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OK, here we go. Lock the gate.


All right, let's do this. How are you? What the fuckers, what the fuck buddies? What the fuck next? What the fuck? STRs, what is happening? How are you doing? How are the kids? How's your mom doing? Everything all right over there? How's your finger? Did you think it did it heal? Right. Did you did you have to splint it? Did you have to splint your finger? Don't stick it in that thing next time.


Seriously, how's that burn?


Is that burn OK? What happened to your hair? Well, maybe maybe you wait you don't cut it yourself next time. I know it was just the bangs, but it's me. I'm just being honest with you. But what what fucking difference does it make now? Like you're going out anyways, right? Do whatever you want with it. You know what? Why don't you go into the bathroom and cut your hair in a way that will just make you laugh and laugh and laugh and then just leave it that way for a while.


And then the next time you do a resume with somebody, a family friend, they'll be like, is she OK? Is he OK? What's with the haircut? And you can just be like, what haircut? And I'll be so funny. You got to entertain yourself during these times because the creeping darkness is still among us. Good morning. Good afternoon. How's it going?


OK, you staying in shape enough with the comfort food. Right.


Enough. Enough with it. Enough with it. OK, I'm tired of feeling slightly bloated, slightly filled up. I'm tired. I'm the creeping darkness is still with us.


Look, first of all, some of you were expecting William Zebco today and Zappala had to cancel. Zamka is shooting another season of Cobra Kai. And as we know or as I know you think you can do something, you think you got an hour and then the schedule changes, you need don't. So we're looking to reschedule that. OK, it's going to happen. Today in his place, for those of you who are expecting William Zaca, well, don't be disappointed because we've got Rick Glassman.


That's right. Rick Glassman. Yeah, Rick Glassman. Are you like, holy shit. Rick Glassman? Yup. Rick Glassman.


He's a comedian who I had sort of a rocky start with. And he's got a podcast that's called the Take Your Shoes Off podcast. And we met at the Comedy Store in a, you know, was not a great first meeting, but I grew to like the kid.


The kid enjoyed himself right into my heart. And I did his podcast. And I was surprisingly goofy, surprised everyone, myself included. And and now he's on my show. He came through in a pinch. We're running tight these days week to week. Man. We got a few in the can, but some some people got to be dropped on certain days. When someone needs to be dropped on a certain day, you drop them on that day.


So Rick is here and we had a nice conversation. Nice Jewish guy, dirty, filthy Jewish kid with with the autism.


We get into it. Funny guy. You might know him from Undateable. He's on that show. It's going to be on another thing and then he does other things here and there.


OK, wait, what are we going to do with the creeping darkness? I can't take it. Is it just because I'm 57, huh? Is it is it just the nature of the age I'm at that I see the creeping darkness. I'm meditating. Does this sound like a voice of someone who's meditating? I am. I'm yoking, I'm doing the yogas, I do the yogas in the morning, do four to five yogas, yoga, Flo's, all right, that's been helping, I'm working out, but it's just the walking around the house, the up and down.


How am I so busy? How does the day get filled? I'll tell you how I'm running a fucking restaurant that serves me. Cook my ass off my cap, buster. He's the only cat left, the other two are ashes in boxes on a shelf and Buster is very talkative.


We're bonding. A lot of people are pressuring me to get another kitten, but I don't need any more anxiety. I can barely handle the dread of. That's that's the other weird thing is like so much of the dread of the ogre is gone. But then I'm back to regular dread. And this has been such a weird relief to only have very basic existential dread, like, am I going to get sick and die? Am I going to get sick and get sick?


Am I not going to get sick? Can I ever leave the house again? What is life? What do I want to do with the rest of it? Will I be able to go outside for the rest of my life? Will we be able to travel? Will we be able to run if necessary?


Do I need a gun? Not just the happy thoughts. So focus on the cat, a hyperfocus on the cat, the cat's little Sneezy, Little Sniffly, he does this.


And then he stops now there's no other symptoms but my brain, it's sort of like, does he have a tumor in his nose? Is there a tumor pressing on a sinus passages as one is collapsing? Could be allergies, I guess. And I Google cat allergies and I Google cat cold and I Google. Then I'm into some other thing. Cat sinus infection is does he have discharge? Does he have fluids coming out of his eyes? Is there black gunk in his nose?


Is he with Tajik? Is he eating? Is he not? No, he said.


And then every once in a while, not all the time. You you then he talks.


But when I have all this time, I just focus on the cat, so needless to say, we've bonded very deeply. And the thing about my cat, it's like Buster is a real character, like he has no balls, he's got courage.


I'm not saying metaphorically. He literally has no balls.


But this cat, you know, God bless him, he's still got a lot a lot of got a lot of a lot of work, you know what I mean?


And that's not even a word. That's just the Yiddish sound. My cats full of the the yeah. The good. He's he's got these four of them that get.


Yeah. Not even words but yeah.


My cat is still fucking pillow's, my cat will fuck the shit out of a pillow. Got no balls but he still got the gumption.


There's this new a nice new blanket cashmere blanket that I got in a box of swag and Buster's taken to it and he'll just it'll fuck, he'll fuck that blanket and look right in my face while he's doing it. I'll look at him. I'm like, what's up? And he's like, we mean, what's up? Don't look at me. I'm fucking a blanket. I'm like, wow, I'm going to look at you. So don't you fucking look at me.


He's like a little Dennis Hopper and Blue Velvet. He's got small oxygen masks that he handles with his part. Don't fucking look at me.


And that's how he says it as translating for the book that got. But yeah, so that's where Buster is, that he's got some sort of snazzy business and he's busy fucking pillows and blankets and talking to me and he wakes me up two or three times a night to just to wake me up, apparently. So he's doing OK. OK, who wouldn't be doing OK? Fucking blankets. Hey, Rick Glassman is here, and as I said earlier, taken a liking to him, he's difficult, but he's charming.


He's a comedian. He's got the podcast, Take your shoes off and. You can hear that every Monday if you want, take your shoes off. It's every Monday we get podcasts. We're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about the Goblin's. There's going to be talk about goblin cock, not goblin cock, but goblin cock. Hey, look, I'm sorry if it's filthy. All right?


I'm just sitting here fucking a pillow. This is me talking to Rick Glassman. I got a little cocky by taking my jacket off, my God, I left the windows open out of respect for your fear and I guess my own mutual fear. No. Yeah, it is.


But I mean, I don't know who the fuck knows.


You haven't had somebody in here in a while. So what do you when you're looking what are you looking at? Your computer monitor?


I bring in the laptop because this does nothing. I can't seem to run the garage band and the image without it just takes too much something.


I don't fucking know.


You seem to know more about it than me.


Yeah, it's always. Yeah. I mean, maybe like it seems like on your show you do a lot of video work, a lot of editing, a lot of cartoons. Yeah. Poops, farts, elves.


Goblins. Yeah. Goblins.


But you know you've got to know something to do that right. Yeah. I added live action animation and a lot of edits because you know, you need, you need to have something.


But do you do that. Do you do the lot. Do you do the animation yourself. No, I hire that out. Yeah. Well, I always want to do animation because I just had fun ideas for bits. Yeah, I did a fake animation in an episode and a guy in England named Tom. Yeah, he made the animation for me.


Oh she's got fan now.


I don't know if he's a fan or partner at this point because literally every episode I am I do pay him. Well then while he's working for you on some level. Yeah. But he did it out of the goodness of his heart because he enjoyed your comedy so much.


He's still the rate he's giving me. He must still enjoy it. Right. Because I wouldn't be able to afford what he's doing otherwise. People want to be part of it.


So you just what you send the file to him and he just does it.


Yeah. So I most of the bits are planned out while we're doing the thing, you know, like when you say poops and pisses and shits, I which I would then send him and say have the have the government be pooping on Mark and pissing on his right or something.


And in a smart way though. Yeah. Always smart and highbrow pooping and pissing farts. Yeah, sure.


So I tell them how I want it and depending on where it is in the episode, how gratuitous it could be. Yeah. And then sometimes I find bits after the fact. Yeah. And I send it to him and it's you know, removing the fact that it's a lot of like fake penises and boobs and immature comedy intentionally. Right. It gets it's a serious conversation that I have with him.


And it's it's a serious conversation about how many Vaina how many poops should it be poop or should it be based on the on the cock?


Yeah. I didn't realize you were dealing with Cox. Cox. Cox. Really? Yes. Cox is is it your cock generally.


No, it's just a cock. I do Cox and Fox with the goblins goblin cock sometimes goblin cocks.


