Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, You Dirty Little Sluts. Happy Monday. Hope everybody had an amazing weekend. And speaking of amazing- Speaking of Dirty Little Sluts. Oh, duh. Speaking of- The slutiest. Speaking of Nasty Little Sluts. It's my favorite human being on planet Earth. Me. No, I'm kidding. It's Jax. Hey, Jax. How you durn?

Durn good. T-y-y-s-m.

Y-y-y-y-y-y.

Y-y-y.

T-y-s-m-f-a. T-y-s-f-m.

My brain is jumbled.

Thank you so fucking much.

Oh, classic T-Y-S-F Hope everybody had an amazing weekend.

H-e-h-a-w. Hope everyone had... No. H-e-h-a-w. Double A. Yeah, Double A. Id, T-Y-S-F-M. I did. Thank you so much.

I'm so glad. I had an amazing weekend, too.

No, no. Literally amazing.

That's so funny. How's Romeo?

Amazing.

We really- I haven't caught up with you all weekend. This is our catch-up. You guys are just going to have to be privy to it. How are you doing? How's Romeo? Tell me everything.

He's doing really well. In terms of training and stuff, we've still got a long way to go. He's so young. I'm so hard on him. I really am. I really need to relax. He's literally He was born three months ago. Give me a break. He has not had an accident-free day, which I'm gunning for desperately. We'll get there. They're getting fewer. Today, not off to a great start. We already had one.

That's okay. You know what? In solidarity, Bruno had one, too, yesterday.

Oh, okay. That does make me feel better.

Completely my fault. But the thing about Bruno is if we don't take him out in an appropriate time, he will just pee on the floor. But then when I I'm like, Oh, all the signs were there. You've been at my leg. I thought he just wanted food. There was so much going on in my house yesterday. There was five kids here, and Bruno's schedule fell by the wayside. It did. I know. I'm sorry, Bruno.

It's frustrating when this morning, we took him out. He peed and pooped. He comes back in 20 minutes later, he pooped in the kitchen.

You have to think his bladder's so tiny.

I know. I'm still really learning his schedule. Now that I take a look back at the schedule, that was my fault. I know he takes two poops in the morning. What was I doing? Over the weekend, our whole lives revolved around Ro. I got to work. I have a job. I have a family. Ro fell by the wayside. On a Monday morning.

Yeah.

We're getting there. We are definitely getting there. I definitely feel like Ro and I truly connected on an emotional level this weekend. He loves me. By the way, he totally likes me more than he likes Ben so far.

Oh, my God. It was time for that. Theo love him to bits. I will never speak ill. Never. But he was a daddy's boy. He loved Ben.

He didn't even try to hide it. He loved Ben so much more than he loved me. With this dog, and I I was actually having this conversation with Ben. It feels really good to be really doing equal parts responsibility. Like with Theo, I definitely was just like, bye. Ben did everything. I might even be doing a little bit more. I'm really the one who can soothe Romeo. Ben's like, Oh, he won't sit down. I'm like, Give him to me. Fast as late.

He needs a mother's love.

Yeah, so we're really connecting. We really are. It was a great weekend for me, for Ro, for Ben, for everyone. I love that. How was your weekend?

My weekend was great. Lots of fun. Actually went out a little bit Friday night, had dinner with some friends. I did some night driving because Olivia and I went, and I drove because happy to not drink and be designated driver. This was always meant to be my role to be designated driver because I'm usually sober, but I didn't drive. So I finally can fulfill my destiny.

You're lifelong, yeah.

But night driving is a little crazy. You can't see shit.

Do you need glasses?

No, I could see in front of me, but I can't Can't you see in my rear view. When they're behind me, it's just a bunch of lights. No.

It's actually, I feel, super easy to see in your rear view mirror at night because the car's lights would be up your ass.

Yeah, but it's like, I can't see the... I don't know the distance of the lights. Maybe that's just I need time to- Experience. Or maybe the lights were just really far back. That's why it felt like I couldn't see, and there wasn't anyone around me. I don't know.

It sounds like you, a night driver, is just as capable as a drunk driver. Stop, stop.

No. Plus Olivia was with me, so it was a great opportunity to do some driving. We went to the farm this weekend, pick some strawberries.

Oh, my God. Two major things happened this weekend, Jackie.

Did you pick strawberries as well?

Oh, my God. Did you see that?

There's balloons on our FaceTime.

Because I did the P signs.

I think they think you turned two.

What if I just turned three?

Who does three like that? You know what that reminds me of, that three that you did? Is that Inglourious Bastards, where they are able to see that the spy is a spy because he did three like he's from a different territory?

I got to rewatch that movie. Speaking of Christoff Walsh, he was at the Oscars last night. He's so creepy. We're going to do a full Oscars recap. But what I wanted to say was two major things that happened this weekend. First, we sprung forward.

Okay.

Yes, we did. I hear that people with children, specifically children on schedules, a child like Charlie, have been really thrown Come through a loop.

Not so much. Yesterday, I just kept thinking, Okay, so it's really this time. Yesterday, we just had to get through. But now today, I feel like we all woke up on the same page. Actually, there was even a little sleeping in in my house today.

Romeo slept in.

But it's like, we're technically... You would think the sleeping in happens on the other time when we go backwards, we get an extra hour. But weirdly, the sleeping in happened this morning, and I'm not complaining.

We sprung forward, which is On the day, so annoying, to lose an hour, excuse me. But now moving forward, the sun will set, like seven. Hallelujah.

Yeah. I know there's a lot of debate and controversy around daylight savings. Should it stay? Should it go? It causes heart attacks, et cetera. I have a proposal in the middle.

Here, let's hear it.

I think daylight savings should not be on a Sunday because I want to lose an hour of the weekday, not of the weekend.

I love, love, love that thinking. That's the thinking this country needs, true creativity.

And compromise.

Yes.

So that's my proposal.

So that was the big thing that happened this weekend. And then the other big thing that happened this weekend was that Ben and I watched Oppenheimer. Wow. Jackie, it It was... Se Magnifique. So amazing.

Well, you watched it just in time because it won all the awards.

I know. I didn't even really put it together that I finally watched it right before the Oscars. But then when I realized the Oscars were on and I had seen the movie the Year, I felt so invested in the ceremony.

Then you saw the ceremony and you felt- No.

Then I saw all those muronic people wearing the red pins, and I said, Oh, T-Y-S-F-M, this is not for me.

We've been having such a good awards season. Every time I watch the awards, I'm pleasantly surprised. And enjoying it. Maybe that's why the Oscars were always said to fail, because now I had a little bit of expectation, and I turned it on and it was so sickening. Yeah. Really made me sick. So I turned it off and watched Summer House, which was not sickening because this weekend I also caught up on Bannerpump Rules, which had me gripped.

You were gripped?

Yeah, I was gripped. I wasn't on my phone. I was really feeling a lot of the emotions that the cast members were feeling. I was really into it, and I'm looking forward to the next episode.

Oh, my goodness. A rave review from Jackie O'Freebush.

Yeah. I don't know what it was. There was a lot of emotions swirling around, especially from Sheena. Yes, that's what I've heard. I'm feeling for her.

Oh, nobody else is. Oh, really? Yeah. I keep up with... So funny. I watch Van der Pumper Rules, but not week to week, every week. So when I miss an episode, I'm always just seeing stuff on Twitter, and everybody's just like, I think the running joke is Sheena. Actually, Sheena Shay has very turdy Lou-like tendencies. How can she make everything about her? I think that was a general sentiment. It was like, she's so emotional, and it's just really not about her.

Okay. She shared one interesting fact that- You could share. I'm a bit of a twoilet. That allowed me to maybe see her side because she keeps saying she lost a best friend in Tom Sandoval, and that's just so hard to relate to. How can Tom Sandoval be your best friend? How can his loss really be that felt? But she shared, and this was just a throw away comment that she shared, which was that when COVID happened and they weren't working and her podcast was canceled and she was pregnant, she had no money coming in. She was really, really stressed out. And she woke up one day to a PayPal of thousands of dollars from Tom Sandoval. That is a friend who was there for you.

