Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the chose and happy Wednesday. It is Hump day. Don't forget to hump someone you love. And speaking of humping people that I love, it's a girl that I love. It's Jackie.

Oh, hey, latter de Lou. Screw lou de la tur. Latter de Lou.

Hello, turdy Lou who?

Turdy Lou who? Fahu. Welcome, toasters, to this show. Hopefully the people who wrote this jingle are in litigious. No?

So, yeah, we'll get into it on Friday.

I just want to say about that song that is pervasive in the Grinch movies. It's always what the whos are caroling, and we know the who's are always caroling, and it's not on the soundtrack.

This is disgusting.

I kind of feel like it's ripe for recording. Nobody really owns it.

Our girls, it's kind of like a legal gray area. Is that what you're saying?

It's a murky. It's a jingle. It's something that's in the zeitgeist that nobody owns.

I absolutely love that.

I feel like there are songs like that, like who owns old McDonald?

Somebody for sure. Probably Fisher Price, if I had to guess.

No, they own that new song that everyone's talking about, you know? What's the song the animals play? The animals play? The animals play all day. There's this mat the monkey play. There's this mat that, like, everybody. It's viral. If you have a baby right now, I didn't have it for Harry, but then I saw that girly's posting it, so I got it, and Charlie loves it. And it can keep transitioning as babies get older, and it has original music on it. It's about 25 minutes of music, songs you've never heard before, but they will get inside your head, and they will not leave your head.

Well, let me say that I do love my job more than anything, but if I had to be doing something else, I would want to be in the music department of, like, a big children's company. Whether that's like Hasbro, Fisher Price, I'm not particular. I feel like the collaborative process is amazing in those companies, and I think we would be doing really important work together.

No, you would be very good at that. I do feel as though that's your calling that you've missed, and instead you're sitting here with yargirl.

Yeah. Or I would be one of those music class for kids where they have a guitar player, a singer, and then somebody handing out scarves. I would be one of those people.

Oh, yeah. If you didn't quite make it at.

Hasbro, yeah, that would be the fallback. I feel like that's like the most fun but also torturous job.

Yeah, it's a lot of work. I feel like for me, my missed calling was being a bot mitzvah dance motivator.

I completely agree.

When we were watching your bhat mitzvah video on family vacation. Now my joints are old and creaky. Creaky. But at a point in my life, that was my calling. I can get the crowd moving and going.

Let me ask you a question, because I haven't been to a basmisva in many, many years. But I know in the day and age we grew up in, when you did the bhat mitzvah circuits in 7th and 8th grade, every bhat mitzvah worth its salt had a dj with a bunch of motivators. They were like these young, kind of 20 something, very fit boys and girls wearing all black, whose job it was to hype up the crowd, get the conga line started. It was kind of a thankless job. Is that still part of Batsmisva trend culture?

I don't know why it wouldn't be, but please let us know in the comments. Are the motivators still motivated or have they been taken over by AI?

Yeah, I don't know why. I just feel like it's a thing of the past. I hope it's not. But also, I would love a documentary on that because I know now those 20 somethings were like, drunk and they were like fucking uncles and cousins and stuff at bot mitzvahs. I know that now, but back then I didn't know. I think there was an underbelly, like a subculture of the bas Misfa motivational dancers and what was a real party. Do you think they were doing drugs?

No. That's the sort of thing that will get you fired. We won't tolerate that here. I actually think even sneaking alcohol would be demerit.

But it's the kind of job that literally requires drugs and alcohol, for sure.

But not if you're natural at it. For me, I wouldn't need drugs and alcohol, which is why it's my calling.

For me, the only way I would survive even one bat mitzvah is with a massive amounts of drugs and alcohol. I would need Adderall, cocaine. It's hours and hours of dancing, but mitzvahs are like 5 hours.

That's insane. I feel like maybe there are different levels of DJ companies, and maybe the most elite have those who are most naturally gifted and they don't need performance enhancing substances. Maybe, like the lesser tiers.

It's like cracked out motivators.

Cracked DJ. Cracked out DJ crack. Cracky ochio.

That would be the name of your company that employs a bunch of Adderall riddled teens. It would be called cracky o productions.

Fine. Only because.

Not that that's the type of environment you would harbor, but only because it's a great.

Yeah, yeah. And then I would have to live up to the name.

Yeah. Are you excited for that part of your life when your kids are grown and they're doing the bam mitzvahs? You obviously go as an adult and the kids go for the kids, but you go because you're friends with the parents. It's the two journeys in life. You're either a guest of the bar mitzvah boy or the bar mitzvah boy's parents. Yeah.

Because otherwise you don't go to bar mitzvah. It's just like, I haven't been to a bar mitzvah since Margot.

No, you're either twelve or 40. Like, that's it.

Yeah. So, yeah, it seems like a ball. Like at a party all dressed up, and then your kids are there, too, but it's definitely like a next chapter.

Yeah.

So it's like, oh, I guess I'll be older, wiser, crackier. Like, crackier.

So we've got a great show today. Let's do a little housekeeping. It's Wednesday, which is a huge day here at the toast. Normally we would do our dear toasters our advice segment that we literally got over, like, 700 submissions last week. People are desperate for our. For real, dead serious. I did kind of always say, we don't get it. I did hound people last week, being like, where the hell are you? And they showed up. So we'll do that. But we're going to do it tomorrow because last night was the premiere of Vanderpump rules. We're going to do a little tv recap. Even though there's literally nothing to say. We will talk about it at the end of today's episode. We'll bring back the tv recaps because Vanderpump rules is on. So housekeeping will go as such. Wednesday, Vanderpump rules. Thursday, dear toasters, Friday, weenie of the week.

And Queenie. And Queenie can only be negative. Turdy. I can, but we have to try.

At, you know, another week has gone by where I have a million candidates for Weenie of the week, and I can't scrounge up one measly person for Queenie of the week.

Well, maybe today your queenie will come through. Perhaps, perhaps not.

We have great stories. I don't know for sure, because I did not choose them, but I know that there was a new episode of New Heights.

Yes. I actually don't know if anything they said made it to fast five.

They really didn't say anything. I watched.

Here's Mr. Kelsey, father's nickname for.

Yeah. Like, there really wasn't.

And it turns out to be like, tay.

No, I just want to say we got so much on Sunday, we can't complain. But I was kind of for, like, the new episode of Heights, like, what would come from. It was a life raft to get through the week, and now that I'm here, I'm drowning. There was nothing.

There was nothing. And I think their strategy is to talk about it on the show, but not in a way where they're actually saying anything because they don't want to actually divulge too much. So people are picking up scraps. Jason calls Taylor a part of the family as engagement looms.

Right. And he literally didn't. He just said, the family. Mom, dad, Tay.

Yeah. Or he probably said, like, chief's family.

Yes.

Friends and family.

So that was tough. And I sent you this story.

But I respect that they still get on the pod. They still do their job. They don't ignore it. They address it. But I also respect that they give us nothing. It's an art. It really is an art to talk about something without saying anything.

Word salad. Energy.

Word salad. Yummy. Yummy. But the key to a word salad is to not let people know that it is a word salad. And you only realize after when you've eaten it. Like, hey, oh, I had a salad.

And I do think people watched the episode and felt like they got stuff and they felt fulfilled, even though they're literally being gaslight because there was nothing in the episode. So you're right. It was a successful word salad, because.

Sometimes there's nothing more painful than listening to an obvious word salad. That's a jumble of words that don't lead anywhere.

Agreed.

That's a failed word salad. We all know who we're talking about.

I literally don't know. Were your headphones not plugged in again?

No, they were. I just plugged my computer into charge. Oh, my God. Getting yelled at.

I don't know who you were. Just, like, subtly referring, who's the queen?

Of word. No, no, that's. That's rude.

Is it? I feel like Olivia would agree. She's quite verbose.

Yeah, she's verbose. She's salad like. But her salad has protein and cheese and things.

Yes, but there's a lot of.

Is there is.

Okay, who's the queen of word salad?

That's so funny that you don't have the same association of a word salad.

Were you going to say Taylor?

Taylor who?

Swift. No. Yeah. No, I literally don't know who you're talking about.

Really?

Is it me?

No. Oh, my God. You're not thinking broadly enough. Think in, like, a more global context on a very big stage.

