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So, Jamie, I'm sending you these things right now. You want to feel like a lazy piece of shit?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

This is what me and Ari were sending each other last night. This is all the fish concert at the sphere.

Oh, fish is a fascinating thing, dude, the graph.

You know the sphere in Vegas? That giant globe?

Yes.

The whole ceiling is all LCD or led. What kind of screen is it?

Led.

Whatever the best shit is. Yeah, it's like a billion dollar building. Yeah, but the screens on the ceiling. So fish utilizes these for all these, like, crazy, trippy, psychedelic images. And so while the show was going on, people were just like, it's like the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Look at this.

That's the ceiling. Awesome.

That's the ceiling.

Oh, that's great. Doing cruise and then going to that show. What a party.

I mean, they're doing a residency, so I guess they're doing six sphere shows. Check out some of the other ones I sent you, Jamie. Cause I sent you quite a few. They're all different. One of them is a dog. A dog's, like, licking, like, licking the screen.

I need to see this. I did not know how big fish was. I didn't know it was big at all. But they have such a massive cult following.

They do.

They sell out everywhere.

Yeah, it's like the dead. It's basically the same. It's like a new generation of the Grateful Dead.

And growing up, I was aware of the Grateful Dead fish. I was doing a show in Atlantic City, and then the guy that was booking was like, I don't know, man. It's tough. Fish is here this weekend, the whole city. And I was like, what? Fish p. The one with the fish. Ph.

Fish.

And he was like, yeah, they're huge. And then people follow them.

I had a buddy of mine. His girlfriend was really into fish. I just didn't get it.

Yeah.

I've never heard a single thing.

What are you talking about? Like, what's the big deal? Like, look at this one.

Holy shit.

Isn't this insane?

Awesome.

It's insane.

Now even hearing this in the headphones, that feels awesome. And looking on this screen.

Yeah.

And apparently there's not a bad seat in the house. And one of the guys from Fish was doing an interview about it, and he was saying, essentially, like, every seat is incredible because every seat, you. You see the sky and you see this. You see fireworks. And it's just fucking amazing.

This is awesome.

So they're doing a UFC there in September, and I have no. Look at the dog.

Oh, that's so sick, dude. That's so sick.

Isn't that amazing?

Yeah.

What's going to be on the screen?

You have 300.

Is Max Holloway knocking you out with 2 seconds left in the fight?

1 second.

Yeah.

1 second.

Yeah. It's gonna be all kinds of shit. I mean, they're. They're essentially planning for that different than they've ever planned for any other event. Dana told me they've already spent $9 million preparing for September's event.

That's so sick. So tickets are gonna be nuts for that. ISIS.

It's gonna be nuts. Yeah. It's gonna be a nutty event. And I don't think they're gonna do more than one of them. I think they're only gonna do one. Cause the idea is it's so expensive to do, and there's so much involved.

In preparing for it, but it's an investment, so you're gonna get it back. Has anybody written a book on Dana building the UFC? You would know. I would not. I'm very much casual. But just. I remember being, like, 13, seeing the UFC commercials, and it didn't. It seemed like this fringe thing, and now it's this massive mainstream thing. And I don't want to give all the credit to one person, but it seems like he's the one.

A lot of it. A lot of it goes to him.

Yeah.

If it wasn't for him, it just wouldn't be the same thing. You have to have a maniac running that organization. He's a maniac.

He's a maniac, but a genius maniac.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. He's literally born for that job. Yeah, it's perfect. He's the perfect guy for that job.

My cameraman was telling me this morning, Kevin shouts at Kevin. He films and edits all my stuff. He's a big UFC fan. He said, dana put out, like, a three minute video after UFC 300 of a bunch of people criticizing the fight card on UFC 300. And I was like, dude, that's the thing that you need, that Jordan. Michael Jordan has that thing. Dana White has that thing. Dave Portnoy has that thing where it's like, I remember everybody that ever insulted me, fuck you. No matter how famous I get. Fuck you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't have that.

I don't either.

But I keep moving. I don't like. I don't like that kind of stress. In my life, I don't like dwelling on things. I don't like creating additional conflict. Maybe I did when I was younger, but that shit doesn't seem appealing to me at all.

How do you let go? If you had it when you were younger, how did you let go of it?

I just realized it wasn't helping me.

Yeah.

The same way I let go being jealous of people. I would be jealous of other comedians. Like, if they were killing it.

Yeah.

I would, like, hope he bombs.

Yeah.

And then I. This is when I was 21. I felt this.

Oh, that's very young.

And I saw it. I was like, God. What? How. What a weak thought.

Yeah.

I was embarrassed.

Yeah.

I remember being 27 and just being so angry, and I haven't let go of all of it by any stretch, but being like, I don't like me being like this.

Yeah.

And then I realized all my hate of other people is rooted in me worrying I'm not gonna make it or worrying I'm not funny enough. And then you get kind of like. That's embarrassing. So let's try to move away from that.

Yeah. Especially with comedy and something that you could actually improve on. It's really stupid.

Yeah.

Or even martial arts. Something you improve on. I get it with girls because they get it with looks. Like looks.

Oh, I thought you're saying it.

Okay, no, looks is a fucking terrible. What. What a crazy crap shoot.

Yeah.

You could just get two sixes.

Yeah.

Or you get two ones.

Yeah.

And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. You just got fucked by genetics.

And it's because men don't give a fuck about your personality.

They barely care.

Yeah.

It's a.

As long as you're nice enough.

Yeah.

You just. You're nice and smiley and friendly.

Be there. Don't.

She's great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's awesome. She was quiet, like, we're such losers, dude.

We're like.

She was, like, nice. Interrupting me when I was talking. She's awesome.

Yeah, dude, it's all genetics.

Yeah.

It's all just. We're looking for those features.

Yeah.

We're looking for symmetry and all kinds of different things. And it's just. The world is a rough place if it's just a looks thing, but if it's a performance thing, God damn it, it's the opposite. Like, you should be excited by someone who's better than you, because that gives you something to strive for, and it also gives you fuel.

Yeah, absolutely. And I've said this publicly, I think, on another on True Geordie's podcast. But watching Andrew blow up, there's times where I'm insecure and I'm like, oh, am I gonna get there? But then watching him handle all of it, I'm like, oh, that is such a blessing to be able to watch him handle everything. So if and when I get to that position, this is how you handle it. I've seen it done before.

Yes. That's important. That's important to learn how to just be yourself, stay yourself. You have to learn how to stay yourself because the pressures are different. The world, it's like you step into a different atmosphere.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like a different environment. You're on a different planet.

Yeah.

Gravity's different.

As the number of eyeballs increase, everything, every feeling you have about these groups of people with an opinion amplifies as their numbers amplify.

Yes. So if you are hung up on other people's opinions and then you blow up, you're in real trouble, because if you read all that stuff, you can go crazy. And we've all seen it. We've all seen guys who go crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, the pressure and the other people and the opinions and all that stuff, it cracks them.

I remember when you came on flagrant, you were like, I'm sure there's stuff that's negative about me. I just don't read it. And then that actually helped me because I was like, oh, if Joe Rogan doesn't, the most famous guy I know doesn't read the comments. I thought there was, like, something weak, and you needed to, like, train yourself to get used to negative. It was like a really stupid thought, but it's like, you could just not do it. And then those people aren't real.

In the real world, if you're a nice person, right. You want to have nice exchanges with people. Like, I'm a nice guy. I like to be friendly. I like meeting people and hugging. I like fun times. I don't like arguments. So if, like, I'm engaging with people who are troubled, mentally ill people that are just looking to shit on.

Yeah.

Then you get all that energy in your head. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't gravitate towards that energy in real life. Why would I gravitate towards that energy online?

Yeah.

This is not good for you.

Yeah.

So if you pretend that you don't care at all. Yeah, well, now you're pretending, okay?

Now you're not.

Now you're not a human anymore, because all humans care about other people's opinions.

Yeah.

It's a part of why we all survived, you know, why our tribes managed to move into cities and create agriculture and create civilization.

Yes.

You have to like each other. You get along. It's part of the deal of being a human being.

Right.

And if you try to pretend, I don't give a fuck. Okay, well, now you're lying.

It's a coping mechanism.

Yeah, now you're lying. You just got to be honest about what you are. You're a human being. And if you're a human being, what do you want? You want good interactions with people?

My wife said a thing. I was getting in my head a couple times, and she says a thing. She's like, let me ask you a question. Have you ever gone onto a content creator's page and left a negative comment? And I was like, I don't think so. And I love hating on things, but going on to someone's page, and then she's like, now imagine doing it incessantly all day long. Those people have some level of mental illness that, like, their life is based around hating someone else. You can't take those people that seriously. And I was like, that's a valid point. They might dislike me, but that level is weird.

Yeah, they're losers. It's a bandwidth issue, and I don't mean they're losers. Like, they're never, they can't be winners. I mean, like, the. What you're doing, you're engaging in loser behavior. I've engaged in loser behavior?

Yeah, of course.

I've been a loser.

Right.

Doesn't mean you're. You are like, this is a can.

Yeah.

You are a can. Like, you never change. This is never going to be a plan.

Right.

You know, it is what it is. That's not what I mean, but I mean that if you're acting like a loser, if it walks like a duck, you're a fucking duck. You're a loser. And if you're a guy that's going on, you think Michael Jordan's leaving negative YouTube for comments? You know, I'm saying, like. Like, people that are successful don't have time to try to take other people down for no reason. Unless you're cat Williams.

Yeah, but that's. He's great at it, though. He's so good at it, though. If you're not that good at it, don't do it.

But also, he's being accurate.

Yeah.

The thing about cat is, like, you can't refute the things he's saying other than the book thing. There's no way he reads that many books.

40 is impressive. It's not as fast as he said, but it's impressive. Oh, is it five flat? He ran the 40 in, like, five flat. Have you seen that clip?

Yes.

Crazy.

He's fast. Yeah, he's fast, man. And he's cool. He's fun. He's a fun dude.

Hey, I have some loser behavior to apologize for before we get.

Really?

Yeah.

Yesterday I'm walking through Austin and I'm like, this city's great. Why did I get on Rogan the first time and shit all over Austin? What a fantastic city. I'm a loser. 68 degrees on a Sunday. I'm walking around, there's trees, there's beautiful people, there's good food. And I realized the only reason I hated it is because I would leave Texas when I moved to New York or LA, and every hacky liberal would be like, oh, I hate Texas, but I like Austin. And then I got insecure and some loser shit, and I was like, you know what? Fuck Austin, dude. Fucking vegans, they suck. This city's great.

If you go to certain parts of Austin, you will get annoyed. I was in east Austin a couple months ago and I saw some fucking guy driving his Tesla with a mask on. I literally wanted to yank him out of his car and break his neck. You fucking. You're a problem. Voting. I guarantee you, you're a problem.

Oh, my God.

You're the reason why there's no cash bail, dude.

I saw a guy in 2022 in an elevator and he got mad at me for not having a mask on. I was like, buddy, it's over. It's over.

He got mad at you and he.

Was like, not wearing a mask. And then. Cause New York had the whole mask thing for longer, and so I guess. But to me once it was.

It still going on in 2022 when you got in the elevator?

I guess. Well, my wife, NYU, she got a masters at NYU, and they made them take boosters, which I took the vax. I'm fine with that. But boosters, I was like, I'm not doing it. If it's a cold, I'm not vaccinating. It's a cold. I'm not doing it. And then they made them wear masks until, I think, middle of 2023, they had to wear masks.

Jesus Christ.

Which is insane.

There's no silence. Zero science.

Yes.

If you look at the science behind masking, there's actually legitimate science that breathing those dirty fucking masks with that bacteria inches from your mouth is bad.

That's fair.

Yeah. Because you're spitting in this thing, and then this thing is right in front of you.

Yeah.

And it's also warm and moist, so it breeds bacteria.

Like a surgeon wears masks to protect someone whose body is cut open. That makes sense.

And then spit inside of them.

He's not talking, having full conversations. He breathes in it for the surgery, takes it off. That's it. Another mask or whatever.

And if you wear one of those tight fitting and not. Or whatever they call them. Is that what it is?

Yeah.

KN 95. KN 95.

And N 95.

If you wear one of those, like, even that is. You're getting air in. Okay. And you must understand that the particles of whatever virus it is are smaller than the fucking holes that you're getting air through. You could vape through those things. Have you ever seen people vape through them?

No.

Yeah. Fucking vape goes everywhere. There's a doctor that was showing that early on. He was a respiratory specialist. He was like, this is insane. And let me show you why it's insane. You know, one of those big juice box vapes that those dorks use sucking on a robot dick. So he takes this big puff and then blows right through, like, one of them surgical masks. Like, right through it.

Wow.

Okay, so the COVID particles are smaller than the vape particles.

Yeah.

It's nonsense, but it made people feel better. I wore em in the beginning. Cause, you know, it's like, you don't wanna be an asshole. Everybody's scared. You don't want people upset. Oh, there's no mask.

Yeah.

And I. Early on. I'm with you. I was. I get it. We didn't know what the fuck this was. We didn't know how to control it. So this is what we feel we need to do. And then as more info started coming out, we should start to get less hysterical about it because there's more info on it. And it felt like in New York, we didn't. I thought some places went so far the other way was a little nuts, but it was more fun.

Liberals. It's liberals. And this is coming from someone who's been mostly a liberal their whole life. With most issues. I'm liberal about pretty much everything until it gets to, like, border and guns. And then I'm like, I. I know violence. I understand reality. This crime is real. It's a real thing.

Yeah.

Like, this idea that you shouldn't be protected is fucking nuts. Especially when you're defunding the police, you fucking idiot.

Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah. You know what? I have a bit in the special where I talk about just, like, the marketing of it. Like, defund the police. I don't. When you. When I talk to liberal people about what that means, they would be like, yeah, you know, I just want to, like, specialize the police force and have less, like, have de escalation measures first, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, that's a specialized. The police is a lot better than defund the police, you maniac.

Yeah, well, what terrible market. What do we have to do is train the police better and make.

Improve the police.

Yeah. And give those folks mushrooms every now and again and let them cleanse you.

Because of you, I started smoking weed a little bit. It's great.

I gotcha. I got you on that podcast that day, huh?

You got me on the podcast that day. And, buddy, let me tell you, shrooms.

Even better. Yes.

I'm so glad I waited till I was 37 to do any of this. I don't think I could have handled it when I was smart.

That's actually smart.

Shrooms are the best me. That fish thing. All I was thinking about is, I'm gonna get shrooms tickets to a fish show, sit there and lose my mind.

Ari Shafir's trying to convince me to go to a makeup specialist and get, like, a prosthetic nose and chin.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I just got.

Put a wig on. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, not a blonde one. Not a blonde one. People will know. Yeah, maybe you have redhead. Maybe I'll be a redhead and eat some baggy clothes or something like that. Yeah, something to. But the guns. But, yeah, do. Well, I can't invite just my tattoos. If anybody identifies those, you have to. If you're gonna go to a fish concert, you have to just be one with the crowd.

Yes.

You can't do that if you're famous. You gotta be able to sneak in and just. Just take it in.

Wow, dude, we could just run out this fearless God. Let's just do a concert, a private concert with fish for you and your friends.

And I am obsessed, obsessed with. With AI animation. I'm obsessed with it. I follow, like, 15 different people online now on Instagram. I just. It'll come across my feed and I'll just find these. These insane videos that they're creating, like, instantly with AI. And they're beautiful. They're amazing.

We made songs with AI on the Patreon, one of the Patreon episodes. And they're so good. So 20 seconds. Unbelievable. Have you seen the rap beefs that are happening where they think the songs are AI? Because they're so, like, one guy said, I know this song isn't AI because how can AI take a breath in a song? And I was like, no, they can. It's AI. It's just going to get better and better.

No, they, um. They take breath. They do all kinds of stuff now. They mimic all the patterns of speech that they can record from all these different people. So they have act like, if you have a database, like, say, if you and I are. We've been on a bunch of podcasts.

Yeah. Yeah.

So they could take us and have us say anything.

Yeah.

And it would be like weird pauses and clearing of the throat. It would be indistinguishable.

What is your.

Drake takes aim at Kendrick Lamar with AI Tupac and Snoop Dogg vocals on Taylor made.

So Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef, and Drake wrote a beef, and he did AI snoop and AI Tupac talking about how disappointed they are in Kendrick Lamour. He wrote the raps, and then the voices sound perfect.

Oh, my God.

It's unbelievable what's happening.

What is wrong with Kendrick Lamar?

They're just beef. This rap just. It's competitive. They beef. Sometimes. I think Kendrick started this one, and then it's just like, who wants to be the best? And hip hop is rooted in this kind of, like, battle rap and, like, competitive spirit.

Well, hip hop is an interesting thing because I love hip hop, but I don't really love bragging. But I love hip hop bragging.

Yeah.

Cause it's performative. It's not. You don't take it seriously.

Well, it's also you got to put yourself in, like. Like Jay Z in 99 problems, you know, where he's rapping about. All you think about is cash money hoes. Like, if you grew up with holes in your zap, you would, you know. Yeah, that's the whole idea is, like, if you come from nothing and then all sudden you got diamonds and you're driving a fucking Lamborghini. Whoa.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's supposed to be a celebration of the fact that you made it, and it's part of the bragging.

I remember when my parents had money. They had money, lost money, had money, lost money. But the last time they had money, I was like, who needs all this stuff? Then they lost money. I started comedy. I was broke as fuck. Whole family's not making money. And I was like, all I want to do is buy things. When I get money, I'm buying everything. And then you buy a few things, and you're like, I'm good. I got a nice place to live. I'm happy with my 2012 Honda Accord. We're good.

The thing about expensive stuff is if you can't afford it, the stress of that not being or barely being able to afford it and working for it is not nearly worth what you get out of the thing.

Yeah.

The only time nice things are worth it is when they're kind of free. Meaning not that they're free, but that you don't feel it.

Yeah.

Like, if you went out and bought a new mustang, you wouldn't even feel it. If you're rich, like, it's like, boo, I can enjoy this. This is fun.

Yeah.

It's like, it doesn't affect your life. But if you make $60,000 a year and you go out and buy a new mustang, and then you look at those car payments and you look at your rent payment, and then you look at your bills, you're like, fuck, yeah. Like, maybe I should take on, like, a little uber thing on the side.

You know, what's my mustang?

Yeah. People wind up doing that to pay for a car, which is a great thing to do if you want to do it that way. But the additional stress, like houses, like, I always tell people this. This is an important lesson that I learned when I was 27. When I was 27 was the first time I ever had a nice apartment. I moved to Hollywood. I was on a television show, and I got this place in north Hollywood, and it had a lofty. And I had a pool table in my living room. I'm like, this is amazing.

This is the dream.

And I was sitting down. I didn't even have furniture yet, and I was dating this girl, and we were sitting down listening to seal. You know that kiss from a rose?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we're listening to it. I had this dope ass fucking stereo that I bought. I've never had a stereo. And then, I mean, I have bullshit stereos, but I never had a real stereo with the big speakers.

Yeah.

And so we're listening to this. The sound is, like, going all. It's bouncing off the walls, everything. I'm like, this is incredible. But then after a few months, I had this revelation. I was like, oh, this is just home. This is the same feeling I had in my shitty apartment in New York. It's just home.

The high wears off.

