What's up, guys? Well, back to Views, the podcast where I'm stuck in a contract with Jason and I have no choice to record these once a fucking week. God damn it, man.

I check a lot of people like me on the show. I swear.

I check guys, I see your tweets. And, yes, there is no way of getting out of it any time. That's how long's the contract? 14 years. Oh, that's great. Roll the intro music.

Hey, guys, this morning we had to call Jason because he actually was to open up. Wow, I thought you were going to do the solid here. Just let this pass, because I see you're opening it up podcast because he accidentally uploaded a fucking nude on Instagram stories.

That's a dramatic. OK, it wasn't it wasn't a nude.

It was him shirtless and him like pulling his pants, wasn't pulling my pants down. My belly is big and the pants were falling down.

Oh, so you're holding them up? Yeah, I was holding them up last night. It was the worst and it ruined my whole day.

So you posted this picture was having the best day. He posted this picture and it was it's it's like him holding his pants like a weird like, you know, like, well, like a super hot guy. Like it looked like one like a super hot guy would, like, pull his pants down a little bit so you could see the V like the V that's created by his abs.

If there's no V, it's just like a big spare tire. Yeah I know, but yeah. And I knew Jason didn't mean upload it because the caption was exclamation point, exclamation mark, exclamation point, parentheses seven like that's what it was.

You could tell that, you could tell that he uploaded it. So we fucking called him frantically like bro like is it like if you're kid side I'd be like that's not like the best.

But but what I was doing was I last that I got out the shower and I've been working out a lot and I'm like, nothing is happening. Like the set, like the belly is still there.

It's taking a progress picture. I went into the just to see like how my. Yeah. Progress picture just to see if that's how fat the belly was.

And I'm like and I told first of all, I called Jason and he like freaks out, dude, whenever I call Jason you because you don't it's the only time you call me is when I did something wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. So I called him.

He's already fucking freaking out. I tell him I go, what the fuck did you just post on your stories. And literally ten seconds, all of his stories from the day are deleted. Like he wasn't even checked. He deletes all of them. And then he goes, well, was it because he didn't even want to look? I didn't even want to look to see what the story was. So he pulled all of them down. Like, all is like fucking like swipe up to see my YouTube video, like, all the stories were gone.

And then and then I go, Jay, there was like a fucking picture of you that, like, looked like you were being like, you know, looks like maybe a private picture. And he's like, oh yeah, I took that one last night.

And I was like, there's no way you took it last night. The pictures taken during the day.

So I was I was confused that when he took it, I, like, took it like I went into the shower, like later in the day. It was still light. Right.

I want to take it last night, but I saw a screenshot of the picture and I showed it to Jay. And I'm like, Jay, this was the picture.

And he goes, Oh, yeah, I didn't mean to upload that. And like, it was such a weird reaction like that. And I was saying, like like that's like obviously you didn't mean to upload that.

But what a weird reaction I wanted to make because, you know, the other thing is I was out in the sun. Do you have this problem when you're in blazing sun shooting something, you can't see your phone that well? Yes. So I'm out with Jonah. I was doing Jonah a solid I was not supposed to be out there today, but I want to let him down and so fucking I'm out in the sun was like all caps fucking check your story.

And I was like, oh no, I'm done it again. I fucked the whole group up again. And then I was just like I just went in there and I saw the selfie and I was like, delete, delete. And then is the thing about like Nerf, that's what happened. I went there and Jonah and I were like joking around and Nerf was in the front seat. So we did some Instagram stories that a Nerf was the Uber driver driving the dog.

Yeah, Nerf the dog dog.

And I thought they were really funny. And somehow the nuti the half nude went up. I don't know how I did it right. I really don't.

But my favorite the part that's the strangest is your reaction wasn't. Oh my God, that's so embarrassing.

Your reaction was oh I didn't mean upload that as if like that made it OK. No, I said I'm so sorry. I fucked up. No, but then how do you explain it.

You were there too. Yeah. We were all listening. Of course.

You know what, you don't do anything alone. You do everything by committee with these five people around you going just fucking approving what you say every time Jason's a fucking idiot me back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with your favorite topic. So it's really not a stretch. It's your favorite. I saw her today when I came over to do Todd's thing and she was like, turn your phone off. And I was like, oh, bitch, I didn't know.

First of all, I had to teach him how this is. The problem is that he leaves his phone and he puts in his pocket all these you but dialyse. But yeah, but I heard you battled for people yesterday from jail. It's fucking crazy because but smiling but battling debt.

But dialing on an iPhone should not be a fucking thing. There's no buttons. What are you dialing? There is no dial. It's lonely. I guess there's no fucking like what what heat sensors do you have on your ass that are pressing all these calls?

I don't have this problem because every time you're done with the iPhone, you click the thing and you're done. You turn yeah. You turn off your iPhone. And no one ever told me that. You just put it in your pocket.

I literally had a I taught him what the power off button was today. He was like, so you just press this and it goes dark. And I yeah, you're fucking really.

