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[00:00:00]

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to What You're Going to Love Me, the podcast where we open the eyes, the ears and the hearts of anyone who is judged or been judged, while hopefully I'm your host, Katie Maloney. All right. Hello, everyone, welcome to a new episode today I have on Mahboub.

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My lover is my best friend. That's right. Tom Schwartz is in the house. Hi.

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Hi. Finally. Finally. Yeah, it's only just begun. Yeah, I know.

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It's also fresh and new and exciting. Anything is possible.

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Well, I guess I've been talking about it to you for a really long time, so maybe that's why it feels like finally to you, but yeah. Still new to everyone else. But I was trying to think of things I wanted to talk to you about, but I feel like I know you so well. So I went to the Instagram and I feel the same questions. Well, hold on. Before we get there, let's just I'm like their first of all, I'm the host.

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I know.

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I like to pivot a lot. I might take control a few times, but I'm not jumping right into the questions, by the way. So I'm just saying let's paint a picture for your listeners right now. What are you looking at? I'm going to tell them when I did this morning, I walked into the bathroom. I was feeling courageous and I took the Clippers and I decided to try and give myself a fade. And to give you an idea of what I look like.

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Now, if you've ever seen the Fifth Element. Well, video cornealious, I think Father Beto Cornelius, his young printing's. David, if you want to Google that, that's exactly what my hair looks like. Yeah. Don't you butchered.

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I've been doing Tom's hair these last, I don't know, a few months or so in quarantine. I've been I've given you some haircuts, dyed your hair the first attempt at a fade.

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I mean, in your defense, you had never done it before and you were pretty toasty for about seven glasses of wine. So I was just using shears. I was just using like scissors, basically. It's like a comb in my fingers.

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And and you were and you were fried.

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I mean, you were hammered off of pheno. And I got to I got to say, though, that was the first attempt and I knew what I was getting to. I had no expectations, but I kind of dug it. It was kind of like, you know, dystopian Mad Max ish, you know?

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No, it looked like someone who was blind.

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Cut your hair maybe. Yeah, that's what it looked like then. But then you followed up with just a superb cut. The next two times were like they were almost as good as when I go to the barber, maybe like seventy percent as good as the usual fade, which is pretty significant for someone who's never really is.

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Then I got the Clippers that had the guards on them. So I would like, you know, switch out the guards to get the nice feed and then, you know, use the shears on the top of your head. But YouTube was an amazing resource. Shout out to YouTube.

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I mean, no, I mean, I yeah. I just want to hear schools such an incredible tool for so many things. There's a tutorial for everything you can imagine. Like, for instance, I had my first term, the two man Taylor moment here, Bob Vila, one of our stores, and our showers was sagging. And instead of hiring a handyman, I did a little research figuring out how to do it on YouTube. And I went to myself and and I was so impressed because normally I do that kind of stuff around the house.

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Yeah.

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It should be noted that I am capable I am a somewhat capable handyman, but Katie sort of excels in that area and she's she's really good at it.

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She's got this natural handyman handy woman instinct. And I know that's why I call you Bob Vila.

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But Villa, I know I'll be putting together the furniture or doing something, you know, along those lines. And Tom will be making me guacamole and serving me drinks.

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Yeah, it's great in a in a little sexy French maid uniform. Yeah. He puts on his short shorts for that one. Yeah. Or his my favorite boxes of his of candy corn on them.

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Yeah. Oh no. People don't know that, that's TMI. We don't need to talk about that.

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But I did get a lot of really great questions. Cool. From the Instagram world's. Yeah. For you. Do you want to start off easy or do you want to just get right into the nitty gritty.

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Well the nitty gritty. Well, like the one to ask me how I feel. How do you feel? And thank you.

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I appreciate that. I feel overall, OK, I'm happy. I have a lovely wife and beautiful dogs and we have our health. My family's all right. We have a roof over our head. But I don't know. I've been getting I've been getting on the California Doomsday Train lately.

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See, the quarantine is great for me. I'm a homebody. I love just like being at home, lounging around or just I don't know, I just I've no problem where Tom gets extremely restless and restless and then I just I don't know.

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I just I've been reading the headlines, especially in California lately. You know, we just had the highest recorded temperature in the last hundred years. One hundred thirty two degrees. Shout out to Death Valley. Now, it's really hell on Earth, though. I mean, we have tornado fires in Northern California, which is raging, burning right now.

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Sitting on my we had we had a pretty scary earthquake a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Always on the cusp of the big. One, we have the highest state income taxes in the entire nation. It's your favorite one to talk about. That's really depressing. Listen, let's just kind of can we I just I just I found myself. Yeah. I'm going to get off the train now. Yeah. We get on the lighten the mood a little bit.

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Lighten the mood.

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Tom's on like in income, state taxes, doomsday fires like.

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Well, then I remember that, you know, and I remember that you can go skiing and surfing in the same day. And Vegas is only an hour flight away and San Diego, a two and a half hour drive and all these things.

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And Tom and I just spent our four year anniversary in Santa Barbara, which was amazing. It was lovely.

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I highly recommend it. It's like the Chiller Luscher more laid back version of L.A..

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No, no. That's how I felt. No, it's not a version of L.A. whatsoever.

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It's just it's just such a beautiful in terms of the landscape and just the vibe, the.

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Yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of your family, there's a lot of questions about the triplets. Yeah, I miss them dearly.

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Some people are asking what your favorite memory of them is. The Three Amigos. My favorite recent memory is. Well, maybe not, obviously, but Tom and Jack surprised me with them at our wedding because I had no idea, not even an inkling. And it was one of the just most beautiful moments I can remember with them. I know they were so happy to be there. Then at that point, they had never been to California. They had never filmed on the show.

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And like it just everything, everything together. It was like it was the culmination of just all these firsts for them. And I just was also one of the happiest moments of my life. And I was just like pure joy in elation and like seeing them and embracing them, crying, having my mom there. I wish I could have had my dad and my sister there, of course. But, you know, still, it was just they were just seeing the joy in their eyes and it just oh, man, I go back to that moment all the time in my mind's not so much, you know, watching it on the show, but it's perfectly preserved in my little brain here.

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That's one of my favorite recent ones. Do you ever mistake them or were you always able to tell them apart?

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I was always able to tell them apart, really, even when they were babies. Yeah. What did your mom have to do, like sock tricks or, like, know them in certain colors?

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No, I know I was always I was always pretty good at telling them apart. Just they have these little tiny like little idiosyncrasies and these little subtle physical characteristics as babies that I get that I helped use to, you know, distinguish between the three amigos. But, yeah, it was it was interesting, I guess, when you're immersed that I didn't really think too much about it growing up.

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It just it just it just was you really didn't think it was odd that you had triplet brothers. I mean, they know what I know after sometimes a little later in life that I fully appreciated how rare it is and how special it is.

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But yeah, growing up as a young lad, I we just roughhouse a lot. We played a lot.

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Were you like a good older brother or did you beat up on them now? I was well, I was a good older brother, but also I did enjoy torturing them. I didn't like a good fun hearted sort of way. Not like not like, you know, lasting mental trauma or like, like bullying them, but no, like in a good spirited sort of fun older brother sort of way.

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I love busting their balls and I still do love busting their balls, but yeah. Yeah. You know, like a sibling kind of way like me.

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I like Joey and I definitely tortured Rocky.

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Yeah. Yeah. Oh. And like Rocky and I used to fight.

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Oh God. I remember. Yeah. Horrible fights but yeah.

