Transcribe your podcast

On today's episode of the set, we address why we're leaving. Plus, we're calling you at home to solve your problems on our show.


Hello, you guys, and welcome to another episode of the SERP. I'm Rowland Adams, of course, joined by Lizzie Gordon. And unfortunately, this is our very last episode of the year and it's giving me indigestion.


I will take all the blame for this. And Lizzie was like, well, let's just bank some episodes, but I really take pride. I tried to go there for you guys. I take pride in how much energy and time we spend into all aspects of the production of this show. And I just thought that would be a disservice because I'm jumping ship for the holidays. I'm just saying, like, let's come back fresh in January, book some major guests hopefully here and we'll continue to party on that.


But major guests, it's my mom.


Honestly, that would be I don't think that should be anything. I think that would be so amazing. I know you've had quite the ride for the last forty eight hours.


Tired as well. Well, tell everybody what's been going on.


We had a slight covid scare at my house. And just in the effort, like the interest of being super safe, like nobody in my house was diagnosed with it. But, you know, six degrees of Kevin Bacon, I just decided to leave and stay in a hotel room to, like, preserve my health.


And I thought my sanity. But like, quite frankly, I'm losing my goddamn mind right now.


I'm here. It's a privilege to be able to go stay in a hotel. Definitely a privilege, but it was definitely spooked. This is a spooky ass residence that I was staying in.


And like, honestly, I was like, I'm not going to go spend my money on this stuff.


Like, I'm going to go to a cheaper place that's under a hundred dollars a night and like, it's fine. And then it's like it's not fine. It is not fine.


There were no blankets are not even getting there was just a sheet.


And this like I don't even know how to describe it, but it's like for the single men out there who have never had a woman in their lives, like guaranteed this is the blanket you have on your bed and it is not a fucking blanket. And you not only use it as a blanket, but you also use it as a curtain.


But like my my straight brother before he got married, I think used a bin, tipped over for his coffee table. Yeah. Ten years. Not because he couldn't afford a new coffee table, but because it didn't matter to him.


Danford bachelor behavior is definitely the same type of blanket.


So I'm cold as fuck sleeping in my fucking industrial jacket. I was like waiting to shower because I only wash my hair on Mondays. So I like, didn't get in the shower this morning. I turn it on, there's no hot water. I let that bitch run for thirty minutes and there was no hot water, so I took a freezing cold shower.


Honestly, that's supposed to be very good for you.


That's what I kept trying to tell myself. But like, it didn't feel good, like it really hurt my feelings.


Like emotionally. I was like, like the whole time, like it hurt.


And then as I'm checking out, the guy at the front counter looks at my I.D. and he goes, You're thirty.


You turned 30 this year. What was that like? Did it suck, did it suck turning 30 in quarantine? And I was like, Yes, sir, it did. Can I go now? Like what?


He's like I might turn 30 in quarantine. What was that like? Like, let me know what I was like. I cried all day. I cried all day just because you couldn't do anything. Are you a birthday person?


I'm not a birthday person, but like it blew out turning 30 in quarantine. And not only that, but like and I don't hold this against anybody because I know you're specifically guilty of this. Everybody forgot my birthday.


It was in the height of coronavirus. No, we were all scared and I freak later I panic texted you.


The only reason why I know your birthday is because I can Google it. And one year it came out at the same time as a Selena Gomez record. So I remember it's like close to my birthday, probably in May. I couldn't tell you what it is right now, but I get nervous. I don't think I mean, it was the demi record that came after the Selena Gomez, though. That was.


Does that go back to your pop timeline is not doing it. I don't get out much like I'm doing okay.


Right now. I'm looking tired.


And not only that, but like I want to do some hot girl shit while I was in this hotel and I went out and I got fifty dollars worth of Olive Garden to eat by myself in this bed.


But I got sick really fast because that's like a lot of Olive Garden and it was mostly appetizers which are super rich. And I was like, whatever, I'll save this and enjoy it for like days to come. There's no fridge. I put it in the fridge that's also freezing fucking cold.


And I woke up and all of it was frozen. You can't eat lettuce when it thaws. And it's just I just was like, fuck it. Like, left it there.


Like, Bye, guys. Thanks. I'm in a mood.


You're doing great today. You're really doing everything again. She's been in isolation for two days. Honestly, for me, which I appreciate, it's not even just for you.


It's like I would be embarrassed if I had to, like, do Mike like call my home and be like, listen, guys, sorry I brought covid into your life.


Oh, my God, no. Definitely not during the holiday. Yeah. No, stay as safe as possible. Not ever. So I don't ever want to be the girl that's like, hey dude, sorry I used all your straws and gave you lip herpes. What are your plans for the holidays.


What are you doing. Not much. My fiance's mom is in town through the end of January because she decided to come out here and do the safe quarantine period before we all you know, she drove out here, brought her huge car. I've never seen a car so big in my life.


And we're probably just going to, you know, go to her place. She brought all her Christmas decorations for the baby. It's the cutest thing I've ever. She has decorated her. She she's decorated her baby. And she's like, this isn't even all of it. I'm like, it should be on the it. She's the cutest.


Like, it kills me. She brought, like, red bedsheets to cover the couch at the RBA be to make it like Christmas Eve. And she like like what your brother is.


She's like, why use this crate to bring some stuff? And she put it upside down and like bought at the 99 cent store a snowman blanket and covered it.


So she has a Christmas Automan and like I hope it rubs off on you because all I'm doing is not saying, how can you look at, like, Kylie Jenner's million dollar Christmas decor and not want some of it for yourself?


