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[00:00:00]

You know what I tried the other day for the first time? You try google humming a song that was stuck in my head. But I didn't know any lyrics or what it was called or who it was by.

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Oh, yeah, they're getting good with that, too.

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I hummed it for, like, what, 4 seconds? And they picked it up immediately, remember?

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Can we guess what?

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Wait, I don't know what it was. Do you know what it was?

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Yes, it was the.

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Weren't you trying to figure it out?

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I was trying to figure it out.

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And it was almost like a rhythm of a song.

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She goes, let me try that hum feature thing. And we didn't even know the exact rhythm. I just had it in my head, but it was the song. Give me a second. Sorry. Why are you thinking this? Okay. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that intro sounded like that. She did that into the recorder, and it came up, wow.

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It's d a n c e by justice.

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I didn't know what the words were.

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I just knew we were like, is it from a commercial? Is it from, like, a.

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Variance?

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But this was Google search or, like, an AI thing.

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So on the Google app, when you type it, you can type in reverse image search. You could type in hum a crazy.

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We tried a whole bunch of different ones just, like, humming.

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So it basically looks like a siri thing that pops up, and then you start humming, and it listens. It's like a shazam. But you can just hum a little part of it, and they'll give you options.

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It's crazy.

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You don't need an instrument or a word.

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That's wild.

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It's like when you have this rhythm stuck in your head, but you have no idea where it's from. It'll tell you exactly. It took no time.

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That's just wild knowing. Like, instead of the words going out into the database, finding the match of the words, it's a harmony. And then there's computer system where they're just, like, syncing up that against everything.

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I don't know if you remember, Mariah, but we were talking about this, like, three years ago, how they need to make an app where you can hum into it and it catches it. And we're like, that takes a lot of good technology to make that work.

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We actually had that conversation because I was like, did we create?

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We 100% talked about this, hoping they'd make something where you could just hum into it. Because someone like me, I don't know any worse to any songs. I don't listen for lyrics, I listen for the beats. All my favorite songs. I could just hum to it right.

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Now, but I just wish I could about this before.

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I don't know lyrics. I don't know artists. I don't know the title of the song. But I'm like, this is my favorite song. I know the beat makes me feel good.

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Remember that song in one of our vlogs a long time ago where it.

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Was like.

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I bet you if you tried that one, it would pick it up on that.

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Let's try really quick. Are we going to get demonetized for that?

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No.

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Okay.

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No, that's crazy. I would show up with a form at YouTube, be like, you have been served if they caught that.

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Okay, ready?

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Yeah.

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So hit identify a song and do that.

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Which one?

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Identify song.

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All right. Oh, that caught that. I didn't even know. Oh, my God.

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Isn't that amazing?

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That wasn't that good. What? I just. I was 86% good.

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No way.

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Rate you 86% match karaoke. But humming would be a nice little.

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Oh, I'd be so good at that.

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Yeah. I would kill it.

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Put me in a karaoke room with a humming.

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Wow.

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And I just wish, too, like, every karaoke bar gave you glasses where the lyrics came up on your glasses without having to look at a screen, because looking at a screen can really take you. It takes you out of the performance. But if you could just sit there and just look at everybody and the words are right in front of you on glasses, not only do you have apple, but it's, like, clear. So it's not like you're wearing sunglasses, but you're wearing clear glasses, so you still look cool, but you're taking over the room by looking at everybody but still looking at the lyrics that are popping up.

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Right. It's the best, though, when you know a karaoke song is so good, you don't even need to look at the screen.

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Yeah.

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Only way to do it.

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That's a flex.

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Can we do the intro? Because I have a really good transition.

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Absolutely. Oh, Mariah likes when we do the intro. Okay.

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I don't want to forget. What do we want?

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30 minutes. All right, baby, it's coffee towel, baby.

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Let's go.

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Dana ba.

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What if it picked up our intro song?

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38% match unfiltered intro.

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Everyone sing your name.

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Hello. I'm Zane. Oh, I thought you wanted to do the.

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Sing your name.

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Zane.

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Auto tune.

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I'm Heath.

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I have to close my eyes. Zane's gonna love this one.

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Sounds like the end of the national anthem.

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Did you see that little girl who sang the national anthem at the Indiana game?

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Matt, was that recent or was that.

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Like, an old clip? It happened recently. It was like a week or two ago.

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That girl sucked. I'm sorry.

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But she kind of ate, though. It was so bad. It was good.

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Ate a frog.

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She was full, like Miss Americana glam. And she's just belting it out like a normal five year old would in their.

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They need to warn everybody or they need to present. They got to present in a way where this girl does not know how to sing. Okay.

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And go, how'd they pick her?

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Because people are.

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I don't know.

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Maybe Fergie had a kid.

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No, I did a CEO's granddaughter.

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So, yeah, that's what I was suspecting at first. I'm like, this is some big owner of the team's daughter, but her dad.

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I take that back then, someone found.

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That her dad was almost like a sports journalist or he knew people, obviously worked at the stadium. He's interviewed players in locker rooms before, so he had connections to get her the gig.

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Little nepotism a little bit.

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But it's so iconic that other places must want to book her because they know it will go viral again. I feel like we're in that space where. But then again, it's national anthem. Don't disrespect it.

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Exactly.

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But also, I get giving a child the spotlight, but there are five year olds that are so incredibly talented. If there was a bottom line and they all sounded like that, it's like, that's cute. But there's children that can. Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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There are kids in the Philippines who can fucking.

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Sure.

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But the thing is, there's crazy talented.

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Children, and there's crazy talented. I'm on India TikTok right now. Hey, my Indians. I'm on indian TikTok. I swear, their skits that they do 10,000 times better than any Instagram skit I've seen from any American.

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Yeah, they're like, out of a Michael Bay movie.

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Yeah. And they got nothing but just dirt, ground and an iPhone and just so good.

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Just getting so good. Yeah.

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Other communities, they really celebrate getting up and singing. The thing is, America, we have karaoke bars, but it's like you need to embarrass yourself in front of the whole.

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Entire bar while everybody's drunk.

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Yeah.

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Socially, we don't like, hey, your turn. You're not in a safe environment to get up and sing. I guess it's a very.

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While we're bringing back karaoke I really want to do this little transition. It's just funny that today we decided we wanted to do the subject of what are we convinced people are pretending to enjoy? On my list was karaoke.

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Oh, interesting.

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And it's funny because, yes, obviously it's so much fun to go there. But really think about it. Everybody's just waiting for their one song that they think or know that they're going to kill, and they are just waiting for their turn. They're not enjoying. Nobody enjoys watching someone else sing. Three minutes of a.

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Okay, okay.

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Look, karaoke for yourself. Enjoyable.

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Yes.

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Watching other people do karaoke, everyone's just.

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Waiting for their okay.

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Okay.

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In Japan, when we were in that little room, just us all karaoke, that was fun because we all know each other and we all just are comfortable with.

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It. Even if you're a great singer, it's fun to have fun with it. And then there's that one person who takes it so seriously and they're just.

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Like, there's, like, people that are too good doing karaoke.

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It's like, no, I like that. I love watching really good people karaoke. That's what makes it.

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But if you show up to a bar and you realize majority of the people who are on the list are good regulars, you're like, maybe I don't want to do it at this good of a joint.

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You got to feel it out, right?

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Yeah.

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You don't want to go after, like, a really good singer.

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Definitely read the room. And if you are a really good singer, perform and play with the audience instead of just showing off and singing. You know what I mean?

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Yeah. It's all about that. You got to humble it down and.

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Then people are side eyeing each other. When somebody's up there, you want to.

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Be good, but not have confidence to where people don't get annoyed.

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I think they can actually sing. They think they can sing.

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They're good. Are you guys hearing, I don't want to be that person that, like. Because when somebody goes up and does karaoke and they're drunk and they're singing and they sound bad, we're all on the same page, right? Like, you're not supposed to be the best singer in the world when you're up there, but there's just moments and I catch myself doing it, and I always feel so bad when I do it. But we're all drunk. We get a little judgy when we're drunk. So I'm sitting there when I just hear, just, like, someone really bad singing. And I know I'm not the best singer. I suck, too. But I'll just look and I'll just like.

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Because there's a way.

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Yes. I don't sit there and, like, this guy sucks. I just make this face to myself, just like.

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It's also because when they immediately start singing and they set the tone, you know that you have to sit there for three minutes.

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Yeah.

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And know the damn song. Don't go judgy. It's not about even sounding bad. It's like, you chose this song. Think it. You're with your budy.

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Go.

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You know this song? Yeah, I know that song.

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Me with the second verse of sweet Caroline.

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Yes.

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Nothing.

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That is like, you're putting your friend in a tough spot. Like, if your friend really wants to do a duet song, and you're like, yeah, I'll do it. Make sure to tell him or tell her that you don't know the song.

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Right. And then there's that person who still thinks it's funny to do tequila.

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Yeah, right?

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We've seen it.

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I love my favorite karaoke singers are people that play with the audience.

