Testing, testing, one, two, three guys are are set looks like ASPE this week because like who said, well, this is it with the ladder in the back. It.

This is the intro.

You ready? Yeah, let's go.

Hey, guys, look at that, do well, Dial Nine, a weekly podcast hosted by myself and boyfriend Jeremy and boyfriend and boyfriend.

OK, no, but for real, we are at the halfway mark of flipping this entire room and I would say by maybe next pod, but for sure, the pod after that, it'll be cute as fuck. I kind of like the latter. Like the latter. Yeah.

I drag the plantin so that I can have a cuter background and it was definitely worth it. Remember the show Home Improvement with Tim Allen? Yeah, I feel like this is very good. Yeah. This is yeah. Your side looks way cuter than mine.

I told you because I dragged the plant and I asked you if you wanted to plant. You said no, no, I went this ladder. You want the ladder to showcase how how handy we are. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Well, welcome back to the pod. This is this is just some real life shit we're in the middle of. We're very far away from each other.

I know. I feel very far. Yeah. We didn't do a very good job of putting ourselves back.

We're not really. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is it. Like, we just just. Yeah, I mean, you're very loud here in my years.

So what else is new. But I'm in it for all those different count.

That's the first time she's rude to me on this. But if you guys only knew how much, Jeremy, the the bullying ratio in real life, I would say is 80-20 you bullying me?

For sure, if that's what you'd like to tell everyone, I'm uncomfortable with that. OK, yeah, I feel good about that anyway.

Did you think that I'm just I'm just diving right in also. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. Just coming in hot when you were younger. Did you think that you would have kids by twenty eight? Probably, yeah, me too. Yeah.

Well, if I didn't have kids, I would be in the process of having that kid. So fucking actually, you know what. What? I believe that when I was in high school, I think the idea was to have a kid by 30, so I think I'm still on track. Yeah, there's something weird. And fill me in my coffee.

Maybe you could just drink it louder into the microphone here.

Any. I don't know what they're the least as. There was no answer. I'm so sorry. That was just like a drinking malfunction. Part of your puke. Yeah, a near spewing of coffee. Yeah.

Before 30, for sure.

I think when I think when I was younger, there was no world where I wouldn't live in either my hometown or the next big city over, which was Toronto, which was like an hour away, and that I would be living a far different life than I am now, that's for sure.

I had no intention of staying in Rockford. Oh, yeah. No intention. No intention. Yeah. All right. And I think I like kind of personified that in the way that I it's negative to say in the way that I treated some people, but also the way that I kind of viewed my existence in general, like, you know, as a kid, it's very obvious, like, what am I going to use? This is stupid.

I don't do this. It was like, I don't want to do this to my kid and it's inconvenient, blah, blah, blah. But also, like, that's not going to be useful for me where I'm going.

Right. So you were going to the to to where um, i.e. Chicago, New York. L.A.. Oh wow. OK, all right. Oh yeah.

There was no world when I was younger that I would be living in United States of America.

There's just absolutely no world where that was on my 15 year old vision board.

Interesting. And here I am. Yeah, I think I, I looked at the city that I was in and it was very much a slum. And it wasn't even because of like a socio economic kind of thing. It was like a I didn't really feel like I could be as creative with the people that I, I knew then and everyone that I knew that was like the best of whatever they did left. So I was like, well, I'm into that, too.

Yeah.

I mean, I feel like even on like a bigger scale of like Canada being such a much smaller country than America, like you think of like the Justin Bieber's and the Drakes and the Avril Lavigne and all of those are all in the same sentence.

Our top Canadian talent, one three don't even stay in the country.

But Lolo Jones, not Jim Carrey. Oh, yeah.

No, it's Ryan Gosling. I think he's Canadian, too. Right. I think we have all the good Ryan's I think.

Don't make that up. Let's find out. Hang on. I might have made that up, but yeah, even on like a country level perspective, I feel like you can very easily become big fish.

Small pond in London, Canada. Oh, wow, that's actually really close. That was my second choice for university was London, Ontario. You don't say. Yeah. Wow, wow. We I knew we had all the good rains in Canada. We make them good Ryans anyway.

But no, I mean, I always it's it's interesting because I feel like it's also because I think my mother was so she was never going to leave that area. So I feel like I was like, no, this isn't apply to me because I'm going to go and do this here and leave or something. And like I think the Midwest is great for raising families. There's a lot of, like, values there that are wonderful. I think there's a lot of parts that are as backwards as well.

But I think that just the cities and the coasts just attract a certain type of person. And I've always been more interested in the people that have attracted.

Interesting. Yeah. Wow. So you a big ego from the start.

I don't know if I was just an ego as it was like I don't feel like I belong in here.

Well, I also feel like to in in any kind of like arts, like I feel like it's even different in sports and like, OK, by no means am I a sports professional and I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. But it does seem like if you're really good and excel at a specific sport, there could be like a random ass state that like you might still majorly excel in.

But it kind of feels like the arts is like their specific cities.

And even like people think of New York and L.A., but like even like Nashville, for example, I feel like is a massively artsy city that's like popping off now. Music City.

Yeah. Music City. Yeah, literally. Music City. Yeah.

No, I just think that like in the Midwest, like the things that personify being a man I didn't really resonate with, like an vibrate with in the sense of like I, I wasn't interested in seeing who I could physically beat up. I, I didn't really vibe with people that saw the arts as a hobby and not a actual thing that you can do to make a living. Right. And there was no changing their opinions or minds there. And I was like, cool, I'll leave for you to leave, right?

Yeah. Yeah. For you to leave that you're surrounded. A pretty good sound things. Yeah. I was never going to sell them any other vision than that. So I feel like looking to the future, I didn't know how I was going to get there. I knew I was going to. Oh that's good. Small kid.

Big dreams. Yeah actually. Big kid. Big dreams. Skinny skinny kid.

Yes. Skinny awkward kid. Big dreams, big dreams.

Missing tooth, big dreams. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's a great picture. Yeah.

That's a great picture. So you thought that you would have kids by thirty.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I feel like, I feel like if you would ask me at sixteen what my life would look like at thirty or how old my twenty seven year twenty seven for some reason.

I also does this year count for getting older. I don't really think it does.

I think it counts as much as it's like it could. This is like a ten year period and also a one month period.

