Good morning, millennialss, and welcome back to The Toast, and happy Friday. A great day.

We did it. We made it. And once again, Bruno is in studio. He has decided to come out of retirement and come to work with us. And it's such a joy and such a gift. I know everyone's been loving his presence on the show, even though he did get some hate-filled comments yesterday.

He got hate. Wait, Bruno got hate?

Bruno got hate. And if you could do it to Brew, you could do it to anyone.

You know what? That's actually an amazing segue into something I wanted to tell you about only on the toast. Just remind me in two minutes after you finish your story.

Will do. No, just saying that Bruno is here and after everything that he went through-What were they saying? That he had his booty hole on the chair.

And?

Yes.

I'll pull my pants down and put my booty hole on the chair because that's how influential Bruno is.

They clown on the way that he lays on his mama.

Okay. Well, you know what? I would be shocked that people are giving Bruno hate, but I stumbled called upon actually the most shocking corner of the internet yesterday that I wanted to tell you about on this here show. The fact that you brought this up so organically is meant to be, okay? I'm listening. There was this trend on TikTok in the last week or two. There was this woman, her name is Kat Janis, and she is dying. And she is a single mom, and she wanted to leave something for her son, financial support. And so she released a song, and everything's in his name. So long after she's gone, people stream the song. It'll just be this revenue stream for her son. And it blew up. There's 2 million people made videos using. So it's this whole income person. It was this really beautiful. And it's actually a good song, walk in the room. I saw it all over TikTok. Well, when you thought they were going to give Bruno hate and you found that shocking, the dying woman is being canceled.

Gold tweets.

She follows the IDF on Instagram.

Oh my God.

Jackie, I wish you could see her comments. This person is dying. D-y-i-n-g. Not like, literally dying. She's getting canceled. I just thought I had seen it all. I saw these videos, and it's young women, I'm sorry, it is, making videos of being like, I knew something was off with Kat Janis.

Okay? I'm sick. Sick?

Okay? I had a bad feeling the whole time. That's why I didn't make a video. That's what people say. I didn't make a video using her song. I had a feeling.

Well, now you have to. No, but no. Oh, they said that. Do you think I was just I'm sorry. I thought you were saying you... That's why you didn't participate.

Could you die?

First of all, support Kat Janis. Stream what's the song? What is it called? You know what? I think the whole episode, I'm going to leave the song streaming on my Spotify on B-U.

Kat Janis' song, Dance You Out of My Head. I actually think you'd like the song. We'll make a video after. Isn't that so crazy?

That's insane. People are so dumb.

No, mentally ill.

Well, there's so many things happening here because even if Kat Janis had aird in her life. Prior to this, I think Tabular Asset, the woman's dying. Of course. Now the crime committed is that she follows the most moral army in the world on Instagram. You're dumb.

How crazy is that?

Okay, I'm leaving it on repeat.

Yeah, so stream that song.

It's going to be my number one song of the year.

And totally another like...

Oh my God, she's so cute.

No, she's adorable. She's so cute. And her son is so cute, too.

I love her. Stream Dance You Out of My Head. I love the title. It's It's giving?

It's giving? Yeah. Well, what is it? Come on.. Oh, did we make it a story today that Selena Gomez has a new song? Because we need to predict what it's going to sound like. So if there's a story that can get the boot.

There actually isn't. What I was going to say is today's stories came together in a flash. They're solid as a rock.

I'll just bring it up now. Selena Gomez has a new song, and I believe it's called Love On.

Oh, yeah.

And what do we think that's going to sound like? She has 430 million followers.

No, it's insane.

How does she have more followers than Taylor Swift?

I don't know. Okay, I think it's about turning your love on. Yeah, that's what she said.

Turning it off. The caption is way... She has 200 million more followers than Taylor Swift. That makes no sense to me.

No.

Selena Gomez, as it pertains to Instagram, is giving industry plan.

That's really weird.

It is.

Especially because it's not like her Instagram is bussing. No.

Okay, sorry. It said, Wait till I turn my love on.

That's the Wait till I turn my love on. I think the message is going to be like, It's been off for a while.

Yeah, so the hook, wait till... I think it's going to go like this. Wait till I turn my love on. Honestly, I wish. That sounds so good.

Yeah, and then the intro. It's given like, Stop in the name of love. That was my inspiration. Do you think she'll sample?

Love.

Well, she is dating like an-Wait in the name of love.

Before I turn my love on. I love. She is dating an actually really talented and successful music producer. So hopefully there's influence in that.

I feel like the song came together probably before they started dating, but hopefully he takes a look at it before she presses publish.

Yeah, just a quick revision. I am wearing a different pair of jeans than I wore yesterday, which is just an excuse for me to promote our vlog that people are... People are dying over the vlog.

It's a really good vlog. It came together so organically.

And it has a little bit of everything. It has Mukbang, it has husbands, it has a breakdown in the fitting room. It has a try-on haul. A try on haul. It has poison. We were actually, I don't want to spoil it, but we were poisoned not once, not twice, but thrice yesterday or two days ago. So the vlog is on patreon. Com/toast. It's just a day in the life with Jacks and Claude. We're trying out some new fast food items. We're heading to the mall, we're buying jeans. It's really a perfect afternoon. People are saying, We're getting an unhinged Jacks.

Oh, for sure.

Jacks was being really crazy at Abercrombia Beach.

I was. When there's music playing, there's just no telling what I'm going to do. She's so unpredictable. It's so true. Check it out. It's at petrion. Com/thetoast. I don't want to lead with bad news for people, but I have bad news and then good news.

What?

Which is that there's no show Monday, of course. It's a holiday weekend.

By the way, I think the toaster wouldn't find that bad news. They know how much, how important and how integral bank holidays are to our health. Yeah, our mental health. They wouldn't be upset.

No, I feel like people are always remarking on our positivity, positive mental health. I think a lot of it has to do with federal holidays and long weekends.

We actually are, and I don't think we talk about this, we're extremely neurotypical.

I think about it a lot, but no, we've never had this conversation on the show.

I think maybe, I don't know what the main factor is, but you and I, this is not a mental health podcast. I think most podcasts do end up going that way.

They wade in, too.

Yeah. This is a podcast that is good for your mental health.

Yes, but we do not discuss your mental health.

It's not one of our platforms. We're just neurotypical in that way.

These days, being neurotypical is atypical.

It's true. It's true.

And I feel it's like something that's weird about us now.

I know. It's like we're influencers without mental health.

Don't like, jinks it. Oh, my God, totally. But yeah, no.

I feel like a part of being an influencer is sharing your mental health journey. My journey is really not that interesting. There really isn't one.

Yeah. It's just like, how did the day go? Yeah.

No, I have mood swings, of course. But nothing. We aren't. A lot of influencers are very open about what medications they take. We're not medicated. We're just neurotypical. I love that word.

Yeah, I heard it for the first time.

I know when you're going to say Noah Beck on the Charlie Tamilo Show.

It shocked me to my core that there was such a large word for something just so standard. What was one standard? I can never think of the word. I always have to ask you what it is neurotypical. I'm like, cognitivnormative.