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But all the boys are ok, they're still back in Florida. They're doing OK. They're not exactly where they want to be in life. Yeah. Who is. We're all works in progress. They're kind of late bloomers. They keep such great attitudes, you know what I mean. They're so positive, never so nice, never cynical and just always so grateful. And I can't wait to get them back out here. And yeah, I miss them every day.

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I love them so much. And two of them are single, right? Yeah.

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Two of them are single brand and single.

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Lee Rhiannon needs to get laid. Saarbrucken Bert Bert needs to get laid. So, uh, Billy's, Billy's in a loving relationship with Amanda and he's happy and I think they're considering getting their first apartment together. So that's a big step.

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But yeah, the boys are OK.

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I need I need more the triplets in my life, people always ask me about them.

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I can Tom-Tom and I'm insur pump like one of the triplets coming back. She get a cameo or somethin favourite's.

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Yeah. Um, I love the triple update, but nevertheless, I know I know you've told me that you were such a good child and your mom has said that you were just the best little boy ever. But like, what were you really like as a child? From what I remember and what I was told by everyone around me, I was just really easygoing, laid back, rarely complained. Rarely cried, I was just an easy, annoying, happy go lucky baby, but you know what, that's that's good for me because hopefully our children will take after.

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Yeah, I always had a nice, even keeled temperament. Of course, I spaced out sometimes that I had meltdowns and I sometimes fought with my older sister. I like to torture my older sister, by the way, a lot too. More so than my brothers, actually. A lot of people don't know. I have an older sister named Natalie. I have two half sisters and a half brother from my dad's previous marriage. And they're very cool, Sarah and Laura and Jeff, and they all live in Minnesota, although Laura just moved down to Florida.

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Yeah, I have a great, big, beautiful family. If you're counting. That's eight kids that his dad has. Yeah, he was busy. Tom is one of eight. That's in your right. In the middle to. Yeah, basically in the middle.

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Yeah, I'm in the middle and I just I know I'm getting sentimental. I can't stop it. It's coming up like like I got to puke or something is just going to come out.

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I miss them all so much. Quarantine has made me mad a little bit of course has been charming fun aspects to quarantine. I say that from a place of privilege. I know there's a lot of suffering, so don't come at me on Twitter, although I don't have Twitter right now. So you can come at me and I won't see it because I delete it on a regular basis because I hate it. Yeah, it's the worst place, although I appreciate it as I appreciate it for what it is.

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You know, as much good as bad has come from Twitter for sure. And I know it's a powerful tool.

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Wow. OK, I'm back. Really. Oh boy.

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Well how about how about this. Why do you talk to me. But why do you. We're doing a podcast right now. Yeah. Stop trying to take over my job. But you took the reins.

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Oh OK. So why do you prefer Coors Light to any other beer.

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Totally switching gears, but I love Coors Light first and foremost for its taste.

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Its simple and clean and it's unironically one of my favorite beers. I love the way it tastes so much. It's so quenching and people would say it tastes like cat piss.

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Now I don't take not to me it tastes, it just it's how do you know it just. Well you can imagine because for me personally, Cat Cat is one of the worst, if not the worst smell on the planet. I recently peed on your rug a blanky and you can smell it immediately.

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Yeah.

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It's so pungent so I can only imagine what it tastes like. Anyways, I love Coors Light and also for nostalgic reasons. Dudes like amongst the first beers I ever drank. OK, people are getting bored now. I like the packaging. I do. I love their branding. I love their new, their new marketing campaign, the active chill, you know, officially chilling.

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It's very, very own brand with your brand of. Yeah, officially chillin. Tom's Tom's a leisure line. Yes. Lounge line. We've got the moose. Yeah.

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That's what I wanted to make something that someone could put on and make like we make it official, make their declaration to the world that they are taking a me day. They are showing themselves some love. You get mad, want to have it on. You're like you're not officially chillin.

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I know. I know. I need to lay off. I need to quit. Yeah, I know. I only wear in mine on special occasions but where it every day if you work every day. Oh I know that's not true at all. You wear once twice a week. Well I you should be wearing it.

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It's your light show. I like to show and yeah I'm an ambassador of Chile and looks different for everybody. I feel insincere or like a poser when I'm wearing it and I'm not chilling so I like to walk the walk.

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You're always chilling talk talk about Chile lately.

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But I mean, even whether it's your demeanor that's chill or you're actually actively like chillin on the couch, I keep a chill on the surface.

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But, you know, there's inner turmoil for sure. There's lots of things I'm worried about. I don't want I don't want to get your you going down that they haven't.

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They have they have enough on their own plate. I'm not going to burden them with the things I mentioned about my neuroses. But yeah, there's a lot of things I'm concerned about, but way more good than bad. And I'm always overall an optimistic, happy dude.

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Yeah, I pulled out of that nose.

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All right. We're going to really talk about you and I know. OK, how does that sound? All right. So these questions came from everyone else then the these these are the questions that were asked the most. So don't look at me. All right. I think we had to start with how we met a lot of people. I feel like we've talked about this so much. We've talked about on the show, we've talked about in interviews.

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But once again, we can just tell the story of how we met. So it's not a great story.

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I wish we had a romantic, ah, like, fairy tale esque introduction to each other like it was more is strictly so I was working on Sir Kristen was like, oh my gosh, you have to meet my roommate or my boyfriend's roommate, Tom Sandoval. I think you guys were like, really get along. I feel like you're like the girl version of him. I don't even know what that means, but I was just like, OK, what's this do?

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The story, she's like, well, he moved here a year ago to L.A. and I was like, First, I want to stop you there. And then one, yeah. And then she continued, she's and I'm like, OK, well, what's the story like? What does he do? She goes, well, he's pursuing acting and modeling. And I was like, you lost me two strikes. You lost me. I've already dated all of them.

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And I just can't I can't get back into that.

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And honestly, I agree with that. Like, very easy to become cynical and jaded dating here in L.A., especially dating up and coming artists who sort of have to be hyper focused on themselves. They don't know when their next checks are coming. They don't know when their next gig is coming. No, it's it's exciting, but it's also an incredibly selfish time. And it's it's not a time you're really think about love and pursuing relationships. You're thinking about one night stands and maybe like those things aren't mutually exclusive.

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They're you can do let's focus on your career and also be in a relationship a hundred percent.

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But all the only point I was trying to make is at least and at that moment in time, like being happy and in love, in a caring relationship, didn't feel conducive to making progress professionally. I felt like in that moment I did feel like they were mutually exclusive.

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And I was also just I just didn't feel sexy like I was I was like hustling. I was working so hard. No, I didn't have I didn't know anybody. I had, like, I never knew him. And next check was coming because I was a gig worker. I was I was trying to establish myself in the industry, get good agents, a good commercial agency, always going on. Anyway, I was just so good. I was.

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Yeah, sorry. OK, so then we met. So then so then one night I don't know if I was like after work but one night Kristen's like let's go to the Belmont, Tom is coming. And I was like, OK, fine for me down.

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I'm going to meet this guy. And Tom like shows up, barely says like hi to me. He can't come in because he doesn't have his I.D. So then we go back to your in Tom's apartment and Tom has a girl with him. So Kristen is like now finally convinced me to meet this guy and he's got a girl with him. You know, I'm like, dude, this is not going well at all. Like you like Kristen, I'll never listen to you again.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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I did have a girl there, although it was more just platonic, although I think we had sort of maybe hooked up a little bit like I guess we had made it to like first base.

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So we hung out and but we were more just friends with like two beneficial occasions. We, you know, anyways.

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But then Tom and I, we actually spoke and we were hanging out and we were having fun. And that girl was like pissed. I remember she would really come out of your room. She wanted to hang out in your room. And we were all hanging out in the living room area.