There is a monster goblin cock that acts on its own without being connected to a goblin. Kresse It walks on its walls if free.


It's a free, free, free range cock.


Yes, it doesn't need to be part of anybody else.


You know, my introduction to this with you at the beginning is is cocks and poops and pussies and balls.


And though that is what untuk pussy we didn't mention last episode I my my guest, Seona Sufyan said get out of here. Right is an expression. So I snapped and I disappeared and the production out of it. Yeah. She snapped me back and we, she showed where I was and I was inside of a big vagina.


So you had the guy in England do the big vagina illustrations.


Yeah. And then we give notes, you know, could we make the walls move? Could we have some like some goblin sperm going through from the big cock.


Yeah. OK, yeah. Well I mean well I mean I did your show er because you were did you annoy me into it. I can't remember. How many times did you. Was it a pestering.


No I did it, I it was a slow play. It was. Yeah.


Once. Oh you asked me once. Yeah I asked you once. Right.


And then you said what about it all you shit on me. And then I and then I gave it a year and I said, hey will you come to my podcast.


Wait, wait, wait. You asked me to do the podcast. I shit on you and then you wait a year. No, no, no. You should tell me first. No, I know we can do the back story because I don't think people know, you know, how we know each other.


Here's how do you how do you explain it?


Because I because this is this is my show and I'm interviewing you. So I'd like to hear your your angle.


I mean, we might have done this on your podcast, but I think we don't share a lot of lists.


Right. So what how did you experience our first interaction? Could I.


And then what? Could I ask you a question first. The bathroom. No, OK, this is both me wanting to meet on your podcast, speaking to an audience, but also you an interviewer. Right.


I'm feeling like not defensive, but I'm feeling like I have sold a very nice, ironic brand of comedy as my introduction as this immature, which is fine because it is definitely part of what it's all going to work out.


Don't worry, we got time. You know, we're going to we're going to ease into it.


But until you said that, I didn't even realize I was worried about. Yeah, that's what's happening. There's a worry. I think I'm trying to understand something.


I'm just worried that you're a highly sophisticated, multi, very deep, multidimensional Jewish man.


Here's where I would animate just big objects walking between us.


Why is that then? Why do you temper it like that? Why dynamics?


Is it dynamic? So it really is. Are you afraid to be sincere?


No, no. I see you afraid that people are not going to watch it. If you if you don't counter the sincerity with Goblin Dicks and being in a vagina. If there was a fear and fear is the right word.


But let's say it is less about people won't watch it and more about if they do, will they? I'm insecure about making stuff that isn't special.


And and as you're special, I want to.


I want to think so. Yeah, I want to think so.


I think. I think yeah. I think I think I think you do want to think you are special.


Huh. I'm not it's not a burden at all. It's it's just validating the truth, which is, you know, we all can be at times and you just try to find your niche. So you are more often than not.


Would you call it a year? Is it a branding quest that you're looking for or authenticity? Do you think that if you were true to yourself in the most honest way, that you would be special? Or is that not even enough?


Yeah, I think that if I'm true to myself, I am special and I and the penises are true to me.


The goblin penis is what they stand for. Just just just being able to cut serious moments with comedy and and be able to have sincerity and honest moments. It goes both ways. Sure. And by just having that as a device, it ended up becoming that a device wearing out seek times to use it.


But it is so you get excited, like sometimes you shouldn't use it back. I need some dicks here.


I've never thought I shouldn't use it and didn't use it unless it was a budget issue.


But I mean, do you think I'm I'm asking to you are there any gratuitous goblin cocks in any of the work?


Yes, but but but but but you know, I'm not saying it's the riches of context, but there's always a reason to.


Yeah, sure. That that, you know.


Well, like, right now, if we had already set this up and this is my podcast, I'm having a goblin come in, but he's not wearing a tuxedo and it's not gratuitous. Right.


And it's you get to the and then you get to build this world like a Coorg or a South Park right around the interview to much to the like. The person you're talking to has no idea that they may be fucked in the ear by a goblin.


That's where sometimes it gets it gets tricky, really. Have you had pushback? Yeah. Yeah, it's less about it's less about it's less about what the animation is and more about the fact that I'm alive editing and I'm asking people to to do stuff.


So you're taking them out of context? In a way, I'm taking them out of context. I'm willing to explain it to them, but I prefer if they just trust what it's going to go.


And I thought I won't really smooth like I played along. And it was almost like we're a comedy team.


Are you being serious? Because I do feel that way now. I feel that way, yeah. There's something really pretty about having somebody come over because, you know, I didn't know each other well at all.


No matter of fact, I was I was skeptical of everything about you. Yeah. And I feared your skepticism.


Yeah, I, I, I wanted you there and also questioned why you came evil.


I mean, because you were what. What do you mean. You asked me and you seem to want me to come.


I don't know why you came because you're trying casual, gratuitous. You're charming, casual, gratuitous. Oh you would put one in there. Yeah. I was a we got to move past.


That was just a casual cum joke. Oh I see. Right. Got it. Got but that would have been animated.


No. At this point I'd have come in goblin cocks.


There has been. There has. Yeah. I don't show the come.


Oh was that where you draw the line. It's where Tom doesn't draw the line.


Please let's move past this because it's I think people need to know. No I think that this will people be like what is this show. We have even said the name of it. This is a great build, huh.


What's your called? It's called Take Your Shoes Off.


And that's a real thing because you're like a fucking weirdo and you won't let people in your house without. I guess it's not that weird.


Yeah, I would say that, though, most people I subscribe to being weird. I don't think that taking your shoes off is that I think it's weird to track shit piss and come through your carpet. I agree.


But my cat walks around on my food counter. Where do you stand with that? That's what I grew up with.


Cats have a problem with it. I've accepted that that's how people live their life when I go home, that's how it is their focus on the food count. Yeah, I just don't use the food counter the same way I do at my house, which is what you make it off.


I don't know, I, I like to make big portions and I'll leave stuff out on the counter and I'm sure I'll go back to it during the day.


Like you have a buffet going at your house. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to make I like to make things that have different sources and different toppings. Yeah. I never thought of it that way, but it's a buffet, an eating buffet and a cat is just like having a roommate. I just don't want to leave stuff out.


I don't have a computer and anything. He don't even need anything. I left out in the counter Elwick. He'll like a piece of fish occasionally, but he doesn't. What's the difference in eating and looking? Well, I guess that's true.


I'm more concerned about the cat than I am. And with me, I mean, you going to cook it? What's what? Well, that's not true, actually. Yeah, there's some bad shit in cat mouths.


Yeah, I, my cat bit me and I had a I had a catch an infection before it possibly killed me. OK, yeah.


But I had taken antibiotics. He bit me because I, he got stuck in the blind cord and instead of just cutting it I tried to untangle him and he was panicking. So he bit me for real and and I washed and everything. But cat bites. I don't know if you know they can they have some serious fucking germs in them and you can get this infection that goes through all of your skin.


I didn't know.


And it started to happen like I was on Idjwi and people were like, you should get that looked at. It was red. And I went to my doctor and she was like, You got this in time. This could have been bad. Like my cat could have fucking killed me. Compromise my life.


Oh, that's less a counter problem and more blind's problem. I guess that is a blind's problem. But next time I'll just cut the cord.


Yeah, I'm just going to ask, do you feel that that's kind of a microcosm of your personality where instead of just taking the easy route, you want to untangle everything and get your hands dirty?


No, I don't think that that I think that's an interesting metaphor that you tried to make.


Thank you. We'll be right back after a word with someone saying, this is my show.


No edited in here to edit what in my dad's right story. No.


And we're back. That's Marshall Rugg Gallery in Cleveland, Ohio. Did you see that? Do you think you're on your show?


No, I. I just felt good with you. And I figured maybe maybe like my dad drugstore, maybe we'll throw it in there. We brought him customers.


He sold a few a few rugs. I know, I know at least a few rugs, but not enough to where I play. I do commercials from another year or so.


You're a Cleveland. You. Yeah. So where were we.


Oh no, that is not a microcosm. My, my. It was impulsive for me to untangle them. I didn't think to cut it like he was panicking. And in that moment my brain was like it's because he's tangled untangle. It didn't go the next step to like he's going to bite you and possibly infect your hand, perhaps let him fucking squirm for a minute more and go find a scissor to cut the cord.


Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. But I don't think that that means that it's a general disposition of mine to untangle.


I'd rather not. Why are we doing this right now then? Why are we untangling you this? What do you mean?