Exactly. My shitty apartment in New York. I had a television and a bed. That's all I had. All I had is a television and a bed and a pool queue. And then I had. In the other room, I had a kitchen that I was fucking never in. I just ate out every day. Very rarely did I cook.

Yeah.

So it's like, that was home. So I'd go there from the road, do a gig, plop my bags down, sit on the couch, turn on MTV. Yeah, I'm home.

Yeah.

It's the same feeling. The exact same feeling. But if you got a bust your ass and really kill yourself for the same feeling, it's not worth it, kids. Your home feels like your home, no matter if it's a $50 million mansion or a fucking condo that you're paying $600 a month on.

Yeah, my same thing. My wife is big on the thing where if you can't afford it twice, you can't afford it once.

That's smart.

Yeah.

So that. That's. I need. I'm very financially, I think, just a byproduct of being a comedian. And, like, you risk everything. I don't have any risk averse version at all. My wife is a little more risk averse. So, like, if I want to buy a nice watch, I'm a little bit into watches now. She's like, can you buy that twice? I'm cool with you buying it. Just make me feel better. Can you buy it twice?

Right.

That's it.

That's all I want to know.

Can you buy it? Did the watch. Then that's what's get into expensive.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then you get into watches that people don't know are expensive, but they are expensive.

That's my. That's what I love now, because walking around new York, I don't want to. I'm very. I'm a very rob able guy. So walking around New York, I want something that's nice. And you're like, all right, fair enough. I don't think that's that nice of a watch. I'll let him walk.

Yeah, yeah, that's.

That's my. That's my jam now.

You gotta think like that if you're in certain spots.

Yeah.

Has New York gotten them that bad?

So apparently I looked this up because Alex, like, keeps up with this stuff. Alex on the podcast, and he was saying, crime is down. So I looked it up. Murder is down, like, 15% from a year ago. Rape is down, like 4%. I think assault might be up.

But, yeah, you do feel the problem, though, under reporting. And one of the problems with under, when there's no police presence and, like, that's a thing in LA right now, robberies are so common. It's so bad. The mayor of LA's house got broken into.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah, the LA mayor. Pull that up. It just happened. Just happened yesterday. They're so fucking common. And cops aren't coming for anything that a lot of shit goes underreported, because if you call it in, no one does anything. No one cares. Los Angeles mayor Karen Bass, safe after suspect breaks into her official residence.

That's crazy.

I like how she has an official.

Residence is also wild.

Yeah.

What's the unofficial?

Her and her family were not harmed when a suspect gained entry. I like how I said that. Gained entry.

He gained access. He broke into your fucking house.

The Getty house. The LA mayor's official residence on earth, Irving Boulevard, around 06:40 a.m. This morning. First of all, that's ridiculous that you have a place where everybody knows you're gonna be. Cause it's the mayor house.

Yeah.

You've gotta stay in the mayor.

Yeah, but it should. No one should get in. We all know where the president stand. We're not getting in.

I hung out with the governor when I first moved to Texas.

Oh, yeah.

And the governor lives in the governor's mansion. And so you gotta go to the governor's mansion. You're going through all the security. They're frisking you, taking stuff out of your pockets. Yeah, cops and everything. I'm like, how crazy is it that you're staying in this spot where everybody knows where you are? And then while I was hanging out with them, a drone flew over the balcony. It turned out it was the fire department. They were doing something with drones, so they scanned for fires and shit. And I don't know what they do, but I was like, this is crazy. Do you have to deal with this all the time? Is a drone in front of your fucking house? Yeah, I'd get a shotgun.

Yeah. I remember watching a presidential debate. It was Obama and Romney, I think. And then we're at the village lantern where we came up, and then my boy Michael Blaustein points at the tv, and he goes, anyone want this? And I was like, that's a good point. That to leave my house.

Yeah.

It's drones flying over my house. A level of scrutiny. Anytime I say, oh, people are jumping. All remember they were jumping on Barack because he said, uh, a lot.

Yeah.

With it, they're just all over him. It's like, dog, can I live?

Imagine that? Now bad Biden isn't speaking.

Yeah, yeah, it's rough, dude.

I got hairy legs.

It's. I. It's so rough to watch.

It's. Imagine if Obama came along and. And people are complained about that.

Yeah, that's.

Wait a minute. How do you not complain about this guy?

That's true.

This is ridiculous.

Do you want. I heard you say, I think Michelle should run.

She win. She could win. I think.

I think.

I think if she won, I think if she ran, she could win.

Yeah.

I don't think she wants that, though.

No.

I don't think she wants on their life, which is bullshit that they dealt with over the eight years with their. When he was president.

Yeah.

Fuck all that. Fuck that job. For anybody that, you know, that, like, really would really, really good at it.

Yeah.

I trust the person who doesn't want the job more than the person who wants the job for sure.

To be, like, real desperate to change the world.

Yeah.

And be a good person, an actual good candidate to understand that they're gonna come for you.

Yeah.

Like, the way they're coming for Trump right now.

Yeah.

This thing that they're doing right now with the criminal trial for the hush money payment, this is essentially the way it is. It's like he incorrectly labeled a payment on. It's like a ledger thing. It's not even like it's illegal to pay someone to shut up. The whole thing is. It's like how he recorded what that payment was for.

I don't know enough about the trial to know. I don't. But I think what a casual observer like myself would say is, oh, this seems like a witch hunt. And I don't think if your strategy is to make Trump not win an election, I think that only emboldens his support. People who are on the fence might be like, oh, they really are trying to get this guy. He's right. When he says all this stuff, they're.

Definitely trying to get him. But if you look at what's going on in New York crime wise, look at the bail situation. Like those two guys that beat up the cops, the illegal immigrants that beat up the cops.

I didn't even know about this.

They let him out right away, and the dude was like Tupac in the camera and shit fire, to be honest. This is a young guy who walked here from Guatemala. He's like, fuck you. I just beat up your cop.

That guy is Scarface. We watched a movie about that guy in the seventies and loved him.

Yeah.

And you are never gonna get that guy out of here now.

Yeah.

Even if you beat up a cop like, you're not even deporting him, you're just letting him right back on the street. And then how are you tracking him? You're not tracking him. Are you tracking him? No, you're not tracking him. There's no resources. There's no fucking money for anything there. It's crazy.

I thought South park had a really good take on illegal immigration like 15 years ago, which was like, the liberals are all just like, let him in, let him in, let him in. The conservatives like, don't let any in. And nobody's like, hey, maybe we could also just try to help them out in their country so they don't need to sneak in. And that's probably a great way to do aid.

The problem with that is then you don't get the cheap labor that you need to make cars for like $10.

That's very true. My parents owned a restaurant that failed. But if you think we were hiring legal people, that's crazy. No chance we would have closed even faster.

That's the thing about LA. They just switched it to dollar 20 an hour for minimum wage.

Yeah, there's no way you can afford that.

Businesses are just going to close up shop. They're going to kill the economy or just keep hiring.

Aren't illegals.

It's can't do it because they have to get paid a certain amount. Even the illegals do.

Really?

Unless you're paying them under the table. If you're running McDonald's, you can't pay people under the table. That's, they'll get you.

Well, I, they're also just going to do the self checkout and just eliminate workforce wherever they can.

That's what's going to happen. It's going to be an AI thing. It's going to be self check. They already have a thing here. There's a whataburger. That's like a digital whataburger. You'll order it on your app and then you pull up to a kiosk already. It just fucking comes out. All right.

Yeah, we're always gonna get used to it. The self checkout doesn't seem weird anymore.

Not at all.

Remember Bill Burr's bit like twelve years ago where he's just like, I'm just stealing it now we're all like, no, we'll just pay for it else if. And they'll have a tip at the end at the airport, I just rang myself up and you want a tip? Guess what? Give me my money back. That's the tip.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, the tip thing is crazy, but people try to weasel tips out of you everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's weird how, like, some things get tips, like a Starbucks barista, but other things, you never think about tipping.

Yeah.

That are, like, harder jobs.

Yeah, I. So I. This might be classic something or whatever. When I see the, like, grocery delivery guy, I often see someone that I feel like could use the money more than the fucking barista at Starbucks. So I try to over tip them. I'll do the $1 standard at a coffee shop because my friends shame me. But now I'm like, I'm kind of classist. And how I tip, I'm like, who needs it more? And then I'll over tip that guy.

Yeah, well, I like to tip people. It's fun.

I've heard.

Feels nice.

I've heard your tips are pretty crazy.

It feels good. It's like. I call it, like a little love bomb. You leave a love bomb for someone, changes their day.

I'm fighting against my indian heritage. Anytime I leave a big tip, I'll do it. But it's tough. It took a lot of work.

I'm italian and, you know, Sinatra. And all this is given everybody's day, handing out big tips.

That's a big thing for the Italians.

Makes people feel better.

Yeah, it makes.

It's a. It's a nice thing to do. It makes people feel better. But my point is, like, how come you don't tip the stewardess on an airplane?

Because they're the fun police, dude, that's why.

Sometimes they are the fun.

Can I just have my seat back while we land? Why can't I have my seat back while we land? What's your fucking deal?

No sense.

Yeah, it's.

They're just doing their job. I know they're forced to do that.

Stupid shit, but if you let me.

Have my seat back, maybe I'll give you a 20 on the way out.

They'll get fired. They didn't follow the stupid fucking protocol. But those people, like, they're. They're bringing you food, they're bringing you water. You press a button, and then they.

Have to come over to you, summon them with a button, and, you know.

They don't get a tip.

That's true.

But the Starbucks guy does.

Yeah.

Okay.

You know, and that's smug.

Fuck.

Oh, some of them are so smug.

Yeah.

Is it that a prerequisite for being a barista? You have to, like, look at people.

Can I. Can I tell you sideways? I'm trying to tip better as I feel I'm more blessed. And I remember COVID being like, oh, yeah.

These.

These tips are. This is an important thing to do.

Right.

But if you give me any attitude, the way I press zero and then spin it back around to you so you can see me not tip, it makes me so happy. I'm overjoyed. Zero. There you go, buddy. That's a Texas thing. I think, to a degree, we don't like rudeness at all. Very. Yes, sir, no, sir. I'm raised. Yes, sir, no, sir. Yes, ma'am, no, ma'am.

Please.

Thank you. These were huge when I was growing up, so if you don't give me that, I feel so, like, who the fuck?

There's a real benefit in that kind of Texas. Friendly, like, politeness.

Yes.

There's a real benefit that makes everybody feel better.

Absolutely.

I call people ma'am and sir all the time.

Yeah.

Makes everybody feel better.

Yeah.

And now that I'm old, nobody gets offended anymore because I'm older than the people I'm serving or mamming 95% of the time.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm always older than young guys that I'm calling sir.

Yeah.

But it's. It's, um. You know, it feels good. Makes everybody feel better.

There's.

There's a method to it. There's a. There's an intelligence to it.

Right.

Because that. That whole east coast thing, you know, I grew up in Boston. Everybody's hard assed, hard edged, and I'm always like, yeah, I'm not. I don't have to do that. But. But I get why they're that way. Because everybody that lives on the east coast, unless you move there recently, you're essentially the child of either immigrants or the children of immigrants who are, you know, of grandparents of immigrants, children, or grandchildren of immigrants. Yeah. Someone came from a boat, and they landed on that spot, whether it was the 1920s or whatever the fuck it was with my family was in the 1920s. So these people, they landed there from fucking Italy and Ireland, and they were poor as fuck and desperate, right? They made it across the ocean on a boat without YouTube. They didn't know what the fuck they were getting into. They probably barely saw a photo of what America looked like. They had no idea if they were going to get a job. Those are hard ass people. And so those people raised hard ass kids, and it takes a long time to break that out of a generational cycle. And I think for a lot of people that moved to California, like, I didn't even know people were friendly until I moved to California?

Yeah.

When I moved to California, I'm like, girls are so much nicer. They're like, nice. They're like, hi. Hi, how you doing? They're not going to just be mean to you, right?

Yeah.

I think some of it also is just the number of people, the density of population. In Texas. I see a person every 90 seconds. I can say hi to everyone I walk by. In New York, there's too many people. If I hold the door open for one person in Texas, two might walk through. In New York, 30 might walk through. So I'm not holding it. I'm not doing this.

That's a great point because, like, I walked my dog yesterday. I'm walking on the street, and everybody I see, I'm waving, hi, how you doing? But I saw, like, five guys.

It's so much easier.

It's easy if you're in New York City and you're walking on the street. It's just constant flow of people coming your way.

I'm not.

You literally can't wave to everybody. You would be a crazy person.

Waving.

At every single year kicked out of you.

Someone would get upset at you, like.

The joker opening scene. Just get chased down the street and get beaten the fuck up, bro.

I've been watching a lot of videos on Instagram, unfortunately, of women getting punched in the face in New York. I've seen, like, four or five of them over the last few days. People just punching women for no reason?

Yeah, that's like a thing. That's, like a thing.

What is that?

I don't know. I thought it was only white women at first, so it was just funny to me, but then I found out they're doing it to everybody, and now I'm scared for my wife.

Yeah, I saw some asian lady get punched in the face today.

Yeah, the fuck?

For no reason. Just walking down the street and this dude, just. Wait, she had a mask on, too, by the way.

Maybe that's why.

Maybe that's why this dude just way later and knocked her mask off center, flying out of nowhere. Like, you don't think you're gonna get hit. First of all, people die that way all the time.

Yeah, because if you don't know you're.

Gonna get hit and you get hit, you go unconscious, and you bang your head off the concrete.

Yeah.

It's like getting the world dropped on you.

Yeah, no, I. That's one thing that fighters are keenly aware of that most of us don't. I don't think. Think about a lot.

You got to really think about that on concrete. If you're gonna punch somebody on concrete, you might go to jail.

Yeah.

You might go to jail for a long, and you might have horrible nightmares that you could have avoided that you didn't have to do that, especially if you're, you're skilled.

Yeah.

And you know that, like, I don't have to fuck this guy up, but this guy's fucking pissed me off. Teach this motherfucker fucker a lesson.

Yeah.

I have a friend who had that exact situation. He's like, I haven't fought since then. I don't know what happened to the guy. He's. I had to get out of there. I just. And he's like, a trained fighter, and he's like, I can't. I don't know what happened to him. I couldn't find out. And that just haunts me.

I was very enthusiastic about fighting until I was 19. And when I was 19, I fought in this tournament in Anaheim, California. It was the nationals, and I was the Massachusetts state champion. And I fought this kid who was. I think he was from Illinois. I think he was the Illinois state champion. And I. I hit him in the head with a wheel kick. What? A wheel kick is. Is like your body spinning. So I'm standing with my left foot forward, and I'm spinning my right heel around in a circle, and it has insane power. I mean, insane power. The amount of power that you get in a wheel kick is because it's my legs, it's my upper body. There's whip to it. It's got all this torque. And I caught this guy, he came at me with what's called a stepping roundhouse kick. So he had his front leg forward, and he stepped forward with his left leg. He was going to throw a kick, and I spun with my right leg at the same time. So I caught him running in, and I blasted him in the face, and he went out, face plant snoring.

Never woke up. Never woke up. He was unconscious for half an hour. They put him in a stretcher. I was watching. He never got out of that stretcher. They took him to the hospital. I have no idea what happened to him. And I. It freaked me out. Yeah, it freaked me out. Yeah. I lost my next match, and I was. That was my third match of the day.

Were you just like, I can't get over this.

No, no, I lost my next match. The guy was just better. I just lost.

Okay.

And. But when I went back to Boston, my main instructor, he wasn't there in California when I was fighting, and so because there was, like, a team of us, it was, like, ten of us that went to California, and he said to me, he goes, I heard you had a great knockout. And I said, yeah. He goes. He goes, wheel kick? I go, yeah. I go, I thought he was dead. He never got up. He goes, sometimes they die. I was 19, and I was fighting for zero money, and none of it made any. And my heel was sore. I was limping the next day. Cause my heel was sore from his face.

Yeah.

And then I was thinking, I'm not immune to that. Someone could 100% do that to me. We're whipping fucking bones at each other.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, I just. It changed my. My feeling about it. I never. I didn't have the same enthusiasm after that. That was probably, like, the beginning of the end for me. I fought for a couple more years, but it was like, that was kind of it. I was kind of like, what was.

Your aspiration before that? To be, like, a world champion?

I wanted to be in the Olympics.

Ah, okay.

Yeah, but there's no money in Taekwondo. There's no money in kickboxing, either. I don't offer for a kickboxing fight. It was, like, $500, boy. But the. And then if I fought fi. If I fought professional, then I could never fight amateur again, because now I'm a professional. So it's like $500. It was like, $500 to train for, like, two months and maybe get pummeled.

Yeah.

You know, maybe get brain damage, maybe get my nose shattered. You know, maybe get my ribs kicked in, like.

And that's the beginning of the stand up career, essentially.

Well, I was doing both at the same time as well, which is also a problem, because I knew I wasn't as committed to fight. But it really began with that 19 year old. When I knocked that dude out, that was the beginning of the end. And then it was like, later on, it was headaches from kickboxing.

Oh, wow.

I was getting a lot of headaches. I was getting headaches, like, after sparring, I would be lying in bed, and my brain would just be throbbing, just boom, boom, boom. And I remember thinking, what am I doing? Am I ruining my brain? I knew a lot of guys who. Their brain got ruined, and it didn't seem like they realized it. It didn't seem like. Because they were still fighting. Yeah, it didn't seem they realized. Or maybe they didn't know what to do, or maybe they just weren't that smart, but they were still fighting and training but I was realizing they were slurring their words, and there was. There's just this clear evidence that something was off.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, my God, is that happening to me? Is that going to happen to me?

Yeah.

You know, and then there's also, later on, I realize there's also other side effects of that, which is, like, impulsiveness, gambling addiction.

People get crazy.

They start doing a lot of drugs. They drink a lot. A lot of guys become drunks because they're just trying to, like, they're just trying to feel good.

Yeah.

They just feel terrible all the time.

Yeah.

And we had no idea about any of this back then.

You were in a fog of depression because people thought back then, punch drunk was a thing that was real. Everybody knew a guy, but no one worried about it up until it was obvious.

Right.

You know, and no one worried about. There's a sub concussive traumatic brain injuries that cause a lot of CTE, which is a chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

Right.

And that's. That's the thing that makes people kill themselves and, you know, do wild shit and lose their fucking mind. But soccer players get that.

I know it's from heading the ball. I've heard this, and it's so crazy how delicate the brain is. We don't think about it.

Yeah, super delicate. And that's why I tell my friends that are all. They still like to spar. I was like, man, I know it's fun. I know it's fun to spar, but don't do it. Don't fucking do it, man. Don't do it. Because you could just slip away and not even realize that you slipped away.

Yeah.

Because all you have to do is, like, spar with one meathead, one guy who really. And then he hits you. You get mad and you hit him, and next thing you know, you're in a fight.

Right?

You're in a fight in the gym, and a lot of fights happen in the gym. There's a lot of sparring matches that essentially become fights where you're just wailing up.

People don't break it up.

