Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday. That's right, it is Wednesday. It is Hump day. It is middle of the week. You did it. Congrats, grads. How you dern jacks.

You're doing it. We're on our way to the last things we're doing. The week. It the days of the week. I wonder if we'll ever mature enough to stop talking.

I don't think so.

It's german. The episode that's part of being a weekly podcast. Daily podcast.

It's part of being human, first of all. And second of all, I like how you say mature. Like, I think it's probably the most mature thing about us, how we're so self aware, we're always observing our surroundings, our circumstances. I think it's really indicative of not only, you know, high maturity, but also high intelligence.

Not mature. Evolve past, you know, because everything. The jokes change on the show all the time, but kind of like, the one constant is the day are the days of the week.

And I guess, like, Hubermeister isn't on his podcast talking about the days of the week, even though I think in.

An odd sense, he is, but he also drops weekly. We can't compare ourselves to those slackers.

Yeah. We can't compare ourselves to people who don't work nearly as hard as we.

Do to weekly slackers.

Yeah, it's getting slacker. Rack attack. And blame and shame.

And blame and shame. Speaking of my favorite person to blame, who's my favorite person to blame?

Ben.

It's his birthday.

It is his birthday. And then, you know, I feel like we use this platform a lot. Really is like a punching bag with our husbands. And honestly, I feel like it's the best things for our marriage. Honestly, like, I think you and I both have, you know, knock wood, knock would really help these strong marriages because we have a platform in which we can just commiserate and vent. I mean, then we don't go home and take it out on our husbands like other women do. Like, for real.

It's true, I think.

But today, let's make an exception. Today is Ben's birthday, and actually, Ben was supposed to be on a work trip. He was supposed to leave at 05:00 a.m. This morning. But there's, like, a crazy storm up here in the northeast. Like, he can't go anywhere. It's been postponed. So I had planned nothing, like, for the actual day. So I look like a piece of shit.

No, he must know that. Yeah.

You know, of course but we made last minute lunch plans. I've got a last minute balloon delivery on its way. And on my way to lunch, I gotta go buy a gift, because I was. I was planning on spending the day buying him a gift.

What are you thinking?

I don't know. I, like, was really nice when I was in St. Bart's and I was at Prada, like, buying myself things, and I bought him a Prada wallet, which I should have just held the fuck onto, like, a big dope. But I got home, and he was like, how was your day? And I was just so excited. Like, I was like, I got you a wallet. Then the next day, he actually left the wallet in a cab. Thank God we found it. We tracked it down. But, yeah, that's just kind of husband I have. Oh, my God, I have to stop. Today was supposed to be positive.

No, for sure. I just feel like you shouldn't buy him some designer today. Like, I feel like if we think you should, you know where you should go for his birthday gift? Where to, like, William Sonoma or Sir La table and get him, like, a really cool kick, like, cooking gadget.

That's a great idea. But then it becomes my problem.

Why they have beautiful things. You could find something that would be cool for cooking.

I really just thought, do you know what he bought? We have a kitchenaid mixer that we got. It was on our registry. Like, you know that $500 thing that everybody puts on their registry?

It's a rite of passage.

Ask me how many times we've used it in our seven year marriage.

Probably zero.

Zero. It's still in the plastic.

Once you use it once, you will use it more. But first you have to take it out of the plastic. You have to see, like, how life changing it is.

So we've never used it. And Ben decided over the weekend to buy a new attachment for it. A meat grinder. He's like, we can make our own sausage.

I'm like, you're never gonna make sausage. Are you gonna be eating sausage?

Of course not.

That would be the craziest, like, thing that would have been. That sounds like an April fool's paint. Claudia's making and eating sausage.

But I do kind of love the idea of going to, like William Sonoma. I'll add it to the list. But, wow, he took a real digression there.

It's so hard not to get him, like, a gorgeous premium olive oil. Okay.

I feel like I could do better than that.

No, no, no. Like, a really fancy olive oil. Like, he would. That's thoughtful. It helps you.

By the way. I love it.

Really fancy olive oil.

So backtracking before I started complaining.

He loves a good knife.

Yes. Backtracking to before I started complaining. I feel like, you know, a lot of the days, we come out here and we say, good guys, this, good guy's that. Not so good guys. You know? But today, I wanted to say this. Ben, I know you'll never hear this, because you don't support my podcast. And it's another issue in our marriage.

Ben, because the people who rat on us will never send the nice things that we say.

On the off chance that this, you know, makes its way across your desk, let me say this. I love you. You're a great husband, a great father. Really. A really great father. I hope this year is filled with joy and happiness and peace. You know, Ben and I were talking last night. It was a tough year for Ben. He lost the o, which really was, I want to say, much harder on Ben than it was on me. I mean, it was really hard on me, but Ben took it, really. You know, Ben's never lost knockwood. You know, I've been through it. He hasn't. So I hope for this year, happiness. Joy. Success.

Prosperity.

Prosperity and peace and health. And I love you so much. And you're an amazing husband. Even though I joke, really, ten out of ten. Couldn't ask for anyone better. Except for Joe Manganiello. But, you know, let's not bring him up, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. No need to, like, compare Ben to, you know, who's the worst husband.

Honestly, it's Brock from Reba. Like, I can't get over it. He's so awful. Just awful.

I was gonna say, like, Scott Peterson, but have you seen.

Oh, man.

That there's, like, a movement of people who are believing Scott Peterson now. Like, it's come full circle, and now they're thinking, maybe he didn't do it.

Okay. There's also, like, a movement of people who support Osama bin Laden. Like, who gives a fuck, you know?

No, I'm saying this is really making its way.

The mentally ill are going to stay mentally ill, and as long as us mentally, well, people remember that, and we don't let them get to us, we'll be okay, you guys.

Yeah. So I'm glad that that's not been all such.

No, it's not. Well, TBD. It's not. He's the best. Yeah, he's the best, and we love him dearly here at the toast. He's. You know, he's always there for us. He. Phil's in when we need him to. He's great for the content. He's always up for a good joke. And, you know, Ben, I love you. I really do. I love you, Zachary.

Happy birthday, Ben. Owen Spritz is celebrating in a big way, Zachary.

They are biggest sale of the year, 24 hours. The code is BSc 32 stands for Ben suffer. Celebrity is turning 32 32, and that's a big discount. We don't really do that. So BSc 32 at spritsociety.com. If you want to do anything nice for Ben's offer, you will, like, go to the website, click around, maybe buy something. Like that means more, like, spritz means more to Ben than I do, you.

Know, and that's not true, honestly.

For his birthday, she just plays a mega order on the website, like, you should. Ben is, like, always, like, monitoring Spritz. And, like, when people there. Some people order, make his day. Some people order, like, for bachelorette parties or even for their weddings. And they order, like, bulk amounts, and Ben will go to, like, the highest amount and, like, literally add product to their order and send them a thank you note. Like, he's obsessed. I'll do it. That's my gift.

Whatever you were gonna spend at, like, Louis Vuitton or Williams Sonoma, spend at Spritz.

Love that.

And then, like, send it to, like, a worthy toaster love. Cause I'm sure you don't.

Planning a wedding.

I'm sure you don't need more spritz in your house. If it's anything like my house, we're stocked more spritz than water, so it's a great day.

I'll be out with the celebrity all afternoon. I had to clear my schedule because I got to take care of the birthday boy, so that'll be great. We're going to lunch. I do have half of his gift purchased. I mentioned it on the Patreon. I'm going to give it to him today. So should I say it? I don't want any bitch these bitches to spoil it.

Let's put trust in the audience. Even though I trust the audience, I just don't trust the rats. But, like, let's give them a chance to not disappoint us.

No. And, like, by the time this episode is up, I'll be giving it to him an hour later.

Yeah, I think we're fine. And he won't be on his phone, because he'll be with his darling wife.

The first half of the gift that I got him is, of course. Just so happens Ben's birthday week, Olivia Rodrigo is performing at Madison Square Garden, like, four different nights.

Oh, yeah, I knew that.

So I'm getting. I already got those for Saturday night.

Oh, I knew that. I thought it was gonna be something. I didn't know, which is why I.

Made you say it.

But, yeah, we did take a big chance now.

Oh, fuck. Should we cut it out?

No, I'm saying, like, let's see if people have learned.

Yeah.

And then if someone does message him, well, name shame and blame them.

Oh, by the way, if somebody does message, I'm like, I will be sending them. I'm gonna find their name and then find their address, and I will, like, get on one of those, like, monthly annoying prank mail things where they send you a glitter bomb, a bag of shit, you know? Like, I will do that to you.

