Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Friday, a celebración, a great, gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and smart day. Exactly.

Happy Friday, everyone. We did it. We made it not only to the end of the week, but to the weekend of the year. Oh, my God.

It's the party of the month, not the party of the year.

Super Bowl weekend, Jackson Turd Reunited Weekend.

That's so true. It's like, I can't even be excited about what I'm going through.

I know you're going through a lot, personally, today.

And today was supposed to be such an exciting day. Like, the last toast before I go and see Jack, I was talking yesterday, so much on the horizon. And then in just a minute, your life can change.

So Why don't you share with everyone what you're going through?

And you know what? I didn't even want to talk about it because I feel like it reflects poorly on me.

It does. I didn't know if you were going to talk about it, honestly.

Oh my God, so should I not?

No, you have to now. And now we've hyped it up. So when you actually say it, people will Oh, that's it.

Okay. I just feel like it's not representative of who I am or the way I choose to live my life.

By the way, we just need to clip this as a click bait where we're like, Claudia needs to share. It reflects poorly on me.

Okay.

And be super click baity.

Yeah, I like that. Okay, so let me start again. I don't feel like what I'm about to share is really representative of who I am or my family's values or how we choose to live our life. It's just something that happened to me, and I was hesitant to share it because people are going to have judgments. They're going to hear what I have to say and be like, Oh, you're that type of person. I just want to clear the air before I say what it is. Is that this happened to me. I did not attract this- You did not seek it out. This chaos. I certainly did not seek it out. Having said that, last night, I was home alone. Ben was at the Nicky with Craig Conover. I- Settle flex. Yeah. I mean, I'm still going to be me, Jackie. They can't take that away from you. I'm laying in bed eating taco meat and watching TV. I'm a very hyper paranoid. I'm very sensitive to movement and light. I always think there's a- You're aware of your surroundings. I always think there's a murderer, and I saw something move in the corner of my eye, which happens to me all the time.

I just followed my line of sight, and I saw a mouse. There was a domestic terrorist in my home, a mouse, a brown one, and I froze.

Freeze.

I think I don't even remember. It's like I blacked out. I got up on the bed and was screaming.

I can't even imagine.

Screaming. In that moment, Lauren Elizabeth decides to FaceTime me. I'm like, not now, bitch. I just froze. He disappeared under my radiator, went on with his stay.

As mice do.

I ran downstairs, literally naked. I wasn't wearing pants. I couldn't go into the closet.

There could have been another mouse in there. An army of mice. You fled the premises.

Of course, I fled the premises. My building was amazing. Exterminator is there right now.

Was there a therapist on staff?

No, no. Therapist? I needed, seriously, a I did not sleep a wink. I did not go back into my apartment until Ben got home.

Of course.

I was up all night, literally having night sweats. I was in a full fit of sweats. I was so paranoid about the blanket touching the floor because then that would give the mouse something to climb up to. A ladder. And literally just climb into my mouth at that point. Nobody likes rodents. Everybody has an aversion to them. But My level is 100 out of 10. This is the worst possible thing that could have happened to me, especially because yesterday... It's so funny how God works. I posted yesterday on Patreon, my Book Club blog, and they're loving it. People are obsessed with my blog. If you want to see my Book Club, I sneak peeks in my apartment. I was reading through the comments, and somebody was just left such a sweet comment. I think I was literally reading it as I saw the mouse. It was like, Claudia, you look so happy in your I'm so happy for you. You've done such a great job. You look so at peace. And I was like, I am at peace. Mouse.

Enter Mouse. And it was not Mickey Mouse.

No. And I happened to have the sighting of the mouse, which I know he's not there anymore. He went on with his day into another part of my house. But the particular area where I found him, it's an area I spend a lot of time, and it's right next to my vanity, where I podcast from home, where I obviously do my makeup, do my hair. I spend a lot of time there every day. It felt personal, for sure.

Yeah.

But the exterminator, who is fabulous, fabulous, Ralph. I love this guy. He came to this morning so quick. This was, by the 8:00 last night. It's very impressive to get 8:00 mouse sighting, 10:00 exterminator. That's 14 hours. That's pretty good. He was like, I do this building. I was looking through my paperwork, and he's like, You've never been on my list. I'm like, Well, I just moved in here. He's like, Oh, so I guess the previous tenants didn't have an exterminator. It's free with the building. I'm like, What the fuck are you doing?

Maybe they like a little mouse in their day.

He's giving my apartment the full workup. I said, I don't have any babies around. I don't have any pets around. I want it all.

Nuclear.

Fumigate the fuck out of this place, Ralph. Chernobyl.

There should be a package plan at the exterminator. Yeah. Chernobyl.

Yeah, no. I just want to say I'm all about Clean living, I'm very much getting on that page with you. One thing that I will personally never allow cleanliness. I don't want a clean exterminator. I don't want an organic exterminator. I want a radioactive exterminator.

Yeah, especially when it's M-O-U-S-E.

Well, that's the other thing. It's like, living in New York, you're expected to deal with certain things. Unfortunately, one of the more common things is water bugs, roaches, cockroaches. In my time, I have seen roaches in my building living in my apartment. To me, they're more manageable.

Yeah, they are. It's a shock, and it's a horror.

It's shocking. Yeah. People are going to be like, Wow, you guys are being so nonchalant about it. It's just a part of the daily fabric of living in New York. It is.

No, but it's a shock and a horror that we can manage.

1,000 %. A mouse. A mouse has four legs. A mouse is like Theo. You have a pet. A mouse It's just can be domesticated. It's insane.

Yeah. No, that is a different threat.

A different threat.

But with everything, we have to be grateful that it wasn't an R-R-T.

Yeah, it was very small. I just feel like that lady was lying when she said, The rats don't run this town. We do. No, I experienced firsthand last night.

She was going to move out, give up her apartment, squatters rights to the mess.

Jackie, move out. I'm burning the building to the ground. I'm going to pull the fire alarm and get everybody out because I'm so upset.

It's a perfect time for you to be leaving the state.

