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February 2, Colombia, South Carolina, February 3, and Knoxville, Tennessee, Go Big Orange, on February 4 at the Knoxville Coliseum, as well as state college PA on February seventh. Syracuse, New York, February eighth, and Amherst, Massachusetts, on February ninth. Get your tickets early starting Wednesday, November 29th at 10:00 AM local time with code Rat King. General on sale starts Friday, December 1, at 10:00 a. M. Local time. All tickets available at theauvon. Com/tauur. Don't buy through secondary sites if the prices are jacked up. Just wait, we'll come on back through town. But looking forward to bringing the tour near you. Thank you for the support. Today's guest has a new comedy special coming out on Netflix on December fifth. He's the pride of Baltimore and one of the most entertaining men, young men in the universe. Today's guest is Mr. Stavros Halkis.

That light on me. I'll sit.

And tell you my stories.

Shine on me.

I'll be.

Find a song. I've been singing.

I knew an Albanian girl. Yes, I remember she got her belly button braided.

I'm sorry. I love it.

We're good. She was the only girl that had Cornrows outside of her belly button.

Oh, yeah. A fierce people. Not saying anything about your wife, my friend, but my producer, Albanian, also. Really? Yeah, eldest my boy. Big, dumb, block-headed Albanian piece of shit.

Because we just referenced, guys, Stavros Halkeos is here today. What's up, Rose? We're going to talk about his new special that's coming out on Netflix. When is it?

December fifth, Fat Rascal.

Next week, bro. Yeah, that's.

Right, dude. Thank you, man.

Thank you. Wow, this is your first one on there.

First one on there, I did my own on YouTube.

And.

Then I've just been putting out a bunch of shit on YouTube and social media and shit. So yeah.

We put it out there. There's something that... Well, two things. First of all, we talked about the producer today, Alex Lagos is in, and he married an Albanian.

Yes, that's right. He did, which sleep with one eye open. That's what I would say. Don't leave any livestock unattended. She might obscond with your goats.

Why is that? Do they just have a hanker and for animal?

Dude, so in Greece, Albanians are like, it borders Greece, right? Okay. So my best friend growing up, Albanian, but the relationship of Albania and Greece is like what you might say like Mexico is to America, where it's like there's a lot of illegal immigrants that will take any job just to be in the country. That shows you how shitty Albania is. Like, Greece's economy is what they want to get.

In on. Greece has been bankrupt for years ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But literally, and my family's from Athens, so it's like, we're fucking high class, dude. We're like, we got the Parthenon right there. But I went to visit. I went to visit. We got it right there. It's right there. You can see it, bro. I went to visit my friend from Baltimore. Our families were in Greece at the same time. And we drove to his Hillbilly ass, hick-like village.

In.

Albania? Right, like Northern Greece, closer to Albania. These motherfuckers still had an outhouse. They had indoor plumbing, but they just had it for the love of the game, just to also shit outside.

There's something about sitting.

Outdoors, but really... You know what I'm saying? It connects you to Mother GEA. Oh, yeah.

Take that government.

I don't need the fucking Department of Sanitation telling me where to shit.

That's one vote for Trump right there, dude. Every time he's.

Shitting me, oh, my God. Absolutely. That's how they're taking the census. They're counting on how many tirds are underneath under people's yards. But we went to his fucking village, and they straight up had this was the year this must have been 2002. They had an Albanian indentured servant. I'm not even kidding. They had this motherfucker that wasn't allowed upstairs. He had his own little fucking basement apartment. And they were like, Yeah, we couldn't. The last Albanian took our shoes, so we couldn't trust him in the fucking main house anymore. And I was like, What the fuck is going on? I'm coming from Baltimore, and I'm like, They have light Albanian slavery in these fucking villages, dude. This was 2000, post 9/11.

It was crazy. And you can vote right now on slavery right now on the YouTube. No, look, man, I think, yeah, the first time you see shoes, that's fucking...

Yeah.

Laces. You're like, Damn, look at these body tires.

I'm just egregious.

So, yeah, I guess, Albanians. And do they have, is there a mental issue with them? I think so.

Really? No, I think that's what they would... This particular guy, I don't remember his name, 100 % had a bit of a mental issue. Oh, yeah. Big smiler, let's say. Oh, yeah. My boy had big smiler. Not the best teeth that did not slow him down for one second. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, dude. No windows, but still cutting the.

Lights on.

Absolutely. That's my joy.

It doesn't skip a beat. They're just hurling insults at him. He's just taking it with a grim and getting some fresh well water for supper. You know what I mean? Yeah. It doesn't bother.

Him at all. A heavy petter, dude. Oh, yeah. Kind of dude that'll just stir a thing of hot soup with his hand. Absolutely.

Those nerves have been dead for years. Those nerves have been dead after multiple raccoon bites. That thumb is dead.

Let's just say hip hop, Herabes, though.

Okay? Yeah. They should study him, dude. How he survived. They should.

Study him. It would take about 40 minutes.

Absolutely. Yeah. If you go, well, it would be there's one extra something. It would take a little longer.

Dude, that extra chromosome, there's also it must have creatine in it because a lot of people that are, a lot of people call them mentals or people that are missing an action but aren't missing.

Sure.

Sure, sure. Those people, the torque that's in them.

Well, yeah, they're literally more they're one extra amount dude. So they are stronger. They're hyper masculine. That's that extra chromosome.

Is.

That true? Absolutely, yeah.

So the extra.

Chromosome-or at least that's one type, one style. Okay. I don't know if it's we're talking downs right now, I believe. I had a friend whose son had the X. And I think the extra X is girls, Y is dudes, I believe. So if you're X-Y-Y, that means you're like a turbo bro. Yeah. Those motherfuckers, hairy, eyebrows, wild, jacked, jacking off fast at a young age.

Like a develo. They can jack off and then catch it on their eyebrows.

Absolutely. We're talking.

Like, yeah. It's like hanging up to Christmas lights. Yeah. Oh, damn.

Look at Randy. An iceicle.

Yeah. Bellzo. Dude, we had, yeah, we had an uncle, he used to masterbate in his sleep, right? I think he had an iron deficiency or something. He said that whenever he stayed there, my mom would make him wear these jingle bells on his wrists.

Ironically, the more they jingle, the little iron probably peeled off, went into his bloodstream. His hand full of iron puts it on his open cock and it gets into his bloodstream. It's a win-win.

Yeah, I think she just wanted to keep things. If he started cleaning himself out, she wanted to keep things culture.

Of course. It's a good safety mechanism, too. But I'm just saying the silver lining, he might up, he might have more energy throughout the day because his higher.

Levels are regulating. Well, I think he was missing some silver lining. Which is the problem at the beginning. But yeah, he was copper heavy dude. You can see some of those dudes. We had a guy in our neighborhood, he had fucking had extra copper in his blood or whatever. He had real heavy eyelids. So when they blinked down, his whole head would go down like that. That's tough. Then he had a C1 cervical issue. He had, I think, some spinal issue because of.

The-sure, the constant heavy blinking. That copper, baby. That's going to take a toll on the neck. Either it's going to get stronger or you're fucked. And he just didn't have it in him. He didn't have that thick neck.

He didn't have that torque in him. But yeah, congratulations, Alex, too. Alex just any knocked up the lady.

We got a half on deck. Alert the fucking maternity ward. He got a fucking baby with some slippery fingers.

He's going to take the.

Other baby's pacifiers out of the fucking….

They hide the fent and all patches. We got an Albanian. Dude, that would be the best cartoon if you ever did a cartoon. It would just be.

Albanian babies. Absolutely. Albanian babies.

Yeah, what do you.

Say, guys? Well, in the Bronx, they're like, that's the mafias. Albainian babies. Well, yeah, babies. I'm sorry. I'm sure there's some tough.

Albanian babies. Yeah, Albanians. There's something about that Russian, you get your child a doll made out of stone.

You.

Get your child.

A 30-pound doll. Yes, absolutely. A real-life Golem. You get them a real Jewish folklore. They're like, look, we're going to have to train against these because they tend to also be anti-Semitic and they think Golems are real. They get their baby.

Are they really anti-Semitism?

Well, I think a lot of the Eastern world is. Really? Well, because you've got to look at Europe. They figure ways to be racist. Like Yugoslavia broke up because Serbia thinks they're different from fucking Croatia or whatever. Right. Right to like, you wouldn't know the fucking difference, right? I barely would.

Or is it that they also respect our individuality more? Is that part of it too? Because are they anti everything? Are they anti.

This? Yes, they definitely think they're the man. Right. They think like each little fucking village, it goes back to like village shit. But it's so funny to be like, you'll see people who will kill grandmothers over this conflict, and then you zoom out and it's like same fucking guy. You know what I mean? There's nothing different. It's like the tracksuits are slightly different colors, you know what I mean? But they're the same type of same dude. But it is funny to have like, everyone has pride. In that part of the world, everybody has pride. Then it's like you can drive... You can drive through the country. You can drive through Greece in eight hours. It's not a big fucking country, but like-Really? Yeah, dude. It's crazy when you go through a trip to Europe and you're like, The French and the English just for thousands of years fought each other, and they're fucking a 20-minute helicopter ride apart. You know what I mean? It's like getting to Queens from Queens to JFK. That's part of France is that close to England. It's fucked up.

Yeah, it is crazy to think. Sometimes I wish we had more stuff like that. I wish we would sometimes go to state governments. Do you think that we could end up like that over here?

Go more individual state-wise, like the original conception where everybody has their own.

Little vibe? Yeah, I think it would just be... I mean, it would makesports would be so much more exciting because you would be like, if Georgia is playing California, they are playing California.

Yeah. Well, that is what's cool about I love soccer, obviously. And that's the one thing American sports misses is that these are countries that literally fought each other. When you have fucking Algeria playing France, those motherfuckers colonized Algeria. Like, Algeria wants to fuck them up. So it is cool. But yes, I think you're right. It would be a real Melee situation. I think about that sometimes where it's like, Yeah, what does happen if we just... Everyone calls each other's bluff. And we're just like, Fuck you. Fuck you. We're separate countries. And then we see what happens.

I think it would be really exciting. It would definitely be more exciting. And also the states are getting really different. You're having states that are like going bankrupt. You're having states that are keeping it together. You have in states that can't take care of their people. You have in states that can take care of their people. Totally. You have states that have legal gun carry and states that I think you're getting... They seem to be getting more separate than together. And I think we as a country seem to be getting like that at times.

Yeah. I mean, it's also fucking huge. You do think about it, you're like, This really shouldn't be one country. We really should break it up.

I would love to have a couple.

Of countries. Yeah, give them a couple countries. Still no past, still like the EU, I can go vacation there. You know what I mean? I don't want to have to do a bunch more paperwork to get in. But that's the other thing. You know the culture war shit would get so annoying where it would be like if you're from New York and you just want to come hang out in the south, you know they would fuck with you a little more and vice versa. You know what I mean? They would be like-Yankies. Yeah, absolutely. You'd have to wear a gay patch. If you.

Were gay, you mean? Yeah. Oh, to let a Star-of-David thing.

Or whatever? Yeah. There'd be certain places where it's like, if you're trans, we want to know. Yeah, they.

Put a patch on. Put the trans patch on if you're.

Trans, patch on, we're not...

Nobody's got a problem. We just want to know what we're.

Dealing with. Coming to Florida.

Yeah, look, hunting season just started and some of these guys can't see well.

I-viz. Yeah, we want to... I-viz patch on.

Look, if you're sexually uncertain, we need you to put this orange vest on.

Yeah, exactly. Because we want to know if we fuck you, if it's gay or not. That's it. Nothing to do with you. It's all about our accounting. We keep track of our own. You're on vacation. We're not going to fuck with you. But if you get sucked off by our pal, he gets one gay strike, and then he can't.

Yeah, three strikes and you're out.

Three strikes, they take a little bit of your penis away.

Unless you get elected to be a sinner, you get two more strikes.

Right, yeah. That would Yeah, that's interesting. Making state government even gayer, which is hard to do.

Dude, I think it would be neat. There would be more excitement about your state, I think, or you would have to take more state responsibility.

Yeah.

I think what would be some of the good points of that, I wonder?

Well, I think a lot of it would be you would get to decide how to spend the money. I think it's a good idea in theory, and again, I don't fucking know because that's been so long since I've actually known shit like this. But I think a lot of states depend on federal funding way more than we realize.

Yeah, just say Mississippi.

I think what would happen is like, and also it's like once you stop being different, once you stop being like you could in theory be like, well, we're not going to spend money on the military. There could be like, liberal states are like, we're putting our money into whatever the fuck. And then it's like, first of all, who gets all the fucking planes? Would we pay like rock, paper, scissors for that shit?

Well, the military would still have to be a general consensus unless you'd have state military.

As well. Right. But what you're talking about essentially is becoming independent countries, basically. Or coalitions, you know what I mean? Like if you broke it up into four states.

Maybe divided up by population.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, it would definitely be exciting, bro, to have that go on in our lifetime. We started out of the country. We couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. And so we started to separate.