So just be prepared. Love it.

And I'm a woman of my word. Like, I will follow up.

Love it. Name shame and blame.

So we've got Ben today. We've got dear toasters. They're fabulous. We have an update. We have a couple of really funny ones. We also have stories. Describe them for me. And perhaps, let's say six words.

Wow. Six. Okay. Um. They are good. They're not great.

Oh, a conjunction. That's, like, six and a half words. But I'll allow it.

I. I'm within the box. You put me in the box.

You know why? I'll allow it.

Why? Because I love a conjunction junction. What's your function?

Thank you.

We finish each other's sandwiches. I want a sandwich.

I would not turn us. Oh, and also, we're going out for, like, the celebratory lunch. Well, I don't want to, like, get stabbed, so I'll tell you. Okay, let me tell you. We've eaten there.

Of course.

They have a few locations in Manhattan.

Is it one of our usuals for.

No. Okay, I'll just text it to you. I love texting.

I love texting. And this is, like, this is not. People will find out on your instagram later where you went.

And it's a place where, like, the food is, like, really indulgent, especially, like, you know, pasta.

Which one? Which one?

The one.

All menus are a little different.

The one near, you know, us.

Okay. Oh, that's really fancy.

Yeah, I know. And it's raining, so I look like a piece of shit slob with my moon boots.

Oh, they're gonna see you in the back.

I know. It's one of those restaurants where it's like, oh, they'll clock you the second you walk in. Gap tooth bitch to the back. Yeah, yeah. No Delvey thing. It's not vip. It's not, I don't like you. I don't like you. Actually, that's not Anna Delvey. That's Michaela. That's the mater d at the restaurant you're going to. Adam, Mikayla's favorite thing to say is, I don't like it. That's when she's like, stop, Claudia. Like, please stop. She goes, I don't like it. I don't like it. And I guess I maybe took it too far one day, just like, with my love and devotion. So instead of saying, I don't like it, she literally pointed at me and she was like, and every time I recreated, I put it in the Anna Delvey voice. But she did have a little bit of Anna Delvey to her. She goes, I don't like you. And honestly, the room went still silence from everyone. It was chilling. Cause she really took it up a level, not only with the accent, but also, I don't like it. It's different than I don't like you.

You dead in the eye. Fingering yourself.

Wiggled her for I don't like you.

Went around the room. Who's it gonna land on?

I don't like you. And now we can't say it. And that's exactly what the Mater d at this restaurant would do. It'd be like, oh, leggings outta luck. Yeah, I'm wearing leggings. I needed to wear something tucked into my rain boots. Like, I can't. I'm just a victim of circumstance.

That's so you. It's like you feel like that gets you out of, like, victim culture. If you blame it on victim of.

Circumstance, what else am I supposed to wear in the rain? Walking around working. I'm a working woman. I have bills to pay. I'm not just this lady who can, like, walk around in stilettos with her driver, you know?

Yeah.

And those are the type of people that eat at this restaurant.

Yeah. You should see their mean of transportation when they leave. Like, what are they changing their shoes?

They're not like.

Or they're wearing, like, chanel wellies.

No, there might be wearing Chanel wellies. Or they're literally wearing stilettos and they'd walk three steps to their driver.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm a working woman. I'm a woman of the people. I'm a woman of the streets.

You are.

But I am wearing Jenny Cain. So, like, yeah, maybe I see it at the front.

That brings up the group average.

It does. It does. You look cute today. Pretty in pink. Are you experiencing, you know, days of rain like we are?

No. Am I? No, I'm not. But I did place a huge order of new clothes, like, daily clothes last night. And so until it arrives, like, I'm just like, these are placeholders, you know.

These days don't count.

I don't need to, like, try and find, like, a bus in outfit. Like, it's all coming. I'm just need to get there, you know?

Okay. So I'm at the phase.

I kind of, like, gave up, but I get it. I got my slut strand, so that, like, gives me a couple points.

I'm at the phase where I desperately need to clean out my closet. I can't buy stuff because I'm out of hangers.

I know you said I can't, but I bought more.

Number one rule, you cannot buy new clothes until you're. If you don't have hangers in your closet, like, loose to hang up the new clothes, that means you need to purge.

However, I have purged, like, a lot, just over time. And I'm in a place right now where I have so many clothes because I have so many size clothes. Like, I have all of my old clothes, which I. Right. I feel like it's a loophole and I get a pass because I have all my old clothes, which, as you saw, like, I'm still going to wear them one day. I give, like, they're for everyone. They're great clothes. Then I have, like, my clothes that I wear right now that I need. Of course. Then I have, like, pregnancy clothes. Of course.

By the way, you're allowed that. I understand. I'm not experiencing a transition like that.

You never know what you're gonna need and when. And, like, I can't be, like, buying new stuff again. Like, whenever.

Where do you put the new clothing?

So I have the hanging space because I do have a big closet and I could, like, smush. Things aren't totally smushed yet.

Okay.

But I don't want to get to a place of totally smushed. That's not ideal. But I need a array of sizes. Like, I literally have everything from extra small up until extra large. And I need it that way right now.

That's fair. That's fair. I just need to devote some time because I placed a very, very small order from Zara because I needed, like, a. I needed, like, two capsule collection item wardrobes and if you like, Zara is a good place. Like, before you spend money on, like, a big, expensive thing. See if you like it from Zara. So I just got, like, I needed a pair of nice black, like, trouser shorts, and I needed a nice spring coat, and they're just sitting on the dining room table. Like, that drives me insane. Insane when there's no space for it. And I don't like shoving it into my closet because you shove it and then you don't ever, like, you can't see it. So you're never gonna wear this new item that you just bought.

Why do you have those nice spring coats? From theory.

I do. I do. I was, like, 60 pounds heavier when I bought them, so they're, like, a little big on me. I still wear them.

They're the kind that could. They're kind of, like, one size.

I still wear them, but, like, I want something new. Like, something a little bit longer.

Something like a hood. Out with the old and in with the new.

Goodbye. Clouds of gray, skies of blue.

Okay. I can understand that. I can relate.

And also, we just got. I got so much clothing. Rails is one of the new toast sponsors, which actually, they're sponsoring. Their first episode is today. We're obsessed with them. I get so much clothing from them, and they sent me clothing, which is like a dream. And it's literally sitting on my dining room table. It's pissing me off.

Pretty much already worn everything that they sent.

So did I.

Ready for the next round?

So am I the one outfit that.

They sent that we both have? I think I've worn it five times, and I got it. I wore it twice two weeks ago.

I wore it twice and haven't taken any pictures in it yet, so, like, I'm ready for a third.

Haven't taken any pictures in it yet. Every time I wore it, I was with different people.

Yes.

Same. Like, I could wear it again.

You know what maybe I'll wear to tonight? Ben's birthday dinner with his family.

That would've been a good thing to wear to your fancy lunch.

Yeah.

All that to say, I personally, I kind of love lunch better than dinner. Like, I love going out to lunch better than going out to dinner. I like lunch menu items better than dinner menu items.

Okay, that's really, really interesting. I I don't know if I like dinner more than I like lunch. Are you talking about also, what day the week is it? You know, hypothetically?

Weekday.

Oh, weekday. No, my weekdays. Like, especially with, like, my new health journey, where I'm really trying to figure out. I'm on weight watchers. Trying to figure out, like, how to stay healthy and. But also full. My weekdays revolve around my dinner. Like, when bed is done working and we make dinner. Like, it's the highlight of my day.

Well, like, the restaurant you're going today to, I would rather go there for lunch than for dinner is what I'm saying. Like, I love, like, lunch fare and I love lunch lighting.

I also feel like people, like, I don't know if this is just, like, a me thing. I always feel like, yeah, I can have, like, a bigger lunch. Cause, like, by the end of the day, like, won't even count, you know?

Yeah, but I'm not even going to have a big lunch. I want a light salad, a couple apps, a tuna tartare, maybe, like, one. Like, that's just what I like, you know, I don't eat steak. I don't eat meat. Like, right. So the dinner options, what am I have pasta. Like, it's just heavier. Less for your girl.

I feel that.

And your girl has been left behind. Yar girl.

I like it like, yar girl. So having said that, I do feel like we should get into it. We have a lot to do today.

And you have to make it to said lunch.

Right, right.

