My favorite. Are we good?

Are we live? We're live. We're popping.

Off.

Baby.

Yeah, baby. We are back and we're hot.

Temperature.

Wise? Temperature wise, I'm hot. There's AC flowing. No, I'm feeling hot because there's AC rolling through this room. I'm feeling good.

I'm.

Feeling hot. I thought you were talking about attractiveness.

I'm feeling a little. I think flannel brings out my feature, brings out my- Brings out your attitude. Yeah, brings out my attractiveness features. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what.

I'm saying? Have you been doing double takes in the mirror lately? You think your new bot?

No, I'm.

Not.

There. I'm not there. There's never a time where I look in the mirror and I go, Damn, you look good. Not once. Not once. You have?

Sometimes. It depends on.

Certain-you're just like, Wow.

There are certain mirrors in my house where I feel like I look amazing in some mirrors I don't look.

Good in. You know which mirrors I look real good in? Gym mirrors inside gyms.

Oh, yeah, it's a thing.

What is the science then behind the mirrors?

I think there's a way where.

They-it's got a little curve to it, so it makes you look tighter. It makes you look tighter. -it makes it look-They.

Make all mirrors like that.

Gems do it because they want to... It's for a positive reason. It motivates you to keep coming back because you're like, Oh, wow, it's working.

I looked really good when I was at the gym.

I show you back to the gym. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's interesting when you go to certain restaurants and I know at certain schools they have removed mirrors because they think it ruins self-esteem.

In.

Cafeteria? I know in school sometimes they remove mirrors. I think, is it true at Disney World they don't have mirrors in the bathroom as well?

Because they want.

People to get in and out of it.

Now that you say that, do high schools even have mirrors in the bathroom? Because I.

Remember ours did? Yeah. But that shit was cut up. Oh, yeah.

There was always pieces missing. Oh, yeah.

I think even sports stadiums, they're not putting mirrors in there because they just want people in and out. If you put mirrors up-Then.

They're going to sit there and check themselves. Yeah. That's true. Even if they don't need to, they're still going to look and waste a couple of seconds. You know what I hated looking at? It'll humbue you real quick. Those 3X vanity mirrors that have the ring light around it, we used to sell them at Brookstone. I'd be working and I'd look.

Every-you would see every unibrow you had.

It will ruin your day. It's crazy how every single millimeter of your face is just a nice.

Huge pore. Your pores.

Look like a golf... Your nose looks like a.

Golf ball. And that's what makes the show beautiful, baby. We have all types of ugly and beautiful on the show.

Come on, baby.

Let's roll it. Let's do it. Let's roll the intro, baby.

It's Coventown, baby.

Let's go. Welcome back to Zane and HeathUnfiltered.

I'm Zane. I'm Heath. I'm Matt. I'm Mariah.

And welcome back to your...

Get it, baby. We are.

Feeling-no, I was going to say your favorite all-male podcast.

Oh, stupid.

So should we talk about chicks and relationships? How they're going to say, Fucking suck.

In.

Bathrooms.

I don't think we act like we're all male podcast. No, no, no. The shit we talk about, I think we're pretty good with leaning towards shit that we talk about for.

The female audience. We just talk about our lives, things that are going on in the previous week, things that excite us, things that we know people will get excited about.

We respect women. We don't watch sports. I think we cater.

Pretty well too. Yeah, Barstill would never sign us.

Yeah, they couldn't. That's why these other podcast, they never invite us because there's nothing... The dude podcast, there's just nothing to talk about with us because we wouldn't be able to relate to anything that they have to say.

Can you lock or talk?

I can't lock or talk.

What do you consider as like proper lock or talk?

You and Todd talking?

Oh, yeah.

What do you and Todd talk about?

We're just kissing and telling.

Just Yeah, maybe you're right.

It's weird to hear Matt do it because I'm like, this seems... It would be like hearing your grandpa talk about something. You're like.

You.

Don't want to hear.

My stories? There's some sense of privacy that I like, especially when it comes to relationships or my... Even when I was in my last relationship, I never want to talk about it. Only when there's a serious, serious issue, I didn't really like talking about it. I don't know. There's some things I want private. Yeah, it's good. Even when it comes to, and that comes to sexual relationships, anything like that, I just don't like to talk about it.