I live vicariously. I come here, I look at her Instagram. I really like Kendall's house this year, too.


We're going to say I was going down the list of, like celebrities houses on Christmas. They're like flying drones over something very invasive to get you shots of the different Christmas decorations that all of these people have.


I don't know. It's all over Instagram in my head. Right. But these are aerial shots. I don't think celebrities are flying drones above their own houses to get their own aerial.


Got to be like, look at my house, come find me. They could level up in my head.


I'm that person that has a 500 million Christmas lights on my property. But we live in a space where nobody's driving by to appreciate it. So I can't execute properly. And we also, like this year, we are safely traveling to Colorado. We're getting tested before and after we get there. My parents have like their basement, which I also miss so much. There aren't basements in California, which is the basement.


What the fuck are you going to base? Oh, my God. Are you freaking kidding me? You killed a lot of people. I know you grew up in California, so you just don't understand. All I know about basements is never murder. And no, everyone's basements when you finish them are everything like they're basically apartments, they're man caves or your shed there. Downstairs is basically it has a family room, two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen.




So we'll be safely down there while we're like making sure that we're all OK because my grandma is and you're privately traveling, but like you're not going to like a mass and we're going to stay very safe. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. I love that for you. We haven't left the house in a year. I know.


I need to get out of here and go somewhere.


And I feel so lucky that you should have come visit me at my hotel room. I almost was like, I'm going to have to force you to stay here. And I'm it's like I'm more worried about the person that stayed at the hotel before you, not the hotel's standards and regulation.


Not a lot like bleach when I got in there. So I'm sure it was it was very clean. And I didn't let the cleaning people come in and clean in between days just because I felt the same way. Like I saw contagion. That bitch got it in that fucking hotel room and I'm not going out that way. That was the worst decision I ever made to watch in the middle of a pandemic.


I mistook it. For a different movie, which is more like in bodysnatchers style movie, and I put it on, I was like, this is what I thought it was. And it was like two weeks into the quarantine. And I was like, I need to finish this because it has to have a happy ending.


It doesn't like it never gets better because with a vaccine, there is a happy ending. So what are your typical Christmas traditions? Did you have any as a kid that you carried on into adulthood?


I've carried nothing from my childhood to emotional trauma, but we did have a really cute little thing that we used to do back in the day.


My grandpa Gordon would take all of our Christmas wishes and write them on the toilet paper and then put it into the fireplace. And then the embers that went through the chimney would like go to Santa.


That is cute. And I've never heard of that the like. I think one of the last times I did that.


No, not one of the last times, but like six or seven years ago, I asked Santa for a like six foot two blonde, large, manly man and Gojo that you're walking in Gojo that year.


I'm not even kidding. I asked for that for Christmas. You're a criminal for not carrying on that tradition.


I know. I know that it's I know that I don't have children.


What am I going to do, like bulbs and what do you want for Christmas? I got to hand it to my mom in her traditions just that like she really did stick true and true, like making me carve a pumpkin until I was a sophomore in college, like making me come home to carve that pumpkin. And Christmas morning was always the best my brother and I like. She would not let us come down the stairs until her video camera was rolling.


I have 18 years of video camera footage of us opening Christmas presents, which I think is the best I love so much of my brother.


And I would be so excited. And we just would like sleep in the same room trying to watch Rugrats because we couldn't fall asleep all night because we were so excited at the idea of walking downstairs and having our cookies been gone. Did you lay out cookies? No. Well, me and my God, mom used to make a bunch of sugar cookies that we would decorate and she would do something a little bit like more British, like instead of a stocking while I was sleeping.


My God, Mom, Casey would bring in a bunch of presents and put it on, like my nightstand. Oh, that is so I'd wake up to present their Kissi was like Kissi was fucking Santa. Like I never believed in Santa. I knew Casey was like the magic.


Oh, so you never ever. No, I just I just knew it was Casey. She was she was literally Santa. She would hear me say all year what I wanted and I would wake up to every single item.


That's so cute. It's and it's crazy. Like, it's really crazy because I don't know, kid needs everything that they're asking for. And like, at the end of the day, it's like the thing that feels the most special is just being seen and heard by this woman who's like, I want you to have a great day and feel special.


Yeah, I remember the moment I found out Santa wasn't real because I talk my mom because when I was five, I was trying to find wrapping paper to wrap my presence. And I looked under her bed to get the wrapping paper because it was like in a bin. And I found one of the things I had asked for from Santa and I ran in her bathroom.


I was like, Mom, I know you're Santa, but I like her. I was like, I'm not leaving this room until you confessed to me.


I don't think your life was so crazy.


All right, you guys, we have such an exciting show for you today. We're actually going to call some of the people that watch this show to give in real time advice, which I'm over the moon about. And we're going to do some fun, hot topics. But first, we have our very first sponsor. Can you believe it?


Wait, I didn't even know. Yes. Why don't you tell me?


You know, I ask for your permission on this one specific number. You didn't tell me it was done online. Yeah, right before Christmas. I felt like I really wanted to get up and moving before I started putting ads in the show. So hopefully you guys are excited about this as well and can support them to support us in getting ads down the line. So it is bright sellers, which I'm very excited about. They're a subscription wine service.


And if you know me, I am obsessed with wine.


If you watch any of my main channel videos and I've always got a glass tumbler of white wine, I'm like not the brightest tool in the shed because when I'm walking down the aisles at the grocery store, I have no idea what to choose. I'm like, OK, the bottom shelves cheaper. Maybe I'll just do like one of the ten dollar ones and hope for the best. But this is a subscription service where you go on online, you answer seven questions that takes like thirty seconds and they send you an array of the most beautiful bottles of wines that explain them.