Keep talking about it. Totally. So without further Adido, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know spoiled it a little bit before, but are brought to you by rails. So, you know, we love luxury, and rails makes luxury essentials accessible. They're an LA based brand that blends their California roots with an elevated european esthetic. And the fabrics feel as good as they look. All right, so how did I discover rails? I bought one sweater from rails at Saks a million.

Like, for Jay Shutty episode?

No, no, for our, like, first trip to Utah. And I wore it, and then I became familiar with the brand, and then it's just become a brand. I always go to whatever website I'm on. Like, I'll always go look for it because the stuff is good. It's really good. It's not insanely priced. I feel like it's well priced. It's really well made. And then when I was in LA, I took a. I was somewhere else, and I was like, I have to go to LA. And I had no clothes for LA. And the brand reached out and they're like, we'll help you, Trudy. And they totally outfitted me. Yes. For Jay Shetty. And it's just slowly turned into one of my favorite brands.

And it's one of our favorite brands to say rails.

Rails. You can build your closet with elevated staples like luxe button downs, statement making sets. Oh yeah. My favorite cashmere cable knit set, top and bottom that I wear literally once a week. Rails, you can get event ready in their dreamy silk, in their dreamy satin dresses. Excuse me. Basically, if you're shopping for spring, go to rails.com right now. That's rails.com. Shopping from their website directly is the best and major news. We have a code, and I feel like they don't give out codes to just anyone. So rails. Rails.com dot. Our code for 15% off is toast 15. That's toast 15 at rails.com. To take 15% off your order with code. Toast 15. Today's episode is also brought to you by hatch, which today came in handy for me so much because my room was pitch black because it's raining, the sun has not been out since Tuesday, and it won't be out till Friday. And waking up on those types of days where my room is really dark can be hard, but not when you have the hatch, which wakes you up in the most civilized, humane way possible. You know, there's no, it's very light.

They wake you up with light and with sound. And between the mix of the two has changed my life. Added to the list of things that Jackie told me about that I didn't listen to, so many things keep us up at night, our endless to do list, social media favorite tv shows. There's a million things that don't want you to sleep, but hatch does. They're going to help you choose sleep and create bedtime habits that make you feel better at night and energized in the morning. So the hatch restore, which is the one that I have, and I believe it's the one that Jackie has, too, helps you build sleep habits, so they help you unwind before bed and then wake up in a really sort of peaceful, dreamy, spa like way. It'll help you with screen free bedtime. With the Hatch plus subscription, you can unlock premium routine building features like cue to unwind, which signals when it's time for you to go to bed, and pillow Talk, which is an audio series which is just like your favorite bedtime tv shows, except it's without the screens and it does not keep you up.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Our first story, Brittany Cartwright describes the breaking point fight with Jax that led to separation. So Brittany Cartwright has revealed the moment she reached her breaking point with Jax that prompted her to separate from him after five years of marriage. She was on watch what happens live on Tuesday and she said, we just had a horrible fight and was like a veil was lifted and I noticed everything wrong. They always say a woman can hit her breaking point and it's hard to come back from that. I feel that she said that the fight served as a catalyst for their separation, involving a night during which she had gone out with Kristen Doty. She said he kind of made up a story in his own head and started a fight over something that never happened. We thought about everything, she added, calling their marriage a very toxic situation from which she needed to remove herself.

Well, okay. Well, that's like, I feel the first time she's really directly sort of explained what happened. And I don't know if, since I heard that they were separated, if I believed it, even though I had been told by people that I know that, like, that it's for sure for real. But the way they're acting is just like a little thirsty. But they are out here promoting this new show.

Like, they're trying to make it titillating.

So I was catching up on Vanderpump rules last night, and it was the scene where Jax comes, which I kind of loved, by the way. I was giving very much Sheena Moore walking from Brandi Glanville into sir. So Sandoval was like, you know, you haven't stopped talking shit about me. And then they cut to a clip from Jax's podcast. I had totally forgotten that the production company from Vanderpump rules had reached out to us asking if they could license our episode with Jax, that they needed to reference it in the storyline.

Sandoval the entire time.

We couldn't have signed the thing faster. We were like, yeah, of course. And my heartbeat, I was like, oh, my God, this is it. But it wasn't. And I feel like maybe they just decided not to use it because if there was ever a moment that it.

Was, yeah, no, I watched it and I had the same thought. But I'm pretty sure I watched it after it aired and I'm like, oh, it must not be here because everyone would have been sending it to us.

So I was two weeks behind and I was like, oh, wait, no, definitely not because everyone would have told us.

I don't think they're using it at all.

That's too bad.

That would have been really a value add for the show. Like, for their show.

That was such a great episode.

Like, would have loved to see it. It just would have been.

It would have been good for the whole community.

Yeah. Missed opportunity. Are you all caught up on VPR?

I didn't watch last night, but I caught up for the, on the first two and honestly, like, I was bored to tears. Like, I guess the big reveal. No, no, I was already caught up on that. The big reveal of like, Katie fucking Max. Like, who gives a fuck? I didn't even know I know Max because he was, you know, on for one season. They got fired, but I didn't know him and Tom Schwartz were even like that close of friends. Like, I don't care.

Yeah, well, it was that me, the.

Most interesting things and Sheena also don't care. Also like Lala, like, and I love her and I honestly, I find the whole, the most interesting part of this whole show is her and Katie's relationship. She, like, real. She said a few years ago, it was twelve years ago. And honestly, I feel like Lala did Sheena dirty in that moment, honestly too.

But I think in that moment she had a really good friendship with Sheena and a pretty good friendship with Katie that she was trying to maintain salvage. And it's like, if you want to be a good friend to Katie, yeah, you do. Go take it to Katie before you go and talk to Sheena about it. But I think if that were to have happened even today, they obviously are in a fight, her and Katie. But I feel like in that moment she was didn't know like where her best friendships were going and she was just trying to like be a good friend, which is the right thing, friend thing to do. But like, Sheena's your closer friend. You need to be more protective of Sheena.

Let me ask you another question, and by the way, we'll talk about Dancing with the Stars because it's so funny. Do you feel like Sheena was actually mad at Brock for bringing up the Max thing or she was just being like, coy?

No, she was mad at Brock being boy. What?

Like, oh, we didn't want to make this a storyline?

Like, no, I think she was mad. Like. Cause I think she also.

Don't you think they would have had a conversation about that, like, in private?

I think it happened the night before. It's something that they both noticed. I don't think they expected either of them to say. But Brock saw an opportunity to, like, give Schwartz a talking point because, like, he's just getting, like, railed on. And it's like, actually, Katie's not perfect either. I think Sheena did not want it to come up then in that way. So uncontrolled, like, and if ever. Because I think Sheena also at this point, like, wants Katie and her friend work. Yeah. Yeah, I know she seems, like, seriously mad. Big mad.

But I do. By the way, I think Katie is, like, justified in wanting to fuck Max. Like, I. I don't think she owes Tom anything. Especially, like, she said, like, last year while we were still being separated, I asked Tom not to fuck anyone in the group and he starts dating Raquel. Like, I thought her explanation was totally justified. She's obviously vindictive and, like, honestly, she has every right to be. But there was something else with that I found to be so bizarre. The dog, by the way. Does anybody else, like, kind of ship Lala edgewater?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

I don't think they would ever work. And I'm pretty sure she said, like, she would. Could eat him for breakfast, which she wouldn't. She could, but, like, there's something really sweet about their relationship. And crazier things have happened on this show. Like, they keep cycling through. Like, I wouldn't be the most surprised if that was, like, the next iteration. And I'm kind of obsessed. Even though I maintain that Schwartz and Joe need to get married, have children, and live happily ever after, they're perfect for one another way.

Like, I think Jo is weird and whatever, but, like, I actually felt really bad for her when Sheena, like, didn't stop with the braids and the hair, like, in the cap. You're a hairdresser. Like, shut up. Like, who cares?

Yeah. And it just comes off, like, really nasty whenever it's everyone against one and they're talking about her in front of her. And I'm sure, like, Joe has done them dirty in over the years. It's just not a good look. Like, oh, the ring and the talking. Like, it's just, yeah, just don't. Don't talk about her then if you don't like her.

Tom Sandoval going up to Ariana, like, about the house and I want to talk about the house. But my butt hole was, like, clenched shut. Like, it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire life. And honestly, doing that takes such balls. Like, only a truly crazy narcissist would have no self awareness and be able to do that. And I loved every minute of it. What is going on with the house?