By the way, 100 %.

And he never mentioned it. And now I think about paying for James's proposal, and that just was so extra because he kept talking about it. It was so unnecessary. But to silently help out a struggling friend like that, that's a real friend.

I agree.

And it makes it harder to turn your back on them when then you hear, of course they did wrong, but you hear they're having suicidal thoughts, and it's like, you were at your lowest ones, too, and they were there for you. It makes it hard.

By the way, I completely agree.

So I was starting to see where she was coming from, and I didn't feel like Sheena was making it about her. I feel like for the last five, six months, it's been all about Ariana, and now she's processing her own feelings, and no one other than Lala is giving her the space to do that.

Got it. Okay. I'm going to catch up. I'm sorry. So maybe we'll do our TV recap this week.

Can't wait.

And we just got a great show. Tell me about the stories.

So the stories are, unfortunately, Oscars-heavy because there was other news to come out of the Oscars.

I will say I was really made nauseous by so much of the Oscars. The Oscars in particular, I think, are so... Of all the award shows, they take themselves the most seriously. It's like all these artists. They're usually the most out of touch, the most insufferable, honestly, because they're really the highest level, the most elite, and really just obnoxious. Everybody gets on the podium to preach about something, and it's like, Please, shut the fuck up. You're talking to real people. You don't know real struggle. It's really, I think, the hardest to swallow sometimes. Having said that, I did I think there were some interesting moments that came out of it. I think a lot of people were so fabulously dressed. Everybody looked great. I thought I really, really enjoyed I Am Kim, Anywhere Outside, B a Ten.

I enjoyed I am Kim, too, and I still, I love that song. Yeah, no.

So there were positive moments.

There were. It's just hard because the way I felt today is like, I don't want to talk about the Oscars, aside from saying what we will have to say about explaining to people why it was so atrocious for the Jewish people, which we will get to that, which is also a daunting task, but it's our job to do it. So it's like, I don't want to talk about other stuff about the Oscars when it was just so rotten. I know.

I don't want to praise it.

However, there really wasn't much else that happened this weekend. And so for the good of our show- Why should we suffer? Why should we have no show? Why should we have no show? Because they're stunk.

Right. No, bring everyone down to your level.

Right. That's where I'm at today.

Show, stories. I got a manicure. It was really an amazing weekend. I can't lie. I don't know why. It had a combination of everything. Even though I low-key was sick on Saturday, I got a little sniffle.

Probably it was an amazing weekend because you haven't been home in months.

Yes. I went to a workout class, which is not something I normally... I really don't like to work out in front of people. It's humiliating. It really is. But I wanted to support my trainer and friend, Hillary, who you introduced me to. I do her virtual classes, and she had a pop-up for the three months in New York, and it's down in Tribeca, which is so far. I was like, You know what? I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I haven't been there. I went, I brought Ben and I brought Abe, who are two men who work out. I know they just walked in and we're like, Oh, turn these little workout classes. Let's see these little arm movements. These people were dead. Oh, my God. Ben this morning, he's like, my hip flexors. He can't move. They were lying on the floor. I'm not really in good shape, but because this is a class I've done, and it was much harder than the ones I choose to do in privacy of my own home on my phone, I killed it compared to these two. They were just like, I don't know, I think they were in awe of Turdi Lo.

I think they were. They were just like, Oh, Turdi's little class was a little hard.

I feel like that's not to minimize, but I feel like I've seen that a bit where big strong men do women's workouts, and they can't hang.

And by the way, the class was completely full. They were the only two men. It's like, it really is a class that women are drawn to, even though it's challenging for everyone.

Yeah, no, but just bar, Pilates, all of these women's workouts are much harder than, I men give them credit for. And then they realize, Oh, we can't do these things.

Yeah, Ben's benching 240. He's so proud of it. Ben would seriously have to go to the hospital if he ever did bar.

Yeah.

Not for men. No. So it was just a well-rounded weekend. I got some cardio in.

A well-rounded weekend, I would say so as well. I love that. And guess what? Something I'm excited about today.

Let me think.

You're not going to know. Because I didn't share yet. I got a A new pair of sneakers. Oh, wow. Isn't that cool?

I thought you were going to say, I'm pregnant.

No, I got a new pair of sneakers. She got new sneakers. She got new sneakers. The brand is Amiri. And they're just so cool. Zack said, I looked so trendy today. He had heard of Amiri because he's in the sneaker world. Then when he saw the box arrive, he's like, You got Amiris? I'm like, Yeah.

I love- Yeah, I did. I love putting people on their backs, putting their backs up against the wall with something they're really into. It's like, Yeah, I'm I'm familiar, too.

Yeah, I got a Mary's. You're sickening.

Yeah, I have a phone. I can read.

That's how he felt about also those New Balance sneakers that I got through you. And then he got a pair, too. When it's like, he literally has 100 pairs of sneakers. I have now two. And he had to get the one.

No, you can't have anything as a mom, as a wife. You can't have anything for yourself.

Yeah, but now we have the family version. It is cute, but it was supposed to be my special thing.

I'm really shocked that you haven't commented on my slutty look today.

It looks as though you're wearing a skirt. I I can't really see, but you do look very professional. So what do you have going on today? No, I don't look professional.

I look slutty. I'm wearing some sheer tights.

Do you insist?

Leather shorts and knee high boots. It's giving slut.

And to what do we owe this sluttiness?

I just have a speaking gig after this, and I couldn't show up in my usual crap.

For the sluts?

Yeah, the slut convention.

No, I'm not- She's speaking at a brothel.

Stop. I'll tell you where I'm speaking after. It's professional.

I wouldn't expect anything less from you. Yeah.

So I'm just looking like a professional.

A young professional.

Who sluts on the weekends.

And a Monday.

Monday is a weekend for every slut. Sluts are us. Classic us. I love the word slut. I know what Amber Rose was talking about when she went to take the power back. Like, yes, I'm a slut.

Yeah, I'm what are you talking about that Taylor song.

I married my first boyfriend, and I had with one person, I'm a big slut.

You are.

What do I think about the Taylor Swift song, Slut? It's actually one of my least favorites. And if they call me a slut, I might as well be with the four arms. And if I'm all dressed up, that's literally me. Yet it might be looking at us. Everyone's going to be looking at me today and be like, Oh, man, who's that whore?

By the way, turdy is covered from the tip of her neck to the tip of her toes. Not an ounce of skin showing.

Well, if you count my sheer tights, you could see a little bit of skin. A little bit. I'm wearing leather. It's giving slut. Okay, if you insist. It's giving slut.

Turdy, we will think of you as a slut if that's really what you want.

Jackie, call me a slut.

Okay.

Do it. Slut. No, say, You, Claudia, are a dirty slut.

No, Claudia, I don't talk like that.

Okay, she's a mother. What would your son say? They started calling people sluts.

Yeah, No, no, no. I'm not cool. I think now it's time, without further ado, to get into the fast five stories that you need to know. I have something to say before turdy has something to say, which is that today's episode is brought to you by Tini Lux. I was speaking recently on the pod about not wearing earrings because I hate how aware I am that they are on. The founder of Tini Lux is also a toaster, so she reached out saying, Can I send you some earrings? I promise these will be the most comfortable earrings you've ever tried. You won't even notice them. For the first time ever, I honestly forgot I was wearing earrings. I don't even feel them. Their founder started this brand because she also had super sensitive ears and nothing was working for her. They make all of their earrings with pure titanium. They use titanium because it's non-allergenic metal that's safe for the body and super lightweight. If you've had problems wearing earrings like me, you need to try Teenilux. They have the cuteest style for everyday wear. Also, if you have kids getting their ears parsed as well, you want to make sure that they get safe earrings, too.