Kamala Harris. But it's not really, like, a global stage. But I guess, yeah, she does give word salad energy.

But at some point, she's the master chef of a word salad. Except it's not. She's the Gordon.

She's the Gordon Ramsay for.

Watching.

But Jackie, she also has, like, a team of people who wrote, who created.

Who chopped the salads for her, that's even scarier because her word salads are not successful word salads in the sense that, you know, you're eating a salad.

Yeah, but wait. All I was trying to say was about how we got on this word salad. Train the stories while new heights word salad there is kind of yummy. There is a story today that, at least for me, might be the most important thing we'll ever discuss here on the toast.

Okay. Is it one of the one that you sent me?

Yes.

Oh, actually, you sent me, like, three. Sort of.

Well, at first I was sending you things that I thought you would enjoy. I wasn't suggesting, but then I sent you a story from People magazine regarding Tariq el Musa.

Yeah. Do you want that to be the first one?

I actually think it is that important. Like, dead seriously? And for those who might be new here, this is a part of toast lore. This is like a toast.

Her story.

It is a running joke, but it's not a joke to me. To me, it's very serious. It is something I haven't stopped thinking about since 2016 and I haven't stopped talking about since 2016. And for the first time ever, we have an update.

That's why you stay committed to the things that you care about, need answers for. Yeah. Okay, so let's get into the stories without really. Well, we're already talking about them, so I don't want to double dip.

Okay, wait, let me think. What did I want to share? I had steak for dinner. I saw Zach Shapiro. Let me think. Let me take. I had so many chips I could.

Share that I'm still sick, but my voice has changed and I think it's like a nice voice. And I'm in the process of weaning from breastfeeding, so I'm just like, in pain. And it's such a slow process and I think I might have skipped a step. So I'm suffering.

I didn't know that. That's kind of like a big deal. Why didn't you share that?

I thought I did.

You were like, have been saying that you're going to do it, but not that you're starting it.

It takes weeks if you want to do it right. So I'm probably like two weeks away from being done, but this is kind of a step backwards.

Oh, another.

Because I feel like I should have pumped midday yesterday and I skipped it, but I literally didn't have the time. When was I supposed to pump?

Do you need me to fly down and suck out? You have a Little. What's it called? Block. What's it called? No.

Clog.

Clog.

And I think I've said this on the toast before, but the thing about clogs is in the years since I've had Harry and Charlie, the science on clogs has completely changed. Like, it used to know put heat on it because they thought it was an actual clog. And now they're like, no, it's a swelling. So put cold on it. Like the actual exact opposite. And now they say, like, take Advil and put cold. Whereas before it was like, by the.

Way, do you do cabbage?

So I never did cabbage before, but I've heard that it really works. And I'm going to be getting some cabbage today.

All my girly friends, they were talking about it the other day, everybody does cabbage. It's like the thing, you just do it. It works instantly.

Yeah. For your friends, did they breastfeed at all? Yes, but they wanted to be done. Yes, because some people who don't want to breastfeed at all, like the week that they give birth, they do cabbage so that their milk doesn't come in or they do pack.

There might have been someone in the group who did that, too. But I know it was like a mixed bag of girlies when it came to their breasts.

Aren't we all a mixed bag of girl? Least when it comes to our breasts.

Ain't that the truth.

So I'm going to do cabage. And also, what's working out for me is when you're sick, your supply lessens. And usually when I'm sick and breastfeeding, I don't take medication because those medications are drying to dry out your nostrils, but they also dry out your breasts. But now I can take that medication intentionally to dry out. That's fabulous.

Before we dive in, there was something I wanted to do. I wanted to use my platform for. Ooh. So Jackie and I have started this little campaign. Know, in our community, we really think that our older sister Olivia should get a dog. And not just any dog. Like, her and her husband have spoken about getting, like, a Bernie's mountain dog. And we're like, yeah, sure, yeah. Like, there's only one breed that we really would consider, and I think that we should use our platform for good. And I think we should start an initiative to anyone who's, like, a dog parent. And also, Olivia has two kids. She has a lot going on. It's not know she doesn't want a dog for no. Like, she's a lot going on. But I think everybody should really kind of share their stories about how the dog enhanced their life and how their kids love the dog so much and maybe drop a comment on YouTube or send Olivia a message. I just think the power of the toast can convince her.

I don't think so. She's so stubborn. We're all so stubborn.

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not stubborn.

You're stubborn. The satchel is stubborn.

What do you think is the most stubborn in the family? I don't think you're stubborn, by the way.

You don't?

No. You're a lot of things, but you're not stubborn. No, I'm kidding. You're a lot of things. Beautiful, kind, caring, generous, charitable.

For sure. Yeah. I don't think I'm super stubborn, but sometimes I can be. I don't know. Yeah. Anyways, who's the most stubborn? Thatchel. But you're pretty bad, too.

Really? I feel like I'm so open to. I acknowledge my stubbornness, but you never know that no matter something. But in a year from now. I know. I'll say. Right?

But why can't you just do it? Not in a year. Like what?

Like what? I feel like I've gotten so good.

Like if I told you something that you would love right now, you don't go and do it. Tell me trust.

Tell me. Maybe have a reason. Trying to get you to do. Maybe have a.

Were what? Like you were stubborn against beef stew.

Okay, fine. I'll give you that I'm stubborn against food. I have, like, a food thing. I have issues with certain foods. That's to me, like, the biological.

Fine, I'll accept that. But when I say, turtie, you're going to love this. Like, can't you just trust your girl?

I feel like I do trust you. I tried your beef stew. Like, what more do you want from me?

You guzzled it.

What more do you want from me? I ate the beef stew and I loved it. And I said I was wrong. Like, my God, is that what a stubborn person would do?

No, I'm not asking that. I'm asking for the next recommendation I give you that you try it at once. Not at last.

I feel like the first opportunity I had to try beef stew. I did. But you wanted me to go make my own.

Wing it after. And I just want to say, I.

Didn'T poo poo beef stew. I poo pooed. Just like, the frequency in which we were talking about beef stew.

But the thing is, we're doing important work. Like, I get tagged in beef stews all the time. People are using beef stew to up their supply. People are using beef stew to get pregnant. It's a very nourishing food, and it's important that we do that sort of work here.

Turtle, should I make beef stew for my book club?

Yes. I'll send you the real. No, you have to follow the real.

I've pretty much dead set on catering, actually. I met a DM with the toaster yesterday who's like a kosher chef, and she's like, let me just cook it and drop it off at your house. That sounds amazing.

Or Ben could make the beef stew because he helped me and he knows.

I helped you, too. And I could just watch our Patreon vlog at slash the toast.

You could?

If I wanted to. I could.

It's a good vlog. You should all watch it.

I also wanted to update everyone on something that I feel. For so many months, I was talking about endlessly, and then I just kind of stopped talking about it. My eye twitch. And I do want everyone to know it is still omnipresent. Extremely. When we went away on vacation, it went away a little bit, but not so much. And it's definitely lessened. But I still have an eye twitch. Same eye, same area, same everything. That's what I'm living with. Yes. Sad, sad, sad.

When I climb into bed, I start feeling sad. Suddenly I miss my mom and my dad without Nintendo. Right, right.

And this is just a great reminder that this podcast is hosted by not one, but two female authors. Jackie wrote an absolutely just truly, like, chilling, groundbreaking, and borderline heartbreaking children's book called the Camper and the Counselor. You can get it on Amazon or wherever you get your books. It's called the Camper and the counselor by Jacqueline Ashray. Actually, Jackie, kind of weird you didn't use your government name on the COVID.

Well, I used my known name so.

Much smarter, but it's just kind of crazy.

I know, but it was your stage name. Yeah, it's my stage name. I didn't use my married name either. I went with the name that the people know me by.

And my book is also by my stage name. Both my stage names. Girl with no job, the crazy, beautiful life of an Instagram thirst monster. It's a memoir. It's an autobiography. It's 240 pages. It's really a light read. People are saying it's kind of their favorite book of the past ten years. That's just what people are saying. And you could also get it on Amazon again. It's called Girl with no job by Claudia Oshre. I think you'd enjoy both of those. Something for everyone in your life.

I feel like not enough people know.

That we're not to. I just feel like I'm always bringing up tinks wherever I am. But she's kind of like, I'm inspired by her. And I was watching her stories, and I realized she's always talking about her book, and I'm like, I need to talk about my book more. I forget that I'm a published author, and she helped me see that in myself.

