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Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. We're back, fellas. Let's go. So much shit to talk about. You see that wild shit that's going on in Scotland where they're targeting comedians for hate crime laws? Yeah, from.

What's his name? Count Dracula.

Well, yeah, that was the same place with that guy Dankula, right?

Count Dankula.

Yeah, Dankula weedhead.

No, he got in trouble for making his dog do a Hitler.

He trained his dog to go high. They were just doing. To fuck with his girlfriend.

German shepherd.

You got in trouble for that?

No, it was a little pug.

Yeah, it was a little pug.

Pull it up.

I think he got arrested. I've done that. They brought him to fucking jail.

You get in trouble. I do that every time I see a dog.

I did it with my friend's kid.

Push his elbow, he does it.

Oh, really?

Please, Scotland, we won't target comedians under new hate crime law. That's what you say now, but stand up shows still come under its scope. Jesus Christ, Scotland, you have one of the biggest fucking comedy festivals on earth.

That's true.

Every year it's a huge comedy festival.

But they're pretty queefy over there.

They will creep it up.

But this is so quiet.

Hate crime, age, disability, religion, sexual orientation.

Fuck.

My whole.

Yeah, everyone's whole act. I was going to say Mary's whole act.

Stirring up hatred on certain grounds.

It's everybody's act.

Sexual orientation, yeah.

What? These are just things that exist. You got to talk about age.

This is so ridiculous.

Wow, Scotland guy.

Is that a real thing? No way.

Training materials based on scottish government's explanatory notes which accompany the legislation, this included examples of a range of scenarios where offenses might take place. But this does not mean officers have been told to target these situations or locations.

But they can't. They want.

Yeah, but if the mugshots are going.

To be hilarious, this is hamming it up. Getting arrested for an AIDS joke.

What's been explained to me by my friends in the UK, specifically, Francis Foster from trigonometry. Trigonometry. He's awesome. He was telling me that this government is, like, on the way out and that they're out of their. Every fucking generation goes this way and then that way, this way, and they go too far left and they go too far right. And so these fucking kooks have decided they're going to target people and put them in jail. Did you hear what happened in Belgium? The dude got a year in jail for memes that were shared. Memes that they shared in a private chat. No.

What?

Yes.

Oh, no.

They gave him a.

Meme.

The memes are nothing.

Wait, we saw the memes.

Yeah, you could see the memes. The memes are online.

They're not that funny.

No, one of them was like a Hitler. One that was like, anti Hitler. It was like an anti Nazi meme. And this is one of the ones that was cited as being one of the offenses. It's in a fucking private chat.

Imagine if I protect our heart before the show started.

Delete our data right now, I think.

The podcast.

Turn the keys.

Yeah. The podcast alone. Yeah.

This is worse than. By the end of this episode, it'll be worse than you think.

That's how it always.

You got to see this.

Look at this kid falling.

I don't remember most of the back half.

You got to see this Belgium story and realize this fucking dumb shit is happening in 2024 with the Internet. 2024? And you're going after people's phones, their private group, private chat?

Well, if everyone's private shit got leaked, we'd all be.

But they go to jail for it, too.

How far are we from being able to listen to anybody talk at any time? The government can already do it. How far is everybody from being able to do that, and everybody assuming that everything you say all the time is being recorded?

Oh, yeah.

Fucked. We're going to be if that happens.

Let's go. You got Alexa in your house. Your phone hears everything.

Yeah, but it's also. It's like, if it was actionable, like, if you start talking about things, like, say, if you're talking about some kind of medication that you can't use or some new law that they're going to pass, that's going to fuck up free speech, whatever it is. If you're talking about that, and then all of a sudden, cops show up, if you're like, I want to kill these motherfuckers. Because people say that shit. You get around a guy and he's drunk, and he makes $50,000 a year, and he sees where his tax money is going to, and he could barely get by, and he's fucking hammering. I want to fucking kill Nancy Pelosi.

They get crazy. People get crazy.

It doesn't mean they're actually going to do it. He's just getting drunk.

He's just drunk.

Other than that guy.

Put that hammer down and listen to me.

I want to kill goes, nope.

That real go getter.

Yeah, that guy was like, nope.

What a wild moment when he looks and sees the cops. He's like, oh, I guess it's now.

Is Paul Pelosi that he only had one hand on the dude because his other hand was on his drink.

Yeah.

How much faith did he have that he can get away with things?

Well, they knew each other.

Clearly they knew each other.

Do you think so?

Oh, yeah.

The guy broke into the house with a hammer.

Seems like Paul was trying to keep it chill.

I don't think they knew each other. No, I think that was the rumor, that he was a gay lover, that's what. No, no.

There's a video of the guy using.

The hammer he hit him in the fucking head with to break into the house, like banging on the back door.

So he sounds like friendship, though.

Exactly.

Does it though? It's just like, I think it's a schizophrenic in your house with a hammer.

You said you wouldn't embarrass me.

Yeah, it's a gay coral. Maybe she sent someone in to whack them. Maybe she thought about half of that 200 million she stole.

She's like, you know what?

This is a horrible video, man. I hate this video.

Come on over.

Because look at him. He's not even looking. And this guy's got a fucking hammer and he's got his hand on the hammer. And then the guy breaks the hammer loose and just bangs him in the head a bunch of times. And no, he hit him more than once. I think when he went down, he hit him again. But the thing is like, he's gnawing now. When you're that old and you get knocked the fuck out like that, that is really bad. I mean, he might not ever be the same again. He got hit in the head with a fucking metal hammer.

Still holding the drink, though.

You're right, bro.

It's crazy.

He only had one hand on that hammer. That is so nuts. It's his superiority, his confidence that he has that everything's going to be fine.

What's his night shirt with the.

It's a big guy, too.

