Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast. Happy hump day. It is Wednesday, bitch. And if that weren't exciting enough, you know, like, we're, you know, on our way to the weekend. It's Wednesday, which means we have dear toasters and deer. Toasters is always just, like, a fixture in society and in culture. However, in these recent weeks, it's become kind of like, I can't wait. Like, we're just, you know, hanging on till Wednesday. And today is no different. We have an update.

I just want to say something. I'm here, too. I haven't spoken yet.

You haven't?

No. Wow.

No wonder I was having so much fun.

Hey, guys, we have an update. I'm excited.

No, it's all I can think about.

As much as I don't want to not be appreciative of the short week, I did think today was Thursday.

It should be.

Yesterday was an incredibly long day.

Never ended. I was in my jeans till 08:00.

P.M. That felt like two days 100%. I was shocked that we only had one day of healthfulness under our belt.

Well, that's what's really disappointing. As we spoke about on yesterday's show, Jackie and I, yesterday both began like, a journey of healthfulness, just because we've been kind of like, monstrosities in the last couple of weeks. And we did good yesterday, but it.

Was only one day.

One day.

One day, one day at a time. Sweet Jesus.

What? Isn't that the next lyric, one day at a time? No. I don't know. It's giving sweet Jesus. I mean, he died for your sins.

Yours, too.

Not mine, actually.

Who do you think has more sins between us?

Me. Yeah. So why'd you ask a question like you haven't seen any answer?

Just like, are we on the same page about that?

I don't know.

I feel like we're relatively. We're sin light. We're not sinners. In a sense, nobody sin less.

Wow, this show has really become something else.

Our cross to bear is that we can't stop talking shit.

Well, privately, are we talking, like, if we're christian, I take the Lord's name in vain, but I'm not christian. I'm always like, jesus Christ.

But I feel like in the hierarchy of, like, adultery is worse than shit talk. And, like, those cardinal sins, we don't commit them, like, lust, greed.

So, actually, in Judaism, there are really three major sins, like, you have to die for. You should die before you commit them. They are adultery, idolatry, murder, and murder. And I have never really been on the cusp of doing any of those things. I feel good where I'm at. Like my lush and Hara, which is speak of evil. I gossip a lot. I just feel like when the time comes and I'm at the pearly gates, I know God's not going to be like, you gossip too much, girl. Get out of here.

No. He's chuckling at what we're saying. No.

And he's going to be like, that was funny. What ended up happening.

No. And it was true.

Yeah.

No.

And I don't want to repeat myself because I've said this so many times, but there is a difference between talking shit and an exchange of information. And yes. Do I sit around and say, like, she's ugly? Sometimes, but most of the time it's like, did you hear that they got divorced? Like, I'm just sharing things I would.

Say out of the pie of us talking about things like, five to 10% is mean, spare.

I agree. But the thing is, we're family, and that doesn't make us mean people. And I also think it's important to expel those mean thoughts because they will consume you. Yeah.

And then you could act meanly. And we don't act meanly. No.

We are once again talking about ourselves in the third person. We are generous, we are kind, we are gracious, we are charitable. We are God fearing women.

Yeah, we are.

So I feel like if I were to die today, honestly, I feel like. As though I would be welcomed in to heaven.

And anything that I would be brought to task for, I can answer for. I can back that shit up.

That's different. That's different. Because if I were to seriously be held accountable for all my sins in front of God and his peeps, I would not be able to justify every single bad thing I've ever.

But then there are a few things that if he brought it up, I'd be like, I feel worse than you do about that. Trust me, it's killing me more than it's hurting you.

Oh, my God. I love that. That's so true.

And it's giving, like, victim energy.

Should we have Maddie Pruitt on this podcast? This is what this conversation is giving.

It is giving God fearing women.

We are. By the way, when you think of God fearing women, you think like church and Christianity, but you can be God fearing of other gods. We are God fearing.

Yeah. And I was watching love is blind last night, and that couple that both.

Kenny and Brittany are devoted to God.

I thought was just so beautiful.

It was so cute.

And I liked hearing about it. So I don't mind having this conversation because as a consumer, I enjoyed hearing about just, like, their thoughts on God.

And I would love if.

And that's on God.

If somebody in the comments could let me know who Brittany looks like. It's pissing me off. Like, I can't figure it out. She looks like someone.

Yeah, she does. I think she probably looks like a lot of people, but who is it? I don't know. It didn't come to me.

Sound off in the comments.

Is that a big theme from the discussion about this season? Like, who do people look like?

No, not at all. Oh, because of the mega boxing?

Yeah. But also, I feel like it makes you think, like, if you were in a pod and someone asked you, who's your celebrity doppelganger? To get, like, a sense of what you look like.

The new episodes are out today.

Oh, yeah.

They came out at three in the morning. Why does Netflix do it at midnight Pacific time? Like, it's annoying.

Probably so they have time to work out the kinks if it doesn't upload properly.

Because Netflix is based in California. Like, they just do it on their own schedule.

Rude.

Rude.

I'm in the middle of episode four. Things are getting good, and I hope to be finished by the time that you guys watch tonight.

Yeah.

Because I'm going to take some time for myself today. I haven't up for a while.

So Jackie did see the Megan Fox moment.

I saw the Megan Fox moment.

And what were your thoughts on that? She's getting dragged for saying it because she doesn't look like Megan.

I don't mind that she said that she looks like Megan Fox.

And by the way, she didn't say that. She said, I don't see it, but I get told all the time.

Okay, but she was putting out there, hey, if you pick me, you're going with Megan Fox.

Right.

And I don't mind that she sees herself as Megan Fox, even if she wants to be like, no, it's not me, it's everyone else. Fine. Like, yeah, I'm Giselle. And that's the sort of confidence that you should have.

That's what I said on the shows yesterday.

But the timing that she said it, she was kind of losing him.

She was being manipulative.

And it's a manipulative thing to say to be like, hey, maybe you're not sure about me, but I look like Megan Fox. Because obviously that's the thing. That's like, in the background of everyone's head, it's like, I feel this way about this person, and I also like this person. Which one do I think is I'm going to be more attracted to? So when you hear it's Megan Fox.

It helps put a tick in your column. 1000%. It was at a point in the conversation where they were almost veering into talking about Jess, and he was like, I want to change the subject. And he got weird. So she was like, all right, let me keep it fun. But it was strategic.

It was strategic. And even though in that moment it was a win for her because she reeled him back in, it will be an l for her if they choose each other, which I don't know yet, and she's not Megan Fox. And even if your celebrity, even if she looked like Megan Fox, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, because unless you are Megan Fox, then you're going to.

Be like, oh, you're Megan Fox, but you're not. You got big ears.

Not saying she actually, I haven't seen her ears.

I'm just saying if you watch my.

Comedy comparison is the thief of a joy.

If you watch my comedy special, lean in on prime Video, which you can now watch in the United States and Canada on prime Video, you would know nothing good ever comes out of celebrity doppelganger conversations. And this is just yet another example of that. Although I did want to say, what I said on the podcast yesterday is I feel very, like I'm being very cautious about what I'm saying because this whole saga, the Megan Fox thing, has become the only thing that people are talking about. And it continues to be like a thread throughout the show. And I feel as though because of that and because it's like this hot button moment that everybody's talking about, it has ended in a referendum on her looks. And I feel like no person, especially like a girl, is equipped to go through that. And I actually feel really bad for her. And she's been putting out social media content, laughing with everyone, and poking fun. And I actually think that's, like, a really good strategy, but it's got to hurt.

Yeah, no, that's not right. But I do think in general, I know you're against celebrity doppelgangers, but if I was talking to someone, I want to get a sense of what they looked like, and they gave me a person and said, I don't look like this person, but we're of similar elk. That would be helpful to know what I'm going with.

And what's so funny is that Jackie and I both separately said that we thought Chelsea actually looked like Adele.

Yeah. Is that what other people are?

No, no, I haven't seen anyone say that. But I thought it and then you said it. I'm like, yes, I thought that as well. So that would have been like a better.

Yeah. Or she could be like, I look like a combo, and then it's more mysterious. Oh, what do you look like?

Yeah. So I cannot wait for the new episodes. I forgot that that was today, so I guess I know what I'm doing. Yeah, I guess the five k training is just going to be put on the back burner.

Oh, we could do a little five k today because the boys will want to watch, too.

Yeah, we have to wait for them, even though Ben is Loki in New York today and these way back tonight.

Adios.

So we'll have to wait for him.

But see ya, Bonj.

See ya. We've got a great show. We've got stories that are solid as a rock. Solid as a rock. We've got dear toasters, our weekly advice segment where today we have an update on the girl who last week let us know. She had written in a few weeks ago, saying that she had an inkling that her husband, she wanted to know if she was being crazy because her husband and his family own a bunch of rental properties. And there was this one young, hot woman living in one of the rental properties. She was, like, being annoying and taking advantage of her husband, being like, oh, the roof is leaking. My toilet's running. And she was like, am I being crazy? I just have a weird feeling. Turns out she was not being crazy. It wasn't just a weird feeling. She came home and found a condom wrapper in her husband's pants after he had been at her house. So we hear from her today.