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And I busted out the sunglass collection. We played drinking games. Yeah, I do remember it. And I mean, I of course, I thought you were.

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But first impressions, of course, I think I want to ask you, what were your first impressions of?

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Well, I thought you were of course, I thought you were hot, but I was kind of disinterested.

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I wasn't thinking I wasn't thinking you as a romantic, really, because Kristen hadn't been talking me up to you for weeks like she was to me about you.

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She had mentioned you. But honestly, like I said, I was I had so many other things that I was concerned about, preoccupied with mentally, like just romance was way down on the list. Yeah.

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So was it for me. I didn't want to date another loser. I didn't want to see the other guy. That's like I'm a I'm focused on my career because to me, in my experience and dating in L.A., that was not that was not a genuine excuse or reason. It was a fuck boy excuse and reason. They always said, like, I'm just focusing on my career. That was basically saying, like, I don't I want to keep my options open.

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I don't want to get tied down, which I understand. And a lady's crazy, fast paced city. And it's there's a lot of nightlife and a lot of young, attractive people that sometimes people are like, you know, and I respect that.

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It's hyper, hyper competitive. Like when you go you're like, I'm sure people want to talk about people have a general idea. I don't either. But just yet, it should be noted that you have to give it one hundred percent. You can't let your foot off the gas because just although I did from time to time for sure. But anyways. Yeah.

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So first impressions. Yeah. I thought you were sexy if that was the beginning in the end of it. You know, I want to wow your listeners. I want to wow you right now. I'd be like I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you and spend the rest of our lives together.

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That wasn't like for either of us. I was just like, he's really cute. He's fun. Like, I definitely had a crush on you. We definitely started, like, communicating kind of stayed like that for like a couple months, maybe for a while. Honestly, I think the second time we ended up hanging out, we had.

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So what can I say about the creative? No, I'm not talking about that. But it was it was we kept it very casual.

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We didn't we both were like, I don't want a relationship. He didn't want a relationship. So it just it was just sort of this casual like thing where we were seeing each other, but we didn't put a label on it or anything.

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It was respectful but casual and fun. But still we would. We would flirt with each other via text and in person, there was chemistry for sure, but I just I just kind of refused to let myself go there.

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Same I was jaded. I had been burned in the past. But then we're jaded. But then, yeah, I was totally Whitmont. But because I had also been in L.A. and then dating in L.A. and anyone that's data in L.A. knows it sucks.

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It's the worst. So you will become a horribly jaded person after a few years. And I've been here for like four years, I think by that time. But then we both ended up catching feelings because I went out of town, I went back home to Park City to visit my family. And I guess I didn't like text back or he try to get in touch with me. And I just was kind of like not responsive. And of course, the Kristen's like he's moping.

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He's asking, like, why haven't heard from her? Have you heard from her? See, that's the thing. That's totally not who I am. I'm not the jealous type. I you can. You can. It's not about being jealous. No, no, no. But in that moment, I think I was one of the few times I sort of I'm very vulnerable 100 percent. I'm very vulnerable, but I'm just not the jealous type. But in that moment, I think, yeah, I was I started to catch real feelings, but then I tried to bury him down.

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I was like, no, no, I needed to be out there hustling, grinding, getting auditions, making moves. You have nothing to fall back on and no one to help you.

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You don't have time for love, you know.

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But so then but then I remember talking to Stacy. We had a conversation and I was just like, but I really I just don't I don't know if I want a relationship. I really, really like him.

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I do. And she's like, well, Kitty, how would you feel if, like so you guys have to you have to decide one way or another, like you have to say, like, OK, fine, like we're not going to do this anymore. Like, you got to like figure this out. And how would you feel if you started dating someone new? Like I'm like I would fucking end her.

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And she was like, well I didn't say like that, but I remember I was like, I would be devastated. And she goes, OK, well then there's your answer. Like, you should just call it what it is. And so I remember I text you, like, in that moment and was like, do you want to have lunch tomorrow?

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And we went had lunch and I was like, so I think we both I knew something was amiss.

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I didn't know that you were going to sit me down to have the talk.

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The what are we you know, I know I didn't ask you what we were. I basically just I was like, so I know like I haven't really been, like, wanting relationship. You haven't really been wanting relationship. But like, we know we both really like each other. And I think we should, like, give this a real shot. And I basically I stayed to my boyfriend and you were and you said, well, I don't know if I'll be a very good boyfriend, but I'm down to give it a shot.

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And I was like, good enough for me because I don't know how I'm going to be either.

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But then, you know, ten years later, here we are. Yeah.

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I mean, yeah. I mean, that was a big moment for me because, like, I was still fresh, fresh from making this leap of faith, resigning from my somewhat cushy job in Florida and driving across the country by myself, yada, yada. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but it is kind of a traumatizing thing when you make that leap of faith. And I was still processing all that and finding my way and establishing connections and to all of a sudden be committed to another human being.

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I just it felt like a huge step. What did I say?

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I said, like something like be my boyfriend that I'm just going to I don't remember exactly what I said.

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And you're just like, well, I don't know if I'll be a very good one, but yeah, I like the transparency.

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I was the same way. I was like, I don't know either. But like, we're going to get our feelings hurt if we keep doing this or if we just kind of like established that this is what it is, set some boundaries, then we protect ourselves.

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Before then, my, my my dating life in L.A. was more or less non-existent. I had met people I had great connections with and bonded with and would hang out on a regular basis with. But I had never really dated up until that point. I sort of saw a few different girls, but it was very light and mostly, like I said, platonic. So you were kind of my first real quote unquote real relationship in L.A.. I know I wasn't your first relationship.

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Sorry, Katie went through a phase. I was a ho big. Oh ho.

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Just kidding. Not really. But like, you know, I just I was like, whatever.

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So I never went through a promiscuous phase. I was always a serial monogamist.

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Well, after I got in a relationship that's I want to just get a little down there. Yeah, I'm at a pivot, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a break, you know.

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And you did. What are your top three favorite things about me?

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That's a question that a lot of people has obviously been asked this question a million times.

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But like my number one favorite thing to do with, you know, about me, about not activities, about me go hand in hand. And this also involves, you know, doesn't I love just sitting in.

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Doing nothing with you, I love indulging in just the same thing about me, watching a rerun or watching Jerry Maguire ordering takeout, but I just it's like magic. It's sweet bliss, nirvana. That's like one of my favorite things in the world is doing nothing with you.

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And I'm like, yeah, oh, my answers are going to be so stark or cliched because I was going to say I love I love your laugh. Really? Yeah, I do love your laugh and I love when you laugh. And I like that sometimes you have a darker sense of humor. Not always I do. But yeah, you do have a darker sense of humor and I love that. And I love that you're a driving force in the relationship.

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If it wasn't for you, I think we would still be together, but we'd still be living in our first apartment.

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Not engaged, not married, not married, happy driving force and our our love and progression in our relationship, sometimes via questionable methods like ultimatums.

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But Sadun stand by them get they get shit done. Right.

[00:26:30]

I know but the I sometimes just got a little fear in somebody's back. The fear, what they're about to lose a thing is to weigh the options. Yeah. OK, what else do I love about you. I love travel. Well I like going all the things I keep going. I love traveling with you. Well I've always appreciated the finer things in life but like more or less been indifferent to something like flying first class. But you've made me appreciate sitting in first class.

[00:26:57]

I'm not pushy and I'm happy in the middle seat and I never middle, but all the way back next to the shitter. That's no problem for me whatsoever. But you've made me appreciate the. Yes.