Big crazy looking motherfucker who just broke into your house and he has a hammer.

He'll be on Kiltoni.

He thought that he was going to keep that guy chill until the cops got there. And once the cops got there, he was going to keep him chill. Then they were just going to arrest that guy.

He's like leading him forward too. It's like, come on, come on.

You can't let a guy turn your hand that way, stupid. You're against your thumb. Now. If someone's grabbing something, they try and take it from you. Look, always have something this way.

Wait, that's the David?

Yeah. This is the guy breaking into the house.

So calm.

I know.

He's a fucking psychopath.

I love it so he's so calm.

Pulls out a hammer. Look, he's got like a sleeping bag. He's a fucking crazy homeless dude.

Wow. He got in there pretty easy.

Do you think he had any idea.

As a Pelosi's, does this guy not have top notch security?

I know.

How are you so confident that you could just sleep in that house? Yeah, he could be in your crime infested city. That is so crazy. I mean, that city is infested with crime.

He's so calm.

He looks like the comic book guy from.

He's totally got a plan. And he's also confident no one has a gun.

I like how he pulls out carefully all his tools and then the plan is smash it.

He still can't get in. So he bashes through this fucking door, which took a while, made a lot of noise.

Pretty calm. I would be freaking out.

Sane.

The guy broke that point.

The door with a hammer. Good point. Maybe we missed a whole chunk where the guy just runs up to him and blows him. This is the fantasy. The fantasy was like. And then Pelosi is like, I'm not praying you. The cops are here. You broke my door.

Exactly.

And then he hits it with a hammer. Maybe we're missing context.

Thank God you're here, bro.

That's a horrific video to watch, though.

I won't listen to it.

It's horrible.

It's a horrible thud and then the snoring. Regardless of what you think about them stealing money, that's terrible. That's just terrible. They definitely stole a lot of money.

I follow her stock tips.

That's stock tips. I say stole money. What I should be saying is engaged in insider trading. That's legal.

There you go.

And it's just nuts that it's legal. It's nuts that they could pass laws and they know the laws are coming. And then they buy up stock and then they get paid.

Yeah, but they can't be stopped.

Who's going to stop? They would have to.

Other than a hero hammer. Other than one heroic schizophrenic. I mean, how do you stop them, bro? They make the rules.

They make a weird feeling to know that everybody knows that you got all your money by being a corrupt politician and you're just wandering around.

Yeah, it's like, what are you going to do about it?

Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Listen, the companies needed financial support. We supported them, and we were rewarded for that.

That's also why they probably need to keep making money. Like, they need security.

Lots more and more security.

Higgins going wild.

He did so good. Isn't it funny that Pelosi only gets the blunt of it? Everybody else is doing it, too.

She's the speaker of the House.

She's not. Right. She's the speaker of the House. But look, who's Higgins?

What does this mean?

Like the SP 500?

Hold on. But this is based on the percentage of their returns, right? So maybe Higgins is a new guy that just is in there getting really rich. Pelosi is getting.

Right.

But he's going after it hard.

Look, he's going wild, everybody. This is like the guy wearing the coat in goodfellas.

Take it easy.

Take it back.

Take it.

I'm only here for one term. I'm going to get mine, bro.

That was such a good scene. Such a good scene in good fellows realize they have to kill that guy because he's got a Cadillac.

Get your shine.

No, that was a different defense. He said that lacks context. Insider trading. Viral post leads to claims of insider trading. He says it lacks context. What's the context? Those numbers provide a distorted view of the facts.

Oh, okay.

Tell me more.

I like it.

Tell me more. Sir, what does it say?

Higgins argument is our argument.

See what his statement.

Out of context.

Right.

It's funny that he has to. Here it goes. These numbers provide a distorted view of the facts that a spokesperson for Higgins better, even better move. Use a spokesperson in a statement to seven News. The truth is, Congressman Higgins has minimal investments and holdings in 2023. One position which he had held for years and is held by millions of other people, performed well. Rep. Higgins follows all ethics and financial reporting requirements. Relatively speaking, he is always ranked amongst the most modest income earners in.

Oh, it said he had less than 100 grand in the stocks, so when he went up.

Yeah.

It'S like the Pistons winning two games in a row.

Also, if he has minimal investments and holdings, he just gets lucky and he's.

Got one of them.

Is like Nvidia. The Nvidia is a common one to hold.

He goes, I've had it for years. It doubled.

He definitely jumped up when Nancy Pelosi fucking passed them bills.

Hey, Nancy, you know anything about Nvidia?

Anything?

Chance I can do better. I got a lot of.

Bro, you gotta admire it because it's in front of everybody.

What do they care? I mean, she banged Kennedy. Did she pull that photo up? Yeah, she was super young and hot.

No.

Are you sure she banged him? She just knew him.

Well, I think if you're in Kennedy's.

Orbit, you kind of want to and have to minimum.

Isn't it funny that everybody considers him like our greatest of all time president?

Hey, look at the young hands.

17.

Younger than Monica.

17.

Pablosi.

Wow.

She's 17, Mark, is that right? She's still older than us.

Do you really think JFK was banging 17 year olds?

Yes. Probably 100% wasn't frowned upon.

Is that an insane. Come on, imagine bringing that up in a history class. Imagine being like a history class kids and telling the teacher, you know what I think?

Yeah.

Wasn't he probably, though, banging a lot at 17 year old? Let's get back to the Bay of pigs. Let's talk about that.

It's kind of crazy, but to be like the leader of a country like that, it's almost like a prerequisite. You have to be a poonhound. That's the only reason why you have the ambition to get to that spot in the first place.

Yeah, and up until Clinton it was just you kind of made fun of the girls.

And if you're not and you get into that like now, I'm skeptical. Like, what's your motive? Yeah, war and money or pussy? I'll take the guy who just wants pussy every day of the week. It seems like the best ones. Clinton, when he was president.