I need to hear from her. She's been on my mind and my heart, and I know she's been on.

Everyone else's and she still needs us. Like, there hasn't been a conclusion, but progress has been made in the saga.

Okay, I'm very excited to hear.

Me, too. Anything else? We want to. It's hard. We actually don't have a lot to chit chat about because yesterday we did.

So much chatting on the Patreon, like.

Earlier, was it this week or the end of last week? Jackie and I spoke about what would it be like if we did two podcasts a day, like a morning toast and an afternoon toast. And yesterday we kind of put that theory to the test and we did an afternoon episode on our Patreon. So 04:00 and we kind of updated everyone on our day, followed up thoughts we had in the morning, and brought them back up on the afternoon. So it was like an hour long podcast, video and audio that we put on Patreon. If you want to see what it would be like to have two episodes a day, right?

Because if you want more than one episode a day, go to patreon.com, the toast. That's what we realized in this whole exercise. It's like, oh, we already do that. It's called Patreon. You pretty much nets out to, like, a bonus episode a week and you can go listen right now. So that's really exciting. And I also want to say one more thing, because if you've been on our merch site, you will see that there's a countdown.

You will.

A week from today, we are launching new merch. That is the collection I am most week from today because it was like seven days and hours. A collection that is so exciting that we've been working on since the fall and we've been waiting for the right time to drop it. The time is now. It's in a week from today. So just gird your loins. We'll start to tease it soon so you'll be able to see. But honestly, we don't want people to copy it.

No, the thing is, it's like the coolest thing we'll ever drop. And yesterday we were like, oh, should wear it on the Patreon. Maybe give people like a little sneak peek. And Jackie, she was right. She was like, if we start teasing it before we're actually able to sell, like somebody's going to steal the idea. We're kind of paranoid.

We are.

But good reason.

Even though we talked about on the Patreon how we are letting go of the chip on our shoulders, we're saying goodbye to it.

We're saying goodbye to it.

But that's really exciting. So set your calendars, get excited, mentally prepare next week, new merch dropping.

So just like, get that in your head, in your thick skulls. Okay?

That's not a way to sell.

No, it's not a way to sell bullying. That's one of the things I'll have to answer for totally. When my time comes, I think without.

Further ado, sure, it's time.

I'm actually excited about the stories.

Same. It's time for the fast five stories that you need to know that Claudia is actually excited about.

And the fast five stories that you need to know that Claudia is actually excited about are brought to you by McDonald's. As the toasters know, we are truly, wholeheartedly obsessed with McDonald's. There's nothing better than getting home from a long night, ordering your mcdonald's, or having your husband pick it up for you, getting out of your dress, taking your girdle off, and just laying on the couch with an ice cold soda and whatever your go to order from McDonald's is. And we're so excited to partner with McDonald's to talk about their classic burgers, which are hotter, juicier, and tastier than ever before. So much so that the hamburger is on the loose. We have nothing but empathy and respect for the hamburger, because how could you blame him for trying to get himself the Big Mac he deserves? After all, the McDonald's patties are cooked to juicy perfection and the cheese is perfectly melted. We're talking a pillowy, soft, golden bun and a Big Mac that now has more special sauce in every bite. I have been mispronouncing Big Mac in every single read that we've done for McDonald's. Somebody pointed that out. I keep saying big mock, like, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just said it right.

A big mock, by the way, I swear that wasn't intentional. A Big Mac that now has more special sauce than in every bite. We stand with the hamburger because McDonald's best classic burgers are better than ever. So try McDonald's best burgers ever at a McDonald's near you. I just feel like if you listen to the toast, like, you know, I don't really have to explain and sell McDonald's, too, you know, it's perfection. So head to your McDonald's and try out their best burgers ever. Today's episode is also brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place and all on your own terms. So you need a website. Like, I don't know what you do for a living, but I guarantee you need a website. Whether you have your own business, you work in e commerce, you're a photographer, a graphic designer, a videographer. You want to showcase your art, you want to showcase your portfolio, you need a website, and it can be extremely daunting to you.

Don't know where to start if you're not like a computer Uter wizard? And Squarespace is really great. It's really accessible. It's really easy to use. They have great website templates. So whatever type of website you're trying to build, whether it's you're trying to sell something, you're trying to showcase art, whatever it is, they have a template that's going to look really professional and be all done by you. You don't have to hire a fancy company. You can sell custom merch on a Squarespace store. You can create an online store. You can showcase the video collection. You can do email campaigns. You'll also get great tools and analytics so you can use those insights to grow your business. The blogging tools that Squarespace has are super powerful to share your stories, photos, videos, and updates. They really just have everything from top to bottom. So whatever you need a website for, you can guarantee that Squarespace is going to have what you need. And if you check out squarespace.com, you'll get a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain so that free trial is available@squarespace.com. Once you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com toast toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Macy's. All right, holiday season is upon us. It's that time of year, Passover, Easter Energy and whatever you're celebrating. Like you need good things for the home, you need decor. Are you hosting? Are you buying a gift to go to someone else's house? Macy's has you covered so you can look your best, of course, but then also show off your home in the best possible manner. So Easter is happening early this year. Get ready for the Easter bunny on Sunday, March 31. From pastel outfits for the whole family to brunch ready servewear, Macy's has you covered. They also have Toys r Us Easter basket goodies. So from books to stuffed animals and even slime, you can find it all in store online at Macy's. Com. Macy's is also committed to empowering the next generation to create a brighter future for all. And that's why they are supporting UNCF, an organization that funds scholarships for students at historically black colleges and universities now through February 29. So help Macy's and UNCF continue their impact by rounding up your purchase in store or donating online so get excited to give back.

You can learn more at Macy's. Com purpose and get yourself ready for Easter at Macy's, dot or of course, in store, they've got you covered everything from home to clothing to beauty. Whatever you need, you need a gift for someone for Easter. You need a dress for the fam. They've got you covered at Mac's. That's Macy S.com. Or just head over to the store nearest to you.

Thank you.

LA it's been an absolute pleasure.

Our first story, Kelly Rowland walked off the Today show as a guest host because her dressing rooms weren't up to par, leaving Hoda cotby scrambling. So this story has been developing ever since Kelly Rowland dramatically walked out of NBC's Today show on Thursday morning after the star thought her dressing room was not up to snuff. As sources exclusively tell Page Six, the singer and actress was a guest on the 08:00 a.m. Hour of today and then was expected to fill in for Jenna Bush Hager in the fourth hour as a guest host of Today with Hoda and Jenna. However, she dropped out at the 11th hour because her dressing room wasn't up to par and she left Hoda scurrying to in a replacement. Sources told Page Six. Kelly and her team were not happy. They did not like the dressing room, so they decided to pull her off the show, leaving Hoda without a guest host for the 10:00 a.m.. Hour. She was on the show to promote her new Tyler Perry produced Netflix movie Maya Culpa, in which she stars and is also a producer. Her abrupt exit left everyone perplexed because she's beloved.

Today.

She was getting the full hour, the biggest hype woman on the planet. It made no sense.

And then a follow up story was she continued to do press for this and she went on Sherry Shepard's show. And Sherry Shepard gave Kelly Rowland her own dressing room. Sherry Shepard gave Kelly Rowland Sherry's dressing room. Like the host of the show, she gave it to her for the, because.

She'S like a dressing room diva now. There are photos of the dressing rooms at the Today show.

And I have to say not to make everything about me. I have been on the Today show.

Now.

I wasn't a guest chosen. I wasn't there for hours. They literally tell you to come five minutes before. They don't have a lot of space. And there's like, do you know many people go on the Today show every day? Like local community groups, like there's a million people. They put you in a room closet for ten minutes. You go, you leave. That's it.

Yeah. So here are photos from 2021 that showed dressing rooms that are just, like, in disarray. They're very small. There's shit everywhere. And maybe that's what she walked into. Let's assume.

Yeah. Hoda's room is covered in shit and tiny. So it's clear that this is what the Today show has. Not that they have amazing dressing rooms. And they decided to give Kelly Rowland the worst one, right?

Yeah. They were trying to play musical chairs with the dressing rooms. Find another dressing room. Apparently there's a green room, but JLo was already in, so.

Yeah. The thing is, this is just really, like, bad. It's a bad look for Kelly Ronan.

It's bad behavior, especially because so many major celebrities go on the today's show. I'm sure a lot of them have walked into that room. I can imagine a celebrity walking into that room and being. No, no.

Especially if you have a lot of.

People like, oh, my God, you just reminded me.

Do you have a story you could swap out for j?

Yeah, I did.

Are we talking about JLo? Yeah. Okay.

I swapped already.

Oh, okay.

I already did. Your story reminded me, too. Sorry.

Back to Kelly Rowland. Now, there are very, very few people on planet earth who could get away with behavior like this. Now, unfortunately, Kelly Rowland is not one of those people. But who is? Her good friend, Beyonce. But Beyonce, like, people who can act like this wouldn't. Beyonce would never. I feel like Beyonce would be, like, talking shit with her friends would be, like, professional, true woman.

It's true. People who can act like this wouldn't. And that's why they can. And that's why they wouldn't.

