Episode 26: Model Students
Zack to the Future- 1,297 views
- 10 Mar 2021
Mark-Paul and Dashiell kick off Season 2 with a conversation about the late Dustin Diamond. They then break down the episode where Zack’s swimsuit calendar scheme brings a questionable photographer to the halls of Bayside.
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Welcome to Back to the Future, I'm your co-host, Daniel Driscol, joined today by the creative director behind the girls of Bayside Swimsuit Catalog excuse me, calendar, Mark Goslar. Hello. My call.
Not my proudest moment, Daniel, but hello, Daniel. Good to see you this second season, by the way, is it?
Oh, it is second season. Right. Welcome back. I should say. I mean, we we delivered twenty five episodes. Some of them were phenomenal. Some of them were great, a couple of them were just fine. And some of them not going to some of them were really fun. All of them were really. Remember that. Yeah. Remember that thing from feels like six years ago it was actually like five weeks. Welcome back. This is season two.
Exactly the future. Thank you, Mark Paul, for coming back to to watch more saved by the bell. I, I know. I appreciate it. Listen, I hate to break it to you this way so bluntly, but I'm under contract to be here. So I'm I'm here for this next season and then next year for the third season. Boy, oh, boy. We're going to we're going to renegotiate. We're going to break the bank.
There's money involved in that. And you hear that Daschle, the cha ching. I get a bag of Skittles every six weeks. I did not know there was actual currency being exchanged. But look, I knew you weren't going to get a Kit Kat two, by the way. Oh, my God. Now that we're talking about Candy, what's your favorite? Candy, the audience wants to know, do do they they really they they wrote in demanding to know I like Sour Patch kids responded my like long distance runner favorite.
Candy. What about you, Paul? Do you like what's your favorite color, though, in the Sour Patch world?
Oh, I'm a I'm a I'm a real freak. I like to take like the greens and the oranges and I kind of make like a Frankenstein citrus body out of different parts of the citrus children. Real serial killer stuff. What about you, Mark? Well, if we're talking about Sour Patch, I like the red. I like I like gummies. You know, like I like the Haribo gummy bears. I think those are like the the top tier of the of the the candy world, the gummy world.
But Haribo makes a lot of, like, gummy stuff and I think all their stuff are great. I grew up angling for a sponsor. Now if they want to send it my way and I don't know, I frequently purchase their stuff. I just bought some today for the kids, these little watermelon pieces that are made by the. Anyway, I grew up a little bit in Holland because my parents are immigrants from Holland and the candy there is licorice, but it's salted licorice and I absolutely love salted licorice.
I actually just had a few pieces right before we started this podcast. So excuse my breath. I can't smell it. I actually had some good and plenty of licorice candy not too long before hitting record on this podcast. Look, it has to do licorice eaters now out there in the world. Do you like black licorice or the red licorice? Like, would you will you eat a red vine or are you a Twizzlers fan?
Oh, I'll do both, but I do. I like black licorice. I'm a I don't know. I have like some like a maybe some like Eastern European genetics or something. But like, I feel like I have it has been passed down to me, this taste for black licorice.
Yeah, well, I knew my wife was my soulmate. One time when we talked about this, we had this conversation. And if she if I hadn't met her, then you and I could, you know, I guess fingers crossed, it's like sliding doors. Yeah. Yeah. But she actually when we were on, I think it was our first date, we talked about black liquor, salted black licorice. And she was she knew exactly what it was.
Her family's from Scotland. And so she she spent a lot of time over overseas and has has had little salty licorice and loves it. Our kids love it. And it's a fun little thing to bring to their schools for show and tell, like we actually eat this.
Oh, right. This this candy that taste kind of weird and bad to you. We like it. Yeah. That's a fun thing for kids. I remember that kind of stuff.
Well, that brings us to our first of two of the smoothest possible transitions and they will both be in this episode. We are a smooth transition. No. One, right before we recorded or just after we recorded the season finale of last season, Jessie song The Day After, actually, Dustin Diamond suddenly and very sadly passed away. And there was a lot of fans saying, well, are you going to do the next episode about Dustin or how are you going to handle it?
And we already had the episode recorded, so we couldn't we couldn't really add anything. And Elizabeth was such a great guest. But I want to take some time at the top here to just touch on it, because I don't know how we couldn't. I mean, it was such a such huge news for for fans of the show, fans of television, fans of Dustin. Um, and yeah. Marc Paul. I guess I just wanted to touch base because we haven't really talked about it.
Yeah. I mean. First of all, so sad for for anyone to pass away but a young man like himself. Forty four years old, shocking because it happened so quickly. Three weeks before that we had heard about a diagnosis was it was kind of kept sort of under the radar and not a lot of details. Mario had spoken to him. He was kind of filling me in and some of the rest of the cast. And then, yeah, February 1st, as you know, Dustin passed away so suddenly I was actually doing a Zoome call with Mario on his show.
And we wrap that up. And then five minutes later, him and I call each other and said, did you see the news? Just just sad. Shocking, I feel for his his his family and his friends. You know, it's no it's no secret that the rest of the cast wasn't very close with Dustin towards the end of his life. And the only thing I can say to that is there's really nothing that that that caused that. You know, some people will speculate that, oh, well, he wrote a book or he did this or he did that.
I know for me, I would look at that and just go, you know what? That's Dustin.
And I would have you know, I could see where he would have to do things to to to to make ends meet and never took it personally. We we actually did a Comic-Con back in twenty nineteen end of the year, saw he looked healthy, met his girlfriend. And, you know, we had a nice little conversation and we took some photos together with some of the fans and that was it. We didn't we didn't talk after that. And what would a lot of people don't understand is that you can work with somebody.
For many years, I worked with Dennis Franz for seventy two episodes.
We did four years of NYPD Blue together. We were every single day for those four years, nine months out of the year, sitting across from each other knew the ins and outs of each other's lives. The show wraps. I've probably spoken to Dennis maybe four times, and that's just the nature of of this industry that we're in as soon as this show is over. I'm never talking to you again.
I know there are days of talking are numbered. I know that. But it's a sad thing about the business.
But it does happen. I mean, I've worked with a lot of people in my career and there are very few people that I still remain in contact with only because you you I mean, I've really enjoyed it. Almost everyone that I've worked with.
I mean, I can count on one hand the people that I would never call and and don't have too many nice things to say about them. Dustin was not one of them. And, you know, I I would reach out to him if if he needed me. And but it just. Yeah.
Over the years, you just kind of drift apart, you know, anything is complimentary. Sorry. Go ahead.
No, I'm saying but it all started from the very beginning. I mean, he was three years younger than us, which is which is light years when you're in your teens. Yeah. And that carried over. I mean, just think back when you were in school, if you were a senior, you never hung out with the freshmen.
You know, when you talk about dating, dated somebody that was younger. Uh, my high school girlfriend. Yeah. She was two grades below me, but also, like in high school, like it was I don't know, girls also mature faster than boys. I'm sure she was more of an adult than I was and a lot of way. Yeah. You should go with that. Go with that officer.
Officer girl's matured but more rapidly than than us guys.
That's a pretty good impression of me. I will say that. But we're going to get to that.
We're going to get to some of that stuff in this episode with the with Adam Trask, the photographer.
But but we're still we're still in this segment. Yeah. No, you've been like I I knew going into this podcast what I think that the fans largely knew that the relationship between you and Dustin and maybe the rest of the cast was was complicated to use, like a maybe overused word sometimes. And I wanted to tread lightly and not bring up anything or kind of hear your relationship with him through your own words just by watching these episodes. And you've been so complimentary of him.
You have not said a single. There never been a bad word about him on this podcast. And I, I, you know, when I heard the news, I just thought, like, I, I wonder if it was even more heavy hitting because you've now spent like a couple of months revisiting all these old shows you have never watched. And it was that much more top of mind that you guys had this like. Yeah, you. Didn't become super close afterwards, and you weren't you were drifting apart at the time just by virtue of your ages, but you you created something really special that has survived the test of time.
