Transcribe your podcast

I'm there in Gary, and you're listening to the laughs of your life, the podcast where I talk to influential people about laughter from their first memories of laughter to feeling left out to the moment where if they didn't laugh, they cry.


Next minute around goes out comes a Snickers like, cool, that's mine. Awkward. I was like, I'm going to pick that off.


Anyway, all these things are coming out in between people's bags that I like and these like we've been on the holiday. So like this is like clean knickers, dirty knickers, you name it.


They're all there. I was like, sweet suffering. Nora, what is going on?


Singer Lyra is my guest this week. She talks to me about the teenage disco mortification we all know heading to a U2 after party on the back of a bike and how the importance of family outweighs everything else.


I hope you enjoy. Lyra, you're extremely welcome to the last Lyra. Oh, thank you so much for agreeing to do this.


Oh, sure. I was delighted to get them and I was like, I'm going to be on our podcast.


My friend Marad is like obsessed.


She like was like I was actually puking on my way to work on laughing so much. I was like, oh my God, gas so well, especially for her as well.


You know what I'm kind of using this time, as awful as it is that no live performances are happening and as terrible as it is and as much as everyone misses them, I know that you probably have a bit more downtime than you usually would. So I said I would strike and get in there and ask you why you're probably a little bit quieter. If you even are quieter, maybe you're maybe you're busy.


Well, I am at the moment because I'm stuck in quarantine for two weeks, so I'm usually here and my mom's on my own, so I have plenty of time. So I was delighted to get somebody to talk to. Simon's board is second Bedi, if you like.


I mean, if I could dieties roots myself, I would give it a whack that I bought. I am.


You're lovely. You look fabulous. You Lyra. Shall we get started with our laughter. Yeah. Mizer your first memory of laughter. This one I literally took so long. Like I got like I was like I've never laughed in my life. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I'm going to do. I was so nervous. But then I was like going back over photos and I saw this photo which oh my God, to the day I was like I was just like howling in bed looking at the photo.


So I was going to my very first wedding. My uncle was getting married. I was like Tiny.


And I got to be the flowers myself all dressed up. And Lily and I was like, cos I was absolutely beyond, say, walking down the aisle and I was throwing away the confetti anyway next. And I turned around to my cousin's like standing there what he's like most open, like doing this kind of weird face.


And I was like, oh he's so funny, look at me and think I'm Betty. And I was like howling point and being like these in the convertible.


Anyway, little did I know Porsche was absolutely choking on the confetti. He was swallowing the whole thing and he was getting stuck in his throat and he was gagging and choking. And there's me pointing. No, like laughing. And I'm thinking that he was eating the confetti. And as a little one, I thought this was the best thing ever. And then we watched back the wedding video. We still watch it to this day. And there is your man in the background, initially nearly puking on the confetti.


His mom comes over, was giving him the Heimlich maneuver thing.


And I'm no little girl like, oh, look what they're doing. That's so funny. Your man's choking to death. So the Heimlich had to come into it.


I was there because he was he had so much competition, his most because he obviously thought he could eat it, but he was OK in the end.


Oh, he was absolutely grand. Mikey, you can't shut off L'Alpe. He just has his mouth open 24/7, but like it was gas.


Tell me about your childhood, because I'll tell you what. We had you on the show on to a farm a few months ago.


And I remember when you left the studio, Owen and I were just like, she is gas.


We just thought you were very funny. And so when we were I was brainstorming about I really wanted to get really strong women on the podcast this season. And you came to mind. So that's why I reached out. But I, I want to know where that confidence and funniness and all that started to tell me about you as a child and your family settled.


Well, so it's me, my brother, my sister, my mom, my dad. And I thought I was just growing up.


But like my mom, 24/7, we'd go to any parties and she'd literally like when I say old lady dresses like that, all we were dressed in and like there'd be matching hats and there'd be frilly knickers over nappies and there would be like frilly socks and we'd have the brightest pate and shoes on, like we always stood out in a crowd.


So like being a child like that, you kind of have to either get with the program and go with it and be that kind of like out there. Funny, kind of like operand thing kind of child or as you're just sitting there in what looks like a toilet holder and be the shy kid. So I was like, thicket, I'll embrace this and I'll go to hell for leather with us.