One like this year's just been so fucked in terms of like how like how I'm viewing time.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on where I am. I realize we're about to be at Christmas time. I know it's insane.

What. Are you kidding me. What do you think? I thought we were just gonna go halfsies on that that thing we were doing. I was going to Venmo you you're an event on for Christmas, some hundreds and just out of the table, just Venmo me and I'll buy my own present. I'm going to add you to my family plan on Verizon. Oh, my God.

Jeremy asked me to be on his family plan on Verizon today, and it's getting very serious.

This is getting easier. And also, I feel like my phone bill is kind of expensive, like there's got to be a better way because I feel like we want the same anyway.

Jeremy, to ask me to be on the same plane on this phone.

It's kind of a big deal, a big step in the form of commitment for one male. Yeah.

I mean, we're basically married now. Oh, my God. Yeah, OK. Anyway, I definitely thought that I would go to university in Toronto or another big ish city live in a city.

But if you didn't realize you're going to the United States, what big cities were Toronto and Vancouver or really anything else in candidates? Big, right?

Well, I mean, anything outside of St. Catherine's, my hometown is considered a big city. Got it. Like, not actually, but like even going to like London, for example.

Like that's where the university that I was looking at, where Ryan Gosling came from, where Ryan Gosling came from. And I was only going because that was Ryan Gosling's birthplace, I guess. Obviously. Yeah, obviously.

And that would have been a little bit bigger than my hometown. But even when it's just new people, it feels like a big new city.

Right. You coming from a smallish city?

I think the idea of like reinventing yourself. Oh, you are are trying to, like, run from something. But like, I want to be more like this or whatever. Like, I think there's a degree of of of freedom that our new area presents.

Oh my God. Yeah. Even going to a new school presents that. Unless you live in a town of like 60 people and everyone knows that you fucked whatever and you don't want to be known for that, like might be a few other things you could be known for besides just having rampant sex.

But you could be could be that as well.

Could be. Could be. Could be.

But yeah, I. And when did you realize when you started YouTube that like L.A. was the next move for you. There was.

Oh you know what there was there was a specific mental breakdown that I remember very clearly. And it was that in the peak of the lifestyle guru, oversaturated ten life hacks to improve your life period of YouTube.

All of my YouTube friends that lived in L.A. were filming such cute outdoor footage.

And it was just like the colorful cutesy B roll that was on the beach and they were in Brandy Melville.

And Toronto is not a place where you can film outdoors for 50 percent of the year.

And so I felt so confined and I felt creatively stifled that I just like couldn't I didn't I didn't. I felt like I was on, like, lesser ground, I guess, to even make content.

And so I would go and fly to L.A. and try and film like two months worth of content, go back to Toronto and spend those two months editing it.

So I felt like I could be making content that was on the same level as all these other girls that had access to like their backyard that was 80 degrees and sunny every day.

Right. And so I just like there was a specific day that I filmed that my hands were just numb.

By the end of the day, it was like in the middle of fall or whatever. It was like the last the very last last stretch of fall where you could film outside.

And I was just so sad. I was so sad.

And also when I graduated university, because I live by myself in a condo in Toronto, like there would be times where I would go an entire week without interacting with another human because all my friends are working nine to five.

Twenty. Twenty.

Yeah, genuinely. Who knew that would be a snapshot into the future, but I would just go so long without interacting with anyone because I was connected to people through the Internet who did not live in my city.

I had never spoken to another YouTube or content creator for majority of the time that I live in Toronto.

So I just felt so isolated and depressed that I was like, I can not stay here even just for the sake of my mental health. Right.

I think that the more that I when I stopped, I was very sports focussed as like a little little kid. And it wasn't that was wasn't good at them. But I didn't excel at them like I did on the music or performance side. Yeah. And it wasn't until I feel like I started getting good enough at either singing or playing drums or music in general, where I would either go into Chicago and play with people that were from around the nation or like when I did Drum Corps and people were coming literally from all over the nation and world to Rockford, God only knows why to do this.

And it was like, holy shit, I am the what? In my circle at home, I feel like I'm one of the most talented people, small pond. And I get into this scenario and I'm the least talented big pond. Right. And it's like I would rather be the least like talent that I remember getting so jaded when I would go back to, like, doing things in a community. But you, Jeremy, you're amazing. This is so cool and everything.

And it was like the most imposter syndrome feeling ever because I'm like, no, no, you just don't know what good is. Right, compared to these. People, yeah, but I want to get into their circle so that I can get better. Yeah, right. And it gives you something to work towards and gives you a goal when you're like, oh, shit, that person can smack their drumsticks on the drum like that.

Right? Well, it's also like it's put in a circle with with people that care equally as much about something that is nesh right. That you feel normal.

Oh yeah.

Your whole life is is that. Yeah. And I'm sure that's all you talk about and stuff and totally. Yeah. For months. Yeah. And let me sense also guys, I'm so curious just because like where we are now actually kind of close, we're kind of close I guess. I don't know. But let us know in the comments like where you are in life now versus where you thought you would be at this age when you were 10 years ago as juicy.

That's juicy. Yeah. And if you're on video, obviously YouTube's fine community number, you can text us that. That's our number for folks on YouTube. You can obviously put in the comments or you could text us to the new number, which is three two three five nine one five to six seven. That's just America. All right. No American, Canada, America and Canada. So North America is a three two three five nine one five to six seven.

It'll be right there. OK, musical theater, be right there anyway and let us know. OK, so if you've listened to like 10 minutes of any of our episodes, you know, Jeremy is Ned's number one fan, loud and proud, Ned Zebedee lover.

But babe, yes, you've been the rond. It's my turn to be loud and proud, Ned Van.

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You'll never catch Ned cutting a corner or sparing expense when it comes to CBD production. And we're excited for you to give it a try. We've a special offer for the wild till nine pod listeners go to Hello Ned Dotcom slash wild or enter Code Wild Wild at Check-Out for 15 percent off your first one time order or 20 percent off your subscription order plus free shipping.

That's H, e and Ed Dotcom slash wild to get 15 percent off your first one time order or 20 percent off your first subscription order plus free shipping. Thanks, Ned. Hey, ladies, quick heads up following segment. Not for you. You could take a quick break and just come on back in a few minutes, OK? Yep. Thanks, y'all guys. Now it's just us. Let's talk about the game this weekend real quick, huh?

