I'm fucking tired.

It's the first time I've left my house in three days.

Oh, really? Wait, the last time you left your house was for this room? For this. What are you doing?

Dude, I've been sick as a fucking dog. Oh, really? Yeah.

What did you get?

I don't know. I think it was the flu.

Everyone's been really sick in the past week or two.

Yeah, I got home early, early Sunday. So it's been three days, but I just started feeling it in my bones. When you know that feeling like, you know that feeling I think I'm about to get sick. It's not a hangover sick. It's like, Shit is about to go down. Your bones feel like lead.

I get that, but then I also get this weird sunburn feeling. When you get a... Like a hot flash? Kind of like that. I just feel incredibly sunburn right before I get sick.

I feel it in my face whenever I get sick. For me, it's in my bones. I get that shiver. Immediately, I know I'm about to get sick. I run downstairs and start popping, so I came just...

I was going to I'm like, You know the giddiness that you have when you're just going to bed in general? But when you're sick, you're just like, You're like, I'm not going to make it through the winter. I was like, This is terrible. Then you get that first fever dream When you're sick, you're having a dream that you've never even-Fever dream.

I've never-When you're suddenly you're in hot sweats, you're at your peak of a flu, and you're sleeping, and you're having a full-on fever dream, that's the worst.

You wake up just soaked. I hate that.

I was drenched. I'm trying to make it as cold as possible. Patricia's like, It's a fucking igloo, but I'm sweating my butt off. I have no problem with it. It ain't cold enough.

I actually just bought myself an ice blanket from TikTok shop. An ice blanket? It's exactly what it sounds like.

Not an ad. Not an ad.

I'm curious. It's cold. It's a cold blanket, and it just stays cold. And so what it does, it keeps you cool. And then throughout the night, if you want it to... It will stay cold until you fall asleep.

Do you freeze it? What is it?

No, it's just a cold blanket.

It's cold. But what's in it? Is there cool in it?

I don't know, but it works.

It's got a radiator.

But I have no idea.

You have to put it into the freezer every night. You get it out.

It's this thing, it's this. I was like, I was like, Sweat my ass. I'm like, Who knows something that can be cool at night? Everyone's like, Ice blanket.

Another good thing that a lot of people use the little fan thing. You slide up to the foot of your bed and it just tucks up on top of your mattress and you fold your sheet over it and it just blows ice cold air up your legs.

There's something about those air because I have one. It's like the Dyson, the one that's shaped like an oval.

You don't have the foot one at the end.

No, not that one. But there's something about those where I feel like it's circulating the same air and it's not really cooling me off. It's just blowing air. It's like a fan. I need something that's blowing cold air.

Dyson, you have to get there. There's a cooling one, specifically.

Yeah, there's a pure cool.

It's the Dyson pure cool. I have one of those.

I need to get that one because it's just not-When you update, it's the best when you get a new filter in it.

You take out the old one that you've been like, damn. You're getting it nice and fresh. Love that feeling. I like a little bit of circulation in the room, too. After a while, I'm like-It feels like you're breathing in the same air, like the same air is blowing out. I just woke up and I couldn't move. It's the worst when you get sick. It's your Sunday, you're planning out your week, you're like, I'm going to do all these things, take on the week, and it's like, no, you start the week sick.

When you're sick, what are the main things that you're eating that you just think just works?Celery.Pasina.Pasina, shut up.Pasina.

Is the only thing that cures.

It's It's pasta. No, it's really tiny pasta. It's pastina.

Stop.

It's magic.

Oh, wait. Speaking of Tina, can I talk about my tattoo really quick?

We have to run the intro, by the way. It's been like, okay, but I want to hear it.

I want to hear it. Let's roll the intro and then we'll get to my... It's CavaTal, baby. Run it. This is so embarrassing. He said, no team. Hey, we still here. We got it. We don't need anybody. We don't need nobody when we got us. Everyone in the comments, Can you all just hire me to work the soundboard?

The gang's all here.

As you guys know, as always, this episode is sponsored by the best energy drink in the entire world, baby. Accelerator.

Oh, and big shout out to everybody who bought the Accelerator starter packs from the last episode. We see you getting that energy up, baby, with zero sugar and enhanced focus.

Oh, and catch this for all of our health freaks out there, baby. It's only 10 calories a can.

What? I'm going to tell you right now, Cherry ice pop just took the spot. Number one flavor for me.

The thing is, it was my number one flavor, and he took that. He knows that this is my favorite flavor, and so he didn't need to do that.

I just found it. I I'm the one that put him on.

This is actually one of the two new flavors they just came out with. The other one is Tropical Punch, and it's so good. The other two flavors that you guys should check out also is Peach Paradise.

Rocketpop. Rocketpop is another banger.

So good. I like to drink one of these every day before a workout, and it gives me just the perfect amount of energy that I need to get through that workout, baby.

It's honestly great anytime, whether you're working out in the morning or you need a little afternoon, pick me up. We also have another deal going right now. Right now, if you go to drinkaccelerator. Com, you're going to get $5 off any 12-pack with code zh unfiltered5.

Again, that's drinkaccelerator. Com, and that's going to be $5 off any 12-pack with zh unfiltered5 as the code.

That's right, baby. Make sure to check it out right now.

Thank you, Accelerator. Let's get back to the episode. Welcome back to Zane and HeathUnfiltered. I'm Zane. I'm Heath.

I'm Matt. I'm Mariah.

And you're here for another Tuesday, Monday episode. Thank you so much for coming back. Mariah.

You're welcome. Take the lead.

I got another tattoo.

I'm on a kick right I got a cursive letter T for my mom, Tina. She doesn't know about it yet. So I got this cursive letter T.

Is she going to find out from this episode?

No, I'm seeing her tomorrow.

I think you should keep it a secret.

But I got this T, and I was iffy I got the T because I wanted it in cursive because a regular T is dumb. So I wanted it in cursive, but cursive letters are tricky because they look like other letters. This looks like a J, but that's a cursive T. So I was like, You know what? It's all right. It's a T to me. That's all that matters.

I saw T instantly when I saw it, though. Oh, good.

I haven't seen it yet. Can you see it?

Yeah, T. Okay, perfect. It doesn't look like a J. So it's cursive T from my mother. And as soon as I got it done, I'm going to act like I'm going to act like I planned this on purpose. See the T? Look what happens when I bend my arm. Can you see it? Yeah. Oh, wow.

It turns into a heart.

How Did you mean to do that?

Yes. No, I didn't. Really? I went like this to look at it, and I was like, damn.

You're an angel sent down from a tattoo. You know that?

Does your mom like the tattoos? No. Oh, no. Are you kidding? Where it's like, you do all your siblings' impressions of how you think your mom's going to react. That's really good. Then you finally, finally film it. She's like, oh my God.

We do that all the time without filming it, and we're spot. We know her inside and out.

You're getting yours removed.

Yeah, I'm in the process.

Oh, you guys are like...

Out the door, another one in.

I'm just giving them to her.

You're being a teenage angst right now. You are coming in since.

I never went through that phase. I'm going through it now. All right.

I'm yet it up. My grandparents texted me all excited that I'm getting them removed. We are so proud of you. Really? Yeah.

Is this the first time you've ever had a tattoo removed? Or have you had other ones removed? No, it's the first time. You already got your first treatment done?

Yeah, but it takes 10.

Have you had a tattoo removed?

No, I didn't.

Covered up.

