You.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Friday. Congratulations. Congratulations, class of 2004. We did it.

Congrats, grads. We graduated from this week.

Congrats, grads.

We are the graduates of this week.

And might I say, you graduates are looking absolutely gorgeous today.

What week? Number of the year is it? How many weeks in our.

Let me guess, let me guess. 16.

Oh, I was going to say 1011. Let's see. This is important information.

Oh, yeah. Wait, no, how many weeks? It's literally endured. It's literally 1011.

Three.

4512.

Seven, eight, nine. Completion of the twelveth week.

That's pretty major, I would say.

Yeah. I feel like. I feel confident saying this is the only podcast.

Yes.

You're going to know that this was the completion of the twelveth week of the year.

And we're just not doing things other people are doing.

We are constantly setting the bar higher and higher and chasing after it and grinding. We're on our grind now.

Today is Friday. I have, as of this morning, officially completed my final furniture delivery. The couch made its way into my apartment no problem this morning and I'm done. Ty C and B, I love Creighton barrel.

I'm so happy for you. That was pretty quick on the rescheduling front. Yeah. Usually furniture, they're like, we'll see you when we see you.

Yeah. They're like.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

No, you're dumb. I'm smart. I'm old. You're young. And there's nothing you can do.

There's literally nothing.

What are you going to do, pick it up yourself? It's a good question.

You have a truck. Because if you had a truck, you would know what it's like to make your own deliveries.

But you don't.

That's literally them. They literally look at the calendar and they're thorough. A dart. I think we'll just deliver in July.

No, it's so true.

What if we just said fall joggers.

And we're all just sort of at.

The helm at their whims? And my favorite part, my favorite thing that they do is when they're like, sorry, supply chain.

I haven't heard supply chain in a while. Honestly, there was like a three year period where you couldn't even get an ICE cream at McDonald's. Supply chain.

What about. Sorry, stuck at the port.

Oh, I haven't heard that for a while.

Held up at customs. Customs does a random search once a year and they chose us today.

That actually did happen to me with my desk.

That happened to me with my books.

Oh, my book club met last night.

I saw.

You know, the book was bad when you don't even talk about the book. The book was so bad, we couldn't even have, like, a critical conversation because that would require it to have been somewhat thought provoking or interesting. We couldn't even critique. We couldn't even do peaks and pits. I was like, the peak of my book was when it ended, and the pit was when it started. There was literally no structure. The book was a piece of shit. And then we all got into this sort of conspiracy theory about Reese Witherspoon, because the girl who picked it was like, I'm so sorry. And we were like, honestly, we can't even blame you. It was a Reese's choice. When a book has that sort of stamp of approval on it, you're like, all right, it's not going to be the biggest piece of shit in the world.

You would think.

But you guys, and I know art is subjective. This book is not. It was a piece of shit book. And when I posted on my Instagram, everybody was like. I was so shocked, so shocked, so shocked. People were like, oh, my God. No, it's on my list because it's one of those books.

It's an industry plan. After your review, it's an industry plant book.

And so then I was trying to explain to everyone how Reese has sort of monopolized the market on books and movies, and I'm sure she was able to get the rights to this book in terms of making it into a movie or a show. She's going to make it really popular, and then there'll be some sort of demand for it. But at its core, and if you're a. Like, it's not a good book.

It's giving. Reese's Ponzi scheme.

It's giving. Hello, Ponzi.

Hello, Ponzi. Well, this is just a great time, Jackie.

It's giving Ponzi sunshine.

This is a great time to remind you that we don't have a Ponzi scheme going on over at the redheads. Like, maybe if.

That's not what I heard.

Maybe if we could make a buck.

I heard that the redheads is running a Ponzi scheme, and that host is.

On Ozempic on opposite day. Did you hear that on April fools?

On opposite day? What are you, four?

Did you hear that on April fools?

No, I heard it on March 20.

Let me tell you how ready I am for April Fools. Like, every time I see something slightly nefarious. I'm like, is it April fools? Like, I'm on guard.

Oh, wow. She's got her guard up.

We're, like, two weeks out, and I've been on guard. I'll see some crazy headlines. I'm like, april fools. No, but also, all that to say, everyone's being crazy.

Okay. By the way, this is your warning.

Jackie.

Oh. Has reminded us all. Be on alert, because even the people like to get creative. Like, the days leading up to starting their prank, people are getting, like, a little nutty about it. Don't be fooled by the rocks that they got. It's April fools. Yeah, don't be fooled.

So just stay on alert for that. I can't talk about book clubs without saying that. The renaissance of the redheads is well underway.

It's in full effect.

2024, the year of the redheads. You don't want to miss this. That's what I'm going to say. And if you want to be reading pretty quality books, check out the redheads and all. Is that to say Reese's book club needs to hire Dana is what they need to do.

Pitch. Because, by the way, you pitch. I need to fix my camera. So I'm here.

I think I've said this before, but Dana reads so much. She's a really good book critic, and she should have, like, a freelance job at Reese's book clubs, where she reads the manuscripts and chooses good books and gives her recommendation. That would be, like, the perfect job for her. Of course, it would be an inherent contradiction with the redheads, but we could maybe figure something out.

It would be an inherent contradiction with the redheads. But rising tides rise. All shines. And Dana sort of being employed by the world's leading book club while also cultivating a passion of hers, her book club. I think rising tides would rise. All shines.

And that skill set doesn't really apply to the redheads because we all choose a book that none of us have read. So it's not like these are book recommendations. Like, we're all going on a journey together. A June's journey.

Oh, speaking of June's journey is a sponsor today. Thank you so much.