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It is. Also, I have ears. You could run over with a truck and they wouldn't feel anything. I'm not sensitive at all. So one might think, there's nothing for me at Teenilux. The earrings are just also cute. That counts for nice earrings.

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Also, a great part of Tiny Lux is that you can shower in the earrings. What is more annoying and inconvenient than having to get completely naked and then also take off your earrings to get in the shower? They will not tarnish or change color. Tiny Lux can really be a go-to earring destination for the squirrelies in your life. Yes. Today's episode is also brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. This year, the healthiest habit to start is one for your dog. So much better doing Farmer's Dog ad reads now that I'm a dog mom again. The Farmer's Dog makes feeding real healthy dog food easy and convenient, and your dog will absolutely love it. It's smart, healthy pet food that you can feel good about feeding your pup, and that's why it's time to quit the kibble, kick the cans, and start fresh. Something I'm really looking forward to is Weaning Row off of his food that was given to him by the breeder. You can't just switch automatically, especially with such a young belly. But Tro will be a Farmer's Dog dog. If you don't know what the Farmer's Dog is, they're making and delivering fresh, healthy dog food right to your door.

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Com/toast to get 50% off. That's thefarmersdog. Com/toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Athena Club. Goodbye, cheap razor era. Athena Club and the Razor Kit from Athena Club is an absolute steal at just $10. Don't let the price fool you. This razor packs a serious punch. It comes with a beautifully made ergonomic handle and two super sharp razor heads that deliver an incredibly smooth shave every time. I literally have to hide my Athena Club razor in my bathtub so Ben doesn't use it. And just personal, I'm going to get a little personal. You guys know I've been on a hair regrowth journey, so I was taking Minoxidil to get my hair to regrow because it started shedding. That Minoxidil made my leg hair and my arm and hair grow at such a disgusting pace. I was literally shaving my legs twice a day. By the time, I had a five o'clock shadow. It was really insane. I needed a razor that could handle what my legs handling. Let me tell you, Athena Club was there for me during dark times, and I will never forget them because having to keep up with legs like that is a full-time job, and you need the proper equipment, and you don't want to spend an insane amount of money.

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Thank you, Claudia.

An absolute honor and a pleasure.

First story is going to be like, Oscars, winners, recap. Before we get into the Oscars, we need to talk about artists for ceasefire pins, and then Jonathan Glazer's speech.

I'm going to name him. Name him, Billy Eilish, Phineas, Rami Youssef, my actual nemesis, the person on this Earth who I hate the most, Mark fucking Ruffalo. And then like- Mahershela Ali. Mahershela Ali, Ava DuVernay, wearing the red pin. What is the red pin, you ask? It's layered, actually. But the red pin was, if you're an artist for ceasefire analytics, artists for ceasefire, you wore the red pin. You would say, turdy, what's wrong with an artist who wants a ceasefire? Don't we all want the ceasing of fire? I would say, of course we do. But I'm Turdy Lou, and I live in reality. In reality, ceasefire is literally not an option. Hamas, this isn't a secret. They said like a thousand times, like, really, we don't want a ceasefire. We want to kill Jews. Ceasefires don't let us do that. Actually, as recently as two weeks ago, there was a ceasefire proposal that was rejected again by Hamas. Happens all the time. They don't respect ceasefires. If they ever do agree to a ceasefire, which they actually did. There was a ceasefire on October seventh, but then they broke it and came and killed thousands of Jews and raped Israeli women and took them hostage.

Now, you're going to say, Wait, I was on a good chair. What was I saying?

That ceasefire is not an option. They do not want a ceasefire. Even for the week and a half where there was a ceasefire because there was a hostage in exchange, in exchange for violent terrorists, they still broke that ceasefire every single day. So if you want a ceasefire, you need to go talk to Hamas. But you are doing Hamas's bidding by putting the pressure on Israel for a ceasefire. Two people are asking for a ceasefire. Either people who genuinely want dead Jews and are masquerading that evil anti-Semitism as artists for ceasefire. I don't believe that all of those artists for ceasefire want that. The other people who want a ceasefire are dumb, dumb, stupid people who think saying ceasefire makes them feel good. I want peace. Who doesn't want peace? Stop the killing.

No, I feel like saying ceasefire is representative of the fact that you know nothing. Because if you knew even the smallest amount of this conflict, you would know, of course, who wants to go to war? Nobody. But But this is real life, and this is how it's unfolding, and it's literally not an option.

And a ceasefire is not an option. And if Israel ceases firing, there will be no more Israel. So you are inadvertently calling for the extermination of the Jewish people, especially the Jews in Israel. Here's the thing, you're allowed to be dumb and you're allowed to not know. Yes. Don't say anything. Don't wear a pin. Don't wear a pin. Don't go on the biggest stage with your dumb fucking message. You look like a moron.

You do. And if you look at the history of the red pin, if you look up close to the red pin, why it's red? It's a red hand. And you would say, Oh, that's beautiful artwork. Well, you wouldn't if you knew actually what the red hand comes from. There's this famous, famous photo during the second intifada of a Palestinian person waving their hands in the air. There's blood all over their hands, and it was captured by the media. It became this huge photo. And the context behind that photo is that person had... So there were two Israelis who wandered into Ramallah and then were detained by Palestinian police. Two civilians from Ramallah went in and killed that Israeli person with literally their bare hands and showed their red hands. People were cheering like, Look, we killed a Jew. The media captured that photo. That red hand on that dumb fucking pin, Phineas, my nemesis, is that man's red hand who just was literally celebrating killing a Jew. It's literally... What's the word?

So either you do know that- It's virtue signaling for killing Jews. Right. And either you know that, so you're like an evil bastard or you don't know that, and you're a dumb bitch, and you should don't wade into conversations that you know nothing about. For me, like Mark Ruffalo, that's classic Mark Ruffalo.

I want to talk about Mark Ruffalo really quickly. No, two seconds. Okay. Because it needs to be said, Mark Ruffalo gets away with the fact that people think he's Jewish because he's a curly-headed fuck. I just need everyone to know Mark Ruffalo is not Jewish.

Even though he was just in that Holocaust movie, all the light we cannot see, take it, throw it down the toilet. Whoever made that movie, whoever's book that is that allows Mark Ruffalo to star in your Holocaust movie, why don't you flush that shit down the toilet?

Mark Ruffalo is not Jewish. I feel like everybody thinks he is. I thought he was. So he gets away with being a dick and an anti-Semitic fuck because people think he can speak freely because he's a Jew. He's not.

But the thing is, We have enough self-hating capo Jews in our mist, Jonathan Glazer, that Mark Ruffalo can take several seats. No, I just... Before we get to Jonathan Glazer. Yeah, continue. And the the ripping apart of his asshole. Billy Eilish. What a dumb bitch.

I was having this conversation because I feel like she's one of the people who really knows nothing. I don't think she put that pin on with any malintent. I think she's an idiot, like an actual... I mean, not to be so rude. She didn't go to college.

She hasn't lived in the real world. If she went to college, she'd certainly be wearing the kit pin. She's not an educated person. She's incredibly talented musician. She's an artist. She's got a lot of feelings. She has something to say. But this is not an educated person who knows a modicum about history, but who maybe rolled out of bed one morning and said, I want peace. And they said, artists for ceasefire.

She's the type of person where it's so irresponsible. And it's honestly, I don't think she's ill-intended, but the way she was so irresponsible. At this point, it's ill-intention. That carry ill intention. Exactly.

It's ill intention to be so vocal about something that you do not know about. And if you actually knew about it and you're still choosing to be this vocal about this position, then you- Are evil. Are evil. Yeah. No matter how you flip the coin, you're no good. Jonathan Glazer.

And by the way, whilst wearing a Chanel suit, a Jewish-owned company, vomiting, vomiting.

And the Jews in the industry who dress these people and support these people and prop them up and make them money and give them these platforms. She's singing for Greta Gerwig's movie.

So is Greta Jewish? Yeah. She is? Yeah. I feel like she's not.

