting. When you're with him when he was here. Yeah.

Do you feel like this is still a menacing physical guy or did you feel like. Well, he's real nice.

Yeah, I know he's a real nice guy, but he's he's still.

But does he still have that, you know, guys that are tough in their youth, you still feel that thing.

Yeah, but he's terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Who said it best. What was the UFC fighter that was saying.

Like it's like hanging out with a la. Oh was it Kevin Lee. I think it was Kevin Lee. Yeah it was Kevin. It sounds like something Kev would say. It's like, it's like he goes it's like your next to a lion is like he's like, oh yeah.

That's Mike Tyson. I like that. Way to describe it is the perfect way to describe being around him. Like you just want him to like you. What, you want to be nice to him and you also will be cool. You can't believe he's here. Yeah, no, he's here now. It's like a mythical figure sitting next to you. Dude, he asked me about fighting.

Like what about what did I ever do? And I've never felt more like a fraud in my life. I was telling you about the stupid shit that I've done. I did a little taekwondo tournaments and had a couple of kickboxing fights like such a bitch.

I could feel it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's cause he's a like a cultural icon. Yeah. If you stop and think about it, like from our generation to be around him, it's like, what are your real thing?

You're right here.

It's like being with Thor. Is this really it's like, oh, you came out of the sky and you're talking to me now.

So it was a legend, he's going to fight someone and they don't have a fight scheduled, but also Evander Holyfield go to Evander Holyfield's YouTube, I'm thinking he doesn't look as fast.

No, he doesn't. But he still looks good. Yeah, I'm sorry. His Instagram, not as YouTube.

He as Instagram. He posted the video of him throwing punches and he said, this is me at 60 percent.

Who wants to see 70 percent doing this my whole life?

Yeah, it was interesting because as a person who's a giant boxing fan and I am like, I see what Holyfield's doing. What Holyfield is doing is he saw the Mike Tyson thing. You saw Mike Tyson looking amazing.

And then that fire just got quick, got turned on and he's doing it slow and deliberate. So here he is, like running shadow boxing. And then there's videos of him. He's jumping rope again.

She's doing sit ups. He's in good shape. Oh, he was in great shape, but he was here. But look at this shadow boxing and then there's video of him that looks pretty good, just like that one where it let me go to the all the video did I mention I've been doing the dumbbells.

I think it's that the one is that I think it was before that thing. It was before that. You think that'll be the fight? If I'm coming back, that's the announcer.

But there was another one of him where it said, this is me at 60 percent. Who wants us to look at him in the prime God?

I mean, there. No, no. I was excited to see him in his prime, but it was really recent.

It's to him. He's hitting the bag.

He's he's doing some other stuff. And he was tough. Oh, he was amazing.

He's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time. Oh, look, either way, that's OK. Wow. But it was he's basically, you know, him going through workouts.

He started throwing some punches, hitting the bag. He's throwing some uppercuts.

And you're like, wow, what if it's a Tyson Holyfield fight?

Do that's the fight. If you were going to make a crazy fight of two fifty year old guys, that's the fight.

People would pay for that for sure. Fuck yeah. Fuck, yeah, they would. But the here's the thing.

Do you just jump right in that or do you. Oh yes you do.

Because Tyson fight a bartender first just from a promo standpoint to get everyone excited. Well, there was a guy who is a rugby player who's I believe he's seven and oh, in boxing, I think they offered Tyson a fight to fight that guy. And I think his thought is no, he wants a fight, a real boxer. Look, not just a guy who was like a hobbyist, right? Yeah.

Let him take down Lennox Lewis. But I've been training lately, too. Oh, my goodness. Fifty four year old Lennox Lewis. Hey, man, imagine imagine if in this day and age, the three of them have like a fucking fight off, you know, like a Super six tournament. Yeah.

Fuck, that would be crazy. Now you can take testosterone. These guys.

I don't know. That's OK. If in the boxing federation, I don't know where they get it done.

I don't know who does the testing, what the rules are. It would depend it would vary on the state athletic commissions. You could always do things on tribal land. They have their own rules. You could always make agreements like the fire. You can't take more than this or that. And you have to be within this level or that level because you don't want guys, like, juiced up on some psycho drug now, because also, like, if you're not going to drug test at all, like, OK, there's other stuff that people can take.

People take Adderall and fight.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I overfocus. Yeah. I've seen people who actually were on Adderall who were told by the Athletic Commission that they couldn't take the Adderall. They had to get off of it and then they had to wean themselves off and then come back and fight. Jeez. Yeah, yeah. There was a there was quite a bit of an issue because there's guys who were prescribed it by the doctors. You know, they have ADHD or something.

They're on this Adderall. And the athletic commission was like, no, sir.

Yeah. You know, I did a baseball event. It was a the all star game for softball, you know, before the softball game, before the all star game, the next day, celebrity legends thing. And you get to play with all the baseball players and hang out with the baseball players.

And they were all talking about how in the 70s and 80s they would when you were pitching, you would put amphetamines in in the coffee because you wanted everybody to be super alert and be able to see stuff and you wanted everybody to play your best while you were pitching.

They were like it was just common.

You just yeah, people are taking that pills and stuff all the time and then focus for the batters as well, right?

Yes. So their team would win. Well, your pitching. Yeah, not but not if they would see the ball is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never done them either, but I know a lot of pool players who really got into amphetamines during gambling events because the pool culture is very strange when it comes to gambling.

Yeah. One of the big things is they play until someone quits.