We're all going on a June's journey, and I also can't talk about socialization without.

What's socialization?

Just, like, social things. You were talking about your book club.

Oh, socializing. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what? I had a brain moment. I'm like, what does the word socialization mean?

Just like, the zation of social got it. Without saying that yesterday, I was the most social person on the planet.

I really kind of want to take my headphones off for this. Like, you hanging out with another influencer, like, okay, I'll go. I'll see myself out.

Not only did I go to lunch with another influencer, I also went to dinner last night. I didn't even host.

Did you go with another influencer?

No, I went with some new friends. But I went out for lunch and out for dinner. It was a lot of social battery for your girl.

No. It's actually crazy how you have so many friends now. You didn't even call me yesterday. You're kind of done with me.

No, I know. And I'm so busy, I didn't even post on my Instagram that I went out to dinner.

Did you say no? I know that you're too busy for me. You should have said no.

Dirty.

I'm not.

Well, I'll never, of course, be too busy for my today. But yesterday was just a particular busy day, wherein I also overestimated how much better I was feeling. Because I really wasn't feeling that great. And it was really kind of a struggle to be so social and so unwell.

But that's the thing about getting sick, is that knowing when you're recovered is kind of a skill set that I don't have. Always think I'm better. Next thing you know, I'm in the hospital. Because I thought I was better, and I started to do too much.

I didn't think I was 100% better, but I didn't want to cancel my day, and I wanted to honor my commitments, because, as I said, I had lunch with a fellow influencer yesterday, who's also a toaster. The best kind of influencer.

Factual.

And we just had a great, girly, swirly afternoon. I went to lunch with Mary Orton. She's a fabulous.

This is really disgusting. This is really disgusting. I'm sitting right here. I'm sitting right here. Fabulous influencer. I feel like vomiting.

I'm sorry, attorney. You would have loved it. The only thing that was missing was you, my influencer partner in crime.

Well, thank you. Your iPic.

Influencer.

Partner in crime.

It's so great to have an influencer partner in crime. Some influencers have that and some don't. And I feel that.

Don't I feel that way, as well, actually. A lot of the times, obviously, with you, but with the New York stuff, I also feel that way about Margo. If I'm ever going to something where I have a little bit of like, is this going to be awkward? Margo is, like, nine times out of ten going to be there? It's like, actually not fair.

Yeah, I guess sometimes people bring their assistant or their photographer or they have a plus one, people will extend that plus one arm. I never did that. And then sometimes if I went to an event that you or Margot weren't at and I was solo dolo.

No, but the true good events don't let you bring plus ones.

But sometimes influencers need to bring their photographers to take their picture, because if they're being paid to post from there, you need someone to shoot the content. For me, I don't know why I never thought that far ahead. Because I was always having to ask someone to take a picture of me. I could die. I could seriously die.

But clenching pain, painful.

This is not the industry for me.

It's not. That's why she left down. She left the industry. She said, fuck you, bitches, I'm out.

No, like, sometimes are you ever in a moment where you're so uncomfortable and you just kind of see yourself from up above and it feels like that MTV, like, you're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

You know, people use that phrase all the time. You float out of your body and you're sort of watching yourself? That has literally never happened to me.

Oh, my God. So many times. I'm, like, looking down at myself. I'm like, how did you get into this position?

But how are you getting that aerial view of yourself? I'm being dead serious. Have you a drone? I seriously don't understand.

More of an imagination.

It's an imaginatory moment.

It's an imaginatory moment. Yeah.

That's never happened.

Find yourself in a weird space or just feeling weird, just zoom out on yourself. It's really funny.

That's so funny that you bring that up, because I don't even think I realized I made a conscious decision many years ago. I was not going to make myself vulnerable to being in situations like that. I don't know how or why, but I said, I'm like, I'm not making myself feel uncomfortable or weird. I have not found myself in a genuinely uncomfortable moment in a really long time. I won't let myself get there. I'll just leave.

That's good for self preservation, but those moments are also good for growth.

So true. I'm hearing Phantom Romeo, Quiver.

Honestly, you did right. And it's not the stry guy. He is here in studio today in his chair.

I heard like a mommy. Did you hear this?

I heard something. I'm not going to lie.

So in terms of the show today, we have five stories. Would you be able to describe those five stories in three words for me? My absolute most annoying favorite thing to ask you.

Okay, not in three words. We could play that game another time because I do have a way to describe these stories that I feel like will let everyone know. Maybe I could ask for permission to go outside the bounds of the framework of the show.

Can I give you five words?

Here's the thing about the stories.

What? Oh, you're scaring me.

It's five words.

Oh, great. Five stories. Five words.

So far, there's only four.

That's fine, by the way, because we have Queenie and weenie of the week. We can make that a fifth story. The thing is, we hold ourselves such strict. No one cares if we did seven stories or if we did four. It's Friday. I think it's fine. Unless there's some breaking news, every once.

In a while we accidentally do four. I've never done it intentionally and tried to gaslight people. Like, here's the best five. And then knowing it's only four. And I could so easily do it to you, too, because you're always like, what number is this?

I just kind of exist in this weird timespace continuum when it comes to the story.

And you just trust me that there's five. And I'm being honest and I could have been dishonest today, but I just feel like transparency is why people love this show. We're authentic to a fault.

To a fault. Remember that one time we tried to clickbait?

I will do a quick another see at the stories while you're doing the ads. But if there's only four, I'm not going to torture you with a fifth story from CNBC business that nobody wants.

To hear, CNN.com slash money.

Well, that sounds good. That sounds interesting. Actually, I did see a money story today that for a second I thought was interesting, but I didn't want to talk about it.