And it also says, like pairing this wine with pasta.


And I ordered Italian food the other night. I tried the pasta one and I was just like living my best Christmas spirit life.


It's also a great gift to give. Right, because I did ask you, because you're sober, you drink. And I was like, are you OK with this? And you're like, yes, because I would give this as a gift.


Everybody in my life drinks. Like my mom would love this as a gift if I was the type of person who gave them.


And it is, oh, I would love to say I got my mom a subscription, like maybe a book and will I don't know, we'll use the code.


What's cool about it is you rate each wine you get so it gets more specific. And then if you hate one of the wines they send, you can actually return it and they'll replace it. So Bridezillas is giving all of you fifty percent off of your first six bottle box if you go to right. Sellers Dotcom the city again that is bright sellers dotcom slash the PCIP for fifty percent off your first box of six bottles of wine. Thank you Bright Sellers so very much.


Are you ready for top topics. It's not just a store anymore.


I'm fine. I've had four shots of espresso at this point. I'm like, oh my God, I'm spilling my fucking spillar. All right. This is the perfect time to get into hot topics.


There are officially aliens among us, allegedly.


And I know you and I officially, allegedly were being ruined by aliens. All I don't know.


They're being ruined if they've been here and they haven't heard us yet. I think that's a great sign. And, you know, I'm fucking scared. Well, I. I know. And I'm normally the glass half full. I do think they're going to just benefit us. If anything.


I think they have been in charge this entire time and I'm not tripping about it. Again, I'd like to reiterate, I love whatever simulation they are playing for me. I'm psyched with how my life is going. Please don't fuck this up. All right.


So Israel's former space security chief of thirty years, a very well respected man. Yeah. Might I add intel maybe. Now, who knows how people will receive this information? Claims that aliens exist and apparently are. President Trump knows it as well.


I don't know that they would let Trump. Now, I feel like that's something they definitely keep from him just because he, like, pops off and says whatever the fuck he wants to do, whatever you want.


I will note, a year ago, Trump did set up the Space Force as the fifth branch of the U.S. armed forces. But it's also like we've had like Space Force ask things since like Reagan.


OK, so this man claims that we've been in contact with what he calls the Galactic Federation for years.


Apparently, Trump was ready to inform the public, but the galactic asked him to hold off to avoid what he says is.


Mass hysteria, we really think that Trump would listen to anybody else. Well, see, and I do think had Trump known about this pre-election, that would have been one of his leading factors.


They would have killed him like they killed Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.


There's no way they're letting a motherfucker live who's like Omoto, your secret galactic nation, somebody apparently delegating between the two because you say that there is currently a secret underground base on Mars where the American and alien representatives are coexisting and working together. Sounds great.


Sounds like a great time.


I mean, my question is like, what are we doing with the aliens? How are we working and connecting with them? And what the fuck does this mean for our future?


God, dude, I don't know. I just honestly think it means very little for our future. I like honestly, I think it I think that's the case. Like, if this guy is coming forward and talking and the information that he has is legit, it's because they've decided it's time to like provide a little bit of information. And like their whole thing for the longest time was like, we have to make the world feel like they're crazy if they provide proof of UFO.


But there's been proof of UFOs for years. For decades. Right. Like maybe even centuries.


I mean, I'm excited to think about what could come from people on Earth working with people from who knows where coming together underground on Mars. I'm never going to Mars.


You're not going to catch me on Mars. What's that noise? I'm never leaving this planet unless I, like half do. But like, I don't see that happening.


I'd be down to interact with the aliens.


I don't want to interact with anyone. I don't want to interact with anyone.


I, I honestly feel like the only thing that could possibly come of this is like a great energy source that like kind of changes the dynamic of like how everybody works and like survives and like life might become a little bit more when we went from hunters and gatherers to like people who lived in like one village and like got to start exploring like the arts and like storytelling and like farming and shit like that. And like our civilization had a massive boost at that point in time.


I honestly feel like with the introduction of, like, you're not crazy, aliens are real.


We might see another shift in the way that, like, humanity evolves intellectually.


Well, yeah, because they have had to have been evolving on their own independently as we have evolved on our own. And if we can combine forces and merge those things, we're often jetpacks, which I'm also fascinated by.


I'm just not trying to manifest like a War of the Worlds scenario because that scares me. Like in 2012, I used to walk around with a fifth of vodka on my person at all times in case the world started ending.


I could just get blackout drunk and not have to deal with that. Like that's how scared I used to be.


But now I live in a world of like, it's going to be great. We're going to get new energy. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Millions for Christmas.


I'm moving on to this MoD's on. I'm I'm going to let you headline the story because I honestly, I it was a lot of aliens and mudslides and a drama all in one day, a lie.


So basically, Tana came back to doing story times on our channel because she started losing followers because she was doing a David Dobra style blog instead, which she didn't.


She was like, I'm going to have three bucks a we. And then she posted like two and whatever. Girl, it was cute. I didn't mind it personally. I watched them. I did think they were kind of fun.


I still have your clothes, Dana, if you're wondering. Come on the podcast, OK, you have them all. Give them back. OK, so anyway, so she does the story time. And the story that I found the most interesting is like Tana and Madson apparently were a romantic couple and Madsen is a music producer.


He's produced a lot of Bella Thornes music as a music producer and an artist himself.


To date, Bella thought he was dating Bella Thorne and Hannah at the same time. And then he and Bella split up. And his relationship with Hannah was not public.