I took a minute with me and maybe taught me a few things, but that shouldn't be for fucking three weeks teaching you just how to start a car.

That's not true. I was very apologetic, whatever it wasn't. I knew it was, but the thing is, the thing is it could have been horrible, right? Like it could have been. I don't have anything on my phone. It's horrible, right? I know. But it could have been a nude. I don't take nudes.

Yeah, right. I don't why would I take. I don't have anyone to send them. Right. I mean, come on, my bad.

Do you take nudes. Yeah. Really. Yeah. To send people to. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

You mean fuck you that night. Yeah. I was like oh he had his phone so much more but no he had his phone. That was. Yeah I had fun. I don't wanna lie to you.

I took nudes when I was like 16, 17. Yes. There a streaming and someone commented like does your nudes are all over Twitter. I'm like cool because like I'm like if they are I was fucking seventeen and someone's going to jail.

But yeah, no, I definitely do that when I was younger. But now I haven't done that. I haven't done it. Why do you take nude no matter how many nudes have you sent in your life. One Oh tittered.

No.

Oh and what do you mean by nude. Like was it like full nude or was it just like your boobs. Just my boobs. Oh ok. Yeah. So that's nice.

That's like, it's like a mean, that's like an only fast nude. I here to really out. How many news have you sent.

Like most of the same person though but I. Taylor And what did you think when you received those nudes.

I posted twice in two separate occasions to my story by accident and the nudes.

Correct. But that's exactly right.

I don't take them because I'm just scared that it'll end up somewhere. And like, the person sees me nude and I've never been in, like, a long distance thing when he does well, I wasn't a long distance thing, so I sent one knew. And then I was like, I don't really want to do that again.

And does he have to, like, talk you into it or just do it? Oh, no, I did it. Oh, you were gone. I took a nude on our pool table.

I know you did in the first week and he took it on. I like all sexy. Like you said. That would be hard. Me like, what do you mean as your boyfriend? We're both biting their nails right now. Like what the fuck is it. Right.

You took a nude on the pool table. Yeah.

You really opened up on this podcast, the last two episodes from from fucking yourself what Todd's dildo to but never said that. No, no. Hold on. Time out. You took a nude on the pool table.

Yeah, OK.

As a guy as a guy like if I'm about to receive like an intimate picture from a girl, if she takes it in the middle of her boss's living room, I would not be turned on by that.

First of all, it wasn't my boss's living. I mean, it is my boss. But he knows the situation. I didn't send him that one. I took others throughout the house.

Who took the one on the pool table, my friend. Wait, we will fucking paint the picture for me now.

What the fuck? What do you fucking mean? The pool table right here in the middle of what I said I stand. What do you mean you stand like you also took what I'm a what friend Zane know my friend is where my girlfriends and I stay here.

OK, so ok.

So so she was the one that she was like, you got to do this like he needs this like my boyfriend. Oh.

Because OK. Because you didn't you guys didn't see each other for a while because it had been like two months. Yeah. OK, and which one did you end up sending him. Not the pool table one though. Where was it like just in the bathroom.

In the kitchen. Now are you fucking serious?

I wasn't like fucking spread eagle on the fridge. Like, it wasn't, like, disgusting.

Were you spread eagle on the pool table? No. What the fuck? I can't imagine being nude on the pool table. And your boobs are just hanging.

Your boobs are just the boobs are not big enough. Fucking flopping around. Your boobs are just out. Did you pick up any of the like, the balls? They make sure to rub my tits on every football.

Did you. Yeah. But did you hold up. Did you, did you hold up the pool ball to your nipple or did you take the eight.

I took a video, I rubbed the people on my nipples and I liked it. And then I rubbed it on my face.

Kenny. And then I passed all over your bad shit on. Did you take did you take any on my bed?

I forgot about this. No, no, no, no. Wow, that's crazy. And.

OK, OK, so where is working bag like them. Like I have like the rolodex of the photos going through my head and they're like so grungy. Were you laughing as you were taking our 100 percent like oh OK. It wasn't like I'm being sexy.

No, I mean I was only trying to be sexy, but I'm not like I'm not like an overly sexual person. Yeah. You're like you're actually going to say, OK, yeah, it's funny.

What did he say? He didn't. It was he was. Oh yeah. Yeah. What this was for the first dude you sent him. Yeah.

This is the first and only nude I sent him. Oh wow. Yeah. What was his reaction. He was very taken aback.

He was like at work or something like oh that's weird, not cool. I'm my work Natalie. And that also might be why I never sent another one, because it was just kind of like an awkward thing, because an underwhelming reaction.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's tough to read. Like it's hard to react to it. Right, Goodway? Well, you have to go.

Damn, that's hot. Well, how do people react to your thousands of nudes?

Because she's European. It's more accepted over there. I mean, I yeah, I think it's pretty normal. I mean, I don't know. I think it's weird that none of you guys have taken nudes. Don't you have like a secret folder on your phone?

