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My guest today is a very good friend of mine, a hilarious stand up comedian and one of my favorite people on the planet. And I'm just very thankful that he decided to come out of that shit hole known as L.A. and visit me here in Texas.

Please give it up for the great and powerful Tom Papà girlfriend podcast, the Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast, My Life All Day.

Tom Poffo, welcome to Real America. I'm glad you've gotten out of your liberal hidey hole.

You come here, we can eat at a real restaurant. It feels the same, does it? Yeah. What do you mean it feels the same? It feels the same.

I went to a restaurant and, you know, is that what real life is now? A restaurant or not?

A restaurant feels the same way as it does in L.A. Just walking around L.A. feels the same as this place. I kinda.

That's not what you were just saying before we got in here. What are you, a fucking propaganda guy? Comes here now? Tell you what the difference different fair. I'll tell you what the different he was saying.

Y'all and all kinds of.

No, you know what I found I'm here to eat with you by way of Denver and then. And then to here. And they're all doing the same things.

Pretty much. You have a little more indoor, but everyone's messed up. I was doing. But there's less anxiety in these places. Right? There is in L.A. there's they keep the pressure turned up to scare you, to get you to behave.

So you do walk around feeling more trapped and more nervous.

Yeah, but it's not based on reality. It's not it's not wise. It's not healthy. Well, 274 and he's fat and he kicked it in four days. Yeah. But I don't give a fuck what anybody says. What did they give that guy. They gave him everything.

He's the president of the United States works. They have a thing. If you give him everything, it works. Sure. But fat old guy. Yeah, but he's getting stuff that's very different from what you would get just walking into urgent care in Encino. Don't go to urgent care in Encino.

Go to Cedar Sinai. They'll hook you up with whatever he's got. Yeah. Do you think they like is he getting things that you can't get.

Yes. In all seriousness, yeah. Are you sure? I don't understand because the first thing is a trial drug that hasn't been approved yet.

They're not just handing that out at Cedars.

Is that the the first thing that's REM's. No, I said that no.

Everyone can get that from severe from remember, this is where anyone can get that.

Anyone can get them. What is the other stuff they get? The other thing you got was like the plasma related. Right therapy.

You can't get that everywhere. Now, why can't you?

Because you're not the president of the court. Maybe the liberal media is trying to keep that from you. So please stay sick so they can get Biden into the White House. Ever think about that?

All right. Now, wait a second. I literally last night, because I literally was there is definitely so much confusion because the that side is ramping up the fear.

One hundred percent making it scarier than it is so they can get him to be president.

And the other side is definitely saying from from Trump on down, don't worry about this thing.

So it makes it looks like we did a good job in the economy comes back and all that stuff.

So I'm like this cognitive dissonance, like what is real, what I watch. Tucker Carlson, he made sense for a minute.

And then I watched and he made sense for a minute.

And I was like, let me lift off into the satellite and let me just look at the world, you know, let me see what's happening in the world. Yes. That's not involved in this election. Spain. France, Moscow, the Netherlands all opened up a little too much and now are all putting restrictions back, everything spiked.

Yeah, but if you want to look at other countries, look at Sweden, because they opened up completely and they have less cases and now they're back to normal. They have no masks. Go to a bar. No one's obviously it's a small country, smaller country.

I mean, look, less people.

They live in different sort of circumstances. They have mostly smaller villages. Right. Other than Stockholm.

But, yeah, they're they're fine. I know. But if you look at Spain and you look at France and Moscow, I mean, these places, there's no political agenda in these places.

There's no political agenda. It's just they opened up and they said, let's go all open. And the cases skyrocketed.

And now they have to like bring it back a little bit. It's this the virus is the real thing, eating all these extra humans and, you know, all these extra human.

What the fuck? What are you saying? The virus is a real thing, eating all these extra humans. Yeah.

What does that what do you mean what kind of way to describe it is that. Well, that's how I look at it. Eating all these extra humans. We have extra humans right now.

We have way too many humans. You can't say it like that.

Well, it's the truth. You know how sometimes you have moss that's growing and it comes up just up to the edge of the walkway and you're like, that looks pretty, right?

And then it starts going over onto the brick and starts. We are the moss and we're covering the bricks now and something's showing up and scaling us back a little bit.

Or there was an experimental virus there working.

On the one hand, what does it level four lab and it got out of Sweden.

Do you think that's where the lockdown says restrictions will remain for at least another year? Yeah, but the restrictions are very different. The restrictions are for really large gatherings. But you can go to restaurants. You can go to bars.

Yes, but there's still restrictions. The virus is a real thing. Go all around the planet and it's going to be a little bit it's going to be till June. By the way, I heard in Denver.

How does he know that in Denver, the people who told you about eating?

Because they so they told me that this pilot was talking to me at the show and he said his doctor of some note was saying that all of our pandemics have lasted 18 months, despite what we try to do, restrictions, no restrictions.

It runs its course. Eighteen months is about where the fire starts to subside and you go back to normal Storck, historically speaking.

And this one and because it's one hundred years in between pandemics, nobody's around to, like, give you lessons from the last one. So we make all the same mistakes.

And if you go by that, it's about June from when this virus started.

We're talking about June when we're back to normal, which is kind of upsetting, but kind of nice also that you have an end date. You know, it's kind of late, right? That's annoying. I get to wear masks and do all this stuff and be kind of messed up.

But until June, that's kind of nice. I can maybe make some plans. I can make her a Fourth of July.

How many businesses are we going to lose between now and June, though? I think the real the real issue is people putting restrictions on what people can and can't do.

That's the real problem, is you're basically giving up your constitutional rights and there's there's no real protection for you this way, right?

There's no real protection for your business. There's no real protection for your livelihood. Well, and even because even with all this, you're still dealing with other kinds of horrible deaths and other kinds of horrible things that go along with the economic despair. Sure. Like how many people are going to die because of drug overdoses or depression or suicide. Yes. Yeah, these have to be factored in, too.

They totally do. And I really get the feeling. But there's a there's the the middle ground. Right. But the narrative in this Fox narrative, there is the there's the truth. And I I saw it in Portland. I saw it in Connecticut. I saw it in Salt Lake City. What do you see performed in all these places? And they are all wearing masks, but their businesses are open. Yes.

And well, that's what we're seeing in L.A. a long time ago. Yes. They're testing. They've got the mask on.

They're distancing like I ate in restaurants. But, you know, it's to capacity. I performed in comedy clubs, half capacity. But here's the thing, not just because of my comedic draw.

I don't think I don't think that that's scientific because there's aerosol. The virus is carried through the air now.

Yeah, this is pretty much been confirmed. Yeah.

They used to think it carried through droplets, which is the reason for the whole six foot social distancing space.

They don't think that's the case anymore. They think it's airborne. So if that's the case, all that social distancing stuff is horseshit because it's in the air, but not if you're social distance and have a mask on.

I'm telling you, the social distancing thing doesn't mean anything anymore. What you would there say?

You can be close with a mask. You, but you're still in a mask. A lot of these massive holes in them. Well, yeah, but a lot of these masks, like you see these paper, massive people out with the wire, there's an opening in the top is opening in the side.

There's a lot of Scots not saying it's not a good idea to wear a mask and maybe it reduces some of the droplets. Maybe I'm not a scientist, neither of you. But what I am saying is I don't know how much I think what you're getting is you're getting a lot of people that are healthy and they're going out and they don't have it and they're not giving it to anybody because they don't have it. And you're getting away with it. And everybody's wearing masks.

And it's good to be cautious. But I don't necessarily know if you were in a room filled with people who had covid and you unless you had a ninety five mask once you have a real mask, I don't know if those fucking cloth masks are going to help you.

I think they work. I mean, because look, you look at these places. What are you basing that on. I'm basing it on cities where they have the mask as a as a thing. And they made it that mandatory that you wear these masks and the numbers go to everyone, does everyone everywhere.

You have to wear a mask, the whole country now.

But it wasn't I mean, this was fits and starts and, you know, people screwing around.

There's all sorts of weird shit I travel. The protests were a big kick in the virus. That was a giant uptick, right?

Of course. And there was a lot of people out there with no masks, not just that. They're just bumper to bumper with each other right next to each other and screaming right now. And it's in the air, especially at nighttime.

They think the sun kills it, like almost instantly. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. There's been studies on UV light and UV light kills it almost instantly. Right. So sunlight and even simulated sunlight can kill it all.

Look. Any precautions you're playing the odds? Yeah, right. You want to do all the things that you can. I want the steroids at Trump Trumpton, that's what I want them to. And I want the vaccine.

I want shit that the Rock had when I was doing Jumanji. That's the game that gave them all the good stuff. Yeah. The really good stuff and shots in the ass. Did you see I want to remember when you were a kid and you got a shot in your butt cheek. I do. Those things worked. That's what we need to bring back.

Asked what shots did they give you in your butt? I don't I don't know. But they were. No. And you didn't want to go back to the doctor. They have something, man. Take your pants off and make you cry in front of your mom. So you stayed healthy.

I never cried on my body with you sticking your ass out of your car window to get your back seat.

That would be hilarious if everybody just, like, parked with their butt right up to the driver's side window. Oh, so look.

All of this is kind of like it's going to run its course. Hold on second, but you can do things calmly.

Also revealed Trump has been treated with dexamethasone and immunosuppressant steroids that can cause euphoric mood changes.

Well, there's this tweet that's doing wheelies in the parking lot. Since then, people have posted online about their own experience with the drug. Interesting.

And immunosuppressants to that's what's interesting, too, is like they say that one of the things that happens with this disease is you you actually don't want the immune system to react too violently to the disease, which is or to that too aggressively to the disease.

So they're given I don't understand the logic behind that because I'm stupid.

I try to read that article. It was complicated. Like it made me think how amazing the human body is. This immune system, like the stages of the immune system, like it originally, comes out and gives you a dose of stuff and surrounds the virus.

And then it goes up and then it ramps up and then it reboots and then sends another part. It was like four stages of what your immune system does. And because it has to be ramped up to attack this virus, it could actually hurt you more than the virus.

Well, here's what is dexamethasone do.

Dexamethasone is a quarter corticosteroid hormone that decreases the body's natural immune response, reduces swelling and allergic reaction symptoms. Asthma medication treats a number of conditions, including asthma, IBS, Crohn's disease and a number of lymphomas. It is used to treat covid-19 because serious cases can provoke an exaggerated immune response, releasing under a large number of pro inflammatory cytokines in what's known as a cytokine storm. I've heard that as immunosuppressant dexamethasone is thought to help reduce the likelihood of the body's overreaction to the virus.

Researchers found dexamethasone to significantly reduce mortality among seriously ill i.e. hospitalized covid-19 patients. Scientists have said it may prevent one in three deaths among patients on ventilators. Wow, interesting.

Yes. So they gave him they threw the kitchen sink at it immediately and it worked. Yeah. You're the president of the United States. You should get everything they possibly have on getting at this by fucking with you here.

Is that in these times where things are very unsure, a lot of times people like to say exactly what you need to do and what's happening.

As long as people do this, we're OK. As long as we wear a mask, we're OK.

And I'm not sure I'm not sure that's the case.

OK, but we're all going to get it. That's what I think.

Well, that is within that is the reality of what I'm saying, that doctors saying that Gecko's 18 months, but I don't know, because he months I mean, everybody gets it.

You're going to come in contact with it. Right. And some people's immune system just beats it.

That's what that's what I kind of after looking at it globally last night and what that doctor said of this timeline, which is total hearsay, but it seems to make sense.

It was it made me think all of this is noise and us all freaking out.

What about my job? What about the mask? What about this? What do we do? Is it real? Is it not data?

And it's all we're all freaking out and it's going to run its course either way, despite how crazy we get, this virus is going to run its course.

And a year and a half, it's going to kind of exactly listen what you're saying.

You're talking as if you know what's going to happen, I'm guessing. But but see what people do. You just sort of lay it out there. Do people do this at cocktail parties like you say? Yeah, well, we got to do we got to. This is how it's going to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you feel comfortable by that? Of course. Comforted by that. And then you go home.

Well, relax, if I if you say if you say to a roomful of people, I feel like I'm getting something, everybody there knows what to do. They run away from you got to take zinc. You got to take this. You've got right. You chicken soup. You know, you've got you've got to get ginger. There's this ginger drink. Everybody has the idea. And that's what I'm trying to say. Like we're all trying to control the universe.

But this thing's going to run its course. It's going to happen. We don't really have that much control.

Well, it's insanely contagious. Santino caught it giving a guy a ride home, a ten minute ride home with the windows open. And he caught it. No mask. No, they weren't wearing masks.

Hmm. Yeah, Guy didn't know he had it. No symptoms, no coughing, no nothing. Right. Give him a ride home for ten minutes.

How did he know that that was the guy?

Because the guy called him afterwards a couple days later and says, I got it. And then Santino was like, fuck. And then a couple of days after that, Santino has it. I like Foushee.

He looks like a little guy from the Bronx and he's kind of makes me feel comfortable.

And he's on the in the administration part of the Trump team. And he's saying, please just wear the mask. Yes, but, you know, initially he didn't say that. And the reason why he didn't say that is because he wanted to make sure there's mass for first responders. Right. The problem with that mean that means you lied. That means he said something that he knew wasn't true.

I'm not perfect. Everybody lies. He said something he knew wasn't true because he wanted people to react in a certain way. But then they still expect he still expects them to trust him after that. Well, I'm not saying you shouldn't trust him. I hear you. I'm not saying it's wise or unwise, but I'm saying in that circumstance, I wouldn't have recommended he do that. Of course not. I mean, the idea was that we were panicked and he thought, like, look, if I tell people, everybody get a mask, then there's going to be this nationwide shortage of a shortage of masks, 100 percent.

The I read this article of countries that have done better than other countries, South Korea, New Zealand.

They have advantages about isolation, isolation and all that kind of stuff and fewer people.

But the main thing that they were saying is communication. Tell people the truth and they'll react accordingly. And it comes the Osteria puts trust in the people that are giving you the advice. So if he had come out and said, Mascha, important, use a bandana and leave these for the health care workers, these are very important that these people on the front lines get it.

That would have been so much better because then we wouldn't have the discussion when it comes to bandanas are useless.

They look cool, though. Not really. It look better than the plastic ones.

If you weren't in a pandemic and you're wearing a bandanna over your face like that, you were either a douche bag or a bank robber.

But what about when you pull it down around your neck? They look like you look like you're at Studio 54.

Kris Kristofferson found you or your guys at the range. Like a lot of guys at the gun range, they'll put bandanas around their neck because shells come flying hot shells. Right. They can land on your collar and burn your neck.

I like what I used to wear it when I was on my motorcycle. I would wear a bandanna up for that same reason. Yeah, road stuff. And then you walk into the bar afterwards and you pull it down thinking about it.

You look like a badass. Yeah, yeah. You take that little disposable paper thing and put it down your neck.

No one's looking at you, my friend Jeff, who's a doctor, he said that's the worst thing. You can wear those bandanas. He says, yeah. He said, cloth master better the thicker they'll protect you more it goes. But you really want an end 95 mask. Yeah, that's the real deal.

I've been in my travels. I've been on four or five round trip flights and I've been wearing the paper one. The disposable ones.

Yeah, the paper ones are OK as long as they're easiest to breathe in, which makes me suspicious. I know that's I was thinking the same thing. I that's what I was saying. I think if it's airborne. Yeah. I don't know that shit is blocking that much.

I know. I'm like I wear the bandana, I'm suffocating. So then I put on the the disposable one. I'm like, oh this is good. I can go all the way to New York like this.

What do you think's larger the virus in the air, in aerosol or fart particles.

Because I guarantee you that made me suspicious too, because as a hard fart, there was I got on I got on the tram in Denver and at like eight in the morning and someone led a meaty one up.

I mean, one of those lasagna farts and the whole place we're all in masks and everyone was horrified. I'm like, how stupid. Say anything. No, they didn't have to use your facial expression.

She says on this, oh, there's a couple I met.

I made eye contact with the lady next and we both gave an eye roll just to tell each other it wasn't us, but somebody let it through.

And I'm like, if this farts getting through, Joey Diaz fired on a plane. It was so bad. I wrote a story about it.

I did, but I wrote fucking it's called Happy Pills. It's probably still out there on the Internet somewhere.

It was on my blog, but he wrote he cut a fart that was so bad. And I was in the middle of, like, thinking about I was like thinking about life and people getting older.

I was thinking and I was listening to Jimi Hendrix and I was high and and he cut this fart and this lady behind us goes, oh, my God, I heard he starts laughing, he starts laughing.

And I put my shirt over my face. Oh, my God. It's so bad. It was so bad.

Oh, it's the worst summer. So powerful that if a fart can make it through pants, how can a mask protect you from a virus? Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Who wrote this article?

Johnny farts a lot like a Yahoo News thing. The fart particles are way smaller, apparently.

Kristen May. Oh, Dr. McQueen a thousand times. Dr. McQueen.

Fart particles are smaller than the virus. Yeah, that's why. Hmm. Wow. Tiny, stinky fart molecules.

See, for three, S.H. is a rather small molecule with a diameter around. Oh my God. Like the way they've measured. Yeah, this is science by comparison, viruses typically range diameter for much more, much larger covid-19 being about 60 to 140 am.

I don't know what that means. What does that nanometres or I'm not sure.

OK, so farts are smaller. The virus is 100 to 1000 times bigger than a fart molecule.

What about a virus goes through FART'S? Oh, wait a minute, hold on. Go back to that, he goes they explain how in 95 mass work like that and 95 Mass is capable of filtering 95 percent of test aerosol containing the average particle size of 300 and M basically and 95 mass because it tight weave pattern with multiple layers of serve as a barrier to larger structures like viruses or simple simply spittle.

Yeah, that works that that stuff works as a reason. Doctors wear that stuff for all sorts of things. Right.

Keith Robinson, once the good pal and comedian we were at risk, goes across and Radio City Music Hall.

It's still Fresco's. Yeah, great place.

Great place, huge. It's two floors, but there's no ceiling over the first floor dining section. So it's just like 50 feet high in the air. We had this big dinner, the steak dinner. I mean, it's a massive place with huge ventilation, like you could do a show there now for in the middle of a pandemic and everyone would be safe. And he farted on our way out of there.

He cropdusters the whole place.

Other tables were putting napkins over their face, dropping silverware.

It was Tapout was that bad?

Just toxic. What was he eating?

I don't know.

It's usually these all these decaying. What's that? It's a mixture of things usually. Like when you mix broccoli and meat.

Well, or some beans, some beans following that up.

Now, it's disgusting now. But I was. I was. But by the way, I leave.

