Wundry+ subscribers can listen to Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show early and ad-free. Join Wundry+ in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. From Wundry and Dr. Suez, broadcasting all the way from Mount Crumpet Studios, boy, it stinks in here. Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show. This week you better call Saul. But don't be surprised if his kid picks up. It's Bob Odenkirk and his lovely daughter, Aaron Odenkirk. And as always, Max the Dog. And your host, he wants to get along not just because it's green like him, but because he wants to yell at kids to get off it. Here he is! The Rich! Hello, listeners. It's me, the mean one, the green one, fulfilling my obligation to the Hooverville community by hosting this very show, serving my sentence for stealing Christmas. Some say cruel and unusual punishment, but hey, what do you think? I'm getting good at this, right, C. L. Dubs?

Well, not exactly a large sample size, as this is only episode two.

Jeez, sorry I asked. Next time I want to feel instantly depressed, I'll come find you. Moving on. One thing you know about The Grinch is I hate Christmas, but I don't just hate Christmas. I hate all holidays. That's right, all of them. Hold onto your seats. Keep on your pants. The Grinch is going on one of his rants. You better believe it, buddy. I mean, Easter. We got a giant Bunny who, like Santa, breaks into your house, but then just leaves chocolate and jelly beans. What insane fever dream is Easter anyway? All the stuff with the eggs and then there's ham for some reason to go with the chocolate and jelly beans. I mean, get it together and even those little yellow, edible, sugar covered chicks. Easter is a pastel colored bellyache causing nightmare. But it doesn't end there. There are even sillier holidays on your calendar. Okay, you know the holidays, I mean those calendar creeps, those nasty, nonsensical, national ninkum-poop days. You got Arbor Day. I don't need to be reminded that trees exist. I mean, come on. Arbor Day. Go and plant a tree, get a seed for the tree, and plant the seed for the tree.

Yeah, and then wait around what? Twenty-five years for it to become a sapling? I don't have that time. No, thanks. Planting trees? Not my job. National Clam Chowder Day. Too regional. We're not eating clam chowder in Kansas. National no socks Day. That's every day for me, hon. National Hot tub Day, hard pass. Not a fan of who soup, okay? You look crazy, slowly boiling yourself. Take your dog to work day. Again, I do that every day, right, Max? There are as many pointless holidays to annoy me as there are days in the year. World Emoji Day. I don't even get that one. People text me emojis. They just show up as little squares. Corn on the Cobb Day. More like National How'd That End Up in my poop Day. World Elephant Day. National Salami Day, Talk like a pirate day. That one can't be real. And National French Toast Day. You know, I actually like that one. It's very pleasant to be dipped in egg and lightly fried, but the point is there are too many made-up holidays in the WHO holiday calendar. Okay, the WHO holiday calendar is gone completely off the rails. I bet down in Hooville they just eat them all up.

Oh, this is so fun. Oh, it's National Tuesday and Wednesday Day. Oh, I'm having fun making up holidays, making up excuses to close the bank. I bet they're down there right now celebrating some moronic, made-up, monstrosity-like national ketchup burp in your mouth day. Now, may I propose a holiday we can all get behind? How about National Nothing Day? A day where you don't have to post anything, say anything, do anything, and everything everyone keeps to themselves. I know just what to call it. National Grinch Day. I like the sound of that. But like I was saying, the grandaddy of all the dopey holidays the Super Bowl of Santa Insanity is approaching. Christmas, it always is. Like a grizzly bear chasing after a honey-covered salmon, it's coming for us pretty soon. And if you can't beat them, well, you got to keep trying to beat them. So that means it's time for me to break out my very own Grinch advent calendar. Okay, I'm just going to walk over here to my creation. I've gotten into woodworking recently. It's pretty fun for me. I'm really good at it. Any activity that doesn't involve other people, I'm there.

Oh, here she is. Oh, the sight of her. Look at her. She's made of four tons of cedar and particle board, a seven-foot-tall, wide, solid wood advent calendar. We have 10 door date boxes or calendar cubby holes or day holes. What should we call these things?

Advent portals?

Oh, advent portals. Sorry I asked. Anyway, we got 10 of them, one for each show until Christmas and the last show. We opened one, so we got, what is that? Nine left. And it's time to open the next one. Here we go. And it's a bushel of missile toe.

Oh, veryvery Christmasy of you, Mr.