Trump.

Trump for sure.

Obama won a dick.

That's allegedly.

Allegedly.

But our favorite is JFK. And he's like the known biggest poonhound. The known biggest.

What about those older guys, the drawn guys? You think any of them were poonhounds? Yeah.

Which ones? Like the old. The ones that got timey guys.

Yeah, the ones that were drawn, not photographed.

What about the guy in the wheelchair.

Back in the drawing days? You could do.

You're not going to be here long enough for someone to sketch.

You could kill a lady.

You could kill.

Just go to the next town, kill everybody.

And then they asked, did you kill?

We're moving to Annapolis. Sorry, Philly. And they did it again. He goes, we gotta. Let's go further.

What were their investigations? Yeah, you know, did you kill? Sounds good.

Yeah, just evidence.

God, the lawyers back then, it's like I just lost the witch trials. I'm your new attorney. Damn it.

That is the worst lawyer of all time.

How did you lose that? Trials. The witch trials are the wildest shit.

They're witches. I got nothing.

They even give you a lawyer back then. That's like pretty new, but they have to give you a lawyer. You're just like. I can read. You can't. Good luck with your trial.

I think mostly they drowned them, too. It wasn't really a burning thing. The burning thing is kind of a misnomer, right? Is that right, Mark?

I don't know.

The drowning thing they used to do, they definitely drowned them, right? They had this thing where they would put you in, like lock you to a chair and throw you in a pond. And then they'd be like, if she's a witch, she's going to get out, right? No one ever got out.

If she's a witch, she would just leave.

If they floated, they were proven to be a witch. If they drowned, too bad, but at least they weren't a witch. This type of test was also a myth carried over from eastern early european history.

Oh, no.

It's just like the burning at the stake now. They're interesting.

They're just cunts.

Well, that's not true, though. I guarantee they burned some people alive. They definitely burned some people alive.

They definitely. What if they didn't have a lake near them?

Listen, man, they killed people in horrific ways and just lied about it when they wrote it down afterwards. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of that.

Museum of torture in Amsterdam I went to. That rules. It's just like this pyramid that you're supposed to let a guy put his ass on.

That's a good way to go.

That's a good one.

Was a coffin with the spikes in it. And they close it on you.

Well, that fucking paler guy. So the witch trials in Salem consisted mainly of a physical examination for the.

Witch'S test, which is teet.

Oh, what is that? Which the Puritans believe was a sort of third nipple from which witches familiar would suck blood. Oh, my God. Woe be unto a woman with skin tags or a weird mole.

Damn, you got skin tag. You're getting your head cut off.

Surprisingly modern language on that. A weird mole.

They think of familiar sucking blood. Out of your third tip.

You know how those ended, the witch trials? Some lady was like, you're a witch. And everybody went, ah. And that was it. Ended because they were getting annoyed with how she was just calling everybody she hated a witch.

Well, you know how it started.

Fifth one, it started with, ergot.

They had early frost. When you have an early frost, sometimes.

I saw you. Nasty.

He knows the story. No, it says it's a myth.

No, you can see that at the bottom.

Wait a minute. But they've proven that ergot was in wheat during that time.

It's just saying during then.

Massachusetts, what's ergot?

When you win all five.

Let Jamie talk so I can hear what he's saying. Let Jamie talk so I can hear. Massachusetts would not have had that problem, but I don't know why. It says they would have known how.

To fix it by then.

Yeah, but they found evidence. Ergot. But the problem is they found evidence. Find that because I know they found one of the reasons why they came up with this theory in the first place. They found evidence of ergot.

What's Ergot?

It's like a fucking fungus that grows on wheat and it makes people trip balls like acid.

It had that in here for sure.

There was one that happened in France where a bunch of people died. Yeah, it's actually the thing that they found in those vessels that show that the Romans and the ancient Greek were doing those psychedelic rituals. They found these pottery vessels that have ergon in them.

Is it available anymore?

Ergon, I think is still available, but it's super toxic too. It kills people.

The theory that went popular was started in a 1976 edition of Science magazine where it talked about the ergot theory.

But as of now they think that it is not probably true.

Interesting.

But why do they leave it open not true. When they start dismissing psychedelic stuff, I'm always like, how do you know for sure?

For sure.

Because if Ergot does exist and ergot is a thing that grows on weed ruled it out. And it's really, if a bunch of people are just fucking freaking out about things, fascinate the cultural fascination of LSD during this period. What does it say?

70S. So this theory came out in the 70s.

It said, so people theory came out. So when people started using acid, theory came out. See, I was under the impression that there was actual evidence of ergot and like samples that they got. I'm looking for that too.

That's why I found this. By typing in evidence of ergot.

I might be mixed up because I know they found evidence.

I've heard this.

Yeah, I've heard it, but I'm not sure if it's true. But I know they found evidence for sure in these ancient pottery vessels. So they know these people that were involved in the illusinian mysteries and all that shit that was going down in Greece 2000 plus years ago. They were trapping balls.

This says it led to this theory being put into school curriculums as an.

Explanation for the no way school curriculums taught that.

I don't know that they have actual.

Evidence of it other than being passed on. I think I'm done with acid. We got mushrooms. I don't need acid anymore.

I'm the opposite. You like acid more, way more into acid lately.

What?

Control it?

No.

Smooth.

Smooth.

It's a chemical.

You're not hitting the floor, bro.

You are trusting bathtub chemists with your sanity.

Yeah, exactly.

You are the most trustworthy.

The CIA is writing this down right now and they're like, dose Ari Shafir with the good stuff. The stuff we used on Jack Ruby also, it's liquid.

You can put it on paper. You can get on your hand, cheeseburgers in.

It's so good.

That's going to be too.

You think seeps in your hands?