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You see the lineup on the TV, and it's like, in three songs, someone's doing tequila, and you're like.

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You're writing it down in the slip.

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They're like, this will get them.

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The DJ's like, all right, calling Matt.

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All right.

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One, two, three. All right, next song. Just get through it really quick.

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I used to do the pay your way to the front, too.

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Oh, yeah.

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That's Patricia's weakness, though. She'll spend all of her money. How much money did you just pay, baby?

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You mean there's 40 people in front of me?

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I think next round is on Patricia. Nope, it's going to the karaoke bar. Patricia is also the first one to, you know, those bars that have those touch tunes where it's not a karaoke, but you just get to play what's next? Patricia always, what I've noticed is she goes straight to that box. Everybody just got whatever Patricia wants. It's her vibe, especially because I feel like Patricia really, it eats at her when there's a song playing that she just does not vibe. It doesn't matter where she is. Right. I remember when we did our little Zila dinner after the documentary, I walked in and there was just, like, a song playing. It was like a joke. But Patricia walks in, she's just, uh uh, no. And she's like, I need to change this song, which is just a joke. Let her ride. It was like, workout.

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Like, this is a dinner party. We need dinner party music.

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I respect that. It was really funny.

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Oh, but we all have a list of.

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Yeah. Things we were convinced that people are pretending to like.

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Got it.

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We saw another podcast do this, and their example was sparkling water. And we were laughing right away because Heath will. Sparkling water.

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I love it. And the thing is, I get it because I didn't at first, and I had the same opinion, and I was like, I genuinely hated it. I thought it was the dumbest thing. And then once I started using it as, like, a soda replacement, it became all I look for that bubble that hit, that burn. I'm like, I need that.

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No diet soda will give me that hit, and I will continue to do that. You know what I think is bullshit? When people get different flavor? Sparkling water. No. Like, it tastes different. It does. No, it doesn't. Wait, I've tried every single La croix flavor.

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What's the La Croix? The La Croix statement that you always said?

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People say, it's like, if you were to take a sip of sparkling water and have somebody whisper in your ear, lemon jelly.

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If you blindfolded me and told me lies about which flavor was which, I'd be like, totally. I taste it.

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Their flavor. If I was blindfolded, like you're saying, and had to differentiate what was what, probably couldn't do it. But lemon cello Lacroix is probably the strongest, sweetest one.

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It's the best one.

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Pample mousse.

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Pample mousse is good.

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Yeah, I bet you. I'll give you a pample mousse. You're lemon cello. You wouldn't even know the difference because.

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It'S so, like, binge drinking a bunch of seltzers and, like, beers and stuff. And then you go to just a normal seltzer. I'm talking about hard seltzer. And then you go to those. Your brain. No, I think. You think that you're still drinking seltzers. It's a good. Like, I've drank too much. I'm going to steady myself up and hide or eight. But I like a little bit of seltzer. I don't mind, too. On, like, a day.

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It's kind of refreshing.

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Yeah. Like, when I had a job, everyone would drink water throughout the day. But then I knew a guy who would go get seltzer water. I'm like, why are you drinking seltzer water? He goes, because it's a little something different to keep you going throughout the day. I was like, actually, good point.

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I think seltzer water tastes good. When you put those flavor in here, like meo, like a squirt of, then. Then it fully changes.

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You're just turning it into a soda.

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Yeah, just get, like, the vitamin mio. It tastes good and it's healthy for you. Have you seen all the ingredients in the meal?

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Zane keeps his meal on top of the water tank.

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I saw it. I cannot drink water. I need something.

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That's my mom.

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I think I convince myself that I like sparkling water if I'm really think, because I will go out of my way to order it or get it. And I think I'm convinced because growing up, we weren't allowed to have soda. Like, nothing bubbly, sparkly, nothing. But my grandma's house, she had Seltzer. It was called Seltzer in the bottle, in the. And there's a difference.

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There's club soda.

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Yes.

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Seltzer water, tonic water and tonic.

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Tonic. Tonic was the other thing.

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Tonic is not good.

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My dad kept tonic in the garage, and I used to convince myself that I loved tonic so much because it was something other than water. We had water and orange juice in the house.

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Spicy, but not carbonated. Right.

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It makes your mouth, like, dry. But I used to think just because it was something other than what I was allowed to have. Like, when I went to my grandma's, I had this cherry seltzer. I was convinced that I love it so much.

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I cannot justify buying water if I walk into a 711 or a gas station. I would rather bang my head on the car door repeatedly than spend money on water.

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Yes. I have to be dehydrated as fuck to buy that water.

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If I go in, I'm like, at least it's got bubbles. I can justify spending $3 if I'm like, it's got bubbles and a little flavor. So that's why I would gravitate towards a sparkling water over something.

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And it's the same kind of price, right?

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So it's like, I could have water or I could have fancy water with bubbles and a little bit of flavor, because that's where I started.

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You're onto something.

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So it's like, I didn't want to go for a soda. So I'm like, all right, if I'm going to spend the money, I'm going.

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To start doing that because I have a bit of a water issue.

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Just, I can't do it.

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You're like, fucking five.

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$4.

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You're like, I can get this shit at home, just no problem.

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I don't agree with this. Bullshit conversation. But I do support whatever you guys have to say with sparkling water.

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But people who are making sparkling water at your own home, like, you're buying the soda bubble thing. What is this doing?

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I do love San Pellegrino.

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Yes.

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Has a little bit more flavor in it, right? That one's good. I don't mind that one.

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Topico is the best sparkling, by the way.

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Yes, of course.

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Best mineral sparkling one.

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They do not have good seltzers, though.

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Oh, they're like alcohol hard seltzers. They were good for a minute, and.

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Then it's like the aftertaste of the topos.

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I just think it was, like the same thing after you have so, like, white claws had such a chokehold on everybody, and then you're like, I've had this flavor.

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I think white claws had such a chokehold because that was the only thing you can drink that was, like, pretty much the first seltzer.

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There's this flavor fatigue and I think prime, prime hydration drink, giving them a shout out. They've been so good about. There's always these new ones. You're like, well, I got to try that one because you never get sick of the other ones because there's always a new one.

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On the alcohol topic, though, one of mine that I have, and I feel like other people feel this way too, but iPas, I like beer. I like the flavor. I like the taste.

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It has to be a certain time or a certain, because I don't like beer 90% of the time, but just sometimes, like, an allagash white, when it's sitting in front of me, it has to be light. Oh, you're talking about iPas. I think a light beer specifically, yeah.

[00:18:09]

So what exactly is an IPA? Is that a type of drink?

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Is that pale ale?

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A million dollars? I couldn't tell you that.

[00:18:17]

It's a beer that's been induced with a lot of hops of barley. And the way it started was the way they wanted to get beer. If they wanted to ship it all the way to India for the beer to last, they had to put in a lot of hops in it for it to maintain its flavor. And then as shipping got faster, they realized, oh, the taste has kind of stayed the same. And so then that became its own genre of beer is India pale ales. And they're thicker, they're slower, there's more alcohol in it, and they're very bitter. It's an acquired taste.

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Yeah, it tastes like sucking on a copper pipe.

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That's a good.

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With, like, rust. I actually hate that taste. And when people go, this is a good indian pale ale, and I'll try it, and every single one, just.

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It's a good try. It's good to take a sip of someone else's IPA, but you don't want to drink that whole thing.

[00:19:10]

There's occasions where you, I think, get an IPA where you don't want, because if you give me a bud light, I'm drinking it down in less than two minutes, it's done. IPAs, I can sit through a whole dinner and just drink that IPA. I like that. It's a slower beer ride. But yet I do agree it's an acquired taste. And the reason why I like them is because my dad is obsessed with IPAs. And when I finally could drink, like, at home, the refrigerator I had, so I would just drink IPAs. So for me, I don't taste it.

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What was all the beer that we had in the fridge? When I saw these beers, I was like, oh, this is what beer is. And I think I already said this. Smart. That's the best what I thought beer was. So when I was sipping, when I was like, damn, beer is, I was like, this is yummy. And then my mom would go for, like, the bud light limes, too. I was like, okay, this is like. But I'm kind of liking this role. I can't wait till I'm an adult. And then IPAs came around, and I.

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Was just like, okay, the amount of people who buy them, are you buying them to drink them or are people buying them to ICE? People that don't like.

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No, that don't like. There's a lot of people that do not like the taste of alcohol. That's why they don't like drinking. So they just go for this type of drink. Like Mariah. Mariah's, like, a perfect example. If she liked.

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Mariah's perfect.

[00:20:27]

Being drunk. If she enjoyed being drunk, sometimes she would go for something like this. Like that demographic.

[00:20:33]

I always wanted to try a zima. Do you remember Zimas?

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No. It was like, how do you spell that?

[00:20:38]

Z I m a. They were big in the, like, early two thousand s. A lot of it's like, Zila. Zima. Zima.

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I've never seen.

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I've never seen that.

