Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Monday. Hope everybody had a great weekend. Jacks, or should I say, Miska.

Miska, if you're listening to these episodes in succession, I left you on a cliffhanger on Friday. What am I doing this weekend?

If you're not listening to these episodes in succession, what are you doing? Oh, of course.

But maybe someone listened on Friday, waited two days on Monday. But maybe some people saved Friday's episode, and they're going right into Monday, which is how I like to consume content. Sometimes I don't have to end on a cliffhanger. This weekend, I went to Disney World in Orlando, Florida, with my family, Olivia and her family. It was the trip of a lifetime.

Now, to be clear, let's just clear up some rumors before they get started. Okay. You went with your children. You were not Disney adulting around the park. I know the consequences of what you do, you never know what's going to happen. It did turn out that our eldest sister Olivia actually is a Disney adult. We didn't know.

And became a Disney adult. She didn't know either. It took over. The spirit of the Disney adult took over for Troudskin. But yes, we took our families. We weren't just like adults picking up and deciding to go to Disney. It was for the kids. They love a lot of the Disney characters, and we felt that they would really get a lot if we did it and we went. I had said on the show a few weeks ago that Disney was in our future this season, and we We made it happen.

And how do you feel now? You got home last night.

I got home last night. I feel broken, physically, mentally, everything. I feel accomplished.

Of course.

I feel happy.

She feels happy.

I feel full of memories and good times and food. Because the thing about Disney, it's like you're either starving or you're about to puke because the only food that you can get there is just so gluttonous.

But they don't sell salads.

They actually do sell salads, but you can't customize no dressing.

Oh, not very accommodating Disney parks.

No, that was one of my thoughts or critiques about the park. There really isn't healthy food. It's just like, why? You have literally everything there. It's not like there's no expense spared at the Diz.

Yeah, at the Diz. Okay, so I know you did the Firework Show. I know you did the Mickey parade. You were limited, of course, on what rides you could do because with small kids. But highlights, lowlights, best part, worst part.

So So the highlights for me were the things that the kids enjoyed most. And I guess, surprisingly, what the kids enjoyed most was the shows, the parade, just seeing the characters, Mickey and his friends come on stage at the Castle at Magic Kingdom. Once an hour, once every two hours, and they do this little dancing show. And Harry, that was the best thing that he saw. And that wasn't even on our schedule. We just happened to be walking by and saw it. So for kids their age, really, the parade was amazing. There was actually another parade that we saw. There was Mickey's Philhar magic, which was a little magic show, movie type of thing. Really, really cute. So the things where they could see the characters, they love the best. The rides, a lot of waiting, a little It was a payoff.

Yeah. Well, I remember going as a child, and I remember meeting the characters whom I, of course, had come to know and love on my television screen, and actually being flicked out and not excited but scared. But they're enormous compared to you. And I just remember being scared of them.

They weren't scared, but they were definitely... You would never know that Harry is obsessed with Mickey. He was playing it super cool. Oh, hi, Mickey. You want to hug my mom?

What do you do? By the way, I have a memory of meeting the Lion King character. I think, who was it? Maybe Rafeeki and hysterically crying.

Yeah, it could be overwhelming. Then we stumbled. We were at Epcot on Sunday, and we were just walking in this area, and they were like, Are you here for Daisy? I was like, No, we're just taking pictures. Then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, it's Daisy Duck, like Donald's wife.

Oh, Duffy's.

Wait, Duffy. Donald's wife, Daisy.

Who's Duffy Duck?

She's from Looney Toons?

Oh, she's not affiliated with this family? Okay, my bad.

We're like, Oh, shit, Dazy. We're at the front of the line. We're like, Okay, yeah, well, me, Daisy. The kids love the ducks. Then they come out. She's like, Running late. They're like, Daisy's running a little late. We're like, Okay.

Okay, Daisy's a diva.

They're like, Daisy's having a fashion emergency. She won't be for an hour and a half. Where the fuck was Daisy?

Wait, what's the day?

She was drunk. She was hungover.

Daisy was drunk. A hundred %. She was caught drinking on the job.

And up until that point, I was going to say, the park runs so- Like a well-oiled machine. Smoothly, so amazing. It's incredible the amount of people that go through the park every single day or every single year. For the volume, there's really not that much charge and not that much waiting. And the lines for security, they move. Everything moves.

It's not- I love that.

It's not so painful. Everything was so on time. Even you do the Genie app and the lightning lines and everything really moves. And that was the first hiccup we had because I need to know what was going on with DC. I just need to know.

Now, let me ask you a question. Now, a lot of adults who go to Disney, not Disney adults, adults who go to Disney with their children, really marvel at the drinks. Apparently, Disney is really known for its cocktails, but you were with your kids, and I know you don't really drink, but did anybody They have a cocktail?

The first night, Olivia, I'm putting together a little reel from the trip, so you'll be able to see.

By the way, you guys are going to record a podcast, right?

We are going to record a podcast because we have so many funny stories from the trip. So it'll just be fun to rehash it. And then also we'll take some questions if you want tips for going to Disney, because Olivia is officially a Disney expert. She could be a Disney tour guide. She was giving us all these fun facts about Disney, about the history, why Epcot is called Epcot. Why is it called Epcot? It stands for experiential places countries. It stands for something. It was meant to be a futuristic vision of the world. Obviously, when we're now living in the future, it doesn't really look like that. But Epcot was not what I expected. It was giving Zen garden.

No, the best thing to come out of your trip to Disney is this inside family joke that Olivia is a Disney adult. Olivia, by the way, it's worth mentioning because I don't want to disgrace her name. Olivia would absolutely never go to Disney by choice without her kids. Up until this weekend. No, I'm saying in the future.

She never had.

No, I don't think she would go again without her kids. Well, no.

She would bring her kids because it's like, what are they doing? What would she be doing? But if for some reason she had to go to Disney without her kids and adult, I think she would love it.

Oh, wow. That's a heinous accusation.

Yeah. No, I'll have her respond to these charges. But it was funny because she was doing all the lightning lanes and the Genie. The first ride that we did of our trip was this Peter Pan ride, which they said is the best for kids of all ages. The line was really long, and We were like, and this was the first thing we were doing. It set a bad precedent. We're like, this is supposed to be a lightning lane. And throughout the weekend, we were like, yeah, but Peter Pan line was long. And she was like, that's not how the Genie app is supposed to work. When it works right, it will not be like that. And Shapiro was like, did you work on the team that built the Genie app? She was so defensive of Genie.

I just want to say I have absolutely no FOMO from you guys going to Disneyland, but I can imagine how much you guys were just poking fun at one another and laughing so hard. I'm like, That gives me FOMO.

It does. Laughing so hard. I came away with the conclusion that Olivia and my husband actually really thrived at Disney. I see that. They brought out the best in them. They took it all on gracefully, positively.

I love that.

Conversely, Shapiro and I- No, I could see Disney bringing out the worst in Shapiro. We are not of the Disney elk. Shapiro and I were not of the Disney elk.

I would have loved to have watched a reality show episode of you guys at Disney. So funny.

Well, that will be when Olivia and I podcast, we will share all the highs and lows. But it really is the most magical place on Earth. But what's so funny is you go from the highest of highs, just watching your child. It's magical. It's really, truly magical. To then the lowest of low is brink of divorce.

No, that's so relatable.

Also not letting your child see this low point that you take. The misery.

Yeah.

I just wanted to say- I needed that belly laugh.

That is funny.

Every family that's walking around there, every parent who's- It's a universal experience. Yeah, no. And I just want... The parents who are there taking their children, you are amazing parents. You're amazing. And by the way, if you don't take your kids to Disney, you're also amazing. Okay, calm down.

It's just like, you could go-Oh, my God. You're being so funny today.

You could go to Disney and just sit and watch people. I didn't have the time to watch people because I have to watch my own children. But a solo traveler could just go and watch people. It would be an anthropological experience to watch these couples breaking down in real-time.

Totally.

I want to go now. No, you should go. Also what it was reminding me of a little bit, with the outfits and everything, these three-day Paris tour? No, it was like, adult, a family version of Coachella. It's like, What are the outfits going to be? Okay, I'm going to wear my best outfit on Saturday, the full day.