So we'd go anywhere and everywhere, like, oh, you look so beautiful and we just play along with it. We get off. That's the thing. Everyone stand us up on top of their fireplace and like, sing a song now sing a song. So I suppose I just from a young age, was just always just put into that kind of spotlight scenario. And I just was like kind of grew my confidence from there because I after that was no option.


My ads would kill me if I didn't start singing and then they like play the Teignmouth. So now I'm like, I can't play like you can. I'm like a cat. And this is like the typical Irish mom thing. Like are you can you can. Oh yeah.


And you get, you get, you get the pinch on the arm like a go up there now and do it and the debt pinch of like do as you're doing it. I send you to speech and drama or whatever it might be. Yeah.


And you're like just because you see I can do it. Does not mean I can do it, by the way, I mean, I wish it was that easy, but I can't go. I thought that's where I kind of got my.


So I have to ask your siblings then, do they go with the flow or do they reject it?


Oh, they always like I was always the one that they were like Usher. She's as mad as I have and like she's always going to be that like I was just always the one who was joking, laughing, like even growing up, like I used to drink poodles out of water outside.


So literally I was just faking royals like I was the untamed child, all my pictures.


And I'm younger. I have like a big court in the middle of my forehead from literally bashing my head off the floor to get the bottle of water out like Star who was like, that's probably why I'm so fucking crazy.


I was going to ask, how are you? Are you OK?


Yeah, they're probably like, just just let that one off. Just let her know she's fine.


OK, well well, we're talking about you drinking water to portal's the first time you felt laughed at.


Oh holy Moses. I'll never forget it because like it's not even like a sad thing that when I talk back about I was like, you are fucking asking for that. Like, I'm laughing at me right now. I went to this underage disco and my nan at the time is like really good friends with just like Lady of the Town.


And any time I was miserable, like, oh, she's so beautiful and her earrings is so nice and everything so nice and blah, blah. So anyway, one day my nan is up in her house and she was crying out loud cause my nan was like, fuck it, I'll take those. And she'd bring them down to me and I try them all on. I think I was so cool, my new clothes.


So anyway, this one time she gave me this fur jacket. Obviously the fur jack was way too big for me. This is like a woman. And I was like, Ondrej, this girl is probably like fourteen. So I cut the arms off to fit me and I just it hit me is like Dangote Inauguration's. I'll just use the scissors and make up my face. So I wear this fur jacket to this party and then but the fake leggings, which I was squeezed into, like, you know, when you're like, I swear I'm a size six, you're like, you're really not.


But if you buy them, then that means you are.


I am. I was like, yeah, these are my niazi sexy.


I grace, I'm hanging out everywhere with them and then I get myself fake nails, you know, the one prelude you stick them on all the diamantis on them girl the pink tips. I was like I thought I had my hair bleached today but it was obviously not professionally done. Like I get it done. I was orange and I went to disco and I was walking and thinking I was absolutely lord mayor and paying your one. Anyway, I dropped my money, I bent down and one couldn't really bend down in the pants.


I couldn't pick up the money with the fake nails.


And all my friends that were with me just roared like I thought this was so serious because I thought I was like cock of the walk in this outfit, like and I was like, I can't believe you're laughing.


I mean, they're like, you can't even pick up your money, which are fake names. And I was like, mortified.


And they were laughing. I didn't know what to do because then I felt so stupid in my outfit. I was like, oh, I have to go through this whole party. Then on top of the whole thing, there was mom's go to this party just to make sure nobody's had a drink before the party.


You know, those those moms that take care of that.


Then they then thought that I'd had a drink like a Bacardi Breezer because I couldn't pick up the money and flicked me into the sickroom, calling my mom.


I was like, oh, I haven't I just can't pick them up. And my fake nails I've never worn taken out before. I didn't know how to do it.


And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a girl in there getting sick. Any time I see somebody getting sick, I get sick.


So then I decided getting out that I was I was like, oh, and I she got walked out and my mom had to come get me and all the guards just there letting them says that you're one got sent away from the disco.


Oh. And at that age like there's nothing more mortifying. I forgot those sick rooms existed. I remember them now from discos. They'd have a specific room where they would bring anyone who was absolutely loaded and their parents would have to come to collect them more to yeah, I was in there.