Oh, well, let me just say how absolutely thrilled I am that he's fumigating the fuck out of my apartment. I want traps everywhere. I leave tomorrow for three weeks. I'm not checking the traps. I'm going to have to have the exterminator come back, hopefully, while I'm gone. I have the utmost confidence in Ralph. He was giving me really good vibes. Yeah. It's upsetting that this had to happen to me. And of course, how this now reflects upon me. People are like, Well, you're disgusting. Do you leave crumbs? Please. Oh, my God. Have you met me? I'm the sweeper. I have the cleanest apartment this side of the East River. Please. But it reflects poorly on me. Now people are like, Oh, that's the mouse girl.

That's the mouse girl.

Right. Like, writer girl? No. Mousy girl.

Yikes.

I had to sleep with the sound machine on so loud because if I hear that, I will seriously jump off my balcony.

For real. But one more sleep until you're coming here.

And when was the last time your home has been exterminated?

Oh, the pest guy was here yesterday. Good. We're super on top of the pest because there's a lot of threats in Florida, and it's different sorts of threats. Different. I mean, there was that one night, I saw two palmetto in my house, and I didn't know yet that palmetto were different from cockroach. It's still not great, but not a roach. And we fled in the middle of the night to Olivia's house.

Did you sleep there?

Yeah.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Because I saw- How nice that you have that.

But I saw two in one night. I'm sorry, that's too many. Then also, you get geckos in the house and stuff like that. But that's just like, there's really no way around things like that. Yeah, I don't know.

A gecko, to me, is better than a mouse. Geckos feel clean.

No, I see them, I don't want to say all the time, but it happens, and I call Zack, and then I move on with my day. I don't let it get me down. Gecko can't get me down.

Yeah, and geckos, and I know they say this about all animals. They're like, The The pests are more afraid of you than you are of it. Well, the pest has obviously not meant me because nobody's more afraid of anything than I am of this pest. I feel like geckos actually are really afraid of you. They're so freaking.

Yeah, they don't even move. They're like, How did I get here? How do I get out?

No, you're like, Is this Is Echo dead or just frozen?

Classic gecko. Classic gecko. So yes, of course, I have my own struggles.

You also do... You do have snakes.

Oh, yeah.

I've heard some stories. I'm not saying you have a snake.

No, but I've heard from neighbors Of snake sightings.

That's worse than a mouse.

I mean, if I saw a snake in my house-What would you do? Move. Yeah. They found us. They found you. We're not safe.

I do have an update on 5Kgate, and then I actually forgot to tell you. Okay. While Bert, yes, never responded to me with a formal cordial invitation, his team has been in touch with my team. I just spoke to them yesterday. They're like, Listen, we're in touch with team Bert. There is a 5K.

Great. You know what we could also do? Is listen to their show and find out about these things.

I'm glad you brought that up because obviously it would clear up a lot of confusion if we just did the work. But one, I'm not one for doing work, especially after what I've just been through with the mouse. And two, it's so much more fun to keep guessing.

A hundred %.

Like, please.

And it's like, Are they listening to the toast? If not, I don't I know that it's very tip for tat around here. We are still petty queens.

No, and this is a place of business. Yeah.

But I guess if we're really hard up for wanting to know 5K or no 5K, should we start training? We could just listen to their show because people are saying, No, guys, there is a 5K. Louis CK is coming. Joe Rogan's coming. That's scary. It's happening.

Louis CK is coming. Is Louis CK's penis coming?

You know it.

Because I want the full- You know it. I want the full experience. I I want it all. I want it all.

I want it, I want it, I want it. The Fame and the Fortune. I want it all. I want it all. Fame and fortune headed your way.

Yeah. Also, I don't know if you saw Joe Rogan is officially back on the charts. I saw he posted. Let's check our standing. I know. I just want to say, I feel like we really did make the most of being number two.

Claudia, we should be... Oh, he's Top Show. Okay. What's going on in episodes? They're not up yet. The episodes haven't episoded yet.

Okay, so Joe Rogan is the top comedy show. We are number four. That's okay.

We're number four when he's- When he's number one.

Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. Not bad.

We should be so proud, Dirty.

No, we should. Honestly, and I do feel good about the fact that we knew he was going to come back at some point. We really enjoyed his time off, and I feel like we made the most of it. We made so much content about it. We talked about it all the time. We did what we could with what we had.

And now he's back, rising. I feel like it's like, bring it on. You I have to beat the best in order to be the best.

It's so true. It wasn't even real.

No, it wasn't. But the screenshots were nice, and we'll always have the screenshots.

Yeah, and the screenshots don't provide context, which is good. Yeah, totally. We've got a great show. It's Friday, so we're just going to ease you all into the weekend. We also have our very famous Friday segment, Queeny and Weeny of the Week, which will be awarded at the end of the show. So stay tuned for that.

Stay tuned for that. Without further ado, let's get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Laura.

You're welcome. Our first story.

Today's stories are very sports Super Bowl-heavy because that's what's news. And the wags are in Vegas. Not that that's even a story, but just Super Bowl is in motion.

No, for sure. I feel like actually we haven't even spoken about it that much, given the fact that It's here.

It's imminent. It's upon us. It's Super Bowl.

They've all been in Vegas for days.

It's Erev Super Bowl.

It's Erev Super Bowl.

That's a cute title.

It is. Erev means Eve in Hebrew. Yeah. So it's just like- So you would say Erev Christmas.

Yeah, exactly. Except not in Hebrew because...

Why? Jesus was a Jew.

Yeah. So Jesus would say that it was Ere of Christmas.

And the followers of Jesus, they fuck with the Old Testament. So you actually might say Ere of Christmas.

You might. I guess Jesus would have said Ere of my birthday.

Ere of Yom Huladet. That's what he would say.

Ere of yom huladet is what Jesus would say.

Honestly, I feel like we don't talk enough Hebrew on this on this show.

But the better tune is, Yom Huladet Samehach.

It's just so basic. I love how in Israel-Yom hul edet sameah. Do you think Stevie White there ever recorded that version?