I feel like we're untangling. I went on dangler. You're like an untangle. I can't I lose patience with it. I everything gets tangled and if I were to untangle her, it's almost like a hobby.


It's like I could do a bit about it.


I think about how there's so many cords in our lives. Chords, literal cords are constantly getting tangled up and fucked up. So is like constantly untangling chords. The same is doing like Sudoku. Like, am I getting equal amount of like mental dexterity from the act of untangling the chords in my life as I would if I were playing a game with boxes that I don't understand?


Well, I think the difference is Sudoku always comes to you intentionally tangled where so the spontaneity of it didn't diminishes the the mental agility exercise of untangling.


Well, there's a mental agility of it, which I'm disregarding. I'm just talking about having a clean life. Right. When you untangle something, it's now untangled and and also when you untangle something, you get better at untangling kind of. So it's not like every day you wake up and you have to clean the same mess over and over again.


No, but there's always knots. And that brings us to my next point.


Yeah. You want to do another one again, so I'd rather not. So take your shoes off. Yeah.


Is with Rick Glassman, huh? I've seen bits and pieces that you put up on Instagram of your family, and it seems that you grew up with some fairly not run of the mill, but not unusual to me. Middle class Jewish maniacs. Oh, is that right?


Yeah. I mean, they weren't not unusual to me either.


But I mean, as a Jew who's dealt with Jews of a certain ilk. Yeah.


Your your family seems to fit some of that. You know, they actually they strike me as more.


Kind of like preretirement Florida juice, which is interesting, prophase. Yeah, I don't have Florida retirement Jews in my family, so I don't really I know the cliche. I don't know what those are.


I just mean, it seems like they have a good time. Enjoy sports. There's a lot of them around.


Yeah. It feels like there's a lot of them right. Right now, including those four of them. Four for mom, dad, grandma and uncle.


The restaurant in L.A., you got you got Glassman's Jews out here. Yeah. Who? I got my aunts.


I got my brother. I have three cousins, your aunts out here. My dad's sister moved out here before I did.


To do what? Get out of there.


I guess she and my uncle Paul, who passed away a couple of years ago, they're in the business and they were in show business. My uncle as a writer, he just wrote no. He passed away about about two years ago. Coming up.


Sorry, buddy. Thank you. His how young young late 60s was terrible. His he and his writing partner, Danny Bilson just did the five bloods.


Bellson No, he's Mayo Demesne, Paul Demayo de Mayo and Bellson de Mayo and bills five to five bloods and a lot of stuff. The Rocketeer, a lot of cool stuff. But The Rocketeer, I kind of remember that.


Yeah, the kid's movie right with was Dennis Quaid. And that was it about a it was like the The Rocketeer is like Iron Man.


Oh right. Oh. So it was actually a superhero movie.


It wasn't based like on a kid's dream or something.


I don't know the origins. It was an old comic book. I know that. But I thought that the the movie was about a kid who liked The Rocketeer or something.


No, it's about a guy who becomes The Rocketeer. Oh yeah. Who was it? I don't know. I don't know. It wasn't I wasn't. No, OK. But he became the Rocketeer and put his arms tired. His arms. Yeah.


I'm sorry I stepped on that because you probably have got a huge laugh cut to the people listening to it. So wait, so how many you got?


One brother. Yeah, one brother. Older, older. He's out here. You're a younger brother. I'm a younger brother. Yeah. That explains a lot about who you are. Yeah, probably. That's one thing I haven't really untangled. Yeah. Feels to some things feel too clichéd to look into really.


Like what being a Jew having. I don't know what you just said that felt felt Semitic being a Jew. You, you had your coffee ready for a sip. Take after Joe. What were you listening to when you drove.


It wasn't Barry Manilow was it. Yeah. Good here. Why why would you do that?


I have a mix on my phone that that is just what I get. I work out or I try to whenever I'm trying any of this.


None of what you're saying right now is explaining Barry Manilow. Yeah, I misunderstood the question. I thought you asked if I work out anything I do that I listen to music to get prepared for. I listen to soft music. I work out the soft music, I go to sleep, the soft music. I come over here to soft music.


And boy, are my arms tired there. So you got it. You got it out that time. The guy who was coughing before, because it's actually pretty it's pretty good.


It doesn't make sense this time. Yeah. Yeah. So Barry Manilow, something you grew up with.


No, just soft music. Don't stop it, man.


How do you know about Barry Manilow? What are you, 12? How old are you. Thank you.


I'm thirty four. Thirty six. Really. Yeah. It's getting getting up there. Yeah.


Whenever I hear something that is soft, when I hear something that soft I shazam it. Yeah. Yeah. Really. So what else is in your mix. Reanimate now just as Flass a dick that I'm qassemi and I know in the moment it's not going to be worth it, it's going to cost me a little extra money and a dick. Yeah. Yeah.


We're not even doing video which is interesting that you're still thinking, Dick, how do you how do you blend when you're talking to somebody, the difference between an interview and a conversation? I mean, I know the difference is when you're I just listen to, by the way. And if we don't talk about it here, I want to talk to you about it either on the podcast or rapper. I don't know if it's prep. I just happen to listen to your Larry King interview.


And, man, does that.


I mean, I. I didn't know you very well. Maybe we should talk about how we met, but I didn't know you very well. I knew you as a personality. Came to you before you came to my house. Oh yeah. Yeah.


And then after you came over and I'm feeling my eyes getting water, even talking about it, I, I liked you in that hour and a half that we spent not I had no expectations, weren't met.


And I didn't realize the expectations I had of you, which was, you know, just a grouchy guy which exists. You know, it's I guess it's part of the Jewish cliche. Yeah. But the amount that you played with me and did the snaps and the edits and we never talked about it before. Really. No. And then I just I just liked you so much. And then and I listen to your podcast since differently, which is I mean, I guess it makes sense, but just like as a person, as a human, as opposed to just like this, this two dimensional thing that I don't quite know.


Yeah, right. And listening to it was older, it was twenty thirteen, right? Yeah, but listening to you going to his door and just it's it's a game over at this point. Right.


And then you went through it and then you you, you get whether whether it's true or not, you were able to continue the conversation. Then he seemed to forget about it for a minute. It's really inspiring because it doesn't I don't I don't leave that discomfort that quickly.


And what made you record at the door before?


Well, I used to do when when I did those ones externally, when I when I would be traveling, there was sort of a precedent set, like I would sometimes do the intros in the car driving like to the Robin Williams episode. There were there were actually a couple of early episodes that we did in the car, like I interviewed Maria Bamford driving. So it wasn't that unusual at that time for me to make the intro happen in real time.


And I never knew if we'd use it or not. But it turned out to be kind of interesting. But I know what you're saying.


And I think that what you're it's I still want to connect.


I mean, there have only been a couple of times where I've remained defensive.


Like, what what could have happened is he said, you know, he was being a dick and then I would have just sort of surrendered to that.


So once I think once, like anything else, when that happens is if the conversation starts to unfold, then it goes away, you know, but if he was going to be like, why no?


Yes. I don't know. Yeah, good.


Then it would have been a problem.


But somehow I charmed him enough. I relaxed him enough and he did the thing.


I think people like that. It's a great interview. So, Cleveland, how Julie, were you in Cleveland?


I didn't know how it was until I went to college because I, like you, grew up like you're thirty six. How old are you, brother? About to be thirty nine.


So you have the exact same distance between you two as me and my brother. Maybe that has something to do with your get along.


Yeah, my brother's two and a half years younger than me.


Interesting because my brother and I, I guess we get along fine now, but we just get along. Really know why he.


What's the primary difference is it tastes. I'm feeling myself do something that I'm not I don't want to be, but I'm I don't I mean, no, no, no.


I don't know how much I feel comfortable talking about that.


Not because it's secretive, but because it's it's a longer conversation. And I don't want to paint anybody in a picture that's negative because I remember things the way I remember them. But I also, looking back, understand my perspective as a kid without necessarily taking into consideration of his perspective. And but I could just in a simple way, I could just tell you from my feelings as a kid, I was, you know.


Yeah, I'm definitely being defensive here. That's right. You know, it's a big brother little brother thing.


But I was I was scared a lot and bullied and by him, you know, the fear comes from part of that. But I had still do. But I had some very serious OCD as a kid. Yeah. Not just in my rituals, but also in in the things that felt still today. Logical of just keeping things a certain way, I'm sure. And, you know, basically he he was a cat on my countertops. All right.


And my whole life was it was chaos. He was chaos. And you were cleanup. Yeah, I took on that role. I guess he's a brilliant he truly is.