Grinch. Did you know Mistletoe is a parasite? Okay, I spoke too soon. Listen to this description of Mistletoe from Hoapedia. Mistletoe attaches to their host tree or shrub by a structure called the Hostorium, through which they extract water and nutrients from the host plant. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yep, beloved Mistletoe is just a common water thief. People getting all kizzyfaced under a plant version of a vampire. Now, Cindy Lou, would you please stand under the Missletoe for me, if you would? And if you don't mind, take this here, a mannequin head with you.

Mr. Grinch, why do you have a mannequin head?

Don't worry about it. Just go ahead and pretend to kiss the mannequin on the cheek. Just pretend like it's an affectionate aunt or a casual friend from France.

Very weird, Mr. Grinch, but okay.

Ever wonder where all that moisture goes? With my special strain of Grinch, Missletoe, equipped with a motion sensor, whenever a kiss is about to happen, the Missletoe's vast water reserves gush right out over the kissers' unsuspecting heads! A ha ha ha! Ha ha! Genius, right? Okay, okay. Cindy, calm down. Here's a towel. Thanks.

I feel like that's the least.

You could do. It's just stolen pericyte water.

Get over it. Actually, Mr. Grinch, missile tow is considered a symbol of life because even when its host is leafless, it remains evergreen.

Oh, yeah, well, aren't you just a flood of useless information. Get it? A flood? Let's edit in a rimshot there, if we can. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. Okay, now, as you know, I may be the living embodiment of a sour fart, but I do like to have a good time. And that's just what we're going to do right now. When I prank call, who build businesses and citizens in a piece we're calling, feeling cranky. Feeling cranky. Gay. Kids, a prank call is one of the great lost arts. Now, I should explain. The way they make these smartphones nowadays, you can do so much with them. You probably didn't even realize this, get this. You can use them to make what's known as a phone call. This is a way to actually connect voice to voice with another human being. I know, sounds awful, right? And it is. But when you call a person or a business and they answer and you're doing a comedy bet on them and they don't realize it, it's glorious.

Okay, here we go. First victim. What I'm going to do is I'm going to call a pizzeria, and I'm going to ask them a bunch of annoying pizza questions and just get the guy all worked up. You kids are going to love this. Listen and learn. Here we go. How's a hoosa? What can I get them? Let me get one half pepperoni, one half sausage, and one half black olive. Okay, two pizzas? No, one. There's only two halfs per pizza. That's just mad, man. Not if you cut it into three. All right, buddy, let's start over. Start with one pizza. What do you want on it? Can I get my pizza upside down? Upside down? Man, what? That's where the crust is upside down and the cheese is upside down and the sauce is upside down. We just do regular pizzas at this place. Crust, sauce, cheese, all rice added up. You feel me? All right, just throw it all out and let's start over. How about this? I'll get a pizza and the topping will be fried rice. You want fried rice on a pizza? You're tripping. I only know one guy who eats like that who lives on top of literal Mount Crumpet.

Well, you're stupid. It's that easy. Wasn't my best one, but that one is a warm up. You know what? Let's try something different. Let's grab a number out of the phone book. A phone book, kids, was a big Lord of the Rings size book that just had everybody's name and everybody's phone number in it. It was a massive invasion of privacy, and we loved it. So many names. Oh, this one will be good. Joseph P. Prank. I'm already laughing. All right, dialing. Hello? Hi, is this Joseph P. Prank? Yes, this is Joseph P. Prank. Well, then I guess that makes this a prank call. Joseph P. Prank, I got you. You imbecile. Joseph Hi, this is Joseph P. Prank. What is it? A prank call? You should have seen your face. I can't see your face, but I bet it looks crazy. Are you still there? Well, that could have gone better. I mean, that's probably the best one so far. Isn't it fun wasting people's time? Okay, last but not least. I'm going to call a random family and try to get them to move to another part of town by posing as a real estate agent.

This will be great. Listen up. Hello? Hi, I'm Jeff, and I'm a real estate developer, and I have an offer for you that you simply cannot refuse. Oh, no, I'm not interested in that. Thank you. Just let me finish. I am offering to buy your home for 10 million hoobucks for you to move in the middle of the night to a beautiful new castle in the Mount Crumpet Foothills. How would that sound? I still have the mortgage in this place. There's no money down. There's zero % interest for 1,000 years. Plus, you get a movie theater, a Laser Tag Arena. You get your private-owned football team that has its own set of recliners that everyone can sit in. You'll be able to be the President of your own country and be able to command an entire army and bureaucratic force. We'll give you a Tesla and we'll give you a place to charge the Tesla. Sir, can I try, man? First of all, we're on the US dollar here in Hooverill. Yes, I understand. It's very stable, but-Okay, I don't know what Hoobucks are. Hoobucks are an emerging cryptocurrency that they say it's skyrocketing like crazy.

