Anything similar to this, I would be very OK. I am so excited opposite of. Did you not know that I couldn't get more than the tip into my period? All right. I want to witness my friend work out, Ptarmigan. Welcome to The Secret's Out. My name is IPD and this is the very first episode of the podcast. So people that follow me across social media have submitted thousands of anonymous real life secrets. And I've invited some of the biggest celebrities to sit down with me and go through them, as well as hearing some of the most outrageous secrets that have been sent in by the public.

My guests also share unbelievable stories from their own personal lives, too. Joining me today on this episode is my girlfriend of nearly eight years, Zoe Saag, with Chris and Rosie Ramsey from the podcast Shagged, Married, Annoyed. It's also definitely worth noting that obviously whilst recording this, we were in the same room, but this podcast was recorded prior to lock down. And just a pre warning. If there are any children or young teenagers or grandparents or just anyone around that can hear the podcast being played right now that you don't think should be hearing some of the most outrageous, risky Phoolan secrets, I definitely advise you to even put some headphones in or leave the room and listen to it by yourself.

I'm just saying things get full on in this podcast and especially this episode. Right. Let's get into it and let's let the guests introduce themselves.

But he didn't want to go, I'll go, yes, let me know what you up to, what you do. My name is Rosie Ramsay and I am a podcast actress. It would be on Instagram and I'm here with my husband, Christopher Ramsey. That's me. Hello.

I'm Rose's husband, Chris.

Well, I'm one half of our podcast interview and a standup comedian and present in the investor, but mainly comedian. We are also authors as well now.

Oh, God. Oh, yes. TV is just so honestly, it's heavy. We all of us as well. Yeah. 50 percent authors.

Yeah. 50 percent off and off.

Yeah. I think one of my favorite things is how you guys say book.

I love all book. The book. The book. Well I'm about to give you a little gift cookbook.

Oh I know you have a lot to increase your enjoyment by 50 percent and also switching things up as well.

I've got Zoey here as well. Oh, yeah. Hello. Oh, no.

Oh, OK. I really I was thinking in the car when you were talking about the structure of it and then Chris and radio introduced themselves and I was like, yeah, oh God, I hate doing that.

I forgot. Well, I'm sorry.

Obviously I do YouTube or the well, do I do a bit of everything. Professional photographer.

Just about anything to try. I try. Yeah. Double down on a few things. I think, I think today's is going to be cool this episode because of having two couples here.

Yeah I think it's ridiculous. Switch on the dynamic. Yeah. Things. So who's got a secret. Who wants to go first. I'm telling a secret Rosie. You wanna go from office. First of what you asked us to do this and I was on the train. I gave you a half an hour's notice. It's absolutely fine. And I was like, well, I was really trying to do something exciting. And I mean, that's not going to get me in trouble, but I think this might get me in trouble.

OK, we'll say it's always find one if it's got to be edited out.

It cuts to Chris Secret. We know that. And every job that I've ever had, I've stole from the company.

What kind of jobs? So I don't know. Someone can I can I just say I'm double nervous because we share an office?

No, no. I miss her.

So I used to work at the body shop and I stole it like a couple of the testers.

So, I mean, these two are going to be an embezzlement.

Oh, I'm talking like I just used to, like, take pens and stuff and stationery.

I that you thought that was a big deal. Is that not a big deal?

I felt terribly bold in this game for years and I had something very similar.

Oh, you say. But not in a bad way. Just didn't like anything. Yeah.

Have you got any of the things, have you stolen anything that you like. Oh that's worth keeping on. Have you stolen it because you just wanted it there and then all of be thought about it.

I mean like I'm going to take that before I leave. It was usually premeditated. If you kind of thought, you know what, I'm going to leave him take a souvenir.

Remember to walk.

She kept walking past the same test in the body shopping spree. And then by the end of the day, I thought, well, I don't need a book I'm taking now where there's a tee time out of school.

Well, when I went on the beach, I was the hot, hot and everything. I just used to go when the club pens was it's the pens are like, yeah, do like a logo on the lawn.

I went to the top of stairs with, like, a stalker. But I want to know there's a box. There's a box. I remember there's a box full.

There must be two hundred pounds in that box.