[00:27:08]

The finer things and treat yourself, because that's part of the experience of traveling is is the getting there, you know, coming home. It's it's all part of it.

[00:27:15]

You got to treat yourself whenever you set that tone, you know, hopping onto a plane, sitting in first class, have a little champagne, have a big TV, have plenty of legroom, being able to lay that seat back.

[00:27:27]

But are you spoiling yourself all the time? Every day. This is another question about me that you're going to answer.

[00:27:34]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think you want me to do a many listeners deserve to know what you love about COD was all right.

[00:27:44]

Just just to. I love that, Tom. You're always very positive.

[00:27:50]

You are very much of a glass half full, like you're very optimistic unless you do some sitting in traffic that should be known client.

[00:27:58]

I have the full OK, I get to qualify it. Well, yeah, I'm a monster when I'm behind a wheel well so you'll never know by looking at me. Are road rage.

[00:28:07]

Road rage. You're more outwardly you want to know. It's OK. Minds all entered in a rage.

[00:28:12]

It's literally some one time I heard you scream not windows open but there was like a 70 year old woman and you called her a skank.

[00:28:19]

No, I didn't know she was. She was escaping. We rival each other in the road rage department.

[00:28:27]

But OK, anyways, this is supposed to be positive things. I lost my train of thought.

[00:28:32]

Oh oh oh. Stalling tactic.

[00:28:34]

I love I love your relationship with your family and how much you like, love and worry about them. And you and your mom have a great relationship and I've always really loved that about you. Your sense of humor. Yeah, I got a pretty damn good sense of humor. I'm not I'm not cold on this. Oh yeah. About you or this is about you. But this is my turn to talk.

[00:28:56]

Um, no, Tomaz, really great sense of humor. Thom's also really intelligent. I like on the show sometimes people are like, oh, he's just dumb. Like because you because you do the do you do the the puppy boy or the little puppy dog thing. Oh shucks thing a lot. But people like you're actually like very, very intelligent, maybe emotionally intelligent sometimes.

[00:29:17]

I mean I did go to college and I like I got a good education. You're right. You're not great on the spot.

[00:29:21]

I need time to read a lot of books, time to digest things and think about sub qualifying, all these things I'm saying I love about you.

[00:29:27]

OK, OK. You're right. You're right. Really, that's good.

[00:29:30]

Because like, you're trying to sometimes sometimes to argue all my points, which I do love. I love the healthy debate and I love that you challenge me. But sometimes, like, right now is not the time.

[00:29:40]

Oh no, no. I felt like we were riffing. We're not riffing, though. I'm complimenting you. OK? Yeah. And that was even a compliment right then.

[00:29:49]

Tom's a very, like, unique individual. Thanks. No, I was going to elaborate on that.

[00:29:57]

The way Tom dresses is what I'm specifically talking about is basically like somebody shit their pants and how to just like go to like a gas station or somewhere on the side of the road and put something on. Actually, I'm on board with that.

[00:30:13]

I love gas. Well, I love it.

[00:30:16]

I love that you don't like give a fuck. You wear what you like. No, no. But you you only care about whether you like it or not. You don't. Hear what other people think or if it's in fashion or what's trendy, you appreciate trends and you do have really nice clothes and stuff like that. But like right now you're wearing a tie dye shirt that you bought from me like a souvenir shop. This is Amelia Island, Florida.

[00:30:37]

On it I am. It's tie dye and green and blue tie dye. And it's like, yeah, it's like but really you find these boxy T-shirts with the image or the whatever has been print screen printed on it, crooked off center. And he and you like love that about it.

[00:30:54]

I'm like that would drive me crazy.

[00:30:57]

Like for instance you know on Las Vegas Boulevard they have these little shops, these souvenir shops and you can get three shirts for ten dollars. I love that. I'm not a cheapskate, but I just love those type of shirts. The cheesy tourist ones too. For 20, I'm a sucker for. Yeah. Collecting gas T-shirts from around the world. But then again, I also yeah. Like you said, I do have a great appreciation for fashion.

[00:31:20]

I might not show it all the time, but I like to think I have a keen fashion sense. You wouldn't be able to tell it by looking at me, but it's in there. I'm judge. I have a unique sense of fashion.

[00:31:29]

I'm going I'm going with keen heen anyways. Yeah. Let's see, let's move on. Let's move on from that. These are slightly more serious questions. But but I think, you know, a lot of people that watch the show have seen really some of our worst fights. And, you know, and I think that sometimes people have this idea of our relationship in their head that we're like every single day waking up, calling each other horrible names, just like constantly at each other's throat.

[00:31:56]

And that's really not the case. But they have really seen some of the the darkest moments of our relationship. And so I just wanted us to talk a little bit about that.

[00:32:05]

It's a funny thing, being in a relationship over the course of eight years on a reality television show, because I was definitely nervous about that going in.

[00:32:13]

And I remember talking to you being like, OK, so we're going to do the show. And I'm like really nervous because it could potentially tear us apart. It could really it's going to definitely put us, you know, through the what we call it, the ringer, the ringer or put it put us through our paces and test us.

[00:32:30]

And, you know, it should be noted that I was I also had all kinds of trepidation, reservations. I was like, you know, when we first started the show, I was just starting to make progress. I'm just trying to like I wasn't crushing it by any means, but I was like starting to pull commercials and books and print jobs. And I felt like I was gaining confidence. It took a long time to get just to the point where I was getting callbacks and then all of a sudden were presented with this opportunity to do this reality show of a lifetime, of course.

[00:32:59]

But like in my mind, I still had a stigma attached to reality TV. And then I was like, oh, my God, not only am I going to be on reality TV, I'm going to have to be in a relationship on reality TV. And it just it was very it was a very scary time.

[00:33:10]

We just had to, like, kind of live out loud. And if we were getting an argument, it was going to be on camera. And that happened plenty of times.

[00:33:17]

And also, Tom was a very bad boy. Well, times, too. Yeah. Probably the hardest thing I had to go through, like, honestly, because that is such a really, like, intimate, crushing blow to have to experience, not even on camera, just in life fucking sucks. Yeah. And then here I am with cameras on us and there's you can't run, you can't hide. You have to just you want to run.

[00:33:42]

You want to but you can't because like this is our job, you deal with it and then you have to relive it and then now hear the opinions. And like everyone, everyone has to say when it airs finally and that and there's a lot of judgment and a lot of negativity that comes from that.

[00:34:00]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, that was that was rough. And I was obviously, you know, it was mortifying and not one of my prouder moments, but like we've had a very grizzled and complicated relationship.

[00:34:14]

You know, it was really rough early on. We went through a lot. We fought a lot early on. And I had never been in a relationship like that. I had never really by the way, this is not me blaming Katie for me being he's just never been in a relationship with a strong, powerful woman.

[00:34:28]

Well, but but also, you know. OK, well, we'll go with that.

[00:34:32]

You you had a lot of issues from prior relationships. And also you you know, you had PTSD from which I didn't realize when we were going through it. But you had a lot of anger management issues and you were very emotionally volatile. And I just said never anyway. So I had like I bottled up a lot of resentment over the first few years in our relationship. And that manifested itself in really weird. You combine that with, you know, excessive alcohol intake.

[00:35:01]

And just like being confused about, you know, whether or not you see yourself being together with this person. I never fell out of love with you. But there was times where I got stretched really thin and I honestly wasn't sure if we were going to make it as a couple, which is like really sad to say. But it's not an excuse. It's not. It's not.