And know why I was kind of shocked. I don't know Kelly Rowland on a personal level, but what I've gleaned from her, just as a consumer of her work for many years, is that she's like a cool, down to earth. You know, getting to go on the Today show is obviously a huge get, but also getting that guest co host spot is huge. And it was a missed opportunity for her to do the hour where she could have obviously just shown her personality to millions of people. But also, now I just have, like, an icky taste. It's like, this is really in poor taste.

Yeah, it is. However, valiant hero Rita aura stepped in at the 11th hour and hosted with Hoda.

And you know what? That floss is Rita Ora's gain. I feel like Rita Ora would have gotten this gig if she wasn't just in the building at the exact same time that they. Right.

I feel like that part of the story is kind of skidded over and I didn't watch the hour, but it's not an easy job to do, especially at the last.

No. Pregnant.

Good for her.

Yeah. I feel like that's a job we would be good at. And I am based in New York. If they ever need anyone beyond good at. It's kind of like what we do here.

Yeah.

Except we just couldn't curse on the Today show, which I can do because I can't curse on Amazon Live.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah, I actually don't think I've ever flubbed. Margot has once.

Even when I'm trying not to curse, I can't stop myself because I'm just not aware.

So fucking hard. I know.

You know, I do know, you guys. I want to see how many times I curse in this episode. I want to try not to, even though I will completely forget about that after I say this.

I'll take a mental note. Okay.

Yeah. Call me out in a nice way.

Yeah. Should we have a swear jar?

Swear jar.

But we should put, like, food in it because who carries their own coins?

Yeah. Or we should put gift cards. You just have gift cards around. Who swore the least? Well, go shopping.

I think, like, a modern swear jar is like a Venmo jar. Oh, not as fun.

No, not as fun. I like a jar. Like a physical.

And maybe the beautification committee can make a nice one. That would be our new centerpiece.

Got it. But what would we be sitting here with at all times that we could put in? Nothing.

Like pieces of duty saliva. Pieces of duty jar podg. So back to this Kelly Rowland thing. Like, really weird behavior. Beyonce would never.

Yeah, not a good look.

Not a good look. And then, like, sherry Shepard, like, kind of giving her. Her dressing.

Dignifying the behavior.

Yeah, that I don't understand at all.

Also, Kelly Rowland's rep spoke out about the US. She said after 28 years of knowing her, Kelly Roland remains one of the kindest, most amiable humans I've ever met and have had the blessing to represent.

So I'm going to give Kelly Roland the benefit of the doubt here. I remember that today's show is extremely early. Like, if she was on the 08:00 hour, this girl's been up since like four or 05:00 maybe she was just, like, in a foul mood. And I actually can relate to that.

I can relate to that.

I would never. No.

If this story was just like, Kelly Rowland was a diva behind the scenes of today's show because she didn't like her dressing room, I could understand that having happened to leave and leave Hoda in the lurch when she's doing you a solid. That's not right.

Especially when Hoda is one of those celebrities who I feel is, like, friends with everyone, is good to everyone, like a generous queen. I feel like she's not the type of person you want to piss off either.

Right. It's like, she's super sweet, but don't get on her bad side.

Yeah. And she's also, like, an extremely powerful.

Woman in media, but the whole organization.

Of the Today show, she'll never be invited back. And that's bad if you're trying to have a career in entertainment, like, it's just a necessary part of the press junket cycle.

Yeah. Plus, it's also NBC. And there's more.

NBC Universal, NBC ting. It's bravo. It's USA Network. They own everything. It's the Olympics. It's everything.

So Kelly Rowland is not going to the Olympics.

You will not see Kelly Rowland in Paris of summer 2024.

This summer.

This summer. Oh, my God. Wait. I have to start getting excited. That's why I'm wearing red, white and blue today.

And you're sporty.

Yeah.

Do you want to talk about the fact that I feel like people are going to be like, oh, my God, I love the Rangers?

Well, I would love to go to a Rangers game if anybody would like to take me.

You have a sweatshirt?

I do have a sweatshirt, actually. I went into Jackie's closet, and I just kind of stood there for, like, 25 minutes, like, trying on and touching every sweater, and I somehow ended up with this Rangers one. The thing is I'm trying on different colors while I'm here. Like, I don't want to wear white, black, or gray on my top on the toast anymore. So I've been trying, I don't know if you guys noticed. I've been wearing colors every single day and just seeing which one makes my face look best, and I haven't worn, like, a cobalt blue yet.

Yeah.

And that's what I was doing today. That was the thought process behind this.

Luke, I like that.

Yeah. You're wearing pink. Let's see how your face looks.

I'm always wearing pink.

Yeah.

It's like, I don't even know if pink is the right color for me. Don't sound off in the comments because, like, to wear it.

I kind of love that don't sound off in the comments.

Yeah, I'm not looking for opinions. I will continue wearing pink, but I do think that if it didn't look good on me, I wouldn't be wearing it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't think it looks bad on me.

Don't sound off in the. Don't get it twisted. This isn't think group discussion.

So often we make everything a group.

Discussion sprint for people to sound off in the comments.

But I don't need everyone to be like, no, Jackie, pink isn't your color. And then I'm going to keep wearing pink and then I'm going to be feeling weird, like, is it not my color? I don't want to know.

Yeah.

And by the way, I like how I look in the mirror. So guess what? It's my color.

You look great.

Survey says.

Survey says. You are the color.

Are you ready for our next story?

Not unless it's about JLo.

It's not. It's not because it's thematic. And this is kind of like the second biggest story of the day.

Oh, what is it?

Tom Sandoval was profiled in the New York Times, which is just like news in itself. I have not read the profile.

Nobody has. They've just read that one blurb that's going viral.

However, there's one blurb that's going viral wherein Tom Sandoval compared himself to OJ Simpson's murder trial and George Floyd. So in the asked, he was asked why he thought his affair with Raquel had gotten so big in the media, and he said, I'm not a pop culture historian, really. But I witnessed not, but that's not even the craziest part. But I witnessed the O. J. Simpson thing and George Floyd and all these big things, which is really weird to compare this to that, I think. But do you think in a weird way, it's a little bit the same?

This is like a manic person who's deeply mentally ill and narcissistic. The fact that the New York Times profile, Tim, I think, says a lot about the state of journalism. Like the New York Times, this is all the news that's fit to print. And also, maybe there was a time where a profile on Tom Sandoval would have been interesting. That time has passed. Like, get with the program, New York Times. So hearing they didn't edit his words, like kind of, you know what I mean? This is how this person's speaking. This is a crazy person.

This is a crazy person. And then the follow up quote from the editor was like, he clearly has lost perspective.

Yes.

If he thinks that this is as big as those things. And he put out a statement and this is what he said, my intentions behind the comments I made in New York Times magazine were to explain the level of national media attention my affair received. The comparison was inappropriate and ignorant. I'm incredibly sorry and embarrassed. Honestly, like, facts on that statement I can understand as how scandal, what he thought he was saying. Because here's the thing. Scandalval was huge. Top five news stories of the year. News too.

Yeah, I know what he was trying to say.

It was bigger than it should have been. It was the biggest thing that was happening. It permeated all levels of media. Like, scandal is on CNN, it's in the New York Times. Like, it was very. Yeah, like. And other things that were very, very massive were.

But it was just like. I would have chosen different, honestly. Like, the OJ one wasn't the most far off.

Yeah.

The George Floyd one, not the best. But I'm trying to think what I would have compared it to, honestly.

Like.

Well, no, because that's also, like murdery. Like the Murdoch trials. That's how much everyone was talking about it. I'm trying to think of a megzit.

Yeah. I think if he had stuck to OJ, it wouldn't have raised the alarm. Agreed. It's kind of like he's comparing himself to George Floyd. It's a crazy thing to do.

It's psychotic. But also, if you've been keeping up with this saga, specifically the mental health of one sandoval, like, this isn't like he literally thinks of himself. You see, even in the episodes, like how he walks around his house, he thinks he's seriously this Jesus on the cross. For real.

Yeah. And the thing is, like, for a moment he was. And so he. Yes, he has these delusions of grandeur. But the thing was so grand.

Yeah, but he wasn't grand.

No.

The thing that he was a part.

Of was so grand. Not in a good way, in a big way. And he already thinks so bigly of himself.

He does.

But for one moment, he was that big. But he doesn't realize it was all negative. And it wasn't even as big as he thinks it was. But it was extremely big.

It was extremely big. It was enormous.

He was trying to explain the size and scale of it.

But also so important to note, like, this isn't like a deeply smart person.

No.

Or well educated, or doesn't have their finger on the pulse. Of the tone of the culture. This is just a person who definitely lives in their own world and who thinks of themselves very highly.

Yeah. And I'm not a standoff apologist, but I can understand how he arrived at saying something so fucking crazy. And I just want to say I appreciate him saying something so fucking crazy because it's funny as, yeah, yeah.

I can understand how he thought that, how he got to that too. But a normal person would have used deductive reasoning to be like, maybe I should switch out these two examples because the point he was trying to make isn't lost on me, but it's lost on everyone now because we're just focusing on like, did you just call yourself George Lloyd? It was crazy. Yeah.