I think the same thing. Like, I'll see the book on the shelf, and I'm like, I need to talk about this book more.

No, I'll see the book on the shelf, and I'll be like, things I did that.

Things I did that. I actually, in my time hop. Like, I see all the stuff for pictures of getting the book ready. Like, a year ago, I was picking out the size. I have pictures of a bunch of different books. So it's all very exciting how the difference a year can make.

We're women in comedy. We're women in podcasting. We're women in publishing.

We've been women in publishing, though, on both sides.

This podcast is like an episode of.

Younger as readers and as authors.

Yeah. I also think, like, going back to a conversation from 30 minutes ago, jobs that we could do. People ask me all the time, like, if you weren't doing this, what would you do? And I always have, like, jokey answers, but I actually do think I would really enjoy working at a Reese's book club or, like, a publishing reader and being, like, something like, maybe a tastemaker in the literary arts.

Yeah, I think I could be a good reader, like, read books and recommend them or decide if we want to publish them or decide if they're going to be the book of the month.

You would be, like, the junk pile coordinator at a publishing house.

What is that?

Didn't you watch younger? They have a junk pile where all these manuscripts end up. Either people send them in or they came from someone else, and every now and then, you'll find, like, a diamond in the junk stack. But nobody wants to touch the junk stack. So it's literally just like, this big pile in the corner of the office.

Yeah, no, that's what Dana's calling is that she missed, because she reads really quickly, she has really great taste, and that's her calling.

I love that.

I'm glad that she has a book club podcast where she can at least channel some of flex that much, channel some of that. But it's sad when people miss her calling, just like you and I bringing it back to the top of the show.

I do feel like I miss my calling dead. Seriously, when it comes to having a career in music, it is my dream. I really need to release some more music, even though.

Did you see Kate Hudson released a song?

I did, and I'm so glad you brought that up, because a fun fact about Kate Hudson, she reminds me a lot of Gwyneth Paltrow in the sense that they're both known for being actors. However, they had both have amazing singing voices, and I believe they were both on glee. So that's how I discovered that they both sang, and I think that was, like, the one opportunity they got to do both things that they love. And I've always known that she's sang. There's actually a viral video of her singing, I think, the national anthem or something. People are always shocked to find out she has an amazing voice, and I think she finally was just like, fuck it. What if I just released a song?

Yeah. And it's like a bop.

Yeah. I love it. I love that verse. She didn't do major promo for it. I think it's actually just truly a passion project. And I think her man's is, like a music producer, so they probably just made it in the house.

Classic stuff.

That's a dream.

Yeah.

Being married to a music producer who has, like, a studio in the house that you can use to make music but also record your podcast.

Also, another like, Jackie Schimmel.

I'm not a jealous person. Actually, I am. But there are a few things in life that make me really jealous. And Jackie Schimmel being married to a very successful music producer who has a studio in his own house, that then he helps her soundproof her studio. That's a dream. And then he's also responsible. I think he wrote, like, I forget which one Direction song it was, but, like, a really good one. I live for you along for you Olivia. One of those.

Wait, shouldn't it be called Jackie then?

Wow. Then maybe it wasn't that. I think it was. She been my queen since we were 16. We want the same things. I feel like I should just look it up.

Dreams. All right.

I would say it's just more fun to kind of scroll through the category because I remember I was, like, singing that song once on Instagram. She's like, by the way, did you know my husband did this song? I'm like, no. It was like the craziest thing I ever learned. To me, that's something to be jealous of. And I think being jealous is okay as long as it's something worthy. Yeah.

And as long as you don't act in an apparent.

No, I'm not going to steal her.

Yeah. As long as it doesn't drive you to do bad things.

Yeah. No, I would never. I would never. What's something you jealous of?

I was just saying yesterday, and I'm jealous of Shannon's productivity.

Oh. I'm jealous of Shannon's house.

I'm jealous of. Yeah. Just Shannon's get up. I'm jealous that Shannon wakes up at the time she wakes up naturally and starts her day and has a coffee. Like, if I could get up at that time, I could get so much more done.

I guess it just depends. I'm actually jealous of a lot of things in Shannon's life. In particular. I'm jealous of her body. I'm jealous of her house. I'm jealous of her clothes. I'm jealous of her sense of, like, it's one thing to be able to buy nice things, but it's another thing.

To style them and put them together.

But Shannon's also, like, when you meet her, I actually understand why people maybe would meet Shannon before they meet her and dislike her because there's so much in her life that's to be envious of. But then you meet her and you can't help but be truly happy for her and realize she has all these things because she deserves them and she earned them.

Totally hate her. Yeah. Great. Anything else jealous of?

Oh, my God, today? I don't know. But in general, yes. That's something I need to work on, actually. Not to keep bringing up tinks, but when we were together, she was like, we were having a really deep conversation, and she was like, what's, like, your least favorite part of yourself? And I was like, my thighs? And she was like, no, personality wise, give me legs. Yeah. By the way, I was making a joke. She was like, personality wise. And I was like, I really am, like, a jealous person. And it's like, a really poor quality. And she was like, yeah, you should fix that.

I feel like, yes, you could fix that. Or I think if you're honest about it, it becomes, like, a funny thing and it's not so dark, so true. But I feel like people who harbor jealousy and just act, like, don't vocalize it, don't make a joke about it, and just act out. It's so out of jealousy.

That's like that with envy.

But being, like, you could turn your jealousy into, like, complimentary.

Yeah.

And there are a few things that if you're jealous of someone having, why not go and get them for yourself? So true.

Of course not.

A music producer husband?

No, not that specific one.

I guess I could turn my alarm on at 06:00 a.m. My closet.

Right. There are certain things, like, within your grasp.

Right.

My part feels off. It's, like, bothering me.

Looks good.

Thanks, girly. Okay. I do feel.

Do you now? I feel it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by drizzly. Picture this nightmare scenario. You're hosting friends for the big game. It's neck and neck in the fourth quarter, and suddenly you realize you're out of drinks. Boo. You start to sweat. Your friends start to turn on you. You're forced to go on a last second drink run, and you end up missing the game winning touchdown while in line. Terrifying, isn't it? Well, luckily, you can avoid the drama with drizzly, the Goto app for drink delivery. With drizzly, you can shop a huge selection of beer, wine and spirits and then get them delivered right to your watch party. You can also compare prices across multiple stores in your area. You can find the best deals on game day drinks and get back to armchair quarterbacking from, you guessed it, your armchair. Download, the drizzly app to get drizzly or go to drizzly.com. That's drizly.com. Today you must be over 21. It's not available in all locations. And I want to say probably one of my favorite things about drizzly is that in certain areas you can get spritz society on drizly.

So when you're crushing spritzes or whatever it is that you're drinking. This actually, no, it's next weekend. Excuse me. For the big game, make sure to have Drizzley downloaded on your phone. Like, don't be irresponsible. Things can sometimes you miscalculated how many drinks you were going to need. You're human. It's fine. Like you were doing a lot. Have the drizzly app. You can download it. Driz l y. You can also go to drizzly.com. You must be over 21. It is not available in all locations. Download the drizzly app or go to drizzly.com. Driz L y.com today must be over 21. Not available in all locations. Today's episode is also brought to you by the new Lionsgate movie Scrambled. So scrambled is a heartfelt yet hilarious journey of self discovery and self love. It's written, directed and stars Leah McKendrick, who is, quote, among IndieWire's top female filmmakers to watch this year. Super excited about this new Lionsgate movie. It's called scrambled and I feel like it's really for the toasters. I think it's kind of a really relatable journey that the character's going through, perhaps one that you've gone through, or you're currently going through that journey of being single, not minding so much but knowing your biological clock is ticking and maybe wanting kids one day, not being so sure, feeling like you have to grow up overnight.

That's exactly what happens in this movie. So the quintessential eternal bridesmaid, Nellie Robinson, who's played by Leah McKendrick, is constantly finding herself between weddings, baby showers and bad dates. So when she begins to feel like the clock is ticking, she is. Faced with bleak romantic prosthetics, Nellie decides to freeze her eggs, setting her on an empowering journey to a brave new world where she ultimately discovers the one she's looking for might just be herself. Film Threat says it's brilliant storytelling. You can learn more watch the trailer@lionsgate.com slash movie Slash scrambled the trailer will give you chills. Also, it has my favorite song in it, love myself by Hailey Steinfeld, which is like such a good song and I feel like it's emblematic of the theme of the movie.