They were just best friends. She was just on tour with him and like in his tour bus and like at his house every day and like, walking dogs with him and like not a couple, but like definitely a fucking couple.


Right. And so I guess they broke up and it didn't go well.


And so he wrote this song called Karma. He wrote a bunch of songs like Stay Away from Me, Karma in my Bones, like they're all about tonight, apparently she really hurt this man.


I will say I do like the song. I like the song, too. I think it's a. It's bringing me back to Blink and and is doing that as well. There hasn't been they work together.


He produced the song, so I don't know that he produced the song. But I do know that Machine Gun Kelly directed the music video for it and bringing it back to TNA.


She decided to go out for dinner one night at Boa Steakhouse because that's what cool people do.


I don't know, I've never met. But she like called that and she's like, yo, can I get a private area for me and my boys? And they're like, yeah, there's only one other private party there tonight. So, like, you'll be alone. They're celebrities, too. No one's going to bother you. She sits down and her friends are like, Yo, you OK, dude? And she's like, why wouldn't I be OK?


And she like, turns around fucking mods on standing on a chair behind her.


And she's like, Let's just go with machine gun, with machine gun Kelly, Megan Fox, whoever the new famous person that Mattson's dating, which and I don't have any proof of this, I think is either Demi Lovato or Avril Levine. Not that it's our fucking business, but I do think that because apparently his new girlfriend is in a listener and like that could be Avril Levine if the year was 2008. But it's not.


So the question is like, what would you do if you ran into your toxic ex?


It gets worse, though, because after he she sees him, she gets up and all of her friends get up from the table to leave.


And as she's leaving, he starts screaming, singing the lyrics of his song Karma about her at her back while she looks, which is and I think the lyrics are something like, I hope you choke on every lie that you ever said to me.


I hope you move out of this city suddenly. I hope you get everything that you deserve because karma's a bitch. I've heard. Wow. I want to like I want to see Megan. What's her name? Megan Fox.


In the scenario. I just want to see her like opening her purse while Madsen screaming.


Yeah. I mean, like realistically, I don't think these that whole table was petty enough to be screaming it at Tanne. I think they were probably just having their single release party and singing the song, do you know what I mean?


And it was just horrible timing because, like, I don't know, that's a level of petty that, like, I could totally get behind, but like, it takes a psycho person to do some shit like that.


Yeah. And who knows what Tanne and then did in their relationship. But have you ran into a toxic ex boyfriend, a friend in real life? And what do you do?


Have you or you were like do you even talk about relationships? And I was like my only friend breakup ever was with you. But we got back together. We did. Well, I guess.


No, I had two friend break because I broke up with you over aligning with a friend that I had broken up with.


Right. And then you and I didn't talk for like maybe a decade. And then one day a decade, I don't know, like three years.


Was it three years where you were? I haven't even been here that long term. I thought I was the one that hit you up afterwards.


And I was like, hey, I don't like this. I miss you. Can we go hiking? And then I slowly integrated you back into my life. We started by, like, hiking once a month and then I was hiking once a year.


But I did miss you. I hate everyone here.


I felt that you chose somebody. We were bastards and you chose somebody that you didn't really know over me because you guys were like riding together.


Well, to be fair, the way that that whole relationship crumbled with you in this third party, we'll call them Max.


But I didn't know how severely toxic this friend of yours was because it just it seemed kind of petty to me. And I in my mind, I could have both, you know what I mean? Like, I could have a private relationship with this man and a private relationship with you.


And looking back on it, I now realize that you were so upset almost in a super protective way.


Well, yeah, because, you know, like you knew something that I didn't know. Well, it wasn't just me. He had had been dropped by four or five of my other friends because they had also rubbed them all the wrong way.


Yeah, I mean, it just took me, you know, getting abused and used to come to that conclusion myself. But even I think you and I started talking again before I dumped him.


Yeah. You guys were still working together because I had gotten over it. That would be the only person that it might be awkward if I had run into in the past. Now it's like so far behind me that I would just say, like, hi, how are you?


But I said it's like that would be my fear of running into a toxic ex.


Yeah, but speaking of guidelines, Instagram did make their guidelines more clear recently, saying that butts are out like you'll get removed if you bust your butt.


Yeah, but you can breastfeed.


You can show stretch marks or lines.


Yeah, I am confused about how this is going to go down. Like, ah, there's going to be a shutdown of more jobs at Instagram where people all day are just looking at butts like, well this but has enough stretch marks to be valid on the platform. This puts a little bit too soft for us to have posted online. It looks too good and voluptuous, like what's going on?


What's going to happen with Dick wiggling? It's up for debate.


Dick wildlings. Fine. Nobody said shit about Dick wiggling on this, right? It's all about ladies butts breastfeeding. And if you're like if you've got stretchmarks, that's. But whatever, like what I see, I, I feel as though Dick wiggling is porn the same way that I know when you can see a girl's full nipple through her shirt is kind of porn you like. I've been watching a lot of 90s television shows. Yeah.


Like there's a lot nipples that maybe Toe Nipple or Rachel Green and friends I can always see like her Hardan. And I'm like, this is like if I was a straight man in the 90s, I'd be aggressively jacking off to her nipples because I like very pornographic.


And the same with like I was watching Dawson's Creek and they do the same show and I was like, Paul, was this a thing of the time where they were like, take off your bra, let's get you.




