Hello, everybody, I have an announcement. The podcast is moving to Spotify. I signed a multi-year licensing agreement with Spotify that will start on September 1st, starting on September 1st. The entire Jarry Library will be available on Spotify as well as all the other platforms. Then somewhere around the end of the year, it will become exclusive to Spotify, including the video version of the podcast. It will be the exact same show. I'm not going to be an employee of Spotify.

We're going to be working on the same crew, doing the exact same show. The only difference will be it will now be available on the largest audio platform in the world. Nothing else will change. It will be free. It will be free to you. You just have to go to Spotify to get it. We're very excited to begin this new chapter of the Jarry. And I hope you're there when we cross over.

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My friends, my guest today is one of the best standup comics alive. He's a great guy.

He's he's done too many things to name. And he has a new Netflix special that's coming out tomorrow. It's called I Love Everything.

And his name is Peyton Oswal government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, trained by day job, podcast by night all day.

All right, we're rolling. Patane Oswal.

How are you, fellow? I'm good. How are you doing, man? It's good to see you.

I wish I saw you right here. Wish I could give you a hug. I wish we weren't in the plague, but I know it is weird. It is very weird, I've been trying to do your show, you know this for so long, my schedule is always insane. The drive for me is restricted because I'm usually shooting something or doing voice over or something.

So it it took a plague.

And I know we see each other like ships passing in the night at the Comedy Store. That's my relationship with you. Exactly.

I see you in the parking lot going in or I'm going in. You're coming out. Something weird. God, how much do you miss? Just the just going in with a notebook of stuff and just trying it out, see if it works.

It's making me appreciate everything. You know, the downside of it. I mean I can look at the negative. Yes, I miss it. Yes, I'm frustrated. But the positive side of it, I appreciate everything. I appreciate comics. I appreciate just be able to talk to you. I appreciate just having my friends that I can communicate with and just talking shit to each other and make each other laugh and saying horrible things over text messages. I appreciate I appreciate that.

I appreciate that.

If this comes back, if we get to do standup again, ever, I just feel like comedians are going to be so much more social and just happy to be with each other and appreciate the being around people where you can run jokes and they're honest enough to tag something brilliant or tell you, dude, I know you think it's funny, it's so lame. Don't run down that road like I missed that show because I, I'm trying to sit down and write every day.

I don't know what your process is. My process is to write general ideas and then work them out on stage and then work them out with friends just sitting and actually writing it. No matter how detailed I make it, I don't know if it's funny or not to, like, get it up there.

Yes, it's a weird disconnect, isn't it. Yeah, my process is very similar. I write like an essay form and then I extract stuff out of that. I turn that in the bits that work and occasionally I don't write it at all.

Occasionally an idea just comes and I start going with it and then I build it up on stage. That's rare, though. Most of the time it comes from an essay.

Yeah. And I also I miss the deleting of stuff where you write something down or you have to, then your mind is awesome and you go up on stage at the beginning. Part's great and the end part's great. You like this whole middle section?

I thought I was going to be George Carlin and it's just I could lose all of that bit in this bit. And that's what it is.

Yeah. It's a weird art form where we're, I think the only art form that I'm aware of that you must have an audience in order to fully create it.

You can't it doesn't get created in a vacuum. No, and I logged on to some early zoom open mikes to watch them, I logged on hopefully thinking maybe they'll be nice five minutes. And I'm like, this is to oh, God, it's happening.

Like it's opened up for you, doesn't it? So, like, when you watch someone is really terrible. It makes you think I'm never nothing's funny. I can't do comedy, it doesn't exist.

Or you watch someone who you know is great, but they're trying it over zoom and their mouth is dry, talking 90 miles an hour.

And you're like, maybe, maybe we shouldn't be doing this all.

I think it's and people are going to record those sets to those those sets are going to be recorded.

But are you you have a mix of people coming in, live in person with you and then people doing it over remote, right?

Yes. Yes. Most people coming in live. And I test all those people. They come in, they get the test. Yeah, but if you get the test and you're negative, you can still get it, right?

Well, you could get it right after you walk out the door. Right. It really depends on what you're being in contact with and what you're doing if you're smart.

But, you know, thankfully, everyone's honest, like they don't.

No one said, hey, I don't feel so good. Maybe I shouldn't do this. That would be weird. You're real lucky. Everybody's been negative, but we tested a lot of people. Dan, who is Tim Dylan's producer? He had a false positive. And so we had to give him a second test and we gave him a nose swab and it turned out he was negative. But it's iffy stuff, you know, until we really can tell.

And then what are you going to give up for them to know? Are you going to give up contact tracing? Are you are you willing to do that? Are you really going to have something on your phone that shows who you've been in contact with and who your phone has come near and whether or not they're negative or positive, like, oh, that's a slippery slope.

I'm very worried.

And also, are there ways this is again, I know so little about it on a testing level. Are there ways if you get tested that they can go, oh, you actually had it and you recovered from it? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, we do, too. Yeah, yeah. There's two different. When you do an antibody test, there's one line that shows where whether it's an active virus and there's another line that shows that it's just the antibodies of a virus that you got and recovered from. And a lot of people that recover from it, apparently they didn't even know they had it. They had no idea they had it.

Yeah, I had I have a couple of friends who were convinced they had it back in January. They had every symptom that they talk about and they just thought, oh, well, it's flu season. I've got a shitty flu. And they recovered. And probably they don't want to go out and get tested right now because they don't want to go out.

So, yeah, I feel like I had it. So everybody thinks that.

Everybody thinks that. But here's the thing. Like all the old colds are still around, like the common cold, the flu, all that stuff still around. The flu is different every year, still around. It's like you most likely didn't have it. And, you know, yeah, it's like it's obviously a really fucked up disease that gets you if it really gets you, it's really fucked up. But it's it varies so much. It's so hard to feel confident one way or another.

It's so hard. Like I vacillate, I go back and forth all day long, like there's parts of my day where I'm not worried about it at all. And there's parts of my day where I'm like, fuck, what if this mutates, you know? Right.

Or what if I just did something that I thought was safe and but now I've met the new strain. And yeah, in two weeks ago, remember how we told you to do this? You actually need to be doing. And it was and I also think it freaks me out as they don't know what the long term after effects are for this, even if you recover from it. They're thinking that there could be long term bronchial issues, respiratory issues.

They don't know yet.

Yeah, they really have no idea. I was reading about this article in the Times today about children that get it, get a particular type of inflammatory disorder that's causing one kid was like fourteen years old. He got heart failure. It's very rare. And all the people that have gotten it, it's like less than two hundred people have got this disorder. Most children, when they come in contact with this disease, don't have an issue, but some of them do.

In this one particular kid, basically, he was fourteen. He was having heart failure and they don't know why. They don't know. Like, it's not what they used to think. It was just a respiratory disease. And now they're like, well, what is this? So it's like these are new things they're trying to figure out as they go along.

Again, we're talking about this now because we are going through this. I just feel like and again, I don't like to predict the future if we do get to go back to doing comedy, I just feel like I'll never talk about this on stage. The last thing people are going to want to see on stage is my funny covid story, which is going to be just a variation on everyone's funny covid story. So there's no real I'm not going to inflict that on an audience.

If you go up tenth at the store on a Wednesday night, it's covered, bro.

Someone is covered it way better than you. Yeah. On let's move on.

Yeah, I think it's one of those things. It's going to be a real problem for comics, you know.

I mean, yeah, I hear what you're saying, but on the other hand, someone will come along like a tell or someone will come along. You have the perfect take on it and you're like, oh well, there it is, you know.