The reason I started, like even looking at, like, the perception of it all and trying to look at it in a global way because it is confusing, it's it's this whole thing is very confusing. And that we're in the middle of an election makes it so confusing because everyone's using whatever little information they have to their advantage.

But there's also the confusion of I'm in L.A., I go to LAX. Joe, I could have gotten there five minutes before my flight. Yeah, I'm the only guy going through security. I'm walk right up to the gate and get on the plane like, no wait at no traffic going down, no wait at all.

That's unheard of. And I land in Denver. It's like it's twenty eighteen packed, you know, that big yeah, that's real America, Tom. I was telling you, I know you're living in this bullshit liberal communist, Marxist, phony state. It's a nation state. It's controlled by a dictator named Gavin Newsom. And he wants you to be poor. Why would he want me to be?

Because he wants more hair. He wants it wants to use your money to grow his hair thicker. You ever see his sexy shot? Have you ever seen a sexy shot? You never saw the sexy shot.

Who was the woman that gave the that he used to date?

Who's now on the Trump? Oh, that was Gabe wife. Yeah, the Donald Trump. Jr.'s girlfriend is his ex-wife. Yeah. I had no idea before she got to see made together before he ruined San Francisco.

They were together. Yeah, there were. They're laying on like a bearskin rug. Oh no. Oh yeah. They call them the new Kennedys Jaimie's. You got it boy.

Oh what. Who let them take that picture. Who. Why would you do that. It's funny. Jimmy Kimmel used that. Why would you do that if you're hilarious.

Who who said yes to that. What serious politician poses on the floor with your knee up, the kind that wants to wreck the whole state?

We've got to get the lock down.

I have to say, when he was giving the speeches in the beginning of the lockdown, I like hearing him.

Well, he sounds good. He does. Handsome man. He he looks very distinguished. His voice is good, but raspy, draconian laws.

These draconian enforcements, the way they're handling it, it's just what state do you think is handling it the right way?

Like where do you think it? Who's who's got kind of like it down Florida? You think they're like Buck Wild.

Let's go. Florida doesn't give a fuck. Disney World, you're open Jimmy Buffet concert.

You can do whatever you want. You can you could we could do stand up in an arena in Florida.

I'm not kidding. I know no social distancing, no mass requirement.

Now, what's happening to their numbers? They did this, what, two weeks ago? They're fine. Everyone's getting stronger and younger. They're going to go back in time. You never get any older and you never they look better than they have ever looked. They're the only ones free in this whole country. They're the most American people in America.

Freedom is kind of overrated, don't you think?

Listen to this fucking communist. They got you beaten down. I understand you have a mortgage. You got to stay in California. Who tried to swallow the Kool-Aid? No, take it down. And and sperm like chunks.

You just trying to swallow it. And the chunky sauce of Gavin Newsom, you're sucking it down your pipe right now, but there's no difference.

What's the difference? Restaurants. You can't go to comedy clubs you can't go to, restaurants you can't go to. You can only go to comedy clubs. You can't go to retail stores. You can go to retail stores.

You can't go to any retail store in a mall that doesn't have an outside entrance.

What? Yes, I was just at the mall.

Yes, you can go to like Nordstrom's because they got an outside entrance. So I went to this stuff inside. Well, unless they've changed it recently, that's how it's a whole euphoria.

Now, you got to come. You've got to move back. It's amazing propaganda. So I told you, Jamie, I told you we can't have him on these. He's he's done he's he's got a fever.

I just got test. I know you are negative, but I want to test your forehead. I want to see if you got something else. I want to see if you have a fever.

What is the difference between L.A. and I. Now, I'm asking this honestly because I was kind of trying to figure it out because I honestly, I'm all fucking around.

People are less scared here. Yes. They're first of all, they're way friendlier here. Yeah. It's just it just seems more relaxed.

You can work, you can go to work, you wear a mask and you go to work. Right. And it I mean, I'm sure there are some cases, but deaths are way down everywhere in the country. You know, that they used to be climbing and climbing, climbing. Now it's like it was two thousand two hundred and 8000 people. Now it's two hundred nine thousand people. When you're dealing with three hundred and twenty million plus people, it's a relatively small number of people dying from it.

So they have the remedies better. They have the treatment, the different treatments better.

Yeah, for sure. You know, it's still sucks. I don't want to get it, but everybody that I know that's got us kicked it pretty easy except Michael Yo and Michael Yo is in a bad state. When he got it, he was really run down. Right. But broken down. Yeah.

He had been traveling a lot and he has low vitamin D admittedly wasn't taking vitamin D, which is apparently a big factor in your immune system.

I do feel like that. That's probably like the places that I've been there. They're not ignoring it. It's not Florida. You can't they're not ignoring it. Florida, I don't think Florida is really ignoring it. But the governor all bullshit aside, the governor put a chart up and he was saying the issue that we really need to concern ourselves with is people 70 plus 70 plus of the ones who have a significant risk of dying. And he's saying everybody else will really need to consider is the people that have underlying conditions.

And we need to, you know, those people. I mean, this is what should have been done all along, the people that are at high risk should have been sheltered. Right. But shutting everything down is an economic disaster, right? That's where we're at. Right.

And like they shot the Comedy Store down when they were trying to do shows outside in the parking lot with them with a fucking snot shield in front of everybody.

I know they had a big glass shield in front of the audience. Yeah. And they still said no outside. It's ridiculous. And the restaurant outside.

But you can't do stand up in the parking lot of the store.

I don't get that at all because there's no there's literally no there's no difference. And there's and I you know, I've performed in a lot of places.

I was in a casino in Connecticut and, you know, everyone's wearing masks and was doing the right thing.

I'd rather catch covid to do a casino in Connecticut. I am not proud of it, but I'm not really I'm not proud of it. But I wish casino I had to go see my family in Mohegan Sun.

And I mean, doing the shows was so great. Oh, the Comedy Store documentary.

I got to see it for my radio show. I got to see all the way through. They sent it to me in advance.

It's really good TV. It's really great.

It's there's a real depth to it.

Your part is amazing and it's just amazing.

Like what you did for that club was. Yeah, everybody kind of knows, like how you had such an impact on it.

But actually seeing it, you know, we're with you all the time and you see the but seeing like in a documentary style starting with them and see of it and getting to now man made me want to kiss you right on the lips.

A threat. He's threatening me now. Jesus, Jamie, really, he's come here.

It really is such a great because to have such a historic place that was so bright and great and then really decimated and fell on its ass.

And you're really the force that brought it back to this was like, oh, it was it was just great.

It was so great. And watching your story was really, really cool. Oh, thanks, man.

Yes, it was heavy. It was weird to make a bunch times thinking about Mitzy. Yeah, no, yeah.

I'm thinking about the old days, but what it was like to come there, you know, just to be a paid regular there. It's, you know, it's such a polarizing place. So many people have a negative impression of it because it's such a difficult club and there's so many killers there and a lot of people just didn't feel like they got the respect that they deserved there. But it's it's not the case. You just it's you needed a higher level.

It's hard. You're going up you're on a line up with fifteen murderers and everyone's killing in front of you.

And there's a lot of people that would go there and they would have like sort of mediocre sets and they would be upset because they had a career like they'd be on television shows. Sure. Doing things. Yeah.

And the Comedy Store, like, you know, when I watch sports for years, like, what the fuck? And they would harbor this terrible resentment and they wouldn't talk about it. Like years later they would say, you know, I had to prove myself at that place like, hey man, everybody had to prove yourself at that place.

They don't they don't give a fuck if you're on a TV show, they don't give a fuck. No one cares.

No. And it's it's not a it's not an easy place. Just like you take the booking out of it.

Yeah. Getting up and performing in any of those rooms, you got to be good.

You've got to work and you not only have to be good, you have to learn that room, all those rooms. It's it's tough. Yeah.

It's a tough one. But the exciting thing is the people that do come through and the people that are coming up, like Laura Bede's, like Annie Letterman, like all the all these young kids that are coming up, Ali Markowski. And then, you know, you have these people that are you know, they're they're an established and looking to break through like Tony Hinchcliffe.

Yeah. Guys who are killers. Yeah. And there's so many of them.

And it makes you like if you can stick it out, it really does make, you know, for some people, like they like the UCB, they liked these places where they could go comforting. Everybody was relaxed, everybody supporting. Yeah. It was loves you.

It was a lower level of comedy and the audience was a little bit more enthusiastic about laughing. Yeah.

And nobody is going to no one's going to bomb this. Also, there's a darkness to the store that's undeniable. And I think it comes from it being Ciro's nightclub because it was Bugsy Siegel nightclub and people were legitimately murdered there.

I know that is one hundred percent exact. People were murdered at the Comedy Store.

Yeah. Who owns Serros? Was that Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy Siegel.

Bugsy Siegel owned zero do their old school pictures.

There's old school pictures of serials that are amazing where you could see the stage where we perform on. But instead, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin are on that stage.

Yeah, doing a live show now.

What is that? Because there are places that the place has a magic to it. Yeah, right. There are places that just undeniably succeed and there is other places that never really get it going. And I'm talking about restaurants or hotel or just like there's some there's a magic to certain, I think spots things have Rupert Sheldrake believe this. He believes that he's a. The intellectual I forget what his actual discipline is as any biologist, what was Rupert Sheldrake, some mathematician, figure out what exactly does?

But he has this concept that everything has memory and he believed in this thing called morphic resonance.

And all these things are connected in some sort of indescribable, unmeasurable way. But I'm probably butchering that. But he also believes that things have memory, a type of memory.

And this is the reason why people don't want to live in a house where someone was murdered, right?

Yeah, I could feel it. Yeah. You don't want to buy a car that some blew their brains out in, right.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I remember that movie Stephen King movie. Christine. Yeah. Awesome.

So that better book book books. Fucking incredible. Yeah. I hate when people say that, but it really is. Yeah. It's more of a read. The book is way more in depth and just it's a slower process of the kid who owns the car going crazy. Oh nice. Yeah. And it's you know, someone died in the car, the guy, the guy who owned it, he wanted the car so great. That was the story that someone died in the car.

So great to know things.

Definitely. Yeah.

But you wouldn't want you wouldn't even want to buy an asshole's car. I'll give you. You had some person who really mean he's a real shitty person. You wouldn't buy their car. Yeah. Around their car.

Now like when you go look like when you go to buy a car or buy a house, you walk in and you know, if you if it fits you.

Yeah, that's a thing. Sure. It's a vibe that's. You get it. Yeah. You know, there's something there, there's something beyond what you're seeing.

Yeah. Like if you buy a house and you meet the owner and you get along great with them, you're real friendly. Like that's that's a nice feeling. Yeah.

Yeah. We got, we bought Mike's house. Right. Yeah exactly. There's a little story to it. Yeah. And that's the thing with the store.

There is really a long story of show business. Yeah.

In that spot. And it's. It is. It's got many edges to it, which is just like comedy.

The thing that I loved about the store is not just that, it's just this historic place where all these great comics started out like Kinnison and Richard Pryor and all these people made their mark there.

But it's it's also a place where everybody worked out there.

So there's failure in that room, too. There's the potential for failure.

It's not a place where you film things all the time and everything's perfect and it's all polished. And now there's you work.

It's a gym. Right.

It's got edge to it. And it's got you know, there's people people went up on stage. They're too drunk. They went up coked up.

I say they failed. They got in fights with audience members, you know?

Yeah, it's it's just it's got it's got so much humanity to it.

The coolest part, I think. Of the old crew was watching the Jim Carrey stuff. Hmm, how, you know, he was kicking ass and pretty successful in killing in the room and then changes his act and sucks for a long time as he's leaving the impressions and going into other stuff.

And I mean the the balls of that. Yeah. In that end, you just see him in the hallway. There's pictures of him just sweating.

He's just drenched and he doesn't know what he's doing, but that they supported him and let him do that in that room like that.

Because, you know, when you're there, people are throwing fastballs, everyone's great and everyone's yelling. And then you've got to be humble to get up there and really stick to your guns. Yeah. And try your new shit and suck.

And when you saw the old guys that aren't really around him, what was it Tim Thomasin is one of. Yeah, you saw you saw these guys that they said was like a killer killer.

Seem like a killer. Yeah.

But you realize, like, all these guys come in waves now, you know, I mean, there's these guys that if you don't know any better, like you might not know who Rick Ingram is.

Right. You might not follow that motherfucker or he's thrown some 94 miles an hour right down the pipe.

You're there with your new notes. Good luck, bitch.

Or, you know, you might go on after Sarah Silverman murder. So you might going after Iliza Schlesinger gets a fucking standing ovation. Yeah. Yeah, that place is crazy, man.

I know. And it was filled with good feelings and bad feelings.

And there was a lot of emotions and there was a lot of arguments and there was a lot of tension.

Yeah, but the last few years was the most comaraderie, the most the most warmth and supportive that I've ever felt it there.

Oh, and I think I attribute that to the Internet. I attribute that the podcast because I felt like it was a time of bounty, that it wasn't a time of famine. And in the past it was everyone had this famine mentality because like, if you got a sitcom and I was trying out for the same part, I felt like you took something from me, like, fuck, I was one part in the sitcom and Tom got it. Or if you were trying out for a game show, are you trying out for a talk show?

Yeah. And there's no five of us are out for it and one of us gets it. So there's this weird, creepy competitiveness. Right.

And if you were on a morning radio show and then there was a guy who was across town that was on the radio the same time, you weren't his buddy.

Right?

Like we're friends and we also have podcast. And I tell people, listen to Tom Poppa's podcast. Listen to Tom Babas radio show, listen to Fortune Farmstand and Tom Pomper on Sirius. Yeah, they're both great.

There's a camaraderie. There's a different thing now. It's like we support each other. Like I don't think of you in Fortune as being competitors. I think you've been my friends.

Oh, you should.

A fortune says about you and you learn, oh, I know you in that what you know, are we going to kill my wife?

But there's none of that in this community like everybody does. Everybody's podcast.

That's a great insight. It's never happened before. No, never been like that before.

No. Yeah.

I mean, even when we started, guys helped each other before a little bit, but only if it didn't hurt them. Right now.

You don't have to worry about hurting you. It only helps you like if I help you, it only helps me because people know you're funny and they go, Oh, I can listen to Joe because every time he tells you about a comic, I know they're funny, right? Because he's telling the truth.

That's right. I won't have people on that suck.

And I've had people ask where I am. I can't do it. I can't do it.

Sometimes people get real edgy. They don't get a response. I have to hide it to myself. I have to change my phone number. That's where Jamie comes in. He's no Jamie. Shit. Insulate.

Good luck getting through Jamie Jamie's Fort Knox motherfucker. You can get in through that wall.

I think about Jamie every time something technologically doesn't work, I'm like, oh, hey, Jamie can fix this in a sec. He'll figure it out.

But as far as, like, getting through to him to get to the show, he is the least approachable.

I remember I remember when I got a pilot or something. And early on and Giraldo, my great Gerardus, my friend said we all went out to dinner with Sandy and Mandy from the Comedy Cellar and Greg and his wife and myself and my wife and Greg took me aside and he said, Dude, I have to I this is how much I love you.

I am genuinely happy for you.

I know people say like, oh, I'm happy for you, I suppose.

But it was so unusual to truly be happy for other comedians that he had to take me aside and say, no joke, this is I am so happy for you.

And he didn't have his own ego involved. He didn't have any of that.

And at that time, you're right, that was an unusual position to be in.

It was only a few friends that I had that were we were real tight like that all throughout comedy like Joey Diaz, for sure.

Or shooting. We're always Duncan Trussell. There's a lot of those guys that it was real tight with from the beginning.

Yeah, but Greg was or Greg Giraldo, not just Fitzsimmons.

Just such a smart person, just an interesting person, you know, I was really lucky I knew Greg from New York, but we also were on the set together because news radio was being filmed right next to his show when Common-Law Law.

Right. We're on the same set. Oh, wow.

So I would hang out with them all the time. We go out in the parking lot and run into each other from L.A. That's from New York. You know, that was a fun time.

And also the John Larroquette show was there, too, and pretty sure.

Yeah. Wasn't Lenny Clark on The John Larroquette Show? That sounds pretty sure Lenny Clark was on that show. Yeah.

Something it sounds familiar. But that was there, was it Lenny Clarke was the that Joe. I think, yeah, that's a hard one, good luck spelling that Lenny Clarke was on that, uh, TV shows such as Rob and John Larroquette show.

Yes. OK, so Lenny was there, too.

Well, I'm trying to remember it, but I didn't run into Lenny as much, but I ran into and also, you know, who else was that? Joey Lawrence.

Oh, really? Yeah. Joey Lawrence. We used to sit in his car was fabulous hair. I was always so jealous of his hair because that was right. My hair was really like struggling. And he would sit in his car and he was like fucking 12 years old.

Yeah. There's Lenny Clarke. Oh, yeah. Look at him. I love that motherfucker.

I a force. Yeah. And Ron punches. That's not right. Oh, son of a bitch. Looks like he's so much older than Ron. Shut up.

I mean, really black.

So they were they were right next door. And Joey Lawrence, his show was there.

And so he would sit in his car. He had like, you know, he's like fucking 12 years old or something. And he had some ridiculous he's probably 20.

But he said he's ridiculously expensive car that I could never afford anybody playing his own music.

Yeah. So he had his door open and he'd be like sitting there jamming to his own music really loud, his own music. And I'd be like, look at that.

I live my life I could think of was like, uh, how many girls must be throwing themselves at Joey Lawrence.

Oh my God. He's they're playing his own music.

There he is. Oh, yes. Very beautiful. I've never had hair. That could mean ever. I had I had to take a week when I was seven. My hair was.

Yeah. Like this. Yeah. It's great. Yes. Yeah.

That eighties like graffiti in the back and the big jacket. Jackie looks like Madonna and he was like Madonna. He looks like Madonna.

He's got this. Why does he have the shirt tied around his waist. I feel like you could give that to shirts you're filming and that shirt off to somebody.

Is that like a look? See, Joe, that's why you were never a hard drive. You don't understand the intricacies of a lot of reasons why I was never a heartthrob.

I'm not good-Looking, you know, but the value is adorable. It's a different look that he's got. Oh, I love picturing him in his show, in his car, listening to his own music.

Yeah, that's what we doing.

And we would be like, well, look at that live living their life, living la vida loca.

I remember that when Greg was doing that show, he had this guy that was running the show who was just like we didn't you know, you didn't know anybody from L.A. who wrote shows.

So they just matched him up with some guy. And he came by the seller and and I met him and I was just like, you know, when you meet people who like they just don't give a shit. Like, you could tell he was just getting paid. And it's just another pilot.