Do you want to talk about it right now?

Only because we're talking about CNN.com slash money.

Come on.

Guess what company went public on the stock exchange yesterday?

I love stories like this. Let me think, let me think, let me think. I don't know.

Reddit, yucky now.

Wow. I just wasn't expecting.

And they went under the ticker. Y U c K. No.

I thought that I had seen that their ticker was losers. Oh, yeah.

That's what their alternate trading is under.

Okay, so funny. We had actually went on this rant a couple of weeks ago that if you find yourself on Reddit, you are a mentally ill person and just seek treatment immediately. Pause the podcast. And a lot of people, we got feedback being like, listen, your POV of Reddit is obviously like those awful pages where they write stuff about influencers, but most of the platform is extremely useful. Like if you're into handiwork. And I have actually recently ended up, it's basically replace Yahoo. Answers when you need a question to an answer, like, it's usually on Reddit. Actually, I was having a tech issue with my podcast machine literally on Monday and I found the answer on Reddit. So I hear what people are saying.

But yeah, no, I feel like I'm always asking Google a question and then also take me to someone on Reddit who asked that question about some nonsense. Okay, thanks.

No, and I've actually been thinking a lot about Reddit recently, and you too. But obviously I was making it about me. I am so incredibly famous, it's actually crazy. I think I need full time security. Should I move to LA?

Yeah. Well, then would you be as famous in LA or more famous?

How would that do?

I feel like a lot of influencers or people who are doing their thing and then move to LA, they get kind of lost out there.

I actually completely agree.

And metaphysically.

Yeah. And I feel like everyone in LA has a Reddit.

Yeah. Are you more of a big fish, small pond, small pond.

Don't even finish the question. Big fish, small pond.

But not that New York City is a small pond at all when it.

Comes to podcasting, content creation, not comedy. But yeah, it kind of, well, yeah.

I guess it depends. And we learned that lesson so many times the hard way trying to get guest co hosts, but it's definitely doing better now than it was in terms of influencers in the city.

Yes, there's a small renaissance occurring.

That's a show I want to watch. Influencers in the city, they have tried.

So many times and they always make a decent show.

The influencers want to be on TV. The TV wants people who have followings. Like, why is this so hard?

It's actually hard. And I think it's something that the Housewives franchise faced is that the influencers who want to be on TV are really not people that we're interested in watching. The true, like, I want to see Ariel Charna. She would never.

Okay. She would never. And I feel like we do need to level set our expectations we're not going to get Ariel Charna, but Sarah.

By the way, I would never.

Influencers.

I would never.

Influencers aplenty.

But like who?

I don't know, like Margot's girl of gang. Girl gang show about them.

Put them on the love. Love all of them.

Though Margot wouldn't be on it. She wouldn't want to.

And I don't think that would be successful. I don't. And that's not a knock to those girls, I swear to God. I just don't think it would. Because you're thinking very insularly. I'm thinking, know people with global brands, Ariel Charnos.

But I also think it wouldn't be successful because they have something to protect. They're not going to get their.

Everyone does.

That's the.

You could.

If someone is going on reality TV to become a household name, they're going to do the most.

They have nothing to lose.

They're going to try. Yeah. All they have is to gain. So I think that's the inherent conflict.

Yes. And that's why the true New York socialites, those women who. Ladies who ludge you, will never catch a real one of them on the housewives, ever.

Yeah. Okay, well, except Cindy Barshop, our TV hopes are dash. Except Cindy Barshop, Claudia's all time favorite housewife. Only real toasters will know.

I don't even understand that joke.

Me neither anymore.

I just, like. I feel like Jackie used to say that I loved Cindy Barshop. I never even spoke about her. Jackie was like, claudia's obsessed.

There was a time. Not anymore, because I forgot about this joke. But there was a time whenever we would talk about housewives or past, always, she was your go to. She was your Keenan.

It might have been twice. Like, I seriously never said Uber driver.

And I'll leave it at that.

Yeah, because that's the only, like, you don't have anything else. I never even brought up Cindy Barshop once.

AI is able to search all of our episodes for things that we've spoken about. And I can just put in over for you, Hooker. I can just put in when Claudia spoke about Cindy Bar shop. It's over for you, comma, hooker.

It's over for me. For. Yeah, yeah.

We have to stop AI for that reason alone.

How did we get here?

It's Friday. Congrats, grads. Let's go from the top. June's journey.

Oh, if we could really get. That would be such a fun game.

I actually know how we got here. Shall I say?

No.

Five stories. There's only four. CNN money Reddit influencers. You're so famous. Influencers in the city.

TV Cindy bar shop.

It's not that crazy.

It's kind of just further proving your thesis that all roads lead to Cindy bar shop. Yeah, exactly. And I actually feel like we have a lot of listeners who don't know who Cindy bar shop is.

Cindy bar shop was a one season wonder on the real houses of New York.

I wouldn't even say she was a one season wonder. She was so forgettable.

That's actually.

Except for that she owned a business that did, like, facials and bedazzling on people's vaginal rejuvenation. It was called vajazzling. She had like a vagina bedazzle studio.

Not that Claudia goes home and study Cindy bar shop.

Not that I currently have a vajazzled vagina.

Not that she has an appointment later at bar shops.

No, no.

Like, I'm telling you, there's something here.

Maybe it was her bangs. Like, there definitely was something extreme. Also, her name, something that drew you.

Claudia Oshre to her Cindy bar shop. There is like a. I'm telling you.

The invisible string is. I actually happen to think she has such a fabulous name when you see it written out. And you also verbally like Cindy bar shop. It's kind of like a brilliant name.