No, it's insane the way that they're living with the person they hate most in this world. They can't even go to a party together, yet every single night they sleep under the same roof. Just the two of them.

Yeah.

In last night's episode, like, they got into another crazy heated thing. Like, Tom left. Like, Ariana was just, like, raging, raging, eviscerating him. Like, there's nothing he can say. He leaves and it's like she's gonna leave and every, like. And they're just gonna be together, the two of them.

And I feel like a lot of the fandom feels like Lala's commentary about, like, brand deals and stuff is her being jealous. And maybe there's an element of jealousy from some of the girls because it's like, kind of crazy that, you know, Ariana, who really, for the most part, up until recently that gave nothing to the show and, like, wasn't, you know, bleeding out. Like, other people going through stuff is now, like, hosting Love island and getting all these opportunities whereas, like, lala's been through stuff. I can under. I actually can understand the jealousy. I really can.

Yeah.

But I don't think it's coming from a place of jealousy. It's coming from a place of facts. Why? And by the way, she's, like, with all the brand deals, Ariana can afford an apartment. Cut to one month ago. What did we just report? Ariana bought a house. A million dollar house. Like, she back. Whatever this was filmed, she was able to afford a house as well. Like, I'm confused, of course.

And Sheena said last night, I feel like they're always talking about, like, the brand deals. Like, she's fine. She's, you know, doing well. But Sheena then was saying last night, like, in one of her commentaries, like, the Tom cheating on Ariana was the best thing that ever happened to her. First of all, like, released her from this horrible, horrible person. Horrible person, horrible relationship. Like, so unhappy and miserable. It made her into like a national hero as opposed to them just like, breaking up and no one caring and, like, having to move on with your life. You get all, like, you're winning. Like. And Lala said that she was like, you've won. Like, look at him. Look at his life. Like, you're on top.

It's so true.

No, and.

And I think that maybe the resentment and the anger that she still holds is, you know, like, she loved this person. Like, I get it.

I get it.

But, like, taking an outside perspective. You're right. Like, Ariana went. Or whoever said it. Sheena. Like, Ariana went from being, like, a low level cast member on a show that was dying. Like, for real, the show. I wasn't sure if I was gonna watch that season, like, a really, like, a dead show to not only being on the biggest reality show of all time, but being the biggest person on that show and getting opportunities on Broadway, just buying your own million dollar house, dancing with the stars, love island, every brand deal you could ever imagine. Like, her anger towards Tom is bringing her down because it's making her, like, kind of a misery.

It is. And everyone's saying it, and it's so true. She needs to, like, release it. Not for him, so that he can feel comfortable around.

No, for her.

Like, it's. It's palpable and it's not a way to live, especially in a new relationship. You have this much anger towards your ex. Like, how can you even enjoy what you have?

And that's. I feel like what Lalo was saying, I think maybe a lot of, like, her anger and just, like, misery stems from her relationship with Katie, who's also holding on to all of this anger. And I have to say I feel like Tom Schwartz's relationship with Tom Sandoval was a huge factor in Schwartz and Katie's divorce. But to blame entirely sandoval for that divorce is unfair. Like, it takes two people in a marriage to break it up. Not the husband's friend.

Yeah.

And I think Schwartz, the way he disregarded his wife for people like Sandoval is a huge part of it.

But to.

And I feel like Katie really blames Sandoval for the demise of her marriage. And I don't think that's fair.

No. But I think it's easy to. He's a very hateable person.

Yeah.

And I think that Ariana and Katie are very united in their hatred and just, like, being haters at the moment.

Yeah.

What's crazy is, like, years ago when the toms, like, when they were married to the toms, they actually didn't like each other. They like each other and then they slowly, like, got on the same page and then they had to be, like, the wives of Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. They were always together, and then they saw, like, their husbands being stupid, so that, like, united them further. And then they were like, oh, you're doing a restaurant. We'll do something about her. And now it's just funny. Like, it.

It's. There's thickest thieves through, like, the strangest of circumstances.

Yeah. And wouldn't have ordinarily been the best of friends.

Something about her. Like, I loved Lala being like, we've literally tried these sandwiches. A year ago, they obviously had the sandwich tasting just to keep the restaurant a storyline on the show for, like, publicity. Where is the restaurant? Honestly, they kind of look like clowns for how much they clowned on Tom and Tom and same. That place is open.

Yeah.

And I just want to say Jax has a bar that he literally got open in six months. Like, and he's always posting on instagram that he's there, and, like, it's a full fledged facility.

Yeah. And the thing about something about her that they kept saying is, like, you know, it's gonna be smaller and we're gonna be more responsible with everything.

Right.

And where is it?

And I didn't even realize. I only realized when I was watching last night that it's in the opening credits.

Yeah.

And it looks great.

And I'm starting to feel like if there were a reason to hold up a license, you know, like, city bureaucracy, that we're holding it up. Like, they would tell everyone that. They'd be like, you guys, we're so excited. But this, that, and this is happening. The fact that there's no communication about what's holding it up, like, I think bodes badly.

Very poorly. And I forgot who said it, but Lisa was right. Like, they got a lease. They've been paying rent on sun or West Hollywood Boulevard, whatever. That street, like, one of the most expensive. And, yeah, it's small, but it's a storefront, store level. Like, it's expensive. You've now been paying rent for over a year with now making a dollar. And they sold a little merch, actually, so that with something. But, like, what in the world is going on?

Yeah. And then the other thing was the thing with the dog and also becomes, like, a bigger storyline in this episode. Like, she call Ariana, like, calls him, like, an attempted dog murderer.

Oh, yeah.

And when she said, like, he tried, like, that they're her children. And that, like, this person, like, when she was talking to Lala, she was like, those are my children. And, like, this person, like, tried to, like, didn't care if my children died. It's like, if that's how you feel, why'd you leave them alone in a house with a sociopath?

Well, that's one point. But also when she was saying, I feel like that whole situation where Tom put the dog in Ariana's room and there was food on the nightstand, well, that's just, first of all, Ariana needs to clean up her room.

I mean, lala says episode, like, didn't you get a trash bag sponsorship? Like, throw it away.

Throw it away. I have to say, it seemed like a really, really unfortunate series of events, not a manslaughter. Like, I just was like, honestly, whatever was going on in the house, sometimes you need to put a dog in a room. And this is Ariana's dog. And putting Ariana and Ariana's in the master suite. Putting the dog in Ariana's room, I didn't think was like a crazy thing to do. Should he have known to go look around for food? Honestly? No. Either this is not a kitchen, it's a broom. Like, it was just, it felt like something really unfortunate, not something malicious.

Oh, I agree.

But this is just, I feel like this is Ariana's anger manifesting. She just sort of like released it for herself. Like, she wouldn't. Because honestly, this was. You always want to blame something when someone like, something like this happens. Like, I remember when Theo had cancer, we're like, who can we blame? Yeah, who can we blame?

And imagine if the person you hated most in this world was partially responsible. Like, easy. Yeah, of course.

But, like, in reality, that's really not the case.

No. And again, like, all of these things that she's, like, angry about or holding on to, like. And this negativity in her life would just be gone if she would just leave the house until you guys sort it out. And the way that they're living with the boxes and.

Oh, and Ann.

And Ann.

So Ariana asked Ann for recommendations, for assistance, and Ann wants to be put in the running. And we do know that in real life, Ann does work for Ariana.

Oh, we do.

Oh, yeah, I knew that. Did you not?

No. Because in this episode, she's interviewing Ann in the kitchen. Tom Sandoval comes out of the gym. He's standing on the landing, the staircase landing, and he's hearing them and saying how she, like, wants to work for such an amazing girl boss. And of course, oh, my God, and.

Would want to work for a girl boss.

And then Tom Sandoval is like, then has a conversation with Anne, like, saying, like, I think we just need a couple days off. Doesn't even fire her, anything. And Ariana goes and tells the group like this, you know, attempted murderer, dog murderer is eavesdropping on my conversations. It's like, well, you live in the same house and you were having a conversation out in the.

With his employee.

Like, I'm sorry, it's absurd.

No. And, oh, my God, wait, that's like really crazy. Yeah, no, she. And I was surprised in the episodes that I watched, there were two events that she went to that he was at.

Yeah, well, she has to if she wants to stay on the show. And it's not fair for her to be pushed out of the show when she didn't commit this act of adultery. So I'm with her, like, yeah, fuck, I have to go. And then she gets mad at her friends who invite him and put her in this situation. And I get that on a human level, but on this is your job working. We're making a show here level. Something's gotta give.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know, it's. I don't know how it even could cause, say, she releases the anger and she moves out of the house. I still never want to see her speak to this person again.