I'd get in now if I could. Okay, this is all very interesting, but it is not an investment for me. I don't believe a single word you've said. I'm starting to think this is a prank call from a local hool again. Sir, I am just a humble real estate developer contracted by the governor. By the way, what are the Mount Crumpet foot hills? Oh, the Mount Crumpet Foothills are the most beautiful, undeveloped area in Greater Hoover. Oh, it's by the dump. You want me to move into the dump? You're not interested in moving. You're not selling my house. Sir, if I could just- Now you got my wife upset. She's looking at me- Now, sir- -thinking we're about to lose our home and go live next door to that guy. Who? The Grinch? The Grinch. Exactly. That rolled off the tongue for you, Jeff. I got a weird feeling I'm talking to the Grinch right now. Well, then hold on. This is Jeff. Hey, honey, it's The Grinch. She's on the phone. I'm not The Grinch. I'm Jeff. Tell your wife I am offering zero % interest for 1,000 years on a beautiful, beautiful castle in the Matt Cropid, Foothills, which is the best neighborhood in the entire greater Hooville area.

Good day, sir. I'm hanging up, honey. What's with this phone? The screen's frozen. I can't hang up. I'm hanging up on you. I'm on you first. The screen's frozen. I hung up. We are hanging up. I'm hanging up, honey. Click, I hung up. I can't hear you anymore because the receiver has been placed in the cradle and I'm pressing end right now. Bye. And scene. That is how it's done. I just wasted that young man's time for so long and he even brought his wife into it and she was in the other room and she was like, Who are you talking to? And he was like, I'm still talking to him because I'm all wound up. And I hung up on him like 30 times. And that, folks, is how it's done.

Thank you, Mr. Grinch, for that wonderful tutorial. Now, if I could just redirect you to your cue card to introduce tonight's special guest, transitional music.

Here we go. My guests tonight are a father-daughter dynamic doom. Father is a comedy legend threw it all away, become a serious actor for some weird reason, which is like if all of a sudden I decided to become a small Santa, but now he's finally got his career back on track. Thanks to teaming up with his much more talented daughter, who beautifully illustrated their New York Times bestselling book of poetry, Zillet, and other important strides. Please welcome Bob and Aaron Norton-Karman.

Hi, Grinch. Hi. It's great to talk to you. Yes. What is your full name? Because Grinch seems like a nickname, and I don't want to be rude here or too familiar. No, you.

Can call me Grinch. That's fine. Call me Grinch. I prefer Grinch. Is Bob short for something?

Yeah, it's.

Short for Robert. Is Aaron short for something, Aaron? Is Aaron short for Aaronaudia?

No, it's not. They just stuck with the.

Four letters. You got some cookies in the oven or something? There's a lot of beeping going on. Yeah, well, it's.

Christmas time. I've got cookies in the oven all the time.

Check on the cookies. I don't know if you're familiar with my work, but I have had some run-ins with, for lack of a better word, the authorities of Hooverille over my interactions with Christmas, which tend to be of a negative nature. And so I have been court-ordered by a judge to do this interview show. So maybe you're familiar with some of my crimes?

I am, but Christmas cookies, let's just compartmentalize a little bit. You like sweets, you like desserts. Yeah. And what's better than a Christmas cookie at a variety? Like my grandma used.

To make them. You got to bury the lead, pal. I mean, if you're trying to hook me into the whole Christmas thing, which is not going to happen, hate to break into you. That's not going to happen.

Yeah, I.

Hear you. You had me at cookies. You lost me at Christmas.

I hear you. Let's leave it aside. Let's talk about other aspects of the holiday because the holiday is fast-approaching. Now that Thanksgiving is going to be.

Past us soon. Now Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving I can get down with.

Interesting. Aaron, do you agree with me here? Thanksgiving over Christmas. Wouldn'ty you say?

Well, there are no presents on Thanksgiving. I don't know if you clocked that.

Unless you count the cornucopia of root vegetables, which is, I mean, what kid doesn't love getting a bunch of root vegetables all at once? Raw ones coming out of a big, wicker basket. I mean, that's every child's dream. My kingdom for some gords. That's every child waking up on Thanksgiving morning.

Oh, this is great, but we can see that you do love some holidays. You love Thanksgiving.

Well, yeah, I didn't try to steal Thanksgiving. I applaud Thanksgiving. I'm a booster. I'm a turkey booster. I based and I boost.

Truthful.