He's going to have fifty more. He's already been 25.

And he was we were like, you know, you should really do this, Greg. He's just like, Yeah. And you just knew in his eyes, like, this guy's not really going to help Greg.

Well, people don't know what we're talking about, but we should try to explain that there was a time where you would go to the Montreal Comedy Festival and you get a development deal.

And this is like everybody would cash in, go get a development deal, and then you they would try to do a pilot.

And I knew so many people that lost their fucking minds when they got deals to do.

A pilot.

I had a phone call from this guy. I'm not going to say his name, but he was terrible comedian. He calls you and says, hey, listen, I know you've got to show that you working on right now, but I'm telling you, my show is going to go to air and I want you to play my brother. I was like, what is I know it's a small show, but the show's guaranteed air never. Of course not.

And he starts telling me all these crazy things like like there's a guaranteed pick up. And if this doesn't pick up, then NBC Universal's got second position and they're going to pick it up like he was drinking the Kool-Aid. It was like the craziest conversation. It's hardly the first time around.

Nothing ever happened from nothing. Nothing ever happened for him. What? I mean nothing. I mean nothing. I mean, that went away. And then he never really had a standup career, never had anything. Who was it?

Again, I'm not saying. But the conversation was so bizarre. Yeah.

Because he called me up. I was in the middle of filming something and he was telling me, listen, forget that bullshit. Yeah. I've got a thing.

This is going to go it hits people because it hit so many people. Yeah.

With ego. I knew someone who all of a sudden had an assistant. I'm like, why do you have an assistant? Right. Like, what do you I don't know. I got on the plane. Right. I tell people, don't get an assistant, do less shit.

You need assistance, Systema. Just do less thing.

Sarah says that to Sarah Silverman says smart lady. Yeah, that's that's the move. Yeah. Do less thing.

Right. You need a fucking assistant. Like what are you doing.

Some people like it's the ego stroke of it's like they know that famous people have assistants. They chose the pad.

Would you like Tom latte latte. Quanti Quandialla daytop. Yeah. Coming up with stuff for them to do.

But the problem with assistances, sometimes they tasa you like David Spade's.

Yeah. Yeah. No I know fucking I try to counter those stories. That guy wanted to kill them. Too close. Yeah. Way too close. Yeah he. Well maybe David was nice to him.

I mean it's just now, I mean probably not that big a stretch to say felt a little demeaned. I mean I don't know what happened.

I'm sure he just, he just you could misconstrues could be just his attitude, this smug asides. Yeah. That's just how serious he thought he was serious.

I mean it was just jokes, just jokes.

But that was a heady time. I kind of just missed that time. Like when. Because that was the way for comedians was the sitcom. Yeah. It was the Roseanne.

The same exact all this everybody everybody on down convinced that that was what you needed to do. That was the formula. And so you would do it and then you would get on a show and then hopefully people would come to see you at comedy clubs. That's my strategy. I was like I was hoping I could get a special somewhere and I was hoping someone would come to see me at comedy clubs.

I had the I had the thing where I just never thought I was ready for it. Like he when I had, like, my first pilot, it was like, yeah, we'll see. And like, guys with huge egos would be like, I have this is my thing. I'm going to make this the thing.

And I was always like, I don't know if I'm really people might think I have a huge good enough because it seems like I do. But honestly, I've never thought that anything that I was doing was going to work. Yeah. I always thought it was going to be canceled. I never thought like I did jokes about Fear Factor being canceled the very moment it was on the air. And I'm like, I'm doing the show is not going to fucking.

Last night it was their second dogs on people making them eat animal dicks.

How long are we going to do this or even Newsradio like that was that was a great show to kind of check your ego, because I was only one of eight people.

And the other people, especially Phil Hartman and Dave Foley, were much more famous and much more talented.

And it was like it was an it was like I had an opportunity to do like an apprenticeship, like I had an opportunity to learn what it's like to I've never taken I took a few acting classes, private lessons when I had gotten a development deal, but I never acted right.

And then all of a sudden, a couple of months later, I'm on TV like literally is very little preparation.

And I'm sitting there next to Phil Hartman.

It's on a TV show that if you watch those old news radios, it looks like it like that, because my character had to be kind of like kind of innocent and stupid and and I was like really into conspiracies, which they made that so far because of me, because I really was really into conspiracies.

They kind of turned my character that way. But while I was there, I was kind of like, oh, is this really happening? Like even while I was doing it?

Well, that's what's wild about it is a lot of moments in this career. So cute. Oh, adorable. Fresh face. Twenty seven year old at twenty seven.

But then it's it's weird because you get into a situation where you. You have to be great at it while you're learning it. Yeah, like that is a but the thing is.

But you were surrounded by good people and it's also it's sitcom acting. Right. And standup is harder than that. And I had already been doing standup for six years.

But where you were, did you believe that you walked in there? Didn't you think this is God? Yes. This has got to be harder. No, no, you it's definitely. Oh, I know it is.

But when you first showed up on set, weren't you scared? Like. No, I don't know. No, no. I thought it was easier for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was definitely easier because you could do it again like you did in front of a live audience.

If you fucked up like we fucked up all the time, we would laugh about it and we would do a retake. Like I was always laughing when I would do scenes with Andy Dick, I could never keep it together. Oh, really? I try to keep a straight face and I would always crack.

He was so funny, man.

I mean, it's so self-destructive and so crazy, but so fucking talented.

So Andy Dick is literally one of the funniest human beings I've ever done anything with, just so. But you can't after a while, you're like, I can't do this anymore. You're just too crazy, but so talented.

And when he and I had this weird sort of dynamic on the show and we had these hilarious scenes together and, you know, he would it was so hard to do so you'd be able to, like, fuck up and laugh.

And then the audience actually got a kick out of it. Yeah. Because they got to see how the sausage was made. Right.

They got to see the behind the scenes because you're breaking away easier if you fall behind, they give it to you, redo it. It's 100 times easier than it is. Yeah.

But when you don't know it, yours was the Ray Romano role, right. Well, sort of. I took the Ray Romano role that someone else took. See what happens. Ray got fired from the pilot. They brought in another guy for the pilot. That guy did the pilot. There was another guy in the original episode on Newsradio that played me. And then they fired that guy. And then I entered into a cattle call. And there's like a hundred dudes that auditioned for the part and I wound up getting it.

Wow. Yeah. All right, that's good. But I got a development deal with NBC to do my own show.

Oh. So they could use your contract and put you in that. Yeah. So in the middle of the development deal, they're trying to find me writers. We're talking about different projects. Yeah. And they say to me, hey, we have this show we'd like you to look at. And they showed me this pilot, which is fucking genius. And I just come from this Fox show, which started off really good.

The writers were hilarious. Yeah, they were really good writers. They wrote for The Simpsons. They wrote for Married with children. They were excellent. Yeah. But they got fucked over hard.

They brought in this producer and just ruined the show. And all these network executives are getting their fucking spittle laden fingers all over everything.

And that's what's so hard.

That's what's so hard, is that any time you get that many people on anything, any organization, the idea you've got, that's where the luck comes in.

They all those people are going to be cool and not ruin it. It's just something that's waiting to be ruined.

Everything when you get a lot of people together and try to create an art piece. Good luck. Tough. Sometimes it works.

Yeah, but, you know, that's like why the great directors, you know, like Soderbergh's in the Nolan's is James Cameron's. They end up working with a lot of the same people all the time. Adam Sandler does that as well.

Yeah, because you can you have some control over the universe.

Well, you also know how each other works and you all have a common goal. You've done it before, so you know how to do it right.

Or you have these people that are these super powerful figures like Cameron, who just takes control of everything I've heard, like James Cameron will grab a paintbrush, give me that fucking thing. You don't know what you're doing and like, paint the wall because it's just like he's got a vision.

And if they let him do it, you get Avatar, right.

Right. Otherwise, you get fucking a bunch of other people and then you get like one of the more recent Star Wars movies right now, you get a bunch of people trying to add this and that and yeah, use a formula and but yeah, you get dog shit, you get dog shit.

And that was the guy went back to the Geraldo thing. When I saw that guy, I knew he was one of those guys. It was just like and then it just ended up like, oh, it's not great.

Well, after I did Newsradio, I did have a development deal to do another show. I think I might have had two different development deals. I had one and another one afterwards, but I was like really soured because news radio was so good.

And the directors and the producers and the actors and everyone, the writers were so fucking good, scripts were really good.

I would read this other stuff and I've been like, this is horrible. Yeah, I can't do it.

And also the risk of the crew that we had were hard partiers that were really fun.

People like me and Foley and more and some of the other folks on the show, we would get hammered.

I mean, when after the show, after show film, we'd go to like local bars, we'd walk to a local bar or we drink on the set, we will get blasted like they were partiers. Yeah, especially Foley.

He loved to drink. And it was it was like there was a camaraderie to that. And we always felt like we were outcasts. We never made it, you know, yeah, that show didn't become famous really until after it was canceled.

Yeah, I remember thinking about writing and getting some news radio scripts for my agent. They were so funny.

They're brilliant somehow. Legitimate genius. They were tight.

Yeah, but what a cool thing to be in that kind of environment, because a lot of times you end up like playing like a dad or something.

And it's like you had like your brothers, your comedic brothers around you, like that's like a pirate ship.

It was like punk rock a little bit like.

Yeah, like we were doing the show, but we knew that we were the underdogs and never had a good time slot. We only had a good time slot once. They put us on like after friends once. And we were like, No. Three, like, holy shit, we realized that's what it takes. You have to be on after a really good show.

How long is it on? We were on for five years, but the last year was the year that after Phil was murdered. So last year it was with Jon Lovitz. He took over the Hartman spot and he was a really good friend of Phil's. And, you know, he had done an episode before. And so he would probably be the only guy that we would have embraced to do that, because it was just like he sort of fit that guy the toughest.

He's so funny. And that was a funny cat.

That was the only year that we thought that it was going to come back like every year we thought was going to be canceled, like first year. This is not going to make it a ratings suck. And we made it back. And then the fifth year we were like, oh, doing pretty good. Cancel the weird. They pulled the plug on it.

That's what people decide to cancel and don't decide to cancel unless you're a giant hit, unless you're like, yeah, modern family or something like you really never know, you know. No, you don't know. That's a fucking great show, Modern Family.

Oh, God, I never watched it. It's really good. But my whole family got into it during the lockdown.

Oh, yeah. God, that's a good show. Oh, so great writing. Great. Well written. I know so well.

Good. Yeah. Amazing.

I auditioned for for a role in it and it was kind of OK but it was. Oh it's his name you know the husband.

I'm spacing on his name but it's one of those where like you audition for something and then you watch somebody who got the role and you're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good move. I love Ed O'Neil too. Oh, my great.

I mean to to have that character, to have like, those two great characters like Married with Children and then this I know so good.

Everyone on that is solid and the storylines are so good.

It's so good. It's just such a well-made show. And the fact that it's done that way and that funny with no audience is incredible. I know you know, it's all single camera. That means that there's people that are really funny, that no funny, yeah, right, because you can get in that situation and have somebody who. Yeah, it's funny enough.

That's right. They don't have that level of what they know is funny.

Do you ever watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? No. One of the funny shows on TV. Really amazing. So Tina Fey. Yeah.

Tina Fey show. It's on Netflix.

I forget who the girl is, the redheaded girl. But she the girl plays Kimmy Schmidt and Titus Andromeda's. Oh, yeah.

The gay guy is fucking amazing. He's so good. He's a force.

It's a hilarious show. Yeah. And it's a crazy show. It's about a girl gets kidnapped and brought into a sex cult and locked into a bunker for 15 years. So she gets she gets released and she has no idea how the world works. But she's super innocent, but really positive.

Fucking great.

That's great. It's a really good show, man.

I love those characters. You real? What about Ted LASO? You seeing that one? What's that? That's what's his name, not Jason Sudeikis.

No, no, no.

It's on uh. I think on Apple.

So similar character. One of those Apple only shows.

Yeah. Yeah. Those are weird. Like who's watching those. I don't know. This one seems like it's catching this one seems like. Yeah.

And the same kind of character is just wide eyed and super optimistic. Football coach that comes to England to coach soccer.

That's a good point.

And he's so positive. He's just really just you can't break this guy. And it's just it's almost like a dumb optimism. It's great. He's so good at it.

Everyone on it is just too much good stuff to watch right now. I know. Oh, you know what I did want to talk to you about? Yeah. I watched the social dilemma.

Oh, jeez, dude. You know, that's a must see kids. I heard it's depressing. So because it's so real, really depressing.

Tom Watson, you everything's going to be fine. Wear a mask. I live in communist Russia. Wear a mask. Trust me, Gavin Newsom's penises. Delicious. We're all going to be fine.

We are going to be fine.

You think we exist on this plane and this plane only?

Oh, that's heavy. No, no. Because I've done a lot of drugs. I think there's probably something I've seen. I think there's something I think there's something else out there but just unaccessible right now.

Yeah, but this social dilemma makes me very concerned about the future because all of these technologies and all of these people that have invented all this stuff that now are very unhappy. Yeah, it's really fascinating to see them discussing their own creations and see outsiders who are also technologists who didn't didn't invent these things but are seeing the patterns in these things and understand it from, you know, a really educated perspective.

They're saying this could lead to civil war, like people are getting more and more divided. And it shows in the film how social media has made people far more polarized, far more divided than ever before. The the red and the blue and the mesure.

You know, it's like it's disturbing.

What's the most dangerous part of it and can it be corrected?

Well, there's a lot of dangerous parts about it. But the thought bubbles, the fact that these people get in these these bubbles of thought where everybody around you thinks you're way and everybody who thinks a different way is the enemy.

Yeah, this is a really dangerous part of the reality that we live in today, because it's not what we anticipated. I thought that the Internet and the age of information and all that we're experiencing right now would bring about an understanding in a nuanced perspective. Yeah. In life and always.

So you'd be able to see things from other people's perspectives more more easily because it'd be more readily available and it would be more encouraged for you to seek out all this information.

But a bunch of factors that happened at the same time all have sort of made it worse than ever before. And one of them is Trump. Trump being such a polarizing figure and whether or not, you know, whether or not that's justified and how much of it's justified and how much of it is liberal propaganda and how much of it is Republican propaganda.

When you look at the way people feel about him and the things they equate with him, like they equate white supremacy and, you know, an anti-immigrant mentality and, you know, xenophobia and all these different things, they think and a lack of empathy, which is probably accurate. Right. And if it's anything, if you could say anything about Trump, one of the things you would say that's negative is he seems to not be empathetic.

He doesn't seem to care about other people. Right. The way you would want a leader to care about people like you don't you don't buy it.

Even when people die, like when John McCain died, he's still never had any empathy for the guy. Yeah.

And, you know, it's just yeah, there's so many in there, so it's so easy to look at him.

And even though in his mind, he's got to be a tough guy and if people come at him, he's going to come back at them. But this is like sort of the mentality that someone takes.

If you're battling trolls online, you don't understand like you as the president, you're supposed to you're in this rare position.

You can't be responding to individuals because you're too big.

You represent a different thing. You're not Donald Trump anymore.

You're Donald Trump, who is also the president of the United States. Yes.

And if you don't adjust the way you communicate with people and bring people together and one of the things that Obama did brilliantly was he made you feel like America was something you could be proud of because that guy is representing you, this really articulate, super smooth statesman who seemed elegant and he seemed like composed.

And when he would speak, regardless of his policies, you know, would regardless of the criticism you might have had, is his administration the way he handled the role of president?

Perfect. Perfect. Eight plus eight plus no, no. Eight plus no pettiness, right? No.

I mean, I think he called Kanye a jackass once, but well, might have wanted to be president. He might have fucking made Trump be president. Well, that that White House Correspondents Dinner, we shit on Trump. Yeah. And you see Trump going there.

Yes. I'm one thing you'll never be. Which is President United States.

Oh, everyone's laughing and he's just glaring up at things. Yes. Yeah. No, that was a moment. That psychopath, he took you up on that. Yeah. Challenge.

But you take someone that has lack of empathy and doesn't really see the responsibility of the office and what he says and you combine that with that technology. That's a that's a well, you're asking the.

That's a dangerous combination. You're seeing the results of to change who he is at 73. Right, right. You're 72. Whenever he was when he got in 71, I think you're asking a guy in his 70s to change who he is.

And the thing that made him successful, the reason why he was in all these rap songs like if you go back and listen to rap music in the 80s and 90s, Trump's name was thrown up all the time.

He was that guy. He was the guy with the big gold letters on his fucking building. Yeah.

And fighting with Rosie O'Donnell and. Yes, calling her a pig. All that stuff. All that stuff.

Well, that that was OK back then for some reason, like he would call her terrible names on the Conan O'Brien show or because he was a whatever show, television celebrity.

Letterman. Yeah, but he was famous for being that guy. Right. So that guy became president. And there's always a polarization.

There's always a group of people that hate the president because they didn't vote for him and they want him to fuck up and they want him to fail and they want everything that he's doing to be wrong. But remember when they got mad at Obama for wearing a tan suit?

You remember that? Yeah. It was like the greatest violation of the office. And they made a big deal when he fist bumped his wife. Like, why do you feel outrage? Why do you fucking care about this?

You know, it's got a nice suit on this guy look good in that suit. But it's but so so there's no right.

There's Trump as a figurehead which accelerates everything. He's he's gasoline on an already raging wildfire.

He loves keeping the temperature at maximum. He wants everything at a hot boil.

And if you really feel it, you know that that that's the thing of that office. He could calm this situation down. He could make you all relax.

He knows how to do it. He's even exists. He's like the only one who's comfortable like you ever you ever go out with a girl who loves to fight?

Yeah.

She's only comfortable because that's the way she was raised. And they get mad if you don't want to fight back. Yes, that's him. That's him. He wants to fight. He'll bring shit up until you take the bait. And then there's a fight on and then they come down and you're having a nervous breakdown.

So it's not all his fault, though. There's social media and the divide that comes. And this is where the social dilemma comes in place. Yeah, there's a divide that comes about because of the way they've engineered these algorithms, which is really disturbing. So whatever you're into, it finds those things and accentuates them because he just wants you to stay on more.

He wants you to engage more. She wants you to pay attention to the things.

Now, Hari Shiftier did a little bit of a study on this, a little bit of a test, and he only YouTube Puppis.

That's all he would YouTube, just YouTube Puppis just just to see what happened and all YouTube would send him.

Yeah. Is Puppis right. All they would all they would show him, all they would suggest is puppets.

Yeah.