He does, though. He's acting like he's upset. Our best friend tattoos.

He already covered his.

We already had this conversation, but I did not get it covered. It's in the other tattoo.

Oh, okay.

It's in the middle of my mom's sunflower.

It's okay, guys. Beat that, ever. You know what, though? It's your body.

You can do what you want. Those are memories.

You can't even see what this says.

Those are memories.

It looks worse than It looks like you were branded. It means something to me.

Branding. Matt, it was branding at the time. It really was.

So getting the procedure of it removed What is that sensation like? Because I always see videos of it, and it's like... It sucks. Is it burning it? It's very like just the top layer skin. Does it get further? Because you have to do multiple treatments on it.

It's like burning it through into the ink, and what it does is it...

It picks up the pigment, right?

Yeah, it lasers it super hard, and it tries to break apart the ink inside of it. Then your body starts eating and trying to dissolve and work the little broken particles out of your system.

It doesn't look painful at all. When I saw the video of you doing it, it didn't look that bad.

It feels like they always describe it this way, but it's true. It feels like a rubber band's happening.

A hot rubber band's just pop, pop, pop.

Oh, really quick.

It's going like this.

It's Did they do a pre-scan of the shape of the tattoo before they go in with the laser?

Because it seems like very exact and on point. No, they're free-balling it.

They're free-hand tracing over top of it. They're just holding it and they're going like this and going over the thing.

Does it piss you off when they miss a spot? Because I see that they're going down and they miss a few spots and they have to go and get those.

Not really, because the individual little laser blasts aren't bad. It's when sitting in the same spot. My leg was like this.

I was over it.

Just getting that good, right?

What's annoying is I went into it thinking, I was like, All right, I'm going to get them lasered off. I didn't think it was going to be 10 sessions, but I was also like, I'll just bang it out real quick because I wanted to get this removed before our wedding because I was like, I didn't want to be sitting up there holding hands. I got deal written on my hand.

Not only are you going to take my best friend, but you took our tattoos too, bitch. No, you know what? Take everything from me. What else are you going to take?

Scott was really upset when he saw us getting this removed because he has no deal. Remember we got it together?

It was just the worst tattoo. Oh my gosh.

He was like, Oh, you're removing them? I was like, Oh.

We're just letting our past go.

But what sucks is I thought I was going to bang it out in a month, two months.

Over how many? Ten sessions?

How many did you say?

Ten sessions I probably have to do. Ten sessions over the course of a month.

Come to find out, you have to wait two months between sessions. What? Isn't that crazy?

I don't think you got to wait two months. That's a It's an easy amount of heal time.

Because the skin has to heal.

What's going on? It's your body breaking it down. It lasers it, and then it takes your body two months to start breaking it down. Oh, damn. Then it hits it again, and then you start.

It's pretty much the same thing as laser hair removal. Because I was describing to him what I go through with laser hair, and it's the exact same thing.

It feels like that, too, on your-I think it's got to be the same tool.

I got to ask brook because she does laser hair removal.

People can do laser hair removal at home now.

You see those No way.

Yeah, there's a little device. It's like 200 bucks for a good one.

And the girls are doing it over here.

They're laser. Oh, guys can do it? You do it at home. I'm so curious to what it's like because Patricia has to get wax all the time, and I'm like-I would not wax. Absolutely not. If you get laser hair removal, that saves so much. You just do it one time. Well, you have to do sessions as well.

Yeah, same thing. You have to wait five weeks in between.

Yeah, but the amount of money you'll spend on waxing and all of that in the future.

That's I think. Was it you that got it on somewhere and you saw bruising? Or was that someone else?

I don't go there anymore. Okay. And I went to... Call them out. I go to this new person.

We can't. We're so on phone.

I go to this new person and they confirmed that they messed up. They did?

Okay. I think I... So there's a spot on my beard that hair always grows, and it sucks because when I shave it off, it looks dirty. Laser it. It's right on my cheek right here. I never-Oh, like a pigmentation problem?

No, no, no.

I grow hair on my cheek, high on my cheek, next to my nose. And every time I shave it, it just doesn't... It looks dirty because my pores look bit... That was my problem. All of our pores are big over here, but when you have hair growing through there, it shows as black dots for me. It just looks dirty. I just want to laser that off so it just looks clean.

That was my biggest problem. I'll shave and it still looks dark because my hair's dark. She's Italian. You can see Even though there was no hair, you can't feel it, you can see it under the skin. My legs, you can't see-Oh, my eyes. You can't see anything. I haven't lasered my legs. Every body part seems different. I haven't lasered my legs in over a year, haven't touched them, and there's nothing.

And that's from the laser?

That's from the laser. But my underarms are bad. I haven't gone in a year. I need to go back for that. But it's like, I've been doing my underarms longer. Let it grow out. You think?

Braid it. Yeah.

Yeah. A punk rock.

My My body hair just gives me anxiety. I don't want it on me.

And you just have dark hair, too. So it just shows really easily.

It's such a strange thing, body hair. Everyone has so many different types. Some people want it, some people want it gone. It grows in places you don't want it, and it won't grow in places where you're really-You know what's been going crazy for me lately?

So I got chest hair, I think. I'm not joking, in seventh grade. I had chest hair really, really young, and I always looked at my dad, and his My back was covered with hair.

Mine, too.

I was like, I don't think I'll ever have back hair. I went all through college, no back hair. Out here, I maybe had a couple long ones. In the last year, my back has been filling in. Can I see it? I just had her shave it because I was like, This is so bad.

I catch mine in the sunlight. I'll be in front of a mirror and the sun is coming through, and I'm like, I go, What the hell is that? You have these long ones that have been like, Matt, and They're so long.

It's like, that wasn't there a week ago. Why the hell is my hair not growing as fast as my back hair?Strange.You know what I mean?

Also ear hair.

I haven't even thought about that.

My dad's is like caterpillars.

Oh, gosh. I hate how society's made us look at hair, too. To me, hair just looks like it means you're dirty. Every time I see hair, and I hate it, it's just my brain. Whenever I see hair on my...

Like, lower back?

Lower I feel disgusted because it'll grow in. I'm Arab, so it'll grow in really, really heavy right here.

Losey, losey, losey.

It's not there.

Do you get a wax or you shave it yourself? I just use clippers. I don't want to have it, but not foam and razor, but just a little…

No, I don't like shaving. It cuts and I get rashes.

I don't want to know if I have any back.

My back-Oh, man, let's see.

It's fucking…

My back.

It's the greatest little rat tail.

My back is none of my business.

For some reason, arm pain hair, when I look, I feel like I need it. If I have no arm pain hair, it doesn't look right.

There's some guys who can rock chest hair, and it actually looks good. It looks proportional to their body. Who?

Mike Sheffer?

I don't think he rocks.

No, you're right. You know who has really good chest hair? Every time I say, I'm like, That's some good... Joe Wagner? Yeah. Have you ever seen Joe Wagner? It's just clean. It looks like he goes to a salon and gets it like the His hair grows really straight.

Mine?

The straight hair is what makes it look nice and you take care of yourself. But that...

When it gets curly. It's always heavy on this side, lighter on that side. I hate nipple hair. I'm like, get that out of there.

Do you guys mess with Nair? I've never-I haven't done nothing. I'm so scared to try it. I feel like that's got to be terrible for you.

That was the first thing I tried outside of shaving when I was in high school, and it burned the hell out of me. And then my Mom does it for my dad's back, but it works really well, but it stinks. It is the worst smell on planet Earth.