And, you know, you've been you've been waiting through it. So for this to kind of happen right now at this point in your life, as I would imagine, it's never a good time when someone, you know, passes. But it was even I would I would imagine it was even more top of mind your past with them?
Yeah, definitely. And looking back on the show, he was a genius when it came to this this type of comedy. I mean, for someone his age to do some of the things he does on screen are brilliant. And, you know, I said it in a tweet, you know, a statement right after his passing. And I truly meant it. He was he was just watching the shows. Now, we've talked about this. I mean, the respect that I have for him is immense.
Some people will say, well, why wasn't he in the reboot or why wasn't he on the Fallon way? Why hasn't he been included, the magazine covers or whatever it was along the way? Oh, yeah, the magazine cover. So, I mean, what people don't understand is there's a lot of politics involved in in this stuff that is just it's not even in our hands at that point. Maybe someone on our cast has an issue and you have to respect that.
If somebody says, look, I I have an issue with something, he said, OK, you know, we kind of have to stick together and here that person and understand it where they're coming from and then make a decision. And sometimes those decisions aren't made by us. You know, we work for we work for executives. And maybe someone over there has an issue with it that we don't even know about. And that's why someone's not a part of something specifically with a reboot.
I know that we were talking to get Dustin on the reboot for the second season. There were even talks to get them for the first season, but covid cut that short. So there's a lot going on that people don't understand. I just you can't explain all of it. I just I just yeah. I just want people to know that he was an amazing actor on this show. He was a good friend. But other than that, I don't know much about Dustin because we were, you know, for 20 plus years, we we just were not in each other's lives.
But my memories of him are all positive. And, you know, I I feel for his family and friends and hope he's resting in peace now.
Well, I appreciate you being so candid and honest about your feelings and, you know, taking some time to address it. And like I said, there's going to be two smooth transition to this episode. We already had one. Here comes your second. Let's get in to model students. I lost the name for a second. I that was a hard transition to make model students. This episode of Saved by the Bell Marple. I know we're back season two, but I'm I'm pretty sure you did your homework.
I mean, you seem to have made a reference to it just now. But in case anyone at home didn't maybe need to take a minute to catch your breath or whatever, after after that last ten minutes, here's a little synopsis of model students. The nerds are running the Bayside student store where Kelly works into the ground. So Zach has building fire them. When sales remain sluggish, Zach gets the idea to secretly photograph the girls at swim practice and sell a girls of Bayside calendar.
The calendars are a huge hit. The girls object until a photographer from Teen Fashion Magazine shows up to investigate this new talent. He offers Kelly the chance to work for a month in Paris. Zach, feeling insecure, attempts to sabotage her career by making her feel guilty about letting her friends down. The photographer sees what's going on and reprimand Zach. Zach apologizes to Kelly, who goes to spend the month in Paris. And just like that, we are, in fact, one more poll of for my money, one of the more shocking Zach Morris schemes through the lens of time.
Yeah, even then, I don't know how this got on the air. I don't I do not know what was going on that this was put on TV.
It was. And there's there's a few things I just want to point out right from the beginning. You know, my three takeaways. This will become a segment for us. Oh, my.
Three days. That sounds good. Three takeaways. It's something new for season two. Let's innovate. Let's add a segment.
I just happen to have three things written here that I that I want to discuss. One is this whole episode is about bullying nerds.
It's I really feel like the writers and maybe you can enlighten us with this, but even the names of these guys write the names of these nerds. People can't see that I'm making. You can radio, I'll explain the theater of the mind. He's doing air quotes, but, you know, David Marcus plays Norman Hattan back, Richard Israel plays Ronald Glickman and my favorite nerd. I don't know who plays his nerd, but his name is Herbert. And he's the best.
He is the absolute best, like his sneer. I love this guy. But this whole whole episode is just about bullying nerds, which is not cool.
Another thing, anyone not cool, but. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean so I mean, I guess you can bully bullies.
That's where, that's where bullying is confusing. You should bully a bully, but then you've become the monster you fear the most.
I don't know. It's a slippery slope.
One of the other things is, yeah, Zach is he's just an abuser. My Lord, this kid, he's an emotional abuser.
It's it's pretty gnarly. Like I mean, we'll get into it. But like, as far as I was watching, I remember watching this one when I was making the Zach Morris crash videos is like kind of rediscovering like, oh, some of these plans were like actually pretty nefarious.
But the way he turns the screws on the people around Kelly is like other that is not of a team that is like a an evil genius.
So is is this the definition of gaslighting? Is Zack Morris? What do you mean? Oh, he's big time, but it's not even just gaslighting. It's like gaslighting is like if I turned the heat up in this room and I tell you it's freezing, I'm just like lying to you about what's in front of you. But he's like seeding misinformation on both sides. Like, it's like stuff you he's like I mean, I guess it's a version of gaslighting, but it's like it's like a misinformation campaign.
It's like it's it's crazy how he how his act plays this even with I mean, literally with Kelly and the friends do. We'll get into it. But you please. What was your side that you learned that Zach was not so great.
What was your third take away? The third takeaway is this is unprecedented, but I counted four boom mic appearances throughout this episode. I'll point them out in case our fans are listening and watching this time, are watching and listening at the same time, whichever you plan to do. But there are there's quite a few appearances by the boom. Yeah.
It also like I don't know what it was, I double checked, but there's like a weird lighting quality to this episode where it looks, it looks brighter or like more blown out or something. There's like a different feel to it. I'm not sure what that what that's all about. Maybe just the way the student store was lit up, but yeah. Did you watch it on Hulu or did you watch it on petcock.
I watched it on both. I watch, I watch it on Hulu and then I watch it on Peacocke. Same thing. Yeah.
Maybe, maybe I need to fix my TV. Maybe that's the issue. But yeah. And I do not notice the booms but I know that say by the bell is what's it called there. That happened.
There were quite a few boom shots over the years of production and they, they just didn't like so many things. I think I'd be back here. I counted four of them in this episode that that's something's not right there. And once we go into the first one, I'll show you. The first one is I'll talk a little bit about the boom and like how hard that job is. And and we've done. Yeah, it's it it's a tough I mean, I would love to I would I could spend all day talking about sound guys and sound gals.
But just like that, we're in Act one at the Bayside Student Store, a place we have never seen and we will never see again. And yeah, the nerds really have the run of the place. I'm not doing the worst job. I mean, I know before they before it's I mean, I guess I'm cheating because I've seen this a bunch of times, but I like I forgot that there's a joke around the framed Fred Rogers picture. I thought that was just like in there quietly.
I didn't realize it would be the the scene blow. But the nerds seem to be doing an OK. What what does a student store need to be? It has sat prep guides and pens. And so what if they sell some weird knickknacks? Let them, you know, let them have that.
And so the the first boom appearance is right at the we we've had this debate minus twenty one, unless it's that it's not even really a debate. But we've, we've had this I mean now who's gaslighting monarchial.
It is that is not a timecode. You would never but sure. On on Hulu if you want to count backwards it is minus twenty one eleven or it's like Arzak walks. I mean it's right before you get on the closer shot of Zach like on his entrance. Yeah it's right on my entrance.
It's at the on the y at the top of the medium top right hand corner you see a boom just so people understand like in a sitcom environment there's four cameras, some of them. Well I would imagine most of them are manned by people. Hours were and the the boom tower, it was like this platform that had wheels and you can move it around. And we usually had two of them. And what a boom. It's like a long what would you say?
Like a long stick. So long stick. I mean, it's considered a boom, right? I mean, then at the end of that would be a microphone. And whoever's talking, the operator would have to follow. You know, the person talking, so Zach is talking, Keli's over there by the cash register, if she talked, he would have to swing over the boom as quick as he could and drop it just out of frame so that he could get a good recording of her.