So I wasn't wrong all these years.

No, you. You were were. I feel like you actually made me upset. Like now.

Yes, I am a self fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah, you made it. So.

Thanks, powerful woman.

I am now, I feel because we do have the stories. There might be four, there might be five. But we also have Queenie and Weenie of the week, my favorite segment, which is our weekly segment where we sort of bestow an honor upon two people as the queenie and the weenie of the week. Were you being weenie, like, this week? Well, you just might be named Weenie of the week.

Two people, places or things.

Yes.

Mine is a bit more conceptual this week.

I love that one thing about Weenie of the week, it's like, it's truly what you make it. And I do want to start petitioning seriously to have Queenie removed. I had three options for Weenie and I could barely think of one queenie. I just want to say it's really not fun. Now, I know we're trying to negate not to be, like, negative queens felt, like, balanced.

And sometimes I only.

I don't like, like, I actually don't like Queenie of the week. But stand up in the comments. Should it just be weenie of the week. Also, weenie of the week rolls off the tongue so much more like fabulous.

No, I think it's good for, it's good, Claudia. We have to keep the balance.

Okay? Let's just breeze through Queenie later.

Without further ado, here are the fast five, maybe four stories that you need to know.

And the fast five, perhaps four stories that you might need to know are brought to you by fashion pass. You guys know we have been fashion pass girlies for years. In case you don't remember, it's the clothing rental service that actually has cute clothes. So I know what you're going to say, turdy. Why is this rental service different than other rental services? Well, for starters, the shit is cute. It's stuff that you can find like on revolve. It's good brands. It's hot right now. It's not old tunics and grandma moomoos. Sorry. And their plans are very well priced. So fashion pass was started by a toaster and they have the best brands for love and lemons. Love shack, fancy, good American. Show me your moomoo free people. So many more. And they're brands that you have heard of and brands that you'd love. And the plan that we're on is the trendsetter plan where you get four clothing items per order and you can switch them out as often as you want. You don't need to wait for the term to end. If you love something or you don't love it, or let's say it doesn't fit, you're not stuck with it just because that's like your order for the month.

They have you covered for vacation, wedings, bacheloretes, anything bridal. Jackie was wearing a sweater from favorite daughter, which is a very cool brand, by the way. I like the fact that they have it on. Fashion pass is cool. It's like a hot new brand. It's started by Erin and Sarah Foster and it's like kind of hard to get their stuff not on fashion pass. Precise shipping is super fast. They take care of dry cleaning, so you just send them back in the pre labeled bag when you're done and you'll get to choose new items. We have a discount code for you and it's the best discount they currently offer. You're not going to get this anywhere else. If you go to fashionpass.com, use code toast at checkout, you will get $30 off your first month, so you can try it for just 89. That's code toast@fashionpass.com. Today's episode is brought to you by June's journey as Jackie so adequately sort of teased at the beginning of the.

Show, it was a bit of a teaser.

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Our first story, Josh Peck speaks out about quiet on set documentary after being slammed for not publicly supporting Drake Bell. So Josh Beck has posted and spoken. Josh Beck yeah, just roll with it. Yeah, I'm trying to harm.

Good, good.

But he posted a statement to his Instagram saying, quote, I finished the quiet on set documentary and took a few days to process it. I reached out to Drake privately but want to give my support for the survivors who were brave enough to share their stories of emotional and physical abuse on Nickelodeon sets with the world. Children should be protected. Reliving this publicly is incredibly difficult, but I hope it can bring healing for the victims and their families as well as necessary change to our industry.

Yeah, how this documentary ended up being about Josh Peck is so bizarre to me. I know Josh Peck personally did I think he know championing the abuse? No. He's a very good guy and no pun intended. Pun intended. Him being villainized is one of the more bizarre things to come out of this whole saga. And I don't know how we got so lost in our rage, but I need everybody to resharpen their pitchforks and leave Josh alone, and let's tackle the industry. Let's tackle the infrastructure that made abuse like this possible. Let's tackle the industry that is probably still. Well, we'll hear another documentary in ten years about what's going on on some other kids channel right now as we speak. So, like, seriously, people need to get a grip, and we've lost the plot.

We have. People do need to redirect. Yeah. Is it killing you that good guys, is kind of just, like, the center of the drama this week?

No, actually, it's not. But I was talking to Ben. I'm like. I just started looking at him, and I'm like, how the fuck did you become the name on everybody's lips? Quiet on set. And you're right at the center of it. Literally? How?

Literally? How?

But that's so Ben. He doesn't even try, and he finds himself in these precarious.

Ben, literally, like, just at the center of drama. He's like Forrest Gump.

No, Ben was literally on the COVID by accident of the New York Post because, of course, somebody took him to a basketball game, and he sat courtside, and it was like, apparently he stood up at the perfect moment, and it's like, him. And I forget who that's like. He doesn't even try. If it was me, I would know that this was a moment, and I would literally be wanting my stitch. Yeah, I want it too much.

No, he's literally far as Gump. He just finds himself in the middle of these major moments and how.

I don't know all that to say. I thought this was actually a very well written statement.

I thought it was a great statement. It's so obvious to people who have their screwed on straight. Like, yeah, this is tragic. Let's protect the children. Children should be protected. First and foremost. Let's advocate for change in the industry. It's crazy that it even needs to be said, but I can't even imagine what Josh's instagram was looking like.