That's a song that you should have recorded.

Okay. I'm so glad you brought that up. I want to talk about that in 1 second.

Great.

The movie scrambled is in theaters February 2. It is? Rated R. Grab your gal pals. Excuse me? Go by yourself. February 2. Lionsgate movie Scrambled is in theaters February 2. Rated R. It's so funny that you said that. That's a song I should have recorded both times when I. For those who maybe don't know, I released two Grammy award winning songs. And at the very beginning of the creative process of both of those songs with the producers and the songwriters, the song that I cited like that, I wanted it to be, like, message wise, sound wise, melody wise, was love myself by Haley Steinfeld.

Totally. And then the other song that you should have written is brave by Jessie J.

Actually, you should have written that song, because I don't even know that. No, no.

If you listen to it, will you listen to it quickly?

Have we learned nothing from Friday?

Frick?

We can't be playing songs on this podcast anymore.

Frick Frack. But anyways, the song is, like, one of my favorite songs. It's called brave by Jessie J. By the way, shout out to Jessie J. She's one of my favorite people on the planet.

She's so criminally underrated.

She's so criminally talented. She's the best singer ever. She's such a great songwriter for herself and for other people. And now she's literally, from what I see on instagram, the most amazing mom. Nobody is happier to be a mom. I just love watching people who love motherhood, and I love her.

It's also fun to watch someone who motherhood didn't come easy to and who wanted it for so long. And I think I heard her say in an interview, and she kind of came to terms with the fact that that was not going to be her future. So somebody who wanted it so bad and then got it, it's beautiful to watch.

It really is. She's a fun follow, and I want new music from Jessie J.

Agreed. But also, enjoy your life.

True. Not me. Putting pressure on a new mama.

It's so true. Mamas, get her.

No.

Get her.

Our first story.

Okay, this is huge news.

Tariq El Musa finally tells his version of the gun incident that ended his marriage to Christina hall. So Tariq el Musa has his memoirs coming out called Memoirs of Atarik.

What is it called? Actually?

Flip your life. How to find enough with flip. How to find opportunity in distress. In real estate, business, and life, of course, it had to be flip your life, but I just feel like it could have been memoirs of a flipper.

No, it really should have been memoirs of Ataric.

Memoirs of Ataric. He's telling his side of the story of the 2016 incident involving a gun that led to their divorce. So when the pair split became public in December, it was revealed that they'd actually secretly separated seven months earlier during an altercation in which Tariq fled into a nature area with a pistol after what he called a blow up fight with Christina. 2016.

Let me say why this has such historical significance to me. Obviously, during 2016, I was really involved in HGTV culture. Obviously, I came for Chip and Joe, stayed for Chip and Joe, and then, you know, some other couples. And Christina and Tarek were like this low budget west coast version. They had the worst style. Their show was horrible, but they were so basic. And it was interesting to watch them try to be Chip and Joe when they never were going to be Chip and Joe ever in their lives. They didn't have one creative bone in their body. All of their houses look the same, white subway tile. And they were just, like, this weird couple. And I just started to follow them and stuff. And then this story comes out that there's this crazy altercation at their house. Tariq has fled the home. They live in the mountains, or, like, there's a mountain range behind their house. He flees to the mountain with a gun. The kids and the wife are in the house. There's, like, a helicopter looking for him. It was the craziest story, and then nobody ever talked about it ever again.

And I was like, wait. They ended up getting divorced a few months later. But then the show went on as, like, co parenting, flipping and flapping. And it was just like, are we never going to talk about the gun and the mountains? And it has been years of waiting.

For an answer, and now we have one. And honestly, there's two sides to every story, and there always are. So Christina called 911, and police flooded the park as quickly as it devolved. It was over the incident and their marriage. In the book, he writes that after a heated argument, he, quote, went out to our backyard in Yorba Linda and hopped over the fence. On that much, the exes agree. But his explanation as to why differs. He says rather than fleeing, he was craving exercise and wanted to scout the trails near the house after having recently purchased some new mountain bikes. The neighboring Chino Hill State park is a habitat for wildlife, including mountain lions and bobcats so he brought along what he calls an insurance policy, a. 38 caliber pistol. He says he'd received his California concealed carry license a few weeks prior when a helicopter appeared overhead. He recalls he thought there was an emergency, possibly a wildfire, but he quickly realized it was for him. He said a police officer leaned out of the helicopter, pointing a rifle at me. Dust swirled around me from the spin of the blades, and a loudspeaker crackled.

Get your hands in the air. More police in off road vehicles swarmed. The officer in the helicopter miraculously recognized him. I heard an officer shout, Tarek. I screamed back, yes, I'm the guy from tv. What are you guys doing? They lowered their weapons.

I feel like the police officer probably got his name from the wife who called the police. Yeah. Not because he was a big HGTV fan.

Yeah. They recognized you because you were the person they were looking for.

They recognized you because you had a gun.

They recognized you from the wanted poster. They recognized you from the picture your wife sent of you.

Literally. Tarek is me. If I ever stormed into the mountains with a gun.

No, Tarek is you. If you're ever under arrest.

They recognize. Oh, but they take a mug shot. Paparazzi. Wait, I just want to say, I don't believe a word of Tarek's, like, out of Tarek's mouth. So convenient. First of all, you hop the fence like you only hop a fence when you're in the heat of a moment. Obviously something happened at the house. There was like, something escalated, and he probably wanted to blow off some team. Maybe he did bring the gun for wildlife. That's possible. But him acting like he was going to get exercise to look for some trails for his new mountain bike. But he also just happened to get into a fight with his wife. It just makes no sense. Sorry.

Well, maybe he was planning on looking for trails and he had, in the back of his mind, okay, I'll do that later. But then he got into a fight with his wife, and he was like.

It'S a good time to look for trails.

I just want to say, I like to believe people.

I don't.

And whether or not this is true, it's an amazing explanation, because that's so funny.

I completely disagree. It looks so stupid.

I feel like the word exercise is a little juvenile, vague. No, it's like, okay, maybe that word, it can mean a lot of things. If he had said just to blow off some steam, but to use the word blow off some steam and then have a gun on you is a little scary. So I'm sure the editor said, we'll say exercise, but if that's the case, he wanted to just get out, get into nature, blow off steam, really. And he brought his gun for the wildlife.

So I do want to say I believe that he brought his gun for the wildlife. Like, I actually do believe that California has, like, coyotes and shit. I believe that part of the story. I do think there are nuggets of truth. But him saying that he left the house for any other reason than the fact that he was angry, he got into a fight with his wife, and he just wanted to blow off steam is a lie. Who hops a sense.

Well, so he's saying he got into a fight with his wife and he was craving exercise due to maybe the fight with his wife. It's just a milder way of saying what you're saying.

It's a very convenient. It's a manipulation of language.

Yeah, but it's a good. Like, I have respect for this.

Where's memoirs of a Christina? I need to hear her side of the story. She's never spoken out. All she did was call the police because her husband stormed off, angry with a gun.

I feel like if this is wildly untrue, she'll find a way to tell the other side of the story. But it's the father of her children. They've moved past years ago. She's married twice over. Like, maybe she'll be like, Tarek also really went through it. After this, everybody was team Christina because Tarek's in the mountains with a gun, and he drank himself silly. He talks about the aftermath of the split as physical and emotional hell and writes of hiding out on his boat, drinking himself unconscious, and going through extreme withdrawal from the testosterone he'd been taking until friends stepped in to get him to a rehab facility. He said, in the wake of world testosterone withdrawal. Yeah, that comes up again when he talks about it. He said, I hold nothing against Christina. I understand why she did what she did. We had a lot of hard years through my sicknesses and my mental health struggles from the testosterone. So testosterone abuse is maybe. I didn't know you could abuse testosterone, where maybe he has clearly have to read the book to understand who struggles with testosterone. Like, this is just one. He probably references it throughout the book.

But I know men take testosterone to jack up. It's, like, a really good thing for their health. And as far as I know, it's not addictive. So I don't know how you can.

No, I have no idea. Or maybe he has naturally low levels of testosterone, so he has to take more. And then, I don't know. I have no idea. I'm not even going to start to think about or speculate on how you can deal with testosterone, but if you're having withdrawals.