Maybe.

Yom who led it.

Yom who led it. I love when people dance as if there's an imaginary ball.

I didn't know that that's how we were describing it.

That's how I'm trying to describe it to you. You mean this?

Yeah, like when they flip it up. Yeah, that's called the whoa. It's like, whoa, whoa. Where'd that ball go?

There it is.

Something like that.

Yom who led it, Sam.

Love that.

Dirty. Go long.

Whoa.

That's going to look sick on the YouTube.

Sick. Sick in a clip, maybe.

Maybe. Anyways, era of Super Bowl, the news is newsing. Let's start with the big news of my day yesterday. Something that really wowed me.

I don't know.

Brittany Mahomes.

Oh, yeah.

In Sports Illustrated. Brittany Mahomes, Mama of Two made her Sports Illustrated swimsuit debut as a member of the rookie class for 2024, rocking a series of all red looks in honor of her husband, Patrick Mahomes, his Kansas City Chiefs. The first photos were released on Friday. So photos were released, plus a little sizzle, real, and damn, Brittany Mahomes.

I was shocked. First of all, mom of two with that bod, it ain't right.

It ain't right. It's so right.

And what's so... It's so right. Sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect.

No, it's so right that it ain't right.

Right. I had so many thoughts. First of all, the body was just like, it was insane to me. I just was genuinely shocked by it. Also, it made me giggle because I feel like last week it was in the news a lot, this picture of Patrick Mahomes went viral. Has a dad bod, and he's like, One of the greatest athletes of our time. That's what's funny about football. It's like, they're not these perfect chiseled. They're big guys, and a lot of them are a little overweight, too, and they don't look like what you would think a professional athlete looks like. He was just He was on the news, and he made a whole joke about how his dad bods actually underneath his belly pouch. It was funny. His wife, who's not an athlete, literally has one of the most insane bodies I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, that is funny in light of Patrick. But Brittany on her own. I thought it was cute that she was in Sports Illustrated because she is very of the moment, and she's obviously major in the sports world. I was ready to look upon these photos, and I was just... Shocked. Taken aback. They were beautiful. I also love the way that she was styled. I thought her poses were Very modelsque for just a woman going about- Her glam. Glam. She owned it. I liked the looks. I liked the red. I liked the entire thing. I was so surprised by how much I was into this.

No, I agree. Sports Illustrated is amazing, and I feel like they do a lot of really iconic photosheets, but at some point, it feels a little monotonous. It's just on a beach, blue ocean, wet hair, bikini. It's a formula at this point, and it works to them. For someone to look so different than the other photos and really stand out, it was just from top to bottom, styling, glam, everything, just gorgeous.

Gorgeous. This is an absolute slay for her. I saw headlines responding to backlash. I don't even want to know what the backlash is. I haven't seen anything. To me, this is nothing but totally positive.

Agreed 1,000%. I do love, though, that the men who buy these magazines are the men who are like, Brittany Mahomes sucks. She's speaking their language now and in their magazine, and it definitely feels like a big fart in their face.

When people are against Brittany Mahomes, she has a lot of haters. Is it more men than women?

Yes. It's the football people.

I feel like we talked, but what is their beef?

The beef started with the spraying of the champagne.

From the men, the men were upset about spraying champagne.

Well, the video had went viral, and then it was like, Oh, look at her. She's in a suite, and it's really cold outside, and she's pouring cold water on people. It had come out people who were there being like, They asked. They said, Brittany, spray us. She did literally nothing wrong. But that's just what offset people just being put off by some of her behaviors because she's very supportive. She's not a quiet woman. This is her plate.

This is her plate.

She's really proud of her husband. I think she definitely feels, and I would too, this is their success. They've been together since college. They've been on this journey together. He's able to do what he does because she was a college athlete. She put her things on the back burner. She started the family. They're a true partnership. She takes equal excitement and support in their winnings. If he wins a Super Bowl, they win the Super Bowl. Love that. It's like a real family. People just don't like it.

Hater's going to hate.

No, and I just love, love, love.

Hater's going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

Who's a Real Hot Spouse tagline? When is that? Hater's going to hate, but I just love, love, love. Teresa? Yeah. It's so dumb. It could only be Teresa. It's so bad. Hater's going to... Because who is more hateful than Teresa I'm like, hate us, going to hate, but I just love, love, love, while I physically assault people. Please.

Factual. No lies detected.

We didn't talk about it, and I didn't choose it as a story, but people are gagged over this photo of Jen Shah and Theranos being spotted in prison.

Yeah. People are gagged.

Oh.

They're gooped and gagged.

I saw it. They're gooped and gagged. I never watched any Theranos content. I know she stole blood or whatever, but I- Stole or stole, did you say? I don't know. Because she did both. I said stole. She did both. I don't really know her journey, and I don't care to. She doesn't do it for me.

She doesn't do it for me. I know her journey. I'm surprised these two get along. I feel like the commonality must be the Fame factor because on a personality level, I feel like they would hate each other.

No, for sure. One is so serious.

So serious.

And one is so not. Dead. She's bloody serious. She's bloody, bloody serious.

And Jen, not so serious.

Right. But I guess it must be nice to have someone in prison who can relate on a very different but small level. Why? Jen just can't talk to just any endmate.

Yeah. And they can team up when the paparazzi come. They could be like, We got each other. I've got someone to lean on. I'm not going through this alone.

I did feel like it was crazy to get paparazzi pics from prison. I feel like, Isn't prison of all Is it supposed to be secure?

Yeah. Do they just wait all day?

For recreational time?

Or does Jen, maybe she uses her phone call to call the pap, say, I'll be outside in the yard with Theranos, come through 11:00 AM.

Actually, that's not a bad call. It's like Sharif is working with a publicist and finding her schedule.

That's not a bad call. She probably made money from that.

Yeah, she probably sold the photo.

Yeah, from inside. Love.

Yeah, from inside.