No, most gyms don't. It depends on the gym. I mean, a really good gym will break it up, especially if someone's better than the other person and they're wailing on them. A really good gym will stop that, but a really good gym will not want you to spar like that. Most of the time, anyway. Most of the time, they want you to what they call technical spar. So you're just kind of like you're hitting each other, but you're not, like, full blasting each other. You're just getting timing in. And that's a really great way to spar if you trust your sparring partner. So if you got a guy that you could do it with and he's cool and you're cool and you like each other, and you can make this agreement, like, if I hit him, I'm going to hit him like this. Like, kick him. I'm just going to, like, stop at the body. And if you do that, then you really develop sharp timing, and it's great. But you do have to do hard sparring every now and then, because you got to know what that feels like. And the consequences of making mistakes are so much more.

I'm gonna be honest. I think about getting into, like, jujitsu and stuff, and then you start talking like this, and I'm like, I think I'm okay. I think I don't need this. I think I'm not built for it.

Yeah, well, I'm a grappler.

Well, you got Hassan. Looking good. I went, by the way, mothership is beautiful. Hassan took me yesterday.

Thank you.

Gorgeous. Mitzi's also, as a non drinker, I didn't have any interest in Mitzi's. And then I went there, and I was like, oh, this is a vibe. Yeah, this is like a speakeasy. And then I heard it's shut down for anybody but comics after a certain hour. Yeah, that's awesome.

After 11:00 p.m. Comics and their friends.

That's awesome. But, yeah, son looks good, dude. And he said he was training with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got those guys on a workout boot camp. Shane Gillis, Hasan, Derek Poston, Brian Simpson, Duncan Trussell.

Is poston still doing only meat? He's doing carnivore. He told me he was doing that.

So is Hasan. Yeah, I got them on that for January. It was world carnivore month, and I said, I just want you guys to try this one month. He said, so hard eggs you could eat. It is hard. Yeah, but once you get accustomed to it, like, that's how I eat, man. I mean, I'll still eat whatever I want every now and then.

Yeah.

But the vast majority of my diet is all just meat and eggs, no veggies, very little if I want to. Like, the other night, I had a salad. I felt like having a salad.

And blood work is all good.

No, it's great. Everything's great.

Look at that.

Yeah. No, it's amazing. It's like your body wants to eat real food. And if you're eating bread and all that bullshit, it's not real food. It's just your. Your body's like, I'm never tired, okay? So through the. I used to get the look. I 100% am addicted to pasta. Like, if you give me a big bowl of, like, linguine with clams, I will fuck that up. I will fuck some lasagna up. You put a pizza in front of me, I can't stop eating. Yeah, I'll eat a whole pizza. A whole extra large pizza, right? But that's not good for you. And when I would eat like that, I would always crash. I would get these moments, like the middle of the day, I was like, I gotta take a fucking nap. I wanted to take a nap.

I love that feeling.

It's great feeling.

So fun.

It's so fun to just be able to take a nap if you can, but if you're busy and you can't take a nap and now you gotta go do things, and you're all droopy.

Yeah.

But when I started eating only meat, one of the first things I noticed is that my energy levels were completely level throughout the day. It was flat. It never went up. It never went down. I was like, this is crazy. Like, I'm not getting tired where I'm expecting to get tired. And then I realized, oh, that's probably, like, an insulin dump. Like, my body's probably fucked up from all this carbs, all this sugar and bullshit that I'm putting in my body. And as soon as I stopped doing that, I felt so much better. And that's what those guys said. That's what Assange said, and Derek said. They're like, dude, I feel so much better. I have so much more energy.

Yeah.

Cause you're not poisoning yourself.

Yeah.

I did, like, a keto style. It was called soda. This thing, before I filmed the special, I let go, like, 20 pounds, and it was. I didn't realize the idea of eating fat instead of carbs is. Fat, even with a smaller amount, is just more filling. So carbs. You can eat 200 calories of carbs. Yeah. Protein and fat carbs. I'm hungry again right away. If I have even just a tablespoon, tablespoon and a half of olive oil, I'm good for four or 5 hours usually.

Yeah, it's a higher satiety level. So if you just eat a 16 ounce steak, you put a 16 ounce ribeye in front of you. And if that's all you're eating, you'll be full. You'll eat that. You're like, that was great. But if there's mashed potatoes right next to it with gravy.

Yeah.

And then maybe some french fries and then maybe over there, there's a little bit of spaghetti and meatballs. I'm going to keep eating, right? I'm going to keep stuffing my fat, stupid face and then I'm going to, at the end of it, I'll be like this. Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Which is still my favorite thing to.

Do, but it's really bad for you. It's a great feeling. That's really like drinking. Great feeling that's really bad for you.

Yeah, I don't. I don't drink, but I will gorge.

Yeah, it's not good, man. It's not good. You really. Especially one of the things as you get older, you, you realize there's, there's a giant difference between people my age that take care of themselves and people my age that neglect their health. They deteriorate. Like, I have friends that are my age and when I tell people we're the same age, they're like, what? Yeah, like they, they. Other people can't even believe it. How is that guy your age? Yeah, like, because he didn't do anything. He didn't take care of himself. You have to take care of, you got to treat your body like it's a fucking car.

Yeah.

If your cars got a fucked up transmission, get it fixed.

Yeah.

If you change your fucking oil, stupid.

Have you, have you seen this guy? Brian Johnson? He was on flagrant. He's fascinating, dude. He's fascinated. He says he eats like 1800 calories a day. And he, the saying, he says it's kind of fire. He goes, every calorie is fighting for its life. If every calorie has a purpose and if we can't find a purpose for you, you're out. Every piece of food has a purpose.

It's also like injected his son's blood into him.

Yeah, yeah. It's.

So when I first read articles, here's what I'll say. When I would just read articles. He's coming on the pod. We're researching and I'm like, they paint him as like this billionaire fuck boy who just wants to be a billionaire and have sex with 18 year old or whatever. They kind of make him seem like that. When you talk to him. He's like, I think humans can live forever with the help of AI. And I just want to push us there and you feel like, oh, yeah, this is not. He's not like. He was wearing, like, a unicorn shirt when we saw him and, like, some blue corduroys. No, nothing fashionable about this man. He just. And I think his dad is pretty sick. And so he, I think, wants to make humans live forever very soon so his dad can stick around. It's actually, like, there's a lot more nobility to it when I talk to him than when I just read articles about him.

Isn't it interesting that you would be skeptical about a person who wants to live longer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, a billionaire who wants to live forever sounds. Those things together sound evil genius. Like Lex Luthor.

Right. But it also makes people's like, no, everybody's gonna die.

Yeah.

It's like, especially poor people that don't have the money to do all the shit that he's doing. Cause what he's doing is. Costs, like, millions every year.

Yeah.

2 million, I think, a year on his body.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

LeBron spends a million a year, and this guy's not even an athlete, but 2 million a year.

Yeah.

I mean, he looks okay.

He looks great, dude.

And he looks good.

He looks better. He's in better shape, obviously, than he was five years ago.

He's also a vegan, though, which I found fascinating because there's not a lot of evidence that's good.

He didn't think that was healthy. He thought he could be as healthy and protect the environment. I believe he thought the environmental cost of meat right now.

Yeah. I should read more. That doesn't sound protecting shit. You're encouraging monocrop agriculture. You're encouraging the death of untold numbers of creatures when they fucking. When they cultivate those crops, when they cut them down and run those fucking combines through them, everything dies. Dude, if you think one life is one life. So if you think, like, a bison is as important as a mouse, well, you're a hypocrite, because those ground squirrels. Shrews. Yeah. Ground nesting birds, fawns, rabbits, things get fucking destroyed. If you talk to farmers, one of the things you see after they run a combine through the field is vultures. Vultures and crows just flying over the field because they know everything got fucked up.

Yeah.

So if one life is one life, and this is not to say that there's not a horrific loss of life every day with, like, chickens. The number of chickens that get killed in this country every year is in the billions. Yeah, it's in the billions. How many chickens. Do we kill every year? Let's find out. I was watching this thing on all the different animals that get killed. Like, what's the highest number of animals that get killed?

Is it chicken?

It's gotta be chickens.

Chickens is high up there. I don't know if it's number one, but there's a. There's a lot. A lot of different things get fucking killed and eaten by people.

Yeah.

But monocrop. Agriculture is terrible for the environment. It's not good. It's bad because you. You destroy, like, topsoil. You're not supposed to have 117 billion.

I think that's a billion.

What's that?

That was animals. Total 8 billion chickens.

Chickens. 8 billion chickens every year.

Us 214 million turkeys.

That's right. Ridiculous. Turkeys. They're like. They only exist because of thanksgiving.

Yeah.

Wildly overrated meat.

Very overrated.

Yeah.

I'm amazed that there's eight times.

Look at the shellfish. Oh, my God. 43 billion.

No, that's fire. I love shellfish. That one, they. They got it.

3 billion fish.

23 billion.

Oh.

Million ducks.

Yeah. 23 million ducks worldwide. Chicken said it was like 70 billion.

70 billion.

Whoo.

Every year.

That's crazy.

Every year we kill 70 billion chickens.

Makes sense, though. If there's 8 billion people, we all probably about nine chickens a year on average, the other day.

Yeah.

Yeah. Meanwhile, I have chickens. I have chickens and they're sweet. They're my pets. That's weird. Yeah. I've like 15 chickens and they. They make eggs. I eat their eggs, but they're. They're not worried about me at all. I'm like, hey, ladies, come by, give them food. They get excited to see you.

You got a lot of land out there then.

Yeah.

Yeah. You.

Are you raising any other animals? Full farm or just the chickens?

No, just chickens and trying to keep my dog from eating the chickens.

My dog would be terrified. My dog is seven pounds. He'd be terrified of your dog and chickens both freaking out.

Oh, that's funny. What kind of dog is it?

Some multiple happy. Oh, I love him, dude. I didn't want a small dog. My wife made me get a small dog and I'm so happy.

Anybody doesn't like small dogs, I say meet Carl.

Yeah, he's fantastic.

Was he in your lap?

Yeah. Look at this guy, dude.

Oh, look at little Carl.

Yeah, it's the best.

Yeah, dogs don't get any cuter than Carl. Yeah, they just get different.

Yeah.

Wonderful. Just traveling with a small dog is so much better than.

Yeah, they're great little buddies. Yeah, they're little pals, dude.

I got the full sling. I'm gonna send Jamie a link. I got the full sling. I put him in there. Just walk around. It's the best thing.

Don't get punched.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What if you fell and crushed the dog to death?

No, I could never. I would have to fall. It's like a mother holding the son, you know? You got instincts. I mean, cracked. Oh, if I get crack saying, like.

That chinese lady I saw today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm probably about as strong as her, so.

Yeah, she was a big lady.

Oh, then definitely less wide.

She got waylaid. It's fucking. The dude just stood over her. After he waylaid her, he just stood over her and he pretended like nothing happened. He was talking to somebody else, you know, young enough.

Yeah.

I feel like young kids scare me the most because they don't know the value of a life yet. No, they don't get it.

I saw one kid that died in New York City. These guys just walked up to him and cracked him, and he fell backwards over the curb and fell back and slammed his head on the street and died for nothing. For $20. They robbed him from $20. That's all he had on him. I know. It's crazy. It's just crazy that there's. That our society is so fucked up that we've been spending so much money on shit like wars overseas and not nearly enough money on trying to figure out a way to have the minimal amount of people grow up to want to punch people in the face on the street. Yeah, put a stop to that, or.

Feel like they need to punch people.

On the street, figure out a way to mitigate that. There's got to be a science behind it. Like, what is the problem? Well, abuse at home, violence in their neighborhood, poverty, drugs, gangs, all that stuff. If they could pump money at that, what would the, like, the downstream effects of a lack of crime and violence. If you could, like, give people hope and educate them at an early age and set people up saying, I'm going to help you, I'm going to mentor you, I'm going to get you along in life. The amount of money that we would spend to do that would pay for itself four, five, six times over. And less crime, less bullshit, less losers, less problem, less prisons.

Yeah, I just. So much of it seems like it just starts at home, and there's the generational trauma thing that you hear about a lot, and it's like, yeah, like.

We'Re talking about with the east coast.

Exactly.

A little bit of generational trauma there.

Yeah. I had so much I had to think about. My dad struggled with alcohol abuse, struggle with a lot of stuff. And I had to understand what his life was supposed to be in India and then what it was gonna be here in India. He was like, set. He'd passed this exam that, like, 5 million people apply for, and they select, like, 200. Like he was gonna be a millionaire. Bare minimum, 24 years old. Then he's at another family member's wedding, and his little cousins are like, hey, you're getting married today, too. He had no idea. Arranged marriage, getting fitted for clothes on his way to the wedding. And then they're like, you're also moving to America. That's because in the seventies in India, they're just thinking, oh, if he's successful in India, he'll be even more successful in America. The language barrier, you never think about. And I thought about somebody, one of my cousins, it struck me, because he goes, your dad is so funny. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's the least funny. Because your dad's not funny in English. He's so funny in Hindi. And I was like, oh, this guy doesn't.

This language he's not that good at. And he couldn't navigate the world the way he could in India. He was supposed to be a superstar. Then he comes here and he's in Texas as a brown guy in the seventies, probably less than to all these people. And he's used to being a star. And he can't be funny and he can't be himself. And that just sucks the life out of you slowly, day by day.

What did he do in India?

He was. It's called a PCs officer. So there's a movie called 12th Fail, a Bollywood movie. I love Bollywood, but it's about a different post but equally competitive. That one is like, is. And then PCs is like a government officer, kind of like state police, I guess, but, like, you are at the very least, well respected. And if you want to be rich and take some bribes, you can do that. And my dad would have done all of that. All the bribes, all the bribes. And in India, he just kind of knew. That's how he knew the culture. He knew how to navigate. He knew how to grease the wheels and all of that. How to talk to people to get what you want. Here, he's not charming because he doesn't know English well enough there. He can get anything he wants here. He's just struggling, trying to figure it all out. And so I've become keenly aware of, like, I don't know if we, as immigrant kids, appreciate everything our parents had to go through to get here for us. I'm not here without that.

Well, if my grandparents. It was actually my grandparents parents that moved here, but if they weren't the type of people that were so gangster, they were willing to get on that boat. Yeah, I would be in Europe somewhere.

Yes, yes.

I'd be in Europe, hanging out in a cafe, smoking cigarettes, talking shit.

Yeah.

I would be a fat, spoiled piece of shit, and it would have been fun. I'd have been a rich kid. But growing up in India, I wouldn't have been this, what I am here. I know that.

Yeah. You want your own ability to carve a path, and there's a lot of countries where that's not an option. You can't really carve a path to do whatever you want to do.

Yeah.

That's not available to everybody everywhere.

Yeah, man. Hopeless poverty I have. I'm not saying there's not extreme poverty in America. There is, but I've seen hopeless poverty in India, where it's just like, I don't know how you'll get out of this in three generations, even.

Yeah.

When you fly into Brazil, one of the things that happens when you fly into Rio, we would do ufcs there. You go through the favelas, the airport, and the drive from the airport to where. The beach where we're staying. Yeah, you drive straight through the favela. So all to the right of you is shantytowns, and you see extreme poverty.

Yeah.

And have you ever seen that movie the city of God?

Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

My friend Haiti. Bravo said that makes boys in the hood look like Sesame street.

Truly, I remember thinking it was gonna be an uplifting film, so I was horrified watching the whole thing, but, yeah, it's crazy, man.

And my friends from Brazil say that's exactly what it's like. That's exactly what it's like in the favelas.

They.

It's bad.

The runts, the kids that take over, they're, like, nine years old, and they end up killing people.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

They have no respect for life.

No.

Understand? I mean, their frontal cortex isn't even beginning to form.

Yeah.

They're not. You're 25 before you figure out what the fuck you're even doing with yourself.

I remember riding a train in India with my mom. My mom has, like, fibromyalgia, all these joint issues, and then they like that we had to move. Train stations, all this stuff, or, like, platforms or whatever, and everybody's just rushing and people are, like, screaming, trying to get off the plane, a train. So many people are getting on. People are, like, screaming, like, please just let me get off. And I'm like, yo, people are gonna die doing this. And then we talked to family in India, and they might have just been saying it flippantly, but they said, the cheapest thing in India is a man's life. They said in Hindi. But, like, the idea that you just grow up around so much trauma and whatever, that it's like. It is what it is.

When there's a billion people. And that's what India has. A billion on a land a quarter.

The size of America.

So.

A quarter size of America. Three times the population.

Yeah.

That's nuts, dude. The .4 of India's population, 1.4 billion, is bigger than America.

That's nuts.

So bigger. Plus a billion.

That's nuts.

Yeah.

You have to think. A quarter the size of America and three times the population. If you really put that all together, you just.

Craig, that's crazy.

Yeah.

What? Yeah, it's madness.

And I love India and I love going back. And I also just understand how privileged I am that I was raised here. And I feel like we, as immigrant kids, take that for granted sometimes.

Isn't it interesting how, like, some places just. I guess it's the older ones, right? Like, think about high population places. It's China, which is like our oldest civilization.

Yeah.

China has thrived economically for 4000 years. Yeah, 4000 years. So, of course they have a billion people.

Yeah, true.

They. I mean, obviously there's serious poverty and all sorts of problems in China, but the point is, they've been a unit for 4000 years. So people have been fucking.

Yeah.

They've been fucking for 4000 years. So much that they had to say, you can only have one kid.

Yeah.

And then they ruined everything. That stupid idea. They. Then they ruined everything. So there's so many more men than there are women. So now they have, like, a real problem. And then they realized that they were gonna have a real problem, so they started changing it. And so you could have more kids. I think you can have three now. Right? Is that what China's policy is now?

Are you not worried about China as a threat to America for global dominance? I guess is a. I can't think of a better way to say it, but are you worried about it?

They've already won.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They've infiltrated all of our universities, they give grant money. They pay for things. They buy up farmland. They've been buying up farmland around military bases. They sell America cheap cell phone towers and Internet routers. They sell them cell phone towers at a discounted rate so that they could have their cell phone towers around military bases so they could listen to everything fucking says.

I mean.

Yeah.

And then they get caught using, like, third party access to, like, Huawei got kicked out of America.

Oh, that's right. I forgot about this for you.

I was ready to buy a Huawei phone because Huawei, at one point, I'd have the dopest phones. Really, bro, their phones are so dope. Their phones are incredible. They had cameras and batteries that were so much better than iPhones or anything that was available in America at one point in time. And they were just making these insane phones. And I remember they made a Porsche design phone. It was a Porsche design Huawei phone. I'm like, this is the craziest phone I've ever seen.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden, they put a ban on them. And I'm like, there must be some real shit going down if the United States government.

Yeah, we let them get away with a lot.

What does it say here, Jamie? There's a fine when you. Or there was a social upbringing fee or a social maintenance fee.

Oh.

In China, if you had more than one kid.

And then it says, the Sichuan province abolished the three child policy, making it completely laram parents illegally have as many children as they want. The real problem is the lack of women. It's the different. What is the population difference between men and women in China? Think it's like 60 something percent men.

Yeah, that's.

Yeah, that's a problem. That's a real problem. Because the reality, at least in America, America has a very high level of men who are single and have no sex.

Yeah, it's pretty hard. I was one of those for a long time.

Here it is. 720 male inhabitants and 689 female. That's not too bad. That is. What is that about? That's not 60%?

No, it's a little over 50, I think. Like 54. Probably 53, if I had to guess.

That's not too bad.

Yeah.

China's total population decreased for the first time in decades in 2022. And population decline is expected to accelerate in the upcoming years. And that's because of the population of women versus men.