And she's married to Noah, Jew?

I think Noah's Jewish. Greta Gerwig, Jewish? No, she's not.

She's not? No. Why is she always in this conversation then?

But she said that the Barbie movie was inspired by Shabbat. That's It's an article, I swear. Wait, did it say she's not Jewish? Greta Gerwig wants Barbie to feel like she bought. Greta isn't Jewish, but growing up, her close friends and family were observing Jews.

Why is Greta Gerwig always in this conversation then?

Because for many, I know why, but I- No, and Not because of the BDS letter that she signed and then apologized for. Noah Baumback, is he Jewish?

Baumback?

B-a-u-m-b-a-c-h. He's totally Jewish.

Totally Jewish. Well, as just the wife of a Jew, you have his responsibility, too. But I did think she was Jewish.

Baumback, whose father is Jewish? Technically not. Technically not.

Half.

Half.

So he He ran. He ran away.

He ran away from that side.

Okay.

Jonathan. Okay, so Jonathan Glazer, who is an irrelevant ugly I had, I lived a very glorious life not ever hearing of until last night. He was a director of a film called The...

Zone of Interest.

Which is a Holocaust movie, actually.

That focuses- It's a Holocaust movie. It's about the family that lived right outside of Auschwitz because the husband was a Nazi officer.

Right. And leave it to this self-hating Jew to make a movie about the Holocaust, surrounding around a non-Jewish family. I can't.

And then he gave his acceptance speech and said, All of our choices to make the movie were made to reflect and confront us in the present, not to say, Look what they did then, rather what we do now. Our film shows where dehumanization leads at its worst, it shaped all of our past and present. Nobody really knew what the fuck he was talking about until he said, quote, and he had written this down, so he didn't mince words. He said, Right now, we stand here as men who refute their Jewishness and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation which has led conflict for so many innocent people. Whether the victims of October seventh in Israel or the ongoing attack on Gaza, all the victims of this dehumanization, how do we resist?

No, refute your Jewishness. If I see Jonathan Glazer in the fucking streets, he I had to run because it's on. I'm throwing hands.

First of all, bye. Please leave. We don't want you. We don't want you if this is how you use your position. You literally made a movie about the Holocaust, and it's so easy to, 90 years on, say, This was right, this was wrong about the Holocaust. But I think what people don't understand is in that moment, I feel like even when we read books, our stupid historical fiction, it feels like everybody's like, Tis the Nazis, and there's only one bad Nazi. No, everybody, most people, I'm sorry, because there were a few righteous, but that's why we have literally statues and museums erected for the handful of righteous people. Because most people were not, and most people went along with it, and it was so much easier. That was the flavor of the day, just like how right now, it's so easy to say these things, and it's like, Cease fire, stop the killing. But it's the wrong side. And so you're in this moment, and you just made this project, and you still can't see. I can't help you. And you're a Jew, and you can't see the importance of the state of Israel, that Israel is defending themselves, It's not just, but October seventh.

October seventh is the reason for everything.

To have given that speech when Mia Schlem, who was a hostage- Schem. Excuse me, Schem. I'm so sorry. When Mia Hanei Hashem, who was a hostage in Gaza. She was one of the women who was released during a hostage exchange. She's been just traveling around, doing press speaking about her experience, hopefully to change people's hearts and minds. She was at the Oscars last night. Imagine sitting there listening to that speech after you sat in a fucking tunnel with disgusting terrorists holding you hostage for months. Imagine.

Talk about dehumanization. Let's talk about it.

Talk about dehumanization. John Jonathan Glazer. I want to say, This is a threat. If I ever see you, bitch, it's fucking on.

He just gives so many Jew haters so much ammo. Look what Jonathan Glazer said. There was a word for Jews like this in the Holocaust because there were them, Jews who aided and abetted Nazis who sold out fellow Jews. They are called Kapos. Jonathan Glazer is a Kapo, and he can fuck right off.

Vomiting from you. Your ancestors are rolling in their graves. We don't claim you, please. We don't claim you.

Refute your Jewishness. Refute your Jewishness all day long. Get the fuck out of here. Refute your Jewishness.

I refute your existence, you cocksucking ass wipe.

Let's talk about Mia Shem because she's the influencer we need in our society. Mia Shem- I just followed her last night.

She's so gorgeous.

You hadn't been following. She's so gorgeous. No, I hadn't. She's so brave. She told her whole story to Israeli media. If you can watch the whole interview, it's like an hour, literally, about exactly what happened to her, where she was. She was being held hostage by a family in their home being starved by then.

Civilian. Civilian family.

Civilian family, innocent civilian family, holding a young girl hostage, starving her while her arm is falling off because she was shot during the Nova Music Festival.

Don't worry, Jackie. They brought in the local veterinarian to stitch up her arm.

To stitch up her arm without any- She's still in a cast. She's still in a cast, and she went to Elton John's Oscars party last night. And by the way- She went to the State of the Union. She was a guest of House Speaker Mike Johnson, and she is doing advocacy work because a lot of the hostages that she was with in the tunnels are still there.

She was also, if you guys remember, when they released a hostage video, she was one of the videos where she was like, Look, my arm is fixed. They're taking really good care of me. And fucking morons in America were like, They're taking good care of the hostages. Have you heard what she had to say? First of all, she was already being held at gunpoint during that video. Everything she said was a lie. People who believe Hamas propaganda, Palestinian propaganda, I worry for you. I don't know how you cross the street without getting hit by a car because you're obviously dumb.

No, but it's also a choice. You can't just be that dumb. It's a to be so dumb. You feel more inclined to believe what a terrorist organization is saying and their facts and figures than they're putting out than a democratic country.

With a government, with literally a public health Ministry, With literally infrastructure.

That is also being held to the highest possible standard that no other country is held to. But no, you know what? Hamas said this. I'm feeling it.

Yeah, they released a video. I believe it.

Yeah.

You're all dumb and ugly, and that could truly never be me. If anything, the Oscars made me actually feel good about the fact that I'm a person of deep intellect. I am gorgeous, and I am a Jew, and you're so jealous of me, it's disgusting.

The good news is that I think most people who are listening to our show get that by now.

No, the thing is by now, don't even leave a comment. You're not going to change my mind. You're just going to make yourself look stupid, so go away.

But one, I couldn't talk about the Oscars without explaining these things. And two, I think there are still people, and I think I see comments sometimes, it's like, But what's wrong with Ceasefire? Of course.

Ceasefire is so nice. It's a fair question if you don't know enough. It's so fair.

It's a fair first question, but now that you know, Ceasefire is not an option. If you want a ceasefire, go talk to Hamas. Here's the thing. Go talk to Sinuar.

When I posted something yesterday about Ceasefire, Artist for ceasefire, I roll. Somebody asked in a very nice and respectful way, Obviously, what's wrong with a Ceasefire? It's not We're not people who love war.

It sounds nice. If you just have opened your eyes to the conflict, a ceasefire sounds, and you're done calling for ceasefires in the Ukraine and elsewhere where there's been conflict for years, and you've been doing all your ceasefire advocacy there, and now it's time to ask for a ceasefire in Israel after what, five months of fighting? There is an appropriate answer on Claudia's Instagram. Yeah. Did you want to read it?

I did want to read it because I worked really hard on it, and I think it was well thought out.

It's going to expire, too.

Don't worry, I saved it. The question was, what's with the frustration around ceasefire? Is it because it's a pointless statement? It just seems like something we would all want. I'm hoping to learn/gain some perspective. Yeah. Thank you for asking a question in a respectful way. I said, We all want peace. In an ideal world, there's an immediate ceasefire, but that will never be the reality because Hamas has vowed publicly to never stop the violence until they wipe Israel off the map. Most people don't realize there actually was a ceasefire in place on October seventh. But then Hamas terrorists invaded Israel, murdered, raped, and brutalized thousands. Ceasefires means something to civilize people, but they mean nothing to barbaric terrorists. Ceasefires actually give terrorist organizations like Hamas an opportunity to rearm themselves and strategize on how to attack again. Anytime Hamas has actually agreed to a ceasefire, it's never been as a gesture of good faith. It's been they ran out of ammo. They need to restrategize. They need a new thing. They need to run away. They've been found. They use it strategically, not ever for ceasefire purposes.