Yeah. Picked off or whatever. On the other end of the spectrum, like Joey Diaz will come up and do the rawest, most personal, uncomfortable, but also brilliant take where you like, where you might actually have a unique story of after hearing jokes like, yeah, I don't need to share and that.

Exactly. That's an interesting day, right?

Yeah. That one's going to have a crazy story that you're going to go, well I don't know.

Yeah. Someone to nail it. And hopefully someone who's I think first dibs go to people who caught it. Yeah, let them. Yeah, if a comedian actually gets it, maybe they get to do the bit first.

Yeah. Like Michael Yo, Michael Yo almost died. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, he got it real bad. Yeah, he actually was here in studio the week before he went to New York. He was burning the candle at both ends, flies to New York with no sleep, does radio, does all the promo shows, does everything, does stand up at Gotham, flies back with no sleep, drives the next day to Vegas and home from Vegas in the same day with his family kids screaming.

Then he has auditions for the next two days, stressed out, burnt out boom. Then it hits them. And when it hit him, it was he felt like shit. Then his friend, while he was suffering, one of his friends who was a doctor told him to take Advil because he said he had a headache because he gets migraines, he takes that bill, boom. It goes off the deep end and then he gets it real bad.

And he was in the hospital for a week. And the doctor, you know, they were talking about putting him on a ventilator.

This is the early days of the disease very early. This is like the beginning of March, I think end of February and the February, beginning of March, I think somewhere around there. But early, early when they didn't really know his doctors wise, his doctor says if we put him on a ventilator, his heart is just going to his lungs are just going to give up. And he could die so they don't put him on a ventilator. Then it turns out in New York City, they don't know if this is a correlation or causation, obviously.

But 80 percent of the people they put on the ventilators wound up dying. And his doctor. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Could be that they wound up dying because they were so far gone. They were going to die anyway. Could be right. They were going to die because of what this doctor said, because if you put people on a ventilator when they're their lungs are working and then the lungs don't have to work anymore, they give up.

That's what his doctor was essentially saying was going to happen to him if they put him on the ventilator. So they didn't put him on it. They put them on that hydroxy chloroquine shit and didn't he didn't react well to it. It made him feel worse. So he got off of that and then slowly got back to feeling better and better. And to this day, he's been out of the hospital, I think, a month, and he can only do like two chin ups.

He's a really strong, active, like like really healthy guy. Normally, he can only do like two chin ups. He's listless, has very little energy. Just feel still feels like he's still struggling. He came in, he looked great. He looked totally normal. I would not know if he didn't tell me, but he still feels like he's got fatigue. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure the body battling that, it's like, OK, you need to shut down.

Yes, we can build you back up. You cannot go back to whatever your regimen is. Let yourself wind down.

Another thing he had was a vitamin D deficiency. And I didn't know about that until after I did a podcast with Dr. Rhonda Patrick. And she was talking about studies that have been done in New Orleans and Indonesia and several different studies. One of the things they've shown is the people that are in critical care or in the ICU. There's a large percentage, in some cases over 80 percent of them are vitamin D deficient versus the people who have sufficient levels of serum, vitamin C, vitamin D in their body.

Those people, it's less than five percent. So it is four percent of them that were in the ICU. People with sufficient vitamin D and more than 80 percent of people with deficient in vitamin D is not just a vitamin. Apparently, according to her, it's actually a hormone and it regulates many things in the body and most people are deficient from it. And in the United States, more than 70 percent of people have insufficient levels of vitamin D and 29 percent are deficient to the point where it actually can cause medical issues.

But my doctors is like, take here. You take this vitamin D every day. The water, the sun, get some. That's the best way.

The best way is the sun. It's number one. Yeah, but if you can't get in the sun all the time, vitamin D supplements do work, you know, and I've seen people argue this like really the best ways the supplements are bullshit. Like, no, they're not. They're they're OK. They're just not as good as the sun. Don't be stupid. Like, look, I get my blood tested. I take vitamins and I find out what my serum levels are.

It works. You take vitamin D at higher levels. It's really simple. The sun is for sure better, though. No one's going to argue that. But for black folks, it's even harder because, you know, their their bodies are designed with all that melanin to absorb. You know, they evolved in different climates. And anybody, brown, anybody who's got darker skin, they're used to warmer climates. So they're out in the sun all the time.

So the body's protecting itself from cancer with the melanin. But unfortunately, it also prevents you from absorbing vitamin D as easily.

That's why people that live in places where it's really fucking cloudy or super pale, because they're basically like a sun, like a like a solar panel for vitamin D to just sucking as much in, you know. So it's tricky for everybody, but it's particularly tricky, trickier for people with tan skin or darker skin. Like you got to get that vitamin D and it's so important. And it's one of many factors that they think is that play with people that get really sick from this disease.

Vitamin D.

Yeah, well, that's OK. That's another thing with the disease.

It just I read Guns, Germs and Steel about the Spanish flu and the way that diseases, you know, rewire and reboot your body to benefit themselves.

So it's just it seems like we're making the same mistakes at the beginning of the Spanish flu epidemic and that there's going to be an insane spike, which is where all of the real death and destruction happen. With that, if that spike is coming because of all of these half measures and all of these, I'm not wearing a mask like that. Defiant. I'm going out you and we're just we have to brace ourselves for this other spike that's coming. It could happen.

But also what could happen is we could get an education on how to boost your immune system. I mean, one of the things that's really drive me crazy about this is there's nothing proactive about what we're being asked to do. Everyone's been asked to shelter in place. But somehow or another, it's OK to go to the grocery store. It's OK to go to Target, it's OK to go to a lot of places, but it's not OK to go to some places.

And I feel like people need to have the ability to take their own chances and need to have the ability to protect themselves. Like you need to give people the opportunity to work, especially in situations where, you know, you're dealing with people who their entire life could fall apart over these couple of months where you tell them they can't work. And there is there is a way to test people. There is a way to sanitize. There is a way to be safe.

There is a way to be smart about this. There is a way to keep your immune system strong.

And we're only looking at keep away. We're not looking at the whole spectrum of possibilities that we can do here to to move on.

I obviously everyone anyone could be should be allowed to take their own risk, except that in this case, in this scenario, you taking your own risks to other people who might not want to take that risk into those areas. And I absolutely understand that someone's life could fall apart in two months if they don't work. That's you know, I think that's more of a symptom of their not being the social safety net that we have to have out there for these kind of situations.

We're sort of seeing that in a very stark way. But what I'm saying is if we don't follow these harsh because the other the other scary thing about the Spanish flu is it kind of the the way we got over it? Is it kind of when it kind of just burned itself out? And we need to burn it out of the population that way, and it sucks that that's right now the only way we have to do it, because we clearly don't have the testing capacity.

We know it's so weird that supports, like everything you say is right. But we don't have the stuff to implement what you're saying. It's so frustrating.

What we don't have the stuff to implement what I'm saying right now. But we do have we do have the information as far as like things you can do to boost your immune system, make sure you get better, sleep, don't eat this. But then you've got people that look, you know, many kids relied on school for food and it's a huge problem right now. That's a giant problem because there's a lot of poor kids who literally relied on school in order to get their meals in.

Another family has to scramble and figure out how to come up with more money to feed these kids when they can't work like it's it's all madness.

These kids relied on school for food. They relied on school for shelter for like a safe space to actually talk to responsible adults. Some of them come from very bad home situations like it just again, all we do is cut money for schools, which is where such a big part of the population is alive because of what the schools provide.