So it's like imagine like if there was like a PR deal or an event or a job fair, you've got a box, it's all the same pen in a box designed to fit exactly two pounds of solving the problem.

I'm a maniac, 200 pounds. Whatever you told me you couldn't use the pro-life lifetime.

We will. And I am. All right. Oh, that's now. Yeah, you're right about that.

See, I must have known otherwise. I'm sorry.

All of my past employees.

Well well, mine is along a similar vein, right. So what I do is on tour. I first Ortel on the first night the tour. I take a toll that morning when I leave that hotel. You keep it. Well, no, it's wrong.

It's stealing, but it's not right. So this is what I do. I take it from the hotel, but I stay in the same chain of hotel every night. So that towel, when I use it during the day after the after the show and stuff gets used, but then that gets dropped at a different branch of the same hotel company the following day.

So by the end of the full run, the first hotel is down to one towel, but the last hotel is worn a towel.

But as a company, they haven't lost any towels. Do you understand what I'm saying?

How many are you using the same towel, Wandy?

So then the next hotel the next night I'll drop it off. So you're just switching them.

I just, you know, just put on your idea. It's. The venue, no, because I'd get charged for it. I'm a very cheap price. So why do you take a towel? Because I like this. So if I'm going to wash at the hotel.

Yeah, but then for the day, if I'm going to go at the venue, I want to take a toll on what you do.

You go on with, you know, because I'm not what you are. This is this is I'll be honest, this is my holidays. I've squeezed this little podcast and I mean holidays. I'm over the moon.

I'm a little surprised that we can find you a towel to take if you want on the way.

I see. If you say I can take it, it's not fun anymore to go on. That's how big. Why we talking full body towel. No, we don't. Yeah, we're talking.

We're not flying. We're talking in between. We're talking downtown. Yeah. We're talking hand in hotel. Yeah. First. Yeah. Know you never use flannels in hotels.

Just never use why. Just never ever use them. I don't care how hot the washes people. Come on.

It might not be using on the I it so to discuss the crotch woman with a flannel is the coverage maintenance call and I flannel once and it was just a ball of hair in it in a hotel. It's just not real like someone knows long do.

Well I mean, I mean not just on their level of maintenance and it looked like you'd been out of a hairbrush and dropped into the flannel. And a friend of mine when we were filming something when a hotel and the got into bed and they put their feet the belt in the bed and there was a pair of socks in the bed. Oh, it's just sad.

And it's just a bit it's like getting on a bed and it being warm and going, oh, you know, about it's a reminder that someone else has been there.

How do you explain this corpse thing? I love this corpse thing. I got told that apparently the cops, you know, the water that is in hotels, they don't touch them. They just use the towels and kind of give them apparently. So can you imagine so?

But they sometimes have the nice little paper hat on the top. Yeah. Yeah. But you can change it just a little.

You can. So Rosie told me, listen, I don't know.

But then I started to work it out. It was in a hotel and I thought, right, it's three rooms in this hotel. There's two teacups in each room. You're telling me every day they take 600 cops down, clean them in no way brings them in the same. They drive them in the town, of course, but one. Goddamn cops never leave the room, so. And you can't really guarantee where the Taliban either.

No, well, it's I mean, it's been on the previous bad previous hotel on it. Yeah, I was left.

We are not representing the north. Well, here. I know. Was such a story.

So my secret is definitely way more disgusting than that. Oh yes. Bring it on.

And I did actually say to Al-Fayez, like, is this too much? I don't know.

But when I was about eight or nine, so I saw a different story or something, and I told my husband, you're going to a podcast too much.

I was like, perfectly perfect, you say.

And then you guys have said, like, yeah, fairly. I tell you what, I tell you what, if you feel bad about it, if I've got anything similar that I've done in my life, I'll give you anything similar to this.

I would be very sick. I am so excited to meet your one.

So obviously grew up in a little village. Not much today. We were mostly finding entertainment for ourselves on a daily basis. And me and my friend, we were really bored. One day we were probably eight or nine. Yeah, kind of curious about that.

You said earlier I'm not going to mention my friend because, you know, I've said it that my friend, I'm not going to say it. And I just think it would sound weird if I tried to make out with on my own. Not would be really weird. Right?