Well, I do want to say you guys planned inadvertently to go at an amazing time where you're experiencing a cold front in Florida. I saw you guys wearing hoodies.

Yeah, no, the kids were wearing gloves bundled up in blankets.

I guess it's not great for the kids, but for the adults. No, it was- Imagine if you had to do all of that in shorts and 90 degree weather.

No, no, no. But what's so weird is that the weekend we went was, they say, one of the least busy weekends of the year. But I don't know why people wouldn't want to go in the cold. Duh. So the mornings, it would be less than 50 there. So the kids wear jackets, but then it warmed up over the course of the day. So the jackets come off and it was beautiful, beautiful weather. But Friday night, I was like, okay, I'll go in my leisure look, not trying too hard. Then Saturday, balls to the walls. The way I was planning outfits, it felt like Coachella. Okay, how do we wear his best fit on Saturday? When we're doing Mickey's headlining, and then Sunday casual heading home, not trying too hard.

Chill, yeah.

Yeah.

That is so funny. I'm so glad you made it out alive. I'm so glad everybody had a good time.

I'm so glad that we did it. And now that we know what we're doing, a lot of mistakes were made by me and my husband.

What would you say is your biggest... And I don't want to spoil the Patreon because you guys are going to do a whole podcast episode. But what would you say is your biggest mistake? If you could part some wisdom to the future parents going.

The mistakes that I made, I don't think other people... We We made some really dumb moves, Zack and I. Are you going to share them? We'll talk about them on the episode because it's just... But not even in planning, in driving. We were just being stupid a little bit, honestly.

Oh, wow. Okay. Well, if you can own it.

Yeah. No, we were being stupid because we were blindly following Olivia, and she's not a mind reader, and she couldn't predict how stupid we were going to be.

Okay. Yeah.

So you'll get all the drama on the Patreon. But no, no regur. It's just even Being there walking down the street, it's magical.

Yeah. No, I get it. And especially, you see it through your kids' eyes.

I started a little list on my phone of lessons of things that I would do differently next time, aside from the dumb human errors that I made. Packing a lunch for the kids. Because the thing is, it's so hard to get food there, and when you decide you want to eat, then it's still another 30, 40 minutes until you get your food. And they can't wait that long. So it'd just be nice to have had also healthy, balanced meals for them. And just in a little bento lunch box, nothing crazy, like a sandwich, so that they could eat whenever they were hungry and we could carry on. It wouldn't just be like, oh, my God, the kids are falling apart and we can't get food.

No, and the whole day stops.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get that.

So A lot of lessons. And I think Olivia and I will put our heads together on the Patreon and come up with another list. And I have a note on my phone so that next time, I don't have to remember, and it'll be just there. Maybe we'll become Disney and we'll pass holders.

I was going to say, as Florida residents, what do you think with children, what do you think is an appropriate amount of times per year to go to Disney? I don't know.

I'd have to ask the class. For us, because for other people, maybe more. Maybe for us, twice. It depends. I'll talk to Trout, but Florida residents do get discounted passes.

I heard.

I guess because our tax money might in some way go towards Disney because it's like a- Tourist-sertion? Yeah, and it has special perks in the state of Florida. It's actually very cool that Disney itself, it feels like its own city, which, by the way- The last time I went, which was one of the worst experiences of my life, I thought the same thing. Whoever runs Disney should be the mayor or the president because it runs smoothly. I didn't see any crime. The streets were clean. The clocks were on time. Really, a well-run city. But Olivia was telling us that it's one of the only non-government, non-space spaces where there's a no-fly zone overhead. You can't fly airplanes over Disney.

Wait, that's so crazy.

A lot of interesting factoids about Disney.

I'm going to have to listen to this podcast with you and Olivia.

No, it's going to be hysterical, and we'll just go through every moment.

Jackie keeps sending in our family chat. She said this bedroom, obviously, it's literally looked like AI. Make me a bedroom for a kid who's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. It's like, The bed is Mickey. It was Olivia's new bedroom. It's so funny. It's my favorite running joke in the family. We could not have had more different weekends.

No, we could not have. What did you do, turdaloo?

Deathly ill. From the last podcast you guys heard, Friday morning, I was getting a little sick. Oh, my God, the whole weekend, miserable. I haven't left my house since Thursday.

How do you feel now? Not great. You look good. I sound good.

No, I am definitely sick, but I got tested. It's nothing contagious, so I got to work.

Yeah.

I got to work.

Don't you miss the days where you're like, I'm sick, and everyone's like, Stay home.

Don't work. Yes, but it also made me think, remember when you used to get I was sick during the weekends as a kid, and there was nothing worse on the planet. My God, I couldn't have gotten sick during the week. Now I have to miss my whole weekend. That's how I felt. Yeah.

Now for us, it's like a holiday falling on a weekend.

Yes, exactly. I know we're going to talk Because I'm sure the stories are about football. I watched every minute of football this weekend. Something I really did want to talk about is me and Ben have started The OC, and we're pretty deep into it now. I would say we're 10 or 11 episodes into it. I have an extremely hot take.

It's not good?

It's not hitting for me the way Gossip Girl did. I feel like it's a bad show with a lot of redeeming qualities, Sandy Kenyan. I mean, Sandy Cohen.

How far along are you?

Ryan's living permanently with them. He's been with them for a while. I would say I'm in the middle of season one because I know the seasons are really long.

I would say it takes a while for it to become really addicting and really good. The dialog gets better, the characters get better.

But I have to say, Ben is obsessed. As somebody who's watching it the first time, he literally... When I asked to turn on the football game, he was so mad. He is obsessed. I know when we go back and watch old shows, we're always like, Oh, the main character is the worst. I feel like a lot of people experience that with Serena and Gossip Girl. I experience that with Susan Meyer and Desmer Housewives.

You'll experience that with Marissa.

Okay, that's what they say.

Marissa might be worse than Serena.

For sure. Why does nobody talk about the woeutiest woeut of all? Ryan. Oh, my God. I fucking hate Ryan.

You would hate Ryan.

Oh my God. Everything he does gives me the ick. Oh my God. I think he's disgusting. Jackie, I hate this man. Hey, been Marissa? Perfect. Perfection. Perfect for each other.

The most annoying people.

No, it's like his whole life, he gets a chance at a new life. The summer is over. They're sending him to school. He obviously just can't go to this school. It's a very prestigious school. It He's a placement exam. While he's taking the placement exam, Summer and Seth are like, Ryan, we need you. We need to break Marissa out of the hospital. She's upset. Her parents are getting divorced, and they want to send her to a facility. We have to break her out. Oh, yeah. Let me throw my whole future away for this girl. I haven't even kissed yet. I get so dumb.

So dumb. No, they're a perfect couple because she's like a moron. He has a savior complex. So he can keep saving this moron who keeps getting into dumb situations.

Okay. In the episode we watched last night, I got the biggest ick from Ryan when... He tried out for the soccer team, and he put on this soccer outfit. He was like, There's nothing wrong with him. He was just wearing really long shorts below his knee and this gray T-shirt, and he was running just like such a freak. I was like, such a I was like, I hate. And honestly, love Luke, so hot.

Love Luke.

Yeah, he cheated on her or whatever. I know he gets worse, but love.

No, but he gets better.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, he becomes one of the guys.

It's really killing me just not to scream things out at Ben because I know the big things of what happens in the show, but I don't know the little plot twists of how we get there. But I just want to say, I'm just dying to tell Ben.

Are you loving, though, Now, Sandy again, Summer again, Seth again?

Okay, I'm so glad you brought that up. Best characters in the show are the Jewish ones, sorry. That's because the creator of the show, who also created Gossip Girl, is Jewish, Josh Schwartz. That's why there was so much Judaism in Gossip Girl, like nobody even noticed. Sandy and Adam, what's his... Seth, are the best characters, hands down. It's because they're Jewish, I'm telling you. Now, Summer is a fucking bitch. I know she gets better when she finally falls in love with Seth and they become a couple, yada, yada. But she's so awful, really awful. I don't know how I'm going to like her. She's evil. You will.