I don't think it seeps in.

No, it definitely does. That's how the original. Yeah, that's how. What's his face, Leary?

I have touched it a lot with my bare hands. I've never gotten anything while I'm moving it.

What was the name of Albert Hoffman? That's how Albert Hoffman discovered it. He was actually looking. It was a women's fertility drug they were working on.

But wasn't it still wet?

It was to induce labor.

Was it dried in or was it still wet?

I think he just got it on his hands.

I mean, when you think.

And he had a crazy dose apparently, and then went on a bike ride and this dude just tripping balls.

We went to a festival in western Georgia a couple years ago, and somebody was testing all the coke. Like, we got to test it first. And we're like, I thought that meant to try it, but they were like chemically tested like a fence. They're like 100% pure. Buy coke from that guy. And then later they went to get acid from this chick on a bus.

And they were like, tested it.

0% acid in that.

What was it?

Some sort of like liquid mescaline. And then the guy who had it was like, it was freshly dipped. It's all over my hands. And he just started flying.

Well, stories I know as a music.

Engineer of this being true because of.

The guy that made acid was a.

Grateful dead engineer half a century.

The guy who made acid.

One of the guys.

Oh, a guy who made it.

Like, one of the guys.

Oh, the guys. Right, okay, so not only is LSD absorbed through the skin on contact, but it can apparently stay potent for half a century.

Wow.

San Francisco sound engineer Elliot Curtis found that out for himself when he was fixing a 1960s synthesizer and then tripped for 9 hours straight, completely unaware that the device had been encrusted with decades old LSD. That's definitely a story.

That guy took acid and made up a story, bro.

Yeah, or somebody painted their. Imagine if you leave a synthesizer and you know, I'm going to paint this bitch with acid.

Someone's eventually going to touch this.

Someone's going to get their greasy fucking hands on it. Doesn't just go see God.

Well, the old myth is Manson dipped a bunch of bible pages in acid and then brought a bible into prison that would just eat it every day.

Well, Manson was in touch with jolly West. Jolly west visited Manson when he was in prison. Jolly west was the head of mkultra, and they did lsd experiments on people. And that's the primary theory in the book chaos. Chaos by this guy, Tom O'Neill.

They made him crazy.

Simmons, budy, do you know Fitzsimmons was next door neighbors to this guy, was writing his book on the Manson family murders for like 20 years. That's Tom O'Neill. The book's insane. So this jolly west guy visited Manson when he was in jail, visited Jack Ruby when he was in prison, and Jack Ruby went nuts.

Wait, before they did the thing?

Yeah, before they did the thing. Look, I think what it was was they were trying to get rid of the anti war movement, and they were trying to get rid of the civil rights movement, and they were trying to get rid of a bunch of different things that were going on at the same time. And one of the ways they did it was to a make all drugs illegal. But one of the best ways to make all drugs illegal and discredit the hippies is dose up a bunch of them and get it to murder people in horrific ways. And then all of a sudden, the hippies become the most dangerous force in America. And if you've got the power of the media behind you and you push that narrative and you make it know you're essentially waging war on american civilians, you're essentially waging, like, a psychological war on the population that's paying your salary. It is a wild thing they did, but they definitely did it.

Damn.

Yeah. CIA is fucking lame.

They have too much power. Like, all groups that have too much power, you're going to do some wacky shit.

The Dulles brothers. They can kick rocks as far as I'm concerned.

Who's that?

Dulles airport?

Yeah, that's them.

They might be involved in the assassination of Ken.

They probably killed JFK.

Oh, shit.

I think there was a lot of people involved in that. I think that guy was. He was tossing up the apple card a little too much.

Too much.

They were like, uhoh. Too many people. And back then again, this is just 50 years past the drawing of people. You go to fucking look for a photo from 1890. Good luck, bitch. So see, here you are 60, 70 years later. That's nothing. And then you're dealing with one president that's going to get rid of the fucking Federal Reserve. Shut the fuck up.

You are.

What the fuck is this guy doing? And then he's going to get in a convertible and drive through Texas where they hated him. In Texas.

Pretty ballsy.

Suddenly it's a convertible.

But they hated him in Texas.

Great headshot.

They hated him in Texas. Like, Texas was red.

Oh, yeah.

He's driving through Dallas. They hated him.

You ever go to the x in Dallas?

Yeah, go see it.

Isn't it weird how little it is? Like the.

Yeah, yeah.

Anybody who says you couldn't make that shot is out of their fucking minds. Out of their fucking minds. All the arguments that he couldn't make that shot are so stupid.

You think, didn't he get. He got three off pretty quick, though, right?

Here's the thing.

And he missed one by like a mile.

It doesn't mean even that that was him. It doesn't mean that. It just means he was in that building.

I like it. We're back on the same page.

The thing about it is. The thing about it is, they made.

Up on the count of 3123, and then everyone just shot bum, bum, bum.

No, they did something like that. They saw him. They probably all had a signal. Something happened. Maybe an umbrella right next to them. If they're going to shoot the fucking president.

No, there's a guy open an umbrella for.

No, that's nonsense. I've seen that.

It's just a guy opening.

Some people think his fucking bodyguard shot him. It's a whole secret Service guy shot him. Look, there was probably a bunch of people shooting at him. He got hit in the neck for sure.

He grabs his neck from the front.

Yeah, from the front. He grabs his neck. They altered it. When they got to the second autopsy, they did two autopsies. They got his body initially in Dallas, and then they flew it to Bethesda. So in the interim, they changed what was list that as an entry hole in his neck to a tracheotomy.

And they say it's just like a.

Lot of shenanigans between the two autopsies. They wouldn't let him do it.

They took the body.

General showed up. It was heavy duty shit.

All people, they're like, he's got to go.