Not for peaceful purposes.

The artists and celebrities advocating for a ceasefire, which Hamas has stated will never happen, have never spoken out about the October seventh Massacre in Israel, nor have they advocated for release of the hostages who are still being held in Gaza. And if a ceasefire were to ever hypothetically occur, what then happens to the hostages? The ceasefire movement completely disregards their circumstances, which are abhorrent.

Right. So October seventh What else happened? Hundreds of Israelis were kidnapped to Gaza. The Israeli military went into Gaza to get them back. We are there to get them back. If there is a ceasefire, what happens to the hostages? Over 100 hostages that are still there. Like, It's very simple.

There's literally an enormous, enormous terrorist group, miles from the city center. Think about in America, what would you want them to do? And then that terrorist group literally launched an insane There's this insane terrorist attack in your country. The equivalent, I think people were saying, it's like bordering Texas and Mexico. That's how it is. And so there's this American-hating terrorist organization in Mexico. They come in, and the equivalent, population-wise, I think they come in and they kill 25,000 people in Texas. What do we do? We ceasefire? And then they kidnap-Oh, and there's still a thousand people back in Mexico being kidnapped, being held hostage, starved, raped.

So what do we do? So we have to send the military in to try and get those kidnapped people out and to bring to justice the people who committed the terrorist attack. And then there are people calling for ceasefire, ceasefire.

What if it was your mom who was in there? Ceasefire? But what about your mom? Right. So the Oscars were on last night.

So the Oscars were on last night. The really large room of fucking morons.

I didn't see what... And you know what? I'm sorry. I don't want to call out people who are Jewish and who have been historically good. But where was one person wearing a yellow pin with just the yellow ribbon, which means bring the hostages home. Steven Spielberg. What are you doing?

What is Steven Spielberg doing ever?

No, but he's the most powerful person in that room. No, for sure. He can't be... I understand on a small level, people who are new to the industry, who are to make waves and go against the green, everybody's wearing a red pin. To show up in a yellow one is an extremely brave thing to do. What the fuck would Steven Spielberg care?

Yeah. He's like a pro-Israel Jew. He's like a pro-Israel Jew. Wearing the red pin. Really, if you are trying to be a good faith actor, and you feel compelled to wear the red pin and call for a ceasefire, also wear a yellow ribbon. That would have been understandable. I want a ceasefire, and I want the release of the hostages. Because that's really what we all want.

Same. Yeah, wear both. But no, don't wear the the red one. Like, literally, the imagery is a virtue signaling for the murdering of Jews.

Feel free to wear a ceasefire pin, not the red one, because it's like red, bloody, dead Jew hands. A different one, maybe the graphics designer could get on Canva, make something else. And the yellow ribbon to release the hostages. Unless you don't want the hostages released because you're a vicious Jew hater. In that case, just make your feelings plain.

But just not one person wearing the yellow pin. Like, if pins were being worn, not one.

No. And the Jews run Hollywood.

Oh, please. Oh, please. The Jews are in Hollywood? Watch the 2024 Oscars. You'll never think that again.

Yeah. No, but they think they're being brave and resistive. They think they're being brave is what's so crazy. Who?

Like the people wearing the ceasefire pins? Yeah.

That's It's like a brave in Hollywood.

I'm really having a hard time right now thinking about who I hate more, Mark Ruffalo or Jonathan Glazer. I really want to say Mark Ruffalo.

You just hate him because he has an ugly face.

Well, he also just... To me, he stands for... And by the way, he has the craziest history, and I didn't even really look into it until most recently because he's been wearing the pins and being insane. He has a very, very long history of having to apologize and clarify for being anti-Semitic. It's actually crazy. Mark Ruffalo is a full-blown anti-Semite, walking amongst us, and he gets cast in Holocaust movies?

No, it's so crazy. I think we give someone like Billy Eilish for now, give her the benefit of the doubt. I give her a little bit of grace. I give her a little bit of grace. So dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, Mark Ruffalo.

Mark Ruffalo is old enough to know better.

Mark Ruffalo just likes dead Jews.

Mm-hmm. Thousand %. I fucking hate Mark Ruffalo.

That's why he likes being in Holocaust movies. He gets off. He's like, yes.

Not Mark Ruffalo masturbating in his trailer. I'm deceased. Is this episode going to get us canceled? I don't give a fuck.

Claudia, I don't give a rip. I don't give a rip. So Up in the Hypern, one best picture at the Shitfest Oscars 2024.

But wait, can I talk about Oppenheimer for a second? Yes. I loved it so much. It was so brilliantly done. I knew very little about the creation of the atomic bomb. I didn't really know who Oppenheimer was. But in the very first scene in the movie. I'm getting that it's about really smart physicists in the beginning at all these elite universities. Oppenheimer is obviously this really well-respected guy, and he goes to talk to another one of the scientists. It's this older gentleman with white hair. I'm like, Wait, is Albert Einstein? I'm like, You're telling me Albert Einstein was alive during World War II and not 400 years ago? Albert Einstein drove in a car? I was shocked. I was shocked beyond belief. Now I need to watch Honestly, Oppenheimer made me really want to watch a documentary or a biopic on Albert Einstein. Jackie, I was floored. That's when you find out Picasso died in the '80s. Come again?

Yeah.

Me and Ben were like, No.

Is it Picasso that died in the '80s or the other P?

Van Gogh.

Van Gogh.

No. No, it's Picasso because Picasso invented modern art. He's the grandfather of modern art, and so modern is like, modern.

Picasso, 1881. I think it's Van Gogh.

No.

No, I don't think it's Van Gogh either, actually. No, Van Gogh cut his ear off. Wait, who is it? 1853. Who's the one?

Yeah.

No, we haven't hit the modern artist.

I don't freaking No, it's bothering me, too. It's a thing.

It's a thing. It's like a meme when you realize that this person... It's something with a P.

Yeah.

I want to find it. Hold on. It's going to feel good when we get it.

I know you're probably screaming.

I know you're probably screaming.

Okay, hold on. I'm going to find it.

Pablo Picasso. Oh, I'm Sorry. Born in 1881. Bitch, that's what I said. Died in 1973. Okay, sorry. Okay, so that's a really long period of time. Also, while we're there, Van Gogh died in 1890. Okay, that's not modern.

Okay, thank you. That's what I was saying. I was shook to see Albert Einstein in the film. I also didn't really know that so many of the great scientists during that time were Jews. That's why so many of them were happy to drop everything and move to this remote part of New Mexico where they built the atomic bomb because it was meant to be dropped on the Nazis. Now, by the time they figured it out, and we were the first to figure it out, the Nazis were already defeated, and then they decided to use it on Japan, which there was talk in the movie about whether that was the right decision because they were all ready to drop it on some Nazis. So I didn't know the Jewish influence of the science and physics community at that time. Almost every single one of them was Jewish. And that's why Christopher Nolan literally hired every Jewish actor to play. There was a million random scientists, including Josh Peck. Now, me and Ben were screaming, literally screaming, because it's really not a spoiler alert, but basically, they work forever on this atomic bomb, and they have to test it in this desert.

Everybody's gearing up. They're miles away. It's going to explode. Is it going to work? It's three years of work. The person to actually press the button for the first time ever is Josh Peck. Wow. It was really crazy.

You liked it?

I loved it. No notes, except Except, now this is a a crazy thing to say, and you guys are going to be like, Claudia, of course, you would say this. You hate women. It was truly perfectly cast. Except, I actually think Emily Blonde really did not do a good job. I was floored she got nominated for an Oscar.