It's crazy how you can- She's the Chuck best.

She is the Chuck best.

It's crazy how a show can make you like someone, someone who you wish would get killed off. Eventually, you're like, Oh, they're okay. Like Adam Carrington on dynasty.

Right. Who did you ask me? Seth Summer Sandy.

Yeah, that was it.

Okay.

Oh, and Julie Cooper-Nickel Cooper. A spoiler alert.

By the way, Julie Cooper is in- Her name is a spoiler alert. But right now, she's just Julie Cooper. She's thinking about getting divorced from Jimmy Cooper.

She's actually so mean.

Evil. She's Summer Roberts' grown up, by the way.

It's so funny.

She is Summer Roberts' grown up. Ryan was pissing me off. She doesn't want to live with screaming. You just got here, you're screaming at the neighbor that her daughter doesn't want to live with you anymore. Know your place, bitch. Take a fucking seat. He's insane. By the way, at that point, he hadn't even kissed Marissa. They just liked each other. I can't. He's the worst. He's so icky. And honestly, he's short, and I don't like him.

Hey, not surprising, but funny.

No, but every time people rewatch the OC, they're like, Wait, Marissa was the worst. Yeah, we need to talk about Ryan.

Yeah. And I think he's meant to be the moral compass of the show. Yes.

But he's literally the dumbest bitch alive making the worst decisions. Yeah. No, I think Sandy Cohen is the moral compass.

Yeah, for sure.

That's the journey we went on this weekend while I was sick.

Very fun. Jolly Good Time.

Jolly Good Time. Jolly Good Show.

Yeah, Jolly Good Show. We do have a great show. As you said, there was a lot of football, so that's our first story. I didn't get to watch the football, but I did watch Liz Wood's story, so I do feel like I was there.

But I'm going to tell you everything. I watched every minute of the game.

Yeah, but I I know who won the game. I've got the overall picture, plus Zack was watching living rooms. Every time I came out to wash a bottle or something, I checked the score. We listened to it in the car on the drives.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. It was the least I could do. He was driving nicely. I didn't want for much. Bruno was chilling. Bruno came to Disney, too.

But he didn't come to the park.

No. But we did see that they had a place called Best Friends Pet where you can drop your pets off because they literally think of everything.

Wait, that's so smart.

So smart. Instead, he stayed at the hotel because our hotel was dog friendly. We stayed at the J. W. Marriott Bonnet Creek, and Bruno was in heaven.

Wait, I love that.

Yeah. No. He got to see the Diz. He got to go to Orlando. Bruno's extremely well-traveled and cultured.

Yeah, he went to Orlando.

Yeah, he's extremely cultured. It wouldn't have been a fun family weekend without Streisand.

No, I'm so glad he got to experience even the littlest bit of that Disney magic.

Yeah, because even when you drive, it's Mickey on the highway sign.

Mickey saying- Oh, my God. The kids were probably freaking.

Yeah, except Harry's car seat has turned backwards, so he missed all of that.

What about in the mirror? Maybe he saw it in the mirror.

Maybe he saw it in the mirror, but he had it sun shield up. I don't know what he saw. But if he were in the Tesla, it's all sunroof, and he gets to see a lot. But that's Daddy's Kia for you.

No, you needed the big family car.

Yeah. What do you mean? What's a big family car?

The Kia. You couldn't have taken the Tesla to Disney.

No, you sound like Zack.

You needed the loser's mom car.

You sound like Zack being like, How could we take the Tesla? He just wants to put my car down because it's so superior to his.

No, by the way, you should be grateful. What do you want to shit up your car at Disney? Let the Kia get shitted up.

I mean, it wasn't like, shit it up.

No, but it's hours in the car with two kids, all the stuff, snacks, of course. Don't do it in the nicer one.

I know. That's why we need a minivan.

If you got a minivan, maybe the Shapiros and the Wine Rims could all go together.

Well, the Shapiros have a Wagoneer, and still, we couldn't all go together.

Did you want to go in one car?

Not to the drive up, because why not have all the space? But we should have maybe gone all in one car to the park.

Oh, yeah.

That was a lesson.

A lesson.

So anyways, good time, sad by all. Let's get into the stories without further do do do do about Miskermuska Mickey Mouse.

Oh my God. That was our funniest intro, yet. I was cackling.

Disney will do that to you. It'll bring out the best of you. It's the joy. And the worst. So that might be later in the episode. Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

The fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Hinge, the dating It's a dating app that's designed to be deleted. Why? Well, Hinge gives you a sense of someone's personality and it lets you share your own. You get to know potential dates through their unique answers to prompts. Plus, you get a sense of someone's dating intentions and what they're looking for. What I like most about Hinge, from what I hear from the single gals is like, everyone who's on there, their intentions are to date. Now, you would think that's so obvious. Why would anybody go on any dating app without the intention of dating? Well, it happens quite a bit, actually, more than you would think. Everybody on Hinge is serious about dating, meeting someone, getting into a relationship. It's not a waste of your time if you're looking for a serious relationship, which I really appreciate.

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Get dressed for a date just to be a waste of time.

Yeah, you want to be certain that you're putting your efforts in the right direction.

Yeah, and what's worse than really getting all dressed up, spending all this time going out with someone who's not looking for something serious. So get off the app, okay?

But those people aren't on Hinge, which is why you can appreciate Hinge because everybody on Hinge knows we're here to meet someone. I met my husband in part thanks to Hinge, and we just went to Disney World.

Yeah. By the way, I do think that that's what makes Hinge superior. It's the crop of people who are on it. They all are just actual people for actual relationships.

Yeah, because that's how Hinge positions itself, which is important. Right.

Download Hinge and find someone worth deleting the app for. The Hinge app is able to download. Go do it. Your future starts now. Today's episode is also brought to you by Dermalogica. Dermalogica's Daily Microfoliant, which is an exfoliant from their skincare line, is a favorite amongst the Dermalogica fans. It's activated with water and it's a gentle rice-based powder exfoliant that polishes and removes dulling debris for smoother, brighter skin. I'm such a big fan of exfoliating my skin. I've used exfoliators that are pretty harsh, and they leave my skin really red, and I don't even have sensitive skin. I found the Daily Microfoliant on TikTok. It went viral because it's very ASMR. You don't just squeeze it out and rub it on your face. It looks like sand almost. And then you put water on it and you rub your hands together and it, what's the word I'm looking for? Effervesce, if you will. And it's really fun and cool to use. But what's so great about it, it's an amazing exfoliant that you can use every day. Most exfoliants, since they're so harsh and have crazy chemicals in them, you can only use them two times a week.

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Great. Thank you so much. Our first story, football. Semi-finals, I think, where this weekend, it was the game before It's before the game, before the game.

Yeah, it's the game before the division championships. Right.

So semifinals, then next week would be the finals. No. The finals of the conferences.

No. I think we would consider this week the quarterfinals.

Okay. Quarterfinals next week.

Upcoming games, semi.

And then the Super Bowl. So this was important in terms of who would win. The packers played the Niners.

And let me say, they gave him a good run for their money. They did. Oh, my God. Wait, I'm obsessed. Have you seen the clip going viral? From this game, this enormous defensive player. By the way, the games were so tense. Everybody was physically fighting in every game. And the packers versus Niners one had a lot of fighting. People were throwing words around, and one of the packers players tried to get involved, but this enormous defensive lineman just put his hand out, and the player fell to the ground. He put no effort. Jackie, do you know who the player was?

The player who fell to the ground? Yeah. Christian McAfree?

No, it was a packer's player.

Who fell to the ground? Yep. Who do we know except for Aaron Rodgers?

The fact that you don't even know makes the story even greater. Simone Biles' husband. Jonathan always like, he literally went viral because the guy didn't even touch him, and he literally fell completely to the ground. Stop. So the Niners won, which was so fabulous. There was so much to take away from that game. The packers, it was a close call. Not really, but the whole time, it wasn't Obviously, the Niners are winning. It was a good game. They tried their best. That quarterback, Jordan Love, he's got his career.