Never stops hustling. It never stops us. Our next story, a bit of Super Bowl Eve era of news. Travis Kelsi jokes about how much money he's spending to have family, friends at Super Bowl 2024. So no one is immune to the pricey cost of this Super Bowl, not even the players. Travis said on The New Heights podcast, I'm not really doing much different other than just counting how much money I'm spending on this damn Super Bowl for family and friends to come. Just making sure I'm on top of those finances and losing all this money.

It's really crazy. I can only imagine how much he's spending. He's probably one of the players spending the most amount of money.

Yeah. The cost of the Super Bowl and its VIP suites has been a popular topic over the last few weeks as family members of players have been voicing how expensive this year's game is going to be.

Now, we attribute... All Super Bowl are expensive. They're always setting new records, but this is obviously different. We attribute that to tailored, correct?

I personally attribute it to Vegas because who doesn't want to go to the Super Bowl in Vegas, especially for people in LA? It's a 45 minutes. No brainer. There's so much to do Vegas. It's a very exciting place to have a Super Bowl, and it is a high-profile game. But I think even if it was debt versus Chiefs or debt versus 49ers, it would be very much I don't think it would be the same. I think it would still be extremely pricey. Maybe a little bit smaller, but still massive.

Yeah. A lot is coming out about Travis. First of all, the finances. I feel like He shared this because it's funny, but also he wanted people to know he's taking care of everything because the question is, she's literally a billionaire, and he does extremely well. I feel like this year's probably made... He made more money in brand deals than he did from his football contract, and he has a great football contract. This is a person who's deeply wealthy and can afford it, but his girlfriend is probably 20 times wealthier than him, maybe more.

More because his networth is 30 million.

Do the math for me. How many times? Thirty?

30.

Yeah, 30 times richer than her. My guess wasn't bad, 20. But then, traditional queen, chivalry, it's his game. There's so many things. I really appreciate him just owning the fact that, yes, I am paying for this. She has to get the jet.

She has to get the jet, but he also is responsible for his family.

Yeah. He would, of course, be paying for them.

Then it makes sense just to do a suite and have Taylor not pay. But the suites were going for how much?

Between one and two and a half million dollars.

That is wild.

And for a regular football game, if you wanted to rent a suite for X amount of people, concert, it's about 20 grand.

Yeah. Millions is crazy.

It's insane. But also, Allegiant Stadium, which is the brand new stadium in Vegas, is this top of the line. It has these crazy suites. It's like a nightclub It's really one of the coolest stadiums in the country. It's already going to have a premium because of that. It's the Super Bowl. It's like a million things, but two and a half million dollars, really crazy. Olivia Colpo just made news because her mother-in-law, Christian McHabri's mom, went on a podcast and was like, We literally can't afford a suite. Christian can't afford a suite, even though Christian has a $500 million contract, whatever. Then Olivia Colpo posted on Instagram, Don't worry, Mom, I got you.

Yeah, with a brand. I think she got- It was with a brand.

A lot of people missed that because people are media illiterate, and it's really frustrating to have conversations with people because people are like, This is so insensitive, Olivia. People can't pay their bills. It was literally a partnership because she tagged this agency, teasing some thing to come. So please, shut up.

Yeah, it was definitely gifted and now she can get herself and Lisa in the suite. Also, Donna, Kelsey had said she was probably watching in the stands due to the crisis. But I think everyone will be in the suite, and Travis will pick up the bill. But I think that's an investment in his future.

No, and when I If you think about how much money Travis, Kelsey has made supplementary to his football salary in the last year due to this fame, I mean, the podcast, just the podcast alone.

Just the podcast alone, yeah.

They do one episode a week. They have six ads every week. Millions. It's number one all week long. Millions of downloads, and he's just splitting it with his brother. I know the numbers. That's a lot of money on its own. Face of Experian, Face of State Farm, he had that $60 million Pfizer contract. He's fine. State Farm. Did I say that?

Yeah, you said State Farm. I think his Pfizer contract was $20 million. How could it be $60 when he's worth $30?

I think it was, yeah, maybe $20. Okay, whatever. You know what I mean. I do feel like his networth probably needs to be rejiggered after this year.

Maybe. But I also... People are saying you say rejiggered a lot. I didn't feel that way, though.

Wait, I do. I like that call, but such a good word.

It hasn't reached the summit yet for me.

No, it hasn't reached the summit, but definitely something... I don't know if you noticed today when I was making my speech about the mouse, I said it's not representative of who I am. I almost said emblematic, but I came up with a new word.

Very good, to sasaurus. Com.

Thank you so much.

Also, this is weird. Travis earns about $14 million from the NFL. So not only did he get paid more for the Pfizer ad, which we know is 20 million. I don't even know how much he makes from other ads, but his NFL contract is around 14 million. That feels low, considering he's always helping them get to the Super Bowl.

Yeah. I mean, it's not low because it's a part of a bigger contract. It's not like one $14 million. I think he signed a $50 million contract three years ago.

I don't know. Yard.

Let me look it up. Hold on. What is his big-ass contract? I love that this stuff is public. That's so interesting to me. And by the way, when I just googled, it said his networth was 40, so it's already changing.

Changing by the minute.

Yeah, he signed a five-year $50 million with a $10 million signing bonus, $20 million guaranteed. It's a good deal. For a tight end, by the way. He's not a quarterback.

$50 million over five years. $10 million plus bonuses. Okay, so he makes $14 million probably in a year. I don't know. He's using a one-fourteenth of his Pay to spend on the suite. That's not great financial- It's not one-fourteenth of his pay when you think about all of his other revenue streams. And Pfizer, 20 million.

Pfizer, State Farm, Experian, Subway, podcast.

Okay, but I don't know if Experian pays, like Pfizer pays.

I think they do. I think Pfizer, State Farm, Subway, and... What was the other one I said? Experian. Experian are all paying him at least eight figures.

But also, the 14 million from the NFL is in one year. Those ad campaigns is probably a year's long campaign.

Some of them seem new. That's what I'm saying. I haven't seen him being the face of Experian before. It's like, they tapped him because he's hot right now.