Why wouldn't you fuck up the liberal country, though? It just feels like it would be a quick like, all the place with guns. If I were a gun guy and if you took New York and L. A. These huge economies, it's like, Why don't we just go fucking kill those guys? Why wouldn't you just declare war and be like, Dibs on this shit?

Yeah, definitely at New Year's Eve, when it was the time where you shoot guns in the air. I have a feeling everybody would just turn their guns right over to the state they don't love.

Yeah.

Absolutely. So the bullets all flew over there.

Yeah, absolutely. We got to go. Who knows? Who knows where it comes down, not Not my problem.

I'm celebrating. 19. You're just unloading.

The clip. Or an Albanian wedding, maybe. Let the clip sing, let the chopper sing for an Albanian wedding.

Is a love. Oh, dude.

That's fun, man. I would have to stay. I would have to stay in whatever northeast country I would be. I'd be a New York guy, I think so.

Yeah, I think you would be a...

You don't like the mood.

Of.

Baltimore. Yeah, I would hope Baltimore, New York would be in one mid-Atlantic. Is it the Atlantic? I think that's what would happen. You'd have clumps. It wouldn't be 50 countries what.

We're talking about here. Oh, you say we probably get down to maybe 20 states or something.

Twenty, maybe ten, you know what I'm saying? Maybe fucking five. Who fucking knows?

What if it was some weird state that formed all across Georgia, California?

They just took all the coastline. They're like, We're the beach state. Suck my dick. You want to come to a beach? You got to go through me. That would be fucking bullshit.

Dude, if San Francisco commandeered like certain like, they owned all the certain rest areas along the way.

Yeah. Well, that's what you do with the homeless. Put them to work. Give them a couple of guns. You know what I mean? You could have the homeless Marine Corps, you know what I mean? They just got needles. They got little wolfereen hand needles coming at you, you know what I mean?

Oh, are they have like a big needle.

Yeah, one giant needle.

And they just load it up?

Yeah. And then.

They just run and inject it into somebody.

Yeah, is it fentanyl? Is it hormones? Who knows? Yeah, dude.

I got Narcan. You're just hitting each other with different needles.

Yeah, that is interesting because my gut reaction would be, well, whoever has guns, southern states, whatever, we're fucked up. But every time I feel like you look at Fox News, it's like a different guy that's so scared to go to New York City who's the toughest guy. It's like you have guns and shit, but you're scared of the homeless. So it's a natural... It would be a natural, like StailMate, where it's like we would just need a wall of patrolling and then give them houses, give them little sick.

Homeless huts. Lean toes on the outside.

Absolutely. Get a.

Shanty town. Teach farming to homeless people. I wonder if, well, I think one of the big issues with the homeless is just that half people are not doing well. Half the people are drug users. There's huge beef on the street between homeless and just drugs, on the drugs, sleeping outdoors doing drugs.

Right.

Yeah. We don't know about that culture.

Get out of our community thing.

Right. Yeah, there's a lot of beef out there between those two cultures.

I get that.

Dude, I talked about this before, I think, but they had in Los Angeles, my apartment is right by a big park, right? And it's a hell of a out there. There's a dude that they caught killing a... He had a rooster. And then they finally found the dude that had it, right? He was waking everybody up for a four-block radius, this fucking thing. They finallyNo.

Chickens, just.

The rooster? We ended up killing the bird and doing a meal with it. Oh, nice. And then they had another pair of guys, and one of them, I think, was a woman, but whatever. Sure. Everybody can do what they want. But yeah, they were two men. And then they stole a bunch of high school band equipment, right? So it.

Was fucking crazy.

If you're going to do homeless crime, make it fun. You know what I mean? Da da da da da da. Da da da da. With your dick hanging out of your old ass sweatpants. Da da da da da da da da da da da. Baby and the chicks.

They were just, bro, they had a tongue sheet music from a high school.

That's what it was.

Awesome. Oh, God, it was fucking... You got a lot of time.

You got a lot of time on your hands of your own. Master an instrument.

Oh, yeah.

That's a thing. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Let's learn how to play the fucking French horn, dude. The fuck. That's nice.

There's some guy playing taps every night when they go to bed.

I love that, dude. That's fucking sick. Yeah.

Man. But, dude, congratulations. There is something that, or I don't know if you feel it because you're from a little bit younger generation than me, right? Yeah. Probably 10 years younger. So do you feel like, was there a level of getting Netflix that made you feel a certain way? Because for sure. Was there?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think part of it was like these last couple of years went better than I thought possible. You know what I mean? I put out the special and I started posting clips and people just responded in a way that I'm still confused a little bit about where I'm like, or these theaters and shit like that. But part of me was like, This is fucking sick. I'll always continue to do this. I love having control over how people interact with my shit. But at the end of the day, there's a totally different type of audience on Netflix, mainstream people that really, even though everything's moving online, that's like, shit moves slower than people give it credit for, right? There's still so many people that don't know who the fuck you are if you're just on YouTube, even though it really helps selling tickets. So it was like, I was just like, I want one. I have no mainstream credits. I have not won no fucking late night, no TV, none of that shit. So it's just like, let's get one real one and let's let it be a place where everybody fucking...

It still has that like... Because there's no Comedy Central Hour anymore. There's no HBO special anymore. I mean, I know they exist, don't get me wrong, but it's like Netflix for a while, I think, became the place for comedy. And I think they realize that with everybody doing YouTube, like everybody who got specials recently, you look at Shane, you know what I mean? Sam, Mark, whatever. Everybody, me, we all had to fucking go do it. We had to almost prove it. And then Netflix was like, Oh, fuck, this is going- We missed the boat. Yeah, but then they're doing a good job of like, no, do it here now. And I think it's been a really good thing for comedy where it's like, we all made our own fan bases. And now some of us are bringing fan bases there. But then it's like there's regular motherfuckers that just want to watch. I mean, The Office is on Peacock now, but The Office just some mainstream shit that have no fucking clue who I am. So it does feel really cool. And a lot of people... It's funny because people in your audience will be like, Dude, Netflix.

Hell, yeah, that's huge. And it's like, It is. But also like, You're here. You know what I mean? You found me already. Why does it matter that I got Netflix? But it does still matter. And to me, it feels cool because it feels like the place where theoretically it could be some huge, not that I'm banking on it to be some huge hit, but you're at least in the mix where it's like all the mainstream shit is on there. You feel like you're in a different, in a little bit of a different league a little bit. Yeah. So it was cool.

No, it's interesting. Yeah, because I think it used to feel like if you got a special on something or you couldn't tell your friends you were a comedian, it felt like this is just my perception that until you got something on television or something, something on streaming, something somewhere until then a lot of people thought you were just like a gay guy, like trying not to be gay. Yeah. I'm like, Dude, this guy. Yeah, absolutely.

This is how he gets that out of his system. He can't sing. He can't dance. All these guys telling little stories. He tried playing the homeless trombone. He got blown off the fucking streets. Now he's got to do his gay little stories.

Yeah, that was it.

It really is art for the least talented people in the world. That's what we're doing. We have no, we are not showmen. You put us in the 20s when everyone, How are you doing, my lady? In between, they had to be their own dance guys. We're fucked. We just got to tell humorous stories.

Yeah, we would be on a wanted poster. Oh, my God. We were peeping times before they had windows.

Yes, absolutely. Just trying to put your cheek up against the woman's window and maybe she rubbed her tits on it for a second. Some of that heat gets through that window.

I miss all that and I love that. But there was something about getting it in a place, and I think having in a place where it's like, I think it starts to, if there's any, I was just wondering, there used to be this thing in our heads that would be like, Oh, man, this thing's spinning. And if I don't get once you get something in a place where people can go view it, then it feels like you've at least achieved some goal Totally. You know, if it's a success, but.

It's a goal. No, I really feel that way a little bit.

That's what I was wondering. Is it still like that?

It feels like a fucking save point in a video game. Right. You know.

What I mean?

You can save it now. Yeah, it's like I can take a break. Because dude, I've been fucking... I've been going... Since the pandemic ended, it literally has just been like my road business and my shit online has kept growing to a point where I felt like I couldn't stop. I was like, I needed some tangible thing. Even though that's a little in your head, I think we're both, and a lot of people are just a little neurotic in comedy where you have to feel like you have earned a break. And to me, this thing does feel that way where it's like I worked hard as fuck, put out a special, busted my ass to get more material in a year so that I could potentially do this. And now it's like we saved. I'm going to do some sidequests. I'm in Vice City. I'm going to go do the cheat, the hack where they suck you off. I'm going to go to the beach and shoot. You know what I mean? Just hang out. I can't wait to do that. But yeah, it definitely feels that way. And it's hard because there's not a lot of that stuff anymore.

A little bit of it feels like we don't know a path. There are no answers. The thing that's, except maybe your own podcast, which is why I started one, too, where it was just like, that's like you're connected to your people once a week. And I love that aspect of it. But everything else, dude, YouTube could fucking decide we don't want dirty shit on our platform tomorrow. And then what the fuck do you do? You're fucked. Instagram, TikTok, all those motherfuckers can change their algorithm like that. They could ban you. I got plenty of shit. You know... I mean, plenty of people, all came in to said some wild, banable shit if they decide to switch up. But this does feel like, hey, I have this body of work, at least where it's like the big picture thing that's there. And then it'll help with all this other shit until we figure out what the next thing is.

Yeah, it's cool, man. Well, congratulations, dude. Thanks, dude, I'm proud of you. You really deserve it. And yes, it was cool. I know you and I crossed paths a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, we were both in Cleveland.

In Cleveland? Yeah. That was cool, man.

That was awesome. Thatthank you. That was fucking sick.

Yeah, it was.

Cool, man. We were in Akron, the house of... You were playing Akron where LeBron was built.

Yeah, the darkest theater I'd.

Ever been in. Very dark. I had no idea how gigantic it was. I literally thought I was like, Oh, cool. Theo is doing like he wants to do some small theaters and shit. I thought it was like people right in front of us. Then they turn the lights on and this motherfucker goes up like that high.

Suicide section. We do five or six guys dive off there right now.

Yeah, bungee jump off that bitch.

Yeah, a couple of dudes auditioning for Antifah at my.

Shows or whatever.

Yeah, dude, it's crazy. We had a show last night. I am a tired, man. We had a show last night in Huntsville. What was I thinking about? When you said federal funding, say if they did divide in the states, right? So Louisiana, there was a time where they were given federal funding and they said we had to change our drinking law from 18 to 21. Can you pull that up, Alex? What? That's bullshit. And we said...

Fuck.

You. We said, Fuck you. Not only are we going to be.

Drunk, but.

We're going to let our roads deteriorate so we.

Drive along.

The following year, there was like 7,000 drunk driving deaths.

They're like, Fuck and try us, motherfucker. We don't care. They're like, It's babies with fetal alcohol syndrome driving.

Yeah, it's Albanyan babies. Pull up an article just if you see something like that.

That's fucking awesome, dude. I respect that so much.

Well, we tried, I remember, to do that. And for a few years it stood up and everybody's excited, We can drink. But then everybody's phamp, kids were dying. We shouldn't drink.

We should get home safe.

It.

Is funny, though, if you watch clips of when they passed drunk driving laws, people are just like, Are you fucking kidding me? In my own truck? The government is trying to fucking... Now they're in my F-150. What's next? You know what I mean? People fight good, like any regulation, tooth to nail, which it's like the way a baby is like, I'm not going to bed. Suck my dick. And then they wake up and- And.

This, look, let's say this. This baby does smoke cigarettes and has had a history of gambling online to be able to.

Say that stuff. Yeah, he's got a dirty mouth. A foul mouth.

This baby. Yeah, this baby worked offshore for a couple of years. Here it says, published March 10th, 1996 at 5:00 a. M. Let me see for a year. Let me see. Last week, the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that the state's drinking age of 21 is a form of age discrimination and tossed out the 1995 law as well as the 1986 law that barred those under 21 from buying alcohol. Louisiana has become the only state in the nation with a drinking age of 18.

That's not still how it is.

Though, is it? No, they had to change it at some point.

When the potholes were so big, it was just swallowing entire cars.

There's people doing spas in a pothole where they put a heating rod down into a pothole.

That's.

Fucking awesome. Yeah, some people drove into a pothole. They filmed that movie, Tremmers in a pothole there.

They had a whole soundstage down there.

-there's.

People missing. -dennis Qwade.

Was in there. Elon Musk is doing something down in one of them.

Yep, one of those little tunnels. My man loves tunnels.

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Yeah, well, first of all, New Orleans rocks such a sick city. But yes, they both are cities with their own vibe. But I don't know. I mean, my family just did not... Greek people didn't have Thanksgiving. Oh, really? We adopted that shit while we were here. Obviously, you're here, you live in America, whatever. But my family was not a turkey family. My dad, we would always get a leg of lamb. We would always have lamb. Our Thanksgiving was we would always go to my brother's godmother's house who lived just in the hood truly. I don't know what the fuck happened. She's the only... She's like a four, six woman, both dimensions, just a.

Nice squat. Where's a 38, 38 pants?