You know, I know people say that about their family, but maybe I have a bias. I think he's the smartest person I've ever met.


Oh, yeah. Was he in the business? No. He has restaurants right now. No, here he is. I don't. Do you if you've been to the Greyhound.


Oh yeah. Over in Highland Park. In Highland Park in Glendale. And yeah.


That's your guy. Yeah. Pizza. Yeah they do pizza. Burgers. Right. Cornbread. It's just I remember cornbread. My father was in the restaurant business growing up and his no kid his. I like cornbread. This is the best cornbread. It's my. Yeah.


I want to get Bragge my dad, my dad used to do rebe cook offs and cornbread and and Michael Jordan and Isaiah Thomas and Laimbeer they all came and he's got a well known pit master with a pit master.


Oh no. Pit master is like a barbecue pit. Yeah right. What are their pit masters back in the day.


I mean I think they're just a name for a guy that uses a barbecue like I have like a smoker. Did he have a smoker. Yeah, yeah.


It was a sports bar and grill. It was a smoker like. Oh so he had a real barbecue joint. So ribs and cornbread, ribs and cornbread.


So I think, you know, theoretically you could be a pit master if you're doing ribs.


Yeah. I'll tell you right now, he's he's more than a pit master. We'll be right back with a word from our sponsor. Put it Marshall Road commercial here, baby. Marshall Rug's in Cleveland.


Yeah. If you're looking for just the right flooring, you need choices. And Marshall carpet one, you'll find thousands of choices, including carpet. Hardboard. So make the right choice and visit Marshall, Carpet one and regality, and we promise with more than 50 years as a family owned business, we've got you covered. My brother's younger, but he was a jock and I wasn't, and he his whole life was about tennis, like literally his entire childhood was about tennis and him and I were so different in behavior.


But now we're like so like it's painful.


Why would people that you serve as a figure of speech, you said, well, you just like.


Well, no, I mean, it's like if you can feel each other that deeply, you know, like I know when he's gone through, like I can hear it. Like, that's the weird thing about growing up in a family without boundaries is that you kind of get a sense pretty quickly.


That's a great way of explaining growing up in a middle ish. I think I'm more upper middle. I don't want to lie to class Jewish family. It's the lack of boundaries. Control, by the way, I think it's great.


It's your show. You think the lack of boundaries is great? I think I think growing up in a place, I think it's a fine line. I would equate it to getting antibodies.


Interesting. I get OK, I'll talk you through that. But it seems like, though, the your parents are loud.


My mom is loud, but my mom is loud in a way where it works because she's so kind to where it's loud kind have gotten better over the years.


Yeah. I came into some, some pretty big self-awareness almost four years ago now, but my loudness was, was very attention seeking and aggressive without knowing it. And my mom's loud is just wanting to help people and maybe they need to hear me.


Yeah. So the boundary issue was my yeah.


My mom was, my mom was loud, but everyone loved her and everyone in the family and my your dad my dad is you know, he sold cornbread and his and his jokes under his breath.


All right. But what's his what's his boundry wiseness look like.


The boundaryless is more I guess I guess it's my mom. So she you know, everybody everyone had to react to her.


You know, I'm figuring this out with you, so could I change and add to my answer? Let me clear up. We'll be right back. That's against the rules.


Yeah, I'll bend the rules this time. You you can change and add to your answer now, because.


Yeah. You know, I'm trying to I'm trying to define something when I really only know it through my eyes from then. So just trying to think of that is my brother would be.


My brother would you know, I am the way I am and things needs to be a certain way and clean, and my brother would be. He played sports and outside in the mud, ironically enough, getting some antibodies and he would find a mechanic in the dirt and eat it to get a laugh. Right. And he would come in and he'd have some dirt under the fingernails. He's a boy. He plays you get dirty.


Yeah, sure. Mike and I have the dirt. Sure. Or maybe a Rahzel or a Skittle. Mike and I was a mechanic.


One of the two at. Sure. And we would have Eminem's on the counter. It's like decorative. But people, you know, eat Eminem and my brother. Like Bowie. Yes. Yeah. My brother would like the way Eminem's feel going between his fingers because, you know, listen. Feels good.


Yes. Like a waterfall. Sure. Something. But they're not his waterfall's. So my brother's got dirt in his fingers. He's touching all the Eminem's is eating out of the cereal. He's on the chips and the cereal, too. Yes.


Cereal boxes and digging for the price of it. Yeah, I guess I wasn't one who needed the prize. And I'm sorry if that was a joke you were made. No one needs the price, but you want to get it out.


I want to have cereal that doesn't have dirt in it. So I'm now I'm now sitting on the couch feeling like I'm forced to keep inventory and watch. And I started to only eat the cereals that my brother didn't like. Right. And I felt like I didn't have control over the things I wanted because I was limited while I was building this resentment of watching my brother. And I want to say bad stuff.


He's a kid. He's a little boy, his brother stuff. It's fine. We share a bathroom. Yeah, this is on the on the towels. He pissed on the towels, the cat piss on the towels. If he left the towel down of the cat, pissed on the towels.


But your brother just pissed on the rim of the toilet if you even hit the toilet.


But I got to tell you something. He's changed. You got to check out the greyhound. It really is delicious and clean. Yeah. I don't know why I'm uncomfortable about this. It feels like I'm talking. I am. I'm literally talking about someone I like.


The idea of the the idea that you brought up about growing up in a boundaryless home gives you antibodies to what?


I'll tell you what I mean. I like the idea and I'm just wondering if we can flesh it out. Yeah.


So much like germs, you could get too much and get sick of it. You don't want to have no boundaries because you don't you need to learn them. And I think that the only reason I any success I have in my life is because of the combination of of knowing that I have to stop somewhere but but being liquid with other people's boundaries.




You know, when you come over. Yeah. In a similar way. You said if Larry King acted a certain way, you would then have to mirror that. But at the same time, it is your interview and you're in control. And if you were to come over and I snap for you putting on a fake mustache and you're not into it and I keep it, I don't recognize your boundary.


Right. It's game over. But if I assume your boundary based on how I've been conditioned, people's boundaries are, yeah, I wouldn't be able to push it that far. So by being comfortable and testing boundaries and playing with boundaries and experimenting. Right, you run the risk of stepping over them at times. Sure. But you also learn how to not stay so tight into what you think comfortable is right. And part of this awareness that I've come into that I'm super grateful for is making people uncomfortable, making myself uncomfortable.


It's an operational cost of doing what we do, but it's not about making people uncomfortable. That is the problem in my opinion. It's about recognizing it fast enough and deciding why you're doing it.


Yeah, I mean. Well, right. So you're talking about stand up in terms of what we do, but I think I mean that very interpersonally.


OK, but I also stand up like I'm tracking what you're saying specifically to stand up because stand up is something because I often try to figure out why exactly I chose that my childhood, really what I was trying to overcome and what terrified me more than anything was being embarrassed.


I want to be embarrassed, and my mother used to embarrass me, I found my parents embarrassing and I always felt embarrassed and I was terrified of being embarrassed or somehow and they neither one of them had boundaries, but it was different. It wasn't so much yelling as much as it was emotional indecisiveness. Mm hmm.


So it's kind of floaty, you know what I mean? No discipline, no real principles, not much guidance. Everybody was just sort of it was amoebic, the family unit.


So, you know, where where you are at any given moment, emotionally, self wise. Right. Yeah.


So but there's something about the way you're talking about this immunity to figuring out because if you have no boundaries or you grow up in a fairly dangerous place, that means you probably get hurt often early on.


Right. Because of the sensitivity of that. And then all of a sudden you get reactive.


So either you're going to be defensive or hostile or preemptive to be defensive. Right.


But but conversely, it does enable you to absorb people in a different and more all immersive way. And once you get the hang of that, you can sort of dictate the the intimacy of the situation quicker than most people and also have it be relatively inappropriate, quicker than most people. And then you have to navigate that. Yeah.


So being yeah. Being inappropriate and making somebody uncomfortable, not being connected with somebody, you know, there's only so much we control and I really believe it's more than most people think.


And in terms of interpersonal relations. Yeah.


And it really comes down. Yeah. You can do it until the other person gets tired of it.


That could take years. Well yeah, I guess if they get tired of it. But but people's feelings are heavily based on subconscious expectations or maybe conscious, but at the least expectations. Yeah. Mitigating expectations is the key to understanding somebody's boundaries because a true boundary isn't about expectation, it's about where they feel safe and comfortable. Right. So sometimes they could be uncomfortable because an expectation is not being met. Right.