Yeah.

And then the.

The. Sorry.

The gap in genders could increase because the older people that didn't have the one child policy, they're gonna start dying off.

Exactly. Exactly. And so in America, like, what was. There was some study recently, they were talking about the amount of single men and men who don't have girlfriends.

Yeah.

And it's crazy high.

Yeah.

Because everybody's got super high standards.

Yeah. Yeah.

A chart that shows the distribution from China from 1950 to 22. And it seems like it's almost the same the whole time. Interesting. Even after they had the one child policy. I don't know. Didn't change at all. It's so it's only at 51 to 48. Pretty much the entire time.

Yeah.

Interesting.

I. Yeah, I would think it would continue to go down.

You're getting this data from who?

I don't know.

From China. Yeah.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Also, like.

No, we did it perfect.

Yeah, that's fair. Nobody died.

Nobody died from COVID We didn't. We didn't create COVID.

Yeah. Yeah. You.

Why you calling the China virus.

Yeah.

Fucking racist.

Yeah.

Yeah. No one's even mad at China for killing a billion people.

Yeah. The idea.

There's this idea that if I criticize a government, I'm criticizing the people. Like, the idea. If you criticize Israel, you're anti semitic. It's like, guys, let's let go. If I criticize the chinese government, israeli government, I have no problem with you as groups of people. Y'all are wonderful government.

Get.

Y'all are. Y'all are a little nuts.

Of course.

Yeah.

Even with America.

Yes, absolutely.

Like, if you have an american flag, you're racist. Shut up.

Yeah.

America is all of us. You can't let the corrupt government take your fucking flag and decide that that's a colonizer's flag. That's so stupid. That's all of us. The children of immigrants.

Yes.

Thousand percent. And if I go to Europe and they make fun of America. I don't think they're making fun of me. I don't think they hate Americans. I'm not like, how dare you?

Meanwhile, you're probably accurate. I'll probably laugh along with you.

Yeah.

Tell me more. Shit.

Yeah, you're probably right.

What do you guys think is funny about us?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

We're killing everyone with our food. Sure.

Yes.

Let's go.

We are definitely doing that.

Yeah.

I hate that. Become that guy. But I've become that guy.

Well, Russia doesn't allow GMo foods. They don't allow it. You have to. Everything has to be organic in Russia.

I hate that. But I went to Europe and then I tasted, like, the food there, and not that they're the best chefs, but the quality of everything is just so much more clean and pure. And then you taste the stuff in America and you're like, oh, this is, they're right, this stuff sucks. It's killing us.

Well, we just have so much fast cheap food. Yeah, fast cheap food. That's terrible for you and that you never get satisfied. You want to keep eating it.

But like Will Sylvince was telling me years ago, he went to London in like zero seven. I just moved to New York. We were talking and he was like, the chicken in London is actually white. In America it's called white meat, but it's kind of like yellowish. You ever notice? And I'm like, I guess. And then he goes, if you go to London or France or wherever and you eat the chicken, it's purely white because they don't allow you to fuck with it like they do in America.

What are they doing to America to make it yellow?

I don't know what they're doing exactly. You're the guy that researches. I'm the guy that just talks shit. But my friend Mike Albanese was talking about this exact thing unrelated. We were just talking, he was like, dude, if you buy frozen chicken breast in America and you look at the ingredients list, it's way more than just chicken and breast, you know what I mean? It's, yeah, it's like whatever. Nitrate, whatever, preservative, whatever. It's just like a whole, you can do anything.

The preservatives are what really fuck you. You gotta imagine what is a preservative? A preservative is something that discourages bacteria from eating food. So what does it do to the absorption of the nutrients in your body? What does it do to your gut? Microbiome. What does it do to all those things? And that's something that people don't take into consideration. When you eat something that has preservatives in it, you're taking into your body a thing that discourages living things.

Yeah.

And your food is not supposed to last on a shelf. Like if you, I'm sure you've seen those McDonald's cheeseburgers that people take.

Yeah.

Put them on a shelf.

It's just sitting there ready to be.

Has one from what was the oldest one that dude had from the eighties, I think.

I think so. Like 30 years.

It looks perfect.

Yeah, it's, yeah, it looks like he.

Bought it like at noon and it's 06:00 p.m.. Yeah, yeah, it looks like a six hour old cheeseburger. It doesn't look like a cheeseburger. That's 30 years old.

And I hate, but that is a thing I think about. If I'm like, where do I want to. God willing, we have a kid, my wife and me. Where do I want to raise them? Like, oh, at the foundation. The food here is fucked. Do we need to leave just to get better?

You can get good food here. You just. You don't have to do. I have 1995.

That's bonkers, dude.

That's so crazy. It doesn't look that bad.

Yo, it looks fantastic. That's 29 years.

Look at that dude. He's all happy with himself. Look, I got it saved.

Oh, is he eating it? Is that meeting only eats that?

Yeah, I looks.

I think he's gonna eat it.

No, he's faking it. He's faking it. He's not.

Yeah, but that's crazy.

Silly. He looks terrible.

Yeah, poor guy.

Look, he's been eating McDonald's his whole life.

Yeah, but, you know, it doesn't look terrible. That hamburger doesn't look bad.

Looks perfect, especially for that old. Yeah, that's old as fuck. That's a 30 year old burger.

That's crazy, dude. That's crazy. A 30 year old burger should not. A 30 day old burger should not last.

It should be gone.

Yes.

I mean, it should be gone. Like, how long would it last? Like, if rats never ate it and you left it in an apartment and then, like, society collapsed?

Yeah.

And then, you know, there's fries and a burger from 96. It says, wow.

Wow.

That's crazy.

What is wrong with these people that they're keeping a burger?

Yeah, that's actually a great point.

Yeah. Like, what. What kind of people are these also, are they trustworthy?

How the fucking. They could be from Monday?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bags of shit. Yeah, probably shed hoarders.

Gotta be. Gotta be colostomy bags all the way to the roof.

Have you ever seen that episode of hoarders where the lady was a shit hoarder?

No. That would make me vomit for sure.

It almost made me vomit. I hosted fear factor, but Gillis showed it to me, and it's horrific. I don't want to show it because we've showed it before, but watch shit hoarders. This one lady was a shit hoarder.

I'm gonna be honest. I will not watch that.

But, yeah, she was eating the shit.

Oh, dude, I can't do it.

I can't do it. Yeah, I'm getting a little. If you watch it. It's. It's really. Have one last meal in there. Yeah. She want to have one last meal when they were about to clean out the place. She's like, I've been eating poop for 20 years.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What? Is her gut microbiome? Like? Probably better than that guy eating McDonald's. That's the thing.

I'm gonna throw up hearing about it. I'm gonna throw rough.

Oh, God.

Something about eating shit. Like, your body is just like. No, no, no, no. Like, have you ever done your mom's house?

No.

No.

Okay. Your mom's house podcast. They do a live pay per view show multiple times a year where they show things on camera, they curate these things and bring comics on, and they do sketches. It's really fun. They show you things that you cannot see any other way. You would never be able to show it on YouTube. It would be illegal. You'd go to jail. Yeah, but you could do it in this thing. Cause everybody's agreeing. There's people eating their own shit, shitting into a plate, smearing it on their dick, and jerking off. Did he ever send you the thing they made for you? I think. I'm not watching it.

Yeah, I was curious if you saw it.

I heard them talk about it. I think. I don't even remember what it was, but, yeah, they waste their energy. Someone to make you, like, a special, you know, kid, the cameo type stuff. Yeah, fuck off. I'm not watching that.

You know, shitting on yourself for Rogan is crazy.

Yeah, I'm sure it exists, and good luck. I'm not seeing it. Yeah, I don't need to see that. Yeah, I'm sure it was, dude. Because he knows I throw up.

Yeah.

Because when he had me on the show, I almost threw up, like, three or four times.

Yeah.

I can't hand. I can't handle it.

They're eating pizza and shit. They're like. They're so desensitized to it. It's like. It's nothing.

That's weird.

Yeah, they've been. Your mom's house has been, like, highlighting some of the most fucked up human beings that they could find on the Internet for quite a long time.

What a misleading title.

I know.

My mom's house is such a comforting place.

Yeah. I don't know why they came up with your mom's house. Where were you? I was at your mom's house.

There you go.

There you go.

It's a talking shit podcast. It's a fun podcast. It's a really good podcast test.

Maybe they seen both.

Hilarious.

Yeah.

But that pay per view show that they do is rough. Yeah, yeah, it's rough.

And then the normal pod is not like that. That's just a pay per view.

Yeah, but in normal pod, they'll show you some fucked up things.

Okay.

They'll show you some fucked up things.

Yeah.

They talk a lot of shit. Yeah.

But it's crazy thing, dude.

Yeah.

These subcultures are so funny.

Well, there's so many humans out there that are out of their fucking minds that they can gather together and get a community now where, you know, if you're a guy who ate shit, good luck finding your peers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who's your colleagues?

You hide that.

Yeah. Yeah.

Now there's Reddit, and you just find a guy who's like, me too.

You want four chan to get the real shit.

That's true.

Yeah.

You want the real shit.

Yeah.

But, yeah, I put it on a plate. I tuck a bib in, I get a knife and fork, and then I.

Dude, I mean, shit like cutting it up and scooping it, choking on it while it's going down.

Okay.

Yeah.

You see it stuck in between his teeth.

Oh, God.

Chewing the shit.

Please, please, please, let's move on. I can't. I can't do it. I can't do it.

But meanwhile, for some guys, like, oh, anybody upload any new shit eating content? I'm really excited. They get home and they're pumped for it.

Yeah.

The variability of human beings is so extreme. There's so many different kinds of people. That's one of the things that you realize when you do a podcast, for sure.

Yeah.

Because you talk to so many different people.

Yeah.

So many different conversations and you realize, oh, this guy thinks different.

Yeah.

Oh, she's. She just has a different upbringing or she's. She has a way of looking at the world that I didn't consider.

Yeah.

And then, so, like, it adds to your palette, you know, it adds to your understanding of people, because if you just live in a small town and hang around with the same people and you don't like to go online, you go to the same bar, whatever the fuck you do, you don't know how much people vary. People vary so much, man.

Yeah.

There's so much variety on what it means to be a human being.

Yeah, that's actually.

Yeah.

That's very profound.

Yeah.

I don't.

You could be some amazing person who is out there, like Jose Andres going to these crisis areas and feeding people in Palestine and you know that guy Jose Andres, the chef?

No.

Amazing.

Oh, I know of.

He owns my favorite restaurant in Vegas, which is bizarre meats. I don't know if you've ever eaten there before. No, I have not, bro, next time you go to Vegas.

Yeah.

That place is insane. It's a full honey pot, because when you walk in, they have those argentine grills. You know what a grill works? Grill is? It's like these argentine grills where they crank them and they raise and lower over live hardwood. So they have fire with real hardwood.

Yeah.

So the coals and the fires crackling, the steaks are searing, and they raise them and lower them depending upon, like, what. What point in the cook. It is the beginning of the cook. You start off high, like, way above the flames, and you slowly lower it down to sear it. You walk in, the smell. Oh, it's amazing. It's so good. Well, that guy who runs that place is this incredible chef, and he goes. He went to Ukraine. He was feeding people in Poland when the ukrainian refugees were making. When they were trying to flee Ukraine during the beginning of the war, when Russia invaded. And he's over in Palestine right now. Where is he now? Is he in the West bank? But anyway, so this guy goes over there and feeds people. So you have this guy who is this incredible chef, who's this beautiful human being who's, like, really doing something that's selfless, really doing something that's just real charity, feeding people delicious food. Cause he's an incredible chef. And then you have shit eaters on your mom's house. You have people that are punching ladies for no reason. You have chaos. You have, like, the wide spectrum of humans.

And there's so little thought and engineering in society of trying to figure out a way to mitigate all of our problems. Instead, we just put band aids here and band aids there and spend more money and hire more government workers and spend, spend, spend, and nothing gets fixed. No progress at all. If the government was the private sector, like, the government was a business, and other people could compete to be the government, if, like, you know, like you, like, if I phone sucked, androids would just take over. They would do, you know.

But thousand percent.

The reason why androids are so good is because iPhones are so good and everybody for. But if you had. Have a fucking iPhone, bitch, you'd have an iPhone one. Yeah, they wouldn't even. They have no reason to innovate.

Exactly.

If everybody had to buy an iPhone, our phones would suck dick. Yeah, it'd be terrible.

Yeah.

The reason why they're good is because of competition.

Yeah.

And government doesn't have competition. The only competition they have is other government, which is horseshit.

Yeah.

Because it's fake. It's all, like, funded by the same people.

And it's not even profit driven. Like, I worked at a non for profit, a not for profit organization for a few months, just as I was a comic trying to make money. And I was like, oh, no one works hard because there's no bottom line. There's no fear of losing your job. Government employees, they just take whatever time off they want. They don't get fired. It's the cushiest job every holiday off.

Super evident during the lockdowns in Los Angeles. Because the government was so flippant about closing people's businesses because they didn't lose any money.

Yeah.

My thought was like, listen, if you're managing a city, how about this? You want an incentive? How about your income is based entirely on what the GDP of your city is?

Oh, that's sick.

Entirely. So if you go in and whatever the GDP is, let's say the GDP is, you know, $1 billion, whatever. I don't know what it is. Let's say it's that if it dips below that, you lose money. And if it goes above that, you probably get a little peace. Yellow taste. Yeah, get a little taste.

And you're not allowed to make speeches for $250,000 when you're out office.

No, Hillary.

Yeah.

Nobody wants to hear you talk for a quarter million. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's bribery.

No one, you guys made deals.

Yeah.

You, even if it's not a said deal, it's an understanding.

I also, I don't know if this is a reason. None of these, I don't know if they're reasonable, but the idea of getting reelected, I was like, at some point, I was like, oh, they're just, they don't care about making the city better. They just want to get reelected. So I'll go to these special interest groups who I know will vote for me, this voting block that I know a vote for me, I'll make them happy and I'll get reelected. If you just gave a president or whoever one six to eight year term, but one term, and then you're out, I think it would help mitigate a lot of the useless stuff that they.

Do do slightly, but you would still get the vice president taking over afterwards. They would set that person up. They would make sure they maintain power. They try to keep the same staff. The thing about Biden right now, people are like, why does Biden want to run again? Even if he doesn't really want to run again? His staff wants him to run again, because if he doesn't run again, if he doesn't win, they're all out of jobs. So if you're that lady who's the White House press secretary, you're fucked. It's like, who the hell is going to hire you? The next person is not going to hire you to be the White House press secretary. You're terrible. Yeah, you have to stay there.

But you get a job doing something from White House press secretary, they're not gonna be like, hey, Walmart is hiring greeters.

There's a lot of them female admirals, those fucking fake female admirals. A lot of those people like, that you see in the White House, the head of health, whatever the fuck that person is. Like, that person ain't getting a job after Biden gets rid of him. You think Trump's gonna hire that guy?

Yeah, I just figure there's something out, maybe outside of government, but something.

They gotta keep that job. They wanna keep that job. All those people that are working in the administration, they're working very hard to keep that job. And that's why you see all this crazy pressure on Trump. That's a big part of it. Big part of it is because he's going to crack heads. So there's a lot of united people trying to keep him out.

Yeah, I think I was saying this on stage or something, but Trump, I didn't have a problem with Trump, but the noise that Trump brought, I was like, I don't want it anymore. I don't. It's just too much infighting. I feel like there's, he's learned there's like a Trump 2.0 as of now where he's like, let me just not say the race baiting shit and let me just keep it here. And I think most people, casuals are like, I could get on board with this guy.

Well, also the race baiting shit is a little bit more effective now that they let in 30 million people. If you want to talk about the fears of immigration, now people see it. They see the real consequences. I mean, they're letting murderers out with no bail. The whole thing is wild. They're getting accused of murder, they're getting arrested, and then they let them right out. Yeah, this is a wild fucking time. And no one wants to be in law enforcement. No one wants that job. Yeah, it's a hard job. Nobody cares about you. They treat you like you're the fucking enemy. Nobody respects you.

I'm taking your word for all this people respect. I'm very blissfully ignorant, so I'm just taking your word for all this right now. You're selling me. But I don't know.

Well, you know that the defund the police thing is insane.

Yeah, that was crazy.

So then there's this attitude that the police were the problem.

Yeah.

Any crazy, like, one instance captured by one person in the camera, and it just starts a fire keg.

Yeah, well, look, I've been with a. I was with a Damian lemon, black comedian friend of mine, and he got, like. I was with him when we got racially profiled. He was going. They pulled him over there like, you're doing 24. Searched the car, brought other cops. They were searching me like, do you have any drugs? I was. I was like, I've never done a drug in my life. And he was like, you better be honest right now. This is your chance. They sit us on the curb. We go home, and then I look up. I'm like. They kept saying, we're doing 24. What's the thing with 24? I looked up and just googled 24 miles an hour in New York City. The speed limit was 25. So he was under the speed limit, and they still pulled us over. Whole thing. Now he had one of these minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. It pulled him over for going under the speed. Not a 20. There's not a 20 zone.

Apparently it's 25 from what I google is 25. But even 24 to 20, it's, like, crazy.

Yeah.

Who's pulling you over? How do you know?

Yeah.

Especially if you have a fast car like you. You got to look down every 5 seconds.

Yeah, exactly. And so the one thing I think they were bothered by is a fan of his who was a cop, gave him, like, the New York City vest that you can, like, park wherever you want to. And so he was just parking, and they were upset about that. But, like, 24 and then calling backup cars and all that, I was like, there's something here racial going on. I've never had this. I've had a racist thing after 911, maybe one or two. But, like that, I was like, oh, I see why this is. And he was just. This was not that unusual for him. I was like, this is crazy. And he was like, what can you do?

Racial profiling is 100% legit. Yeah, there's no doubt.

So I think when you see these stories. Fellono, Castiola I think was his name. And George Floyd or whatever. I think black people are like, I've been through that, and I've been trying to tell you that happens, and y'all don't want to listen to me. Now you're seeing it.

Yeah.

The storm comes.

Anybody that denies it happens, you're denying humans. You're denying human nature. You know how people are.

Yeah.

The real root of that is poverty and crime and gangs and drugs, and no one's doing anything to stop that.

Yeah.

They're not doing a goddamn thing to stop that. And hiring more cops is, you know, train them better.

Yeah.

Do everything you have to do. Make sure that the cops are taken care of, but gotta fix the problem. You don't fix the problem, it's just gonna keep happening over and over and over again. We had this guy on a long time ago that was a cop in Baltimore. And while he was a cop in Baltimore, and his whole thing was about understanding the systemic racism involved in policing and that he didn't really realize it. He was pretty honest about it. I was one of the bad guys until it kind of dawned on me what was going on. I was the cop that didn't give a shit about the people, you know, I was. The guy would chase people down and yell at him. But then over time, one of the things that they found, they found a police ledger. Like, they found a report of crime in the area in the 1970s. It was like some old file. And he's going through this whole file. Oh, my God. It's the same crimes in the same place, but it's 40 years ago. Like, this is fucking insane. This is insane. How is this possible? How is it, like, 1970?