Absolutely, dude. All-shoulder. She rules. She's very, we want to talk about low center of gravity. You cannot move this woman, believe me. If she digs her heels in. And she just lived in the fucking East Baltimore in the 90s, it was fucking brutal. That was the first time I was ever scared of a neighbor because there's a little kid you don't know anybody. It's not like, by the way, Greek town was not good, but we would go there and be like, What the fuck is going on here? Kids are just playing basketball with legitimately not ball, like.

With objects. Yeah, there'd be kids playing with a big orange. They draw the lines on with a marker.

Very large orange. They peel out, you lose, you have to peel for the winner and serve it to him. If you lose, you get scurvy. You don't have the correct vitamin C. It was the only orange that live in a food desert, of course, in the hood. So it's the only orange for Miles. Yeah. That's a Covenid thing. And it literally was like not a real hoop. It's like one of those crates that you cut out. And I was just like, What the fuck? It was the first time I was like, What the fuck is going on here? And like, Why did she live here? Because I always thought she was rich in my head. I don't know. She just carried herself like a rich woman, I guess. And we would just go there and just like, you know, watch the parade, have a bunch of weird half Greek, half American dishes. She made some weird mushroom rice, and just her sons would fuck us up. That rough housing of just like, if you're four and some woman's got teenage sons, they are just tossing you around, slapping the fuck out of you, being like, You're a bitch if you tell.

I'm not a bitch. Yeah, you're not a bitch, but you're in.

A neck brace. Yeah, and then you punch them in the dick. That's the one move a little kid has when they're fighting like a teen. It's just the nice cock punch.

But.

Our holidays were real, and then Christmas was just...

Did they have a Santa? Would you ever do a.

Greek Santa? Not a Greek. Yeah, a Greek Santa. Or a Baltimore Santa. Tell me what you want. Harry. Beautiful girl. Come here. Greek Santa is like the 16-year-old hostess at the diner is like, I tell you what you want. No problem. Come here. I have for you. You not tell my wife. Ms. Klas don't need to know. Yeah, Greek Santa, all the kids get a handful of Feta from his pockets. It's like, reach inside, not too deep. Do not reach deeper. Everybody have to have feta. Yeah. But we waited. We waited in line to see if we can Santa Claus. You all did? Yeah, I loved all that shit. I loved all that whimsical American shit because that's the other thing, Greek people do Christmas actually not a big deal. New Year's is when you give presents. Oh, yeah. Really? But myThey tried that. We were like, Look, motherfucker, you moved to America. I'm getting my shit on- Let's party. I'm getting my shit on December 25th, maybe even the 24th. But yeah, we were just-.

Yeah, I'm trying to think what they had in our town if we were to go see a Santa.

Do you have a.

Little hoot nanny? They had a do. Yeah, they used to have this place. It was like a secondary bread or something. You ever had seen one of them shops where it's like you go get the bread, but they should have sold it the other day?

Yes, they sold. Sure, yeah. It was soup kitchen. Yeah. Your mom's like, We're going to a store, Theo.

It's all bread in there. But they'd have a dude over there. He would pull up this cage in Santa, and he'd be like, What do you want that bite?

Come on, if you don't.

Want thin on lappro. We're going to get you a boy.

Yeah, cage in Santa. What do.

You want? You want a lisp? He gave out the length. I'm like.

He gives out lips. It's like you have ailments from Cajun Santa. You got a cleft lip, my boy. You going to wake up without your front tooth.

You want a little cleft pallet from Santa, huh?

Yeah, your left leg is going to be two inches longer than your right leg from.

Now on. Let me tell you if I got a little polio in my sack for you all there, boy. Something that'll slow you down in the thwamp.

The friendship of an alligator. He just gives you mystical presence. There will be one Gator. He'll be your friend, but there'll be three Gator to be your enemy.

He would be like, Let me hold your hand and together we'll pray for your dead twin that was never born.

I'm like, Dead twin? His eyes roll back in his head. He's like, Tell Mommy, Todd's going to get her next. Oh, that's too much Santa Ria for one day for Santa. Oh, I need Gumball. Quick, get him some Gumball so he can tell the future. Oh, man. Get that.

Boy, Crawl-dad. Let him suck on that head. Somebody let him suck on that head, too.

Keep his.

Energy.

Up. That's his present, too. He's like, Crawl-dad, you didn't suck on to completion. I left a little hit on the meat. Little meat on the head there for you, boy. You've been a good boy.

I got you a hot, warm oyster out of my pocket. Let me give you a warm oyster and a couple of knock-hand tablets. Welcome to New Orleans, baby.

This here is Lil' Wayne's Boxer Short. From what he was in the Hot Boys.

Yeah, we got a picture of Lil' Wayne's Boxer Short. Police investigating viral photo taking at Mall of Louisiana. Santa, cash, and gun. Let's see what happened here. There they go. That's fucking sick. Oh, yeah, there's some dude.

Oh, that's a great pic.

And what the article says there, brother?

I hope the police are searching them to give them the key to the city.

Baton Rouge photo showing two men posing with stacks of cash and a handgun alongside a mall Santa.

That's a fucking.

Sick look, dude. And look at saying he's doing a dab, dude.

That's awesome. He's a couple of dances behind. He's trying to catch on to black culture.

Yeah, dude. Dab came after the dougie, bro. Get it together. One of the men seen in the photo is 29-year-old Al Monzo Paul.

Al Monzo is such a sick name. Oh, it is. No, not Alonso. Al Monzo. I thought of an extra M in Alonso. It's a power move.

Almanzo. Dude, yeah, I love it. Yeah. Was arrested Thursday on an unrelated warrant out of Texas. Wow.

Snitching. They were-For having some Christmas cheer, it's fucking illegal to have a nice time with Santa Claus now.

I think it's the nine millimeter that got him.

I thought this was America.

That could be a Glock. Yeah, times have changed.

That's one of the most American Christmas pictures I've ever seen. What are you supposed to do? Not go shopping? He's got money. Santa's at a mall. He's putting money back into the fucking economy. And he's protecting himself with the Second Amendment rights. Now, did he get that strictly legally? Who's to say? Oh, now we care about fucking government red tape.

Yeah, how do we know we ain't a lifeguard, bro. And we need more black lifeguards, too.

We need more black lifeguards and those pools get testy. Yeah, let's just say this.

We need more black lifeguards. Look at me, Biden.

Somebody. Joe, here's how you're going to win. Here's how you're going to win the next year. More black lifeguards.

Dude, they should... What did I see this morning? Oh, Joe, talking to some kid. They have another thing with a kid up there. I'm at the point with Biden. It feels like they shouldn't do this to an old person.

Dude, it's fully elder abuse.

That's what I feel like. And it feels like it's almost like they're trying to create Stockholm syndrome within us that we think it's crazy. If that were my dad or grandpa, I would be like, Hey, don't do this to him.

Look how sad he looks. Holy fuck. He looks so fucking sad.

Dude, the other day, one of an answers.

First of all, that looks like a guy wearing a Joe Biden mask. Somebody get that motherfucker his dosage of fucking Super Adderall. What the fuck, dude? I do not want to see him in public unless they've got him dosed with whatever fucking growth hormone, whatever.

Dude, he is. How good? How good. How good. How...

How good. Whatever they give him must.

Feel awesome. Offerage or.

Peptides, you think? Whatever it is, dude. Some shit we don't even know about.

But yeah, the other day, he answered... There were some question. You see that video? He answered, Carissa explains it all was his answer. Holy shit.

That was when I was a child. That's awesome, dude. That's 20 years ago.

But yeah, he just smelt a kid this morning and he's like, How old are you? There's a new video. And he's like, Are you 17? And then her brother goes, She's six.

Sorry, old habits die hard. He's just clicking. He's got the dementia where he's like, now he's acting like he did in his 40s. And now when he's riding that Amtrak down to Delaware, cute woman sits next to him on the fucking- Where are.

You heading, honey?

Yeah. Yeah, you're 17, right? Yeah. He knows the age of consent of all the states that Amtrak passes. So he goes to New York, Jersey. East town?

Yeah. Oh, you're 16. Your birthday's in September 10th.

Stop the train right here, Conductor. Stop it for 12 minutes.

Hey, let's slow down in Delaware. I'm trying to meet a girl.

He knows the safe havens. It's a 16-year-old. Oh, you know he.

Was-hey, let me know before we reach the Potomac. I got a telegram, a girl, charges, re-serve, buy an ass six-year-old girl if she's 17, dude. What does this guy want to be a comedian?

It's funny, though, to call him creepy. It's like, All right, guys, he's clearly losing his mind. That's what I don't like.

Let's get, you know.

He doesn't have the faculties to be a pedophile anymore.

Right. That's the unfair part of it.

Cut down in this prime. Now that he's finally got all the power in the world, he's too seen how to be a pedophile.

It's hard to break into those pedophiles, dude.

It's like the fucking... Fuck, what's the old sci-fi?

Why don't we be talking.

About-twilight Zone.

-blackmail, type of Twilight.

Yes, Twilight Zone, where the guy has all the time in the world and his glasses break and he can't read anymore. He's like, But there was time now. That's Biden now. He's like, But I'm the President now. I could go to Epstein's Island. It's over. Sorry, Joey.

It's the rise or shut down. Yeah.

Just a senile Joe Biden, sadly walking through an empty Epstein's Island. What? Now that I get in, it's.

Fucking done. That was the ticket booth right there.

He's just seeing a plaque. It was just like fucking Bill Clinton smiling. Yeah.

That's why I want a stuffed 14-year-old. That's why I want a goldfish. That's a week old, and it was a Chinese boy. If you do.

The fucking, if you do the fucking, Ski Ball.

If you.

Do, they have those disk toss, but it's on a Chinese boy's penis. You got to get it on. It's high difficulty.

Let's just say high difficulty. You're like, man, there's no way to get this on there.

You're complaining to the guy. I saw Bill Gates do it. He did it. He had a whole fucking... I saw Stephen Hawking build a robot that could do it.

Yeah, they're like, Dice Clay landed a smoke ring on it.

Trump's claimed it was fixed. I could do it. Dude, I saw.

A pothole the other day. We went to University of Tennessee football game, and we saw a pothole with just smoke coming out of it. And it reminded me of Trump's hair, dude.

Yeah, hell yeah.

Just that nice. That hot smoke coming out. Absolutely.

He's had some funny clips recently, too. Yeah, it's interesting. He feels like he's getting a little senile, too, which I'm not against. Right. Because it's going to get funny.

Oh, I think it'd really get funny if he gets in. I think, I don't know. It's like, I am so sick that we're stuck in this two parties. We are trapped in the two party system. You're trapped forever. It's obvious that we're trapped. I think humans are starting to realize. There's no more. You can't do it anymore to people. At some point, we're going to have to break out.

You'd hope so. I don't know. It's true that none of these options are good, where it's like, you see on polling, the little stuff that I pay attention to, it's like when you ask people, Generic Democrat versus Trump, generic Democrat wins, and you ask them, Generic Republican versus Biden, Generic Republican wins. It's like they just don't want these guys. Nobody wants these guys. It's like Democrats have nobody. Kamala Harris has no sauce whatsoever.

They're not even making a plan, though. That's the part I don't understand. What could their strategy be? They can't have Joe Biden run again. I don't think it's because it's just not going to be... To me, it just gets to the point where it's like that's the part that to me makes me sad. It's like, can we stop doing this to this guy? It's just not fair.

Let him eat some ice cream.

Bring somebody else in his stead right now that at least is somebody who's viable. Right.

For all intents and purposes, we should consider him dead. He's not. He's technically breathing. But for all intents and purposes, the guy's got to... Let him fucking retire. Let him hang out. Let him retire, dude. He's had a whole nice career of being a fucking one of the most lucky guys of all time.

But I don't know, dude. But his son died. His son died. He was in a Union Fire. He was doing something. He was in the Merchant Marines. He was on the top of Kilimanjaro. His son passed away, fell into a black school district, and died at the hands of Narcan and.

Local gunfire. I believe that it was either that or brain cancer. I can't tell I would think it was that, though.

He might have been. I think he drowned at the Audubon Zoo, somewhere outside of Cincinnati, when Joe Burrow threw him at a pass over the middle.

Yeah, he hung about to dry.

And Al.

Wilson hit him. Yeah. He hate to.

See that, man. But I remember it like it was yesterday here. I remember it like it was tomorrow. Yeah. But everything is becoming a little bit of a farce like, Oh, did you see? Thanks so much for being here, man. This is the funniest conversation I've had in a long time. And congrats to you. Your episode was one of our most watched.

Ones, man. I mean, it was so fucking fun.

People.

Love you. Thanks, man. Yeah. No, this is so sick. Thanks for letting me fucking promote the special. Go watch that Motherfuckers, Fat Rascal out, I think, now or next week or whenever this comes out.

Do you feel a response ability to stay fit?

You know what I do? Every time a famously fat person loses weight, it does feel like a betrayal. I will admit that. But I think I could lose 100 pounds and still be generous. Generally thick. You know what I mean? I want to trim it down a little bit. I want to get it going a little bit. But yeah, I can never be a skinny guy like Fat Joe, the man's name is Fat Joe. He's zamped up right now. Oh, yeah. He is fucking humongous head. Skinny. You can't be skinny, man. You can't take the Ozempic that far. Adjust your dose. Have some chicharones and fucking stay big arms, little titties. That's my dream. I just want little titties. I don't want them to go away.