It's weird how they call that stuff locker talk. You're saying that in the locker when all of you guys are getting naked around each other?

Yeah, you're talking about.

Fucking.

Girls, which girls coming over later that night. Yeah. Yeah.

Why are you doing that in the locker?

It's just locker talk. Honestly, I think movies pushed it heavily too on what?

Yeah.

Big time. Like locker talk.

Well, we're not going to be doing that.

Don't worry, guys. I know we're going to bring it. We're going to bring it now.

How are you?

Oh, we have different seating arrangements this episode. Matt's a little closer to us, which.

I enjoy. I like it.

Oh, yeah. I could like... Well, we have reasons. I mean, the people know probably by the thumbnail and the title of this episode. We have a big guest.

Coming in. We do. We have Trevor Walls coming in in the next 20 minutes or so. Yeah, we're really excited. It's going to be our first comedian, stand-up comedian.

Oh, yeah, we haven't had like, I guess, a proper stand-up comedian. I'm so excited to get to.

Talk to him. We did his podcast a couple of months ago. -stiff Sox. Yes, Stiff Sox. It's a really funny episode if you guys want to check thatout, it's on their channel. We wanted to have him on.

Literally, today, as we're recording November 14th, his new special pterodactyl, pterodactyl.

And.

He's going to talk more about it when he's here. So yeah, I'll be soon. How's every week? Is every week good?

Rough. What happened? Well, you know, Dini Wini, right? Yes. He wasn't feeling well for a week and he kept throwing up. He wasn't going to the bathroom. Oh, no. Just having some issues. We took him to the vet and they did an X-ray, put him on some medicine to try to flush him out and hopefully.

Get him -Are you worried while this is happening?

Freaking out.

You're thinking, Oh, my gosh, the cat is dying.

He's not feeling good. He's super lethargic. Just because we lost the other cat when it was really young, we just had a really uncomfortable feeling. We do the X-ray, they come back and they're like, We're going to need you to look at this. They pull us into the back and we're looking at the X-ray. His stomach was like five times the size it should have been.

It's.

Blown up inside of him and we're like, That's not good. She's like, No, it's not good. She goes, We're going to put him on this medicine. Hopefully, if there's something inside of his stomach, it'll pass through. That's like a.

Blockage or whatever. It doesn't show any inflammation. It just shows that it's bigger. Did it.

Show a shape of at least.

The object? Yeah, I have pictures of it. They put him on this medicine and he goes to the bathroom. We're like, Oh, my God, this is amazing. He's doing great for two days. Then all of a sudden it starts back up again. We're like, This is weird and it's even worse. We go back in, they do another X-ray, and now it's 10 times the size of what it's supposed to be. Oh, no. Now his small intestines are huge. Something was trying to get through the stomach into the intestines. It's like lodged. It was like blocking it. He couldn't.

Go to the bathroom. He just stayed there when it got stuck in the intestines.

Now during this time, are you guys thinking, what could it be? Are you looking.

-yeah, we were trying to think about what it could be. There's nothing that he could have got into.

But-you keep the place pretty tidy. I know Mariah does. There's just no way that cat could have eaten something at least noticeable.

But we had something in mind that we thought it could have been because he got into something. But this was a while ago, so I don't know how long it was in his stomach, but they go, We're going to have to do a surgery today. It's an emergency. If you want, we could stay after hours and do the surgery here. But we're closed on the weekend, so I'll just take him home with me and make sure he's on the IV and stuff. This is his little X-ray real quick.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Wait, that's not the PCA.

This is it in the small intestine or is this in the stomach?

So that big thing is his stomach and then the small intestine you can see underneath, it's like it's supposed to be like this and it's like huge.

Damn, that is a realistic looking X-ray.

Yeah, that's the best X-ray I've ever seen in my life.

It's a really nice X-ray. Wait, I can't... You want to frame it?

No, I do. You want an X-ray of your.

Own body? I want to get an X-ray just... Why do our X-rays look like shit?