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Happy holidays. So back to the topic of of babies. When you were a kid, when you were in middle school, high school or whatever, when you were thinking about this random goal you were giving yourself when you're going to have kids. Yeah. How many kids do you think at the time you wanted to have one or two.

Got it. Yeah, one or two. You um. I think two. Yeah. One or two.

Yeah. I was never some. That was like I feel like I grew up with a lot of friends that were from a big family and I was like holy fuck, the energy in here are so stressful.

Like I can't, I can't, I can't be part of this. I can't create this for myself. And obviously I have so many friends who love their massive families and want to have massive families. I just don't think that I'm that I'm not the right fit for that.

No, I have no interest in having a small army of children. Yeah. The basketball team of children like that. That's not for me. It's not for me. I would like one moose and one child, OK? And that's my order. Got it. Well, it would be hard to reverse that at this point.

Oh, no. I mean, like, that's my order. Like as if I'm ordering fast food.

Oh got it. Yeah. OK, I would like one moose in one to two children.

I just like I get stressed out. And also for our parents that are listening, please weigh in on this because this is like our parents, I mean not our parent.

Don't know, not like mom DIY. They're actually the last people want to hear. Oh yeah.

This poor husband has been massively PJI so far. What do you mean?

No, I'm just saying I would I would much rather hear the opinions of other people's parents. Oh yes. To my own. Oh yeah. So this is for anyone who's not our parents.

Yes. Yes. Anyone that is a parent. Yeah. That's not our parents.

My mom's going to send me a snarky text when she hears this. But why don't you.

Why don't you have. That's not how you sound, I probably know, but I think I get scared by the idea of being potentially outnumbered and that includes a dog.

You always go back to that. I always go back to that. And it just seems like really scary to me to be outnumbered by Dependent's.

Right.

Which includes because, like, obviously a dependent. Got it. I literally wipe his asshole after he poops.

So I think like one dog and one child, when you have, like, a million of you potentially if we were to create babies is a good balance.

Maybe because, like, I just like I don't even understand how the super moms and super dads end up taking all of their children to their extracurricular activities when there's a small army of them. Yeah, I don't know.

I really don't. I genuinely don't know. I mean, I say one to two in the sense they're like, well, I want to but one of the world and then and see how it goes. There you go. OK, yeah.

This is terrible or ok this could we could do something really bad.

Yeah. My parents always told me and I don't know how true this is or not, but it definitely scared me a little bit and stayed with me. So that's telling.

But they always said that I was such a bad baby that it discourage them from having more.

Oddly enough, and my mother would wouldn't be the first to tell anyone how much of a pain in the ass I was as a teenager, she told me that I was a wonderful child.

OK, so that that leads us out of 50 50 chance genetically of having a baby.

I don't know if it necessarily lands us there, but I will think that if if I had to guess the worst case scenario, it'll be a terrible child and a terrible teen.

All right. Oh. Oh, that's fucking fun. Yeah, OK. Or Great Baby Gray teen. Could be. Could be. I just I just the sarcasm that's going to come out of this child if we. If we.

Procreate.

That is for some reason, this is how far off I am from having children, I'm thinking procreate like the the artists app that I use to doodle things.

It's called procreate.

Anyways, if we were to procreate, never to spawn, spawn, to spawn a little a little fucker cinnamon roll thing at all.

My least favorite type of animal, the fetus kind.

Yeah.

Anyway to me the thought of children is so self seems so far off but I think to myself like I had that far off.

Well we were just talking about this earlier but like OK, so I feel like traditionally in the most generic sense of a a while said what am I trying to say in like.

You haven't given me anything. I know I've given you nothing, nothing, nothing stereotype, that's the word. The most traditional form of a stereotype is that women want children typically before men. I feel like, oh, in most cases, when you think of stereotypes that that's like always a common one you hear of.

And we were just talking about like, why is that? And you brought up a really good point that I feel like even as a woman with ovaries I had never thought of, do you go forth and share?

Oh, I mean, I think it's unfair to to put them at the same starting point because guys don't have anywhere near as much of a biological clock. That is one going to put a hard stop on when they can safely make babies one and two, as women continue to outperform men in academic studies and are open to so much more opportunity than it was 50, 60, 70 years ago. Right. It's like women are going out there getting degrees.

They're getting advanced degrees now. We are they're getting so many more jobs in positions where we are by the age of twenty seven and twenty eight.

Right. Where there's just starting to really hit their stride in the career. And then they're also expected to pop out to kids before it's high risk. Right. That's a really, really difficult situation to be in. Like the I will give my mother a hundred percent credit for like the visibility and like seeing just how short of a period I feel like and how hard and unfair it is to compare guys. Like I'll get around to it eventually to like women's like I'm trying to get two degrees and try to get a job and trying to have kids and trying to do all this shit before it's unsafe to do so.

It's it's a miracle.

I mean, fuck, I feel stressed even just listening to that, knowing that I am a part of that timeline as someone with ovaries that are again, my mom is going to fucking kill me for saying this on my birthday every year.

My mom half jokingly tells me that my eggs are dying every day, that I don't continue to have kids. And and I think we've said this before.

But my mom exclusively wants grandkids for her own selfish enjoyment, so negatively positioned, she's just like she's just like newly retired and has like the the most energy.

And she's completely my mom is ripped also. I don't know if maybe you've seen her Instagram. She has an eight pack.

She's like this little tiny Asian woman who is just so ripped out of her mind. It's insane. And she's just like peak grandparent performance right now. And she wants to really capitalize on that.

And yeah, she the next decade, Gail will get around to it.

Yeah, well no, because I'm twenty seven. So after thirty five you're considered high risk. That was sarcasm.

I know, but like I'm stressed like now, like I'm, I'm stressed about like when I was going through and saying about all these ridiculous degrees and things that were that didn't none of that really apply to you? I do.

I was for other women I'm sorry, who has a college degree between the two of us. You might hear. You, my dear, your bullying backfired, bitch, and you use that degree every day, I use that degree not at all, but that's OK.

But that is OK.

Also, degrees are much cheaper in Canada, so it feels like less of a waste when it didn't put me into like massive amounts of debt or anything.