Right. It's like like you can win, like you could say, OK, we'll do a race to ten. Right. And if you beat me and if I want to play you a second race and you just bail you. A bad reputation in the world of gamblers, and the idea is this, and this is very debatable. Some guys don't feel bad about stopping early and some guys do, but the old school hardcore guys will never quit. Right?

It's like a scene. The Hustler with Jackie Gleason and Paul wears them down.

They go all night. And then all through the next night, he has a breakdown.

He's just all sweaty and his character starts putting himself together. He's like, Bob is better. At the end, he washes his hands. So great. Yeah, he changed the his tie. Yeah.

Powdered his hands up like a baby and he goes, yeah, he goes fast Eddie.

Let's play some pool. And then Paul Newman's drunk. I mean it's a classic scene. So but it's a realistic scene in terms of like the culture of like hardcore gamblers in pool and in the 70s and the 80s when gambling was a really big thing. Yeah. With with pool players, with travel all across the country. There's all great road stories. Yeah. There's one by David McCumber about my friend Tony Antigoni. It's called Playing Off the Rail, and it's all about them just traveling from town to town gambling and was buddy Tony would do it completely naturally.

Like Tony was just a strong minded, really good pool player who would do it with no drugs, but other guys would take hardcore amphetamines.

Right. And be up for days. It was famous the guys would have like these sessions. You would go home and go to bed and then you call a pool hall like Newt, like they're still going.

Like what? Oh, they went all through the night and they played all this. You would go down there like after lunch. Yeah. B three in the afternoon. These guys you'd been playing pool from seven p.m. the night before were still playing and still talking shit to each other and they're all just jacked up on speed.

So somebody broke.

Yeah, there was speed guys. And then there was the guys who were the natural guys would get mad the speed guys. Yeah. Yeah. That shit in his system. Right.

He can't fucking play me like a man could I should I take testosterone.

Would it make me go to a doctor, find out what your testosterone levels are. You mean you might.

When I went for my physical it wasn't low. Oh you're good to go. I was, but it's got to be lower than it was when I was seventeen. I'm sure it is.

And there's some strategies to lift it up. And one of the best ones is stop eating bread. Sorry.

What's that? Some people think that's actually true.

Some people think that one of the best ways to keep your hormones strong is to have less inflammation in your body, right?

Yes, right. And Carnivore diet, like any diet where you're eating very little carbs.

Yeah. Probably will boost it a little bit. Yeah.

Good for people that have autoimmune issues. For some strange reason, people cut out bread and pasta and sugar and even vegetables. Yeah, some people like psoriasis. It just goes away. Really. That's weird man. Yeah. Like I don't. That's extreme. Yeah. It's, it's, it's a weird I did it for a month.

It's a weird way to lose your life. Yeah.

You know, it's like you get tired of it does feel great though to you know, I'm not going to live that way.

But when it's just when you don't have any of that and just have some of your elk or whatever and vegetables and just eggs the next morning and just.

Yeah, even just for like two days, you feel like two different. Yeah. It really it's like a person who doesn't fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you're a healthy food, I mean healthy food is the number one building block for your body. Yeah. You have to think about it. Like if you're making your body like your body is essentially building itself up all the time and regenerating tissue and regenerating cells. Right. We all know this. Yeah. If that's happening, what is it doing it with. What do you providing. What kind of protein. What kind of vitamins.

Cool ranch Doritos. Oh I guess we got we have to build a house with this shit and it's got to build your body with this horrible foundation.

You should almost look at it that way. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with eating a little bit of bullshit every now and then. Sure.

But you're literally using it as fuel, right, to to power your body if you want to give it the best fuel possible.

Yeah, of course. Of course. I know. I know. People like my friend campaigns, he drinks, pours water into cereal because he won't use dairy.

Mm hmm. What about a nut milk?

You'd never catch that motherfucker drinking too hard. So he pours water on the cereal. Just don't eat cereal and cereal. Yeah, he wants a sandwich. Doesn't want any dairy. Some people just look at food, fuel. It's just. I know. I know all it is. Yeah.

And look, if you're living that's that way. That's fine. But not me, baby. Not me, baby. A bottle of wine, some nice bread, some nice cheese. Once in a while sit outside with your wife and just have a nice little moment. Yes.

That's not about fuel. That's about something else. It's about living your. Life, yeah, there's enjoyment, pleasure in those meals. Yes, 100 percent, yeah, like pasta.

It's like I was talking to Adam Perry Lang about food, what he calls comfort food, and I guess that's a good name for it, that that expression that people love to use comfort, comfort food. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what's happening.

It's like giving you a hug in your mouth. It's yeah. It's a big it's a big cuddly Grandmaison. Feel good. Mac and cheese right in between grandmas big boobs housedress. Yes. You smell the flower in her apron. Yeah. Go on. Oh whatever you grew up with like that. Yeah.

It just makes you feel alive again, especially like things that are like cheesy like stews or or you know like just.

Yeah. Pasta with melted cheese and solid lasagna like oh come on, come on.

You over recreation. Oh it's so good. I mean whatever. Wizzard figured out how to put together that concoction because think of what they're doing. Like how I got a fucking idea. We got to get some help to the bottom. We do it on the bottom. How about a bit of past. On the bottom solves some of the put a cheese molpus. Don't forget your meals. Don't forget the meat of the fucking pork. It's all about the pork.

We are going to have three times meat, three times stacked it in there like this. Meat and pasta. Cheese sandwich. Another layer. Yeah, another tomato sauce. And you know, there's no ifs, ands or buts.

That's not good for you. You know, give a fuck. Oh my God. No one's got nutritious pasta. That's like lasagna.