So this idea that they're engineering outrage is a little disingenuous because what they're really doing is finding what you're interested in and people have been shown to pay attention to what they disagree with far more than what they agree with.

So the algorithm spits. You think you disagree with. Exactly.

Because you get engaged with that and you get angry, which is that was a part of the rage. It was showing how things that people disagree with things that make people upset. Right. Those are the things that people are much more likely to engage with, like fuck you fucking liberals or fuck you, you fucking racist.

Someone's racist, right?

Know, it's like it's this thing that is a part of being a person where you see especially when you don't feel like you're really you're being heard right.

When you're at home and you're sitting on the toilet and you're going through Facebook and you see some shit about fucking burn the flag, you motherfuckers. And you start you start making these messages, you're more likely to do that than seeing some beautiful story about these parents that adopt this kid. And they give him a home and he comes from a bad part of the world like that.

You're not going to go away to go for you. Let me write down all the amazing things about what you're doing. Is that terrible? Yeah, you're going to you're going to get mad. Or if you're on the left, you're going to get mad because the wildfires are going to blame on Trump and climate change. Right.

All these different things. And, yeah, you know, like, look, gets your outrage going. Yeah.

I mean, so many people think Trump's responsible for the wildfires.

Listen, folks, those fucking fires were going to happen regardless of who is president now, whether or not he is putting in policies, it's going to protect people ten, twenty years from now. Right.

That's a real argument. That's. Yeah, but the fucking fires that are going on right now are not because of Trump. It takes a long time to turn that battleship. Absolutely.

I mean, it's not his fault. And I'm not saying he's done good things for the environment. And that's what I'm saying.

He's not plotting a future that you think will help out these fires in the future. Right.

You do have to take into consideration. Well, and here's the thing. Everybody's applauding Newsom for saying that they're going to eliminate these. Gasoline powered cars by 2035, finally, you can't, but here's the thing, because you and I both have Tesla. But here's the thing.

Those batteries don't come free. You have to get lithium out of the ground.

I mean, they're fucking literally staging military coups. There was a story about there's this is there was a thing there was a controversy because Elon Musk made a tweet.

And I think the tweet was something will cool whoever we want to or some crazy guy was really responding to someone. He was saying that I think he was just like being joking around it.

Yeah, yeah.

But people are saying, here it is, we will coup whoever we want. Elon Musk in the overthrow of democracy in Bolivia. He probably should set out and launch.

Is that I mean, he's probably joking around, but the idea is that lithium, which is a primary component of batteries, batteries, you're going to need a massive amount of that shit. Right. And that shit is called conflict minerals.

Conflict minerals. One of the reasons why they call them that is because these fucking minerals are in the Congo. They're they're in Afghanistan. They're in all these places that are you know, it's it's there's a lot of people vying for them. Like China's trying to get into the conflict diamonds.

Yeah, it's well, it's a little sketchier than diamonds. A whole lot more of it. Right.

And you need it to get better. It's not like it's a free ride to get batteries.

Yeah, but, you know, so you lose democracy in Bolivia, at least there's no more fires. These the air's better. I don't think it works. Everything's a little evil. They work that way.

They've got to figure out how to suck carbon on the air. They have figured that out.

There's there's like small scale versions of these things that look like it looks like an air cleaner. That's the size of a skyscraper. Oh, yeah. And they've talked about implementing these things to actually extract carbon from the atmosphere.

What about that soil documentary?

Do you see that one where they it's all about that and terrifying.

Like sucking like if you if you heal the soil, you'll heal the earth.

Well, regenerative farming is the best way to heal the soil. There are some people that are experts on regenerative farming and regenerative farming is essentially what they're doing is farming the way they farmed thousands of years ago or hundreds of years ago, the way you're supposed to like.

Right.

Ruminants, animals eat grass, they shit the manure actually brings these these these nutrients back into the earth. And that acts as fertilizer for new plants to grow. You rotate the crown. It's supposed to have a carbon neutral effect when it's done correctly.

The problem is we've adapted to this world where you want to pull in a jack in the box, get a cheeseburger in five seconds. Yeah.

And that's got to be cheap meat and cheap meat comes from factory farming and factory farming is universally regarded as fucking disgusting. Horrible.

So that way you've got trucks and you've got all these fucking animals in there eating terrible food and it's all gross. Yeah, like from top to bottom.

It's horrible. Horrible. And there's it's a new documentary on Netflix, so I forget the name of it. What do you kiss the ground, kiss the ground really good, because it's kind of one of those that actually gives you some hope.

You're like, wow, this isn't that complex of a solution that could actually what is their solution?

What are they trying to do? They're trying to get janitor. Farmer. Yeah.

The thing about regenerative farming, though, it's I don't know if it will work at scale like we had Joel Salatin on a few. Well, we've had him on twice, but we had him on a few months back. And there's a guy who doesn't give a fuck about coronavirus, by the way. Oh, really?

Older fellow farmer health is just healthy as an ox drinks out of the trough where the cows drink because he says he gets that biome into his his gut. He wants that. He wants all the bacteria real. Yeah. It doesn't wash his hands. He doesn't get sick.

That's why I feel comedians have kind of been strong because traveling or in front of all these people, you're holding mikes that are like grubby comedians are all that's the argument about prisoners, you know.

Yeah. Most prisoners are asymptomatic from coronavirus, which is fascinating. Yeah. Yeah.

Because they're just surrounded by germs.

In your time, you would think they're so stressed out like here they are in fucking jail is about as stressful as life gets good. But everyone's coughing everybody's mouth and they're fine.

Look, but yeah, I know your immune system, you know, it gets ramped up and it goes to work. By the way, what's going on with Harvey Weinstein? He's fat and old and he got coronavirus when he was in jail. He. Yeah, nobody heard a peep out of. Yeah. Because he's probably he's probably in a house in the Hamptons. Never heard about that guy.

You don't hear about him at all anymore.

Oh, he's the one that started it all. There is a rapper who just got sent back to jail for social distancing violation. How about that. Sent back to jail. Sent back to jail.

Yeah, he he shot at Chief Keef. You know, that can't be shooting him. That's what I say.

He shot at them. No, he didn't shoot him, but they sent him to jail. Then they released him because. The coronavirus and they got pictures of him at a party, have a good old time and they're like, oh, he's social distance violating, so they put him back in jail.

I mean, imagine that I didn't know you can go back to jail for violating social distancing rules.

Well, this seems like a special case, but perhaps I know where you get out of jail for shooting at somebody because you might get a cold. Yeah, I mean, he's a young guy to probably shake it off like that. Exactly.

Just play by the rules. Just turn it down a notch. That was his lawyer. I'd be like deicide.

Listen, I know you like Partyin, but do you have a mask? Yeah, no. Wear a mask when you party like a Halloween mask.

Yeah, they're saying that. Yeah, right. Exactly. It's put on a big thing is. Yeah. Yeah. This is the dude Takeshi's six nine x associate Kouda B.. I like that name.

Headed back to prison for party stunt. Well they're calling it party stunt. They're calling it social distance violation.

What would you have even been sentenced yet? Apparently so.

He might have got out early while he was being held, caught on tape, partying with a large group of people in a Brooklyn apartment. Soon after his aper release, Manhattan federal judge called the decision to have a party after receiving social shel's social distancing orders an astonishing stunt. And he ordered Kouda Khuda to surrender to U.S. Marshals no later than two p.m. October 15th.

So he's got some days to party. So it's only the 6th. Homeboy's got nine days to fucking have a good old time.

Maybe we need face tattoos. Why all the cool kids got him?

No, we're too old, dude. Are we going to face tattoo and you're our age. People frown upon that, do they? Yeah, they think you're suicidal. You're losing your mind.

Maybe you get a nice little star in your cheek a little. Just a little tiny one. Yeah. Yeah. Why not. Like the NBC thing, maybe, you know what have you got your lips done.

Like just real subtle. Like you came. Your lips are darker.

I like what's going on. Your ribs.

Tell what. I don't know. They were always this way. You like all of a sudden your lips are dark if you call it.

He was in jail for, by the way, shot at Chief Keef.

He paid someone to. Oh, he went. According to Mackenzie's confession, Takashi's six nine paid that guy right to shoot at Chief Keef, supposedly an attempt to scare the rival rather than seriously injure him.

Instead, Kouda opted to outsource the shooting to someone else, but still pled guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon in aid of racketeering, which is a maximum prison sentence of twenty years.

He's only twenty two years old, but likely spend the next couple of decades behind bars. Always so kind of gang. Are they gang related?

He was. He has not yet been sentenced, so he was being held with a bunch of other people who were like backed up in the court system. Oh, so they let him out just like on bail.

On bail. So, like, they're like, well, now you're not out on bail, so I'll violate it. He's going to jail for a long time. I hope he got another face tattoo before he went in. He should have got a raft and gone to Cuba.

Good to escape. Like if you had to go on the run, OK, you get busted for something. Maybe you didn't do it, but the fuzz is coming for you.

Would it be possible to escape the law for the rest of your life nowadays?

I was talking to a man who knows things and he was telling me that there is technology that they are working on that's going to let them hear fully clear, completely crystal clear conversations from satellites.

Uh huh. You mean person to person? I mean you in your house having conversation with your wife. They're going to be able to hear you from a satellite. They just tune into your house.

They're going to be so bored. I'm sure they will be. But not attitude. Chief KeIso, they had to find some crazy shit going on.

But these really likes.

Yes, I don't think they're like with GPS, they could pinpoint a house. Yeah. And listen to that conversation.

No one's hiding. That's my point. Right. Like they're closing in on everything. And you're going to get to the point where there's not going to be there's no hiding. It's like that Tom Cruise movie Minority Report.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Like when I saw that movie, it was like, oh yeah, this is all definitely coming like. Right. They were trading eyeballs because that was like a future crime.

Right. They right. Right. Something for you did something. Yeah.

Well if you really believe in determinism, you know, you if you could get a computer, you can devise a computer that's so powerful that it could accurately anticipate individual events criss crossing and compiling together to create a specific result. And you knew they would force someone's hand to do something. Mm hmm.

I mean, it's not completely outside of the realm of possibility that one day at least, they could figure like they could figure out a likelihood of things happening, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And then where are you going to run, Bolivia isn't going anywhere. Come on, you go to the ocean just walking into the ocean until you stop breathing. I want to go to jail, like, what was it when when you rat on the Mafia, you got to go into a house in Arizona? They did that for a while. Was it relocation or. Yeah, witness relocation. Witness protection. Yeah. Witness protection.

Right. We had that worked. Right. We showed Sammy The Bull Gravano did that.

He's got a podcast now.

He's I don't think you're supposed to do that. Yeah. He's third next to Hillary Clinton. She's to Michelle Obama's number one.

Number one, what can we do? The ratings should be on a podcast. No witness protection, you would think. But yeah, Takashi's six nine, just like I'm coming out. He ratted on people.

Yeah, but what is he doing? Is he in witness protection at all? Nope.

No, New York making music videos, passing like he literally on the street corner, passing out a CDs with I guess he just said, how come nobody tells us?

I'll give him that. But he's had to move his spot. He said he said house is where he got ratted on shore, of course, going to rat on him. He's a rat. You're a rat. I don't know how popular.

Yeah, but how long before he runs out of money? It costs a lot of money to have that kind of security.

Keep making it hum.

Yeah. Keep coming up with some new beats. Yeah.

If you to get a face tattoo, what kind of tattoo would you get if I was to get a face tattoo I would get, I don't know, a little booger right underneath my nose because maybe a tattoo tear scare everybody off.

Pretend you kill people.

Think I killed them. Gang members would be like, no you didn't. And they'd come get me. That's true. Good call. You don't want troubles. Made me cause trouble.

Yeah, it was Tolstoyan stanage. I like the start right here in the upper cheekbone area.

So little tiny star. What did pop up to answer questions to convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein to face new sex crimes charges.

Oh boy.

11 counts. And California, this is Splendens. Counts of sexual assault in the state of California where extradition proceedings have been put on hold due the pandemic.

Eleven count, three more counts, I guess, got added three more counts of rape and other sexual crimes involving two women.

He's already serving 23 years and he's got to put a suit on and go defend himself more.

Do you think if you have the gun in his cell, he would just blow his brains out? Yes, because he doesn't think he's getting out at this point. These charges keep piling up. God, is he in jail, jail or. He's in Rikers, bro. He's in Rikers. Yeah. Yeah.

He got covid when he was in jail and they didn't send him home. Fuck him.

Get healthy. No, he's not at Rikers, but he is in jail somewhere. Wasn't he in Rikers, though, at one point, maybe before he got sent to the Wendys Correctional Facility, Max.

Security guard in New York near Buffalo.

Man. Oh, man. Yeah. And Cosby's in jail. Yeah, but you remind yourself of that things are going about through your day. Bill Cosby.

Yeah. That's such a he's only in jail for a short amount of time, is he. Yeah. Which is interesting. He's only in jail for I believe he's in jail for one of those things that he did. Uh I believe. For a short amount of time, I don't think he's in jail for very long, I think he's in jail for like 10 years or something. So what it is says three to 10 in state prison, three to 10, so he could get out on parole and still be alive.

But he's he's almost blind to next year would be all he was next year, September twenty four. Twenty eighteen. Still won't admit he did anything can hold strong. Yeah. Yeah, he seems insane. Yeah. He seems completely insane.

Like he was out at a barbershop before he went. They put him in and I don't know if he was on parole or on appeal or not on parole. On bail or on appeal. But he was at a barbershop like with these guys and they made a video of it.

It's so strange because acting as if nothing had happened. Bill Cosby interviewed. He expects to serve a full 10 year sentence rather than say sorry. Why she's so he's just at the barbershop, like acting like he wasn't going he was holding court, that's why he was caught at a barbershop. And these guys and they were talking about like bands like what guy was in what band and and they were talking trivia and shit.

He's probably doing the same thing in jail. I wonder. I bet. I bet he's. But he's got a lot of fans in jail. I wonder how he's treated there, you know? Yeah, I'm sure he is. That's him at the barbershop play some of that.

Give me some volume of the original.

OK, so days he's got that sweater on that says, hello, friend, and he's talking jazz. Yeah. Yes. It's kind of cool. That's Alonzo Broughton's older brother. No, come on. Tell me. That guy was Louis Alonzo Bowden's older brother.

Hey, have you any money on you to invest in denim? You're talking shit.

Let's hear it for one job that's old and caught talking about jazz Skrull who made this this post.

As Bill Cosby himself, Bill Cosby hangs out de Marco's hair artistry, and they have to put in quotes, barbershop brackets in yesterday with friends. January 21st. Twenty eighteen. Look at this.

Hashtags go Eagles Philadelphia.

Oh, that's crazy.

That's weird. Wow. God, what a weird story, man.

Oh, man. So he thinks that it was just. He was just with some ladies. It's his in his head, right? When I was on Newsradio, we heard about him. Yeah, we had heard about him drugging people. You did? Yeah.

It was a rumor. It was always a rumor. It was always a thing that people had heard. They knew someone who knew someone. They knew something was always out there.

So when Hannibal Burress was on stage and he was talking about that, that was not something that was unknown.

No. I mean, he said in the set. Right. Just Google it. Yeah.

And then that's what starts at all, which is just bananas. One set that someone films and their phone gets up on YouTube.

And I was like, wait, what? And everybody outside the industry.

Woke up goes Causby, Cosby, Bill Cosby, like The Cosby Show, like our dad, right, like the jello pudding guy, that guy, the adorable guy.

I wish you could read a person's 14. Yeah. What happened with Hannibal.

Well, I wish you could read a person's mind. Yeah, I really want. I really want to know. I want to know.

Sounds like those satellites are going to do it. We're going to hear you hear the words. Yeah. But I think I don't think we're too many decades away from being able to actually read your mind.

You think someone was convicted of a crime in India back in the day? We covered this when I did that. Joe Rogan questions everything show because of fMRI, fMRI, functional magnetic imagery. And I think that's right terms. But basically it's it's reading the mind in reading like patterns. And they decided that this person, I think, might have been a woman was convicted of a crime because they had functional knowledge of the crime scene.

Now, this is this was in another country, I believe it was in India.

And I talked to neuroscientists in America and they said you would never accept this in America because functional knowledge of a crime scene could be obtained by just examining evidence, like if you were charged, if someone charge you with murder, said Tom, I know you killed that guy. And like what? And then they show you the photos. Like you would have access to the information. Yeah. If you have that in your head, like thinking, oh, my God, someone killed this person and now they're blaming on me.

How could they think I did it? And you could possibly have functional knowledge of where it happened and what happened just based on someone describing to you what you've been charged.

How do you find out if someone has functional and I don't really know this like it. You know, in Italy, people were charged that were seismologists because they didn't warn people in time for an earthquake that took place.

Right.

Yeah, because they're Italians and, hey, I don't know, they don't know about it, so they charge people now in America, you could never charge a seismo believe this, right?

See if that's true, if that was in Italy.

I'm asking you in the last year, like so may or may not be real.

It seems like so so like early like other century. Like she's a witch.

Yes, she does. That's why she's a witch.

Actual, you know, seismologists and scientists all over the world were aghast because like a mobile bubble, you can't fucking charge people with not warning you about something that's utterly unpredictable.

Italian seismologists cleared of manslaughter charge.

They came to their senses. Six scientists did not cause deaths in 2009. But what's crazy is that that actually went to court. So these poor guys who defend themselves in court that they should have known that this earthquake was coming.

This is hell, Donald, isn't it? That's very old. I mean, forget it. Look at after the earthquake that so much like that guy, how much I pay him. Who's the guy with the Geiger counter? What is a good guy?

How come you don't know? We're both Italian.

We can get away with talking like he should have told me. But, you know, I look like a famous Italian film star. Who? Carlo Verdana.

How much dealer could you go out there? And I got into a taxi cab in Rome and this kid fell out.

It's like twenty two year old kid was just like, oh, he's is in my cab fare, donees in my cab. And he called his family. Oh my God. He made me get on the phone with them. Oh my God.

That's pretty close. Right. What do you think.

I think it's insulting. You should be mad. That guy looks like he's ten years older than you and he's going to die tomorrow.

Well, he is older, but he's like he's always one of the good of you to make that make that face.

You know, he's doing well.

What's in the bowl?

Because that was funny, cause that's pretty close to give me a smile with your lips closed.

Wow.

It's a close. Very, very.

This kid lost his mind. He's like they don't seem like it took me the whole ride to convince him I was someone didn't have a phone on or they couldn't Google the actual Freedonia.

You can probably pull it off.

Right. Right. I bet. You go find them. I like that one with the pointing at you, the glasses, like he's a badass. Yeah, that's me and my side.