Well, I don't know what we were kind of Broadbridge, California, wasn't even that bad.

So we were kind of bored and we went into a public toilet that doesn't get used a lot, very dirty.

And we went into one of the key because I was like those bins next the toilet, like, what are they actually for? Like, I'm just a bit confused, obviously. Eight or nine. Yeah, I've seen my mum using one of those bins, but I don't really know what thought. Let's look in that regard.

So we take off the ledge and we start going through a sanitary bin.

Oh, and I was like, oh my God, there's blood. Oh my God, what is this?

And we just were looking at other people's sanitary products like, oh, I mean, I can't help you on this one.

I'm going to have to leave you hanging. And I love the idea.

What did you think? Like, were you and your friend did you think you were like detectives like this being a murder?

If they don't call themselves? Wow. No, we kind of cottoned on in the end. We were like, OK, actually, oh, maybe this is a bit gross. Yeah. Let's stop doing this now. Let's find something else.

Did you know what it was I, I must have done. I must have done like you.

You're eight or nine. There's nothing to do in a town. And then there's that. I mean, that's another level of nothing to do.

Yeah. We I mean, we weren't there all day doing it when we got on, we were like, OK, no, this is not where we're supposed to look.

We're so sorry.

If you've been going through the time, please give us a call. Your right hand. Yeah.

Oh, that was wow. Oh, no. OK, here we go. No prereading well, you'd have to read straight, I'm going to read it straight through. All right, OK. My current relationship was part of a bet. My friend said that if I could handle being with my now girlfriend for at least six month, he'd pay me 1000 pounds.

Oh, wow. Oh, this is awful. She's the girl we always bully growing up.

Oh, this is disgraceful.

He thought it'd be hilarious to see me with her. The thing is, it's been four months and I've started to like her a lot. I think I actually love her.

Oh. Well, you're not a PUA band, and but I love the idea of the money as well. Oh, my goodness, it's just gorgeous, right?

I don't know if I should tell and I don't know if I should tell because she will probably dump me and then I will get no money off of this.

Me. Oh, I should stay with her for another two months, get paid and then tell her. Either way, if I don't tell her, my friend probably will tell her what dick I am. Please help me. I'm such an idiot.

Oh yes. That's that's beautiful. It's rotten.

Oh, I've got it.

I've got a solution though for you going to say I've got a similar story talking about, you know, we've got to try to do the solution I think would be get the money right.

You know, you said you're going to say the same state together for another two months, get the money for another two months, get the money and then tell her and then go on a nice little trip away.

Yeah, I was going to say, you give a 500 quid. Yeah, I'll go spend it all on her. Yeah, but the 500 quid does sound better. Yeah.

And then don't speak to that friend ever again.

Darkman like. Oh my God. At first I thought it was like I don't know what it sounds like the storyline to like a kid's comedy. Yeah. Oh like a like a Pixar you know. I mean she's the one isn't it. Yeah.

Yeah right. I remember she's the one know who is in that. And it was Freddie Prinze Junior. I'm sure I've seen it.

The girl, she was the pain and she wasn't very popular and it was a bit of abetters basically that I on.

So if you've been a TV, have you been sent a thousand pound or 1000 pounds or something like that on the film?

No, no. That was years ago. We've been sent on our way.

I like them. I'm like, if I took this off the back of the DVD.

Yeah. Oh, I think that is real. I struggle to believe he does actually like if he's talking about the money, if he liked, he would have be worried about the next two months and getting them out then. I know. Changing money. Money. Yes, I was in pounds.

Well what kind of sick billionaires. His mates to be knocking around thousand. I know what was some of a six month. What kind of sick kicks you get to do that. Well, the hiding under the bed while the shock was this six months is bloody long to be live.

So he long you.

I'm going to hold on. That's why that's where it going to wear this out and how much that is a minute.

Six months. Right.

So so six times anyway that he could tell her was with and he'll be OK with that.

She's even a thousand pounds on her and said like right now though we're like better than ever.

It's still work out on how to get halfway through.

You know, it's cool when used to make you read in front of the class and you go, yeah, that's what happened there, you know, but like you've paper and a pen.