Go on yourself. Yeah.

No, I would like little arms, big titties on a game. You know what? Not even little arms.

Big arms, little titties is a fucking move, though.

On a woman? Yeah. I've seen some hot, big armed, little tittied ladies.

Big armed, little tittied, baby. That's somebody raised on a mountain.

Yes, yes.

Climbing up. Somebody got to go uphill, pull themselves up a lot.

Absolutely thick. Very, very like the tips of their finger. Basically, Albanian soup fingers. Albanian soup stirs. Thick knuckle, you know what I mean? Maybe bales of hay, that type, that style of bitch. Although I have not... I haven't tangled with too many country girls. I'm open to it, but it's just never... I'm not around them, I guess. I'd love to hear a southern accent while busting. It would be cool. I'm sure you've done your fair today. Hey. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Roll tight.

Somebody said one of my friends said that he fucked a girl from the south and she said she was fixing to come.

Oh, yeah. That sounds odd. I would.

Love to hear that. I'm fixing to come.

Fixing to come. I would be like, That's awesome.

Take your time.

Because what it would do for me was I would hear fixing to come and I would both get the rush of a woman saying she's about to come. But just that phrase would make me in my head smell biscuits and think about biscuits and think about other Southern traditions. And I think it would be a very.

Powerful climate change to me. You're fixing to come. I'll have a couple of scoops at to come. If you're fixing it.

If you're fixing to come. Well, I've never had to come before.

I'm like, put some cheese on it. Maybe I'll have a little of it. Not much, you know.

We ate a little bit ago.

Have you ever been fat at all in your life?

I had a couple of months while I was fat. Something happened, I don't remember. Interesting. What ages were you? Oh, I got in a wheelchair.

Fuck.

For what? I got in a wheelchair, dude. I got my Pennics taken out. I was running the bases. I was doing baseball. Oh, shit. As a youth or recently. My Pennics burst or whatever as.

A child. Oh, my God.

Our coach, right? It was like just some guy... He was just so fat he just hated gay people. Right?

That can happen. If your brain gets so fat it cuts off the empathy part of your brain. So anybody different than you, you want to just fucking kill them. Absolutely.

And he would try to point to a base and he couldn't even...

He had to do a full body point.

He was like John McCain duck hunting.

He just fucking couldn't do it. Go ahead and make my day.

John McCain tried to just do it at four degrees or under.

Yeah, having to do glute bridges to raise the gun.

So that was crazy, dude, I think. So your.

Shit popped.

And the fat guy was-I'm shut down between second and third, right? Oh, my God. And he's screaming at me to go, and I'm like, I cannot.

Even-i'm going to die.

Move. I am going to die. I'm crawling towards third base. Our field was downhill. It all went into the right field. I'm crawling the uphill way.

A slight angle up.

Half of our hits went to the right field because it was a pretty hard gradient out there. I'm going upthe hill, dude. It was like, Ero Gima. Yeah. We've got sepsis or something, and they took me to the hospital. Then I was in a wheelchair for a while, and some of the medications they made maybe putting a little bit of weight. I had a lot of water retention.

Sure, a.

Little puffy. Yeah, and I think I thought I was going to die, so I just wanted to eat as much as I could.

Of course, a little pie on.

The way out. A couple of croissants. At that.

Age, -Croissants.

-cobbler. We didn't have croissants in our area, I don't think. No?

Not even with the French, Cajun, beignets, nothing?

Sausage, we had a lot of roadside sausage.

What's the strangest sausage? Do you have Armadillo sausage?

No, I've had, what's something that I've had that's pretty wild, I've had dove. I've seen a couple of brothers. A couple of brothers grill up a dove outside of our apartment complex.

How do you know it was a dove?

They said, Hey, homie, you want some Dove? You want some Dove? And I turn them down most of the time. Finally, I had a little. It's not bad, but you have to talk to them for a while. But they're nice, but they're-Good guys. -they're just too old to be talking to a child. Especially if you're eating a damn church meat like dove.

Of course. Do you think they wait in trees above weddings? They release them? You just see some fat black eye jump out of the tree. We got them.

Have you seen that dove they throw it that wet at the funeral?

No. Oh, yeah, and it gets got by a Hawk or whatever?

No, the one that just...

That's a funny one where they do that thing where it's like, we'll release his soul. Literally, a Hawk comes and fucking takes and just kills the dove. And everyone's like, Oh. Fuck. Our grandfather's going to hell.

Pull that up, man. Pull up, brother, dove, release death. Pull it if you can, man. I think a roadside brother, peacebird, deceased. See what you got.

Please type that.

Exact phrase in there. There you go. That's it right there. You want to put them on for a second? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Hey, my brother. I heard David said the other day, Oh, I don't know if I have wings like this dope. For then why I fly away and be at rest.

That's dinner, boy. And be at rest. That's church dinner.

Yeah, nothing wrong with that. I would eat most birds, I would say.

Panda, you think you'd eat it?

Good question. I mean, they're sedentary animals. They're pretty fat. Wouldn't be tough meat. It would.

Be-you think it would be marbled.

Marbled. I mean, people talk about, Logan talks about eating bear. I feel like I see clips of him talk about eating bear a lot, or he's had guests on that have eaten bear.

Yeah, the pandis is a Chinese bear.

Little sashuans sauce on that fucking...

I mean, dude, look at that bitch right there. You wouldn't fucking have a...

Shauna could send you pandis to the US as envoys of friendship. Okay.

Do pan seared?

I would take that. I would take a big bear. Can you... Search, can you eat pandas?

Yeah.

Because I've seen a picture of a bear steak that got me thinking, I might.

The hair would be so... How does giant panda meat taste terrible, apparently? In 1983, a Chinese villager, and you knew they'll fucking eat anything, boy. -name, Langzi Zong. -name, Langzi Zong. Tried for you, illegally killing a giant panda. He told the judge that his wife cooked the meat with turnips, but they didn't enjoy it. So he fed some to his pigs and gave the remainder to his sister.

Damn, just a couple of sister-catching-strays.

Who is.

Albanian, probably. I tried to feed it to my pigs, but they were too sophisticated, so I gave it to my fat, horror sister.

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So don't feel ashamed, give it a try. Visit betterhelp. Com/theo to get 10 % off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/theo. Find your bright spot this season with better help. Dude, did you see these two? This is how just weird the world is getting stuff. Did you see the two? There was, I think Mullen was the guy's name and the Senator.

What was this?

I think this was yesterday or two days ago. Republican Senator Mark Wayne Mullen challenged Teamster's President, Sean O'Brien, to fight during a Senate hearing, rising from a seat before the committee chair stepped in to defuse the confrontation. What the fuck? This is pretty interesting.

The Senator challenged him to a fight?

Yeah, it's just crazy that this is.

Where we're at. I know, dude.

Yeah, let's play it.

Now, let's talk about Mr. O'brien himself, his behavior. As everybody knows, and it's here in the last time, him and I had a back and forth. Appreciate your demeanor today. It's quite different. But after you left here, you got pretty excited about the keyboard. In fact, you tweeted at me one, two- Oh, come on, dude. -three, four, five times. Let me read what the last one said, quit the tough guy act and these Senate hearings. You know where to find me. Any place, any time, cowboy. Sorry, this is a time, this is a place. No, it's not, Dickhead. You're in the fucking Senate. We can be transparent in the court. We can finish it here. Okay, fine. Perfect. You want to do it now? I'd love to do it right now. Just stand your butt up. Oh, hold on.

Oh, stop it.

Is that.

Your solution? And look at where he gets it. No, sit down. You're a United States senator.

Okay, get his ass, Bernie. Can I respond? Hold it. Get his ass, Bernie. This is a hearing.

God knows the American people have.

Enough of contempt.

But Congress, let's.

Not make it worse. I don't like thugs. I don't like you because you just described yourself. Hold it. Hold it.

You have the mic.

You have time.

Make your statement.

Let's do this because I did challenge you and I accepted your challenge and you went quiet. No, I didn't go quiet. You challenged me to a cage match acting like a twelve year old school year old. Hold on. Excuse me.

Hold on. No, excuse me.

I have a mic. I will say.

Exactly-extend in a moment. I have the mic. You have.

Questions.

On any economic.

Issues or anything.

We're not here to talk about physical abuse.

That's good, man. That's fucking crazy.

Meanwhile, that guy has two Uvalde moms sitting behind him, so sad about what happened to their kids, and that's what they're doing. Dude, that's insane.

The sad is talking about B, You're bitch made. No, you're bitch made.

Yeah, and he's three and a mark Wayne.

What are you fighting?

Probably, I would.

Guess, a Unitar. Oh, pro-NMA.

Yeah, MMA.

He played MMA. He's playing at the under giant with the one shoulder.

He's out of Westville, Oklahoma. Wow. So he was maybe semi-pro. Interesting. Did he have a nickname, though? That would be his best. Does it have this? The Senator. What if his nickname was the Senator? -mark Wayne.

-big government. -i like that.

-big government. Mark Wayne, you have two names. Oh, he beat Clinton Bons. Oh, Clinton Bons, he beat him twice.

He fought Bobby Kelly.

He fought Bobby Kelly. Dude, stop fucking hitting me, dude.

What the fuck? Hey, Lord.

That's awesome. But it's just that's weird, man. Where it's getting now is that people are like, That's how we're going to raise money for their county or whatever.

Because they're like.

Yeah, he's cool. They're going to do a fight versus an only fans model. And that's where the funding is going to... It's like the government is dead, man.

It just.

Feels like the tech is the government now.

Yeah, everything is so privatized, which is an issue. I don't think government is good, but I just think you can't trust business. I guess the thing is I don't trust the government, but I trust them. We have slightly more direct control over the government than we do just rich people that can do whatever the fuck they want. Right. And that's what's scary is tech, like you're saying, by default, controls our lives. And it's like, it starts out fine, but we were just talking about it. We've made our living, honestly, a big part on with tech companies. Youtube is fucking Google. They're one of the biggest fucking tech companies in the world. Instagram, Meta, whatever you want to say. And now everything's fine. But it's like these motherfuckers can decide tomorrow that they can.

Just fucking- They don't want us. Yeah. You know what I mean? We can just do it tomorrow. This guy's voice, we don't need it. It's not part of a bigger... Say if those companies get together, what's our goals for the next five years? Okay, we got to weed some of these people out.

But you're right in that like- It's true. And it's scary in that like, yeah, people didn't ever respect the government or they did. There was a position of power or whatever. But it's like, that's what happens when you don't get money, when it's so clear that these motherfuckers are bought and paid for that you don't respect them anymore. And so then it becomes not who do I trust to take care of my district, but who's cool? And it becomes a fucking weird popularity contest. And you get a guy who will probably be like, I'm not a pussy. I challenge some fucking dork to a fight. And then some fucking morons will be like, That's my fucking guy. Or like, What's your face, jacking off that guy at Beatle Juice. Like, That was the coolest thing she's ever done. Oh, I didn't see that. Lauren Bowbert, she over the pants, jacked her date. First date, I don't agree with her politics, but I do agree with her stance as a date. Yeah. Her date etiquette is awesome.

Yeah, especially in a movie theater, and it was a packed movie theater. Yeah. I remember seeing that. I was like, Wow, there's other people right there.

And it's the Trump effect of like, Yeah, the guy's entertaining. The guy's.

Fucking entertaining. Well, at this point, that's what I think some people are saying, This government is a shit. I think we've entereded like a privatized communism. That's what it feels like, right? I don't know if communism is the right word, but it's like a privatized our leaders. Tech is the new fossil fuel. I used to say that years ago. That's the leaders now. It's like whoever... We can be shut down in a heartbeat because somebody doesn't like our voice or somebody doesn't like what we say or our direction or whatever it is. Those are the leaders, those are the masters. You need a government, but it's like now the government is just being used as this shell company that everybody's masquerading behind, and also to funnel our funds into whatever they want.

Totally. I wouldn't say communism. I would say it's like a fucking oligarchy, which is like the few control everything-Okay, that's better. -which is like, they're not redistributing fucking shit. That's the other thing, dude, is like, we don't even want that much. At this point, I'm just like, Dude, you want your pedify? Tim Dylan has that point where it's like, just go. The to go on your pedify and just do whatever. But it's like, could we have some health care? Could we have the bear?

Before-i have a neck break. So at least when the pedophile story breaks, I can sit up and look at my television.

But that's the thing. It's not like 40 years ago, the rich didn't have better lives than all of us, and the government didn't use their senators. The Kennedy's were using state police to ferry 18 year olds from Boston in and out of there, bring them beer and like, the powerful have always, whatever you want to say, they are going to have more privileges than us. And that's something we can work on long term to get rid of. But now it's like they are sucking people dry completely. They don't care anymore. And it's like, all these centers are like insider trading. Inequality is so fucking crazy where normal people cannot pay their fucking bills at all. And then you have scapegoat issues. The playbook is always like, let's turn people against each other, whether that's like, big-.

Blacks and.

