Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Wednesday. It is Hump Day, a guy just guy just guy just day here at Toast HQ. I'm a Toast HQ, NYC. Jack is in Toast HQ, FLA. Hey, girly. How's it going?

It's going good. Happy Hump Day. I feel as though it feels right to be a Wednesday. It's the latter half of the week, once we're through with this episode, Claude, we're further in than we are away from it. I think that's really exciting.

I have so many exciting things on the horizon for me today.

What?

Actually, I was being sarcastic, but there really is so many exciting things happening. My final furniture delivery from Crate and Barrel, I had placed this enormous order. It's come in installments. The two big items, the pullout couch for my second bedroom where you and your family will be sleeping one day, God willing. My bed, my bed has been broken. I've been sleeping on a broken bed for two years, and I finally got myself a real ass bed. Custom from Crate and Barrel.

I can't believe you still are using that other bed. I think we all remember when Ben broke it.

No, different bed. The one that Ben broke, that was a devastating loss because that was a real bed, too. Then I was like, You know what? These beds keep breaking. I bought an actual $400 bed from Wayfair. The fact that it has lasted me six years, I just want to say, speaks to Wayfair's true quality. It had a storage door underneath. I got a new bed, Crate and Barrel, with a storage door. I'm really excited about it. That's happening today. My apartment will be done by today. That's exciting. Then I have to hit up the kosher grocery, which is always just a thrill. When I tell you my life has changed, then I'm seeing- Do you find yourself eating more protein now?

Yes. Are you all proteined up?

Every single night. And so funny. So last night, I went to an engagement party on the Upper East, Jewish communauté. Let me tell you, there were two topics of conversation going around the entire party, and two only. Well, three, actually. The toast. Well, four. First was, of course, the beautiful couple, Mazel Tov. The second, Ozempic. When I tell you, every person was talking about Ozempic. Three, Oris, the new culture grocer. The fruit platter for the engagement party was from Oris. Everybody said, Oh, this is such good fruit from Oris. I thought it really had only revitalized my life. When I tell you every conversation, someone was like, Have you had the salad dressing? I was like, No. Have you? No. I said, Have you had the rotissary chicken? I'm the rotissary chicken champion. People have really discovered the rotissary chicken through me. But then, literally, people keep starting rumors about this grocery store. Someone's like, I heard that they're getting a frozen yogurt machine. I'm like, Well, actually, I heard that, too. So it might be true. But then I heard from my friend Margot, and she saw it with her own eyes, that they are now selling pre-made briskets that are delicious.

Everybody's starting rumors about this grocery store. I'm telling you, the grocery stores flip the community on its head.

That's so beautiful. But they could serve ice cream and chicken.

You know what? I I thought about that from a kosher perspective. As a grocery store, yes, as long as you're in separate sections. Separate kitchens. But if you're a restaurant, with a kitchen, you're obviously only selling meat or dairy.

I guess unless you had two kitchens in your restaurant.

That would be a high budget restaurant.

And different tables, too, and different serveware. Very interesting. I'm excited for you.

Then I'm going, I'm sorry, to a concert, seeing by Queenie, Kelsey Baller, Queenie.

Oh, very lovely. It was just an amazing...

And then by the time I'm done with the day, it's the hers day.

Exactly.

What about you?

Busy day. I'm a little queezy today. It started last night as I was going to sleep. I was feeling nauseous, but I was like, Okay, well, I'll go to sleep then.

What if I just took a nap?

It makes me feel like I want to lay down, so why don't I just stay laying? Then as I was doing my makeup this morning, I was like, Yeah, I feel a little amiss. Can't pinpoint it. Just going to watch that.

Oh my God, something's up with Jacks, you guys.

Nothing crazy. I'm in tune with my body, and I'm saying I don't feel 100%. I feel out of focus. You know when that happens? Yes.

It's so funny. I'm really not a person who's in tune with her body. I'm in tune with what's necessary, but not my body.

You're not? You can't feel if something's a little different? No.

Sometimes I'm completely fine, normal, and healthy, and I'm like, Oh, my God, something's off. And nothing's off. Do you know what I mean? I'm not in tune.

If you felt this way, you would notice just a low-grade queasiness, I would say. I don't know. Maybe I need a Zofran.

Are you?

Pregnant? No. Okay.

Did you check?

I don't have to. It's not possible. Okay. Yeah. Zofran, perhaps. I don't have one.

Oh, let me tell you something about Zofran.

Got to ask around. Anyone have a Zofran?

They need to make that shit more accessible. Every time I get on soapbox about Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjar, more accessible, affordable. Yeah, throw Zofran in there, too. You shouldn't need a prescription for that shit. It's the only thing on the planet that actually gets rid of nausea, and you need a prescription for it?

Yeah, because it works.

Stop. Stop being a gatekeeping, girl boss. Just go.

Yeah, now I'm craving one. Itching for one. I'm all out because I'm so generous with mine because I feel so strong.

You are so generous with your Zofran.

About universal Zofran prescription.

I literally, you won't catch me giving my Zofran to a dying person. That shit is like a liquid gold.

It's so amazing. When you're hungover, obviously, I was prescribed for migraines. I got with my migraine medication, Zofran, because migraines can also cause nausea. I always got double the amount of Zofran, and they would give me five migraine pills for a month. Fucking rude. Step it up. No, I think- And they would give me so much Zofran, so I was super generous with it to the point that I don't have any.

The greatest part of Ozempic is obviously the weight loss. But I would say coming in close second is more often than that, you get a prescription for Zofran along with it because it can cause nausea. And let me tell you, drug dealers should get into that.

Oh, and just to clear up some more rumors that might be started about me, I'm not on Ozempic, even though I'm nauseous. Oh, my God.

Are people saying that?

No, I haven't seen one person say it. And honestly, it's a little fucking rude. It's fucking rude. Can't say, can't confirm or deny if I'm on Ozempic. No, I'm cackling. No, but I feel like because of what I'm saying today, people could conclude that I'm on Ozempic, and I'm a big champion of the drug. But put the rumors, future rumors to rest, even though I know it looks like I am. It does. I'm not.

It does.

It's honestly a little rude that I haven't seen any speculation.

I'll start it. She's literally on Ozempic. I saw her shoot herself up when I was at her house. Okay, I started it now. No, no, no. Now people will really think so.

That's not a rumor. That's a confirmation.

Jacky O is on Ozempic.

That's a confirmation, Claudia. You just have to give them crumbs. Can't confirm or deny.

I can confirm. I saw her shooting it up. That's a lie. Listen, you get what she asked for.

Okay, yeah. I'll put it out. Now people will really be confused. They'll be like...