Can you describe the smell? Because I've used it on my back before, and it doesn't burn or anything, but the smell.

Just sour chemicals. Oh, really? It claims to have a scent, and you're like, No, it's really bad.

It's not good.

I don't prefer to use that, but it does work really well for people. Yeah.

Does it eventually, over time, make you stop growing hair like a laser would? I don't think so. It just is like a wax.

It's like wax, yeah.

When I buzzed my hair the first, I remember I got my hair buzzed, short, short. My hair never grew back the same, and that's why I got that hair turn. Really? Because remember how... It was back, but it was luscious. So it was luscious from here back. But when I cut that hair for the first... I think because there's something happened in my autonomy up here where it just hair has just stopped growing.

You can say that again.

Autonomy? Like your anatomy?

No, autonomy. Look it up.

No, you were right, Zane. The right or condition of self-government.

Shit. There should be a Zane Dictionary for words that I think it means.

A zictionary.

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this podcast, Seageeck.

As you guys know, we just got back from Coachella Festival, and we use Seageeck to get our tickets.

And with over 28 million downloads, Seageeck is the number one rated ticketing app out there.

There are more than 70,000 events every single day on Seageeck, including concerts, festivals like Coachella, and much, much more.

That's right, baby. We got artists like Drake, Jonas Brothers, Post Malone, and the 1975 all on tour right now, and you don't want to miss it.

I love the way Seageek does it. They put all the tickets across the web in one place to make sure you're getting a good deal. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so look for the green dots. Green means good and red means not so good.

Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee, and Seageek is the only site that lets you return your tickets ahead of the event with swaps.

Don't you worry, guys, we came through with a hookup. Make sure to use our code unfiltered for $20 off tickets at Seageek.

That's $20 off your first purchase with promo code unfiltered. Make sure to click the link in the description to download the app.

Thank you Seageek for sponsoring today's episode. We love you.

I heard the craziest thing on the news the other day, and I have to share it. Did you guys hear about the church pastor that just got busted?

Yes.

And arrested? Mm-hmm. He stole $40,000 from the church donations and blew it all on Candy Crush. Oh, no.

Fucking kinks you right there. That's what I'm talking about, dude. Candy Crush. Say Amen. Amen to that, brother. Amen.

Is that absurd?

Candy Crush. First of all, how do you get caught? They had to audit the whole thing and just see it.

A pencil? Wow. Right. Close to home.

Oh, snap.

Allegedly spent the funds on Wizard of Oz Slots, Candy Crush saga.

He must have been on a high… It's terrible, but the high in justification he was on where he was like, I'm taking the church money. This is going to be good. Hear me out.

I would have had a little bit more respect if he was doing it and gambling it because I could understand being like, I could win big. I can win big. I'm using this money that God brought me through this church.

Wait, so he's trying to get the church donations to have more money, or is this for him?

Well, I'm saying I would understand if he used it and was addicted and he was trying to make the money back for the church and it was a gambling thing, but it was just candy crush.

No, it's just slot machines and Gambling in the title in the beginning.

No, but Wizard of Oz Slot.

It goes in Slot Games, according to authorities. I think it's right underneath the headline, too, the big headline.

You see those videos of people winning all that money on Slot?

But then also it says, Wait, authorities say that he was not gambling. Scroll up just a little bit. Kodak allegedly told authorities that he was not gambling, but powering up.

Powering up.

I am leveling up myself to the Lord. Damn.

Power up to Jesus Christ.

He also bought his goddaughter, what did that say? Amazon Fire Tablet. A chemistry set.

That's actually really sweet. He's in the confessional booths on the other side. They're like, Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. He's just like, Mm-hmm. Okay. You need to go home.

I'm in the confessional with the reason, I'm just like, I was about to say your honor. Father. Father, I've committed a sin. I've used $5,000 of my family's money on Candy Crush because that's true. I did. And he would just be like, Hey, I'm not going to lie to you.

You think you got it bad?

I sold $40,000 out of the church donations. I'm sorry.

He looks at you like, Step it up. Those are rookie numbers, maybe 40K over here.

He's like, Go home and do seven jelly beans in a row. I mean, Haymarries, Haymarries in a row. Haymarries. Haymarries in a row. Seven Haymarries in a row, not jelly beans. That's good.

Hey, man, everybody can be bad. It don't matter what position you're in.

You know when you're addicted to a game, even when you're just zoning out, you're still thinking of the game. If you play a lot of Tetris, you're seeing Tetris everywhere. You know he was up in mass just looking at the whole- The rows of seats are like, He's looking at the rows of all the numbers.

He's matching the outfit colors in the crowd.

He's lining up the altar boy. He's like, Okay, actually, you're the same color.

Could you go sit over there?

How were they able to find out that it was those games?

I want to know how they caught it.

I bet it doesn't not say it on your bank statement?

Yes. Oh, you think it? Yeah, it was probably the-It went that deep or he got brought in and then they were just, Where did the-Yeah, he took $40,000.

They need to trace where did the money go.

You know he was sitting there like...

Look, I could see him putting the $40,000 on rent, but then they see other charges are with Candy Crush, so they're like, Oh, we're just going to hit the Candy Crush because it's going to do it better on the headlines.

It might have been like five bucks on Candy Crush. Exactly.

He probably saw a little bit of money go to Candy Crush. They're like, Look where he spent it.

Candy Crush does make the headline thing to spend it all Do you think Candy Crush was like, put us on the headlines.

Hey, we'll pay off the debt and get the story.

It's not hush money. It's crush money.

You know everybody in the office was just loving this shit.

Father O'Malley did what?

Damn, you know they're not getting any donations for a long time after that.

The baskets coming by and they're like, this better be good.

They start putting actual candy in it as a joke.

You're looking right at the person, basically like, The older people?

Oh, yeah.

The passive aggressive, like, You have to be careful.

But they have to know. They have to completely replace the priest, though, at this church, right?

Yeah, because he's in jail.

Do you think the new priest is going to make a joke out of it the first Mass? Like, he has to, right?

Yeah. It gives a sermon on- I know some of you are crushed.

And they're all like, The soft laugh. Yeah. And you know, everybody- Bow your heads. Let's pray for- Everybody went to Mass that day. Normally, it's probably just 200 people. No. 5,000. The whole community showed up.

This church's attendance is- Mariah, I just realized, tell your cousin not to use a blow dryer or anything in the bathroom because-It'll shut this set. I'll tell them because they might do it.

It'll shut this shit down.

Oh, shit.

I need to tell them that. Our room is connected to the guest room, and her cousins are in there right now. Hey.

Hey. What are you doing? Coming to the podcast. Just so you know, do not use a blow dryer yet until we're done filming because it'll shut down the room.

In that room.

Because Zane doesn't have enough money.

Good thing I was just about to use one.

Oh, good.

Yeah, do not because this room is connected to your room, so don't touch anything. Okay, I have my charger plugged in, so I'm plugged in.

You're good on the charger.

You also didn't lay on the bed yet, did you?

Your feet aren't on the floor, right? Because that static will pick up.

No calls from that room. Okay, talk to you later.

All right, bye-bye.