Heteronormative. Cognitivity.

Yeah. Neurotypical.

Yeah. This is the neurotypical podcast. Actually, it really is.

It really is. But maybe I do think that this podcast is good for people's mental health in general, because I think we're, most of the time, extremely positive, and we give off good vibes. But I think that also reflects onto us. I think doing the podcast Every day is good for us to remain neurotypical.

I think that's so true. It's what came first, the neurotypicality or the podcast.

This podcast is a Bowie.

It's true. And this podcast is definitely good.

In a sea of despair.

In a sea of despair. This podcast really is good for your mental health. I think part of it, yes, we're so positive. It's just always good to laugh. It's always good for your brain. But also the routine of it. We're here for you. We are. We are so reliable. It's disgusting.

And I think we're also here for each other.

You know what we do on this podcast all the time? We just talk about ourselves in the third person in such a positive way. God forbid anybody talks about us this way. We would be so flattered. That's all we do. We always just sit back and talk about this podcast at a glance.

No, we always talk about the podcast, what's going on with the podcast.

No, we have these revelations about the podcast.

I think it's important.

It's called being self-aware.

To reflect on where you're at.

A hundred %. To reflect.

And we do this podcast. We do, yeah. In a vacuum.

Oh my God, it's so true.

And So often we just need to pull out. You guys don't understand. Zoom out and be like, Where is the podcast these days?

You guys really don't understand how there's nobody else in this room. It's just us. And it's really scary to do that because I I'm not comfortable. I could just say anything. Then I forgot about the... Actually, Jackie and I were talking about something yesterday. Should we float?

Let's float the idea, but I do think it's not the right idea, not even just because of doubling the work. But I think people would have a hard time keeping up with it. If you start to fall back so much, you might just give up entirely.

Jackie and I were just hypothesizing, just throwing ideas out about things to revolutionize the business.

How we could grow exponentially, double in size.

We're always looking forward. We're What if we just did two podcasts a day? At first we were like, Wait, yes, because double the podcast equals double the revenue. We're not dumb. It would be like a morning and a night, correct? Yeah.

We'd have to bump the morning one up like we would record earlier.

And then the evening couldn't be late at night because then there's no time.

No one will listen to it. People are sleeping. They have to sleep.

It's an imperfect idea. It was a good idea, but it's not right.

No, it's not right. I don't think you guys have enough time to listen to all the episodes. I think that if so many got backlogged, you would get intimidated and be like, I'm not caught up. I miss the jokes.

It's also crazy because it's us in the Daily. We're the most frequent podcasters, and we would be doing more. Anything to beat the Daily.

No, I guess the other option is weekends. No, because actually- No, because we want to stay neurotypical.

We want to stay neurotypical, first of all. And second of all, no, because our Friday episodes are probably our least downloaded episodes. By the time... People We don't need us anymore. We've set them up for success.

We brought you into the weekend.

No one would listen to a Saturday episode, seriously. I know the comments are going to be like, No, I would. No, you wouldn't. I know the numbers. I'm a data analyst. You wouldn't fucking listen.

Some people would, and most people would, but it's just not enough to move the needle. No. We need to maintain our sanity so we could help the sanity of others. No, it's so true.

I forgot. Neurotypicality is my priority these days.

What we could do is do longer episodes.

Could we? No. No. Like, by the time this episode ends, I'm sweating. And I've said what I needed to say. I don't want to just say stuff for the sake of having minutes.

I don't want to harm the quality of the episodes.

I agree. So all I said to say, one of my favorite activities is sitting with you talking about our business in the third person at a glance.

And I think the business in the third person at a glance is holding its own.

And I'm excited because it sounds like we have great stories. We also have Queeny and Weeny of the Week, our weekly segment on Fridays, where we just wrap up the week, look at it at a glance, and give out the prestigious awards of Queeny of the Week and Weenie of the Week. I have mine. Do you have yours?

Not yet, but I will solidify them during the ad break.

I thought of them before bed. So I'm ready, if you are.

Ready as I'll ever be for the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

And the Fast Five stories that You Need to Know are brought to you by McDonald's. So as the tosters know, we are truly, wholeheartedly obsessed with McDonald's. There is truly nothing better than getting home from a long night, having that McDonald's either picked up or waiting for you or delivered, and Just getting out of your girdle and expanding. That's what happens when you get out of your girdle. Just being with the ones you love, sipping on a nice ice cold soda and just eating McDonald's. There's really no bad situation to eat McDonald's, but that is my ideal situation. Also, actually, peak is in your car. When you're so hungry at the drive-through, you cannot get that bag in your hand fast enough. And it's hot. And it's hot, and then your whole car smells. That's also another ideal situation. That's why we're so excited to partner with McDonald's to talk all about their classic burgers, which are hotter, juicier, and tastier than ever before. So much so that the hamburger is on the loose, giving nostalgia. We have nothing but empathy and respect for the hamburger because how could you blame him for trying to get himself the Big Mac that he deserves?

After all, the McDonald's patties are cooked to juicy perfection. The cheese is perfectly melted. We're talking a pillowy soft golden bun and a Big Mac that now has more special sauce in every bite. We stand with the hamburger because these are McDonald's best classic burgers ever. So try the best burgers ever at a McDonald's near you. There's really never a bad time to go to McDonald's to have a burger. I just feel like for the sake of it's a Friday, go treat yourself, eat it in the car. That's probably for a lot of you, only your moment of peace, getting away from your kids. Eat it in the car and enjoy. Today's episode is also brought to you by Say Beauty. I'm so excited about this new sponsor. I'm actually wearing their Sunmelt right now. Say Beauty is an award-winning clean and planet-positive makeup brand sold exclusively at Sephora. They have several award-winning best-selling products, including the best of Allure winner, which is their Slip Tint SPF 35 Tinted Moisturizer, their Do Blush, and their Glowy Super Gel. They refer to themselves as the Clean Complexion Experts because each makeup product is meticulously crafted with sustainability in mind and packed with good for you ingredients.

They leave out over 2,000 ingredients that are deemed potentially harmful to skin. Jackie's very much in her Courtney Kardashian era, and that applies to makeup as well. Say Beauty is one of those brands where it's like, for me at least, it's so great that it's clean. But that's not why I found it. I found it because their products were supreme, and I feel like a lot of people come to it because it's a clean brand and stay because the products are supreme. A lot of people come to it because their products are really always going viral. I love the Super Gel, the Glowy Super Gel. It's what you put on under your makeup to give you a brush-fright, glowy... Brush Fresh, bright, glowy look. Perfect Under Foundation or their Tinted Moisturizer. I also just love their cream bronzer. I'm wearing it today. You can shop Say Beauty at Sephora. It's really giving that perfect no makeup, makeup look, but you don't look like a slob. It still has coverage. I really love all their products. They're really well made. And again, they're clean. You can shop them at Sephora. I love the Slip Tint. That's the SPF Tinted Moisturizer, the Du Blush, and then my favorite is the Glowy Super Gel.