Whites, gays and Russians. Blacks, gays, gays, trans, all this fucking. Yeah, that's always the playbook where it's like, That doesn't fucking really if everybody had their shit fixed, if everybody just had healthcare, they had a job that paid well, they didn't have to worry about if an emergency happens, am I going to fucking be out on the street?

Oh, yeah. If you want blood pressure medicine, they wouldn't say the N-word, I think.

Absolutely.

Absolutely, dude. But sometimes your blood pressure is so.

High you got a little oxygen. You get over 180, dude. You got to drop at least a soft A. I mean, you got.

To fucking let some steam.

Off the top. They prescribe that. You go to certain first aid or emergency rooms.

They give you a bag. Nobody can hear it.

Just shit into this, please. And a muffler or a silencer. It's a megaphone, but it's like a gun silencer. You're like, Go ahead, sir, shout it into that. And it just comes out so quiet. Beep.

And it actually registers like a- A.

Dog hears it? Yeah. It tells.

Your blood pressure at the same time. So if you do hit a certain blood pressure, like well, it's a loud bit.

Or it comes out in morse code. You say it and it's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Dude, yeah. There was some story about a guy who was like morse, who was doing Braille the N-word all over the place, and people were fucking reading it. I think that was in outside of Philadelphia.

Oh, man, that is... I got to admit, that's pretty good. I don't like N-word vandalism, but it's a.

Pretty -If you're blind, you only see black anyway. So this could be able to fucking pull it up with the run of a finger here. There's got to be. It has to make you giggle. And I think blind people deserve to laugh. That's a good point. Blind people deserve to laugh more than anyone.

That's a very good point. And if putting a couple of end bumps on Chipotle tables is going to do it, if carving a couple of end bumps at a DJ Max.

Then that's our health care.

That's the closest we're getting to health care. Yeah, I know, dude. It's tough not to be almost like, nihilistic, where this shit's just not going to get better, where you're like, it just feels like they're going to suck people dry so much. And I just don't see any representation of what a lot of I mean, it would have to be like a youth movement, I think, but of young people just having enough of this shit. Because old people are just going to stay conservative. That's how it goes traditionally. And I just think like, I don't know, man, shit has to get shaken up and we just need just basic shit. Obviously, I was a big Bernie guy, and there was a big outpouring of like, Trump and Bernie, it's not a coincidence that two outside different things really registered.

With people. I would say they ran together. I really do. Because I think then you have where if one of them gets, one of them gets provide, one of them gets president. They have to compete again. They have to really work together. Instead of just working with some guy you picked, you have to work with the other side's guy.

I know what you mean, but there's no way. Those guys were so apart on so much shit. But I know what you mean.

But as a person, an American would have been like, Oh, this is.

What I need. I think that actually would have resonated with people just because they were saying some... I mean, obviously their solutions were very different, but they were saying similar stuff about like, This shit is just not... I don't know that Trump is talking about inequality, obviously, but they just felt like outsiders in a way. Trump was saying more general stuff. Bernie's message was, I think, way more economically focused and redistributive. But yeah, everyone just wanted something new at that time. We didn't get it, and we've doubled down on like... Then ultimately, I think, Trump got into office and he was like a pretty run of the mill. He didn't really do anything crazy, anything like he didn't really shake shit up too much. And then you get Biden who's the most like... It's been the same shit again over and.

Over again. Right. That's what everybody's realizing. I think it's no matter where it goes. And that's the thing. I think that's where people are at. It's like, is this salvageable? Or is America just this experiment of freedom that didn't pan out?

Right.

Are we realizing that this is how capitalism falls? Because a lot of it is really greed. I think there should be a cap on how much money you can make as a human.

Dude, I fully agree. I think when you look at how many, what big projects happened in America when we got to the depression, all this stuff, it's like after a certain amount of money, you got taxed at 90 %. And it's like, I know that sounds crazy, but it's like when you're making a hundred million a year, do you really need a 110? You know what I mean? That 10 million makes such a difference to other people. And it's like nobody's saying you can't be and you can't make a ton of money and you can't do any of that shit. But it's like just also let's fucking take care of the people that... Because that money comes from somewhere. That's what pissed me off. It's like Amazon made so much money during the pandemic. I know. And it's like- They don't pay taxes, right? That was people's money, dude. That was like people. Yeah, exactly. Businesses figure out a way to never pay any fucking taxes. And you have to be so rich to figure that shit out. And it's like the people that get squeezed the most are in the middle. It's classic stuff.

It's people who work hard as fuck, but don't you have a family, your taxes are fucking crazy. You're a small business owner, your taxes are fucking crazy. But if you make 40 million dollars, somehow you don't pay any taxes. You know what I mean?

There's a lot of ways for people to hide stuff. It's definitely tricky. And then the lie that our tax money that it's not like the foreign aid thing. I think at a certain point it's like, Oh, totally. How you can fucking walk out of your house and want to contribute to America. You can only burn people so much before they're like, You know what, man? You win. Fine. I don't mean anything.

Right.

No, I agree. You can only do that so much in so many generations. People see it happen to their parents. They see it. It's like we never protected America's information. That's another thing. It's like people's information just became backhanded deals and bullshit. Everybody's mother's getting fucking scammed or loseand it's like your phone number is even protected. I get numbers from some dude, some Argentinean guy all the time telling me to fucking vote for him. I don't live in his country. I don't live in his country, and I can't understand half of what he's saying.

But this fucking- Sounds hot. Yeah. -south of.

The border. It's just basic stuff, man.

Yeah, no, I agree. And the information thing is really interesting, too, because it's like talking about how big tech controls everything. It's like, why don't those motherfuckers pay us for our information? They have just taken people, basically, they're using us as free lab rats for all their shit. It's like, why doesn't Google just pay everybody $4,000 a month? Why not? They're making way more than that off every fucking human being. Why the fuck can't they provide? Pay us for the fucking work we're doing for you. And it's like, no one... And it's like, yeah, look, I'm at the point where you're going to steal my information. But instead of just opting in and that's that, it's like, Well, fucking pay me for it. You know what I mean? It's a great point. Pay us. If this is our world and you're using us to fucking test all your shit and you're using us to do all this shit, pay people for that shit. And it's like, I don't know, maybe universal basic income, that's something that's interesting. It's like if AI gets really crazy, it's like, Well, let's have people have all their bases covered.

And then, hey, if they want with that basic income to just hang out all day, be poor, but have all their needs met and just paint and draw and do whatever the fuck you want, it's just fucked up that AI now, they're like, How did fucking computers become the thing and machines became the thing that does art? And humans are the ones in fucking Amazon warehouses. Shouldn't the robots be working so we could paint? Why the fuck do you type like, Superman with tits and blonde hair into a computer and the computer does it. And then it's like, But some guy is putting a 16 hours shift for no fucking money. Why aren't the robots the fucking slaves? How are humans the fucking slaves? We should have lives of leisure with AI. It should be the coolest thing of all time, but.

That's not how it happens. We need to get some Albanian robots. We need.

To get some of them that don't know. Yeah, you want them to be Albanian because they're not going to get smart like Skynet. They know their place.

Dude, it's... You see that ChatGPT, they just fired or the CEO, they did this whole Facebook backhanded thing where some of them voted like the Sam Alton guy got voted out by his partners. Oh, okay. It was like some Yiddish Melee. In the middle of the night, they all fucking voted each other out of the shit.

Yiddish.

Melee. Interesting.

I don't follow that shit too, too clear. Chatgpt should tune too closely.

But yeah, that was the first one, ChatGPT Maker, OpenAI, Fires founder, Sam Altman, pushed out its co-founder and CEO Sam Altman, after a review found he was not consistently candid in his communications with the board of directors.

What was he lying about?

I wonder. I don't know. They don't get into that, it doesn't seem like.

Yeah, who knows? There's a hit twins here, co-founder, OpenAI, about eight years ago with a handful of others. The idea was to create a nonprofit. Huh? Yeah.

As you know, while ChatGPT became one of the most viral tech products in scroll.

This is a transcript of a podcast.

Oh, it is? Never mind.

Yes, it's too much. But they.

Voted him out. A girl came in, and now to pull up a picture of these guys of the ChatGPT group, the pounders. Yeah.

Yeah, let's see. I bet they're hot as shit.

No. He's not that bad. He's not as.

Bad looking as-No, he's a handsome guy. Sam Alman is a pretty handsome guy. But there's a group of four of them, if you can see more.

His eyes, I don't trust his eyes. They're sad enough in a way that looks like he wants revenge.

Yeah, he's not doing well. Oh, there they are right there.

Oh, man. My man's mid-air transplant.

Oh, zoom in on them.

What.

The fuck is going on there? Zoom in on those dudes. Scoot over. So Sam Alman is the guy in the back, right? Yeah. They, in the middle of the night, the guy in... They voted him out, I believe, and the guy in the middle.

The other guy was like, Only one bald guy is allowed. Only one guy with fucked up hair.

Then the guy who ended up fucking them all somehow, I think, is the guy in the bottom right. Damn.

I mean, if you're hairlines like that, you're a menace. You want to take back what the world took from you, which is that weird little fuzz top he's got.

Oh, yeah, dude.

Who's the piece of ass?

I don't know if she is pretty there.

She's dressed like Elizabeth Holmes, which you wouldn't want to do if you're a tech person, right? Remember that?

Oh, yeah, the blood girl? Hey, this blood. Put your blood in this Xerox machine. And it'll literally print out what your blood type is. Literally, people were dripping their blood into a glass Xerox machine, putting the lid down, and it would print out if you needed vitamin D or not.

That's how fucking stupid people are.

This dude needs hat GPT, dude. I'm going to go ahead and say that. What's that dude's name? Fuck all these creeps.

Amen.

Brother. Because at a certain point, people are just ruining society. At a certain point, why isn't there a politician that's like, Hey, this shit that we're doing is ruining America. Why don't we get to vote like, Hey, this shit's ruining society. We don't even feel like a person anymore. You feel like a victim to your phone. There feels like there's no use to you anymore. You're literally killing the spirits of people over time, right?

I totally agree. And it's like...

And not to sound like a downer. I love life. I'm grateful to be alive. Absolutely. But I just feel like there's more to our lives, and it can be a richer experience if we don't let it get sucked away by just by technology. I don't know how you do it, but I bet people would vote to say, Yeah, I agree with you.

I think they would in the abstract, because I'm with you fully. I have this discussion with my friends all the time because I have friends who make good points. They're like, look, this is just how society is. Constantly technology is fucking, at least in our lifetime, since the Industrial Revolution, it's like every fucking 30 years, shit gets crazy, right? And I don't think it's natural, obviously, but a lot of the shit we do is not natural, right? We're fucking podcasting right now. You know what I mean? They didn't have this. Man was not meant to podcast. You know what I mean? And so on one hand, I'm like, Well, look, technology is always going to expand. People are always going to relate in different ways. But I do think that we are getting to a point where it's like, this is getting so unnatural where it's like, I think we and the only solution, though, is to take a really active step and say, I'm off my phone this amount of time, or regulate your phone use, because people agree with us, I think. But then they're like, They're not going to stop looking at TikTok.

Right. How can we do it? You know what I mean? It's almost like we are waking up and realizing, fuck, I got to go to rehab. But it's like the entire world is fucking- Needs to go to rehab. Exactly. It runs on these systems, and it doesn't feel like it's going to go away at any point. And I think the only... It's almost like a privileged thing. Look, me and you could fucking go take two months in a cabin and not be on our phones. We'd be okay. We can fucking hire. I literally hire somebody to post on Instagram for me because I don't want to be on it, right? Oh, yeah. Because I would fucking go crazy if I was. But a lot of people don't just... We've backed people in the corner where it's like so much of life happens online- They don't have a choice now. -that it's like, What the fuck are they really going to do? You know.

What I mean? I wish it would be one of my favorite times as a child, our family wasn't real close, and one of my favorite times was sometimes the power would go out.

Yeah, do you get the candles out?

-play Monopoly? -so we had to get the candles out, and we'd all have to get together in the same room. And we.

Hated each other.

But for that four to 40 hours, because we're in the poor area, you get power last. Absolutely. I mean, we would go to school, still hadn't had power. Other people had power. There were rich kids showing up with pictures of power that they'd.

Throw in at their house. Yeah, they have a little electricity. Oh, extra. Static shock in you? Yeah. We got extra, bitch.

A lunchbox is just a couple of watts in it.

They're eating light. You see you go down their throat, their fucking stomach glows. I bet you wish this was powering your grandma's pacemaker, huh, pussy.

But that was the nicest time in a way because you needed each other. If I wanted to walk to the other part of the house, I needed my brother to go with you. There was just so much connection. And I wonder if you could just say, Hey, on Sunday.

I.

Think, yeah. It's off. We shut it down.

But that's the thing that's never going to be worldwide. It's something people have to do for themselves. It's something people have to just take an active role in their personal lives. And it's swimming upstream from society, which is like, use your phone, do all this shit, pay with a fucking QR code, all this shit. It's crazy. And when I'm done the tour and I'm doing a bunch of podcasts, I'm trying to promote the special, but I'm taking a couple of months off and just not doing stand-up at all, just not doing shit. Just truly chilling. I'm getting a fucking flip phone, dude. I'm going flip mode. I did that a couple of years ago for two weeks, and I just cleared my head in a crazy way where it was like, no phones before. I would literally check my phone for one hour, and I would not check it for a couple of hours until I woke up. I would read a book. Because your brain is like, Let me check my fucking... Let me check my shit. You know what I mean? You're just.