And it's not easy, you know, because you have to know the frame of where the where the cameras are. If the camera tips up a little bit, maybe out of error, you will see the boom nowadays, like on mixed ish, we have these guys on set holding these booms and they're really cool. They're like carbon fiber. So they're really light, but they're over their shoulder, over their heads, you know, kind of like doing a press and they're closer to us.
Plus we're wearing mikes on on an hour on ourselves. So sometimes you can actually see the mic wire on tighter shirts on on certain things, but on saved by the bell. We didn't do that. We just had these boom tower things with a microphone on. And, you know, that's why we have these little mishaps and kind of fun fun for us to to skewer.
Yeah, everybody makes mistakes, including the boom operator. It is a exhausting job. Just imagine holding your arms above your head for five minutes. It's not easy. Not just not not on sitcoms, on the sitcoms.
It's an actual apparatus. It's like a big boom apparatus that has a crank on it. So it goes in and out and it's a big heavy thing. The ones on like my show now, single camera, half hour single game, you know, now you can get a boom operator operator closer in because the camera's you know, we don't we we take different angles and whereas in a sitcom it's, you know, three walls and four cameras and just a different process.
So we can't have, you know, these operators close to us. But anyway, so, yeah, we're here in this. And the students or I'm confused by this because we've never seen the students or we'll never see it again. It seems like the students have no idea that this actually exists here on the school, because when the cast comes in, Slater and Jesse and Lisa and Screech, they have no idea. They're looking around like, what is this stuff like?
It's like Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. They're just like, what is this new world? I think this is for just my own mental no keeping. I think this is where you guys joined the military. I think it's the same room because it looks like the same, like trophy case. And like I think it's the same space. You know, you guys had your.
Well, yeah, we've talked about this, too, is that if you were sitting in the audience and you were right smack dab in the audience. Smack dab, why do that go out of my mouth like that, I don't know. That's a way to describe where you would be smack dab in the middle, you know? Did I say in the middle, though, I just smack dab.
But I mean, if this is a good licorice and smack dab, if you're if you're well, you're not going to be smack dab on the left.
If you're smack dab, do you are you're in the middle. I would recognize. I get that. But I don't I think I left out middle or anything. I think you're being overly critical on your part. It's fine. I need to stop. Look where it's we it's a bumpy start getting back into the flow.
We'll figure it out by episode 50.
All right. So if you're sitting in the audience and you're smack dab in the middle, that would be the hallway and on to the right.
So basically, you know, just the next set over would be this set. And that was like one of our swing sets. We've become a classroom. We've become the gym. So, yeah, we would switch these out, which is probably why in this episode we don't have any classrooms.
I didn't even notice that. But yeah, there you go. But there's a couple of things here that's wrong. You know, we talked about the bullying of the nerds. Something that you probably should never say to someone is something that Zack says to them.
And he's like looking at some of the stuff and he goes, there's nothing in here any normal person would buy. Yeah, yeah.
It's like not it's not the language is not nice. Also, I did these did these nerds, like, hit some kind of universal lottery that the only person who wants to work in their store is Kelly, the only person who will take this job? Well, she gets the money is right. She goes, I know. I'm like, no shit.
Your father your dad gets crazy. Yeah. She needs his money selling pens for ninety eight cents a pop, like like she's going to pay off her parent's mortgage. It is so like they really do see it in the fact that like Kelly works hard and she needs this job and Kelly will have several jobs. She's one of the only I mean, besides when you guys go to Malibu, she's like the only one of your friends group is regularly working.
But, yeah, she she needs this job with them.
There's a lesson here, by the way. If you give nerds like a little bit of power, they I mean, speaking as a as a nerd, by many people's definitions, nerds will abuse a little bit of power. It's it's true. So there's this is accurate. But Jack doesn't need to be so mean and cruel and hey, nothing wrong with a framed picture of Mr. Rogers. I wish I had one of those. That sounds pretty cool.
Never mind the fact the why would there be a framed picture of Mr. Rogers in a student store? What does that what purpose would that, sir?
I think it's just to like show how like just how nerdy they are that they dislike that they oh, because of that with their dress and the way they spoke and the way they want you, you needed you needed an additional piece of evidence.
I thought it was I mean, just the fact that they want a framed picture of him that's also autographed. It is not for sale. That's a joke that works for me. I thought that was a real extreme. And they've booby trapped it with, like, alarms.
So going back to something I said earlier where I said possibly you could give us insight. You know these names, Ronald Regan, and we're going to get to another name down the line with, oh, gosh, what's her name? I have it on my notes here.
Harriet Hypponen, great name. Well, that's a great name. Well, how do you guys come up with these names in the writers room? Because, like, how do you just come up with a name? Like, are these are do you think these last names or people they know?
And then because you have to clear names to write, you do have to clear name. So just a little bit of insights. Yeah. Yeah. The clearing names process is fascinating and I had never experienced it firsthand until getting to work on season one of the reboot. But essentially you have to deliver the lawyers at the network, the names you want to use of every single character, and they have to check. And there's some kind of process like if there's any of the numbers, like if there's more than three people who live in an area who have that name, you're good to go.
You can use that name because any one of those three people can't say, hey, I think that character is like impersonating me or inspired by me or like I I retain the rights to me. So you better pay me if you want my name. What area, though?
What are you talking about? Like if if the show is placing the Palisades or. Yeah, I think it's in any geographical area.
I think it's like in like if there's like three John Smiths in Phoenix or something like any of you, you need to be able to, to show this name is popular enough in a region. I'm probably there's people went to law school who are much smarter than me, so they could probably clarify that there's more to it than that or I'm fudging something up. But those are like the broad strokes. You need to show evidence that this name is popular enough.
It's not one exact person and we are on duty. But we had to like the character names that were different in the pilot that by the time it aired, we tweaked because legal was like, no, this this person exists and there's only one of them and you just happen to pick that name. So it is a process. And it's it's also kind of weird to, like, live with the Karak. His name for six months or something, and then they change because there's another one and I'm going to say Phoenix again, why not?
But as far as coming up with a name like I mean, Harriet Hesselman is great because it just you have that like. Harriet's feels like an old time. I mean, it just evokes an image right away. I don't know why they went with her as being like for some reason, I think names like Bertha, I think saved by the Bell, had a birther joke or something like their certain names that sound like a bigger person or certain names sound like an older person.
I mean, you know, sometimes you meet someone, you're like you are a Zik I've if I've ever met a, you are him. So when you're writing the character, you know, the name just kind of sometimes the muse is in the room or sometimes it just hits you. Oh this person is that. And if legal says they can be then they are.
Thank you for that. That's all part of the process. Thank you for enlightening our audience. You know, Daniel, as I am getting up there in age, I just had a birthday. Right. You're thirty fifth. You told me. You told me specifically I'm turning thirty five again. I wish I wish I was actually I felt really good. Thirty five. Thirty six. When I got into my forties, things become a little more uncomfortable specifically talking about sleeping.
And sometimes I feel like when I wake up in the morning I feel like sleeping was a contact sport. Yeah. There's no greater betrayal than going to sleep and just waking up. I mean, like, how did I hurt myself doing nothing. That is that is not a good feeling.
It's crazy. And that's why I love this company, because they're trying to make something that shouldn't be uncomfortable. But it can be. Yeah. And they're they're they're making it comfortable and it's with this purple grid. Yeah. You want to talk about the purple grid?
Oh, I would love to talk about the purple grid. I am also a nightly user of the purple grid. It's like a gel stretchy gel material. And yeah, it stays, it stays cool through the night, which is a big problem for me. I'm like a hot sleeper, but it kind of just molds around you. We have the pillows in our bed and it is phenomenal. Like I now have a hard time sleeping without it. I've tried to nap on the couch and I wind up bringing my purple pillow with the grid with me.