I, I got a diagnosis four years ago that I had ASD level one, which is commonly known as Asperger Syndrome. Yeah.


And which is a funny word. Yeah. Asperger's animated dick on an evening about you know.


Huh. No, but if this were my podcast you just thought of that now.


No, I've been sitting on it and after that diagnosis I've learned a lot about I had to go to I don't know how much time we have, if it's worth getting into, but I went to a lot of special classes, special schools kicked down years ago in grade school and high school.


So before you knew you were aspro, I was diagnosed with a whole bunch of different things, like the ADD, the ADHD, the OCD learning disability, which isn't the specific diagnosis that manifests itself because you want which one any of them like?


Well, what was the symptoms of? Why were you seen as a problem? What were you doing or what were you doing?


Well, hyperactive, asking a lot of questions, asking questions to where teachers thought I was making fun, not understanding.


So earnestness was mistaken for sarcasm. And my I developed sarcasm in a way to try and control how people see me. If you if you're going to think that I'm not, you know, let me at least try and make it funny. Let me find new ways of asking questions or trying to explain myself until things work. I never picked up on social cues. I didn't know that I wasn't picking up on them.


I had Aspergers different than autism. Right. Asperger notes. So clinically, they've they've Asperger's is no longer definition anymore. It's Asperger's. It's autism level one. OK, so asd level one, two and three.


So Asperger's is level one, level two more challenges.


You hoping to get there. No. OK, now can I try to untangle something. Yeah. What's the what's the intention behind the joke of wanting to get there.


Oh because it's like when you think of levels.


Oh so like two is better than right. Got you. It wasn't like then you'll have like a bigger niche to explore.


No. No. That was where you went with your insecurity. Yeah. Mine was a no joke. You went deeper that's why. Yeah. It was an insecurity. I've talked about it on my podcast, maybe five of them. I do get insecure talking about it because of but people's understanding or lack of of what autism is. And I find myself either becoming a spokesperson for something that I can't be. Yeah. Or defending a diagnosis that has changed my life for the better because people think it is something that it's not necessarily.


I think like what's interesting to me is, is that you've learned how to utilize and understand your your. Compulsive and also your earnest curiosity, which I think as a symptom, I imagine, of of the autism would be overwhelming to some people, but you understand it enough to be charming in it and also see the humor in it. You have enough self awareness around it that you don't feel uncomfortable with it and you can make it funny even.


Yeah, yeah, yeah.


It's not only do I not feel uncomfortable with it when I got the diagnosis, it validated so many things of like, oh my God, if I had known that I wouldn't have done that more.


So this is why that and it's not my fault and or I could understand how to improve upon it.


I've got to go apologize to some teachers and ask people who should apologize to me to come on my podcast.


But I bring that up because one of the things I learned was how much at any neurotypical person I'm sure could relate to this. We think something. So we assume the other person thinks that you are sharing the same point of view. I'm cold. You're cold. If I'm feeling this isn't going well, you are.


And that's not true, though. Of course it's not true. But I'm saying that mindset of not recognizing that there's other perspectives, a common symptom of it is of autism is is a challenging to adapt to certain situations and an inability or difficulty to recognize that people think differently than you. It's white, right? People get that's why they get frustrated so often or why they seem to lack empathy because autistic people. Yeah, OK.


And I one of the things that I've been I guess maybe the biggest thing I've been focusing on and where this podcast has been such a blessing for me is being able to ask people, I mean, in a small way, asking you what was the intention behind that joke? Right. I would always ask questions like that, but it could seem aggressive if I were to say, what's your point? What do you mean? I'm always trying to understand.


So when I found these things out and then I was single and I was dating, I was able to make jokes, but they were very inspired. I smoke weed and I like to smoke pot. But when you're on a date, especially if it's somebody who smokes.


Right. And to be able to say to somebody preemptively, right, I get a little goofy, you know, and right.


And I sometimes I don't know when I go a little far. Yeah. So I'd like to ask of you if you're ever feeling like this is a little bit too much and you don't know to handle it, give me the benefit of the doubt. And just like, nudge me.


When did you decide that comedy was somehow the answer for you?


So I was telling you earlier, I didn't know that I didn't pick up on facial cues and I didn't recognize people's hence they would say not today, Rick, you're busy for two friends. I would just think, oh, he can't today. He's busy for three years. Right, right.


But something I always did understand was a laugh. I knew a laugh was comfortable because not only is it nice to get a laugh for the obvious reasons, it was the it was one of the few times where I felt confident. And being on the same page with somebody wasn't just with me making them laugh if we were laughing together.


What did Harry Shearer say to me? Like the great thing, the reason people do comedy is you can control why people are laughing at you.


Mm hmm. I like that. Yeah. And a more specific level you could control you can control how people feel about you for a minute because even somebody who doesn't like can laugh a minute.


Maybe you can control it for like ten, fifteen seconds and then you got to keep going. Yeah. But the dopamine lasts longer than the laugh. Sure. Put that on and then. Then the door is open. Yeah. Got it.


And then that's why you keep doing it and secret and it's right, it's, it's, it's a vicious cycle.


If people go like do you always have to be funny. And then all of a sudden you're in a different conversation.


Yeah. Do you always have to be on the one I get. Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I was shut down.


I was trampled by a couple of girlfriends way back with the because like when you're comic. It's your profession, so there's sort of like that weird blackbelt ism to it, like, you know, I'm blackbelt getting laughs, but I can't use it in public. I can only do it on stage professionally. But I don't think it was funny.


But I've had girlfriends early on who were like, why do you have to talk so much more about why do you have to dominate the conversation? It struck me.


What is your what have what have you figured out since then? Why do you have to. I don't. I stopped a long time ago. I mean, I think the reason it stuck with me, it was was correct. And it really wasn't my nature. It was overcompensating. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's annoying when people do that.


Be careful of letting other people's definition of your identity. Distinguish between the difference of overcompensating and just being in compensating because she's not wrong, but she might be the wrong person for a long time ago. Boy.


Well, for me, I appreciate you. Thank you. Well, you know, I have to find the difference when somebody thinks I'm being something that they don't like, they're not wrong. But it doesn't mean I don't like it.


And that doesn't mean that it's not me or it's not you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it could be it could be as simple as like, well you must not like me and that's OK. Yeah. Now get the fuck out of my house.


But how, what is what is the aggressive. I apologize. No, no it's OK because it's hypothetical person. Yeah. But it's finding that difference. It's knowing when to untangle of this person doesn't like this part of me but this is who I am and do I like this. Who I am.


And also I is is she right about what I'm doing right now or is this part of me right. Because like sometimes when you're with somebody you're doing something that isn't innately you because you're trying to accommodate them or charm them or impress them. I get the most uncomfortable when I find myself doing that.


Yeah, that's that's what that's that's a big challenge of podcasting. Sometimes that happens. And at least for me. Yeah, I'm proud to say for better and for worse, I am who I am most of the time. But sometimes I find myself in a situation where I'm trying, either trying for the person, trying for the audience, trying for the post-production animation. Right. But when I'm not present and I'm trying something, I catch it. That's when I get embarrassed.


Let's get out of the head for a minute and get into into real life. So you we understand how you understood that you liked getting. Laughs. So what was where did you start doing comedy? In Cleveland. Cleveland. Yeah.


That's where it's the first stand up that I did was at the Cleveland Improv and I was doing improvisation theater as well.


Oh, you were part of a group, huh? I was. Part of that is they were I don't know if they would have thought that. I do remember feeling just like a lot of groups that I felt like I was forcing my way in some way.


So they were a group and then they were improvising and you were just jump in.


They were a team and they they held one. What's that? Two of them. There was, I don't know, like eight oh big eight people. One team. Sure. And they had like they had practices every week. Yeah. So their performance, they had a performance every week and a practice every week. The team did the performances, there were more people and I was one of the one in the practice. Yeah. And I would just, you know, show up and do some improv comedy.


Yeah. And you like that. I loved it. Yeah I did.


That was what I was doing for the first four or five years before standup took priority.


And when when did you start doing standup?


April no. March 4th, 2007. Twenty seven. Like when did you start wearing the t shirt about being a paid regular.


Oh I'm not part at the Comedy Store so yeah I made that over Thanksgiving of recently. Yeah. Oh okay.


I'm not part of the Comedy Store was a conversation that happened on one of the episodes and then people would bring it up.


Why is any past or whatever in nice ways it was, they were nice things, but it wasn't an identity of mine by any means.