Right. Well, so what had happened was that the day that everything sort of blew up, Josh had posted a early earlier in the day, which was just like his regular content, using different TikTok sounds and being funny, and it was basically just a sound. If I haven't spoken to you since in the last. Whatever, don't come looking at me. It was whatever. It was. Just like his regular content. But it happened to have gone viral at the time that the Dan Schneider interview came out, and it was just poor timing, and a lot of people thought it was, like, a message to Drake, and it wasn't. I bet you Josh filmed that TikTok a month ago. He's, like, an actual content creator. He has 10 million followers. He's not, like, slobs like us. I'm sure he has, like, a. He probably does run his own social medias, but he's not somebody who just posts something and then record something and then post it. I'm sure this was scheduled. He's a real content creator.

Yeah, but also, it's like, whatever he had posted on that day, people would have taken to mean that he was talking to Drake, and whatever TikTok sound, it was like, even you're one of my elite employees. That would have gone well, either.

It's true. People would have read into whatever it was.

Right. So he cleared up what didn't need clearing up. But hopefully people can fuck off now.

Yeah. No, I refuse to get into the mindset. Like, I can't understand how this became about Josh. And I feel like we always say after we watch a documentary and, like, this one, we're like, how did this happen? And it's like, look, we've now all learned everything, and we're still not mad at the right people.

Right, exactly.

And sorry, I don't say we, because I'm normal.

Yeah, the toasters are normal, too. So we're all just kind of like an echo chamber of normalcy. It's a little frustrating.

It's a little boring, actually. No, for real, it's a little boring. Like always having the right takes and being told we're crazy. I'm so over this culture. We are normal, traditional, good people, and every time we see something, they're like, you guys are so what? What about this? Maybe you're wrong. Yeah, I'm, like, kind of sick of it.

I know, Claude, but the man in the arena, what do they say about him?

What do they say? I actually not. It's not easy being the man in the. But it's easy to be a slob in the stands booing.

It's easy to be a slob in the stands booing.

But, no, the man in the arena. Yeah, that's so me. Who said that?

Theodore Roosevelt. Theo.

That's such a good. Okay, Wait, what's the ripped? Rip to both theos.

Rip to both. Oh, here is the famous quote. It's a long one. But I want everyone.

I'm going to hang on every word.

It is not the critic who counts slay.

I think what he was saying. It's not the slub in the stands.

Who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. Oh, this is such a slay.

It is.

The credit belongs to the man who was actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Jackie, literally giving Reddit.

No, seriously, like, I've recently had like a renaissance about Reddit. Jackie, there are 15,000 people who follow that page. That's 15,000 people who hang on to every word we say, and we are in the arena, dust on our face, letting our mouths.

The man in the arena. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

No man in the arena greater than slobs in the stands.

Well, that's kind of like the thesis of today's episode.

Yeah, it is. I'm glad for this detour.

Me, too. I love that quote.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Switching gears, however pertinent to something that we discussed at the top of the show, one season wonder Anna Marie Wiley has been fired from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after one season. Anna Marie Wiley has been fired from the real houses of Beverly Hills after less than one season. She said on Instagram, I just got word today that I will not be returning to the real houses of Beverly Hills. To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. She emphasized that she never auditioned to be on the show and claimed she was asked to star on it out of the blue. And six weeks after the cast had already started filming, I was thrown into filming two weeks later, mid season. I was very excited about the opportunity and I thought following exactly what I was instructed to do throughout filming last season was the way the game was played. Listening to what I was instructed to do was my rookie mistake. What I am disappointed about is that the fans never got to see me or even a glimpse of my unique life story.

One of my least favorite things is explaining yourself as a loser. It didn't work. There's nothing sadder to me. It's like it's giving sore loser. And it's possible, I'm sure a lot of people feel that way at a job that they were fired from anything. I'm really not interested in your explanation or your excuses. Like, you didn't cut it. Yeah, it's just giving sore loser.

It is. It's given bummed. I think she has a lot of regrets about how she behaved this season. I'm glad to know now she was doing what she thought she was supposed to do as, like, a housewife, what producers were telling her, and that wouldn't have been her choices because they were weird choices. But after the reunion, I was ready to start anew with her. Everyone kind of has a crappy first season. You're thrown into the fire. I do think it's a little unfair to bring her in the middle of one season. She did move the storyline a little bit. She didn't do nothing. And then to fire her. I do feel like everyone deserves a sophomore season.

I agree. And if you don't give someone a second chance, you never know what they're truly capable of. And I sometimes feel conflicted because there are some people who are so absolutely fucking insufferable. Peggy Sulhatian, who absolutely have to go after one season. But I would have felt that way after Eileen Davidson's first season, and she turned out to be such a butterfly. And there's actually rumors that she has been contacted by producers to rejoin the cast.

Oh, I do like that. As an aside, I also think if you come on and you know what you're supposed to do and, you know the game, that kind of rings inauthentic too. Like, if you've watched too much of the show. So I think her coming on and kind of shitting the bed is very genuine, and I would have not been opposed to seeing more of her next season. She also talks about what she had wanted to show in her life. She said, what I am is a woman, a proud black woman who is truly blessed with a wonderful, strong black man as my husband, who lifts me and our four wonderful children up with so much love and positivity on the daily. It was an important mission of mine for the next season to show a solid black family unit and that true black love exists even in Beverly Hills. Also my struggle with losing my mother to lung cancer within weeks of taping and my struggle with adoption trauma and what was going to be and still will be a new life journey for me to find my biological parents. All of which was taped, which was never shown.

The last part I'm good on. Yeah.

No, it sounds like what she was willing to share was something I might find interesting with somebody I've seen for ten seasons. Like to come on so strong with such a personal storyline that doesn't involve drama or the other women. While admirable and a beautiful story personally, it's going to be a no from me on finding your bylaw. It's giving Melissa Gorga having her sister.