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TV would do sketches about Zimas, but, like, moms used to drink this all the time and they don't make them anymore. But I would just have loved to try.

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I love the look.

[00:20:58]

It looks like you're drinking straight up out of a liquor bottle.

[00:21:00]

I like chandelier.

[00:21:02]

Beautiful.

[00:21:03]

Oh, that's gorgeous.

[00:21:04]

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That's right, baby. Pick more, pick less. It's that easy. Thank you so much, prize picks, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you. Okay. Another thing that I had on my list, sour candy as an adult.

[00:23:23]

How?

[00:23:24]

What?

[00:23:24]

Dare you?

[00:23:25]

I don't get it. If you're a kid, I get it. I used to like cry babies because it felt whatever. I don't understand how anybody likes something sour candy. If you eat it and it makes.

[00:23:39]

You go like this.

[00:23:41]

Not good.

[00:23:41]

What? Heath?

[00:23:42]

I don't. Not good.

[00:23:43]

Most candies don't make you do that, except for, like, warheads or something.

[00:23:47]

Sour candy.

[00:23:49]

Sour strip. Would you put that whole strip in?

[00:23:50]

So, like, a sour strip, just like.

[00:23:53]

Anything, like, super sour skittles. I don't get it.

[00:23:56]

I think this argument can also be made with extremely spicy stuff, too. Why do people go heavily spicy?

[00:24:02]

I don't get that either.

[00:24:03]

It's a hit because it's like, you feel so alive. It's like an orgasm. You're like, oh, my God. This sensation took me all over.

[00:24:12]

I love super spicy things sometimes, especially in indian food, because it literally clears my sinuses. It's, like, the best feeling when it comes to that. I'm just like, my nostrils open up and I can breathe, which is weird because I can't breathe here anymore, but I can breathe up here, and it's, like, great. When you're sick, like, eating something real spicy, you're just like.

[00:24:33]

And I feel like if you're having sour stuff, you're less likely to have more of the sour stuff, because if you have a whole bag of just sweet things, you want to eat all the sweet things.

[00:24:40]

I agree with that.

[00:24:41]

Slows your pace down, I think, for enjoying sweets and gets the rush, we.

[00:24:47]

Have, like, sour strip candies. If all those strips were not sour, you eat the whole bag. But if you have sour strips, you'll have, like, three, and you're, like, satisfied. You're like, okay, I can close these up. Yeah. It's a good way to kind of.

[00:24:59]

Like, the best part of a warhead was the sweet after the sour.

[00:25:03]

You know? Warheads aren't.

[00:25:05]

You're like, I just got to break through this wall to get to the reward, right.

[00:25:08]

And why not just have the reward? Why sit there and fight your tongue freaking out?

[00:25:15]

Have you had a warhead lately?

[00:25:17]

No, I haven't.

[00:25:18]

So I think they were really strong when we were kids, but have a warhead now, you'll see how not sour. It actually is. I think just as kids, you're just like.

[00:25:27]

But after you have, like, three warheads, you're like. Your mouth feels like it's been charred all your time.

[00:25:33]

Yeah.

[00:25:34]

And also the sour skittles, your roof of your mouth and your tongue would be raw.

[00:25:38]

Okay. So I'm not a fan the way they do those sour skittles, because it's like you're eating rocks because it's so sharp everywhere. I think it's because the skittle, if.

[00:25:47]

You look closely at it, it looks.

[00:25:49]

Like there's a half mark where it's actually kind of tough on that end. So on the sour skittles, that mark is actually sharper. So when you're, like, sucking on a sour skittle, it's like actually cutting your mouth from that middle.

[00:26:00]

It's like sandpaper.

[00:26:01]

Yeah, I'm not a fan.

[00:26:03]

Just eat lemons?

[00:26:05]

Yes.

[00:26:05]

Oh, yes. When I'm squeezing a lemon, I'll squeeze a little bit in my mouth.

[00:26:10]

Wild.

[00:26:10]

But there's no sweet reward.

[00:26:14]

Right.

[00:26:14]

That's why I don't get it.

[00:26:15]

Yeah, I like grapefruit juice. I like lemon water, lemonade, whatever. But I like it on the sour end. And he'll try it every time and he'll make a face.

[00:26:24]

He'll be like, this is the most delicious grapefruit. And I'm like, all right, I'll try it.

[00:26:28]

Oh, grapefruit.

[00:26:29]

Don't get it.

[00:26:30]

No, grapefruit.

[00:26:31]

That's another one.

[00:26:31]

Add it to the list.

[00:26:32]

If you put sugar on a grapefruit. No, a raw grape.

[00:26:37]

Yes. My favorite fruit on planet Earth.

[00:26:43]

They just don't get it.

[00:26:44]

They don't get it.

[00:26:45]

It's fine.

[00:26:46]

One time, I remember I was on, like, shrooms and I was in high school, and I went to my friend's dad's refrigerator and there was simply apple, simply orange. There was a simply grapefruit one, and I drank it and I threw up immediately.

[00:27:01]

Because you didn't like it.

[00:27:02]

I didn't.

[00:27:03]

But that has sugar in it.

[00:27:05]

Simply grapefruit.

[00:27:05]

Yeah. Look at it, dude. It has, like, fucking 40 grams of sugar.

[00:27:08]

Simply grapefruit doesn't. It's not like grapefruit added sugar. No, like papaya flavored things.

[00:27:13]

That was my nickname when I first moved to Pennsylvania.

[00:27:15]

Papaya.

[00:27:16]

Mariah. Papaya.

[00:27:17]

Because it rhymes. But I like papayas. What did you like?

[00:27:20]

Papaya. I didn't know what it was, and I just kept my mouth shut. And then I finally found out what it was because papayas. Where can you get a papaya.

[00:27:27]

They're not common.

[00:27:28]

There's, like, papaya smoothies. A lot of times at smoothie places.

[00:27:31]

I do like how soft they are.

[00:27:33]

They look almost like a mango.

[00:27:34]

I think they look more flavorful than they are.

[00:27:36]

But there's a whole thing about some people who, when they taste papaya, similar, I think, to people who eat cilantro, they think it tastes like soap for some people. For me, papaya tastes like vomit, or it smells like the underside of a nail when you cut it. And apparently the enzyme that's in papaya, because I googled this, I go, this tastes straight up like vomit. How do people like this? The enzyme that's in papaya is close to the enzyme that's in our gut, in our body.

[00:28:03]

Why, though?

[00:28:04]

And so it's just like, I don't know. I don't know the molecular.

[00:28:09]

I want to try papaya now. Why do I feel like I remember that as a kid? Because we used to have some papayas in the house. Because my stepmom is, they're all pakistani, and they would have papaya. Sometimes I feel like I remember what.

[00:28:21]

I think you would like them. They're soft and sweet, but I think the color throws me off because they look like they'd be really sweet and juicy. But it's kind of like a mild.

[00:28:30]

Flavor, and it also looks like a hairy kuchi.

[00:28:32]

The thing is, it's like you wouldn't really notice unless someone points it out, does this kind of taste like puke? And then you're like.

[00:28:38]

Then you're aware of it.

[00:28:39]

Because I had a budy who had a papaya smoothie when I was in Bonaire, and I go, that tastes like vomit. And he goes, what are you talking about? And then he drank it. He goes, oh, my God, you're so right.

[00:28:47]

It's like, once you tell somebody that.

[00:28:49]

That reminds me, though. I used to be gravitated towards this menu item whenever this ingredient was in it. But now I don't think I'll ever order it again because I don't know if my taste buds are changing or my scent is getting more sensitive. Truffle can't do the smell anymore.

[00:29:09]

Really.

[00:29:10]

It smells like sock.

[00:29:12]

It's a lot vomit.

[00:29:14]

It's super pungent because it's very pungent. We used to get it all the time. We'd get like the truffle.

[00:29:19]

If I saw truffle fries, I'm like, sign me up now. I'm like, get those away.

[00:29:23]

You actually don't like Truffle?

[00:29:24]

I'd rather just have regular fries now.

[00:29:26]

Me too. I'd rather have, like, a parmesan.

[00:29:29]

For me, it smells, like, very luxurious.

[00:29:31]

Yeah.

[00:29:32]

Because it's very expensive.

[00:29:33]

Yeah.

[00:29:33]

When I was, like, introduced to truffle, really rich people introduced me to truffle, and I was like, so for me, I think it's like, back to the things people.

[00:29:43]

Escargot.

[00:29:44]

No way.

[00:29:45]

Don't.

[00:29:46]

Escargot is delicious. Go to Balthazars in New York City.

[00:29:50]

No. Oh.

[00:29:51]

That is not allowed to add anything.

[00:29:53]

They are still alive. Absolutely not.

[00:29:55]

I have a question. With all these lists of things, think about if you were the only person on earth, would you go to a karaoke bar? Would you be eating caviar? You know what I mean? Or do you do it to say that I like escargot? I ate this. Look at me. I'm eating it. You would not do it by yourself if there was no social media things, though, I guess. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Exactly. That's how you have to think of it.