I saw an interview with him. He's like, he was waiting. The theme of his career is patience because he didn't start as a quarterback until his sophomore year in college. Then he waited on the bench. That was one year. He waited on the bench as Aaron Rodgers was quarterback for three years out of a four-year contract that he has, Jordan Love.

No. I think people from the packers, Aaron Rodgers was their guy. You don't get back-to-back guys. You get a few good years with a guy.

You know what they call that instead of the guy? I think they call that a franchise quarterback. Yes. Which means a guy.

Their guy. I don't think anybody expected much from him. He's really fabulous, really, really fabulous.

I think the team is very young and fresh now, and they're just killing it.

No, I love that for them. I wish them the most, but not up against my Niner game family.

No, no, no, no. Even though- The watch has ended.

I want to say, Jordan Love versus Brock Purdy. Jordan Love was amazing. Brock Turdy was so bad. He almost lost the game for the team.

Yeah, Zack was saying that Brock Purdy is not good.

He's not.

The thing is- But he's not a franchise quarterback. He's not meant to be. I just saw a meme this morning, and it's not a meme, it's just an image with text on it, that Lamar Jackson, the quarterback for the Ravens, will make $80 million this year, and Brock Turdalou is going to make 870,000. He's not a franchise quarterback.

No, he's not. The thing is, the 49ers team is so perfect in every way. George Kittle, Kyle Uschek, Christian McHaffrey, they've got the guys. Debo Samuels, Everyone else is doing level 10, 10 out of 10, A plus. They've made it this far despite the fact that really, they don't have a quarterback. I know what happened with Brock last year was Jimmy Garoppolo got injured, and this fourth string quarterback came up, and he wasn't so bad. It was this cool Jeremy Lynn moment, almost. It was like, Oh, cute, fun. But why when the season was over, did they not get a real quarterback? Why did Aaron Rodgers go to the 49ers? Why did they get someone? Because that's what I was saying. If they had Jordan Love or just someone who's not the biggest name, but who's decent, they would just be winning, period. It wouldn't even be a question. I wonder if everyone on the team is frustrated. Why don't we have a real quarterback?

It's a good question.

So if they don't win the Super Bowl or make it to the Super Bowl, it'll be because of that. It won't be because of anyone else.

Okay. That's a good sports analysis.

So it was really fun to watch. I was really happy for them. But I do worry because they're playing the Lions. The Lions won yesterday. They beat the Bucaneers, Baker. I We know everything now. Baker Mayfield.

He tried. And they were the wild card. They shouldn't even gotten this far.

No. And they should have gotten smoked. It was really a nail-biter till the last couple of minutes.

We had a game.

We love when people give us something to talk about. I wish them well. They did a really great job. I wanted them to win because the winner of that game plays the Niners. Of course, I wanted the worst team to win.

I saw that in your story, but wouldn't you say the team that wins is the better team? I know someone could win on a fluke and there's the refs and this and that. Things happen. Things happen. But technically, the team that won would be the better team regardless of who wins.

No, I don't agree with that because so many rules in football make no fucking sense. What I learned last night, a touchback. Do you know that if you run the into the end zone, but you fumble. Not only does a countdown not count, you turn over the ball to the other team.

But there's a fumbal.

Yeah, but not a turnover. Just a fumbal. You just drop the ball so the thing doesn't count.

You drop the ball when?

While you're in the end zone.

You have to hold it for how many seconds until a fumble?

I don't know, but you fumbal it.

That makes sense.

Why? But if you fumbal it on a regular catch, you don't turn it over. You just lose it.

Turning it over is a little messed up. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. That's a little extreme.

It's a little extreme. Yeah. No.

They just make rules up in this game every time it's like, I don't know. Just because you win doesn't mean you're the better team. I stand by that. Okay.

That's definitely up for debate. I don't disagree, but I think It could be a great debate for someone else.

So then Detroit and- And the Bucaneers.

The Bucaneers. The debt has been on my mind a lot lately because the debt tosters are not letting this go.

No, they're not.

And they're making a really good case for the debt. And every game that the debt wins, it's like, We haven't won this game in 60 years. And then the next one, 70 years. So I do like the history of it all. I think their shade of blue is a gorgeous shade of blue.

I'm so glad you brought that up, it's pastel.

It's a really beautiful shade of blue that I wouldn't mind seeing on the Super Bowl field. I wouldn't. I agree. Especially if they played the purple. Now we're.

The Super The Super Bowl logo, Conspiracy Theory is very much-Oh, yeah, we talked about it. It's very much intact because the Ravens and the Niners are both in, and it's making it seem like a possibility.

The thing is, though, the debt blue color is not a primary color, so it would never be in the Super Bowl logo because that would be weird.

Wait, but purple is not a primary color.

No, but the shade of purple, it's not like they're the lavenders.

Oh, I know what you mean. But also, Ben and I- It's not a hard blue. I said, do you really feel like the NFL is scripted? He's like, maybe, but they wouldn't be dumb enough to tell you with the logo. It's so true.

It could be an Easter egg.

Yeah, they might have interest. It's definitely in their best interest to get the Chiefs to the Super Bowl. So many people tuning in for Taylor.

It's in their best interest. It's in their It's in their best interest. Except Taylor really can't go. We checked her tour schedule. Oh, that's true, actually. But maybe she can make it work. She has a plane.

Yeah, but it's in their best interest to give a good call to the refs over here, for sure. They're not going to broadcast it in the logo. They're not leaving us Easter eggs. They don't want us I'm trying to figure it out.

The red in the logo could be the Chiefs, too. But there's no Purple for them to play against.

Right, exactly. Yesterday, I was thinking, actually, the Bucaneers could win and then play the Niners, and then maybe the Bucaneers win, and Bucanineers. Bucanineers, and they're the red. But no, they lost.

They were not the red. No. I was being hopeful. But I don't think anybody feels bad for the Bucaneers. One, they were the wild card Mazel Toe for even getting to this place. And two, they just won a Super Bowl recently. It's not your time.

But can I tell you who I actually do feel bad for?

Who did the debt play?

No, not them. Oh, them.

The Bills. The Bills. The Bills are Bills strong.

Let me tell you why I feel bad for the Bills. Because I was waiting for them. I'm not going I'm not going to lie. I do love an underdog. It's a New York team. I'm sorry, I'm from New York. You know that Josh Allen? He's got charisma and he's got old tweets. Two things he and I both have in common. I love for Hailey Seinfeld. Yes, I just love him, even though In the DMs, everybody was making me hate him. Apparently, he cheated on his old girlfriend, got a girl pregnant. Hated her off. Yeah. But I'm just sticking to my delusional version of it.

Ignorance is bliss.

He's a franchise quarterback. He's scored so many touch downs. He himself, he ran with the ball. As I was watching the game, I was falling more and more in love with Josh Allen. The team, it's like every year, they get so close, but they never really just get there. I don't know. I was feeling like maybe it's their year, especially when I put them next to the Chiefs who I'm like, no offense. I'm just a little bit over. I feel like all we talk about is the Chiefs, and it's Chiefs this, and Chiefs that. They won last year, and it's always their time. I know they're amazing, but I'm just like, Can somebody else get a little bit of attention?

The Chiefs are whatever the opposite of the underdog is. They are that, the obvious choice. Always winning, stays winning. It's annoying. Goliath versus David.

Goliath. Yes. A lot of people were saying, that's very much what it was like for 10 years with Tom braided and the Patriots. It's annoying. Can somebody else have a little fun?

Yeah. I wouldn't have mind the Bills winning either. But considering The Chiefs one, we got what is also a big story from the weekend, which was the tailored celebrations of it all.

Yeah. Taylor was at the game in a suite, which of course we knew she was going to be. But why was this game different from all other games? Well, it was the first playoff game where Travis's brother, Jason, was able to attend. Not only did he attend, but he got wasted. He went to a tailgate before, and he brought his wife. We were talking last week. We feel like Kylie, Kelsey, and Taylor Swift are not friends. Now, they were in the suite together. There were a couple of photos of them talking. I don't think it really proves that they're friends.

No, they behaved, though. But I feel like Taylor can charm anyone.

I know. It's like you think you're not going to like her, and then you meet her, and she's just amazing.