My seven eighths didn't either. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like you were really responsible with it.

But also you get scholarships and we're so off topic. I'd like that anyway.

Anyways, I, I like even seeing my friend Aspen. She had her first baby at Kov. She added Aspen would have been like twenty three or four, maybe, maybe twenty four. I don't think she's that much younger than I am. Maybe twenty four. Twenty five. I don't know.

Anyways she just like she literally it seemed and maybe this is just the social media thing, but her pregnancy just seemed so easy she bounced back just like physically, obviously mentally is something that I don't personally know about.

But like physically, she was back to normal so quickly.

And it really is crazy because she had her baby the same time that another friend who was thirty six had her baby.

And the complications were just worlds apart, worlds apart. And the way that my older friends struggled to bounce back and how many issues she had and how terrible she felt for so long.

But see, the way you're even describing that older, right. Thirty six is not old right now. But when it comes to reproduction, when it comes to babies, it's older. Right. And I agree with you. Absolutely. It's just very difficult. But no, I, I think it's probably the most difficult part from a professional side of trying to find that balance. And I don't know how any woman does it.

Right.

And I mean, even to think about having to take mat leave and put your career on pause, too, it's like if you're working towards something your entire 20s and it's just like it's so much stress, it's just so much going on.

I mean, it's it's no secret that I think that we're so in the end stages of trying to figure out how to really support people in a professional and, like, personal side and not have one sacrifice. Yeah, I don't know if I ever get to the point where it is. It's a lot better than it was. Yeah. But I think we have a long way to go.

Oh my God. Yeah. Well, I mean, you think about like all the medical advancements that we make strides in every single day, but like this is not something that's really moved like the goalpost for when you become high risk is it has not moved.

And I'm sure like the treatments and, you know, what we know has gotten better, but like, it's fucking scary.

Scary. As a person whose ovaries are getting older, I am scared.

We'll be I just I remember reading somewhere that a the female body is meant to reproduce at like peak time at like seventeen or eighteen.

That's when you bounce back. And I'm like. We double that number and who knows, and I couldn't have less like actual like domain knowledge, but like thinking about how on top of that being the prime age, like all the and the amount of women that are on birth control for 20 years to sort of age 15, I have no idea if that actually negatively impacts you long term. I can't imagine it's good for you. So it's like on top of that, it's like adding even more probably pressure to those reproductive organs anyway.

I mean, just from experience, based on my friends who have come off birth control to have kids, everyone's been OK, like I have any crazy horror stories or anything.

But you're right, it's just like another level of, like, crazy shit that the female body has to deal with. Yeah, shout out to the guys who just fucking wake up every day and just coast literally just splash some water on their fucking face and go, how nice. Thank you. How easy?

What are we going to name our kid also? OK, like what?

What child. What what child is this? The one that we're going to have before 35.

OK, do you want a girl or a boy guy. OK, boy when I say yeah. 100 fucking percent, why just I've built up too much bad karma. Please do elaborate, because I a little fucking I don't want a little me at 15 years old coming in.

Oh, Mr. Lewis is nice to me now fuck off kid.

Trying to to have sex with your daughter. Yeah.

Trying to poke at her with that visual so much. I hate it. Is she gonna believe you?

Oh, I think I think our daughter would be really pretty if she looks anything like you. Absolutely. The level of bullshit that goes on in this man's head, I don't think a guy is it's easier to fuck up. I'm sorry, it's easy. It's harder to fuck up with a guy. I don't know if that's true.

Well, I'm biased. Obviously, you're biased. You're right. I seem to think you can just like kind of like you'll figure it out.

But can I just slap on the back and get a little or. No, I don't I don't think it's like that at all.

I mean, I just think that parenting and even just like having a kid in this generation is so different. Like I mean, you hear about all the parents who just, like, let their kid choose their gender once they start coming into themselves and figuring out, like, what they like and what they don't like, that that competition did not exist.

That competition did not exist 20 years ago, 10 years ago, it didn't exist.

And I mean, like, yeah, it's just it's just so different, which it has its own challenges, obviously, like just new conversations.

But I think I think I don't know. I could go either way. I go back and forth. I think I think I sway towards a boy, though.

I think you you naturally gravitate towards guys more.

Oh yeah. 100 percent. 100 percent. Like I have like my supertight girlfriends, but I can more casually hang out with random dudes.

The sounds fucking just so sketchy and weird, but I love hanging out with random dudes. No, but I feel like it's easier sometimes.

I don't know. I mean I agree but maybe I just have like a deep seated fear of like catty girls talking shit about me.

I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't disagree with that. Yeah. You guys are just like.

So it's a straightforward the only thing that's like weird to me that like something that didn't really exist or nor had I thought about because it didn't really matter. I even a few years ago, it's just like the thought of bringing a child into the world and that kid having a Internet filled with hours of content and facts and opinions about their parents. Oh, yeah. That just didn't exist unless you were an A-list celebrity from broadcast radio.

Like if you Googled either of our names. Right. By the time this thing comes out, there will be all sorts of blogs I just like to circle back on. The thing is the child.

Yeah. We just don't know. OK, yeah. I mean, I love that you didn't put a gender on on us.

That's very nice of you. However, however they see fit to identify themselves, right. Yeah. The point is there is a world of opinions about us and it all and they get bigger right before they even get out in the world. And to a degree, I don't know if there's a healthy way to do that in any city that's not New York or L.A. where like that just kind of just goes where like, I'm sure in Oklahoma City, like I'd have some opinions on it.

Yeah, that's true, but I mean, professional athletes have been around forever, and they would have kids that have a similar right.

But their parents probably like A-list celebrities in that city. Yeah, we're nobody. Yeah. You think about all the fans like that you have around the world or whatever, but like, go to Ralph's right now.

I know it kind of is. It's like with a mask as well.

Oh yeah. Another level of that. And don't put makeup on and have hair look like ass like I do most of the time and just no one knows who you are.

It's great hair look like ass anyway, but every girl knows what that means. Yeah I get it. I get it. It's the messy bun with baby hair is in all directions. That's exactly what it is. Yes, yes, yes.

But I just like the kid will have a preconceived notion or the kid's friends, parents or this or that or whatever will have preconceived notions of just like everything. Right. It'll it'll be interesting to navigate that.