Who did she play?

His wife. She had a very, very big role. I thought she actually did a really bad job. I was given community theater. Every time she was on screen, I was like, Oh, yeah, I'm watching a movie. I was like, Reminded.

Oh, damn. Is that just because you're so familiar with her and the other people you don't really know and you're just aware of her?

No, because I knew a lot of the people. Florence Pew, who was amazing. She had a very small role, and she was naked pretty much the entire time, but she looked great. She was great. I'm not super familiar with Kylian Murphy. That's true. Josh Hartnett. I, of course, know Robert De Niro.

He was great. I guess Josh Peck also would make you realize you're watching a movie.

Yeah, because I'm like, That's my friend.

Yeah, that's your friend. That's good, guys.

Just get you a good guy who could do both.

Totally.

Well, that's really cool. Jacky was amazing. You would love it. Honestly, the three hours flew by.

Okay, I'll watch it. It won best picture, so that feels right, is what you're saying?

Oh, definitely feels right. Christopher Nolan I've one as well. I had no idea because every time somebody from Oppenheimer won, they would get up and thank Christopher Nolan and Emma Thomas, who's his producing partner. When he won best director, he got up and thanked his producing partner who produces all of his films and all of his children. I didn't realize that was his wife. It was so cute. Now I'm low-key obsessed with Christopher Nolan. Catch me literally not knowing who he was a week ago and not caring at all. Now when we think back about that Peloton story and Jen Sherman, that's so cool. He's such a legend, and he was basically... He said something so profound. He was like, When you think about the art of filmmaking, it's literally in its first 100 years. We've only been making film for 100 years. And so the fact that you guys think I'm an important person in the early stages of filmmaking is so profoundly humbling because think about the first 100 years of painting. Think about it as any art form. He was just so smart. I'm like, Yes, Christopher. Keep talking. I'm obsessed, and he's hot, too.

Love.

Yeah, he's nice looking.

Dilf, director.

He won best director. Also, then best actor went to Killian Murphy.

Of course. He was Jackie. Incredible.

Then best actress went to Emma Stone in Poor Things.

She, low-key. Did she make anybody else cry? She was really making me emotional.

I didn't watch.

I don't know if she's really always wanted an Oscar or something about this film was so personal. She could not breathe. She ripped her dress as she was getting up there. She seriously was on the verge of a panic attack, short of breath. It was so genuine. So many people get up there, and it's just like, Please, shut the fuck up. She was so genuine. Me and Ben were both like, I was tearing up. She was so... I just love her. She looks great.

Then best actor in a supporting role, Robert Downey Jr.

Up and Well deserved. I loved his speech. Also, there was a weird moment. I thought Jimmy Kimmel did...

I was going to ask you, what do you think about Jimmy Kimmel?

He didn't bother me. He was like, never on. Thank you. That's what a host is supposed to do. His monolog.

It was fine, Except there was this weird moment where he referenced Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. Famously is sober, but he had a really very dark time where he was addicted to drugs. The joke Jimmy Kimmel made was, this is the highest moment in Robert Downey Jr. 'S career. Well, not the highest because he used to be high on drugs. I don't know the relationship between these two. I don't know really how Robert Downey Jr. Refers to his sobriety, but it definitely felt weird. It definitely did not feel appropriate. Also, given the other jokes he made compared to other people, he never pushed the button.

No, he didn't.

It was very boring, safe jokes, like dad jokes.

Robert Downey Jr. Did not look like he was enjoying it. He kept doing roll tape. I felt like he was trying to say Move on. Move on, yes. And two, I actually watched a monolog on YouTube because I didn't know it was starting at 04:00 PM Eastern Time. So I watched a monolog on YouTube this morning, and the commercial was in the middle of that joke. So like the break. Oh my God. So as Jimmy Kimmel said, this is the highest Robert Downer genre has ever been. And then maybe there was a little more, but it cuts to commercial. And then by the time we come back, I feel like I've missed the joke. So I didn't even know what he said.

Oh, that's intentional. Yeah. That's Crazy.

Best actress in a supporting role, Devine Joy, Randolph, The Holdovers.

Hilarious speech. So sweet. I didn't see the movie.

I'm going to get to shit we care about. Best original song, What Was I made for? Billy Dumbass Eilish from Barbie.

But that song's good.

Yeah, it is.

By the way, I'm holding space for two truths.

Yeah, no, this song is good. The song is very good. It was emblematic of Yeah, perfect. It was good. Then what else was there that I missed? That's it. That's really it.

But then the performances. I have to say I'm in love with Becky G. By the way, that song was not good. It shouldn't have won. But I'm glad she got to perform. She is so gorgeous and so little. I feel like I relate to her in that level. She's like 411. I just wanted to say I love her, and I feel like she was really nervous, and she did a great job. The performance on Everybody's Lips was I'm Just Ken. The way I didn't really realize Ryan Gossling could truly sing like that, he did an amazing job. He's not a singer, but obviously, he grew up in the Mickey Mouse Club. No, he was from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Yeah, but that's not his trade. He's not a profession. He's an actor.

No, but he did La La Land. He sang I Am Ken. It's not on his resume.

It's on his resume. He's not a live performer is what I'm saying. Okay, yes. I thought he did such a great job. I did think he was a little nervous. I thought everything was so 10 out of 10 amazing. The choreography, I was cracking Then when he goes into the audience and gave the mic to America, Barbi, everyone, the crew, and then he had a little moment with Emma Stone, and then he gets back on stage, Mark Ronson, Simu Liu. Who was the guy playing guitar? I feel like he was a famous guitarist. Was it Jean Simmons?

I don't know, but he was giving that.

I kept trying to Google who it was. I could not figure it out. Maybe it was Nobody. Yeah.

I didn't see a name, but I thought the same thing. He was playing guitar like he was somebody.

It was giving Jean Simmons. Yeah. But a jacket... It was Lash.

Slash. Slash.

Okay, great. I don't know who that is, but we were right. I just loved it. I don't even love that song so much, I'm not going to lie. I thought it was brilliant. I thought that performance deserved an Oscar.

What was funny is this whole time, it's like, Is Ryan Gosling going to sing? He's been saying, I don't know if I'll sing it, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, this was a very big production. They've actually been working very hard on it. It's not like he woke up and decided, Okay, I guess I'll sing the song.

Totally.

They put everything. They had an issue. I think it was meant to be comparable to that from gentlemen, Purple Blonds with Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe. They put their whole barbusy in that, and I loved it. I ate up every second. You know I'm like a Barbie low-key hater. Loved it.

Yeah, I love that song. I think it's really cute.

No, and I love the man dancing. Love Simu Leo. Simu Leo getting cast in Barbie is the best thing that ever happened to him right after being cast in Sun and Sun.

Because he didn't have to be in that performance because most of the other kens weren't from the movie. They were just backup dancers.

I bet he asked.

He was like, I'm not going to miss this.

No, I love how much he loved being in that movie. First, First, I knew him from Selling Sunset. Now, I know him from Barbie.

Yeah. Then I think his most important work would be number three. He's a superhero, no?

No. His most important work, it depends who you ask, would be his role as Mellie Shannon's boyfriend in the other two.

No, but he is-Yeah, no.

He's in Marvel.

Marvel, yeah. Yeah, he has a big- Or DC.

Or DC, don't ask me.

Anyways, that is Oscar's Yes, part one. Our next story is a bit of Oscar's adjacent news.

Okay.

Because Vanessa Hudgens flunted her baby bump in a sheer gown at the 2024 Oscars, announcing her pregnancy, and also then did a change in another glowing pregnancy look at the 2024 Vanity Fair Oscar Party.

Okay. I want to talk about the Vanity Fair Oscar Party second, so remind me of that.

That's our next story, is some news from Vanity Fair. Okay.