Have you seen Showgirls? No. OK, there's a movie called Showgirls from the early 90s. And like there's a scene literally where this girl's like a showgirl in Vegas and they walk down the line of showgirls with all their feathers and their tops off and shit with a tray of ice. And this girl has put ice on her nipple. Jamaican accent That's what I imagine like Jennifer Aniston being like, hold on, Tom.


Like, don't roll the camera on my nipples real quick. And then they're, like, putting their names to her. I mean, I live for it, but it does get a little pornographic.


So then you brought to my attention it's sweatpants season.


Yeah. You can see full. You can see I can talk to circumcised.


And if you're not, I can see the whole like I can see the head outline of your penis, I can see the veins on it if you're throbbing and if you're a celebrity and you know that you regularly get paparazzi walking in your neighborhood or going to your local Starbucks, it's a choice to not wear underwear.


Look at their design. What are you doing?


Because like, I walk around my own house with no underwear under my sweatpants because. Well, yes, because it's more comfortable. But I'm very aware that my dick is flopping around. Like, when I walk my dogs, I put on some fucking underwear because I don't want to offend my neighbor.


I mean, it's crazy. Yes.


And create these celebrities knowing that they're going out there like Dick out for the show, like, do they want the pop?


Maybe I should go to Boa Steakhouse. We just walk without underwear. Just kind of. Oh, my God, can I go with you and can I wear sweatpants and bring one of my fake dicks?


No, I want you to wear a spaghetti strap and ice your nipples.


See, here's the deal. I don't want fake nipples because I'm not that I'm not a nipple girl.


I imagine us holding hands your nipples hard as rocks. My penis just couldn't do that.


Why should we do that today? That's a good visual for the podcast.


Are you busy with the Hollywood fix on text message?


You ask me every day when I'm coming to up my luggage out back like low key.


Should we do this and should we get like, I'll chew up some bubble gum and like, put it on so my nipples like a salad. I'm like not wear a bra with it if you're down.


I'm into it. Do you what do you wear to bed. I mean what the fuck that I saw this is something, this is like a Segway but I had seen like on Instagram, on Instagram. She was like just curious, what do you guys wear to bed?


And I was like, oh, that is interesting because I and I have varying like sleep attire. Yeah. What do you wear? Nothing. Oh, I would feel what if there's a fire. Doesn't matter. I'm invader's. It doesn't matter.


We're trying to get in some on my parents house for Christmas and I'm still naked in the bed she says and the sheets are clean.


I don't it's not about that. It's about the threat.


I can't comfortably like live my life and sleep comfortably if I have boxers.


I mean, our fully nude too, huh? But so what if someone tries to come at you with a knife while you're in there? You're telling me you don't sleep naked?


I don't sleep naked. I don't shower naked. I do nothing. I haven't seen my vagina in twenty years.


Hopefully you go to your OBGYN and it's clear. What's that I sleep in that I love that pajamas that I got from fuck. I'm the worst influence. I don't even know who sent me these pajamas, but they are made of bamboo. They're really nice. So you sleep in pajamas? I'm bored.


Oh my God, you're such a bitch.


OK, I want we have a lot to get to so I'm not cutting you off. I'm not being rude to you. I think just saying that doesn't make it not true. That is funny. Yeah. OK, I'm fucking rude. I'm fucking room. That's why this is why it's the last episode ever.


Motherfuckers, when we don't come back and believe it's because I can't handle the comments, they're like, he's so rude to Lizzie. Can we address the thumbnails. Yeah. Are you offended that you're a little bit smaller?


No, I don't even notice. And the thing is, I get text messages from you all the time being like, are you okay with something? Like, I don't give a fuck what the thumbnail looks like.


People get really concerned about it in the thumbnail. And listen, I know the people that already watched the show love you. You're watching just as much for you as they're watching for me. I'm not oblivious to that.


Yeah. Thank you for it. Now, when when I'm trying when we're still trying to build out the show, you don't have a previous Internet platform and my parents are watching.


I brought an audience.


Has nothing to do with your abilities or how wonderful you are on the show. Some would most would argue you're better than me on the show.


I would argue I'm I'm more familiar to a lot of people scrolling on the Internet.


So it makes it from a marketing standpoint, it just is what it is for now.


In a couple of months, you'll be the only one in, if you like.


You're mad at me about this. And I still. Don't give a a rapid fire hot topics courtesy of the movie The Fracking Boom. Yeah, really quick. Kardashians are moving to Hulu. I called it. I knew these fuckers were leaving because they wanted a bigger paycheck. Is over party. They have no more shows that I want to watch. They canceled E news. The Kardashians are not coming back. It's like, why even go there anymore?


My theory is they wanted to cut Ryan Seacrest, the executive producer role, because he's cutting a fat check of what they make. So now if they go to Hulu by themselves, they're making all the money themselves. And here's my other issue.


If they're now all executive producers on the show, is it going to be as real as it once was?


I'm also going to watch now.


I don't watch right now because it's too hard for me to go to TV. The recordings were on Hulu.


I can find it at any time. I've never had this much caffeine in my life, okay? Sobbing I may have to disagree. Have anything to add to the garden? I'm scared. Taylor Swift released an album, I got to say.


Way to Taylor Swift's new album. I got to say, I was fully satisfied with the last one. I loved it. I came to terms with I listen to it every day. It's my top. Listen to album of the year, Spotify tells me.


I know I didn't need another album. I'm going to accept the album because it cost me nothing, but I'm just not as excited as I once was.


Do we need to break down what's going on with you guys? I need a few ideas because this is the most intense I've ever seen you in a book in 10 years. I literally cried. Have you heard the Taylor Swift album? No, I haven't, because I can't remember my Apple login. And I restored my phone because I had to update it for the new update or whatever. Last thing I'll say is I'm also crazy about new music.