That was like a fan.

She had been on TV for ten years at that point and we still didn't care.

Yeah. Or Ashley Darby went and found someone at one point. Maybe it was her dad or something.

Yeah. Don't care.

No. It's one of my least favorite tropes.

I completely agree.

So yeah, this is sad for her. I feel bad for her. That just kind of shot the bed.

I feel bad that she was fired and she clearly really wanted to make it work and that's.

And she had more to give and I feel like maybe. I feel like they didn't need to make this decision right now. They could have had around the next season, see how this season panned out. What do they have planned for next season? Who is going to join the cast? True.

She really could have gotten the first couple of episodes a trial and if it didn't work out, she'd just be friend of.

I felt like the reunion was pretty redemptive for her. I wasn't mad anymore about.

Yeah, whatever.

Sauce.

Sauce.

So. Yeah, I also feel like she came on as a friend of Kyle. I don't know how close they actually are, but Kyle should have given her a little bit of. More of a Lego handbook.

Yeah. But also Kyle was dealing. It's like she was brought on as Kyle's friend and Kyle, who should have been her sort of captain, was going through her own shit and literally had absolutely no time to help anyone.

Yeah, it's true.

It's unfortunate timing.

It is. We shall see. Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Lucas Gage apologizes to Shania Twain for wasting her time after she performed at his wedding to Chris Appleton. So Lucas Gage was on watch what happens live talking about his ill fated marriage to Chris Appleton. And he answered questions about the marriage while answering a question about why he answering. While answering. Yeah, he did answer. Very formal. Answer a question about why he and Chris decided to wear fur coats on their big day. He took the time to express some regrets. He said, quote, I want to apologize to Shania Twain for wasting her time. He admitted that wearing the fur coats was a horrible idea. He said, quote, I mean, we're still holding on. You're still the one after three weeks. That was unhinged. That was like, the biggest waste of time. I love you, Shania. I'm really sorry about that. He also apologized to Kim Kardashian, who legally wed them. He said, look, Kim's great. She was really sweet to fly us all out and take care of us and pay for everything. Sorry to Kim and Shania. So sorry.

No, you know, thanks. I actually appreciate the apology. I think we all watched that going down knowing this marriage was going nowhere. It was like the most random quick.

I stand by the fact that I did not know this marriage was going nowhere. I thought this was a really cute couple that seemed well matched.

No, it was literally like a month.

They were together like two months. And then they got married in Vegas and they were divorced after three months or six.

Think. Sorry. All of us except for Jackie, who's on Ozempic, we all knew that.

You really can't be telling people that because then they're going to be like, oh, why isn't it working?

How I'm being villainized? You said you were mad. Nobody was speculating that you were on Ozepic.

No, I speculate, but you're giving comfort. You're my sister so people believe what you have to say about me.

Okay, so you want me to be more speculatory in my language?

Yes, more speculatory, please.

Okay, so everybody except for Jackie O, who's speculatorily on those epic perfect. We knew it was going nowhere. And to see all these resources sort of being wasted, like, Kim just doesn't marry anyone. She doesn't fly anyone. She doesn't contact Shania Twain for anyone. Having Shania twain sing, you're still the one. Probably one of the top ten biggest wedding songs of the last decade. Unfair. And you know what? I appreciate the apology. I feel like my time was.

If you're saying everyone knew this was going nowhere, wouldn't you think that Kim knew too? Like, she's his best friend?

Yeah, but whether or not she knew, he's still going through with it, so she's going to make her friend happy.

Okay. It's just kind of like a funny pop culture thing. Like, no one was harmed in the making of this wedding.

You know what's a funny pop culture thing, Jackie? Tell me what Lucas Gage has acted Lotus. Oh, okay, fine. But, like, I don't know him.

He's the only Lucas Gage I know. I know there's another one, but he's from White Lotus, too.

Okay. I've seen every episode of White Lotus. I could not tell you who Lucas Gage was.

I didn't watch the second season, but in the first season he worked at the hotel as. I don't know what his, like a valet sort. Did he have sex with the guy with the hotelier?

Did he.

And, like, maybe something to do with.

Yeah. Okay, because do you know why he's famous?

White Lotus to me.

No, that's the thing. They always say. White Lotus actor. No, he was in that video that went viral of the Zoom audition where the producer director that he's auditioning for thinks he's on mute, and he says to his partner, God, these apartments are so fucking. Yeah, that was. And that's so when they say, why Lotus? Lucas Gage? They should really say, zoom audition Lucas Gage. Okay. That's how I know him.

Wow. Yeah.

Is that crazy? And he was like, yeah, I know. That's why you got to book me on this role.

Yeah.

And he handled it really well. Remember when we said that we reported on that? Yep. Well, that's Lucas Cage.

The more, you know, fun fact.

You're welcome.

I feel like every time you talk about Lucas Cage, you tell me that, and it's as if it's anew every time. Why? Feels like the first time. Every time I feel that. Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is our fourth and final story, but it's a really good one.

Okay.

It has the power of two stories.

The power of love.

Jack Black says that he's ready for a school rock sequel, but Mike White needs to write in, and he's really busy right now with the white Lotus. It comes back to the White Lotus.

So true.

Jack Black recently told Joe while making the press rounds for kung Fu Panda four that he is more than ready to make a sequel to School of Rock, the 2003 comedy classic that was directed by Richard Linklater and written by Mike White. Jack Black has stayed close with his younger costars over the years, but a movie sequel has never gotten off the ground. School of Rock was adapted into a hit Broadway musical, but perhaps it's time to get the band back together on the big screen. He said, I wish there'd be a school of rock, too. Electric boogaloo.

