Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

On today's episode of the CIP, should Valentine's Day be a gift giving day? Plus, we're diving into the simulation theory. Oh, you guys are welcome to another episode of the zip I'm running out of, I glitched the simulation, I fucking I'm running out, of course, joined by Lizzie Borden.

[00:00:30]

Thank you for censoring yourself.

[00:00:32]

Friends who live together stay together.

[00:00:33]

Oh, I thought you were just like trying to get our accents up without posting in the first. Like, does my cussing affect our income? I have no idea. Oh, then I won't. I'm assuming we continue to not give a flying fuck.

[00:00:44]

Listen, I'm sorry. Don't make me. You told me.

[00:00:48]

No, don't you dare leak this name on the internet. You've got secrets.

[00:00:55]

Weird. OK, so I could be going on to your Reddit thread.

[00:01:02]

Oh my God. That is not a safe place. Do I have to run it through? I'm assuming by now you're going to have to read it there.

[00:01:07]

How do you know if you have a Reddit thread? I would love to read it, you know, searching yourself one by one inciter.

[00:01:13]

Yeah, but it turns toxic real quick. Like, I'm not like reading the details.

[00:01:17]

I'm just like, that's my name and like, that's it. OK, well then that's healthy. You should get on Twitter.

[00:01:23]

Today is a very exciting day to be like in a bathtub, crying mascara running down my cheeks, just peisley like back and forth.

[00:01:32]

Today is a very exciting day. I, I am like so ecstatic because we've been working on this for quite some time. But we're finally here. We've arrived with our own SERP, Merche.

[00:01:43]

We have beautiful coffee cups which all show in oh, closer shots if you're all the appropriate side for a little bit.

[00:01:51]

But they're so cute. They're so fun. If you want to drink coffee with us every morning and the SIP mug, feel free to do so. Rylant, Adams, Dotcom. And it's not just the coffee cups, it's the hoodies that we're wearing.

[00:02:02]

It's the hoodie is for me, girl. They come in two different colors, which I'll put up on the screen right now. But the back is where it's really the money shot first and that's the set.

[00:02:14]

It doesn't say no, but it's implied.

[00:02:17]

It's implied.

[00:02:17]

It's an implied it's an implied that if you're wearing it around town and any other sippers, see you, they would automatically say to you, look a little to cheers.

[00:02:28]

OK, sure. I love this so much. So if you guys want to get any of the merch, please don't feel obligated. But it is available at Rayland Adams Dotcom. You'll be able to click shop. It is preorder because of the global pandemic.

[00:02:43]

My dad got the vaccine yesterday. Can you believe it? My mother in law got the vaccine to. Really? Yeah, she got her first round of shots.

[00:02:49]

A lot of people have been getting sick the second round of shots. But then like I think coming out, I'm not like actually sick.

[00:02:55]

They get like symptoms for like a day. Like they have a fever when they wake up from their nap and they're tired and but then they're fine. Right. At this point.

[00:03:01]

I know the vaccine has become very controversial, but I just feel like. The planes are coming out of Syria and sure, those airplanes are not going like their planes and I've never heard a fucking plane sound like that. Well, like we were in your house.

[00:03:15]

It was like, oh, we're not like in a direct path of any airport.

[00:03:20]

So that's why it's fucking weird. Bugs me out a little bit. They've been repaving the roads by my house and I was just doing like the Zoom director thing I've been doing. And I was just I was having, like a panic attack, like looking at the door, like, is it aliens? What's that noise? And then finally, Mary was like the paving the road out front.

[00:03:33]

You crazy. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

[00:03:37]

I did. Did you? Yeah, I had a fantastic day. What did you guys do? Did you celebrate? Did you are you a gift giver on Valentine's Day? Well, I.

[00:03:45]

I'm not good at any gifts or any surprises or keep my mouth shut to any degree. So like the second I have a present for someone, they get it. That that's Shane as well, like leading up to Christmas or Valentine's Day.

[00:03:54]

It's like he'll always start sneaking out gifts like a week in advance because he just can't help himself like the flowers that are sitting back there. I was having a bad day like last week some day. And he just like was like, here's your first kiss.

[00:04:09]

Yeah. I mean, I gave Joe the stuff. I got him. I got I gave Joe the Nike is the day I got in the Nike. Did you go replaced the Nike shoes. I did. I realized that I had to go. I got the veterans on long longer now like he keeps bringing it up in the house and I'm just like, why are you acting like such a silly goose about this?

[00:04:22]

You wear one pair of shoes and he's acting like I'm the crazy one, but I'm not the crazy one.

[00:04:28]

You don't see my dreams right now. But then, you know, I took him to college during those sexy little jogger pants that he looks good.

[00:04:35]

And I love that you two grown adults are like overtaking Hollister. Well, there's so much there's some things that are really nice. Oh, I'm not hating on. Are they basics or do they like Hollister? We can't do the holiday.

[00:04:46]

Once one year for Christmas, Joe picked out a shirt on sale at Hollister that was like on like hot salmon, pink at the top. And then it like on braid into navy blue and had like the Hollister Eagle on it.

[00:04:58]

And I accidentally burned it in the fireplace and then took the ashes out back and buried them in a hole deep, deep, deep inside the earth so that nobody could ever find that homebred T-shirt again.

[00:05:08]

And what did you guys do? Did you go did you have dinner? We went to very good. No, you know what I mean. Yeah, we went to the mall.

[00:05:16]

We went to the fancy one. The one that I like. The one over here. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's Pincham. All the booze. Yeah. Wow. That's so far. I love the Bush Mall.

[00:05:25]

I Khateeb sparked a bunch of controversy on Twitter because she stated like men should get gifts too, but they should be far less than the women get.

[00:05:36]

Right. And she made the comparison. What was it, flowers and grass. Yeah.