And honestly, I think that his statement, even though people will not care what he said and if they were offended by what he said, they won't forgive him. I think his statement perfectly sums up whoever wrote this. Obviously it wasn't him.

It wasn't.

We get it. The thing is, I have so many issues with Sandoval, this doesn't even register. I also have issues with like, I think he has a crisis pr team.

That'S trying to do something, do a.

180 on his Persona. For me, though, it's not like even if we can undo the effects of scandal, I'll get back to a good place with Tom because I didn't like him.

Yeah, we were kind of ahead of our time in that sense that we always knew there was something nefarious about him.

But I guess these puff pieces are meant for the people who were attending his shows before Scandoval.

Like those people, the fans. Like he had fans.

He had fans.

Yeah.

And I think those people are also the people who are going the hardest against him because they're just so invested in this world.

Yeah. And they were fans of him because they were fans of him and Ariana.

Yeah. No, but also fans of him and his extra.

To believe that there are people who are fans of the extra most. There's not.

There were people who were on their own. Like Tom was their favorite one on the show.

No way.

Sound up in the comments the extra most.

If you in concert, you are one of those people. Like, I need to interview you, Claudia.

Those people don't listen to this show. So they can't sound off in.

Thank God.

So they can't sound off in the comments.

Oh, that makes me feel better.

But these puff pieces are, I think, to win back those people, not us.

Got it.

It's just crazy that those people will not like this comparison.

Also, Raquel was, like, starting some drama on Instagram yesterday. Just kind of compiling all the times Sheena, because Sheena did like an after show. You know, Bravo has those weird after shows.

Yeah.

Just being like, the clowning on somebody for non stop talking about Sandoval. And then Raquel put together like a reel of every time Sheena, in the last couple of months has said Sandoval on her podcast. It's a million times. Sheena's podcast blew up because of scandal. A lot of those girls podcasted the Bravo Vanderpump girls. So there's, like, signs of life from Raquel as well.

Well, she has a podcast. She's got to get in the mix.

I'm ready for her to return to the show. Yeah, me too. I also need to catch up on the show. The episode was last night. I've seen what the general theme was and it was talk about. Apparently Tom Sandoval was suicidal during the saga and what that meant for lisa and stuff. And I think a lot of people are just, like, not believing him, which is kind of crazy.

That is kind of crazy that people are saying that. No one with a platform is saying that though, right? No.

Like, the fans.

The fans. Because they could say whatever they want.

Yeah. There's no.

Right. But I think that's like a cancelable offense.

Yeah. Like, I'm going to kill myself. No, you weren't.

Right. But do the rules apply to Tom Sandoval? I think that's where, as a society, we're struggling. And I think for a while, they didn't. And that's why people were saying, like, the downright nastiest things, too. And about Raquel, do the rules of.

Civility apply to someone who you perceive to be as, like, a villain? That's a good question.

I think they do.

I think they do, too. And I think that people took it too far with Raquel.

Right.

Especially if that person appears to be empathetic and sorry for what they've done. Right.

But also that person was a lesser villain.

Sure.

So it's easier to have a softer spot for her.

And she's also a girl, even if.

Yeah, no, I'm thinking about where I stand. I need to watch the episode.

Me too. We need to catch up. But we've been so. Love is lying to you.

We've been so. And we're just, like, enjoying each other. It's true. Are you ready for our next story?

Is it the next story about JLo?

It will be the next story about JLo. Because the next two stories are related in shameful music news.

Okay, I need to talk about. We need to talk about JLo, and we're going to get to this story in 1 second. But just like a little backstory that I feel nobody's talking about, which is a great preface for the story. JLo recently released a film and an album. They were like a joint project. And she's been doing press about this film, basically saying she had to fund it herself. And it was giving, like, Sob's story about women in media. I don't know. But essentially she pitched all these networks the idea for her movie, which is like a story of how her album came to life and nobody took it. And she's doing press saying the story, nobody took it. So she decided to bet on herself. She produced the film and financed it herself, $20 million on this film, and now it's like flopping.

And it's on Amazon.

So it's on Amazon. I am curious how much, if any, she made back. Like, how much did Amazon pay to license it?

Yeah. Well, here's my question. Why didn't anyone pick it up? Obviously, we know that nobody really was interested, but JLo is the sort of name that the industry just keeps propping up. There's a million. This isn't it. Actually, I really like Jlo, but some people, you'll never really know if there are or aren't successful, because they just keep shining and they keep getting opportunities. And it's like the same people regurgitated through the system. And she's one of those people, so why would they say no to her?

Well, these are tough economic times. I don't know why, like a network, when you think about all the crap. Netflix, Amazon, HBO.

Like, this is crap, too.

Yeah. So why is this crap different from all of their crap?

And it's like we take everyone's documentary and every major celebrity, and who's the bigger name, and Jlo's as big as they get. And also, she's had a really big year, and people are really interested about her and Ben. This isn't the worst idea I've ever heard.

Well, the film is bizarre, okay? It's like animatronic. I can't even explain it. It's not like a movie. I can't explain.

I see a still from it.

It looks like guardians of the Galaxy.

And it looks like AI.

Yeah, but wait, back.

Oh.

So I do wonder if perhaps her Netflix doc halftime, if it was crazy successful, you would use that data to pitch your next maybe it was a flop. I didn't watch.

True.

Like, I don't know. I don't know why nobody bought it. But it's crazy to me because I feel like there is no interest in a movie or an album from JLO, and we're going to get to the story that proves that. So I find it shocking that all these streaming services who spend money like it's nothing.

The book stops here. Yeah.

Like, how do they know or why they care now? They're always putting up crap.

They're always putting up crap. But they have the numbers to sort of back it up. And they don't really have to be accountable because it's like one show pays for everything else and they can spend.

Money blind, literally is paying for all of Netflix's original content. That and, like, Bridgerton.

Right. But they can spend money on things that nobody cares about, that industry things care about. And they just keep circle jerking each other with it because they have the big thing. So, yeah, it's weird to me that the buck ended here with her.

So all of that was in anticipation of this new album that she did all this crazy press for. She spent $20 million. And it's called this is me now.

And it's giving Demi Lovato like, oh.

My God, it's giving Demi Lovato, this.

Is the real me today.

And then in six months you'd be like, no, never mind. This is the real me now.

Ignore her.

Yeah, I hate when people do that.

I don't know her.

Yeah.

So Jlo's this is me now is suffering a career low, fans say, and the release can't be saved despite long list of a list cameos. So Jlo has attempted to come back that fans don't think her career will be able to come back from. She released her 9th studio album, this is me now, paired with a star studded Amazon prime special. Her lp has 16 tracks, a lot of features. However, this could not save it from its shockingly low reception upon its debut on Spotify. Many of the tracks have not surpassed 40,000 streams and lacks any chart topping singles aside from can't get Enough, which has 4 million streams. After that, the drop off is huge, with no other song on the album crossing 1 million streams.

First of all, and numbers, I feel are always inflated.

Because someone like Spotify could serve it to you in a playlist and it plays, but then you turn it off to the next song. But I think that counts.

And there are stands who will put all their phone devices on repeat devices to repeat. So I feel as though Spotify numbers are always really hyped up and inflamed. So for her to have songs that not reach 40,000, that's insanely low.

Yeah.

Not to make everything about me, but I did release a song and it did hit a million streams, and I'm truly nobody.

How long did it take to hit a million?

A month.

Yeah. Knowing she's Jlo. Halftime show, she's Jlo.

And I feel like she keeps. She's so I think, and I hate to use the word desperate because I don't think she's a desperate person, but she is desperate to stay relevant. I feel like she's always entering these new eras. Yeah.

She's not like, going to go to Vegas and retire and live off the land.

But the thing is, she is a pop star in retirement who refuses to retire. And I don't mean retire, go live in a retirement home. I mean, like, play the greatest hits, do a Vegas residency. Maybe you'll collaborate with another artist. You do a bunch of YouTube videos. She refuses to enter that era of her music career. And I think it's to her detriment, not just now. For a really long time, nobody has been interested in new JLO music. Like, the catalog is the catalog, and it's excellent. It's a plus. Stop.

I agree. I also feel like she's had so much success as an actress recently, and if I were her, I would do.

More of, like, the kind of the music career is done. It's not over.

It's done in a sense of newness. Yeah.

And if she were to kind of go about it like Lady Gaga, like, do a big project every year, that's a great way to stay relevant. You do the award shows, like when she did Hustlers, and I feel like that was a real peak for her. Hustlers in terms of her relevance.

No. And also, like, industry accolades because she has done a lot of things where she doesn't really get her shine. I feel like she has kind of the chip on her shoulder, too.

Really? I actually disagree. I think she could use a chip.

I don't know. I feel like with all that Oscar buz, she was shedding her chip because she really couldn't get serious people to.

Think I saw that she didn't deserve an Oscar. Nom, I'm sorry.

No, but it was a good movie and she did a good job.

It was an amazing movie. I enjoyed it immensely.

Yeah. And she deserved an Oscar nom for Selena.