You, bro go over there, Dulaine. It's kind of a guy.

That's you, bro. I wish I spoke Italian. We learn it's not that hard. I want to breathe underwater. Crazy. Fuck.

You need to get a nap. I wish I wish I could do something that I don't do right now that other people do easily.

I just don't know and I don't think my brain can handle it. Do you think you can learn a whole language right now? Yes, I could. No way.

But of course I could. I don't want to.

But of course. You're living your life here, not going over to Italy.

And yes, you could just require a lot of time. The real reason for you to do it right.

Look, if I had a wife and she was Italian, she was talking to a lot of shit. You know, I was just the way you said it, though, you don't need to learn the whole language like we don't know the whole English language, you know a good portion of it and how to talk it with it.

But we don't know, almost words talk with it, apparently.

Apparently, Russian is a really hard one to learn. I took that in freshman year in college. It's not as hard as you think, but what about the writing it now?

They just have a little a couple of blocky letters. But that's for Daniel Strauss. Beauty it. Yeah, it's not as complicated. Yeah. There's something about it that's they say that English is much harder than no Russian.

Yeah. I like learning it the other way is really.

That's interesting. So Russians have a hard time learning English. English can learn Russian.

Right. Right. Mm.

I only took a first semester and the guy let you take the test as many times as you needed to pass. But really it wasn't that mind blowing.

Yeah. Really. I would think just the language itself, the written language be really hard. It's really cool. It's fucking cool looking. Yeah it is really cool. My daughter's studying Italian in college. Yeah.

And it's like every day you have to take it five days a week.

It's pretty. So that's how you learn it. Yeah. That's the move.

Right. If you go to an immersion school and you have to teach. So they teach every class in the language and they don't speak any English to.

Yeah, yeah. Or go live in Rome.

Silvertone kids went to a Spanish immersion school.

Oh yeah. Yeah. And they learned it. Yeah. You just learn, you know, you speak Spanish, you do it all the time.

Yeah. It's that thing that's so funny.

I wish I could learn something that other people know like it is lazy but well listen if you could do it but a lot of stuff going on.

It would require many hours a day, many days in a row, probably four years before you got adept at it. Yeah. And you it could be done.

But how long until I was like could get by on a trip?

Oh, no, I can't I can't speak another language. I have no idea.

There was a Rosetta Stone commercials. They promised to get like fairly good at it and like ninety days or something. Yeah.

I think you have to put a lot of time into it. Yeah, I think you better. Anything else being retired.

Isn't there the thing with the brain like that, if you learn it when you're like fourteen it's much easier than when you're fifty.

I think it's younger, I think it's really young when you're really young kids. I mean you think about how quick kids speak English. Yeah, right. Like my daughter, one of my daughters was speaking really young.

She was at one years old.

She's speaking in full sentences. It was really weird. Like she's really smart. Yeah. But one years old, she would ask me questions. Daddy, what is this and why is that?

And this little girl. Right, there is one one.

Imagine you speaking full Italian in one year.

Yeah, that would be crazy. That would be crazy, man. That would be fun though. Yeah. I just want to be able to handle myself in a restaurant. Yeah. Like really well be able to talk about the wine.

Well Google has these earbuds that will translate, they will translate languages in real time. Oh yeah. Yeah. So with this Google app you can, someone can talk to you as long as they speak clearly loud, clear enough for it to transcribe, they will be able to say it back to you in real time. Yeah.

Will be able to. Or you can. Oh can. I'm pretty sure it's the pixel pixel buds. Pixel earbuds. See if that's that's pretty cool.

That's true. Yeah. That's really, you know it's interesting. Right.

Did there's arguments for both Android and Apple and one of the arguments for Apple or one of the arguments for Android, rather serious, right, is how to mud and say help me speak Spanish to launch conversation mode on the translate app.

When you're ready to speak to someone in another language, press and hold the earbud and speak in your native language.

Good afternoon. What are the menu specials today? What is that this is one of those S.P.C.A. that many of the phone takes it over for phone under the language I translated when they're ready to respond. When the person responds, the translated message will play directly into your pixel buds. To learn more, visit the Google pixel, both work and that's he talks and it's enough to make a drug transaction.

I can't even get into marijuana, cocaine, I am OK.

And there is not one time when I transcribe just in my English to my text where it nails it.

Well, Google is better. Yeah, they're much better at it. Yeah. And I use my Apple, I have an Apple phone and I have an Android phone.

Oh my Apple phones, my primary phone and I use my Android phone more to fuck around with anything, but I'm fucking around with a few things on it. And one of the things is how well it picks up your voice and how well it transcribes it. So here's the argument, right. Apple is much better with your privacy. They're much better with your privacy. Like when you use Apple Maps, it's not sending your data to anyone, but it's one of the reasons why Apple Maps is not as good as Google Maps are better sharing it.

It's just better. They just it's they're getting data constantly from you. They're getting data from all the other drivers. They're sharing that data. They're compiling that data. And they're also sending ads your way to profit off of this to make it profitable.

So because of that, because Google is just sucking up data constantly, they can provide you with better services.

So they have an amazing search engine. They have. But that was one of the things about the social dilemma. The search engine gives different results based on where you are like, say, if you type to use an example, climate change. You're right.

Climate change is it might say a hoax or climate change is a terrible threat, depending on where you live, like you, just where you are living.

Right. It might give you one thing, but if you live in Waco, Texas, it might give you another. Yeah.

And it's based on what it thinks you want to see. That's crazy.

It's not good. That's not good. Yeah. That's why reinforcing people's dumb ideas.

It's why I use duck, duck, go duck duck. Go does not do any of that stuff. You know, it also it gives you things, it's, it doesn't send your data somewhere and you protect your privacy.

So you put climate change is on duck. Duck. No I put chicks with dicks.

Well no, no, no, no. I got a burner phone duck.

You put whatever you want. It just. Yeah, the results are not curated. Right. So it's just giving you the most applicable results for the things that you're looking for. But it's not doing it in a way where it's curating it for your own interests. Like if you try to find things that are controversial and we've tried to find that on the podcast before, where Jamie will Google something and I'll know it to be correct. But Google will not show that it's correct because maybe the correct answer is not politically correct.

So you have to go through several pages and maybe you even have to Google it in a very specific way to get to the heart of the science behind what's wrong with the consensus opinion.

The consensus opinion might be wrong. That's the case with a lot of nutrition things. It's the case with a lot of a lot of things regarding like anything controversial, anything where you where there's a political motive to sway the argument one way or the other.

It's so amazing how deep you have to dive to cross-reference stuff to really try and assemble a truthful opinion. It's so hard.

So with all this stuff, like, do you do the and you have all these people from Twitter and Google and stuff who are saying, like what we did or Facebook, it was horrible.

And yeah, we really kind of f things up. Do they feel like they can also correct this problem?

I don't know if you can put the the cap on the bottle. Right.

I don't know genie back in. I don't know if you can do that.

I don't know if they know it either because they didn't think it was going to happen in the first. I mean, they know Jack Dorsey was testifying, I think it was before Congress. And he was saying that twelve years ago when we created Twitter, we had no idea that this was going to be a situation that we had to anticipate. We know no one ever saw this coming. And if you go back and see the early Twitter when you would remember, you would do that.

It would always show your name in front of every tweet. Yes. Like at Tom, papà is having pizza, like, say what you were doing. It was really weird, like how people would use Twitter. Yeah.

You know, and but it was like not political. It was just fun. Yeah. People are just like no one knew what to do with it. And then somewhere along the line people started figuring out how to get in arguments.

I know it's so bad. We just always ruin everything. It could be so great. I remember when it first came out, it was like, wow, there would probably never have been slavery if there had been Twitter because people would have exposed it so early and just seemed so hopeful.

But of course, all the scummy people get it and then just ruin it. It makes me scummy too, because it makes people more polarized. It makes me.

More aggressive in reinforcing their idea, what the truth is, and trying to stop other people and you're seeing so much suppression of other people's opinions and expression today, which is so strange.

Yeah, it's just it's one of the weirdest times ever to to look at the way human beings communicate. Yeah, because of the tension. We were talking about this earlier. We never really finish the thought.

But yet, Trump then you get the pandemic of the economic collapse.

You have all these things happening. So people are they're desperate, they're sad. And then you've got looting and you've got the riots. And you see you get racial tension, you've got violence. You've got this anti police sentiment, which also leads to more instability in the streets. You see more instability in the cities and less safety and fear, fear, anxiety, fear of fear of police, fear of gangs, fear, fear of antifa, fear of white supremacist, fear of everything is like all this fucking fear.

Yeah. And and the black people arguing online. Yeah.

Really literally addicted people. People were addicts. Right.

They're just as addicted as people were gambling addicts, just as addicted to people that are sex addicts. They're addicted to Twitter. Yeah. And there are they're mentally ill people and they're constantly engaging in conflict. Right.

And they're coming up on people's posts. And you don't know that you're interacting with mentally ill people. Yeah.

Or or people from other countries that are trying to incite it.

Assume you're acting with mentally unwell people because almost everyone who's using it in that way, is it in one way or another mentally ill?

Or you put your phone in the drawer and you go to the park and all of a sudden you get shot down and then there's no cops because you want to defund the police.

Everything comes down and goes away. Well, it's because you're not in you're not living in this weird reality. You're just living in real life and you're not participating in all of that.

That's what we'd all hope for. The problem is there's so many people that are doing it. Yeah, well, they're doing it on Facebook or Twitter or arguing whatever things they're arguing about. It's spilling out into the real world.

Right. You're in the park being all Zen and all of a sudden a flash mob shows up and organized on Twitter and you're like, what the hell is happening here?

I was just all a minute ago. So one thing that I wanted to bring up, we talked about before the podcast that I actually read a whole article about we were talking about on the podcast whether or not Chris Cuomo was really lifting a 100 pound barbell.

Now, I had completely forgot. We even talked about this until I stumbled upon an article online about it. And in the article, it actually referenced us talking about it on the podcast. Right.

And he wasn't they think I'm quite stupid for believing that Chris Cuomo really had this 100 pound barbell or dumbbell that he was lifting.

And it looked very like it did look very low. But so my thought was, how big is Chris Cuomo? So that's a good point. I thought he was bigger than he is.

So I Googled it. Yeah, he's only one hundred and eighty two pounds, which says he's six to one hundred eighty two pounds. I don't know if that's accurate. That's yeah. That's probably six to one eighty. Well he doesn't beat that lean thin guy.

He doesn't look that. But anyway I guess that makes him twenty pounds lighter than me.

OK, so very unlikely that he's carrying that dumbbell like that. So then I'm like, OK, I got to ask some people who would actually know. So I sought out some people online and one of them was Rob Cairney. He's been on the podcast before. He's world's strongest gay.

Oh, yeah, I know that guy. He's OK. Follow him.

Love the dude. And I think he won recently a pound for pound strong man title.

I believe he's not a big guy. He's he's a tank, but he's only about five, ten maybe.

But fucking gorilla strong. Yeah.

So so he says to me, so I say to him, have you ever seen the thing? And he says, I just watched the video. I think it's fake loel. He doesn't look to be bracing hard enough for it to be actually 100 pounds.

Good point. He is kind of wishy washy and his see he's he's a real expert.

Right. So he's an actual strong man, so I'm pretty convinced. So then I asked Robert Oberst, who's an all also. Robert is fucking enormous. Absolutely. One of the strongest men in the world.

He's a Goliath sitting next to him, three plus pounds. So he says the picture looks possible because his elbows up and stable. But the video where he's at his desk showing the weight off, he moves it around out at an angle that would be the smallest head of the top of the bicep, taking all the weight and it doesn't even faze him.

Said if it's. Real, he's stronger than anyone I've ever seen, use a dumbbell. Oh, I'd say it's a 40 pound weight with a 100 pounds written on it. He said lots of insta famous lifters have fake dumbbells and plates.

I have two interesting Kirani and Robert Oberst, both of them call bullshit. So I refer to defer to them when it does when he's sitting in the chair at the desk there.

It looks very light when I say he's 180 pounds.

And that might not be true because I bet if you Google what my weight is, they probably don't know what my weight is either.

100 pounds is a lot, but one hundred eighty two pounds for a man who's six foot two is not a gorilla like Brennan's job, OK? Brennan Shah was doing that. I'd go. I bet he could do that.

Brennan Shah describes 270 pounds, 260 plus pounds. Yeah, he's huge.

He's huge. Yeah. But even then, like you seems like it seems like life. Yeah. Yeah.

I obviously didn't look at it close enough. You know, I also I don't, I'm not a lifter in that sense.

Like I don't write, I don't lift heavy weights. Like the heaviest shit I ever lift is like I might squat a couple of hundred pounds for reps, but most of the shit I do is kettle bells. Right. So I'm doing like the heaviest ones I do are like 90 pounds or maybe and that's rare. Usually I use like a seventy pound kettlebell, fifty pound kettlebell depending upon the exercise. They're not heavy. Right. I'm doing like functional movements that use your full body.

Right. So I'm not in that lifting world. But if you wanted to talk to like you'd have to talk to the like Fletcher, you'd have to talk to those power lifter do to really understand.

Those are the ones it's so it's a little uncomfortable that I'm sitting right in front of you and I'm not in the list of people that you're asking, because on my peloton there are three and a half pound weights that sit on the back of the seat. And once in a while you have to take those out and curl them sometimes two in one hand, mind you.

And it is quite a workout.

OK, so he's two hundred pounds. He says he went from two hundred eighteen pounds to a pretty lean 200 pounds. He cut out so he cut out a bullshit cut dairy and bad sugar 2014 cut back booze. So he's two hundred pounds.

His body fat plummeted to twelve percent.

OK, so he's dialed in on his stuff though. Right. But he's, he's taller than me and he's, he's my weight.

That's not, there's no way he's handling that weight like that. I can't handle that weight like that.

Can we see the video. I'm fucking Jaxon. Oh man. I wish I didn't have my jacket on. I would be showing up.

So what's up? Roy Jones Junior flexed his arm in that chair. He has two of mine.

Does he really on his left? It's crazy. His left arm is so much bigger than his right because he's got like probably one of the best left hooks, not probably one of the best left hooks a human being's ever thrown. Oh, my. Good. So his left bicep is gigantic.

So much bigger than his right. He's joking around about it.

But when he flex you like Jesus. Yeah. It looks just like alien head in there. Yeah. See, there it is. He does have shoulders. Yeah, well, that move when he does that, well, that's not that's kind of braced. That's 100 pounds. That's so heavy, 100 pounds.

David, this is this is where I'm less go back to when he's doing the little hammer curls. This is where I'm less likely to believe this one right here.

When he's doing that, he's not even straining. There's no rain at all in his back. Yeah, everything looks to light.

Yeah. It just doesn't look. Yeah.

Again, I don't know. Shit is not my world. I can show you a video of a guy like Bradley Martin.

I do love you. Two hundred twenty pound dumbbells.

Oh, go. Right, right. Right. Thing. And Bradley, he's a guy who is Bradley Martin.

Show Bradley Martin. Let me see. Bradley Martin takes girls. He puts like weights on bars and then has girls hang on the bars and fucking presses them. He's enormous.

He's a YouTube famous lifter. Right. But all completely do this. He's cleaning and pressing a girl.

But but the dude is like she's like six three.

Six four. Yeah, I used to 70.

Oh, my. Enormous he's a huge man. He's he's a huge, legitimately huge man. Yeah.

So he's struggling. There's a video of him on there with a hundred pound dumbbells. Well I get my people do that in that bar that when he's, when he's doing deadlifts. Oh big size this motherfucker.

So much weight on the bar.

But you look at him and you go, OK, oh that's it's real as fuck as people always say, it's fake the bar.

This guy doesn't have to fake anything. There's no faking going on. Right. That's a look at the way that way is moving. When you see the size of him too, he's it all makes sense.

But his tricep doesn't wiggle when he points at something like that. It's nice.

I get asked like everyone is, you know, you wonder about stuff like that. You look at him doing that look, is that real?

And then you ask experts and the experts are like, oh, is pretty cool. Oberst and Rob Kennedy, those motherfuckers know. Yeah, that's that's pretty bad ass.

But what kind of a person would fake a wait? Do you think people give him fake weights? Imagine they wanted you to look like a moron, like, hey, move this weight around.

What does that one hundred pounds like? Hey, take a video. This show everybody how strong his assistant was trying to get me.

Right? Maybe yes. Maybe no, no.

It is not his assistant just doing it to make him feel good.

There was a guy who was I was like a royal some royal guy or something. Yeah. But he would play pool with guys and they would pay the guys to lose. And so he would this guy would enter into a pool tournament year and like, OK, here's a decent player.

But guys are like block shots on purpose.

Like you could tell someone had he's walking around and playing with Kim Jong Il. He's the world's greatest basketball player.

I weird, but apparently this is one of the things that Rob Cairney was telling me is that there is a whole culture of pull up the dude's name.

There's a whole culture of people online who do this with fake weights. And that's probably why he was talking about that, right?

Yeah, like fake followers and fake weight people just trying to get some cred.

So this is the guy, Brad Castlebury. OK, I know who that I follow him. I know he is. I've seen him get called out for the fake weight thing. Yeah. Oh, really? Because he's a he's a monster as well.

Right, exactly. He's a monster. He was a monster and he's still. Yeah, he's huge but apparently legs. Yes.

But apparently people have asked him to do and this is according to my friends in the powerlifting world.

Apparently people have asked him to show up at meets and do this. Why am I seeing his butt cheeks?

Oh, I mean, he's in his underwear. Not comfortable with that.

Why is you so not necessary, so not necessary for him to show that Squaddies world's strongest almost got his worst was strongest. Curious. Yeah, Rob needs to show the way Rob's a married man. He's not interested in your butt cheeks, sir. But anyway, that's a real problem in that world. Apparently is like people fake weights, which is real weird.

So shitty they gel, they fake everything. They fake how many followers they have. They fake how much weight they've got, I think.

Yeah, I know someone who fakes. Mm hmm. Yeah. This is him lifting a finger.

So how to spot fake weights. Wow. How can they spot it. Was this, what are they saying. How do you know that's fair? I guess they're saying how he held it. I mean, maybe like I don't know. I know the power lifters get deep into this, too, because of what you said. So. So what do you think they do?

They put like one fake one, one real one, one fake one. One real one likes to act.

Right. They want some resistance. And here's the other question that looks like a public gym. So how are you getting them fake weights into that gym?

You're not. That's. I followed him for a while. Yeah.

I've seen people call him out who for years, Brad Casselberry, because he's always like always been like a twenty four hour fitness. You bringing in stacks of fake plates.