I snapped at a stranger the other day. You did? Yeah. We were at the movie theater and we were seeing Civil War. How was it? It was very good, but I went in thinking it was going to be a whole different film than what I thought, so I was a little disappointed. It felt like The Last Of Us. The whole time. You're like, This It was deep and beautiful, but I wanted a little bit more B-Movie action plot thing. It was very pretty. Just wanted to know. But there was a guy in the movie theater who was just given his commentary, talking out loud, going, Oh, come on.

He was responding to people's lines before they would say it.

I was like, This guy is fucking drunk, or he's just stoned out of his mind. It was pissing me off the whole movie. Right when it ended, Patricia and I, we had to get out of there. I'm the second person out of the movie theater because he's the first guy.

You did not do it after the movie, Matt.

You do it in the moment, not after it's done. You crazy maniac. I'm back, I'm back, bro. I'm back, bro. He's way all the way down there. It's a big theater. I wasn't going to be like, I want to hit it over everybody. I didn't want to be like... That's good. I should have, but I'm not a person to just add even more tension to the room.

You would have got last time.

I would have been I'm like, I'm a nerd clusters. I'm just fucking done.

People would have cheered you on. You would have been the hero.

You would have got the whole...

I just think in the etiquette of a theater, don't add just to the heckling or don't... I don't know. I just don't want to add...

Did he seem crazy? Do you think he would have fought with you if you said something during the movie?

During the movie, no. It's just, once again, I'm so far away. I'm not going to have impact on that.

So it ended and then you hocked him down. What happened?

I hocked him down, but I'm trying to get a good look at the motherfucker because I couldn't fucking believe that he was just talking that aggressively. Even there was a guy who may have been the custodian or the worker that comes in and cleans up the popcorn. I thought in the beginning, someone had already complained and that they were going to escort him out. Then that guy didn't do anything. I'm following this dude because I'm like, I got to get a good look at him in the eye. Is he mentally ill? Maybe I'm having a bad judgment of this person. This guy is just shouting down the hallway, saying, How bad of a it was. To himself? He had a friend with him, but his friend also, his friend wasn't like, Dude, shut up. You're being absolutely ridiculous right now. Because he was shouting out a lot. I gave him a look because I'm like, Whatever. I keep walking, and then we're exiting, leaving the ticket, little check-in station. He goes, Did you guys really like that movie? No. He says that to Patricia and I, and I go, Well, we sure liked your commentary at the entire time.

Patricia looks at me and is like, What the fuck? And he goes, But we just keep on walking. He goes, Oh. Did you hear that? Shouting back to his friend. He goes, He loved my commentary. Well, you guys better come back next week. And I'm like, and I just kept walking.

So he didn't catch that?

No, he caught it.

No, I'm saying he wasn't aware that you were being-Oh, no, he did know.

I was.Oh, he did?Yes, he did. And that was a little like, it's a fucking stranger. The guy could have a knife on him and just like, stab me. But I was just like, I had to think quick because it did piss me off. And I didn't seek him out to say it. I'm just like, I'm going to walk past this guy and he volied it up and I go, Yeah, really liked your commentary the entire time. Come on, babe.

I think that was a perfect response to that. I thought you said something without any...

But he came to you. He set it up. He goes, Did you really like that movie? I go, Well, he sure liked your the entire time. Period. Patricia was still like, What the fuck? You can't just fucking say that. I'm like, I know. I don't know why I said it. I just like, run, babe, run. I had this just moment where my heart was pounding and I was just like, I have to fucking say something. The whole time we're walking, I'm like, God, he's going to follow us into the parking lot. Patricia was like, You can't just respond to people like that. You don't know if that... I'm like, I know. Then after we were just laughing together, we were like, I really liked your commentary. Patricia and I just kept saying it throughout the rest of the night.

I was about to say Patricia loved that shit. She bit her lip when she heard that shit. She was like, Oh, my man. My man got some big balls.

It was just such a perfect like, Sure like your commentary.

I just felt so alive. Which is still silly and insignificant, but like…

Did he look dirty? Yeah.

Okay. A little dirty, not a homeless or anything.

No, you know what I mean by just dirty.

Just look maybe like your unemployed best friend who plays a lot of video games.

He had nothing better to do. Yeah. He thinks his hobbies and his free time is probably to go to these movies and do that shit and just bother everybody. That's like, he loves.

Where do you get all that? It's all he does. Clearly there. If that's to cause that much disruption. I had to tell myself he must be just not mentally right if he thinks that's okay, or he was just very drunk and selfish, or just genuinely an evil, crazy person.

Yeah, I think that was what it was.

I think he should be on some list to not… That was my movie here, and I saw that.

Yeah, you could have said something.

He'd be on my…

If the exit was on my side of the theater, I think I would have actually left and pointed him out. But because I didn't want to go down and walk a cross with this screen behind me, eyeballing him, then bringing the guy back and be like, him, and then me going back to my seat. That's funny.

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Betterhelp.

As you know, we're in a stressful time right now. We all like to carry that around us, whether it's big or small. When we keep them bottled up, it can start to affect us negatively.

But just know that therapy is a safe space to get things off your chest and to figure out how to work through whatever's weighing you down.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give Betterhelp a try. It's entirely online and designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

Plus, it's super simple. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you could switch therapists at any time for no No additional charge.

What I love about Betterhelp is that it's so simple. You don't have to go to an office, sit there in a waiting room, wait to be taken care by a therapist. You could do it in the comfort of your own home. It's just nice to talk to somebody that's going to be completely unbiased and give you actual professional advice instead of talking to a friend or a close loved one or your parents or anything like that. It's just good to talk to a real therapist.

If you're ready to get things off your chest with Betterhelp, all you have to do is visit betterhelp. Com/zeanandheath today, and you're going to get 10% off your first month.

Exactly. Again, that's betterhelp, h-e-l-p. Com/zeanandheath.

Thank you so much, Betterhelp, for sponsoring this podcast. We love you so much. Thanks for taking care of us and everybody watching.

Speaking of movies, I watched Monkey Man. That kicks ass, right? I haven't finished it. I still have 30 minutes left. It is amazing. Keith, Mariah, you have to see this movie. It's unlike any movie I've ever seen. The fact that it's all shot in India. Is that shot in India? In India, it felt like I was watching an Indian movie, but it's all in English. But it's just so beautifully shot and beautifully done.

No, it's like action. It's like a John Wick.

It's like John Wick. I love how they-Dev Patel directed it, too, which is even cooler.

This is not what everybody's posting online of the Monkeys on the Horses, is it?

No. No. Monkeys on the Horses. I think there's a new Planet of the Apes movie coming out, so they're promoting it.

Kingdom of the Apes.

I I love those movies.

Planet of the Apes? Yeah.

You don't like those movies? I love. They just do such a good job with it.

I thought it was this.

No. So Monkey Man, he just has a mask, a monkey mask that he wears when he fights.

Is he a monkey? No.

He's like a daytime or nighttime fighter, and he's known as the monkey. But he also-It's a mask that he puts on? A mask he puts on. But there's also a story. It's really beautifully done.

He keeps you under the edge of your seat, for sure. It's awesome.

When we got invited to a screening for it where Dev Patel got to walk out the entire casted, too. And majority of the audience, I would say 80% of the people in there were Indian. Oh, really? We're friends and big friends and family of the cast. And it was so cool seeing that audience watch that movie and seeing how much they erupted over how great it was and how proud they were of Dev Patel. It was pretty fucking cool.

Because as you know, I've watched Indian movies in the past. When I was younger, I'd watch all the big Indian movies and just certain details in this movie that they brought in because it's a very Americanized movie, but it's shot in India. But just certain scenes that it just made me think of.