And I don't think it has to come. I don't think it should come down to a billionaire's whim of what they want to give money to or not or your local church. There should be some kind of structure so that people can have some dignity and not have to beg. Yes. And there's also stress that goes on to the living under the stigma of, oh, he's got to get the free lunch or oh, they've got to get there's still we're so anti poor in this country.

We treat poor people like they have a disease or something or they or that they've done something wrong. And that can really fuck with kids psychologically growing up.

It really can. And one thing that I would hope out of this is the shock of all being so vulnerable.

We'll make people a little bit more humble and hopefully so hopefully dash some of the flames of materialism that have gone through our society during these soft times and people who just got really into shiny bullshit and just recognize, like, boy, we live in a very finite state. We don't have much time. We have a very fragile, very fragile. Yeah. And we're waking up to that. We we we existed in a Goldilocks period in this country, you know, from essentially a way to from World War Two on to here where there's a there's an Instagram page history.

And they had this this really sobering post about imagine if you were born and the year nineteen hundred. And then it goes on to what would happen by the time you're X years old. The Spanish flu starts by the time you're Y years old, World War two. And it just goes on and on and on and shows how fucking horrific it was for people who were born one hundred and twenty years ago.

We're just we got lucky. We hit a nice, sweet spot with the waves, weren't there? It was nice and calm. It wasn't too hot out.

And then we got cocky, except that it feels like now, especially Gen Z is repeating a version of what people born in nineteen hundred went through because they a lot of them remember, oh my God it was nine eleven and then, now this. They, they actually remember a lot of.

Yeah.

Australia was on fire this year starting with Australia on fire.

That's how we rang in the New Year and it's gotten so much worse.

Do you ever see the size of the burned area of Australia. It's fucking crazy.

It, it, it I don't even I think some people's minds shut down about that. They lost half a billion animals, half a billion. And that's going to start becoming a typical Sommer's that is going to become the norm if a radical drastic change isn't made. But maybe you were talking about how what if there was a shift in consciousness in terms of how knowing how fragile and how precarious everything is? I think it'd be really cool if America switched to I don't mind America flexing its might and saying we're number one, but it will be so cool if we change that flex to like the way a small town gangster flexes and he goes, look at look everyone here.

There's some old lady that's about to get evicted. I pay for every one of my every one of my five blocks is taken care of. Like that's the Bragge. Yes. He drives a nice car and wears a suit. But it's that Bragge of my flex is no one in this country goes hungry, doesn't get medical care. And that's what we flex to the world instead of flexing. Look at our billionaires. We have like twenty crazy rich billionaires.

It's amazing. Like instead of that, the Bragge should be that. No one in America is is in need and is desperate and is dying, that should be the weird jock flex. That would be cool if we could shift it back.

And it's funny you think we need a weird jock flex, but it's an interesting motivation. A weird jock flex.

Yeah, but a a jock flex can be used for good, you know. I mean like instead of using it, instead of directing it back on yourself, directed outward and make that thing like, hey, you know, like could you imagine if it was a high school where all the jocks, all the alpha jocks were like, no one gets bullied in my high school if I see any bullying going on. Shut that down. Like, what if that was their plan?

I bet there's more of that today than you'd believe. Oh, but there's a lot more than when we were growing up. People are aware of it now also, especially because I think people are aware that kind of the nerd, fringy weirdo kids tend to end up running the world.

So that's all they've seen. Enough examples of those guys tend to run things. So we have we're good. Yeah, there's definitely that.

Well, one thing that we are realizing from this is that, you know, there's a lot of people that have that libertarian bent. Let the market decide, you know, we need a small government. Isn't that when something like this goes down, you realize, oh, you need structure, you need pandemic response team. You need people to figure out a way to get food to folks. You know, we need we need a plan like this can happen again.

It's very important.

Visit any third world country after an earthquake and look at all the crumbled buildings with no rebar and go, do you really want no building inspectors and no regulations on it like that? What you're fighting for?

Because it'll all fucking crumble that argument with people, that stupid libertarian argument and like, look, my dad's an architect. My stepfather is an architect. I grew up on construction sites. You have to have inspectors. If you don't have inspectors, man, you're fucked. It's like these guys are a lot of dirt bags out there making houses. They're bad people. They're cutting corners, stealing money and watering down the cement like the fuck out of here.

You can't can't let the market decide. It takes too long to if you buy a house, it takes years before it starts fucking up. If they do a shitty job, it's like two years in.

The inspectors are there to protect the people that are actually doing it correctly, because a lot of times the people doing it correctly have got to go to subcontractors and the contractors supply stuff and those people can be sketchy. So you don't have the inspector come by going, oh, you just rip you off with substandard cement because I have that guy's got nine hundred things he's got to do every day. Yeah. You need the guy in there check its back on just doing it so that shit doesn't collapse on you.

Well the world is really complicated and people love simplistic answers and simpler than less government answer the less. We don't need cops, we don't need cops. You know, I'm an anarchist. Oh you've never been robbed. I guess you've never been robbed. You never seen a guy with a gun the fuck out of here. You don't need cops. Of course we need cops, stupid. What we can do all get together and put out the fires. We don't need firemen.

Let's save our tax money. No, you need government. You need it. It's important. Just has to be effective and good. And sometimes, like all systems, it has to be test tested for flaws. And I feel like this experience has been a great test for our system. And it's flawed. It's fucked up beyond belief, especially with like distribution of food, the food supply chains like falling apart in front of our eyes.

I know the fact that it's twenty twenty. I know nobody nobody planned for this.

We planned they planned to make as much money as possible by selling as much food as possible every single week. And then they were basically spending all that money and investing all that money and distributing all that money. They didn't have enough money for a couple of months off. They don't have enough money for anything to go sideways. Everything has to maintain.

Well, that will weirdly enough, that might be something that comes out of this is what if people in the private sector start thinking more like people in show business or comedians because comedians act like every day is a rainy day except for a few idiots that we've seen. And I remember coming up as a comedian, I started comedy as the boom ended. So I was very fortunate we had to start.

Nineteen eighty eight. Me. Yeah, eighty eight. Where did you start? Boston. I started in D.C. in me and Dave Chappelle went up on the same night for the first time. No shit. That's why I was 14. I was 19. Wow. Yeah. So maybe you saw this. Then at the end of the boom, there were a lot of comedians that for a time you could be not great and make one hundred grand a year because you were everywhere.

And these guys spent money like I'm going to make one hundred grand a year forever, like this will be my base. And then suddenly I was watching headliners get in, cars towed. I saw a guy get his house repossessed. I came and it goes and all the baby had to go crash on someone's apartment because they weren't. And then I was told by a younger guy, whatever you make half of it, you don't have to save it or put it away.

Pretend like you're making half of what you're making and live on that. That's how you live in this business. That's very wise, which is what I think. That's how the world should be. Act as if there's going to be this happening again and say for it.

It's hard to be a baller like that, though.

Dude, if you want to be Boehland, if you want to like bling bling, if you want to let everybody know that, make the baller move to do that, make that the ball and move. Yeah, you can. I'm saying you have to look dressed in sackcloth and have your shoes made out of rope. But I'm saying dress nice, take care of your needs, not you want your needs. And then the baller move is and I'm ready.

It goes south.

Sounds like somebody had fun.

What the fuck are you talking about then.

Are you kidding. Why were they. You can't have book know the thing about comedians.

We're all childish, childish and impulsive.