Aaron, you brought up an interesting point that there are no presents. There's a present at the top of everybody's list this year, and that is your book, Sell It. And other important crimes. I'm looking at it now. It's a New York Times. Oh, New York Times. People read that one. Bestselling book of poetry. Now, is that Xylot or is it Zylet?

It's.

Neither. Zylot. Is it French?

It's not French. It's Zylet, as in fillet or spillet or skillet. It was just something my dad came up with. Well, it's something my brother came up with. He said, Let's build a zillet. My dad said, What's that? And he said, You know, the thing with the blanket and the pillows. And my dad was like, Oh, an indoor fort. And Nate was like, Yeah, a zillet. And that's how my dad decided to write the word. Some would argue that he's terribly wrong, but who cares?

That's English. He's terribly wrong about the spelling of zillet.

The spelling of the word we came.

Up with, yeah. Yes, the spelling of it. Yeah, because you're pronouncing it like it's Millet, which is like a... That's like a rice pudding that they eat in old Samurai movies.

Yeah, exactly.

Do you like old Samurai movies, Bob? Yeah. Yeah. Now I won't be celebrating Christmas, but a lot of other people are going to be celebrating Christmas, and they want to get gifts for their kids. I think the Zillet book sounds like a lot of fun. Aaron, working with your old man. That cannot be fun, Aaron. How awkward is that?

He is a little bit of a tyrant. He turned our living room and our bedrooms into a writer's room, into a workspace. I had no escape. What do you got for me? What do you got? Show me the drawings. You got four? You got five?

That is tyrannical. It sounds like Hollywood has really gone to his head here.

And his heart, frankly.

Do you have to go through his team just to talk to him now?

Well, often they have to go through me to talk to him. I get texts all the time being like, Hey, is Bob free? Where's Bob? Can we talk to Bob? What does Bob want?

I can't talk to myself anymore.

You got to set up a meeting, and it's like, Hi, it's Josh and Justin and Justin and Josh and Matt and Josh and Justin at one of the big three. We're setting up a call with Bob and Aaron. Yeah. Oh, by the way, Justin and Matt, and Josh are also on this call.

Oh, Gritch, come on. You have to have some pretty powerful representation yourself. I mean, you've shaken the world with your behaviors, and you've got a strong public presence. I mean, I don't know who your PR people are, but they obviously don't mind negative PR.

I met Gary, Gary and Josh and Justin and Matt for commercial.

You're new at Gigi, JJ.

And M? I am. I am. And it's a new relationship, and I'm really excited about it.

That's great. Gritch, thanks for recommending our book. It's very nice of you to give it a recommendation. Do you read a lot of kids' poetry or kids' books, hyming books?

I actually find that I involuntarily rhyme all the time. It happens time to time. You know what I'm talking about?

Yes, I saw you do it just then. It was crazy.

Now, you guys seem to be experts on hyming. How did you get so good at hyming? Who teaches you how to do that? Are you big hip hop fans?

I love hip hop.

Absolutely. You like that one bandad? That one big boy band that raps?

Bts?

Yeah, BTS.

People call you America's sweetheart. And I can't walk down the street without just getting banged with Odenkirk on every Marquee. -odenkirk.

-yes, I know. The clumsiest name, the worst name for a Marquee. Marques hate that name. They hate it. They would love something simple.

Like Grinch. You know, Bob, enough about me. Let's get back to me. Aaron, how would you illustrate me? I'm very famously drawn by a very famous man, but how would you illustrate me? How would you render me.

In 2D? I might begin with a big splatter. You have this intense energy, and so I might begin with a big splatter of green and follow that up maybe with some yarn outline of your body because I believe you're fuzzy. I can't tell over Zoom exactly.

But-i'm fuzzy and I have skin and I have scales and I have fur. And it's very matted.

Yeah, it's not the best combination.

Sometimes it's very fuzzy and felty, but sometimes it's also very a thatched. Some people have used a thatched, shading to capture some of my natural crunchiness. The yarn thing, I'm like a mixed media thing.

Yeah, let's have some fun with it. I feel like it'll bring out your sweeterside. I do believe there's a sweeter side. I don't know if you do, but I can see that little twinkle in your eye.

I mean, listen, that fur that you have, I just imagine if it were given a nice shampoo would be the best fur for a hug. Forgive me. You're a plush fellow, and there's no way around it.

I am plush. You know that store where they sell all the little smiling characters that are plush animals? The other day, a sophomore in college tried to buy me to put me in the corner of a dorm room. And I said, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm a real person. And she said, Oh, it's so cute. It would look great in the back of my Twitch streams. And I said, Ma'am, I am not some stuffed animal. I am a functioning, cognitive being.