Yeah. So just to clarify here, we're talking about the company in purple. They make mattresses, they make pillows. They've invented the grid, which is a stretchy gel material that you're right. It's it's supportive for your neck, your back, your legs. Really don't know how it works, but it is fantastic. And I have no idea how it works. And the grid doesn't trap air. Air actually circulates and flows through it.
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Everyone just knows this scheme is for Zack. They're like, only you could twirl building around your finger and oust these nerds as Zack jumps to it for this. This next scene in Belding's office. Where he mentions casually that he has thought about hiring a hit man to murder the principal, but it's simply too expensive now more Paul, you have kids in school. Can you imagine what that phone call would be like if a child, any child at that school told the principal about their hit man connections and.
Probably wouldn't be going to that school anymore, nor would they know I'd be so pissed because, you know, we've we've done some of this virtual learning this past year and it's no joke.
I mean, I have so much more respect. I've always had respect for teachers and parents, but even more so for, you know, this pass here and everything, all the extra work that people have had to do with our children. Yeah. Which would mean if if I got that call, it would mean that they're going to be home for schooling. And I definitely couldn't I couldn't have that. Neither could my wife.
I know it's and I know it's a joke and I know it's just for the last.
But it is it is one of those things where when I heard it, I was just like, wow, you are this is a kid. I mean, I guess the conversation around schools and murder has certainly changed in the last 30 years. But but like, if you just could not say that. So Zack does. And it's fine. It's a big laugh. And I just want to be addressed in the synopsis. But I want to like, crystalize the the the story devices here, which are insane in this episode, that Kelly needs the job that she will lose if the nerds stay in charge.
So Zack has to convince Belding to let him run the store so it becomes a success. And the only thing Beldin gets out of it is it'll be like good for the school board and Belding will look good like it is. So we are only in the second scene of this episode. And it is so many twists and turns from a story perspective, it is just nuts. And yet he signs off on that. It's and it's like he's like, yeah, look good in the school.
Like what what why were you about to be fired, Mr. Bell? Maybe there was this. We've learned that scenes were cut for time, so maybe we missed something. But I don't think we did. I think they're just like moving through it. Lightning fast does what what nerd? We'll pick it apart thirty years later. And yeah, you mentioned Zach being like a bully. This is not I mean, I don't know if you've ever lost a job, Mark Ball, but this is not the way you want to lose it is your successor.
Hop on the loudspeaker and fire you in front of everybody. That's pretty callous, even for even for Zacchia. But that brings us to the students who where Zach is now. You know, he's in charge. It's it's this show. Where do they get all this merchandise, by the way? What, like the all of it. Like the. You mean like the bouncing balls in the book with magic tricks and it just all of it.
I mean like the the sweatshirts and the sweatpants and sweatshirts I could buy that they already had them or that because I think that when you guys are in gym class and stuff you're regularly wearing bayside tiger gear. Right. But where is that stuff like where did that work pull that out of why why wasn't that in the student store to begin with?
Good question. I mean, that's one of the that's one point Zach is correct about. That is a thing for sale.
But yeah, like the other stuff, it feels like a seven year old child's idea of what a store should be.
It's just like things that bounce up and down or glow in the dark or it's there's not a whole lot of things like literally the SAT prep guide is gone. The only thing in that store that could really help a kid prepare for their future is in a trashcan somewhere. Yeah, these backpacks with a clock on it. I mean, it's like, hello, kids shop in the mall. Yeah. Yeah, Sanrio. There you go. The nerds are back.
Yeah, I got it. Uh, the nerds are back and yeah. That they are so funny. Like I also love how and say by the bell it's always like a pack of nerds. It's never a lone nerd, you know, strength in numbers, slaters, security punk shirt that he's wearing I think is great. And I, I think that's a really easy Halloween costume. If anyone out there is trying to plan ahead, just a pair of slacks and a security punk shirt.
You're Slater from the, uh, the swimsuit episode. I'm not quite sure I understand the reference of security punk.
Like, once I came calling, it's like just a security. Sure wouldn't be enough of a joke, although it's funny enough for me. But it's like he's like saying it to you, like I'm security punk, you know. Well, where's the comma. There's a comma on their nose. Not I think there is it. I can let's let's go to the tape.
Oh there is. Yeah there's a there's a comma. There's a comma. Look at that. There is the writers are going to let that one get out of the room without a I, I don't, I don't know. I'm just I'm just looking at the way that he's holding his arms.
And like you think Franco is standing there looking at the budget saying we can't afford the comma. No, the comma is going on the shirt and the Franco point. Mark. Yeah, I mean, what is a point or exclamation mark, if you can say either one? Yeah, I know I do.
But I guarantee you you're smack dab in the middle of picking mark marker point and look at what you did there. I love it. Thank you. I'm just going to Seattle and just looking at that, that is a pretty. Yeah I think we have a shirt on it. Yeah it's. Yeah why not.
Let's, let's do some very just I mean now we're talking to lawyers, let's sell some T-shirts. We can just barely sell legally like a security punkt, one we might have to not use a common. That might be our thing. Peter Engle had the edict. We learned of no baby steps. That's part of why these these episodes move so fast. It's not a it's not a flaw. It's a feature. Zach really connects some dots very, very quickly when Lisa just says swim team practice and Slater mentions a bathing suit and screech mentions photo club.
It is like in, I think a matter of like thirty seconds that Zach puts together the entire plan which ends in the sentence. I have it in my own notes. Mark. Paul, we're going to take pictures of the girls in the pool. And let me tell you, there is a lone audience member that is way into that.
I'm not I, I didn't hear that. Is there one like. Oh yeah.
There's, there's, there's one there's there's there's an audible delight coming from an audience member. Yeah. I had to rewind it.
They say they were just excited to finally see the pool at bay side. It's been brought up a few times. Spoiler alert, Mark Paul, we will never see the pool of Bayside. It exists allegedly in the hearts and minds of those who believe. And yeah, I mean, I do remember in the halls of Bayside now, I love this cutaway joke that they'll never even know you were there. And then Screech is like, is it like scuba gear from the waist up?
Like is as if that would make him less conspicuous in the in the pool. And when you see these shots, I mean, they look posed, it looks like the girls knew he was there. I had my notes, I have that in my notes to like, wait, I'm confused. So you're telling me that Jesse, Lisa and Kelly did not know they were being photographed, but posed, like, very professionally for the cutouts. But it's just for you know, it's I get it.
I love the water out of the snorkel thing, too. That is just like the it's just great. It's superb. It's a very funny, hard, hard cut, a cutaway gag, as it were. And Screech calls a slimeball, by the way, like as much as this is on Zach Screech knows he knows the monster he's getting in bed with, like this plan to sell swimsuit calendar.
Screech is not like, whoa, dude, that's really wrong. He's like, you're a creep. Let's do business. He says it's an honor to work with a slimeball like you.
He knows. And that's the writers giving enough of a thing to the audience. It happens again later with Zach to camera. But it's like, hey, guys, we know this is bad, but this is really bad. I mean, you know, talking about the hit men with your principal is one thing. Filming underage girls without their permission and and selling it in calendar form, specifically in swimsuits. That is like that is a that is a real dark beast.
Seems like.
Which brings us to the students. To the students. Are you I mean, did I say that were just to smooth transition with this episode? There might be a lot more for the girls of Bayside Calendar Sale and Brother.
Business is good. Business is great. I love the the dude with the butt rock hair. Yes. Pants man. Those pants are are bitchin. That's a decision. Yeah that's that is, that's good stuff. I mean. There's a line out the door. This thing is working. Unsurprisingly, I mean, I think most high school boys would would be lining up for a similar calendar. I would imagine that that seems seems like Zach knew exactly who his target demo was.
So the girls come in mcpaul. And now first they're pleased that there are people in this store, which means, I guess Kelly doesn't have to move out of her house and into a cardboard box underneath a river.
But like. Like what? Like what was Zach's long game here? Like like he's like, don't tell it like the human side or both get all cagey when they come in. They're going to find out.