Well, sometimes the the thing that makes you very successful in comedy is to still be in touch with being a child and being overemotional and oversensitive to things. That's where some of the best material comes.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And it's like but you can maintain childhood like childhood instincts or childish notions while still being a responsible adult.

It is possible you can totally do both. Yes it can. It can be done like I have a friend and he doesn't have kids.

And he said to me goes, I forget sometimes that you're a dad because you're such a fucking child. And I'm like, Yeah, but I'm actually responsible, father.

Yeah, exactly. I look, I still get all wound up about the new comic book releases or something. I think it's just like a dog. I'm twenty five.

I'm also like Alice vegetables and chicken and they have a little bit of mac and cheese but you got to eat all those first, know whatever you like, there's still that. Then you got to be the. And I think a lot of people end up being bad parents because they don't want to be uncool and being a good parent means you're kind of uncool. Yeah.

You got to get the man that you sometimes get to establish boundaries. And yeah, it's tricky because you love them and almost like your little friends, but they like can I just do something like sometimes my daughter's cute little trick. She'll ask my wife first and then she'll say no. But then she comes to daddy because Daddy's a big softy and I'm like, I don't see why not. And then she's like, Dad says, it's OK.

And then like Alice, as Alice used that so brilliantly where she will because because my wife Meredith is such a great mom. But she's very she was raised with very responsible parents and very not strict. But just like if I say this will happen, she's she's consistent both ways. If I say we're going to the beach on Saturday, it will happen. I will not flake out if I also say no iPad for a week, you will not see that iPad.

I will flake either way. There's always consistency and I like to make just like you. My notes come to me and I eat.

I'm like, I guess so now. Although now she dish to her. Well, to our credit, she's done it so clumsily then that whatever she asks something we text the on let me text mommy and I can see her face like, like you duck and I'm like, hey, you can't do this to me, you know.

Are you noticing that people are through this nonsense or at least taking a little bit better care of their health or recognizing that this is this is a real thing they need to invest in? Have you noticed that?

I have noticed I've noticed it myself that unfortunately, a lot of this a lot of the lockdown means you've got to eat a lot of processed food because it lasts longer. And that's how you make your your food dollar stretch and a lot of ways and you see the immediate effects of not having fresh food and organic stuff in your diet very, very quickly.

And and what I also especially hope is that people, including me, who, again, sometimes I forget my fucking privilege and you go, oh, this is how people who don't have a lot of money. Forced to eat and live and maybe make things better for them, and there'll be less stress and anger and depression across the spectrum. One hundred percent.

Yeah, I mean, that's what you were saying before about Aflex for the whole you know, like we're taking care of that is that is something that's really missing in this country in a big way, is that we will spend a lot of money fixing up other places that we've blown up all over the world. But we'll spend no money trying to balance out Baltimore or south side of Chicago or Detroit. Right. It's like or we will do that.

We will do it. And sometimes I'm guilty of it, too. We will do it if there's a photo op and our name can be tagged in it. In other words, it's that thing. It's why I think a lot of political campaigns get hurt when celebrities try to do it. So instead of celebrities using their platform, they use their voice and their face. So it's like me first for this person, but it's me for that.

Right?

And they go, I don't even know what they're talking about, but whatever they're talking about, I don't support it. Yeah, well, that's a problem, right?

Especially if you have someone's annoying and they're attached to this presidential candidate like, oh, that guy.

Would you like whenever I've supported people now I try to use my platform and not my voice. And I've been ever when I was it, I was at Sundance when they had the women's march the day after Trump was inaugurated, I think it was January twenty.

First I was at Sundance. I was a judge on the short film panel and I begged the organizers. I was like, please, please, please don't have the march here in Park City. Do not have photos of celebrities in front of the Vivienne Westwood Outlet in Park City, Utah, because all that is is going to be fuel for the other side, like amplified the marches that are happening in Charlotte, in Tuscaloosa and all those were happening. And half of the marchers that got filmed were the ones where they were celebrities there.

Terrible.

I mean, and everything we were trying to do, like, what are you doing? You know, so it drove me crazy. It really annoyed me, but and also annoyed me because sometimes I've been guilty of that because we're in this business, because we're narcissists and so is I want it to be me supporting this person, whereas it should be your platform and your audience supporting that person. And that's a very delicate line to cross, which I stumble all the time.

Oh, we're at a point now where it's like who who the fuck would want to be president, right?

Who the fuck would want that job?

Even if you have some good ideas, like you have to go way out on a limb to take that job. So who are we getting? You know, we're getting young people that are idealistic and they get kind of Tulsi Gabbard and the like. They get kind of pushed aside by the machine because they're not willing to play ball. And then you get to the ancient dinosaurs of the system like Biden. And then on the other side you have Trump.

We have this chaotic scene where the economy is imploding. Everybody's fucking terrified of this new virus. China might want to go to war with us. I mean, who knows what the fuck is happening with that? And then we have these two to pick from. This is madness. This is the best we can do. We're we're China's main trading partner.

They're not going to go to war with us unless we cut off trade. So I think that's a that's a nice paranoid thing. It's brought up. But I don't think I don't I don't think that'll happen.

What? I don't think so either. But it still scares me. Yeah. What what here's me being helpful. I think that we're living in this age now of like this all the time. Everything is just being broadcast all the time. And there's no such thing as like digging up a past anymore because everyone just puts their puts their life out there. You just go digging through someone's Twitter feed or YouTube history, whatever you want to do. So there's this wave coming up like the Octavio Cortez and and people like that that are like, yeah, it's all out there.

I don't care about that. Here's what I want to do. And I think a generation is going to come up that will go, oh yeah. I tweeted out stupid shit when I was 18. Yeah. When was that tweet from ten years ago. Doesn't count. Whatever she was being an idiot.

I was like, the standards are definitely different now than they were even five years ago.

But there's a generation of people putting luminal on people's online history that that will die out and it'll turn into.

It was something horrible a week ago. Yes. Let's talk about that. If you dug up something someone did ten years ago, everyone is going to go, yeah, you should see this. Should I put it like that? Won't that won't land the way that it is now.

I think our expectations of people are different. We don't we're not under the illusion anymore that. These aren't real people because we want them to be presidential or we want them to be a representative, we're not under the illusion anymore that they that that they're not real people. It's almost like when they had to admit that WWE was fake. It's like, OK, now we could just enjoy it for what it is. You don't have to have these arguments with your friends over whether or not it's fake.

You have to think about the WWE that everyone keeps forgetting is, yes, it's scripted, but it's scripted mayhem and destruction. They are scripting out these people, these men and women going in the script. You're going to fall 40 feet onto a table of glass. Yes, we scripted that to happen, but it's still a person doing that. Yes, there is a level of of of adrenaline junkie ness and athleticism that goes beyond I think athletics and people like wrestling is fake.

Yeah, no shit. These people it's like when you watch a Jackie Chan film that's a scripted film to stick around for the end credits. He just got his skull knocked open. They literally punched a hole through his skull doing the stunt. So you're you're dismissing something. Your definition of fake needs to be tweaked a little bit in this case. Yeah, it's another way of looking at it.

It's definitely it's definitely scripted.

It's not like they're risking it all because they don't know what the outcome is going to be. It's different than an actual athletic event, but it's still pretty badass, like as far as what they're able to do.

I mean, yes, they don't get nearly enough credit for it either, because while they were doing it before the the lockdown, they were doing it two hundred and fifty plus days a year, traveling all over the country, throwing each other on tables, different time zones, bad jet lag, bad food, no sleep like these people that have to be in peak physical condition under the worst conditions to maintain that. Yeah. And and also think of the years when the WWE was just struggling, basically mom and pop operation trying to launch itself and they had even less resources than they do now.