[00:35:19]

And it's like it's like the most cowardly way of dealing with it. I. We've talked about this in couples therapy, it's like for sure there was times, never consciously, but in hindsight, I can look back and say for sure, like subconsciously was trying to just sabotage or take the cowardly way out. I would never fully admitted to myself, but there was times where I wasn't sure if we were going to make it. And I was like I wasn't sure if I wanted to be together.

[00:35:41]

And yeah, I just had a lot of resentment bottled up. And I guess it manifested itself in some pretty douchy ways.

[00:35:47]

I'm not limiting myself from this. I'm not saying that I wasn't a pain in the ass and we would fight and it would terrify you and I would act crazy. Yeah, that's not OK.

[00:36:01]

I know that we've come so far.

[00:36:02]

We've put so much work into our relationship. I can look back now in hindsight, I'm much more empathetic to to what you might have been going through on a neurological level like the brain trauma suffered during your accident, that in combination with some of the messed up relationships you had before, like but like, you know, when you're when you're in the storm, you're not really thinking about how a tornado was formed or what causes tornadoes. You're just like holding on for dear life.

[00:36:30]

And, you know, it was like we definitely went through some traumatic phases. And yeah, again, I'm much more empathetic to them.

[00:36:37]

And I don't know, I went through like a weird, like, kind of sloppy, slutty phase. I had never done that in my life. I've always been so buttoned up in regards to just like my sex life, chill. And yeah, I went through like extended sloppy phase with my girlfriend on national TV.

[00:36:55]

It's hard as it was to live through that and experience it. You know, it's very therapeutic. I've talked about this before to be on a reality TV show because you see like this mirror of yourself and, you know, because you can't avoid it, it really forces you to take that sort of like deep look into yourself and what's going on and be accountable for change.

[00:37:18]

Yeah, it's like going to therapy in front of millions of people and like, you get roasted alive on and on Twitter and Instagram. But also you get a lot of constructive feedback, too. We have some ruthless fans, but we also have some of the most insightful, intelligent, funny, compassionate fans ever like the DMS I've gotten into so thoughtful and like going in a different direction now. But like, I've had such great heart to hearts of people at Tom-Tom.

[00:37:43]

Oh, my God. From all walks of life. And just like these deep connections. But by the way, like just again, not looking for any sympathy here, but like when you're going into a scene and, you know, first of all, you fucked up, you've cheated on this person that you love and, you know, you have to sit down and almost it's not an ambush, but like that's just the law of the land of reality TV.

[00:38:06]

You don't tell each other ahead of time.

[00:38:08]

You save everything for the camera, not in a manipulative way, but just a way, because it's like we want to make our show authentic and real. And if we were to be talking about things or warning people or prepping things, we wouldn't be. The show that we have today is because you're getting like really like genuine reactions to real things that are happening.

[00:38:28]

If you would told me about that, I would have already prepared myself for what I was going to say.

[00:38:33]

And, you know, it's just you don't want that in that moment.

[00:38:36]

It feels like I'm ambushing almost with this horrible news because I did not think it was possible, because I felt like I knew you.

[00:38:44]

And I'm like, Tom is not that kind of guy. Like, I know I know his past. We've talked about like it's human error and I'm not that guy.

[00:38:52]

But I was that guy. And I went through like an extended, sporadic phase where I was sloppy and careless and a little slutty. I'm not making light of it, but it's like it feels like it's pretty far in the rearview now. And I'm just happier than I've ever been. And I feel like our relationships always getting better. I wouldn't say our relationship goals, but like we we've put in the work, we're like a tried and tested couple.

[00:39:17]

We don't sweep it under the rug like we learned not to. Because, Tom, when we went to therapy, he learned that he would suppress things and keep things bottled up and then it would explode. And so, like, we've gotten better about communicating things and talking things out. And I have to be more calm and patient, you know, on my end of things. And Tom's opened up more and it's communicating with me more. And I think just like getting those tools to help us has been invaluable.

[00:39:48]

Yeah, it took a long time. I didn't realize how deep the well of resentment ran. It took a long time into our relationship for me to get rid of. Those are those first few years I just had a lot of, like, emotional trauma that I never really process. Not to sound melodramatic, but I just it was traumatic for me. I never seen anything like that or experience anything like tequila.

[00:40:07]

Katie began before she had a name.

[00:40:10]

Yeah. I mean, and also like and yeah. And by the way, like I again, it wasn't all one sided. I was like this sort of reluctant boyfriend who was scared of still kind of statement. Yeah, I was a commitment AFO. I know your reasons for it, because I think you want to just feel so prepared and so solid in life and just, you know, and career and feel like I want to have a really great job before I get into this relationship, because I want to be able to like not like take care of me, but be able to.

[00:40:41]

Yes, but that's. So I wasn't sure that I could provide you with the love and care that you needed.

[00:40:49]

You know what I mean? Honey, I'm an independent woman. I know you are. You're strong, independent woman.

[00:40:53]

Just show up for me. No, but I know and I love and appreciate you because you were very adverse to inadequacy and you wanted to feel like you don't even before we got engaged.

[00:41:05]

And you I think you had these really beautiful ideas that maybe weren't entirely realistic to build and make every decision on our put things on hold for. I mean, just because, you know, life comes at you fast and you're waiting. If you're waiting for one specific thing, you're going to miss everything, shout out to my acting like I took a lot of acting classes.

[00:41:25]

By the way, I'm not a good actor, but still I love acting. I love being in acting classes. But I remember one of my teachers used to always tell me, like, do you spend too much time in the future?

[00:41:34]

Not the past. Yeah, but like, I'm reflective of my past and I've learned from my past. But I spent so much time living in the future. When I get this amount of money, I can finally do this and we can finally have a kid with this much money. It's just that's that's always been the way I've lived. But like that. What if that never comes? You know, it's like. Exactly. I mean, of course, I'm incredibly optimistic, but that's why you have me to just force your hand.

[00:42:00]

You mean how are you with that tyrant, Katie? How are you with, like, bitch? I get shit done. He's OK. I feel like you're your Libra. I'm a Capricorn. I'm like a let's let's get it done. Let's have a schedule. Where are we going to go. I'm a planner. Like you'll sit there and think about it and never plan anything.

[00:42:19]

You're great in terms of progress for the rest. I think when when you hear a lot of that, I think it's like sometimes they think you're an emotional tyrant and realize I have been.

[00:42:28]

That's not all I am, but I definitely can be and have been an emotional tyrant.

[00:42:33]

It's a bummer to see you defined as a mean girl and people calling you I like you because that's so not who you are sometimes with your like maybe Stacy and Kristen in particular, but and like people you just don't like, see what you want when you don't like somebody else, sugarcoat it. This is for the most part, a good thing. Try to see the good things in people. And you do for the most part in our little parallel universe.

[00:42:55]

That is reality TV sometimes can have quite the caustic tongue.

[00:43:00]

I know I've had a sharp tongue for many so sharp, the finely tuned skill I was I inherited that I'm very much aware of how big of a bitch I can be.

[00:43:10]

But also it's like it's usually pretty responsive. It's not like I don't just like come out the gate being a bitch for no reason. I'm not just evil. It's like if somebody crosses me or fucks with me, I'll destroy them with my words and I'll be very horribly mean. And that's not right. Doesn't make it OK. But it's just I've had to work on my reactions towards people and take a breath count to ten because I will unleash sometimes it's not warranted to.

[00:43:38]

And yeah, that's. Well you've got to, you are Switzerland. So yes.

[00:43:43]

You are you one hundred percent Switzerland. These people watch the show damn it.

[00:43:48]

It's very easy to see that you avoid conflict at all costs. For example, people were asking about, you know, right now being, you know, kind of in between or in the middle of Tom and Jack's. But like, you're very close and there are two of your best friends. And you used to be, you know, three. Some are best friends. Yeah. And so people are wondering, how are you dealing with that? The three amigos, you know, we can go to Tom's and a Jack's a tremendous trio for a long time.