[00:05:39]

Like if he gets you flowers then you get him grab what is what was the second comparison. Show you the follow up for those of us who didn't appreciate the comparison and appreciate that she said if you buy her thousand dollar Louboutin heels, she should buy you a five for five hundred and fifty.

[00:05:58]

Oh, that's how much you gets by this? I guess so.

[00:06:01]

I mean, we're trusting our sources, but I just thought people were all kinds of up in arms about that. And for me, Valentine's Day isn't about the gifts, but rather showing the person you love, you care about them. And even if you're not in a relationship like before I was in a relationship, I always spent Valentine's Day with a friend. I know that.

[00:06:20]

I know that you spent Valentine's Day with a very specific friend. That was not me.

[00:06:25]

Yeah. And so I think it's fun to celebrate and share your love for anyone of your choosing.

[00:06:30]

Shane is like even if that person's not me, even if that person is another friend of yours, we're also female. So it's fine. It's fine. I'm not holding on to anything from the past. Some of us do remember the day that they were told that there is another person who you identify as your Valentine and that it was not me.

[00:06:46]

I was at Nordstrom's and I saw some crocs and I almost got us both crocs, but I didn't know your size. And then I was trying to find Shane to give. So she's like, I don't have the time for Lizzie right now.

[00:06:54]

I've texted you my shoe size. OK, well, I'll have to go back and do a whole emergency sizing.

[00:06:59]

Well, one day I'm going to get us those because it was full runners that are like such a statement.

[00:07:08]

Shane's always very thoughtful, like almost too thoughtful because it makes me feel like not thoughtful at all. And so he like again, so I got like most of my fun things the day before Valentine's Day again, he couldn't help himself, which like I love so much and I love that he makes me feel loved. But my favorite thing that he got me and I actually brought it out.

[00:07:26]

Oh, that's that's not for me. He got me this bell bag. This I don't know. Well, obviously, the needles we me the phone runners come whenever I could get them, but he got me the animal crossing runners.

[00:07:40]

Sorry.

[00:07:40]

Yeah, he got us animal crossing bell bag, which is so iconic. What does that mean. It's from Animal Crossing.

[00:07:46]

You want to get it because you want to bell but this is what I mean by like I don't need a gift that somebody spent money on. Yeah. He gave me the bell bag and inside of the bell bag are like personalized notes of things that he's going to do like. And they're so thoughtful, like this one says, one hour of uninterrupted conversation.

[00:08:02]

Like, I don't because you want to just because I like to talk and they're like. They're all just one day of biting me because he knows I have this thing where I just, like, love to bite him like anywhere, and everyone hates it so much.

[00:08:15]

So, like, I could die fighting him because it hurts, like, oh, you bite hard. Yeah. I leave Mark and I always joke that I want him to get a tattoo of my bite mark.

[00:08:25]

That's so funny. Bub's bit James this weekend and we took a picture of it. So here you get the tattoo to do that. I would love it if he did. See, that's because, like, there's not a ring in the world.

[00:08:34]

That's right. For Jane, because I always dress like it's going to go and he always feels like is going to have to go to the hospital and get it right.

[00:08:41]

Are you going to bite his finger?

[00:08:42]

Well, I initially was going to just have him get like my initials or something tattooed on his finger on our wedding day. But now I'm thinking like maybe I should.

[00:08:50]

And even if it's not on his finger, if it's on his arm or something, because I have very specific teeth like everybody does, that's how they get you for murder if you're murdering people.

[00:09:01]

I just a couple one movie in the daytime because he hates movies in the daytime. So does James. That's really cute. I love movies and the like. All day.

[00:09:08]

Yeah, all day. Every day. Why not one. What do we have. Jobs choosing and ordering our food.

[00:09:13]

Because we do fight about who's going to order the food every night. I only have one more for you, but I just left this one night of eating dinner at the table because.

[00:09:21]

Oh because he has this meeting of Omnia, you know. Yeah. It's like if there's not noise he'll go crazy with chewing. Even his own chewing drives him crazy like he turns up the noise for his own chewing.

[00:09:31]

But we just ordered heart shaped pizzas, had a little blast of food quietly with some ambient music playing. Yeah, we actually watched a documentary we're going to talk about. Oh no. With love.

[00:09:41]

With love. I threw it with love.

[00:09:44]

That's what's been going on with you.

[00:09:46]

I know you've been having your period journey, but I mean, girls girls be going through some things. Yeah. So, like, I'm going through this shit where originally I was like, I'm going to play God and I'm stronger than you, Mother Nature, and I shall never bleed again.

[00:09:58]

And then that backfired. So now I've just been like incessantly bleeding for God knows how long I should go see a doctor.

[00:10:03]

But the bottom line is, I'm also afraid of tampons because apparently there's a lot of chemicals in that shit. And I don't wanna put that inside myself, like into a porous fuck in my organic ones.

[00:10:13]

I've never tried organic. I've never tried organic ones. But like, once I deal with I don't know, like I feel like that's weird, too. Like, I don't know. Try it. Those are the ones I use. Well, let's go to one then.

[00:10:22]

I started thinking like back in the day, like we call it being on our rag. Like I want to go like I want to get those just those diapers.

[00:10:27]

You can just like wash and like fold up and like put in my panties and like just sort of have like a pad that's like fabric. But I'm not terrified of it.

[00:10:34]

But anyways, I never bought those things because I can't wrap my mind around going and buying some fucking baby diaper and folding up and putting it in my Huub.

[00:10:43]

So I have been like, so you got to wear the granny panties when you're on those. Yeah.

[00:10:47]

Like the thick pads. Right. But I don't want to wear a thick pad either because it's the same thing is like the chemicals that are in a tampon. Right. So like I'm just I was trying to like spitball thinking about like the best thing to like wedge up in my purse while I'm bleeding. So I just took like a bunch of bouncy paper towels and made like a McGyver pad, like, that's any better than something with chemicals. I mean, someone pointed out to me that that's also like complete.