If someone did that to you, what would you do? I'd be annoyed. Yeah, I'd be a bit upset, I think, and I don't know, the money wouldn't upset well, wouldn't upset me. It would be the fact that, you know, like how much of this has been bullshit would be for me. But I also, you know, you're me, you and you may have just been laughing your heads off the whole time. Yeah.

You're never going to get along with a mate. They together. He's gone. Oh, yeah. He's not best at the wedding.

I think what should happen, he tells her she pretends she's OK with it, gets even 500 or three grand and then breaks up with him. Just keeps the money.

Yeah. Yeah. How she wins out of it.

If she really wants to get away with this. Right. She needs to go. It needs to give a thousand pounds and he needs to see this is the case are massively fancied you and wanted to go out with you and then randomly me mate said if you go out with her over a thousand pound and I was like OK. And I did the whole thing because I knew I want to go out anyway and I just try to take money off him for being a pig.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Good. Turn around. That's what he used to say. He got away with it.

Don't do that. The person who wrote I didn't because I don't think she got away with it because I don't respect you. Yeah, exactly.

When I moved away from uni, I got a new job to avoid working a weekend.

I lied and told them I was sorry, sorry, sorry to avoid working a weekend.

I lied and told them I had a child and couldn't work as I was looking after him. I feel really bad for lying and didn't think it would get out of get this out of hand.

They regularly ask about him to which I have to make up answers, even bought him a Christmas present for me to give up.

And I feel awful, but I can't say anything else.

I've let it go too far. Oh God.

You know, that person's been Googling photos of a random kid and sending them on.

You know, that was not just like that.

Some random nephew or something. Yeah. Rosie, if just said model a man or a woman. It's gotta be sexy to have a lot to copy. I thought it was a guy when you were a woman.

I'm sorry. I know women are murderers as well. You know, I mean, I just I feel like that is a really, really shitty thing that a man would do that to me because he when he was a kid on weekend.

Yeah.

So I was like about a boy.

Oh, no.

Do you remember he pretended that the kid was his kid to everybody else in the great. Oh hey. Big guy as well. Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah that's great. You know, mean you know that one of their Facebook friends is just basically forming and photos of the kids and going out and talking to football to the end of the crop, the mom and dad.

Why is that the first thing that would come to your head, though?

Because it was again, I've got a child. What a massive lie. It's a career.

Yeah, yeah. But it's so crazy that it's realistic. I would fall for if someone said, yeah, I'd be like, fair enough, because there's no way you're going to be a nanny. I would lie. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like by us talking about this, a lot of people now going to start using this. Yeah. People who are listening to like that's fucking brilliant.

Oh, they're going to start really questioning the person that's like, yeah, no, I have my kid at the weekend. Yeah. Oh really.

How about you FaceTime him right now bringing a photo of him standing next to you holding today's paper. Yeah. Yeah.

And I it's not something you can get out of. You can't just one day go, gosh, I've got a kid anymore. What do you mean lost him.

It's like to keep up that but then I want to lose so I go for it.

When, when this imaginary child becomes like 18 or 19, it could just be an actor to too.

If he's working in Tesco and the job's like, can you at weekends know for a couple of years at Tesco? Or if it's like his career is screwed?

Well, you know, it's on the kids eating birthday.

They're just going to hand him all his weekend shifts he has to do. Yeah. He now made off to look after the money.

That is a fantastic, fantastic Seagram.

Shall I go go for a nap? Oh, God, I've just seen the word tampon lady no longer for the first time I ever tried using a tampon, I was really struggling to put it in. I couldn't get more than the tip into my period.

All right. So she does my vagina, period. There's no.

Oh, just period that everyone uses to go into my period home on the third attempt, it went a bit further in, but it was really painful. I could have bend or sit down, so I tried to pull it out, but it was really grippy. I it would be dry.

I know that at the end of the period when you try to get out, it's dry as a bone. Yeah, it really is hard. Really hard.

Yeah. I was in so much pain and scared I'd have to go to hospital, so I burst out crying. My mom knocked on the door and asked if I was OK. She ended up having to bend me over and pull the string out for me. So embarrassing.

Oh no, no, no. See my period home.

Oh, I can only think of nothing worse than my daughter's blood sugar again.

Oh, bless. Oh that's. Oh that's quite.