Also, don't sleep on their cream bronzer. And their brushes, they make really, really good brushes. Today's episode is also brought to you by a Jacky O'Favorito.

It's the Taylor Farms. Tarty. How Taylor Farms has changed my life.

We had a Taylor Farms for dinner. Was that two nights ago already? Yeah. Olivia made it. So Taylor Farms and their chopped Salad Kit.

Also, Olivia came to Taylor Farms on her own and then saw our Instagram stories.

Because they sell it at Costco. That's how she figured it out.

I feel like there are a lot of ways in which the toast changes people's lives, changes my life. Taylor Farms actually changed my life. I have to thank the toast, this business, third party. Me too.

At a glance. They deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go. They're a family-owned company on a mission to create healthy lives through fresh, delicious food. Their chopped salad kits are not boring. They have over 30 flavors. What I think sets them apart is a multitude of things. You think salad in a bag, you think brown lettuce, of course. No, Taylor Farms would never. It's so fresh. The lettuce is crispy. All the ingredients are packaged in these little baggies inside the bag. If you want to take something out because you guys know, sometimes I'm in a crew town mood, sometimes I'm not. You can customize it. It's not premixed, which I really, really like, so you can make it. Salad is so personal. But what I think really sets them apart is the fact that their lettuce and all their ingredients are chopped. For me, a salad, I can't eat it if it's not chopped. I want it to be mulch-like. And they get that at Taylor Farms. You can purchase Taylor Farms' chopped Salad Kits wherever you like to shop. It's available in all major grocery stores. I happen to love the Caesar because I'm classic like that in a sheep way.

But they have really good flavors, like the citrus ones. And you can get the Taylor Farms' Chop Salad Kits where you'd like to shop. It's available at all major grocery stores. Thank you. You're welcome.

Speaking of tailored. Speaking of tailored. Oh, I like what you did there. Thank you. Taylor Swift donated $100,000 to the family of the mom killed during the Chief's parade shooting. Taylor Swift donated $100,000 to the family of the woman who was fatally shot during the Chief's Super Bowl parade in Kansas City this week. The singer contributed to the GoFundMe with two installments of $50,000 and wrote, Sending my deepest sympathies and condolences in the wake of your devastating loss with love, Taylor Swift. The fundraiser had been set up to benefit Lisa Lopez Galvin's family. It had a goal of $75,000, but has already raised more than $176,000 with $100,000 of those funds being sent by Taylor.

Now that this is the first time hearing about the GoFundMe, so not only does Taylor giving the money, obviously mean a lot, but the publicity that it brings, I'm sure the GoFundMe right now is already up to way more than that.

Yeah, I'm going to pull it up.

Taylor is a generous queen. She never does it in an annoying or PR type of way. She just put it on her credit card. How do you even pay $50,000 on a GoFundMe? You send a wire?

I think there's options, maybe PayPal.

Or maybe she works with GoFundMe directly.

I feel like no, because she just does it on her computer. Did it on her computer. Anonymous or non-anonymous, want to write a note.

Yeah, this is really sweet. Obviously, the connection to Travis and Kansas City is obvious. But I am curious what the team or the players will do. The sports world is really good about stuff like that. They take care of their own, so I'm just curious what they're going to do. But so sad that the... It It was one person died, correct?

One person died. 22 people were shot. Among the injured were 11 children.

Oh, my God. The woman who passed away, tell me about her.

She was a local radio DJ, I believe. Oh, right. And a mother.

So sad.

So sad. So, so awful.

Yeah. Taylor's a queen. She is. But we expected nothing else.

Yeah.

She also played in Melbourne yesterday. How did that go? It was, I think, the biggest concert. It's Taylor's biggest concert because the venue there holds 96,000 people. I don't know if it's the biggest concert ever. It definitely broke some record, and she announced an alternative. She does this thing where she releases an album, and then she also makes another version of the album available that has one more song and a different cover. It's this weird thing that she does. And so she announced that last night, a new cover, and there's a... What's it called? Bonus track, and it's called The Bolter. And a lot of people are referencing. There's this famous video. Her and Joe were never photographed together ever. The one time they are, I think they're in New York, so they're leaving a facility, and they have to get from the door to the car. There's probably a 12-foot sidewalk that they have to get there, and they bolt. They run. They sprint right into the car. It's this funny moment, but now it's giving the bolter.

Perhaps. But take that video out of the equation. I think someone who just bolted on her. Oh, yeah. In a metaphorical sense.

I feel like it could be some follow-up to The Archer.

I've been the bolter. I've been the bolty.

I don't know. It's just because it's giving the bolter The Archer.

I love The Archer, so I hope it's that if we get more Archer.

But The Archer is a track five, and I feel like if she wanted to make it obvious that these two songs were connected, she would make it a track five. Track five is a big deal in Taylor's universe.

Okay.

All track five songs are really her most heartbreaking ones. Okay.

Give me track five.

I believe Dear John is a- What's track five on Midnight?

Biger than the Whole Sky?

I'll tell you. Good question, Jackie.

Thank you, turdy.

Okay, Midnight. I feel like as a stand, I should know, but I don't actually.

I'm not judging you.

You're on your own, kid.

You always have been? Yeah.

Let me tell you the track five on Speak Now. I'm heartbreaking. Dear John.

Okay.

Wait, maybe then two, three, four, five. Yeah, no, you're on your own kid. Red. I want to say, well, yes.

Wow. 1989?

1989. It is weird. This one feels like it doesn't fit. It's the only one, All you have to do is stay.

But it's about someone leaving her.

No, it's a sad song. I guess there really isn't a crazy sad song on...

1989.

I feel like Clean would have been a track five. Let me tell you what it is on Fearless.

That's a good point. Whitehorse. That's a good point in an album to bring it down.

Evermore track five is Tolerate It.

They're all like emo.

It's so true. And then Folklor, track five is My Tears, Rikishay.

All those songs. I love those two albums. All those songs are the same to me at this point.

I actually don't disagree. In a good way. And I mean it in a good way, too. I think that's a true symbol of a work of art. It's a work of... Yeah. Yeah, but I definitely... What would you say is your favorite Taylor Swift album? I know that's the most basic question.

These days, not to be so basic. Let me think. It's always been- 1989? It's always It's been red, but these days it's 1989 since the Valtracks. I'm having a renaissance with it, and I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's just that good.

My favorite album, of course, comes and goes, but a staple for me is Always. Do you know what I'm going to say?

Fearless? I don't know. I can't- Evermore.

It's so random, but it's the best album. Everybody sleeps on it.

I think it's probably the- Is that the song that has No, peace is on folklore.

Damn. But I'm a fire, and I'll give you a brand of hope. I do feel like pretty much every surprise song that we get now is a repetition. If she hasn't played it, she's not going to play it. She's not going to do anything new, I don't think. But I do feel like now she's at a place in her life where she could play piece.

Yeah, and she could just sing it and be like, Hey, this old song about an old boyfriend that I wrote. It's not heartbreaking anymore because it's been dispelled.