There is never been an athlete that was at the podium with a medal around his neck saying, I'd like to thank the people that made my lasagna. So think about it, though.

Like when you're eating it, you're like, I don't give a fuck. I don't care if this is bad for me. It's so good I make that on Christmas Eve.

Oh, it's such a good thing to make. Oh. And it's becomes like, you know, because it's a lot of work. You're only doing that a couple of times a year.

And when you do it like now, the kids all think of Christmas Eve as the time for the lasagna.

I mean, that's that's memories. That's love.

All of that stuff wrapped into one. My grandmother used to make her own pasta. She did everything. Everything was homemade. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was crazy. Like, I grew up with that.

Oh, when I was a little kid, I remember when I was over there, house like my grandmother, she had, like, the rolling pin, the flower.

She's making the dough and she's pressing everything and pouring the flour on it, pressing it again.

And a master. Where was this? Where was she? Jersey in New Jersey. She was reckless, this lady. She would cut a loaf of bread towards her with a giant last night like this. I'm like your tits, grandma, who is right there? Don't cut yourself. I can't think she's going to cut herself now.

She's been doing it every day for, like, her whole fucking life, a reckless lady.

Oh, that's the best cut towards your tip. Vaginal.

But you knew when you walked in there and we're going to be fed. They didn't make his bread, we would get bread. My grandfather had two places he would go in the neighborhood, go, and he would take me on a walk with them to get the bread. It was only a couple of blocks away. Amazing. Yeah, amazing. Wild man, Italian immigrant cooking.

That was my grandparents, too. And what was amazing, too, is even when they weren't going all out, if they just did something simple, it was like the most mind blowing cheesemaker escarole, which is just like sleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, just Tommy, just take this, take a little piece of bread.

Just have that like come my ass. Yeah. Not to your knees. Yes.

She would make these little twists, these little pasta twists and it was all fresh pasta. So you buy into it is like it had this chugh to it. It was so satisfying with the homemade tomato sauce throw it all came from my grandfather's tomatoes and we grow in the backyard to do the whole thing from scratch, boil the tornadoes and make the sauce and add the garlic to the kitchen.

Just you'd walk and you'd be like, I'm fucking starving.

I have. I always said as soon as I got out of the car in the driveway.

Yeah, the smell would just carry you into the house. Oh, the tomato sauce smells good. Garlic good for your soul. Oh, good for your soul. Now I'll never forget that man.

Never forget watching her make things. And she wanted she wanted to make it for everybody. She wanted everybody to eat her homemade pasta. Oh. She knew she was good at.

Oh for sure. We would go crazy.

She would, she would serve us and she just look at us like, oh my God, Grandma, was it a big family. Oh yeah. Yeah. Everybody would come over. Yeah we would. Do you know before she got sick. Yeah. She had a she had a stroke. Oh yeah. It was horrible man.

How she wasn't at home and she lived for another twelve years when they thought that she had 48 hours to live, the doctor was like you know maybe seventy 72 something like say goodbye, she's in bad shape.

Twelve years she had a stroke and people didn't, they didn't. No one knew. She fell down outside, you know, she had a hemorrhage and she fell down outside and like they didn't find her for like a half hour or something like that.

No one knew that she had been out there.

That's the whole key with stroke speed. Yeah, that's what they say.

Right. But we only learned that, like, last week. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah. Aneurysms are crazy, right? Like you just everything's fine. One day just boom, things start bleeding. No, I don't like to think of those at all.

It's terrifying. But you got enough years in which she was. Yeah, but it was it was also.

I did but it was also for just for life for me, for a life lesson to see someone who you knew was, you know, always like this larger than life character. Yeah, my grandmother was she was really fun. Yeah. She was really weird to me. She would wear wigs. She's a she's a strange lady.

That's great. But a powerful lady. Yeah. And then to see her confined to a bed for the rest of the time that I saw. And then when I moved to New York. Yeah. When I was 23 or 24, when I when I first moved to New York.

Yeah. I stayed with them because I didn't have any money and my grandparents lived in this neighborhood that was really deteriorating. Their next door neighbor, like the fucking the the DEA broke down his front door with a battering ram crack and shit. Shit.

Oh, man. Heavy. The neighborhood got heavy. Yeah.

But to stay with them while, you know, they're in the twilight of their life and my grandmother was in really bad shape. Yeah. So she would like moan all the time, make these horrible noises really for four years.

Kind of a thing. We were. Yeah. Yeah. Lasted a long time man.

But it made, it made me, the lesson was OK your you have to really savor the moments because they can go away. Yeah. They can go away quick. And also you got to take care of your body. Yeah. You have to. And no one from her generation did go with it. They were just trying to survive. And she was a kid during the Depression. Yeah. So people that were kids during the Depression man they were scared.

Yeah.

They didn't eat. They had no joke. Not like oh now I'm starving. Like real starving. Yeah. Like terrifying. Yeah. Terrifying times. Yeah. No, no.

And you saw how they treated food that whole generation. Like my grandmother wouldn't throw anything out if there was no waste because they always felt like you could right around the corner.

Could be another time when you're not going to have also you didn't cook anything new, you just ate the leftovers.

You had to eat your fucking leftovers. You cook some new shit. That's right. You know. I know. I know. It's always feel wasteful when I think of it.

Yeah, well, that's one thing that hunting does for sure. Like, you feel very differently about things that you don't use. Yeah, it's not the same. It's like if I, if I don't use, you know, a piece of chicken, I don't feel as bad. Right. But if I don't use a piece of elk like, oh my God, I feel terrible. Yeah. I'm always erring on the side of cooking a little or make some so I can eat the next day, but I eat it the next day like I like to eat it.