I think because maybe they can handle a different level of radiation than we can.

-dude.

That looks like...

-or they're just cranking it up because they...

That's the same damage of X-rays.

-yeah.

-it's.

Perfect.

Kind.

Of one. But yeah, so the lady stays after work, does the surgery, takes him home. It was the corner of one of the, you know those kids' mats?

Oh, right.

The little tab on the end of it, he ripped off one of them and apparently swallowed the entire thing whole.

I'm sorry, the whole.

One of.

The tabs... Oh, just the tab. Just the tab. Just the one...

Like the foam mats that people buy and you piece them together like a puzzle. He got one of the little nubs.

It sucks because you think buying something like this, especially since it's like something you put for a kid's den, you're like, Oh, this would be safe for pets.

We go, Oh, we don't want him to... He falls. We don't want him to hit the tile or the hardwood floor.

Let's give him a little squish. -be as safe as you possibly can and then still...

Oh, so annoying. Yeah, they pulled that out.

How long was the surgery?

Thirty minutes. It was super quick, but they also... That is crazy. They also did the...

Oh, they snipped him.

Yeah.

What do you mean they.

Snipped him? Is it neutered or spayed? Neutered.

They had to neuter him to do this or they just decided to.

Do it? Well, we were going to do it eventually and they're like, While he's under you, do you want us to just cut him off while we're there? We're like, All right.

Well.

Yeah, he probably didn't need it. What's the reason why you neuter cats?

Well, that they just don't reproduce. Then also cats, they also start spraying shit around your house when they suddenly reach that point in puberty. Just like piss? Yeah, it's like piss to attract mates. Then I don't know if it's also cum, I don't know.

-yeah.

They just like -A little bit of kiddie cum. -they shoot.

At the wall and stuff.

-they shoot at the wall and stuff. Yeah, we had to do with my cat when we were...

Okay, so it's a normal thing to do. Yeah. Okay.

A lot of times he'd actually prefer because if the cat ever got out, the cat will find another cat and then he'd have more kittens on the street.

But now looking at him and he's got his little tummy shaved and he's got the coat on.

His head.

He looks like when I got a hair transplant.

He's.

Like a little more teeny. Did the vet just do it all of herself? Or is there still a team of people who are like scalpel? No.

Here's the thing, Matt. It's probably so easy to do that.

But who drains the blood out? Or how do you get down there? I don't know. I dissected a cat before. I mean, what do I know?

I get canceled by every vet watching this right now. It's easy. If it's done in 30 minutes, it can't be that hard.

I mean, I would-It's the skill, and they know you'll pay it.

Well, they also had to go to full-blown medical school to.

Do this. Yeah, that's true. It's not like you can do it at the house.

That's incredible. The small intestine. So, Daney has a little cone on his head. Did they give you the cone? Did the vet give that cone? Yeah. How long does the cone have to stay on? A week. Okay, that's not.

That bad. Yeah.

It's.

Because of itches right now, right? They're just going to pick at it.

They don't want him to pick at it and pull the sutures out. -wow.

-yeah, he's.

Doing really good.

-good. Does he have to have a different diet now that he's in?

Yeah, they put him on new food that's a little bit more fiber.

Okay, just to toughen it all up.

He's getting big.

-yeah. Oh, my gosh, his gorgeous blue eyes. You guys are so lucky with such a gorgeous cat. We still don't know what he is. Feels like it's a combination of ragdol or what was the snowshoe cat that you guys were thinking of? Are his eyes like a little like do they...

Please don't say is he cross-eyed.

Well, I think it's adorable when a cat is cross-eyed and it goes a little in. I think that looks like it's like a cartoon cat.

Yeah, because the vet was looking at him and he was like, Oh, he's cross-eyed. We're like.

Is he? I see it. No, but that's character and you need a cat that has character.

It's cute.

Yeah, he's recovering. He's doing really well.

Well, good. Thank you to the vet for saving his life.

Real quick, though, if you guys do need a really good vet, South Pasadena Animal Hospital, they're very, very sweet there.

You went to Pasadena.

Yeah, they're the best. They're just really sweet.