Or maybe he was like, Okay, Experian is about $2 million campaign, but I could use it to pay for the suite.

Right. But he also just buy that new house, too.

6 million. Yeah.

Anyways. That's another thing Hitler ruined. The number 6 million.

I didn't even think of that.

I did. And it's like, just add it to the list. He ruined the number 9, of course. Nine. But he also ruined I'm the number 6 million. If I had a house that was worth $6 million, I would put it at 599 because-Well, you would anyway, because that's just better business. Yeah. I would not put my house in the 6 million.

It's crazy how that's still a business practice is to mark something at like, 199 instead of $200. That it's still and makes enough of a difference. That's what I was saying.

People aren't literate.

It makes enough of a difference that we're still doing It must be an actually effective marketing technique. That's why Patreon is only $7.99..

I just want to say, Patreon being $7.99 in this economy, it's free.

It's a steal.

What can you get for under $8?

I don't know. I just got a coffee this morning, and it was-How much was it?

She's too rich to remember. Okay.

Because I just got the coffee. Damn, I wish I'd blocked it. I was just excited to be out getting coffee.

How much was yours? That is exciting. Homemade, free.

But in your plastic cup, you just want to kill the sea turtles?

No, I needed ice. We don't have an ice machine at the studio. So from the coffee shop downstairs, I get a cup of ice. They must love me there. I spend no money, and I come and take ice every morning.

That's nice, ice.

Well, yes, I am killing multiple animals with my cup, and I should be murdered because of it. I do feel like I'm also helping by not contributing to consumerism.

So it bounces out. Okay, but you're robbing a small business.

It's not small.

Let's say that. You're robbing a medium-sized business.

I am stealing from a business that I believe was invested in by BlackRock. Okay? I read that somewhere. This big chain of coffee shops in New York that popped up. Somebody said it's like a BlackRock.

Interesting.

Yeah, I feel good about it. Thanks, BlackRock, for my coffee.

But I also saw that big chain. They had to close a number of locations. Do you think it was because of the ice that you took?

Maybe it's because BlackRock was too busy buying homes in America.

Every home in America.

What is that, by the way? I fell into that conspiracy theory. Blackrock is buying... And not mansions, regular single-family homes that were normal, and they're gouging up the prices or something. Yeah. It's sick. Sick.

Sick.

What are you just saying? Here I am with my rental with my- Travis Kelsey. Money. He's paying for The Studio. What is it called? The Suite. He's also just making a lot of waves because he has been... And he's been such a good sport about it. But the way people have been acting, sports journalists should seriously... They need to be spoken to some of the questions that he has been asked. It's been coming from female reporters and male reporters. I can't even just blame one particular group for being cringe Travis, finish the Lyric.

Yikes.

In an official Super Bowl press conference.

Did you see the reporter who asked Brock Purdy if he saw this online... I don't even know what you call online call that he looks like Lee Harvey Oswald?

I did.

This reporter needs to get off of TikTok. What... And Brock Purdy was like, No, I didn't see it.

No, he was like, What do you think about the comparison? He's like, literally, he's a murderer.

No, and it's like, Oh, I never heard that before. Great question. Thanks.

Yeah, no. People are acting like they've forgotten how to act. And the questions that Travis has had to field, and he hasn't made a stink about a single one of them because I feel like it's really intentional. I think he doesn't mind. I think he's excited to be popular, but also he doesn't want to come off as like, I want to be known for me, not Taylor, because that's something a weak man would do.

Yeah, I think also when they've made the decision to be so public and to go on the field, you are saying, Okay, this is what a public relationship entails. It's not like he's been super private. So it opens the door for people to ask questions, which I think is fair.

Yeah, but people have really taken... To an extent. Yeah, they have taken... They've crossed the line.

But also the questions are dumb.

Yeah, ask a good question. Ask a good question. Oh, somebody asking me, Who do you think is going to get a ring first, Taylor or the 49ers? Could you die? I'm sorry, that's really insane.

Yeah, that's really insane.

That was in the beginning when they first started going public and he was being asked questions during a press conference. Someone was like, Travis, are you in love? Okay, there's a line, please. Sure, ask your questions. Have fun with it. But my God, behave.

The state of journalism. These reporters, they need to be spoken to. Spanked.

Spanked.

Yeah, they need to be reprimanded.

Deeply.

What would you ask Travis if you wanted to get a tailored question in there?

Oh, wow.

You know what I would ask if I wanted to get a tailored music question in there? Maybe I'm just the reporters, but I'd be like, Are there any Taylor songs that you listen to to psych yourself off for game day?

By the way, I love that. Then I would also come with a list of suggestions. Ready for it. A getaway car. I would say, If you don't, here's what you should be listening to on the bus. That's an excellent question.

Say, Hey, Travis, I made you a playlist.

Okay, but also, obviously, up until this point, I don't think Travis was listening to all of Taylor's albums on repeat as a fan. No, it shouldn't be. I just don't think he was her target. He wasn't her target demo. Now, he's obviously catching up and stuff. But do you think he knows a lot of her music?

No, I think he knows- He's been to two eras tours. I think he knows Love Story, Shake Blank Space, 22, I knew You Were Trouble, and I think that's what he should know. I think now, he goes to tours, he hears nice, pretty music. I don't think he should look into it too much.

No, I think he will know Dead Poets Society.

Yeah.

Now moving forward, I always thought that was interesting when everyone was freaking out about Kelsey Balerini and what's his name? Chase Stokes. All this video footage was coming out of him at concert. He almost immediately knew a lot of the words, and people were like, That's so cute. It is really cute. How do you get there? Unless he was a fan before.

But at that point, they had been together for a while. That's a lot of going to her shows and hearing the same songs.

Yeah, and he did go to a lot of shows. Yeah, that's okay. I find that interesting. At what point in a relationship with a singer do you start to memorize lyrics, and you didn't already?

I also wonder about being a singer. Do you listen to your own music? Say you're pink. Do you listen to your own music at the gym, like the rest of us do? No. You don't get to enjoy that song the way that we do?