Wired that way. Your brain is.

Totally, absolutely. It really is trying to betray you. Your brain is trying to fucking get you, dude. It's like, Who's paying attention to me?

You know what I mean? Well, that's a scary part, too, about the ego. Having an ego is so scary because that thing is growing while you're not even noticing you. That thing is planning. It's plotting against you in a weird way. It helps you in the beginning, but then it plots.

Against you. Oh, and that's a whole other fucking can of worms, right? That's a whole other thing you have to take care of. But it's hard and it's a different problem. But yeah, dude, reading a fucking book and not going for a walk and just truly. But, dude, the amount of effort that took, I planned it. I told people. I was like, I will not be available constantly. Text this fucking number you don't know because it's my fucking burner. That's the only way to get a hold of me. Only contact me if something is fucking serious. And it's like you have to almost plan for it. You can't just slip into fucking being a regular human being.

Yeah, it takes an effort. It's true. And you have to want it. And part of you can easily be like, You know what? I don't want it. I just want to stay here and be stuck in this.

Hamster wheel. Joey Pantoliano in The Matrix. You want to eat the fucking steak, dude.

You know what I mean? You know what he did? Was it Italian?

He's the guy who betrays them.

Oh, there's Italians? It's in the AI?

Yeah. You should have known. It's in the code. You know not to.

Believe them. There's a bunch of Italians in the code.

Now you're.

Definitely out. I don't know. I think people are... I don't know. I'm going to need to get a little bit more land to separate myself from...

A moat. You're going to get a moat.

I got close neighbors, too.

You just get a moat with black teens playing innocently. That would keep Italians away.

Black teens playing innocent?

Yeah, just riding their bikes. Not up to anything illegal, but Italians would see that and be like, I got to get away from here. Hey, this neighborhood is not what it used to. It's just like black kids drawing with chalk, having a nice Sunday. They're like, Jesus. Just fucking Christ. What happened here? We used to beat each other over gambling debts at this playground. Now these fucking kids are playing checkers. Yeah, now.

We got a couple of black Taylor Swift fans out here. That's when you know the world's getting crazy. There's those black Taylor Swift.

Fans, dude. I know.

They just had a blackface occurrence. Where was it? Can you bring that up, brother? Wow. Somebody else tried it.

They tried to pass Halloween. Yeah. A November blackface is a very interesting move.

Yeah, this is the offseason.

Absolutely, dude. Come on.

A middle schooler who went to a football game at my former high school has been suspended for wearing blackface. I was in attendance to this game, which took place on October 13th. The student attends Murelands, which is right next to the high school. Can we see a video or picture? Let me see. Oh, okay. There he is right there.

I mean, is that Blackface, though, or is that just...

Emulated the style of eye black worn by many athletes. Yeah, the dude, I think he's just a shitty -That's not Blackface. He's just a shitty painter.

That's crazy. Yeah. Either he's a bad racist also. Yeah. He could just be that. Yeah, he's definitely a shitty painter. But it's like, did he mean to do Blackface or did he mean to do Eye Black? We don't know he's that bad at painting.

Yeah.

I mean, that's crazy.

I think, yeah. And he didn't even do his forehead. I think you could call him mixed. You could say the guy -I think.

That if that works. It's not percentages.

You could say the guy did the... The guy's out here, Ben Simmonsing.

He's naturally pretty Ben Simmons, though. Yeah. He looks like Ben. He looks like Ben, a young Ben Simmons.

Yeah, definitely. Look, so that, I think, is fair. You can't say this dude is fully blackface. No, it's not blackface. I think at this point in society, you should be able to do half blackface.

You think you should do a nice mocha?

Well, people are mixed. Yeah. What if you're a Honey Badger fan?

Well, I don't think you should do... I don't think you need to paint his skin color to show that you're a fan of maybe just his jersey would be fine.

Yeah, you could do just his jersey. But I think if you really want to freaking get in there.

Okay. Getting the game..

Yeah, get in the game. It's in the game.

Okay, this is interesting. If you want to do blackface, you have to prove that you are a hardcore fan of the Black person that you're doing the blackface of. Okay. That's fair. You can't be doing... It has to be a true, has to be a true homage. You have to pass a driving test. But it's like, what college did Taremathow go to? How many interceptions did he have in 2012? You know what I mean? And if you ace that, then you get to go to fucking Sephora, matches, get a foundation that matches his fucking skin completely.

And then you got to-They should have that Sephora m*c* section.

Sephora for the modern racist. They're not all coal black.

Yeah, let's be realistic.

Let's be realistic. They're half white. Just because we're racist doesn't mean we can't have some artistic integrity.

It's funny, too, because I think.

Some guys wouldn't care. No one's lips are that red. Get the real lip color.

I think some people wouldn't care. I think we're probably one generation away from probably people being able to dress like their favorite if there's an athlete that's black. I think we're also probably two generations away from everybody being mixed. Yeah, I.

Think so. I think we're getting there. I personally don't want... I would love to have, like every one of my family is white.

Yeah, get you something.

Let's mix it up a little bit. Oh, yeah. Now look, I fall in love with a white woman. I fall in love with a white woman. What are you going to do? But why not get a little something going? Also adoption. I feel like more people should adopt if only because why do you want your genes out there? I'm a fucking idiot. My family's dumb as shit. We should end this. An adopted kid is like taking a fucking lottery ticket, dude. It's a scratch off.

Yeah, but some of them will kill you in your sleep if they're from Russia.

Yeah, well, that's what scratch off. Sometimes you get fucked, but sometimes it's like, oh, Asian girl thatdidn't want this to affect her going to grad school. But then you scratch off. It was like, oh, Methods who tried to sell the baby.

I'm.

Like, Damn.

Fuck. This is tough. I knew I shouldn't have bought that from that gas station. The pump set out of service, I should.

Have known. I had a friend who did have a Russian or maybe he was like, Lithuanian adopted brother, didn't kill anybody, but had a hammer on him. Oh, wow, really? And it really affected my friend because he was like, This is my brother. But man, because he doesn't have, he's not saddled with our little dick jeans. He has those big fucking, nice fat Lithuanian.

Cock jeans. Oh, yeah. Predict to make it all the way across.

The ocean. He wrote on it. It was buoyant enough to.

Support him. That thing's got to be, yeah. That's like the life of pot. You got to be able to travel.

Yeah, it's the tiger. It's attacking people in the boat.

What other news did we get, man? What else happened? Been letters letter to US, Stuns, Young Americans. Oh, yeah, this was on TikTok. Oh, wait, first on TikTok, can you see the blackface charcoal guy? Can we look that up? Just YouTube, just cool.

More blackface? There must have been some blackface in.

When you were growing up. Charcoal guy does blackface. Head in bag. Do that. Blackface, charcoal guy, head in bag. Cool guy.

As long as you don't talk in a different voice, I think you're good with the charcoal mask.

Yeah, if you start, yeah. You can't do a voice. There he is right there. Guy puts a bag with a barbecue, charcoal on his head. Let's see if this is blackface or not. Interesting. Russia.

This is in Russia. Russia.

Okay, I guess this guy is a GUAR fan.

Oh, damn. That's an even coat. God damn. Wow. Why did he do that? Because it doesn't feel like he's being racist. It feels like he's being weird and Russian.

Yes. See, that's interesting.

That is interesting.

If he'd have put on a James Harden jersey and kept switching teams, then yeah.

Something tells me he wouldn't pass our test. He wouldn't know which year's Harden won MVP. Shout out to Harden, by the way.

Really? I love it, dude. Did you see that thing that the guy.

Did the other day? Yeah, he went off on it. But here's what I'll say. That guy, that is the most I've ever connected to an athlete because it's like, Yeah, fuck working hard, dude. Go get fat as shit and still get what you want. That's awesome. He's not going to win a championship. Jordan, I cannot relate to Michael Jordan at all. Being obsessed with your fucking job, like a fucking nerd, wanting to be the best in the world, not having a relationship with your kids. Harden is living life, dude. And if you're thinking about the guy you want. He's always won everything. He's gotten to play with all his friends. When he moved to the Nets and it was like, I just want to hang out with KD again, that's the most like, Yeah, dude, you're past your Prime. You won your MVPs.

They did video games a lot, I heard. Right?

Yeah, dude, they got drafted. They were in OKC together, and they were like, Fuck it, we're going back there. And they played with Russ again. And it was like, I relate to being in your 30s and just wanted to hang out with your boys when you were 20.

That's a great point, man. That's a great point, Steph.

Because we judge these athletes on like they have to be these fucking serial killers that care about anything but championships. Like, no, Harden has made $300 million, $400 million. Look, is he going to championship? Probably not. He's got two MVP, I think two MVPs. And yes, he falls apart in the playoffs. But okay, he's still better than 99 % of human beings that have ever played basketball. And he made $400 million. He never had to work that hard. He quit. Yeah. Oh, he didn't show up in the playoffs. Yeah, dude. You know what happens when it's Thanksgiving week? I don't fucking answer emails. I'm like James Harden. My boss calls me at 11:00 PM. It's going on mute. I'm not answering. Oh, the office is on fire. I don't give a fuck. I'm off the clock, brother. This is overtime. I'm here, but I'm not going to work hard. That's why he's getting fat. He's spending all his money getting pussy. I love it, dude.

Bro, that is excellent, man. You're right, dude. James Harden, you're doing it. He's the man.

He's American. That's the most American shit of all time. Like, all right, if I try really hard, I still might not win a championship. So why not not try that hard at all and have a sick life?

Yes.

That's why I fucked with Shaq, too. Shaq, fuck it, dude. Shaq could have won way more championships, but he got... You see when he was at LSU? He's like a skinny guy. Oh, yeah. And he's just like, I'm just going to keep getting fat as fuck. Yeah, you might as well. I'm going to do Shazam in the offseason. I'm going to do... I'm going to rap. I'm going to get fat. I'm going to fucking buy Burger Kings and shit like that. And even today to this day, Shaq's on TV, dude, talking about basketball, clearly does not watch the games. Just like that has no fucking idea what's.

Going on. Yeah, Icy Hot.

The insurance. He's just constantly doing.

Commercials, dude. Yeah, he'll sell something dangerous and then the insurance write after it. Yeah. Like, get the new Shaq artery kit. You got a neighbor that's out of line. He'll just grab a ball off a rim, not anymore.

Nothing to do with artery. That was Shaq arrows. Shaq's arrows.

Yeah, and then the next one was like, Oh, is somebody shooting at your house? Get the insurance.

It's.

Perfect. Yeah, you need the guardian or whatever it is, that little fucking.

Insurance.

Guy. Oh, yes, the general. Yeah, put Icy Hot on your grandmother and get the general.

But yeah, I respect athletes that are just like, This is my job. It rules. I'm going to have the best time in the fucking world, and I'm not going to be Jordan. Dude, look at the fucking Last Dance. Jordan is sad. His eyes are fucking yellow, yellower than that 24 right there. You know what I mean? He's drunk as fuck. He put everything in those years. And yeah, he was the man, right? And of course, Michael Jordan is the fucking man. I respect him. But it's like, you'd rather be a guy who is a choke artist in the playoffs but made millions of fucking dollars. And by the way, Harden had some good games against the Celtics when he was on the Sixers. He had a couple of bangers. But still, I would rather just be a guy who's awesome as shit and never wins but has no stress versus a guy who's lives and dies. You hear Larry Bird talk about championships? He's like, It just doesn't feel disappointing when you win. And when you lose, you want to kill yourself. It's like that crazy. And it's like, That's a fucking serial killer. And yeah, he's awesome, but I don't want that shit, dude.

I want to have a good ass time.

It's a great point, man. I think it's just an overall good point about how we get caught up in having to be the champion and how unrealistic it is that everybody's going to be the champion. Totally. And to recognize, do I really want to do all it's going to do to possibly be the champion? And then what are you realistically left with? Like, yes, there's some recognition to it, but is that worth the things you might sacrifice along the way? Yeah, totally. And just because your job doesn't mean to be the champion, you show up, do a good job and have fun.

Have fun, entertain people. You know what I mean? Yeah. Awesome.

That's great, man. I really appreciate you thinking about that. Yeah, of course, dude. Yeah, it's true. It's like because you get on this invisible... It's almost like instead of walking, when you get to the airport sometimes in Minneapolis, which by the way, they've done a great job.

Great airport.

Great airport. You get there and you can go on that track or you can just walk. Are we talking about with the moving floor? Yes, of course. And you just get on that moving floor and you're not even really thinking about your steps. No.

But it does feel cool, I will say. It is nice. Sorry to muddy up the analogy. No, it's nice. But I feel fast as shit. You go on those and I even pick up the pace and I'm like, I'm fucking Superman.

I'm Bionic. Oh, you'll go fast? You'll walk on them? Oh, wow.

I love that. You feel so fast.