Sort of a joke. Sure.


Yeah, but but then it was like, you know, everybody is in past somewhere they have their hurdles or obstacles.


But here in this town, the weird sort of like being past at the comedy, it's like the cellar getting past that. The Cellar in New York. Yeah, right.


There's you know, there's two types of comedians. Yeah. Past at the cellar. Not past. Past at the store not. Yeah. Oh you're.


Oh you're past. I want to come to my you want to come to my podcast. Oh hey. You should get Rick last one. Is he at the store. Is he. I don't know. Why is he funny. I don't know what his status is. The story is. I think he does bring her show.


Huh. Yeah. There's a stigma, there's a stigma to doing bringers shows and then there's a stigma to not being paid.


But what about the Alkene? You weren't part of the old team.


I'm not I don't I don't know if I'm being hard on myself, but I don't know if I'm part of any scene. I just you know, I got on a television show a few years ago and it was like, how did he find you?


Who see, Bill the Improv.


Bill Lawrence found you at the Improv. Yeah, you're doing standup.


I was doing a Will Smith impression. And this was like for those people who don't know who I'm talking to, it's Rick Glassman.


I'm resetting my radio. Welcome back. Rick Glassman is my guest. And you might have known he was on the show Undateable, which was on for three seasons, three seasons, then canceled for reasons that a lot of people don't understand.


Cut to a clip of us having a meltdown on set racist meltdown.


Uh, yeah, Bill. Sorry. On the racist meltdown. Yeah, I feel like if if I see I see I. That's a joke. That didn't really happen. No.


Like just to say why would I know when I was like I canceled Cuthill just for the reason everything gets canceled.


Not enough people are watching it. Yeah. All right.


Yeah but it was you and Daliah and punches and then. Yeah. Morente Yeah. Yeah.


Bill saw me. I was doing some weird stuff. Yeah. And he said I like how comfortable you are. Uncomfortable moments and. Sort of your place, that's your thing, that's your hook. Yeah, set an anti-Semitic remark. No, not at all. Have nothing to do with who knows. I have more to do with. That's what you're known for. Hey, man, I just made everything uncomfortable, but I'm going to sit in it for a while and make you guys love me.




You know, that's the part where the podcast has helped me as I never wanted to make people uncomfortable. That's just a symptom of the joke. You know, that true. That 100 percent.


I always want people to be in on it with me. I just can't wink to them and say, hey, because then it doesn't work anymore.


Yeah, but but but that goes back to this sort of idea that everybody sort of knows where you're at.


That's why that's why it's not a flawless art form. They don't know where I'm at. I have to find ways of telling them, showing them without telling you.


We're going to we're going to end up. Where, you know, you and I sort of first met, that's where we're going to end up OK with with what we're talking about right now.


I don't know if it's the come down or just the conversation, but I don't know how I feel right now. What's the matter? I don't know.


I can't tell if I'm insecure about talking too much or what. Not saying the right thing. The bottom just fell out on you. It didn't fall out.


But I'm realizing. Oh, it's not it's not cement, really.


Oh, no, no, no. Everything's going good. Don't, don't, don't don't you I Ron Perlman. I almost lost Ron Perlman on here.


He had a heart attack.


Now he just he just fell into an insecure hole for a minute and and it was touch and go.


I don't know if this is an insecure I think this is just cost of doing business. It's an energy thing. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not buying it. I tell you.


I tell you where part of it comes from. I'm aware of it. What? You just exhaled the same way my doctor did before. He told me he doesn't like when I come in.


By the way, let me tell you this quick story going. I ask a lot of questions, OK? I would go to the doctor a lot. Yeah, I would get STD checks even if I hadn't had sex since the last time I got one because I was in the doctor's office.


I do. I am a recovering hypochondriac. I understand your plight.


I was asking about I had shoulder surgery and I asked my doctor a question about my soldier, my shoulder. He's not my shoulder doctor, but he's a doctor. And I'm there and I got some inflammation issues. I got a question, doctor.


And he goes, What you just did?


He went and I said, It seems like you don't really like when I come in here. Yeah. And he said, When I come to the door and I see your name is on the clipboard, I do take a breath.


And I said I said, am I? I said, I spend no more than ten minutes at a time with you. He goes, Yeah, but there's too many questions.


Yeah. A year later I get this autism diagnosis. I go back to him, you know, I'm basically, you know, like twirling my my my wife. Yeah. Hello Doctor. And guess what?


Guess what I found out he apologized and he said that makes so much sense. And since then I don't see this doctor anymore. But I did for another year plus.


And he was so nice to me and he was talking to me about baseball. I don't watch baseball. I'm not interested in baseball.


Basketball's your thing, right? Yeah, but also basketball only, but not so much to watch your mother's football, right? My grandma.


Your grandma is football. My mom is Andy Griffith. OK, but yeah, he was just so nice. And there is a lack of course. Yeah. OK.


Of example of expectation where I'm the same guy asking the same questions, but now this guy thinks I'm, you know, whatever he thinks autism is.


So now he's like, hey man, did you see the that I couldn't even think of a baseball. The Dodgers like he likes numbers. The autistic guys. He likes stats.


Yeah, well, just take my blood and tell me what I have going on in my deck. Wow.


Never had any STDs, did you?


I've had, you know, little things, little things here and there that, you know, nothing that a pill didn't take care of.


Oh good. Yeah, really.


Here's where reanimate my dick from 2014. Coughing explaining this. We have to understand it was a different time. Yeah, sure. Yeah.


But you're still with the girl who is in England. Yeah. Is she in that end.


She's in Australia now. She's a dual citizen. Her family lives in Australia and boy her arms tired after she traveled.


Sure. Because she had to fly there. Yeah. Back to the guy who was like, you know, it's it's working its way back. The call back. I get it man. These guys are pros. When did you move here, though?


Twenty eight. So you came out here to do comedy?


Kind of came out here to act. I didn't know if it was comedy, but I had you done any acting training other than the theatre. Even in theatre. In college you did marketing in theatre. Marketing in theatre. So it's working out for you.


I'm on, I'm on Marc Maron's What the Fuck podcast. Talking about acting.


Yeah. And you did a TV show and I got a show coming out later. You're selling yourself. Yeah, with Dicks and Goblin. Did you hear that?


I got a show coming out this year. It's going to get to it. I'm a pro. So what's this show?


Yeah, right. OK, don't ask about the show.


So Jason Katims show that he did Parenthood and Friday Night Lights. Oh, he's brilliant. Yeah. And there's an Israeli show called On the Spectrum. Yeah. And they're remaking it for Amazon.


I don't know if it's going to be called on Saturday about it's about a couple of football players who just fuck girls all day, every day. Weird name for a show about that.


It's three autistic roommates who are finding ways of learning how to live life independently with jobs.


Don't they have like a reality dating show for. Oh, man, yeah. It's a it's an Australian show called up.


I don't remember something spectrum, I think.


And why did you go? Oh, man, because it's a great show and I don't remember the name of it.


Oh, you like the show. I love. I love want you want you get someone to get the rights and you can host the American version. I don't want to host it. Mm. OK, yeah. Can we move past the hosting.


I was just pitching, just pitching them ideas man. I'm worried about your career. Ah. You know. So what's the. What's the spectrum show? How did you shoot it? We filmed the pilot and we start filming the series in March.


That's great. So you're going to be on an Amazon show? Yeah. Called On the Spectrum. They might change the name. So to what? Footballing chicks. But who are the other actors? Joe Montana plays my dad.


I like that guy. Soucy Bacon plays my caregiver. And there's just a there's a few people that the other two autistic actors are all three of us are somewhere on the spectrum.


Yeah. And I don't really know them from before. I don't know what type of experiences they have.


But I mean, what was the experience being with them?


The three of you I talked to Jason when we were filming during one of the scenes about the same insecurity I told you about. When you look at it, I just I get on two levels, no, no, I get obsessed with like I don't want it to pop. I'm fine. It's just a habit. Sorry, I'm with you.


I get distracted. We talk to Jason. I talked to Jason because I'm playing a character, but I was also chosen, cast because of my life experiences and how much do I bring who I am to this character versus how much am I taking on the character that they've written for me? And there's a there's a line between the two where I feel I'm making assumptions that make me feel like, am I being a spokesperson for this thing? Am I creating this character that is inauthentic and that's what acting is.


And you have to do the research for it. But there's something.