Excuse me, what?

He had testosterone. Withdrawals. Leave me alone. Withdrawals. I'm a phonetic swirly.

It also is an extremely hard word to say.

Like, withdrawals is how I think on redheads. I said the word drawers.

No, we had this conversation on the toast, Jackie, about drawers. Like, about how it's like undies a cabinet, for sure.

So I just want to let you know, like, withdrawal falls under the category of drawers. It's redundant to make fun of me.

Okay.

It's redundant.

I can't lie. I don't feel, like an overwhelming sense of peace like I thought I might after finally getting a follow up after eight.

Kara could never give you peace, Turdy.

No. I do feel more confused than ever. I feel like, honestly, now I feel less at peace. I want to hear from Christina. But you're right. Christina and him are co parenting. There are some lines you don't cross. Let him tell his silly little story in his silly little memoir that no one's going to read.

And I think Christina probably holds on to the fact that people won't believe it. And I also feel like, for you, Turtie, this story is such a core part of the makeup of. So it's so true that no matter what he like, you can't let it go. Who would you be without this story?

No. I have so much riding on this particular story. So all that to say, I stand with Christina.

Yeah. And everyone did. But it's Tarek's turn to tell his story.

Tarek's basically saying, me, they should have.

Called the book Tarek's turn now.

We could have come up with such a better name than, what was it? Flip or flop?

Flip your life.

Yeah, I guess he's trying to be macho investor, man. It's trying to be like a business book. So it's not really memoir. It's more like it'll probably fall under the advice how to miscellaneous column, how.

To flip your right. So I think it should have be called Misca Musca. Tariq el Musa.

Oh, my God, I love perfection. I was thinking tariqing care of business. What do you think?

I think that's really strong.

I think so, too. Drop a comment. What would you have named Tarek del Musa's how to memoir?

And also, maybe you should have called it Musa vibes only.

Also, just, like, another important fact that I think we absolutely have to bring up here. Jackie and I have met Tariq el Musa at the LAX airport.

We did. He was in security. It was right after it was 2018, because we were traveling the globe.

Yeah. And I think we saw him with the duffel, and we said, do you think he has a gun in there?

Actually, it was 2017. It was the year of the breath. So it was right after Ty O-T-B.

So it was right after gungate.

Yeah. That's why we were extra excited.

Yeah.

Extra titillated.

I have a picture with him. I have to find it. I probably could.

You found it in the past.

Have I? I know I took it on Snapchat, and I think my caption was Tariq.

Search Tariq on your phone.

Oh, that's an amazing idea.

The phone search feature is getting incredibly smart.

Oh, my God. So funny. Of course.

I was looking for my meatball recipe last night. I searched ground chicken, and it didn't come up.

I have a million screenshots of various news stories about Tariq el Musa. I have an Uber where my driver's name was Tariq. Obviously, I thought that was funny.

It is funny.

Oh, I have a COVID test result that I screenshotted, and the physician's name was Dr. Tariq.

No.

Okay. I mean, it would take me a while. I have to go. What year?

You said it was 2017.

Oh, my phone only goes back to 2018.

Damn.

No, it doesn't. Sorry. I will find it. Wait here. Wait. We're nowhere in Nashville. I'll find it, and I'll post it on my instagram.

Oh, by the way, there's another article talking about his steroid addiction, which he started taking steroids after facing testicular and thyroid cancer. And the steroid that he was taking was testosterone. On top of that, he was taking HCG injections every day because he was told to. So, yeah, the addiction was to testosterone. Steroids.

Damn.

Yeah. That's why you got to read people's book.

It's so true. People are layered.

Some would say, are you ready for our next story?

You mean, am I ready to move on from a story I've waited six years, eight years for? Excuse me. No, I'm not. But I'll find a way. Yeah.

We can always come back dirty. It's your show.

Don't worry, I will.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story, then?

Yeah.

I don't know how to start the next story without asking you profusely.

Okay.

No, just like a segue in general.

Oh, my God.

Just say it's not about this particular story because this is a cause to celebrate. Kristen Yuschek lands an NFL deal after creating the viral jackets for Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes, Kristen Yuscheck has landed a licensing deal with the NFL. The representatives from the NFL confirmed to page six style that the organization has penned a licensing deal with the designer. As first reported by Sportico, Kristen, who's married to Kyle Yuschek, signed a contract with the football league for an undisclosed amount that will allow her to use NFL logos on her designs.

Okay, so I think a lot of people were hoping that this would happen. We spoke at length about how it would really be in the NFL's best interest to really capitalize on the moment they're currently having with young women and give young women an option for sports clothing that aren't fugly. Sorry, there's nothing out there for women that isn't truly embarrassing and heinous. And if there's one person who could do it, it's Kristen newscheck. But in order to legally sell and distribute official merch with NFL logos, team logos, team colors, you have to obtain a license. And the NFL is, like, notoriously stingy. I think there's like five companies in the world that have the license, and her getting one is huge. I wonder what she's going to do with it. I wonder if she's going to continue to make bespoke high end one off pieces if she's going to start, like, a direct to consumer retail company. I don't know, but this is huge.

This is huge and a huge step. One small step for Kristen Yuschek. One large step for. Yeah, but I would also like to see her have a line with NFL shop.

Yeah, I mean, that, I think would have been, like, the more obvious route for Kristen, specifically, like, long term. This is a better deal for Kristen.

That's true.

That's true.

Also, Zach told me, because I was talking to Zach about this last week, how, like, needs the license, whatever. He said that Aaron Andrews has a women's collection with the NFL shop and that is their women's. Women's thing. Like, oh, women. You want clothes like wear by Aaron Andrews. And I hadn't looked at the stuff until now because he was like, you should look at it. It's cute stuff.

Is it?

Some of it. Some stuff is cute. And you could tell they're inspired by the reworked type of apparel official women's.

Gear at the NFL shop.

They have, like, denim jackets with the logos on the back.

It covers what I'm seeing. I don't know if this is Erin Andrews. I'm just looking at women's. It's fucking ones with, like, the lace. No, I must be looking at the wrong thing. Oh, here by Erin Andrews. Oh, it's better.

Yeah, it's better. I'm sure. Unbelievably stylish claws where they actually couldn't do the same thing with Kristen because they do it with.

It's not. It's not amazing. I can't lie. It's better, but it's not great.

It's not amazing. But Erin Andrews isn't a clothing designer, right?

And Kristen Yuscheck is. So I don't know if she's going to start raising money, if she's going to start a whole ass company. But I think by next NFL season, she could be up and running. And given the momentum, this is like, she could really be at the beginning of starting, like, a billion dollar company for. It's a. It's like, kind of the most amazing thing ever. I wonder if her and Taylor have chatted, because as far as I know, Taylor didn't order. Brittany did. And Kristen, being the savy businesswoman that she is, threw in a jacket for Taylor.

Oh, you think now? The way I. I mean, you might actually.

And actually, I don't even know how I know that I might have just made that up.

What I think happened is Brittany's worn the things a few times. I'm sure Taylor was like, I like your coat. And Brittany was like, I'll get you one. My friend Kristen makes them. She would love to make you one.

I don't know why. I just assumed that Brittany ordered and she threw an extra one in the box.

Oh, that. It was Kristen's entrepreneurial spirit. That was like, here's one for Taylor.

Yeah, I really don't know where I saw that or if I just actually made that up.

I feel like Taylor complimented Brittany, and Brittany was like, oh, I'll get you one. That's classic friend stuff. Yeah, I do that for you all the time. If you like something, I'm like, turdy, I got you.

Oh, by the way, have I gotten, like, a bunch of boxes?

Not a bunch.

I have so much stuff arriving at your home.

Just the one stuff of the outfits.

But then. Have you opened any of it?

Yeah, it's in your room.

Okay, but I have something coming. Don't open it.

Who's it addressed to?

Me. So don't open any of my boxes.

Okay, just, like, tell Zach, because he just opens boxes willy nilly around here.

I have to tell Zach. You live with him. Can you tell him? And why would he listen to me, not you?

I'll forget, is the problem. That's the problem here.

But come to think of it like a toaster. Dm me. She was like, you have to get this for Jackie. And I did.

Oh, and it's addressed to you.

Yeah, but I actually.