Yeah. Oh, you feel like you're in a threesome.

I feel like. No, that for me historically, that's nervous, blowing it, having the worst time in my life. I've had a nice one, but.

Most of them have been beautiful. Yeah? What city did you have a nice one in?

Chicago and one in New York. But yeah, I had some bad ones in a couple other places.

Oh, you've been in a multitude.

I've been in a couple, yeah. I ended my special with a... Did we talk about this last time? It feels like we did. I don't remember. Because I feel like you were in one.

I was in a unique one outside of Missouri.

Yes, we talked about it. We talked.

About it. Grateful that everybody made it out okay. To be honest.

But if you're crushing it, if you're crushing it in threesome, that's probably what that feels like.

Well, my thing was I didn't know one of the girls, so I was trying to small talk while I was hooking up with this other girl. It was like, Hey, where are you from? Do you have family? The whole thing was just ridiculous. What other news we got? Let's bring a little bit more up.

I think you just got to turn... I think you just got to turn that brain off, brother. You're right. When the dick is hard, the brain is off. That's, I think, how it.

Needs to be. That has been my number one problem. I remember when I used to be able to smoke weed, sometimes my erection, because my brain would shut off. Yes. And my erection, dude, it would be like, Oh, my God. It would be like somebody that had gotten to the top of a hill for the first time in its life.

Oh, my God. This view is unbelievable.

Yeah, it stayed up there. I was doing selfies.

Yeah, dude, I'm with you, too. That is always my problem, because when I actually like a girl, the first time I fuck her, I have been hard zero % of the time because I'm worried I'm going to blow it. But then if it's like, we both know the score, we're just here to bust, no problems dick-wise. And then again, if I break through and I've been dating somebody for a while and I trust all the anxiety of like, does this person like me? All this shit. When that truly goes away, not just intellectually, but I feel it's going away, my dick actually truly gets hard. Really? And then we broke. Literally, this happened to me where I dated somebody, and I felt like we finally got all that shit figured out. And my dick was getting harder than ever to the point where she was like, What's up with your dick? She was literally like, Something's different. Your dick is like, actually. She was mildly uncomfortable for the first time ever having sex with me. She was like, Your dick has gotten not small anymore. That was essentially not big. Not big, but not small.

-yeah. -and then literally we broke up. It felt good.

-it felt good. -it was feeling positive. Yeah. Man, Nia, I never try and work through that uncomfortable phase to see if there's a real phase on the other side. It's so hard for.

Me, man. It's scary for me, too. That's the only girl I've ever done it with. And I will tell you this. It took a while to get over that. But once it happened, it felt awesome. And I've been too busy the last couple of years. I don't know if you feel this way, but it's like on the road constantly and shooting a special and working on other projects. I don't even feel like a person. I barely see my friends. I barely see my family. You can't have a dating life because you're just not in a fucking city for longer than whatever. And so I'm really looking forward to focusing on that shit in the next year. I'm taking most of the next.

Year off. Wow, really?

Yeah. Good for you, man. I can't be... From the road, anyway. I'll do local shit. I'll work on my act. And I'm going to say you lose a lot of money doing that, but it's like, what do you have the money for? Yeah. But yeah, dude, I would say give it a whirl. It's worth it because I felt it was and it ended up we weren't right for each other for other reasons. But when your dick gets hard from love, and it's special. Oh, wow. You know, that's a special thing.

Yeah, I want that. I think you can have it. You're a wonderful guy. A girl would be lucky to have your truly hard dick anxiety free.

Oh, I can't even imagine that, really.

I know it is hard to imagine. When it happened to me, I was like, What's going on here?

No way. I can't imagine getting, like having natural... Just being... Yeah. Rehardation. Yeah.

I'm reharded. I'm a rehard.

Yeah.

Dude. The way you know you're in love when you fuck like a rehard.

Yeah, I do not. I am like a sniper. I literally have to get my weinerhard, run in there. I'm like.

A-go, go, go. You're getting the signal?

I'm like a Navy SEAL, dude. Shout out to my friend, Landtecker. But I had to get out. I would have to get erect, run in there, do the damage.

And then slip out.

I mean, before the gates even closed, I'd have to make it back out. I get.

That.

Man. Oh, man. What else? What other news we got? Botox, Oh, yeah. This guy is hilarious. This is just exactly where we are again as a society. George Santos. They said he spent 400,000 on OnlyFans. Again-of his.

Campaign funds. I got to say, respect. Because this guy is a fucking idiot. And he's like, that's the thing. This guy's a crook, right? Yeah. And he realistically was like, well, a sick way to be a crook is to be a representative. And he's just.

Fucking killing it, dude. Yeah, this happened more and more. He spent a honeymoon in Vegas. He did a Hampton. It's holidays.

Where is that? Being a job guy.

With Botox is awesome. At Hampton Inn, huh? That's not.

Very expensive. No, the Hamptons in fucking Long Island.

Oh, fuck that dude. I like Hampton Inn, bro. They redid them about 12 years ago. The Hampton Inns, they're great.

You're a Hampton.

Inn guy? I love them. Elevators are all the same. They have a little nice positive thing on it with a black kid on a rope swing or a white kid getting a lemonade from his grandma.

Yes. I was always a Holiday and Express Man when it came to the lower levels. I have not a Hampton Inn guy.

My top spender, she put up, well, here's his problem. He also put George Santos as his.

Screen name. Wait, what the fuck? That's a girl.

Right, but her top spender, she's saying she's an only fan's model.

But he's gay. Santos is gay.

Is he? Yeah. Well, he spent $435,000 attempting to not be gay.

What the fuck? Go to this girl's... Is she trans or something? Does she peg guys?

Yeah, let's see if she's transed up.

Or maybe she fucks guys. Wow. I mean, if she's trans, I'm sucking that thing.

No problem. If she's trans, dude, Red Rover, Red Rover. I'll be right-Six two.

I might have.

To-i'll be right over. Wow. What's her name? I mean, she seems like.

She has a-She might be trans, which again, no.

Problems here. Suag ass sex, huh?

Suag. Why don't we scroll down just a little bit? And George Santer, was looking at her? I thought that guy was gay as hell.

Yeah, he might not be gay anymore. I think for $435,000, you can make it out of anything. Yeah, that's true. Where I'm.

From anyway. That's a nice chunk. It's a nice chunk. You can stuff the condoms full of money just to keep your dick hard that way in a woman. Worst case scenario. Doesn't Santos also have a hot, also scammer sister? I think I saw somebody tweet about that.

Well, a lot of people are just making it to politics now, but it's funny because you don't want lifelong politicians, it feels like, because the system is so dirty. But then it's also like you get these just fly-by-night people like Fetterman. Right. Who I'm not saying is bad or good, but as long as he shows up like it's off day or whatever.

Yeah, he's got his fucking sweatshorts on. Me and him dress way too similar. Oh, that's a good point. Although he's not this dripped out, but on my travel days.

No, if you're dripping, he's a leek. Yeah. It's like he wears like champion athletics. Yes. Which a lot of I respect it. It's comfortable. There we go. Tiffany. He paid her rent. This lady.

That's his sister.

George Hender's sister. Tiffany paid rent since 2020.

Respect, another.

Scammer in the family. Yeah, so it's just that's a lot of what's going on.

Yeah, absolutely.

What else? What was that other story you had up? Oh, this was interesting. Bin Laden's letter to US Stuns young Americans. He was right. A decades old document allegedly written by Osama bin Laden, entitled Letter to America recently went viral on TikTok with some young Americans believing that the Al Qaeda founder made valid points about their own country.

I mean, I don't know this letter, but American imperialism definitely led to fucking terrorism. There's no way around. I mean, that's the thing. Innocent people shouldn't have died. No terrorism is fucked up in any way. But it's like you can't say that America didn't act fucked up. It doesn't to this day act fucked up in foreign countries. And we've been destabilizing the Middle East for you know what I mean?

Go back to that article, if you don't mind, please, brother. I just want to see a little bit more. Keep going down. It's wild and everyone should read it said one TikTok user warning that the letter had left her very disillusioned and confused. Bin Laden, the son of a wealthy Saudi businessman founded Al Qaeda or The Base in 1988 following the Soviet defeat and withdrawal from Afghanistan, a conflict in which he fought. I didn't know he was a fighter in that.

We fucking supplied them because they were fighting the Soviets.

We supplied them? Yeah. We supplied Osama.

Because it was a proxy war.

Yeah, absolutely. Under his leadership, the group launched several deadly attacks and bombings in various nations, including the attacks on September 11th, 2001.

The base is an interesting name for a terrorist group. Yeah. It's the base. You think they were fucking... You think they were fucking...

Terror, terror.

Terror, terror, death, death, death, death, death. Death to a money go. They do that cool yodeling shit.

The creation and continuation of Israel is one of the greatest crimes, you are the leaders of its criminals, Bin Laden wrote, Each and every person whose hands have become polluted and the contribution towards the crime must pay its price and pay for heavily. Oh, here it says, The Saudi born militant then wrote the Palestinians had to be revengeed along with the people of Afghanistan. So what he's saying is, and here it is, The American people are the ones who pay the taxes, which fund the planes that bomb us in Afghanistan. The tanks that strike and destroy our homes in Palestine. The armies which occupy our lands in the Arabian Gulf, and the fleets, which ensure the blockade of Iraq. This is why the American people cannot be innocent of all the crimes committed by the Americans and Jews.

Against us. We had to hit us with a jade, didn't you, Osama?

But so what is he saying here?

He's saying-I mean, he's basically.

Saying-that you can't just look at America's actions as no repercussions of them.

I think so. I mean, look, obviously, Osama bin Laden is off here, right? Obviously, I'm not aligned with Osama where he's basically like-No.

Neither one of us are.

He's basically like, Yeah, I know. I don't mean to be like you. No, no. I think he's saying that by just living in America, no one's innocent and you're able to fucking... I think that's how they're talking about terrorism and stuff like that. But I do think what he's saying, obviously, he's wrong about that shit, right? You shouldn't kill fucking innocent people at all. But I think he's saying that American imperialism is like people are going to be fucking pissed off about that. Yes, America has supplied Israel with tons of billions of dollars, and they need Israel. America needs Israel because it's a strategic base in the Middle East. It's the only ally that they have there. And we've all turned a blind eye to the situation in Gaza where it's like-.

Yeah.

It's unfortunate. They're completely... They don't have an independent government. They're under the rule of Israel, and each year it gets like a little... They take more and more of their land or whatever. I guess the whole point is like, yeah, America has been acting in a lot of fucked up ways that fucking a lot of people are pissed off about.

I think a lot of people don't know about either probably. Totally. Absolutely. Absolutely. You don't think sometimes that if you go and do something in a country, if you're forces, it's like you want to cheer your forces on because they're your team, right? They're the people that are keeping your country free. But if you kill people in Iraq because you're hunting Al Qaeda- Totally. -and you kill a ton of civilians, the children of those civilians and the brothers and fathers of those civilians are going to want to.

Repercuss that. Absolutely. They want revenge.

It makes sense.

It's a true empathy thing of like, think about if this is how you lived, if you're in Iraq, if you're in Afghanistan post-war, if you're in Gaza under occupation, you see your loved ones get fucking killed by a foreign country, a foreign country's army. And you're not, it's like the Kat Williams joke where it's like, What is the Iraq army uniform look like? I'll wait. We've never seen it. He's like, We're just killing motherfuckers. We're calling them insurgents. Dude, Kat has the best. That's the best Iraq war joke. That on the Pimp chronicles, it's the best Michael Jackson joke, and it's the best Iraq war joke, I think. But anyway, that's the thing. It's like, yeah, people are going to be fucking pissed off.

About that. Yeah, that's the same thing. I think that it's like, people you see like, you always hear like the Free Palestine movement. For me, it's like if a place when you hear the free thing, like free, that place usually needs help, right?

Yeah. That's a good.

Rule of thumb. You don't hear free America. You don't hear Free Israel.

You don't hear Free China.

Yeah, you don't hear Free South Carolina.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't hear Free Nevada.

No.

You hear Free Palestine. Man, it just gets heartbreaking.

Over there.

Without question. Yeah. Our news doesn't even cover it.

Fairly either. No, not at all. I mean, no one is for terrorists. And it's like when you point out that the people in Gaza have been under military occupation with not access to water, they have a ton of crazy shit. We're not even getting into what's happened now, which is like they're killing so many civilians. It's fucking out of control. It's insane. And the responses, I mean, it's like a moral crime what's happening. But we've ignored the context of that situation, which is like, Yeah, dude, think about exactly what you said. It's like, think about what would happen if Americans were put under that. That's the whole point, right? I mean, especially if you're like a second... The guys who always talk about, I have a gun in case the government were to fucking... That's happening to those people. They have no right. They're like, it's crazy the situation over there. Right now it's like hospitals are getting bombed.

If your army is such a talented army as Israel has, why don't they send guys, people, go in, especially if you already control the area. You're telling me you can't... I would rather have our Navy Seals go in and do the job in an effective manner, efficient.

I know. There's no way...

That's the thing. -against the terrorist people.

-right. The people who.