Got it. Pulled inspiration.

It's pulled inspiration from-They're paying homage to it. I thought that was really sick. Just kept it to the Indian movie filmmaking style. It was Absolutely.

You should get a letter box. Kill it. You should just rate things and give your two cents on it.

Imagine how I'd write about movies. This was so good. I loved it. I just wanted to be able to- You could just do it in emojis.

You could just be like, it's not a review, but you could also write just a funny line of what you think about it.

I can't do that. I don't think I would be able to do that.

You think you could just rate it?

There's a trend where people are doing silent reviews, and it's the funniest thing. It's more like my speed. People will show their favorite books, perfumes, movies, and they'll show it, and they'll go...

I've never seen any of those.

It's pretty good. You would love to see.

I think I could do that.

You should do a movie and be like... Or like...

That's cool. It's a popular trend.

They're not mute, right? No, yeah.

It's just like... It's a silent review. So they don't say any words. Wow. It's really cool.

I blow up. I just...

You should try it. Because you'll be really animated with your face, and you don't even have to speak. There's no stutter. You stutter somehow doing it.

I would like to do a podcast where I don't have to speak. I could just...

I would watch it. I need visuals. That's all I need.

There you have it.

You're all right?

Where you Are you apart? No, I just don't feel good.

Are you on any pills or medicine?

Advil. Maybe some day cool I took earlier.

I try to avoid the day cool night cool now. Because I feel like it doesn't really do anything. I think it's a temporary fix in the moment. I feel great for 5, 10 minutes after. I take them like, yeah, but then I feel like it doesn't do anything.

Night cool does help me have a steadier night's sleep being sick. Or night cool? Yeah, because I'll be sick, but I'm able to sleep the entire night. Rather, if I'm just raw dogging it, being sick, trying to go to sleep, you're up, you're down, you're just like, I'd rather just close my eyes, be asleep the whole time and then wake up. Have you seen the Challenges movie?

No, but I've been seeing everybody talk about it, so I can't wait to see it.

Zane, it's so fucking good. I did a double feature. I went and saw Civil War and Challenges.

I used to love doing that. Me and my family would go see multiple movies at one time.

Amc Pass is the best. It's so nice. You get three movies for a week.

It's crazy how cheap it is. It's great. For the amount of movies you can watch?

Without telling me the movie and spoiling it-Do a silent review. Let's hear it. No, wait. Is it exactly what we think it is when we're watching it?

Let's give you the silent review.For Challenges?Yeah.

Oh, it's...

Okay. That's my review for it.

That's good.

For the people listening, I lit a cigarette Let me fix it. Was her hair and all my T-shirt.

She really comes out of her shell in this one.

Zinteya? I feel like she's already a pretty skilled actress, and we can see her.

I'm not talking about her acting skills. I'm just saying her character.

Coming out of the shell with her character.

You know her character is pretty, I would say... It seems very promiscuous in this movie. You don't really see that in her other movies that she's in.

She's a very high-focused tennis professional.

Yeah, she seems…

Pretty kinky.

It's very kinky then. It's kinkier than we think.

Oh, my gosh. She gets... I don't She pushes it.

Okay, that's what I was wondering.

It's pretty naughty. It's kinky and naughty.

And it's a kid's movie?

No.

It's a-It's rated PG.

It's the same director from Call Me By Your Name, Bones and All.

I have never seen any of those. Oh, dude.

I mean, he's one of... Luca is one of the best directors out right now.

What's happening?

There was a shaving thing. Remember, like shaving commercials? Back to shaving. Remember as a kid, you would watch shaving commercials and you thought, Oh, when I'm a man and I get older, after I shave my face, my wife is instantly going to come up from behind me and be like… It's this whole sexual invitation in men's shaving commercials where the girl would just come up behind.

Can't get the hands. Yeah.

Wasn't it like Nibia?

Yeah, or Gillette.

Gillette was a big one.

Barbisol. Any of those commercials, we just thought like, Oh, yeah. My wife is just going to want to be me the moment I shave my beard.

Okay. I just thought that was fun. Or like the Ax commercial, same thing. It's like the same, Oh, you put this on?

Yeah.

Yeah. Ladies will be floored.

They will be floored and just shave in the face.

That It's just something they like- Girls don't like shave face anymore. I think they like beards now, no?

I don't know. Yeah, I feel like the mustache has made it.

It's like coming back.

I prefer beard.

They're loving it. It's coming back. I think guys like hair, too.

I like that length on you.

Like shorter, stubborn-y.

Yeah.

Take a picture. It looks good. So you remember.

You could see your face. I like when it gets to your mouth.

I really want one of those extra large mustaches, though.

What do you mean? A big old handlebar mustache with wax tips? No, no.

Like Burt Arnold's mustache?

It doesn't fit you, though.

Yeah, it's because you haven't seen it.

No. What's the world looking for? I was going to say, grooming yourself. You have to be into taking care of it every single day. You're not going to want to do that.

Do you have the genetics for it? You're It's not like a burly man. I think they just grow it really long and just cover the whole lip.

That's when they get that really...

You love that, huh? And then they talk and it's like...

And then the food gets stuck in it.

Did you see the food? Shit, I had a funny joke.

What?

I was just a… It's like what? I was going to say, and you talk and it's like a post-it note.

It's just flipping up.

That's nice. I laughed.

Or not.

I'm done.

Go for it. Anything's possible if you set your mind.

No, I can't.

He keeps watching those guys who does like, They get ready with me. I know what he's watching. That's exactly what it is. I know what he's watching.

He'll order a new pair of pants. I'm like, I know he just watched someone get ready in the morning.

You saw somebody in those.

Somebody's got ready.

They're going to get ready with me. He'd stop watching that guy with an ax. I I know you keep watching those videos. I know you want to be like...

I don't watch him.

I study him.

You watch Dallyboy.

You like Dallyboy?

I love him. I love Dallyboy. I haven't seen his stuff in a while, but yeah, he's really good. He was just at Stage Coach. Was he?

Stage Coach looked really fun this Do not. Get the fuck out. No, I'm saying, seeing the content, it looked really fun, but I know if I was there, I'd be like, Oh, get me out of here.

I truly think you would have fun.

He's been. He just doesn't like it.

I've been before. Oh, you have? Yeah.

Oh, I think it's a blast.

Why did you tell him to get the fuck out?

Because I tell him all the time, I don't want to do stage quotes.

Then he's going to come in here and be like, Stage quotes look really good this year.

Patricia was crushed because she got a big brand deal trip to go out and stay in a house for some Western We couldn't go because we had a fucking wedding to go to. It was devastating. It's so fun.

Is every wedding that you go to, are you close enough where you feel like you have to go, or is it really disrespectful?

Yeah. We should go, especially this close out, too, from it. I mean, if it was a crazy amount of money, too, we'd be like, Okay, well, we cannot go to the wedding at all anymore. But we're not going to be just like, That sounds more fun to do than go to pay respect of someone who came to your wedding.

Oh, every wedding you're going to, they came to your wedding, too? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's also a good thing.

I forget that you have to go to the people that came to yours.

Yeah.

Have you ever been to a wedding or have you ever been invited to a wedding that you didn't go to? Like you said no to?

Yeah, all the time. Oh, really? Yeah, I get invited to tons of weddings that I cannot make. It's like you have to plan out your year.