The same crimes are here today. Nuts. And then he realized, like, oh, my God. This is, like, this is a broken system. And then there's the whole redlining thing. You wouldn't, if you were black, you couldn't buy homes in certain areas. Like, they had systemic racist practices, and then they never did anything about it. Then they had horrible policing, and then, you know, the wire. You got fucking gangs and drugs.

Chaos. Yeah.

And he realized it. It was like, oh, my God. Like, this is. This is a broken system. So then he just started talking, going on podcasts and talking to people about it.

What was it?

Did he have a proposed solution to fixing the system?

I mean, he's a cop. I mean, I don't know if that's his thing. He probably has some ideas. I don't remember. Honestly, I've talked to too many people. But someone's got to do something.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what you would do to do it, but it would be a long process. If you think about, like, you got to go all the it way back to Jim Crow. So you go to slavery, and then what happens after slavery? Well, they don't have slavery anymore, but you know what they do? Do? They lock up black men for almost nothing and then force them to be slaves in prison?

Yeah.

And they create things. They work on the fucking chain gang. All that shit is slavery.

Yeah, it's just.

And they would find ways to prosecute.

Look, we know marijuana.

I've done a ton of podcasts with Josh Dubin, who used to work with the Innocence project, and now he's got his own thing with the Ike Perlmutter center. But they. They find people that are wrongfully convicted and help them get out. We've had a bunch of those guys come on the podcast, including one guy came on who was actually guilty. He was guilty before, and we knew he was guilty, but he got 50 years.

Right?

And then he was talking about how he turned his life around, like, a month after he was on the podcast. How long was it after he was on the podcast? Two months, maybe two months. Cut some dude's head off.

Yeah.

And he was wearing a blonde wig. And at home, he didn't understand new hd security cameras. Like, this dude put a blonde wig on. They got crystal clear footage of him with his goatee on, wearing a blonde wig, carrying some dude's head.

How sold were you in the room with him? How good was he at selling himself as this reformed person?

Well, you know, what does it mean? So he didn't kill anybody in jail, and then he's out now, and he's got this new lease on life, and he's out, and he. You know, he's trying to do something different with his life. When you listen to his explanation of what happened, why he went to jail. So, he was a drug dealer, right? And he had gone to jail before, and some dude owed him money. Some dude. Some. Some drug deal. And the guy was like, fuck you. So he found the guy, and he pistol whipped him, and he robbed him.

Okay.

And he got 50 years for that.

Right.

And it was. It was. He was a habitual criminal, for sure. So we should he have gotten 50 years for that? Well, I don't know. I mean, it seems like. Yeah, it seems like when he got out, he was kind of a bad guy. Yeah, but was he. Was that because he spent 25 fucking years in jail because he was 20. I think he did 25 years for the left, 24 before they let him out, which is an insane amount of time to be locked up in a prison and then expect to acclimate.

So you're saying, did prison make him much worse?

Yeah, prison make him much worse because it certainly can with some people. But we've had people on that were innocent and prison made them amazing. I mean, something about like the constant studying and the accepting your situation in life even though you were innocent. And then a lot of those guys got released and it's crazy to see them like, they lost 20 years of their life for something that was bullshit, complete bullshit. And then you find out the cops and the prosecutors who were involved in their case had done that to many, many, many people. That's another thing that people need to take into consideration, how fucking dirty some people involved in prosecuting and convicting people are.

Yeah.

You remember that guy in Pennsylvania? There was a guy in Pennsylvania who was a judge who went to jail because it turns out that he was getting paid to have kids arrested and sentenced them into juvenile centers.

Wow.

So he was getting kicked back. He was getting kicked back from the center. So the state has to pay for the population. Right. And then you have private prisons, which is even more sinister because then it's not just the incentive of the people that are working in the prison and the prison guards union, which is a real thing. Prison guards unions work to stop marijuana laws from being really. Yeah, because they want people to get arrested so that people go to jail so they have jobs, which is fucking crazy to think. Yeah, but private prisons make money off people being incarcerated. If you make money off a person being incarcerated, now you have an incentive for incarcerating people, just like pharmaceutical drug companies have an incentive to give you drugs you might not even need because they make money to.

And if you're a private prison, you don't even have to treat them that well because they're prisoners. Who's really gonna get upset on their behalf? A few people that we're not gonna take seriously. So if I don't, if their conditions suck, it's prison, they're prisoners, why do I need to treat them?

Well? Nobody cares. Yeah, I mean, there's people that complain. But listen, there's some horrific conditions in prisons right now in this country, and different prisons have different conditions and people know it and they try to get transferred to a prison that's lighter.

Yeah, it's not really a necessarily correctional facility, it's called that. But the aim is not correcting.

It's crazy. It's crazy when you look at the rest of the world, like, how many more people the United States incarcerates. There is a business. Capitalism has flaws. And one of the flaws of capitalism is that if you have something that generates income from a specific action, it's going to encourage that action. It wants more of that. And then if it's making tremendous amounts of money, like the private prison complexes, you're going to be able to manipulate things. You're going to be able to farm it.

Yeah.

Like you said, same thing.

Yeah.

Everybody's got to take the drug and then every other drug. Demonize it, go on television, tell people it's veterinary medicine. We saw it. We saw it in real time. We saw. We saw the devil. We really saw the devil.

Yeah.

We saw the real thing.

Yeah.

And, you know. And now they're forced to admit it. I mean, even the fucking CDC had to take down some insane amount of tweets that they were talking about. Ivermectin really had a dead. They lost in court. Yeah. The whole. The whole thing was the FDA or CDC. I also don't. I'm not sure that they. Well, they took down a bunch of it.

What are you thinking? What's going through your brain when CNN is doing that? Like, in real time, when you're looking at you and being like, that's not what I looked like. What are you thinking that moment as it's happening? Like, the first thought.

My first thought is like, this. This will work for a little bit until I start talking, okay. Because this is not gonna work. First of all, they didn't understand that I had way more people listen to my podcast than they have. Like, way more.

Yeah.

So also multiplier. Yeah. Also, like, that's crazy if you think you're gonna make me look yellow. Like, the video still on my instagram, you idiots.

Yeah.

Everybody could see what I really looked like. I was better in three days.

Yeah.

Like, and you're upset, but because one of the medications that my fucking doctor prescribed. I talked about a stack of medications that I took. I wasn't on tv saying, hey, kids, you don't need to get vaccinated. Just take Ivermectin. Yeah, no, all I said was, I got COVID. I can't go to the. I was doing shows with Chappelle that weekend. I can't go because I have COVID, but I feel great. I took this, we threw the kitchen sink at it, and I feel better. And then I was like, rogan's taking veterinary medication.

You were canceling the show, which is what you're supposed to do.

I immediately realized, like, wow, this is how dirty it really is. It was the same verbiage everywhere. Horse dewormer. It was something that was. They were saying it to make you look foolish. They weren't saying, a medicine that won the Nobel Prize, a medicine that's been used in. It's part of the World Health Organization's list of essential medicines, a medicine that's been prescribed billions of times. We weren't saying any of that. A medicine with this. One of the safest drug profiles known weren't saying that.

I didn't even know any of this.

Horse dewormer because they were banking on the idea that the casual observer doesn't understand how corrupt everything is and that they could just feed them bad information. But in the age of the Internet, when the government says things and everybody knows that it's not true, or when the media says things and everybody knows that it's not true, it doesn't work forever. It works in the beginning. And there's still people out there that think I took veterinary medicine. There's still people that think I was an idiot for taking Ivermectin. Yeah, there's a bunch of people that do. They're surface level readers. They read headlines. They watch a quick clip on CNN. That's their consumption of media.

Right?

But most people are not like that anymore. Most people have a real keen understanding that these people are, like, viciously corrupt and coordinated. And when they coordinated in that way, it was such a dumb checkers move in a chess game. Yeah, it's just a stupid move. You're playing tic tac toe.

This is retarded.

Similar to what people are feeling about the Trump prosecution. Like, you're trying to make this guy look bad, and it's only gonna make me like him more.

Also, you're doing it in a city that's overrun with crime, where women are getting punched in the face on the street. You've got people pushing people in front of trains. You've got so many real criminals that you're just letting out of jail with no bail.

Because we talk about this on the pod, and I don't. Again, I see what I will see is, like, I see more people just doing heroin on the street, which is crazy.

You see him doing heroin, you see.

Him and actively shooting up. I don't feel super unsafe. There's a couple blocks in Manhattan, lower, I guess the low, like, not like, one hundred s and below where I'm like, I walk around a lot and I'm like, I'd be careful on these blocks, but for the most part, I don't feel it. You remember back in the day when you go to the McDonald's on McDougall, right by the cellar.

Mm hmm.

You'd walk into there and you'd be like, keep. Just have your head on a swivel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a few blocks in York where I feel that way now, but largely, I feel okay, I don't. And again, I'm a guy that's like, I'm a mark. So let's. Let's have your head on a swivel. But I don't feel it as much walking through the city. It is definitely. The heroin thing is wild, but it is different.

Right?

It feels different. I also think maybe I was privileged to move in the safest time New York has probably ever seen. Like, I moved in zero eight. I would walk home from New York Comedy club, which was on, like, 23rd and second, to my apartment on 50th and 8th at 01:00 in the morning. Barely even think about, damn, you'd walk that far? Yeah, it's just.

How long did it take?

45 minutes. Like a 45 minutes walk. Nothing crazy.

Exercise?

Yeah, yeah, a little exercise. You just walk off. Kind of the adrenaline, you're just. Whatever.

Actually, it's probably good for going over your material.

Yeah.

And then you kind of. You're going over your set. You're just taking it all in. Taking some time. It was a great walk. It's peaceful at night.

It's.

New York is rarely peaceful, so it's just quiet now. I don't know if I would do that, but back then, it was just like. Wasn't even a thought. And it was so safe. Like, I really probably took for granted how safe New York was back then and now I don't think it's as safe, but I don't. It's not the seventies or eighties for sure.

Yeah, it's not the seventies. I went there in the eighties. I went there for a karate tournament in like, 19. How to be like 86, 87 somewhere around then. And I remember thinking like, this place is nuts.

Yeah.

We went through Times Square. I was like, this is.

I heard Times Square was just like, hookers.

And it was all like, heap shows. Yeah, just weirdos.

Yeah.

And now it's an Eminem store.

You ever see that movie? Was it. What was the movie with Dustin Hoffman and John Voight?

I don't know.

Midnight Cowboy was about, like, gay hustlers in New York. Yeah, midnight cowboy. But that's like Times Square. When people thought of Times Square, they thought, like, these nudie movie theaters and peep shows and just CD drug dealers weirdos. Now it's all, like, fucking. Yeah, there it is. Good fucking movie, man. I haven't watched that movie in forever. Small time con man.

Yo, they made some artistic movies back then that I just didn't realize, like, serp. What's the movie? Not just Serpico. There's a one where Al Pacino's a dog day afternoon, maybe where he's robbing the bank or something and he's trying to pay for his boyfriend's sex change operations. That movie being around back then blew my mind because I assume they were so conservative, that movie would not be an Al Pacino led film.

Well, that was actually a true story.

I didn't know that, but, yeah, dog.

Day afternoon is based on a true story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I. In my brain, this, this was such a puritanical time in entertainment that a movie, even if it's a true story like this, would never get made.

Well, I think you could make that movie today.

Today for sure. But again, we, I, you think society's gotten so much more progressive and entertainment has gotten so much more liberal. Now. This movie makes perfect sense.

Yeah.

And it's about trans acceptance and all this stuff. And this was just a movie.

It's not just that. Now it's in vogue.

You know?

It's like Hollywood has no soul. They're not like, they're not like we're being more progressive. They just, like, think this is, oh, the wind's going that way. Let's go that way. Everyone should be trans. Like South park said, make it a chick and make it gay.

Yeah, absolutely, dude. Absolutely. I I'm, I'm so glad we have, as comics, realized we don't need that validation anymore.

We got lucky, dude. We got lucky because of this thing that's going on right now. Well, actually, I think this thing that's going on right now couldn't be going on right now without the influence of the Internet.

Right.

The Internet has, like, created this mind virus that's sweeping through college campuses and.

Yeah.

And also the universities and the marxist philosophies that they've been pushing in universities because of, they've all been infiltrated by Russia, by the former Soviet Union, and now by China and Russia together. For sure, they're influencing, they push the wokest teachers, the wokest professors, the nuttiest policies. And they're literally doing it to deteriorate the fabric of american democracy. They have plans for it. They've thought about, like, Yuri Bezmanov talked about this in 1984.

I've seen that clip. It's crazy.

Crazy. It's crazy when you watch it today. They were right.

It's very prophetic.

He did it.

Yeah, they did it. Thousand percent.

But, you know, the Internet came along and threw gasoline on all those plans and made it much more chaotic. But in doing so, it also created this other thing, luckily. Cause I think this other thing that we're doing right now, podcasts being completely unregulated and being on even platforms that are corporate platforms like YouTube, pretty fucking unregulated. No one's in flagrant. No one's sitting down with you guys making sure you don't say anything wild.

Correct.

You upload it, and if you say something too wild, they'll flag it or they'll demonetize you.

But that's just, that could not have.

Existed in any other time. And so in the time where you have the most extreme polar social issues, and then you also have the most freedom of speech. And even though they're trying to crack down on it with a lot of these, a lot of. I mean, I don't know how much you paid attention to the Twitter files. Did you pay attention that shit?

A little bit.

Fucking government was literally trying to censor true information that was on Twitter. And they were successful. They infiltrated the intelligence agencies, infiltrated various different social media platforms. And if it wasn't for Elon, we wouldn't know. We would not know if it wasn't for Matt Taibbi and all those people that, like, when Michael Schellenberger and Barry Weiss and all those people who went through the Twitter files, like, look at this. This is crazy. You wouldn't know that the actual government itself is trying to sculpt the way people are allowed to disseminate information and see the world.

Yeah.

Because they've always been able to control everything. And now it's like, well, we can control a little bit here and there, see what we can do.

Tucker Carlson on the other day and explained to me Watergate.

Yeah.

And I was like, what? Like Watergate? There was an intelligence officer who became a reporter, and that's Bob Woodward.

Oh, I didn't know he was an intelligence officer.

Young guy.

Wow.

Became a report, like, right away. First assignment, Bob Woodward. Never happens.

Bernstein is the other guy.

Right.

Which never happens. Never happens.

Yeah.

The people that broke into the office, CIA agents, CIA informants, CIA employees. And then Gerald Ford was on the Warren commission, and he was the only one that they would accept for Richard Nixon's vice president. The other guy, Spiro Agnew, they hit him with, I think it was tax evasion. So he's out. They get rid of him, and then they get Nixon in there, and then they get him with this whole Watergate thing, and then they get rid of him. And then he was the most. Apparently he was the most popular president in us history, and he won the election by the largest margin in us history.

Wow.

And they got rid of him in two years. And it was a complete coup. Like, they. They took him out. Nixon, yes.

Wow.

And one of the. Well, what Tucker was saying, I don't know if this is true, but what Tucker was saying was that Nixon was a. He was very interested in the Kennedy assassination, and he had said to the head of the CIA, I know why they killed JFK. Wow. And he said nothing. He just stared at him. Apparently it's on video or it's on video or audio or whatever it is. You could. You could. So he was just explaining to me, I'd never known that I thought Nixon was corrupt. These intrepid reporters. He's fucking really go getters.

Yeah.

They busted them and they printed this thing and. Wow. Caught him. He's a crook.

I still tend to believe that. One more. I was. I'm not gonna research.

I'll be honest.

I want to pretend I'm gonna research.

But you have to research. If you just listen to what Tucker said. Yeah, just listen to what he actually said about it, we can play it for you. Do we have a clip of that? Is there a clip of that? If you watch. If you listen to what he's saying, you're like, wait, what? Like, I didn't know that.

I remember watching all the president's men and being like, oh, I see how journalism was important. These two guys just changed the course of global history, bro.

That might as well be a Chuck Norris movie, that shit. Straight fiction, son.

Break my heart, dude. My wife got a master's in journalism. I'm like, yo, what an important job this could be.

But it is an important job. Real journalism is very important, and real journalism is critical for people to understand. But I think a lot of the real journalism now is happening independently. It's these people that they publish on substack, and they have a large following because people like Glenn Greenwald, people know that they can trust them. They're going to give you the straight dope whether or not it's uncomfortable for you or not. That's real journalism. That's really important. But as soon as you start working for a massive corporate entity like the New York Times or any other one, Washington Post, figure out what it is. And that's where the. Woodward and Bernstein, that's what they were working for. The Washington police. Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you find it? Yeah. Okay. Check this out. Well, the New York Times does that all the time, but it bizarre. They wouldn't have an issue with the government tapping into your phone.

They work for the government.

Are you kidding?

The New York Times? The New York Times is a conduit for the lies of government. That's what it is. It's their tool. And they're perfectly aware of that. I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer. I mean, I've been around the New York Times a lot. And there are. Yeah, there are a lot of really smart people there for sure. Even now, I would less so now. But there's still, I think, smart people there.

There are.

I know some. And they know, but they think that, that, you know, it's worth it because they're bringing information or. I don't know what they think, actually. But no, they're, they're tools of power. And that's like the one thing that you're not allowed to be, even if you think the power is good. Like maybe they all support the agenda of the US government, destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population. Maybe they're on board with that. Even if they are, they shouldn't do it because the job of the media, the press, is to keep power in check. You are kind of like the seatbelt, right? You know, you make sure that things don't go too far. So. And they're not doing that. They're acting as a willing handmaiden.

When do you think that switched?

I think it's been the case for a long time.

I mean, if you look at what.

Happened in Richard Nixon, which I, of course, did not understand at all, Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA and with the help of Bob Woodward, who was a Washington Post reporter who had been a naval intelligence officer working in the White House. Working in the Nixon White House. And then he shows up like a year later and he's this brand new reporter. He'd never been a journalist at all. He's a naval intel officer. The famous Bob Woodward. We all revere and he's at the Washington Post, and somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of the Washington Post. He's the lead guy in that story. Well, I worked at a newspaper. I've been in the news business my whole life. That is not how it works. You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on the biggest story. But he was. He was that guy. And who is his main source for Watergate? Oh, the number two guy at the FBI. Oh, so you have the naval intelligence officer working with the FBI official to destroy the president. Okay, so that's a deep state coup.

What else? How would you describe that? If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say? And yet the way it was framed, in the way that I accepted for decades was, oh, this intrepid reporter fought power. No, no, no. This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind to bounce the single most popular president in american history, Richard Nixon, from office before the end of his term and replace him with who? Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren commission. Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon's vice president? Well, because Carl Albert, the Democrat speaker of the House, told him, you must choose him. We will only confirm him when they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasions bureau. Agnew of Maryland. So you have a complete setup, like an absolute. Gerald Ford, the only unelected president in american history, actually sat on the Warren commission. Something else that I accepted at face value. Until I looked at it, I was like, that's completely insane. You didn't want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation, the assassination. Okay, you're fake.

Yeah.

He was on the Warren commission. And so, sorry for the long story, but the point is, like, that. That happened in front of all of us. But the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it. The people who broke into the Watergate office building from which the name is taken. Watergate. I think it was six of them or seven of them. All but one was a CIA employee. That's real. It's like, look it up on Google. So the whole thing. Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in american history. In the 1972 election, he was the most popular by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity. The most popular president in his reelection campaign, and two years later, he's gone, undone by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI, and a bunch of CIA employees. You tell me. What that is. Those are the facts. Those are not disputed facts. That's not crackpot wild.