But those guys were still doing that over and over and over again. It's brutal and it is the same way those guys there's no money. There's the travel is brutal. The amount of matches they have to do is brutal.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's it's all brutal. It's you ever watch the video where Trump was on the WWE? Have you ever seen that.

Yeah. He loves we've all seen it because he loves for Tweedie.

But it's so, it's so strange to think that the current president used to be on the WWE was on an episode of the WWE. He was in a match.

He well, OK. He when he pardoned Blagojevich, the former host of a game show, just became president and pardoned one of his former contestant. Yes.

Like Philip K. Dick would read that and go, yeah, I'm done and I get the cancer, hurry up and I'm done. I don't think I am. I don't need to live.

Oh, it's so strange. It's so strange. All of it so strange. My most my most conspiratorial thoughts are that this is this is A.I. and that A.I. is slowly bringing us deeper and deeper into into the hive, into the matrix. And the way they're doing it is by disconnecting us from each other, making social distancing the norm. Cover your face with a mask. Don't touch anything. Everything you're going to do virtually and slowly but surely it's going to lead to this new way of life where you're you're you're no longer risk by going out there and making yourself susceptible to all these biological nasties.

You're going to stay home. You're going to plug in.

Or what if the A.I. knows that eventually it does have to unplug us and let us see that we're in the protein pods that's going to freak them out. Let's make this fake reality so fucking insane and awful.

We'll have Trumpy president. We'll have this virus so that we do unplug. Go. Oh, thank God. OK, good, fine. I'm OK with IAMGOLD being in the protein pod. Good. Like actually they're making it so that we'll be happy when we're shown that we're living in pod land.

At least there's order in the universe. And it's not just completely ridiculous.

I mean, I've had those arguments with people about there is a there is a very strong case to be made for cyphers character in The Matrix. It's like, no, plug me the fuck back into this going on. So I'm nude with no muscles, atrophied muscles, hairless in a jagged wasteland of radioactive slag. Or I could be in this world where I have a nice job and I eat a steak and marry someone and I just live in this.

I'm fine with it. Like Morpheus. Who the fuck are you helping you dragging it? That means that the machines are trying to kill us. They're just like, look, you guys. And by the way, the machines like you guys fucked up the earth. We're doing the best we can for you guys. We could have just let you all die in the wasteland. But instead, we found a ways that you can make the machine for doing anything that nefarious.

Right. Right. They're just letting you have a better existence than your real one. No, and it's indistinguishable. It's also it feels it feels better, it actually does. People always miss that line where Smith says, you know, when we first hit the Matrix, it was just flat out paradise and you guys couldn't handle that and you rejected it like we literally had. You were probably the first birds in The Matrix. Everybody could fly and orgasms lasted three months and you could just eat all the chocolate you wanted and it would be like, no.

And then I want a goddamn cubicle job.

I guess they want to Kubica to find given that I we tried to be nice.

Well, I think we evolved human beings evolved with this need to overcome adversity. We we evolved with this need. That's why we like puzzles. I mean, when we're just sitting around bored, what do we do? We get the family, get together and play puzzles.

You play games, you try to solve things and figure things out, because I think it's still in our RNA or in our DNA that the ones who thrived were the ones who solved puzzles and pushed against adversity. Yeah, when you don't have that, you have a memory of dying. If you don't do that, you crave that.

We need to have that a little bit or we go. That's why I think a lot of the people that are out protesting. Yeah, they're protesting because I don't have a might have a job. I need money right now. But also like what you were saying earlier, let me decide to take a risk. Yeah. Like like we will there's a part of us that will push against that, even if it's deadly and even if it's selfish because it's part of what made our species you know, we took the risk.

I'm going to flop out on land. Yeah, well, there's predators out there. You're going to push.

We're also deeply distrustful of people who tell us what to do, because we know that when people have the power to tell you what to do when they didn't have that power before, and that's what's going on right now in the state, there's new power, right? The governor has the power to shut businesses down. The mayor has the power to shut everything down when people get into that position of power. I know we don't ever want to think that.

And we want to think that all of their all the reasons why they do things are altruistic. They're great people. They just but there's just human instincts, just like the human need to sort of overcome adversity. There's a real human instinct to control people. I mean, it's the reason why cults exist is the reason why we're very, very careful and how we give out power. And we're in a situation like even the way the mayor phrased it, something like if we all wear mask, this is the way we can get back some of our freedoms, like, I don't know who the fuck is PR guy is, but hey, man, that's the worst thing you could say.

You don't have power over the general population's freedoms. That's not in your fucking job description. So when you say shit like that, we can get back some of our freedoms. People are naturally going to get very upset because it puts them in the position like, oh, I've seen this before. I know what this is now. There's a person who's got power over me. And so that's part of what these protests are. It's not just simply like, I want to be selfish.

I want to put my grandma at risk because I want to be able to make a living again. And I'd rather have the old people die off than lose my business. It's also I don't like you telling me what to do because I don't think you're any different than me. I think you're just a person and a person that has power and new power, like the power to tell people you can or can't do something. That's a very tricky position.

But it's so weird how those are the kinds of statements that we push back on, and yet there are other more blatantly controlling statements that we will absolutely accept. If you would look at some of the stuff that Trump says to his audience, basically mocking them, like holding up a Bible going, boy, you people sure love this. Like you would think they would go, OK, he's making fun of us, but they're just like, yeah, it's like it's just weird how one person will push against you would think, oh, that that's a critical thinker.

But then they'll turn around and blindly accept something else just in case, you know, like women, you were so rightfully suspicious and cautious about that statement. And yet that one got no review from you and you just went, well, I don't know what you're talking about in particular because I didn't see Trump do that.

But the thing about him, like mocking a Bible, even if it's offensive, it doesn't stop people from doing anything with this with these orders are they're stopping people from making a living. And it's never happened before.

It's not stopping anyone from doing anything. But the way that he held it up, in the way he said it is this thing that you believe I really don't believe in and I'm just going to use you to get the power.

I never saw that. I've never seen that was he was it was one of his rallies.

And he was like and again, it was his way of going, isn't the Bible great? But he was saying, well, you people sure love this. Like the undercurrent was, all I got to do is hold this thing up in your mind, like barely. So from hiding it, it was like you talk about like bad PR like such clumsy statecraft right there. Like, why are you doing that?

Well, it's way more confusing than that is some of the other bad PR he's gotten away with, like the stuff that he said about McCain. And he said, like, I prefer my soldiers that don't get caught. Like, did he say something like that? Like better soldiers that don't get called.

I prefer my heroes did not like something along those lines. It would end a political career on the spot.

And it and how about the other family of the soldier that had died and he had been in some sort of a dispute with the family and openly dismissive about that situation?

Yes, I thought it was fascinating. And then they ask because the father went up and said, what have you sacrificed to them? The interviewer was talking to Trump and wasn't trying to do anything. Gotcha. Just like what? HAVLIK How do you answer that? Like, what do you say?

And you like his brain? Frenchtown He couldn't phrase it in a way. He was like, I've built great buildings.

I mean, I've made I've been very successful. I've made a lot of money. And like like that he that's that's closest that he could get to embracing the idea or the concept of sacrifice. Yeah. I mean, it's not it's an alien concept what you like.

He literally doesn't understand what it was like. Maybe part of the reason that people keep them around is, is there some. Oh, my goodness.