I could just text him right now since we're, like, doing admin. Because I want you to show.

I want you to open it on air.

Oh, wow. Please.

It was, like, from an Instagram ad. I know. It's never showing up. Check order status. Sign in. Oh, my God. I totally got scammed. What is this website?

Oh, my God. So exciting. I ordered some kids clothes from a website that looked fake, but it wasn't, and they came and they're super cute.

Okay, they're making me log in, but I don't have. Oh, I totally got scammed. I have to call the bank.

And the toaster. Who scammed you? Maybe it was her company.

Her heart was in the right place.

You don't think she set up a fake website to trap you?

I don't.

That's good.

You want to hear something so funny? Always. So I need to check the dates. I guess I had totally forgotten, but in October of 2022, let me get you the exact date.

What are you going to wear for the Super bowl?

Like, pajamas?

I kind of need Kristen Yusuchek to make me something.

Oh, my God. I mean, it is a dream, but I feel like she's, like, kind of busy.

Oh, yeah. She's probably making outfits for all the wags for the big game. At least she has two weeks this time. Usually she only has one week, so.

October 6, 2023. I placed an order at the Taylor Swift merch shop for 1989.

Merch.

One week ago, I got an email that my order had shipped, and it still hasn't arrived.

But people know when. That's her thing.

I had completely forgotten.

She doesn't produce until after the orders are in.

It will be three months.

Yeah.

Well, that's.

It's good. Makes me feel good about if our merch ever takes a little bit.

Me too. Our merch takes, like, two to three.

Weeks, which it says on the site.

And sometimes I'm like, oh, I wish we could do it faster, obviously. But, like, Taylor's over here making me wait three months for, like, a $300 order. I'll survive.

It makes me feel better.

It makes me feel better too.

Are you ready for our next story?

Can I alert you some drama?

Ready? Always.

Okay, so it's so funny because we were just talking about this a few days ago about how TikTok and the nature of TikTok celebrities. So interesting, because every now and then, somebody blows up, and what you do. We were saying last week with those five minutes will set the tone for. And we said, alex Earl did it very well. And Emily Marico really felt like she didn't really capitalize on that. She kind of just wants to live a quiet life and be, like, a major content creator, which is great. She did her first businessy thing this week.

Farmers bag. Totes.

Farmers bag totes. Jockey market. That people are rioting. So it's an extra large canvas tote.

Okay.

It's $120, and it comes in two colorways. It doesn't really have any special features, storage cup holder or whatever. A lot of people are comparing it to the ll beanbag that everybody uses for their farmers market, which I think costs 1999. So people are rioting against Emily Rodrigo. Emily Rodrigo, what's her name? Emily Marico, saying, not only is this out of touch, she doesn't care about her fans because she's not, like, the type of creator. She doesn't respond back to people. They're like, you ignore your fans, and now you're making us pay $120. No one's making you do anything. Calm the fuck down. And this conversation that's being had now, people are like, well, why would people support Emily Marico when she doesn't interact with her followers ever? Like, she ignores her followers. That's what people are saying now. And this is all because she released a bag. And I just think it's, like, the craziest conversation being had. She really doesn't owe anyone, like, a response. She's just putting out her content. And again, she released a bag. Would I literally ever spend $120 on a bag that looks like that? No, but if you're a really big Emily Marico fan, it's worth to you, I guess.

And no one's forcing you to buy it. Just don't buy it.

Just don't buy it. It's nice looking. And by the way, both colors are sold out.

Well, yeah, but then people are like, well, it was sold out, so obviously we don't care. People are like, well, she could have just said it was sold out. Like, everyone's being really trolley to Emily Marico.

It's because they can't get to her and they're mad.

It's, by the way, they can't get to her. And I pray to God she doesn't respond like, just keep being your unbothered queen. Yeah.

And it's like, if you're not going to respond to everything up until this point, all the positive, whatever, don't respond now to the negative because then it will just breed more negativity because they're like, oh, that's how we get your attention. Yeah, just keep doing you. Emily Marico.

Yeah. Also, like, Emily Marico is not ll bean. She doesn't have access to the type of it's made in the USA. And yes, $120 is a lot, but I imagine they're not costing five cents to make in this economy. That's what things cost now, 120. Yes, she's probably making a nice little profit, but it's not like the way it used to be where like, a canvas bag cost ten cents. I know she's making in the USA, she's making ethically sourced queen.

So that, plus the economy, canvas.

Plus you got to think about the economy. That's what the economy.

Stone wash, ten ounce brush canvas. Twelve ounce duck canvas basin handles 100% cotton. Made in California, by the way.

That's also, like, with our merch, prices have went up in the last couple of years. And it's not because we're greedy. We want to make more money. That's literally like, everything's gone up.

Things cost more now.

Things cost more now.

So that sucks inflation.

I do miss the days when we could sell a sweatshirt for like $50.02.

Plus two equals sock around here.

Two plus two equals crew neck.

And the cost of a sod. It's staggering what it costs to make a boot these days.

It is. And you know what? War is hard.

War is hard. Life is war.

The Lebanon is a makamam.

The life is a war. Ain't that the truth?

Now I'm ready.

What number story three, and you better get ready.

Oh, my God.

I actually think if you have something to say, maybe you should say it now. And you should say it well because there are 100 million dollar podcast deals up on the table. Oh, go Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes's smart list podcast is going to SiriusXM for $100 million.

Now, let me tell you why this is so interesting, and I chose this story. One, I love to monitor the podcasting landscape. I really, really do, especially as it pertains to smartless. But two is that these once in a lifetime podcast deals. We hear about them all the time, obviously. Joe Rogan, $100 million, Spotify, 60 million caller. Daddy, they're once in a lifetime. You get them and you're set. This is Smartless's second big deal. They sold to Amazon three years ago for 80 million.

Between 60 and 80, it was a three year deal.

The three years are up. So now they got another deal for 100. Like when we were speaking of jealousy. Jealous.

Yeah. This is wild. It's also good to know the deals are still happening because I think there's a lot of discourse around will Spotify keep.

Well, Spotify is done with.

Those have released.

They've released armchair expert, they've released Emma Chamberlain. And it's not a performance. It's not because those podcasts are failures. It's because those deals accomplished what they needed to accomplish. They spent like a billion dollars over the course of a few years to get people listening to podcasts on Spotify. They accomplished that. Like, people are listening now. They don't need these. All these Spotify exclusive podcasts. They accomplish their goals.

Do you know that for a fact that that's.

No, that's what I think.

I just feel like companies don't operate like that, where they're like, this is enough for us. I feel like they're not done until they have 100% market share. So I feel like the investment versus the return on investment. The numbers didn't math.

Oh, so you feel like it was a performance thing?

Yeah. Not that the shows didn't do well enough. I'm sure they did really well, but just that. Not well enough to justify these numbers.

Interesting.

Also, Spotify had major layoffs last year. I don't think it's because they're doing so. We hit our goals.

Oh, that's actually a fire point.

And I feel like they had big layoffs in the podcast department.

I do feel like it's easy to look at certain shows and see if there was a payoff. I feel like Joe Rogan, that was their biggest investment, rumored to be $100 million. I think that probably is paying off in spades. Yeah.

And it's pretty visible on the charts. Sure, if he's the biggest show in the world, he's going to be the biggest show on Spotify when he's only on Spotify. But it's like 123-4567 910.

No, but also you're still hearing about the show in the zeitgeist. I do feel like when armchair expert went exclusively Spotify, I stopped hearing about the show, which isn't good.

Yeah, but I think that podcast is just so big. I don't know. I don't know enough about it or its listeners.

Now, let me say, back to smart lists. Am I jealous of the 100 million? You guys have no idea. However, am I jealous that we started a podcast with two people and not three, so that if one day we got a major payday, we have to split it three ways? Because let's say now they're all getting 33 million. They all live in California. Very high tax. They're getting 15. That's insane.

And that's over three years. This is a three year deal. So 5 million a year.

Okay.

No money.

I'm not jealous. Take it back. No, I'm cracking up. Yeah. Okay.

Poor. It's giving poor party.

It's giving poverty line.

That's how you can make yourself feel better. But it says to me, Turdy, we're in the right industry. Keep working hard.

Yes, of course. But now I just. Okay, now I'm, like, comparing.

There's money in podcasting, and that's like.