Yeah, I mean, I need to look into this.

I just.

Wild. Yeah, I need to look at it too. He said it. I'm taking it at face value and.

I'm just telling everybody I'm not taking it value. I'm not taking it at face value. Cuz he said it.

That's why it's been confirmed by other people to me.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's crazy. He didn't lie. If he lied, he'd be in real trouble. And the people be saying what he's saying is, yeah, true.

That's fair.

Bunch of stories written about it.

That's fair.

No, that's actually what happened.

I.

We talked about this on flick. We had Vivek Ramaswami on the pod and he's great. I think he's a very poor communicator of his message.

Really?

Yeah, because he'll talk about the deep state and all these things that when, if you're like me, who's a casual guy, who I think is a larger percentage of guys that really want then who really want to do the research, they're like, this is deep state. Deep state deep. And he'll talk about it as if it's just like conspiratorial, dark, sinister, rub their hands together kind of. And he's like, no, basically it's just bureaucracy. There's a lot of unnecessary jobs in the government. I just want to cut the fat out and we might lose some muscle by cutting it out. But I think these people are just kind of like parasites, bureaucrats, just unnecessary jobs. And they are controlling things in a way that is just for self preservation. And they think they know what's best for us, but they don't. And it's kind of arrogant, but it's like well meaning, well intended.

I think they frame it in that it's best for us.

He's like, really?

It's self preservation.

Yeah, but he said, I think they truly believe, and it's kind of like an elitist thing where they're like, these people don't know what's good for them. We know what's good for them, which is very snobby, but the intention is we know what's good for them. Let's do this. And maybe at the root it's self interest, but if he called it the managerial class or bureaucracy instead of the deep state, I think people would listen more. They'd be more inclined to be like, let's see what this guy has to say. But a president talking about the deep state is a tough sell to the large majority of people.

It is. But it, like, rings true with Trump people.

Yeah, yeah.

Deep state. Like, that's a good statement.

Yeah.

Like, that sound.

And if he can get on a platform where he can really put his thought, because I think his brain dysfunctions at a high level. I think he thinks this is how we're gonna hear it. He's like. I mean, like, okay, these. These people aren't as smart as me. They need to hear deep state. That's what's gonna work.

Well, he's also. What is he, 38?

Yeah, he's 38, I think.

Very young.

Yes.

Incredibly young.

So he's learning this. This is his first jaunt, right? This is his first expedition into public speaking in front of the whole world about important issues. Yeah, he's going to learn from that. Just like we were saying. There's Trump 2.0, Vivek 2.0 in, you know, 2028.

Vivek 2.0.

Great.

Vivek 3.0. That guy's going to be fantastic.

Also, Vivek 2.0 will be in his forties, which is easier to accept.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get a little gray in his hair.

Yeah.

That's a little bit of life experience.

Life experience.

I'm 39.

I'm not sure, man.

You know, how can a guy your age be present?

That's crazy, buddy. I could barely run a household. What are we talking about?

Exactly, right? This guy's younger than you, and he wants to be the president of the United States.

Insane.

Yeah.

But I do think once he put it like that, I was like, oh, that's a guy I would vote for. I just want to get rid of the unnecessary jobs. My wife's. Both parents work for the government, state government. They don't do anything.

The thing is, if all that stuff that Tucker's saying was true in the 1970s, 1972 or 74, they're still doing that. They're going to do it to him. It's probably what they're doing to Trump. There's an element of that. Folks, even if you fucking hate Trump, you should be very concerned about this stuff, because if this sets a precedent, if you can prosecute your political opponents and Republicans start doing it, you're going to be furious, too. If all of a sudden. So he gets out, and then there's a new political guy. Let's imagine that Trump wins, and then it's Gavin Newsom, and then the Trump administration starts going after Gavin Newsom and bringing him into court and having republican judges run them up on charges. Like, if that. And republican prosecutors go after him. That's not good. That's not good for the country. It's not good for anybody.

Yeah.

And you're all going to feel the same. The same people who are in 2016, like, Hillary got the election stolen because of Russia in 2020 were like, shut up, Trump supporters, you guys are crazy. And it just flips. And you guys are going to feel the exact same way if whoever you like on the Republic, on the Democrat side wins. And then they do this.

People have to understand that almost every election for the past 20 years has been disputed. There was the John Kerry election that was disputed.

I remember Trump.

I'm not.

Sorry, sorry. Bush and Al Gore.

Gore, yeah.

Dangling participles. Right?

Hanging Chad.

Word, phrase. That's hilarious. It sounds just as dumb.

Yeah, yeah.

The hanging chads. Stupid shit.

You know, that's crazy. I think they said Bush won Florida by like 500 votes. And this, I think about like, domino effect. And the domino effect of that is insane because eight years of Bush is what got us eight years of Obama. I think people were so done with Bush that they were like, let's give a black guy a shot. And then eight years of that, the white people that were kind of angry about Obama getting elected were like, fuck this, let's go to the guys that's gonna piss them off the most Trump gets elected. I feel like the domino effect of those 533 votes is crazy.

It's also Iraq and Afghanistan.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Yeah. It's the invasion. The invasion. The initial invasion of Afghanistan, initial invasion of Iraq.

Iraq, for sure. Absolutely no proof of that. What's over, just 533 votes changed history forever.

Yeah. That's one of the wildest ones it's ever been done.

Yeah.

The weapons of mass destruction. That's a wild one.

Yeah.

And that. No one, no one went to jail for that. No one got in trouble for that. Like, wow.

Yeah.

How can you do that?

Yeah.

None of us questioned. I remember in college, one guy being like, this isn't real. And we were all like, what are you talking about? He was like, this is George Bush, senior. What war did his dad fight?

Yeah.

And we're like, oh, fuck, yeah, I didn't think about that.

Right. And then you have George Bush, the one that won in whatever it was with the dangly chads. Then you have 911. Right? So he was a super unpopular president in September and he gets 911, happens. And then all of a sudden, everybody's on his side and the whole country's united, and then all of a sudden, we're invading Iraq, like a year later. Like, what? Like, what the fuck is going on?

And that is. I remember when the election was happening, they were like, no. Wartime president loses, Bush is going to win a second term. And he won.

And when Bush's dad was in office, you know, when the first initial invasion of Iraq, that was a weird one, too, because it was like Iraq invaded Kuwait, and then we invaded Iraq, and then we stopped short of overthrowing him. Yeah, it was weird. Yeah, we'll leave you there. We're gonna get out of here.

Yeah, I was just, you know, term just struck me. Remember Patriot missiles? I was five years old, and we got to hear about Patriot missiles, and I was like, that's fucking awesome, man. Patriot missiles. We're such good guys.

And they had scuds, which sound wacky.

Yeah, exactly.

Scud.

Yeah.

The marketing of shitty ass missile. Great marketing, though, honestly, in 1990, Patriot missiles, yeah. We're gonna kill thousands of innocent people. But patriotism, they also good.

They did a lot of practicing then.

Yeah.

They use stuff that they know they weren't supposed to use. And one of the things they did was use depleted uranium rounds, really, which is go right through tanks. They fuck tanks up. But the problem with depleted uranium rounds is it creates horrific radiation. And all these soldiers were, like, going through the wreckage of these things and picking up pieces of it and bringing it home as souvenirs. And radiation sickness was a giant factor. They called it Gulf War syndrome. After the first war, after Desert Storm, for our soldiers. For our soldiers, massive amounts of miscarriages and child birth defects, and people got sick, and they called it Gulf War syndrome. And they were denied. They were denied, but they were denying that it was real until investigative journalists dug into it and found out that it was most likely the result of depleted uranium rounds.

Jesus Christ, man.

Yeah. Apparently depleted uranium is the shit. If you want to, like, fuck up tanks and stuff. Like, it just shoots right through them. Use as weapons. Because it's so dense, it self ignites at high temperatures and pressures, and because it becomes sharper as it penetrates armor plating. According to the International Atomic Energy Agency, as depleted uranium penetrator strikes a target, its surface temperature increases dramatically, according to Oak Ridge Associated University's museum of radiation and Radioactivity.

Wow, that's crazy.

So it's like the ultimate round for, like, stopping tanks. Just goes through them like butter. Boom. But the problem is it's. Depleted uranium is, like, insanely toxic.

Yeah.

And so Google, like, whatever happened with Gulf war syndrome? I mean, the article I'm looking at is from recent. We sent. We sent some to Ukraine recently. What does it say? Oh, we sent some to Ukraine. Of course. We probably got a bunch laying around when they made it illegal.

Yeah.

The Pentagon said it will send depleted uranium armor piercing ammunition to Ukraine as a part of its new assistant package, a step senior russian official called a criminal act. Here's a look at the concerns. Wow, there's a lot of big gaps in here. So this is now. But Google Gulf war syndrome cause.

Man, the fallout from just serving our side in war.

Chemical warfare, particularly nerve gas. Okay. Possible causes of Gulf war syndrome. Possible causes include chemical warfare agents, particularly nerve gas, or PRI. What's that word? Priadostigmin bromide, which is given as a preventive measure to soldiers likely to be exposed to chemical warfare agents. So that might have fucked them up, too. Psychological factors such as post traumatic stress disorder. But what about Google Gulf war syndrome? Depleted uranium. Just do. Instead of cause just depleted uranium. Depleted uranium is both a chemotoxic and radiotoxic element. Depleted uranium may be one of the causes for the so called Gulf war illness. Proposed effects of depleted uranium may be especially harmful if mitochondrial DNA is damaged. Did depleted uranium cause Gulf war syndrome? Click on that. What does that say? The illness suffered by soldiers who took part in the Gulf War soldier was not caused by inhaling depleted uranium, according to a scientific study. Instead, researchers believe Gulf war syndrome may be due to soldiers being exposed to the nerve agent sarin. So there's probably a bunch of misinformation that's put out by official people in regards to that, but I would imagine that would play a factor if depleted uranium was used.

And I know that a lot of the people, one of the things that they talked about, there was a documentary done on Gulf War syndrome, and these people that were actually going through the wreckage of tanks wound up getting it and they were talking about it that they didn't know.

Yeah, the burn pits that Jon Stewart talked about.

That's a big one. Yeah, that's a big one.

He's such a hero for like, actually bringing attention to that burn pit. Greatest.

That's fucking terrifying that they would burn all their stuff and anybody would be downwinded. That would be breathing in toxic fumes. I have some buddies who served over there and they would talk about how horrific it was.

Really, man. That's what I'm saying. Even if you survive war, you come home. Who knows? You're gonna have Gulf war syndrome.

Like, how little do they give a fuck about you if they burn toxic shit and it goes downwind and just runs through the camp?

Being a. Being a government, I think this. That's why there's, like, some level of sociopathy involved is you have to be okay with this baseline level of innocent death. I think it's just what it is. And that's a crazy thought.

Well, that's the justification for Israel bombing Palestine.

Yeah.

Right. You have to be. This is war, and this is Hamas's fault that those innocent people are there. I'm like, yo.

Yeah.

Not our fault.

That is a crazy way to think people. Hey, this is what war is all about. Like, says who?

Yeah.

So it's the only way to do war. Is this the only way that this can actually be done? There's no other way that takes longer and kills less innocent people? No way. Yeah, this is it. The only way.

Yeah.

You want to swat a fly, you got a swat fly with fly swatter. That's it.

It's also easy to talk like that when you're on the winning side of.

It, or you're not anywhere near it or not.

Yeah.

You're here.

Yeah. Yeah.

You're here in America.

Yeah.

I was watching some video footage that I thought was legit, and it's not. And it's. I sent it to Shane Gillis, and then I realized after I sent it to him, hey, man, I think this is a fucking video game. I think. But let me. Let me show you, because it's so crazy. Because it seems so. It's a YouTube, but it seems so realistic. I'm stunned by how good video games are. Now check this out, Jamie. I just sent it to you.

Remember the ghost of Kiev we were reading about when the Ukraine and Russia war started? Video game.

Video game footage.

I bought in. I was like, this guy's awesome, bro.

This looks so good. This looks so good. I thought this was, like, some high resolution government footage where they were just showing you what they can do. Now what? Look at this. Go full screen because this is. This looks so dope. Look at this.

Oh, shit.

By the way, now looking out on a bigger video game.

Yeah.

I was gonna phone, though, with my 56 year old eyes. Look it. Look now. Look at this. Look at the fucking ripples. Look at this.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's crazy. It sounds crazy.

This is incredible that this is a video game.

Yeah. Yeah.

It does look like a video game on the big screen.

This makes me want to play video games.

It looks good. Yeah, I want to play this game.

Yeah.

Jesus.

How good are fucking video games?

It's only gonna get better, dude.

That's a real problem.

You're gonna live in that in five years.

100%.

Yeah.

And you're gonna love it.

Yeah.

You're gonna be happy. But there was some stuff. Back it up a little bit, Jamie, because they go back and forth from black and white. They show the. The rockets headed towards it a little further. Yeah, right there. Back it right there. Watch. Check this out. Look at this. When they show, like, the. Whatever sensors that they're using in this video game to track missiles. Check this out.

Oh, this is crazy.

And then they have a camera on the missile.

Wow.

Now this seems crazy. Real is crazy.

Real. This looks like you're looking at it through. Yeah, look at this shit.

Wow.

So they're going through different filters, different ways of looking at it, and then later on, they show the actual missiles headed towards it. Look at that.

Yeah.

See if you get the. Where the actual missiles are.

That's crazy.

That's it back up right there. Right there. Where it's black and white. This is crazy. So this is wild shit, man.

Yeah.

The fact that this has been being done through, this isn't the transition that I saw earlier. I don't know when it is. It's a long ass video.

Yeah.

But it's pretty incredible.

No.

Looks so realistic.

Yeah.

We're gonna be the matrix, where you're just plugged into a thing and you're just living percent. I just hope my life is good in that matrix.

That's.

Well, it's gonna be better than the Matrix because it's not gonna be like a regular life. You're gonna be on a dragon. You're gonna be in fucking. You're gonna be living in never never land. You're gonna be living in some crazy Narnia world.

Yeah.

You can be able to do anything you want. What is the game? Arma three. Three?

Yeah, I mean, this is brand new. April 21.

I don't even know what that game is.

Literally. This video came out yesterday.

It's fucking nuts, man. Just stumbled across my feed, and I thought it was legit. Yeah, for like, 38 seconds, son.

That game is. I mean, it's crazy what video games are doing. There's now, like, I watch the NFL a lot. When a guy scores a touchdown, they use, like, a six K camera. And you look at that and you're like, oh, that looks like a video game six k, the more crisp reality looks like the video game.

Now, I was watching a video yesterday on YouTube that was a review of the Google Pixel eight pro, and apparently it has AI in it that can give a smile for your kid's face.

Oh, that's creepy.

It's correct. Because he said the guy was reviewing. He said, why one kid is never paying attention, never looked. Well, then get a picture of him not paying attention. Yeah, that's fucking weirdo. Like, you're changing your kid's personality to be like this smiley guy who stares at the camera.

Yeah, it's a scary thought.

You can manipulate people's faces.

Yeah.

So you could swap their face around. So someone, Lex tweeted yesterday this picture.

Yeah.

Response. Someone made that look, and it's pretty. Well, have you seen the new Microsoft software where they can take a photograph? Yeah, just a photograph. And then with your voice have you say all kinds of shit in video and it looks seamless.

Wow.

Seem. I'll send you that, Jamie. It looks fucking seamless. You see it? You're like, this is incredible. How is this that good? It's so fucking good.

Now it's gonna be really fun.

Here it is. I'll send it to you, Jamie, I think.

I think. Yeah, we're done.

Yeah, this is it. All my attention, all my time on listening. So instead of doing something else, I.

Just listened, listened and listened. Because I'm a true believer that if.

You'Re really bad at something, like listening, for example, it only shows you that.

Hey, you have to practice listening as much.

The sound is not synced, cracked correctly in this video. I think it's generating.

It's gonna get better and better.

Yeah, but this is not how it looked on my phone. My phone, it looked different. There's like a little disconnect here. What's up?

Blaming your phone for these wrong things.

Yeah. No, no, no.

He's.

It's just. It's going from the computer.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

But also, even if it's not perfect, this is the worst it will ever be, right? That's what I always think about.

Right?

Oh, it's not. It's not. You can tell this is the worst it will ever be, and it will get exponentially better and better, faster and faster.

And I think they only need 30 seconds of you talking.

That's crazy.

Yeah. The Mona Lisa's wrapping this. Give me some of that.

Absolute photography. That's crazy, bro.

That's Mona Lisa.

That rapid crazy.

And it looks pretty good.

Yeah.

And you would not have imagined this five years ago.

Five years ago.

Five years ago, you'd be like, what is that? How these. That must cost a billion dollars to do.

I think three years from now, you're not gonna be able to tell at all.

No. Especially guys like you or I had so many hours of us talking. Yeah, there's so many hours of you talking.

But the good thing now then is probably we can just say whatever we want to. And I'm like, that was fake. Crazy, hateful stuff, but that was fake.

I wonder if there'll be a way to tell. I wonder if. I think eventually there won't be. I think, yeah, there's probably gonna be a way to tell for a little bit, but then eventually there won't be.

Yeah.

And then we just don't take it that seriously, hopefully with it.

Because there's a lot of other things you could edit on a phone now. Like, with the Samsung phones, you could delete things from the background. It has a. So, like, if someone's in the background, like, fuck that, dude.

Yeah.

Just put a circle around them.

Yeah.

It goes away now. He's not in your picture anymore.

Yeah.

And then they could. They could literally move the position that you're in. So if you're in the center of the thing, you're like, I want to be behind that park bench. They just put you behind the park bench, dude.

For my special. Luckily, we got prize picks to help me pay for the cost. And then we did, like, an ad read in the middle, the background. We filmed it on a green screen, and my guy Kev created that background in, like, 30 seconds. And you can't tell the difference. It looks like, maybe slightly different, but so many people are like, did he stop the middle of his taping to do an ad read? It looks so good.

It just added this stuff into which probably before your guy got to it, but this has just been added to video editing software. Some of the AI stuff we've been talking about, some built into the actual editing software. It's like, what just happened on screen was they changed the small amount of diamonds into a large amount of diamonds. And it now, like, works in the video that they're using.

Wow.

I mean, this is just changing things, leading things right out of there. That would take hours before. Wow. It might take a few people do it. And now. Instantaneous.

Didn't even know it was supposed to be there.

The videos now. I'm gonna send you this, Jamie, because this. This video is entirely AI. The whole thing. This is a Sci-Fi trailer for a movie. It's entirely AI, and you would never believe it. And again, what you just said is only gonna get better. This is the worst it's ever been. Worse it's ever gonna be. Yeah, it's gonna. It's gonna get better real quick. But this is. This whole trailer that we're gonna watch is entirely generated by AI. There's no actors, there's no scenes. This is all done on a computer.

This is not a Sci-Fi movie. What the fuck?

Two close ups.

Dude, the people look completely real.

Look at the ocean. Amalfi coast.

Beautiful.

It's not the drone shot from the Amalfi coast with the people moving. Yeah, everything looks real.

This is not a snippet from a natural geographic documentary.

I mean, what the. That looks at that crazy dog, man. That's crazy. Do you remember how bad the dogs looked in I am legend?