Yeah. Like you were like Martha Stewart's kid. And it's like Martha Stewart has like this empire. And then she went to jail and then now she's Bess's with Snoop Dogg.

Like, what a ride. Right. What if I can ride like you see all the time with like kids with their parents on like social media, even like the A-list celebrities, kids who are like mom now and stop like whatever. And they're like Reese Witherspoon, you know, it's like everyone else thinks your mom is like some like God of entertainment. And you're like, stop, mom.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember you said, what did you see the other day about how. Comedians, obviously, are comedians. Everyone thinks they're so funny except for of the kids, except for their kid brother and their wife. Right, for the milk, right?

Yeah, yeah. Very funny. Anywhere except for where they spend most of their time. Right. Right.

Which is humbling. Right. Right.

It's humbling to me that, you know, I don't think you need to pull me down any more than you already do, but that's OK.

Another, like, really fucking weird thing that I have so many mixed feelings on is like the family vlogger situation.

Like, it's so weird. It's so and I have mixed I have mixed feelings.

I feel like you making a bold statement right now so that I come back to bite you in the ass or I'm going to be consistent with your. Well, I don't know.

I really don't know how I feel about it, so I can't come back in the ass. I was like, I don't know how I feel about it. I really don't.

So what are your thoughts on what you've seen?

OK, I mean, I think there's like one side of it, like someone like Casey Neistat never shows once her daughter got to be I don't know what age was, but once his oldest daughter started, like turning into an actual, like little human, he decided to stop showing her face on social media because they had an interaction with someone out in public who knew the daughter and like knew more than they were comfortable with.

So he made the decision and his family to not show her identity anymore to, you know, make that decision for her until she decides otherwise.

And so that's one side of it.

And then there's obviously the other side of like every family blogger on YouTube who blogs so much of their child's growth.

And I think there's so many pros to that side as well, like being able to connect with your audience and other potentially like if I were to have a kid right now and blogged about, you know, my kid growing up, you relate to so many other young parents who can see what you're going through.

Because it's like it's creating stories out of your day, but again, it's like it's the nonsense and the necessity of it and amenity, that's the yeah, I feel like I almost had an enemy there, like to see an enemy and anemone in New Mini, but but knowing the manatee and the minuti.

But yeah, I really go back and forth because it's like obviously they can't consent at that age and they can't grasp what's going on.

But like I don't know, I don't know what what's your what's your gut reaction to that.

Um, I it's hard I guess. Hard. Yeah. And it's hard. I don't know if I have an answer to that until I see my kid and and understand the thought of one. If we're both still sitting around in the middle of entertainment and tech or whatever and city, it's maybe one thing where that's part of the lifestyle that I feel like we just can't it's a choice because that's that we can't get away from because we could. But like, we're choosing to go down that route and and understand that there are certain conversations we'll have to have with that kid that wouldn't exist for other people.

Right. And and understand whether or not they are mature or at a stage where they can accept that and then vice versa. Like, if we were to leave L.A. and go somewhere that's like not remotely normal. And that would definitely be weird.

Right? Right. That would definitely be weird. Oh, God. Yeah, I go might I say situational situation.

If we don't make situational merge at some point in twenty twenty one, I will be mad. OK, I will be mad. Situational merge. It's coming.

It has to. But at the end of the day I don't think that it's ever healthy where when a child is questioning the motives of their parent towards anything that's not just like personal and comes work. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Well yeah.

Because you see I mean, in the news, like there's been like very obvious scandals. It's not just like family bloggers living their life and having birthday parties and doing their day to day shit.

Oh, it's the made up storyline. And they made up storylines. It's making their kids do challenges. And then like a sketchy clip, leaks where they're like being really intense, like ordering them around. It makes me just like it makes my skin crawl.

But the way you do anything is the way you do everything, right. You wouldn't do that to an adult. Right. And so it's just like I don't think you do that to a kid and you should be hyper aware of it. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer because I think there are certain kids that are just like they come out of the woman.

They're stars, but like, wow, like you you were made for this kind of thing and then no one could teach that. And there are other kids that are like, Mommy, why are we still doing this?

Yeah, and I think also in the day and age of just like social media, like a huge percentage of parents share photos of their kids on Facebook and Instagram, it's just something to be more hyper aware of when you have a massive audience.

Well, also, I think the more that video or the movie we watched about like Qalibaf above and like him and his room and his dad with the dad, he was like the actor.

He was a star, like a child star, remember? What was that movie called? I can't remember. I don't know.

But the point is like that to me, because I guess it's the intentions behind the parent that matter what is. But also at it's interesting because at our are you have a parenting podcast right now, kind of with no kids.

Yeah. It's called net zero after this.

But we do get an aerial help, but not to make it even more serious, OK, not to make it more serious, but the the notion of a kid having to live up to expectations is nothing new, right? Yeah. The notion to kid having to live up to expectations in a specific niche to get them to the next level and then hope to bring that family with them is also nothing new. But think about all the athletes out there once they make it big and the reason that they take the deal, take the check, leave college early is because they need to get to the league before they get hurt.

Yeah, right. It's interesting from this standpoint because, like, it's not they should couldn't go, you know, really left any time soon and like, hey kiddo, you to step on up. But when there is a specific expectation around what that kid needs to do to not only benefit his life, but the family's right. That is a situation where I think there's a lot more wrong or negative opportunities to come out of that than positive ones.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's interesting. Just like thinking about like all the I mean, being an actor is not a new profession. No professional athlete is not a new profession. So like that existed just not in our lives before.

It's also not constantly documented in a forum that other people can then leave their opinion on it. Right. For free. For free. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Something and it is almost considered like just like oh why didn't they meet it or like I didn't think they'd see that. There's just that window of like if you were watching the kid like try and figure out how to make layups when they're a kid and the kid sucks like they'd see that today where they wouldn't have seen that thirty years ago.

Yeah. And then they'd be self-conscious about their layups. LeBron James might not have become LeBron James. Oh, my God. If he was a family blogger. Yeah, you never know. You're so right. Family blogging could have ruined LeBron James his life.

I don't know if we necessarily print that in the paper, but. Yeah, but it's situational. It's true situation. The real question here, though, who's. To be the fun parent. And also, I do want I want some feedback from who you guys should know, because you go to the Lawrence the fun parent, I don't want to hear it. I'll take it back. I don't hear opinions.