And you have to work with, how.

Do we go forward with the show?

Yeah, well, also, the more I watch, the more I really believe the rumor about the reunion where Lala and Ariana just have like a knockdown, drag out fight because Lala's coming at this from, I think, a similar place as we are, which is just like a little bit more at a glance, you know, and a little bit more sympathetic to everyone, including Ariana. But Ariana's not the only victim here. You know, like, and everybody makes fun of Sheena, but, like, I actually really. The dancing with the Star sing, I didn't understand, but I did understand, like, her being sad about her friendship with Sandoval being ruined. But Ariana is right about the fact that Sandoval is definitely using Sheena as like his gateway to filming and events and Tahoe. Because the more people who can tolerate.

It, they don't have to love it.

But the more people who Schwartz is tolerating him, Sheena will tolerate him, the more stable he is in his job on the show.

Yeah, James will tolerate about him.

Ariana's right. And the Kushina is sort of like the weakest. Like, she's so sweet. Like, she's not a mean spirited person. She's. Yeah, a little self centered, but like, she loves hard, you know?

Yeah, no, I agree with that. It must be incredibly frustrating and I just, these are, this is like not normal circumstances. Usually when you exit a relationship you then just move on with your life. You don't have to then film a reality show together.

But. So if Ariana like really wanted zero personal ties like she would have to.

Leave the show and watch and that's not fair.

She shouldn't. No, but Sandoval's not leaving so we need to now we're in the place in the show where we need a resolution.

I think that's how everyone feels and I keep like putting them, it's frustrating now every episode they're trying to put them in the same room and get there and like last night it was so bad.

Like it was, oh, I can't wait.

A barrage.

Love.

It was, oh my God, like seriously uncomfortable. Like seriously.

I just like wish Ariana had this energy when she was dating Sandoval because somebody desperately needed to put him in his place. He acted worse with Ariana than he does without. Now he's kind of on this apology. Honestly, nothing he's doing is bothering me. Before he was a monster with Stassi. Remember in that book event? He was horrible and she just kind of sat there and like let him act that way? No.

And I said this a few weeks ago but I keep thinking about it. A few weeks ago I accidentally watched an episode from last season and I watched a few minutes before I realized I was watching the wrong episode because it was Katie and Ariana in something about her talking about how Lala told Ariana that Sandoval barbecue, leave the barbecue when he had a ride and he lied about that when she was dealing with her dog and her grandma and he stayed there with Raquel and Ariana was saying to Katie like I don't want to hear these things. Like, like she was mad at Lala for even telling her, like no, no.

She was so unreasonable and she was kind of the woat when she was like up Sandoval's ass. Like never told him. That's what a good partner does. Like you tell your partner in private like when they're being wrong and encourage them to like do whatever. She was just like awful and like not enabled but just did nothing. And so now it's like, yeah, you know what, we've been knowing and it's like frustrating because now we're over it.

Like and now he's been handed his.

Justice beyond like I feel fine.

He's been punished. I don't think a person was cheated has ever been punished in such a way?

No, but he was punished for, like, that, but also, in my mind, for, like, the years and years of atrocious behavior.

Agreed. Like, he was knocked down 1000 pegs.

Yeah, no, he's like the biggest weenie. I don't even know how, like, anybody could look at him and honestly not feel sorry for him.

He has his weenie parties.

Oh, wait. I'm so glad you brought that up. That pool party with Billie Lee and her friend and then those two girls.

From Instagram, like, and he's, like, telling them the story. Is there any way anyone in Los Angeles doesn't know who Tom and Ariana are and what happened between them?

Not even that. Like, not to be so mean, but, like, the whole. It was giving. Like, where did you find these freaks? Like, it was just. It was a circus. Like, I didn't even know who these people were. Like. And everyone was just, like, acting crazy and, like, taking shots. And I was like, okay, stop. Like, stop, stop.

Also, he was flirting.

Oh, I was in pain.

It's really painful. Like, when you think about, like, his, like, romantic aspect of his life, it's like he's heartbroken over Raquel, who, yeah, loves. And, like, she is disappeared and, no.

No, it's so crazy.

And he's trying to flirt in the.

Pool and he's saying, like, yeah, I'm murdering my ex girlfriend in the bedroom upstairs. I crushed potato chips and put them under the door. Painful.

Seriously painful.

Okay, well, Jax and Brittany are still. And by the way, I've heard the valley is very good. I'm not gonna watch it.

Like, half of the first episode, I.

Got the gist and feel like you would like it. It's like people who are, like, your stage of life.

No, I didn't love it, like, any of the characters yet.

Yeah, I mean, besides Jax, Britney, Brittany and Kristen, like, I'm really not interested in meeting new people.

I need to go back to it and remind myself why I didn't finish watching it. Because there was a reason. Because I do, like, yeah, I love, like, seeing new mamas. Like, you know, got baby here. Give her. Like, I love. Like, that's so interesting to me. And there were new cast members who looked, like, interesting people with, like, things going on. The just the dialog was giving cringe and it was like, we're excited to be on a reality show. And it was giving, like, old school reality show where we're just, like, saying stuff because, hey, we're on a reality show.

And I'm excited. It's giving, like, charity in Dallas, and.

I'm wanting it to work out.

I feel like they were talking like that.

Yeah, that was really the issue. But they have to find their feet, and I can't. You know, it's hard. Not every show can be Vanderpump rules. Like.

No.

Are you ready for our next story, which is one of my favorite stories?

Yes.

Unintentional comedian Kelly Ripa is being hysterical today because they aired a rerun of her show today because I guess there wasn't a new episode and no one, like, double checked what the episode was. And in the episode, it's from June 2023. She is, like, begging for an invitation to be on Diddy's yacht.

I didn't know what you were gonna say. Like, if they reran the one after, like, 911, I literally didn't know what you were gonna say.

No. So Kelly and mark on vacation this week. They've been re airing old interviews from live with Carrie and Kelly and Mark. But it seems someone wasn't paying attention when they picked out the videotapes because on Tuesday, they aired an episode from June 23 in random, respawningly begged for an invitation on Sean Diddy combs yacht. Meanwhile, his homes were raided last week as part of what appears to be a sex trafficking investigation.

Oops. Wait. I also think it's kind of crazy. Like, by the way, Kelly, Mark, like, take a vacation for sure, that they rerun episodes. It's a topical show. She does, like, kind of what we do at the top of the show, talking about what's going on in the world. News, pop culture, celebrities, like, light stuff, and then there's, like, a guest interview, but it's, like, not the type of show you can re air. We've never re aired an episode of the toast.

Like, that's weird, especially not from a year and a half ago. Like, maybe air from last week.

Yeah, yeah. That's, like, really, like, bad programming. Like, care less.

What else should they do, though, if they are taking the week off? Guest co host. Well, yeah, hard to program, too, if you don't have one person who's used to doing it. That would be like, if we took off and two people just sat in our chairs.

No, but, like, if we had. Not us. Like, if she had Ryan come for a week. Yeah, and Ryan had different co hosts or Michael. If she didn't leave it so bad with Michael Strahan. Like, if you had, like, friends of. And I feel like Jerry O'Connell comes on all the time to, like, replace Mark or someone. Someone comes on as, like, when Marcus sick or when Kelly's sick. I think they had one of their kids. Like, they have friends of the show who could come in with different co hosts. Like, I don't know. I feel like they should be trying harder for their audience.

I think this is standard stuff. And we never would have even known if it wasn't just for this, which is so unfortunate.

I did not know that they re ran topical, you know, shows. I don't feel like they ever rewrite an episode of Wendy with the. With her stories. That's so crazy. That's so lazy on behalf of cable. Like, do better. Whoa.

Not to hit him with the do better.

No, do better. Like, seriously, Jackie, if we took a vacation on our show was owned by ABC, we would literally be like. And we had unlimited resources. Would be like, let's get Stassi and, you know, Taylor Shrek. Or pay them.

Like, yeah.

And that being said, ABC, we are available for purchase, merger, and acquisition. I'm down if you. Okay, great question. If you could have any media company, whether it be a streamer, a network, whatever, purchase the toast and, like, be them. Like, we get to still do the show every day, but then we have access to whatever, you know, like.

Like, probably NBC is the most. Yeah, but, you know, Disney, ABC, Hulu. I'm down.