Exactly. So I think while she was in the States, she was avoiding it. I think it was too hard for her. Now, I think maybe she doesn't play it because it's really not a song I think that would sound good live in terms of the music. And I mean, acoustically, excuse me, not live, acoustically. I just want to say I do feel like it's possible.

Yeah, I agree.

Thanks. I love when we agree.

Yeah. It's so uninteresting. It's like, okay, so we agree.

Yeah. Why do we have a podcast? Should we move on? Right. Should we cancel the show?

Are you ready for our next story? Because it's some big news. The Met Gala 2024-Oh my God, yes. Chair, Committee, and Theme has been announced. So Monday, May sixth, Margot Washer's birthday will be the Met Gala, and the co-chairs will be Bad Bunny, Chris Hemsworth, Jennifer Lopez, and Zendaya. So the theme-Oh, yeah. Is the Garden of Time.

I love.

And it will welcome guests to the museum for an exhibition entitled Sleeping Beauties, Reawakening Fashion.

Okay, I just love that. It's giving Disney. It's giving something I can understand. When it was Comme de Garçon, avant-garde, I can visualize this- Garden of time, florals. Right. Florals for spring, ground-breaking. Reawakening of fashion. I could visualize it, and that I appreciate for somebody who is not a fashion person.

Let me just say this. This is the article. They say, The forthcoming show has not to do with the Brothers Grim or Disney.

Rude. I didn't think that it did.

But rather the celebration of clothing and fashion so fragile that it can't ever be worn again and are thus sleeping beauties in the scrupulous archives of the Custom Institute.

Oh, Kim is going to wear a dress made entirely of glass or something.

Or flowers. Yeah.

No, I feel like it's actually- You know what it's giving?

Non-sustainable.

It's giving wasteful.

It's giving waste. I just feel like in a time such as this, yikes, Vogue.

I know. Everyone's just going to take their private jets to this unsustainable event, and it's disgusting.

And wear something they can only wear once.

Now, Liz Wood's pointed this out, which I thought was really interesting. Of course, we tune into the McAlta for the people. We want to know who's going, who's rubbing elbows, this famous person, that famous person. The Kardashians are, of course, a cornerstone of the event. It's like their every single year. And Taylor has been known to show up. Taylor has been on the board. The committee you were just announcing. And this committee feels very apolitical. It feels very neutral, Liz was saying. If Taylor was on the board or if Kim was on the board, then it's their night. Well, Kim would always go, but Taylor would certainly not go if it was Kim's night or if Kendall was on the board. Kendall has been on the board. Now, Bad Bunny is, of course, Kendall's boyfriend, but I think it's still a neutral crew. This does lay the scene Liz was saying for both Taylored/Travis and Kimberly and her family to show up. Now, I don't know how this schedule... Oh, no, we said she She does have time in her tour schedule to make a stop over in New York for the McAllet. It is a lot of travel.

She would have to really want to go, and it doesn't seem like she loves it so much, but she has been on the board, so maybe. I would say, though, Chris Hemsworth, what? Question mark.

Question mark Chris Hemsworth.

Has he ever been?

Does he even understand fashion? He doesn't.

No, and he's going to wear something other than a suit. He's going to be girly swirly.

In a costume? Yeah, no. It's giving out of place.

It is.

Also, I'm so glad you brought this up. I want to talk about the announcement video that the Vogue graphic design team made. They made this video. It was like an Instagram reels to announce who was going to be on the committee and what the theme was. It was giving the most low budget ass graphic design. I was shocked that this was a content ass production. It was like a fake group text, and it's like, Anna texted, Hey, guys, and then it's JLo answers. Then it's, Oh, Chris Hensworth. Oh, I'll be there. So uninspiring, so not creative, so done. I mean, hello, have you seen the artwork for Claudia O'Scher's hit single? 100%. It's literally this design. It's so basic. If I can come up with it, you should be doing better.

Well, they just did major layoffs. So maybe the creative Team. Was laid off. Was laid off. Maybe their ideas person.

Sorry, there's no excuse for Vogue, and this is the biggest thing in the Vogue calendar year. This is what they're known for. Yeah. And I'm sorry, just envisioning Anna texting, I was like, Stop. Stop.

Yeah.

Stop. It was giving loser energy. It was. I hated the graphic. Damn. With a fiery passion.

I thought it was uninspired, but it got the necessary information to me.

I would have really preferred a high-quality video. You have all these celebrities. Jlo has agreed, JLo needs to be... You need to get everyone in the Vogue office. It'd be funny if they were a conference table.

A make a little skiff. Okay, a skiff.

I love a skiff.

Okay. Maybe we'll get a skiff before the event.

No, this was the place for the skiff. This was the opportunity.

It's been ruined. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. Do you want to know more about the theme specifics?

Oh, thank you for asking. No.

Okay, but there's there there.

No, I said I think it's a very good theme. Does it have anything to do with the group chat?

No. Okay. But let me just say, per the Met, we're expected a range of fashion on display, which dates back to a 17th century English Elizabethan era bodice that embodies the beauty of the natural world, its fragility, and its inevitable decay. I don't know about that.

Who do you think Taylor would go with, designer-wise? She low-key has a lot of relationships. Oscar De La Renta did a lot of her tour outfits. She did that Stella McCartney collab.

Maybe she would finally wear a nice-looking outfit.

Who do you think dresses people the best? Who would Who would like for her to go to the Met Gala with?

Designer.

Who do you feel is always killing it? In a dream world, she would do Moschino.

No, but I don't even- She would never. Love the looks unless it's You know- Yeah. Like Versace.

Versace? Yes. Yes. Good answer.

The theme can be broken up into three sub-thèmes. Oh my God.

They take themselves so seriously.

Just listen, land, sea, and sky. That's pretty. But it's also giving color war.

It's definitely even color war, like Gold Galaxy versus Blue Navy. But it is also giving the elements, which I think is a really good for a theme.

I like a sea theme, under the sea.

Yes, yes. The seaweed is always green.

You're telling me it's not Disney?

It's Disney. I always... I do always say, I would just love... By the way, and them partnering with Disney, like Bob Iger having a table is something they would do. They're always giving tables away to meta and TikTok.

Oh, and the TikTok CEO is a co-chair. They slip that into the caption.

That's very interesting. I wonder what TikTokers will go, if Or any. Maybe you. Alex Earle. Well, I am a TikToker. Thank you for calling me that. Alex Earle.

Maybe.

Because there was a time, one year, when YouTube had a big table. That was when Derek Blasberg was head of fashion at YouTube. And they had James Charles, no, not Nikita Dragon, Nikita Tutorials.

I think that was the first year, Emma Chamberlain.

Yeah. And then she's the only one who stuck. Yeah. But she's like, I don't even think of her as in the YouTube bucket anymore. Yeah. So maybe this is the year of the talker.

Yeah.

That would be crazy.

That would be. But I feel like with TikTok, it changes. The landscape changes so quickly. It's so true. It's like, whoever it is right now might not be top of the pile in May. And who might be top of the pile in May is someone who we don't even know yet.

Well, Charlie and Dixie actually have been.