There's something because this is still a relatively new diagnosis for me where there is an insecurity and an identity to it, where I feel like I have to really understand it before I could, because there's a there's a really big responsibility shows beautiful. It it's beautiful. It's it's you know, it's Jason Katims is one of the ones that you can probably cry at every episode at this point.


And it's also, you know, I don't take on this responsibility, but the show has a responsibility of educating what this is and can be and some of the obstacles stigmatizing. Yes. And through that show, I then become I just did a classic Larry King.


What I was packaging something. The one word destigmatizing.




And so I have this responsibility to be part of something and I don't want to lie.


But also I'm playing a character. Right. It gets tough.


Well, maybe you should not think about it so much. Yeah.


There's a line between not thinking about versus not prepping and putting in the work. Right. I guess.


But if you're doing a good job as you think you're doing a good job, who's to say until he laughs? I don't know how he feels, but he said, I am. And I think I connect with the character very strongly. So I think I am.


Well, I mean, how much of what you do is just weird kind of being hard on yourself? You know, and, you know, part of the issue, I feel like your kadence for the second part, I don't know. I mean, what's the difference? We can make choices around being hard on yourself.


Maybe I'll get better at it, but I'm pretty comfortable knowing that that it's not as I am hard myself sometimes, but it's I have accepted that this is going to sound so ridiculous. And I don't mean this as a joke.


I'm excited. I have realized. That I'm not perfect yet. Wait, wait. I realize that people aren't perfect. It took me a while. Come on.


Could you could you connect me for a second and try to understand what I mean by that? Because when you look at people, it's easier to accept other people's flaws because you've accepted them as opposed to your own, where you're mad that you have them. So when you've accepted somebody else's flaws, it doesn't take away from their perfection. Yeah, I when LeBron misses a shot, it doesn't mean he's not perfect. That's part of what it is.


Yeah. Because I don't accept anyone as far as I'm always judging. And I like a lot of times I'm just sort of like that. Sad. Yeah. And I hope that person is OK.


And that's why people are scared to have you over on their podcast for the first time. But then you prove them wrong.


Yeah, but it's like it's just natural. And then you just get to know the person as they are. They're not perfect, but they are who they are. What is perfect mean? I just know I could be three pounds lighter.


I think I think the closest to perfect means acceptance of who you are and a fair amount of awareness to recognize where you can change and if you can write and also knowing your limitations.


Yeah. Yeah.


So if I'm, if I'm cast in a role where like this one where I feel like it's built for me to shine, yeah.


My limitations are going to be a lot greater than if I'm on undateable, where that's not necessarily my wheelhouse, that character, because it's a caricature, it's a, it's a caricature.


It's limited, it's very limited, both in attempts of jokes, the type of joke. And it's just the role.


Your joke machine. Yeah. And it was in a style that at the time, though, I'm still not built for it, I, I didn't understand it. Yeah. I felt like I was used to I'm used to drive into the hole and then I got a job where I'm supposed to take take screens and that's an important job. But I, I wanted to do other things. Yeah.


And this has more range to it. It actually embraces your nature.


Yeah. And I, I mean I've literally been spending for years researching it and understanding it and, and seeing these, these, I now have autistic friends and I know autistic people but I don't have autistic friends before the show you know of.


That I know of, yeah, that that talk about their experiences through the lens of autism and their obstacles and strengths and and now I'm literally in a room with these people for hours talking about it and asking questions and they're asking questions.


I love questions and finding patterns between our personalities and finding things that I realized. Is this a Rick thing or is this an autism thing or those different things that matter?


Great. Is this a neurotypical thing? Is this a Jewish thing? Yeah, and it's just open it.


And you're hoping that eventually you'll come out the other side of it going, I'm fully integrated.


What I want to come out the other side is believing something. That is whether it's real or not, which is I'm special. Back to that thing again, like a lot of the not being included and and the the negative experiences I had in my life, the special schools and such, then that make you feel special?


No, it made me feel it made me feel less then which which you say you're in a bad way. Yes. Got it. Where your fear and and where you work to to to avoid is embarrassment. Mine is not being good enough. I mean it's the same thing but it's a different place and I have that too.


That's part of it. This. I'm sorry.


So can you. I'm great thanks. This diagnosis offered me a perception of all of those things were supposed to be and not that I'm not good enough, it's that I have obstacles. But, you know, I could do a lot of things great, too. And that's where that perfect thing comes from, where all those shots I missed, I realized, oh, you know, maybe you should be playing a different sport or sure, it's OK to miss or whatever it might be.


Yeah. So that's special that that feeling. Everyone makes light of it literally. Yeah.


Yeah. I mean I know enough about myself at this age to know that when I do this sort of self-hatred or expectations or perfection is saying that it's ridiculous.


But there's something comforting about it because I've been doing it so fucking much because you you procured a a shtick.


Like it's just it's even older than that. It's really like, you know, kind of like home base. Yeah. You know what I mean. Like, Joy is is weird to me because I don't know how to experience it. So when I do experience and I'm like, this is weird and terrible and you know, like even when I look good, where I'm at a good weight or I'm healthy, I'm sort of like, I'm not good enough, you know, I but I know it's bullshit and it doesn't matter who my judging.


I'm not even I'm not out in the world right now. I'm not even doing television and I'm fucking beating myself up of four pounds.


You said something to me. I texted you last week about coming back on my podcast to talk about embarrassment and how to get past certain feelings in a moment. I did. Yeah. And you said something to me that I loved. I was asking what what I wanted to listen to some of your podcasts where you felt. Yeah. Coincidentally, as the Larry King one posted, where you felt embarrassed, uncomfortable, not in the pocket and tools to avoid and acknowledge.


And amongst some other text, you said there's been many moments, but who cares? They're real and they're human and we all have them. And though I knew that already, it was articulated in a way packaged. I was like, yeah, that's you.


Yeah, that's great.


You miss shots? Sure. We had like nine during this conversation. Did we know you brought you brought attention to all of them? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Now ten. Yeah, exactly.


I also got to let you know I feel great again with you. It's cool to be here.


It's cool to be doing your podcast. Knew it would come around and yeah. Complete confidence that we were going to pull you out of whatever the fuck happened to.


But but that was like when I first met you. This was my experience.


I know we've talked about it before. I didn't really know you. I knew you were on the show. I had no idea that you were on the spectrum, but you didn't know you're on the spectrum when you did. Yeah, I. Dateable.


Oh, no, no, no. I did when I did standup, but I wasn't talking about it. Right.


But but like what I did, I walked up to the belly room. Sometimes I go up there in between my spots in the real rooms. As a past person.


Were you feeling insecure there? Were you bullying me? No, no.


I'm just saying I went up to the belly room. I'm do sometimes, which I do sometimes in between sets because I'm past at the Comedy Store and I can do sets in the real rooms, but that's just have houses.


So it took me eight years of that. It took me a long time to pass know I'm twelve and I used to answer phones. There is sell her at the store.


Used to answer phones there you haven't, you didn't get. I answered phones there.


Yeah. Once Tommy got the boot. Oh it was harder.


You were on the Tommy trajectory.


I was on the Tommy anyway so I go up the value. I'm not just being a dick and I see you and I kind of know you. I hadn't seen your stand up that I remembered. And there you were with a bag.


And in my mind, I'm like, he's a bad guy. He's got a bag. I know there's an act in that bag. And I prejudged.


And then you went up to judges are prejudge. Does you judge so prejudges in a word it's assumed it's what's the difference between prejudged and judged.


I feel like a prejudges like putting a one in front of the X. It works but I mean you can make a you can make a calculated judgment after you met. Me to assume you know more, but it's still a judgment, right? OK, fine. So I judged based on the bag that you were going to take things out of the bag for your stand up routine. You did. That's more of a deduction. Fine. But no, because I don't have great feelings about bags and stabbing my ex-wife.


Yeah. Yeah. Boom.


You have an ex-wife who doesn't. But let's carry on, do you not? Technically, no. But you know, it's a space holder.


OK, fine. You were never married. No sort of joke. Yeah, I was arms tired. Got a little joke.


I got it.


I figured at this part I go on just put it on Marshall Road commercial the last four minutes, but then you go up with your bag and you start doing the bag bit, you know, like here's here's the thing and here's another thing and putting the hat on, I remember then there's a puppet that you explained to me was from the undateable show you kept and you use in Iraq.


But to me, my problem was, is like all these guys who do the bag routine, there's not a lot of them, but there have been a tough act.




But there have been you know, any generation has got the guys got the bag and then each generation has the guy who sits down and is upset and angry about the bag, about somebody that they prejudged. Right?