Like, if we could have our show live on something, like, we are exclusive, let's say, to YouTube, or we're on the YouTube homepage. Every day. We're on the Netflix. Where would you want to be? Like, any network, streamer, or social media platform? Like, if we're the official daily morning show of.

I know people would, like, think we're gonna say Bravo or E, but that's not thinking.

No. And every show on e flops.

Like, it's just small potatoes. Like, I want to be worldwide. Nationwide.

Yeah.

Where's everyone right now?

Honestly? Everyone's at Max right now. Max is having a moment.

Every streamer has, like, a different Max and Easter's.

I would. And by the way, the show would be like, the morning Max. Like Max. And he says, yeah, I. I think Max. That's almost what I was gonna say. But also, I wouldn't mind being a part of, like, an apple or a roku or prime, because then they put you on everyone's devices. Yeah, devices.

No, that's good. Obviously, I would take a Netflix. Ever heard of it?

Of course. Of course.

Netflix.

And they are getting into live programming.

Hulu X does a lot of live, like, long form videos. You don't want to be there.

No one really watches it. It's just like, I don't know. We wouldn't have an engaged community on.

X. I don't think that's true. But I think you want, like, a piece of that, you know, Hollywood glitz.

And Hollywood, for sure.

Hollywood, yeah. What about tick tock? Is there set up for that?

No. No. But we would reach the kids, which would be nice because they need to be spoken to.

Do. But, like, is it our job?

No, it's not. And I also feel like just part of being a kid, it's just like being radical, you know?

That's true.

Like, you. Like, I always worry about Gen Z. Like, I see these stats. Like, they're so anti semitic, like, they're insane. But sometimes I just want to chalk it up to them being young and dumb. Like, that's like Woodstock, you know? All those 16 year olds were taking dumps out in the open and, like, doing Molly and acid. And then a few years later, like, they all got jobs and most of them came back down to earth.

Yeah.

So I feel like. I don't know.

Yeah.

I like to think, like, these young, crazy, really dumb kids are just radicalized, and they'll. They'll come back down to earth.

But I feel like, to a degree, yes. Like, when you are young, you don't. You think you know everything, and you don't. That's a classic trope, but are we getting to a place where it's, like, more than just the classic trope? Like, it's giving.

It's definitely a lot.

Our youth, huh?

It's a lot. It's a lot.

Yeah. It feels more than usual, but I hope. I like your interpretation of things.

Yeah.

Just. Any further thoughts?

I mean, I did, but, like, I don't want to get into it.

I feel that I'm exhausted.

Yeah. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? Like, exciting news on a number of levels.

Yeah.

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's look like kids. Harlow and Sparrow make their red carpet debut at the premiere of don't tell mom the babysitter's dead last night in Los Angeles.

So of course, you're, like, worse.

I had to do a little digging. What is this? They've remade the movie. Nicole Richie is playing Rose. I'm right on top of that rose.

Right on top of that rose. Oh, wait, so who's playing Christina Applegate?

Who's playing Christina Applegate? Is Simone Joy Jones.

I don't know who that is. Hold on. What a great movie. That movie raised us. And I'm right on top of that.

Rose the poster for the movie, the tagline. Let me know when you're ready for it. Yeah, respect your elders.

You're liable. Wait. I also want to see what Nicole Richie's kids like. She doesn't really show.

They look like Nicole Richie and her husband.

Really? I mean, I would hope it's crazy.

When that happens, but it's really cute. They're literally.

Oh, man, the girl is gorgeous.

They're mini me.

The girl is gorgeous. And the guy is literally like a in simple plan.

No, like, if they ever wanted to make a movie about their life and, like, they're. I guess they would be brother and sister playing. Never mind.

I take back what I can't. Oh, and Lionel went to the premiere.

So did premier love.

Oh, how did Sophia look?

I don't think she writers carpet.

Oh, I'm obsessed. I love. Nicole Richie is one of my absolute favorite celebrities on the planet.

Yeah, no, I know. And so this is very exciting. Like, we love the movie. Don't tell mom. The babysitter's dead. And I'm so glad they're remaking it for the younger set. But, like, if you haven't seen it, I think you should watch the original first.

Yeah, you should. Not to sound like such a grandma. It's Christina Applegate. Who else is in that movie? Who's the mom?

Let me see.

I'm obsessed here. 1991. Sue Ellen.

I'm obsessed.

Sue Ellen is Christina Applegate's character's name. And who else is in this movie? Nobody I know. Let me see jot. Yeah, you don't know anyone. Oh, David Duchovny. He's literally in everything. But that's really it.

It's so good. I'm so excited. I wonder where watch it.

I think I just. When I was looking at the background, it's bet exciting.

Only in theaters April 12.

Oh, and it's in theaters. But the. The backdrop said bet.

Yeah. BT's original films in product. In Tyra Banks's production company, Smize Productions, our executive producer.

You're lying that it's called smize production. She's so iconic.

So iconic. This is just tens across the board.

Agreed. That's exciting. I loved that movie.

Yeah. Our next story, Lizzo is breaking her silence to clarify that she's only quitting negative energy moving forward. So Lizzo said she quit last week. People were like, she quit? And some people were like, no, I think she's just like, a figure of speech that she's, like, done with this shit. And that's exactly what it was. So she shared a lengthy statement on Instagram and a video saying, I want to make this video because I just need to clarify. When I say I quit, I mean I quit getting. Giving any negative energy attention. What I'm not going to quit is the joy of my life, which is making music, which is connecting with people, because I know I'm not alone. In no way, shape, or form am I the only person who is experiencing that negative voice that seems to be louder than the positive. And then if I can just give one inspiration, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course I believe her. That she didn't mean she was quitting music and that she's just like, I quit. I get it. But for somebody who's, like, quitting negative and toxicity, like, she keeps making content about it. Like, I seriously, like, she needs to take a break. Like, she's just in. She was really, really famous for a really long time. And, like, as always, like, ability is a prison and yada, yada. And then she was accused of some pretty heinous things. So, people, we just need a break from you. And she doesn't go away. Like, she keeps posting and she's trying to, like, elicit sympathy, I think, and it's just not working. So just, I feel like it's always good for celebrities to take a break.

But she, like, won't or she's taking a break. I feel like she might be just, like, scaling back but not gone because I think would also be, like, kind of an admission of guilt to go. And she's maintaining her innocence that these people, like, she said in last statement, I was saying things about her. So I think she kind of needs to, like, stay making content while also, like, staying positive. And I don't think it's going so well yet, but I think maybe, like, starting today, it's gonna be good.

Okay.

I think the I quit threw everyone through a loop. Not me, though.

Not me.

I knew she was quitting negative energy and haters. I just knew it.

Yeah, it's a child.

I quit.

I had just seen the news headlines before I saw her statement. So everybody said, lizzo quits music. I'm like, okay, Lizzo's quitting music.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you gotta go to the primary source club. This is what they teach us. History major. I learned, like, that's what I've got out of my education, and that's what.

We were talking about.

Yesterday, reading comprehension and also reading between the lines. Harder but important.

Harder but important.

She did say I quit.

She did.

But there was more. There, there.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

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Our fifth and final story was some news that was quiet that I think they'll be mad that were blowing up. But JLo quietly rebranded her tour as a greatest hit show amid week ticket sales after canceling seven dates of her first north american tour in five years. In week ticket sales, JLO has renamed it to apparently broaden its scope, changing it from the this is me now to this is me live, the greatest hits.

So I don't know if prior to this she was planning on playing the greatest hits or if this was gonna be a new album tour it's giving.

It was gonna be and now it's not.

Or maybe it was gonna be and they didn't put it in the title and they thought people wouldn't know. I can't imagine JLo would go on tour and not spend at least half the show playing her greatest hits.

Yeah, I think she would have played a lot of hits. I think she also would have been marketing the new album. I think now there will be more hits and less albums still. Album. We're still gonna. This is me now. But, like, generally majority hits.

Like, I really feel this is a very good step. I've been following, you know, the rise and fall of J. Lo over the last couple of months very, very closely. I think it's one of the most interesting things. I just don't know why I find it so intriguing. And I happen to think this is a brilliant next step. And it, you know, gives me hope that whatever direction her career is going to go next is more to this icon level. I don't know why she's still doing the same thing like Ariana Grande is doing. You know, who has way less experience in her. Jlo's been around forever. Like, she should not be doing the same sort of prototype as, like, you know, releasing an album, press tour, arena tour, like, the same cycle, like, the one Direction cycle. Like, what are you doing? You're not in the same strategy differently. Get off the roller coaster. Like, you are different and you're very much, I feel like, in the Celine Dion realm, which is an equally good realm to be in now. You don't have to go to Vegas and do, like, a boring residency, but you do have to act different.