You have a secret folder where you just have a bunch of nudes? Yes.

Well, when Ella sends them, I just I reply with, like, the fire emoji.

Yeah. It's kind of like you want someone to be like, oh, damn, I wish I was there. Like, come like come see me or I love their new screensaver.

You got four crazy friends.

And what kind of what kind of like nude is it. Is it like, like is it just boobs or like everything.

Um and do you get creative like do you think tables and kitchen creative.

I once had my friend take one of me. Oh what the fuck. Yeah. It's pretty. I feel like that takes away the car. You should have. It'll take so long with you. I feel like that takes away the magic of like the intimacy of it.

If were like. Yeah. Like they're like professional ones but I sent a couple better ones. Are the ones you like take in the mirror like something like that.

I sent you a note. Yeah. And you ask for it or. No guys, kids aren't never nice to receive.

I'll show you one of mine if you show me one of yours. What y y.

Oh my God.

What is it. I 236. And they're all photos that I have in my camera have two hundred thirty six nudes of yourself.

How come dude. No. Some of them are of other people, but mostly they're all quite organized. Well they're from other honestly all from college.

But it's like, you know, it's when you take a couple of the same ones and you know, I put all of them in here, boy, you're trying to freak me out.

I'm sorry. You know, hiring can be tough, believe me. I know. When I had to find a co-host for the show, I found David, found him at the laundromat, just hanging out there asking for spare change. And here we are today.

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You know, it's really funny is when I hear rumors about you from other people. What did you hear? I heard a really funny rumor someone was asking me about you blogging.

Yeah. And they go. They go. So. So what's the deal? He's got he's got the hour coming like that. And I go, what do you mean.

And he goes, well that's what everyone says, is that he has this hour of my guys that he's been working on and he's just taken all the stuff he shot in quarantine. And he's coming out with this one hour of like, oh, that's so funny. Not funny. I fucking died.

And what did you say? It's like an hour maybe of him streaming, maybe playing God. Yeah.

Now there's absolutely nothing. If I was to put together what I shot to encourage you, I'd probably have a minute in a minute. Twenty seconds.

Over the last eight months, not a lot less fun things happen. Yeah. When you're not, like, seeking them out, like it's not like, you know, like a tiger just walks nearby. S and he's like, hey, hey, can I walk with you? You got to get that fuckin shit here. Now vlogger today I heard another rumor about myself the other day that I told Natalie about this because it pissed me off.

Some girl fucking made a ticktock saying that she used to work at a restaurant and I didn't TIPPER and on the tip. And now we were really loud, which is totally true. We were we're definitely out restaurants, but we always tip. That's like. Right. Like I mean, that's like the biggest thing out of like 100 hundred percent tip no matter what I tip at fucking chick fillet like I tip wherever I'm at. And she said instead of tipping where the credit card is, I wrote my name and a smiley face or like something like hello and like a smiley face.

Like I was like, look at me. I'm David. I signed I signed it with a smiley face.

I don't I don't know what I did. And it fucking ticked me off so much. One, because I haven't had a credit card in fucking maybe three or four years, like I don't like use credit cards. I just had my friends pay for shit and I Venmo them. So I'm never even like left with the bill. If I'm if I am tipping, I'm only tipping in cash and I'm only paying in cash and it's just fucking to piss me off so much.

And you can't respond to it because it's just like fuels the person to like make more lies about.

I fucking hate it. Just did. Huh. And you just did respond. I know, but I didn't call her out by name or whoever it was. And also she said I was at dinner for three hours.

No, never. No. Oh God. I can't get you in there for twenty minutes. No, I've never been at a dinner for you and the food or the food. I'm on my way. Oh well, a steak. Every part of that story was a lie.

And I actually and I and I like this happened like a while ago that this Tic-Tac was made and then like recently, like a week ago, I met somebody and I was like, what's the worst thing you've ever heard about me? And this person was like that. You left a restaurant. You have to really messy. And instead of giving them a tip, you just signed your name like you're some hotshots from that. I was like, Are you fucking kidding me?

That pissed me off so much. That pissed me off so much. People are liars too. I was like a backpack that she takes when I go on runs. Yeah. And like in the backpack is like change clothes, waters, all these kinds of things. It's like a big backpack. And we pulled up to the house and I grab a car and I started walking straight towards the door like in fucking seconds, like I got out of the car and I left.

And then and then I looked back at Taylor and she just gave me the fucking dirtiest look like the dirtiest look.

She's trying to pull the backpack out of the back of a car. And I go, oh, I'm sorry. And I turn around till I go help her.

And she's like, No, no, you weren't supposed to see that dirty one comes back. And he goes, Wait, why are you looking at me like that? And I was like, oh, and I like, completely changed my face. And then I was like, never mind, never mind. And then and then he's like he like walked back to the car. He's like, is everything OK? Like, you know, like trying to check out the situation.

Like see if I'm like like why I'm dirty. It's like it was like it was it was like when you like hold like your middle finger up when they're not looking at you like it was like the exact same thing.