Yeah. I feel like they hit it off. They might have not even ever met up until this point, but I feel like they clicked just because I think it's Taylor's It's her first mission to click. She's not going to have a sister-in-law that she doesn't get along with. She's going to make everyone like her.

Yeah. No. I think her and Jason got along really well, and I feel like they haven't spent a lot of time together. But when you think about it, it reminded me a little bit of in a really wrong way, how before Prince Harry got married, it was like Harry, William, and Kate. They were like a throuple, really. That's really what Jason, Travis, and Kylie, Kelsey have been. He fucking loves his sister-in-law. Now it's Jason's time to give that energy to Travis's new girlfriend. I feel like he went in and just did the most 10 out of 10. I always find it interesting which friends Taylor decides to bring to what game. She brought Cara Delevingne, which I thought was weird until I realized Cara Delevingne is Jason Kelsi. They're the same.

Okay, she is. I agree. I thought it was weird one because also she's not American, so I don't think she cares about football. Because at first I was like, you should bring your Eagles's friend fan, maybe a friend from Pennsylvania. But Cara Delevingne also is sober now?

We reported that.

Well, because she was not in a good place. She had been rehabilitated. I don't know. Some people might come off of one thing, but still drink. So I don't know what...

Me neither. But it's not the type of environment for actually.

It's not even about the type of environment. But I think former Cara Delevingne is more akin to Jason Kelsey than who knows. But even still in all the pictures, she's being silly, goofy.

No, she looked like her old self, like crazy Cara.

She doesn't have to be drinking to be her fun, loving self.

True, true, true. But I don't know. That's a good question. I just always find it interesting who gets the invite to which games. Maybe it's just based on availability.

Yeah, but no, it looked to be like that was the best suite in the house. I mean, it usually is, but they were generally having a jolly good time. Brittany was there.

Brittany was there. Jackson was there.

Oh, I didn't see him.

I did. They're trying to hide him, but I can't. You don't miss him.

I've never met him. They have a suite full of people to keep Jackson down.

It probably sucks for Brittany because I'm sure Taylor would get her own suite, include Brittany. But with Brittany comes all this baggage.

Really? Why does that suck for Brittany?

Because it's like, Hey, Taylor, you want to go to the game together? Can I bring my sex offender brother-in-law?

It sucks. Okay, but she could split from him sometimes. He could go with friends.

No, she can't. That's Patrick's brother.

No, I know, but like... She's stuck to him. Okay, if you were a football player- They are a pack and shield. If you were a football player, Ben and I would go to a lot of games together. But if sometime Ben wanted to go get a suite with the boys, I could fend for myself.

Okay, in this scenario, are you a sex offender? Well, no. No. And by the way, no. It's like, they take a plane there together. They're not going to charter two different planes. And these tickets are so hard to get. They get one big suite for everyone. No, Jackson, you have to go get another suite. Where the hell is Jackson going to sit? That's her brother. It or not, they're blood. Yeah.

No, but Ben could get a suite with his friends and just throw me a couple of tickets.

For sure. But this analogy is just not Congress because you are not a sex offender.

No, but because I'm not a sex offender, I deserve... Say I was, then for sure, he's going to throw me out of the suite and throw me a couple of tickets. But considering we're all good, it still wouldn't be weird that if we don't go to every game together.

I don't know. This is a big game. It's not just a regular season game. That's true. I just think it's interesting.

So that's the news. It was so fun. Also Travis did the heart. Everyone's losing their minds.

So he blew a kiss and then did the heart.

After he scored a touch down.

He scored three. Honestly, it was one of the cuteest things I've ever seen in my life. Sorry.

I loved it. It was really cute. It reminded me, of course, every touch down, he's looking at Taylor like, That's my girl. But to me, that was His equivalent of her changing the lyrics to, Carmen's a guy on the Chiefs. It's like, I'm doing this for you in the stands. I see you. I have eyes only for you.

By the way, love that analogy. Thank you. And so true.

Yeah. You got to make a girl feel special.

No, it was so cute. We got so much footage. Jason Kelsi also took his shirt off. He was obviously really drunk, so excited. Okay, also, I know I'm crazy, but there was this video going around of Jason Kelsi jumping out of the suite, banging on his chest, whatever. I swear to God, I saw two Spritz cans. I know. I know I sound crazy. It looks like there's two passion fruit Spritz cans. Where? Oh, I see them. Right? Now, it's worth noting, we don't sell Spritz at that particular stadium, so there's no way they could have bought it there. But when you have a suite and when you're Taylor Swift, you bring whatever beverages you like inside the suite. I'm just saying it's an option.

It is. I do see something that doesn't look like part of the Spritz can, but- Amazing.

Macy, who runs the Spritz Instagram account, was also posting on the Spritz Instagram story. He's like, Does anybody else think that looks like passion fruit? I wasn't the only one.

Yeah, it does. I see them.

I did look at other angles and stuff, and it's not, but let's pretend it is.

I just feel like Jason Kelsi publicly drinks beer, pounds on his chest, but in the privacy of his own home, cracks open a Spritz passion fruit.

For sure. I didn't think necessarily that Jason was drinking it.

No, I think it's Jason.

Because it was a lot of people.

Okay. I could see that for Jason. Classic Jason.

I could see it for Taylor. Of course.

That's so on the nose.

So on the nose. I just had the best time watching so much football. I'm obsessed. And next week, and you know what? I had to cancel all my plans because I was sick. I'm Saturday night, the night of the Niners game, 8:15. So annoying. I was actually supposed to be out at a dinner. So all's well that ends well. And next week, both the games are on Sunday, and I'm going to the rodeo this weekend. And I actually moved my flight home earlier, so I could be home.

But you could watch on the plane.

Who the hell wants to watch on a plane?

I feel like, what else do you do? I always just watch the airplane on my flight.

Of course, me too, because I'm sophisticated like that. But I want to enjoy. I want to enjoy. I moved my flight home earlier, but I'm excited to go to the rodeo.

Yee-haw, turdy Lou.

This actually is my first rodeo.

Zack thought it was really funny that we call him Brock turdy Lou.

I call him Brock turdy when he plays bad and Brock purdy when he plays But that's an insult to yourself, that turdy would be the negative. No, in this particular scenario, turd is duty. Turd is duty. But when it's me, turd, it means beautiful princess in a foreign language.

Makes sense to me. I told Zack he should listen to Toast, we're hysterical, and we say funny things like this all the time.

Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up.

But what's funny is that he doesn't listen to The Toast, but he listened to my episode of Probably A Podcast, and he's been referencing it all weekend. I was just going to say something about Probably A Podcast. What were you going to say?

Shannon always says, This is a finance podcast because she gives the worst finance advice. She'll buy herself a new Prada bag, but then get an at-home Medicare.

Yeah, or she'll buy herself a new Prada bag, but sell an old one. Therefore, it's free.

This is a finance podcast. She's always saying that when she saves $1, she's like, Oh, got a free Duncan today. This is a finance podcast. This is a sports podcast.

Well, this is a sports podcast. Well, the thing is, this has always been pop culture Entertainment News podcast, if we're being real. I'm like, This is what's going on in pop culture and entertainment. Sorry. So, yeah, we studied up.

So, yeah, we fell in love with the sport. Okay? Sue us. Ben wanted to kill me. He's like, The game is over. Let's go back to watching the OC. And I'm like, literally, a man. I'm like, It's not over. There's two more minutes.

You're like one of those debt fans who wouldn't leave the stadium. Yeah. They were all just sitting there being happy. Also, their quarterback is cute.

Jared, a cutie.

We say they have Every quarterback. Have we ever discovered a team and not made mention of their quarterback? Are we against any quarterbacks? No.

Let me think. Hold on. There's definitely someone I hate. No. But see, here's the other thing that gets me confused about football, because what's his name? The really hot guy from Cincinnati, Joe Burrow. And then there's that guy, Trevor Lawrence, their franchise quarterbacks. Where are they? They get paid hundreds of millions of dollars, and we're not even talking about them right now.

Yeah, they didn't even make it. And like, Brock Purdy, even though he's not the greatest with his 870K, I'm sorry, he deserves a raise.