I mean, they're going to find out right now, especially when these lifesize cardboard cutouts get revealed. Yeah, I'm just looking at this cardboard cutout of Elizabeth and she's posing for the camera. It's like I'm just picturing Screech in scuba gear taking this photo. And what would be the context where she was screech could achieve that photograph? Yeah, it's also we talked about boom operators. It's professionally lit. Not only is this this photo, you can tell by the lighting on Jessie's face, it's a professionally lit photograph.
I'd cut out life sized cutouts excuse me, are also expensive and timely. They they they take time to produce. So the idea that Zac used like school resources or maybe he went to like a Kinko's and dropped a couple hundred dollars on these things. Insane.
And this was obviously before swim practice because their hair isn't wet and they're not wearing their sweat caps. Right. Swim practice. Yeah. I mean, for the swim meet, which in an episode we are tracking so much, it's like, oh yeah, these girls swimming is also swimming is also, by the way, very important.
All three of them, even though we've never heard them talk about it before, it will be the thing that defines their high school experience. They're swimming together. But yes, I mean, I get I get why they're pissed off. I understand it, and building is this December. That's I mean, maybe I can use phone once per episode, that's a fun joke. Yeah, I got a chuckle out of that. Yeah. It's also like Slater dealing with like he's going to have, like, the dreams of Belding's beautiful body is.
You know, that said, they're throwing a lot at you in this episode, no one can no one can fault anyone involved for not not trying a lot with twenty two minutes.
So, Daniel, do you know one of the hardest things when you have kids would be to do, I would imagine, keeping them entertained.
There you go. It's it's keeping it. And what do you usually do? Like what's your what's your go to for keeping them busy? Like, you probably have it in your hand right now. You just throw them in front of a screen. I mean, that's what you do you think that's what you do with kids of all ages and you feel like a really bad parent sometimes when you do it. I mean, sometimes you have no choice.
But when you do have a choice and that's why I love this, the sponsor, Quico Kiwako, has been great to us. They've sent me a few boxes for our kids. Let me just break it down for you. You just go to Cutco Dotcom. You can basically filter by age all the way from zero. I'm not kidding you to one hundred and four. That's what it says on the website. You can go by interests. Are you into science and tinkering, art and design, geography and culture, early learning.
We have this crate that we just did. It was the Atlas crate. And that's all about geography and culture. And we got a box and it's all about Italy. And in that box there, you're going to learn about the land and people of Italy, Renaissance art, automaton engineering. And look at this. I know our audience can't see it, but this is something my kids made.
Oh, my God. That you're holding up a little like it appears like a little pizzeria. It's divin cheese that is Kataria. And look at that. Oh, my God. It's like. It's like it's. Yeah, I mean, we have to describe for the audience, but it looks like it has a lot of moving parts and you built it yourself and it's colorful and fun. I would I would have that on my desk right now. No, no, I didn't I didn't build this myself.
My kids built this myself. My seven year old son built this while we were cooking dinner, and he just decided to do this, took him about thirty minutes. And that's not all that was in the box. I mean, he has like water colors that he can do Renaissance art for. He has like this envelope that talks all about Italy and the people. And this just an awesome, awesome thing to give to your kids as a gift.
Give it to someone you know. I may give this to you to keep you occupied. I mean, I could I could kill thirty minutes right now. And what it sounds like it's a gift to yourself, too, if it keeps your your kids busy and it helps them learn and that's great. Keeps them away from screens for a little bit. Kiwako is redefining learning with hands on projects that build confidence, creativity and critical thinking skills. There something for every kid or kid at heart.
Akihiko so go to Kiwako Dotcom and you get thirty percent off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code. Zack. That's okay. That's thirty percent off your first month at Kiwako Dotcom Promo Code Zackham. And that brings us to Act two, a short act, too, if you're looking at the time or this act, too, as only a couple of minutes here and we're in buildings office and yeah, the gals are demanding these these calendars be destroyed until knock, knock.
Uh, yeah. This guy out of his grasp. Yeah.
I would love to meet Adam Trask of Teen Fashion Magazine, who might just be the creepiest character in the history of television. He's played by an actor named Greg Kane. So, Adam, Adam heard about this calendar from his buddy at the print shop who wanted to just for the folks at home. Imagine how that phone call went.
Hey, Adam, some some kid came in here and is printing dozens, if not triple digits worth of calendars of teenage girls in bathing suits. You see this? You got this. You got to see this. So that guy is is definitely a registered I mean, he's a criminal. He's a sex criminal. Almost certainly. He works at a print shop. He should be investigated by the feds. And he called up his buddy Adam, who is wearing like a shirt.
I mean, his shirts only get more. They only get worse. But like, it is just what the hell is going on with Adam Trask? What the hell is going on with this man who just marches into Bayside? Heine's like, please show me the girls of this calendar. No, no.
He said it's a line that's even creepier than that. He walks in and goes, You all look familiar.
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, God, that is disgusting. Is I look knowing now what I know now about how awful and terrible human beings are.
This guy, you got to you got to everyone needs to run out of the building and just lock the doors and don't come back until his death. But then, you know, at the very end, we we talk about building and building things. Know Mr. Summers, cute graduate. But but Adam Trask says something again, that's like we're just bullying people left and right. But it is like, oh, Miss December dog without a tail.
You know, one thing. I mean, yeah. I mean, like also, sir. OK, so now you're saying you're a professional photographer. You cannot tell that that that I've been a middle aged man's head was just cut out and scotch taped onto a young woman's body like sir in nineteen ninety. It was that, it was that pre Photoshop.
I mean I know but it wasn't as as readily available for people like you and I. Right. I mean it wasn't really what I'm saying. Like Zack Morris wouldn't have that.
No, no. I mean like people are using computers for movies and stuff. But no, I mean he would probably just just use scissors, tape it, and then you would Xerox that picture. That was like Photoshop, you know, back in the day unless you were Steven Spielberg or something. But, yeah, it's it is. I mean. This is just where where this episode goes and continues to go is so it is such a dark, dark hole.
In retrospect, we in hindsight, like knowing what I know now in a way that makes me laugh. But just to hear you say it feels like I'm watching, it feels like I'm watching a horror movie, I swear to God, like when when the camera starts snapping and this next montage. I do not that I do not I don't feel like, oh, this is their big break. No, no. I wrote my notes. I just put cringeworthy with an exclamation point.
I was like, I cringe. This picture of Elizabeth is so funny there in the little business outfit. It gets worse, though. It gets worse, though, later on when it's just a photo shoot with with Kelly I. Oh yeah.
Oh my God. OK, so we're in the halls of Bayside for this like montage thing. It'll it'll spill over into the max. I mean, first of all, just top top question. Where the hell is everybody? The school is empty. The max is empty. They closed the student store, which, by the way, was like the only reason Kelly was doing this was to have a job at a store like that store is now closed for this photo shoot.
This is just absolute I mean, I don't I don't know what you what you say about all this.
And all I can do is let's let's I mean, I keep going back to, like, what if this was real life?
And I know it's not I know it's a TV show. I'm not as stupid as I sound sometimes. But if this was real and a photographer came to a school, it would be like weird enough to be like, hey, let me photograph these three girls who my buddy at the print shop told me about. Can you shut down the school for a day, please? Like, oh, no problem. Great. I'll be right back with my lights and camera, just like Adam Trask.
Man, he is not he's not to be trusted. If you say so. I say I say so. I say so emphatically. And that brings us to the max where, you know, the gals are riding high off their. Their big break, which is like a quarter inch off the floor of a dude at a mall, came up to us and was like, do you want to come take pictures somewhere? That's the level of danger.
These girls who put themselves in second boom appearances in this shot right above the the servers had good the wide shot with the three girls sitting at the table. You could see the boom right there. Do you want to use your at the time go to your time to talk of. It's like if you say I should, I would it would be it would be negative.