Of course he said it that way. Here's the thing a lot of people might not realize. Ned Schneebley from that movie was actually the writer of that movie. And he didn't have a lot of crazy success until recently when he wrote White Lotus. And obviously now he's like super rich and famous. Now. I probably am one of the biggest fans of school of rock. Actually, my husband is, but I quote it on a daily basis.

You're a big fan by marriage, yes, by blood.

However, I actually think this is a movie that needs to exist on its own in perpetuity. I don't think a sequel would be good, mostly because the magic of the movie was like all those young kids, like, they're 40 now.

Yeah. I think for a sequel, Jack Black's character is a new principal.

Okay.

One of the kids still teaching at the school. Yeah, he's. Oh, Ned Cheney as Jack. There's two Ned Chenibly's. Which one, the real or the fake? Jack Black.

They're real.

Mike White.

Yeah. Ned Schneebley.

Yeah. But Jack Black also went by Ned Schneebley.

What's his real name in the movie?

Dewey.

Oh, yeah, Dewey Schmidt.

Yeah. So Dewey Schmidt is the principal.

Yeah.

One of the children is now a teacher in the class.

Miranda, how would he be the principal when the movie ended?

He's like arrested.

No, he's not arrested. He started his own music school.

For sure.

It's been 20 years and the music teacher becomes the principal. I feel like the real Ned Steebley would be the principal and Dewey Schmidt would be like the head of the music department. Like, if we want to be realistic. For real. I love the thought of Jack Black being the principal, but we got to be logical.

But sometimes they just make the principal, like the teacher that everybody loves eventually becomes the principal. That's how schools work, right?

I don't think so, but I got it.

Okay. Kenneth from Love is blind is the principal.

I was thinking that too. Of course. No.

Okay, can I say my movie? Say your movie. Dewey is the principal. He went and got his master's. He loved teaching so much he became a teacher. Principal. He also does have a musical bend. One of the children, Miranda Cosgrove, since she is still a working actress and would be great, is the teacher for the class.

Miranda Cosgrove went on to teach at the school.

Yes. Miranda. Couldn't you see that? Okay, then we'll have new students, new musical students. And I guess we do need our new musical teacher.

Okay, now here it is. Ready? Ned Schneebley. Real one is the principal. Jack Black is the head of the music department. Miranda Cosgrove. And some of the other kids from I'm not cool know, some of the other kids are parents at the school, and their kids are the new class. And then Jack Black does have to pass the baton on who is the new substitute who comes in and starts a band. Yeah, there needs a big comedy actor of the moment right now. Who's the young, hot thing? Who's the next Jack Black? He's inimitable. But who is. Is it a woman?

Nah, bro.

Okay. And who, like, sings, too? A lot of comedians, like, weirdly have good voice.

Oh, you know who would be so great?

Me.

Okay. Yeah. But also, who. That girl, Kat Cohen. You know what, Cohen?

She would actually.

Amazing.

She would be better than me. The job of Dewey Schmidt goes to Kat Cohen.

Maybe she.

Events. Events. I want to go to. Oh, my God. She's his daughter. Events. Events. I want to go to events. Invite me to your event.

Your events.

No, you're.

So the movie writes itself.

No, it doesn't. We did. And we'd like credit.

Yeah, we would love it.

And she's just kind of, like. She gives, like, bad teacher energy. She comes in hungover.

Yeah. I love. I think it can be done. It has to be perfection. Otherwise, throw it in the trash. But if the key players are on board and the magic and the genius behind the original movie is there for the second movie, I think it can be done.

I love.

Great. Well, those were our fast four stories.

Oh, wow. Okay. Well, we're not even done, because it's time.

Beanie and Weenie of the week, which.

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You could say that.

One could say. Now, if you watched our Patreon episode where I tried on all of Jackie's clothes, then you would know, like, I'm in the era of I'm not buying disposable crap clothing anymore. Like, I'm investing in less stuff but better quality. And Quince is a great place to get the basics. I have a really great cashmere sweater from them. I have a great pair of black slacks, which I feel like are really good staple items. So I'm slowly buying. I think they're calling it a capsule wardrobe where my pieces are better quality. I'm investing in them more, but I have less things, which I really like. Indulge in affordable luxury and go to quince.com toast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Quince.com toast to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com toast, quince.com toast for free shipping and 365 day returns.

Thank you, Claudia.

Okay, now it is time for our final segment of the week, Queenie and Weenie of the week, where Jackie and I bestow the honor of Queenie of the week and weenie of the week to two different individuals. Someone who displayed Queenie like behavior and somebody who displayed weenie like behavior. Now, as usual, I have three different options for Winnie of the week and Queenie of the week. I was really only able to scrounge up one.

Okay, my queenie of the week is Drake Bell.

Okay.

Coming forward, telling his story, really busting this case wide open, and bringing a really important conversation back into the fore. I think he exemplified Queenie like behavior in that.

I agree. I think he also continued to exemplify Queenie like behavior when he made a video sort of defending his friend Josh when he didn't have know. Everyone's loving Drake, and the Internet has been kind of hard on Drake, and he could have just sat back and just accepted all this sort of love, but he still, even in a time of healing, went out of his way to defend his friend. So I agree with you.

Yeah. Who was yours?

Oprah.

Oh, that's a good one, Oprah.