Right. But I don't know that Hustler's movie was like her first foray back into serious acting if she had stuck with it. I love the Lady Gaga strategy. Like, one big project and you make it your personality for a year. A star is born. House of Gucci. Now it's the Joaquin Phoenix movie. You get to go to all the award shows. You still stay super relevant, but you're not, like, up people's ass and being annoying and you're doing something new. And if you're doing it well, what she does do it well. She was very good in Hustler. She didn't deserve an Oscar, but she was good. And she's a talented actress. We know this. And they're also just like.

So I wouldn't even compare them because I want new sorry.

I'm not comparing the two.

I don't think Lady Gaga should stop putting out new.

Sorry.

She has more to give us.

No, I agree. I was just talking about how Lady Gaga does this thing with acting.

Okay.

And I think she does it really well. She gets taken very seriously and she didn't have a lot of acting experience. Yeah.

Also.

When it comes to her music career, there's also, like, a lot of questions about it. We were talking about, of course. And people did let me know. Ashanti has actually been very vocal about and Christina Milion, two women who have been very vocal about their voices being on JLO tracks. There. Is there? So why not?

Yeah.

Let's stop reminding people.

It's time to look at the data.

And the data says this. No streaming services wanted her documentary or whatever it is movie, and her streams were abysmal.

Yeah.

So what do we, what would your recommendation be like if you were JLo's publicist?

I would take a breath. I would look at the things that JLo has been most loved for. I would focus on those things. Yeah. Maybe another acting project, maybe even a Vegas residency. Let's play the hits. Let's remind them we sing. Let's remind them we dance. And let's remind them they've never seen a show like this before. And let's kind know.

I think she did one. No, but she did, like a short.

Like, let's do a real one.

Oh, you mean like a Celine Dion one?

Yeah.

Brittany.

Yeah. And then we will forget about this chapter. This is a blip on the, yeah.

Yeah.

Let's do, like, more met Gala with Ben.

That's like what retired pop stars do.

Yeah.

And retired has a negative connotation and they don't. That way.

Jlo skin, beauty, beauty glow, also flop.

Like, big flop.

That's a shame, because she's someone that I would take beauty advice from. I don't think anyone looks more amazing than she does.

I think a lot of people felt like it was just like an obvious cash grab. Not like she was sitting down with the dermatologist, like, coming up with formulas. It just felt like a little. I agree, because she's the type of person who looks amazing. I would buy workout anything from her. I would buy skin things from her. She's a person who's really. I think a lot of women look up to who looks amazing for her age. And I just felt like that whole JLo beauty thing, like, the launch was kind of.

Yeah, yeah.

She's in her flop era. Okay.

It's fine.

It's fine. Happens to everyone. Viola Davis said it.

There's nowhere to go but up.

You got to flop. Yeah, right. You can't be up if you were never down.

Yeah. And at least she's up in her personal life.

True.

Like, she has more success than she would ever need. She'll be fine.

She'll be fine.

What this is, is. It's.

Yes, yes. And we need to pivot like Ross Keller.

In more embarrassing musical news.

What number is this? Four.

Four. Normani has been accused of running her own fan account.

I saw this whole thing unraveling live on social media last night, and I had to clench my butthole.

So Normani recently made headlines after wiping her official. Well, she didn't make headlines. She didn't, but she wiped her, because, you know, that's what artists do when there's a new error coming. And then a Normani Stan account posted a screenshot of Normani's blank Instagram saying, what is happening? However, the screenshot that the Stan account posted still had, like, the user logo on the top left corner. It wasn't cropped out, and you could see that it was from the at Normani Instagram profile. Thus, you know, she took the screenshot like, the person who was on Normani's account, took the screenshot of a fan account and acted like, what is happening? However, if you're on Normani's account, you know exactly what's happening.

So do I think that Normani herself is running two Twitter accounts, one for Normani and one for Normani Nation? No.

Is Normani nation, like, the official one?

I think. Okay. Do I think maybe someone on her record label, PR team marketing, one of her management team, does both? Yes. And that's embarrassing.

So it definitely was not her.

No, not like the girl Normani.

Not the girl Normani. But Norman. Team Normani runs Normani fan account and pretends like they don't like, at least Taylor Nation is tree.

It is Taylor's management that's like, in their bio.

Right?

And that's where you get all the news that you need on updates, on tour, on merch. It all comes from. It's verified. That's also what Harry Styles has. He has HSHQ.

Right. So this is not that.

No.

What is happening? It's just like, oh, my God, you know what's happening?

Like, you did it. Yeah. And there's also this running joke on social media about Normani because there was a lot, a lot of hype for her music career. Remember we had this really long conversation about it in their old, old studio in Long Island City, and she had released motivation and she had that really amazing performance. I think it was at the VMas where she was wearing those really cute basketball shorts. There was a lot of hype. They said she was going to be the next Beyonce. And there was like, beyonce was getting involved. And she has this tweet that people constantly refer to because it was basically like, you guys are not ready for this album. It will change the course. She didn't say this, but it was basically saying, it will change the course of music history. The album never came out. She has never released a body of work. And there's this running joke online, like, we'll get it when we get Normani's album. And so for her to be making moves now, finally, for this album that we've heard about for years, and this is the narrative, it's really unfortunate.

No, it's bad.

And whoever, and I want to state, I do not think it was Normani running her fan account, but it was definitely someone who works for Normani. They should be fired. Like, this is a fireable offense. It looks really bad. I'm all about, like, people make mistakes. Social media.

No, you had one job, Bill type.

And people just like. There are a lot of eyes on Normani because of this running joke.

No, it's bad. Unforgivable.

Unforgivable. I'm sorry. It is. Because you want to know why? It's more over.

It's embarrassing and there's no way around know.

Right. And even though we know it was someone who works for Normani, not Normani herself, like the culture that.

No, it's not even about the culture that people know, even if everyone knew it was Normani's team. It's like, what's embarrassing is she doesn't actually have a big fan account. Like, she's been propping herself up all this time, her and her. Like, not even that. Oh, we slipped on showing it. It's like, so where are the fans?

Okay.

Are the fans in the room with us?

And that just reminded me, and I can't believe I'm about to bring up Maddie Pruitt again. But do you remember when Maddie Pruitt, like, right after her bachelor season ended? She was really, really famous. She was caught also running her own fan account.

Yes.

In what way was she caught? She left a comment on her own Instagram account, but she thought she was commenting from the fan account, being like, oh, mads, you look so cute, or something.

Like, something to her sister, or.

Yeah, like, she was on the wrong account, basically, and commented, and people saw it immediately.

Got it. Embarrassing. But that's what happens when you're coming up in the reality. Like, yeah, you do embarrassing shit like that. Normani is a star. A star. She has teams. She has people.

Yeah. Unacceptable.

Like, what's Maddie going to do? Fire herself? Boom.

Like, oops. Yeah. No, it's true. It's true. You can just curse yourself, but this is an avoidable thing when you have a whole team of people.

Yeah.

It probably was, like, the social media manager who had to go and clear out Normani's instagram, because it's not an easy thing to do.

No. And then she wanted people to know, like, alert them. It happened. What is? Also, if we took a magnifying glass to the tweet itself, it's like, that's what I guess a real Stan account would say.

Like a teenager.

But would they? You know what I mean? It's like.

No, I feel like they would do, like, a bunch of letters, be like, guys, I don't know how people talk, but.

Right.

Something like that. What is happening?

Just a tough day for the pop stars.

Big l for the pop stars.

Yeah. But our fifth and final story is a big w. A big w is.

Brought to you by the biggest W. Taylor Farms. The biggest W. Taylor Farms chopped salad kits deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go across North America. They are really where convenience meets freshness. You know, I'm not a chef. I've never claimed seem to be. I really can't make a lot of things, but the salad in a bag from Taylor Farms, which is really something I never thought I'd eat. Salad in a bag. Because when you think salad in a bag, you think brown, you think brown lettuce, you think not fresh. Taylor Farms has mastered the salad in a bag. They have the best flavors. All the ingredients are so fresh and it's really idiot proof. Also, if you like to customize your salad as much as do like, you can leave some ingredients out. I also am always, like, grilling up chicken and putting it in my salads. You can make it your own. It's very customizable. And Jax, as a mom on the go, salad in a bag is the.

Meal for moms, the meal for me.

And I feel like once we started talking about Taylor Farms, like everyone's talking about it now. Do you agree?

I feel like it's like one of those things. We don't know what the name is, but once you see it, once you see it everywhere, it's at every grocery store. They have a Taylor farms wall. It's the most exciting wall. My cup runeth over while I've been here.

We go to Olivia's house for dinner, which is quite a bit. She always has a Taylor farms salad in her big wooden salad bowl. And it's just easy for her. It's delicious.

And I love to see people coming to Taylor farms on their own. But she did find it on her own and not through the toast. So I found that to be like, a little hurtful.

No, I mean, we invented Taylor Farms, but whatever.

Yeah, Taylor Farms. But it just goes to show, like, it's ubiquitous. And if you're not on the train, you're not living.