No, I know, but that's what I don't understand.

It might incentivize him to play better.

How you can be worth hundreds of millions. Joe Burrow has the biggest contract. We're not even talking about him right now.

How the fuck does that make any sense? No, it doesn't make sense that these are the best quarterbacks in the league and you didn't make the play-offs. Because it's a team sport, by the way. Then you're not the best quarterback in the league. Sorry. And Brock Purdy- No, it's a team sport.

Your quarterback can be only so good, If you spent all your money on your quarterback and you don't have the other players.

Yeah, but even if you're... I mean, look at Tom braided. He's a great example of the fact that a quarterback could take you all the way.

No, so true.

Over and over and over again. And he even went to Tampa Bay just to prove that point.

That's what it feels like. Okay, respect. Yeah, respect. No, you're right.

But I agree with you.

Hashtag, Where in the World is Joe Burrow? Remember all the hoopla for Trevor Lawrence? I don't. You don't remember the guy with the long hair? Oh, my God. Everyone was obsessed with him. He married his high school sweetheart. It was actually super cute. He was number one pick, and he just has this long hair and big, big contract. Where are you? Where are you? Then we're talking about two people I never heard of, Jared Goff and Jordan Love. I never heard of him. Makes you think.

Zack was telling me that Brock Berthelou is the only quarterback in the playoffs right now who was not drafted in the first round. He was the last pick.

No. It's an amazing story.

I know he's not good enough, but he is doing really good, and he deserves props, and I think he deserves a raise.

He definitely deserves a raise. I read somewhere, Christian McCafree had to buy tickets for his family. He still makes almost a million dollars a year. That's certainly not living below the poverty line, but those tickets are really pricey. Christian McCafree, obviously, I think he's getting paid $50 million a year, was able to get some tickets, pay for them for It's just not right that everyone on the...

It might make him feel some way, and so he drops the ball. So true. He's looking around. He probably doesn't see players. He just sees their salary, and he's like, poor purdy Lou.

Jackie, Brock Purdy is a man of immense faith.

Yeah, no.

Super, super Christian. I feel like he's so religious to the point where even if he had money, he would put it all on the church plate. I don't think money does anything for him.

For sure. I think his interior life is not guided by money whatsoever. But then he would have more to give to the church plate, and I think that would fulfill him more.

Oh, that's true. Maybe he looks around and he says, My church is suffering.

Your churches are gluttonous. And look at me.

That's where the resentment comes from.

That her church is suffering.

Pernies Church is suffering. Pernies Church is suffering. My God, we're It's so funny. It's insane. Somebody needs to put us on ESPN. This is the most funny conversation that's ever been had in the history of sports. Pernies Church is suffering.

Someone needs to put us on ESPN.

Like yesterday, okay?

Yeah, new dream job.

You know what I think we should... Oh, by the way, you know what I think we should do? I shouldn't say it out loud because we're not going to do it, but we should.

Live broadcast of Super Bowl?

Yeah, on our YouTube channel. That shit would be funny.

A hundred %, and you'll be here.

Yeah, but then we miss the Super Bowl.

We could do something. Okay. Patreon exclusive. Of course. Of course. Patreon. Com/toast. And that's just our first story, guys. Are you ready for our By the way, Jackie, title: Pernies Church is Coming.

Oh, man. I'm sweating.

Are you ready for our next story? Definitely. The other bit of content that was on this weekend, SNL, which I didn't watch one minute of. I totally missed it. But two headlines caught my eye. One- Miss Olivia Jade was there. Miss Olivia Jade. This girl is breathtaking. This picture of her. I know. This outfit, she's perfection. But anyway, she showed up to support her mans who was still her mans who hosted SNL. So all that talk last week, just flush it down the toilet. And Rachel McAdams made a surprise appearance to introduce Renee Rapp. It was Regina on Regina crime.

Okay, back to story number one. Olivia Jade. Told you so. Just wanted to say that. We obviously knew these two were not broken up, and it just feels good to be right. I agree with you. She's so elegante. I fucking love this bitch. I just only wish good things for her. Dating Jacob Alorty is obviously a very good thing.

It is a very good thing. This picture of her leaving Sacks Fifth Avenue in her fur coat. With her fur coat. Everything is perfection. It's not a picture took herself and posted to Instagram. This is a candid moment of a perfect person.

No, I completely agree. I die for her. Now, let's talk about Rachel McAdams, who has been noticeably absent from all things mean girls in the last year between Walmart commercial, all these different things. Convenient timing, Rachel McAdams, but I'm happy you're finally getting in on the fun.

Yeah, but she did an interview and she explained why she wasn't in the Walmart commercial, and she said she had no idea everyone was doing it. I feel like I could see how that could happen where it's like, Oh, I got offered to play an old part in a Walmart commercial. No, thanks. Then you wake up and it's like, Oh, everyone said yes, and I'm the only one who didn't do it. But that also shows that she doesn't communicate with her former cast members, which is hurtful to the mean girls' fandom.

I also imagine that they sent her an offer. Maybe she didn't know, so she said no. Then when everybody got on board, I'm sure they tried one more time to get her on. Being like, Hey, everyone's here. Are you sure?

She said she didn't know.

I know it seems like I'm trying to see the worst in Rachel McAdams, I'm really not.

I just feel like she's not a nefarious person.

I would agree with that. She doesn't give nefarious energy. Yeah.

I feel like she's very genuine. When she says something, I'm going I don't believe her.

Oh, wow. Okay. You're just taking Rachel McAdams at her word. I am.

But I give people the benefit of the doubt. Until you've lied to me and proven yourself to be nefarious- To be a liar. To be a liar, I will believe what you say.

I think that's a good general rule of thumb.

I think so, too. It's hard when it's applying it to people that I don't know.

It's so important to remember. We actually don't know Rachel McAdams. But I get a vibe.

Even in this picture, she's so excited to be introducing Renee Rapp. That's not Someone who's bandwagoning on the mean girls fun.

Agreed. It's cute. It's the Tina Faye of it all bringing SNL together. Renee Rapp was great. She brought out Megan The Stalian. It was jolly good fun. I'm just a little angry I'm angry at Renee Rapp for leaving that show. I know it's so dumb, but I'm angry.

I know. I do think it's a mistake and will turn out to be a mistake, but right now it's not looking that way.

No, of course not, because she's on SNL and she's in this big movie, yada, yada. But She left Sex Lives of College Girls to focus on music because she had a lot going on. But I don't know, you don't just walk away. That show is huge. I think a lot of people don't realize it's good. It really shot her to mainstream success because she was a Broadway queen who Not a lot of people knew, but not in a mainstream way. I just think the show will continue to be huge. I think it was a mistake.

Yeah, but we'll see because we didn't even get a season without her yet, so these things have to play out.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe I'm just saying that because I'm angry because I loved her character, and I just love... The show was perfect, and I don't want it to change. But as long as Kimberly Shalameh... Oh, no, what's her name? Kimberly. Paulina. Her name is Kimberly on the show. Paulina Shalameh remains on the show, playing the role of Dana Holesberg. I think we're okay.

I think so, too. And that feels good. Are you ready for our next story, The Big Drama from the Weekend?

You keep saying that about every show.

No, I said first was the big news, the shows. This was the drama. What was it? Kite Baby.

Oh, I didn't know if you knew about that.

The name on everybody's lips is Kite Baby. The CEO is forced to post two groveling apologies after she fired an employee named Marissa Hughes, who asked to work remotely while her adopted premature newborn was hospitalized. So this has been playing out on the internet. It's really gotten, reached a level.

It exceeded the mama community. Everyone's talking about it.

No, and it burst or even the TikTok community, everyone is talking about this story. There was an employee that works for Kite Baby. Kite Baby, if you don't know, is one of the leading digital brands for kids. I literally, as I'm reading this drama, I'm unboxing a Kite Baby order I just got.

What do you use from them?

Everything. Their clothes are so soft. I love their pajamas. I just got some outfits that are onesies and pants for Charlie because-So it's a clothing company? Clothing Company, really soft. You said digital? Because they don't have stores. They're online.