Yeah.

The tigers. The lions rather remember that.

Yeah, I do.

There's a scene when Will Smith is going through New York City and the lions are out, and the lion takes out a deer in front of him and see if you can find.

It looks so CGI, it's so corny.

They shouldn't even put it in the movie.

It's.

I wonder if at the time you think it looks real, and then you go back and you're like, this is the one.

I remember at the time, I was like, get the fuck out of here.

Because I watch a movie, like, ten.

Years later, this deer look fake. Dope Mustang. Now look at that mustang. Fuck, yeah. Driving around a Shelby.

Yeah.

So watch this. He's hanging out here and he sees this deer, and he's about to shoot this deer because he wants some food.

Yeah. Yeah.

Watch this line. Look how fake this is.

Yeah.

It looks terrible.

Look at fake.

It looks so bad.

It looks so fake.

It looks almost as fake as his marriage. Almost. Not quite. Not quite.

Almost.

Some people live in hell. They really do. They stay living in hell.

Yeah.

Oh, what a sad case that was, man. He meant so much to me as a kid. And now it's just with one moment.

Where he couldn't take a joke.

Yeah.

She couldn't take it.

Yeah, one moment.

And the whole guy's reputation is gone now. All they had to do is just laugh it off.

I know he was laughing.

Gi Jane mild.

Not even remotely. And this is a one. It's. Dude, it would have been one thing if she wasn't trying to be famous and he just brought her into a joke. If she wasn't a celebrity. But he's not making fun of your wife. He's making fun of a celebrity.

Not only that movie.

Yeah.

Also she's fucking awesome in that movie.

Yeah.

She's in like, Navy SEals, she's training for. In that movie.

Yeah.

Okay. God forbid.

Beast.

Yeah.

God forbid you compare my wife to a navy seal. How dare you?

That was like a big thing in the movie where Demi Moore said, suck my dick.

Did she really? That's fire, dude. That's fire.

Yeah, she's a beast.

Yeah. I would love for my wife to compare compared to this Navy SeAL saying, suck my dick.

It's hilarious.

Also, she's still hot in the movie.

Yeah, I remember that.

Bald.

Yeah, it's great. Yeah, what's the big deal?

Yeah, Jada still looks great.

Whatever. Alopecia.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Pretty uniform.

What drove me crazy. I saw a video when we were talking about it on flagrant. You're looking at stuff, ready researching. And there was a video of her being like, all I can do is laugh about it. That's all I can do. So then someone made a joke. That's your opportunity to laugh about it. But you just took it so poorly.

Well, she just rolled her eyes, gave sideways face and then will, whatever's wrong with them. Yeah, that's what it was like. Whatever's dysfunctional, whatever he's trying to prove to her, whatever chaos is in that relationship. And maybe it is alopecia. Maybe it's like, that's just so sensitive that he realized, fuck, I gotta go slap him. It's like the hot button topic around the house.

She's losing her hair.

I don't know. But either way, like, what a terrible decision. Yeah, what a. And also. But also it showed you how vacant Hollywood is. That they gave him a standing ovation just moments afterwards.

Insane for playing a guy who. There are abuse allegations around.

Yeah.

Richard Williams.

Yeah. Yeah, crazy.

There's. Yeah. Just.

What a crazy fucking thing.

Yeah. Just the whole thing was nuts. And it just showed how insane Hollywood is, how disconnected they are. And then it took the next day or so for the rest of the world to be like, hey, what the fuck?

Yeah.

And then it all fell apart.

Yeah.

But those dummies were willing to go along with it, like clapping. Even though he just smacked a guy and ruined the oscars.

He assaulted a guy who's, what, half a foot shorter than you maybe and weighs eight pounds.

Yeah.

Chris Rock said he's the least intimidating guy that's ever held a microphone.

Well, I have something to say about it.

Fuck him up.

Really?

I think so.

Okay, fair enough. I want to find out.

I don't know, maybe he'll get you. But the point is, it's like he's, this is not a threatening guy. And to go up and physically assault him, it's just crazy. But it's just, you know, people lose their minds, man. They lose their minds.

They, yeah, I remembered, I remember thinking about this in like, oh, seven. I did like a student film. Obviously nothing. I barely got paid anything, but I remember I went to go get Chipotle, and then the people freaked out. They're like, hey, if you want something, you just tell us, we'll go get it for you. You don't need to. And I remember being like, oh, I could just ask for anything I want. Y'all would get it. And they were like, yeah. And I was like, that's crazy. So imagine actually being famous. Imagine being Will Smith, right? No one says no to you ever. If Will Smith was like, fly to Columbia, buy me coffee beans every day before I shoot, they would find a guy to do that.

Right.

How do you come out? Normal? There's no way to be normal and healthy and all. It just, I can't see it.

Well, you have not participate in that. You have to not be that guy. You have to recognize that that's a dangerous road to go down. You lose your humanity.

It's hard though, I imagine. And the one good thing about comedy is you will get humbled. I will bomb at some point eventually, and it will remind me.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm not it better than anybody else.

Yeah. Comedy is a different animal. If it's very hard to be that cocky and be a comedian. Yeah, get humbled. That's one of the reasons why fighters are so nice.

Oh, dude, I was, yeah, I hung out with Henry Cejudo and Kelvin Gaslily, came to my shows in Tempe. Just the best. Tank every fighters. Great. Henry Cejudo is hilarious, by the way. Like, he's giving you shit, he's taking shit. He has five minutes of stand up is actually not that bad. I kept telling him, I was like, dude, I've seen more of your stand up than I have your fights, and it was pretty good. Kelvin, just the nicest guy. But yeah, there's a humility to maybe Chris Rock got a lot more humble. Maybe a lot of people hoping that happens to me.

Well, Chris Rock, Chris Rock woke up for sure, because Chris Rock stand up got better.

Yeah.

Like everybody that saw him after that like, Tom Segura went to see him when he did the arena in town. He goes, bro, he was on fire.

Really?

He goes, it was like, bring the pain, Chris Rock. He was like markedly better than he had been before. He goes, it was amazing. Yeah, it was amazing. And that's what it was. It was like he realized like, fuck those people. I was trying to get those people to like me. I was trying to do movies and I got slapped and they applauded that guy afterwards. Them. Yeah, he's too good for that gig anyway. That gig sucks.

Yeah.

And then he had to try to go do jokes after he got smacked. Yeah, which was the worst saying.

I'm not going to address it.

I mean, that is the worst. We tried to like do material.

Yeah.

After he got smacked, the whole thing was crazy.

We're not, we're not talking about anything else. Chris, you're my hero. We're not talking about anything.

Well, you didn't know what to do.

Yeah.

Never would have imagined that that would have happened.

There was a moment when in the moment where he goes, will said something, he goes, boy, I could. And then he just goes on and finishes giving the award. I know why he didn't. And that was the mature thing, but I wish he had just unloaded. Yeah, I wish he had just gone it. Cuz I'm positive a thought crossed his mind and then he decided against it. And I would love to see Chris Rock just.

I think the best thing would have been to do would be to say, no one's gonna do anything about that. Like someone could just come up here and hit me and you guys don't do shit.

Yeah.

And you want me to host your awards? Yeah, like say something real in the moment, like, yeah, but how? That's a Monday morning quarterback. Yeah, who knows what?

And you risk looking like a bitch being like, nobody's gonna help me.

Which.

True, you. Will Smith's a big dude.

Yeah.

You're not, but it still. You look like a bigger bitch getting slapped. I mean, like, are you guys not gonna do anything about this? You look like a Karen or whatever.

Well, you can't. I mean, it's like Jim Carrey said.

He should sue Will Smith for like $50 million. And I was like, yeah, that's. You're on board with that? This guy's career is forever altered because of that. Yeah, this guy made some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world. And we're gonna talk about the slap right there with that, if not before that.

But the comedy, like, his audiences went way up. His ticket sales went through the roof.

Well, that's good.

They went through the roof. I was talking to the people that handle his shit, and, dude, it was crazy.

Really.

Everything was just selling out.

That's great.

At least, because everybody wanted to see him, and they wanted to see what he had to say.

Yeah.

And for a while, he wasn't even talking about it.

Yeah, he's.

Cause Chris is smart, right? He's not gonna just come out with material right away and start talking about people are gonna film it and record it and tell everybody. So he waited. He waited until he really developed the material, really figured out what to say.

Yeah.

He is my comedy. Him and Chappelle and Patrice, I found when I got older, but I remember being kids and being like, oh, fuck, this is what stand up can be. And that's a big reason I even entered stand up in the first place.

Yeah, his first two specials were, bigger and blacker and bring the pain are two of the best of all time.

Dude, bigger and blacker. Coming a year, like a year and a half after bring the pain, it's unbelievable how good it is to have come out with all your best stuff that you've been doing for however long as a comic. Probably 1215 years at that point. Bring the pain, historic. And then a year and a half, you have a special that's arguably better. Insane, man. Like, I think about that all the time.

Yeah, those are two of the bangers, too. Like, if you go and look at, like, all time greatest specials, those two are definitely up there.

Yeah.

A guy like that, just get smacked. Also, to see a guy like that hosting the oscars, like, you can imagine Sam Kinison or Richard Pryor hosting the oscars, like, the fuck out of here. Why are you doing that? Yeah, be doing that anyway.

I mean, that was the path back then, right? I think this is a little bit of Monday morning quarterback, and we're back then it was Eddie Murphy. Do stand up, be a legend, go to movies, be a legend, do whatever you want to after that. And Chris was doing the stand up was still insane, I think. Now even never scared. Fantastic. You watch that, you're just like, wow. Four specials that are just like, what was it, this third special, but all just historically great. And then you got the movies and you got that, and now you're just like, I do whatever I want. He was right there.

It's.

That was the path.

But the thing is, they all wanted to be in with Hollywood. Everybody wanted a movie or a television show. They all wanted that Hollywood money because that's the only path that exists.

All that for the Internet.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah. This is a very interesting time for media.

Yeah.

Very interesting time for what people consume.

Yeah.

I think now we might not have as much fame or power, whatever, and that's fine because we get to kind of do what we want, and that's great.

I don't know. I think people are more famous now. There's more guys doing arenas now than ever before.

That's true.

That's true. Yes.

Stand ups had a real boom.

Hinchcliffe sold out Madison Square garden two nights in a row in an hour.

I mean, kill Tony. I did kill Tony after I did Rogan the first time. This is like, think the last time I was in Austin, but I remember watching him and Tony, and I started around the same time, and I'm watching him and kill Tony, and I'm just like, holy fuck. You are amazing at this.

He's the best ever. He's the best host of those kind of shows ever. He's so quick.

Yeah.

I took Tucker to kill Tony.

Yeah.

That moment with him and Cam Patterson was so bad.

Tucker didn't even know he's going on stage. I had no idea.

Really?

Yeah. I wasn't even gonna bring him on stage. I showed up with him. I'm like, we were having dinner.

Yeah.

And I said, me, him, and lex Friedman. And I said, do you want to see the club? And he's like, yeah, you guys got nothing going on tonight. Let's go kill Tony's there tonight. It'd be awesome. It's a crazy show to watch. It's, like, one of the best live shows you can go see. So we get there, we're backstage, and I text Tony, hey, I'm coming. And I'm bringing tucker Carlson. And so we get backstage, and he texts me, and he's like, come on stage. And I was like, really? I go, all right. I did it once before with post Malone. Post Malone. Had no idea he was gonna be on kill Tony. I just brought him to the club and then brought him right on stage, and he was like, this is crazy.

Yeah.

And that's what we did with Tucker, too. Just brought him on stage, and he goes out there. Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan and Tucker Carson.

Wow.

The place went nuts. And he was great.

Yeah, he seemed really good. The way he handled the camp thing. Both of them handled that so well.

It was hilarious.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, dude, post was amazing. Post is amazing. He was great at it.

I've heard he's the nicest guy, too. I wonder how he is in this one.

He's so sincere. David Lucas said he looked like an unemployed crocodile hunter.

That's good. That's good, dude.

Amazing. Yeah, amazing.

And he just takes the jokes and he's good.

Oh, he's great.

Yeah.

He's a sweetheart of a guy. Yeah, him and jelly roll. Jelly rolls, but on it.

Jelly roll is my favorite, man, I love that guy.

Such a beautiful human being.

Truly, like a beautiful soul. Him and that mexican ot are like kindred spirits to me. We had them both on separately on the pod. And I was like, I said to Ot, I was like, you need to collab with that guy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That Mexican OT and jelly roll would be amazing.

Yeah.

And that Mexican OT's manager and I are fairly cool. Greg, get a jelly roll, dude. Cuz that guy.

That'll happen.

I got mexican ot is my intro for my special, and I didn't realize what a pain in the ass that can be. And luckily, Ot's manager, Greg, was like, we're gonna push. We're gonna get this done. We're gonna get this done. We're gonna get this. That's the only reason I could get it cleared from, I think, umg or whatever the label was, so.

Yeah.

But ot was also like, he hit me up afterward, like, hey, man, I love the special. I love the dance. Thank you for using my song that way. Just like, so sweet.

Yeah.

Like, you did me the biggest favor.

Right.

Ever. And then to thank me is just like, what a sweet kid, man.

Yeah.

He's a dope guy. Yeah, I like him a lot. I like him a lot.

Also got the texas manners.

Yes, sir.

I remember he asked a question. May I show you something? And I was like, what a well mannered, sweet kid, man.

Yeah. Who sings gangsta rap well.

Yeah.

Who will probably beat the shit out.

Of you in, like, a country flavor. Yeah, country flavor to his rapping.

Yeah.

He's very unique.

Yes.

And Cowboy Killer was the first song that I ever heard. Tony played it for him.

Really?

He's like, you got to hear this. You ever heard of that Mexican OT? I'm like, no. He played it for me, like, oh, shit. I was like, this is good. And then I started listening to his other stuff. They're all bad.

Fantastic. Like an artist.

Yes. Yeah.

Who just grew up in rap, and that's what he knew. And now I think he's gonna expand more and more and more.

Yeah.

I love that kid.

Yeah. He's great. And he's young too, man.

Yeah.

Massive future.

Yeah.

Truly mega talent. Him and jelly both.

Isn't that cool thing about doing a podcast too, that you get to meet all these people?

Yes.

The Brian Johnson guy was fascinating. And you have these ideas of these people, and then you sit down and talk with them and you're like, oh, that was completely wrong. I guess that's probably most human beings. But you get this idea of a person and then you talk to them, you're like, wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

But it's also like, other people get that too. Like, you're doing a service for other people and it kind of like informs other people. Like, hey, maybe I have misconceptions about people just because I see this public image and. Yeah, that's who they are.

Yeah, exactly. Ties into what we were saying earlier is about like, letting other people's opinions affect you. I was listening to some podcasts, I forget what it's called, but the guy goes, most people are very flippant with their opinions. They just throw it out there. Oh, I hate that guy. I love that guy. They don't really think much, and then we take it so seriously, good and bad. But most people just throw a thing out there, not really being informed, and they don't really care. It's not that big a deal.

Yeah, it's just talk. Louis Ck told me this once. He goes, it's just talk. He goes, but when it's written down, it seems like it's more than just talk, but it's like kind of same way people have always talked. Yeah, sure, written down. Or if you see someone saying it in a video. What did he say about me? Yeah, it's just talk. People talk shit.

Yeah, Louie was another one. I I even said this to him when he was getting so much love. I was like, a fucking Louie. And then we had him on the pod. He was great. He's obviously so smart, but I remember even I told him that he was like, a lot of the praise was like, overdone. And I'm sure some comics didn't like me. I was like, I was one of them. He's like, I don't blame you. And I was like, what a cool, honest moment we had where I didn't have to pretend. And, yeah, it was just, I think that's the one of the best things about the podcast thing, is talking to people and being like, oh, I had a preconceived notion of you, and you're very different than what I thought.

Yeah, we get informed the more people we talk to.

Yes.

The more people we talk to, and the more conversations we have, we get more informed as a human being. I think one of the things that limits people is the access they have to other interesting people. And I think that's also one of the things that is really exciting to people about podcasts, why they like it so much.

Yeah.

Because now they. They can listen to interesting people talk. They can listen to cool people talk, and they kind of get in on these conversations, and they see a real conversation where it's not planned out. You don't know what you're going to talk about, just talking.

Right? Yeah.

How much prep do you do typically, for interviews? Because sometimes I'll prep for days, and it's just, like, endless. And then sometimes I'm like, I think I'm okay.

It completely depends on the subject matter.

Yeah.

You know, like, if there's been people that I've had to read books on astrophysics.

Yeah.

And string theory and try to understand what the fuck they're talking about, or AI. And, you know, it depends. You know, some people have read their entire book, and I knew they were coming on months in advance, so I prepared for it. And then other people, I'm just like, can't wait to talk to that guy.

Yeah.

Like that mexican ot. Zero prep. What's up? I love your music. It was easy. I wanted to just get to know him in the moment. I don't want to, like, I heard when you were a child, like, no, I wanted to come out, like, organically. I want to have a real conversation with the.

Well, you know, I'm sure you've heard this Larry King, like, does just did no prep for any interview ever.

Really?

Yeah.

There's a clip of him and Seinfeld talking. It's so funny where he clearly doesn't know who Seinfeld is. This is at the end, the height of the. Of Seinfeld's fame. And Seinfeld day is like, yeah, my show is going off the. You've never watched an episode. It's kind of a big deal. And Larry's like, no, I didn't. I didn't know. And. And Schultz will always be like, that's just his excuse to be lazy. But I truly think he's like, maybe. But he was also like, I know the best, most organic conversations. If I learn all about this guy right here, and my skill set will allow for the best interview to happen that way.

Well, the worst conversations are conversations that are canned. Right. Where when someone's talking to you, they don't really care, but they're pretending they care and asking you these things because they have, like, bullet points they want to hit.

Yeah. Yeah.

Those seem canned. They look, they seem bullshit. You're probably better off doing it the Larry King way with some stuff. But Larry King didn't interview theoretical physicists.

Yeah.

You know, if you're. I need to know something about what you're talking about to be able to have my own question.

Right.

I can't, because there's some things that are so nuanced and they're so complicated that you. You should have some understanding of them before you talk about it. But then other times, it's like, oh, guys, a comic.

Yeah.

You know, like, let's talk. That'd be easy. Yeah, I love comics. Let's have. Talk some shit. How do you write? What do you do? How do you do it? You know, where'd you start? Yeah, I want to know. You know, it's like, and having genuine curiosity, I think that's a major, that's a major key. It's like, actually be curious. And some people aren't really curious. They really just want to wait for their turn to talk.

Yeah.

They can't wait. When's it gonna be my turn to talk? You know? But you ruin your own show that way. Even by being selfish, you're actually going against yourself. You're not realizing it anytime, but you're actually poisoning your own show by being selfish.

Yeah.

The best thing that I've learned in life is try to actually listen, especially. And the more nervous you are, like, even this pod, I. Come on, I'm like, just try to listen and respond to what he's saying in the moment and just stay in your own body and do that with everything, man.