Ask your question, Siri. Siri, you're listening to everything, you nosy bitch. We're not talking to you.

Hey, listen, I'm just I'm just I'm promoting my album and Joe Rogan, I'm not going to buy any. Oh, speaking of which, go out what? You are here to promote something. Tell us about it.

Well, let me really quick, I OK, I to feel like one of the reasons the Trump has been able to stick around an office and he's going to have his full term and maybe have a second one is as horrible as it is. It is it is a fascinating psychological study of a soul in torment that we get to watch for free every week when he gives an interview. Where does a rally. Yeah, there's some way you get to go back and watch this thing.

Like, I got to go look at this thing again.

This all could be avoided, you know, if he had a coach legitimately.

Look, it's like it's all bullshit, right? Like someone's you're basically representing bankers and, you know, you've got a bunch of special interests tugging at you and you've got your agenda. But the way he interacts with the press like he needs to be coached, if he had a coach like someone who's like very socially astute, maybe even a comic, someone who could say, look, man, you've got to show some humility, but you can't get a joke across if you're like this.

A few guys who can get a job because of their cocky like dice clay or someone along with. Yeah, Jesslyn that can do it. But you've got you're brilliant, but you better have some really fucking tight writing. Yeah, I kind of like Jeselnik.

His writing is tight. That's tight writing.

Not a single wasted letter in those.

No wasted space. Really. Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant parsing timing.

Trump would never accept a coach that that's not in his nature. He's like, no, no, I got this. That's why he was like, I'm going to do these coronaviruses press conferences every day. Yeah. He was going to have to do it. Then he realized, wait, he's on TV and I'm not out of the way. If that's what he was going out there just yammering about whatever.

About injecting disinfectant. Yeah. And then they had to like. They had to like. And to stop doing it because, like we're trying to get a story about Biden, get some traction and you keep taking all the air out of the news, we need to sit down for a couple of days and get this going. And it's it's you. Everybody needs a coach. Everybody does. He could use a coach. He could use someone, just someone who just explained like this is where you trip on your own dick.

And if you just don't do that, look, you already have all these people that are on your side no matter what. And he's publicly said to go shoot someone in the street and, you know, X amount of people would vote for me no matter what.

And he's right. He's right. He would he would shoot someone in the street and you would be spin would begin before the body hit the ground. Yeah. We didn't know if that guy was. Ah, maybe he was. And then then they would fill the air with verbal chaff and then you would never get to the truth. Right.

Are trying to drive through smoke. I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I'm suddenly lost. I just watched the guy shoot a guy and now I'm thinking of 20 other things.

Yeah, it's it's a weird time, man, but it's it's it's an opportunity. I'm not looking at this like it's pretty.

Yeah. Let's look at the positive side, because, look, it's negative for a lot of people, particularly people that have lost people and people that have lost their own health. But there's an opportunity for us that haven't to restructure and just rethink this thing and recognize what it really is, because you just run around with momentum thinking, well, I'm in the business and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And, hey, this is what I do.

And, you know, maybe not like I haven't been on the road in two fucking months. And part of me is like, boy, I feel really healthy, you know?

Yeah.

I feel like as good as I've ever felt. And it's steady. It's like the same every day. There's not these big ups and downs. When I come home on Sunday and I fucking crash and I try to get back to the thick of things on Monday, it's like you're taking less weight, less damage to your body. Also spending more time with my family being around. I could just walk into the neighborhood.

And when you don't have to go anywhere, sometimes you just enjoy the moment, you know, enjoy the moment of being alive, a human being in twenty twenty and being one of the fortunate ones that isn't sick.

Yeah, and maybe look at the idea that everything doesn't have to be constant growth, you're allowed to have ups and downs. The only thing that actually follows the idea of constant growth is cancer. Like constant growth is not a good thing. The only thing does that answer. In a way, we're feeling the effects of this. It's almost like an economic form of cancer where every quarter is going to be bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger.

And now here we are.

I know is saying, look, if you have a business that makes the same amount of money every year, it's a fucking failure, even if it's a lot of money.

I know that's what makes it such a ridiculous way to approach anything. But the fact that that's the core thing that structures our society is economics. It's the one of the most important values, the most important factors. And what we do, that's the reason why we get up all fucking day and we work all day from nine to five plus over. The whole reason for that is economics. And it's all structured in this weird way where these companies are supposed to somehow or another make more money every year.

Yeah, and no, I mean, again, I thank God I'm a comedian because comedians, we can actually embrace that. You're going to have some off years. It's not it can't be growth all the time. Right. Some years you're going to do you'll do Carnegie Hall and then then you're going to work the clubs for a little while and then you'll be on an upswing again, like, yes, we stay in this business long enough. It's up and down and up and down.

But the whole thing is fun. Can you do what you like to do? A lot of this corporate stuff, it's all there's no joy. It's just this death rictus moving forward, consuming everything you can. It floats and explodes.

You know what's also great about our business? You put out specials and then you become a beginner again, like, yes, that's so valuable.

I feel like such a fraud. Every two years I get to the point where I feel like I'm a killer and then right afterward I'm a fraud. I have a fucking flimsy act for months, for three, four months. It's just garbage. And I'm out there just slinging it at the store, trying to piece things together, trying to. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.

Again, my special drops tomorrow on Netflix and after tomorrow I have a blank notebook and I ever get on stage. It'll be like you when we see each other at the Comedy Store. Seven to ten minute chunks just. Oh I don't I guess shit. I thought this was going to be something. Folks, I'm sorry. And and you feel like you said you feel like an asshole if you go back to your old stuff because you're like we've seen that shit, why don't make us pay to watch that again?

So, you know the process. You know you can do it. You've done it before. You know you can. There's some times where I honestly, in the first couple weeks, especially after a special on my boy, I might have hit the fucking bottom of the well. I might not have anything left it.

There's been, especially after the last one, annihilation. I was like, maybe I'm done doing standup. Maybe I shouldn't do stand up anymore. And then somehow this thing happened. But there's always that feeling of like I think that might be my maybe it's time to retire and then you get the itch because it was always there.

I see myself dying like George Carlin in a hotel room in Vegas, somewhere in between shows. I don't think I'm going to quit. It's too much fun and I miss it. I miss it so much. He stuck with it.

That guy had crazy highs and crazy lows. He had all the highs of, like, you know, occupation, pool and class clown. Then I saw him in the eighties at the Warner Theater and he was kind of flailing a little bit like his way. And then he he was trying up these new concepts. Some worked, some didn't. He ended with the seven dirty words because I got to end my show. Then he came roaring back with that.

The one about the earth. The Earth is not dying. We are. What is this? You know, because I think he thought maybe I'm done, like maybe I'm a relic. And no, he stuck with it and then he came roaring back. And you can always do that.

I got a chance to see him and at Hampton Beach Casino in New Hampshire. Yeah. When I was I, I mean, I think I was twenty something like twenty or twenty one. And I took my roommates to see him and he bombed. Yeah.

It was a weird time for his career. It was one of those weird moments where he had this routine that he was working on where you'd basically say fuck everything. He would say fuck Israel and fuck comedy clubs. Like he had this list of things that he was saying fuck to. But I think he was just going through a lot of weird stuff in his life. Then there was some substance issues that he had had hidden money problems with the IRS owing too much money to the IRS.

There was a lot of shit that was going on in his life at those times.