I wasn't even sick. Just a big, long, stupid fake names.


I mean, the sight of anyone getting sick. I was like, oh, I was like, oh my God.


Oh, that's a comedy of errors. Yeah. I was like, I'm just getting sick because she's getting sick. They're like, yeah, we've heard that before. Oh, God.


Well, look, I'm interested to know you in school. What were you like? Were you Masser, were you studious. What what did you do.


I definitely wasn't studious like I have to say and my mom and dad will agree with me there.


I could just wasn't like if I could get get away with doing everything, I would have just because I just fucking didn't want to do it.


Because I'm the only subject that I really liked was. Music, obviously, and science, I loved science, I was great at science, I don't know how, I don't know why. I don't know where this comes from. I'm always like, if I wasn't a singer, I think I'd like to be a forensic scientist. I mean, that would be my focus.


I like that to end the spectrum. OK, so when did the love for music turn into this is what I want to do forever. Um, it did take a while, like, I'm not gonna lie.


It wasn't just like I've always wanted to do it would like then I was like, can I do it?


Or like, is this a real career? Because like, you know, coming from Ireland, we have so many people that can sing and do sing. And like a lot of my friends are great singers, my family are great singers. So it was kind of just like it kind of almost wasn't like a job. It was it's like, oh, it's just something that we have. So I never thought of it seriously until then. I started writing music and I kind of started that probably about like five years ago.


And I started writing my own songs. And then that's when the kind of the penny dropped at me. And so I wasn't very good at school.


And I was like, yeah, if I could, I can write songs and I can sing songs. So there has to be something that I can do. So that's kind of when I started. Is that school for us?


We'll we'll come back to that a little bit later on. Right. And how that's going and how you're feeling about it and the whole live music industry and all that. But for now, the moment when if you didn't laugh, you'd cry, oh, holy Moses.


I was on holidays, but my friend and it was like one of our first holidays.


It wasn't the first holiday, but it was one of our first talisker. So we were like Grace the last day. So the last day you have to get your tanon. Yeah. I mean you have to come back as brown as you possibly can and you have to go and like I can go pretty brown. My dad's like, oh my gosh, look at your one. Come along. No orange hair and her big tan skin on her like that.


She's I guess that is like a tattoo.


So anyway, I so I obviously was like T-. I have to get Soberanes now. So I was putting on the Malibu oil and I was slipping out of bed and I didn't care. I loved it.


So brown and then on our way to the airport of the day, like when you sweat like oil, she was not getting those done for the day.


So I was sweating. And you have that kind of like hole in your neck, that kind of dip.


Yeah, there was like sweat gathering there for the day, which I doesn't take notice of. I was getting all of my hours and and I was kind of scratching it, scratched off suntan so on the way to the plane and I was like, oh my next really itchy.


So the next minute my tan just in that whole was started to come off like as in like I was peeling like there was no tomorrow and put underneath because I had just put back the oil. I myself was white as a white as the datastore challenge.


I literally was going along and of the Israeli like the lowest top and the short skirt I could going home to Ireland, show off my tan white course and I had a big massive white hole in my neck as if somebody had shot me in the neck walking along this gorgeous tan.


And then it's this big white on my neck. And I was like, Holy Moses. My friend was like laughing at me, thinking, this is actually like I'm going to tell you the truth, this is horrendous.


I was like, great. So got the airport flight delays. Eleven hours. I was like, well, this could add to my day. Fantastic. We were starving.


So we spent all our money the night before, as do you like. I spend all of our money, you guys, we're changing it back. Use it all on anything we can find. So we're at the airport for Lebanon. We're starving. We managed to get three euros each together to share a sandwich. Done that. Fine. Got on the plane. Got on your one. Anyway, tea who I'm with. Then we get to the airport, takes out our phone to ring her mom.


She's twenty euro in the back for a phone all the time. She was hungry, starving to death.


And then we're waiting for our bags. I was like, look, we're home.


No, this can't get any worse. Yeah, waiting for our bags. Anyway, around comes my friend's bag. Off it goes. And I was like, OK, rent around the goals letter. I was like, OK, that's mine.