With. With other people, too. Like, when I'm, you know, hanging out with someone, just a regular person, I'm so much better at talking to people now than I was before I did a podcast, because I'm so much better at not talking over someone, waiting for them to talk, trying to get the most out of what they're trying to say, trying to. Instead of just listening and then just me talking, trying to figure out what. How did you come to that conclusion? Did you always think that way? Like, when, when did you. What did you learn? How'd you learn this stuff? Yeah, like, what. What inspired you to start doing that? You know, it's like that. That's interesting to me. So now when I have conversations with people that suck at having conversations like, I can't wait to. I got trapped at my fucking club by a buddy of mine, brought one of his buddies from high school, and his buddy from high school was drunk and he's rich. And he kept wanting to tell me about this business that he started. It was, you know, blah, blah, blah, and I this and that, and I turned it into a hundred million dollar business and this that.

I'm just telling you just so you know who I am. So, like, oh, my God, he was so bad at talking. It was just the clunkiest, shittiest, braggiest. And then I eventually go, I gotta go.

Yeah.

I wasn't even talking. I was like, you're just talking at me. Like, I don't care about any of these.

He just needed to impress you that badly.

Yeah. He needed to let me know that he was successful.

Yeah.

And, I mean, within seconds of meeting him, he's telling me all this stuff. It's exhausting.

So I get, I used to get really irritated at that stuff. And then I think was Schultz said to me one time, because this kid at a diner, like, started interrupting our conversation and telling us about his education, how smart he was. And then I was, like, so annoyed when he, when we left. And Andrew was like, yeah, but you gotta feel good about yourself. That that guy, for whatever reason, felt insecure around you and felt he needed to impress you that much.

Right. So then you know someone from something, right? If they know you and you don't know them, they need to let you know they're a big deal.

Yeah.

And insecurity. And it's like, I used to take it as malicious, and now I'm like, oh, that guy. I'm not great at it, but I try to remind myself, oh, that guy is meeting probably, he's probably listened to you thousands of hours in his head and he wants so badly for you to like him and he just doesn't know how to do that. And he doesn't know, hey, if I just have a real conversation with Joe, he'll walk away being like, that's a nice guy. And then he just overcompensates with, let me impress him because I did all these things and show him what I've done. And if you, there's like, oh, okay, well, I feel bad for that guy a little bit.

Yeah.

I'm not great at it by any stretch.

I feel bad for him because it sucks to be that guy. It has to do that. And it doesn't feel good. Like, there's that never works. Like, no one ever walks away going, that guy's amazing. You walk out of there, you feel like that guy just jizzed all over me.

You know?

It's really what it's like, do you.

Know that guy's worth $100 million?

You know what else doesn't work that people still do? Is name dropping. Does that shit work at all?

No, no, no. That's. That's a rough.

We're partying with Leo and, you know, like, what? What?

Yeah.

Please, please don't do. Please, please don't do that to me. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less.

Does it work on anybody? It might be one of the least effective strategies for getting people to think you're cool. Name drop.

Yeah.

It's truly. I think it works on, like, people who don't know anyone, and they're like, oh, this guy knows so and so. But even after about the third name, you're like, oh, he doesn't know anybody.

Yeah.

The more names you name, the less those people like you.

Yeah. People turn on you, too. If you're that guy, that name drops, like, on podcasts or named it like, people like, yeah.

Yeah.

If you're the guy who talks over everybody.

Yeah. Yeah.

I used to do it way more. I said, like, early podcast wasn't good at it. So you have a thought in your head, just want to get it out, right. Not even. Even if you're not even being selfish. It's like you just looking for a chance to. And then I took me time to just look at the big picture of it and go, this is not smart. And then that's when I started using pads, too. This is big, too, because sometimes I have a thing, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm gonna forget this.

Yeah.

Well, this guy's on this ramp.

Yeah.

I just look over here, scribble and write it down. And if I do that, I'm good.

Yeah.

You just gotta learn how to. It's a skill you're learning. It's a skill like any other skill.

Yeah.

You learn how to negotiate a conversation.

Yeah.

And get the most out of the person. I want to. I want that person to shine. I want them to have the most interesting thing.

Yeah.

That they could say.

Yeah.

I want to help them say it.

I think about that because sometimes I'll get in my. Because I don't feel nearly as confident in podcasting as I do in stand up. And then I just remember, oh, stand up is something I've been doing 17 years now or whatever. Podcasting. I've been doing five, six, whatever. Like, it's gonna take a while.

Also, you guys have a unique setup when there's a lot of folks there.

Yeah.

You know, there's. There's four of you.

Yeah.

And then there's a guest.

Yeah.

When you got five people talking and no one knows when they can chime in and when they should chime in, it's hard.

Yeah.

Being a team player is big.

It's like.

Like, I could try to get my thought. I try to remember. I could try to get my thought out now. But is that. If I'm just gonna be talking with everybody, is that gonna add the best podcast, or do I just fall back and wait?

Headphones.

Yeah.

Headphones are a huge key.

Yeah.

Because then you don't talk over each other. Over talk is terrible to listen to.

Yeah.

You know, like, Ari, when he comes on the podcast, we do protect our parks. Soon as he gets drunk, takes the headphones off, starts talking over everybody. Like, Ari, you can't have two separate conversations. This is a podcast. Millions of people are gonna hear this.

Oh, I need to give Ari his flowers, too.

Amazing.

It was one of the big, like, emphasis. I looked at that, and I was like, oh, this guy didn't shop this at a streamer. He just put it online, and it looks better than pretty much anything I've seen on Netflix.

It was cool because all the candles and shit.

Yeah, a gorgeous special. I told him this. I was like, this is. I just. Once I saw that, I was like, oh, this is the bar now.

That's.

What's it set there?

Well, it was also, for me, it was very important to see, because Ari had been telling me these things for decades and had never figured out a way to do it on stage and decided to do it all in one special.

Yeah.

Because he was telling me all the stuff about his upbringing. He had a crazy upbringing, man.

Yeah.

Like, super religious. Went to Israel, stayed in the kibbutz or whatever the fuck it was. Reading the Talmud all day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was all in.

Yeah.

And he's like, this is bullshit.

Yeah.

What am I doing? And becomes a comic, which is wild. And when I met him, it was like. I guess it was the nineties. And he was like, maybe. Did Ari start working at the store? It might have. I think I was on. It might have been fear factor days. I don't remember. But it was like he was a young, young guy who was just starting to do stand up. And then the more I got to know him. I'm like, what did you do?

Yeah.

Wow. I'm like, why don't you talk about that on stage? He just didn't have the chops. And so it took a decade plus, two decades before he developed the chops.

Yeah.

To be a real solid state. And I'm glad he did, because then he became a great comic, and then he realized how to do that material as a comic.

Yeah.

Which was perfect.

Yeah.

I think that's one thing I used to try to push myself to do this material that was personal. Like, I hope I can make my dad's story into a bit or something to end a special with or whatever. But now I realize I don't need to push. I wasn't good enough to do that back then. And now, as I'm getting better, I think I can dig deeper, be more honest, be more personal, tell more personal things or whatever. And then I'm ready now I feel, yeah.

You could figure out a way to make it good.

Yes.

Yeah. It's a tricky job, man.

Yeah.

Tricky fucking.

Especially, like, somewhat potentially painful things that you're trying to make funny. I remember I would see some comics come up and be just so awkward, say all these horrible things they went through, and they'd be like, I don't care if y'all laugh. This is therapy for me. And I know you're just saying that because you're nervous, because you're not doing well, but you gotta understand how fundamentally wrong this is. Not therapy. We're not here to help you through this. Go to therapy, make it funny, and then come bring a dust.

I remember there was some dispute at just for laughs, and some comic yelled at some other comic that if you're not using your comedy to promote social justice, you can go fucking.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

That is hilarious. That's a person. That can't possibly be good.

There's no way you're good.

You might be terrible on stage. Your comedy must be awful.

I think you also, that's probably a young comic, probably because I know I had these ideas of what funny was, and I remember watching, I think was called talking funny or funny people or whatever, with Ricky Gervais, Chris Rock, Louis CK, and Jerry Seinfeld. And then there's a moment where Ricky, who's the youngest comic in the room, is talking about these jokes and, like, I don't want to do those jokes because those jokes are easy. I want to impress guys like you. And then Jerry goes, you know what would impress me? Leave that joke in. Don't take that joke up. Leave that stupid joke in. I'm impressed.

Speaker one, just kill. I like stupid jokes.

Yes.

If stupid jokes a tell. Attel's brilliant and silly at the same time.

Amazing.

It's. These aren't like super complicated jokes. You're like, oh my God, this guy's changing the world.

Thousand percent.

Amazing.

Thousand percent.

I just want to laugh.

Just make us laugh. That's your job. Just make it funny. And then if you can make us laugh on your terms, the way you want to, God bless. Yeah, that's a better level. Sure, sure. But is shooing laughs just because I, I don't want to know?

Fuck that.

Doing that because you can't get laughs.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah.

Anybody was like trying to educate these people. You're 28 years old, you live in a duplex. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, shut the fuck up.

You're not gonna fix the world. I know you think you're gonna, but also like, that was a thing that Hicks brought to comedy that was like a real problem in the nineties.

Yeah, I hated Hicks for a long time because of this. I still won't listen to Hicks just because the ripple effect of Bill Hicks is like, buddy, you are, you created a monster.

He did create a monster. There were so many fucking people that wanted to be hicks.

Yeah.

It was so much so that the punchline in Atlanta used to have a green room, and on the back of a green room, people would write in the wall and it said, quit trying to be hicks.

Oh, thank God.

And when I tore that down, Jamie kept saying he was gonna, Jamie, the owner, kept saying he was gonna get me that fucking. Cuz they, they took the wood down.

Yeah.

So I'm like, get me that.

Just the plank that says don't be.

Hicks, just quit trying to be hicks. Let me put that up here.

Yeah.

Cuz I remember that like, ah, there's so many guys, so many guys who wanted to be that guy, you know, because he was, he just left you feeling like even, even Richard Jenny, who's like one of the all time greats, I remember Richard Jenny saw Hicks and he was like, I watched him, I was like, I gotta do more stuff like that. Yeah, well, you don't. Yeah, you really don't.

I actually remember though, God, who's the comic? His name is escaping me. He's a clean comic. He's massive, super funny. Brian Regan. He was saying he was on somebody else's podcast and that guy was saying about Brian Regan, I remember, Hicks was really dying to go see you at X, Y, and Z. So Hicks loves Brian Regan.

Yeah.

So you don't need to be Hicks. Just be funny. And Hicks will be looking down at you being like, that guy's funny.

Well, Hicks really was that guy.

Yeah.

Like, Hicks was talking about stuff in the nineties before the Internet.

Right.

So he's talking about all these really esoteric subjects and interesting things because he was just reading a lot.

Yeah.

So it was, like, real. He really understood what he was talking about. Yeah, that's actually that guy. If you're not that guy, don't be that guy. It's just be who you are. But people like that, like, you know, occasionally someone will come along and they influence everybody. You know? Kinison for sure did that. They come along and they're so mind blowing. Like, jesus Christ, you know, Joey Diaz influenced everybody around him because everybody, like, he was. He was so quick with his punchlines. The setup punchline was so fast, rapid fire. He got to it so quick. Like, God damn, I got to pick up my speed.

Yeah, yeah.

Pick up my game.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that what you picked up from?

I learned a lot from Joey, for sure. I learned a lot from also having to follow him because I would bring Joey on the road with him because I couldn't follow him. So I was like, this is the best way to figure out how to follow this guy. Bring him with me everywhere. And also, I wanted to laugh.

Yeah.

You know, and when you're around Joey, it's just a party.

He's unbelievable. He's awesome.

Best.

Yeah, we had him on the pod ones, and I was like, this guy's awesome.

He was just here for 420 weekend. It was fucking glorious. It was amazing. He's on fire because he comes to the club and he gets so much love that he's so free and loose. The moments when he went on stage, it was incredible because the audience didn't know he was there unless they had paid attention to the instagram. So Friday night, they definitely didn't know he was there. When I do those Joe Rogan and friends show.

Yeah.

I don't let anybody know. So Schultz will pop in. Shane Gillis shows up. You know, Gaffigan shows up. No one knows who's gonna be there. And they go up there, and everybody's like, this is crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, that's what's fun about it. And so when Joey goes up, they didn't know who it was gonna be. And then Joey Diaz, everybody.

Is he thinking about moving here or no?

Yeah, we're working on him.

That's great.

We're working on him.

That's great. He's gonna love it.

He's just too happy here. And the problem with New Jersey is it's like there's too much road bullshit. Hacky.

Yeah.

Fucking comedy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, there's good comics in New Jersey, for sure. There's great comics. Voss lives in Jersey. Bonnie McFarland lives in Jersey. This is great comics in New Jersey. No doubt about it. But there's also a lot of scrubs and a lot of, like, just real. Just dumb comedy. Just dumb.

I was at the mothership yesterday, and I'm watching this open mic and just seeing all the comics. First of all, I remembered, I don't miss open mics at all. I just remembered that pain sitting there waiting.

Horrible.

But I was thinking, I was like, yo, Joe fucking did it, man. He made this. I was thinking, if I'm a young comic, Austin wasn't even a place I was thinking of in 2007 or eight or whatever when I started. Now LA is not even a place I'm thinking of. It's either Austin or New York. And Austin is easier to survive. It's better weather, it's nicer people. I think I would come to Austin.

It's also a more supportive environment because the environment, especially at our club, is specifically designed to foster talent. It's designed that way. There's two nights of open mic nights. It's designed. Kil Tony's there. It's designed for that.

Right, right.

So from the ground up.

Yeah.

You have a chance to go. You have a chance as a person who's just getting on stage the first time ever to go up in the best club in the world.

Yeah.

And you have a chance to go and work the same stage that Joey Diaz goes up in. That Dave Chappelle went up.

Yeah.

You get to go into that. The little boy.

That.

That room is amazing. Yeah, that is a tight little room. And you could get that itch.

Little boy felt like the belly room.

It's like the belly room and the or had a baby. Yeah, and the. The fat man is like the main room and the or had a baby.

Okay, I see that.

Sorry place.

Yeah.

I mean, I was hype. I. I've always said comedy works. Is the best club in the country in Denver. Still love it. I just got back from there this weekend.

Amazing.

I am excited to kill Tony, and then I'm excited to see. This is my first time in Austin since you built the club, so I'm excited to see the whole thing.

It's a wild. How many days you're in town.

How many days you want me to be in town? You know, I mean, you decide.

Come by tomorrow. Do a set tonight.

Okay.

Absolutely. Done. Done.

I got a show tomorrow at 07:00. But we got, I mean, we have big name headliners are coming in every weekend, which is great. The local guys get to see the people that are there. And all the door staff, they're all comics. They audition with their act, you know, so it's like a development process, like the store was, but more. I got organized.

Yeah.

Not as chaotic. And run by a comedian. Yes, and run by a comedian that doesn't have business partners. I don't have anybody else.

And you're not do yet. You're, you don't rely on that for income.

Exactly.

Which is like, it's a, it's a mitzvah.

It had to have happened the way it happened.

Yeah.

I mean, it had to. There had to be this crazy moment in history where the whole country gets shut down except Texas. And so we move here, and all sudden I'm doing shows with Chappelle. We're doing these outdoor shows where everybody's getting tested. And then we started doing indoor shows, and then we started doing industry. I'm like, I gotta, I gotta open up a club. Like, we need a hangout. We need, we had the vulcan, which is a great place. Vulcan's a great.

Vulcan's awesome. Oh, I did the vulcan right after you came on flagrant the next day. That was the last time I was in Austin.

It's a great club. Vulcan's great. It's a great club to kill in two.

Yeah.

But I was like, this is an hours we, you know, they have like techno music there, EDM some nights. And, you know, it's like, I want, we need to set something up. And I had that Spotify money, and I'm like, listen, if anybody's gonna do it, it's gotta be me. And if any time is there time to do it, it's now. Because people were willing to move so that they could go on stage. Because La shut everything down for so long that so many comics like, you guys are doing shows. And then guys like Derek and Assant, they came out here early. Brian Simpson, he came out there early.

Derek Poston is so goddamn funny.

He's getting so good, dude. Man, he's getting so good.

I saw him before mothership. Cause he, I saw him host Andrew show. He's a good host. He's a good host. And I was like, I'll bring them on the road. And then I thought, you know, one thing I try to do to pay forward how Schultz helped me is that once I get to know you and I think I know how you're funny, I'm like, hey, well, let's watch your set if you want, and I'll see if I can give you some advice. I'm not the end all, be all, but I'll try to help you how I can. So I had Derek feature one show, and then I watched the set and I was like, buddy, I barely got. I got some tags for you, but I don't see, like, structurally, oh, you could do this. You could do x, y, z.

It's.

You're so fucking funny. Unbelievable.

Well, the level of the guys coming up is very high. And there's also, in Austin, there's so many places to perform just on the block where the mothership is. So you have the mothership right down the street. You have the sunset strip club. You have Brian Redband's club right over there. You have the creek in the cave right over there. You have the vulcan. You have the Velveeta room. There's some place called the green room. Then you have Cap city. You have a bunch of different clubs. On the east side. There's like hipster clubs and lesbian shows, and there's, like, fucking comedies everywhere.

Dude, you have made this a comedy hub. It's a marvelous thing. Like an insane thing that you've done.

It's pretty wild.

It's insane. To move LA over to Austin is crazy, but make it better. Yeah, make it better.

Make it truly make it better and make it completely disconnected from all those people that'll poison your act with their fucking Hollywood bull.

And actually, I said LA. To be honest, I meant New York. This is what I heard New York was when I went to New York. It wasn't friendly, but it was. You have to pay to go to most open mics. $5 in the free open mics. This is when the alt scene was kind of running things. So if you talked about anything that wasn't like a video game or anime, they would judge the fuck out of it and be brutal. There was no support built in. So you've taken the best parts of New York and brought it to Austin. And again, a city that's much cheaper and much less harsh. Being poor in New York is rough. Being poor in Austin, it's not that bad.

It's not bad. You can get around. Traffic's not bad at all. It's very light, it's very easy, and the people are cool.

And the traffic, the clubs is all this little, like you said, all this little radius. LA, if I want to hit three spots, I'm driving three, 4 hours.

Well, you can go to the improv, you know, the laugh factory, if you're not that, if you're doing the store.

Improv, if you're in at all three. But when I was, I started in open mics. You're driving all over. Over the place.

Yeah.

All spread out.

Yeah. If you're doing open mics, you're fucked. There's not a lot of open mics in LA, but there's a. I mean, there's a good amount, but not in comparison to the amount of comics. Yeah, there's a lot of comics and a lot of wannabe.com. And there's also in LA, you have those people that really want to be actors, and they think that this is their platform. Anyway, brother, great to have you on. Tell everybody about your special where they can get your second special.

Second special is Gaslit. It's on YouTube right now. I'm very proud of it. I think hopefully this is my next evolution as a comic and just making the things I truly believe funny instead of just doing contrary stuff. Yeah, dude, I tried to do it big. That's so this is traditional indian dance called, but not him. It's a south indian dance, and then it's to that mexican ot.

Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, yeah. So check it out on YouTube.

Please support.

Thank you, guys.

Everybody. My pleasure, brother. Tell everybody your social media.

Oh, it's Akash Singh, AK, double A S h. Akash Singh comedy on TikTok. Everything else is pretty much akash thing. Oh, and YouTube is Akash thing comedy. All right, thank you so much.

Appreciate it.

See you tomorrow night. All right, bye, everybody.