She must be quite young because she called it I mean she called it period. Oh. So that's a whole you would be a bit panicked in that situation if it hadn't happened before.

We don't go straight in with the tampon. So you know, that's Bray's. Yeah.

Sort of pads and then you could work your way up, you know, and then it's tampons. Even when you use a tampon for the first time, you got to get a mirror down.

They have a little bit of a look around from the period so the people look and check out. It's OK. It's do you know what it is? Periods and. Well, you know how much I love to get my periods. Oh, tampons. The the tricky. Tricky those customers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah they are. Yeah.

I always get I always just get still sore. Surprised if you don't want some water and you know how big it is.

Yeah. Rapide something like that.

You it's like awesome venga touchline and it still goes on but they don't come out like that, like they don't go in and expand it all by themselves.

They just all I can picture there is this pool spent over the bath.

I've got a hold of the strings.

Got a foot on one Wolski never again, ever again flies.

On one hand it sticks on the tiles behind all of God's love. That is that's Pirandello. You never stop being a parent. My mom would have done that for me.

Yeah, your mom would do that for you. Now, please make sure I'm out and you just walk in and see the two of them.

They say again, Oh, snap gets us back. It's the 90s. I'm Akoto Frata. I am Tracy Clayton. We're celebrating our favorite boy bands, RB groups, the golden era of hip hop and diva hits with a new podcast. My 90's playlist in each episode will celebrate one of our favorite ninety songs, the lyrics, the music, how each song came to be, and the effect that each song had on the world.

Subscribe to my 90's playlist wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a therapist, and in between sessions with my clients, I decided to run to the bathroom to take a shit grab as nice as I was wiping a shit covid piece of toilet paper somehow missed the toilet and ended up crawling under the stall next to me, which had someone in it.

I could either just leave it or awkwardly reach under the stall and grab it. I decided to reach under and grab the paper. When I left the cubicle, the one next to me opened and saw that it had been my boss that witnessed may lose control of my shift of a tissue. Neither of us said anything.

Oh oh.

Oh, that's right about. I can't even put in a public toilet. I love it, I love. There's nothing better than like a nice stormy night.

What do you do on Christmas Day where everyone is closed and you need leadership? You have to have one in the House and be devastated? Yeah, I've got it. I got it.

How does this is such a serious thing?

Right. Because then you can just walk away and you, God, it's not in your own house.

Yeah, but there's people around you that you don't know. They could be there to know them. Michael sorry. What kind of carnage are you leaving in the toilet.

Do you see someone else's problem? No, no, no. I like that. It's just a murder scene.

I like this restaurant. Anyway, it was cold, so I guess the walls on the ceiling.

Oh, my God.

When I when I first started up, I used to live in Manchester. I just got the train to to London all the time. And a guy on the train told us a story. I don't know if you've heard this, Rosy. I'm not sure. He told us a story about when he went the profit center in Manchester and he says went into a cubicle. Right. And he was having to wait in a cubicle and he pulled the toilet rule of the you know, it was rolled up.

Yeah. So he pulled it. And just before I tell you a story, can I say it? Told me and Jason Manford the same story. And I did the story that week on Out Ten Cats and on the same week Munford did the story on the Jonathan wasHow.

And you steal each other's material and me and for like, oh my God, we promised we were only like you told me, the guy in the tree and told us, Now what am I, the only comedian you've told? And he was like, Yeah. And he said the same to Monfort.

And we both used the stage.

So in that we started in the USA, we in the cubicle and profit center and he and he pulled the toilet roll and someone had and I still can't get my head around the mechanics of this.

Someone had put a shit, a full shit up inside the toilet roll holder and on top of the roll so that when you pull the roll down, the sheet fell and it fell and hit a shoe and it bounced under in the cubicle next to his shoe.

Someone's been a little bit hard. Let's be honest.

It hit issue went under the carpet and apparently the guy in the next one, what did he just run out of the place, by the way, I have ever had. Is that why you like public toilet?

Did it get old doing that in your house?

That's quite scary to buy a place inside the road.

People are maniacs, but it's fucking crazy because they're not even going to be that to which I happened to be there. Lilit crazy. Maybe they're listening. Yeah.