But, Jackie, now you really need to stay on point with your health journey. No, I know. Because they're going to be like, Ozempic didn't work for her. Yikes. Wait. Okay. Last night at this engagement party, I, of course, ended up in the room with the dessert and the older women. That's just That's where I gravitate. Of course, everybody was talking about Oprah's Ozempic special. I got to see firsthand how I feel... The impact that it's had. People were just talking. Everyone was talking about it so positive. They loved the special. People said it should have been longer. It was so fabulous to see it firsthand. I was talking to my best friend Alicia's house. Do you know that Esther is the biggest toaster?

I know she listens to the show, yeah.

I didn't know that. Every single day. Every day?

Hi, Esther.

She picks up her mom every day. Sometimes, her mom's like, No, I don't need to be picked up. She's like, No, you don't understand. I need to get in the car so I can listen to the toast. She comes over to me and she's like, Let me ask you a question. This may be so down, but how do I listen to old episodes? She's like, I can't get past two years ago.

People have been saying that.

And what is that? Apple and Spotify cut us off. We're being silenced.

I feel like there's only a maximum number of episodes that they can host. Yeah, per show. Or that they do host. I think you have to go to YouTube.

I said, thankfully, the archive is always on YouTube. But for me, that's painful because YouTube is basically a timeline of my weight loss and gains over the years.

Yeah, but you also have said that you want all episodes to be gone. I have said that. I would think that Apple and Spotify cutting us off wouldn't be a bad thing.

I think as a part of some influencer safety net podcast.

Influencer protection policy.

The Influencer Protection program is a subscription you pay yearly that after a 10 is, I want to say, two years old. It needs to be erased. The culture changes. We can only be held responsible for what we said in the moment, holding somebody's feet to the fire for something they said five years ago. I don't know her. I need a program like that, and it needs to be called the Influencer Protection program.

Okay, the IPP.

I love that. I think we should start it.

Yeah, I would do it. Even though two years, then what about my wedding photos? Okay. Well, that's why I have to post them every anniversary. That's cool, too.

That's what the Influencer Protection program does. They way- Fift through. Yeah. Anything personal, wishing a happy birthday to your spouse, of course, that stays. But anything topical or a little bit murky- But what if you wish a happy birthday to your spouse and you're like, Happy birthday, R-word. Well, that would then be alerted by the IPP. I don't know why you would be calling your significant other the R-word, but I see what you're saying.

It could be a joke you guys have. That doesn't age well.

In a time where everyone was saying that word. No, I understand. The IPP would flag that for sure. Maybe when they felt the culture changing, that flag, that folder of our word content, would be immediately washed away.

Yeah. I think we're It's a thousand % to something.

A thousand %. But I don't want to limit it to influencers. It's really comedians.

People, you need that for their jobs going forward, just a social media cleansing program.

I'm glad you brought up rumors being spread about you. I don't know if you know that there's a conspiracy theory about us.

Tell me everything.

It's one of those things where people think we're cooler and more Hollywood than we are. It's true.

I don't care what it is. It's true.

Extra, extra. What is it? People were blowing us up on social media yesterday for not talking about Quiet On Set, the documentary. They think we're involved. And they're like, Why haven't the girls spoken about it? And it's, first of all, we literally spoke about it the day before yesterday and last week.

And the time before that. I saw those comments, and that's just people to me who don't watch the show.

No, but there's a full theory that we're protecting Dan Schneider. If you read my book, you know- You don't watch the show. You don't watch the show if you think that. I haven't watched a documentary yet either. But I saw on TikTok yesterday, and of course, it's a story today, Dan Schneider did a podcast.

He did an interview.

It was a podcast.

That's where it was- It was? That person has a podcast?

I think so, no. They were sitting in chairs with sure mics.

Did they have mics?

Did they not?

No, they were just sitting in chairs facing each other. I think that person The vibe I got is that person is a friend of Dan Schneider's, and I think people probably like him, and he felt like he wanted to sit down with Dan to clear up some rumors. That person- And they gave it to the Hollywood reporter.

Is a former- iCarly star.

Yes. Star is generous. It's from the Hollywood reporter. I watched it on X.

But they did give it to the Hollywood reporter. I watched it on the Hollywood Reporters TikTok. And you're right, they don't have microphones.

It's not a podcast. It's just a piece of content.

It's so funny how my brain is Manipulated into thinking two people in chairs looking at each other is a podcast.

No, nothing about that was giving podcast because it was so quick and brief. It was so weird. And if you're a podcaster, we have the time to talk.

That's actually so true. It was only 19 minutes.

It was just like, question, answer, question, answer, question, answer. The pace of it, it was so fast paced to me. I never could have mistaken it for a podcast. Yeah.

There was no conversation after Dan gave one of his answers. It was just like, Okay, moving on.

Yeah. Thank you for clearing that up, even though You barely did.

Yeah, barely did. And by the way, not Dan Schneider getting on the Ozempic train.

Oh, yeah.

Dan Schneider looks like he lost 200 pounds.

Yeah, he does look slim down. Yeah. And he has a goatee.

He doesn't deserve Ozempic. It's too good for him. Give it to someone who can't afford it, for real, and who really needs it.

Well, we'll get into that interview. So I guess without further ado, did you watch Vanderpump Rules last night? I didn't.

I was at an engagement party.

Right. I watched it, struggling to remember what happened.

If you want to table it for maybe next week, we could do a two episode recap because I didn't watch it, and I do have Deer Toaster for today.

Yeah, but no, I didn't have any pressing feelings or thoughts, so it doesn't even matter. Great. So without further a do, do, do, do, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you. Are you ready for our first story?

I am.

Dan Schneider responds in an on-camera video to Disturbing revelations in Quiet on Set. So Dan Schneider, he posted the video to his YouTube channel at Dan Warp. Oh, he did? Yes. It was a 20-minute interview with Boogie, who plays Thibault on iCarly. So people have seen the allegations in Quiet on Set, The Dark Side of Kids TV that has been airing over the last few days. And Dan Schneider is being...

Held accountable.

Held accountable. So he is asked about some of the more egregious allegations made in that series. He said, quote, Facing my past behaviors, some of which are embarrassing and that I regret. I definitely owe some people a pretty strong apology. He spoke about the serious allegations that he continuously requested female writers to massage him in front of other writers and crew members. He said, It was wrong. It was wrong that I ever put anybody in that position. It was the wrong thing to do. I'd never do it today. I'm embarrassed that I did it then. I apologize to anybody that I ever put in that situation. Additionally, I apologize to the people who were walking around Video Village or wherever they happened because there were lots of people there who witnessed it and who also may have felt uncomfortable. So I owe them an apology as well. He talks about the jokes that have been deemed inappropriate now that were made on the show, and he apologizes for those while also saying there were a lot of people- Whose job it was to approve that. Whose job it was to approve that, who wrote that, and everybody gave those things the green light.