With like there's a Chipotle line mayonaise that primal kitchen makes, oh, yeah, it's like avocado oil, mayonnaise, and it's got a little bit of kick to it.

I eat the elk in the morning with Coledale. Yes. Yeah. Cold elk with this Chipotle line. Oh, that smell so good. Yes. Avocado oil. Super good for you.

Taste delicious. That's good. And it gives you the facts too, because you know that looks super clean. Yeah.

That's so good. That stuff is so good. I mean, I've been living on it all during quarantine. It's crazy, right. So good. Yeah. So good.

I mean even like when I bought one steak during the time from from the supermarket and it just wasn't as good. It's like I can't.

Yeah. I can't even explain why it's a different kind of meat. Yeah. It's just you got to realize those are warriors'.

Yeah. You're eating Warriors'. Yeah.

Like I know them. Like I snuck up on them. Right. Like this is not a it's not conjecture.

Yeah. This is fact's isn't from a pen. I was actually there while they were screaming. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You got to honor that. There's not.

So the connection to it first of all it's better for you for sure. Yeah. Like it feels better for Tammas. Good. Yeah.

And also there's a connection that just doesn't exist with your food. Yeah. In any other way.

It's even if you grow some grow some of these great like I've grown vegetables and fruit and stuff and eaten and it feels good that you're eating something.

Yeah. Oh 100 percent.

But when you eat a piece of elk from an animal that you stalked, shot with a bow and arrow that's off the charts, got about connections off the charts, it's got to be.

Yeah, it's, I mean because even even just knowing you and knowing that you hunted for it. Yeah.

Has an effect on my eating it to show you a video of that animal getting shot. Right. You can almost be there when it happened. Yeah. Yeah that's. Yeah it's heavy. It's different. It's totally different.

Well, this is a thing that happened during this quarantine. So many people got interested in hunting.

Big shift. Yeah, giant shift because people realized, oh, this food supply chain, this might not be stable. That's right. Like if you can't drive a truck because everybody's got the zombie plague, how the fuck do I get a hamburger? Yeah, don't get a hamburger. Wendy's is out of hamburgers.

Yeah, I know about that. No, Wendy's really fucking Wendy's.

They ran out of hamburgers. Yeah. They don't have any beef cheese. Right.

So that's not everywhere. And they don't want people to fucking panic and they think they can solve all this. And in fact I think didn't the government step in and say they were going to start buying people's meat and milk to make sure that the supply chain doesn't get interrupted because of financial hardship? Jeez, they want to make sure these farms don't fucking go under. Right? Right. So our food getting we're not growing anything. We're not where where are we going to have food?

So there's a lot of people that started thinking about hunting, like, isn't it funny?

Like all that stuff cooking at home. How about gun, the bread baking at home, the the hunting, all those things that you had to do for centuries?

Yes. And then only in this brief moment have you not had to do any of that stuff, you know what I mean?

Those food chains like Wendy's like I mean, that's a new thing that became that easy.

And then all of a sudden it's back to being worried about where the food comes. Yeah, like that. Yeah. Well, Wendy says they have plenty of burgers, but they had a small problem at some stores because they deliver fresh beef and they want to keep it fresh.

Yeah, they ran out. They ran out. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Nobody ever thought that would happen to some Wendy's places.

How many stores was it where they ran on it?

To some, it doesn't seem to all of them stop lying to beef. It's really ironic because remember their commercial, where's the beef? The beef. That's really the thing they put back out.

Like, where's the beef? Yeah, they're really good at. Oh, that's what they said. And since you've been asking. Yeah, funny. Well, it's because that's whether burgers are delicious. Yeah.

Like if you have a choice but you know 1:00 in the morning that's my spot. Oh yeah. Yeah. If there's nothing else open like I know there, if I go to Wendy's it's way better than most of those places.

I never go there fresh eating the eating the elk too is what's interesting is and it might be what they add to it, but like if I go to a steakhouse and have a steak, I can't sleep at night, like I'm having meat sweats and she's like, oh god. Yeah, it feels weird eating.

I could eat the same amount of the elk and it's I think I just digested quicker.

I think all that bred bacteria in your stomach, it won't tolerate any incoming troops from you, some other factions, you know, because you get the gut flora. I think, you know, that happens. Like if people that eat a lot of sugar, you eat a lot of candy, your body starts craving that shit and your gut flora wants candy all the time. Oh, really? Does that candida that's that's called that type of. Yeah, it's one of the one of the gut floras.

Right.

No I good I have really good gut flora for steak but yeah. Like if I eat a big steak at a steak but it's also tons of butter and.

Oh yeah. You know, who knows what else you're eating with it. But I think it's just lean, I think it's just lean. It's very different. Yeah.

It has an energy to it too. Yeah. Oh dear me. Does as well dear me. It has an energy to it. Yeah.

Because that's what my brother in law and sister in Jersey from hunting. They just living on that.

Do you think you could ever hunt.

I, I don't know. I think probably. Yeah. Yeah. You know we should try, I could try to go to Lana'i. Lana'i. Yeah. Because there's an animal there called the Axis Deer that we hunt and it's really delicious. It's also an invasive species, the way too many of them. They hire snipers to come in and shoot the deer. Right. It's not like anything you've ever seen. Yeah. Lynnae has 3000 people.

Super nice people. Yeah, really cool place. 30000 deer. Dude, it's crazy. These are just estimates might be 20000, 30000, they don't know there's so many. So is it even feel like hunting? I guess because.

Well, for me, because I'm doing it with a bow and arrow. Very difficult. Very difficult. But for a rifle hunter, it's 100 percent success rate, right?