[00:44:18]

You know, it's like we've sort of been in a relationship together. We've shared so much. We've been in the trenches of being the broke actor model dudes who have no idea where their next check is coming from.

[00:44:30]

That's like that's a bonding experience here in L.A. It's really difficult to to be very close with two of your best friends who you always to be best friends before. And I mean, I've been there with Kristen Stacy at times and maybe with girls it's different because we talk more.

[00:44:46]

There's zero communication pretty much between Tom and Jack's, but they did say happy birthday to each other. So I feel like that was a big step forward. I won't sugarcoat it. You know what, as an exercise and being more up front, I'll say, yeah, it's not they're not in a great place right now. And I've been hanging out with both of them a lot, and I love them differently.

[00:45:07]

But equally with girls, it's kind of like have you talked to what's her face? Oh, she's been talking shit about me.

[00:45:12]

Girls are a little more time, Jack. Don't do they don't. Yeah. Because I've been there from both in the U.S. just straight up. Don't talk about the other one. I'll sometimes broach the subject over cock. Hills sensitively and with discretion. I'll be very careful with what I say, because I don't like to ruffle feathers. Surprise, surprise. But you guys. Yeah, it makes me sad. They're not a great place. But then again, we're like pushing 40 here and them not being friends is not that big of a deal.

[00:45:39]

Maybe they've grown apart and it is what it is. No, what I want to let go of our trio mentality sometimes, OK?

[00:45:46]

I mean, I was just in this position, you know, I'm not going to speak for Stacy, even though I know, like, a lot of our feelings are aligned on things. But, you know, Stacy and Christian just got fired or it was announced that they weren't returning, you know, at the time, like before that Kristen and I obviously had like a bit of a falling out last summer. The last year had been really rough on our friendship, our relationship.

[00:46:08]

We weren't talking. I was like I was pretty certain that, like we weren't ever going to get back to being friends. I didn't know how that whatever happened, I couldn't quite see that road on the map yet. I was just like maybe one day, but like, I'm just so not there. And it just felt like we were on completely different pages. And then when all this shit went down, it was just like everything sort of just became petty to me, like our drama.

[00:46:29]

And I just saw my friend, who I've, you know, has been like a sister to me for ten years, struggling and hurting and just wanted to be there for her. And I'm in it kind of became an ice breaker. So I don't know what is going to take for Jax and Tom to get to that place, because I think I think I'm not going to say what they're going through is petty, but I think it's just stubbornness.

[00:46:50]

It is a little bit of that.

[00:46:51]

But also they're hyper focused on their own careers and love life right now, you know, so like, it's not it's not a big priority. And I am optimistic that they will rekindle that friendship at some point. It's never taken this long before. So that does scare me a little bit. But it's like it's I feel like if they were to both be hanging out right now, would it be terribly awkward now, maybe four months, but seven months ago it would be unbearable.

[00:47:18]

But like, have they hung?

[00:47:20]

I don't know when the last day of what has been the funniest thing or the funniest memory of something that you and Tom Sanabel have done so many to pull from.

[00:47:30]

Now, you guys get up to some shenanigans.

[00:47:33]

I love late night antics with Sandoval. I think people who have watched the show from the beginning realize this. He's kind of external. He is nocturnal.

[00:47:40]

I honestly think he doesn't really come alive till about nine thirty ten, although he's been getting a lot better at waking up early and working out and having more of a daytime morning routine.

[00:47:49]

But I'm not saying he's not up. He just doesn't get going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like ready. He's fired up and ready to go are like eight nine pm when I now for the most part I'm just kind of winding down. I want to be in bed by 10:00 or I can go to like 6:00 in the morning to occasionally now it's like five thirty and you're like, is it bedtime yet.

[00:48:07]

Yeah, but I'm sorry.

[00:48:09]

No, no, no, I won't answer the question. Yeah, I got to be concise here. One of my favorites, which people didn't actually see, they saw the aftermath, is getting the tattoos in Las Vegas because it was something I've always wanted to do. I was always tattoo curious. I didn't tell time, but I had planned before we went to that trip to Vegas, I was going to spring it on them. And I think maybe around like two or three in the morning, we were hammered, just absolutely wrecked.

[00:48:36]

And I was like, dude, let's get ass tattoos. And we ended up gambling for two or three more hours. And then we went to this place called Precious, slut's off the strip, shot up to precious slots for taking us. By the time we got there, I think we seemed pretty reasonable because, you know, they won't tattoo you if you're wasted. And I mean, it's one of those things. It kind of felt like the movie The Hangover, because even though I was present while I was getting that tattoo, I was pretty I was pretty numb.

[00:49:02]

And when I woke up, I just was like, oh my God, I had that mobarak did I actually when you came and showed me, I thought it was just like one of those, like a henna or a temporary tattoo and then I slapped her.

[00:49:14]

But you're like oh I wish we could like interact with the listeners right now because I want to ask them if they think getting a tattoo of your significant other name on your body is a jinx. I think it is a jinx. But Bubba, it was a pet name and I didn't feel like it was okay.

[00:49:30]

That's Bubba. That's what I want to talk about. Oh, Bubba. People, what about the the nickname?

[00:49:36]

And again, I do feel like something we've talked about. Some people are grossed out and annoyed by it, but whatever how that came to be, it just sort of happened.

[00:49:45]

It evolved organically. I think in the beginning I was like kind of obsessed with getting rubs from you.

[00:49:51]

You gave really good had it was like starting from B, which everybody had to be. Whoa, whoa, baby. I know.

[00:49:58]

I know we're supposed to be embracing our inner basic bitch selves and whatnot, but I was never that.

[00:50:04]

Basically, you were the one that printed out the thing where it's like, babe, baby, baby. Yeah.

[00:50:09]

So, I mean, maybe it was like one of those like where I thought it started off with rub rub rubber. It went from like baby to rub baby, baby, babe. To rub. To rub. And then from rubber to Bubba, Bubba Bub, and then, yeah, Bobby, like with my dogs, our dog excuse me, with our dogs, like pet names for me are always evolving and changing, although yours is Bubba for life.

[00:50:35]

Yeah, but what do I call you?

[00:50:37]

Do I have any other pet names for you. I go he rube like the guy from The Goonies cutie pie.

[00:50:44]

I like typing out Cutie Cutie and then Honey Bunny like from Pulp Fiction. I like just under the emoji thing everyone and the honey emoji with the bunny emoji podcasts are great. I love listening to them. I love consuming them. I wish we could interact with people to help me with some hard stuff. Let's get deep. We already did the deep shit. What's your favorite thing about being married?

[00:51:04]

Meeting new people and introducing you as my wife? It feels sexy and I'm sure you can remember that to call you my wife.

[00:51:11]

Although I'm very rarely wearing my wedding ring, you raise more than I do, but just in quarantine, I just don't want to wear jewelry at all. I don't want to wear clothes at all. I don't want to wear anything because I'm sure she gets restrictive.

[00:51:23]

If I'm going to go hike, if I'm going to work out, I don't want to damage my ring if I'm going to go swimming. How do people feel about that? Like, I feel like that's a source of contention in some relationships. Why aren't you wearing? Well, it's usually speaks to deeper problems such as like, you know, worries about infidelity or just like emotional.

[00:51:40]

I just try to, like, not wear mine because, you know, like, I don't want to scratch my stone. I don't want to scratch my band. And, like, people don't understand that, just like do daily activities, doing all that kind of stuff can even, you know, sleeping in it can be bad for you.