I think. I think, one, it depends on the personality of our of our offspring. OK, let's say they're 50 50. You may 50 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 50.

You, me and like, based on their interests and their habits, um, I think there's some instances where you'll be the one parent, but I think that.

Hmm, you know what? OK, here's how here's how I want to define it, I think that you will be more of a hard ass.

I think you will be the discipline in the the parent and the disciplinarian. You're the disciplinarian.

I think on a day to day, though, I would be more of the scheduler to make sure people are getting in the car at the right time, that they're eating healthy meals and not spending too much time on tick tock, tick, tick tock.

Still around, you know, mean like I think like I would be on the with a micromanager, I would be more of the micromanager. But I think that I'm more outwardly loving.

I think you're more lenient about things that you don't think matter. Yes. To me, I make correlations for things like, oh, you're you're playing recklessly. You could do that when you're not looking at the street, get run over. Therefore, I'm going to stop you from doing that, even though we're not in that scenario, because I went that that lesson to be instilled where you would go, oh, they're fine kind of thing.

But also like if the kid got arrested, I think they call me. I don't I don't know no, I think I think if we had a 50/50 kid and it was a boy and they got arrested, I think they call me. I think the girl would call me maybe. Maybe I wish we had I wish we had, like, made up scenarios of, like, what the problem would be and and which parent they would go to. That's fair.

Yeah, well, because I think I'm I'm more I'm more like like weirdly soft then you. Are you sure you're a harder individual, OK? No. You don't mean though. Like where I'm like like not that you're not nice but like I'm like weirdly bubbly and nice to like almost everyone that I meet for the most part. Sure. And I think that I'm a little more approachable. That's that's a good word. Because, like, you're not you're not not a nice person.

Right. And you're not not a warm person.

But my humor is also like if I if I say one thing to someone and it's like a sarcastic joke they didn't get. Yeah. I'm not worried about them. Like, not liking me or like me, like circling back on them. And what I meant to say was I didn't get it right, whereas you would not you would you would hate to be seen or perceived in that light or it was going to be like, oh my God, I hurt their feelings.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, well, I'm worried it was a funny joke. He doesn't get it. It's not a big deal. Like, I'm actually really funny and that's their loss.

That was so funny. And they missed that joke.

Right. I think that's actually a decent way to to sum that up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think it was a little more approachable.

So I don't I don't know. It's going to be it's really going to be dependent on like what the little what the little cinnamon bun is going to look like and what the cinnamon bun will look like.

Exactly. No, actually it's going to be totally unrelated to what they look like. But what this little cinnamon bun wants to do with their life and their interest in their hobbies.

Yeah, yeah. I think they're going to be a sarcastic little fuck. Absolutely. You are just dripping in sarcasm at all times that like, I'm just I'm like, I don't know. I was a little sassy sometimes a teenager.

You sometimes lay it on real, real thick. Oh yeah. And to the point where I'm like, yo, hey, are you hearing the words that are coming out of your mind? Chill until I'm not. Yeah, no, no you're. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ninety five percent time. It's definitely me but everyone's on.

I'm like, yo, chill the fuck out. Like even for me that was like a little far.

I am uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable. Anyway, OK, so I'll be the fun parent. Glad we talked about that huh.

What do your name, our kid? I don't fucking know. You know what I think now is the move is to and you know what this is this maybe this is like totally off the mark, but I feel like doing a genderless name and I think any name can be genderless.

Let's be very clear about that. But I think I feel like doing Robert.

Robert, that's the guy's name. Oh. OK, OK, yeah, but Robbie or Gavin, if it was Rob, Peter. Poppy, but I don't know, I feel like I can make a girl's name out of I don't know, I think I think genderless names, though, is just like the way to go because it gives, you know, Ricardo.

OK, just go. I don't know. I don't know. But I definitely had, like, a few names, like in my head. They're like, oh, it's a cute name.

Did you want to share? I just you want to start a story. You and I don't have any to give back. You have none.

No, I'd like one that we talked about forever ago. They were like, oh, that's a good name. I forget it.

But I think we did have that conversation at one point. Now I think when we know, we'll know. We'll know this. Everybody's going to come out. And I'm like, You are an Ali.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK, I mean, I had Moose's name picked out before before he was, um, I mean, I think I had no you know, it might have been before he came out the womb. Got it. Yeah. OK, but he looked like a moose. I met him. I was like you is moose and now moose and now moose. It's a good name. It's a good name. It's a good name.

I wonder if there are any like parents who. I have a kid name the kid and then wake up one day like, holy shit, I hate the name, is this person going to be friggin Elon Musk and Grimes being like we named our kid if all nine, six, four, three, two, two or whatever the fuck. You know, I don't think that they sit around and think too much about the real decisions that much. Yeah, I don't need to be there.

Yeah. What do you know what your name almost was. I did have a name if I was a girl, but I can't remember, oh, I was almost Meggan, I don't like that show.

I just like, you know what it makes me my stomach just go like Bulbul is like I know that you've probably had sex with seven different Miggins.

I mean, all Americans at home are like, are you not going to claim me as one of your Meagan's? That's never happened. I can't I don't recall at this time.

At this time that's even worse, that you don't remember the Miggins that you slept with?

No, I didn't at this time. And I'm confident at this time that I don't remember any Miggins that I've had recreational.

So anyway. Yeah. What you want to go next, I mean, more importantly, let's talk about divorce. Oh, my God, I have parents that are still married and I am good for you, Ferragut minority, I think.

No, actually. So the rate of which people are getting married is at an all time low, which in turn is lowering the divorce rate.

That's fair. Yeah, that all links up. That'll that'll make sense in my head attracts.

Yeah I it's interesting because I mean statistics would say that we're not going to work out and that's true. Statistics would say we're not going to go.

No, it's 40 to 50 percent I think is the divorce rate. Are we married yet. Are we married yet. No. So statistics would say it would probably not like we probably won't get married. And if we do, then it probably will be 50 50.

That's so sad, that's the statistics that show statistics, are you breaking up with me? Oh, my God. Yeah, that's obviously they're very incorrect, of course.