The best book on this is best evidence by a guy named David Lifton, who was an accountant. They hired him to go over the Warren commission report. And he went, no, I'm sorry, back into the left. So this guy goes over this. Nobody would read the whole Warren commission report. It's like fucking 900 pages. Oh, yeah, this dude read all of it. He read all of it and found all these inconsistencies, all these things that didn't make sense. Yeah. And so he writes his book about it.

His research was just reading.

No one went to start doing. A lot of people died, dude. A lot of people that saw the assassination died in weird ways.

Bobby, too.

Like a giant number of people that were on the scene.

Really?

Yeah, weird ways. Like they did a statistical analysis of what are the likelihood of all these people being either murdered or suicide within a short period of time. And it was very low.

Well, thank God for Zapruder. He was like the original world.

He was the guy. Yeah, world star.

He was out there filming.

God, he had his fucking.

And isn't it crazy that we know about this because of Dick Gregory?

Is that right?

Dick Gregory, the comic brought on the Geraldo Rivera show. We know about this because of Geraldo and Dick Gregory.

I didn't know that.

Yes. They played it live on TV and it's fucking. You got to imagine that was twelve years after the assassination.

You know, Dick Gregory completely stopping a comic to become a full time activist.

Yeah, he started that right around here.

Right around here. He's going through here.

Playbook has been followed right here.

He gets hit. Boom. He's hit.

Is he?

Yes.

Oh, the neck.

He's hit. Now he knows something's going on.

Wife does nothing. Thank you.

I mean, he literally got shot in the neck. I mean, he's already probably dead.

It seems pretty serious. But now watch this one.

This is a rough one.

This is why I'm voting for RFK.

Oh, he's spewing.

Yeah, I mean, his head exploded.

Head just blew.

His head exploded.

And she's like, oh, now is this.

An AI enhancement of this Jamie Mo and sharpened version? How come nobody's thrown this approeter film into AI to clean this shit up.

Good point, bro.

That is pretty clean.

The wildest video.

Can we see that again?

He got definitely head blow.

Head blow is tough.

You're right. He's probably already dead. He got hit through the neck with a bull.

He's already dead. He's dead.

He just hasn't died yet.

Wait a minute. Oh, she's lucky she didn't get in the way.

Slow that down again. And then she again.

Freaks the fuck out.

Holy shit.

Shit.

Who's that guy behind? Who's the guy behind, though?

Too bad he got.

Everybody's freaking out. There's gunshots going on.

She has something to do with it.

This lady.

She had something to do with it. Yeah, it's a hot cheese there with no man.

Here's what's interesting. Here's what's interesting. The spray goes forward, but the head goes backwards.

Yeah.

The head goes back into the left. But it doesn't really.

It does because you open up a hole and it sprays out and then you go back.

Right. But it generally doesn't go that way. It goes the other way.

What? Behind?

The bullet goes through and then sprays out the back.

Did the bullet get out the back?

It could be more than one person hitting him in the head at the same time, too.

We're starting off heavy. What happened to a hello?

You have to consider, there's probably multiple gunners in the grassy knoll. They're not going to take a chance when they're going to assassinate the president. They're going to have multiple dudes shooting. Yeah, that's brain, bro.

That's brain.

They said that she climbed. It's crazy. The news report initially said that she climbed out to try to retrieve parts of her husband's brain. That is just not true.

Didn't they say she brought it to the hospital?

I don't know.

I heard that she had, like, in her pocket climb.

She did. Look, she went and grabbed something and then went back.

She maybe did grab a piece in full shot.

Apparently she brought it to the hospital.

It is a good one.

Tried to give it to back in.

Can you put that?

Yeah.

Imagine if they can do that. Just glue your brains back together.

They can do it with teeth.

Like a Justin Bobber.

Same thing.

Teeth of the brain of the.

Such a wild.

Hey, if we're doing this, what happened to the Boeing guy?

The Boeing guy realized that he's a piece of shit. Tell me what.

Yeah, we did figure that out.

Yeah, we talked about it on stage. The Boeing guy realized. The guy who committed suicide realized that he did a terrible thing by accusing a company of cutting corners. And he felt embarrassed, he felt stupid, that he shamed this great company that has done so well for all of us. How many times have we flown on a Boeing plane?

And he did.

The Boeing planes are amazing. He knew it. And he was like, what have I done? So he killed himself.

But the wheels are falling off, doors are coming off. Planes are fucked.

Allegedly. Boeing whistleblower told friend not to believe suicide before he died. Oh, Christ.

Hey, if somebody says, I killed myself, that means I didn't kill myself. Anytime you hear that, though, you're like, are you about to kill yourself, though?

What an OD thing to say. But it's not if you're Julian Assange.

Yeah, right.

If you really think they're going to.

Whack you, that's what what's his name said, too. McAfee.

Yeah. A lot of those guys.

McAfee is a wild boy. Pat McAfee is going because he gets the chief.

John McAfee was one of the only.

Guys that I just had on the phone.

I didn't even have him live on the podcast. I had him on the phone. We did a podcast with him when he was running from the law in his country because someone, he says they set him up by killing his neighbor. But he was also allegedly online showing people how to cook meth. There was an account that was linked to him that was like, he had a lab in his backyard. I mean, it's documented. This dude had a fucking full on. He was a genius billionaire with a full on meth lab. He created McAfee antiviral software.

Hell, yeah.

He's rich as fuck.

He had Deus sex. McAfee.

Where was he? In Belize? Was he in Belize, Jamie? It's a wild story. See if you can find the story of his meth life.

He was in Belize, this boy. We had him on our podcast.

Did you really want to have people?

Did you have him live?

Zoom?

Yeah, there he is. That's amazing.

When was this?

What year was this?

This was during COVID He's like a John Goodman character.

He's so crazy.

He was so funny on this.