I watched, actually, for the first time, I think, ever, IBC. I always watch E, but I'm sorry, it's insufferable. You know what they do, E? First of all, it was only Leverne doing interviews. What's the story you're wearing with this outfit? Really, it's unwatchable. But they get you in because then they have Justin and Kelti and Heather. They shoved them in a corner. They weren't interviewing anybody. I'm like, You know what? What if I just didn't watch E? I'm like, A 29-year-old woman. I have free agency, so I watched ABC. Now, for the last 30 minutes of the red carpet, ABC had the exclusive. And that was Vanessa Anne and Julianne Hough. But until that, they had this random guy who was clearly an entertainment journalist by trade. I couldn't tell you his name because it doesn't fucking matter. He asked the most brilliant questions. I could tell everybody talking to him obviously knows him like he's a red carpet guy. They were so into his questions. They were thought-provoking, they were different. I just want to say, I don't know his name. I don't want to know his name, but he gets five It was worse for me.

Great.

Then Vanessa, I thought it was so sweet how everybody talking to her was so happy and gitty for her. Before they answered their first question, they were like, Oh, my God, congratulations. It was so cute. She's doing a very good job.

Yeah, I She showed up like, nobody knew she was pregnant. I don't know how far along she is, but she's decently far. She looks amazing. She's glowing. She looks so happy. I feel like we didn't even know that's what we needed. But it's what we needed.

It's giving A honeymoon baby.

Yeah.

Because she just got married. Yeah. Honestly, getting up there in a dress and heels, talking to other people for X amount of time pregnant has to be harder than any Olympic sport, I have to imagine.

Yeah.

They should have given her a chair, dead ass. Just saying.

The heels makes it tough.

I bet actually she probably took her heels off after the carpet to do her job because you can't see the feet, and there's no reason.

I just love her. Julian Huff is also a shorty, so it's not so bad.

They were on separate stages.

Oh, they weren't together? Not No. Police Reunion? No. I thought they were hosting together, like friends.

No, they weren't physically together.

No, I thought it was a duo, a hosting duo.

No, they were interviewing people separately.

I like my version better.

Well, it was great. I thought it was actually very well done. I'm a big hater on red carpet coverage. I thought ABC actually killed it. I wouldn't have guessed Julianne Hough. She's hosting. She was fine.

She's got hoopsing chops.

Vanessa Anne has obviously been studying.

Great.

I just love when people clearly saw the movies.

Yeah, that's like... Baseline. Baseline knowledge. Yeah. Okay, well, our next story, Vanity Fair's Oscar Party, took place after the Oscars, and there's some news. It was star-studded. It was star-studded. Everyone was looking good. Some news had emerged about Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr. I think for the first time since months of rumors about them being together, they were spotted leaving the party together.

They were also spotted in Vegas at the Super Bowl.

But everyone was at the Super Bowl. I don't know. Just seeing these pictures now, I'm like, Oh, okay. Yeah, maybe they're hooked up. I didn't really believe it before.

Oh, I did. I just don't care.

Yeah. I don't care immensely, but that's a cute couple.

I think Kim looked literally so gorgeous. Maybe the best she's ever looked. No, the best she's looked in years because she's been flopping with her Balenciaga looks. Who was she wearing? She was- She was wearing Balenciaga. Cool.

Stop, I'm cracking up.

I'm sorry. Two things can be true. I'm holding space for two truth. She looked amazing. I'm sorry. She really did. It's about time.

She did.

All the Jenner Kardashian girls look so sick. Kylie, best dressed.

Yeah. Timothy? Where was he? People are saying they've broken up. Really? Yeah. I had seen that a few weeks ago.

I guess it has been a minute. The last we saw them was the Emmys.

I feel like if they broke up, though, she wouldn't have gone last night because that's like Timmy's territory. I think they're together. It's Probably not.

Vanity Fair Oscar Party is actually Kardashian territory. They literally invented that party.

I disagree.

They didn't invent the party, but it's so their territory.

They could feel comfortable in that room. But if you just got freshly, that's a fresh ex-boyfriend, it's more his room that year than it's hers. Yes. That's it. That's all I'm saying.

I happen to love the Vanity Fair Oscars party because everybody... I've never seen one person look bad. It's like, for some reason, everybody has agreed, we're not going to take crazy risks and look stupid. We are all going to look glamorous and sick.

We're going to slay the house down boots.

Sabrina Carpenter was there with her rumored boyfriend, who's not really rumored anymore because he was in Singapore for her last Ares Tour show.

They took a picture. Barry Keoghan. He's the man of the moment. Saltburn. Saltburn. He's wearing a friendship bracelet that says Sabrina. So these two are very much together.

No, I'm obsessed. I love Sabrina Carpenter having moments. I'm such a big fan of hers.

Yeah.

Lindsay Lohan was there who's really been on this renaissance tour. She's back.

Yeah, she took a picture with Kim, throwback.

A love.

Really cute.

Everybody showed up and looked gorgine. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice night. I enjoyed it. That part, that half of the night. Nice after-party. Nice after-party. That's Oscar's Recap 2024.

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Thank you. You're welcome. Our next story has the internet in even more of a tizy than they already were. Kate Middleton is apologizing for a botched family photo. This is weird. She posted a photo of her and her children for UK Mother's Day. Very seemingly cute photo of her and her three children. But of course, eagle-eyed viewers found a Photoshop fail on Princess Charlotte's arm/ wrist. No, they found like 30.

It wasn't a Photoshop fail.

It was- What's more than the wrist?

Oh, there's a... Look at her neck by her jacket. There's a line, a pixelated line.

Okay.

If you go to Twitter, people have probably found about 30 things wrong with the photo. Also Charlotte's teeth. Also Charlotte's hair length. If you look at her hair in December, there's no way her hair could have grown that much.

What's wrong with Charlotte's teeth without being...

No, it's just in Congress with what her teeth have looked like in paparazzi photos recently.

And what's wrong with Kate's neck?

There is a line where her jacket meets her neck and her hair. Do you see? Pixelated?

I I do.

It's not that people thought this was a Photoshop fail. People thought this was AI-generated.

Oh, my God.

Then wait. You can't talk about... Kate Middleton can't do anything right now without people freaking out about it because what started as a joke is not a full-blown conspiracy theory Where in the world is Katherine Middleton. People were very quick to point out all of these things and really be like, It feels like this photo was generated by AI. Then after all this hoopla on the internet, people going crazy, the Associated Press recalled the photo. The way that it works, the Associated Press gets a photo and then distributes it to every newspaper. When they have a headline, that's why so many newspapers have the same exact headlines because it came from The Wire on AP.

It's the wire, yeah.

Companies like Associated Press, Reuters, are these overseers, and then they distribute- Featers, yeah. They recalled the photo, and they said, We have reasons to believe the photo has been manipulated, and we're not putting out fake news, essentially. That then spurred like, Holy shit, we were fucking around. But it's true.

Got it. Then- Then Kay put out the statement saying, quote, Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion in the family photograph we shared, and I wanted to apologize for any confusion, the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother's Day. So now-Okay, I just want to say the photo recall thing, I interpreted it differently as like, they realized this photo came from Kate. They realized that it wasn't good. And so they stopped people from sharing it anymore because it's like, now Kate decides she doesn't want it to continue being shared.

No, that's not how it works. You can't just decide you want a photo not shared on the internet and AP is going to approve. No.

Just saying. They have relationships.

By the way, read AP's statement.

Right. No, but I'm just saying that's the lens that I read it through where it was like, Oh, fuck. We take it back.

No.

Cytral Z.

When people started theorizing, I was like, Oh, classic, whatever. I'm sure they photoshopped the photo It's going to be as beautiful as they wanted it to be. Photoshop fails don't bother me. Like, whatever. Then the AP thing, and I was like, Oh, damn, there's definitely something more. Maybe the people who are joking about AI, we're onto something. Now, Kate's losery ass statement, Oh, silly little mom, I'm an amateur photographer. No, something's going on. If you weren't a conspiracy theorist before- I don't think it's AI-generated because this literally happens every time they put out a family photo. Ap has never recalled the photo.