But overall, he's saying, I'm so sorry, these things shouldn't have happened. I wouldn't do it now. I wish I didn't do it then.

Okay, so first of all, I thought the turnaround time was really crazy. Almost like he knew... This was pre-recorded. He knew what was going to be said about him. Maybe he got a screener. Because really, yesterday was, I feel like, yesterday, the second episode, the second part of the documentary had dropped, but I think much more of the more egregious allegations. And literally, while it's going viral, the second people start talking about it, he drops his thing. I just thought the timing was crazy, no?

I don't think so. I think we've been talking about the fact that this thing coming out for a few weeks. So I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure they reached out to him for comment. I'm sure they knew this was going to be a referendum on him. And I think that his strategy for combating it is to get ahead of it. Whatever they say, I'm going to put out a statement explaining myself. And so he saw whatever was from the other night and immediately got on the hornet. He maybe even had a plan for what he wanted to do, a video, setting the record straight with a friend and someone who people might trust because they were also on set at these times and just clear the air.

Yeah, no, that's fair. I did think, first of all, what a tool. What's his name, the interviewer?

Boogie.

Probably some of the biggest loser energy I've ever seen radiating from another human being. Dan thinks he's subtle. So many of the allegations were around how black actors and there was a The lack of diversity. The actors who were hired, who were diverse, who were black, were not given any attention, any opportunity. Him sitting there with a former castmate who's also black, it was like, You're not being subtle, Dan. Like, Oh, no, never mind.

Yeah. No, as if that nullifies what other people are saying. I feel like there are probably a lot of people who have worked with Dan Schneider who would say good things about him, who maybe had a positive experience working for him, who were maybe stars of their show, and it was in Dan's best interest to be nice to them. I don't think Dan treated everyone the same, and that everyone's going to say the same things about him. It's not surprising to me that he has people who would champion him and say nice things about him, that there's people who say the opposite. Yeah.

It's also, I feel, because these are all child actors, I feel like however each kid had a different experience is so dependent on their parents involvement. And like, Jeanette McCurdy, stating in her book, not very explicitly, but referring to Dan as the creator and how he was super manipulative and literally a psychopath. And her book is called, I'm Glad My Mom Died. No one was looking out for her. And then with Drake Bell and Amanda Binds, those are also two big stars of this documentary. Amanda Binds has a very really sorted relationship with her parents. And especially at that time, when she was bringing in a lot of money, it became a big issue. Drake Bell had wanted to become emancipated from his parents. So he really surveyed the kids who either came from broken homes or had complicated relationships with their parents and prayed on that because it leaves these young kids very vulnerable.

Yeah, but I'm sure plenty of other kids whose parents were on set who didn't fall into this web and say, Oh, working with Dan launched my career.

Because then you think about Ariana Grande and Josh and Liz Gillies. These are all kids who have big careers and who I think would state that they had fine experiences. I'm sure being a child star comes with its own host of whatever. But when it comes to this particular documentary, would say that they had fine experiences. I think a lot of them would credit that to the fact that their parents were around 100% of the time. It's very disturbing. I think a lot of people... For me, the great tragedy is really emblematic in what happened to Amanda Binds. There's so much footage in this documentary, and I haven't watched a documentary, but I've seen so many clips, unaird moments, behind the scenes, recordings that are so It's fucking weird and gross. Now, of course, when you go back and watch certain scenes that were either aird or not paired, with hindsight, it's weird. But when you were a kid, you didn't think you weren't disgusting as a kid. You just thought it was funny. Ha ha.

Yeah. That's what Dan said, too. And he also said, Cut those scenes out. Take them out. But the thing is, the damage is done. Those actors already experienced it, and they're forever changed because of it. No one really is watching those old shows now.

No, cutting it is not That's not going to help anyone.

He also said, in an effort to make things better for child actors going forward, that there should be a licensed counselor on set whose job it is to evaluate each child and make sure that they really want to be on TV, that they're not just doing it for their parents, that they know what comes along with being a working child actor, with being famous, et cetera.

Okay, for sure. But people like Dan Schneider should also go the fuck away.

Yeah. No, there are so many issues with that. First of all, of course, a kid who who has a pension for acting and singing wants to be on TV, and they're going to do and say anything to get that position. They have no idea what they're signing on to. If you tell them what they're signing on to, this is a child. They can't make actual-Decisions.real serious decisions for themselves. Also, if their parents are pressuring them to do it, you get this job, and maybe your family needs the money, and the kid's going to talk to the therapist, I don't want to do it. When you know your parents need to do it, it's just dishonest. Also, what are the odds that this counselor is an honest good faith actor and not some other creditor?

Giving massages.

Yeah, no. That's an easy job for a predator to get, huh?

1,000 %. Also, I feel like this is so crazy because there have been so many documentaries that get so viral, and it really breaks open what was going on. Like, Larry Nasser, for example. Very rarely does the person then come out. I feel like when these documentaries are made, the person who is being exposed is either in jail, dead, off the grid. It's so rare that we hear from them that same day. It's felt so weird.

It is weird, but the difference is, from what I've seen, what Dan Schneider is being accused of is not illegal behavior. He's not incriminating himself by apologizing for these things.

By being a mean boss, inappropriate It's bad inappropriate jokes.

Nothing that he's apologizing for or things that he could go to jail for or anything like that. With Larry Nasser and those people, no, they can't come and say, I'm sorry I did that. Lock him up.

Yeah, but I also feel like a We have been for years, if you keep up with media, you know Dan Schneider. You know the name. You know that this was a very, very long time coming. I feel like- The rumors about him are worse than the allegations that have come out from this documentary.

There are other things, too, that we've all heard that I guess they're not addressing in the documentary.

Which is why he was able to then go on and refute those claims in an interview. Interview. Because if they were the real allegations, what we've all heard for many, many years, he could never speak on that because he would go to jail.

Well, he certainly couldn't. The only thing he could say is, I didn't do those things. That's all he could say. And that's not the tone of this interview. He's not saying, I did not do the things that they're saying in that document. He said, I did them. It was wrong, and I'm sorry.

Right. But there's more.

But cool. You're sorry. The damage is done. Sorry.

No, we don't give a fuck, for real. Yeah.

Sorry that you're embarrassed today, and you're having a bad week. I don't give a shit.

No. Not going to find me caring.

It was an interesting strategy, though, because it definitely has you being like, If he's being so candid and taking accountability, maybe he's not as guilty as you would think.