[00:30:22]

Okay.

[00:30:23]

Like, on my list. This is so random. I have tanning. Hear me out.

[00:30:29]

No, I don't think anybody likes tanning. They like what they look like after.

[00:30:32]

That's the thing. You like the end result. We tan because we like the way we look. Every time I'm like, I can't wait to go on vacation and lay out and tan. I'm out there for 15 seconds. I'm like, you can't freaking do this. I can't lay out. I get hot and itchy. Nobody enjoys it.

[00:30:47]

Like, a proper sunbathe.

[00:30:50]

Laying on the beach sucks.

[00:30:54]

I don't like the process of the beach, the getting there, the beach getting in general.

[00:30:59]

People pretend to like, unless you're doing a water activity, if you're surfing or if you're out there, like, fishing.

[00:31:05]

That's why I like east coast beaches, like seaside. Because you also have the boardwalk. I enjoyed going because the boardwalk, you can go inside for pizza, you could go to the arcade. You could play all these different games and go on a roller coaster, and then you can step on the beach and go for a dip and come.

[00:31:18]

Back and even that. I can't do it sober for something like that. I have to be. I get out of my mind gone. Just like, I want to be drunk out of my mind to be on the beach and then the boardwalk.

[00:31:31]

I think I need to be drunk to go, like, camping.

[00:31:34]

Yeah. No, that was my list of things.

[00:31:36]

No, camping.

[00:31:37]

Camping. I will walk out setting up a tent. Waking up in a tent, right? Waking up in a tent. You're either freezing, fucking cold, or hot as shit, sweating everywhere. There's no middle ground.

[00:31:50]

What's the second place? Fun. Third place fun. When he's away for his hiking trips, he's constantly texting me, complaining. It's just everything with, would you camp and hike if you were the only person on earth? If you couldn't post about it, if you couldn't, not to show off, you.

[00:32:10]

Couldn'T bring your Lumex camera, take some.

[00:32:13]

I know I can't post about it. You're telling me I got to do that in private or, like, when you.

[00:32:21]

Get back, you can't tell anybody about it? I would not be doing it. I would not be doing it. No way, no. Half the things that I think I enjoy doing, if I had to come back and not tell a soul, I would never.

[00:32:34]

Okay, let me have the floor for a second and explain this. I enjoy the getting out of the routine of the daily life and putting yourself in a situation to be appreciative of what you have. Does that make sense? So for me, I like going out, spending days in a mountain with no technology or, I mean, I have my sat phone out there to check your fancy rei.

[00:33:04]

Fucking bullshit. Big ten.

[00:33:06]

I could glamp all day.

[00:33:08]

You're excited to try out gadgets, expedition.

[00:33:14]

Do you like hiking or do you like the equipment?

[00:33:16]

I don't like hiking.

[00:33:18]

Do you like the equipment? I love picking out a tent.

[00:33:21]

Okay.

[00:33:21]

This is what I enjoy. I like getting to a new destination after a hike. I like the fact that I can move myself 6 miles to a lake, and then once I get to that lake, I can fish, I can make a fire at night, sit around it. I can cook. There's a primal feeling that you problems.

[00:33:40]

And solutions and you're actively solving them too.

[00:33:42]

I like that.

[00:33:44]

I like the steps to get to what I enjoy.

[00:33:49]

If I ever went camping with Heath, 100% for him, nothing for me, right? If we both went camping, I would constantly look at Heath to make sure he's having a good time. So whenever we got to this lake that he's been talking about all day, we get there, I'm like, this is just beautiful. The whole time. I'm just saying this only for.

[00:34:08]

Myself. When we moved to Pennsylvania, my mom was so worried because I cried every single day for months because I was crying about. There was nothing to look at because it was cornfields, hills, mountains, grass. And I was freaking out because what am I looking at, I was used to Staten island and having neighbors, so I think that was a negative effect on me. So now if I look at a mountain, I'd be like, that's so cool. But I don't look at it as like, this is unbelievable.

[00:34:38]

That's how I look at it.

[00:34:39]

But it is unbelievable. But I don't think that.

[00:34:44]

Okay, sure. Let me put this into a perspective. Do you like traveling?

[00:34:49]

I like going to different countries, yes. With my friends. We're enjoying these moments together.

[00:34:57]

You wouldn't do it by yourself?

[00:34:59]

Hell no.

[00:35:01]

Okay.

[00:35:01]

I'd be so bored.

[00:35:03]

I like your equivalent to camping and hiking, which I also think Zane would disagree with. But you would agree with us. I genuinely enjoy. I could pick a random city on a map and I'll show up and I would love just walking around the town and seeing how other people live, going to their coffee shops, going to perspective. I'm also very nosy. Yeah. Like when we went to arizona for the first time, that was a blast. We didn't buy anything. We walked around the whole time. But I loved being in a different environment. But I needed stuff to look.

[00:35:38]

Like you need stuff to look at. I need somebody to talk to about what I'm looking, you know, everything in one ear, out the other. Like everything I'm looking at, if I was by myself in another country, I'd be like, just escape my brain immediately.

[00:35:52]

The way I mean about traveling is like, do you like getting on the flight for 8 hours to go somewhere? No. Do you like the process of dealing with checking into a hotel or doing this and this? No. But you like coming back and the podcast? No. You enjoy it while you're there. But would you want to be constantly traveling your entire life and be like a nomad?

[00:36:11]

Do we really like traveling? It's a pain in the ass.

[00:36:14]

It's fun on an occasion.

[00:36:16]

Planning is always struggling. I don't know one person that enjoys to plan, but that's.

[00:36:22]

I like hunting down spots before I go do it.

[00:36:24]

I like going to the spot and putting cool things to do near me.

[00:36:28]

I like doing that. But the camping thing, just to go back to that though, my thing about camping, I've done it. I've done it multiple times. I'm happy I have done camping, but for me it's a little repetitive. Unless I'm really looking at something new or I'm by a new creek. But I've done the activity. That's why a different city is a whole new city that's so much more enthralling to explore because it's way different than the last time camping, though sometimes it's like the margin of similarity of the last time you camped, and then the next time you. Yes, that's the same thing in my eyes.

[00:37:00]

And that's what I felt about sometimes in Europe, where I was expecting when we went to.

[00:37:06]

Oh, I loved Europe.

[00:37:08]

Europe. But there was a specific place that we were at where I just felt like we were just here in another country.

[00:37:14]

You felt that way in?

[00:37:16]

No, no. Positano was beautiful because we've never been anywhere like that.

[00:37:19]

Yeah, but you wanted to leave, so you were like, this is beautiful. But I saw it for the first 5 hours, and I want to get it because there's nothing to do. Heath and I like, no, no.

[00:37:27]

I think I was so stressed out with how small everything was. I was getting, like, claustrophobic at Bozitana.

[00:37:32]

I had to walk sideways down the.

[00:37:34]

Street, and I also saw couples just everywhere. That made me just like. And normally that doesn't bother me, but it was just, like, really bothered me while choking me with the claustrophobia. But it was beautiful, though. It was beautiful, though. I love the boat day, being able to see the side of the city.

[00:37:52]

But Heath and I could stay there for a week. You could probably do, like a weekend.

[00:37:56]

12 hours.

[00:37:57]

12 hours. Yeah, I enjoyed it, but maybe because we can do it together and we like stupid souvenir shops. Let me get a little postcard. Let me get, like, trinket. Little trinket.

[00:38:09]

And you know what I hate happens when I watch shows and there's a certain scene for like, 20 minutes, and they're in Italy and just the lag and everything, it makes you think that that's what you're going to get. I hate what movies have done to us with how they present different countries, because they really do a good job making it just something completely different. I'm not saying it's not beautiful in person, but that's just how I like to imagine things, like, very high quality in, like, a movie setting or a show setting or photo shoots or something like that. It's important.

[00:38:41]

It's important, though, you recognize that. I think a lot of people chase that high, and then they get depressed because they're never getting to that thing. But you have to know that. That wonder, though, it comes from within. So you have to find it really in your moment and see it. But it's good that you do recognize.

[00:38:58]

Like, you know what was just like the movies, though? Japan. Japan was like it was like stepping dead on. Yeah, that was dead on. Just like what I've seen on TV, which. That's pretty cool. How do people see what. What scenes do people watch from?

[00:39:13]

Do you remember landing in LA for the first time?

[00:39:15]

What I thought.

[00:39:16]

Yeah, that was.

[00:39:17]

And it's a horrible area.

[00:39:19]

All of Los Angeles was Beverly Hills.

[00:39:21]

Me too.

[00:39:22]

Yeah.

[00:39:23]

I'm not joking.

[00:39:25]

When you think of Hollywood in your mind, you picture Beverly Hills. You picture the street with the palm trees, seeing the Hollywood sign. That is only a neighborhood here.

[00:39:34]

We got off that plane and got into a car and we were like.

[00:39:37]

We were sucks.