Pick that off you conveyor belt a shoe. And I was like, that's so weird. Next minute around goes out comes the Nika's like, cool, that's mine. Awkward. I was like, I'm going to pick that off.


Anyway, all these things are coming out in between people's bags that were like and these like we've been on the holiday.


So like this is like clean knickers, dirty knickers, you name it. They're all there. I was like, sweet suffering. Nora, what is going on? Next minute my bag comes open.


No case was just open. So obviously if it exploded, they didn't decide to put everything back in. They decided to put it on. I was mortal, I was actually more fathers like dads, their kids, their nannies, they're all my knickers going around and I'm like, obviously you're on your first holiday with your friend.


You bring the brightest color underwear you can find like luminous thongs going around by all you more than somebody.


Just pick the knickers up. So anyway, I was like, I'm missing a gold stiletto. The gold said it was the first or second gold wasn't in the bag. So I had to go up there, people in the airport and be like, I'm missing a shoe. And there were like that as I looked for it and then radioed down her shoes on the runway.


We're going to have this. I was like, you know, just get me out here. Just get me a bowling alley.


She was like, you have to like, if we didn't start laughing our asses off, that was it. Like I was getting checked in. I was connected.


What did you do with the white patch on your neck? That's a fucking nightmare. I literally got like an eye shadow brush. I'm like from Satrapy. And I was like trying to like, paint is in. There was no help for me. I looked horrendous, like, spent all those hours with that and she and Paul. And when they came on this shocking I of it, I'm delighted.


So did you get how did you get the gold you back. I gotta go. You've got it. Perfect girlishly as bent as badam. I was like thanks. Let's see.


By keeping NICUs for a while I was all over the dads looking at the aluminum tongs. It's great. OK Laura, you're no laughing matter moments in life.


So this is obviously a no laughing matter. So it is quite sad. It's my non issue like my favorite woman in the world, like emeralds voter. I get so upset, OK, I'm even upset now and it's like so sad losing somebody that you love, love that much.


And it was the first person that I've ever lost because my dad's. Oh God. I'm going.


And the deep breath. Deep breath. Oh, my dad's parents passed away before I was born and my granddad passed away very early. So I didn't really remember when my nan was like my best friend, like she rare, just like we used to go trials every day after school. She just let those watch the den. We loved life up there. It was great.


And it was I was over in England and my mum rang me, you know, one Irish mum ringing.


There's something up there like, how is your tea? You're like greens. How are you in there? Like, who's with you? You're like, why do you ask me that question?


And she's like, why are you on your own? And I'm like, No, I'm not on my own is like, why? Like, why you ask me this question?


And then she was like, Oh, nothing. I'm just in in Widgren. And we were just talking about it and I was like, man, just tell me. And you know, Irish, my mates are like, oh no, everything's fine, it'll be fine. So I rang my sister and I was like, can you please tell me the truth? I'm over in England. You know, if anything happens, I wouldn't forgive anyone if he didn't tell me.


Yeah, well, she was like, look, she's OK, but like, she is kind of losing her memory a small bit.


So she was like, but she is fine.


So I was like, great, that's great. And I don't care. I'm coming home. So I decided to pack up everything. I was actually just about to get signed to a record deal and I just put everything on hold is like nothing is worth any of this, like nothing like she is my everything. So I went home.


I flew home from once. I said however long I have with her, I'm staying at home. I don't care if it's two months, six months a year, I'm staying home. So me and my sister moved up into her house with her because she hates hospitals like, you know, every old person, everyone in general. You know, it's just you want to be in your own environment cause she couldn't be at that time. So we decided to take on ourselves to move into our house and be her nurses for her.


So we take shifts every night. I'd either do it or my sister do it. And now we get her into bed and we'd wash her and we dresser and we change her and. We spent like two months with her, and it was such a lovely time to get that special time with her and talk to her and try and bring back her memory. And sure, she be giving just half time. She'd be waking up like, why aren't you in school?


Have you done your homework now? And we'd be like, no, we've no work today.


And there's also like in our like 20s. So, yeah, that was like kind of just the worst, worst, worst time of my life. And just being with her and watching her pass away was really sad. Like when I went over to talk to her when she was passing and she hadn't opened her eyes in ages and then she opened them and was just the worst time ever.