No. I think what his strategy was, but I'm seeing right through it, is like, Yeah, let me take accountability for all the things that won't put me in prison that aren't the greatest things, but they're not as bad as what I've really been accused of. Like, Oh, yeah, I yelled at some writers, and I made weird jokes. Pail in comparison to what we've all heard for years. Taking accountability for those things makes him look like an honest person. But we can't be fooled. It's Especially when just the rumors have been around about him for so long. Like, so long.

Yeah.

No.

No. But I guess in the same breath that people are talking about Quiet on the Set now, they're also talking about this Dan Schneider interview, as opposed to it just being about these nasty things about Dan Schneider.

He's just really gross, and he needs to just go away, for real.

He had gone away, though, yeah. Right.

So he's not a person who is public-facing all the time. He didn't even really need to respond. He's extremely wealthy. He could have just continued living his private life.

Yeah, he could just be a freak who's obsessed with the attention and can't let people talk about him without him coming out and clearing his name.

For sure. Even though people have been talking about him for so long. He's Never.

Not mainstream.

No, not mainstream. But former cast mates, remember when Jeanette McCurdy was on Vine, she was making all those... She was clearly having some episode, and she was making all these cryptic TikToks about Dan Schneider. There have been many, many moments over the years where we've talked about it, never to the point you're right, where it became mainstream and viral content. But it's been spoken about for so many years, and he really has just deep dive, duck, dive, and dodge.

Yeah.

He's such a freak. He's so disgusting-looking.

I haven't watched a documentary, but now I want to, but I wanted to watch this before. Four, just so that we could speak on it so that people don't think we're covering up for Dan Schneider. When I see those comments, that's a person who has never watched the Toast a Day in Their Life because we've been talking about Dan Schneider since 2017.

Jackie and I, when our show was owned by Verizon, we were like, We were literally talking about Dan Schneider, two girlies would, talking about how he's a freak and a pedophile. And we literally got called in by Verizon legal team. We had to sit through a two-hour compliance.

They were like, You guys can't say stuff like that.

We're like, What do you mean? It's true. We literally had to sit in a two-hour presentation about compliance and defamatory language. It was so boring, first of all. I was like, You're kidding me. You're kidding me.

It was actually probably really helpful. I agree.

Not for Dan Schneider.

To go forward in doing what we do. It was a good lesson to learn.

Just throw allegedly in front of anything you say, and you're totally safe.

Yeah, that was really the lesson. But just to go to show you that we were called in in 2017 over this. If you think we're part of the cover up, you haven't been paying attention. You're not fans of this show. I don't know how you stumbled on yesterday's YouTube episode, but go away.

Jackie, literally, how many days can go by before I bring up Juneette McCurdy's book? What are you guys talking about?

No, literally. The thing is, I'm talking to them right now, but they're not listening because they don't watch this show. They just commented on yesterday's episode.

No, and by the way, Jackie and I, we're pretty wishy-washy on certain things. One day, we hate this person. We're always changing our minds. I don't want to say wishy-washy. We're open-minded. One thing I feel we really don't move on from is child stuff. We're never going to be back on Balenciaga. The kid stuff, we can't be bought.

No, there's no turning a new leaf on kids.

On kids stuff. I agree. I don't care how sorry you are, for real. There is no absolution.

Yeah.

You've been absolved. Absolution. You've been absolved. Absolution? Absolution. It feels wrong, actually.

Absolution.

Abstinence? No.

Absolution. Formal release from guilt.

Oh, yeah, there is none. Seriously, once you meet your maker, you can work it out then. Yeah.

That's what's to do with Dan Schneider.

He's got a turkey neck.

Are you body-shaming? I am.

Yeah. Yeah. I really, really am.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah. Yeah.

Beyoncé says her new album, Act 2, Cowboy Carter, was born out of an experience where she did not feel welcome. So Beyoncé has announced her next album called Act 2, Cowboy Carter on social media. It has a picture of herself wearing a red, white, and blue outfit on a horse and holding up an American flag. As we know, this next album from Beyoncé is going to be a country album in the elk of her two songs that she's released called Texas Hold 'Em and 16 Carriages. She put out a statement yesterday with the announcement saying, Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the supporters of Texas Hold 'Em and 16 Carriages. I feel honored to be the first Black Woman with the number one single on the Hot Country Songs chart. That would not have happened without the outpouring of support from each and every one of you. My hope is that years from now, the mention of an artist's race as it relates to releasing genres of music will be irrelevant. She said, This album has been over five years in the making. It was born out of an experience that I had years ago where I did not feel welcomed, and it was very clear that I wasn't.

But because of that experience, I did a deeper dive into the history of country music and studied our rich musical archive. It feels good to see how music can unite so many people around the world while also amplifying the voices of some of the people who have dedicated so much of their lives educating on our musical history. The criticisms I faced when I first entered this genre forced me to propel past the limitations that were put on me. Act 2 is a result of challenging myself and taking my time to bend and blend genres together to create this body of work. I have a few surprises on the album and have collaborated with some brilliant artists who I deeply respect. I hope that you can hear my heart and soul and all the love and passion that I poured into every detail and every sound.

Okay, so many thoughts. Well, people then figured out what she was talking about when she entered the genre and didn't feel welcome.

Unwelcome experience.

I remembered that, too, when she did that CMA performance. I thought it was fabulous. I loved it.

She did a CMA performance with the Dixie Chicks. The Chicks. At the time, they were called the Dixie Chicks, singing one of her songs. I don't remember any of this, really.

Oh, I do. And I actually remember talking about it on the toast. And I wonder if she's talking about not feeling welcome by the fans or by fellow country artists.

The vibe I got was back Stage unwelcoming, because I think then I saw an old article that Beyoncé talked about not feeling welcome at the CMAs, and she felt like backstage everyone was giving them looks, because the the chics are also...

They're like a The lightning rod.

Yeah, I feel like there's dynamics with it. They might have enemies, too, in the CMAs.

They're definitely like... I don't know what the right word is, but yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, so Again, then also maybe the fans, and I think the reception to the performance. The performance has been scrubbed from the internet. You can't even watch it.

Wait, that's so crazy. I remember thinking, thank God, when somebody so cool as Beyoncé gives her approval to the CMAs, we've been trying to get people onto country for so many years. Beyoncé has that power. I remember being like, Yeah, the more the merrier. I do remember the fans being lame about it.

I feel like it must have been a bad reception because you can't even watch the video now. Because Of course, now I want to go see and be like, Oh, what'd they do?

I didn't realize it was scrubbed.

Yeah, it's not.

Lose her energy.

Does anyone have an old Tevo?

Yeah, not the Tevo.

We could watch it.

Well, then she's teasing in this caption, working with people, collabs, and we have to sit here and just guess.

Chris Stapleton.