Maybe they'll let you know something if you know and sometimes you get a little Jiddah and you go with someone walked over your grave. Yeah. Maybe they feel like a disturbance in the force. Maybe they're like, do you think they feel it right now as we're talking about.

Yeah, someone's mentioned it. I mean I mean shit again, I don't know. Ten year old crazy.

So what I'm saying is I could have been worse. I could have been three. Just poo on the tissue is it's not as bad as.

Last year, my husband and I won a decent amount of money in lottery, OK, in lottery, but we never told anyone, oh, even our two children don't know about it. Sometimes we give them little presents because we feel bad about not telling them. But we decided it's best for the farm to keep it a secret. Oh, that is delicious.

That could be a TV drama. Yeah, would be. Yeah, I watch that. Yeah, I agree with that.

I like that idea quite young. Why do they need to know. Like if they're young. Do they need to know.

I don't know if they want a lot of money. Imagine winning like 30 million. Yeah. Then they can't go and spend a lot of money because they could have won a ton of money and they can't really do anything about it.

So a comedian, I know when he flies somewhere with his family, he'll go first class and his kids, these kids, his teenage kids will go standard. And he's like, well, I've worked for first class, but they haven't. So they can say in economy. I mean, yes, yes. She's like, I'm well-off. You're not. Yeah, I agree.

Because you don't want your kids going to school. Mommy and daddy are rich, mom and dad.

I mean, equally, though, I had two friends in school and the two brothers and their dad sold their business or his business for 25 million when we were in school. And he was adamant to this day that he was going on like, well, like a trip around the world when he's retired, spending all of that. They're not getting one penny. This is mine.

Oh, his dad said that the parents were like, we aren't we don't want the kids to be brought up into, like, money that they didn't earn, haven't worked for. So we're spending the whole lot.

That's why I don't agree with that. Yeah. My mom, I'd be livid. Did you say twenty five million? You're not going to spend your retirement?

Well, we do. Yeah, sure. Sure. So with me childhood on, if it was my parents that one that got that money, I'd be region with the parent hat on. Totally agree with them.

Robert spoiled rotten. You spoiled rotten. But he's not 25 million people. No. Gosh, no, no place to live. You got some ball now and he just get a Bentley.

No, but Robert has a lot more than what were you. Yeah, yeah.

A little boy by the way. He's got a lot of toys and stuff for Disney. Got 200 pens upstairs.

He's got his own. Everybody's soul is. What do you think about when we die?

He's not gonna listen.

I'm going to give you some money in the field, but you can have them.

OK, next one. I work in a small office and my boss sits behind me. I was getting ready to leave work one day and as I put on my coat and scarf, I felt something underneath the hood. Oh, no, my back is to my boss at this point and another guy I work with, I reached under my hood to pull this object off the back of my scarf and I look down to my hand and it's my peach colored thong.

Oh, I had washed it with my scarf recently and I was freaking out. I quickly scooped it into my coat pocket while turning pink, said Bite my boss and co-worker. I left the room. I've never been more mortified. And I had never and I've never spoken about it to anyone in the office, even though I know they had they both had to have seen it.

Oh, yes. I said, that's lovely. That's reminded me of a story.

Actually, I'm allowed to bring up stories from my past. I once went to school. I was in comprehensive school, so I must have been about eleven or twelve because it was in the year seven or eight. And when I was at school, I used to wear tight and the skirt in a blazer and a big long jacket. One day I went to school, got there, got into the class, took my jacket off and I didn't have a skirt on.

Did you not know that you were going to school registration class?

Took my big, long, hard multiton. I took my coat off and I was like, let's get going to go back home.

Oh, boy.

Oh, yes. Like first year comprehensives.

Oh oh seven goodness. So just like chatting to my friend Tamako upon about my chair, I was like, oh yeah. No, she's did you have to walk? I said, my God, I had a walk or.

Yeah. So I walked all the way to school, but that was great. And then I go back home.

That was probably quite an easy mistake to make when you're like rushing to get running but never did it again. I was like, Miss haven't got me going.

Wow. I know something kind of similar happened to me.

Is this where it was in school again? And I actually sometimes have nightmares about this because I was mortified, probably around the same age, like year seven year. Right. And I'd done the old go to bed at night, whip off my trousers, whip off my pants, or maybe I'd gone in the bath. Something thrown everything off next day, called on my new pants, pulled on my trousers, got to school when I was like, what the hell?