No, you don't. Sad.

What does Adele listen to when she's sad?

As an artist myself, I could tell you, I don't listen or work out to my own music. It's challenging. It sucks for sure. What I did find interesting, and I always think about when Taylor Swift goes to an award ceremony, and she's always the first person to stand up and dance during a performance. She's a girly who knows lyrics. I think it's interesting. I'm like, Did she make playlists? She knew vampire Olivia Rodrigo, and she was mouthing the words. I'm like, How do you know the song?

No. How does she have all this time to make all this music and listen to all this music?

It's like when you make music for a living, you just get home and you're like, I can't look at another music.

It's like us being podcasters, we really don't listen to podcasts.

No. I think baristas, they get home and they're like, I can't make another cup of coffee. You just expel what you do for work.

Yeah, but I think music some people believe in.

Stop. Shut your mouth. I told you that in confidence.

I just think that the way that some people believe in music- Jackie. I'm not about to say what you think I'm going to say. I think the way that some people believe in music, it's bigger than a cup of coffee.

Yes, but at the end of the day, no matter what you do for a living, work is work. Even if you love it and have the best job- Not for an artist, not for a true artist.

That's the point of the art. Tis. Tree.

I need to check on Ben. Artist.

Tree pain. He didn't text me. You need to check on what?

Ben and the Exterminator.

No, they're going out for coffee.

I hope so. I want to be his favorite client.

Yeah. He comes over just to chat and spray.

People are like, Teacher's pet. No, exterminator's pet. I'm going to bring you an apple.

You don't want there to be a pet to talk about.

Right.

Okay. Are you ready for our next story? What number? Three.

Oh, God. Yeah.

Prince Harry makes a surprise appearance at the NFL Honors after a quick trip to see his cancer-stricken father. Prince Harry made a surprise appearance at the NFL Honors event last Last night, following his brief shift to London, he presented Cameron Hayward with the 2023 Walter Payton Man of the Year Award, the highest honor of the night during the ceremony in Las Vegas. He said, All you guys do on and off the field is truly remarkable. You are role models for millions in the way you carry yourselves and in the way you give back. He said that Hayward is a player who goes above and beyond. Noted that his extraordinary commitment to helping others is a reflection of his own story.

Now, I love when Harry and Megan decide to step out and how he can analyze it means. I don't want to be ungrateful, but I don't understand why Harry was at the NFL honors. Football is not even a sport that he is familiar with, first of all. It's the most American sport on the planet. Two, he just got back from London. Oh, and you know what? I have fallen into a TikTok rabbit hole that I'd like to share.

Now this begs the question, did he run home after 24 hours to give this award?

Oh my God, good question.

Not that there was drama or that Charles kicked him out, but he was like, I'm sorry, Father, I have a big American award to present. I got a jet.

I'm sorry, Father. So there, I fell into a TikTok conspiracy theory. A lot of people think that he's on his deathbed, King Charles, that this is the end. I'm going to play this TikTok for you. And the person actually made a good... The person's name is Adam.

Buckingham Palace does not release statements about the health of the royal family members until it 100 % absolutely has to. Prince Harry does not fly back to the UK to visit his family unless he absolutely has to. If you pay proper attention to the royal family, it's never in what they say, it's what they do.

Follow their actions if you want the truth. The United Kingdom will be coordinating a new king this year. What I need you to understand in this moment is that Buckingham Palace is currently communicating to the public without saying it. There will be a new king this year.

Buckingham Palace does not release payment.

What do you think about that?

Time will tell. Yeah, sure. Maybe. Maybe not. It's 50/50.

It's so true. But if Harry ran home for this award, lose your energy.

That's not what I'm thinking that he did.

I just want to say, I think him being here is actually a bad look because there's really no... It's a mismatch anyway, I think, in terms of all the places he could go. He would be better off at a film award. It's not a match. It's not American. Really, it's not a good match.

Why would the NFL honors have him anyway?

By the way, the NFL honors would have him because it's just great press for their awards. That's fabulous.

But it's the biggest award of the night. There are so many people in sports who are so respected. Nobody in this room really cares about him.

No, this room doesn't care about him. That's true. It's a miss for him.

I think it's a miss for both parties. But it makes me wonder, is he going to go to the Super Bowl like we said he should?

Because he is in Vegas.

And because he clearly knows about football. But he's in Vegas, they're going to the Super Bowl 30.

I mean, NFL Honors was last night.

I didn't know that. I wish I knew. I think I would have watched.

By the way, I literally had the same exact reaction when I saw news this morning.

Damn, someone should have told me.

What channel is that on? Like, ESPN?

I didn't even channel surf last night.

I feel I think it was a few years ago where Kelly hosted the NFL Honors, or it was the ESP. I get those two awards confused.

So similar. I think I thought up until right now that last night was the one.

No. Yeah.

Nfl Honors is just football. I played my husband. He should have told me.

Yeah, agreed 1,000%. That should be on your radar. Yeah.

When I was going out to get a snack, I should have seen it on the living room.

His television. Yeah.

He wasn't watching that. He was watching some drama. I'm going to ask I'm not sure about that.

I feel like there should have been more commercials for it. Yeah.

Maybe an ad on the toast, and then we would have known about it.

Right. Maybe if ESPN had a business that they cared about, they would know what it's like, but they don't.

But they don't. If anything else, I know what happened at the NFL on We missed it.

Yeah, we did.

Are you ready for our next story?

That is brought to you by Taylor Farms.

Claudia, we need to talk about Taylor Farms. The name on everybody's lips.

Ben ate my last Taylor Farms salad last night, and we actually got into a fight.

He could be with Elizabeth Theranos and Jen Shon, Joe.

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It's such a good meal. It's such a good snack. It's such a good thing to just have in your house. Also, if you're having people over for dinner, it's such an easy way to make a salad. Because all the ingredients come prepackaged, you can customize it. If one day you want croûtons, then one day you don't. You can just do what you want. You can do your thing. Yeah.