But I just watched him cause he got out so fast he didn't even like take the key. Like he literally just and he didn't like look at anything but like walk inside. I'm tired and like subclans like you just closes the door, like barely closes it. And I was just sitting back.

She was mad at how like hard I closed my door. I was like, what the fuck are you mad at that for? But she was there stuck with a backpack. And then today she was getting my backpack out of the car and and I and I turned around to go help her.

And she's like, no, no, you weren't supposed to see that yesterday. I was like, you do pay me to do this. So I was supposed to see me make that face. It was so funny. Why are you mad at him?

Well, it was just he always gets out of the car so fast and like then especially when we're coming back, like from his like runs. I have towels. I have all the sweaty clothes that I have to pick up.

I think it was like in the moment, like it was like, you are flip it. She made that. She made that face completely. Yeah, I had no idea, but I just happened to try to and it was totally on accident.

One hundred percent in the moment. She wasn't actually feeling it. Well, feeling it. She wasn't one hundred she totally sick of for you in the face before. And as soon as you walk out the door we're all smiling. Just fucking eighteen thousand views of yourself right now.

Do you guys remember, like when David leaves and we're all still here when we all go like, oh no.

Yes. Big sigh of relief. Everyone takes us.

Oh is he gone? Is God, I don't do that.

Friend. Uh, Elliott does this weird thing when I know you're about to say go ahead.

When we go to boxing, he sweats a lot like a lot like when he takes his t shirt off, he like rings it out and is literally like it looks like he's put in the washing machine and fucking water then. And every time he finishes he goes, Bro, I'm so wet, I'm so fucking wet.

And he says in the most disgusting way. And he says every single time and he'll continue to say he'll get in the car like, yo, I'm so wet.

Like, I just feel so wet. I get it, though, saying that I get it.

There's something about being like that sweaty where you're just like you just have to. The way he says wet is just disgusting. Like it doesn't make me I am soaked. I'm like so, so wet. Like so wet snow day, you don't understand. I know, bro, I know, because, like, when I would leave workout's, I would turn the heat up in my car when I would leave. So I would I would like start melting ice melt in the sun.

But you used to Fabián. You use Sirikit to get back on terrorism, bro. You know what I found out about Taylor? She's a really good she'd be a really good voice. Actors do your thing. Do you? Oh, gosh.

I mean, obviously she voice but she plays like a really good like a little kid go like. Do you think this is from Lilo and Stitch. Here he goes.

Do you even know what tuna is. It's fish. If I get tuna it'd be an abomination. And that's fucking crazy. Really good. Good, good.

Anybody anybody looking to hire a three year old. Ls that all you can say about you being wet.

Yeah. Yes. OK, I'm not adding to that. He's, he's not telling the second part of the story.

What's the second part. It's not funny. I kept on going is wet and I mean. No, no you know it's not funny. What, it's just it's just weird. Oh OK. Well now it's really weird.

You should tell it now.

Now it's like no, I can't. I mean, I just kept on saying, oh yeah. Oh, I was like I was like, are you it.

And she's like, yeah, that is where she's like, yeah, I'm like, you want to get out of here.

A Earlier today I fucking caught him jerking off to a picture of me in his office, which yeah, I swear to God really I was doing something, I was printing off a picture of David for something that I need now.

He was all fucking sweaty, all that shirtless. I just got back from a run.

But I mean he had and I walked into his office and I did knock, but I walked in, I walked in and he had a picture on his phone just to me. My face was my profile picture. I was like, dude, are you fucking whacking off to me? And he goes and he goes instead of saying, no, he goes, get the get out, get out of the room, get out, lock the door, knock back.

Stop. I reacted. Yeah. Exactly what it was like a reaction. I actually I'm jerking off. I fucking masturbate to you, you know. Why were you printing a picture of me.

I can't tell you. OK, because you're jerking off there. Yes. Ella, you're new here.

Would you like to feel how sweaty my hands got you. Sure. Yeah.

You never felt that before. What I give them that crazy is the Vaseline all over your head. It's fucking insane. Yeah, yours aren't as bad as his, is it?

Only when you hold a mic. It's when I hold the mic that is actually so weird.

Have you held it? Have you know it's fucking. I know that he's when he's what. His catchphrase. He's very wet. Yeah. Another funny rumor I saw is when Taylor first started working here, um, I got like six tweets saying that she belonged to a cult church.

And people. People. Do you remember the show? I think I called Jason. I was like, dude, I think I think she's trying to infiltrate us.

I think she's trying to fucking kill us.

And there's pictures of her like being baptized in, like, really bad pictures to like low quality pictures that look like they were taken by like an FBI agent standing outside of the church.

Like literally the only photos that you could find of me at the time of these baptism photos for my mom made me it was like her with this devilish grin, like being baptized in like a big not like a little like Malika when the priest pours water on you, but like in this like cave like thing.