And so the fact that they're now branding this as great as hits does give me hope that they're seeing her career, whoever's running her. But I feel like it's actually her, but whether it's her management, they're seeing her now as in this different category. Not retirement, but icon. That's a better.

Yeah, that works for me. All of a sudden, this concert sounds good. Like, we're gonna hear the J.

Lo hits, right? And J. Lo is known for being such a performer. The fact that her performances were not selling well, when I think that's probably.

Her biggest strength as a talent.

Strength and. And allure. Yeah, it's very concerning. So I would like. I wouldn't buy a ticket, but if somebody said, wanna see Jlo, here's a ticket. I'd say, honestly. Yeah, I know most of the songs. If it's the greatest hits tour, and she's a fabulous performer. The dancing, the singing, everything. Razzle dazzle, the hair, the clothes. She knows how to perform.

Yeah, this is sort of like a. An issue with Con, like, touring albums. It's like, I want to hear, like, general things, like, what if it's not my favorite album and I didn't get to see you on the last album tour. But I'm seeing. That's why the Eris tour is really great. Like, it doesn't matter what I missed.

It's also very, very artist dependent because, like, I think of. Because the next concert I'm going to see is Morgan Wallen. And I didn't go last time, but he did a big, big, like, I had my chance. He did a big ass tour for his last album, and his last album was enormously popular. This time, after doing, like, the most with the previous album, he's now doing the most again with the new album. And you know what? I feel like that's fair, but it just depends on the artist. Like, if your most recent album was a flop, but you have, like, tons and tons of hits. Like, do both, for sure.

But I just think of, like, luke combs. Like, I absolutely need to hear this album live. And if I don't make it on this tour, like, I will have missed my chance. And, yeah, the next tour, like, he'll play some of this, but I need this album.

Yeah.

So I guess I'm going to Jacksonville.

Jackson turdy and Jacksonville.

I'm down Jackson dirtyville.

Mmm.

Yeah, no, like, that's, I guess, what I need to do because his tour just said he's like, he really didn't consider me, honestly. And it's fucking rude.

But by the way, back to what you were saying, it's completely artist dependent and album dependent.

Yeah, but you felt that way about tailored before eras. Like, you didn't get to see the red tour and, like, how badly, you know, the red tour. I know it's just a necessary evil. Like, it just is what it is. But.

But maybe Aristor is, like, really shaking up the industry. Like, people are seeing, like, oh, oh. You know, like, maybe I can do this.

Like, yeah, but I also think maybe some people don't want to work that hard. It's a lot of work, what she's doing.

By the way, do you think they.

Even remember all the lyrics to all their old songs?

That's like some artists talk about how they don't. Joe Jonas talks very openly that even recent songs, like, he cannot remember the lyrics. And I know Miley a lot of times has a, um, teleprompter.

You actually, you know lyrics and memorize them really well, but you. I could see you being the sort of person, like, if you were a pop star. Like, yeah, no, I wrote my song, but I don't remember the lyrics. Okay, sue me.

Okay. When I was in St. Bart's, we got back to the house and, like, we were drunk and we were, like, making snacks and somebody put on music and 100% came on. And, like, I literally didn't know the words to the second verse, but I was also really.

I feel like that's a part of the era story. Like, the whole thing is so impressive, but that's, like, on the list of impressive things that I don't think she gets enough credit for. And her lyrics are so Erin Trickett.

And just like, especially.

I'm going down. I'm yelling timber.

Don't disgrace that song.

It's the best song ever.

Also, by the way, it's even more impressive when you think about the fact that she'll literally go on the acoustic set and play a song from 17 years ago. That's the most deep cut that she's probably never even played live. She probably released it and never played it again. Cold as you think.

She has such a good memory. And that's probably why she has a hard time letting things go, because, like, they're so seared into her memory.

You know what? What the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. It's a blessing and a curse.

Yeah. Like, she remembers it like it was yesterday because her memory is so strong. That reminds me of Dana.

Yeah. And I also think she's a person of high intellect. And I think memory has, like. Is a part of that. You know, even though they say people with bad memories are high intellect. But maybe that was just, like, something they told you. Me searching for a headline that related to me.

Yeah. No, it's giving Dana. Dana would be a great pop star because she'd remember all of her lyrics.

But she'd also be a bad pop star for 45,000, 1000 million reasons. Mostly that she can't say she dances like.

Like she's playing charades. Yeah, we bought a house.

Like, you know, I'm. Yet I'm yelling timber. You better move. You better dance. That's so funny. That funny.

Yeah. And she would admit it, like, it's a point of pride for her.

Yeah. Oh, well, what's so fabulous is that the stories were great. Really, Jackie? Ten out of ten. I enjoyed them so much.

Thank you. But I really think we made the most out of them. It was us doing well. That's what we do best.

And what we do best is really help people. I think that's fair to say. And Wednesdays are extremely helpful day here at the toast. Because this is dear to us day. Shut up. So today it's only.

Okay when you do it.

Yeah. Today's dear toasters day, our weekly advice segment, where you girlies will write in, and we'll do our absolute best to help you. We got three submissions every week. You can submit deertoasters@gmail.com, write us an email, or if you want to be super, super anonymous, head to the toast podcast.com. Scroll down. There's a little submission box. No name required. Nothing. Today we have an update and two submissions. The first update is from the girl who wrote in about taking her husband's last name when her husband's last name was duty. And we understood, you know, we. And by the way, we had gotten a lot of feedback from that episode because we had said to each other, we gave her advice, but then we were also like, what kind of last name is that? Like, I've never heard that. And a lot of people wrote in, like, it's really a popular name in the south. Like, it's a thing. We didn't know about it, but we had encouraged her to speak her mind, maybe do some sort of hyphen, some, you know, new name, like Ellis island.

Like Caitlin and Dean. Ellis island.

Wait, what did you say?

Dean.

Okay.

Kaylin and Kaylin Miller keys married Dean Unglert, and they both changed their last names to Belle, which is Kalin's mother's maiden name, because that's what they related to most and wanted to.

I thought you said Kayla. And you just reminded me we had spoken at length on April fools. Like, we were so curious if anyone was gonna, you know, make the April fool's joke. I'm pregnant because it's something people do every year, and they always get canceled for it, and people never learn. This year was no different. Thank you to everyone who sent me on tick tock. You know, Travis, Kelsey's ex girlfriend, Kayla. Nicole, who's, like, an influencer, and she's, like, always in the news for, like, shading Taylor. She's pregnant.

I love her. I love that she was the one. I couldn't have picked a better person.

I agree.

I love that for her. Like, I think it's so great. And, God, seriously, like. And, yeah, just.

Okay. Our first year toasters is from that. Obviously not a toaster. No. Duty update. I was the girl who's getting married to the pjom whose last name is duty. I honestly wanted to create a completely new name, a combination of both. Alas, everyone in my fiance's family wears the duty moniker with such pride that they were actually a bit hurt when they found out my true feelings after realizing how much it meant. I have conceded to using the name personally. So Christmas cards, meeting new people socially but professionally and legal purposes, I am keeping my own name. Xoxo misses duty.

I just want to say, that's big of you. I went through an emotional rollercoaster reading this. Of course, at first we have to circumvent duty, but then you say, this family is a proud family. And to go and then you took your second grade humor to them, you're like, it's duty. I feel embarrassed. And of course you should be a proud duty. And I also feel like nothing. If you own something, there's nothing cooler than that. If you just, if you were so confident and I could forget the meaning of the word. So by the end of this, I was like, I could see I could be rooting for misses duty. I like in general, like, you have your family name and then you have your professional name. So that works for me.

Yeah.

But I do think, I don't remember what our advice was then, but my advice now would be to kind of reframe it in your head and like to find the joy in the duty.

I just want to say I do feel like the family could have been a little bit more understanding. Like, it is a piece of poop. Like, you're not being a child. Like it. Words have meaning and so for them to just be straight up offended and not being like, yeah, no. When I married in, I also felt like if somebody could miserable a little bit, that be, but be real to.

The family, but also hurt. Like, be mature. Yes.

No, no. I actually think this is a very, very mature way for you to move forward. Honestly, I don't know if I could ever be that mature because, like, duty is duty. And also I'm a duty person. We talk about all the time. Not everybody uses the word duty to describe poop. A lot of families have their own words. Like, duty is our family's word. Like, I have to make a duty. There was duty on the floor. Romeo made a duty. Like, duty is our word of choice. It means a lot to us.