Well, read again who she said she was collaborating with, because it sounds like it might be mostly Black artists.

I have a few surprises on the album and have collaborated with some brilliant artists who I deeply respect.

A few side sentences up.

I did a deeper dive into the history of country music and studied our rich musical archive. It feels good to see how music can unite so many people around the world, while also amplifying the voices of some of the people who have dedicated so much of their lives educating on our musical history.

Okay, maybe not.

That just felt like the genesis in the research for this project.

Also, country music is really for everyone.

Yeah. Okay. As far as collaborations, I feel like she might be collaborating with some big country artists.

Okay. I would not mind a Beyoncé Darius Rucker collab. I feel like Darius Rucker has He put the Black country music fandom on his back for so many years. I think Beyoncé should reward him for his good work.

Yeah. I don't see it.

I don't see it musically, sonically. I agree, they're very different.

I do see Chris Stapleton. I really do see Chris Stapleton because he collabs. He loves a collab.

He collabs, A.

He's DTC down to collab.

But also, I feel like sound-wise, he's very soulful and very I don't know.

Soulful is a good word. I also feel like as far as the mixing of genres, there's a- Crossover. Yeah, I think it would sound really beautiful. I feel like that could be. And then maybe some artists that we don't know as well yet. I don't think it's going to be like Luke Holmes.

You know who I feel like she's going to do- Luke Holmes. No.

Luke Brian.

Please, no. Do you know who I feel like she's going to do a collab with? 100%. Actually, I'm calling it right now, The War and Treaty. Remember I told you about that wife-husband duo? Yeah. Who I saw at the CMAs? They just did a collab with Zack Bryant. I feel like they're really up and coming, and they're amazing vocally, and I feel like Beyoncé is going to platform them, and I think that'd be sick.

Well, also, Maron Morris had commented on Beyoncé's statement saying, Drag Them, Queen, because she's on the outs with country music. So do you think- No.

I don't think Beyoncé is going to work with her. I think that's the antithesis. Maryn just left country, and Beyoncé's entering. There are two ships passing in the night. Yeah.

But do you think... It sounds like from this statement, Beyoncé's coming into the world of country music, wants to be a part of it.

Yes, wants to really unite all different fandoms. I think she's coming into it like Peacemaker, like with, Waving the white flag.

Not coming in and being like, I'm mad about five years ago. I'm going to do your genre better than you. Oh. I didn't get that. That's not what I'm getting from this statement.

No, it's getting really like, music heals, music unites, and I'm going to be that force.

Yeah, agreed.

That's what I had thought.

That's what I had thought, too. But then like, Maron Mars, I feel like is feeling like, Drag Them.

I think Maren Morris read it differently, and I think Maren read it incorrectly.

Unless she's saying, Drag those who made you feel unwelcome.

Well, yeah. But I felt that the overall sentiment of Beyoncé's caption, and I actually really appreciate her giving, I feel like she doesn't really give us this much insight ever. She just releases her music and it speaks for itself. But I feel like she definitely left it in a very positive, uplifting tone.

Yeah, I agree. I'm excited to hear the album.

No, let me tell you, I'm on my way to Stan hood. Seriously, all aboard. I cannot wait. It comes out soon. Also, I love the name Cowboy Carter. The artwork, perfection. Gorgeous. That's so my esthetic. I'm loving. Beyoncé is doing country, and she's doing it right.

Yeah, so far, so good. When is the album for? I think it comes out in 10 days.

Thank you. Like, normal lead time. We appreciate it.

And you've given us- I'm loving the normal lead time.

And you've given us two songs. Thank you.

Yeah. So that's very exciting. See you in 10 days. Next Friday.

Do you think she would do a Casey Musgraves collab? I'm thinking of who's really hot right now in country music and not mainstream. Obviously, Morgan Wall and Luke Holmes, but I'm thinking of Casey Musgrave, Zack Bryant.

So I think that Casey Musgrave is like, I see what you're saying, but I don't think that will make it onto the Because I also feel like Casey's very progressive within the community of country, but still remains country. No, I hear what you're saying. It's a good call, but I don't think it will be.

It's a good call. I'm so curious. Drop a comment. Who do you think Beyoncé is going to collab with or should collab with? I feel like we made some good calls.

Should we could be here all day? Will?

Should Luke Will? It's Chris Stapleton. But she should- Chris. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to say really Chris Stapleton.

Yeah.

Okay, ready for our next story.

What number? Three. Yeah.

Kate Middleton's medical records have been part of a hospital security breach. The hospital where Kate Middleton underwent abdominal surgery in January is reportedly experiencing a security breach involving the Princess of Wales's medical records. An investigation is underway at the London Clinic over claims that at least one staff are attempted to access her files, the Daily Mail reported, This is a major security breach and incredibly damaging for the hospital, given its unblemished reputation for treating members of the royal family.

No, and this is truly why we can't have nice things. People got too insane, and it was all fun until it wasn't. This is so disgusting. This is what I was saying yesterday. The party's over, the buck stops here, and people can't let it go. They can't just let something be bygones be bygones and let a good thing have happened. They You have to ruin it. That's what happened. Good job. Congratulations. You played yourself.

This is absolutely insane, but also makes me feel like, ultimately, the version of the story that we're getting is a version of the truth because the staffer access her medical records. If there was something wild in there, I feel like they would have made it public. Otherwise, what were they doing?

I want to say, I feel as though a lot of things... Nothing in this world is sacred. Nothing, really. But I feel like the oath of the HIPAA oath, for the most part, people really, really take seriously, and they respect it. You don't hear a lot about... And the celebrities are human beings, so they have all sorts of health issues, pregnancies, things like that. People in the medical field, I'm sure, who live and work at Cedar Side, I know plenty. I feel like it's this oath that's really respected, and I love that. When I hear situations like this, remember Scott Disick, when he was in that rehab Zoom thing, HIPAA violation, for the most part, people really respect it. Both who work in the medical field, but also people in the waiting rooms, fellow patients. People really respect it.

Though they haven't taken the oath.

No, but that's what I'm saying. Even regular people, I forget who I was having this conversation with, but celebrities have to go to the OB/GYN, and they're pregnant, they're hiding a pregnancy. But even if they see someone, for the most part, there is this unwritten thing. You see a celebrity in the doctor's room, you're not going to really share that. When something like this happens, it's always really disappointing.

Yeah. No, this is insane. I hope that staffer is found and fired. No.

And walked through the streets. Shame. Because what are you doing? If first you could sell it to TMZ, you're disgusting.

Yeah. Which makes me feel like there was nothing to sell. Just if we're going to get back to the- Sure, sure.

If we're going to get a conspiracy.