Right. The point of this is just like I think statistics would say probably like a crapshoot, who knows? But like, to a degree, I felt worse for the kids whose parents, like, stood like stuck it out until they were in college. And like two weeks after they left, they got a call like mom and dad are breaking up. And we're like, wait, where did this come from? Well, your dad's had a relationship with the housekeeper for seven years.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How many? I've heard that a thousand times. Just like at age. I don't know for sure. I was like, so you're adopted and things are not the same or the normal and the stereotype for you, it's different. It's not any different or whatever. But like by age eight, I had this idea in my head that like, oh, mommies and daddies everywhere aren't going to stay together just because they did get married.

And shit does happen. And I feel like that's like that's beneficial for you to grow up with that, like, very real estate.

I think that I think it was because, like, I grew up in very, like, picture perfect. Can you imagine if your mom called you, like, the week after you go to college? I'm like, oh, we're breaking up. She's not I'd be I'd be devastated. Still be devastated.

Yeah, I know that would. I think that would really fuck me up.

I think that would that would seep into your trust issues with any other the guy ever.

Yeah, I know. I think so too. I think so as well. I think actually I had a friend, um, whose parents got divorced when she left for college, dated other people and then got back together. They just the lawyers couldn't figure it out, they're like, fuck it, no, I will. I don't think they got legally divorced, actually, the interest and they're just broken up and separated and yeah, they came back together.

Well, I think was a doozy when I had my last single phase, like going on dates, people that were are there already parents or had been married or whatever kind of thing. It was just like, yeah, the older you get, the more just like variables are introduced.

I forget what I was reading this, but I also and this is like a random point that somehow someone made about how like in the olden days that people would get married for survival.

Like especially for for the females, you don't mean like being a woman in like the older times, like you had to depend on even just like even in the way that it was depicted in Queen's Gambit.

Remember, we were watching that and she didn't work and she had to be like a housewife and they adopted.

I can't remember her name. What's her name. We've been also if you haven't watched Queen's Gambit, fantastic.

We watched in 24 hours, maybe, maybe, maybe even less than that. Yeah, like when my grandfather died. Yeah. My grandmother. Didn't have credit or anything underneath her name, so we needed to start over kind of thing because like he had it and like that was just like how the family worked at Windsor over. And just like that's not the case today. No, no.

But like, think about men and women who don't need no man. Right. Like you. But for whatever reason, here I am because we have the podcast. Maybe I need you for the. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Contractual obligations like think about all the women who even had the means to put a down payment on a house not so many years ago, but still needed some guy to write it for underwriting purposes like that. Hate that.

That wasn't that's not a fantasy. That was hundreds of years ago. That's what's crazy about it. But it's really not that long ago. Exactly.

And so I wonder I like I feel like that's got to be a massive factor to just like marriage rates going down.

Well, I just think that people have and I think we still have, like, unrealistic, unhealthy expectations for what marriage is. Marriage is not a fixer. Kids are not a fixer. And I think so many people are just like, well, we can get married.

And then it like it will remove these variables. And then like we have kids what folks in the care that it's just like if you're not in a good place in any variety of that, you putting a new label on it is not going to make it any healthier.

Is that based on personal experience? What not? I mean, you can't, but absolutely. And it's just like I think that to a degree we're all sitting like like I just have a statistic, of course, that's dark. And I certainly hope that doesn't happen. But, like, that's probably the realistic case here. But like, we all kind of go into these situations and circumstances kind of going. La, la, la, la, la.

I'm sure it's going to work out. It's going to be fine. And then when it doesn't, you're like, what? Huh. But like, that's the truth, the reality of it.

And I wish that we were a little bit more like real with ourselves as a society to be like, yeah, that's like you're going up against some pretty shitty odds, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. I think the biggest difference between me in my years past of like trying to think about what marriage or kids or whatever, that thing that I know that I want to do in my life, I think of like future planning. Right. I think the healthiest thing, at least for me, that I've come away with it like swinging and missing in the past.

Is that, like not hanging my hat on something that requires two people to get to the next level in the sense of I'm going to prepare myself to do those things, whether that's marriage, have kids financially solve all these things? Right. I'm going to do that and I'm going to make sure that I hit those goals. And it's not say that like we aren't working towards them together, but making sure and focusing on me, taking care of, like, my side of it and not thinking that, like, the marriage or the kids or whatever are going to be the thing that unlocks that success.

Right. So, like, the preparation is is on me. And I find like a lot of, like, healthy routines that I set myself up for. But it's not like I'm sitting around and going, well, I got to wait for that before I can get to this step or whatever it's like now, I'm going to do a hundred percent of what I need to do is that I'm ready to do the things that we need to do totally.

And I think to it's like that's a it's a great way not to have like a safety net, but to just always make sure that you are taking care of you no matter what happened.

Well, the big thing, like when you were saying earlier that like women used to get married to be safe. Right. That makes sense because God knows what was happening, that they needed 1950. They needed it. But even before, like they needed someone who's like quite literally physically larger to be this safety net kind of thing. But they also if if they are getting into the relationship because they need a safety net, that also means that if they were to get out of that relationship, whatever reason they're losing that safety net, which is not healthy.

No, I feel like physically, mentally. Just all of it. All of it. Yeah. I mean, like, I literally had a meeting or a call Zoome whatever with this new a new psychiatrist I haven't been in years and I need to like, go check on my medication and like her just going through the questions of like my diet and exercise, my job, what I do, all these things right. I would have answered so much differently three or four years ago just because of the way that my mindset was towards life.

And it was like this like moment of like, oh, this is going pretty well.

I was pretty great. I love it for us, but yeah, whatever. You love it for us, that's so nice. But it's true.

I can be the fullest amount of me and successful in me. Right. As an individual and as I'd say like we broke up tomorrow that wouldn't like some of it wouldn't be impacted. Of course it would, but I think it's healthy about it. Is that like you are doing what's absolutely best for you? I'm doing what's best for me. And those two dolphins are swimming together as opposed to just like sitting there, just like butting heads. That is not always been the case before my last relationship.

I'm sure that, like, you have like, similar feelings on that. But like, that's a very healthy sign for me.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel like I was so unhealthy that I pushed myself in this direction by accident. And I want to make this very clear. This was not an intentional, rational, mature decision. This was like out of resent. I was like, fuck you, Ahmadu me and you to her.