I'll I'll look over at Shane and be like, I hate it. They shouldn't have released it. And then in a week I'm like, this is my most played song of the year. So that's just me.


Almost like you just tried cocaine for the first time. I've never heard that noise coming out of your body. And it's really like, oh my God, I get to be addicted to caffeine in five seconds. I'm so scared for Shane to see this footage of you. Like, honey, I'm just so ready to give people advice.


When we come back, we're giving motherfuckers advice in real time.


I hope I don't ruin their lives. I'm going to be really calm.


Do you need. Maybe go for a walk, we're going to take a little walk around the house. I don't know, I normally don't drink espresso and I had coffee and espresso. I'm like, really? Like, maybe this is what it's like to be on Coke.


Never tried it. Oh, my God. We'll be back.


So you literally have lipstick on your strand of hair that I knew this was going to happen. God, which where. No, hold on. Not OK.


We took a break and oh my God, there's no coming back from it all through the hair. Just swipe it down.


This is I can't just wipe it down.


This crazy energy is something else from both of us. When we were on our little break, Lizzie literally sent me a photo of her being in the shed, which I'm going to share with them.


You can't send me something I figured you would. Why do you think I looked cute? How many takes did you do to.


Honestly, I would pay for that photo. Oh, my God. Wait. Should we charge it? Is this the start of the only family? It's just me. But I've been joking about this.


I've officially decided I'm going to limit my caffeine intake. Yeah, I don't think you're OK. I've never I've never in all of my years of you seen you this fucking hyped. I love it. I'm living for it. I feel bad that I love you. So altered after this.


Do you want to die these strands green with me. You mean color them with marker?


No, I'm talking about do you want to get some punk hair dye. And I my strands green with me.


I love you but I have to edit this show today. Today we're in to work so hard for us. We're on a tight turnaround. OK, our first caller of the day, let's try to connect her on the phone.


I'm getting responses from that picture. You've already sent it out. Yeah, I sent it to all my friends. You know, I do this. I edited it for some. Oh, my gosh, you can hear it. I'm honestly kind of nervous, you know, like I've never had called somebody to give them advice.


I mean, you also have, like, so much caffeine in your system. I'm going to be cool. Is it ringing? I'm going to right now. Are you ready?


I guess I'm going to this is what's going to make me fame. I'm sweating like I'm going to faint. I don't know where to put these legs anymore.


I'm so nervous. The car been turned into an automatic. Is that personal? First one to climb, I didn't need this kind of rejection after taking office behind the shot and dealing with whatever I'm dealing with today. Like what?


You don't know how much it takes out of me to do that squat behind the shed like I'm not an able bodied person. Cameraman's losing at the ship sinking. I'm going I'm going to go join Ethan on frenemies. Oh, my gosh. Huh?


Hello, this is Rylant and Lizzie, I swear. Shut the fuck up. No knowing how to read up up. I'm so excited.


Thank you so much for answering your phone. I'm so excited to talk with you. Can you tell us a little bit about what's going on and your situation and why you need advice?


OK, so I don't with this guy for like 15 years, we're not married, but we say we're married. But, you know, because after 15 years, I feel like I deserve that title. A common law probably.


I have never seen before. It's weird. Is he hiding them from you? You've never heard his what? His feet wide. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. You've been with this man for 15 years and he's you've never seen his bare feet ever. What?


Well, is he hiding them from you or you just. It's never happened.


From me, from everybody who don't you invite why he goes into the bathroom, he goes into the bathroom, red socks and shoes on, and then he comes out the same way, are you lying? I'm dead serious.


I was like, you guys have never been to a swimming pool together or an event. No, you don't get in there.


You've never been on a boat or in a lake. Like, does he wear water shoes? No, he goes.


So we have we own a boat in the water. He goes, he goes and it's like gym shoes.


And so when you guys are intimate, is he does he just wear socks, the socks? And have you confronted your man about this?


Like, Hey, man, I want to see your feet, like, are you okay.


What does he say? Nothing. I see him.


I said, when you die you're going to haunt me because I'm of as we all know, I'm going to go Nicole like there's no for 15 years this man has had socks on. Well, OK, there might be something going on that he doesn't want. Like I've had a plant or work before and it took like a year to get away.


I wouldn't need a plant maybe as you. Well, I like going to yoga. And I hid from my yoga studios because I didn't want anyone to, like, be looking at my feet thinking like, oh, like he's I'm not saying your husband's gross, but I my perception was other people were thinking I was gross because of this. And maybe he is like, I don't ever want to give you a reason maybe to not be sexually attracted to me.


Ten years is a long time to hold that boundary.


I'm saying no, I don't know what to do. I kind of want to just rip off and run.


I just can't believe that he doesn't give you, like, all like an appropriate excuse as to why he's doing this.


If you guys have a healthy relationship, sorry to cut you off. But like, if you know that your relationship is solid in every other aspect, what's the probability of like before he wakes up in the morning? You kind of peeling it off? Yeah, it's too late. Like it's too far to gone. You've already seen what's going on before. He can I don't know.


I mean, I've tried every move like, oh, my feet are glued. And I was kind of trying to dig, like, my feet into his sock and try to rip it off. Really, like he's like, I don't even know, like a ninja because he's super quick and pulls them right back on.


Yo, I'm not trying to advocate for, like, dosing senior partner, but go on with that motherfucker.


Some Zeke will knock his ass out real quick and I'm thinking that is not advice you should take.