[00:11:10]

Yeah. Yeah.

[00:11:11]

So that's a bummer. But but so I like, took my McGyver pod because there's a sticky side to it out of my panel, put it on the trash can by the toilet and straight up walked away.

[00:11:25]

So did you do like a roll up for half of it and flat on the outside and like stick it in. Like I'd put it inside my body. I put it in my panties. OK, I got it.

[00:11:34]

I would not I would not suggest anybody ball up some bounty and shove it in there.

[00:11:39]

Hoo ha. And so you disposed of it in the toilet. I didn't even mean to dispose of it. I was just going pee. But because there's no sticky side to it, you have to take it out and put it on the trash can. And so I left it face up, covered in blood on the trash can, completely forgot about it. Went back to the bathroom. Hours later, I live with two men and when I went back to the bathroom, we have one bathroom and I went back and I saw it and I just like my heart sank.

[00:12:03]

I was like, oh, no. And so I like, picked up.

[00:12:05]

And then I was like, walking in the house and or if anybody saw it, like, should I bring it up? Shaking my Nashat are they going to be polite enough to keep their mouth shut like they're all gentlemen. We're all gentlemen here. It's a gentlemen's club. And then I get these fucking text messages from Joe which are crazy and now hold on, I have to read them because they're so upsetting.

[00:12:25]

Joe fucking texted me this shit. Screenshot it so I can put it over. I will.

[00:12:29]

I well, do you want me to get you some of those disposable underwear from CVS until you get back on track?

[00:12:35]

I said, Joe, I'm sorry I left my bloody pad out. He said, all good. I was just trying to help. They have sport fit. I said, I'm moving out of the house. Don't bring this shit up anymore. They have light. Joe responds. They have light, messy super soaker and civil war doctor. And I'll have the scented version.

[00:12:54]

And did me send a picture to know your bloody mess or didn't send that to me? I you sent that to you, I think.

[00:13:01]

But it's somebody like I'm looking through my screen grabs right now. It's like that text convo with Joe. Picture of what I think might be eczema and then just like jalapeno ranch like this is good to you then texting me, freaking out about the size of your vagina because you saw what I know.

[00:13:19]

Whoa, whoa. Am I shaming you now? See, you're like curriers. The deal. I was not freaking out about the size of my vagina. I was freaking out about the size of her vagina.

[00:13:29]

OK, well, let's not hit on anyone's I'm not hating on anyone's vagina, but I do have to say, like, that's an itty bitty.

[00:13:36]

OK, well, this was can that's not that's not I'm not saying there's a problem where we have to reel it in for a second.

[00:13:42]

I really am really was promoting her Valentine's Day launch for her skimps and she has what, barely their thongs and it's a micro thong.

[00:13:51]

And Kim posted herself that it was just enough to cover your clit, which I don't even really understand what that means. Choking on your cap.

[00:13:59]

Oh. Oh, I just had to get it out of my throat. So far, it's been tickling forever. I couldn't focus.

[00:14:06]

So like in in a world in which your vagina isn't itty bitty yawn that you're like lips would hang over those.

[00:14:14]

Dude, I honestly cannot I cannot comprehend anything that small being comfortable on a puss like a day to day lifestyle thing.

[00:14:22]

Like I can't imagine being comfortable in a woman's ass either just right.

[00:14:28]

But that's different. Like my clits not in my butt crack, you know what I'm saying? Like there's not a lot of shit going on in my butthole that's like bothered by the string up there. But like, if you put a string on my hoo ha, it's like my urethra, like my birth canal. This is how much I know about my pussy.

[00:14:44]

Like whatever the second hole is, that squirting happens from like that's annoying.

[00:14:50]

Well and it covered everything on Kendel, covered everything on Kendel in the pictures.

[00:14:55]

But you got caught here now. No, I'm fine. What was going on. I just had a little burping. Oh you were just burping.

[00:15:00]

Sorry. I thought you were coming down here too, because, like, the cat is strong. I need you to focus. So then you were focused on vaginas, right?

[00:15:10]

So then you were screaming at me like, I don't think everyone's vagina is this small. No. And I was like, well, look at the comments, Lizzie. And you're like, oh, I feel more scene now.

[00:15:18]

Yeah, there were a lot of comments and there are a lot of women representing for the pussy movement. So I'm starting a hashtag normalized pussy. And is there going to be photos involved. Yeah, dude.

[00:15:31]

Well, here's the other thing.

[00:15:32]

Like I honestly feel like everybody who grows up like feels like there's a quote unquote normal vagina and it's just like the more porn that you fucking watch and like the more you Google pussy like you find out there is no standard fucking veejay. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, the only thing that's normal about all of them is like on the deep inside were pink. But that's because all human beings are pink on the deep inside. Right.

[00:15:55]

But like that's it. Like there's no there's no common denominator pussy and any pussy that's going to look exactly the same has probably been touched up by a doctor, which like again, all power to you. I don't mind somebody altering their appearance with plastic surgery, but I do think that it's important that women start acknowledging, like the there is no Standard Poor's.

[00:16:16]

Right.

[00:16:16]

And I'm not I'm not ignoring you right now.

[00:16:18]

I'm looking to see if they feel that they know if it is if it is normal, like if there are a lot of skinny bruises out there, it will be sold out. Right. Or I'm sure it's sold out because it's kind of sexy to like lift up and over for your man to enter.

[00:16:32]

I mean, I don't know. I think because the whole point of skims is the practicality for wardrobe use. Right. So why would this just be some sexy shit for some hetero. Well, it's Valentine's Day merchandise, I think.