I feel like I've had so many conversations in the last. When her special came out on Ozempic five days ago, I've had, like, ten different conversations with different people from different sects of my life, and they all watched it. And I just find the way that people have been talking about Ozempic is different since her special. They all watched the special. It was the first time I've seen mainstream media do this overwhelmingly positive piece of reporting on Ozempic, and that wouldn't have been possible without Oprah. And that was my Oprah. My queenie is Oprah.

My weenie. My weenie runner up is Dan Schneider.

I know. Of course, honestly, I was going to choose somebody from the documentary, but Weenie is like, so we're always, like, poking fun. It's not that serious. And I didn't think that giving someone Brian peck that I thought it was not enough.

No. Beyond the pale. Yeah, I agree. He was my runner up. Obviously. He exhibited weenie like behavior this week and for the last weeks, for thousands of weeks past. But my overall weenie of my personal week that really ruined my week was your migraine. Was my migraine week ruiner. Like, I've just been so off my game this week. I feel like I had so many days that I didn't get to accomplish. I feel like I've been accomplishing so much and being so productive and it just stopped me dead in my tracks and it wouldn't go away. And it was giving weenie.

I just want to say the overwhelming consensus from our community was that you were just, like, kind of your best self this week. People have really been sort of complimenting you. So the fact that you feel like you haven't been your best self, just know that you have. It's been enough.

Thank you. Well, I always give my best self to the toast, but it was the migraine that stopped me from, like, post toast hours. I would never let it affect the show, but I had to do less every day this week because of the migraine. And I just stepped. I've been getting so much done. Even Redhead's content took a backseat. And it was just unfortunate and really unnecessary and rude and weenie like, well.

Migraine, you are the weenie of the week.

For me. Not for me.

My weenie of the week is a little bit different. My weenie of the week is Dalton Gomez. Because I just think any self respecting man who even has a job accepting 1 million doll hairs from a woman. Are you okay? Now, he's also a weenie because you only got a million. Ariana Grande is worth, what, 240? Like, both ends of this are weenie. Like you didn't get enough. And the fact that you took, oh, vomiting weenie. I now, sir, announce you weenie of the week.

I'm glad that you brought him up because something that I realized that I've just been wanting to mention, but there's never, like, a right time to mention. Just this thought that I had that I noticed is I've been listening to Ariana's album and Casey Musgrave's album, and there's a common theme. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this. But they both talk about the Saturn. Something like Ariana has, like, the Saturn thing and Casey's. When I turn 27, my Saturn change. Like, I guess after 27 years, something happens with Saturn. And they both mention it on their albums. I'd never heard of it before. It's like a 27 year thing. And I guess that's why being 27 is a major change.

So it's a 27 year thing, but it's also, like, a rich person looking for an answer to their problems thing. We all turn 27. We all turn 28, and we don't write songs about it. I don't get into that boo Hickey, Hollywood foreign nonsense. I don't.

Me neither. But I know, like, mercury is in retrograde mercury.

Mercury is.

I know certain astrological tropes, but they're both talking about Saturn. And I thought it was interesting at the same time. I never heard of it before. What's that effect?

Well, no, that's not the Mandela. That's what you think the Mandela effect is. You always say, that ain't the Mandela effect.

There's an effect where all of a sudden you start seeing this thing everywhere. But this isn't even a coincidence because these albums both came out, and they're both talking about motherfucking Saturn.

I don't blame it on any sort of effect. I blame it on celebrities, like, being overly hickey nonsense. Overly into astrology and therapy, honestly.

Okay, well, it was just need to. You know what? I need to add it to my list of coincidences. I don't know if you know, but I have one.

I do. The Snow White movies.

Exactly. The snow white movies. Okay, here it is. Yeah. There are so many. What was this? Saturn. Saturn.

Ariana Casey.

This list is years in the making because some of these things won't even make sense anymore. But, like, no strings attached in friends with benefits.

That's a crazy coincidence.

The two fire festival documentaries, literally the same week. Then also at the same time that Harvey Weinstein was going down, there was a hurricane Harvey.

Okay.

At the same time that everything was happening with Stormy Daniels, Kylie named her daughter Stormy.

Her daughter. Yeah, her daughter Trey, and her daughters.

Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.

Okay, that one's, like, not that crazy, but.

Yeah, no, but it's a little crazy. They do the same thing.

They literally do the same thing. Yeah.

And then I also have Tenille. There's two Tenilles at the same time that we never heard of them again.

They were like two country artists who popped off. They each had really popular songs and both their names were Tenille. Tenille arts. And. Yeah.

Tones.

Yeah.

Okay. It's an important list.

I like it. I like it a lot. So I have fabulous dinner plans this evening. I'm going to this new, hot restaurant. Of course, Ben's offer, like, got the rest.

I have fabulous dinner plans, too, but.

I'm a little nervous about going out to dinner. It's my first out meal. Being on Weight Watchers.

Is the Weight Watchers. Does the menu have, like, points on the side? No, you need to go to points friendly restaurants. Cheesecake factory. You're literally the points guy.

Oh, my God. That's funny. I like that. That's funny.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for listening to the testimony morning show. We deal with the fast side story on YouTube. By the way, I feel like people are going to be like, oh, my God, they cut their episode so much today. There were so many edits. If you guys only knew. Jackie's power went out in the middle of this episode.

A lot of things happened that we actually didn't edit any of the content. No. Sometimes we cut, like, to take something out. That's not what happened. These were all different technological issues.

Thank you. So to listen to the toast with the technological issues, the Millennium morning show, we deliver the fastest stories you need to every Monday through Friday. And you, if you're watching studio, please don't forget to give the video a thumbs up. Radio, beautiful setting, and wickedly talented.

We are.

Have an amazing weekend. We love you.

Love you. Bye.