Ten, ten, four seconds. It doesn't make any it does make sense, but it is by no, you mean it is hard to like to see the display time. You have to touch the dot. That is like it's like Hulu makes it easier in general streaming for whatever reason to like, see how much time is left. I don't know. It's a weird system. No, this is this is Hulu.
No, no, no.
I'm saying like they make it easier to see the time that's left versus the time that's elapsed. Like I'm now. Yeah. OK, I'm agreeing with you. OK, but yeah, we are. Adam is back with, like I mean, for a guy who works in fashion, has his shirt choices, seemed to suggest otherwise, but he returns looking like a cowboy from the future. And he he is ready to offer Kelly the special anniversary issue of teen fashion, which involves a month with Adam in Paris, a month away, by the way, Michael.
I mean, we're going to get to the yacht. I have infinite questions about the yacht. But again, I don't know how much this job is paying this. This does not sound like a job that is going to. Does he mention money ever? I don't think so. No, no, no, this sounds like one of those things where it's like, oh, it'll be a great experience. This is a good opportunity and you get to travel.
This does not sound like, hey, Kelly, you know, you needed money from a job or else your entire family is going to have to wear, I don't know, socks for all their clothes. You go away for a month to Paris while you're 12 years old, 12 brothers starve like what the hell is going on in the set?
Like the structure of how all this stuff holds together is so, so far gone and so quick at it.
We are still in Act two.
I laughed out loud at Dustin's imitation of a cat because it brought it brought me a memory of like the cat from either the Smurfs, like I was Gaga, the Gaga Gargamel or the was that wasn't there a cat like Inspector Gadget or another claw had a cat.
The claw wasn't right. And I was like, yeah, he had like a hit. He would pet his cat. Yeah, but that that that sort of imitation that Dustin does is very cartoonish and just super funny. And I think out of the three girls, Elizabeth is almost about to break when he does it here. Check this out. Watch your face. Yeah, she's hot. She's she lets out the like.
I'm chuckling as my role. Process.
I'm I saw what you just did as my character, and now I'm allowed to laugh a little, you know, that thing.
So it's funny when you when you think of Zach, it all becomes about him. And Kelly's leaving for a month and immediately it was like, well, she's going to forget about me. He's not wrong. I have to sabotage Montoneros Paris.
Come on. Really? You think you think you think Zaca that much going for him that like a month around, like new experiences and a new a new place in the world, I'm assuming for Kelly. I don't think there are too many Karpovsky family vacations to Paris, France. They would have had booked a whole plane. I mean, I, I, I would be I'd be nervous, too, if I was OK. But also like, what are you going to I mean, the question and we know the answer to what are you going to do, you're going to set this set this opportunity on fire for Kelly from the inside of her soul out and then watching this.
You know, Zac obviously is thinking about himself and everyone else is on board with this. Lark's reaction is is is kind of a it doesn't sort of it doesn't seem like she's on board like is a I mean, she's playing it the truth that she is sad. That is like I'm sad that I didn't get this opportunity, but I'm happy for you as a friend. I mean, it's you I, I get it. Is that how you like it?
Because that's that's kind of true. Right. Like you can be. Both things can exist. You can, like, be bummed out, you didn't get the job, but your friend did and I get it. I don't get Zachs, I don't get tax reaction and sex thing is like I need to make sure this doesn't happen. Is just. Well, I see you're saying Laerke reacts after the month things she kind of I we were folks were watching it back and we saw last initial reaction.
Yes, she's kind of like, huh? Yes, you're right. She is a little like unsure of this. Maybe she's more savvy than Kelly. I mean, guys. Yeah, just watch it.
Just watch her. I rewound it and watch when Kelly says a month. Isn't that fantastic? Right, I mean, and then she'll say, OK, I'm going to say thank you for pointing that out, Mark Paul LARC knows what's going on. This dude's a creep. She was putting up with it, but now she's like, OK, red alert. This guy is trying to literally human traffic. My best friend, one of two I like.
This is the plot of Taken. Kelly is about to get taken by Adam Trask of all people. Unless I got something to say. Zack, Zack has something to say.
Look into the camera. This is one of the reasons I couldn't watch the show growing up because I would notice things like, oh, man, I'm wearing too much makeup and the reason why I'm wearing too much makeup is because I do feel like a little zit on my face and cover that up, you know. Yeah, teenager. But to cover that up, you have to like, blend everything else in. So, you know, I kind of have to like, spackle the makeup on to your face.
I wish I had someone at my school a trowel. I could use some asphalt to kind of smooth it out.
Yeah. Yeah. And then but I'm not I'm not mad at the hair or the hair, which looks pretty lacquered this episode, but it's not going anywhere. Pretty iconic hair going on there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not too, too mad. I like your sweater too earlier when when you're working the student store it's like a very like like if you look back at it at a very cozy look a lot like, a lot of like it really seemed like it was built for like comfort in a lot of ways.
And I knowing again, hindsight is 20/20. I respect comfortable clothes above all now.
Mark Paul, no matter what twenty twenty one brings, you can spend it creating something meaningful with skill shares, online classes, because time is what we make of it.
Yeah, with Skillshare, you can find inspiration in the moment and learn how to express your creativity. Yeah. Actually took a Skillshare class specifically about productivity with creativity, because being creative and not being productive is a well, it's something I've struggled with my entire adult life skills. Sure can really help you with that specifically. Or let's just say you want to get better at taking pictures for Instagram or how to make a short movie on your phone. There's tons of classes online.
Oh, my God. That is so important to take good pictures, good selfies for Instagram.
I didn't say selfies, but I'm sure there's a social class for selfie specifically. It is important, you know, you like a good picture. Don't act like you don't. You're right. Skillshare is an online learning community that offers membership with meaning, with so much to explore, real projects to create and support of fellow creatives. Skillshare empowers you to accomplish real growth. Skillshare is also incredibly affordable, especially when compared to pricey in-person classes and workshops. An annual subscription is less than ten dollars a month.
Oh my God, that's a bargain. You charge me eleven dollars just to tell me if my selfies are good, that I should just go to Skillshare instead.
So explore your creativity at Skillshare Dotcom slash Zach Zach and get a free trial of premium membership that Skillshare Dotcom Zach. And that brings us into three fours acts like, you know, truly evil master plan here. So Kelly is going through her itinerary on the steps. We mentioned it briefly, but this schedule that is supposed to be like a work trip involves a week on a yacht in France. What was getting done on that job? You couldn't do in like four to six hours on a yacht?
Listen, you're talking like a chaperone here. I mean, you're you know, someone who's trying to protect their client.
I'm talking like a person who's like, OK, wait a minute, you got to take this 15, 16 year old girl to France for a month and put her on a yacht for a week. Sir, who else is on that yacht? It's I have just a lot of questions and a lot of concern. And it's funny because Zach's not even like coming from this place emotionally or mentally of like, oh, my God, Kelly's in real danger from this total slimeball we let come into our lives instead.
He's just like the yacht will make her forget whatever goes on. A yacht will will replace me trying to think because Tiffany and I went to Paris together to promote the show, to take photos and do exactly what the what she's about to do. It wasn't for a month that I think we're there maybe for a week.
But I'm trying to remember if we did this before or after, if this was because the show saved by the bell. So why part of the goal, as they say, or. That's pretty good. That's how they say it. And thanks, but it was pretty popular and in France and we traveled there a few times, I think at least I did. But we did. We had a great time. And in Paris, I think she talked about that when she was on our show, on our podcast briefly, she she remembered, you know, those those those times rather than these times on the set.
And I didn't see it in your notes. But did you notice that my name is said in this in this scene?
I said how? Like they said, well, Lark says, you know, the cute guys in French jeans named McPaul. Oh, I did not notice that. But I mean, there's now there is a detail I did not know is that, um. Well, there you go. You made it into the show. Someone someone on the writing staff must have liked you. I'm wondering if they actually wrote it in the subtitles. I'm I just turned on the subtitles on our.