Look, Joe Rogan got the same deal, 100 million. He keeps it all for himself. That's insane.

No, and I think there's elements to Joe Rogan's deal that people don't know because we don't know how long his deal is for. He does still have ads on his show. It's way more than 100 million.

I agree.

I agree.

But it's just interesting.

Also, Joe Rogan doesn't seem like the sort of girly who's like, oh, here, variety. Here are all the deal points of my think. No. You know, they just worked with information they could get, but they don't have all the information.

That's actually a really good point. I always find it really interesting when people do big deals, when you don't find out how much the money is, I think that's, a, so much smarter, like, who's trying to get robbed, and b, it's nobody's business, and c, it's usually because it's a lot more than people are speculating, because it's kind of gauche to share.

Yeah, I agree.

The deals where you don't know, or it's, like, rumored, even that old Amazon smart list deal between 60 and 80, like, when there's a vagueness to it. Fascinating.

Yeah.

And when the number is outright, 100 million, like the Sirius XM deal, that's because everybody approved it. We want everyone to know it's 100.

Yeah.

It's your choice to keep that number. Private or not. If it's public, it's because the talent. The smartest guys wanted you to know.

Yeah, I guess it's almost like they.

Were talking to us directly.

Oh, yeah. It's like. Oh, you said smart list is over party.

We'll show you.

100 mil is not over party.

Yeah, 100 mil. You say 100 mil, I hear five.

Totally. And you assume that they split it third?

Yes. Okay. I was going to ask you that question, too, but it's equal work. They each pick guests, they each interview. Jason is definitely more like the captain of the ship, but that's.

No, that's just like, a personality thing.

Yep. I think it would be insane if they weren't.

It would be insane. And maybe, like, trouble at smart list.

Yeah. And I think their proof is in the pudding. They've been this trio for many, many years, and they're still having that success. And you really could not have stable success like that if there was an imbalance in the dynamics.

Totally.

I'm so happy for them.

So, the deal keeps the podcast widely available, but brings perks to SiriusXM subscribers and could possibly encourage more to join SiriusXM. Like, you got special shit over there.

Sirius is now entering the podcasting game. A little late, but as the biggest radio company on the planet, they should have been doing this a lot sooner, but now they have, like, a full ass podcast, like team, department, et cetera.

Yeah, they also have other podcasts, such just Jack and Will. Bad dates and owned. I think they're part of the smartless world.

Oh, smartless has other podcasts. Or SiriusXM does.

Oh, SiriusXM has a million podcasts.

Yeah, it's me, Tinks.

Let me see what this is. Just Jack and Will. Who's Jack? Me, Jack.

Just Jack and Claude.

Just Jack and Will with Sean Hayes and Eric McCormick. Oh, I guess that's their characters.

Spinoff.

Spinoff. Yeah. So the smart list world. It's SnN.

It's giving good guys, probably podcast. Yeah.

Smart list news Network, SnN. Anyways, congrats, grads. It's always nice to see people doing big things in the world of podcasting, and that's just titillating news.

It is titillating news, and we need.

To work smarter, turdy.

We need to work smarter.

Yeah. So, feeling motivated. Hashtag motivated.

Hashtag hustle.

Hashtag the grind never sleeps, ever. Hashtag smartless is not over party.

We spoke. The grind may never sleep, but I do.

Yeah. Maybe we'd be more successful if we could get up earlier, actually, maybe we would if we got this podcast out at 08:00 a.m. Should we, should we try it one day and see if our numbers are like. I like that idea. We'd have to try for like at least a week, I think.

Yeah, let's do it. I hate waking up early.

Like, what time do we record then? 06:00 a.m. That's ungodly. Maybe.

I agree.

Actually, six is better for me.

Well, let's discuss offline.

We're working smarter, not harder. We're working harder.

We're still people. We could, by the way, by the.

Way, by the way, night before.

Yeah. If I had a studio in my house like you did, it would be much easier. But I could come here at night.

Okay, let me see what time all these stories went live. So tar gal muso was 07:00 a.m.. Today. We would have missed it.

That's the thing. Like news comes out at like five in the morning. Kristen Today show GMA.

Kristen Ushek we would have had smart list came out yesterday or Monday. Late old news. This next story came out this morning.

Okay, but think about nights like Sunday night. We were up, what, till eleven watching football. What we record at midnight?

Maybe not on Sundays, right.

We'll talk about it offline.

Yeah. Okay. Let's get into the rest of the.

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That's what I did last night. I made meatballs and I had my Taylor Farms salad. Tailored farms.

I had my Travis farm salad.

Tailored farms. Okay, speaking of tailored, you guys, things are. There's drama, is there like, sort of. Universal Music looks set to take all of its songs off of TikTok after a breakdown in talks over the social media site's licensing agreement. In an open letter, the group accused TikTok of bullying, adding that they only wanted to pay a fraction of the rate offered by other platforms for the catalog of millions of songs. However, the chinese owned social media platform called this a false narrative. So while universal claims a social media platform with more than 1 billion users accounts for just 1% of their revenue, the move will result in many of TikTok's users favorite artists and sounds being removed. So seven out of the ten top ten artists of the year are with Universal, and their music would be coming off of TikTok, including Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Drake, the Weeknd, Bad Bunny, everyone, Lana del Rey.

Now TikTok. As of this morning, I believe all of universal music groups music is off. Like, it's fully started. TikTok released, like, a shady little statement. Being like, we've managed to come to deals with every other record label. I don't know why UMG is being difficult. UMG is the biggest. If I had to take a side, I'd probably side with the artist. I do understand TikTok saying TikTok is a promotional tool, so the value of that is worth something, in addition to us paying you, like, a streaming licensing fee. But at the end of the day, this is a billion dollar company, TikTok, using copyrighted music, and you have to pay. That's the law.

And also, if TikTok didn't have access to all of this music, the app would be crap.

It's true.

Actually, they need the music too. And what makes TikTok so awesome is that you can use any sound. And it started with dancing and lip syncing.

So true.

Without music, what is TikTok?

I know. And without TikTok, how are people going to promote music? Like, for real?

Reels.

Reels.

Come on over, shorts.

This is, I feel, an avoidable thing. They really need to figure this out. This is bad for everyone. It's bad for TikTok, and it's bad for the artists at UMG.

Yeah, but the artist, I think UMG and the artists will be okay, and I think TikTok will be okay. And maybe TikTok changes now, and maybe we do get more unknowns. Maybe it winds up being good for smaller artists who aren't able.

This story, if I was an independent artist, I'm jumping for, like, it obviously creates more opportunity for somebody who's not locked into a deal like this. But the way the app exists now, it's like they both need each other. Universal Music group. They need TikTok. The artists, even the big ones, like, you need TikTok. It's a part of the ecosystem now, and TikTok needs that music.

Who needs who more?

I think UMG needs TikTok more.

I think TikTok needs more.

Oh, okay.

Because there are, like, other promotional. They could go back to the old ways, know of doing it. There are other social media platforms who are willing to play ball.

Yeah.

And if it's all the music, I.

Do want to say, though, and I would be very curious if there was some data released. TikTok in the last month or two has really kind of changed their mo. They're becoming, like, a shopping platform, and all of the content, there's a new tab. They're really boosting videos that are selling products because you can have a shop on TikTok, you can sell other people's. It's like, almost like an affiliate. You make commission, and it's really fucking annoying. It's insanely annoying. All the content I get served now. I had to block the hashtag, hashtag TikTok shop because every video was trying to sell me ramen noodles. Like, insane annoying. And people are really annoyed about it because that's not what people come to TikTok for. And it's like a big change that hasn't ended up being good. It's, like, annoying. And between that and now losing a huge music provider, the app, I feel like, is really changing in a bad way.

I think that's good.

I think it's good, too. TikTok had too much of a chokehold on the culture for a while, to our detriment.

To the detriment of society. Of course, people are glued to their phones and stuff, but just the things that have come out about, the things that platforms know and the anti semitism and horrible. The Osama bin Laden, like, okay, yeah, maybe we should take a step back from TikTok if that's where it's led us. It's very, I think the app self destructing. Love that for them.

I kind of like. I love the app more than anything, but I agree.

Come on.

To real stir to loop if you love something set.

Afraid. Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? That's going to lead into our tv recap, which is really just a tv recap.

Yeah.