Yeah, she can't do her, let her do her and live that life. But he was out of resentment there was not out of a healthy, healthy place.

Oh my first six months was like, I'm going to do all the things that you thought I couldn't do and I hate it. I'm to do a better job today. And then you wake up and you forget why you feel like, wow, I have an eight pack now. You're great. Is great fun. Yeah. OK, I. Have a really important question that I think our listeners and viewers would love a heterosexual male's opinion on.

Thank God we waited till the end. We always do this. Always the juicy parts are always at the end.

But the real ones know the real ones now. The real ones, you know. Yeah. And you should encourage others to stay for the juicy shit at the end because it's always the best.

Why is it that there are and again, situational stereotyping the hell out of this.

But I just think it touches on so many common questions that even as like like someone who has a Twitter I receive on a daily basis, why is it that there are so many dudes in relationships that are scared of commitment?

So whether and this is, I think, more in like the Dusit are scared of commitment and are already in the relationship, so scared to take the next step, would that be to move in, to get engaged, to get married, to have kids?

What is it? OK, speaking on speaking on behalf of the heterosexual commitment, scared males in relationships, right, that might be a little too broad as a species.

I can't wait for the hate mail. I get this one. I certainly don't think they claim to have, like, the end all be all answer for for every guy in every situation.

No, but I'm sure you've talked to a ton of different guy friends that have been through different scenarios. So just based on your personal experience, look, again, this is not like a broad statement that's going to be true for everyone.

Just like I'm just so curious. I feel like other girls probably are as well in their relationships.

Why their due to so scared of fucking moving in or whatever it might be?

I mean, I think for a lot of guys we are control freaks, but we don't admit it. Right. And because that that admitting we're control freaks and meeting is admitting we care and that's we don't want to know. People know that we care what it's like to commit to this means we might have to give up on something else. Right. And it's like I think a lot of people any type of change is immediately like hold over the wall back, wall up, I'll pull back.

And so it's not even to say that they're not interested in committing to that one thing, but committing to that one thing means they might be giving up that other thing. Yeah, and it's not to say that if they didn't have help or a great circle to talk through, that they wouldn't realize our time and that big of a deal or like even if they went to their partner, was like, you know, I want to do this and I want to do this.

But there's this thing that I'm not done with or there's this thing that's important to me that that I'm risking. If they were to able to have that like that conversation, it wouldn't be a thing. But the change and the stigma around whatever that is that they're giving up is putting them in a situation where they don't feel like they can properly convey that fear of giving up that potential control or the potential freedom or the potential flexibility.

This is ringing very true in a lot of my own personal experiences is just for me.

You're right that it it it will keep them from even entertaining the conversation because they don't understand how they can have both sides with their current understanding. And therefore, it's just a wall.

Right. One of my past relationships, I feel like a phrase that I always commonly used was like he wants his case. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

And he wants best of both worlds without giving without giving the relationship what it really needs, but also without it, just like wouldn't let go of this fear of potential change that probably wouldn't have happened.

But they had labeled it as something that was going to be so detrimental to their their ego, their control, whatever it was. And it was just like they just couldn't let go.

Yeah. And I think it's it's unfortunately the most natural response for guys, because obviously it's the most prevalent. But at the same time, it's also the most potentially harmful for them if they don't figure out how to find that balance. That's the last thing. The last thing a guy is wants to do is a blessing from my experience, in my opinion. Anyway, the last thing a guy should do is push back, push back, push back, and then not figure out to communicate why they don't want to commit.

And then they're given an ultimatum. They do it because of the ultimatum, but they haven't had time to process that what they're giving up. And then two or three years later down the road, they realize, you know what, I was right, comma, therefore. Yeah. And it's I'm going to put you in that box and resent you because I can't do this. And I was right and I've lost control. And I'm going to make sure that, you know, every single day that I have this thing anymore.

Because you wanted this healthy. Absolutely. But that's the last thing that your side wants. That's not what the guy wants either, right? If it's a loving and healthy relationship you're going to be able to have, it really will be able to have your cake and eat it, too. Like I want to put the blame.

Yeah. Because everyone just wants to live. Just deflecting shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Like what. Just one of the this is like so top level. But like in my experience taking the next step of moving in together meant that they would give up bro time totally and being able to wake up on their own time.

And I was like, in what world do you think I give a fuck what time you wake up at?

But it's not about that. It's not about what you actually think it's about. They think. You think you are. Exactly.

And that was that was the problem. I was like, I don't have the power to control what you think. I think. Right.

No matter how many times I'd be like, I think I don't give it to me, wake up.

I think I'm one hell of a salesperson. The only person I can't sell shit to is you and my mother. That's right, Donna, we in this together anyway, it's true, you know, I know that I can't sell you on that kind of shit. You're going to come up with whatever you want, and that's OK.

Yeah. God damn heterosexual male species, man. Oh, yeah, but we have it, so we're so simple and easy, we're so simple and easy. Well, we were watching. Was it boys in the band?

Yeah. Or could the band within the band about last night with Jim Parsons, everything. It was just like listening to that those storylines unfold and you're like, oh God, I don't deal with any of this.

Oh yeah. Yeah, you have it easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thanks for that.

A little deep dive into the male heterosexual commitment. Scared brain.

Yeah. So hopefully next week it doesn't look like total shit. You know what? I think by next pod will have a wallpaper up. I don't know if the art is going to come in time, but I think we're gonna have really fun wallpaper up and. Wallpaper for sure. And then this guy, this is how we're actually getting you to come back to the podcast to see the progression of the podcast room design, because maybe we upgrade in.

Yeah, we are. We really are. We are. We really want to make sure that we make zero dollars this year on this, obviously.

Yeah. Redesignate Episode 15. So fuck, fuck our bank account.

Thank you so much for joining in this. Marlis. I am Jason Bateman. Oh, I'm. You probably Sean Hayes, because you're not girls are not. I'm Sean Hayes. Yeah, you're Sean Hayes. I'm Sean Hayes. Yeah, I like to be Jason Bateman. OK, yeah. Thank you for joining us. Martellus, this has been a smart list. Always has AutoZone commercials like always the point where I'm like I think I'm learning things about cars.

Listening to their podcast Turbay. Yeah. Isn't that great. That's all right. But yeah this has been what's marvelous again.

We'll see you next week by.