Yeah, they do. As they mark Paul. They did like the French. There's no hyphen. Yeah. Cukor's in French jeans.
They mark, they spelled it, they spelled it the French way which is Marsi. Yeah. And I spell my MRK and there's a hyphen. Right. And that is my first name. People always wonder like is it Mark is a listen. I went through the shit as a kid. It was painful. Yeah. You know, my mom because I was acting and you'd go in for an audition and some would go Mark Goslar. And my mom would go, no, tell him it's Mark Paul Thomas, Mark Paul.
Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm not going to tell this grown man I'm nine, am I? Gotta tell his grown man my name is Mark Paul. If he wants to call me Mark, so be it. You're the one that gave me this fucked up name. You tell him my name is Mark Paul. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, any time you can take your parents down a peg in front of someone, that's that's good.
Uh oh yeah. By the way, I never had that conversation. But you played it. Yeah. No, I played it in my head. That's why I go by MPLX now. Like if you see me it's just it's not anything. I'm fine with me.
OK, good to know for for fans all over the world when I'm not French and it's not a French, it's not a French name and and I do have a middle name as well. But yeah. I mean it's uh it's interesting. When I, when I saw it, I was like that got right by me. Yeah. I also watch with subtitles on. So I'm surprised I didn't didn't read it. I do, I do watch. I like we talked about this, I, I watch the subtitles on my not so good.
Feels like I'm reading a book. Um so this is what I talked about before where Zach like directly down the camera is like I know what I'm about to do is really wrong, but like desperate times it is a little story device just to like, you know, remind the viewer like, hey, this is wrong, but you're still on my side. I don't know that it works for me.
It's too wrong. It's too what he's doing is too wrong to be excused by, like, boy, I got to make sure I also like what you really preventing his his girlfriend from, like realizing there might be something better out.
Like, it's just like, listen, he said sometimes you're not thinking about yourself. He's in love is easy. This is what this is is. I think he is. Yes. I mean, look, I will not sit on the stupid shit you do stupid shit for sure. As a kid. This is. Like, it's hard to call it stupid when it's so well thought out, a lot of times stupid stuff is impulsive and maybe he was building the train as it was moving down the tracks here.
But, yeah, I mean, it's like this is this is nuts. And also, by the way, the reminder in this scene that like. Oh, yeah, guys, there's still a swim meet. There's still there's we're still tracking the swim meet and Yazaki like starts turning the screws here. We got a Harriott is it Himmelman Habermann. Hip Hypponen you know because it's like it's close to be it. I took it as Harriott Funny name Hipple Men because she's two hundred pounds Hepple.
I was like oh like oh I get it, I get it. Yeah that's. Yeah she's two hundred pounds. She can't swim anchor. She is an anchor. And you know what that brings us to a segment Marcoule called Everybody Makes Mistakes. First we start with the boom operator. The sense good luck folks. Everybody makes mistakes. And even Jesse, who's like an unimpeachable character by all metrics, she cracked a fat joke and like, does not you're not supposed to do it's not good.
It's not good to do. But even like that's you know, everybody makes mistakes, I guess would be listen, there was close to one hundred other people in this audience that all found that very funny.
And I got a good laugh. I am happy to report that humor changes as time goes on. And, you know, people people learn how to be better people if you if you're doing this whole life thing correctly. And also some some just I mean, this minute baking, but like literally last week, Slater was like a genius at math and now he's maybe going to fail science without his help. I mean, that that doesn't line up for me, but.
Sure, why not? Maybe that's just part of Zach's twisted game of. Saying Slater got really bad at science overnight, why? I'm just thinking like Zach, but why is Kelly his science partner? I have an issue with that.
Yeah, I mean, I don't like all that stuff is so like they just throw there is so much information here of like I mean, like to really be invested in the story. You need to first of all, you got to care about the swim meet and then you need to care about Slater science. Like it's like there is just a ton of stuff with no nothing.
Screeches birthday she's going to miss. Yeah.
Which you guys already did a screeches birth like you already did an episode which hasn't aired yet because they chopped up the premiere order. It's coming way later. It's from season one of you guys recording. But you did an episode where you all forgot screeches birthday like you already had a screeches birthday story involving Kelly. I just is all like this is they were I mean, I'm sure lunch was getting cold. You know, I get it.
I got to write the episode at the end of this, the scene I wrote in my notes like, oh, what a shithead, what a shithead this really is, is he's playing.
I mean, it's like it is when you talk about evil stuff, it's like maybe I'm using evil or I don't know, maybe I'm not using correctly.
But it is like this is it's sinister how you could Kelly is Kelly's whole.
Besides being borderline destitute as a family, Kelly's defining character trait is she's kind. She is just a kind soul. It is like her thing. So Zak is like really putting his foot on her neck with this one over, like her kindness, because a lot of people would be like, so what, Slater fell out of science? I don't get nuts to you in the swim team. I'm going to Paris, not Kelly. We're in the iTunes store here.
Belding drops off a month's worth of school work for Kelly and a seemingly empty manila envelope. That's going to be all the schooling she needs. She's not going to do any of that work. What work? There's nothing in that envelope, Paul. That thing is that thing is is thinner than the swim meet news.
That is just there's not a lot going on there. It's more than my public school gave me because my public school did not do that for me when I when I told them I was going to be on a show for nine months. This is why I had to move from my public school to another school.
That was for students who weren't too good at school for bad boys. You went to the. Yeah, we talked about this. You're like, yeah, it's like we're like school present or something. I went I went to the trailer where I did get an envelope that size. That was my work for the week. And it was all just multiple questions and easily, easily hacked. That sounds like a good show. The trailer about a bunch of a bunch of, you know, on the fringe school kids.
I watched the trailer. That sounds like a cool sitcom. Let's write that.
But yeah, Célia this, by the way, when she gets this envelope, we are now also getting the information that, hey, you know, she's disappearing for a month. It's during the school year. And so not only is this like she is going to be fired from her job, that won't exist anymore because no one's going around the store. She's also missing a full month of high school, which is a lot of high school. But that's fine.
I mean, Adam seems like a trustworthy man who owns many ugly shirts. And, yeah, this is like the gaslighting thing. I mean, I don't know what the definition difference of misinformation and gaslighting is, but he is like actively playing both sides here with Kelly and the friends of like. I'll tell him to come to the shoot like, oh, she doesn't want you at the shoot. It's a pretty nefarious I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot a lot of work here.
Yeah. It's so funny because the character of Zach is so not like me at all. Like, I never. I could never come up with the things that he did.
I know it is not the way my brain works about relationships, about, you know, getting through tasks.
I mean, it just it's it's very I find it interesting. I mean, you find it sinister, but it's like a beautiful mind or something.
He it's like you can see the matrix swirling around him in a way. We're like, yeah, I mean, I, I just I my from a writer perspective, I'm like floored in a funny way about how much they throw at us like this episode to me. I think I had it in my notes. It almost feels like every five minutes you're watching a different episode of a different TV show, like here's the episode about like it just keeps changing so fast what the characters are driving for and how it's moving.
The Zaca his through line is he just loves Kelly so much she can't look over and. You know, I've said it before, I'm not I'm not going to disparage the relationship of Zack and Kelly on this podcast or anywhere, America's first couple. And that brings us to the photo shoot, though, this photo shoot, Kelly, one of one of her signature outfits here with the the denim jacket with the pink polka dot fringe. What an outfit.
But this Adam Trask with what he says to this. To Kelly.
Hey, Julie. Yeah, OK. You're happy. OK, excited. Terrific. Now be your own woman, your strong independent.
That's it. She's moving so fast, wild, like you're impulsive, Daryn. You're unpredictable. And then Zach comes in. Yeah. Oh, hi, Zach. I should have stopped it during.
What does that mean? Is that I'm glad. I'm glad you're saying I'm glad you asked.