Absolutely. And she just didn't understand.

Yeah, she didn't understood.

She didn't understand it, did it. She just not understood it.

Well, she didn't understood or understand neither.

She understated it. It was understated. Now, before we wrap up, she's waving the clipboard at me. I'm contractually obligated to ask you this next question. Here it goes. What's the most cherished Odenkirt family holiday tradition?

And.

You don't have to answer that. We can just get past it.

To me, I would say it's the orphan's Christmas.

Describe it.

Well, we live in Hollywood, and I've lived here for many years. I've done very well in this business, Grinch. I've been handsomely rewarded for the work that I've enjoyed doing.

Well, you're very handsome, so it makes sense.

Well, don't change the subject. I was talking about my monetary recompense, and I've done.

Quite well. I mean, a thesaurus for this interview.

And as a result, have a beautiful home with a giant dining room table. And each year we've asked ourselves, Naomi and myself, what can we do to fill this table out? Because we only have two children, that's all. And so we make a big meal. And because Naomi is a.

Manager- She manages like a Chile's or something.

She helps actors and writers find their way in show business. She helps them manage their careers. And so each year we will invite two or three or up to four young, orphan, we'll call them orphans, they're not orphans. They have homes. They just can't afford to fly home for Christmas. And so it's become a tradition to have guests at our table who are so thankful to have that warm feeling of family and love and community and to share our plentitude.

Our turkey.

Our turkey with these young people who are trying to make their way and make their dream come true.

You're telling them a temporary family because they can't go home? Yes. You could just open the door and say, Fly on Spirit, and slam the door. But instead, you bring them in.

Yes, we do that, Grinch.

I'm sorry, guys. I have a cardiac condition where my heart is too size toosmall. Taper down. Taper down.

Are you okay, sir?

Deep breaths. I'm sorry. I'm good.

For a moment there, your heart.

Was too size too big. Now it's back to the size that it fits in my chest cavity.

That.

Feels crazy.

That must hurt.

It's fine. Well, you guys did a great job. Thanks for coming on my Christmas show. Where can people to get this stupid book?

Any bookstore has our book, Zillet and other important hymns. Thank you for sharing the story with people. Thank you so much for the time.

Yeah, thanks for stopping by.

Bob and Aaron. Yeah, and can I just say, French, should you have nowhere to be this December? Our table will have an extra chair at it.

Sorry, it's just like sore. You know how your sternum just gets like sore sometimes?

But Aaron's right. We'd love to have you, Grinch. We'd love to have you. At the risk of enlarging your heart one more time, and we sure would love.

To have you. Well, how about for Thanksgiving? Sure. Can we meet in the middle there?

I know you love Thanksgiving, and I don't understand this bias, but it's a start.

Google it, Bob. Google it. Thank you so much for coming on the show, guys, Bob and Eric. Thank you. Such a nice family.

Thanks, Grinch. Thanks, Grinch. Bye. Bob, Odenkirk.

And Aaron Odenkirk, everybody. Okay, now that they're gone, that situation sounds wild. A bunch of broke actors gathered around a fireplace listening to Bob Odenkirk read his book of children's poetry. I might have to take them up on that invite because that I'd like to see. Cindy, tell the Odenkirk I'm in. Roll the credits. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. And they really make them that long. Go off, Kings.

How.

About some organ? Yeah, that's nice. Okay, wrap it up. Follow Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show on the Wundery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to all episodes early and ad-free by joining Wundery Plus in the Wundery app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wundery. Com/survey.

Tis the Grinch holiday talk show is a production of Wundery and Dr. Suez enterprises, hosted by James Austin Johnson as the Grinch, with Anjali Khunipanani as Cindy Luhu, that's me, and Anthony Taminik as theannouncer. Additional voices by Matt Gantt, Dave Schilly, and Will Walker. This episode was written by Dan Cronin. Sound design by Jamie Cooper, with additional sound design by Kelly Cromerick. Music supervision by Scott Vulaski for Frisian Sync. Our senior producer is Jennifer Klein Walker. Ayana White is our production assistant. Our managing producer is Sarah Mathis, and our senior managing producer is Calin Plus. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer. Additional engineering by Augustine Lim. Audio assistants by Andrew Law and Adrian Tapia. Executive producer by Susan Brandt at Dr. Suez enterprises. Executive producers are Lauren D, Dave Easton, Andrew Goldstein, and Marcia Louis for WNDY.