And when was that? That was five years ago now.


And did it ever at any point kind of did you think because, you know, you say you were about to sign a massive record deal, which is like life changing at any point. Did you think, OK, as much as I want to be here with Nana, she wouldn't want me to let this opportunity go? Or did you think? Well, I think this is this is what you thought. Nothing, as you said, nothing is worth this.


And if it's meant to be, it'll be eventually. But it did part of you going to go? She would want me to be over there and to be pursuing all I've worked for.


I think she was just so much to me. It just never came to my mind that even after she passed, people were like, you know, you should get back now. And I was like, I'm not ready. I was like, I can't like I was a mess. I was like, I can't do it. So and then Emerald is about her mom. So, you know, at the end of the day, her song made my career unknowns to her and unknown to me because it was written before, you know, she passed because I, I wrote it to show her that the music industry is an industry that I can be in and that I'm writing songs I'm not because of the kid was like, oh, you're a great singer, you're a great singer.


But when are you going to get a job? Now just, you know, just to make sure you're OK, you kind of thing.


And I wrote it for her to show her like there's I'm writing these songs because, you know, they hear them on the radio and they don't think that people have written the song. Yeah.


So, um, and that song has changed my career. It really got picked up by the Guinness advert. It got picked up for striking out like it broke me as an artist, regardless of me going home and taking that time out to my tarsal.


It's it's just kind of like I was there for her and she has always been there for me.


So as sad as that time was, you've absolutely no regrets about making that decision and saying, no, I have to be there. I do it again now. And if she was still alive, I was five years on and needed the care a little bit and I wouldn't be in the music industry and I'd be I'd be fine with that.


So Loara, the person you always laugh with. Oh, it has to be my brother. He is fucking hilarious, but he's like he's hilarious.


And it's kind of weird where he, like, does all the gift voices and he'll just pick up things and you're just like, wah. But he's just so funny. Like, I don't know what it is about him.


I think it's I just don't expect them to be that funny. Like he's I.T. He's a very handsome guy. And I'm just like even I look at him.


I'm like, surely you're stuck up your own hours and you're a nerd.


I like that's what I think of you. And I'm your sister.


That's what you're supposed to be. Yeah. I'm like, why don't you take the boxes, bro?


He's hilarious. He literally walks in the door sometimes and I just like laughing at him. And he's like, What's wrong with Jeff? And I'm like, I'm just I expect you to come up with something gas. He's like my go to fun lover.


He actually when I am going to things and like a thing was like two years ago to I'd like the biggest breakup ever. And I got invited to the UTA show because I'd been on the album with them. Well, the cover album not with them, but you know what I mean. To spend the money to album guys that go with it, just go with it, OK?


Yeah, it's on their album Guy right now.


So they were like, oh you can bring a plus one and there's oh oh I've just been dumped and I got a break.


So it's like I'm bringing my brother here literally cheer me up. And he was like I think maybe we should just have like this kind of cold each other. Like if there's a hot girl chatting me up that you don't come near me like people who think that we're going out and I'm like, oh, for the love of God, I brought him with me anyway.


And then after the show, like we met Gavin James and stuff like that and like Robbie Keane and was there. And they're all obviously getting cars to the afterparty. Right. I couldn't even believe those being invited to that party. I nearly lost my knickers. When I picked up my invite, I was like Dad?


And we went out to. And they're like, are you going to me like, yeah, we're just we're just waiting for our car is just running a bit late. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. He got on a bike. I got into the basket and we cycled to the after office. Literally, my arse was a roll. When we arrived there, I was like, you have to stop before we get there. Do not let anyone see us getting off the bike.


Oh, my God.


God, I used to live in Nebraska like this.


I expect that they will get one of those off we went by. Oh, my God. If we some it was the best night ever.


But how much better is that memory than being in a fucking pompous car with water bottles in a newspaper in the back?


You aren't that way better. I mean, Bruxner, that's my cousin.


And I said, oh, no, it's OK. Like a time where you had the last laugh.


So my last laugh would definitely have to be when I got called in for a record label, me saying this is like very early days, then the venue manager not saying I was like doing it myself, thinking, right, let's do it.