I pulled yesterday's pants out from the trousers and, like, shoved them in my school bag, like, just hoping nobody saw. I've done that before.

Yeah, I like white women.

So they were stuck in the trousers. We're still in the trousers. Yeah. Oh, OK. And I had those trousers where if it rained they were like flares. Did you have these. And it was like this.

Oh you had to ask me around year round. That's why I'm, that's why I had tights. I think I was just without them. If, you know, we were lower trousers.

We are always good.

Oh wow. I'm tight. Yeah. Yeah, they can. Now the school changed the rules so the Waitrose is now. But back in the day I used to wear like four pairs of tight. Because it was so cold in Newcastle, in NSW that we live in the winter, it's like one degree. It was freezing cold, was good. That's crazy.

So just so when you do the same as Rosie here, when you get changed, does everything come off in one go?

Yeah, it looks like a snow melt right now. Do let your clothes right now. I can picture exactly what they're like in our bedroom. It's like they've fallen off as though he's walked through it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a line. Yeah.

Well, I had a line in my last show. Rosie leaves a pile of clothes next to the bath. It looks like a wicked witch has managed to get. Yeah.

But like I'll let sometimes I'll be doing the washing and I'll pick up a pair of her leggings and they'll be knickers in the Leganes sock on the bottom of it.

Yeah. Like she's been building the on. Unbelievable. Yeah you do.

If you get in the bath, what you just like fold your clothes and put them away and then all of that.

So that's what you're so you see. Yeah. The same as in the same as it's either coronets this office, there's a spider on me in my skin or the psychopath put it away like no I just take them off and I'll dump the socks one thing and I'll put that. But I won't come off in one go like I'm wearing a onesie today.

I mean you're exactly the same as enjoying the organized you. You will take your clothes off like the same place where you store your clothes, whereas I'm not.

Yes, I do. I do. I do. I just don't understand honestly.

The just our son's exactly like Rosie. He will eat, walked in and something comes off every couple of steps. Yeah.

So he's literally like jack it off floor Jumah floor one shoe kicked over there, one over there like a fucking music video.

I do that every day very often.

I once witnessed my friend work out her tampon that I had to pretend I didn't see it fall to the ground while she hid under her foot.

I think there's still a blood stain on the carpet to this day.

This is the opposite of the other one. This is the problem. This is 10 years old. You know, she can put them out of this girl's mom, come and pull them out.

No one just stands there with a net out of the baseball glove naked, because I'm sure if you got clothes on, it wouldn't just fall out.

This must be unless she was wearing what my friend discussed must have been Scott. Scott forgot to put on Nika's. All right. OK. It doesn't say that. No, I'm just guessing. I mean, of all this is bullshit.

And they just lied. It's quite specific, though. It is quite specific that her saying she watched her hide under her foot. Like, I can kind of imagine somebody being like, oh, my God, hide under the pillow.

You don't hide that under your foot. You know what? If it was me and my friends, I think I'd make a joke of it being like, oh, my God, my jaw just dropped.

And I don't want to see my doctor be like, oh, my God, the force I just created, I turned me tampon in a wood projectile. I could professionally twist enough gun. Yeah.

Oh, all right.

This is the last one. Oh, my God. I got super drunk and had some fucking hell. I got drunk and had sex with a chair.

I put I put my dick right between the cushions and fucked it until I.

This is this is filth. I'm going to say fuck it until completion because I don't like the way he's written this.

Unfortunately, my friend took a video with me and this friend recently had a falling out over a girl and he is planning on sharing the video.

The really weird thing is, though, what I saw, it's not sure when I keep having dreams about chairs.

The other day I had a dream. I was in the chair section of IKEA and woke up with a boner.

I feel like that might be a lie and it might be a lie. Why is this friend there while he's fucking a chair?

But unfortunately, my friend Videojet, unfortunately, teenage boys can just be weird soggy biscuits.

Yeah, they can just be weird. Yeah.

Sorry boys, but you are disgusting so I don't know, I don't know why someone me if you have a soggy biscuit.