[00:39:39]

Neither one of us wanted to say anything, right?

[00:39:42]

We were just like, looking out, like, what we saw. What was. LA was like Orange county, which is something so far out. It's just not where people are usually visiting when they come to travel to.

[00:39:53]

LA is big. It's a big metropolitan.

[00:39:56]

Huge.

[00:39:56]

I didn't realize it was so big.

[00:39:57]

Yeah.

[00:39:58]

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this podcast, Zach.

[00:40:02]

Doc, are you that one friend in the friend group that loves to treat yourself? It's okay, honestly. We all do it. Get a pedicure and opt for the extra ten minute foot massage with green seat infused lotion. Refuse to make that coffee at home because the fancy coffee shop is right downstairs.

[00:40:17]

Guilty.

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It's hard to find one.

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I honestly just wish that you went to Zocdoc when you had that head thing going on. I know up in Mexico?

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I wish I did.

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How did you not think of that out there?

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It was before I knew about Zocdoc.

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[00:42:34]

Is there other things?

[00:42:36]

Did you have any other ones?

[00:42:37]

I did, yeah.

[00:42:37]

Well, I could just keep listening under camping, like just shitting in the woods, being in the middle of nowhere. Just being in the middle of nowhere. I just think, why are we going back in time? You know what I mean? We fought to not have to live in the middle of nowhere. We fought to be able to live in houses or apartments or not having to wipe our ass with leaves and shit.

[00:43:01]

Yeah, I think because I also get anxiety, you know, from being dirty. Filthy, yeah. I could put on like this outfit I just put on for the podcast going straight to the wash.

[00:43:14]

Does anybody else feel that way?

[00:43:18]

I just feel filthy all the time.

[00:43:21]

Clothes are just as soon as you put them on.

[00:43:23]

Yeah, they're dirty.

[00:43:24]

Gone.

[00:43:25]

Oh, you just like a trash.

[00:43:26]

They're going to do a fire burn.

[00:43:30]

After use I also had on my list the club. A nightclub.

[00:43:37]

No. Yeah. That's also another thing where you're not going there sober. You have to be drunk. There's nothing fun about it.

[00:43:44]

That's the thing. Even when I did drink and I was single, if my friends would take me to a club, we would have the conversation every single time. Like, is anybody. You can't hear see everyone? If you really look at everybody, awful. Everyone's just looking at each other like, okay, what's next?

[00:44:03]

Everybody's just looking at other people to.

[00:44:04]

See what is there really to do. And then the DJ, you don't know the music, you know the songs, but you don't know the drops. You don't know their build up, and.

[00:44:15]

They'Re only giving it to you in like, 32nd increments. And right when you want that chorus to hit, it's going to something else.

[00:44:23]

DJ just has, like, a hit clip, just that 32nd little.

[00:44:26]

And what I don't like that nightclubs do, or what I don't like about nightclubs is that when you go to a bar, everybody's equal. When you go to a bar, there's no special services for anybody. At a bar, everyone's the same level. You go to a nightclub, I just feel like I'm back in high school. It's like, oh, the popular kids are all over here. Oh, but you cannot go past me. You see a friend in there? No, you can't pass this section.

[00:44:55]

Bottle is $600.

[00:44:58]

It's insane.

[00:44:58]

And then they hit you with, like, a $3,000 minimum for the table. So it's like, even if you don't drink it, I'm paying $6,000.

[00:45:07]

It's way too serious. I don't. Girls don't pay. Guys pay $100. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why it's not that serious.

[00:45:15]

And I'm surprised that hasn't changed yet. I'm surprised that it's like, imagine going to a nightclub where everybody's just everywhere. There's no special section for anybody. It's just a DJ and then the whole dance floor, and then there's just tables in the middle. To me, that would be fun.

[00:45:33]

I like mid tier nightclubs, like bottled blonde, like, down in Chicago, where it's like a sports bar, but then it turns into a club at night, but it's not too pretentious to the side.

[00:45:44]

And everybody still kind of hangs out.

[00:45:46]

Give me some cornhole. Yeah, give me a little under the table. In the dark.

[00:45:50]

In the dark.

[00:45:53]

Even like, fancy restaurants, especially out here or in Manhattan. Pitch black.

[00:45:59]

Yeah.

[00:45:59]

I can't see what I'm eating, but actually, it's not a bad thing, because sometimes if we go to a fancy restaurant, don't come for me. I like my meat well done. But if we're in a dark restaurant and I don't see the color. So am I really enjoying it well done, or is it just, like, a visual?

[00:46:17]

I just want every restaurant to be like the restaurant we went to in Italy, where everybody is just, like, napkins in the air, just on tables. I want every place I walk into. I don't care if I'm eating breakfast, lunch, dinner. I want everybody just, like, booty popping, just energy.

[00:46:35]

Everybody was on the same page. Everybody got.

[00:46:38]

That was, like, the only place we've ever been to that was like that. It just, like, sucked.

[00:46:42]

Have you seen the new thing that they're doing? At a battle between nightclub tables and the challenges, whoever can dump out the most, like, say, I have a table over here with my crew, and Matt has a table with his crew over here. They're taking, like, $600 bottles of liquor, like, don Julio, whatever. At these clubs, and they're looking at each other, and they're popping brand new bottles, and they're pouring it out on the floor to show, like, I can dump this much money without getting kicked out.

[00:47:20]

No, the club.

[00:47:21]

Because they're buying bottle after bottle just to pour it out. And there's just liquor.

[00:47:27]

That doesn't make sense.

[00:47:28]

It's literally just a flex. Like, look at my table. Pull up videos.

[00:47:34]

I've seen ones of, like, a guy just, like, dumping a whole bottle of vodka.

[00:47:37]

Never, like, a competition nightclub bottle dump.

[00:47:40]

And are the bouncers or, like, the DJs, like, all right, let's see a table three. You guys got money?

[00:47:45]

Who's got more money? Let's see you dump it.

[00:47:47]

Can you imagine that anxiety when you wake up in the morning after dumping a whole bottle? Be like, I did what?

[00:47:52]

Yeah, watch this video.

[00:47:54]

I'd be pissed. That is bottle owner.

[00:47:56]

There's no way that's genuinely fun.

[00:47:59]

Literally just a flex to be like, I can pour this out.

[00:48:01]

But, Mariah, surprise.

[00:48:02]

Think about it.

[00:48:03]

If we were the only ones in a nightclub, we would have fun.

[00:48:05]

100%.

[00:48:06]

Yeah.

[00:48:06]

Because we're all on the same page.

[00:48:08]

Brilliant idea. If one guy was like, actually, let's go give table one two bottles filled with water. Tell them that they're just doing it as a flex to get this other table to be like, oh, shit, let's outdo them. So, like, it started off with just full of water, and then they got people to start buying all these fucking bottles as a flex.

[00:48:26]

While we're waiting for this to skip, my next one was Taylor Swift.

[00:48:30]

People genuinely enjoy Taylor Swift.

[00:48:33]

You think people pretend to like Taylor Swift songs?

[00:48:35]

A bunch of people, yeah.

[00:48:36]

Well, I'll agree with that. Some people, I feel like are fake swifty fans, where they do it. I feel like there's some influencers out there who do it to creators.

[00:48:48]

Yes.

[00:48:48]

I'm not saying, like, swifties don't like Taylor Swift, but there's definitely a big chunk of people that are just doing it just because everybody else is.

[00:48:56]

Absolutely.

[00:48:57]

Yeah, yeah. Definitely. In the creator world. Definitely in, like, friend groups.

[00:49:00]

Oh, I've had some friends who know other big influencers who know that they like that artist, and then they'll start liking that artist. It's like, where the fuck was this? You were just saying because you want.

[00:49:08]

The approval of that person.

[00:49:10]

Yes. I hate stuff like that.

[00:49:14]

Crazy bottle war trend on TikTok sparked in debate over flexing.

[00:49:20]

Are there any sports that you think that a lot of people pretend that they like in.

[00:49:24]

I was thinking pickleball. This is weird coming from me. People watching NASCAR.

[00:49:30]

Yeah.

[00:49:31]

I do not get it. Yeah, NASCAR events are fun. You go, I get it. If you want know, get drunk, walk around, eat shitty food, and just be around a bunch of people getting drunk at the same time. Hoopla.

[00:49:44]

Right.

[00:49:44]

But to actually, there is. The only important thing is the last lap of the entire race.

[00:49:51]

Facts.

[00:49:53]

If you do not have to pay attention to the sport for the entirety of it.

[00:49:58]

What are we doing?

[00:49:59]

What are you doing?

[00:50:00]

Also give me some bananas and some bonus boxes. Make it like fucking Mario Kart.

[00:50:04]

If you want to challenge us in there.

[00:50:07]

Let's see some cars, messed up ramps. Most people only watch it for a crash, and that is horrible.

[00:50:13]

Your excitement comes true, right? Because the only clips from NASCAR that go viral are accidents. Yes. Nobody's like, look at this drift.