Lala Kent thought Rachel Levis, aka Raquel, was going to go bag groceries and wouldn't have reached out if she had a crystal ball. So we saw last night on Real Housewives of Vanderbump rules.

That's pretty much what the show's turned into.

Yeah. Lala reaches out to Raquel because she feels bad after what she saw on the season. But then Lala went on watch what happens live last night looking unbelievable. Yeah, I couldn't get enough of her face and her hair.

I agree. Her face looked amazing.

And her hair, the style.

She basically said she reached out to Raquel because she felt bad, but then Raquel ended up going on Bethany's podcast and saying all these things and then launching her own podcast where Raquel, I mean, Lala thought this was going to be the end of Raquel's public life, and so she wanted to wish her well and just make sure she was okay, but it turned out that wasn't the case, so she kind of regretted that whole thing anyway.

Yeah. And think we all thought that after she went to the mental health facility that she would go back to her hometown and be Rachel and lead a life outside of the public eye, because clearly the limelight and this wasn't good lifestyle was not good for, and it led her to make really poor. Yeah.

I have a lot of thoughts on the Vanderbump roles episode. I do feel like beginning filming before Sandoval returns from his reality tv show competition. Filming was an enormous mistake because say what you want about him, the show is beyond uninteresting without him, I didn't need an episode without him. To be honest, there really wasn't much to even recap. But I do wonder because this thought did cross my mind. And I'm curious what your thoughts are. Did you feel like Lala reaching out to, you know, she said Raquel was on her heart and she just wants to reach out and check in. Do you feel like that was genuine or that know, Lala kind of seeing after the Vanderpump rules reunion, a lot of the conversation and the public opinions kind of turned, being like, damn, have we taken this too far? Sounds like Raquel maybe could do something dangerous. Do you feel like that? Was Lala trying to mitigate any sort of criticism or she genuinely felt that way? Because I really was not seeing the comparison between Lala's situation and Raquel's situation.

I understood the comparison. But even if it was Lala being swayed by the public opinion, maybe it took the public being like, whoa. For her to be like, whoa. And she doesn't seem like the type of person who does things so that she could be America's sweetheart and the fan favorite, because she doesn't do those things. She doesn't do anything or say anything that she doesn't believe. So even if that's what influenced her coming to this decision, I don't think it was in any inauthentic way. And maybe it was just in a positive way. Sometimes it takes seeing something from the outside. But I do think that in that moment where she was like, I only have Tom, and if I turn against Tom, I have no one. I think that there was something that she related to in Raquel that she hadn't experienced up until that point. And when she described it, I could understand when she's like, I know that feeling.

Okay, let me ask you another question. Who's your least favorite person on this show?

Well, it's Tom Sandoval.

Well, honestly, he's not even my least favorite. Like, he's at least entertaining.

No, I can't listen to him speak. It's upsetting to me. Even before when he's doing the most and the most extra.

Oh, by the way, before, like, I could not now. It's like fun to watch someone self destruct and be so delusional and narcissistic. For me, it's Tom Schwartz. I can't stand this man. I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's cute. I don't think anything he does is kitschy. Him being like, hey, Ariana, welcome to like, I hate this. Just like, I want him off the. Like, that's how much I hate.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like he never took accountability for himself and just never came out of Santa Val's shadow. And now he's like, no, I'm not Santa. Don't put me in a shadow. It's like, you're the one who stayed there. You're the one who tied yourself to him and made every decision and let your marriage go to shit because of him. And now you don't want to be associated with him. No.

And I think a lot of people are like, damn, Katie's so mean to Schwartz, but I understand her on a deep, like, imagine being married to that and then finally being free and getting to say everything you've ever felt.

Yeah. And now he sees what you've been trying to say for years and it's like, go away, loser.

Completely agree.

And it's only because things turned out so bad for you. It's not like you came to this realization on your own.

On your own.

And it's like even when Tom was doing the things that have gotten him, Tom Sandoval, when he was doing the things that have gotten him canceled, for lack of a better word, Tom Schwartz knew about them and he aided and abetted. It's not like the wool was pulled over his eyes and the friend that he thought he was wasn't who he was. He knew.

I also do find the dynamics of the female relationship so interesting because they're.

All close, yet they all have underlying tension. No.

And for those four, I feel like for so long, Ariana and Sheena were best friends. And also Lala and Ariana were so close, they literally had an affair. So when they sat at the table and lala was like, I feel know so weird. I feel like you don't like me. And then when they were basically saying it's Katie and Ariana and then Sheena and Lala, I was shocked.

But no, and then it's also Sheena and Katie and. And, no, I'm sorry. It's also Lala and Katie have a best friendship and Sheena and Ariana, those are the closer ties. And then secondary.

No, I feel like they were saying primary was Katie and Ariana. No, they're not live together and are such close mom friends. I feel like the tightest in that group right now is actually Sheena and Lala right now.

Yes, but they've also had issues, remember, with the. Yeah, lala's very close with Sheena and Katie and Brock and Sheena's very close with Ariana, therefore they're all close. But there are these. It's a complicated two strains of Katie and Sheena who kind of beef, and lala and Ariana who kind of beef.

Which I didn't know.

Yeah, but it's all there. Like last season even. There are like high highs and low lows with them.

Yeah, it was like kind of a boring episode. I don't even know what to recap.

Yeah, it was just sort of like setting the table for the season. It was nice to see everyone, but I really feel like the way scandoval, we were so caught up in it. I have completely come down from it and it's kind of weird to watch some of the stuff. And what I found most fascinating is Ariana said that Tom wanted to buy her out of the house, but she doesn't feel like she should have to move. What?

I didn't know that either. Oh. And I wanted to, like, I have sympathy for their living situation being not ideal, but their bedrooms were unacceptable. I'm sorry, what? Grown people can't live like that.

Their bedrooms were unacceptable. The texting through the assistant. But Tom saying that he wants to buy her out. Kind of everything.

I thought the problem was that he was refusing to buy her out and refusing to sell the house, leaving her no option.

Her only option would be to sell half of the house. A new roommate for Tom.

Right.

Which is like, not a real thing.

Yeah.

If he wants to buy out of the house, why wouldn't she leave?

Why would she want to stay there? I mean, I guess it is a good investment. That's the thing. They bought it a while ago and the valley is so popping and they're actually really responsible for a lot of the valley village becoming, like, cool, a young area. Honestly, actually, I kind of feel her. Why should I be rid of this decent investment that I worked hard for many years ago? I actually kind of feel so he.

Should buy her out at the price that it's worth now.

Oh, I guess.

And to have your life.

She doesn't want it.

Instead to be living with the person you hate most on the planet.

Yeah. And I guess, like, priceless. Really want to stay there because it's filled with such bad memories.

Filled with bad memories. You were staying there where you were in a couple and you were settling down and now that's not even your life anymore. Why would you want to be there? I don't know. As long as he would pay minimum.

What she put into it.

Worth minimum. No. And what it's worth now. Yes, we could argue over that. They could probably reach an agreement on a price. You couldn't put a price on the freedom.

Yeah.

Get me out of here.

I am looking forward to him coming back. Like, I'm sorry. He is the most interesting person in the show right now.

And I did think this was going to lead to Raquel coming back. That Lala sending the text, that was my only suspicion was like, lala was sending this text because she's like, oh, this show's boring. We need Raquel back.

They need something.

Yeah, but Raquel's not coming back. She didn't answer the message.

Yeah. And I don't think that she should, honestly. Well, if she's going to live a.

Life in the public and do a podcast, she should be on the accompanying reality show.

That's fair. But I'm not really desperate to hear or see from her. To me, Tom is more interesting. He's so delusional. He's insane. It's almost like we've always said he's like this horrible narcissist, but what has happened to him in the last year is jaw dropping, honestly. And to me, he's the most interesting person in the world.

Right?

Like, everything he says is insanely stupid, insanely wrong. He's the biggest narcissist on the planet. It's fascinating to watch.

Yeah. Let's see how he's going to play it.

Right. Oh, my God. Long episode today.

Yeah, it's late.

Oh, my God. We got to get this episode up. If only we woke up at 06:00 a.m. You guys. Thank you so much for listening to the toast and Monday morning show where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available to podcast anywhere podcast can be found. So Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, public radio, iheartradiocast box. All the places, wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the Chelsea if I starve you about a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are, hope you guys have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you. Bye.