Last night, I added some My hearts of palm to my Caesar Kit. Yummy, yummy.

Purchase Taylor Farms' Chop Salad kits where you like to shop. It's available at all major grocery stores. Today's episode is also brought to you by Game Time. You should not have to worry about when to buy your tickets for your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way To buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater near you. With killer last minute deals, all in prices, views from your seats, and their best price, Guadante, GameTime takes the guesswork out of buying tickets. Gametime is the only ticketing app that gives you complete peace of mind with your purchase. See the view from your seat before you buy so you know exactly what to expect when you arrive. The all in prices show your total upfront so you know that you're getting a great deal before you check out. Buy tickets in seconds with two taps. Game time has deals on tickets right up to the start of the event and even an hour after it starts, so it is the place to find last minute ticket deals. Find exclusive flash deals and sponsor deals on tickets for football, baseball, basketball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more.

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Guadanteed. Our next story, little game news. Actually, I think all five stories have a bit of a sports theme, which I think is great as it is era of Super Bowl.

It is era of Super Bowl.

Cascade will replace Tiesto at the Super Bowl as the big game's first ever official DJ. We had spoken about how Tiesto was supposed to be the DJ for the Super Bowl, which is so Vegas and so Tiesto.

During the game?

I think we What does that mean? I think we were going to see. I'm sure he would be doing it for the fans, but I'm sure there would be some TV component. The Super Bowl DJ. How fun is that?

Yeah, okay.

But he had to step back due to a family emergency. He said, Me and my team have been preparing something truly special for months, but a personal family emergency is forcing me to return home Sunday morning. It was a tough decision to miss the game, but family always comes first. Thank you to the NFL, etc.

Well, the good thing is they're in Vegas. You can't fart without hitting three DJs, and big ones too. So Cascade, great. Huge. That's great. Hope everything's okay with Tiesto.

Yeah, same for me. Cascade will be great. Now I'm like, Wait, what did Tiesto have planned? Sounded exciting.

No, now I'm intrigued. What the fuck does being the DJ of that Super Bowl entail?

That's what I'm curious about. I think it would have been really cool.

Or is it a job that's just in-name only?

I don't think Tiesto takes in-name only jobs. My question is, is it a job that's for in-stadium only? Do the people at home get to enjoy it?

There are a lot of things about the Super Bowl. Jack and I have been that are really- Yeah, we have. We were there. They're either made for TV or made for the stadium. The Super Bowl halftime show, when we went, it was Justin Timberlake, right? Yeah. We didn't even hear him. It wasn't playing on the screens. It's truly made for TV. Nobody is watching it like a concert. It's not like that at all. And that was disappointing for sure. Yeah. Because you would say, let's say Taylor was going to the Super Bowl and be like, Okay, I'm going to go to a Taylor Swift concert. You're literally not. The microphone is not even on.

No, and it depends which way they're facing. But they do try to do like 360. Oh, yeah, we had his back. But I just felt like everything was happening on the other side for Justin Timberlake. Selfie Kid wasn't sitting near us.

We had totally back view of Justin Timberlake, and I couldn't have been more thrilled about it. Fuck him. Of all the performers we had to miss, I would have been okay with that.

Totally fine.

But I wonder if the Super Bowl DJ is an in-stadium thing, because also then you deal with music licensing on TV. It's a whole thing.

But they play music all day long.

Yeah.

We'll see. I think it's going to be really exciting. I think Cascade will rise to the challenge, but I am bummed. Now I'm like, What a TS do I have planned? And does Cascade have enough time to plant something of a similar elk.

Tiesto is really major.

Yes, turdy.

When you just think about global artists who could sell out stadiums in Germany, we always think, Taylor, Luke, Morgan Wallen. Literally, these DJs are so crazy rich globally. It's insane. Yeah. Those Tomorrowland audiences are hundreds of thousands of people. Yeah. It's just interesting. It's like such a subculture that we're so not tuned into.

Not even sub.

Right. It's just a culture. Yeah.

Massive.

Massy block-ive.

Exactly. Our fifth and final story is a little halftime news because Usher is giving-Oh, my God.

The whole show is-The whole show.

Usher He was giving some teasers about his halftime show, saying it would be foolish to perform at the Super Bowl show without inviting Lil John and Ludacris on stage because he said it would be foolish not to perform his song, Yeah. Also, Ludacris and Lil John are-Wait, what's the song, Yeah?

I get confused with the Chris Brown one. How does it go? Dun, Dun, Dun.

Let me just play, though.

I'm just being your grandma right now. I feel like there's four songs named Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jackie, copyright. Turn it off.

I put it away from my microphone and closer to you.

Yeah, you keep doing that where you think you'll do something away from your microphone.

It was the one time, and obviously, I didn't push my mic. I do that all the time. I move my microphone, and I sneeze over here. It's always fine. I think the one time that I was blowing my nose during quince, sorry to this quince, I didn't move the microphone far enough.

Jackie, let's talk about you blowing your nose during the quince ad. How many people texted me? What's going on? I thought a bomb was going off. Okay, I want to say, first of all, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't move my microphone or muted it. I'm really sorry. Point number two, I'm so glad you guys don't skip through the ads.

So true. Rach Parsal was like, What's going on?

Rach Parsal listens to our ads. That is a feather in my cap.

We're influencing the influencers.

I think every once in a while, we need to do something crazy during the ads just to make sure people are still here.

Okay, on Monday, I'll like, rip ass during telepharm or something.

It didn't need to be as soon as Monday. I would say maybe quarterly, an ad check-in.

Okay, so not No, not tomorrow.

No, not tomorrow. I just did my crazy quince blow, the CQB.

Yeah. Okay, wait, really quickly, back to Usher. I feel like it's very rare for a Super Bowl performer to ever confirm prior to the show, who he's bringing out.

But I also feel like it means he's bringing out everyone. If he's teasing these two, I think Justin Bieber's coming.