I had to think that was a scratcher for me to a head scratcher, to be specific by by adding that she's unpredictable. And then Zach showed up. Zach fulfilled the unpredictable prophecy. She is unpredictable. Her boyfriend is going to show up on my set. I should have just stopped it daring. If she was only daring, she would also be unpredictable. And then I'm dealing with her unpredictable boyfriend. That's the joke, I think.
I don't know. There's something I really like.
You talk about sinister. No, no, no. Make no mistake. There's Zach is this isn't Zach is friend Rogers compared to Adam Trask. Like, this guy is like another beast altogether. And it stresses me out every second he's on camera.
And even the way he like hands is he's like, you can visit while I reload. He just hands his assistant the camera to swap out the film. And, you know, he goes in the back room and does some like God even knows what kind of disgusting things are happening in the back of his studio. It's it's not developing film, folks. Yeah. Just like this is awful.
How long does it take to reload a car? Not long.
I mean, I look, everything's digital now, but I remember having an actual camera with a roll of film too. You would just zip it, zip on back.
We're talking we're talking ten seconds here. Not long enough to have a conversation, but, you know, Adam is going to let his old shoot maybe be spoiled by this conversation and Zaca. I have it in my notes, Zach obliterates Kelly, which is what it feels like, he just he just shatters this poor girl into a thousand pieces. It's so easy, though, really. I mean, it is because she cares so much.
It's like you could not you could not hit Lisa this hard. You could not hit Jessie this hard. But Kelly is like. Just a big, big old teddy bear.
It's he it is just it's like, you know, of all of all of his crazy schemes and antics, like this one from top to bottom, the fact that it starts with underage girls posing in swimsuits without their consent and ends in like I will rip out your soul is like this is this is too much this is just too much even for me.
Well, late. There's another boom about we go back now. It's fun again. The minus three minute forty one second mark. There's a nice little boom right there at the very slowly all the time. Hello Bill. Good to see you.
Here to lighten the mood, probably the sound guy was like, holy Christ, what's going on.
OK, look like Jim, you keep slipping. He's like, yeah I know. But this I didn't sign up for this. I usually make classy movies about the Vietnam War and he was maybe trying to hit the actor who played out of something. Get out. Get out of here, buddy. Yeah. I mean, and of course, Zak's. Zach's horrific, like new whispers in Kelly's ear. She's she's a broken woman now. I mean, is that has destroyed her.
And she won't go to Paris and I talk about no baby steps. I love how fast Adam Trask is on Zach Morra's and this switch that Adam Trask, the biggest creep, is now the voice of reason is the craziest thing in an already like bunkers off the Wall episode. This man, his shirt is now like, Hey, man, I'm wiser than you and you need to listen to me about this thing. I know what you're doing. Hey, Zach, quit being a cock blocker.
Come on, man. You know, I'm trying to bang your girlfriend. Embarrass. What's what's the matter with you, did God? Crazy, crazy, he's and you and you as a kid, I like watch that and I saw this photographer like dressing Zach down. I was like, Yeah, that guy is right, Zach. Like, I did not realize how wrong they both are.
Like, that's like you can there can be a tidy little room with two people and they can both be very wrong.
You know, there's not always a right person. You love this show. I'm glad I'm glad this this journey has been, you know, as great for you as it has been for me. And we're in Kelly's room here for a signature Zach Morris apology. He's sorry. He can't live with it. The the scumbag photographer got to him.
And I guess I understand his reasoning a month in high school years. It's like it did that. Yeah, I understand that part. I will give Zach that a month in high school feels like a really long time. Um, but like not enough to. Ah well we took a month off that didn't feel very. I know. Well a month as an adult goes real fast. Time is relative. Maybe that's a conversation for another day. Be a month when you're the younger you are.
I think the, the longer time feels that's the thing.
There's more new stuff, your brain is making more new connections, but the crowd goes wild for a kiss from Kelly Izak and Kelly Kiss. Everyone loves it. Even George Michael liked it. Yeah, George Michael's like creeping out from behind the corner, like, oh, la, la. I was like, that's the first thing I saw after the kiss. I was like, Yeah, Michael, he's looking right down the barrel of the camera.
But, you know, we learned that Kelly would have gone anyways. Maybe.
I mean, she kind of plays it is I don't know. But she she would of I mean, and yet I have it in my notes here like. So Zach tells her the news, Kelly is surprisingly pretty cool with it, that she was just fully manipulated and the gang was like hiding behind her door with a cake. And I'm just wondering what that would have been like if everyone had to stand there with a cake and hear Kelly, like, I never want to talk to you again.
And like, I can't believe you do this, like, get out of my fucking life, which feels to me to be true.
That is how I think a person would react. But no, she's fine with it. She's got like a pesky, unwavering kindness. All right. And for the final boom, my God, there's a boom in Kelly's room. Nowhere safe.
No for no for.
Yeah, this this this one actually is a special one because it doesn't come from the top, but it comes from a reflection. See, these guys have to worry about all this stuff. I mean the boom operator has to worry about where the lights are because the lights will cast shadows obviously. And so they have to like, you know, navigate the the world up above us. They also have to look for reflections off of windows, off of mirrors.
There's a like a I don't know what it's called, like a pop up mirror, like this little thing on Kelly's dresser. Sure. And in the reflection of that, you can see the boom move in through that.
And if anybody wants to know, it's negative 50 to 60, negative 52 seconds right under the wire to get a boom in right under the wires.
I'm going to play it for you, Deshotel. Enjoy.
Wow. That is a I mean, that is a blink and you'll miss it. Boom. Parents know it kind of comes back again like it was. Yeah, it was. It's that's it. It's enough weight also. I just I didn't know I didn't have this in my notes. Jesse runs in and throws confetti in the air. No thank you. Yeah. My I, I when I first of all my brain went immediately like who's going to clean the shuttle.
Who's going to clean this shit. When people send you cards and that just is in a card, say it, yeah, I want to fucking travel. I had a friend who he like. It's me. He gave me a thing for the holidays. And it was it was like it was like a card. He basically acknowledged, like, hey, the people who packed this, I had no idea there was glitter. Like he was apologizing as he's handing me a thing because he's like I just I found out after the fact that the gift company puts glitter on the top and it's like, what is that as a business?
It is it is an instant problem. Like I that is that is a truly awful thing to do to someone like you. Honestly, you should send it to your enemies. If you really have someone you don't like, send them a box of glitter, that spring-loaded, you'll never hear from them again. That's my tip. We're angling for a glitter sponsor. No, I'm with him. And that that's it.
That's model students, one of the most derange Zack Morris games by a frickin mile. And we do have homework, McPaul, because we're back. It's a new season. We will be back with another episode next week called One Nine Hundred Crushed. No, no, no, no. Nine hundred numbers were hot at the time. No, we can get more into that next week. I spent a lot of money on they were called nine, seven, six numbers back.
I can't wait to hear where where the bill came from that arrived at the Goslar household. I don't know how that happened. Like, yeah, we'll we'll kind of get into that. I'll try to tap it in my brain and take some more alphabet slam some alpha brain will be put back into it, pull some stuff out. But yeah I, I, I'm sure that's not what the episode is about. But I did call those nine, seven, six numbers when I was about twelve for eleven, which seems really young.
Yeah.
Well what kind of get into what we just had. We just did so much this I was a victim. OK, that's a good, good note to end on. Thank you Martha. Well thank you, the listener. And welcome back to Season two. We'll see you next week. Zach to the Future is a production of Caden's Thirteen. It's executive produced by Mark Paul Goslar, myself and Chris Corcoran, production and direction led by Terrence Malinga own editing and mastering by Andy.
Its Engineering and production coordination by Sean Cherry. Artwork by Kurt Courtney with illustrations by Jeff MacCarthy. Marketing is led by Josephine Francis with PR by Hilary Shupe. Thanks to the whole team against their team and to you for listening.