He was so crazy. But also really was in charge of antivirus software. He's a real genius. Yeah.

And he was on everyone's computer.

And what he said is that he gives. You donated them computers. Here, have some computers. And he had, like, malware in. At the government. So he gave them, like, 50 laptops, and they're like, okay, that's what he says.

I mean, that's how they do it.

I mean, that's how I would do it if I was him.

That's how we did it. We sold, like, spy technology to our allies.

That's why Huawei. Yeah, that's why Huawei phones. Huawei phones are, like, the most sophisticated phones in the world.

What was the alien movie? That's how they beat them at the end.

He was making various types of baths.

Independence Day.

Independence Day. That's how they put them.

He says, I think it's the finest drug ever conceived. He wrote one singling out the indescribable hypersexuality of the super perv powder. But warning that I had visual and auditory hallucinations and the worst paranoia of my life. That guy. That guy had the worst paranoia of his life.

Well, Hitler liked it.

Why he's so clean cut there. But he's so different when Matt and Shane got to him, by the time.

He fell off to me and Matt.

So when we had a podcast with him, he was on the run.

Look at that.

What a. This nerd. He made himself a friend.

You know what, man? Something I admire, it doesn't like him. He's, like, drowning.

You're a nerd.

I kind of admire that. I admire the billionaire who goes totally off the rails. He just lived only with prostitutes. Had only prostitutes.

Is he the one that women shit through a hammock out to his chest?

Yes. We asked him about it.

All right? Now I'm off the team.

Wait, tell me about the shitting.

Apparently, he was having ladies shit through a hammock on him.

And he was like.

He was like, do I ask you about your sexual proclivities? And we're like, yeah, you asked us if we were gay. Right away he was like, did he.

Tell you the story?

He was awesome. Now he was like, if that makes you uncomfortable, I've done way more. Matt was like, from, like, higher hammocks, so the splat was bigger. It was so good. Dude, what a psycho.

Don't you love the fact that there's a guy like that running around?

I want more.

Unless you're his neighbor.

Office. Yeah. True killed you. Got to sell your property.

I was like, shit again.

I think they were framing the boy.

They might have been. Or he might have been on that fucking hypersexuality.

He might have been on the drugs he said he was on, and he's like, drugs?

Let's get rid of him, bro.

He's a guy doing meth who's heavily.

Armed being shit on.

Yeah, who cares what happens there?

Allegedly, he got a bunch of, like, armed. He just started building an army.

Yeah, he was off the bros also. He's like, how come this guy gets to have an army?

He got suicided in Spain.

Boeing.

Yeah, I think so.

He got suicide. I think he was.

When he tweeted, he was like, if I die, I didn't do it.

Meanwhile, he's on a pound of crank.

Yeah, he might go. He could go at any moment.

He had one of them fucking Garmin watches on it. It'd be like, 197 a minute.

After tweeting that, he goes, oh, but now we could blame them if I did do it, bro. Oh, that's a good idea.

Red line his fucking heart. He could have red lined his heart. He's 80 years old doing crank beast. How old was the guy when he died?

89. No, he was. No way he was 89.

He's in methed up. Seventy s. I bet he was methed up. 70s is like 95.

Yeah, he looked good.

Damn.

He was like 70 when we interviewed methed up.

70S is like him. Pro athletes, when they're 35, their knees are fucked.

Or a fat guy's heart.

Yeah, that's a rough one.

Fat guys get two seats on the plane.

They knowing finally they get a free people.

They got two going back to coach it out.

They're free.

Stretch it out. Yeah, that's a weird one. That guy's an interesting fucking character. He would be a great movie. In the movie, have him kill his neighbor, too.

Fuck, yeah. You got to decide, let's kill the.

Neighbor, and you got to get the hammock.

The neighbor probably sucked.

Yeah, because they were awesome because they only mowed the glass.

Hey, the neighbor do something to his dog, too?

That's what I heard.

What? Yeah, the neighbor did something to his dog.

Maybe killed one of his dogs.

That's what I'm saying.

Then you got to go full John Wick.

It was cool when John Wick did it.

Yeah, that's how you do it.

Exactly.

Kill my dog.

Imagine hurting Carl.

Yeah, I would never shoot my neighbor.

Yeah, what use be like?

They killed my dog.

Not just meth, but meth armed guard meth he engineered in a fucking lab he built on his property. Break that he documented online. He wanted the community to know about this meth lab. He wanted them to know about how proficient his meth lab was and how fucking really scientifically accurate. Everything. He was measuring everything perfectly. And beakers and all this shit. He documented it all. It's awesome fucking meth lab in Belize. You call it bath salts all day, but what it is is that's just engineered meth. That's what bath salt was.

They took bath salt, not engineered.

It's just different. There's different things that you can do to a compound, so it's not exactly the same compound. He made his own math, like, five methoxy. Dimethyl tryptamine was legal for a while because it wasn't technically dimethyptamine, it's even stronger than. So they add an oxygen molecule to it.

This is better than meth.

If you can engineer meth. If you're a super genius who makes fucking software that can stop viruses, I bet you can figure out how to.

Make some killer meth.

Yeah, and this dude cooked up some fine shit, apparently.

Damn.

Yeah.

Makes you want to try it.

I'd give it a shot.

That seems like the best way to get into the thing is, I have.

A feeling you never want to go back to normal.

Yeah, like flying first class.

That was one of the things that lady said. The lady in the FTX. The lady in the FTX trial, she was talking about how being on amphetamines all the time makes you realize how normal sober interaction, how fucking boring they are. And she tweeted it.

I would take adderall at work when I was. It was great. Taking Adderall. I was working like customers. I was the front desk talking to people. I was like, hey, I was nice whacked.

So he got whacked.

That's dollar sign whacked.

So he got whacked for money. Is that what it means?