Oh I'm thinking of something else. What are you thinking about. This is fun. I love moments like this. Oh, come on, Zoe. What do you think? It's soggy biscuit when when loads of people want a biscuit. Yes. And then it actually has to eat. Okay. All right.

I was thinking, there's a comedian on the circuit who is called Dave Long. Me and I never forget a routine he did once when he used to have this routine about chocolate biscuit. And he totally dispelled the myth of Soga because you just sat there.

What did you say? That the last person it's not the last person is the person who doesn't. Because you don't say that's what that's what this guy says. You don't say that's a comedian called Dave Amazin routine, really ready to go? Yeah, but that's yeah. He's totally right. You don't you don't you don't keep going. Yeah.

So people actually play that. I don't think it was ever played. I think it was a lot like think it was a lie.

But I guess the stuff we've witnessed through our podcast, I think people probably there was a group of lads at my school who did it coming in.

Well, I was wrong to say I did it twice, honestly. Well, yeah, apparently.

I suppose we all reckon some kind of like rugby initiation, but basketball team, that kind of stuff drunk.

And I got about my first question is what brand of biscuit was it? I'm imagining a digestive. I am as well. I don't know why. Yeah, me neither.

Billabong used to cream because that cream it's not the Lord's Resistance Army Wagon Wheel. What about all that big thing from Millie?

All of them covered in just the icon with the good.

I think the white could be real.

Yeah. Is there all these programs and I love watching them where it's like I fucked my car off.

Married the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, I'm falling in love with the bridge. Yeah. Like they're all people that are into those kind of things. And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

That's more believable than you call. I mean, yeah, I mean you can do it indoors. You have to go in the garbage on the drive. I mean you're going to drive in the middle of night.

Oh God.

What if you're in apartment and you've got like allocated parking and you've got to go out and you're calling them and listening to your you can just admit to having sex with a car, having sex, and then you have sex with a car. I mean exhaust. Yeah.

Because now we can do literally I think that is probably a lie. I think the wind in your I think I just it's the IKEA thing at the end that I find to be silly, the way the wanky I think he says, oh what do you want?

And I was at IKEA section of the chair.

Oh, you know, I just remembered and hopefully he's not listening. A friend of mine from school is your friend. No, it's not my friend. But he did tell them like this is legit as well.

What the heck should you be saying this?

Yes, fine school.

Not this one, because this one hasn't got a split here. Well, maybe this in the gap.

Yeah, he said to me so for once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A friend of mine in school. All boys do that. Yeah.

Like that to so many in the film. Why we had full.

You don't want a completion on the sofa? Well, I mean, it's very courteous to your family. That's what you told me. So this could be him directing. He's got a type of chair. Well, he obviously enjoyed IKEA. Yeah. Could get an IKEA. Brando. Yeah.

You know. I mean, I don't think that's what they're going for, but yeah. New IKEA orange wiped clean and he sees ashes long and he's like, well you dirty like like like an exotic kind of chair, you know what I mean.

Oh highjacked. He's going to be impressed just like yeah. Nothing is wrong with this situation.

So the.

The it is that I could literally read them all day. I love people's weird secret. So well, appreciate you guys coming down and getting involved. I'm off to go for a lie down.

I know. I sit on a chair. Oh, no chance of keeping an eye on you. Ramsey, thank you for having us.

Because one thing I always say at the end is, is there anyone that you know that you think would be cool to have them? And I like to leave this in.

Would you think it would be good on this whole or something?

I first want to come to my jewel and I think chordoma. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good. Got loads of images and stories of things where you say, I can't believe that's happening. Yeah, yeah I know. But yeah, he's got he left some unbelievable secrets. Yeah.

I hope you enjoyed the very first episode of The Secret's Out. Make sure to subscribe if you haven't already. If you want to leave a rating and a review, that would be very generous of you. And yeah, I'll see you next week with episode two.

The secret's out. Can I tell you who's on it? So, too, I mean, it's my podcast. I'm just going to tell you who's on episode two next week. We've got Robbie Williams and I literally went to that house. In fact, I sat in their bedroom on their sofa. They've got a sofa in the bedroom. I was literally just sat there recording episode two with them. It's a bloody good episode and it's coming next week.

So I'll see you then.