And also I think that he was a little bit freaked out by he had opened the door erm and prior, especially in terms of language and subject matter. And now here's like Sam Kinison and. Andrew Dice Clay coming along and Chris Rock that are pushing it even further in both good and bad ways, and he's like, do I even fucking like either they need me like like I think there was a couple of years where he felt like, am I John Wayne?

At the end of the searchers, I've rescued everyone and I've helped progress the world, but I don't belong in the world. And then I'm just going to walk away to the desert.

There's always that moment of like sometimes your bravery helps bring about a world that, ironically, you don't belong in anymore. And it's such a weird I mean, I feel like that's what happened to Joan Rivers at the end of her career. She broke so many goddamn barriers for women and for talking about certain subject matter. And then at the end of her career, she suddenly saw all of her stuff get passed by this new generation that's like this this generation that's attacking her and parsing her stuff.

You are enjoying the freedoms you're enjoying partially because of the shit that she did. She lay down barbed wire. You could run across it and then pointed her for not using the correct language.

I mean, like, yeah, yeah. Not just not the correct language, but deciding what she can and can't joke about. And I love the fact that to her dying day she didn't give a fuck. She was like, I'm not apologizing for shit. This is what I do. I make fun of things and I'm going to make fun of you and I make fun of me and I make fun of my family. Fuck you. And she she held on to her guns forever, man.

Forever. She never, never let it go. Never let it go. Never shifted. Fearless.

That will happen. That will happen to all of us. At some point there will be another wave of podcasters that won't understand the stuff that you and Marrin and people like that did podcasting wise and will do it. And look back at you guys. Like, what are you even talking about? The reason you're doing what you're doing is because of the shit that we laid down, like it'll happen to me as a comedian. It's happened to filmmakers, everyone shitting on Martin Scorsese.

You're going not a fan of the Marvel films. He was he never said, don't go see them. He's like, they're not for me, like you lot.

Or you wouldn't have your Marvel film if Scorsese He hadn't done his movies. Yeah. All the these are what made the guys who direct your movies you like go. I want to do that right.

Like you, he gets to be he gets to have any fucking opinion he wants.

Well, and also what's wrong with not liking certain things like I have very good friends who like things that I think are terrible. I still like them. You're allowed that if you don't like. I have friends who hate Marvel comic movies. I fucking love them. I love comic book movies and I have friends like I now watch that stupid shit. That guy's definitely going to live. Nothing's going to happen. He's the hero.

Mike, listen, man, I get it. I understand how you feel a certain way.

But the other thing about film, to think about a guy like Scorsese where he needs to be put in a much, much better perspective is that when you think about some of the stuff that he did in like the 70s, what movies had only been around for, like real movies for like forty years, like King Kong, like the thirties.

And then here you go.

Forty years later, you're talking about some of those Scorsese movies or the Coppola movies like Apocalypse Now, like think about how crazy that movie is when you really stop and think about when it was actually created and how what a short time films had even been made like that.

Yeah. And how crazy the execution of it is. It's like, well, when I when I hosted the Independent Spirit Awards, the year I hosted it in twenty fourteen, it was the fiftieth anniversary of John Waters first film. But he was a teenager in Baltimore. It's called Hagg in a black leather jacket, and it's about an interracial wedding being cited over by a Klansman. It's a Klan for marrying an interracial couple. That was he shot at his parent group in Baltimore in the 60s.

And I told the audience, like, this is the fiftieth anniversary of John Waters. First time any of you guys are like, are we pushing too far? Are we going too far? He's already done all that work for you. Fucking go for it. As he was an openly gay teenager in 1960s Baltimore, shooting an interracial petting on his parents' roof with a Klansman doing the ceremony. So do whatever the fuck you want. It's OK.

It's so perfect. Yeah, so beautiful. Yeah. But getting back to what you were saying, the reason it's where you brought up like I have friends who love stuff that I hate, but I don't give a shit. The reason my special is called I Love Everything is when you get to age 50, there's still stuff that annoys you and stuff you don't like. But you're like, but I know where this is coming right now. I know why he's acting that way.

Or I like I don't. I'm not a fan of Donald Trump, I think he's fucking horrible, but I also know about his childhood and how he was raised and I know why he is the way he is. He grew up in a monster factory and it was really well-run monster factory. And it made an incredible monster like I know why he is the way he is, so you can only go. So hatred is a luxury for you. When you're young, you can go.

This is it. And then you get to 50 like it's not for me, but I don't care. OK, fine.

You know what? I also think it is I talk about this often that you have children, you have a child. I have daughters. And when I think of people now, I think of them as babies that grew up. And when I was younger, I used to think if I if I knew you now I know I think all patent has always been this patent. But now I can see because I've seen little babies become little people and I go, oh, OK, you just got terrible input, terrible feedback, bad epigenetics, a lot of shit wrong here.

You're a victim of circumstance as much as you are, you know, being an asshole. You're actually you're the reason why you're an asshole. It's because you're a victim. It's the case. And a lot of a lot of times. Yeah.

And sometimes people can become an asshole. Obviously, some people can become an asshole because Trump had a lifetime of systematic abuse. But also people can become horrible for from having one bad day when bad day can set you the wrong direction. Yeah. So you but it's not till you get older where you suffer all those blows and setbacks and reversals, fortune that you go, OK, let's maybe give someone a little bit of breathing room. Yes. Even if they're being horrible, think about why they're being doing this.

You know, that's just how it is.

Well, also, you have handled it. It's also it's not beneficial to anybody to be confrontational and to be angry about things all the time, even though it seems fun when you're young, as you get older, you realize it's a terrible way of using your resources. And it also doesn't create any harmony. It just makes the people on the other side fight back harder. Like there's no middle ground given. There's no compromise, there's no forgiveness, there's no equanimity.

There's no there's no moment where you feel like this is a human being and I'm a human being and I make mistakes and they make mistakes. And let's figure out how we could be nicer to each other. I mean, that's what everybody would like. That's what everybody would like. The fucking hardest thing to do. And you're going to fail a lot of time trying to strong because otherwise the only other option is the person who's pissing you off actually wins and takes over space in your mind and stops you doing this shit you need to do.

Yeah. If you're living then centered life or despite centered life, then that runs that other person runs your life and think of all the jokes and albums and movies or whatever you were going to do that you never did as you were focused on them. That's really common.

You know, there's a lot of people that are doing that with Trump. There's a lot of people that follow on Twitter while just go their Twitter feed.

It's just just railing about Trump all day. And I want to go over their house and you can't anymore but hug them and go, hey, man, you got to stop paying attention to this like you. How much time do you have in a day? How much time is spent on things you hate and how much time is spent on things you love? You need to figure out a way to shift that.

For me, hating Trump is become like a glass of wine. I indulge in it and then I enjoy it when he does something really crazy. And also every now and every now and then, you need to check in and go. Just want to remind you this isn't normal. This shouldn't be happening. Let's not get used to this. But then also, yeah, I promote other people's stuff. I think about other comedians. I read tweet really funny.

Tweet like that also has to be fun because you're right, there are there are people that I love whose Twitter feeds have just evolved into. Can you fucking believe it? Yes. Yeah, I can have a bit about it. My special about how I don't have any Trump jokes because he's made comedians obsolete. How do you write a joke funnier than this shit he's doing in front of us? You know, it's like he's doing this great and you up.

You want to hear a joke I wrote about this or it's like, no, I'm just I'm watching this. I'm good.

Well, it's all the things, too. It's the tan and the hair and the madness and the not willing to admit that he's ever wrong.