Oh, my God. It was literally like a little pool outside your door being really dramatic. I know people people said you were part of a cult, which I don't know, you cleared up.

Yes. It's a large church in Orange County that multiple people of my like the people that I went to school with go to what is it, a little cult?

I mean, does it get a bad rap?

No, the pastor's son just passed away. And then it got about I don't even know. I don't keep up with this. But I mean, I guess maybe a lot of people go there. Did they brainwash you?

Yes. So I work here. That's why I like David so much. She meows.

Yeah, that is why she mouths. Yeah.

The mouth of the mouth, I think is weird. Yeah.

It's just a bunch of cats that go to that church cause I don't know, maybe I just hung out with the cats in the back. Not.

Do you remember that? Do you remember what the thing I do remember. I remember I saw I think I got tired of it and then they brought it to you and I was like, oh my God, David, what is this?

Yeah. Now he brought it to me. And when she shows me, I go, I know, I know. I was like it was very dramatic. I was like, do I confront her about this? I guess it's like a secret thing.

Like I felt I felt guilty all day and I wanted to cry all day. Wait, did I confront you about it?

Well, I came up to you. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, I said first things first. Well, what did you say to Jason, Gee, what do I do about this? And he was like, it's going to be OK, Taylor. People are just really mean. And then he goes, but yeah, let's talk to David. I go, can you help me tell him?

And then and then I want to tell you. Go tell you and I sit down. Go I have to tell you something and you go. I know.

Clear, there's no background checks for these jobs, obviously, now we fucking didn't know about your fucking pornography, that obviously we don't do our research here.

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Oh, I have some good news. I was on a dating app and I didn't know what to write back on Sunday. And Ella wrote the perfect thing back. And then I the girl wrote back. And then we're supposed to go on a date. What is your back? Just back like, hey, what's up? Most like the person did right back. Yeah. It was something like, hey, how's it going?

Like like magic. But it worked. And we were supposed to have a date tonight. Read the text we were supposed to cure where she canceled this morning.

Oh she goes, yeah. She's having an operation tomorrow.

So why is everybody talked to having some sort of operation feel? Everyone you tell us about is like in the hospital.

No, but this is seriously, is this the second girl to send you because you had another girl you were going on a date with and she sent you a picture from the hospital and canceled?

Yeah, it was it was just a girl that I was going to go out on a date with. She doesn't live in L.A. She was going to come drive here and go out on a date or whatever. And then she was really excited. She was like this Saturday, I'm so excited to meet you. And I was like, I'm so excited to meet you, too. And I was like, really looking forward to because it's very rare that anyone was on a date with me and then she got hit by a truck.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, she sent him a picture from the hospital. She's like, I'm going to have to cancel this weekend.

That is the most elaborate excuse if you're not going to it. I have. That's what we thought.

And I was just kidding when I said that the first time. But like now another girl's being operated on, right? Like, how is everybody texting you around the same time as our hospital visits? Do you meet them at the hospital?

I mean, I could look. No, I don't I don't know. Maybe I'm bad luck. Like, maybe.

Oh, yeah. No, that's a curse. Every girl that's dumb enough to talk to you gets hit by a bus.

I'm just curious as to why she planned to have dinner with you. She was going to get hit by a bus that she was going to know this girl. So she's getting operated on.

But but no, she said she said we can go out this week, but I have to be operated on or we could do it next week. And I said, because I've been down this road, I'm like, oh, let's do it after the operation. No problem. And then she was like, no, no, no.

You're like you're like, is it an apron at six? You know, all the operations because you just texting so many girls. OK, so OK. But did she know that there was an operation coming as what Taylor say.

Yes, she knew, OK, she knew she'd be operated on today. And I said I was like, no, no, don't do it before. Like and then she ended up canceling. She's like, you know what? I don't want it. I can't eat anything the night before right now.

OK, but then the other girl and said, no, that just happened on the day that supposed are going to she's got hit by a truck. She just got hit by a truck. Yeah, well she was she on foot.

You know what, honestly, I don't remember. Or maybe she was in a car accident or she's fine now. Oh my God. She sent a picture in the hospital.

But I remember and it looked like one of those fake ones, too. She was like covered in gas. It looked like she rented a set for the day, like, I think we've shot there before. But whatever whatever gets you out of there, Jason.

Hey, look, you could have just said you didn't want to go. You didn't have to hire crew. You guys didn't answer my group text the other day. I really wanted to watch this movie for the podcast called My Octopus Teacher. And no one no one wrote back. And it really hurt my feelings.

Yeah. What is it about also? Stop calling me.

I haven't seen the movie yet. I don't know what happens in the fucking movie. Oh, why the fuck are we going to fucking watch it? Because I hear it's great because I hear it's like a guy who, like the octopus, like knows him.

Oh, it's pretty sexy octopus like follows. Right. Let's put it on the next part. You'll hear us reviewing the octopus friend show my octopus teacher.

OK, put on ten minutes and then if it's really bad you can make fun of me guys for why we're watching the trailer.