Oh, yeah, they'll go. They'll go. And designers will take them. I'm not worrying about them. Addison goes. No, but I feel like it's someone who's a little more viral. Honestly, if it were today, Pookey would be going. She's all over New York Fashion Week.

Pookey would be going, you're right.

Pookey and Jack, have you seen them everywhere? Of course. And honestly, Pookey looks absolutely fire.

She looks absolutely fire. Do you know who I actually think will go? I just figured it out. If it was happening right now, I don't know, she'll still be having, but she's having a moment.

Is it Kat Janis?

No, it's Nara Smith. Now, let me explain. No, you know her. She went so viral recently, and I'll tell you why you'll think it's funny. Her man, we were just talking about him, Lucky Blue Smith, Yes. Obviously, Lucky Blue Smith's ex-wife, and I think they have a baby together, is the new girl that Joe Jonas is dating, and that's why we were just talking about them. But Nora Smith, she gives Homesteading Trad wife.

She's a Homesteading Trad Wife.

You don't even know. She said She made this video, I think it has 20 million views. She said, Let's make a homemade lasagna. So what do you think homemade lasagna, what do you think? You layer it, and maybe if you're a real homesteader, maybe you'll make your own pasta. First step, she makes her own mozzarella. Jackie was the craziest thing. Everything was homemade. The pasta was homemade.

The sauce, I'm sure, from tomatoes. Of course. She's not a slob.

I do think she did. She didn't slaughter the meat. I think she went to a butcher. But everything she does is homemade. Let's make a brownie and ice cream. Homemade ice cream, homemade brownie from scratch.

I saw her peanut butter and jelly. Then I also saw that her husband took her shopping at the mall. Oh, I didn't see that one. Oh, he took her everywhere, Bottega, Louis Vuitton. She bought everything in sight. She's obviously a material Arial Girl.

I love. I love. Get to a girl who can do both, who can make her own mozzarella, but also loves a Bottega bag.

She was like, She couldn't decide. I'll take them all.

Then she just went to Fashion Week. The husband was paying. I saw she was with Tinks. She's in the fashion world. She's at front row of Tori Birch.

I agree with you. She should be there.

She should be there. And Lucky is a model, so he's in the fashion world. They should be there.

1,000%.

Honestly, and we say this for everything, Vogue really needs to bring us on as consultants. We don't have to go. We don't have to go, but they need our help in deciding who to invite when it comes to the The thing is, it's not like they don't try, and they're like, Our doors are closed to influencers.

They really want to try, and then they're just behind.

While still remaining exclusive. But then they're behind. They stink big time, period. Big time. Period.

Big time. Big time stink. Land, sea, and Sky.

Cute.

Also, The Garden of Time. There's a short story of the same title written by J. G. Ballard in 1962. Where do they find this shit? No, I don't know. The story tells of a Count Axel and his wife, the Countess. She should be there.

Has a housewife ever been to the Met Gala after being a housewife? I think probably in her heyday, Kelly Benzemaun went. Yeah, like Denise Richards. Yeah. Post housewife. Like Lisa Rinna? She's very in fashion. She goes to a lot of fashion. She goes to Milan, her daughter's.

I want to say no.

I want to say no as well. I feel like there was a year, there was a time, maybe one or two years, where Erica Jane could have gotten the invite because she did I feel like work with Vogue before Tom's Scandal, after maybe her second or third season, she was really, really high fashion. Yeah. That, I feel like, would have been the only opportunity. Oh, you know what, actually? It's a loophole, but I feel like this year, Jenna Lyons could go. But she's literally not a housewife. It's a loophole. It doesn't count. Okay.

Okay. You don't want to know any more about the theme because they're giving us a lot of references here. Sorry.

I mean, if you wouldn't have been invited before Housewives.

And you're I'm excited because you're a housewife. Exactly. Yes. Agree.

But you're right. It's New York's finest night. Ramona Singer should be there and Luanne. They should be there.

You should be here. Literally. Standing with your arm around me here.

You should be here. Went through the door with that, when me, I'm right here, smile. We think of two different songs when we say you should be here.

I think of Cole Swindell.

I think I'm singing Begin Again by Taylor Swift.

Are you ready for our next story?

You would have been so happy. Yeah, I am.

The Man of the Week, he's doing a lot of press because of the Invictus Games, but Prince Harry was on GMA talking about King Charles's diagnosis and other things. Oh, I missed this whole thing. Prince Harry is speaking out about his father, King Charles, father, asterisk.

His alleged father.

For the first time since the monarch...

His dad.

Since the monarch announced his cancer diagnosis and the Duke of Sussex flew to the UK to be by his side. Harry, who's in Canada for the Invictus Games in Vancouver.

Jackie, what What is the Invictus Games?

It's like games for injured veterans. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. I think it's his shindig because he's always the one.

I've only heard of it when him and Megan are doing stuff.

They're there now. It's in Whistler.

Okay, we stand.

He's doing Yes. That's why I think he's been top of mind recently. He gave an interview when asked about how he first learned about his father's diagnosis, he said, I spoke to him. I jumped on a plane and went to see him as soon as I could. I feel like that's not really directly answering whether or not he heard it the news. But that's... Because I'm sure you did speak to him after you heard it on the news.

No. Also, I feel like once the public found out, the family had known for, I want to say, weeks because it takes a while to make that decision.

You think so because they started like the way. Maybe I'm just...

You need time to process. Okay, fine. Days. Days. The fact that Harry got on the plane. When we knew. The moment after we knew. Family would know at least one day early That's true, turdy Lou. So I find it questionable that he was on the plane. I'm telling you, William found out, I think it's really conservative to say one week ago. Before releasing a statement, I think Prince Charles sat with the news for a few days. You don't think that's crazy? No, I think- Or you think he went to the doctor, came home, and told his publicist to release a statement? No, you're right. No way.

No, you're right. You're right. Days.

Days.

Conservatively. Days of rumination. But Harry only went when we knew.

It's giving out of the loop.

Are you out of the loop yet? Are you out of the loop yet? Are you out of the loop yet? Are you out of the loop?

You are. Here's the- Maybe that's because your father is actually perfectly healthy. James Hewitt. Maybe that's why. Maybe because you're real. No, I really need to stop. And by the way, everybody gave their thoughts on that conspiracy theory in the comments yesterday, and it has been widely dispelled. It's really not true. But for the sake of my mental health, it's funny, and I'm going to keep saying it.

It's keeping you neurotypical?

It's keeping me neurotypical.

This is what Harry said. Let's get to the meat. Look, I love my family. The fact that I was able to get on a plane and go see him and spend any time with him, I'm grateful for that. When asked about his outlook on the state of his father's health, he said, That stays between me and him. As for whether the diagnosis could have a reunifying effect on the royal family, Harry said, Absolutely, yeah, I'm sure. Throughout all these families, I see it on a day-to-day basis, bringing it back to Invictus Games. The strength of the family unit coming together. When asked about being physically far from his father during this time, he said, I have my own family as we all do. My family and my life in California is as it is. I've got other trips planned that would take me through the UK or back to the UK, so I'll stop in and see my family as much as I can.