[00:50:22]

Yeah.

[00:50:22]

Look at this maneuver he did right here, man. He really came around the corner and got there in front. Can you believe that? Like a whoopty do.

[00:50:29]

Also.

[00:50:29]

Okay.

[00:50:30]

I hope Europe doesn't come for me. Tour de France. Do not get it. It's one of the most watched sporting events in the world. I think it's, like, number two.

[00:50:40]

Yes.

[00:50:41]

Most watched sporting event.

[00:50:43]

Why? It's kind of beautiful. Because they're not going around in a loop. They are going through the countryside of France.

[00:50:50]

I get it.

[00:50:51]

And it's some of the most scenic. I understand. I get the monotony of what they're.

[00:50:56]

Doing, but people are only rooting for that one guy trying to reach out with his arm and cause a wreck and wipe the entire.

[00:51:03]

I know. That's what I'm waiting for. Right. Which is horrible, but we don't want anybody to be hurt. Right? It's just like the chaos of it. That one person with their sign just being a complete dick, just trying to be on TV and just the whole.

[00:51:19]

Watching, waiting for that moment.

[00:51:21]

Yeah. It's like that little part of hockey where a lot of people are going just to see a fight.

[00:51:26]

The most exciting thing. You go to a game, you're like, man, I hope there's a fight today.

[00:51:29]

Encourage fighting out because it makes for good views on TV.

[00:51:33]

Yeah, hockey is fucking annoying because I can't even see the fucking puck. I never know. I see the sickle like this and my head's over there and score on the other side. It's so annoying. Trick. I hate it. There was two, three hockey games I went.

[00:51:49]

I'm only reacting the way the crowds reacted.

[00:51:52]

Okay, we're cheering, we're cheering. And I remember we were up to the glass and I remember the only fun part was being able to.

[00:51:58]

Yeah.

[00:51:59]

On the fate.

[00:51:59]

Try to get their attention.

[00:52:00]

Yeah.

[00:52:02]

This one you might find surprising, but it's horrible to sit through a dance recital. Probably the worst thing that would be a really good punishment for something. Sit through a dance recital. I dare you. When you're younger, the worst. Because when you're backstage like I did dance recitals my whole life, it is the most exciting day of the year because you're rushing backstage, you have quick changes. There's so much happening. You're getting the little kids ready, you're rehearsing, you're stretching, you're constantly moving. When you sit through a dance recital, if you're not a dancer, if you're a parent, if you're a brother, I always told my mom, don't have Nick and John come. Like, I just feel too bad. It's brutal because it's so slow paced in the audience because you're wait. Like the dances are long. It's like a two minute dance. And especially when the little kids come out. Like, it's cute if you know the kid, but then it's so hard to explain if you ever get invited, if.

[00:53:01]

It'S not your own child. And watching.

[00:53:03]

Right. And non dancers truly are only entertained by tricks.

[00:53:09]

Give me a cheer competition though.

[00:53:11]

I was just going to say that all star cheer is so exciting. I dreamed of being an all star.

[00:53:17]

Cheerleader video that I sent you. I want to do that so bad. I don't know why. The synchronization of dancers. I'm watching each face just thinking, if one person fucks up a routine by a smidge, you can tell that there's going to be a fight after a big fight with how intense the moves are and how just perfect the group of like, 100 people are.

[00:53:43]

So those are professionals. Picture people that are only doing it as a recreational hobby.

[00:53:49]

I think it should be in the fucking Olympics. Give me cheerleaders.

[00:53:52]

It is really unbelievable how they do it. And there's people. I found out I'm not too old to cheer. They have adult.

[00:53:59]

Really?

[00:53:59]

Yeah. You can be like, there's like 40 year olds on cheer teams.

[00:54:02]

This is a 31 year old man. I like watching cheerleading clips, but then I'm like, what am I doing? I'm watching these high school girls do flips. Get this off my feet. I feel weird, but, like, I need to see some people of age.

[00:54:12]

Miami dolphins cheerleaders. I swear to God, back then they were like all mid 30s, Fort. Like, they were all pretty old. Unless they just looked old.

[00:54:19]

They looked older. Yeah, they're in their twenty s and.

[00:54:22]

They can be like, older than a certain.

[00:54:24]

No, you can. Those people are just.

[00:54:26]

They would choose a younger person.

[00:54:28]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure, like the oldest person to pro cheer for the NFL or whatever. I think they were maybe 39, 40, but that's very rare. Yeah, they're usually like 18 to 28.

[00:54:43]

Maybe back to the recitals. I think what would be so much more interesting, because I always think backstage, what's happening backstage is always so interesting. Like the bts of it. I wish there was a stage. Right. Like you come to recital, the stage is a spinning stage, right? So every time that they're done with a routine, it just starts spinning and you're just seeing everybody freak out in the back. And they just don't pretend that you don't know that the audience is watching. Just act like how you need to be to get back on stage in a timely manner. I want to see the back and forth on that.

[00:55:17]

If people pay extra for orchestra seats, you should pay to be in the wing.

[00:55:21]

Yeah, that would be such a good show.

[00:55:23]

When you see a quick. This sounds wrong. You want it, but when you look at a quick change, when you have to go from costume to costume in that wing, it's insane. That's why we're so good. Not that I've done it, but I could drive and change my whole outfit, hair, makeup. I can do it. I've had to do it before. I think I haven't done it.

[00:55:43]

Changing pants while driving, it's so fun.

[00:55:47]

I'm pretty sure that's worse than drunk driving. For sure.

[00:55:50]

I'll show you.

[00:55:51]

And then you on the way home.

[00:55:53]

On the highway.

[00:55:55]

On the highway.

[00:56:00]

Imagine seeing that as a driver.

[00:56:03]

But like I said, I've always been the person in the performance, and my very first time being in that position where I got to see, okay, I worked for dance moms for one episode.

[00:56:17]

You did?

[00:56:18]

I did. Backstage. I had the headset and a clipboard, and this was, like, maybe five, six years ago or something. And it was so much fun to see the behind the scenes of the dancers rushing during competition backstage. And, like, I had Lee Miller in her wheelchair.

[00:56:36]

Out of the way, please. Out of the way. Woman in the clipboard. Out of my way.

[00:56:40]

I had the clipboard of the order, so I had to make sure, as the backstage manager, to make sure everyone was in order in the wings, dressed, ready to go. Their music was ready, and I had to make sure. Okay, we have the dance mom girls coming out next. You have to wait. This studio has to wait. And I had to make sure, and I've never been in that position. I had a fake, I think I was like, because it was the studio owner of the studio I taught at here. She got to judge that competition, so they said, do you know anybody that can do backstage? And she was like, mariah, can you do it?

[00:57:10]

I'm like, yeah, I've done this.

[00:57:11]

Never done it before. And I had to pretend.

[00:57:13]

Yeah. I think my goal is to be in one of those competitions for just one time.

[00:57:19]

One time.

[00:57:20]

Yeah. Like, you're all just watching. Like, is that Zane?

[00:57:23]

And I'm just trying to blend just.

[00:57:27]

But I kill it, though. I've been practicing for months, and I.

[00:57:30]

Because if you did it, you'd be like, never bring it up. It didn't happen. Macy's day parade.

[00:57:39]

But you know how when artists do, they're performing and they have backstage, they have dancers on the side. They're not doing every single routine, but they do only a few. Right. They're singing, singing. And then they'll pop up. Boom, boom, boom. With the dancers.

[00:57:55]

Hillary's up.

[00:57:57]

I just want to be the center where I don't need to do every single one. I could just go off, just improv the whole time, but hit at least, like 50% of the moves, so it's not like that much pressure on me.

[00:58:09]

You have it. I think you have what it takes.

[00:58:12]

I think so, too.

[00:58:12]

There's an adult category at some competitions. You should just do one out here.

[00:58:16]

Oh, okay.

[00:58:17]

Oh, you'd kick their ass.

[00:58:18]

Okay. I think.

[00:58:19]

Yeah, you would eat it up.

[00:58:21]

My kids TikToks are going to be number one with.

[00:58:24]

Come on.

[00:58:24]

I just want to go to a breakdance battle. When I was younger, I thought I would be going to a lot more breakdance battles as an adult.

[00:58:32]

I can't imagine any right now.

[00:58:36]

You got served where it's like two stories. It's like a fucking inferno. And we got.

[00:58:41]

I've only seen that in movies, like, so much.

[00:58:43]

Yeah, movies really made it seem like it was such a common thing that you would just run into in street races.

[00:58:49]

I thought I'd be going to street races every weekend.

[00:58:52]

Fast and furious.

[00:58:53]

What do you got? Got NASA.

[00:58:54]

That.

[00:58:54]

All right. I thought I would be doing.

[00:58:57]

You thought you'd have to race your car for pinks and you might end.

[00:59:00]

Up losing it one day.

[00:59:02]

I remember thinking that I was going to be, like, literally having to put up.