[00:16:43]

I know, but it came out on Valentine's Day. No one's going to get that for months. I don't know. I'm just saying normalize pussy. We're working one pieces because, you know, I'm into a long sleeve bathing suit. Yeah, whatever. With the pussy movement's about.

[00:16:58]

And with that, we have a sponsor for today's show. Today's episode is sponsored by Hello Toshie. And if you have a butthole, this is for you.

[00:17:06]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's you. It's all of us. And they're the most modern badday in the world. I like when we moved into this house, I had a bad day. It was clunky. It was awful. I had to get it removed because it was always breaking. But hello, Toshie is here to save not only my life, but all of yours. Their newest product, the Tucci 3.0, is here to change the game.

[00:17:27]

It's stylish, it's eco friendly, easy to install and affordable. So if you've never used up a day before, it's incredible. No more Weiping, which can be disgusting and messy precisely. Streams a perfect flow of water towards your tushy, cleans up everything it attaches to your existing toilet. It's so simple to install it, cut your toilet paper use by over 80 percent. So the tissue that's wonderful will pay for itself with the savings that you are no longer buying as much toilet paper.

[00:17:57]

Every hello tissue body comes with a 60 day risk free guarantee and a twelve month warranty. That and it not only cleans your butt, but it. Cleans itself itself sanitizing so you don't have to worry about the particles of your your tissue or tissue on your tissue, back on your tissue.

[00:18:15]

So join millions of people with happy, healthy, clean butts getting a hello tissue product today. Go to Hello, Taishi Dotcom. The zip to get 10 percent off, plus free shipping. Go to Hello Toshie dotcom slash necip to get 10 percent off. Hello Toshie Dotcom this.

[00:18:33]

So this is typically where we would jump into hot topics and I've been having like a moral dilemma. I called you over the weekend kind of freaking out about the state of my life. This show existing in general. Yeah.

[00:18:46]

And I think I've come a long way based upon a lot of different things. Like I had to take a hard look at myself in the mirror and the direction in which my life is going and where I want it to go, where I want to be, what I evaluate as true happiness versus like doing something to be on the treadmill of doing it right.

[00:19:09]

And with this show specifically, like I'm living out my, I guess, childhood, like I've always wanted to have a morning show. And I think that's what I set out to do when we started this show. And I think in turn, when I'm like really taking a step outside of the show and reflecting and looking on into it, I'm. On You Tube, and I feel like I'm swimming upstream against the current because like if we were going in the hot topics, celebrity gossip, culture, YouTube is not really the platform because we're going to talk about hot topics.

[00:19:44]

It's like the hot topics inside of YouTube or the community in which I'm involved in, which is YouTube drama, which would be essentially a drama channel, which like I never wanted to do. But I don't know if, like, transitioning that to talking about celebrities. Lifes are is any more. Yeah. Because I'm a little bit further detached. It's still like making assumptions about people's lives that I know nothing about. Yeah. And when I really think about it, I do see the hypocrisy in it, like because Shane and I have that happen to us all day, every day.

[00:20:15]

And you don't like I don't like the way that it makes me feel yet. I sit here and talk about other people's lives. However, I don't think we've been super salacious and I think we are careful with a lot of the topics we choose.

[00:20:26]

Yeah, and but right now, I do want to just with everything you're saying, say like the Kardashians pussies are beautiful, too.

[00:20:32]

Well, like every place. Beautiful. That was my point. I didn't want to diminish one pussy over another. And I'm not here to say we're never talking about pop culture again.

[00:20:40]

I love pop culture. I think it it changes a little bit of the pop culture.

[00:20:45]

We choose to talk about whether it's a launching point, like, I don't think we're bashing the Kardashians pussy. I think we're talking about a larger conversation that has to do with pussy positivity.

[00:20:55]

So I think that's like different than talking about like somebody who's having a downfall or somebody who's really going through something that, quite frankly, we know nothing about. Yeah, because, like, I don't like how that feels when it's happening to me and I'm like, why is this happening to me? Yeah, I'm sitting here making judgments based on other people that I have nothing no business talking about. Do you know what I mean?

[00:21:18]

Yeah, I got it. And I get like like and we talked about some celebrities today already, but I don't feel like we were bashing them.

[00:21:24]

And I think that's the difference. Like me, like debating whether like Armie Hammer is guilty or not guilty, like I don't know his life right now.

[00:21:33]

And I also don't think that we should ever be put in a position to be the judge, jury and executioner of another person's fate. I think that's pretty fucked up, right? Because like Loki, I think we're great. I think we're I think we're great and I think we're pretty mentally stable.

[00:21:45]

But at the end of the day, like, we're not God, like it's not our place to decide who and what is guilty of something and what in what is not problematic.

[00:21:54]

Right. So I think that's I think that's actually like, really beautiful. And I think it's positive. And there are so many ridiculous things that you and I like talking about that are so much more intriguing to me than like whoever that guy was that was engaged to Demi Lovato any anymore.

[00:22:09]

Yeah.

[00:22:09]

And see, I think those are topics that we can just pass over. I think the launching from a pop culture topic into a grander conversation or taking things within our own life, like I'm so excited for the hypnotist to come on next week. I haven't actually got an update from you because I don't really honestly want to know until he's sitting here with us. Stop huffing and puffing like that.

[00:22:29]

But, you know, I just I've been very big and this isn't a new thing, but very into, like, man is the station and I'm very into what manifestation and meditation and becoming a better me. And I'm yes.

[00:22:43]

Like, of course, I love to gossip and I love to talk. I think everyone does. But there comes a point where, like, you have to let it go, because what I want to attract into my life is healthy, positive energy.

[00:22:57]

And I feel like shitting on other people isn't boring. Like I know I'm releasing energy into the world. That isn't the energy I necessarily want coming back at me. Right.