You can purchase Taylor Farms chopped salad kits wherever you like to shop. It is available at all major grocery stores. It's so easy to find. They have tons of different flavors, different size bags. So get your bag at Taylor Farms. Available at all major grocery stores. Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince. Our closet was chaotic, crammed with a bunch of clothes and nothing to wear. And the game changer was upgrading to high quality, affordable pieces from Quinn's. Now we have a wardrobe of luxury essentials that transition from one occasion to the next. And we stayed on budget. I feel like we were talking about Quince on the Patreon yesterday. Really. We are all about investing in good things. Not everything needs to be fancy. But certain items, especially clothing items in your closet, are really worth investing in. Because what, are you going to replace it every year? You're going to end up spending what you would have just spent if you bought the good one. And Quince is really in our opinion, the best place to invest in those types of pieces. So I have great pieces from Quince that are made really well.

I love my cashmere sweater from them. I have a great pair of black slacks from them. And those are things that you can style a million different ways. You can really wear them every day and nobody would even notice. And it's just cute. Like when I wore my cashier sweater, Paige Desorbo said it looked cute. And Quince partners directly with all the top factories, so they're going to cut the cost of the middleman and pass the savings on to us. So if you're going to invest, do it at Quince because I think it's more affordable option. They only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes, which we love. So indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com toast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince.com toast to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com toast checks real quick, what's your favorite item you've gotten from Quince?

Chunky knit.

Chunky knit. Today's episode is also brought to you by Caraway. So with so many collections to explore, there is sure to be a caraway for every kind of cook. Whether you're the moronic cook like me. Me who just needs a pan that's not going to get burnt on. Not going to get scraped on, because I am going to burn. I am going to burn. And if I ruin my pan, that's just so annoying. Caraway is really for the idiot proof chef, but also for more of the novice chef, like Jackie. Is novice the word?

What are you trying to say?

Like fancy?

No, novice is new.

Oh, I'm the new novice?

Yeah.

You're like the geriatric chef. Yeah, that's right.

It's just the insults.

Their Internet famous kitchenware is a staple. Hype to uncrow away is a staple for any home. It comes in a variety of modern shades to fit with. Whatever your design esthetic is, it's nontoxic, so they're made without toxic materials. It's easy cooking. So the ceramics naturally slick surface means that minimal oil or butter are required for slide off the pan eggs and easy cleaning. And it's well loved. Over 65,000 people have rated five stars about their caraway kitchen. So now it's time for you to try it for yourself. Jax, we've been cooking in your caraway. I made hard boiled eggs, I made taco meat. What else did we make? Oh, you made those weird eggplant me balls yesterday.

Yeah. I followed a reel of Nona's recipe.

It was a flop, but not because.

Of caraway did their part, and they didn't stick. And things caraway did, things Nona did ruined the eggplant meatballs.

Visit carawayhome.com toasty to take advantage of this limited time offer for 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for the toast listeners, so visit carawayhome.com toasty. Or just use the code toasty at checkout. That's T-O-A-S-T-Y. Toasty caraway. It's non toxic cookware. Made modern love caraway. Me too.

Like, just so much.

Jackie ran out of printer paper, so I printed the dear toasters, which we'll get to shortly. On the back of this, which is the printer information page, I was like.

Hopefully it's not confident and you're showing it.

No, you had a stack of papers. I saw a latker recipe. I wasn't sure which back I should use. I went with this one because it seems like you don't need this information.

Maybe I do need it, because I can't work my printer.

Well, don't worry. The IT department is here, and I purchased all the Jackie's I come printer out of ink, out of paper?

No, but she's been using it all week to print.

Let's talk about it. Okay.

I don't use it that much, so it had enough ink for me for weeks.

Yeah, for weeks. What was it, five days ago? I said, hey, jax, order more ink.

She keeps telling me.

He said it was running low. It wasn't out yet. So I gave you time.

No, but you kept telling me to order ink while I'm sitting here choosing the stories. And if I leave to go and order ink, then I go on a whole rabbit hole on my phone, and then the show gets backed up.

So I said, the next day, tell.

Me when I'm not doing this. And you never did.

So the next day, I said, jax, did you get that cartridge? Oh, no, I'll do it today.

The next day, I didn't say the same thing.

So the next morning, I come in here.

God forbid, the princess orders the cartridges.

Basically out of it. So I said, fuck it. I'll just do it. I ordered the cartridges. She comes in. I'm like, by the way, annoying. I got the cartridges. You're like, wait, I already did it. It's arriving today.

No, they were in the foyer.

So I'm like, okay. So I canceled my Amazon order, put the cartridge in, and then the printer stops working. So the last 24 hours, the printer hasn't been working. And this morning, I was like, okay, it department, let's go. I'm futzing with it.

Fixes a printer. It department.

It won't tell me. And then I realized Jackie bought the wrong cartridges. So when I put the new cartridge in, it was like, we don't know this cartridge. We are not compatible with this cartridge. So then I had to replace my order, and then I realized she's also out of paper, so I had to get more paper. And it's just been like, this terrible saga, and nobody should ever have a printer.

But you created this saga. Perpetuated it. Next time, why didn't you just order the cartridges to begin with? You're on printer patrol.

I will. Lesson learned.

Lesson learned. My cup is here. Yeah, my husband. I ordered a drink from downstairs.

Yeah, your husband came in when I was doing the ads, and I swear to God, like, I just saw a cup appear behind the door. My heart stopped.

Classic dirty.

You guys will notice if. Go back and rewatch the quincy ad. Like, there's a period where I just stopped talking. I was, like, actually really scared.

Zach brought me a coffee. I ordered it, like, 30 minutes ago because I've been up since six. So this is my third coffee.

Oh, man.

And I finished my second one. I need a drink. We talk so much.

We do.

I didn't realize the coffee is not just decorative.

No beverage.

We also need a fridge up here.

To do some actual work in this studio. You need to throw out everything in this studio.

But you'll see some things. It's like, okay, the old mike flags. Like, do I throw those away?

Yes. I was just thinking, like, that can.

Go in the trash that goes in our new storage unit.

I mean, it's a part of toast. Her story, but I can't think like that.

We only need one. No, but what I was going to say, yes, I should get a fridge in here so I can have cold drinks, but it's the restocking of it. Can you see me carrying, like, a thing of waters up the stairs? No.

You have a husband?

Yeah. Maybe I'll just put. We.

Should we go today to get a mini fridge?

Yeah.

You have, like, four outlets in this room, and we use every single outlet. Chargers, cameras, lights. We need extension cords when I change.

The setup, like, I have to change outlets and everyone is spoken for.

No.

Okay, project today, there actually is one extension cord here. And it's not used, the panel.

Wait, what?

There's a panel?

There's an extension cord. So you plug it in. So you use one outlet and you get two. An extension cord with two plugs. Like, no thanks. Oh, and it has like, two USB ports. Who the fuck needs that?

And also USB ports are going in the way of the horse and buggy.

Yes, they are.

Everything's USB z.

Do not give me an extension cord that doesn't have at least six plugs. That's insane.

There's a dearth of outlets.

Yeah. One, two, one was something weird all. There's actually not a dearth, I guess.

No, there's a lot of outlets in here. For a small, tiny room. There's six. And there's another one here. There's eight.

No, that's 12344. Yeah, I love outlets. No, I do. This conversation is fascinating, but no, like an outlet. Especially, like an outlet right next to my bed. Like, I'm obsessed.

Oh, yeah, but you don't want it to look ugly.

No, I'm sorry. Like, right behind my headboard, but in an accessible manner. Oh, to me, that's like pornography. Because I have my hatch, I have my phone charger.

Oh, my gosh.

I also have a bedside lamp, which is such a flat. Like, a bedside lamp is everything.

Everything. I have heating pad for heating pad for brew, and then if I want to treat myself, kindle charger.

Kindle charger?

Yeah, the universal charger, just for miscellaneous items.

And then now I need the USBC charger for my old Kindle and my new phone. Like, so dumb. So I need six outlets by my bed.

Wrong. They're wrong for that.

They're wrong for that.

We need to go outlet free.

Cordless.

That should never works, though.

Never.

And if you have a squeegee on the back of your phone.

Squeegee is really starting to piss me off.

Don't even bother. I know, but I'm like, such a content creator.

You are.

I'm a creator of content.

You are.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is kind of perfect news?

Perfect news.

Vanessa Williams will star in a reimagined devil wears Prada musical. So Vanessa Williams is going to be playing Miranda Priestley in a newly reimagined version of the Devil wears Prada musical debuting at Theater Royal Plymouth on July 9, the day before Turtle's birthday, 2024, ahead of a West End London. It's all London. So this is all happening in London. So I'm happy for the Londoners?

No. But this is, like, where shows get.

Brought to Broadway and this is where things could start to happen. So I'm hopeful that this will be a rousing success when it comes to Broadway because a more perfect casting, I couldn't think of.

So there's so much champagne first. Like, the sheer fact that the devil Wears Prada is being made into a musical and it is a star set of production. The music is being done by Elton John.

I just want to say it did already premiere in Chicago as a musical, and so now it's, know, picking up steam and it's heading to the West End.

And now they have, like, a celebrity casting.

Yeah.