This dude literally visits this octopus in the ocean every day. I just can't believe it's an hour and twenty five minutes. I was going to say, like, it seems like it's the same storyline over and over.

Yeah. Like what could it be like. Does he marries it. He goes through divorce. Yeah. He is an octopus baby. Yeah. I guess you're right.

I guess there's this is a whole different, it's crazy that like it's an octopus.

You mean like if any anime. Like, why not like a lion? Yeah, I could see a lion, right? I could see me being in love with a lion, but not octopuses.

And in the trailer, he goes, octopuses are very strange. But when you get closer to them, you realize how we're so alike. Yeah. I mean, it's like a shot of him swimming, swimming next to the octopus. And they obviously look nothing alike. No one's a human and the other is a squid.

So. So, look, this is how they're like. Yeah. I mean, they both have eyes, but one has fucking tentacles. So they're pretty different. But yeah, I mean, it does look good. I don't want to shit on it because it actually genuinely looks. I heard it's really good. Did somebody recommend this to you. How do you find it.

Honestly, I saw a tick tock on it. Oh yeah.

Honestly, I actually was seeing the same octopus about four years ago and actually posted on Instagram that she's with somebody else.

And I had to check out what was going on.

It's a whole separate. It's it as if there is a shop. There's a shot in this documentary.

It's like and when I was down there, I saw another man and it's just fucking Jason swimming away abruptly.

The other man was also fucking the same octopus decided to confront my octopus friend to find out which man she loved. The bachelor boat with an octopus.

Two guys, it's you.

Will you accept this coral and knowing that flick's, you know, like forty five minutes into this documentary, you could say fucking insane.

It turns out the octopus that I was visiting every day was a Nazi who had been tried for German war crimes. Fifty years ago he took me into his lair.

Lots of propaganda not to fan any more.

Is it possible for a man to change or for an octopus to change? No one really knows.

60 Minutes in the octopus is being interviewed. You're just like, are you fucking serious? Your boss is like, yeah.

I mean, honestly, I was just swimming and I'm in. This dude tried putting his penis inside me.

Red Lobster is launching a drink that literally no one asked for a Mountain Dew margarita. What are you Seth Meyers?

You. No, Seth Meyers would have a joke. Teamed up. They teamed up with the Do Garita. The chain says it pairs perfectly with cheddar biscuits. Doesn't sound that bad.

So guys sometimes pass. It's we made fun of octopus teacher. I actually watched it. You did. Did you watch it? I watched it last night. OK, what do you think? I mean, it's it's really good. First of all, I want to apologize because I feel like as I was watching it, the dude was so sweet and like how he fell in love with this octopus. And we're making jokes about how he's like fucking the tentacles and stuff.

Like, I felt bad because I was like I was like, this is somebody's father. Yeah. I was like, this is somebody five. Like this guy obviously has like this beautiful appreciation for this creature. I should not be like fucking you. I mean, obviously they're just jokes and like, I'm happy I said, but like, I hope he doesn't hear it. That's all. That's all OK. I just I respect him and I think it's really cool.

He was going through something to the beginning of the movie. You see that he's like, you know, I've kind of lost my way and, you know, I had problems facing his son, so.

Yeah. So you find this octopus and the crazy part is he lost the octopus for like a week. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, he lost it. And then he's like and then he's like I had to learn what different tracks were like. So he's like I learned what fish tracks were like. I learned what else tracks were like jelly fish, fucking flounder. I was like I was like, what the fuck? And then he found it in a week after every day he searched for it.

And then in a week he found it. Yeah. He found like not to mention octopuses can be fucking camouflage like no other. So like that octopus looked like a rock and sometimes. Yeah. Could you look look like a rock. If you look like a leaf it can take shells all, all its tentacles and cover itself with shells. And you could see it. Yeah.

It literally would just could shield it up. Yeah. I don't know. So I commend the guy for like fucking about this octopus for so long. I was nice.

What did you think when the octopus lost its arm. Oh my God. That's why I turned it off. Oh honestly that was the last, I was the last second. That's so yeah. So like a shark attack, the octopus. And he's really torn too, because he's like he wants to protect the shark. But said I realized I cannot interfere with nature. He wants to protect the octopus. Octopus. Yeah. He wants to protect the octopus.

And he's like I, I was going to scare the shark away.

And then I realized I cannot get in the way of nature.

And and you're thinking, wow, man, this is a serious fucking at this point. This is what I'm thinking, man. I'm really fucking regretting all those jokes. This man is seriously facing the decision and he just fucking lets the shark eat the octopus.

Yeah. Which I don't think is that I think I think he should have fucking scared the shark away.

You think so? Yeah, bro. Like you fucking you made a friend.

Like, don't worry, you're not going. To fuck up all of Oceania with this with keeping this octopus safe, yeah, like you know what I mean? Yeah, like I don't think it was going to fuck with anything like that. Interesting. It's kind of weird to be like you deserve to die, like, sorry, I can't help you even though I visit you every fucking day for the last 35 days.