Oh, so you mean like- E-commerce. Direct to consumer.

Yeah, but they're one of the newer baby brands that's everybody love, that are really getting really big. Okay. In DTC. Dtc, that's That's what I just said, direct to consumer. But I'm not going to go off. But I just need to arrive there on my own. You know what I mean? I needed to find the word I was looking for.

So it's not digital.

Well, you can shop online. Yeah. Anyways, I had just placed a Ky Baby order before this drama. It didn't come until after the drama. So yesterday, I got home and I was opening everything while reading these headlines. I'm like, Oops, but it's too soft to return. Sorry.

No, by the way, whatever is going on online, you still got to buy the best thing for your Sorry.

I probably wouldn't have placed an order in this moment, but while this was happening.

So you stand with the employee? Of course.

The whole world stands with this employee.

Give everyone top to I'm like, what?

The gist. The employee, her name was Marissa. She had been fired after requesting to work from the neonatal intensive care unit at a Texas hospital, the NECU, because she had adopted a baby who was born prematurely. The baby was born at 24 weeks and was in the NECU, like, weighing one pound. Of course, girly couldn't go into work. She asked to work remotely, and instead, she was fired. The baby was born at 22 weeks. I'm sorry.

I mean, any company not being remotely flexible with their parental leave when someone's baby is 22 weeks old in a NICU, that's when you go above and beyond for your employees. The fact that it's a company for babies is so fucked up. It's a successful one. Those are the types of companies that should be giving you the crazy... I forgot who I was just talking to about this.

He's like, New Age benefits, where it's like, maternity leave for life.

I was just talking to a girl who works at Amazon, and I was like, What is it? She just had a baby. I'm like, What do you get three years off? Those are the types of companies that should do... She was like, Yes. Those are the types of companies that should go above and beyond for parental leave because they can. The Kite Baby is exactly this new age. Because they know.

They know what it entails.

She She wasn't even asking for her maternity leave. She was asking to work remotely.

Also, she should get maternity leave. I wonder what the maternity leave policy is for parents that adopt newborn babies because it's still you have a newborn at home. What is maternity leave? Of course. She should have been given maternity Not even... I mean, first of all, her remote work request should have been granted at minimum. But she also should have been given time off at maternity leave, and they should have just been flexible in this situation. Also, this girl, everything She's posting, she seems like the actual sweetest, nicest person on the planet. I mean, anyone...

And she, by the way, she didn't want this to become national news.

Yeah, no, but even she posted, they offered her her job back. She said it would be weird to accept. Too weird. But her whole statement was like, I'm just praying for everyone, praying for the company, praying that changes are enacted. She's just praying.

She's praying. Of course, they started a GoFundMe for her, I believe, because obviously now she's a new mom without a job.

With incredible medical expenses for her new baby.

She'll be okay. I'm sure this is an opportunity for a Frida Baby or some company to make her the CEO or something.

Dreamland Baby, give her a call.

Yes. Somebody needs to give this girl a job. Yeah.

And they will. That starts in six years.

Yeah, right. I do think it'll work itself out. But the story became even bigger because the CEO of Kite Baby When this story just randomly people started hearing about it, it was very organic, very grassroots movement around this, started to get a lot of comments on their social media. She released an apology where she was reading off of a script. That doesn't bother me so much. I think with a lot of people watching, you want to be careful, of course. She had to then release another apology after that because people were so angry that she didn't seem genuine. I just think the whole story feels so backwards to so many people because it's literally a company for babies. It's just weird.

The last Kite Baby order that I... Now that we're just slamming Kite Baby. Yeah, go. I ordered Kite Baby stuff maybe six months ago, and it never shipped. It was It took me two weeks, and it hadn't shipped. They're like, We're moving warehouses. I was like, Can I just... It was almost a month. I was like, Can I cancel my order? So I never even got it. Then I decided to take a chance on them again this time because that's how good the stuff is. I was like, Okay, I'll wait whatever it is with your warehouse. And this happens. It's like every time I...

It feels like you are the...

Catalyst for drama at Kite Baby.

You are the common denominator here.

They can't handle my orders.

They can't handle your kids.

No, it's really crazy. This was a shock to everyone. I think that they'll be okay.

Yeah. This happens, the life cycle of brands. I mean, people are shopping at Balenciaga again. So this is.

I think things will hopefully be okay for Marissa, the employee. She has her go fund me, and she has so much support and love and prayers, and everyone's like, the name on everybody's lips.

She's going to become an influencer.

I hope that things work out for her, too. But she obviously has a lot on her plate right now. I don't think she cares about the...

The internet. She's in the NICU. There are more important things in the world than what's going on in your Instagram.

But it's just been a crazy saga.

It has. It's been crazy the amount of reach the The story has, how far it's gone.

Yeah, surprising. Considering Kite Baby isn't the biggest name in Bay. It's not like Johnson & Johnson.

Right. Pampers. It's like the Johnson & Johnson of the digital age.

Of DTC Digital. Yeah, for sure. Are you ready for our fourth story?

If it's the fourth story that's brought to you by Thrive Market.

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Are you ready for our next story? I am. Southern Charms, Craig Conover and Austin Kroll are set to open a new bar concept in Charleston. Of course. Genius. The Southern Charms boys are bringing new business is a town in the form of a neighborhood tavern fit for friends, fans, and tourists. Later this year, there will be more to Babadoo in Charleston, South Carolina. Babadoo? Carolina.

Babadoo. Did you write that?

No, and I need to thank Entertainment Tonight online for putting that in. That's funny. Because that was really good. Babadoo.

It's easy. It's good easy. Like the birds and the bees and the one, two, three.

So anyways, Entertainment Tonight can exclusively announced that Southern Charms stars Craig and Austin, are bringing a new business to their adopted hometown, partnering with Uptown Hospitality Group on a fresh concept called By the Way.

Wait, is Uptown Hospitality Group, Leva? No, hers is Republic.

I don't think she's Uptown because she's not named in this article. The Neighborhood Tavern is set to open midsummer just around the corner from the company's flagship location, Uptown Social, on the city's famous King Street. This move furthers Craig and Austin's business relationship. The two are already partners in a podcast called Pillows & Bier and investors in New York City Eatery called Carriage House. Craig said, Charleston has grown so much in the last few years and brought in a lot of travelers, so we wanted to create a space where locals and travelers could hang out together and enjoy the neighborhood. Travelers is an interesting word.

Yes, I completely agree. I believe the word Craig was looking for was tourist.

But I think it was a choice not to use it because I feel like tourist is a little offensive. It's derogatory.

Why? Because nobody wants to go to a place where the tourists are. It's true. You avoid tourist.

I go where the travelers go.

I have to say this is pretty brilliant on behalf of Craig and Austin. The show is so big, it's so popular. I do feel like it's done a lot for Charleston. When you think about how the restaurants in West Hollywood for Van de Prump Rules and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, what that did for the lives of the reality stars and their businesses. This is that. I think on a smaller scale, but I think it's really smart. I do wonder what chef makes of all of the dynamics within the friendships of the men changing so much. Now Austin and Craig, for the last couple of years, their podcast is really successful. They went on tour. What he makes of that.

There's a few things. One, I think at one point, Shep is part owner in a bar, or he has his own bar in Charleston. He doesn't talk about it that much on the show, but he does something like this. I don't know what's going on with the bar. But I also think it's interesting that this bar isn't branded as a Southern charm thing. It could have been called Pillows and Bier, and it's not. I was thinking that. What's it called? By the way, BTW. So it has nothing It has to do with the show. It could have been called Bapado.

I guess Tom Tom has to do with the show. Pum has to do with the show.

They all do, typically. But I think it's also smart. That way, if Southern Charm goes away, it doesn't make the bar irrelevant. They can use Southern Charm to prop up the bar, but it's not just a bar for Bravo fans. People might not walk down the street. They might not want to go in there like, Oh, I don't watch that show. That's the bar from the show. But it really can be more inclusive. I'm sure they sat on it for a long time and thought about it and came to this decision as the best decision. I do think it's interesting. But yeah, Austin and Craig, it's also funny because on the show, sometimes they fight like they don't like each other. Like brothers. No, but they'll go through spells where it feels like they're not talking, but they are business partners. I feel like they prioritize their business relationship. No matter what happens in the personal, we will be business partners. I feel like at this point in their lives, they're more business partners than they are of friends at certain points.