[00:59:07]

No, you know what? I want to pull up to those adrift ones where the sideshow? Yeah, the sideshows where the cars are just. And they're just hitting people.

[00:59:16]

You just get stuck in the middle of it. And it's kind of like at a show where people push you into dance people. I don't want you.

[00:59:22]

But then you have to get in.

[00:59:23]

And whip your car sideways.

[00:59:24]

Don't people do that? Haven't you been invited?

[00:59:26]

Miles? Miles wants me to go all that.

[00:59:28]

He's literally at a sideshow. Yeah.

[00:59:30]

People are getting. People are getting hit and they're flying and they're just getting up.

[00:59:33]

It's my favorite is the guy, he got hit and then his pants fell off.

[00:59:37]

Yes, I saw that.

[00:59:38]

They are getting wrecked out there. I don't understand.

[00:59:41]

But they're not getting hurt.

[00:59:43]

The city's cracking down on it. They'll, like, block off whole intersections and everybody gets a ticket if you go to those things. Wow, they're dangerous, though.

[00:59:51]

That's what we should do for a video, you and I at a sideshow?

[00:59:54]

Yes, that's what they call it. Sideshows.

[00:59:56]

Be careful if you guys go to that.

[00:59:59]

I just want to see where I'm just like, sitting there, like.

[01:00:03]

No, I want you hanging out of the car like you're on top of.

[01:00:08]

Like a challenger, like the Joker? Yes. You have to.

[01:00:13]

You know what I never fail to point out, especially when I'm with you. And what is the point? Every time I see, like, a mark of someone who did a donut, I'm like, damn, sideshow Dan. I'm always pointing out, I'm like, dan, somebody skidded. Shut up. Who cares?

[01:00:28]

Look, somebody did a burnout here.

[01:00:29]

Yeah. Like, just the mark with a body.

[01:00:32]

Outline on the floor. Someone got hit.

[01:00:34]

I thought I would see that in my lifetime. The tape outline?

[01:00:36]

Yeah. They should have it everywhere where someone has died to just make you keep your eyes. Yeah.

[01:00:44]

I have one more thing on my list.

[01:00:48]

I have one, too.

[01:00:49]

Abstract art.

[01:00:50]

Yeah.

[01:00:51]

No, there's no way you're looking.

[01:00:54]

I'm excited for him to try to defend.

[01:00:56]

You're not going to museum looking like.

[01:00:59]

A square, triangle and a circle. And it's like on a.

[01:01:02]

And you're standing their hands behind your back and looking at it for more than a second. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way.

[01:01:11]

Well, then, if an art piece doesn't strike you or doesn't make you feel anything, then I guess that's okay. Then the art isn't for you.

[01:01:19]

But I get what you say.

[01:01:20]

I'm not saying art in general. I'm saying abstract art where abstract art was groundbreaking.

[01:01:25]

If someone's doing something that nobody else.

[01:01:26]

Has done, a circle, I can do one right now.

[01:01:29]

I've looked it. I've seen things that I'm like, not good.

[01:01:32]

Mark Rothko was, like, a big guy in the. That was kind of controversial in the.

[01:01:38]

Like what?

[01:01:39]

Okay. No, it all depends. Right. But there are certain things where there's certain art where I'm like, okay, this looks good. And this would actually look very good in a certain space.

[01:01:49]

I understand there's bad abstract art where they're trying to make something that looks cool and abstract, but there really is no meaning. I think you can create the world in an abstract way.

[01:01:59]

It's like the one guy that does it upside down. Yes. He'll paint the whole thing upside down. And then at the very end, he flips it, and it's Kobe Bryant. And you're like, oh, my God.

[01:02:08]

To me, that's a gimmick. Or like, the guy does the paint bucket and he spins it around. Get that out of my fucking.

[01:02:14]

What's the difference between that, though, and something? Put a square, and then it's like that. What's the difference between that pink hand and that yellow wall right there?

[01:02:22]

Look, it's intention and purpose.

[01:02:24]

No, look, Matt, you know what I mean? What's the difference between that and what the kid does with the paint can?

[01:02:28]

This is the way I see it. Listen, if I can duplicate it.

[01:02:32]

True.

[01:02:33]

Not good. If there's an artist that can paint something that looks realistic, and I'm going, wow, that looks just like this. This looks like a real thing. I can't tell the difference between painting that's great. Or a picture.

[01:02:45]

Those kind of look like Mark Rothko paintings. Those are like. Are ones where you step into it.

[01:02:51]

And you like, yeah, maybe it's just not for me.

[01:02:53]

Maybe I'm just not stepping in.

[01:02:55]

Feel.

[01:02:55]

No.

[01:02:56]

Like this room. How long can you really be in there for? You're paying for blue square.

[01:03:01]

That's all I got.

[01:03:02]

Yeah. It all depends on the art, right? I'm so 50 50 on this because there are certain art where I'm like, wow, that's really beautiful. And it's, like, simple, but it's something I just can't recreate. But it's simple, but it's really good. There's some museums, I could take that wallpaper and just frame it and just put it on a wall, and people would just stand there for, like, five minutes and watch it, and I'll sit back there and be like, I just took wallpaper.

[01:03:29]

Oh, yeah. You could be at Italian. Or, like, you're thinking you're eating at this nice restaurant and they're just whipping stuff up for Trader Joe's, but because you think you're eating at a nice restaurant, you think the food's good.

[01:03:39]

There's got to be somebody who has art in a museum, and they just bullshitted it, and they're laughing their way to the bank because people are like, I get where his vision was, and he's just laughing.

[01:03:49]

And you know what? I'm sure there's a lot of artists that are like that.

[01:03:53]

And if you're making up the story of what the artist was feeling while doing it.

[01:03:57]

Yeah.

[01:03:58]

You're wrong.

[01:03:58]

What if they were just bored?

[01:04:00]

Yeah. I could tell right here. This was, like, his frustration. He was feeling anger and was feeling closed off in his body, and he was just trying to get through. It's like, no, you're making that up in your head.

[01:04:11]

You're wrong.

[01:04:12]

You know who's unbelievable? Have you seen the young Picasso? He's, like, ten years old. You can look at that and be like, wow, he's unbelievable. He's a child, right? How do I say this without sounding. I wouldn't hang a Picasso painting in my house. It's just not my vibe, but I know it's amazing. I could not do that. This kid is, like, ten years old.

[01:04:35]

He's talented, but I think he has, like, it down to a formula.

[01:04:38]

But he's ten years old. This is now.

[01:04:41]

Okay, that's a clown. I can see. So the keys.

[01:04:43]

Look at this kid. He did all that.

[01:04:45]

Oh, wow.

[01:04:46]

So it is a contemporary style. Not my style, but I know this is really hard to do. And he's ten years old.

[01:04:53]

But the thing is, if you didn't know this ten year old was there, you would look at one of these paintings, and some guy would just walk up and be like, man, this is a grown man who feels really.

[01:05:01]

I wouldn't think it's a Picasso imitation.

[01:05:03]

Yeah, I wouldn't know that a kid did that. It's really good. I love that a kid did it. It makes me want to buy the art because a little kid made it, for sure.

[01:05:13]

Right?

[01:05:13]

It definitely changes.

[01:05:14]

But then also, you look at adults who are drawing this stuff, and you're like, okay, it looks like this ten year old just painted that.

[01:05:20]

And you also know he's going to be a big name in the future.

[01:05:22]

So people are sometimes, you know, he's drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.

[01:05:27]

It all depends on what type of pieces you want to have in your home, because every art, like, that's why art history is so important. The reason why certain people go down in the history books is because they went against the norm, and they created their own style and created a whole fucking movement that inspired everybody else to do interesting, more unique things through that.

[01:05:45]

Style to work off how Heath is feeling. I think if a person is genuinely putting something that they're feeling on, like, a canvas, I respect that. But I also feel like people can take advantage of people's emotions with art. Like, people that love art, they'll love watching art. There's a way to monetize off that with people that are just faking it.

[01:06:11]

I mean, the art world is crazy.

[01:06:13]

It's also, like, the most crooked type of business out there.

[01:06:16]

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of people that.

[01:06:18]

It's all just embezzling money.

[01:06:21]

Like, people on the street who do like, I'm going to make you an amazing landscape, but only in 10 seconds. To me, that's fucking bullshit. Yeah, it does look really cool. Yeah, you made it in 10 seconds, but that's like a fucking gimmick. Sure.

[01:06:31]

Yeah.

[01:06:31]

That painting is worth $10. I would never spend hundreds of dollars on something somebody just whipped up in a couple of seconds that they learned from somebody else who taught them the.

[01:06:41]

Craft for this second nature. To them, they're just on autopilot doing it. Yeah, like this kid, it's cool to watch. If he's inspired by Picasso, that's great. It's going to be nice. As he gets older, I feel like he's going to come out with his own and make it his own.

[01:06:56]

Hopefully.

[01:06:57]

He's very young right now, so as he gets older, he's probably going to want to be his own. It's kind of like if you're a.