I got invited to a wedding, I was like, I just can't.

Yeah, but usually if they came to my wedding, I'm going to do my best to go to theirs.

Yeah, that makes sense. I didn't think about that when I...

Oh, I saw J-Waouh. Where? At the wedding. I did. I did. I saw her. It was good to see her. Did you talk to her? No, I didn't. I saw her while we were all sitting there as everyone was going down the aisle. I'm like, Oh, my God, J, wow. She was sitting next to Josh Paak. Then I forgot to clock her where she was at the entire night because I don't know. It was still a big wedding.

Cool.

Mariah, look at that. She was there. She was there with her husband. I met Jojo Seawal. Oh, you did? Yeah, I got a picture.

Jojo Seawal was there?

Yeah, Jojo Seawal was there. I thought you've already met her.

Well, when I went up to her, I'm like, We've never met before. She's like, We haven't? And I'm like, No, we haven't. She's like, I know who you are.

I thought we both met her at the same time.

We were at Bitcoin. You said when she shook your hand, I was not there. You came and told me minutes after it happened. I wasn't there.

Did her music play at all during the wedding?

No. She was dancing so well.

Are you kidding I would have been like, Play this song.

She was cutting a rock in the dance floor.

I don't feel like karma. No, I don't think there was a karma moment. I don't think so.

That's crazy. I would have made it happen. I'd been like, DJ, spin that shit. Karma's a bitch.

You know how In today's age, we can go up to a DJ and be like, Hey, play this song.

Yes.

But in old movies, they go up to the DJ with a CD or the album or a cassette. Was that a real thing?

They go, Number 5.

Yes. Was that a real thing where you go up to DJ at something and you give them a cassette?

I think it was possible. It was possible to do that and people would occasionally do it. How were they able to- But I don't think you would get 20 different tapes and CDs from people in the same night.

I want to see the video of the first DJed party. I need to see it.

Where were we where we saw a DJ, but was DJing vinyls?

Oh, we were in Arizona. It's the craziest thing. At that bar, that was the coolest ever.

Now it's just the turntable, but it's not an actual record.

When I was up there with an underwear on my head?

No, it was like a...

I don't want to talk about it.

It was that trip, but somewhere else. They had the actual record spinning, and we're scratching the real... It was so cool. That's insane.

It's really fucking badass. Because I think it's a truest art form. That's where this jockey came from, where people who had to play and set it all up like that. It's really cool.

How are people so talented?

It's amazing. Cumans are fucking awesome, man. They really are.

I want to be a press play DJ.

What are your useless talents?

Give me a second. Let me think on it because I feel like I have quite a few. I can do this. To fold it in half. I can do the clover.

I can do this.

Damn.

Wait.

No, that has some percussion. Oh. I can do... Or he can do that.

Yes. I remember being so jealous.

That's so cool. I can fart on command. Now. Hit it.

Oh, my God. Wait, I did not think.

It's a crazy thing I can do. Again. Again.

More, more, more. Part of my way.

That was crazy. That is pretty impressive.

I want a good one. I don't want a disgusting one that makes people run away from me.

We encouraged that.

Oh, you did? Oh, so it's not gross because you asked for it.

No, it was disgusting. Oh, again. But it's starting to make its way towards me.

Sorry for ruining the episode.

I thought it was cool.

I thought it was cute.

I thought it was cool. I I drew it in the garden. I drew it in the garden.

Toots McGee.

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Rocket Money.

Did you know that nearly 75% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about?

I did not know that.

See, before I started using Rocket Money, I I thought I had about maybe 5-7 subscriptions. I cannot believe when they showed me that I was paying over 30 subscriptions each month. Between streaming services, fitness apps, delivery services, it was never ending. That's insane.

Well, thankfully, we have Rocket Money, so you're no longer wasting money on the ones that you forgot about.

With Rocket Money, I have full control over my subscriptions and a clear view of my expenses. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, Rocket Money can help me cancel with just a few taps.

I specifically love how the dashboard shows me this month's spending compared to last month, so I can clearly see my spending habits. Plus, they'll help me create a custom budget to keep my spending on track.

Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lawyer bills for you by up to 20%. All you got to do is submit a picture of your bill, and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll even deal with customer service for you.

It's like having your own personal assistant to do the dirty work that you don't want to.

I just got a notification the other day, Rocket Money notifying me that the cost of an app going up, just randomly.

It's crazy that apps can just do that. They just jack the price up and don't even let you Why doesn't the app just tell me when that monthly price goes up?

Send me a notification. I have the right to know. That's right.

Well, at least we have Rocket Money there to watch our backs.

And get this, Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in cancel subscription, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features.

That's an absurd amount of money to be saving, so stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel those unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney. Com/ unfiltered.

Again, that's rocketmoney. Com/ unfiltered.Unfiltered..

Thank you so much, Rocket Money, for sponsoring this podcast and saving us money and all of our viewers.

Exactly. Rocketmoney. Com/ unfiltered.

What do you all want to talk about?

I got nothing else. And also, there's nothing happening that's exciting. We're to really-You want to talk about the trip you're about to go on? No, Keith, I want to wait till next podcast because I'm gone that weekend.

We could talk about how we're going to Pennsylvania, and we're going to start venue searching and planning our wedding.

How thrilling. It's going to be cool. Do you have the appointment set up of what you're going to see. No, we have nothing.

Don't ask any questions. We got nothing. That is the plan.

But yeah, we're going to make the reservations to set them all up and see them all.

It shouldn't take too long, right? I think the most important thing for you guys out there this weekend is just to look at the venue.

We're doing it in two weeks.

How many venues do you have? Do you have a top five or a top 10?

I would say a top five.

And do you think is there one that is technique? Really, you're number one that you're hoping for the best if it does work out? Not really.

We like all five. I feel like it's just going to come down to pricing. I hate that no place says on their website or anything, how much it is. You have to call and make an appointment. I wish you didn't have to call or email. If I saw the price immediately, it'd be like, yes or no? Don't Don't waste my time. Don't waste your time.

You know what? When I'm married, it's going to be a fully sponsored wedding. I don't give a shit how tacky it looks. I want brands everywhere. If that's going to cover my wedding and I don't have to pay a single dime.

You make all the guests do posts and deliverables.

All right. That's the whole thing. Everybody does.

Add it to the Google Drive, guys.

I just need to-No, but I do think a wedding day is important, but I also think it's important, too, to have a free wedding.

When you're in that position, yes.

A lot of people don't get that. Brands want to be in every wedding they can. You know what I mean? Because it's an important day. Everyone's filming weddings. Take advantage of it. No, you're... Yeah, guess jeans.

We're wearing denim.

We You have to wear denim on denim suits.

What's the coolest sponsor that you can have at a wedding that looks authentic?

Anything that helps save my groom money, I think is great. How we got black tuxedore tuxedos. None of my groomsmen have to spend any money on that.

That was an authentic way to cover costs for sure. But what's something that... When you walk in for a wedding-Food is good.

I was going to say the restaurant?

Or John and Vinnie's or something. John and Vinnie signs. Got it. Yeah, that would be crazy. That's a good authentic plug.

I think another big thing, we want the wedding venue, the actual ceremony portion, to be at the same spot as the reception.

Yeah. If you want to do an estate, it's beautiful, but you can't stay there. You got to do the shuttle back and forth. That's your option. I know as a guest, I love being at the wedding and being able to run up to my room. That's the best. You're close to everything. You don't forget anything.