[00:51:54]

The ring what we have is pretty standard regards to how often we wear our rings. Right as time goes on. We've been together ten years. I don't need to wear my ring at all times. I will say sometimes when I'm on vacation, if I forget to bring my ring, I feel shady. Like Give me a Tom are doing a gig in Atlantic City. Like one of the first things other girls are fans of the show will be like, why aren't you wearing your ring like in this sort of like week because credulous sort of incriminating tone or no.

[00:52:21]

Say no, no, no, I just forgot it. I know it looks like because they, you know, start thinking about what they've seen from me on the show, getting drunk and being a douche or so.

[00:52:29]

But then there's those girls become snakes and then they're like, oh, well, he fucks around. So I'm going to try to like, take advantage of that.

[00:52:37]

Never happens. I like Tom. I it has happened. It did happen.

[00:52:42]

Well, it's one of the times in modern times, vintage times. That's how it happened. Anyways, um, speaking of those things for celebrity help passes, it's ever evolving.

[00:52:56]

First of all, I think most people's are. I don't believe in that. But I think you should only be able to, like, change it up every like few years.

[00:53:03]

Which ones are laminated, I would say. And friends, when I think Ross Lemonade's is I think Duleep was probably laminated.

[00:53:13]

I've always had a thing.

[00:53:14]

I've had a major crush on Amanda Seefried. But then sometimes people like she looks just like Stacy. And I'm like that. I mean, I love I love Stacy so much. But then I don't want to be weird that I have a crush on because they both have blue eyes. I don't care. You're the one who said that the first time I told you I had a crush on her.

[00:53:28]

But and I would say that, like, they resemble each other, but they don't look like I've always had a crush on them. Of course, Milivojevic, especially Milkovich in the Fifth Element. One more. If that's my last fifth element reference, I promise they don't come to mind as quickly as they may be used to.

[00:53:45]

When we were not as happy in our relationship back in the day like two thousand nine, I had a list of like twenty who are mine.

[00:53:52]

Let's see. Nobody asked, nobody asked. They asked both this, what are your guys?

[00:53:58]

Hit me with it. I bet you I can guess the rock. No, Bruce Willis. Well, maybe.

[00:54:05]

Yeah, yeah. Bruce Willis. Yeah.

[00:54:09]

That's all I can think of. Off the top of my head is what. That's the last with the whole cast of the Fifth Element. Paul Rudd.

[00:54:15]

Paul Rudd. I thought.

[00:54:17]

I mean, everybody I think everybody's at least somewhat attracted to Paul Rudd. He saw probably good looking.

[00:54:22]

He's so good looking and he just doesn't age and. Yeah. Personality wise. Yeah, ten. I don't know him personally, but that's my guess. I don't know. I don't know.

[00:54:33]

Maybe I'm talking like a weird one. You have to pick a cast member. No I'm kidding.

[00:54:39]

Don't do it. Oh my God. So can you imagine if we went down that. No, it's not even realistic. It's not. I know I was kidding.

[00:54:48]

No other people, they go there, we'll pump the brakes.

[00:54:52]

What is your dream destination for a trip? Well, Borbor, our honeymoon was like world class. I'm not going to be annoying and gush about it. But you've seen the pictures.

[00:55:00]

It looks like a postcard in person. That's exactly what it is. And it's not cheap. But like, just you can find a way. It's not insanely expensive. Depends on where you go. I mean, there's different islands to go to.

[00:55:08]

But let's see, my ideal vacation right now, my ideal destination anywhere with you. But that's that's corny. You go anywhere in the world right now. I've never been to Europe, you guys.

[00:55:19]

I mean, I've been to Iceland. You want to go to. Amsterdam, right? I want to go to Amsterdam, I want to go to Berlin, I want to go just take in culture and history. I want to go see the Colosseum. I want to gallivant and Italy.

[00:55:32]

Problem is, you never want to leave town for more than a week. Well, it's because the dogs. So you can't go anywhere and travel with us.

[00:55:39]

When you travel to Europe, you basically it's a whole day to get there and then you kind of like need some time to sort of acclimate. So you got to like the first day is always kind of like you don't want to plan too much crazy shit those first days, you know, then you kind of like settle into it.

[00:55:54]

Like when we went to Tokyo and like we really got groovin on like day three to Tokyo, an awesome electric city that I cannot wait to go back to. I'm still jazz that we got to experience.

[00:56:06]

It was the best. It's like one of the coolest cities I've ever been to. Everything so clean. People are so respectful. I want to ask your listeners, though, like going back to, like, home sick after seven days. Is this is this a normal thing? You guys like I start to miss the dogs basically after, like, seven, eight days. And I'm like, we got to go back right now. My dream destination is also to answer your question.

[00:56:28]

Finally, it's actually not Europe. It's Tom-Tom, because I was just kidding. I do miss it so much. You know, Charlotte's Tom-Tom and home, my dream destination. If I could go anywhere in the world right now to the Greek islands. I've been to Athens, but I haven't been to the islands. And I would like I just want to go be somewhere on the coast or the beach just like post up.

[00:56:52]

That sounds romantic, right? We were going to go there on our honeymoon, but yeah, we went to Borbor Tahiti.

[00:56:58]

Yeah. Said, OK, well, a couple more questions.

[00:57:02]

Still, it's getting longer than normal, so hopefully you're still with us.

[00:57:07]

You haven't dipped out by now. What are some of your phobias?

[00:57:13]

I know at least one of them.

[00:57:14]

A mild version of the last of phobia, just like being in water, not knowing what's underneath me is what I understand of that term. And it really scares the bejesus out of me. My mom instilled like a deep fear of sharks.

[00:57:28]

Oh, I am still blown away. Like, for instance, Max will go out to Malibu and surf San Diego and surf. I have a phobia of the water, although I'm getting better. I have a phobia of mayonnaise. Creamy white food. Well, no, those there's expressions of sour cream you won't eat. I love ice cream. I love yogurt. I love you. That's pretty much it, actually.

[00:57:50]

You'll do cream cheese. You'll do ice cream. I want to creaminess unless it's semisweet. But Ranch's ranch's abomination. No, it's not. I used to have a phobia of commitment in terms of relationships, I think. Correct. That's pretty much it. I love listening to other people's phobias, though. It's always fascinating to me. Like like you remember, I like just watching Maury Povich and like seeing people who are truly terrified of like pickles.

[00:58:15]

What am I scared of? What are my phobias? Probably going outside. I have a little I think I have, like, minor agoraphobia.

[00:58:22]

Yeah, you do. I'm not even being funny. Like, I really think I have a minor phobia. Bad son.

[00:58:29]

Scary. I don't it's more about the people.

[00:58:32]

Yeah. See, I'm so much better. I love I love going out reading people. I love being a writer.

[00:58:37]

The thing is I do, I love people, I love meeting people. But sometimes the thought of having to like go into a store and just having to talk to other people, I can't deal. That's relatable.

[00:58:48]

I think everyone can relate to that on some level. Sometimes you just the thought of of small talk with someone I hate about phobias.

[00:58:55]

I love it. I love it. But sometimes if you're hungover or sick or you're irritable or you've had a horrible day like and someone comes up to you and just like you, maybe you're with a group of friends and you're going out for drinks like, so what do you do?

[00:59:08]

And you just want to slap them so hard. You want to you want to slap them right across the face and get up and walk away.

[00:59:15]

I love people. I love interacting with them. But some people know, but sometimes I hate everyone. Yeah, I also am really scared of spiders because when they bite me, I have a crazy reaction to them. Bubbs, you see the welts. Yeah. And they lose and they itch. She's scared of jellyfish, you guys, because you always make me scared because.