100 percent. Yeah, but they you will actually be doing good shots, right? You look at it, you can look at it one way. You could say, oh, is it even hunting. Yeah. Well, what's your goal? Is your goal for it to be really difficult or is your goal to be successful in gathering meat in an ethical way? Right. So if your goal is just to get the meat and ethical way, it's 100 percent successful.

Right. Because and it's 100 percent a good thing to do because they have to do it anyway. And the food is great for you.

Yeah, I know that. Look, it's it's kind of similar to golf in a way. Golf is a really great game. It's really it's thoughtful. It's there's bonding with it. It's a it's challenging. It's all that stuff.

And then there's a faction of it that's filled with douchebags, filled with guys who you don't want to talk to, you don't want to be friends with, who are just big blowhard douchebags, finance guys.

Right.

And there's I'm sure in hunting and in everything else, there's that same thing. It's people like what you just described is like, I would do that in a second. Yeah. And then there's other people that just kind of like abuse it and have like we're throwing our beer cans into the wall.

There's way less of those people than you would imagine. Yeah, it's way more people that respect it. That's good. But there's also different kinds of hunting, like there's some there's mountain hunting in like Colorado or Utah or Wyoming or Montana.

That's the hardest shit. That's gorgeous. There's like a special level of hunter.

That's like a fitness fanatic backpacking ride. This is that's the top of the food chain world is like the bow hunter that lives off his back, that goes into public ground and hikes the ban in training 12 miles in shoots and elk carries it out on his back, literally takes like eight trips to do it.

God, those are those are like athletes that get their food from hunting. That's crazy.

Yeah, those are I never thought of that. Like, what happens?

How do you get it out of the woods? You my friend Adam Green Tree, he was he's the guy who shot that buffalo up. Wow. He went to Colorado. It was I went to a couple different places. Yeah. Where he was out in the woods for 28 days by himself.

So low, 28 days, 28 days until he finally got an elk and he put it all on his Instagram and then he had a pack the elk out. But in those twenty eight days, he documented everything on his Instagram stories.

And one of them, he had a fucking encounter with a grizzly bear. So Grizzly Bear kept bluff charging him and he had a pistol that had the wrong round in it. So the pistol wasn't even effective. So he's pointing a gun at the grizzly bear. And if you're looking at it, you can tell that the gun is jammed like the the bullet isn't even in the it's not even in the chamber.

Oh, my God. It's the wrong around.

So he was pointing the dummy gun thinking he's going to stop this bear. The bear's just running at them. And he didn't even realize it until after this was over, that the gun didn't work. He got the gun from somebody else to protect him from bears is out there. Oh, my God.

Twenty eight days. That's a long time.

But there's videos of the bears like looking at him standing.

Watch this video. Right. Oh, that's him, that's it. It was. She comes up to Thomas, but you see how the guns jammed. See that hole right there opening? That's because the rounds not in the chamber.

So so he's get the still and she's not aware of in the background.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's going to drop down and then you realize, oh my God, that's a bear.

Oh my God. Oh yeah. Oh my God.

And she kept charging them. Holy cow. Love charged him three times. Oh. When he comes around. Yeah.

That's what he thinks. And they just decide that you're a threat and sometimes they follow you around too. Oh my God.

Where are you sleeping that night. Can't you know you've been in a tent.

Yeah. You know what else they do? They put these little electric fences around their tents. Oh yeah. To protect themselves. A little battery powered fences accuse the balloons.

I never heard that. Yeah, they do that in grizzly country. Wow. Yeah, that is that new. That sounds, you know, they've been doing over the last four decades. Really.

Yeah. I wonder when they invented that. It's pretty cool though.

They sit on the ground and then they, they have a big car battery that powers the whole fucking thing. Get up to pee at night.

I piss on it. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. That's a different kind of reaction to your food. Yeah. He takes it on a whole nother level. I don't do that. Yeah. I'm not good enough to do that.

But there's something to all those kind of it's just being thoughtful about any stage of it. Like your grandmother making the pasta. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That, that thing that she's actually doing it. Yeah.

That, that action changes it, it changes her, her relation to it. The relation that she has in feeding somebody else. Yeah. For sure. It's, there's a there's something deep about that.

Yeah. And there's something cool too about ethnic food that comes from like the people that are there, the immigrants themselves. Yeah. And they brought this food over. I mean my parents, my grandparents came over here when they were young.

Like it's not like they they were actually driving the boat. Yeah. They were, they were just kids. Yeah. Once they got to America, but they carried with them this like the connection to the immigrants. Yeah.

The ones who actually decided they were going to take their babies and get on a boat and go across the ocean with no job prospects, not really sure what was going to happen.

Never been in the place before. Didn't even have a picture of it. Probably your first trip is I'm moving there.

How crazy is that? Fuck. And then and you've got kids. So they were they were young kids. Yeah. Both my grandparents. Yeah, mine too. Same thing. Crazy same thing.

Imagine being you if you had no job prospects and you had two young children and you go, okay, this is what we're going to do, we're going to put everybody in a boat.

Yeah. And we're going to go to the other side of the planet because I heard this job there.

Yeah, no, no kidding. Please fuck. How about the people that are just walking with their kids, just walking, just going towards something else? I mean, the desperation of people to be in that spot. Oh, yeah.

Well, how about people before houses?

You still have kids, so babies. But you can't lock them in the house. You haven't invented houses yet.

Yes. Yeah.

I mean, really stop to think about all the hardships that other human beings have faced.