Yeah. And then I kept thinking the octopus who had like shook his hand before and was friends with him when he saw him later. Must have been like, yo, why didn't you fucking clear that shark out. Yeah. You know, you were there and you were filming. I would have lost trust as the octopus too. Yeah. I would have been like then his arm grew back. Yeah. I mean that's octopus. Yeah I know. So maybe he maybe he wasn't this.

I'm glad you watched it. It was pretty cool.

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What are your runs like now. Run a lot, huh? How are those talking to me.

Oh so you go out and run though I always is. Good exercise. Oh, I heard you got a resume here, huh? Yeah.

This guy sent us a big resume and the resume is like from my floor tonight.

It's always something when I come over here, I don't come over here as much. But every time I walk in here, the stuff, the amount of shit that you guys get sent, it's unreal.

Yeah, it's all Natalie too though. Like, OK, like 80 percent of his Natalie getting stuff from brand. Just fucking crazy crazy. And I'm like, I don't want to say I'm jealous, but I've been doing this way longer than she has and fucking no one says we me like like this. And Natalie really Natalie gets now that gets a new sweatshirt. Natalie gets like five to six new sweatshirts a day. Wow. Day like it's crazy.

It's so fucking insane and it's like a really nice shit. Like it's like yeah. Either for people who are just starting companies. So it's nice because they're putting a lot of work into it. It's from really established companies that are fucking sending her the nicest shit and it's all fucking free and it's just boxes. If Natalee's not here for three hours, there's or if no one's at the house for three hours, they stack up in front of in front of the front door like four boxes.

We'll just be sitting.

She's and then today you got a resume that's as big as the pool table. Yeah. Today this guy's on a resume. It's fucking ginormous. I honestly don't even I said I was like, I don't care what the resume says. I think it's a cool idea. Right. I should at least talk to the guy.

I don't I don't you don't even really care to read anybody's fucking resume. I think those are the boring as things in the world. I just want somebody that's like cool I can hang out with and that's creative. And that's pretty fucking creative. Pretty creative. I think resumes are so fucking dumb. Yeah. Like it's just like like I like resumes themselves or are dumb, but I don't think like, like job experiences are like one thing. So like if you like, if you like, if you were hiring somebody and you're like Oh yeah.

He used to work for Kimmel, he was a writer for him for ten years. Oh cool. He's probably fucking hilarious. He's probably written some really funny things.

But if you, but if you like print out all the things he's done in his last fucking eighteen years of life, you can make anything sound cool. Right.

You could be like I was on the Council of the Department lead lead of the financial advisory sector of UCLA. Like you can make anything sound cool, even if it's just like some fucking bullshit thing you can you can just play like that's why I fucking hate resumes. Yeah. Look, I spent sixty hours cleaning up the ocean like you could do anything you could, you could put anything on the fucking resume. Look, I helped the guy cross the street once and he thanked me like, you know what I mean?

You could hire this guy or you could hire the guy from Octopus Teacher. That would be fun. And I think the guy with from Octopus Teacher is like, look, I think he's living his life.

So you want me to organize all the merch?

You know, that'll be my one request from this guy who sent me the resume today is you need to watch Octopus Teacher.

You need to write four jokes about it and give me your honest feedback and I'll see I'll see if you're qualified enough for this job.

Please call that guy today and tell him what I want to see, what I want to know, what everybody thinks about octopus teacher.

We just saw an ad for Ocean's Twelve or whatever, and one time Matt Damon. Yes, talking about Brad Pitt, he was on like Letterman and Matt Damon is a great actor. Oh, I remember this. I remember. Yeah. And he was just like he was like, look, I'm a famous actor. He's like it's fucking like nothing like when Brad Pitt comes out, he's like because he was doing like press with Brad Pitt. He's like, I can walk around, I can go get a sandwich.

He's like Brad Pitt comes. It's fucking pandemonium. And that's for Matt Damon. Yeah.

So I just thought that was funny. It is a big difference.

Have you ever seen man like me and you you know, have you ever seen Matt Damon? I go across you. Have you ever seen. Yeah, you're exactly like Matt Damon. Have you ever seen Matt Damon talk about him and Mark Wahlberg? How how? Like, a lot of times people come up to them and they're, like, mistaken for each other. Oh, really? It's like so often at this point that they just they don't even say anything.

They just like take pictures as that person. Oh, really? Yeah. Sorry, Matt Damon. It's like I can't tell you how many times I've taken a picture as Mark Wahlberg, but like, I don't care to explain anymore to people that it's me. Matt Damon. Right. That's so funny to mistake one actor for another. Yeah. That's like a really funny.

It's pretty funny. Have you been mistaken for anybody? Has anyone ever come up and been like now?

Hey, Todd, you know, I feel like a lot of people get mistaken for you, though. I think I'll see a lot of things on Twitter, on our tech talk and be like I thought I mean, I thought I met David Dobek last night and there's a picture of just like them and some, like brown hair.