Do you want it outside or inside?

Inside.

Inside.

I like indoor-outdoor where it's like you can see the outside where there's a beautiful window or if there's a glass ceiling, I want that. But definitely not outside.

And is there a reason that you're doing inside instead of outside? Weather. Oh, is it cold at that time?

No, it's just such a gamble. It could rain, and then you spend all that time in the piece of Having the peace of mind knowing that your marriage ceremony will happen in a moment where nothing can go wrong.

Even if it was nice out, bugs. Nobody wants that.

It could be a windy day. It could be like just-I'm okay with pictures outside, but have it indoors.

It's going to be air-conditioned. Everyone's going to be dancing their asses away.

Windy day is so much worse than a rainy day, I think. Windy day is horrible during a week.

And the mic just doesn't want to... Here we gather today for- The video you guys are going to have is hard.

You have to spend 20K just in audio repairs for the video.

Matt, did you end up getting your Super 8 film?For what?From the wedding?

Yes. They already posted the video. No, we posted our wedding video one. We have the entire one on Super. We can watch it for the...

Is the Super 8 one edited and a storyline with?

You know how we shot the-No, I know, but I'm saying the people, was it edited together in a storyline type, or was it a montage that we usually do?

You know when you post Super 8, though?

It's the beginning, it's the It's the day of all of us getting ready. I think it goes to our welcome party, and then it goes to the morning of, and then it's the wedding, and then it's the reception. It's all like... It's the day of the wedding weekend. Yeah, that's so cool.

It's really cool.

So cool. Those shots are sick. Starts off with be my baby.

Are you planning on posting it publicly?

Yeah, I guess so. It's just so... I don't know.

It's more personal. That one for you is more personal?

I guess so. I think it's just everyone else. You should keep it to yourself. I love it. Maybe when we hit our one year mark, we do that. It's just I like treasuring that it's my own now versus for everyone sitting there.

For my wedding day on the wedding night, I'm going to have a Kim K, Ray J style type video from my phone for our one night. Okay. And then just get it leaked.

Okay.

It's a press.

Surprise, honey. He has a vision.

Let him cook. Did you see that they're releasing a new version of the Super 8?

Yes, the one that JJ Abrams has been working on with Kodak. That is a digital one.

And it's going to have audio.

It is cool.

It's filmed, though.

It is filmed, but you're able to digitally see what's being filmed in the viewfinder. I didn't know that. I'm pretty sure there is that element. That's so sick. I think it's incredibly expensive. Probably. Which is dope. I just got to wait for a review for it to come out. I want to see like, Marcus, probably say if I should buy it before.

I know I buy shit, and I don't use it. It's very stupid, but I think that I would actually use. But I would only use it when we go on trips.

Oh, man, this day has just been so challenging. It's just not feeling very good.

When I walked in, I could tell Matt was in a little bit of a down mood, and I was like, What's going on? You see him upset, and he was like...

I I am upset, but I'm also just annoyed that it's another fucking thing that I just have to deal with. Then I'm not mad. I'm just annoyed at the situation.

Other than being sick?

Other than being sick. I'm already just down and out, just been on the couch, haven't fucking moved the majority of the day. But she comes in. She comes in, she's like, Matt. I already know what happened. What? She's like, she has in her hand this little chunk of plastic. I'm like, It's from my car. Car, and I'm like, what happened? She was like, I was pulling out of this shopping center area we were at. Just girly thing. She's like, And I thought your car usually like, beep with its sensors if you're near something. I'm like, What? And she goes, But all this just has to be popped right back into place.I.

See what you're saying.Matt told me this, I go, Can I go see it?

Then I'm like, Okay, so in my mind, I'm thinking it's something very small. Then I walk out, and she's like, Don't be mad. I'm like, I'm not. Don't like it. Let's just see it, babe. Let's see it. I love you. We'll handle anything that comes our way. No problems, only solutions. I walk out and I go, What the fuck? What the fuck? What does it look like? We should have taken a picture of it. It's bad.

It's bad. The whole rear-quarter panel got Like a caved-in dent, the door going up the rear wheel well. Wait, what did she hit, though? It's crushed in with scratches down the side.

She hit the wall, or I think one of... I don't know. How fast was she backing up?

That's the first thing that I said.

It looked like moving. I don't know.

The thing is, she's a great driver. She's never had anything like this ever happen. There are times where you just, you really forget someone's behind you and you back up full power.

I've done it before.

I've never hit. I have never, ever, ever done that.

There are times where I don't look, but I I always catch myself. I catch it before I hit the car. But I know that she forgot, and I know she pulled out.

She thought my car was high tech. She probably thought, Oh, if it hits something, it will... It'll stop. The brakes will stop before it even hits the car.

Not your car.

It's not a Tesla. And so I'm like, damn. And then she's getting mad at me for being upset about it. I go, I'm just mad. This is my expectation of what I thought I was going to see when I walked out. She said she was a failure.

The plastic piece was in her hands.

It can pop right back in. So when I hear that, I go, This ain't going to be that bad.

I know what Patricia was trying to do. What she was trying to do, she thought showing you a little piece would calm you down. And when we go out, it's like, Oh, you know what? We're good. She set you up for failure, my friend. I think I'm just pissed.

It's this other thing we have to deal with. Thankfully, we have money. It's not like this is going to affect our rent payments. We're fine, but it's just like...

And that's another one for the prosecutor.

Another one. She's mad. The thing is, I love her to death. She's frustrated at me for getting mad about getting mad. But I'm like, Can I not be angry that we have to deal with this? I'm not mad at you, my wife. What do you think in her head? I'm just like, You got to be fucking kidding me. This is just the day went this way when I'm feeling sick, too.

In her head, what do you think was her perfect reaction that you would have? Maybe it's just a car. We're good.

It doesn't even matter why. If I wasn't and feeling like shit, I may have been like, Damn it. Okay. I tried to play it out. I think she just should have been a better communicator and storyteller to prepare my expectations. She brought you the evidence.

Patricia, if you're watching this, I think next time you get into an accident or something and there's damage to the car, immediately call Matt and freak out. Freak the fuck out.

You have to be freaking out, like overly. I am so sorry. I made a huge She should have done that.

Patricia, make it like you split.

We'll just pop it in.

You split that car in half. It is in pieces across the highway.Cars.

Totaled.and then when it's not that bad, he's going to be like, Oh, babe, I thought it was going to be so much worse. You made it seem like, I know, it just...

See, that's what you got to do.

Even though that's... Some people maybe would advise against doing that, I think it definitely would have helped my reaction to reacting to it. Absolutely.

Yeah, because the way she set up was a very minor thing. Yeah. So, yeah, it could have just been...

Once again, I wasn't in a good mood, and then so it just enhanced my mood. And I'm not in funks a lot. You had the sniffles. I'm a pretty upbeat guy. I was just like, This just sucks.

I could tell my story. I'm still not over it.

She can't even look at it.

I didn't look at it for maybe five months. I had him look at it. It's really nothing.

She accidentally saw it.

What? I've never gotten into an accident, knock on wood, never hit anything, knock on wood. I'm a safe driver, very aware of my surroundings. Me too. Now I'm thinking about it, I should sue because this was not my fault. Oh, sue. We go to Erwan for the first time because I'm trying to be like everybody else.

Trying to get the beaver smoothie.

And he and I And he and I drove separate.

That's where he made the mistake.