Wait, him answering the question, do you feel like his diagnosis will have some reunification effect? Is him admitting We're not unified.

I feel like you could make that case for him and William. They're making it seem like he's good with Charles, whatever.

And the documentary, it was a lot about William, too.

We all know he's not speaking to William. He didn't see William when he was there. So I feel like this could have been reunifying for the family at large, not necessarily him and Charles.

After watching the Crown, I feel like Charles and William were never on the same page. Which?

Charles and William or Charles and Harry?

Excuse me, William and Harry.

William.

Well, that's- As brothers. Maybe I'm just seeing things through the lens of the Crown, but they were never this unit, this band of brothers.

I feel like they were, but But then also, I think I got this vibe from their documentary, too, which is a better place to go for information, that they were super tight, but then they processed and gried differently in the wake of Diana's death. I think William took that moment to become more in the royal family and just assume his role more, and Harry just struggled with it more, and that drove them apart. Yeah, that's interesting. But I do think that they used to be the two of them and Kate. They used to do everything together.

Yeah.

They were really like a threesome. I don't think there was really discord between the two of them up until recent years. Yeah. There was never tabloid headlines like William and Harry turned on each other. It's true. It's actually really sad. I feel like they've always been different, but they're for each other. Now, they're not there for each other, and they're incredibly different.

Jex, we can never be like them.

Oh, my gosh, Tarty, don't even say it. No, we can never. Don't even say it. The podcast. The podcast. You would think for them like the monarchy.

Right. But none of the podcast is more important than the monarchy.

Like, centuries old tradition. But no.

But no.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number is it?

It's number three. I feel as though you're ready.

No, it's not. It is. It's number 4. It's 4. Okay.

But I'm still. Oh, it's four. You're right. You're right.

But you're still ready. Yeah, no, I'm still ready.

Amy Schumer responds to speculation about her, quote, puffy your face and shares a health update. Amy Schumer has been doing a lot of press for her new show, Life and Beth, on Hulu news season, February 16th, and she went on Jimmy Kimmel/Valen, The Tonight Show.

That's Valen. Okay, same thing.

And GMA, and people took away from it that her face looks different.

Yeah. I had seen a lot of the discourse about her face, and I was shocked that we weren't talking like this about someone. And this was coming, and I saw it on Twitter from these verified accounts who had their pronouns. These are people who are proper and who have their pronouns, and they're like, What is going on with Amy Schumer's face? And I find it really interesting that Amy Schumer has become in the last three months a punchable celebrity. And it's because she's spoken out for Israel in support of Israel. And she is like, You have to read her comments. I've been leaving comments on all her social media. I feel bad. People have just inundated her comments with really disgusting, heinous, calling her a genocide supporter, then just making fun of the way that she looks. And it's become acceptable to say things that are unacceptable, only about Amy Schumer now in the last couple of months. I was shocked at the level of the discourse around her face. She took to social media to respond and explain why her face looks different. Yeah.

She said, Stream Life and Beth, whatever, but then also said, I've enjoyed feedback and deliberation about my appearance as all women do for almost 20 years. You're right, it is puffier than normal right now. I have endometriosis and autoimmune disease that every woman should read about. There are some medical and hormonal things going on in my world right now, but I'm okay. Historically, women's bodies have barely been studied medically compared to men. The book All In Her Head does a good job explaining this. I also believe a woman doesn't need any excuse for her physical appearance and owes no explanation. But I wanted to take the opportunity to advocate for self-love and acceptance of the skin you're in. Like every other woman person, some days I feel confident and good as hell, and others I want to put a bag over my head. But I feel strong and beautiful and so proud of this TV show I created, wrote, started, and directed. Maybe just maybe we can focus on that for a little.

I actually plan on watching the show. I haven't watched yet, but I've heard it's very good. I wanted to choose this story because I wanted to make it extremely clear what's going on with Amy Schumer. Why Amy Schumer has become this social media punching bag, and it's become okay to make fun of Amy Schumer when it comes to her career, her looks, her family, whatever. It's only because she came out in support of Israel. She's probably the most famous person to have done it. We don't have a lot of cool celebrities on our side, so we're all clinging to Amy Schumer. Yeah. Make no mistake, that's what's going on. Go read her comments, and maybe leave a comment, then she looks pretty. People are so mean.

People are so mean, but after you told me about this Kat Janis thing- Kat Janis. It's really shocking. It's so not surprising. It's sick. These are bad people.

Bad people. Seriously. Bad people.

Bad people. Love Amy Schumer, Stream Life and Death.

No, Beth. Stream Life and Death. Life and Death is another show. It's that one with Elizabeth Olson.

No, that No, it's different.No, Love and Death. Love and Death. But also, Life and Beth is a take on Life and Death.Yes.

Very good, Jackie.

Because this show is about death.

Yeah, it starts with, I think, Amy's character loses someone, and then it's the journey of grief. Yeah. No, I've recently just started to love Amy Schumer.

It's on Hulu, and it's amazing.

No, and Amy Schumer is fabulous, and I just love her.

She's so funny. If she wrote it and directed it, then it's good.

Then it's good. It's got the Amy Schumer stamp of approval.

I know what I'm doing this weekend.

I actually did want to watch it.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? I am not. She's not.

Is it the fifth and final story that's brought to you by Hero Bread?

Yes, it is. I got a fridge full of Hero Bread right now.

I have had a fridge full of Hero Bread because it's a big good guy sponsor. And Ben was like, You have to try this spread. Hero Bread is over part. And one thing about me is I like bread. Do you know what I mean? I'm not looking for alternatives. And I was very against it. I'm not going to lie. Let me tell you, Ben made me a peanut butter and jelly on Hero Bread. I'm like, It's so good. It really is. The fear of carbs is real. Carb-heavy foods are often the ones that we love most, and that includes bread. Hero bread is zero to one grams of net carbs, zero sugar, and high in fiber bread. It is delicious and flavorful. I would not say that if I didn't believe it. I have had many sandwiches now on Hero Bread. It's just an easy swap. It doesn't make your life more difficult, and it does not taste bad. It really doesn't. It's soft and fluffy, and that's what we love about regular bread. But this is a little bit better for you. Actually, it's a lot better for you. It's something for every craving.

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I'm not afraid to tell anyone who will listen.

Love that. You need a hero? I need a hero.

Bread. This episode is also brought to you by Macy's. It's that time of year where we're just buying gifts for ourselves for the ones that we love. And Macy's is making it really, really easy to find the best gifts. So when you go to macys. Com/giftfinder, you can find 25 to 40% off underwear, linger, brands like Calvin Klein, Gap, and more. Some exclusions do apply. And what's so great is that it's Black History Month, and Macy's is committed to empowering the next generation to create a brighter future for all. And that's why Macy's is supporting UNCF, an organization that funds scholarships for students at historically black colleges and universities now through February 29th. To help Macy's and UNCF continue their impact by rounding up your purchase in store or donating online, you can get excited to give back and learn more at macy's. Com/purpose. Also, Macy's is a fabulous store, head to toe, whatever you need. You can go in needing things for your home, for your man, for your child, for yourself, and leave with absolutely everything you need. It's just one of those fabulous department stores. They also have a great beauty department.