[00:59:40]

Because I will be I will be the person that gets stung. Like without a doubt. I know that's what's coming for me. You know, the housewife taglines, right?

[00:59:48]

Yeah. What was yours?

[00:59:49]

B, we figured this. Well, yeah. Well mine is ready for. Yeah. My wife may fly coach but I'm first class. That's not even true. I know. But that one time I got upgraded and someone made a meme about it.

[01:00:02]

You should see I might fly coach but my wife is first class. Mm. That's not a good one.

[01:00:09]

I know but I stole it was a meme from the Internet. Mine used to be don't mistake my kindness for weakness because I'll fuck you up.

[01:00:16]

That's pretty good. I think I need to update it though. Haven't figured. Out, I'll get back to you on that. We should all have at least three housewives taglines ready to go at all times, but different moods, different times of the day.

[01:00:30]

I think that covers a lot of the stuff I wanted to talk about and all the questions that you don't want to ask me.

[01:00:36]

Anything I have been asking. You think these are these are these are the combination. But I feel like I know you. Yeah.

[01:00:44]

I got nothing to say to you. You want for dinner? Not that I'm good, actually. You have nothing to say to my. I'm just kidding. Let's go watch a movie. Anybody who's listening. I miss I miss you guys. I miss hanging out a Tom. Tom, you know.

[01:00:56]

Tom, do you have any updates on Tom?

[01:00:58]

Tom still closed indefinitely, but always optimistic.

[01:01:02]

I mean, just right now, everything is such a health and safety threat is really high.

[01:01:08]

It's hard to turn a profit in the restaurant industry and half capacity with all these. You know, right now, all these protocols, restaurants that have, like a lot of them, have converted parking lots into outdoor dining or built on decks. But TomTom doesn't really I mean, it's very sandwiched in that. And that section is. But, yeah, hopefully soon. And then what? Can you give an update on the Chillen Attiya in the memos I love make it merged, by the way.

[01:01:37]

I got some really cool merch coming out. It's it's like it's like a great little exercise and starting something will conceiving something, starting and finishing it, you know what I mean?

[01:01:48]

I have a lot of things that sort of you committed to those moves a lot faster than committed to me.

[01:01:53]

I did a bit of a bounce, but I just know it's a very sad, very creatively satisfying coming up with, like, ideas from it. I try to make stuff that people will dig even if they don't like me or know the show. But I have a really cool time, like Art Nouveau style Tom-Tom mural coming out that I commissioned this this artist called Molly Tuggle. And I should have some really cool stuff coming up soon. T-shirts and two new Tom-Tom hats, t shirts and the hats are the best demos, so.

[01:02:20]

And where can people go buy all this at Vandeweghe?

[01:02:23]

Well, it's not out yet, but it's at Banjoists Seo Backslash, Tom. And you do have stuff available right now.

[01:02:30]

You know, I think I have some of the old Tom-Tom murals, but like I have some new chilling gear.

[01:02:34]

And like, I got some I got some stuff I'll be proud of coming out the next month or two and maybe some seasonal stuff. And, yeah, you got some good stuff back in March coming out.

[01:02:44]

It's like it's not it's not incredibly lucrative, but it's like super fun for me. I love plugging it. I love seeing people's reactions to it. Like, people love those damn Tom-Tom hats. They're always it'll hit me up from it.

[01:02:56]

They fit really well. And everyone loves the moon moves.

[01:02:59]

People who don't know the show that I've seen the hat. Oh, I love that hat. Who don't really know. They just die anyways.

[01:03:05]

But the moon moves. Everyone loves because you love in the moon was I do. I think you should make some green pants for when people are feeling extra spicy.

[01:03:14]

Someone curse me. Early on when I was wearing a pair of green Adidas and now whatever I put them on, I sort of looks out a whole dog. It's not you're not going to like me when I'm wearing green pants.

[01:03:25]

Nope. You run for the hills. But and then speaking of dog, are we going to get a new lizard or reptile? We didn't just so everyone knows we didn't kill Dog.

[01:03:37]

We're ninety nine point ninety nine percent sure he was sick by the time we got him, because sometimes when they transport, they just their health deteriorates. And because for the moment we got him. He just was had zero spunk. He was apathetic.

[01:03:52]

Yeah. Like they said, they said it was just temporary. Maybe that he was acclimating was an acclimation phase. Rest in peace. Dog is in the back yard right now. I buried him in our backyard. We were flirting with bluetongue skinks. We are it's a commitment, though. And, you know, I'm a commitment of phobe. Twenty to thirty years they live what I think could easily outlive me.

[01:04:09]

And I'm. Yes, that's fine. That's fine. But but see, that's why it's so everyone's always asking us about babies when we're going to have a baby. But you hear how tough Mr. Commitment for himself.

[01:04:21]

I'm yeah. I mean, I've gotten better about being in the present and not living in the future like we talked about. But I'm still kind of living in the present. Like, we'll have a baby when the time is right. When I have you know, we are not getting any younger.

[01:04:33]

We're going to have a baby. Let's go make a baby. Let's end right there. Doesn't work like that.

[01:04:37]

I got the app in right now. Tonight is not the time, but we could practice.

[01:04:42]

By the way, thank you for everybody's still tuned in. I appreciate you guys. But should we tell them how how sad our dogs get when they see us having sex? Oh, disturbed.

[01:04:53]

Well, I don't know. It's usually just afterwards they're like, what the fuck?

[01:04:57]

They're like takes like some someone was murdered or like they're just they're traumatized. Yeah. What have you done to each other and what were those noises for now?

[01:05:10]

I'm sorry, TMI.

[01:05:12]

Sorry, Mom.

[01:05:13]

Yeah it is. Yeah it's scary. Anyways, what else.

[01:05:18]

Anything joke.

[01:05:19]

Yeah. Because. We never have sex, ha ha ha. Is there anything else you wanted to add? What do you want the people to know?

[01:05:26]

Well, there's some cool things I'm working on. I don't want to plug them right now.

[01:05:30]

And it's not about plugging, but just anything that you wanted to get out.

[01:05:33]

And I'm having good days and bad days. I'm having highs and lows. I'm definitely I almost lost my mind at least seven or eight times. But for the most part, I am very, very optimistic about life in a post covid world. I'm optimistic about the vaccines. I mean, it's going to take a few years, at least for everything to get back to what is what you want to talk about? I don't know.

[01:05:55]

I mean, I'm trying to leave on a I mean, like like if there was any questions that were asked and if you want it, that's what you want to talk about. I won't stop.

[01:06:02]

You know, I just I was just trying to be relatable because I just I had said so many goals early on. We would quarantine first started it, and I haven't accomplished all those goals. Sometimes I get down on myself and I have a lot of luck. Yeah, I have a lot of things that are sort of in incompletion purgatory. Like there's a lot of things that I think everybody I know. But it feels me and I'm like, I have no excuse not to do these things.

[01:06:24]

But this is something outside of you bearing on me, starting to write a movie that I've wanted to write for a long time.

[01:06:30]

OK, well then. OK, let's not get into what the hell are you doing, OK? Criticism and self-loathing. Yeah, we want to keep it positive and light anyways. OK, well, let's just end it there. Thank you, honey.

[01:06:40]

Love you guys. Thanks for listening. Love you, bubba. I love you too. Well, until next time around.

[01:06:46]

Oreo's. Thank you so much for listening. Please make sure to subscribe, leave a reading and review, follow along on Social at Musicales and tune in next week for an all new episode.