[01:07:02]

Kid drawing up shit like that, you're going to get really good.

[01:07:04]

You can't get the stages of Picasso's art throughout his entire life.

[01:07:08]

Just, is it all different?

[01:07:09]

Oh, my God. He made a started off so, like, we'll call it beautiful, but just like incredible paintings. And then it just got so deconstructed down to like, oh, like this.

[01:07:22]

Wait.

[01:07:22]

Yeah.

[01:07:23]

What?

[01:07:23]

Oh, wow.

[01:07:24]

There's one that we.

[01:07:25]

That is fascinating.

[01:07:27]

As he got, like older and older and older abstract, it just became more just like all over the place and oh, my gosh. Bizarre.

[01:07:34]

That's the beauty of reinventing yourself, finding your own style, keeping things exciting and interesting. And that's what makes an artist interesting, is the history of where this was in their phase and in their life before they went crazy.

[01:07:48]

You could appreciate it. Be like, you know what? I get it.

[01:07:51]

That before and after is really cool.

[01:07:52]

Yeah.

[01:07:53]

I mean, just buy whatever strikes you. But if you're going to home goods and just buying the cheapest thing that they're putting on just hotel walls, I'm like, that's where it's like, well, what is that? What is that?

[01:08:03]

Then there's a couple of art that Leah brought home one time. It literally looked like a very bad symbol. I was like, leah, did you bother? Just, we had to trash it. I didn't even want to return it because it just needed to be in the trash. Oh, my God. It was just like, almost look like that.

[01:08:34]

Okay, that's really funny.

[01:08:37]

Art is very interesting.

[01:08:38]

It's subjective.

[01:08:40]

I did have one last thing on my list, food related coleslaw. Sauerkraut.

[01:08:48]

I love it. Me and your dad love it.

[01:08:50]

Coleslaw.

[01:08:51]

I swear, like, if I was the last person on earth, I would have coleslaw.

[01:08:55]

I think Coleslaw is good in like sandwiches. Like in a fried chicken sandwich.

[01:08:58]

I think to get coleslaw as a.

[01:09:02]

Side, I love it.

[01:09:03]

I don't understand.

[01:09:04]

I do it all the time.

[01:09:04]

I get KFC.

[01:09:05]

I know you.

[01:09:07]

Coleslaw. Coleslaw is pretty much cabbage and mayo. What's the dressing that's in it?

[01:09:11]

Carrots, cabbage.

[01:09:13]

Just shredded, shredded greens and a lot of. What? What is it? Mayo.

[01:09:17]

Mayo?

[01:09:17]

What am I eating?

[01:09:17]

Is it mayo?

[01:09:18]

Some sort of dressing?

[01:09:20]

Well, if it's a dressing, it's just salad.

[01:09:22]

Nobody mayo.

[01:09:23]

It's a salad minus the salad. There's no greens. It's what they would throw on top of a salad. They just took out all the good stuff, and now you just have toppings.

[01:09:32]

Yeah. To me, it's like a condiment.

[01:09:34]

To me, it's an addition. You get, like, a Nashville hot chicken sandwich, and there's some coleslaw on top. You get that crisp kind of lightness to it.

[01:09:44]

Sure.

[01:09:44]

But people who are buying the whole damn thing of coleslaw, like, no one's going to eat, like, whole bowl of coleslaw for dinner.

[01:09:51]

Excuse me. She does.

[01:09:52]

That's what I don't get.

[01:09:53]

I'll do it right now. Jordan, order me a bowl of coleslaw.

[01:09:56]

Yeah.

[01:09:56]

If I'm getting a side of coleslaw, like, if there's, like, an array of food, I'll get just a dollar.

[01:10:01]

If there's nothing else, I would have a side of coleslaw.

[01:10:05]

It's just refreshing.

[01:10:06]

It is kind of refreshing.

[01:10:07]

Very refreshing. Yeah.

[01:10:09]

Drink a glass of water.

[01:10:10]

You know what's not refreshing? A seltzer water. Because it does not quench your thirst. No, it doesn't.

[01:10:16]

I love coleslaw.

[01:10:17]

Kind of mayo, apple cider, really long. Church services, like, there's a level to where I'm glad if I'm up in the church, I'm enjoying my time, getting a little bit of holiness in my life. I'm for it. But there's, like, a level. Where is everyone else, really?

[01:10:32]

No.

[01:10:32]

What are we working? I know you're not. It's not like a play. There's no plot. I know there's moments where we got to do this ritual. We do this ritual, but it's like.

[01:10:40]

It's too long.

[01:10:41]

Yeah.

[01:10:42]

At service, I told me church was 30 minutes.

[01:10:44]

I'd go all the time, but I'm like, is it an hour and a half?

[01:10:46]

Like a drive through church?

[01:10:48]

I think, say a little prayer through the window. That's actually a really good idea.

[01:10:51]

An amazing idea.

[01:10:52]

I think half the people that go to church services, I think they're doing it to show everybody else that, hey, I'm here, too. At the church.

[01:10:59]

It's a community, though.

[01:11:01]

I don't think that people, there is a lot of people, I think, that do not sit at church and really focus on God, and they're not really.

[01:11:09]

Listening to the message. Sometimes if you go to a really long church service, why aren't we talking about what we just heard? Some people are just there. They're not even absorbing it or listening to it.

[01:11:20]

And then they, like, some people do only go to service Christmas and Easter. Yeah, my parents, we were the family that the only thing we talked about on Sunday was what we heard at would we learn at church today? What'd you hear at church today? That's good.

[01:11:34]

That means you're supposed to pay attention.

[01:11:36]

My family was very into it by.

[01:11:39]

What you just learned.

[01:11:40]

Right. When they come visit, the first thing is like, where's the nearest church? We're going on Sunday? They will go. Even on vacation, my mom goes to church by herself. They'll do the midnight mass like, they.

[01:11:52]

Are going, which I respect.

[01:11:55]

Others, you know, someone's good if they can't go to church, but they're watching the live stream. I'm like, okay, all right. You see, committed Patricia, sometimes she'll have the live stream on for church. Like, that's more of a commitment to.

[01:12:09]

Right.

[01:12:09]

Did you know that this couch, you.

[01:12:11]

Could watch it live?

[01:12:12]

Come on. Who are you talking to out here in LA? No offense to LA, but I would prefer the live stream over going in person. I think you feel the same way. It's just sometimes it feels a little gimmicky out here. It feels a little performative.

[01:12:30]

They try to relate it too much to being in LA.

[01:12:34]

Message. Overall, I can look past the trendiness and really focus on what the message is, what they're saying in the Bible, to live by his word. I can narrow that down and be like, okay, overall, this is what he was talking about. But there's people that get so caught up and they want to wear the trendiest outfit to church. That's not what this is about. So doing it online and putting it on the screen while we're having, like, I would prefer that out here, any other state.

[01:13:02]

I'm like, my first pastor out here. Boy, he was trendy.

[01:13:09]

They like name drop celebrities.

[01:13:11]

We have bieber here. I was talking to Beebs before we went on, and I said, who's headlining in your heart? Is it Jay z or is it Christ?

[01:13:22]

I actually helped him write his last album. Yeah, I put with the words of God in it. Holy, y'all. Heard that one.

[01:13:28]

Florida Georgia line. They hit me up and they. Hey, hey, jeff, we're trying to find a hook to this.

[01:13:34]

What do you think? What do you.

[01:13:35]

Holy.

[01:13:36]

Holy.

[01:13:37]

Can we all be a little bit more holy?

[01:13:39]

Everybody just close your eyes.

[01:13:40]

Yeah, close your eyes.

[01:13:42]

Everybody close your eyes.

[01:13:44]

He's, like, headlining in your heart. Everyone's like, coach Ella this, coach ella that.

[01:13:50]

But let him be coach.

[01:13:53]

Let him be coach ella. Ella.

[01:13:59]

I've always wanted to go to one where the pastor just puts your hand on chest and you just start. I will strike out a posey with white things. I want to levitate in church.

[01:14:11]

I want to see some people walk. I want to see some people get healed. Show me what you got.

[01:14:16]

I want to see some healation. I'm not gay no more. Okay. All right. I think that's all we have today.

[01:14:25]

Thank you so much for watching, as always. We love you guys. And we will jump into the unwind. If you don't know what the unwind.

[01:14:31]

Is, make sure to check out our Patreon. Patreon.com Stanley Heath. Where we have bonus episode. We have high and drunk episode. We have live Q and A's every month. We also have a private discord. And then we also leave these cameras rolling for an extra 15 to 25, 30 minutes, where we just have, like, a mini episode. We kind of just chitchat bullshit. Who fucking knows? But we have all that on our patreon.com Janeheath. All for $5 a month.

[01:14:53]

That's right, baby. All right, let's jump into it.

[01:14:55]

Perfect. All right.

[01:14:56]

Boom.

[01:14:56]

Ciao.

[01:14:56]

We'll see you in a sec. Ciao.