However, I got to know maybe you guys and I saw pictures, Nicole, when you knock this bitch out, I want pictures of those feet because I got to know what he's hiding over the holidays.


Maybe just get a little too drunk if you're not sober and just be like, come on, show me the feet.


Or if he's in the other room, let's just confront this head on. Yeah, go get him right now. What the I like we won't be me.


No, Lizzie, this is a good question. Is it aggressive? I'm so sorry, Nicole. I'm just like I'm shook by this information.


We're so honored to speak with your partner of fifteen years. We will be very caring. Do you think he would be open to talking to us if we gently ask him what's going on?


No, he he would be like, let me hang up. No, no pressure on it.


Then when he takes a shower or when I take a shower, you know, like you want to go in and you really quickly pee. Yeah. Something like that. Like I've never even he just likes his personal space but I don't know what to do about it.


Is he afraid of your feet? Like does he have a phobia in general?


Oh no, I don't think so.


You could I don't know you and I'm not I don't want to speak for you, but like aside from a tattoo on his foot, that's like literally him admitting to murder, there's probably something there's probably not something that's going to completely alter your love or your lust for a man that you've been with for fifteen years, right?


No, absolutely not like him. His brother said when they were younger, he used to have really bad hangnails, but I don't know how true that is. And he used to, like, go with them, you crazy? But I don't know.


Has his base which are hiding his brother seeing his feet. When they were younger, but not anymore, like he don't literally touch water, so he don't have to take off your shoes or his socks.


I do wonder if you if you approached it very, very lovingly, like, hey, baby, I got it. I got to let you know something. It is it has been weighing on my mind for 15 years. Why you're uncomfortable with me seeing your feet. I love every part of your body and there's not something I could ever reject about you. Can I please know what you've been hiding?


And if it is something that he views as problematic or something that he doesn't want people to see, he's probably more exhausted than you are honestly hiding them at all times from not only you, but everyone in his life.


So it's like you could be there to offer support and going to the correct foot doctor or whatever it might be he's dealing with.


I think getting to the root of the situation in a loving space, being like I've always been on your team, I want to help. But I also like need this to move forward in our relationship.


Yeah. So just say that I wouldn't but approach it with so much love, like so much love and. Should I do it after like, like suck him off and then like, you know, we'll be laying in bed.


Listen, Nicole, I don't know what you're loving, what you're in his love languages, but if that's it, then maybe I just like there's parts of my body that I'm mortified by and I'm not even going to name them. I'm so embarrassed by them. But my fiancee has a very sweet way of, like, noticing when I'm hiding something about my body. And he'll really kindly, like, say, you know, I think that's so hot.


Like, I love that part of your body, like, oh, you're perfect. Like, really nice things like that. And and it really opens me up to being like, oh, thank you for saying that. Like, I've actually been hiding the fuck in my armpits for decades. Thank you for embracing my armpit.


And that is the thing that will set you and him both free. Because in my relationship with Shane as well, the things that I always hated about myself were things that he always validated and then would say, actually, those are reasons I fell in love with you, and that makes me love Shane even more.


So I think the most loving approach you can take.


But from a genuine standpoint, not like I need to see your feet, like let me rip your socks off more like I want to be a part of your life and I want to help you with whatever it is you're struggling with.


Yeah. And then send us pictures. I never even thought about it that way. I just thought about just like ripping them off after asking them so many times. I mean, I get it.


I would be I mean, I'm impatient and yeah, I've only known about this for a few minutes now.


And I can I think you can express your like I have approached this wrong in the past because it's felt like such a secret. But I want you to know it's coming from this place and this is why.


But yeah, hopefully you can have that conversation with him and hopefully he feels comfortable enough to open up with you and hopefully you'll email me back and tell me what's going on.


Nicole, I got a no no thank you. I feel like my business is definitely going to try.


Yeah, I'm going to drive a Nicole, we appreciate you so much. Thanks for calling or answering our phone call. Thank you. Thanks for sharing your story with us. And I really can't wait to hear how it goes. And good luck in a lot of love to you and your fans.


Thank you. I can't wait to see the next episode. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Have a great day. Bye.


All right, you guys, before we go, I thought we would do a quick year in review. Just a little check.


Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stop you there. I know you're on a great flow, but you really fucking caught me off guard with your hot topics. Hot take such. And I really wanted to talk about why does this always happen to me?


The farter. Oh, Rudy Giuliani, Rudy Giuliani fighting on air. I really wanted to talk about it. And the funniest thing I've seen in a long fucking time, I can't get over it. I, like, died laughing out loud that.


But honestly, Rudy Giuliani farting and having it caught on the mike made me laugh as hard as I laughed while you were losing your mind.


It's like the woman who's sitting next to him just goes, I'm like, well, looks are like looks for a friend. She like starts in her seat and like her eyes get big and she just stares at him like with a whip stare. And then she like looks around for somebody else to like, feel the moment with her. But she's so alone in the fact that she's sitting next to one of America's biggest leaders that just ripped ass and was caught on the fucking mike.


And he just keeps going like a sociopath, as if nothing's happened.


Like it's embarrassing knowledge, intelligent. Maybe he had a raging stomach ache and he just thought releasing it with a sleeve.


And he's a man of a certain age. But I will say this. When I was at summer camp at UCLA, I was doing a scene study with this girl and she ripped off loud. And I was I didn't know how to handle it. Like sometimes in those situations I would try to blame it on the other person. Even if it's just two of us there, I'll die on that fucking hill.


And this girl just went, excuse me, my stomach's not feeling great. And all the weirdness evaporated from the room.