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I'm excited, too, to be partnering with them. You are? Yeah, I am.

Jackie's excited, you guys.

It takes a lot to excite me. It does.

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Make hast.

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Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Morgan Wallen is opening a honky-tonk off of Broadway called This Bar Because He Found Himself In This Bar.

So he's like the new wave. If you go to Nashville, a part of being a country singer, I feel like people don't know the country star economy.

This This is a new element in the last 10 years.

You hit a benchmark at a certain level, and then you open your own bar in downtown Broadway. Right now, Jason Aldean is really popular. Miranda Lambritz is really popular.

Blake Shelton.

Blake Shelton. Florida George Line. I wonder what happened to their bar.

Fgl House?

Yeah. Why? Because they broke up as a band.

They're on hiatus.

They didn't break up. No, they broke up. No, they're fine. I feel like there was a lot of rumors, actually, about they hate each other and their wives hate each other, too. They're broken up. I feel like they didn't even lie until us. It was a hiatus, like Little Mix did. They're broken It's not.

Keep their name out your mouth.

No, One Direction lied to us, said they were going on hiatus.

Fgl House is open. Fgl House, this is how we eat.

I just feel like that's interesting.

It's open at 11:00 AM today if you want to go get something to eat.

There's a lot of new big country stars, and a couple of them, Luke Holmes announced a little while ago, he's opening his own bar. Old Dominion's opening their own bar. It's called... Memory Lane, I think. No. No, wait, what's it called? I feel like I made that up. Google. It's really interesting how they come up with their names. I really like it.

I know. And there's so much fadder within their song, so that would be a good job for me. Creative, yeah. If I went to get a 9 to 5, helping...

Being like a consultant for country bars.

Yeah. Branding. Yeah, but also helping them name their bar. Yeah. Just that part.

Morgan Wands being called This Bar is actually great.

I love it.

I love it. I mean, that's also his biggest song. Is it? This Bar is up there with whiskey glasses. It's definitely top five.

And Last Night. That would be a good name for a bar, too.

Honestly- No, this bar is perfect.

It is. But Last Night would be good. Old Dominions will be called Odies. No, it won't.

I literally saw a video- Old Dominions, Odie's.

Really? Yeah.

I don't like that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I remember seeing the video. Oh, you're right. Odies.

Old Dominions isn't Memerily Lane?

Yes, they are. Is that Brothers? No, it's not Brothers. It's not the Brothers? Okay. No, that's their song. Then Luke Holmes's bar is called what? She can't type fast enough on her iPad.

No, I literally can't.

He announced it a while ago. I'm just looking on his Instagram. Honestly, no, that's a bad name. I'm trying to think. If I was Lou Komes' branding manager, what would I have named it?

Category 10.

Oh, Hurricane.

Oh.

Like a Category 10, Hurricane. It's a little too smart. I don't like it, actually.

I need something dumb down.

Yeah, no. I feel like one too many.

Oh, that's good. But it promotes overconsumption.

Okay, so does Nashville in general. It's fine.

But I would need a minute to do my job.

To think, yeah. When you think of his biggest song It's Hurricane One number away.

Beautiful Crazy When It Rains It Pours. But there are so... It's more of the lyrics. It's more of the lyrics. Yeah. I can find something.

The Bier Never Broke My Heart in One Too Many or his biggest song's About Drinking. So if you just listen to those lyrics, you could find something. Yeah. I don't like Odie's at all.

I'm so sorry to rain on your parade.

It's okay.

About Odie's. Anyways, Morgan Waller's opening- Dierks Bentley's is really popular.

He's a foolproof business plan as a country star. I think for a lot of them, it's a huge moneymaker for them.

Yeah. And then I think some of them that have done really well in Nashville are going to Vegas.

Oh, love that. Brilliant. Yeah.

His concept will be a six-story venue called This Bar in Tennessee Kitchen.

They love vertical builds in Nashville. The bars, the stairs, you could vomit. Every floor is a different vibe. There's a country floor, and then a R&B floor, and a DJ floor. Yeah.

So this bar called This Bar It will reportedly incorporate pivotal elements that shaped his life, with each level showcasing photos and memorabilia from his childhood, as well as some of his most notable performances to date. Also, the food will be inspired by his favorite family favorites.

Okay, so we're opening a bar.

That was my-Let's play. That's where I was going.

We're opening a bar. First of all, where are we opening it?

I feel like it would have to be New York City, but I wouldn't want it to be because it's just the economy is tanking there. No, I know.

Okay, but this is hypothetical, so don't bring your negative energy.

Okay. Don't bring the facts.

The facts, yeah. Okay, how many floors?

Wait, what neighborhood of New York City?

Oh, it has to be somewhere fabulous. We want to be with the people. We got to be in like- Big downtown. Yeah. Where did we have amazing... Honestly, it needs to be the meatpacking district.

That's where we used to party. That's our old stomping grounds, or it could be the NYU area because we were always down there when you guys went to school there, but also we used to work down there.

We did used to work down there. We did use to work down there.

That used to be our spot.

No, our spot was at Apartment U, and Olivia had at 777.

Yeah, that's Chelsea.

Chelsea. So somewhere in that vicinity.

Yeah, somewhere between Meathpack and Chelsea, Esther Place. We'll see what the rents are going for. Yeah, and like- Maybe Flat Iron actually is a great place to have a bar.

Are we doing a one-floor bar? Are we going to dream it up like Nashville style?

Let's dream it up Nashville style.

But I don't think we need more than three floors.

Okay, but I think we could have four floors, and every floor is a different sister.

Love. But I feel as though all of our floors would end up being the same. Because I would want my floor to be like live music, honky-tonk vibes.

I'd want my floor to be pink.

Pink the singer or pink the color?

Both.

Okay, love.

And black pink in there, too. Anything to do with pink.

Margot's floor would be probably similar to mine.

Yeah.

Olivia's would be like a jazz bar. Actually, wait, I love this idea.

I don't know if it would be a jazz No, Olivia's would be like a very like Martini's Frank Sinatra.

It would be like the bar at the Carlyal, like very high class. Okay, wait, I love this idea.

I feel like we could have an original concept for each floor, and then we could build it out to be just more unique than every other floor. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, and I do think we would have to go in birth order, and Olivia's being on the ground level is perfect. It's very New York swanky piano bar lounge.

Then I think mine being next would just be a complete about face.

Oh, and by the way, with each floor, you have to start the night because that's really how it is with us. One drink, two drink, three drink, four. By the time you get to Margot's, you're blocked out. Classic. And you're just starting out with Olivia's.

We don't even have to spend that much on the cour, no one will notice it. No, no, no.

But then food. We need to talk about food.

Okay. Should it be per floor or just in general? Per floor.

My floor is going to be a mini food cour where you can go to different stations.

Like chicken nuggets, friend's fries.