Yeah, but you're right. You just take a picture of it. Yeah, exactly. That that would spread.

It's just such a weird world. The world of how much can you lift. Yeah. Well they're so into it. Right. Well these guys aren't learning Italian, so that looks real man.

Look at that bar bending.

That's fake. They're saying that's fake. This video is about how to spot it. So, like, we're not we're not, right. Yeah. They might be saying that's legit.

It's a weird I don't know how much I can lift about that. How much do you bench. I don't bench. I just sent you 50. It's a good move to scare people off. I don't know.

But remember when I took a jacket off, that's why I wear the jacket.

I want to intimidate people anyway, you know.

Yeah, it's a way you send me a picture of a fat comedian and you said don't end up like this.

No. Did I do that? Yeah. How fat was the year? Pretty porky. Did he have a shirt off on stage? And I must have been like at a teetering, teetering weight at the time. Are we discussing weight loss? Is that maybe a little trying to encourage you by fat shaming you?

Yeah, well, certainly you lean l worked. Yes. And I have food for you back in L.A. I got to get you in touch with my security guy. He'll get you into the studio. OK, some elk meat.

It's the only meat I eat because I'm going to have to eat.

Well, I got one this year already. I'm going to have to ship some of that meat back out here soon. Oh, man. So so you get a cooler, you get a do you have a freezer at your house now?

I just have this tiny fridge in the garage.

Maybe I should get a freezer. If you get a commercial freezer, I could fill it.

Really. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the only one that eats meat in my house, really, so I mean. That's why you're the man. That's right. You dominate. Are they all tired and sleepy all the time? Yes, they're in.

They're anemic, are they? No joke, really? Yes. Yes. They won't eat meat.

And it's so like the. No. Do they want.

Do they not eat meat for health reasons? Because obviously that's not working. Or is it a it was an oil thing. Animals, sympathy. Empathy.

Yeah. They just love the animals. And so my radio taught my daughters the same.

What happens to elk if you don't eat them? What happens to them? Yeah. Yeah, wolves eat them. They're not. Oh yeah.

Of course. Of course.

And it's funny because what you're saying, they're not supposed to they're not opposed to the dog eating meat. Well, that's good.

You don't want the dog to die. Like like they they literally asked, like, is there any meat around. Like because I'll make it and like I'll make a steak. And then there's always some left over and she's like encouraging it now because the dog showed up in our life and. Right. And she eats meat.

So do they go crazy because if you love it, that is one of the best things you feed your dog liver.

Oh yeah. Oh my God. Marshall my dog Marshall, you'll meet later today is the sweetest dog the world has ever known. Yeah. Loves everybody. But the wolf in him comes out when he smells liver. Oh really? Yeah. Is this like wild eyed look and you feed him liver.

He's like twitchy, getting pieces of liver.

He's a problem because it's so packed with it's something wrong in his DNA understands that liver is like the number one thing. It's the best thing to get. It's so great when. Why he's an alpha. The Alpha eats the liver. Oh really. Yeah it's there is.

That's Marshall with a little bird. I found you.

He wasn't paying attention. I was calling him and he wasn't paying attention.

And I see him staring out the window and there's a little bird that I think I think the bird flew into the window was her conked himself. Yeah.

And so the bird just sitting there and Marshall's just tweaking hard stare at this bird.

But he eventually the little birdie eventually flew off the master instinct.

Man. Yeah, my my sister has has two dogs, two hounds and she's had a chicken coop forever.

And the chicken in there is like twelve years old, you know, old chicken that's old.

Yeah.

And she still is producing eggs kind of you know, it's just part of the family in a way. It's just been there forever and the dogs and somehow someone left something open and those hounds ripped apart. Yeah.

Just lived with it like for years. No problem. No nothing. Soon as they had the opportunity.

Can't help themselves. Could not help themselves. My dog Johnny actually broke through the chicken coop. He figured out a way to get inside the chicken coop and he went on a rampage.

He killed like eight or nine of them, I forget. Oh my God, Tom. I got to him.

There's just bodies all over the place. Oh, but I had that time. I think I had twenty plus chickens. So there were so many chickens for him to kill.

It took a while for me to figure out what was going on. My wife screamed out, why is Chorney in the chicken coop.

I like pork and I ran out there and grabbed him.

Oh yeah. Or like because it's just they don't think he's well fed that's what. Yeah. Just for fun. Just for shits and giggles. Yeah. I just have a good time terrier's.

Kilner Well did I tell you the whole story about him where he was talked into killing chickens by a coyote, talked into it.

Yeah, they had a sit down in the bar.

There's a there's a thing that happens with coyotes that's really amazing. They're clever. They're clever in a very specific way.

This is what was happening.

My my chickens, when female chickens don't have a rooster, they lay eggs.

But the eggs never become baby chicks. Right. So this is what people don't know that are vegetarians.

Like, you can eat eggs guilt free because eggs will never become a chicken.

Right. Like like people want to look at it like you're doing some harm to the chick. Right. Right.

But if you have pets, chickens as pets and you just let them free range, they run around, eat bugs, eat grass, eat all these different things, they give you this incredibly nutritious eggs and you don't have to worry. Like there's no bad karma, no one's getting hurt. They just spin out eggs. But every now and then, the chicken will decide that this egg is going to it's going to hatch and they'll molt.

And I think it's called brooding. That's why it's called. And they'll start picking their feathers off their body so that they can have skin on the egg and they won't get off that egg. And you come near them, they peck at you. They want to preserve that egg because they in their head, they're confused as to why they're not having chicks. Right. A little dinosaur brain. So I had to take them and I would separate them from the other chicks.

And you had to put them in a smaller container where they could. Sit on the thing, so you had to put a perch, so when you put them in a container with a perch, then their legs clutch on the perch and they sit there in a smaller chicken coop, and then they would eventually get over it and then you could let them back in. They would act normal again, but otherwise they would damage themselves. They'd peck at themselves.

And it was real. Where you that is weird.

When you say they decide, does that mean that the all eggs could and they just picked this one out?

No, no, no. They have a feeling like no, no one's going to have it. No, no, no eggs can ever become a chick Gottschalk's. The only way it can be a chick is if there's a rooster. Got you.

So if these chickens, these female chickens, which, by the way, I didn't know, toss 40 or something, they just fucking had egg in the egg, became a chicken. You were eating it before I became a Jew. Yeah, that's what I thought I was. That's why you get a feather in it.

I put zero thought into it until we had chickens and then we realized this is brooding thing where they have to hold onto.

So you have to basically take them. If you don't do it, they'll go through a full cycle, like 30 days of brooding and they won't lay any other eggs. And it's like get real weird. Right, right. But they also they did damage themselves.

They pluck all their feathers out and shit. But if you take them and you put them in this small container for a number of days, like I forget how many days it is, they'll eventually get over it and then they act normal again. So we did that and I put this smaller container on the outside of the larger chicken coop.

Right. Because for whatever reason, I didn't bring it inside. I just put it outside of there.

The coyote became friends with Johnny Cash.

Johnny Cash is a mastiff and he's a fucking tank. Right. He's, you know, hundred and forty pounds head like a fire hydrant.

Dumb ass shit, right? Yeah.

Kayode He was super clever and the coyote was his friend. So the coyote would jump the fence and hang out with him and he had to suck because the coyote was way too small to hit him. Yeah, like the coyotes. Only probably thirty five pound, sure. But the coyote got him convinced that their buddies so the coyote would come visit and Johnny would see it outside the fence.

And so one day somebody left the gate open where in my the way the house was set up the, the dog could stay on one side and the chicken coop is on the other side. So I didn't have to worry about him because he's so strong. He could literally go through the chicken coop, which he eventually did.

He pulled the chicken wire apart and just slaughtered in there.

But before he did that, the coyote convinced him to go to the box with that one chicken was and knock it over.

So I'm sitting there and we were playing games. We were playing like sorry or something with my family.

And I look out the window and I see this fucking coyote with a chicken in its mouth running across my yard and bounces over my fence like it doesn't exist.

I mean, it's like, oh, you can't believe how graceful they are. I know.

Six foot fence, just like this big bang bang. Yeah. Gone with a chicken in every house.

I'm running out chasing them, you motherfucker.

And then I go over and I'm like, how did he get the chicken? And then I go over to where the chicken coop is.

And somebody had let Johnny over that side and he's destroyed the chicken coop, the small coop. And he's just looking at me like, hey, bad.

Hey, so what did you do?

And then I realized, oh, my God, the coyote tricked him into knocking this thing over. And then it stole the chicken because it was hanging out with him.

The coyote told me you'd want me to knock it off. It wasn't barking at the coyote. He wasn't at the coyote. It was an intruder. In his mind. The coyote was like my other dog was like his friend. Right. Right. They were buddies.

Let's do this. Come on. We could SHACKLEY but he didn't even know what to do with me. Dr. Bowen and Joe said I should do a box.

And the cat is like, Thanks, Succah pointing. It just bounces smart.

But I was I mean, I spent the rest of the day going, like, what did it do? Yeah. How did did it know that he could do that. Right.

Like how did it possibly or did it just think maybe we'll work together and we can do it.

Did it. No. Look how big that thing is. I think that thing could probably break this. Did it understand it.

Does it size is that my wife was walking. We have a new dog in the house. We have a pug named Frank.

Oh. New additions to the house.

Once you get Frank's like four weeks ago, I rescued it. My daughter my one daughter went to school and my other daughter replaced her with a pug. And my wife is walking the black lab.

Bella and Frank, the pug, she's just walking them, you know, on the sidewalk.

And she ran into a coyote in the middle of the street, coyote, pretty big one. And she said she was making noise, trying to get it off.

And she said he wasn't moving. He was just watch. He was like sizing up kind of what you're saying. Yeah. Looking at Frank, this little edible pug, but seeing my wife in this black lab and he she said he was just trying to.

Figure out how to. Yeah, what could he do? And my wife was making a lot of noise, trying to push him away. Eventually he went. And you did? Oh, yeah. There's Frank little face.

It's a great name for. He's adorable. Yeah, he's pretty great. They're not that bright. Yeah.

Well, they eat those things all day long. Yeah. Coyotes snatch those up from yards all day long.

It's a fun dog name to be like, come on Frank. I like you're talking to a guy from the 50s. You had a Frank Sinatra and Frank Sinatra.

Johnny Cash is in. Frank great. Talking to Frank is great. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do, Frank. Frank, Frank. Not in the office. He looks like you're Frank.

Frank, we've never had a hug before.

Oh really. They're cute dogs. Yeah, a little face. Look at that face. I'm hilarious. They're not that bright.

Got to keep them away from fucking coyotes. Yeah. Coyotes is going to are going to come and take it. Maria Bamford, great comedian, great comedian, great comedian.

She adopts pugs. She is like five at a time and only adopts them like at ten years old, like the end of their life when people aren't caring for them.

That's how big hearted her, how big hearted she is. She brings them in and cares for them to the end of their life when he has about 100 dogs at her fucking house.

So she really she's always got dogs. She's always adopted. She sent me pictures. Look at this new dog. How many dogs you have?

I went to her house. I did a backyard.

I saw the stand up thing, put him down and people were criticizing her for that backyard stand up show. She tested everybody. Oh, please. They're all comics. Everybody wore masks.

Yeah. And people were like, you're putting people at risk. Oh, snooze fest.

Professional comedians were saying, what? Yes. Which ones? No ones with money that don't worry about making a living.

They don't want anybody to do any dates at all, even if it's just fun.

Oh, shut your trap. Oh, it's so gross that you're taking this whole risk shaming thing. Oh, my God. Exactly.

She's asking people at risk. That was another thing in the article. Sorry to go way back to the pandemic. Another thing that countries that have done things well, they don't shame people into their actions.

If you give them the information and let them act on their own.

What are you going to take Twitter away if you shame them and and yell at them and we're better than you and you tell them what to do and you're going to shame the shit out of them, then they'll rebel.

You make Trump right, you'll rebel.

You're like, don't tell me what to do. Yeah, well, that's human nature, man. Let's plead guilty to a gross. Let people go perform.

I when performed in in Portland. Is anybody giving you any grief for doing shows. No. Wait till after the show. They will have them coming for you. They're coming for you to talk to me about the waitresses that we're almost losing their apartments and are back at work.

Talk to me about the people that are subsiding their anxiety by going finally getting out of the House and hearing comedians. Listen, I'm recording stuff.

I think you should be able to take risks. We are almost seven months into this thing. Yeah. And the idea that you're supposed to stay home until there's a cure is fucking insane. Since it's it's untenable. It doesn't make any sense. And obviously, it's you can navigate it. You can navigate these waters. You can do it safely. You wear a mask, you take care of your health. You take vitamin D, zinc and vitamin C, drink a lot of water, get a lot of rest and whatever's good for you get tested.

If you're vulnerable and you don't want to go, you don't go.

But if if the if the governor of that state says it's OK and the mayor says it's OK and the club owner is doing all the right things and the staff is there and the people show up, we've all decided as a collective that this is OK, we're adults, right?

We're out there bungee jumping or riding bulls or any other dangerous activities. Right. We should be able to do that. And the other argument, the argument against that, of course, is that you're going to transmit it to someone else. Don't fucking do that, OK? If you get yourself tested, if you have a vulnerable person in your household, don't do anything risky. That's right. But you can be tested now. It is possible you can find out 100 hundred percent.

And Trump kicked it in his back and he's 74.

Mean you get on the same shit. They put the rock on and he was doing Fast and the Furious. Can you imagine running through walls? The Rock got covid, and he was one of the most difficult things me and my family I've ever been through.

Meanwhile, you like. Come on, come on. You look great.

I'm watching your Instagram the whole time.

Yeah. You didn't even flinch. You didn't even cough. You never stopped posting difficult things my family and I have ever done. I'm a giant rock fan. I love that guy. He is jackhole. He's so inspirational. I know he's getting after it.

If you're lazy, there's three people you need to go look at. Cameron Haynes, David Goggins in the Rock. Go pay attention to those. They will get you off your fucking lazy ass. They sure will. And people think, oh, that's frivolous.

Listen, it's not it's mental strength is an important thing to have. Yeah. And it's something that you can you can you can grow. You can cultivate it, yeah, it's a thing that you see in other people, you admire it. And a lot of people, they like to pretend they don't admire it because they don't have it in themselves. And so they try to dismiss it, inspiring.

But those people, Goggins and campaigns and the rock people that are constantly Kevin Hart is another one to constantly hustling, always getting after it was those people are very valuable to humanity.

Oh, God, they really are.

And there's but people who are they consider themselves intellectuals or at least intelligent or artists or whatever.

They look at those people like they're doing something frivolous and that like maybe perhaps my support of it is just reinforcing the the meathead part of me that I enjoy, which is true. I'm a meathead.

What's a fact? Well, that's true. But around it I'm a meathead. But also cars. I like bow hunting. I like meathead type shit. OK, but I also like to read. Yeah. And I also like intelligent things. I like interesting discussions but and you get motivated to work really hard to find.

Is the hard part though getting your mind to force your body to do things when your mind starts concocting all these excuses and starts coming up with all these different ways where you don't have to do that.

Very clever. It's a sneaky bitch. You're really clever. You got to conquer it. You got to conquer your inner bitch. You got you got to figure out a way to tell that motherfucker to shut up and you start working. Yeah. Once you start sweating and things start moving along, you get you get help. Get a sense of satisfaction. That's right. Exactly.

You had you had one post literally. I saw it as I was doing a pour over coffee in the morning before my radio show. And you said something like, my inner bitch wanted me to go and just have coffee and skip the workout. I was sitting there, like, literally making the coffee.

That was a hard day. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard. You got to up for me. And I always feel silly talking about working out in front of you anyway. But as long as I know when I'm doing it in the day, if it's going to be right after the radio show, as soon as I turn it off and I go, like, I just have to know the schedule.

Yeah. Can't have it loose like some time in the afternoon. Does that work.

Yes, I have to know exactly. That's how I am with writing as well. Yeah. I have to have my writing. I have to know I'm writing today at three p.m. I will show up, I will flip open that laptop. I'll fucking fire it up. That's right. Yeah.

And and all you have to do is show up. Show up.

There's this great book on writing rituals, all these different writers, and they tell you it's just what each author did and some painters something rituals of Phil, you told me about this before.

I think I have. I should just I'll get you a copy. OK, that'll be my mission. It's so great. Just keep it at your end table just to kind of like pop it open and just see how these just that they some of them are really decadent.

Some of them are really puritanical. But they had it.

Well, the best one they knew was Thompson. Hunter S. Thompson there was bearded man took me and Fitzsimons reading Hunter S. Thompson's ritual and put it into music. Oh, really made a song. Do you think we can play that? Are you allowed?

I wonder if we can play that because. I'm in it, I mean, I gave him the rights to use it. Uh huh. What do you think happens if it's kind of an interesting experiment? Yeah, he seems like a nice guy.

It's weird like what you can get away with what you can't get away with Malone's who's who. It's not me. I certainly don't own it, but I let him use our voice. But it's me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's schedule like he had a writer come visit him and the writer, like, observed what he did in the day and was his ritual. He would do it every day.

I played it. All right. Here's here's his daily routine. Three p.m. rise three or five Chivas Regal with morning papers, smokes downhills, 345, cocaine, 350. Another glass of Shivas, another dunghill, four or five p.m., by the way, first cup of coffee and done it for 15 cocaine for 16 orange juice and another dunghill for thirty cocaine. 454 cocaine 505 cocaine 511 coffee downhills 530. Get more ice in the Shivas cocaine at 545 six o'clock.

Smoke and grass take the edge off the day to day. The day three hours into it with seven oh five wouldn't freak tavern for lunch.

Heineken two margaritas, coleslaw taco salad double order fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter downhills, another Heineken cocaine. And for the rest of the ride home, a snow cone, a glass of shredded ice which is poured over for jiggers of shivers. It's a snow cone. Shivers OK, nine p.m. start snorting cocaine. Seriously at 10 p.m. it drops acid, 11:00 p.m. sharp truc.

I don't know what that is. Cocaine and grass. Eleven thirty cocaine, et cetera, et cetera. 12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write down the right. Twelve or five to six, a right chartreuse cocaine, grass, shivs, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, downhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.

Six a.m. in the hot tub with champagne, dove bars. Fettuccini Alfredo, eight a.m. Halcion just sleeping pill, not 820 sleep. Oh my God.

I can't believe he shot himself. I can't believe he's in serious pain in hip replacements. Oh my God, man, you can only that's a that's I can't call that ritual.

You only throw that much sand in the engine. Yeah, right. Exactly where the blocks that's going to seize.