[00:23:06]

It's like when I was having dreams about the comment section, like that's not like I've got this human brain that's got a lot of access to a lot of powerful shit. And I'm dreaming about a pretend comment section. Like what? Crazy and and who's Tracey?

[00:23:20]

Who even is she? I don't know anyone named Tracy.

[00:23:24]

And I think I've been I've really been, like, banging my head against the wall with this show. Like, I love the result of the show and I love when we're physically recording the show. But leading up to for two days, like pre producing, making sure that every moment is moving fast and that we're on top of our toes and filming for an hour and a half and cutting it down to forty minutes. So it's only the best moments.

[00:23:44]

Like I just think I'm competing in a world that, like this isn't a morning talk show. We exist on YouTube and it's a podcast. So I want to have fun and I want to talk about things that were intrigued by it and interested in.

[00:23:58]

And sometimes that does mean pop culture and sometimes that means getting you hypnotized or having a thought leader on or the person that made a documentary that we can't stop talking about because it it changes the way we perceive the world or someone who's, like, seen Bigfoot multiple times.

[00:24:13]

David Politesse, we're coming for you. Is he coming on the show?

[00:24:15]

Did we got to talk to him? We got to get him on the phone.

[00:24:19]

Even Lizzy and I thought it was interesting, reflecting on my own, like I really wanted to play out this, like, fantasy of a career that I had.

[00:24:29]

In mind for myself, and I don't think that like where you envision yourself going is always the necessarily the right and goal for yourself, you got to go with the ebbs and flows of life and then you find yourself trapped in this fucked up realm of like expectations versus reality, where you're living for this expectation that you had in your mind.

[00:24:47]

But you don't realize how beautiful and wonderful and fun the reality of it is because you're so caught up in the comparison of what you thought you should have versus the gratitude for what exists.

[00:24:57]

Right. And I think that what we have is truly fun. And like I love doing this with you, like this is the funnest.

[00:25:01]

Should I get to do all week right now because I've got expectations for my fucking teacher, right? No, I'm just kidding. But like, it really does boil down to the, like, dichotomy of comparing despair. And if you're going to be comparing yourself to this imaginary goal that ever elusive and ever changing and ever evolving, you're never going to be happy with what you have in this present moment.

[00:25:24]

Yeah. And so I think it's really enlightened to come to that conclusion and to find the joy and to blow off the parts that aren't as fun and that aren't as organic and that you're not passionate about and lean into the parts of it that you are super passionate about.

[00:25:37]

Yeah. And I want to discover new things. I want to have fun. I really have been trying to focus on, like, what parts of my day am I the happiest? And I think like Schansman off the Internet for a long time and he's the most mentally stable and happy that I've seen him throughout our relationship. Yeah, I want to get there based on like I don't want to leave the Internet, but I want to attract positivity through the Internet.

[00:26:00]

I want to release good through the Internet. I want to make people feel good about themselves or leave them with.

[00:26:05]

And we don't have like we're not a morning show. I don't have a talent booker. I don't have five cameramen I don't like. We have a group.

[00:26:11]

We have a great team, my own here. But we're not we don't have the production staff of a morning show, nor do we exist on a platform that is a morning show.

[00:26:19]

So I think, like, I just need to start having fun with this. Yeah.

[00:26:22]

And you and I like we do have we talked to each other for hours every week about not about nothing. Yeah. So I just want to get back to a place and I thought like I also while talking about Britney Spears and her whole. Her whole her whole life, the movement that was the documentary and has been ongoing for a long time. She I mean, we don't know if it's her that made the Instagram post.

[00:26:47]

A lot of people speculate that it was her team, but she did post something on Instagram following the documentary.

[00:26:52]

And what I thought was interesting, she was really far away in in her caption of her photo, she said, remember, no matter what we think we know about a person's life, it's nothing compared to the actual person living behind the lens.

[00:27:06]

Yeah, and I think it's so true because, like, we can comment on anything all day, every day, but we don't actually know what's going on with anyone, you know, because it's like the iceberg comparison that's always being made.

[00:27:17]

It's like people in the public get to just see the tip of the iceberg. But beneath that, there's this whole other fucking person that we never know about. Right.

[00:27:23]

That's and that's what I think is the most about humanity, just like openly loving and accepting. Like that's why it's so easy for me to, like, give a shit about, like, the most minute details about a person that I see, like, out in the real world.

[00:27:35]

You know what I'm saying?

[00:27:36]

Because it is it's incredibly complex and sometimes it's very simple. But yeah.

[00:27:40]

And I think with the show, too, it's like our branding, which I'm going to have to work on. But like like the photo of us in our cover, our shows like gossip, hot topics. And I think like it just started like when we were creating it and making it like it looked so good and it felt like a fresh, vibrant show and something that I would want to watch. But I think one thing leads to another.

[00:27:58]

And then I think your life does whisper to you and like I am regurgitating things I hear from Oprah. But it's true. I think I mean, when you're I feel like with the setbacks that this show has had and my life has had, like your life is telling you something and I feel like I need to, like, have that look in the mirror that, like, is brutally honest and assess where I'm at and just be like, OK, I need to listen and go in this direction and say goodbye to something that we're not saying goodbye to the podcast.

[00:28:26]

We're evolving. Yeah, we're evolving how we go about certain things. I'm so sorry that, like, I'm having a hard time taking this super seriously, but I have had four cups of coffee and I'm all I can do right now is picture you with frosted tips, hair, like you're like you're saying this beautiful, like evolutionary speech about our like futures and whatever, like enjoying and embracing the now.

[00:28:47]

But I would love to see you with some peroxided hair. Well, you know, I used to do that from like six to eighth grade.

[00:28:52]

No, I didn't know my mom and get some photos that I, I like wouldn't be caught dead without my frosted tips.