Yes, but they're also professional reality stars. Maybe they're able to really compartmentalize what happens on the show as like, That's work, and not being actual personal drama.

I feel like it's the opposite where when they're not filming, they like... Not that they're not friends, but they're not each other's maybe best friends in this world.

That's good, though. I don't think that has to be.

They just get picked right back up when they do their podcast, they're touring. Really, it feels like very good business partners. And then maybe not all the time, like BFFL.

Bff, living together. I think one of my favorite storybook ending, character arc, journeys through all reality TV is how Craig Conover really ended up on top. With Page in his relationship. Professionally, he did become a lawyer. Sowing down south is huge.

It's huge. The tone of the show has changed now that Craig isn't the punching bag. Last season and this season, everybody is struggling with how to treat him, and they like to be like, You've changed since your success. It's like, Oh, shut up. So jealous. You just have to have respect now. You can't get away with- You have to have to take him seriously. Yeah. It's funny watching everyone have to struggle with, Craig isn't the butt of the joke anymore. Joke's on them. I love that. No, I love it. As someone who has always loved Craig and thought that he's been right and mistreated, it's so vindicating. I imagine how Craig feels.

No, Oh, totally. Yeah.

No, but in his relationship, he's winning. Everyone else is a mess. Austin's a mess. Yep. Shep is a mess. Whitney is.

Yeah. No. You just love to see it. It's my favorite thing.

This is just one step further of them becoming really businessmen of Charleston. I'm sure a chef will find a way to knock it, but it's impressive.

I agree. No one's done it on this particular show yet. You said he has a bar, but- Except for Leva.

But Leva is like the Lisa Van der Pum. She already had it. But Leva had it before. But now her bar has a show.

Yes. What's it called? Southern Hospital.

I've not seen it, but it looks good, and it looks like a no-brainer.

It was good. It was good, It's total sense. So so does this, and I hope it does well. Me too. Maybe they'll get a show next.

Yeah, it's giving Tom Tom until it isn't.

Hopefully, it's well run.

Yeah. Tom Tom is well run. Also, it's smart that they're working with a hospitality group. They can lend their faces and stuff, but maybe not have all the pressure, not be like Tom, put all their money into it and refinance their houses. It looks like they're making shrewd business moves, and you love to see it. You do. What is surprising that I was thinking about is the fact that Austin launched Trollop. I think it's still around, but the fact that he found no way to use momentum from the show order to prop the business.

It remains like a local IPA only available in Charleston. Yeah. At two bars.

They could have named the bar Trollop.

Which is honestly, I think Trollop is such a good name.

That's what they could have named if they wanted it to be the Southern Charm Bar, which they don't.

Yes.

Which I think is good positioning. I hope they have success. Our fifth and final story is that Kim Kardashian attended the bat mitzvah this weekend.

I'm obsessed. I saw.

So Kim attended the bat mitzvah of her lifer friend's daughter, and she was posting from the bat mitzvah, which looked- Do we know which lifer friend it was? I couldn't figure it out, but I'm sure others could.

Me neither. So Kim has this group of friends. They call themselves the lifers. They're like, O-G friends from middle school. Obviously, everybody knows Allison, the blonde girl who's always around. She's a lifer. Zoe Winkler, Henry Winkler.

Winkler. Winkler's daughter.

Henry Winkler's daughter is a lifer. It's this group of seven or eight girls, and one of their daughters had a bat mitzvah, and I'm obsessed.

Yeah, Kim was posting some of the activations. What was the girl's name? Violet, I think. Violet, she had a little Starbucks Violet's Starbees. Then she had a little Violet's Skims.

Skims.

It was like a little mall. It was really cute. She also posted a video of Violet doing the Ho-ra. Kim said, I love the Ho-ra. #ilovetheho-ra #motherofthebot mitzvah.

Yes.

Also, I love the Ho-ra.

No, the Ho-ra is such a good... It's such a good energy vibe cultivator.

It makes me sad that people have weddings that don't have Ho-ras because to me, the Ho-ra is my favorite part, and it's so rooted in tradition.

They've been Ho-ra-ing.

For thousands of years in the land of Israel, where the Jews are, the Indigenous people. I agreed. I'm glad that Kim got to experience a good horror. Also, this bat mitzvah girl was so elegant, beautiful, not awkward bat mitzvah energy.

Well, she's from Hidden Hills, and Kim Kardashian's at her bat mitzvah, so she wasn't going to be braced face.

She was It's going to be cute. The way she carried herself, this bat mitzvah.

But also, it's worth noting that bat mitzvah aged girlies today are not what they were in the days of your. Thirteen.

Thirteen is 13.

No, it's not. You don't notice.

No, I know I said people are doing things differently. But biologically- It's evolution.

No, it's evolution.

No, it's not. It's social change. It's not biological change. Mentally, on the outside, they might look different, but on the inside, they're the same.

I don't agree.

Thirteen is 13. Awkward teens are awkward teens. I know they look different, but on the inside, they're going through all the same feelings that you were, La. They're not. What are they feeling?

Well, today, they're feeling depressed and suicidal. They really are. That's true. They're built different. They're experiencing such different childhoods than we were. They're all depressed. It's so negative.

I thought you were saying how 13-year-olds look like 18-year-old Instagram supermodels. Well, that, too.

Well, they do also look different because they have access to more information.

And more makeup, tutorials, hair care. They know what they're doing. Maybe Invisalign.

Invisalign, too. Yes. But this is a huge conversation happening on TikTok right now. It's all about the 10-year-old to go to Sephora. A lot of these Sephora employees are speaking out because the kids are so fucking rude and disgusting. They play with the displays and make it dirty. And they really all go over to the drunk elephant section. The kids today are obsessed with drunk elephant, moisturizer, bronzing drops, et cetera. And then people started to realize if you look at the ingredients in drunk elephant, drunk elephant is It's not made for kids. It's just a brand that's weirdly kids have become obsessed with. And it's like a Livestrong bracelet. If you don't have it, you're not cool. So these kids force their parents to take them to Sephora and force them to go get Drunk Elephant. But if you look at the ingredients, it has retinay in it. It's really for mature skin. It's not for kids. This conversation is like, does Drunk Elephant, is there a responsibility on the brand? Because if you look at it, it really looks like a brand for kids. It's bright colors. It looks like a toy, almost. It's pump, screw.

But it's also called Drunk.

That's not It's not for kids.

Then the other side of the conversation is like, well, one, it's called Drunk. This is obviously not a brand that's ever marketed towards kids. Two, the kids industry doesn't have a monopoly on bright colors. Just because something is colorful doesn't make it for kids. There is this big conversation about, is Drunk Elephant guilty? But you're right. Drunk being in the name, it's obviously not for kids.

You know what that reminds me of? Jules. The kids industry doesn't have a monopoly on fruit.

So true.

Jules, literally, gone, but not forgotten.

But the thing is, there was evidence of marketing towards teens. I don't think there really is evidence of drunk elephant marketing towards kids.

No, I'm sure they're like, How did we end up in this situation? We're just a makeup company.

It's like every 13-year-old.

I'm sure there might be evidence of like, jewel marketing campaign targeting kids, but a lot of the citations were like, It's fruity.

Yes, right, which really isn't an argument. Fruit isn't inherently childish.

Everybody wants fruit. Everybody wants a fruity pebble.

Something. Right. No, it's true. But that's what people are talking about on TikTok, that and kite, baby.

Okay, so now you're in the know.

I just loved this episode, and I want to end it so we can get it out because people deserve to hear this. I agree. It's been a long one, right? Yeah, we're at an hour 20.

Okay, let them go, turdaloo.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Chosen Millennial Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video. Thumb up for also available. It's a podcast. There are podcasts that can be found on Spotify, Central Public Media. Have an amazing Monday. We'll see you tomorrow for Tuesday because that's how it works.

That's how it works. Love you. Bye..