No, I know that makes our hardship seem so trivial. And I think that's part of the problem that people are saying, OK, yeah, this isn't great. Right. This this pandemic is not good for anybody. But I don't know if you guys are handling it the way I would handle it. And I don't know if you should be able to tell me how I can handle it. I don't know. I don't know if this is logical anymore and that we have to accept these hard times and we have to figure out another way to do other than just standing still and waiting for it to go away.

Yeah, yeah.

It's very strange because, I mean, is kind of a and still know, I think, about how short it's been that we've had to figure it out.

I mean, we're quick about March, April, May, three months of like trying to figure out what how real the threat is and what we're going to do with it.

I mean, it's just I was driving down the street and I saw this lady walk across the street with a mask on. And I was like, oh, yeah, there's a pandemic going on.

Right. Well, you know, I'm saying I know for a moment I got so used to how weird everything is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. And I see this lady walking across the street. I was like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. We're in the middle of that. This is this is happening. Yeah. This is going to be one of those things where we look back. That's the moment where I realized that life doesn't follow a pattern like the movies, that life is just weirdly random. And sometimes you find out that the people that are in charge of making the decisions for everybody else are no better at it than you or I.

They're just they're just they just have the job of doing it, making it up as they go along.

Right. I know. I know.

And if if it was up to you, Tom, Papa, you're a funny guy. Once you tell us how we should restart the economy. Yeah, right. Exactly.

Yeah. And one of your decisions, people are going to be dying on your watch regardless of which way you go. Yeah. We're going to blame you. Yeah. And you're going to be blame for it.

You see that lady don't envy them at all. Do you see that lady who got into it? Trump No.

This reporter, first of all, she was asking a question with a mask on, which is like, settle down.

So crazy. Everybody there had to have him, but he didn't have a mask on and she took it off when she got mad. She did play it, by the way. Everybody there, she took it off when she got mad. So this is what it happened.

He was saying she was saying, why are you bragging about how many Americans have been tested? And that the United States tests more people than anybody. Right. When 80000 people have died, like, why is this a competition for you?

And so he says he said that you should ask China. He said people are dying everywhere. If you want to you want to ask someone about that, you should ask China. Mm hmm. And she says, why did you say that specifically to me? Because she's Asian. Oh, so and then and then he goes, thank you, next question to someone else and then his lady steps in and she was going to she was like, I have a question.

She's in. And she wanted to let her talk. It was going to give her question to that lady. So she should ask again. This is something the reporter is doing now. It's adorable. The president says next person and he goes, Sir, yes, you he goes, I'd like to give my colleague this question. And then they give it back to her. So the reporters are forcing him to ask questions in a really sneaky way.

And it seems like it seems like they're all in on it. So when one of them has like some sort of a contentious exchange with the president, the president says next. So they say, sir, over here I was you. I'd like to give this question to my colleague. It's some crazy keep away game you're playing.

And, you know, he goes and she goes, why are you saying that specifically to me? You know, because she's Asian. And he goes, I'm not saying specifically to anybody. I'm just saying you should ask China.

Right. It's kind of crazy. Like, watch this. The US is doing far better than any other country when it comes to testing. Yes, why does that matter? Why is this a global competition to you with every day? Americans are still losing their lives and we're still seeing more cases every day.

Well, they're losing their lives everywhere in the world. And maybe that's a question you should ask China. Don't ask me has China that question, OK? When you ask them that question, you may get a very unusual answer. Yes. Behind you, please. And all that here goes. Well, she gets mad.

That to me specifically, I'm telling you, I'm not saying it specifically to anybody. I'm saying it to anybody who would ask a nasty question. Please go ahead.

Why does it matter? OK, anybody else, please go ahead. Watch. Listen, I have to go now. It's OK. But to me, I have two questions. This next next place you did. You called on me. I did.

And you didn't respond. And now I'm calling. I'm sorry. I just the young lady in the back, please. I just want to let my colleague. OK, we can ask ladies and gentlemen, I just want to let my colleagues.

Thank you. They know how to do this. They have this little sneaky move. They've done it before.

It's pretty interesting if they've come up with ways to deal with get around the angry substitute teacher.

And so strange to see a guy who's the president, regardless of whether or not you think he's handling anything.

Well, it's so strange to see that that's such he's supposed to be the media guy, right?

He's supposed to be the guy that's like savvy, the savvy television performer guy.

Right. To handle that that poorly.

Yeah, I know. I don't understand why it would take so little for him to have his numbers would be through the roof.

But this is what happens. They're playing a game. Right. And they just won that hand because the game is talk condescending to you. Right. Why is it a competition to you when all these people are dying? Right. He said people are dying all over the world. If you want to know why, I should ask China. That's a good answer to a question. It's a gotcha question. But then she makes it racial.

I know, because it wasn't necessarily shown with a with a hard chair. He did China, but he does the China.

But that's still not racist. I know. So if he was talking to a white man. Yeah. And the white man said that to him and he said you should ask China, he would say the same thing. Yes. Yes. It's just the worst case scenario.

That question gets asked by a lady with a mask on her Asian child.

Then she gets mad and she takes the mask off. Let motherfuckers know she's not even playing by the rules anymore. Yeah.

Are you racist? You know, it is a it is a beehive of an environment there it is, but it's also I don't know if that's helping anybody to chastise him well, to get him riled up. And I don't think it's helping anybody the way he's biting.

No, this I mean, you know, it's a complete breakdown of what that they used to be. Yeah. It's not what it used to be in this weird gotcha competition. And then him getting pissy. Yeah. And the fact that he stormed off like that.