[00:29:00]

Dude, I think you should do it again because you're getting thicker and fuller. And, like, I just I'm like, literally just looking at you like I'd like a little bit of a dirty room with, like a frosted toned.

[00:29:09]

But I don't we know how this plays out if I don't like it. Like you had your green streaks for months and they're still they're still here.

[00:29:16]

I've spent so much time and money on my hair this last week.

[00:29:18]

It's like you got it done and you spent so much time there and now you threw it up like I wanted to see the the law.

[00:29:24]

I know it does. It's I didn't get a job. I know. But it's like it it's very nice haircut. Yeah I know. It's gorgeous. But yeah I threw it up because it doesn't look cute with that. Phone's right. I to figure out a headphone look with the hair.

[00:29:34]

Well OK. I got very freaked out last night because Shane and I, we decided to watch a documentary made about the simulation theory. It's called The Glitch in the Matrix. And listen, like I know like Maria said, you're very passionate about this as well.

[00:29:49]

Like multiple times you called me talking about it. And I know, like, she knows all about it. He's made videos all about it. Elon Musk is all up in like and now you're on this. But the thing is, I was always, like, living blissfully unaware.

[00:30:02]

Like, yes, I got the general scope of what people were saying. The simulation theory was. Yeah, but as I was watching this documentary and really seeing the different arguments as to why this could be our reality. Right. I like never wanted to leave the house again.

[00:30:19]

I'm fearful of everything because it is so spooky to think like there's different versions of the simulation. Not quite right. But that's why you always got to end your sentences about simulation theory with. Thank you so much for the simulation I've been giving.

[00:30:30]

This is going really well. Don't change anything.

[00:30:32]

That's where I started tripping out about because if this is a simulation and if we're just characters in someone else's game, yeah.

[00:30:39]

It's like us praying to whatever you pray to or your higher power. Right. That's just like your video game player.

[00:30:48]

And it's like. But does that actually change something for you right now? Today, no.

[00:30:51]

And where I think this is dangerous, though, is for the people that do take it as like, oh, Jesus, this is upsetting the fucking awesome gods and I'm so sick of it.

[00:31:02]

I'm so fucking I think, my God.

[00:31:05]

And this is why to me, even with all those them God and even with all of the legitimized evidence that they have to support this theory, I think, A, it's dangerous for somebody to fully live in that environment because it then means nothing matters and you can do whatever you want, like were multiple people. Like there was this one guy they highlighted that took the movie The Matrix as reality went downstairs and killed both of his parents. And then there was another that hijacked a plane who's never flown a plane in his life, flew around and was like.

[00:31:35]

Oh, I've done this in video games and moments later crashed. Yeah, and so it's like if nothing matters, then you're just a person running around the world recklessly.

[00:31:43]

Nihilism has been dangerous for centuries, though, right?

[00:31:46]

And I guess I'm just now opening my brain to like the fact that people do think and feel that way, correct? Yeah, I mean, that is definitely terrifying. And so but on the other end of that, I like to think if I'm in a simulation or if I'm not in a simulation, me hoping that everything goes the best it can go or praying to whoever I pray to doesn't change anything because I'm still existing in the plane that I'm living in right now.

[00:32:12]

But the one that really freaks me out is that nothing exists outside of where you are right now, like outside of this shed does not exist until you open the door.

[00:32:21]

That's a pretty self-centered way of thinking about it. I think that, too, because then you're living in the world. Right.

[00:32:27]

Well, then there's also the idea that, like, does animal crossing exist when you're not logged on? Yeah, because there's someone else in their home playing Animal Crossing right now while you're not on the island. So on my island.

[00:32:37]

What's the phrase on my life? What are my characters doing when I'm not there? Like everything that you're building there at them live. But then like Elon Musk, who's, like, brought this simulation theory to the forefront. Yeah.

[00:32:50]

What if we're all just non playable characters, which is essentially like the people in the video games that are just programmed to be there and do like certain things. Yeah. And Elon Musk is like the character that comes down and plays with us in the game, gives us little tidbits and then goes back up and plays.

[00:33:07]

I mean, this is just a damn wait that heavy. Is that in the documentary or is this your idea or conclusions I'm making based on own that's so fucking heavy that Elon Musk is the NPC and we're all actually playable characters and we're being influenced by this motherfucker who's opening our eyes to this shit going on around us?

[00:33:24]

Well, it's just it's all very terrifying and it's like hard to wrap my head around because, like so like their simulations within the simulation, I feel like the whole Internet is a simulation inside of our simulation.

[00:33:35]

If we're running with the fact that the simulation is real and then if you go into, like Animal Crossing, I'm the one that's like the God. The God. Yeah. And I dip down and play with the other people on my island, but they don't know that I'm me. They think I'm them.

[00:33:51]

And so it's just really mind blowing to live inside of a world where we think that is the reality.

[00:33:59]

I mean, I do think it's super interesting, but like, I've never been a person who plays video games or has even been remotely interested in video games. So when it comes down like and I always think like, oh, people who play video games, like they're some God must be bored as hell if they're in a simulation. And what they choose to do is play another simulation. Right.

[00:34:15]

Like the Russian simulation games, like, well, I just hope that I have like me on animal crossings like my islands because I only tip in every once in a while. But like Shayne's Islands Pop and I'm like, I have Shein as my sim God.

[00:34:26]

I do think there are other instances where people do just opt to stop playing and that might be like people who are unconscious. Right. Who are people who are physically unconscious.

[00:34:35]

And so there's different versions, like maybe we're living past life and like somebody playing an arcade game, putting in a quarter and we keep reliving it. And that explains deja vu and intuition and maybe technology so advanced that we're on thumb drives and people are playing us or maybe we're in reality and the world's going to implode before we get to the place of a simulation. I just think no matter what, it doesn't change my world.