He's saying. This is when he said, like, case.

If I suicide myself, I didn't. Okay, we're going to. Getting subtle messages from U. S. Officials saying, in effect, we're coming for you, McAfee. We're going to kill it. Yeah, it's an interesting way to say it. I got a tattoo today just in case if I suicide myself. I didn't. I was whacked. Check my right arm. So what happened to him, though? Was it a suicide or was it something else?

Was he in spanish prison?

He was in prison. He was just about to be extradited when he was found supposedly hanging. His wife claimed that shouldn't have happened, but when looked into it, the spanish authorities said suicide.

Of course they did.

Of course that's what they were paid to say.

That's what the muscle suicide.

So you're getting a tattoo saying, hey, if it comes out that I'm dead, it's because somebody killed me. And instead you got an artful schwacked.

Yeah, it looks nice.

You could do it nice. Don't talk shit nice.

I do want that swag later.

Let's look at this logically. Why would the government kill him?

That's what I don't get.

Why don't we have fun?

He knew too much about.

What did he do?

All the malware? Come on, man. NSA, Massad, they all got the.

So what do you think it is? You think he found some stuff out when he was like.

I think he was like one of the architects of that type of thing.

I think he probably fucked with them and they were like, don't fuck with us. Why'd you give us malware? Now we're going to fuck with.

I'm going to tell everybody he's on meth. He's going. I'm going to tell everybody that he's talking shit.

We're spying on our own allies.

They like to talk on meth.

And if he really did have all their stuff, that is a crime. Like, if you really did install malware and get top secret shit, they'll kill you for that. They might not even bother taking you.

Soon after joining the Ben MGMt, McAfed said he and his team exploited a flaw in the Android operating system that allowed him to read encrypted messages from WhatsApp.

Whoa.

Oh, he could read Moto investigated reported he had sent reporters malware infected phones to make this hack work.

Whoa, you can't ruin his reputation either.

Of course the phones had malware on them. He said how that malware got there is the story which we will release after speaking with Google.

Good for you. It involves a serious lead on reading architecture. Crazy move.

Look at this. It involves a serious flaw in the Android architecture. What is that flaw?

I just wanted to make the mgmt joke.

Go back to that, Jimmy. Go back to that. It says McAfee moved Mgt to mining of bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Oh, he's a criminal.

Yeah, he rules.

It's like when Suge Knight said he stuck easy on Kimmel. Oh, yeah, pretty much he was know there's lots of ways to kill somebody. You might just like, hire someone to stick them with a needle, with fucking aids. You know what I'm talking about? And everyone in the audience like, what, though?

He did that on Jimmy Kimmel.

Yeah, Jimmy Kim was wearing a flak jacket, bro.

How wild. Jimmy Kimmel had Suge Knight on.

It was cool. Kimmel, right?

You can get canceled today for having Kristalia on your podcast.

Yeah.

I mean, you fucking. Imagine bringing Suge knight on.

Yeah.

Dude hung vanilla ICE off a balcony.

Was it vanilla ICE?

Yeah, he just ran over a guy by his ankles. Ran over a guy and killed him on video.

Jeff Ross frightened.

Look at him. Terrified.

Terrified.

This is back then.

Yeah.

Kimmel had no one back then. This was a get.

Yeah. He's pretty much saying, I fucking. It's a wild with AIDS. That's why it progressed.

So that's a wild conversation.

Suge Knight looks like Kimmel. That's Carl Malone.

Oh, my God, he does. Oh, my God, he does. You nailed it. Oh, my God, he does.

Is that Leguizamo?

Is it? Yeah.

Imagine Leguizamo is the first guest before Suge Knight. Who gives a fuck about some actor? They shoot you with it. Oh, slow death, easy thing. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Damn.

Way to fight in the mood. Wow. Well, Wally takes a puff of his cigar with his.

He's got a murderer security system.

I don't know why that. Oh, you remember those days when there was like a number or a color rather, going out? Let's go to the store. It's yellow. Let's go do stand up. We're going to stay home if it's orange.

What a great fucking orange. I'm not going anywhere, bro.

What a great way to make everyone stay home on a day they needed them to.

Well, what a great way to test how you could freak people out. How quickly we forgot about those colors. That was a weird one. The color system for terrorism after 911. Oh, yeah, they tried it. They tried it and we were like, come on, Jiffy.

Get the email saying, avoid the mall on October 21, date there's going to be an attack on a mall.

That's just the jewish emails. You guys got secret emails on that list.

That's why you're tunneling.

Yeah, get under the heads up.

You never got those in the couple of years after there's intel is going on this day in a mall or in this day.

I got an Amber Alert today. Do you guys get that?

Texas goes wild with Amber Alert.

Yeah.

You know what I don't miss about a really depressing way to start the forest fires. Oh, yeah, the fires were crazy in California. You ain't never seen anything like it.

They're here now.

Yeah, bullshit. Listen, they're bad, but they're not bad like it is in LA because it doesn't rain. Know, they have those things like the colors for fires with the fire warning, it was always red. It was always red. It's not red for, like, three months out of the.

Do not smoke a cigarette on Laurel.

Canyon if you're an asshole.

Do not.

These fucking assholes that throw cigarettes out the window when they're done with them. These littering cocksuckers.

You're not even allowed to smoke in your car with the windows up on the way up Laurel Canyon.

You're not.

Yeah. When it's like, don't because it just.

Goes up in a blaze. So I was coming home one night. I got evacuated three times when I lived in California. Three fucking times. But I was coming home one night and the whole side of the highway. I was coming home from fear factor. The whole side of the highway for an hour was on fire.

You sent us pictures from your flip phone, bro. It was just like, one side of the highway fire, one side, green.

It was madness. It was like a scene from the fucking. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. It was like a scene from fucking a hobit movie.