So it's a TV show. It's watching a TV show. We're not watching the adult telling us if it's going to be OK.

You're so right. And during a pandemic, that is the worst time for some shit. Like that's the worst.

I just he just wants some consolidation of real information.

Just tell me how to do. I remember after 9/11, people hated Bush.

They thought he was really dumb and he couldn't spell. And then that was that was Dan Quayle. But that was his insurance policy, right?

Yeah. Quayle was so boring. People hated Bush going into they hated him, hated him.

But then after 9/11, he had some speeches that made even people that I knew there were hard core liberals like, all right, I love this guy. I love it's a moment when you rally.

Yeah, well, he really rose to the occasion to. Yeah. George Bush after 9/11. He gave people a sense of comfort.

That's right. That's why want you see people craving and we're craving. That's why when that's why when Cuomo and Newsom speak and they just give you reassuring. Yeah. Very, very controlled. This isn't a people gravitate. You're just like, OK, you just want to hear that.

You just want a Giuliani was the same way after 9/11.

It was like, OK, you're making me feel better. That made Giuliani's reputation the way like like a leader 100 percent.

Yeah, it's some you don't you don't pit people against each other in a tragedy. And it's unfortunate that he can't see that and he keeps getting caught. It's like, you know what it's like?

It's like he's boxing with someone who's piecing them up. Like these things keep happening. So he keeps having these exchanges where he's like heated exchanges and words get said. And it's bizarre.

Well, it's really strange was the one where he went off the fucking script where he's talking about therapies. Yeah. Maybe we could get some disinfection that kills it in a minute and then a cleansing. You see the woman next?

Yeah, I'm coming out of her head. She's taking deep breaths. She doesn't pass out in the middle of it.

She's like, oh, so then after that he responds that, you know, he was sarcastic. Yeah. The reporters asking me say sarcastically, he should have said, look, I'm not a doctor. This is just an idea because that's really what it was.

It was like I might have done that on a podcast if I was trying to be to say, got to you, I saw you. I've never seen you smoke that much weed.

I could get there. If you leave me alone long enough, I'll say something that I said the dumbest shit in my life on this podcast. I'm not that high. But here's a thing.

What came out of it? What's really fascinating. Yeah, there was an actual publicly traded biotech company that came up with an idea to get when in intubated people to get a ultraviolet light tube down through that into the lungs and illuminate because using ultraviolet light, you can kill bacteria and viruses. And that's one of the reasons why they have those things like sterile pens where you go backpacking, you can get some water out of a creek and you just use this ultraviolet light.

It kills everything inside that water. Right. So they they actually have this bio company, publicly traded company, put out this video on how this can be done. Well, their account was banned from Twitter. Oh, really, because it's a real company gets to a real company and they let them back eventually. Yeah, but this is how toxic this relationship with the president is. Well, the president says something on TV. Yeah.

And then people go, what the fuck did you say? Get right into people. And then this publicly traded biotech companies like actually we have already been working on that. And this is the concept and this is the science behind it because UV light kills. But fuck you, your band. They banned them. They banned a biotech company from Twitter.

Now, they brought them back once it was explained to them. Yeah, but any other time in history, like, say, if this was going on, you know, 10 years ago and there was a virus and the virus is infecting people's respiratory systems and someone said while these people were being intubated, we can actually stick a light through the same tube that the ventilator uses and will illuminate the lungs. We could actually probably kill a good deal, this bacteria.

Oh, medical breakthrough. Right.

And this is a complete disintegration, right? Well, it's a that's the result of a breakdown. And that's what's been so that's why it doesn't work in communist countries. Like, you can't trust the source for your information. Right. That's what we're at in a democracy where no one can trust the source.

We're all scrambling like does this one know? Does this one note?

Does this one it's a direct result of his toxic relationship with the press. Yes, because people are so people who with him or so with him and people are against him, are so against. And it's almost like people with him part of the reason why they're with them, because they're so against all these other fucking whiny, bitchy liberal people, that fucking that's just so annoying.

No, I'm going with Trump. He tells them to fuck off. That's my favorite part. Right.

He makes them he makes those people angry. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's a terrible relationship. So it's bad for everybody. It's awful because in any moment we should be uniting and taking care of each other.

It's now he could make a big difference to us because he's like different. If someone could get on television and come up with something that was not just comforting, but actually accurate and useful.

Yeah. Give us something to do. Yes. Tell us what to do. Yes. As if we could all act as one for the good of the country.

We would come out of this stronger, better, ready to go. Because we always my our whole life, we grew up thinking we're Americans, we can do anything.

We can do it. Just give us a challenge. We can do it. Yeah.

And to now have this break down like, no, it's we're split apart and doing separate things that only that's the only time you're in people's lives where things are failing, businesses are failing.

And they did everything right. Right. I know they did all the right things right. We're got a hard thing busting ass. They were smart, they saved their money. They invested, they got a thing going. It's getting going. And we got a successful business. They developed a great relationship in the community and then. That's right.

Shut down for months. Now it's piling up. No one's getting paid. Your mortgage is due, your car payments do, your credit cards are do you got to buy food? Fuck. And you see how quick that goes away. And it's so quick. So when you hear shit like stay at home until July. Fuck you.

Yeah. Fuck you. You can't just say that.

No, you can't just say that. Well, I think it's from a health care person who's making the suggestion. But I think the it's not the right decision.

There's other options. Do you think a better option is quarantining the people that are sick? I don't know if that's. Yeah, look, I don't know if that's possible because I'm a moron and I just talk about entitlements. But I think it's not even my idea. It's an idea that everybody's had a lot of people have had many, many people. If you're really vulnerable, don't go.