You said that your weekend was the opposite of traumatic.

Yeah, opposite of traumatic. It was actually very relaxing because I went to Joshua Tree.

Oh, I saw all of this.

Yes, a little health retreat.

This is with Ilia for Zillow?

Yeah, we went out there for just a relaxing trip. We had sauna, coal plunge, working out, hiking, no alcohol. It was.

Really nice. Have you been to Joshua Tree before?

No, this is my first time to Joshua Tree.

Dude, the same. I've been in L. A.

For almost 10 years. I thought it was going to be absolutely just nothing. Just straight desert. And it was. There was not much to do. Very limited, limited options, which made it a little bit more fun to figure out what to do because you only had this to do in Applebee's. We were like, we went to Applebee's. Dude, Applebee's was a hot spot in Joshua Tree. We typed in dinner and only three spots open... Three spots popped up and one of them was Applebee's. And, bro, we're like, okay, let's just go to Applebee's. We recognize a place, whatever, because other places didn't look like anything I could eat in there. So we went to Applebee's and it looked like Catch, Catch Steak.

It was.

A scene. It was a scene. Everybody was there. It was Friday night. It was the place to be. And it's so funny. We were just talking about how people don't go to Applebee's anymore, but people still go, man, especially out.

In the -Do they still do the two-for-twenty deals?

Yeah, they still have all that. Dollaritas? Is that still going on?

No, no.

That's the one I would never want to.

Go to. Maybe on a certain day, but they definitely didn't have that when we were there.

They did dollaritas?

I think they still do. I still see TikToks of people who go to Applebee's and getting dollaritas.

Oh, yeah, I've seen it's a trend where they go.

Like -If you are asking for it, if you're...

I mean, you have a good time for a dollar a drink. That's not bad.

It has to be the most hardcore alcoholics that they're having.

Is there an alcoholics buffet? You know, like all you can eat, but like all you can drink. There is a place.

-yeah, open bar. Oh, you mean just a place in general?

No, that's the theme of the bar. All you can drink. You pay like 50 bucks, you go in and... Is there actually?

Yes, Rock and Riley's in L. A. I think you pay 50 or $60 a month. You get to drink for free anytime you.

Go there. Fifty, 60 bucks a month?

A month and you drink.

For free. How do they not go bankrupt?

That's insane. I guess, not that popular of a bar. If you.

Have a membership for alcohol, that's... I have a.

Buddy who pays for it. The thing is when you go there and you realize you're going to be drinking there for the night, you feel tempted to sign up for it. But the thing is you're not going to go there all the time.

Fifty bucks, that's like three drinks.

Out here. Yeah.

It's a deal. I think it's $60. It's a.

Steal of a deal. That sounds like a lot of people's pre-game.

Spot right now. It sounds like a shitshow.

I don't think they advertise it. You got to ask about it and they'll bring up this piece of paper and you sign it and you're getting all those.

Drinks for free. It tightens the community. I think people get it because it's not like promoted and it just makes you feel like you're part of an underground Illuminati. You know what I mean? You're not part of Rock and Riley's membership.

I'm curious about the loopholes. Then just go buy a bunch of pitchers and then bring them up to your friends and you guys are drinking for free, right? Yeah. Or maybe it has to be a single drink and they have to be making sure you're drinking it the whole time. Or maybe there's limits where they're like, Well, yo, you've had eight tonight. I think that's enough.

That's a really good idea. Also, I know we talked about the stock market bar.

Wait, the stock market? -that does.

Exist, yeah. -you've seen it, right?

Where it's like a ticker that goes around and it says the prices of drinks and then going up and down.

The ones that aren't getting ordered, the prices are dropping.

Then it becomes cheaper to buy that drink.

And then it becomes cheaper. So then everybody starts buying that, which is going to bump the price up.

That's a bit of a. It's a bit of a... No one's going there like...

It's fun, though. It's fun, too, especially if you're on a... If you're on a project. Just on a project.

I think it's a.

Cute idea. Because a lot of people, they don't really care what they drink. I know back then I didn't care what I was drinking as well. I was always getting the cheapest thing to drink. So I think that would be just a fun way to do it. So we stayed at this Airbnb, right? And none of us knew what it was going to look like.