Yeah, get back to the conspiracy. They didn't find what they were looking for.

Or she wasn't able to access it because it's... Like you said, they have an unblemished record. They're obviously very secure. And some your low-life nurse can't get access to everyone's files.

Yeah, attempted to access.

Right.

Okay.

It's giving low-life nurse. It is. I love the term low-life. It's so insulting. I don't really use it a lot because if you do, it becomes- That's why it's insulting, because it's not overused. Yeah, but being called... If somebody ever called me a low life, seriously, I would just end it. End it all. It's horrible. But don't do something that warrants being called a low-life nurse.

You don't think it was doctor administrator? It's got to be a nurse.

I'm sorry. Did I assume? You read. Yeah.

One staffer.

Okay, I'm sorry for assuming, but it was 1,000% a nurse. No? Yeah. Oh, my God. I totally assumed, and I made an ass out of you and me. I'm I'm so sorry, but it was.

But you stand by the assumption.

Yeah. Let's not get into it, Ashley, Jessica, RN. I respect and adore nurses. They are our Society's lifeblood, I respect, but it was definitely one of them. I respect our end, real nurses. I think an honest nurse would agree with me.

Yeah.

But this wasn't an honest nurse. It was a low-life nurse.

Hi. Okay, ready for our next story?

No, because I forgot to tell you how cute you look today. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you. I got this favorite daughter sweatshirt.

From Fashion Pass.

So did I. From Fashion Pass, one of our sponsors.

I would never wear it in front of you because it's beyond rude. But I see you obviously had no qualms about wearing that in front of me.

No, because I like it. I like it. It's cute. I like the color of it because I feel like it's a nice color to wear on the show brings I feel like it's one of my colors.

Yeah, I need to start wearing more of my colors. I wear my color last night, and everybody said it looked so gorgeous. Everyone was talking about it. What color? It was a wintery blue.

That's everyone's color. No offense. It's such a gorgeous color.

I feel like You know what? It's more so like, is this an ugly color?

Yeah. Is this a flattering color for the human face? Right. That's a beautiful color for anyone. Honestly, I've not seen someone look bad in it.

Yeah. Before we dive I'm actually not ready because I wanted to tell you that the last two stories are brought to you by Hero Bread, a brand that Ben Soffer is so obsessed with. He actually reached out to him because he wanted to invest. He was like, I feel so strongly about this company. We have Hero Bread in our house all the time because Ben and I are on our health journeys. If you're afraid of carbs, we get it. Carb-heavy foods are often the ones that we love the most. Hero Bread is out here making the same delicious favorites, but they are free of consequences or compromises. They have remade carby empty calorie bread products into fluffy, delicious versions that include no net carbs, zero grams of sugar, and fewer calories plus, excuse me, protein and fiber. We have tons of Hero Bread products. We have bread for sandwiches. We have tortillas. They really taste very good, but they are so much better for you. This is something I used to roll my eyes out because all these companies, I'm sorry, most of them taste like crap. Hero Bread is the real deal. It's zero to one grams of net carbs, 0 sugar, and they're high in fiber.

They're delicious and flavorful, so they're soft and fluffy. You will really feel a refreshing experience when you bite into a Hero Bread sandwich. There's something for every craving, so they have sliced bread loaves, buns. We've had those on our hamburgers, very good. And the tortillas, where I like to make my tortilla pizza. I don't know if you guys know, I like that a lot. Excellent. So don't give up bread. And don't give up being a breadhead. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order when you go to hero. Co and use co toast at checkout. That's toast, T-O-A-S-T, at hero. Co, H-E-R-O. Co. Today's episode is also brought to you by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. Your pet is One of a Kind. I feel like this is a very appropriate sponsor for me because with my first love, Theo, we actually did not have pet insurance. I thought that was one of the dumbest things I've ever did. And look how it paid off. I ended up with crazy bills. Before I even got Romeo, the first thing I did was get pet health insurance. It's really important that you do that because your pet is one of a kind, and so is their journey.

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Thank you, La.

You're welcome.

Our next story. Tired Kyle Richards is reacting to her niece Paris Hilton bashing Mauricio Umansky. Yes. We spoke last speak about what Paris Hillsman said about the clip from buying Beverly Hills, and now Kyle is on Amazon Live talking about what Paris said. She said, I'm just tired of hearing about everything over and over again. She said that she thought... She was like, For me, it was like, Oh, Real Housewives Beverly Hills reunion is done. Thank God, I can exhale and relax a little bit. Then I was like, Oh, not too soon, Kyle. There's more stuff coming. She said, My family's all in the public eye, and it's weird to think that I'm on television, my niece is on television, my sister's on television on her show, and she's been on my show. My family's on television. My daughter's. It's a lot. Yeah, it is a lot to keep apart. Paris is your own show. Paris and Love.

Real House Lives.

Cathy's on Real House Lives and Paris and Love. Then Mauricio is on buying Beverly Hills, and Kyle's daughters are on that show, too. It's like everyone She has to keep track of what everyone's saying all the time, and you have to keep talking about what everyone's saying.

She's so right. With the Richard's Sisters, they've been fighting since season one, and they have really been fighting about the same Roman Empire moments in their family. They keep rehashing the same five things. You stole my goddamn house, Rick and Mauricio, the same couple of things. I feel like that's so classic family beef.

Yeah. Well, I just watched part three of Beverly Hills. Cathy came out, and what they said was, it feels like Cathy and Kyle are always fighting, but they both, without looking at each other, were able to say the exact amount of fights that they've had in their life. It's three. It's three topics as well. No. It's also three blow-up fights that are the reason for all of the other ancillary bouts of not speaking. But they've only had three fights in their life, which is pretty good for sisters.

No, and I feel like it's really actually relatable to family arguments. Oh, my God, she got her Zofran, you guys. Are you feeling okay?

No, I was feeling queezy. I asked Zack to just go into my medicine pouch. I thought maybe I might have one because it's good to have one of everything in a medicine pouch. If I could give it person a tip.

It looks like you have three.

I had three. This is going to change the game.

Well, I'm wishing you a speedy recovery.

I mean, Zofran is fast acting.

It's literally magic. I'm obsessed with it.

Maybe we could get a Zofran. Sponsorship.

I mean, I've been waiting for an Ozempic sponsorship.

Don't we have the sponsor who does the tell-altern?

We do, but I meant with the real company, like Ozemp, with Novo Nordisk.

Free product.

Right. For life.

You need to be like what Chloe does for that migraine company.

Okay, let's talk about that migraine company, Nertek OTD. Their commercials with Chloe and Lady Gaga are so insane. How much money do you think Nertec OTD spent on those two celebrities?