[00:34:58]

The one that scares me the most is that we only exist in the environment that we're actually in. And me opening that door, I'm actually in the same place. It's just like the computer screens and graphics around me are changing.

[00:35:08]

Yeah, I mean, I used to have that feeling when I was a little girl. Remember how you could put quarters into those little machines and get those toys out? I would put the quarter and flip it and then hold it in my hand and in my hand. I would manifest exactly the toy that I wanted. And I was like, as long as I can't see it, it can be whatever I want it to be.

[00:35:23]

Yeah, it was never what I wanted it to be, but I did manifest a beaten goat cheese salad the other day and it was fucking crazy. And that's how I know this is probably a goddamn simulation.

[00:35:32]

I swear to God, it's like in my notes right now is a recipe for a beaten goat cheese. Saw that I hella wanted. And Joe and James are both like, who? Thinking ain't the beaten goat cheese?

[00:35:40]

And I was like, everyone, motherfucker. Like, it's not that weird. Like a lot of people like a beaten goat cheese salad cut to these motherfuckers, order dinner for themselves. The wrong dinner comes and it's a beet and goat cheese salad that is down to the detail of the ingredients in the recipe.

[00:35:56]

I pulled off offline and I was like, tell me I'm not as powerful as being you tell me to my face because I just got my beet and goat cheese out and you got nothing, bitch.

[00:36:06]

There is one thing that I find kind of like a missing link in the whole Elon Musk thing, because, like, I'm like you. And like if Elon Musk says that, I'm a little bit like it must be true, dude.

[00:36:18]

Girls to be hyped up on cocaine. I don't like it now. I don't know him, but he's also really afraid of artificial intelligence. Right. And so part of me is like, how could he be afraid of artificial intelligence if we're in a SIM and he believes that we're in a SIM. Right. So like for me, it's like the rationale of having a fear of something that we're quote unquote in control of or out of control of no matter what.

[00:36:42]

If it's a SIM, we have no fucking control over it. Right. Right. So why is Elon Musk so afraid of AI and how does he believe in a SIM at the same time? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean, that's a question we would have to ask him.

[00:36:54]

I find him on the show. It's a very well thought out theory. And I don't know if it's like controversial to say that I don't fully subscribe. Like I was bugged out after watching it. I was like uncomfortable and unwell. But I just find it hard to believe that Imes, because I feel and I know like we feel as though we have free will. Maybe we don't maybe like I'm an NPC in your world, like I'm existing around you or your existence is all very hard to comprehend and grasp my head around.

[00:37:24]

I'm pretty sure my friend Anna's fiance is an NPC. That's like Jaime. Insulting thing to say.

[00:37:30]

I know he was really upset when he first found out about it. I didn't know it was that insulting.

[00:37:34]

Identify it like somebody in the docu series or documentary was like, oh, I work at a grocery store and I am an NPC because like I have specific automated responses to how I go through my life in my job. And it's like if someone says this, I say this right.

[00:37:49]

Like you say, I'm Rylant Adams and and I go, Lizzie Gordon. So that doesn't make me an NPC, though.

[00:37:55]

No, I don't think no. Yeah, but it is an automated response, one that we've calculated ourselves, which makes me believe we have free will.

[00:38:03]

What what I will say is a lot of people do say DMT, which is the drug that.

[00:38:06]

Yeah. Armie Hammer was supposedly doing, is the drug where you can see the other side. Apparently, like a lot of people that trip on DMT, they say for split seconds they can see past the simulation. Yeah. And it also like brings in this whole crazy play into dreams and what all of that means. But like, I'd have to get an expert on the show for that.

[00:38:26]

Yeah, I know that stresses me out so much actually, that on tick tock when it's like DMT, tick tock, I don't watch it was the I don't know that well it's because it honestly scares the shit out of me.

[00:38:35]

And I, I honestly I'm not joking when I say like I love my simulation, like please don't fuck that.

[00:38:40]

I'm having a great time. I keep playing and play and play like this is great, you know what I mean? Like, I love everybody around me.

[00:38:46]

Before we jump to some viewer voicemail's, I just something sparked in my head yesterday. We're sitting in the hot tub on Valentine's Day having a romantic time to ourselves.

[00:38:55]

And this, like red flying beetle kept going in the water. No, it was like it was like one of those black beetles. But red, fat, fat ass Valentine with wings.

[00:39:06]

Oh, my gosh. You know, and so, like, it got in the water.

[00:39:12]

So we we propelled it out of the water and it got dry and it was like walking again. But then it walked straight over the ledge into the water again. I'm like, you're committing suicide. And she's like, no, I just don't think it knows there's a ledge. Like, it's so close to the ledge that it's I probably don't know. There's a ledge. So it keeps walking into the water. Right.

[00:39:28]

And I'm like, well, all of these bees and stuff because bees always die in our pool because they go to land on the water, but then they get stuck. It's that I try to save as many as I can. Yeah. So then I started thinking, does bugs have empathy? Like do they know they're dying?

[00:39:39]

Do they feel that they're dying? Are they sad about dying?

[00:39:43]

Well, does an empathy mean that you empathize with another creature I think you could empathize with yourself to or feelings like, oh yeah, where are they feeling? Sad that they're plunging themselves to their own deaths is something we need to Google.

[00:39:55]

Yeah, I was going to say Google that.

[00:39:57]

Let's see. Do bugs have emotions? Fee. Um, the instincts do not feel emotion, most people think that not in the way that humans do. There are some level of awareness.

[00:40:12]

So like, ah, bugs and actual simulation is the real question, because I could technically be like the the like nuts and bolts of what keep the simulation.

[00:40:24]

It says like the pixels of the simulation.

[00:40:26]

And I'm saying the geologist's, I'm assuming insect scientist say that there's some level of awareness and consciousness, but not to the extent of feeling attraction or empathy or happiness or sadness or even the ability to feel your pain.