Not from the pictures?

Just the surprise reaction. I think somebody on the Zillow team, a Zillow group, audited it. None of us saw it, so we didn't know what we were prepared for. Then we get there and then the owner shows up and he's just being just such a dick. He's being so anal about everything. Just with that, he has an earpiece in, which makes it even worse.

He's just like-Talking to who?

No, he.

Just has the.

Bluetooth earpiece. It just makes you just a.

Little bit more zouchey. I was trying to get fair.

He's saying all these rules, right? Rules that are just like, okay...

It.

Was $2,500 a night. So it's an expensive Airbnb, right?

Was he thinking you guys were going to throw a party or something?

No. They told him that we're filming a documentary, like a fitness documentary, and I think he was really worried.

So it's a porno?

Yeah. It's funny because Todd and I just watched the movie X before.

Oh, no.

Yeah. I heard it was like, Oh, this guy probably thinks we're shooting a porno. He showed up, saw that it was just all dudes.

He was probably really disappointed. He said, Let's go see what these.

People are up to. He comes in and the Airbnb is hot, right? It's really hot. Me and Ilia, we can't sleep when it's hot. That's just a thing that we just need it a little cold just so we could fall asleep. We're like, Hey, is there any way we can turn the AC down? He's like, Oh, no, we can't put the AC down because it'll spike the AC bill.

It's $2,500 a night, sir.

Exactly. Me and Ilia are like, Really? We can't just put it down. He's like, No, I don't want you guys touching it. Then he goes to the AC and then puts a pin in it so we can't put it down.

Puts a pin. Wait, how old is this? What school of a place is this?

Bro, this is not like a mansion or anything. This is just a regular ass fucking house and $2,500 a night, way overpriced, and puts a pin on the fucking AC.

If you've never said anything, do you think you.

Even would have been in it? He would have never went to it. What a dick. Yeah. And then we ask if the pool is heated because it's chilly outside. We wanted to take a dip in the pool. He's like, Oh, yeah, if you want to heat up the pool, it'll be an extra 150 bucks a day. We're like, Fine. All right, we'll do it for tomorrow since the next day was Saturday. That was our main day. And he's like, Well, I'm going to have to turn it on today because it goes up a degree every hour. So you'll have to pay for it today and tomorrow if you want it for tomorrow. We're like, You fucking Jackass. Yeah. Now we have to make 300 bucks extra so we can go inside the heat of pool for the next day. But it just kept on going. It kept on going. He kept saying these little.

Things and we all looked at each other. And the Wi-Fi password? Yeah. You guys got to all thinmoe 20 bucks and I got to get the password.

It's also 50 bucks per flush.

Yeah.

And then we're just so worried because this is the type of guy that would have probably cameras and works in the house. Yeah. We just.

Felt it. Now the property, was it close to other residences or was it backed out to the desert?

It was like half-half. So if you looked at Google Maps, the streets looked normal. But then when you got there, all dirt roads. It was very, very...

Yeah.

It was far away. I would say I was at least a mile and a half two miles away from like -Pretty rural. -like a street. But yeah, other than that, it was really nice.

I saw you did a cold plunge.

Yeah, it was like... I'm trying to remember if I've ever done a cold plunge or not because I don't remember. Maybe I have, but not as.

Cold as that. Do you know what the temperature was?

It was probably like 40 degrees.

Did it hurt?

Yeah. -it's very pain.

-it hurts. It hurts.

My ankles feel like they're about to explode. That's what I have to get out because literally it feels like the juice inside of your joints is about to.

Freeze and expand. It just feels like someone just with a small box here.

Yeah.

Just hurts so bad. The first time I couldn't stay longer than a minute, then I went to the son. I was like, all right, let me try again. I go back in, try again. I couldn't stay for longer than a minute and a half. I was like, please, guys, I can't do this. I get a lot. Then I come back in and I think I just needed silence. Once it was silent and I sat in there, I was able to finish it.

What's the proper time you should be aiming for in a cold punch? Three minutes. Three minutes, yeah. Three minutes, that's it.