And it's like, Jesus Christ, this is someone put this out as a joke of the day was like a little graphic. But it it's true. You know how he won't wear a mask. Yeah. It'll rip the makeup off. Oh yeah. For sure. No, he can't put a mask on because yeah.

They could also have this weird and he knows he can't do it. I bet on the first day he tried to do it went up. Nope. We can't do it. Yeah.

Well why didn't Pence wear that one time. Remember when everybody was wearing it. The Mayo Clinic and he didn't.

I feel like Trump bullied him. I feel like Trump was like, you're not going to go out there with a mascara. You make me look bad. Yeah. So like, all right, now I'm terrified.

Would it be nice if there was someone who is running for. President, that really made sense, someone who you like, yes, like this, OK, this this guy is all right or she's the best we can get behind her. This is it. We got one. We we have a person whose moral and ethical and although flawed, their heart's in the right place.

We can do this like. Well, weirdly enough, that's now what the the Trump line is, is he is a.. He is vain. He is me. But he gets shit done. Guys, this isn't the movie pitch black and he's not Riddick.

OK, we don't need this. You know, I'm voting, by the way, now I'm Ambrosini. I think I think Biden is a little you know what I'm voting for? I'm voting for his cabinet. That's what I'm just voting for the team he's going to bring in. I could give a fuck about him.

He might not even survive. I mean, he looks so bad, but all Trump does is it's just it's just grifters are around him and they come in, grab whatever money they can, and then they bolt. That's all. There's no plan. There's no team.

It's also the big alpha. Right.

So he needs everybody to kind of kiss his ass and keep saying, like the true big alpha never have to say he's the big alpha. He's poorly in Goodfellas, probably never because he didn't have to move fast.

You just knew Trump had to keep telling people. It's like what you like whenever a comedian tells you how dangerous and they are, like when folks you like, he's not he's not edgy.

Your days, like you shouldn't write that he's going to have nonsense is going to say nonsense. I've already heard before. Yeah.

Like David Tell never tells the audience. Hang on. Just how we that's just how he thinks exactly. Which makes the end times edgier.

That might be the lamest thing comedians do is tell you they're edgy.

I see that all the time. That's the last thing.

There was a guy who would go on stage, he would sit backwards in the chair. He would go, welcome to the inside of my mind, you know.

That man needs some mushrooms.

Oh, so bad, you need to just wake up after it's over and go, oh my God, I've got to change everything. Who am I?

I'm so glad for all the LSD trips I took back in the 90s because they come out of it and just kind to go, oh, yeah, OK. Maybe I need to like just anything to shrink yourself in the universe. Yeah. And make you more secure with like oh this is actually vast and I'm tiny in it. Knowing how tiny you are actually gives you more strength and freedom because you're like if everything I do is insignificant then I can do anything.

Like if it's ultimately all crumbles, just do whatever you want.

Well, sometimes when I get really high and I feel real vulnerable, I feel like there's almost like there's magic in the world. Whereas like when I'm sober, everything seems sort of it's like standard. Everything's just as it always is. I'm accustomed to all these paths and I'm accustomed to getting in my car and driving when I'm high. The whole thing is magic. It's like this is madness.

This whole thing is crazy. And there's possibility. Yes, too many. Well, good and bad possibilities. But they're there. That's what I like.

That's what people say. The pot makes them paranoid. I'm like, that's my favorite part, because that paranoia, I need it. It's for thinking for me, it's giant. It helps me a lot. It really does. It's it's responsible for a lot of my activity. You know, like some people say that it makes you lazy. Like it's not I'm not getting lazy. I'm getting I'm getting scared. And then because of that, I go.

I go. I've got to go. Got to do something.

Yeah, it was a. No, Harlan Ellison, who was very anti-drug, very anti drink, but he was putting together an anthology and he had Philip K. Dick story, Faith of our fathers in it, and he was like, I've never advocated the use of psychedelics or drugs, but, my God, if I could write on this level, maybe I would totally gobbled up because he's he's operating on a different level right now.

Yeah, well, I think people are scared of him because for rightly so, because we've all heard stories of people losing everything, lose their mind. You know, we were talking yesterday about this this O'Farrill theater sign that Hunter S. Thompson had given this couple on their wedding anniversary or their wedding day. He stole from from San Francisco.

He stole this off at Geary Street. And, yeah, he stole the sign outside. And it was a sign that said, you know, if you are scared of sex acts or whatever, it's on the zigi. I follow on Instagram, the Jacka understand underscore lope. And he's a Hunter S. Thompson enthusiast and he posted this. The Hunter gave it to this couple along with 20 hits of acid, and the woman took all the acid and was immediately checked into a mental institution and never got out.

So on the day of their wedding, Hunter S. Thompson ruined it. There's there's the photo. I don't know if you could see. You could see you there. Yeah.

Oh, there you go. Yeah. So but the story is. So scroll to the story, Jimmy. That's right. Yeah. So you could see where it said gave it to his friend along with twenty hits of acid as a wedding gift.

The bride took the acid, was committed to a mental institution, never came back.

Oh well by the way, look, I'm I am very poor people if you want to experiment with psychedelics. But I'm also very poor. Set the stage for it.

Also, don't take all twenty, you fucking crazy bitch. Take one hit what. The thought on the wood where it goes. But also even if you do one, don't do it. On the roof of a building with Tom Petty's free falling playing on a boom box.

They lie in a hammock somewhere.

It's the first time I did acid was the night that Bill Clinton won the presidency. This is in ninety two and I was in that Weinhold apartment in San Francisco and that Weinhold that his roommate is illustrator named Derek Robertson, Barbel Illustrator, great comic book I did. Transmetropolitan illustrated Cornelius's Transmetropolitan and the boys regard Dennis. They owned every action figure in the world and they had them all on little shows. The walls were nothing but action figures. I'm sitting there and, you know, the patterns in the table started to melt to move a little bit.

And then that Fleetwood Mac song don't start thinking about too. Remember, they're all dancing to that on stage. Yes.

When they were boys and I looked over at the wall and the figures were going crazy, but as the music played, they were all just kind of subtly they just kind of bounce like they were in line outside of like a sound check, just listening to music.

And it it gave me this feeling of touch and saluting like, oh, like everything in the world is like bouncing to a better beat right now.

It felt really good.

It was the perfect time to take take. I was deep. And on that note. Oh, that is that's a good note to end on, isn't it? Well, you have to get two, right? You got something else going on it too badly. I got to go. That's a good way to end it. Tell everybody you're special. The name I love everything is at it tomorrow.

I love everything on Netflix. Yeah, I'm going to watch it all. This has nothing to do with me.

Doug Stanhope special also drops tomorrow, which I wanted to include is on Netflix as well.

I think it's on Vimeo. OK, beautiful dropping, especially on the same day. And I wanted to give them a plug to play.

Oh, well, you're awesome. I love that guy too. I'll contact him. I'll I'll get that out there. So thank you. Next time I see you, I hope I see you in person. I don't want to be looking at you through a screen.

Stay healthy person, because there's so much I want to talk to you about. And there's some books I want to give you this beautiful book. All right, man. Well, thank you, my friend. Good luck with your special. I appreciate you.

Thanks, man. Bye bye bye. Thank you, friends, for tuning in to the show. And thank you to policy genius. Policy genius compares quotes from the top life insurance companies in one place takes just a few minutes to compare the quotes from top insurers to find your best price and they'll save you Cheder. And plus, you'll have that thing taken care of, that thing that's hovering over the back of your head. So if you're one of the many people looking to buy life insurance right now, but you're not sure where to start.

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