And Vanessa Williams, who we all know as Willomena Slater from Ugly Betty and also, like, Miss America. And she has, like, a whole ton of accolades. We know her from. That is going to be Miranda Priestley. And I feel as though her time on Ugly Betty was preparing her for this role.

It's the role she was born to play. It's the role that she's already played. She's also extremely musical and has a beautiful voice.

Yes.

So she was meant to play this role on Broadway.

I'm obsessed. Do we need a devil wears Prada musical? No. And what's with Broadway like? Not being able to come up with the original concept and just being. Making old movies, mean girls, school of rock, Matilda, making them into musicals. I don't know who asked for that, but it's fine. If you're going to do it, do it like this. Elton John. Vanessa Williams.

Yeah. It's a slay.

It's a slay. It's a slay. And I feel as though maybe we're going to be spending Turdy's 30th in London.

You think? No, we're going to champion this and make all the english toasters go so that it does get brought to Broadway.

Yeah. I'm more excited about the Vanessa Williams casting than I am. What do you think of Vanessa Williams from Ugly Betty or Desperate Housewives? Like, what's your association?

Ugly Betty probably eks out just by a little bit because she wasn't like, og casting of Desperate Housewives, but then she actually had a huge role on Desperate Housewives. So it probably goes ugly Betty, then.

Desperate Housewives, she became a main character, but she's not. When you think of the four desperate housewives, she's not one of them.

Yeah.

Which was a mistake.

Oh, for sure.

And I think once they cast her, they realized that I think she actually might be in the cast photos. The COVID photos. She is for like the fifth and 6th seasons, whatever season she was on.

Yes, I believe that she is.

And so was that freak Catherine. She was the worst character.

The worst. But also an iconic role of Vanessa Williams. Is Hannah Montana the movie the publicist?

Yes. Of love. Love. What else was she in? She doesn't get enough hype.

Yeah, but she's in, like, look at her IMDb.

It's forever.

Pages long.

What do we know?

What are our faves?

Yeah. Hannah Montana. That's such a good call.

Such a good one.

That movie was also low key, star studded, like Tyra Banks.

Right.

And they were fighting over the right love.

Yeah. So that's exciting.

It is exciting. And what's more exciting is that it's the time of the show that I really have been waiting for the entire day. Dear toasters, which is our weekly advice segment every Wednesday. You can write into us deartosters@gmail.com. If you want to email us, if you want to submit on our website, it's thetostpodcast.com. And both ways of submitting are completely anonymous. So do it over there. And I'm going to start with the update that we have. So, as you guys know, I recapped in the beginning of the show, don't make me do it again. The last we heard from this girl was she didn't know what to do with this information. She found the condom on a trip.

With her husband, and they had a.

Valentine's Day trip planned. And our advice to her was basically, don't have sex with him because he just had sex with his rando hooker. And Rando Hooker, maybe sit on the information, see if he comes to you. It'll be very interesting to see how he acts now that you know.

Yeah, no, now that he's done it.

And now that you know about, like, you can watch him with that. I didn't anyone, I didn't know anyone wanted a further update into it until I saw the pod Friday. And now I need to deliver the rest of the story. First, and most importantly, I did not have sex with my husband during our weekend away. Luckily, I got food poisoning, and it was easy to refrain from that weenie of a man.

Did he poison you? Did she poison you?

Literally. Second, I wanted all week for him to confess his sins, but he never did. Monday evening, the other woman messaged my husband needing some sort of maintenance, and he ignored the message. I asked if he was going to go assist, and he said no. I pulled out the condom wrapper and slammed it on the coffee table. He immediately started apologizing, explained that the girl had given him a beer after the job, and that turned into multiple beers. She came onto him and, quote, it just happened. He said he didn't mean for it to happen, and he hasn't talked to her since. I freaked out and started crying. Ended up packing a bag and went to my sister's house. I called into work today, and I've been thinking about this whole situation all day. He's tried calling and texting, but I've ignored them. I haven't told my sister the full story because I'm not sure what I'm going to do. What should I do? What would you do? I'm a total mess.

Okay, so far, you're handling everything perfectly. So amazingly, I also understand you not.

Telling your sister, because once you do, it makes it real. And if you guys do end up working things out, but then your sister knows that your husband cheated on you, even still.

Even if you work things out, and maybe she will be less quick to forgive him. You shouldn't keep these secrets.

You didn't do anything wrong.

You didn't do anything wrong. And your sister should know the state of your marriage, because also, you need to be able to talk to her going forward. Like, okay, even if you work it out, we're back together, but I'm feeling this way. You need someone to talk to. I would tell your sister, even though, yeah, she's going to look at him, certainly, but if you forgive him, eventually she will, too. So that's not a reason not to tell her.

And I want to preface by saying, I'm actually not one of these people who's like, you cheated, I'm out. I do think people can come back from things. It's all situational. It depends on the person.

It depends on the existing relationship.

And my opinion here is that you should leave. I think that you have no children, so there's really nothing holding you to this man. Two, you're kind of newly married, and the fact that he really wasn't able to keep his dick in his pants for that long, this is not going to be a one time thing. I also think the way he covered up the crime and his reaction to you was kind of a letdown. Like, take responsibility. She gave me a beer and she gave up to me. Take fucking accountability.

I agree. Take accountability. But I believe him that that's what happened. I know that it takes two to tango, and he was the one who was in a relationship, but this woman has been preying on your man since she moved in. She saw a window with the beer, and I think he was so fucking dumb. Just like the way he made you feel bad because you had a weird feeling about her. He was so naive to what she was doing, but she was throwing all kinds of tricks on him.

For sure.

Personal accountability is important, but I think he never expected that to happen or intended for that to happen, and just is a dumb, idiot loser. But do you want to be married to a dumb. To a dumb, idiot loser? And before this happened, how would you have described your relationship?

Right. I just feel like nothing ventured, nothing lost. Goodbye.

Yeah.

Cut clean. Like, to cheat on someone so early in your marriage, it's like, why did you get married? No.

Dumb idiot loser.

Yeah. And then it's like, do you want the father of your children to be dumb? No, it's bad.

And that he would cheat on you. Not even come clean. I hoped maybe you guys would have a weekend and this would be eating at him and he'd be acting weird, and he would come clean and, like, okay, but he would have never told you. If he got away with it, what would he do it again. Right. And he'd let you ignore the message. But that's just the. That's just the first time.

That's what happens in an affair. Like, you freak out, you say you're never going to do it again. Then you get into a fight with your wife, and you run to the lady's house. Like, him not answering her text is not a check in his column.

Leave.

Like, goodbye. Really? It's giving such loser energy, and I don't.

I. I'm thinking the most recent conversation we had about cheating was, like, Victoria and David Beckham, and they worked it out, and it was fine. But listen, he's not David Beckham.

He's not David Beckham. And by the way, they had, like, kids, and they had a whole life together. You have to weigh. Could you not get past this? It's worth putting to bed everything. You two have been together. Sounds like you two haven't even been together that long. You don't have kids. You don't have a life. And the first opportunity. Okay, you're saying, like, the woman was the harlot who preyed upon him? I'm saying he takes two to tango. But the first time that happens, you're so weak.

You're so weak.

Like, ew. Honestly, it's an ick. Obviously, the cheating, the fact that you're, like, a big, dopey loser who has not even the smallest bit of self restraint. Ick.

No. And can't see that this person is like, how she's behaving and you just have bad judgment.

Yeah. And I don't think that's who you want to father your children and be your husband. And it's giving weenie of the week. Yeah.

Who used his weenie?

Who used his weenie? And I think you should leave him. We will not judge you if you don't. Because I do think people can come back from things, and I think there are a lot of people who went on to have.

If there are things worth saving, based on what we know, it doesn't sound like he's worth saving, but maybe you know other things that we don't. And so that's completely your call.

It's your call. And we won't judge you either way.

But this is grounds for leaving, for sure. If you think you're overreacting, you're not at all. You're actually, like, being really cool about it.

Yeah, you are.

You gave him a conversation you didn't like, key his car and burn his things.

And drag my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive. Yeah. But feel free to carve your name in his leather seats.

Yeah.

Keep us posted. Of course. Thank you for routinely keeping us updated like it means the world. And if you need us, we're here for you.

Yeah, keep us. Keeping us updated. Hopefully, like, Wednesday we could share more. You decided?

Yeah, but I would love.

But you also don't need to decide anything permanent this week, like stay at your sister, see how you feel.

You're so lucky to have a sister nearby.

Tell your sister, though, because the secrets, like, it, will poison you. And it's not your poison.

Right. And then you're keeping a secret and.

You didn't do anything wrong, and that isolates you from the people that you love. And then you're punishing yourself. Tell your sis.

Hey, Jackson Turd. I started dating a guy two months ago. As a finance girl, I love to talk about money. And my new boyfriend owns his own business. How long do I have to wait before I ask him how much money he makes? I don't care. I'm just genuinely curious. Love a girly who hopes he doesn't take it the wrong way.

I think you can ask.

Two months is like. Actually, I'm sorry, you can't ask.