[00:40:41]

So do they feel if they can't feel pain or are they feeling that they're drowning?

[00:40:44]

And this is like so weird.

[00:40:46]

I mean, first of all, I want to just backtrack. I think it's entomologists, OK, but I'm not sure bug scientists, bug scientists because they have the capacity for most basic consciousness.

[00:41:01]

I don't have to get an insect expert.

[00:41:03]

Oh, an entomologist. And. All right, let's take some calls.

[00:41:07]

And Tom Maloja, entomologist. OK, OK. Here, there.

[00:41:12]

Hi, this is Marcus Hamel. I'm calling from Albuquerque, New Mexico. I'm calling from the mayor's office just to say thank you for what you guys do. Thank you for your show. We put it on here in the office many times to want to pass the time by. I wanted to say thanks for being frank.

[00:41:37]

This is a prank call. We need to go. Can you look up to see if Mark Hamill is, in fact? No, Martin Hamill's the guy who played Luke Skywalker, so we're being fucked with. Keep listening.

[00:41:48]

OK, so thank you again from Albuquerque, New Mexico mayor's office. You can look us up at one Albuquerque on Instagram. Thank you. Mark Hamill is definitely the guy who played Luke Skywalker, but another man does it. Can you happen to have the same name?

[00:42:06]

Can you look it up to see if there's a Mark Hamill in the what did he say one Albuquerque spelled out one or is the number one?

[00:42:14]

It spelled one. Did you look it up? Yes. Is it legit? I mean, that's their Instagram handle and that's their Web page. Turkey.

[00:42:22]

Is it a verified Web page like a still on. Hold on. Hold on. We can probably call the mayor's office of.

[00:42:27]

Well, there's a no. Should I call it. Yeah. Where is it. Five. Oh, you want to call him back or you want to call the mayor. No, we want the mayor's office. We don't want to call him back. Do you hear me? You don't want to call him? No, we want to call the mayor's office. Hey, do you know what this is? Yes. Can we get the Albuquerque, New Mexico?

[00:42:44]

Yes, once I.

[00:42:46]

In the meantime, you're like, let me call the liar to get some truth out of it. Like, why, bitch, do bugs have empathy? OK, well, she's looking that up. Let's listen to our second call.

[00:42:55]

Hey, this is Caitlin from Kentucky. I just wanted to let you guys know that I am a ginormous fan, that I am a single mom. And I named my son Rylant after, of course, your island. And I just wanted to let you know that it is 12 00, 3:00 in the morning. And Rylant is staring at me and I have been out for about four days straight.

[00:43:17]

Go to bed, baby. I hope you all have a blessed day.

[00:43:21]

That poor baby is probably I'm wondering if bugs are fucking feeling Caitlin from Kentucky. And what have you manifested? I will say Riley's a good name. It's a great, great name. I'm glad your son is carrying it on because there's not many islands in the world.

[00:43:37]

I've met one other island person ever day. Caitlin Girl, thank you so much for supporting and listening to our show.

[00:43:45]

Tell that baby everything's going to be OK. Get him some frosted tips and some submerge. All right. Should we.

[00:43:51]

Oh, we make babies things. We're calling what is this, the mayor's office of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Correct. And we're asking for more positive on that last voice mail that the guy said.

[00:44:00]

His name is Mark, the city of Albuquerque office of the mayor. It's almost the same cadence. Our office is open Monday through Friday holiday from eight o'clock. Son of a bitch. It's President's Day.

[00:44:12]

We'll call you back next door. I don't call my call Mark. You want to call my mother fucker on the phone? We know first replayed the voicemail so we can make sure that he actually said his name was Mark came on.

[00:44:22]

It transcribed.

[00:44:24]

So I'm looking that it is indeed that you guys are dumb is how I connect with Mark Hamill. No, don't connect with him. Wait, who's calling me? Oh, hang up, hang up, you just there's a glitch in the Senate. No, no, I'm scared as hell when we hang it up. Is this what we're doing? Right. I'm so scared. Why did your phone ring? I don't think we're we're calling a 747, no, that's what was wrong for.

[00:44:59]

Now, he didn't answer anyway.

[00:45:01]

All right. Well, I think that's where we'll leave it. Just leave it there. I'm sorry. I can send you his number. Mark's number, as is the number you dialed. I think you may have accidentally called our voice. Our voice. Oh, my God.

[00:45:14]

I called to. OK, now we're done with the phone ring. OK. OK, I can try it now. Jesus Christ. That's why I went straight to voicemail. God, I really thought that was a glitch in our system that we were seeing, and I was like, this is what happens when you piss off the same God, I've been so fucking adamant about saying my shit is going well.

[00:45:34]

Let's see if this man has a legitimate realizing. I've literally and figuratively to the voice.

[00:45:40]

It's automatic zero. No, I can't I can't talk says no. I don't want everyone calling him. All right.

[00:45:45]

We're going to follow up with Mark Marky Mark, if you want to do if you want to purchase some of our merch, that would mean the world to us. I'm so proud of it. It comes in two different colors, the hoodie and our zip mugs. If you want to purchase Rayland Adams Dotcom, we thank you so much for joining us on this journey, sticking with us through our transition into who we're really supposed to become.

[00:46:08]

Lizzie, I'm honestly like, I can't let this go right now. I want to fucking I feel like when you go to, like the mayor's office website, there's going to be like headshots of everybody that works there. And there's going to be like and I feel like we can resolve this right now on this. I feel like they need to come back next week to leverage us.

[00:46:23]

We thank you so very much for supporting our show.

[00:46:26]

I love you very much. Good bye.

[00:46:29]

And that said, anything else to plug now?

[00:46:34]

All right. Bye.