We're going to have a mini McDonald's. And by the budget, it goes without saying in this hypothetical situation, is not existent.

Is the budget in the room with us?

Exactly. The menu will feature top five, six items from some of my favorite fast food chains. That will include beverages from Sonic, and you can make cocktails with the Sonic beverages. Mcdonald's, Water burger. It'll come in the packaging. It'll be really authentic.

I love that. The whole facility is kosher, by the way.

So we don't serve bacon.

Okay, but can we serve also dairy and meat on separate floors?

We have two separate kitchens.

Okay, but each floor- It's a completely kosher, and it's hypothetical.

It's kosher style. All the meat is kosher. Yeah. Okay, and it's cooked kosher style.

I think on Olivia's floor, well, she would be in charge of the food and she would love that. She loves crudités.

Can we open a bar, by the way? I'm so down.

No, this idea is amazing. But we need a group behind us. All of these Morgan Wallens and Luke Holmes, they work with-Hospitality groups. Hospitality groups. So they're just really the face and the creative and the inspiration, which is what we would be, but we can't be putting up the phone.

No, no. If the hospitality group wants to work with us, I would open a bar.

I would look at our numbers for real. And wherever we are biggest in the country, that's where we should open the bar.

Well, that would be... We're huge in Toronto, but I don't want to open a bar in Toronto. I know. That would be like New York, but it's also the worst place to do business. Yeah. And I don't really want... Well, I mean, I live in New York. I would love to own a bar.

I feel like we should open it on Nashville.

I'm so down.

Or Vegas. No. Nashville. Oh, yeah. Vegas wasn't good.

Yeah. Nashville. Nashville.

Love it. Something to think about. So then my floor would Because it's a pink floor, I just feel like I can't have chili, which is what I want to have.

No, also you can't serve chili at a bar.

I'm sorry. I think it would be more like confectionery candy ice cream.

Like pastry chef energy. Love. Sweet.

Sweet.

Yeah, your floor is like the sweet treat floor.

Yeah, because you've just had your meal at Olivia's. You have to think about it. You've had your meal at Olivia's.

You're having a full entree, like a fish, a salad, really a culinary experience at Olivia's. Yeah. Then you go up for dessert.

To my place.

Then at my place, you start getting- It's like a late night bite. You get wasted, and then you have late night bites. And honestly, I feel like we shouldn't serve food at Margot's.

No, no.

Like, just shots, like Jell-O shots. Oh, edible alcohol. You know they have ice cream with alcohol, popsicles.

Yeah, since it's places is the after-party. If you make it there, not everyone's going to make it there.

Okay, maybe you take the food from mine. You party at mine, and then right before leaving, you get all the fast food and bring it up to Margot's place for the hang. Love. Oh, and what are we calling it? Steen's place?

Something like that.

Yeah. Drop in the comments. What should we name our bar? Oh, We're not done yet. It's Queeny and Weenie of the Week. True that. Our weekly segment where Jackie and I bestow the honor to two different people groups. It can be a person, place, or a thing. It's really not that rigid. Who acted like a queen this week and who acted like a weeny this week? Let's start- With Queeny. With Queeny. Okay.

My queeny is Bruno. So is mine. Oh my God.

He's been through so much.

And he's defied the odds. And he came on the show every day this week, even when he was under the weather.

It's so true. And he never faltered in his- In his queeniness. Bruno was mine, too.

Oh my God, Brew.

We're proud of you, and we're so glad you're here.

Also, Bruno is sitting on the other chair in the room right now where I do my remote filming, just looking at us being a star and an angel and mommy's love, mommy's king.

Now, my favorite part of this segment, The Weenie, The Weenie of the Week. Wait, I literally already forgot mine. The Weenie of the Week for me was the husband from The Deer Toaster's update. I have not stopped thinking about him.

I was thinking that, too.

It's the craziest thing. Somebody left a comment that actually I really like. She was like, You need to take the condom wrap and leave it on the dining room table in plain sight. Then when he comes home, he'll see it and just see what he does.

I love that.

I have not stopped thinking about it. It's bothering me so much. Actually, I had meant to check the Deer Toaster's email to see if she wrote us back already, even though it's only been one day, and I doubt she has.

Yes, she's going through stuff.

She's probably on that vacation right now.

No, she's probably leaving right today.

Valentine's Day trip. I hope she listened to the episode.

Packing the divorce papers.

That's my Weaning of the Week. I wish I knew his name. I'm sure she listened to the episode. I'm sure she did.

Well, we'll see. My Weaning of the Week was a group of people that I learned about today.

Yeah, by the way, they were my runner up.

Which was the people who are hating on Kat Janis, the dying woman, because she follows the IDF. Agreed. Seriously, you people need I don't know what you need. Help. Help. Education. I don't believe it at that. She hasn't written back to us. Okay, well, that's our show. That is our show. We've got a busy day today, so we got to get to It's our final one of the week.

I wanted to see if she wrote us back. She hasn't yet. I need to hear from her.

We'll follow up.

So that's our show. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast Monday morning show. We deliver the fast-fired... Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, Canadian Girlies.

We couldn't have talked about Canada more in this episode. I know.

Oh my God. I'm like the worst comedian lies. I got a lot of backlash.

You're so not self-promotional. It's the problem. I'm shy.

I got so much backlash from the Canadian Girlies. When the Canadian Girlies, when I released my comedy special, Lean In on Prime Video, the Canadian Girlies were not able to access it because it's low-key, a different country, and there's different rules.

And it's low-key.

Classic. As of yesterday, no, actually the day before yesterday, I keep forgetting to promote it, my special is available on Prime Video Canada. If you've been wanting to watch it and you want to support your girl, I appreciate you and I love you, and you can do that now. The special is called Lean In. You can just search Claudia Ashray. My other special, Disgrace Queen, is also on Prime Video Canada. But Lean In, Claudia Ashray, my second comedy special is available on Prime Video now in the US and Canada. Sorry about that. It took a little longer. Thank you so much for listening to... I feel like because I already started the outro, no one's going to listen.

No, they'll see there's more time. Oh, what did those crazy girls do? We need to waste a little Waste a little bit of time. Waste a little bit of time. Okay, Bruno, let me tell you how I love thee. Shall I count the ways?

Honestly, I'm just going to sit here in silence for 10 more seconds.

No, because then they'll turn it off. We sit in silence.

We have to make it- No, but if they made it here, they already heard my promo.

Oh, okay. I mean us, that we can't think of something to say for 10 seconds. Really, Lauter?

The Beautification Committee is doing such a great job. I love these flowers. Thank you. Oh, somebody also DMed me and told me that there's a Lucy's scorebook where there's a Beautification Committee in this small town, and their job is to match up young people in the town so that everybody gets married.

That's really sweet.

All right, now I feel like we wasted enough time. Thank you so much for listening to the Jocelyn. I wanted to show you to look at the fast-sets. Please subscribe me if it's a video. Thumb up, also available. It's a podcast on your back. It's on your side. It's a public radio. I request for a. Friday. Please subscribe me. This video is also available. We are.

Without further ado, we bid you a do. Love you. Bye.