All Juleanna, I had to do like, did I do that? Like it? Just a quick circle moment, just so that everybody in the room doesn't have to feel like a fucking weirdo. You ripped ass on the MIT.


It's a hard thing to own up to, but I do agree it would take away the weirdness if you if you just the accountability, like most things in life, take accountability. And most of the times nine out of ten times you're fine.


And that's our advice, though. That's our advice, though.


What have the biggest positive impact on your life this year?


OK, one of the most positive impacts on my life this year was you and you literally. I'm not being weird. Don't cite me like that. I didn't. So it felt like there was a shrug and a sigh.


No, that's very wonderfully, beautifully nice.


I wish you had received it a little bit better. Just tell me why you love me and why I'm such a blessing. We'll know. So here's the deal. So like this year, a lot of things shifted and changed for me. I was presented with a lot of opportunities that I feel so incredibly blessed to have that I feel like I've been working towards like my entire adult life. And a lot of times when I'm faced with success or opportunity, I have this self discriminating response which demands that I put myself lower than I'm worth.


All right. And I think that that's really toxic. And it's something that's really a hard habit to break, believing that you're not worthy. And every. I've had one of these opportunities arise, I call you for support, and you are 100 percent of the time like Lizzie, this is your value. You're worth it. This is what you ask for. This is what you deserve. And it is not weird for you to ask or get these things that you are requesting because it's what your work is worth.


Yeah. And I really appreciate that. And now, like, because I don't have an agent team or whatever, like all I have is an attorney who will like, looks at my contract.


I have to advocate for myself. And it is so empowering to get on these calls with these people and just be like, not today, honey.


Like I saw the last dance and I will not be Scottie Pippen and this is what my contract is worth. And if you want me, you pay my fee.


And yeah, it's very important, no matter what kind of job you're in or after to know what you're worth, do the research, do the work and figure that out, because everyone, every business, every employer is trying to get the most for the least. Yeah. And so you really need to step up and speak out for yourself. As hard as that may be, as if your voice is, it doesn't matter. The more times you do it, the better you're going to get at it.


And you just have to realize everyone's trying to fuck you over. So you have to stand up for yourself.


Exactly. And just hearing your voice saying exactly that in the back of my head, when I'm talking to these people who are holding my dreams in their hands, like empowers me to not be like I'll do it for free, which I'm grateful for the opportunity.


Like, that's fucked. Nobody should be working for free. Even if it's your dream job. It's called a job.


You're doing it in exchange for your livelihood. And that's what everything like even if it is your dream job in five months from now, it will be your real job and regular problems will arise. And like, yes, you're so blessed to do what you love, but if you accepted to do it for half your rate, you're going to be kicking yourself and miserable.


So yeah, yeah. Own up to it. So I loved that for me. So thank you. Thank you.


I've learned it from being fucked over so many times in my life, but I've got a business standpoint.


Yeah. For me, I wanted to answer how did your self perception change this year?


And I think this year more than most, I've had to do a lot of reflecting and I think in hard times everyone's having a hard time this year.


That's when you take a step back because you're jolted into thinking about it. And on the negative side of it, I've become a lot more sensitive and like I'm worried about everyone and everything at all times.


And I've never been in overthink or where I leave a situation.


I'm like, oh, and just oh yeah, I'm overthinking more than ever because I think I'm more in tune with how others around me are feeling. And it's so annoying for me.


But on the other end of that, I think like through meditation and taking a breath, I have become more in tune with myself and what I want and where I want to go. And I've watched a lot of things that don't matter to me what it sure is.


We did a past tense where we don't know.


Here's why we need are you OK? We've done eleven episodes and you're surprised that I'm making up word? No, I'm just surprised that there is a word that I'm not entirely sure what you meant.


Like usually I can decipher what it is you were searching for or attempting, but like and I'm positive in this one actually.


Now I know it's weed it I'm not I'm not stuck.


And New Year's resolutions for me getting great guests on this podcast, I want to go above and beyond and trying to get some mainstream celebrities on this podcast. Of course, other YouTube. I just want to really build it out and have conversations with fascinating people that I may have never had contact with before.


I want to talk to that guy, David Politesse, who met Bigfoot. Well, yeah, you have access, right? Yeah, I know where he lives. Well, we'll be knocking on his door next year.


Go in the restaurant. What's your New Year's resolution? Joe and I have been talking about getting hypnotized to quit smoking.


Talking about. I sparked that. I know you sparked it, but now Joe and I are talking.


Now, it's a duo thing. I to get you both hypnotized in the know, but on the block to you. I'm not going to turn that down honestly.


That's a twenty, twenty one episode. I'm going to get you guys both hypnotized. Bring that man here and we're all going to talk about it. All right, you guys. Well thank you so much for watching and enjoying this this year. This honestly has been the most positive, happy, successful thing in my life this year. And we're so happy that we get to do this.


Sometimes I'm like, wow, this. I can't believe it. Yeah, this is the sickest job I've ever had. And ones like, what do you think about him? Like, what's the best job I've ever had? And I've had some good jobs.


All right, you guys, you can follow this app on Instagram at the official. We're also on there. Personally, I would say we'd be here every Wednesday, but we'll be gone for two weeks.


Please remember, live in our lives. We'll be back the first week of January. I think it is after the first after New Year's Eve.


Yeah, we'll be back.


I think we're at. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.


All right, you guys, thank you so much for watching and supporting the show. We will see you next year.


Oh, my God. My stomach just dropped like the. And that's the thing that I really appreciated your little a little indicating. Yeah. All right. Good bye.