Yeah, but for other people it's like, oh, yeah, that is a meaning of that. You know? Hopefully that's what it is for you. But I just. The best advice I could give. Own it. Just own it.

Yeah.

Wear with pride. Okay.

Our next one is so crazy.

Hello.

My husband and I just got married this past September. I was talking to him randomly this week about how we should look at cemetery plots together. And he said that he already has one that his mom got for him when he was 15. Mind you, it's in his hometown, which is the town we went to college in and where we met. We do not live there anymore. And I would really rather not be buried there. I said, well, if I die first, I can be cremated and just placed in your plot. And he went on to say how he doesn't believe in cremation. I said, well, we just have to be buried next to each other then. Please help a girl figure out on how to get on the same page with my husband about where and how we're buried.

Okay. I don't know what. Like, the textbook, like, healthy and right time to talk about this is. I've not even thought about it. And the times that I have thought about it, like, it is confounding. Yeah, it's confounding because it's like one of the husband or wife, like, isn't going to be buried with their parents because you'll be buried with your in laws and then your kids might not be with you because they're with their. I don't like it. I. I don't know what the answer is.

I don't like it either. It's wrong. Like, but I find peace in my religion, which is really puts very little emphasis on the physical body, they really say. And I remember at a funeral hearing this from the rabbi and it actually weirdly brought me great comfort that, like, this is a shell. The person is not there. They jewish afterlife spends a lot of emphasis on your nishama, which is your soul, and your soul is with you. Like, so I don't. I really try to hang on to that because if you think a lot about. You're right. Maybe my kids won't be with me and maybe I won't be with my family. Maybe I'll be with Ben's or Ben won't be with his. Like, it's bullshit. So I really. I try not to think about it and I try to really lean on my faith, honestly.

No. And I think it, like, sounds weird and feels weird, like, to the living, but then, like, to the dead, it's irrelevant. And think about how often we, like, never even visit.

I know we've literally visited our dad twice.

And it's only, like, when we're in the neighborhood, which is never. So, yeah, it helps to not be attached to that as an idea, but it is. It's really weird. And I don't know, like, what is Emily post, like, etiquette for when you talk about it. And what do most people do? Like, is there. Oh, we always go with the mom's family or the dads.

Like, I I don't know why. I happen to think you always go with the wife, but I also think.

It has to do. Well, yes, people buy their plots in advance, but it kind of has to do with, like, where you die, where.

You live and where you live.

But, like, you might, like, retire somewhere different from where you were spending your whole life.

Right? That's why, like, a lot of our grandparents who are from New York are buried in Florida, because that's where everyone goes church.

So it's. I have no advice for you and it's something I've put on thinking about. I don't even, like, it's not like I actively put it off. I just, like, I don't even worry about it.

The thing is, I don't. I want to say, like, I don't care. I have to imagine that, like, God forbid, you know, in a million years when I die, the people around me who know and love me will advocate for the best place for me to go given, you know, where others are. Wait, stop. I'm literally gonna cry. Are we not gonna be buried together?

That's what I'm saying.

Cuz, like, you're gonna be with your family.

Like, that's not what we should do this. Like, we should.

We should buy a family like right.

Now and they kind of take, get it taken, get it over with.

Also, like, who knows what our financial circumstances are gonna be in the future. Like, when you're feel. I guess that's why people have the conversations, like, if you have the money at this point, buy it now so you save your family the trouble.

It just feels like a lot of sturm and draying and like, drama. Turbo dead body for something that's like, not hopefully God willing, like, just not important right now. And that's could argue in ever.

Right when I go to a cemetery and I see the people with the huge mausoleums that you could literally walk into, it's like, to me, that's a waste of money. Like, I guess maybe it's faith based.

I was gonna say different religions, like, have a different idea of it, so I'm not gonna yuck anyone's yums, but I like that ours, like, de emphasizes it because it's. It's giving willy nilly.

And also I like that you don't have to go visit to feel connected to that person because in Judaism, that person's always with you yeah, but, like.

Thanks for bringing this up.

Yeah. We have no advice. Sound off in the comments if anybody has any help.

Miserable conversation. And it, like, makes me sad that, like, this is the conversations you're having with your new husband. Like, right. Less than a year. Stop having these conversations. My tip is to, like, seriously drop it.

I agree.

The chips fall where they may.

And just. If being cremated is, like, really, really important to you, like, make a will.

Important to him, I thought, no, he doesn't want.

He doesn't believe it.

Just drop it. Seriously.

No, but also, like, if you die first and you want to be cremated and your husband doesn't believe in it and he won't do it, if you have a will, he legally has to. So put it.

Yeah, and then.

And, you know, every woman should have a will.

Every person.

Every woman.

Stop talking about this. Seriously.

It's harmful to your relationship. Okay. Our third and final is very topical, and it's, like, really unfortunate. It's an April fool's joke gone really wrong. My sister and I are long time toasters. We love you. Swirlies. We decided to pull an April fool's joke on my boyfriend, and it completely backfired. We've been dating for six months. We're in a happy relationship. We talk about the future and getting married, and I'm really certain that he's my person. He was at the gym, and we had told him that we were next door at Whole Foods grocery shopping. As we pulled in, I saw his car, and we thought it would be funny, given it being April Fool's day, to pull a little joke. We wrote and left him a note on his windshield saying, hey, I think you're really cute. I see you at the gym all the time. Text me. And we gave a fake text number from the text plus app. He did it. He said, hey, I believe you left the note on my car. Very confident. Much respect. I was shocked, and I called him about an hour later after seeing him respond to the app.

I didn't respond in the app, and I kept and keep the conversation going because the point of the joke wasn't supposed to be to try to catch him. When confronting him about the text response, he got defensive, saying he didn't think what he said was wrong, and got pissed off because he thought we were setting him up for a test. Thoughts? Do I have a right to be upset? Does he have a right to be upset? You sound seriously like a battered woman. You absolutely have to break up with this man. He didn't even know what the person looked like, and he sent them a text. Like, he could have been a man.

Like, no, that's. I want to say, but it's also, like, insane. And the fact that you're. Oh, for sure.

But wait, the fact that you're writing in, being like, does he have a right to be upset? Are you okay? Break up with him. He will cheat on you. He probably has, but, like, bad prank. But you know what? Bad prank. God's looking out for you. Like, you might not have never noticed. Cause you seem to be under his spell.

Yeah, but some.

This man's a horrible boyfriend.

Yeah.

Break up with him now. Now, this last thought. Do I have a right to be upset? Does he have a right to be upset? Are you okay? Like, I'm really worried about you. To answer your question, does he have a right to be upset? No. Do you have a right to be upset? Yeah. You should break up with him.

My goodness, this is such a weird story. Like, I seriously, like, I'm uncomfortable, and I just like. And of course, like, he obviously failed the test, and it's actually a good lesson. Like, you ever need to test your man to see if he's loyal, if you feel like he goes to the gym and, like, creeps on girls. Yeah, do this.

But this girl wasn't even coming from.

I know. Which it's like. And it is good to know, like, if he is a scoundrel. Like, it's good that you know now. But seriously, like, what are you doing? It's entrapment. Like, what did you.

No, it's a crazy point.

Crazy thing to do, especially to your boyfriend of, like, six months who still might be in this phase of, like, seeing what else is, like, of keeping an eye open. Like, I'm not committed. No, I think that, like, if they're a. Six months isn't, like, the most serious relationship your newly boyfriend girl.

Yeah, but if you can't. If you can't even say monogamous at six months, like, if he's still keeping his options open, then he's not serious about you.

Yeah.

And you say you're serious. You wrote in the email, we're talking about the future. We talk about getting married. We are serious. That's what she wrote.

Yeah. Zach did. This happened. And Zach, like, yeah, I would have totally broken up with him, but at six months of dating, we were very serious.

That's what she said, to get rid of him. And I want an update. Seriously, don't. Do not run away from me. That's our show again, if you want to write in, that's dear toastersmail.com or head to the toastpodcast.com. Thank you so much. Listening to the toast millennia morning show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday and YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe. Give us video thumbs up. We're also available as podcast and where podcasts will be found. So it's Spotify, tune sister, public radio, every cast box, all the places we've listened. Podcast find us at Foster View. How beautiful sounding and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow. Love ya. Bye.