A good amount. If Travis Kelsey got paid 20 million for Pfizer, then 10 million, maybe. That's a lot. I was going to say less.

A national commercial. I would say when he signed that Pfizer deal, he was less famous than Chloe Kardashian and Lady Gaga.

That's true, but that commercial plays more.

Really? Nerteca is fucking everywhere.

Damn, I never thought about her Nerteca OTT money.

And they got true in there. I think about Nerteca OTT money constantly.

So interesting. I hope she actually uses it. I wonder if it's actually good for her migraines. I know.

Because Chloe has spoken for years about migraines.

If anyone wants to put me in a rise of triptan commercial, I'll talk all day.

Here are the drugs that I would put my weight behind in terms of their efficacy. Ozempic, of course. I'm literally the poster child for it. Zofran, obsessed, goes in tandem with the Ozempic. Advil. When I tell you, Oh, I fucking love Advil, there is not a problem in my life Advil hasn't solved. I feel like that's really it, those three. I love a Tum, too. They really work. Xanax.

Not prescribed, but I like it.

Yeah, of course. Opioids, I'm kidding.

No, I haven't taken Xanax since so long. Me neither.

I don't really like do drugs.

No, not since before any pregnancy. Yeah, before mother. Now, what am I doing on Xanax? Barred out?

No, you couldn't be zonked out. No. Unless you had a real prescription for it, which you literally don't.

No.

How did we get to Nertec?

Oh, you were taking your zoophren. I was just taking my zoophren. But we were talking about Real Housewise Beverly Hills. Anyways, what's good to know is that Kim and Cathy are on good terms right now.

I feel like they have been for a while. I think once Cathy came on the show, it became clear that Kyle and her history of being on the show and talking about the family stuff was really a polarizing thing and a huge reason why the sisters could really never get on the same page for very long.

Yeah. But then they had the falling out from last season about the Aspen night. And now they've worked past that, and now they are good again. And Cathy's really just was supporting her and standing by her when she was talking about all this stuff with Mauricio, and she really just needed a sister, and Cathy was being a good sister.

No, I love Cathy.

Yeah. No, it was really nice to have her back. It's funny, she wasn't on the season for one minute, It, and she's at the reunion.

Because that's queen behavior. No matter how, quote, unquote, irrelevant you are to the storyline, you're the most interesting part.

Yeah, it's true. So, yeah, everyone in the Richard's Hilton Umansky family on their reality shows. It's funny. It is. You can't keep track of what everyone's saying. I guess that's us with our podcast.

Totally.

When then you hear Ben said something on his, and you have to respond to it.

And And I will.

And I will. And I will respond. Margot's always saying crazy stuff on Redheads.

Is she?

Kind of. Now it's where she goes to make her announcement. I know.

That's really huge for your brand.

I know. I'm very excited about it, and I plan to exploit it.

As you should.

She told Redheads exclusive that she was moving. If you guys didn't even know that, you should listen to the new episode of Redheads.

Exactly.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah. It's not a goodbye, it's a see you later. And we still have Deer Toaster.

It's actually the perfect fifth story because Travis Kelsey is in talks to host, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Greater? Reboot. I'm obsessed. Travis Kelsey is capitalizing on his newfound Fame. The Kansas City Chief Star is reportedly in talks to host a reboot of the Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Greater, which would stream via Amazon Prime video. Two insiders told Variety on Tuesday that the game show would feature celebrity guests rather than children. Despite his interest in the program, producers are hesitant to extend an offer over questions of his availability.

Rather than the children? How do you have Are You Smarter Than a fifth grader without the fifth graders?

Rather than children? I don't know. You need both.

You I mean, you don't really need the fifth graders because you're answering fifth grade level. That's what they learn in fifth grade. But the kids were so funny and snarky. Although I do love putting less children after we were just talking about quiet on set, getting children off of those sets. I do like that. But when it comes to the show, those kids were hilarious. That was the whole point. Travis interacting with little fifth graders, that's the magic, no? Yeah.

It's a really cute idea, and I'm sure he's trying to branch out. I think there's a very intentional team behind him as he enters a new chapter of his career. He's still playing football, but one day he won't be. Just like he did SNL and he does his podcast, and now there might be other hosting opportunities for We know he's a TV star. He did Catching Kelsey. Great show.

A thousand %. And this show, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Greeter? It's a beloved, huge American classic. And that's so him. I think it's actually really brilliant. I just don't know the creative of the show if I agree with it.

Without kids, you mean?

Yeah. It was so like very young Sheldon energy.

Yeah. I think it could work without kids.

They should really have that kid host the show.

Young Sheldon. Even though he's old Sheldon now. Teeny Sheldon.

I'll just really never be okay with, specifically, young boys going through puberty on television. It's really uncomfortable for everyone. Brad?

We know.

It's one of my least favorite things.

Imagine how they feel.

No, I know. I imagine they, years from now, will be like, Why the fuck were my most horrible, awkward years broadcast We're all over America to see.

And then they'll look at their bank account and they'll say, Okay. That's why. That's fine. I'll allow it.

So true. Okay, so those were the fast five stories. And we're going to get into Deer Toaster's, our weekly advice segment, where you can write in to us. Either head over to thetoastpodcast. Com. There's a little submission box there, totally anonymously. Or email us, deerteosters@gmail. Com. What are you going through? Do you need advice from your two favorite squirrel friends? We'll help you. And today, we've got a note from a sober mother. Hi, swirleys. I'm a sober mother of two. I recently started making some mom friends at my son's preschool. Nobody knows that I'm sober, and on playdates, when somebody has offered me a cocktail, I've always tried to defer while not disclosing my situation. I am not ashamed of my sobriety. I'm actually very proud. It will be 12 years in May, but I also just met these women, and I'm not sure how much I want to tell them. I got invited to a mom's night out next week, and I just... Sorry. I got invited to a mom's night out next week. Should I just tell them when they offer me a drink, or should I just keep making excuses?

Whatever you're comfortable with. I feel like there's so many fake excuses that you could come up with. I also feel like most of the times when I'm hanging out with moms, we actually don't drink. Someone's always pregnant, someone's always breastfeeding. I don't drink. I feel like it's okay to say no, especially when you have such young children, they're in preschool. It's not like everyone's getting lit up. You got to be up early the next morning changing diapers. I don't know. I don't think you should worry so much about it. And you can be honest if you feel like you want to open up to these people. And if you just don't feel like having that conversation, there are so many reasons why you could be like, The truth for me, I get such bad hangovers. I can't be a hungover mom.

No, but also I feel like you can and should be honest, but you also don't need to say, I'm in recovery. You just say, I don't drink. Like, plenty of people don't drink.

Plenty of people don't drink.