I agree, and I feel like I normally would have said, Oh, I wish he shared it. I wish he waited to share and surprised us all. But now, knowing what's coming in the anticipation, I'm actually more excited. I feel like it actually is going to be a 10 out of 10 performance.

I think it's going to be just a celebration, a celebración, as Friday episodes are here at the show. But I also, sometimes when someone's performing, the whole time I'm like, I'm waiting for this song. Are they going to bring someone out? It's the anticipation. You can't enjoy it so much. I feel like that happened with Rihanna. Everyone's like, Oh, it's all of the lights. Is Kanye coming? If we know a little bit, Okay, people are coming, great. We're not so worried about that. Suspensful.

It's actually so true. It takes away from the performance because then you're going to end up always feeling let down.

Yeah, but for Rihanna, I wanted her to not bring anyone out. Same. I think it would have taken away from her to bring someone out. I don't feel that way about Usher because I feel like his songs, the more the merrier thing.

No. And with Usher, so much of his career and his success are built on collaborations, whereas Rihanna, that's really not the No, but so many of her hits are collabs, actually.

Yeah, but like- But just coincidentally.

No, I can't explain it.

I agree with you on a metaphysical level, but on a literal level, it's not the case.

It's different.

It's just different. I agree. It doesn't require explanation.

I'm so excited for the Super Bowl this weekend, for the halftime performer, for the pre-show performers, for the game, for the Taylor. Kim Kardashian is probably going to be there because Skims is doing a thing with Usher. There's just a lot that's It's going to be going on, and I feel like it's just going to be a great weekend to be on my phone.

Yes, but also off your phone because we're going to be together. So it's a little bit of on off.

It's a little bit of on off. And what's so exciting is that the show is far from over. Well, not far from over. That's dramatic.

Yeah, that is. But we still have more. There's more.

We still have more. Our Weenie of the Week and our Queenie of the Week crowning has officially commenced. Our weekly segment where Jackie and I just take a look back at the week at a glance and give out two awards, one to the Queenie of the Week and one to the Weenie of the Week. Two people who exhibited either queenie-like values or weenie-like values.

100%. How do you want to start?

Let's start with queenie. Let's get the good one out of the way.

My Queenie of the Week is Miley Cyrus. For me, Miley, she won the Grammys in a literal sense, but her energy, she shined so bright.

No, I love.

She was awe-inspiring. I spent the week listening to her music, just entering into another Miley appreciation era. This is one of many in my lifetime. She is just my absolute I hope she had the best week of her life. And queeny vibes only from her.

I love that. Mine is also Grammys related. Of course. But it is Tracy Chapman.

A queen.

Because you know what? I've been seeing on TikTok, her performance has just gone so viral. And of course, the Luke of it all, it brings me so much joy. I love Luke getting his flowers from people who aren't in country. But Tracy Chapman is just this deeply talented, deeply non-thirsty person who I I feel like they had to pull teeth to even show up at the Grammys. I think it brought people so much joy. That song means so much to so many people. I've just been seeing all these people talking about the song and what it means to them and reminding them of their families. I feel like it was just this really rare, wholesome moment for the culture where two different genres came together. We need more moments like that, unification. I loved it, and Tracy Chapman is responsible for it.

Love.

Love.

Now, I do think the weaning of the week, there's only one.

Okay, who's yours?

I know that it's yours, too.

I don't think so.

Annie Lennix.

Oh, I scratch mine. Yes. My Weanie of the Week was going to be us for how we've been acting with the 5K. We've been really weenie, and we need to stop. Stop.

But the thing is we're so cute.

I know. The clips are going viral, so honestly, I take it back.

Thank you. I know you say we're desperate and thirsty. I think we're really earnest. We just want to be involved and meet new people.

We're sweet and included.

And exercise, meet new people. It's so true. Support small podcasts.

Get outside. Get outside. Get some fresh air.

Support some men who could really use a leg up.

I love that. By the way, you're 100% right. My God, yes, Annie Annie Lennix is the Weanie of the Week. I don't know how I miss that. Annie Lennix, sorry. Not Annie Lennix is the Weanie of the Week.

Annie Lennix is the Weanie of the Week.

I hate Annie Lennix. Once again, thank you for reminding me of my new life's mission, which is to make fun of Annie Lennix whenever possible.

Every chance we get, which Weanie of the Week is that.

Howard Stern actually did a segment similar to Weanie of the Week on his show about Annie Lennix, and I loved it. So thank you, Howard, for championing my cause.

Facts were spoken. How about artists for the release of the hostages?

Release them the hostages. Say that first. Yeah.

Then let's talk peace.

No, everyone wants peace. What are we, animals? No, but saying ceasefire to a group of barbarians who have said time after time, We don't want to stop being barbarians. We want to kill Jews. So saying ceasefire is just saying the civilized people, the Jews, the Israelis, need to ceasefire and stop defending themselves. Shut the fuck up, you dumb ugly bitch.

And then die. Because the other side will not cease firing, and they've made that known time and time again. So if you are confused why artists for ceasefire is trash, that's why.

Artists for ceasefire sounds like artists who are deaf because they're not listening. No.

And it's like, okay, artists, what about the hostages in that situation?

So we ceasefire, and then the hundred women, teenagers, men, grandparents who are just sitting there. What about them?

And they're not just sitting there. They're being abused on every level.

They're being raped, emotionally, physically, verbally assaulted. Please shut the fuck up. I need my ass. Shut the fuck up.

I would say, Shut the fuck up and sing, but don't even do that.

No, because you weren't good at that either. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean, Shut the fuck up. I meant, Shut the fuck up.

It's like a big It's gone. Yeah.

And honestly, I don't even remember how she actually sounded because I've dramatized it so much in my head, and it's funnier in my head. For sure. Love. So that's Queety and Meanie of the Week. Truly turning into one of the highlights of my week. I'm so glad we started doing that. Yeah. And that is And that is our show. So thank you so much for listening to The Toast, The Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fired stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe. Give us video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast, by the way. Anywhere podcast can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Castbox, all the places. Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us, The Toast. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Without further ado, we bid you adieu. Love you. Bye.