Dude, a lot of people will be like plastered and they'll like meet somebody that looks like me and then they'll like tweet about it. Like, I met somebody last night. I thought it was you, but it wasn't you. And then this one guy, like, went into a mall pretending to be me, like dressed as me, be like impersonators.

But like that's like that's not that's not like being actually mistaken. Yeah. Yeah. Someone playing you. But it's funny. That is funny.

Oh. What happened to the other day. Yeah. I was driving yesterday and I was like in the car and I got to like a red light and this guy pulls up next to me and he's like, hey, it's like there's something loose on your tire. You should really get that checked out. And I was like, I it's my first car. I've had it for like three months. So I'm like, oh, got shrillest. Thanks so much.

I, I'll go check it. And he's like, if you pull over or I'll check it out for you for free. I work right down the street and he had like oil on his hands like he was a mechanic.

Show you the oil. Well I could just see his hands because they were like on the steering wheel and he was like if you pull over, I'll fix it for you for free. And I oh, he was in the car next year. It was in the car next to me.

And I was like, oh, I'm OK. Thank you, though. Like, I got to go to a meeting. And he's like, you should really get it fixed. So, like, I don't want you to die pretty girl like you. Oh.

And then I was like, oh, I'm like, you pull over, bitch. And then I like, drive further down and he comes up again and he's like, well, can I take you on a date? And I was like, oh no, sorry. And he goes, come on, let me take you on a date. And like, started getting aggressive. And I was like, sorry, I have a boyfriend and I like literally I've never gone so fast on fucking binturong.

I like speed. It's not like I go to get that way. And I got away from him, but I was so freaked out that the wheel goes literally. I pass off, I literally park and I like looking at my wheel.

I'm like, I don't know what I'm looking for.

And I think looks looks to me. So nothing was wrong on the wheel? No, I don't think so.

I warned you. I told you to get it fixed. Yeah, that's awful. You guys are awful. Really fucked up. Girls have to do.

What was he was he trying to kidnap you? Always trying to take you on a date? I don't know. I could have been both. Well, what did he seem like? He definitely was kind of creepy, but he seemed and then initially he seemed really genuinely like so it just seemed like a really far fetched pickup line. Right.

But at the same time, why would you ask me, like, pull over?

That was the thing that creeped me out after he said if I wanted to if I'm justifying his actions, which I don't know if I want to be, but I would assume that he wanted to get more time with you. So you would be more inclined to say, yes, like if you got to know him. Right. Like like if you if he helped you out, you'd like him more and then you'd be more inclined to say yes, like I guess.

But also also if you're listening to this and you're not pullover, I do not ever pull over for shit like that. Your wheel is final over. There's there's where he's going.

I was just going to say, I guess if there's a world where you thought he was cute, maybe I would have pulled you like.

Yeah, always the fucking cute ones that are for writers. It's also true. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, this guy is cute. He does have a sledgehammer but he is adorable. What was I going to say to those one time.

Wait, where were you pulling off the one on one. No, I was on Myntra.

Oh I was pulling off like the one on one and these two guys were like, their car was like sideways blocking two lanes and one of them had like a gas canister in their hand, like one of those red ones that you fill up the gas with. Yeah. And he was like waving his hands in the air like, oh my God, I can't believe we're stuck. And his friend like like waved me down and stopped me. And he's like, hey, man, we need to get over to Lancaster.

Can we borrow like forty bucks. We just got to get gas right here. And I was like, OK, so I gave them like twenty dollars and then I drove off and then and then I, I got home and I left and they were still fucking sitting there doing the same fucking thing to everybody.

Oh I know. Oh God I know. But it's my first time. This is only like a month ago that this happened. And I was like, I can't believe I fucking fell for this shit. But like, right when I drove away, I was like, oh, that guy didn't fucking need my money because, like, no, there's no fucking way like this.

Like, how perfect is it that these dudes hold your gas canister and he's like looking into it like, oh, it's empty, like really acting it out. They're looking for you. They're looking for a young guy. Right. Who's kind of new to the world. Yeah. And really nice. He's like ready to build up his karma.

I hope this will help me out when I give this fucking thief right, Tony? Yeah, yeah. That's why they always get it, because, like, there's always that one person who doesn't know yet. We all have to go through it before you learn.

It's not it's not only that, but like like when people are having bad days, I feel like they want to give money more to people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like said, people are like maybe this will change my my luck and like, yeah, I'm going to give this guy 20 bucks and let's see, let's see. He'll get home to Lancaster and maybe I'll get that text back.

Like I feel like that's how people think when it comes down to that. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening, J. Thank you for being the co-host this week. Thanks for having me. Trial is going well. I think we're going to see my coming back next.

We will keep in touch and we'll shoot you an email Friday. The latest.

Let me know. OK, well, thank you. I don't have any other options. Go by Jaysus merch. Go check out my merch. We'll see you guys soon. My name is Jeff.