It was sad towards the end of his life because he couldn't talk like there's a famous interview with him on Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And he had lost his ability to communicate like I was aware.

Where's all those other words?

He would just was so compromised by alcohol and drugs is his. He couldn't talk anymore. That is the worst.

That really is bad. It's there was I was looking at this this video of David Lynch talking about TM.

You know, I'm into transcendental meditation. Yeah. Yeah. And he was talking about. That. The people that are in pain, that are drinking like that and taking the drugs, artists that are doing that stuff, that that ends up killing the art and that if you can find something else for your brain that gets you away from those things, you'll be able to create.

But that all of those drug fueled.

Alcohol fuelled artistic endeavors, artistic lives, all just burn out.

They think they just you've you've killed it, you've killed that part of you that's going to be able to create. And it's true, all those stories on it and in a way, I hope still is.

Mm hmm. Doing great. Yeah. Tell David Lynch to suck it.

Mm. We'll see. Honestly, I think that's a generalization, because I think it's a pretty I think that drugs and alcohol can be tools.

I think the problem is in short bursts, the inclination that people have to excess and is often what leads them astray. It's like just this inclination to just keep boozing and keep drugging and year after year, day after day.

Eventually your body falls apart. Right. This is why I'm doing sober October. Yeah.

How's it going? Nice. You feel good. You're all by yourself.

I know no one's no one's all alone, but I'm sure I've been working out.

I just had to work out every day for the whole month. Oh really? That's like. Yeah. Well, what's your normal schedule.

I take days off. Yeah. Normally take a couple of days off a week. Right. But I've just been forced myself to do what I would call active recovery. So I mix it up. So like days I just do different things on different days and just I'm just trying to keep it going.

One of the things I've become real obsessed with is this thing called the rogue echo bike.

Uh huh. You know, Internet now, you know, in an airline bike. Bikers. Yeah, you do your handles and then you basically it's wind to that.

And yeah, this is like the most brutal version of that.

Oh yeah. It's a really rugged, tough piece of equipment.

And I've become obsessed with seeing how much I can do on it. It's really weird. Like I started doing these Tabata rounds. I would do like four rounds. Four rounds are you do eight to botas, which is twenty seconds of sprinting, followed by ten seconds of rest. And you do that for a cycle of eight like you do that eight times. How long.

How far it takes four months to do eight times. How far is the sprint. No just just time. Oh just doing time. Because you're not going anywhere. You're like you're on the bike sprint.

I mean listen to me. I'm on your you do that. It takes four minutes and I would do that. I started off doing it. I would just do it like four times, which is sixteen minutes.

Sixteen minutes of like sprinting which is lot. It's difficult. Yeah.

And then I moved it up to eight and then I moved it up to ten and then I moved it up thirteen. So now I'm basically at 52 minutes of sprinting and resting, sprinting and resting and it's done. It's amazing for my cardio. Yeah.

But you just rest and recover. And then I have this day of dread where I know today I'm doing the Erdan bike ride and then I start fucking with my head and I start saying, OK, possie, today you're going to do fifteen in fifteen, fifteen sets. Each one is four minutes long.

Ready go. And once you get through one.

Yeah you go. OK, thirteen more to go. Fourteen more to go you know. Yeah. Thirteen, twelve.

And you just keep going and then when you get to seven you feel the finish line coming and you get to six and the five and you're fucking.

I'm drenched with sweat. Right. And I'm taking liquid ivy and these big two liter bottles and I'm chugging it.

She's become crazy.

It's just the starting. That's the hard part. It's the dread. Yeah, it's the dread. Yeah. I try to find ways to avoid doing this because I'm doing it three days a week sprinting on this thing. That's amazing. Good for you. But my quads, my legs are getting big.

Mine are getting big too. What are you doing. Getting fat peloton. Oh sorry. What do I look. No, no, no, no. You look great.

I hit Alton's, I hit a sixty one week streak one weeks in a row. I'm at sixty one. I'm still alive. That's amazing. It's good. How many days a week are you doing it. Three. And when you do it are you following the same course. No. Do you have like different instructors. You follow their workout.

I've got this great. I only like one instructor. I love this guy Matt Wilbur's who's he's not partying on the bike.

There's a lot of you know, everyone has their different social cycle, kind of a right, you know, girls flirting. And Wilbur's is like a coach.

He's like, just dial hard core. He's like, yeah, it's like a high school coach kind of thing.

And he's just all about, you know, hitting these zones and doing the stuff and but he keeps coming out with new ones.

So, like, every week he drops like, you know, 60 Minutes or 45 minute.

And just it just keeps you keeps me motivated, keeps me in and it has music. So you're going along to the music music and he's coaching you and he's coaching you.

Like telling you, crank it up, let it go. All that stuff. Right. Exactly.

Exactly was awesome. They also have a treadmill now too, right. Yeah.

Yeah. There was a place that we were working in Phoenix once and we went to this gym. We're doing stand up in Phoenix and we went to this gym during the day and they had these cardio machines that were exactly what I always wanted.

I said, why can't someone come up with a cardio machine where as you're running, you're doing like a video game and so like so you had, like, fire in your left hand.

And I take what you did with your right hand. Yeah, but it was like a elliptical machine.

And you the only way you went forward is. By doing this, I see on the screen in front of people, and you were shooting Pupu and you would turn it pupu, and you you were. I forget where you're shooting. I think I think you were in a tank.

You're shooting it like other objects.

It wasn't so sophisticated where you had like there was there's a thing that they're doing where they I know there was a concept at least where they had VR goggles and you had this omnidirectional treadmill. So you'd be harnessed by the waist and the omnidirectional treadmill would go in anyway. And so you would run left one right. And you'd shoot at this and shoot at that, but you'd actually be getting exercise. And because you're on this self-propelled, omnidirectional treadmill, could you ever use a self-propelled shot now, dude?

Now we have this thing called the real runner at the old studio, and I miss it. It's really it's 15 percent harder than regular running because it's at this little slope and you're pulling to get it to go.

And as you get it to go, like you keep it up this pace, it's it's very difficult. Wow. It's really good.

Like running on the beach, like in the sand on the beach. Pretty fucking good. Yeah. It's it's not quite the same as that, but it's really good. Yeah.

But anyway, the point is it's if you could have something like that where it's difficult to do but also fun like you put on these goggles and you're doing Halo or something. A quake. Yeah. And you're running down the hallway and shooting the things. I mean. Yeah. What workout you would get.

That'd be really cool.

If you get it behind you and have like someone's coming up behind you, you got to outrun them because think about how many people get addicted to video games.

Yeah. Yeah. Video games are extremely addictive. Sure.

If you get addicted to something that actually gives you cardio where you're running four or five hours in a day.

Yeah, that because the only way you get good at this game is by drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins, eating clean. Yeah. Come on.

Yes. Let's do it. Let's make it. Well, I think they're really close to doing something like that. You've tried that game beat Sabr where you're swinging. Yes.

Six when John Carmack was the wizard of that. When you have that ramped up, granted, maybe if you made those waited till you're actually it's not wait to here. I've played that for like an hour.

You get pretty sweaty if you're doing good. Oh yeah. Fucking up every thirty seconds.

Yeah. Well do you remember when we put that boxing game on and I was, I was whacking all these opponents and I was getting tired. Yeah.

I was like, this is a good workout. I get tired during dance dance revolution because if you actually know how to box a little, you could fuck those guys up. Right. So those guys would come at me like bipap, duck under it, but you're actually moving.

And when you get hit, the light flashes like that. It's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Like if you could dial that in and be like go against Tyson or go against. Yeah, you know what I mean. Like go against Ali like that.

They will definitely have that someday. Frazier coming at you. The thing would be cool is if you could actually hit something. Yeah.

If you actually had like a thing in front of you that you would hit like a heavy bag. Right. Because right now it's not that way. Right now it's just er so you just swing it er right.

When it's like when you got on a heavy bag in front of you might hurt, you see it and you might hurt yourself.

The problem with that is like if you, if you swung and you thought that the bag was here but the bag is right here, you might like hurt your wrist and it really depends on it.

Maybe possible maybe it could be a really spongy bag. Yeah, I go, I go lightwater bag. But they have water over here, a water bag. They're really good because they don't there was weight to them but they don't have the same. Like sometimes people have a problem with actual heavy bags because the impact is so jarring on your joints.

If you hit hard, especially like Roy Jones was here yesterday and he was talking about it, he hits these little paddles and instead of like regular mitts because he hit so hard, like he doesn't want to hurt his hands.

So he's like, well, yeah. And so he's just whipping into these paddles. And the panels offer very little resistance to just make the slap right.

Just for the quickness of it. Yes. Yeah, right. So if you could have something like that, maybe where it was like you hit it, but it doesn't it's not hurting you.

It's got like, like it just seems like the fun part of it, of like you being able to go against legends, you know, like that. That's got to be somebody.

Oh, someone there had done this on their own. I just found this is a test they made. Uh oh.

So it shows you the spots to hit. Yeah. Oh that's cool. Which you would want, right. Yes. That's a great idea. That's a great idea.

Is that bag look like it's set up right. Well the bag is actually virtual. Right. So like there's a virtual bag but then a physical bag. So the virtual bag with the goggles are doing is picking up on the actual position of the real bag. So when you're hitting it, even with these fake gloves, the distance is correct. So if you're seeing the way this guy look at the video, the way this.

Oh, no, he's punching the wall. Oh, that's a Mark O'Mara. But so there is just doing that for reflexes.

Go back to the back part, though. Let me see the back part again. Now, if you could make that square, but see how he's hitting it like he knows where the bag is, he's he's hitting it in the correct distance.

So it's it's showing him accurately where the bag is as he moves forward. It's representing where the bag is pretty dope.

Yeah.

They're getting there. It's going to come. Right. I mean that. Yeah. I'm able to run like against Carl Lewis. Pretty close.

Come on, man. Make it a little fun. Yeah, but the peloton for my for my thing has been.

It's been good. Yeah. Yeah. But if they could combine something like see if you can find that omnidirectional treadmill plus VR game because there was a thing that they were doing.

I don't remember what the game was. They're working on it. Right. I'm pretty sure it was in beta. Yeah. And they were just trying to figure out how to do it. But they wanted to do it like Quake or Doom or one of those 3D shooters where you'd be running with like a plastic gun and you'd run down and shoot at things.

It seems like that's like the gyms of the future, like getting a kayak and you're going down a roaring river or you know what I mean, like all that running through there, like the mountains. And yeah, that's probably where the gyms are going to head.

Or how about you running in like wolves or chasing you? Yeah, you're on this treadmill.

You turn around V.R. and you feel like, yeah, this is the best looking one. I saw you. There's a couple different ones. I remember that's an omnidirectional treadmill as well. Yeah.

So I remember the one I was like the one you're talking about a little concave I think. Right.

It was circular. OK, so this caption the same way, but the way the ground moves can go all directions.

We'll see if that machine is going to get in there. So the world's got goggles on. Look at this, a robot that's so dope. Look at that. He's pretty.

So is he harnessed into that treadmill? Not know.

His avatar looks like a robot.

Oh, so it does go for tracking that little thing on the back. Right.

So it seems like it's. Oh, that's so awkward.

They just need to get that better. Yeah, it's the beginning. Oh, really? What you really could get is like 70 years trapped in. Hmm. Oh, look at that. Yeah.

So that's what I'm talking. Yeah. Look, reason Inception. He's walking down the street and Inception. So is that a treadmill.

Yeah, that's a treadmill. A little trap. That's what I'm talking about. Something like that. We're strapped into an omnidirectional treadmill that looks like you'd fall off it.

Look how tough that is, how he's strapped in.

Yeah. So he can kind of move anywhere. Oh, get in there, kids. Come on, though. How bad ass is this? Yeah.

And if you had ankle weights on and risk weights, what a fucking workout you would be.

I would be pretty you would you would workout so much you would die because you'd be so extreme. Yeah. You'd be so into it.

You come back and be exactly like what happened to me. A six pack. What's going on. Yeah. You'd want to play for like hours and hours.

Right?

I got really into bombs that I'm on the VR boom, so it's a good name butat.

Yeah. I mean that you could figure out a way to turn your addiction into something positive. Right. Like now you're talking like the best way to do it for those video game guys is to become a professional gamer.

Yeah, well you can actually make a shitload of money playing professional games, but if you could figure out a way for regular people that have no desire to do that, to use it as recreation and then get fit, yes, I know a lot of people got fit with dance, dance, revolution.

It's no joke. No joke. That was exhausting. I was like my little girl. My girls were little at the time and were dancing doing that thing. It was like I had to sit down on the couch.

Sometimes you go to an arcade, like at a bowling alley or something. You watch some dude is like an expert. That shit you like. Oh, OK. You're river dancing with those guys. You know those rivers commercial. Yeah.

There was a funny it wasn't like a Nick Swardson movie. You think of what he had, he was Reverdy really good at that dance dance revolution in the arcade. You say like real intent.

Was it a Sandler movie. I think so. It was in gaming so. Yeah but yeah.

No that stuff. Yeah. You playing the we when we would do the we and.

Oh Yes. Stuff together you're moving without this one can hold. Yeah. I was going to see around but she's swimming. Oh look at that.

And again the first one I showed you it said a weight, a thousand pounds. So like it seems like it's going to be. An issue getting them into a place where you could use it. Uh huh. Well, this is a little smaller. I don't even know. This is called silver cord, I guess. But she's kicking it's holding her weight up.

Well, this is why she's doing the breaststroke. She's been pretty crazy, hung out in the air doing the breast. That is wild.

That's cool. You can walk in VR. I feel like the next step is you're going to want to be able to jump. And if you can't physically jump, you have to hit a button that makes that right back out, that kind of right.

You jump and land on things like Bam! Oh my goodness, they're getting there.

Yeah, but it just seems like on tech, it's a perfect sort of mesh, the perfect mixing of a healthy activity with an addictive activity. Right. You can turn a positive into a negative because the negative has always been for me at least, they're just a massive waste of my time. I get videos with video games. I can't fuck with them. I know Jamie and I talked about it like with the new place, like we go to Texas, we're going to bring the video games like, no, I can't I can't just play a little bit.

No, no. I just it's to me, it's like a cocaine addict.

I came in one day when you were in that back room playing and it was you were in a frenzy. I was like, I'm just going to wait over here.

This is like, well, they're so fun. Yeah. They're so good and they're so well. I mean, it's too good.

It's too exciting. You know, it really is. Yeah, it's too good. And you had really high tech stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well the graphics today.

Yeah. Just amazing. What they can do today with video games is just so special. Yeah. When people get shot they explode, you see blood splatter all over the place and and they don't look like people either. Right. Yeah.

Ogre's with like mechanical arms and so they, they make noise like if only you could do it for twenty minutes and be satisfied. Yeah. Please, it'd be good.

Well the way to do it would be to make sure that you get exhausted doing it right so that you can, you can only play because you're running on this omnidirectional treadmill.

And if you did that like put put like ten pound weights on your arms. Yeah. Ten pound weights on each arm. Ten pounds on each. Like Birao you'd be beat. Yeah. Beaten down. Even five pounds.

Even a pound. No I know it's a lot on each.

Made you simulate carrying the guns you're running around in the game with. You'd be tired as shit. Right. That's a real good.

Yeah right. Give you a real metal thing. Heavy metal gun with a trigger.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a fucking cannon.

Don't don't don't. You don't want something that kicks body armor plus size haptic feedback. The whole deal. You get hit you get, you get zapped a little bit if you ever seen you know what.

Sandboxes. No dude sandbox is a very similar situation.

It's a VR game that you go to a warehouse and they have it set up. So you have the parameters of the game and you put on a haptic feedback vest. You have VR goggles and they hand you guns and these different things. And then you go and you you duke it out with zombies, like there's this one Deadwood mansion. It's called. See if you find the. Yeah. So this is this is what it looks like.

Right. I've done this a bunch of times. My family. It's really awesome. It's awesome with your family. Yeah.

You do it, you do it together and you have fun. You go missions together, you you shoot aliens and zombies.

You feel like you're all in that reality. I mean, kind of it's obviously fake, but it sure looks like that. Like when you see the video, it looks like that, but it looks good. It's really cool. It's certainly discernible. This is Deadwood mansion.

So the zombies come running at you and you gun them down like look at them, right. To to freak you out and you get a shotgun.

Apparently, that's the new update. You get a shotgun with the Deadwood mansion, but they're running out. You're fucking gunning them down. Look at them.

That's what they look like and like this. Someone die like you. Yeah, you're right. Go down and she's out of the game and you know, she's going out of the game. You can bring her back to life. You have to hold on to her shoulder and you recharge your with your energy. It's like so when you see them, when they're down the black and white, when you grab them, you can bring them back to life and you you get killed, you see in black and white.

So, you know, you're dead. I have not gone.

But one of the cool. Have you have your kids or have you ever gone with them to like VR haunted house or does that exist.

That's going to be. Yeah, yeah. Probably can't do it this year obviously, but. Right. Good. Cause that would be great. It would be a really creepy walk around an entire place that's made for it.

Well, they had at Universal they had a walking dead attraction and they had actors and so they had people like full on walking dead makeup and like some of it was like mechanical.

And some of it is the haunted house. And they would come out. Right. But it was like a real person. Like I walked through that said, no, my daughter lost a flip flop and I had to go back for it.

She ran left. She left her flip flop. She's probably ten. Oh, that's. You brought her into town and she was too scared to go back, so I had to go back and get it and pardon me going the right way. And everybody thought I was a thing. All the other people, I'm like just walking through looking for this. Look at this.

Here's the scariest one yet. Scary Dad.

Oh, my God. It's that guy from Italy. It's so funny.

What's his name again? Carlo Fredonia.

It's Carlo. But Donny, he's coming for the killer polo with me. And I got the and I found it.

Found the flip flop, came back like a hero. Oh, boy.

What a low bar there is for being a hero in twenty twenty the. I got the flip flop.

I did it, man. I feel like I feel like things will probably get weirder before they correct themselves.

Right. Look at this is the constant narrative. You're having a good time and it goes back to covid.

I didn't even think enco but I was thinking like aliens coming or Halloween decorations coming to life and hunting us down someone somewhere.

There's there's a couple more curveballs waiting for us.

Yeah, well, the Trump getting covid, I thought was like, wow, this movie's lit. Yeah.

I was like, this is a crazy simulation, whatever we chose, because I feel like if he dies.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If he dies and Nancy Pelosi becomes president and Pense and Pelosi are battling over who wears the crown.

Oh, God, I know. I mean, that was really what could have happened. Yeah.