Do you think? Where are we even going? Why are we driving that way?

Lord of the Ring, apocalyptic.

Dude, this was not nearly as bad as 405. This is the 405. This is headed to Santa Monica, but this is much more contained than what I saw. What I saw was an hour of driving, a full hour going like 40 miles an hour. 50 miles an hour.

Were you hot?

No, but it was raining ashes, like snow. So you were seeing ashes fall out of the sky, like snow the whole right side of the highway. And, dude, sometimes that shit jumps. You get a crosswind, it jumps. It hits a car. It gets other cars. There was in northern California, a whole highway full of stopped cars. Everybody died.

Yikes.

Everybody got consumed by fire. Look at this shit, dude.

What are they doing? Where are you going?

You are praying, Donald Trump, please help us. Please save us.

Jesus Christ. And you don't know where the fire is. You're just guessing. It's not like fire might be going right to it.

Well, you still got to be.

You don't know. You don't know where you're driving. You can't see. This is a windy road.

This is some poor uber eats driver. He's like, I'm going to get there, bro.

This is so nuts, man. This is so nuts.

Oh, man.

So this is what I don't miss. And I know they have fires out here, but, bro, you ain't never seen fires like those dry climate, high grasses. And the worst is when it rains a lot early in the year because then you get extra grass, and then it always dies off. When it stops rain, everything turns brown.

But it's natural fires, right? Like, it's supposed to happen.

Somebody lit off one behind pink dot behind my old window. You saw it start just there. It's like a straight up hill with, like. And it just gone. Gone within, like 20 minutes. It goes from, like, a little, like one bush on fire burns through the houses.

Yikes.

There was one time in LA when we were at the store and above, pink dot was on fire.

That was it.

Was that with it?

Yeah. Was that why?

But was that with the one where we were, like, seeing the helicopters fly overhead and they were trying to dump water on it? Planes were dumping water on it. It was nuts. It was like a war was going on right above the saw. I was right up that hill. Yeah.

I was in Salt Lake. I was driving to Stanhopes down in, like. It was crazy. I was driving. You could watch the helicopters picking up the water out of the lake and flying over the highway and dropping it on the mountain. That was on fire.

Wow.

Then I got to the fucking grand Canyon, and it had just burned for real, like 2 hours straight. It was just the moon. Like, there was no vegetation. It was just stumps. Everything was black. It was crazy.

Yikes.

It was crazy. Those forest fires are wild.

That's such a wake up call to how vulnerable we really are. That was the one time where people in LA were cool. Like, everybody was so cool after the fires. I was like, hi. Good to see you. Happy to be alive, dude.

You remember in New York when fucking.

Canada caught on fire?

That's how crazy those, you know, the.

Conspiracy theory about that.

They popped up pretty. Just saying, I don't know.

Whole Manhattan was full of ash and dark.

Conspiracy is the color of. The color of the smoke was strange, and it coincided with there was a shipment that was lost. The shipment that was lost somewhere was some kind of chemical, and this chemical, it was toxic chemical, and there was a high volume of it, and it was lost. And then all of a sudden, these fires break out in Canada, and this fucking orange smoke is making its way across New York. Weird smoke. Like a weird color smoke. Now, that could be. I'm a moron. That could be the sun. The way it goes to the fucking sun. I've never seen orange smoke before.

It was orange. I was in Montauk. It looked weird.

Nor has anybody that I know ever seen, like, that kind of orange.

They told everybody to change every filter in your car.

Whoa.

It was like emails.

Did anybody do like an analysis of the smoke and go, what the fuck is this?

No.

Was it just smoke or did something burn somewhere that was toxic?

Never done a smoking.

I was doing shows at the comedy podcast.

You were doing shows? Walking around that shit?

I didn't know. I woke up late.

It was only.

Could you tell on the ground?

The first day, I was like, am I fucking this hungover that?

It's like one day it was cloudy.

Everything's hazy.

Yeah, right.

But did it look orange?

Not until day two or three.

Day two or three?

Yeah, it changed every day. Right.

See it coming? It was crazy. Like, at first it was just slightly smoggy. You were like, I don't know. I remember driving in, being like, this is fucking weird. Am I dumb? Because no one's mentioning anything. And I was like, it's fucking weird out, right?

Yeah.

And then by the most, like, the height of. It was fucking insane. It was just orange.

It was like Ghostbusters.

Come on, that seems weird.

It was scary.

It was weird.

Isn't that weird? Look at the color.

02:00 p.m. 02:00 p.m. Look at that.

It's like Rachel Dole is all.

I'm not a chemist, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know anything about smog color, but that seems highly unusual.

It's unusual.

It's super unusual. I'm just going to say that there's conspiracy theories that are warranted.

Toronto didn't get it nearly as bad as New York.

Well, it's because it was coming down towards us.

Jamie, can you flip through these faster?

Yeah, why don't you move quick?

Jesus.

How about it was only orange in the one photo? Only take two.

It was orange for a lot.

Neuro gums.

Don't.

Oh, yeah, guys can't look.

Old eyes.

Old eyes.

How dare you, young Jamie.

Jamie, you're being so nasty today.

You tried that earlier.

Why are you hostile today? Young Ari?

Could you hand me a beer, please?

There we go.

Sure, Shane.

You'll sure fit, Shane.

Hey, I've heard about. There's these things, Shane. There's these things called Lucy's you've ever.

Oh, I know about Lucy's.

That has twelve milligrams. Lucy.

Breakers.

They have twelve milligrams. This is six.

Oh, you don't want that. Twelve, that's too much.

Six.

Don't say that.

When you say that. I want two in my mouth.

Is that from Tucker?

I don't like how you talk. You can't handle fucking gas station.

You're 4212 milligrams will put you on the boat.

I think it's a weight thing.