Okay. I don't care about the AP. They're dishonest journalists. I don't get my truth from them. I'm looking at the photo. I don't think it's AI because AI has a look to it that this photo does not have.

I think-Look at the kid on the left's fingers.

Oh, he's crossing his fingers. Oh, that I thought was funny because I feel like she made him promise something that he then crossed. You know how kids do that?

You're so sweet, Jackie.

I'll smile.

First of all, look at her fingers.

I'm seeing her fingers on Charlotte.

No, sorry. Charlotte's fingers.

Okay.

Her wrist is detached from her hand.

Yeah, that to me is like, facetune fail.

I just feel... Wait, hold on. I'm going to pull up all the discrepancies people have pointed out.

My bigger question. This is what I'm saying. I don't think it's AI, but I do think the photo was edited so that everyone looked absolutely their best. They took a million photos, and then they used the version of everyone that's best, and they put it together. Why can't you just take one decent photo? Maybe someone isn't giving their best smile, but people take family photos all the time. Yes, it's hard to get three children to smile at the same time, but two out of the three are grown children who are obedient. It's just the one with the crossface, Lewis, who likes to cause trouble.

Yes, he likes to cause trouble, but there is weirdness all around this photo. There's a lot going on. Her hair couldn't possibly have grown that long. Kate's hands look fake. Oh, her right-hand, the one on Louis, is blurry as fuck.

Okay.

You saw the neckline, the wrist, the kid's hand. There's more that people have pointed out. There's something wrong with this photo. I do think it goes beyond, not to be like such a conspiracy theorist, because at first I was like, Ha ha. But no, there's something going But if there's something going on, what's the theory that she wasn't well enough to take a photo for Mother's Day? Where's her wedding ring?

Well, I don't think she would intentionally put out a photo without a wedding ring. I think it means nothing. Where's my wedding ring?

Okay, but you're not taking an official family photo for your history books.

I just think if they had all these things they wanted to hide, they could have easily used an old picture.

People would have figured that out, too.

No. Yeah, it's an old picture that I like of my family. Why does it have to be today?

Yeah, when they were all babies.

Yeah, like something that represents motherhood.

Yeah. I don't know what's going on, but honestly, I believe it. I believe whatever it's saying.

Okay, what is the running theory?

They don't There's no conclusive. The theory is that she got a BBL.

No, seriously. What do they think happened? They're divorcing? I don't know.

I think she's gone missing.

You think she's gone missing. Why not just It's an old ass photo.

I don't know. I need her... That Range Rover photo, it was giving Madame Tussot.

Also, AI, if they're going to mess with hands, they're giving you six fingers. Yes. They're not doing this. Pinky promise. I crossed on it.

You're such a mom. He's crossing his fingers.

Because he said something untrue. He probably said, Okay, I'll smile.

Sound off in the comments. What do you think is going on with Kate Middleton.

Yeah. I'm waiting till Easter. After Easter, all bets are off. I'll judge. But she has my good faith, my benefit of the doubt, till Easter.

Fair.

I'll see you guys in April, and we'll have a conversation. They usually do a big Easter service. Will she be spotted at the church?

The world may never know.

No, we'll know on Easter.

Yeah, it's a big deal for them. Right.

Just practice patience is all I'll say.

I'm having fun in the meantime. Okay.

I'm happy for you. Our fifth and final story is a little R. A. News because it was a very R. E. Heavy weekend.

I listened to the album this morning.

She performed on SNL this weekend, two songs, and then did some sketches, but she performed We Can't Be Friends and Imperfect For You. As I stated on Friday, We Can't Be Friends is such a bop. Agreed. Such an amazing song. I can't stop listening to it. However, I need to say that the way I interpret the song when I first heard it, I thought it was about her and Spongebob. It's like, We can't be friends because I love you too much.

Of course, because I want to fuck.

The lyrics that's like, Take all your papers and pens, wait You Like Me Again, I thought was about the media and the public. No, this song is about Dalton. We can't be friends because I fucking hate you. I'll wait until you like me again because you fucking hate me. And then she put out the music video for the song, which she does not mince, whereas this is about her marriage that ended.

I love that song as well. I listened to the whole album this morning. It's so funny. I watched an interview, I think maybe it was Zane Lo, where she said her two greatest musical influences Have an always well be Mariah Carey for her songwriting and Imogen Heep for her production. And Amari is very into producing her own music, yada, yada. And ever since she said that, I hear so much Imogen Heep. The album is so Imogen.

Yeah, that's true. On We can't be friends, though. I think it sounds like Robin dancing on my own a little bit. Every time the course is about to come in, I feel like it's about to start singing, I'm in the corner.

I'm in the corner. Just listen to it like that next time.

Maybe someone could do a mashup for me.

I love a mashup. Internet DJs, get on it.

If I had musical production skills, that would be something I'd be really passionate about because I'm really good at hearing two songs and realizing which songs are similar. If I could make mashups, I would crush it. That is Ben's favorite thing to do. Dj Earworm would be out of a job.

I actually think DJ Earworm is out of a job.

That's not funny. I hope that he works forever because he creates-Unemployment is no joke.

No, it's not.

I love DJ Earworm. I think he's the best DJ of our time.

Wow. Wow.

That's a strong statement. Yeah, I do. I don't think anyone can do it like DJ Eerworm.

Damn. I said it. I said it. Yes. And...

Did you say that shit with your chest? I'm I'm not sure why she didn't perform that on SNL, but I love that. I'm over that song, onto the next.

Yeah. No, I thought the sets were really beautiful.

She looked beautiful for, imperfect for you.

And she was at the Oscar, so she's been by Coastal all weekend. I have to say, probably one of my least favorite hairstyles, debut on any red carpet ever.

Even though I've been liking this era of hair for her.

Me too. I love the blonde. It's super cute. It was literally like a...

It was swirly, curly, like you need to brush out your curves.

Yeah. You know Anna Paquin from True Blood? When she was six, she was the youngest person to ever win an Oscar. I think she wore her hair like that.

Shirley Temple.

Shirley Temple with the curly Q.

Shirley Squirly Temple. It was horrible.

It It was horrible.

Yeah. It was giving Anna Paquin. Okay, so that's like, we'll want to know from the weekend. And of course, I'm sure the climate change activist will be looking into her flight log from how she got to- Of course. New York to LA so quickly.

She walked. Don't worry, she walked. She's fine.

Her Bicycle. Other than that, Good Weekend for Ari. I feel like the cycle is like we're moving through it and people are enjoying the music, which is benefiting her personally and her reputationally.

She's slowly Totally shedding the home wrecker vibe.

Yeah. She must really fucking love Sponje Rob, is all I'll say.

By the way, they have not... Do we have confirmation that they're still together? The last they were actually spotted was at that Broadway show, a while ago.

No, I think they're still together. It wasn't that long ago.

By the way, same, but we don't know that.

No. They better be together, is all Mom going to say.

Yeah.

It's just so crazy because she was on SNL. I figured she was in the room with someone Then she's at the Oscars. She's in the room with all these people, and she could date any of them.

I know. I was thinking the same thing.

But it's Sponjebob is the man for her. Okay. Those were the best five stories.

You didn't really need to know them.

You think?

Yeah. That wasn't a slight towards you in the work that you did today.

No, that wasn't a slight towards you that you think. I guess technically, you don't need to know them as far as survival.

Do you need to know anything?

You need to know what's going on in Israel if you're going to speak on it. That you need to know.

You also need to know that if you get the notovirus and you're about to throw up, don't get off the toilet. That's something that you need to know.

Yeah.

That's our show. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, a millennia morning show. We deliver the fast-time stories. You need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video of a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast. Anywhere podcast can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Cetra, public media, where I already guys talk. I love listening to the podcast, find us on social. It'll be faster, public video. I already got a podcast. I'll be about a beautiful setting and good lit talent. We are. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you. Love you. Bye.