We both... Yeah, right? He pulled into his spot. I'm a backer-inner into a spot. I'd rather back into a spot. I just feel more comfortable. I'm backing into a spot. There's no cars around. Now, there's an area of Erwan. There's the parking lot right where you drive in.

You're talking about my house?

About the Sportsman's Lodge parking lot.

Do you know the lot where you go all the way to the back?

It's always open. This whole parking lot was wide open. There was no cars around in the one spot she pulled into. Yes.

I'm backing in. Now, I'm backing in, so I'm going slow. You would think I slammed into something because it didn't feel bad, but it looked... It's really not bad. It's not bad, right? What happened? I still don't look at it. I hit something, and I'm like, What the hell? I thought there was a car behind me, but there's a wall there, and I didn't hit the wall. I have the backup camera. I'm looking at the backup camera. I'm like, There's no wall. I'm looking around. I'm like, What the hell? I get out. They There is a tree branch growing horizontal in my blind spot.

It was above the backup camera.

I have the Jeep, so my my my windshield in the back is narrow. It's small, so I don't see it through the window. It is, I swear, it's growing the exact height of the top of my car.

It's one of those that was cut.

So it was like- You can hang a swing from it. It's one of those.

So it was protruding- Into the spot. Really long.

In the spot.

And it just Oh, do you think anybody else has ever hit it?

Yes.

I'm assuming I wanted to go back and see if they cut it down because it's a problem. I was so pissed off because I have such a good track record, and it was such a stupid thing that obviously wasn't my fault.

It crushed the whole top corner of the hard top of the jeep. It's not bad.

It looks like my wrap has a crack in it. You know crackle nail polish? It looks like that.

I think you need to get your eyes fixed.

Better than what I have right now on the side of my car. You're just missing some plastic. I've been taking that all day.

I was so pissed off. I just wanted to make you feel better. I feel it.

What do you think my reaction would be if you did that to one of my cars? If you were driving it and then you had to come to me. First of all, how would you come to me?

You would be really pissed. I think that would have been a worst reaction than that. Again, you wouldn't have been pissed at her. You wouldn't have been pissed at the situation, but you would have been livid.

Did I ever tell the story about Jordan when he first moved out here?

I think we talked about all the podcast.

Did you ever hear about the-He parked his car somewhere.

I don't think we would talk about if he was here.

I don't think so. That's why he's not here, so say it.

I love you, Jordan. Looking back, this is hilarious. He was new. Jordan just moved out to California. Super excited. We're working together. We were together.

This was your first moments, right? This first moment where you got pissed at him, your first one.

I was really upset. I remember my Cayenne?

Your Porsche, yes.

Yeah. It was In the driveway, so we would have the gate, and then behind the gate, there was a parking spot, then there was the garage. So he was backing a car up out of the driveway so I could pull into the garage, and then he was going to come behind me. Okay. So he backs up, I pull through, and then I go up here, and he had the gate clicker for the garage and the gate in that car. So I look out and I go, Can you open up the garage garage door for me? He comes pulling up behind me, halfway parked in the middle of the driveway, and he goes to click for the garage to open, but he clicks the gate to close. Oh, no. There's no sensor on my gate. It's like an old gate. Oh, no. So the gate starts closing, and I look, I see the gate. I'm like, Jordan, the gate, the gate is closing, and he's looking at me, and I'm like, move. The gate is closing, and it's getting closer and closer. I'm like, back up, back up. And then he just sits there and it just goes, boom, right into the side of my car.

Oh, no. And I was like, you have got to be kidding me. He was like, What? I go-He still wanted to know. I go, the gate just closed on my car. And he was like, I don't think it hit it. I go, Bro, there's a dent. There's scratches all on the side. I was like, It just slammed the car.

I'm actually glad that he didn't back up because I could see him just completely backing up because of it. That's so It's true. It could have been worse. And he could have hit another car or worse, a fucking person walking their dog.

But also, you could have just clicked the button to deactivate it. Yeah.

All he had to do is just click it again.

Yeah. But I was so upset. I was so upset.

I remember him calling me. He's just like, Zane, I'm not doing so hot right now.

Did he know that the buttons... Or it was his first time seeing the buttons.

No, he's used them before. It's just like, one side does the gate, one does the garage door.

He just got confused. His reaction was very late.

How bad was your dent?

It was pretty good.

How much was it to fix it?

I didn't.

How much do you think I'm about to pay for this dent on my car?

Luckily, you don't have to do any paintwork. Yeah. I don't really care about it. It seems like all the scratches are in the clear coat. I think they can go in and just pop those dents out. It's a tedious process. You should actually look it up because it's really fascinating. People that fix dents in body lines. I would say they'll probably chart because you're going to have to get a new plastic piece because the plastic piece is broken.

It still works. I think so.

The trim? Yeah.

It came out just one big piece. It didn't seem like anything was broken on the plastic.

I would say maybe 1,500 bucks.

That's fine. That's fine. 1,500 is fine. That seems like it is $1,500. There's things that are crazy priced where you're like, It's that much for that?

Or Matt, you know what? Take her to court.

My own wife.

Take her to court.

Judge Judy, that shit happens all the time. Judge Judy, we eat that shit up. The people that go in there, the amount of relatives, like best friend. Dude, it's crazy.

That'd be a hot episode. Everybody would tune in.

I'm just bummed. I'm not mad at it.

Patricia and Patricia are both like, Hey, let's just do this. It'd be really funny.

I don't know. It would make me look like an asshole. As the husband, I just feel like I just need to be like, It's okay, wife. We'll take care of it. I just hope But the thing is, I want to put it on her like, Okay, well, you got to call up the shop.

Yeah, just have her do a little bit of work.

It's your thing that you have to deal with. But then also, you don't want her to do that because my kids might take advantage of her.

I know.

It's been known to They upcharge like woman because they assume that women don't.

I thought they would cut them a deal because they're so cute.

No, Patricia would have to probably like, you know.

But you know a guy? Just like a...

Zane, put it down.

Okay, but Patricia may reach out to you to get the number of the guy. I have a guy that'll do it. She might be doing a little bit of that nitty-gritty, setting up the appointment.

I'll set up the group chat.

That's where I'm just like... Because it's a stressful thing and it just the idea... I can show up and be like, Okay, what is it?

Now, you'll have to do an Instagram real quick.

I just don't want to shop around.

You'll have to do an Instagram real.

Oh, I'll do a whole Instagram real. Patricia will, too.

But it's just so passive-aggressive. So my wife crashed my car, so I'm making her do this. I don't know, just make it fun. I need the herb. Okay. All right. I'm hungry.

I want to eat right now. All right, we'll close it out. All right, guys. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode. Thanks for watching. Thanks for rocking with us and staying with us for so long. We love you so much. Rocking with us. Also, make sure to check out the Patreon. We have a Patreon, patreon. Com/zaneandheath. We do a bonus episode every single month, drunk, high, whatever. It's a great time. We also keep these cameras rolling after we finish these episodes. You get an extended cut. We do a live Q&A every month, a little BTS stuff, updates, and yeah, Patreon. Com/zaneandheath.

Perfect. You can check out these episodes every Monday, audio form on all the podcast platforms, and every Tuesday, video form on our YouTube channel, youtube. Com/zaneandheath.

We love you guys.Thank.

You so much.

Stay safe out there. Ciao.

Check your surroundings.

Check your backup cameras.

Where are you seatbelt?