And then once you know these people, you can tell them your story and how you're at 12 years. But just say, No, I don't drink. Margaret Joseph doesn't drink. It's like, People don't drink.

Yeah.

I would say, I don't drink.

I don't think that drinking is germane to motherhood friendships and friendships for new moms or young moms. It's not a huge part of the equation. If you were going on spring break, that's something else. But I feel like it's not even a major factor.

I also think, and correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm literally not a mom, but I feel like having mom friends is really germane to survival of motherhood, having people to commiserate with. I don't know. I would tell them this part of you. Share that with them. It It could lead to real connection. Yeah.

I don't see why not to share, but everyone's different. If there's a real reason why you don't want to share, there's other things you can do. But I think sharing would be nice.

I think sharing would be nice, too. Okay. Dear Jackie and Claudia, recently, I went on my final spring break trip of college with my five closest girlfriends. We stayed at my friend's dad's private resort where we were literally the only people there besides a security guard and a house manager. After the house manager left for the day and the guard wasn't there, we went skinny-dipping in the pool. We laughed and giggled the whole It was so dark, you really couldn't see anything on anyone. However, when I told my boyfriend about it, he seemed upset with me. I told him it was about the act of feeling free and comfortable with my five closest girlfriends, but he still seemed annoyed. Did I violate the respect between us? Should I have opted out of the skinny Dipping? No, your voice is a fucking loser. Like, grow up.

Yeah.

Unless you guys are like, Hello, religious or something, and it violates your code of conduct for each other. But if you're not, literally, who Who cares if he's jealous? You're not a lesbian.

No, I don't think he's... I can't get into his frame of mind. I think he's overreacting. Don't feel bad about it. You did nothing wrong.

You literally did nothing wrong. But how do you resolve this, I think, is the question. What are you going to pander and apologize? No, because I feel like that sets a bad precedent. Just because you have a feeling doesn't mean I need to apologize. Your feeling is wrong.

Yeah. You could say, I'm sorry that we weren't on the same page about something like that.

I love that. I love a skirt around an apology where Did you say, I'm sorry, but you're not really taking responsibility.

No, I'm not sorry for the thing you want me to be sorry for, but I'm sorry that that was not something that I understood that you would be upset about. And next time, I just won't fucking tell you, Narc.

That's, I think, a real lesson here as well. Not everybody needs to know everything. Even a person you're closest to in this world.

Yeah. Nothing about what you did affects him whatsoever.

No, and this is a special girlhood memory. Leave him alone.

Yeah.

Loser. He's giving loser.

Don't tell him next time.

Yeah, no, that's the lesson here. He can't handle certain information, so he shouldn't get the security clearance, much like Oppenheimer.

He doesn't have the clearance.

And neither did Oppenheimer because you want to know why? He was a snitch. He was a communist, but same thing. No, he was really smart, but he was low-key communist energy. So they weren't going to give him the highest level of security clearance because do the work, but we're not going to give you that level. Yeah.

It makes sense.

It makes sense at the time. Okay, our third and final we have from one of our Gen Z tosters. I love when one of our Gen Z tosters write in. Hey, Jackson Turd. I'm a high school senior, and I need a prom date. I have a little over two months, and I have no prospects. Please help. Advice needed. Thanks. A swirly looking for a prom date. Prom is so hard. Prom is so hard because either you have a boyfriend, which nobody does, by the way. Normalize not having a boyfriend in high school, or you go with a friend. It's like, that's not fun. You just want your crush to ask you out, and that never happens.

I don't really know. What I'll say is, which it's not going to feel this way right now, but Ultimately, it doesn't matter. You know what I mean?

So true. Don't put too many eggs in this basket. You will never remember who you went to prom with. Unless you ended up marrying him, which would never happen either.

Even if your crush asked you or you go with a friend or someone you're not that excited about, it doesn't matter. Your life Life is going to start after prom.

No, but also a prom date is just a means to an end. You just need to go because that's the societal standard. You go with a date, whatever, find someone to go with. Then once you get there, you just hang out with your friends. You literally don't even hang out with your date.

I would just choose someone at random.

And know that it's really not that serious. It has no bearing on your romantic future. It's just simply a means to an end. You need to do the pictures. You can go without a date, but then in the pictures, you're like that.

You need some arm candy.

Yeah, I don't believe in not having a date because like, women empowerment.

You need a date, okay? Yeah, it's still the prom.

Yeah, you need a date for the photos.

And if you had told me this, I would say, Shut up. No, it means more than anything. It does mean more than anything in that moment. I I understand that. I'm just letting you know, zoomed out, it doesn't mean what you think it means, but I understand in this moment, it means everything. I would just look around the cafeteria. See what you're looking for. It's someone at random. I'm going to make you You, my prom date.

Obviously, we watch so many movies. You want to go with the coolest guy. The girls who go with the coolest guys and never have any fun, the coolest guys are dumb and moronic and can't hold a conversation. I would seriously go with the nerd who takes off his glasses and everybody realizes he's handsome. One, that's the type of guy you actually have the most potential to actually marry. And those guys always end up making a lot of money. The jocks always end up with no career prospects. The nerds, they start companies. They get patents that generate a billion dollars in revenue. I would go for the nerdy guy. You honestly probably would A, have the best time, and B, the most potential.

Yeah, I like it.

He's just as worried as you are that no one's going to ask him. So true. Just strike up a conversation and just drop the hit. Guys like that need to be pushed a little bit. If you wait around for him to ask, he might not just go over and be like, Do you have a date for prom? And then he'll be like, No. And then you say, Me neither. And then he'll be like, Oh, I should ask this girl. You know? Yeah. I love that for you.

Yeah, that's exciting.

And prom is so exciting. And this is what I always say to our Gen Z swirleys who write in. You're a high school senior. Oh, my God. And what month is it? Oh, my God. It's like the second half, second semester. You don't have any work to do. You know where you're going to college. This is the most This is a fabulous time of your life. They write epic novels and movies about this time of your life. Enjoy it. Don't be bogged down by insecurities. Oh, who am I going to go prom with? Nobody fucking cares. Eventually, people forget about it literally the next day. So just enjoy this time in your life. You're obviously a toaster, so you have an amazing head on your shoulders. You probably already know this, but just enjoy. Live in the moment. Get off your phone. I'm so happy for you. Enjoy.

Yeah. I love that.

I love you.

Oh, love you, too.

I have got to start my day.

Busy, busy.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast. The My Night, My New Show, where we tell the fast life stories you need to know every Monday, Friday, and YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video. Thumb up. We're also available on this podcast, and we're podcasting. We found on this podcast, and we found on this podcast.. If I start you about how beautiful sounding and wickedly talented we are. Love you.

Love you. Bye.