It depends how serious you are. Two months. But once you hit exclusive, saying love you, relationship. Yeah, that's part of a relationship financial transparency.

I'm trying to think when me and Ben, but we were also like kids, we were in college, we didn't have jobs.

Zach and I told each other pretty early because we worked at the same company. Telling HR, it was more so very curious. Like talking to a.

Right, right. But which is like, you're really not allowed to do that. No.

You're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want.

You're not supposed to tell your coworkers how much you make.

Another rule of HR. I would never tell a coworker how much I made because I was never close enough with a coworker to have casual conversation, let alone that. But we worked in different departments, so we weren't competitive. But I'm just, like, curious.

Yeah. I think that it's not so much about how much time you've been together, it's about the status of your relationship. So are you in love? Are you exclusive? Are you moving fast? Are you moving slow? Are you just, like, dating? Or are you boyfriend and girlfriend?

Yeah. And when the conversation veers into financial territory, then ask. Don't just out of the blue one day bring it up.

Yeah, that's actually a really good point because then you look a little crazy. But I understand she's really only asking out of sheer curiosity. I'm a curious person, too. I get that.

But I do think that you can ask. I don't think it's an out of bounds question. Did she say what he did? No.

He owns his own business, so it's not like he has a job and a salary. So it's just like.

It's a little like you're not going to get a straight answer.

Right. Because people who own their own business ourselves. If somebody asked me how much I made, I couldn't tell you a number.

Yeah. And also, it's like the business might have made this, but we're putting it back into the business.

How much am I taking home?

Right? He might not be taking home anything because he's waiting to sell. You're going to get a whole run around.

He's going to give you the rig and roll.

You're going to ask, you're going to get an answer, and you're going to feel like you don't have an answer.

And you're going to wish you didn't even ask because you didn't get an answer. And then you're the person who asked. Yeah, maybe just wait till it comes up naturally. It will come up. It's a part of joining lives. Yeah, it's a huge part of it, actually. That's kind of my favorite part of love is blind. When they do the finances or, like, they just talk to each other about, like, do you have debt, student loans, credit card loans? How much do you make? Do you own a business? I'm, like, nosy. And it's interesting, but it also is a huge part of a life together. Do you own your apartment? Do you own your house?

Yeah, that is true. There are a couple foundational conversations that they have to have. They assume that they don't show us.

Well, actually, you texted me. I had totally forgotten because people are just talking now about Megan Fox, Chelsea. Like, that's all they're talking about. But there was actually a really interesting conversation on the third episode of Love is blind that we kind of breeze past because that couple's kind of irrelevant. We've gotten, like, no airtime.

I don't even know their names.

Jeremy. Jeremy and Sarah. And she was basically just, like, about politics. Right. Which I'm sure that they talk. Never shown it.

They've never shown it. I assume that every couple has that conversation and probably also, like, religion would be there. And unless it's, like, the thing that's binding them, like, Kenny and Brittany. Brittany. We don't need to see it. And also, that's really personal stuff. So I think it's better when they don't air it. But they just raw dog aired this girl's answer. No.

And she was also, like, very. I think she was. Did he ask or she asked?

He asked.

It's like, such a crazy. And then they went into abortion and just, like, these really hot button issues, and they seemed like they sort of were.

Conversation actually healthy. Was really healthy. But it was just, like, kind of unfair that they only aired hers.

No, totally. It was, like, kind of crazy. And by the way, those are the questions. You really need to be on the same page with someone. Those are, like, foundational things.

But I don't think that they. Well, maybe they aired this because. I don't think so. She's conservative, but the vibe I got is that he's not.

But he didn't say anything back.

No, they probably didn't air what he said because she said, I'm conservative, but I definitely have left leaning friends and I love them, and we can just talk about stuff. So I feel like that might be their story. I don't know if they get together or whatever, but maybe politics is what comes between them and that's why they showed us this conversation.

I won't answer you because I know more than you and I don't want to spoil. And I don't want you to read my facial reactions either.

Okay, I'm sure. Look, I feel like from what you're saying, he went with Blondini.

I'm literally not saying anything.

The blonde lady that also likes him.

Maybe if you finish the episodes, you.

I'm working as hard as.

I know. I know. Was that our third or a fourth? I can't remember.

Two.

Which one did I do? I did the update. That was two.

Okay, let me find finances.

How long does she have to wait?

Ask. But he owns his own business, so.

You'Re not going to find anything.

And every year is different.

Okay, final one. Dear turn and Jackie O. I had a baby six months ago. My husband and I have planned for multiple children. We are enjoying parent life. And recently I mentioned that I'm ready for round two. My husband mentioned my weight. He said that he doesn't think I should get pregnant until I lose the baby weight. I reminded him that I was smoking hot and in the best shape of my life when I met him. And he was a doughboy when we met. I need advice. Should I divorce him? Should I shame him, make him buy me jewelry, et cetera?

Okay, first of all, I hate him. I just want to say, this just gives me such a pit. It's not his place to say anything. And I just have to ask the question. Is he saying it because of esthetics or because of health? Because medically, it is healthier and safer to get pregnant. If you are severely overweight, it poses health risks.

She says baby weight. Oh, well, that's weight from the Baby. Not like I was thinking, like baby fat. Never mind.

But it's like. And only really, you can answer this question. I don't need you to update us. But is it because he wants you to be hot esthetically and if you start to gain weight at this weight, it's obviously going to be more. Or is it because it poses a risk? Like, really, how overweight are you? Sorry to ask that question. Because if it's the first one, hate. Goodbye. I hate you. Yeah. If it's the second one, it's so annoying to hear, but it's not without merit.

Yeah, but there are ways to say it. And if he was saying it in the health concern kind of way, he obviously failed.

I just don't think there's a way to say it that's ever going to. I know that's ever going to feel okay. Where it's like oh, well, he said it, right? Like, no, it's still the same message. Even if it's a dog shit message.

It's also, like, something you really have to come to on your own. Because I speak from experience where I was, like, I used to think, like, yeah, I'll get pregnant. But now when I think back on my weight loss journey, so much of it was like, I really couldn't. Not from a fertility perspective. I don't know how safe it would have been for me to have gotten pregnant at that weight. And I'm not pregnant. I don't plan on being pregnant. But it's something I think about.

Yeah, no, and plenty of people are pregnant, and they get pregnant overweight, and everything's fine. And it's not necessarily, like, a bad thing, but it can pose higher risk. So that's just something to think about.

But it really doesn't sound like that's what he was saying from. It sounds like he was giving for the esthetic.

Well, then he can go fuck himself, and I hate him. Okay.

She cursed.

No.

In the swear jar. Was that the only time you cursed?

No, I think I've been cursed. Seeing this man for, like, totally.

And I totally was not, like, paying attention to the whole.

Right, that's what I mean. Like, I don't pay attention when I curse.

Let us know in the comments.

And it's your body, so it's not as if you're not aware of these things.

I know.

So it's like, for him to say, it's like, okay things. Captain obvious things.

Dick, go fuck yourself. No, totally, totally.

And it's like, if it's your body. So if you decide that this amount of weight is, like, okay to get pregnant again. I didn't lose all my Harry weight before, but I got to a place where I was like, okay, this is a good amount. And I feel comfortable getting. It's my choice to make. Yeah.

Also, I just feel like nobody's ever sat someone down and talked to them about their weight. Even the person who does it in the best way. Like, really coming from a place of love and concern for their health in a hypothetical people have.

But there's just.

No, I'm sorry. Let me finish.

Okay.

Even if they did it in the best way and gotten through to the person, it's really something you have to come to on your own.

Yeah. And there's no good way to do it.

Nothing anybody could have ever said to me to make me think that, to inspire me to go on my health journey. It really was something that took me, like, ten years to come to. And some people come to it faster, some people come to it slower, some people don't come to it. No one sitting a person down, it doesn't help.

No, it doesn't work. And he needs to get that memo. And for you, it's like you'll make the decision within yourself. It's like some people want to gain the weight and then lose all the weight before they gain more. Some people want to just kind of, like, pile it on and then I'll.

Lose it all when they're done.

Different strokes for different folks.

Yeah.

Or you don't have to lose a weight.

Right. Or some people don't, and they're fine. But also, some people don't have the issues we have. It's just like I had a baby and then I lost some weight.

Like how I had a baby and then I lost my baby weight and.

It just fell off.

No, but it did not even fell off. Like nine months on. Nine months off. Unless I work at it, I won't be losing the rest of my baby weight.

Right.

But not everyone's like that.

Yeah. It's so crazy.

So you decide for yourself how you want it to go, and then you tell him how it's going to go, and he'll be lucky if he's still around to see how it goes.

And he'll be lucky if he's around to father child number two.

Right.

Sorry you're going through that, girly. Sorry to all the girlies who are clearly struggling today.

So, like, annoyed.

Do you know we need lunch.

Speaking of gaining weight, lunch, I think.

We'Re going to go to the farmers market or something. Like, I'm hungry.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to take Turdy to a market so that she can get turdy tings.

And I'm excited about that. Thank you so much for listening to the testimony. When you tell this guy, we are.

Without further ASMR, we bid you ado. Bye. Love you. Bye.