If you've got a bad knee, you don't get to ski. True, right. You know. Yeah, it's true. We'll be all right, Joe. We're going to be OK.

We better be Tom. Papa, we're going to be all right. Getting bored.

I know. Me too. I can't wait. Oh, I can't wait to be walking into the walking into the club, seeing you in the back, hearing the crowd out front.

I know all that energy. Looking forward to a lot of things. Yeah, me too. It's a lot of things.

Musso and Franks, I'm looking forward to not feeling bad, but not about me. Not at all about seeing all these stories. I was reading this guy's Twitter pages jiujitsu guy that I follow. And there's this lady who owns this this gym.

It's Tom to blast Tom Dibella A-s he on his Instagram. He had this for photos of this lady crying because her gym is going under and this gym that she's had for ten years. Right. And that they can't survive it. Yeah. And so you see shit like that, you're like this is another example. Like someone who didn't do anything wrong. I know. And then all their hard work just goes away. This is the lady.

It's horrible. Yeah, that's terrible. It's horrible.

I know. What does the show rally, she's motivated. She could build that business, she'll be back. Ironside Fitness Gym, she can do it, she'll go into personal training. Yeah, see at the bottom, if you can find the answer, what is what is the Instagram account is not. You didn't tag it.

Yeah, well, I don't know where that is. I think he's a Jersey guy. Yeah.

Fuck. Yeah, I know. Just that kind of shit. I know.

Let's get out of this right now for the people who lost their lives, that's way worse. Of course it's way worse. No one's saying it's not. But this is this is fucking sad, too, man. Yeah. It's sad that people build up these incredible communities. They build up this relationship with their customers and with the people around them. And then it all goes away.

Yeah, no, it's brutal. I know it's hard from China.

China. I'll be trying to ask. Damn. Just turn down the chair.

What bad luck he got. That lady was Asian.

Is that what if she said that if if he was talking to anyone else, you know, and they said that they were masked, they wouldn't be able to say, why are you saying that specifically to me? Yeah, you're right. Like it was a black man asking her that question or asking him that question in China.

Why are you saying that specifically to me?

She pulls the mask down. Why? To me? No, I know.

And also, she's, like, yelling with no mask on now. Yeah. Like, you're violating all the rules. You can't just get mad, like, fuck everybody, you're going to die. Yeah. OK, I brought her the worst virus everywhere, horrible environment, one for him, then he must be like, I can't win. Horrible. All I did my life is win, win, win, win, win, win.

Rappers used to put me in their songs when he came out and talked about the ratings that he was getting. Oh my God. It was just like, all right, I'm not, I can't.

He said the ratings were higher than the season final of The Bachelor. Like, what does what he said? And that's when I was like, this is not real. What are you can't be real.

What are you thinking? This can't be real. Yeah, it's so crazy.

That's the opposite of what we're saying George Bush did after 9/11, right, Rally? Yes. Be a leader. That's what leadership is. Say something that makes you get inspired. Ronald Reagan was the best that show.

Yeah. Just rally you. You made you feel like, oh, we can do it. Yeah, we could do anything before people hated him. They didn't hate him really.

Until, like, his second term, though. Yeah. By the end, people were really out of them.

Parts of the country always just like them. If you were poor, you're a minority. Yes. He was never your you were never a fan.

But but he would give a speech. Yeah. Oh. Powerful voice. He was an actor.

Yeah, he was an actor. He's a reality shit star. That's what those. Right. That's what reality stars are. They stir shit up. Right.

Reagan was an actor who could give you the big monologue. Yeah. It's a difference.

Do you remember when he's I don't know if you ever saw this, but he was addressing the United Nations and he was talking about how quickly we would all join together if we were faced with a force from outside this world.

Right now, it's crazy speech because all the UFO people went nuts.

He knows. He fucking knows. Right. It's a great speech, though. Yeah, because it's true. Yeah, it's true.

Like, we would realize our differences are aliens had invaded us. We would all unite as human beings. Right.

That's what's that's what's weird about this. Like you could kind of have that moment now. Yes, exactly. That's why I brought it up. Yeah.

That's how someone could say that we we need to unite. Yeah.

Someone could say this is us, but they have to say it in the way of planet Earth. It can't be self-congratulatory. Not at all. You take yourself out of it. But he does too much of that.

You put it in the power of the people you're talking to. That's the technique.

But imagine being him where your whole life you've gotten ahead because you're self-congratulatory. But that's his whole thing. Yeah, that's his whole thing is just letting everybody know you're the shit, right.

Then all of a sudden you can't do them anymore. I how much can you make an adjustment in your 70s. Yeah. While you're the president. Yeah. And you have to make an adjustment to be someone who you've never been all of a sudden you know you shit.

Yeah. You can't even say or the shit know what a terrible job.

So awful much rather be a comedian.

Oh you'd much rather be publishing Tom Popper. You're doing great. It's available now everywhere. Audio book available now.

Everybody's to for sure. Yeah. Thanks to other regions of your life and my pleasure brother. Yeah. Really appreciate and always have to come out on the podcast. Yes we'll do it. Teach teach me your ways with that baby. Was it break bread making and where's the podcast available to breaking bread.

Where are your podcasts are available or wherever you get them. Visual as well. On YouTube. Yeah. YouTube. Yeah. I mean Sagara do the first one together and it's really great. He told all these great stories about his, his grandmother making all his mom making all these sweets.

I'm telling you, just once you start talking about food to talk more. Yes. Your grandma will do it for sure. Right. I love you, buddy. You're the best. I love you, too. Bye, everybody.

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