Yeah, about everything. Yeah, it's yeah. It's much more common to have the guy who sits down.


He's angry than it is the bad guy, which my point is, is that because bad guys think they're special. But my point is you guys are upset that they're not.


Maybe not.


I don't know if that's true. I think I think angry guys think they have something to say. OK, yeah, but but, you know, the crank is you know, I was never really some guys are natural cranks and they're funny. You're not a natural crank. It took me a long time.


I was actually angry, which is OK.


But but but it's just speaking to your desire to be seen as special. And I think that bad guys, you know, going back to Koffman or anybody, even Lenny Schultz, who.


But there's a different type of bad guy. You're doing a conceptual bit. You have a there's an intelligence to it.


You're not just a prospect. Thank you. Yeah. In fact, I avoided props for a long time out of insecurity that you would be judged by me by.


But then I wouldn't be able to translate the the irony if you weren't doing props for real.


Well, well, not listen, if you do props for real and you're good at it, more power to you. That's not what my craft is. So I would be faking it. Right. But there are so many funny things you could do with props because of the built in expectations to props the feeling you had. Right. And I didn't want to do it because then you got to travel with them and you've become a prop guy.


And but but then I realized, what do I care if it gets a laugh? But anyway, go on.


No, but then you wind up and you get it. And, you know, I was I think I went on and mocked you. I'm sure your memory of this is crystal clear.


My memory of it is gone. And then but later, like I did find there was something I liked about you because you were earnest and you liked about me.




Why. Yeah, but but then I apologize to you the next day and I still don't even after a podcast.


I still don't know how you got my number or people make fun of me all the time.


I have aspergers. I was kidding about the making fun of because of that. Yeah. Nobody has texted me and apologized the next day and it's almost as if, you know, it was the Stockholm syndrome. It's not that, but it's almost as if like you being mean and then apologizing after made you more likeable than had you not done anything to begin with. Hmm. There's also something to the fact that when you were mean to me.


Yeah, I, I crush that set. I don't know if you remember. And I'm not you know, I've crushed that off and that just right.


If I'm doing eight minutes or less I could do really well. Yeah. And I had a great set so I didn't feel that your judgement's or prejudgments and your your anger was based on you bombing.


Yeah. Or me as or more specifically based on me as a performer.


It was me being an insecure dick trying to follow a mess and make the, you know, to take a shot at you on the way out so I could get my first wife the first three. I'm not sure it worked.


You did about you did probably five, seven minutes on me in a less than fifteen minutes set. And the first three minutes, not only was I flattered, it was funny. Yeah. It was like because I just did.


Well now he's calling to attention the oddity. So so you could then set the stage for your different thing. You're basically it's just a tool of changing expectations. And I'm not going to come up here and pull my dick out and have a puppet. I'm going to. Yeah. Sit on a chair and complain.


Did you know? Well, you know, did I complain? I get the complaint. All right. Yeah, good.


Here's Marc Maron. He's you know, he's a well-established past at the Comedy Store and the seller. He's talking about me. This is great. I'm in it for it's like.


All right, Mark. All right, now do your fears stuff, you know, and I mean, it sounds like, all right, I don't know if he's riding the wave, but you're being a little billin. Yeah, you were being mean. My feelings weren't hurt, but I didn't understand what you were doing. Yeah. And I didn't I didn't go home sad. I didn't think much of it.


But I think it became a broader conversation about guys who do that.


That's a yeah. Right. And that I think that also unlocked something for you, which was you were making comedy associations and kind of like what you said here. There's always you said, I've been doing this for however long, million years.


And you said there's always one of that. Right. And that made me laugh because that's funny. And also. Oh, there's only one of that, Jack.


You know, that's the point. That's what got us here, is that specialness. But then you texted me, you apologized. You use too many big words and.


And I thought that was really you don't have that anymore in your phone. They delete after after a year, but I have the screengrab somewhere. That's OK. And it's on my podcast, which if I if I'm plug in something else, watch our podcast. I do get messages about it often.


I tag you sometimes with people really like that one and they get to see you in a way that like seeing you silly like that. Yeah, right.


Well, I felt bad because, like, you know, there's something about not carrying that stuff with me. You know, I'm trying to figure out, like why, you know, like.


I think I knew I went too far in a way not that you would it would have mattered to you necessarily, but I just felt like I was it was just one of those things where I was just mean I was just being like a bully or something.


Yeah, it was to your credit, it was obviously an act like you were you were trying to be funny.


Yeah. And you were for most of it. Yeah. You were funny enough for all of it. Right. But yeah, I did get to a point to where it's like the intention behind it was, as you said, feeling insecure about.


Right. You know, whatever it might have been for you. Right. But had we ran into each other a month later and had a conversation in the hallway, there would have been nothing. Nothing that you did would have made me be like squinting my eyes at you. You know, it's just yeah, it happens all the time, but.


No, but you would it would have sort of implanted even deeper the idea that, like. Oh, yeah. Marks cranky fuck. And, you know, he's going to come to my house, he's going to be cranky and it's going to be I wouldn't have asked you to come on had you not getting the message right.


I wouldn't have felt that there was any connection between us. Not that there couldn't be. There wasn't one. That's true. So, you know, I just keep reaching out because you have a successful podcast and will you help me bring numbers in or whatever the superficial reason.


That's the only reason I'm having you on trying to get that YouTube audience. Yeah, but like I said, people shit on me all the time, my friend. It's part of, you know, part of what we do. It's part of what we do. And you have to acknowledge the room. And you didn't do anything. I didn't feel like you crossed a line. You just stood on it a little longer than you needed to.


And that's a performance note. And that's yeah, that's just a critique of like when in doubt, just capitate, 180 seconds. Yeah.


But that message to me was like because also you didn't have my number.


It wasn't just tough luck. I got a message and you had to ask somebody. Yeah.


Like you and it was the next day. So you thought about it.


And I just thought that that was just forget you being mean or not mean or funny or funny enough, whatever it might be.


I think it was me waking up and thinking like, you know, I think you're too old to be threatened by a puppet or me being threatened by a puppet is the only reason I use one.


Let me ask you a question.


Now that our friendship is getting to the point to my doctor.


Listen, another shoulder doctor Rick. Yeah. I have autism. Mark.


Oh, my God. Do you like sports? Yeah. Yeah.


How do how do we piggyback your guests to then on their way home, come over to do mine?


Oh, boy. Well, I mean, no one's coming over anywhere in the world. Yeah. Comics for some reason, the only people that come over are comics of your generation. Is that because you feel comfortable with them or they feel comfortable with, you know, it's just they're willing to do it right.


You know, I don't know. Like, I've gotten to the point, like, if you have it, I probably got it. If I got it, if I have it. But I feel we both safe enough. But I was getting tested, like, every fucking two weeks for a while. Yeah.


I definitely make assumptions based on people's the projection I have of their lifestyle. Yeah. Whether or not I'm comfortable with that thing. Yeah.


I'm, I'm nervous all the time anyways. That's why I do mine on the balcony. I have my guests on right now. I open the windows and we're safe, we're separated and there's the glass here. But who the fuck knows he'll be all right.


OK. Oh yes.


So sure I will let people know that you do a podcast and it's on a balcony. Why don't you just tell them to watch the show?


Yeah, but I'm not talking about your audience. I'm talking about you guys. I know. I know. Bring it up for the next.


What if you did a segment for the next, I don't know, for the rest of the year where you say that's a long time anyway.


It's until the end of twenty, twenty two whenever you want and you say something where it's like, I want you to print up some cards for me and I can just hand them to the people.


Sure. Like Rick Glassman to take your shoes off. Yeah. And then make a little picture of you and a goblin cock in the balcony. Huh. And say like you know, if you want to talk to this guy. Yeah. You think that'll do it?


No, I think it's a horrible sell. And also, I only had forty five seconds to do it before it becomes gratuitous. So I'm going to just text you after and tell you how to get me Obama. Good talking to you about it.


Thanks. You too, man. Rick Glassman, that was a lot of self-awareness around autism. It turned out to be an educational, powerful talk, empowering and eye opening both to those of us who don't have autism and people who have autism. It's sort of inspirational story, the Rick Glassman story, which I'm writing right now. All right, you guys, look, maybe it was a weird one. Maybe it was. Maybe I'm weird today, but it's better than being sad, isn't it?


Weird is better than sad. Now, let's play some sad music. Let's go down to the continent, OK? God, when can we run again? And I mean a way. BOEMRE lives the fond monkey flying. Flying cat angels, cat angels everywhere.