And they called me in anyway.


And they were like, we listen to your music. Good. I was like, Cool Girls isn't very good.


And then anyway, they were like, but we were thinking like maybe you should like be really pale in your skin and make your hair really dark and, you know, get get that relock and like, you know, sing a bit more like this. And they're like, you know, when you sing, it's sometimes can be a bit like your singing in a football stadium. And like maybe you just need to make it like maybe be a bit more Irish.


Yea, no, actually they wanted the opposite. They didn't want the Irish, they were like, don't be so Irish and kind of go for this like kind of like gothic girl kind of. Look obviously I am so far away from that. So I was like, oh I can assure you I can't do that. Like I'm, I would lose my life and I have to be Irish because I am Irish.


Exactly. And I can pronounce my teenagers.


So get over it. And then literally I was like Fechner because they had me in the studio with some guys and they were like at the end, make sure she does like and at the end. So you add them into your words.


And I was like so cheeky and made me really self-conscious about my voice. I was surprised saying anymore, like, I can't even speak because I can't pronounce my teenagers.


So I was like having a nightmare about the whole thing. And you're man anyway, basically ends up massively like paying me off and be like, look, she's not going to do it. She's not going to start here. She's not going to be really pale and stay indoors for the rest of her life and some of that. So they were like kind of like we don't think this is going to work. So by and I was like right there of the hair blondes.


I have tanned skin and have my Irish accent when I sing. And I have I've been sitting in on the stages that they said I'd never stand on and sold out tours, that they said I'd never be in a studio.


And it's like a Stafford on the Middle Ages and creating an album. So I think I have the last laugh here. And he since has been fired.


Has you? Yeah. You dropped like a hot not goodbye, so I'm thrilled myself. Trilled trails off they trend. Amazing. That was mine. OK, Laura, if laughter wasn't the best medicine, what would be.


I think it would have to be a wibbly wobbly wonder and a packet of Johnny on the rings.


Oh there my go to that hunky mark honker. I mean, no one wants to talk to you after Johnny Onion rings.


They're just like you, Rick. I'm like, just call me Eureka Johnson. Here I am honking bullishly and they stopped.


Bring it believably wonders. What the hell is that about? Not good. Not good. Because I've already tried on the Liara Twitter to bring them back.


They're like, who are you know, I'm like, please, please. I have a blue tick.


Now, please say that the third person on the line, Richwoods the line like my business account business, I put everything through my that. Oh, that's a great answer. Great answer. Johnny Onion rings like I mean wagan wait. No, why not. Wagon wheels wheelies. We need another good shout. Yeah we are good. Yeah they are bunch bones. Oh banshee bones.


The cheap ones. The cheap I can think of bit honkey. I love the hunk cheese.


Delish. OK Larry you ready for quick farand.


Oh gee this is where you want hagwon the actor that always makes you laugh. Jim Carrey. Lovely. The actress that always makes you laugh you want from Bridesmaids the part.


I don't know her name. I'm going to go down to the River LA. What is your name, Christian Kristen. Kristen Wiig. Oh, her very good. OK. The comedian that always makes you laugh, Tommy Kiernan. And finally, Lara, your best or worst joke.


OK, so this is husband and wife scenario. So the husbands ask them questions to the wife.


So he says, love, if you didn't have hands, would you wear gloves? She goes, No, she's like, right, so. If you didn't have these, would you wear socks and she's like, no. And then husband goes, So why why'd you wear a bra?


Oh that's mean. I know dogs. I have no boobs. Yeah, me either. Yeah, we get it. We get it. We feel it. Oh, Laura, thank you so much for sharing the laughs of your life. Thank you for having me.


I've actually had a laugh now and a bit of a cry. I had a bit of a laugh. I mean, we got very emotional here, didn't we? It's a roller coaster. Thank you so much for doing it. Thanks for having me on this. That's great. I love the PopCap.


Thank you for listening to the laughs of your life with Lyra. I hope you enjoy this. Don't forget to check out her new EP, The Magic of Christmas. You won't regret it. This podcast runs right up to Christmas. Don't forget to like, subscribe rate review and all those other things. This podcast is brought to you by collaboratives.