Did it. Then fucking block. It just seems like not only cruel, but the dumbest fucking thing.

Well, it's like, especially for people that have lived through Iraq, we lived through that shit. This country did. There was obviously a protest, but we basically were like, All right, we're taking you. Okay, I guess. And then it was complete bullshit. They had no fucking -.

They had no weapons. They had no nukes.

They didn't have a water gun. Yeah, Saddam's fucking sons were too busy buying golden fucking whips to hit their fucking slaves with. They were buying tigers and shit to eat curds. Yes, they were horrible people, but they didn't have fucking nukes.

This is his son right here. He's a goth son. He's actually going to be in...

It looks like an older woman, which is hot.

Wow. It looks just like his father.

Yeah, dude, that is funny to be goth, Osama.

Yeah, dude, it's like, what's a good goth fan that starts with L?

Lamb of God is not goth.

Or like heavy metal?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking of a lot of Ms. Megadeth, Metallica. Jeez, I'm really blowing it.

Iron Age. I was just trying to think of a good playing words.

Sorry.

Man. I'm sorry, I was trying to.

Think again. We're both check-swinging. We're like, We'll take another pitch. We're going to pass on that riff.

I wonder if it'd be interesting to talk with that guy.

Oh, are you kidding me? It would be fucking fascinating.

I bet that would be fascinating. Well, I would love to talk with that guy and just see what his, because he's just a son. I can't even imagine what his life is like.

I mean, he had a ton of kids. Kids, Bin Laden. He did? I mean, they were rich as fuck. And I believe culturally, it's like you just have a ton of fucking kids if you have that much. I mean, his paintings suck dick.

I would buy that probably.

That's not bad, I guess, if your fucking nephew did it.

But also, you don't end up painting a cave, dude.

I think he's in America.

We don't know if he is. I don't.

Know, bro. Who knows? Painting by fucking lamp light?

Yeah, dude, if you're painting by lighter, though.

When SEAL team got him, he was in a McMansion in Pakistan, wasn't he?

Where was he at? There's a lot of rumor that the guy who said that they say shot him didn't shoot him.

Is he still out there? Or they.

Were just-No, he's deceased. Got you.

Because.

Then they throw his body-But the guy that did it, or claims to have done it, I've just heard that there's rumors that that's.

Not this right thing. Oh, yeah, because there was one guy who's on podcast all the time.

Yeah, Michael O'Brien, I think is his name.

It does.

Feel like-I read the book. The book's amazing. Okay. His book, and he's a neat guy. I've met him. But people say that. Who knows? Yeah. But I think there's this or maybe there's just a thing. It also could be, Oh, Robert O'Neal. That you're not supposed to say what happened if you did it. I think that's the code of conduct, apparently.

It feels a little like act like you've been there before. Don't do a dance like a wide receiver. Hand the ball to the ref. Don't kill the next fucking terrorist. You know what Imean?

There's a lot of rumors like that. Which I get. But yeah, that stuff is heartbreaking. I want to have some people on that know more about maybe.

That stuff. Yeah, I'm too stupid. But yes, absolutely.

It feels like you have to do something. Because if you're the power too, you are the one that has to figure it out. The other entity that it's not as powerful or doesn't have any powers or only limited powers. There's no way for them to figure it.

Yeah, you definitely should have somebody on who knows more about it. But it's like the history is crazy because it's like, yeah, not only do they have... It's like they... The people there, they've tried for two state solutions in the past, but nobody wants to talk about how Israel didn't want that. Anyone who is trying to have a peaceful thing, they assassinated a lot of peaceful leaders. And there's even like they helped fund Hamas because I believe they wanted the PLO again. But it's just the thing where this thing is so fucked up what's been going on for 50 plus years in Gaza. And it's not that I don't understand why Israel is... I understand why Jews are a little on edge. I get it. There's so much anti-Semitism in the world, but it's like that does not-.

Do you think there is?

In the world? Yeah, I do think there's generally anti-Jewish sentiments, but I also.

Think- Oh, yeah, there.

Probably is. But I also think like that doesn't... We're not talking about Jewish people. We're talking about the state. We're talking about a state government.

We're.

Talking about Israel. We're talking about... Yeah, exactly, government. And it's like those aren't the same thing. And a government that has people that are extremists in it is different than.

You know. Well, that Net and Yahoo guy seems, he just seems, he gives me the creep.

Yeah, I mean, they have people in the government that are just like, we should exterminate them. They're just straight up saying crazy racist shit. And people also need to know that shit, too.

Especially if you were a group that somebody has already said that to. But maybe that's like the thing where if somebody says something to somebody, like hate creates hate. I don't know. I don't know how that stuff gets stuck in people's DNA and stuff like that. I know. But yeah, just I don't know. That shit is fucking.

Heartbreaking now. It's completely fucked.

And now there's too much visibility now where we are with social media and everything for people not to see what's.

Going on. I do think, and I also think there's a generation of people that for younger people, it's like they're just seeing what's going on right now. You know what I mean? They're just like, This is fucked up. You can have the reasons you're doing this, but we're 19. We're living through this moment right now, and we can't believe what the fuck.

We're seeing. Right, and they don't look at the history of stuff because they don't really have a long history in their lives yet. So history is not a part of things. To them, it's like, What's happening right now? How does it look right now? That's the way society is now. How does this look.

Right now? But it's also I do think obviously you should know proper context and you should do your research. But I also do think there is something to that idea of like it's also free of a lot of thinking where it's like, Oh, yeah, we're just taking these at face value. We're just seeing this and this is not acceptable to us. But who knows? Obviously, I'm not the guest for super in-depth shit like that. But yeah, what's.

Going on is like... Yeah, you're like a Gorgandola judge.

Yeah, bring in some aged cheeses. Bring in a fucking rib. Bring in a rib. I'll tell you which was good.

Four rib eyes. I'll slurp a bowl of breed on them.

What are we having for dinner, by the way? What are we going to get in between before the show, man? That's hilarious. That's what we got to be talking. That's what we got to be thinking about. Listen, let's keep potting, but in the back of your head, you think about dinner, brother.

What could I go for? A Porter house?

Doesn't sound too bad. Don't sound too bad to me, brother.

-dank,ank,ank. Cordale Stewart blew a guy at Shinley Park over there and then the fruit loop.

-shut up, Cordale.

-pittsburg is fucking unreal.

Yeah, I mean, that white trash is everywhere. Baltimore talks like that too.

Baltimore does, too.

Baltimore, Philly.

It's a little different.

Oh, my God. What the hell are you talking about, you? Here's what I say about Israel, power sign. Let them fight it out. Arabs versus Jews. Who gives a shit? That's what those guys think. Put it over there, Joe, make it a Ravens country. Put a statue of Joe Flacko up there. We will annex Israel for Baltimore. Start serving crab cakes out.

Of Baltimore. Ray Lewis was a Jew. They'll start saying.

All kinds of shit. Oh, yeah. Matt Stover, he was Jewish. We should get the country. That should be for the Ravens.

I know I feel bad for my Jewish friends, too, that are like, Fuck, why are we getting if they're getting flat from people because their country, because they're like... Or because they're.

The country. Yeah, well, you should. Absolutely. It's ridiculous to blame Jewish people, right? It's not. And that's why I said, I don't want... But you don't want antisemptom to get worse because of this, obviously. You don't want this. Really, we need... You got to fucking stop bombing the place immediately. You got to have a ceasefire. It's fucking crazy not to do that. And then it's like, can we actually try and have real fucking productive peace talks? Could something good happen out of this?

I don't know. Why can't we step in and try to help? We're the ones that are America is part of the group and Britain that helped.

Create it, right? Yeah, it was a British colony before. And then they were like, All right, we feel bad about you just take this, essentially.

You can't raff the first quarter and then fucking...

All right, boys, call your own fouls. Yeah.

But one team owns all the balls.

Yeah, one team's got all the whistles.

That's perfect, dude. That's why you're great, man, because whistlesles was.

The right joke. Yeah, it's all right, man. That's all right.

Whistles.

Was the right joke.

Stavi, anything else you want to think about, man? I think we've talked a lot, huh?

Yeah, I'm good, bro. I mean, we could go. This is the easiest podcast in the world. We could do this for fucking 10 hours. We've got a show tonight. I'm trying to.

Think if there was anything else that we wanted to learn. We got The Special.

Is out.

People can watch it. It comes out.

December fifth. December fifth on Netflix.

I'll make sure to post on my socials too on that day, man. I'm sure people are going to be excited to see it. I just watched Trevor Wallace's new special. I thought it was really cool.

I haven't seen it.

Where's it on? It's on, I want to say Amazon maybe. Oh, sick. Hulu. But it was just cool. Trevor is a hard worker man, that kid. He's a great dude, and I love just his whole thing. It's so ridiculous.

They do a podcast where it's just to talk to porn stars because I really respect that.

I think they have them on sometimes. They're still jerking off a lot.

I respect that from a philosophical standpoint. You know who's the king of that? Is that guy, Glennie?

Oh, Glennie Balls.

I got to meet that guy because I feel like that's a path my life could have gone down. He just has a show with the express purpose of trying to fuck porn stars. He's the man.

All of Buffalo Chedder before you come.

Yeah, that's the best part. I've seen a couple of clips. He is not good at interviewing. And these girls also are not the fucking most talented orators, so it's not compelling content. It exists solely for Glennie Balls to get his dick sucked. And honestly, salute.

Yeah, dude. Welcome to America, Glennie.

Just like James Harden, respect.

Yeah, you're.

The James Harden of the industry. Just having a good.

Time, dude. Glennie is hilarious, dude. Glennie is the most lovable. If you see him, he's literally like... He's like a French Bulldog. Love it, dude. But that had a lot of croissants. Absolutely.

Soft. Definitely. A fluffy old.

French Bulldog. Oh, he's got some flake coming off. No. I respect that.

Yeah, I don't know the guy personally.

Oh, yeah, he's great. But the show is he's like, Yeah, you like having tits in your bra? Oh, man.

I'd love to know his conversion rate on the podcast.

He says all the time, I don't try to have sex with these girls.

We're like, Well, if.

You don't, then what are you doing? Then you're an Albanian.

You're just a journalist. You try to get on 60 minutes. You think this is step one?

Bro, then you're just an Albanian.

Yeah, exactly. That is Albanian TV. It's like we find the biggest breast in the village, and we ask questions, and we see with Cameron Breast all the time. I did go to my Albanian friends' house one time as a child, and they had just gotten Albanian TV. Oh, it's beautiful. And it was like a variety show where it was like, Skits. And it's obviously all these, the comedies back 80 years there where it's like all the skits are like men dressed as women. You know what I mean? Just like that level shit. And then the DJ in between skits was someone called DJ Toplas. It was straight up. You're not going to believe this, Theo, a woman with her tits out on TV. What's on a Sunday afternoon? This woman just had her tits out spinning Euro trash music. It was fucking awesome.

See, that's the diversity we need in this country.

Absolutely. We got to get the titties out free the nipple for sure.

Free America, dude. That's right. Before it's too late. Before it's too late. We got to figure it out. We just got to keep communicating, too, and thinking as much as we can and making people laugh. You do a great job of that, Cyrus. Thank you, man. This is a highlight of my month.

Thank you, dude. Anytime. And dude, we got to get you on Stavi's World sometime.

Near New York. And where do you tape? In New York? New York. Okay, I'll come.

Do it this year. Hell yeah, dude.

I'll come do it this year, man. I'll do it next. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I got a couple of I owe you. That's a tough thing with Pods. It's like you get a few I owe and then you're doing your own and you start touring and you're out touring.

No, I get it. And maybe we can figure some shit out on the road, who knows? But anytime you want to fucking come on, dude, I'll do the show every week if you want me to. Oh, no.

Well, you're always welcome. But I owe you, man, so I'll come over there. Hell, yeah. Congratulations, dude. Thanks, Big Dog. It's exciting to see you manage this and just have an experience. And yeah, that James Harden.

Approach, I like it. Obviously, my favorite player is Giannis. He's the fucking man, and he's more of the like, I'm going to fucking work hard and I'm going to improve. And he's... But he's also got his family. There's different approaches to it. But at the end of the day, I just tip my hat to a man who fucking just says, Yeah, I'm not going to care about being that good at my job. I'm going to care about my life being better. And I'm going to be a little more hardened this year. I was a little too much like fucking Kobe last year.

Yeah, be a little more hardened on yourself. Yeah.

I'm going to be hardened and then I'm going to get reharded. I'm going to find a woman and get reharded. We really came up with a.

Great loophole. I can't wait to shut down my central nervous system and get an erection. Bro, that should be our national anthem. Fucking unreal. Absolutely. Yeah, I'ma Marshon Bowshamp fan, dude.

Oh, yeah.

Awesome, dude. Thank you so much, Stavi. And congrats again, brother.

Thanks, dude. Thanks for having me.

Peace. Alex Lagos. Congratulations too, on the baby. On the Albae.

Yeah, the Albaean. Now I'm just.

Floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I.

Must.

Be cornerstone.

But when I.

Reach.

That.

Ground.

I'll share this.

Piece of.

Mind I found. I can feel it.

In my bones. But it's going to take a.