I mean, pense would have become vice president, would have become president. But then then he gets what happens when there we are a month later is the election. Right. And then the election is not going to be we're going to find out November 4th who the who the winner is.

Yeah, it's going to be weeks unless it's a landslide. But I think you're going to see a landslide.

If it's a landslide, then you'll find out that night or. I don't believe that's true.

If it's not a landslide, then if it's a landslide, I'm sorry. If it's a landslide with in-person voting, probably.

But it's not going to be it's going to be so many mail in ballots. You don't know. I don't know. Well, you know, everything you told me already, you know, but I have to pretend that I don't.

So the conversation keeps going. What do you think is going to happen? Who do you think is going to win? I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, they're saying that Biden is up like 16 points. But I mean, we've been through this before. Right. And was ninety six percent chance that Hillary was going to win.

So I also got any of Biden is up in polls. Polls are only answered by people.

So fucking stupid, the intraplate. Always have to take that into consideration. Here's what I say to people. Have you ever responded to a poll? All right.

Have you know there you go. No one with a life.

Really true. So people who are dumb, everybody should be president. Great. What is the numbers we're talking about? How many people you don't know?

We only get people with flat tires and white neighborhoods. I do kind of. They're waiting for triple J. The only time we can get them to talk to us. Who is being polled? I've never even seen a poll.

I don't know. I don't ask me to poll. I don't know anybody who's been asked to poll.

No, never. I don't know if people I want more choices, I think.

Oh, yeah, that would be amazing. That's what I want. I want better choices. I don't want this polarization. I hate it. Yeah.

No, they should put together teams of like mixed this these four people in these four people of mixed ideas and get the best ideas and then they're going to run as a platform rather than as an individual.

I think initially the idea of representative democracy and the idea of Republican Party and Democratic Party was a great idea.

But I think the problem is people form this loyalty to this side in this blind loyalty, blind loyalty to their team, and then they have confirmation bias and everything this team does. It's good. That's all you focus on and you decide that this team's narrative is correct, and yet you subscribe full on to the ideology and the other people are the enemy and the other people are sexist and racist or the other people are Marxists and leftists or whatever. Whatever you decide is wrong with the other people.

Could you imagine?

I think what I'm getting at is I think the problem is groups that's the problem is identifying in any group whether exactly antifa or proud boys or the fucking whatever they figure out a group, Piggot pick a group.

The idea of identifying with a group is a terrible idea. Terrible idea.

Could you imagine being so all in with either party? Like could you imagine that you're just blindly following everything they say just because they're that color?

Yeah, because I know a lot of people. Oh, I know a lot of people that are all blue. All all they do. I do too. Up and down. Even though I've seen on people's Twitter page, I vote blue across the board.

Yeah. It's like you stop thinking, it's just to stop thinking for yourself. It's ridiculous.

And the idea that only bad people vote Republican is ridiculous too. It's our only dumb people are weak people or bad people. Vote Democrat is ridiculous too. And this narrative gets reinforced by the fact that there are these two opposing teams. Right. And you have to pick a side.

And it's also reinforced by social pressure, like your neighbors and your friends, those who work well and also the industry that you're in, certain industries, it's it's frowned upon to vote left in certain industries.

It's frowned upon to vote. Right. And you want to succeed in that business.

And so you sort of look like I mean, you know, it's his job to go to some point.

Do you think so? Yeah, I do. I think it has to do. I don't think what one of the reasons I think that I don't think it would go out on a limb I think Trump is going to lose is because people just can't deal with the anxiety.

It's like we're were saying earlier, like you can't be at a hot boil. We've been in a hot boil for four years and people are exhausted. They just wanted to go back to someone calm, just calm the shit down, just calm it all down.

Well, it'd be nice if there was someone we thought was going to calm it down. I don't know. I think anybody but Trump would calm it down, honestly. Really? Yeah. Put Romney in put put anybody in that.

I think what anybody think that if Romney was he is a much more measured. Yeah.

Much more calm guy, Joe, compared to Trump everybody.

And the fighting was against Obama. He looked like some sort of weird religious radical, you know, remember, I don't I don't get Romney the fuck away from us.

Right, exactly. Romney you want Mitt Romney? I'd vote for him tomorrow. Weird.

I know. I know that he's a Quaker or some shit I heard. Where's magic underpants? He wears magic underpants. I can't have him in there. He's a Mormon. I know. It was just a gentleman.

Just a gentleman has a nice family who just mellow.

He's in a really nice cult. You're going to be in a cult. Yeah. Mormons are the nicest cult members. So nice. This is the kindest, sweetest people. They're so nice. Really family oriented. Oh my God. At all the cult members.

I had neighbors who they were so kind. They were so friendly. 100 percent so nice. Delightful. Yes. I'm not kidding. Genuinely nice. Yeah. They believe the dumbest shit.

I mean it was like you talk to them about what they believe, like oh my goodness, you're like who cares. God bless you.

OK, so I don't I'm not being friendly. Joseph Smith was how old.

Fourteen. He found golden tablets contained a lost work of Jesus and only he could read it because he had a magic rock because they was using it.

I don't care about that part of it. I just care about how he acts in the parking lot with. Me, I was just I was just down in Salt Lake a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. And I was driving on the street and I saw these two dudes with white shirts with ties on the clipboard walking door to door. Yeah.

God bless them. Yeah. You to go out and do it. I know. God bless them.

I know exactly worst things in the world and that is worse things in the world than that. One hundred percent. And I don't care about what they're into. Just just mellow it out.

And I honestly do believe that you can take almost anybody that's in office and run them.

And I will be more mellow. And you may not agree with everything that they're doing, but it will just turn the temperature down. And I don't think people I think people are exhausted.

They're exhausted. We can't live with this at this pace, at this level, at this nonsense.

But you think this is all because I think a lot of this when you go to the back to the social dilemma, I think a lot of this is going to happen no matter what. I think Trump is a particularly polarizing figure because he's got that fuck you attitude and you come at him, he comes at you harder and he's just a battler. Right. So it doesn't it doesn't the help it doesn't help anything.

It's not there's no soothing from him. There's none. But I think that's your job as a leader.

But I think we would be polarized no matter what right now.

I just definitely lines drawn that we're definitely polarized. But if it's at top, if at the top you had a real Republican just saying, chill out, let's go to work on this stuff, it wouldn't be cool.

You mean wouldn't be this heightened thing.

You mean example other than the cult member, other than other than Romney, who is there anybody out there that stands out as someone that you would want to be representing that side?

I don't know. Kasich was kind of normal.

Yeah, he seems normal. Yeah, he seemed like he seems measured. Yeah.

He seems like he's just going to be a grown up. Just be, you know, just give me a mellow adult. It's going to do the right things.

I'm waiting for Dan Crenshaw. Crenshaw. Yeah, I know he he's been on the podcast several times. Navy SEAL lost an eye in combat.

Oh well so you know Texas since Houston's OK, great guy.

Super, super like reasonable, intelligent, rational, well thought out. I really enjoyed talking to him. It's good. Really enjoyed talking to him since I don't know him.

Always necessarily agree with him, nor do I think I should.

I think there's a I mean, there's room for disagreement, but the way he communicates is very rational. Yes, very sensible. It's very intelligent. And the man is like a legitimate American hero.

The guy that you're that guy in that office shouldn't be as frantic and stuff as anybody on on the edges, you know what I mean?

Like, that guy's got to be the measured adult that kind of takes in all of those people and makes sense of it and translates it and leads and keeps us all united, you know, makes everybody, you know, the most upsetting part of this run has been just turning Americans on Americans like that's never happened in my life where we're making each other the enemy and we're not, you know, you and Utah and you see people that know each other's throats.

They just want to raise their kids. Yeah. Make their money, live their lives. We're not the enemy.

And painting other painting other Americans as a threat, as a foreign threat.

He's doing so upsetting. Who's doing that? Trump. How is he doing that?

He keeps painting other Americans is a foreign threat. Yeah, constantly says that.

Constantly says that the left is just out to destroy. And those people I mean I mean, everything he says is painting it that way. It's not everything he says. Sure. Kind of might be exaggerating a little bit.

Well, I mean, it's always inflaming and it's always he runs as there's no there's no foreign power is the enemy. It's the others in this country does.

China is the enemy. He does think there's real issues with China. That's true. And I think there are real issues economically with China. Yeah, I don't.

So, you know, I don't understand. It's all above our pay grade, right?

Yeah. I don't understand any of that. I don't understand the nuance of we're a couple of jokes slingers. Right.

I don't know of health care, but I do know when somebody is turning us against each other and he likes doing that.

Well he certainly likes the battle, you know, and that was what I admired most about Obama, was the way he commanded respect was just with grace, the way he handled himself at press conferences, the way he discussed things.

Yeah, you're very respectful. Even when he was attacked, you know, he would he would be measured. Yeah. He was a statesman, right?

No. Cool. Yeah. Just keep your head and it makes it makes us all come down. Yes. That's what we need really legitimately.

If you have if the dad in the house is an alcoholic and he comes home and you don't know who's coming in that day, he's going to attack me or is he going to get everyone's nervous.

Yeah, that's kind of the way the country feels. Yeah. Dad just comes home and he's home at six and just has dinner and watches the ballgame and he just sits there and he's like you.

Simplistic way of describing. I don't think it's accurate. But it's an analogy, it's an analogy, I think we all need to get on mushrooms. I really do.

I think we need the last time to rituals a couple of weeks ago, a couple of weeks ago, well, in Texas, so more than a couple of weeks.

Where did you do it? What was the atmosphere? My studio. I did I did some during the my own podcast, you did? Yeah, we did mushrooms together. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah really.

Yeah. I get giggly in the middle of the podcast. Yeah. We get pretty silly. Oh, I got to listen to that.

I think people need something that connects them to some sense that there's something more to life than just just what we're experiencing in front of us.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, just ritual.

We need something, something that transcends transcendental meditation.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. I know you're into that.

But the results with you and only not impressed.

So it hasn't really been compelling. I see what you're saying, but you're not buying guys over.

They just drink and pour over and sitting on his couch thinking I was awesome complaining about Trump.

I don't see any light over I days.

It's him and Frank on the couch and Frank hanging out, making bread.

But it is that thing that you're talking about. It's the same thing that that drugs access.

It's the same thing that religion runs after, but without any dogma, without any leaders, without any thing. And it's clarity.

It's just a just a kind of a sense, a growing sense as you do it over time, that there is a bigger consciousness, that there's something that is more compelling and more uniting with all of us than than what we're shown on the surface.

Well, I've been doing a lot of breath exercises, breathing exercises. I do these the ones that I enjoy the most because it puts me in kind of a trance is six long seconds in six deep breath, like six seconds, deep breath in a six second exhale. And I just do this in the cycle. So I count one, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six. And I, I do it like I try to be as long as I can.

But yeah, the most important thing is to get it rhythmic. So six seconds in six seconds. Six seconds. And dude, it's crazy. Like I'll sit there and I'll think ten minutes has gone by and it's 45 minutes later. Yeah I'll check because I set a timer when I do it and I just decide at a certain point in time to stop and it's, it's anxiety scrubbing. It's like I'm cleaning my mind of extraneous bullshit.

That's not that's just things that are not necessary that are getting in the way of like.

Yeah. Noise crackling life noise.

Like I'm very, very busy right now. I do a lot of shit.

I've got a lot of things going on and I have this mind that tries to find things to think about, OK, I'll lie in bed and I'll get a thought in my head about asteroids or something nutty that I don't need to think about right now, or I'll think about the volcanoes under Yellowstone.

It's like what happens if one does erupt like, yeah, how does one deal with that? Like and then all of a sudden it's fuckin two hours later and I'm lying in bed consumed with this thought. The brain goes after it. Yeah. Yeah. The for me, the best way to stay present is through these breathing exercises I found like it's a great relief to me.

It's Yeah. And that's why I describe like anxiety scrubbing. Yeah. Scrubs away.

Yeah. That's kind of it's very similar to the way I describe it.

You know, yours is you have a mantra, right.

The mantra and you just keep repeating that mantra and it just gives your brain a cue basically that it's allowed to it's going to start thinking about this and going and going a little deeper and leaving all of that stuff up here, leaving all of that dates and anxiety and what all that stuff that you're thinking about here in the world that you need to think about.

But it's just giving your brain permission like a little portal to go to a different state of consciousness.

Right. And you just kind of hang there and then and sometimes you're it's still busy.

The thoughts will still kind of come in.

But twenty minutes pops off and you come out and it's exactly what you're describing. Yeah.

Scrubbed your nervous system free reset. You reset the computer.

We operate too much on momentum and I think thoughts and little ideas, maybe anxiety a little way they cling to you. Yeah.

As you're going along and then they're stuck with you and then you've got all these things that are stuck with you, whether it's, you know, bills or relationships or struggle or. Yeah.

You know, commitments, things you have to do things you have to resolve, things that, you know, the news you've the requirements of, you know, things, all these different things. Focal points of attention. Yeah. And you can carry them around like weights and what the what the meditation does does.

Make those disappear, but it right, it makes you able to carry those. Yes, there's a different perspective in carrying all that cleans for me.

I feel like if my brain was like a cylinder, like a standing cylinder, it would have all this shit stuck to it all over the place that maybe I don't need to be aware of all the time.

Yeah, because it doesn't help. No. Right.

But these breathing exercises for me allows me I really do go into a trance. It's really strange.

And I like the the fact that I'm doing a breath exercise as well. So it's meditation, but it's also breathing. Yeah. It's like both things are happening at the same time. So there's an exercise aspect to it because breathing exercises like when you're sitting much like this is what I'm doing like.

How long is he going to do? I keep going, keep going, I'll do that for 45 minutes. Right, exactly. At that pace. Right. And when I'm doing it like that, it does puts me into a trance. Yeah, but it's also an exercise for my lungs, right?

Yeah. The breathing thing is good. It's heavy. Yeah. You need to do it because there's a lot to carry for all of us.

For every single person that you pretty light. All the things we talked about today. It's pretty light.

It's all pretty light. What about the bread is going well.

Bread is bread is meditation is a little bit right. Yeah.

And I'm probably in a craft like making. Oh yes. Bread. Yeah. It's very yeah. It's like stand up. It's like you're always working on perfecting this craft and letting your mind go and just deal with that.

When you're doing that, you're not thinking about anything else in the world. I need you.

All right. When it comes out of the oven and cut into it and then put butter on it, right then it's pretty bad as best it is. Is that the best? Right, then? Not right.

Then how much do you I mean, it's pretty close, like a steak where you let it rest. Yeah, let it rest. How long? Some people say let it rest like another couple of hours.

Who are those fucking people. They want cold bread people who are so filled up with bread.

Wow. I'm still doing the one show last night. I got jam in my teeth. I got seeds.

But warm bread though.

So good. So good. So I want to get warm bread. Can't wait for it to cool off. Friend of mine gave me this butter that he got from that he found here that he had had in France. Oh my God.

Butter from from Yahav. This butter on that bread was just wrong.

Wrong saying it's all I've been doing during the pandemic. I just keep baking bread and driving it to comedians. I've seen every comedian, you know, and delivered bread and delivered bread.

Well, that's it's become like my little that's such a nice thing getting out of the house and you go drive up and see Ali Wong and hang and give her bread. I miss you, Leslie Jones, and hang with her and give her her bread.

And I'm just running around L.A. feeding people. Bert, Tom. It's beautiful. It's it is. It really is. It's a cool it's a cool thing to do. It is.

It keeps you connected. You're giving people. I'm making too much of it. You know how often you do. Can't eat it like twice a week.

So it's for are you still doing it for a podcast as well. Are you still doing that? I'm still doing the breaking bread podcast. So you're making bread doing that as well?

Well, I don't do no for the podcast.

We just talk and eat what you were doing something where you were making bread. I was making yeah.

On my YouTube channel. I show people how to bake bread.

You're still doing that? Yeah. So how often are you doing that? Not that often.

I haven't done one in like a month or two. What the fuck were you making all this bread. I just get it rolling. Well, I don't want to show them how I'm doing every night. It's the it's the same thing.

Well then talk during the show. But you talk about just talk shit about Trump.

People get mad at you, you up your channel. But he likes Romney. What's what's with this guy.

This guy's a Romney fan.

Come on. You're liberal, liberal. Get dirty liberal.

But having a cock anymore where he is. Look at them. Look at him. Yeah. There you go. Melania Starter. I remember when that shirt was new.

We fund the new band name. Yeah, that's you buddy. Yeah, I like it. Listen, we did three hours. This is the weirdest timewarp.

It's very weird.

It's a weird as time wise, but it's about three hours. What do we have.

Yeah. Right. And thirty seconds it will be. Yeah. How about that. So cool.

Three hours. I miss having you in L.A.. I miss having me in L.A. too.

And it's weird because like you know, I mean the store it's going to it'll probably feel more pronounced when the Comedy Store opens up. Yeah. And you're not around but just knowing that you're not there is a little weird.

Well, but I like that I can just get on a plane and come here.

I like pretty crazy when I open up a club out here. Yeah. Yeah. You must come. I'll come anytime you want. You know, that's I'm not going to stop coming.

I've met multiple stages of things I'm doing on here. We're moving into stage two. This is like stage three positive.

Stage three will be the club and then stage four will be a gigantic ranch where I run my psychedelic cult.

I then don't tell the police I haven't had mushrooms in so long.

Oh well, so long. Talk to me in ten months.

That's our plan. Ari gave me some when he did this TV show. I wouldn't trust Ari's mushrooms. I stuck in second. Who knows what's in there? Hiltz He'll put MDMA and acid in your mushrooms and laugh. But they're so old. Oh, they're they're like five years old now and I still have it. You think they're good?

Try. I'll just take a little bit. Take a little bit. Take cap. Yeah. Just walk around the house. Don't tell anybody. Just give everybody hugs.

Clean out the. Yeah, it's clean out the pipes just a little bit to get going, yeah, just connect. Yeah, we're all in it together, gang, we're all in it together. Whatever way you get there. Yes.

You're the best. You're the best. Tom. Papa, you is man. I do miss having you around and miss your. But I'll keep coming. We'll keep doing this. All right. All right. Love you, buddy. Love you too.

Bye, everyone. See you. Thank you, friends, for tune in to the show. And thank you to policy genius. If you are in need of life insurance, head to policy genius dotcom right now to get started, you could save fifty percent or more by comparing quotes policy genius when it comes to insurance. It's nice to get it right. We're also brought to you by Liquid Ivy and they're fantastic hydration products. I take them every single day.

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Joe Rogan, all one word. Thank you, friends. Much love to you all. Bye bye. And big kiss.