The hardest is that first minute and a half. Yeah. After that, it was just numb.

You're.

Just like, don't feel...

I got in a cold punch in Hawaii, but it was like a communal cold punch, like almost like a hot tub. You could fit a couple of people in there, but a guy was already in it and I was like, Hey, how's it going? It was the most like, embarrassed, because he's fully immersed. He's just in it, enjoying it. I'm like, Hey. I just sat at the steps. I couldn't even.

Sound like a little bitch.

I was typing out of my phone and I thought I was going to be able to fully get in. It was pretty embarrassing.

The one that we did. Oh, the Votospa one. That wasn't really a cold plunge, was it? That was maybe like 55 degrees.

It was warmer than that. It was warm, okay. I think it was like 60s. Yeah, once you start getting to like low 40s, that's where you're like.

This is-God, okay, I think that was the first one I did. That was really cold to me still, but it was doable. I could actually stay in there. Your body warmed or gets used to it very quickly.

The best thing to do is once you get out, not to go into a sauna or artificially heat back up, you're supposed to let your body return back to its natural temperature because that's where the health benefits are. Your body heating itself back up as opposed to going into something hot. Yeah.

I really truly want to try the cold plunge every day for 30 days. -would you go buy one? Just to see how I feel after. If it's working.

You know what's crazy? Do you know how much the cold plunges are? -dude. -take a guess.

The good branded ones, like it's like $2,000 or $3,000.

-four.

-four or $5,000. -it's just a bath with water in it.

It's crazy. Yeah, that one's $4,900.

Insane. Wait, this is like a proper... Yeah, that's the one some.

Friends have. I can't believe that's five grand.

Yeah, that's a rocket. You could go to Ikea, buy that bath for less than a thousand dollars.

You know how many bags of ice you could buy?

Oh, that one's nice. $10,000.

That's like the one they have a pause. Yeah. But the thing is I heard people like you get those and then you're seeing it out in your backyard, you don't even want to get into it because it just reminds you of just like suffering and pain.

-yeah, you also can't do it alone. -suffering. You have to do it with somebody.

You.

Need a witness.

You need to be like, Can you come out here and.

Just watch me do this? Not only the witness, you just need someone to support you through it. You just need someone to be like, You can do it.

Because not having somebody there at the same time, you need somebody to feel that same pain with you. Yeah, Yeah.

This isn't good enough for just my own benefits. I need to have.

The support. Have you ever seen Tony Robbins's cold punch he has at his house? Do you know who Tony Robbins is? Yeah, I haven't seen it, though. The motivational speaker? Can you look at Tony Robbins? His is in ground. He's a massively tall guy. I think he's almost seven feet. His is in the ground and it just goes straight down. -wow. -he just will jump in with this full body and he enters it. Then he just goes, boom.

Into it. Oh, that's deep. Yeah. Holy shit.

My.

Man dug a hole well and towards it.

Actually, I like that. Yeah, I do too. It looks scary, but I like that.

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What you love. Thank you, Kajabi, for sponsoring today's episode. We love you and thank you for helping our creators. We went to The Hunkir Games premiere yesterday.

I saw Yeah.

How.

Was it? It was really nice just seeing everybody out and about again because it was the.

Whole strike. It was the first one back since the strike.

Pretty much the first premiere after the strike. So all the whole cast was there. Viola Davis was there.

Peter.

Dinkledge was there.

Peter Dinkledge in.

The flesh. In the flesh. Seeing Viola Davis in the flesh was crazy. I just kept tapping and I was like, That's crazy.

She's just right there.

It was weird. And Peter Dinkledge was just.

Fucking awesome. Were they doing selfies at all.

With anybody? No. I mean, maybe if they're walking through the red carpet and the people that are too side.

It was so cool to see her talking on stage right in front of us.

You guys actually got to see it, too.

Yeah, in the theater.

We got to watch the movie with them. It's crazy. They've probably seen it before.

They probably watched it. They've had two other premieres already.

Where was it at? What theater was it at?

Chinese.

Theater. Oh, hell, yeah. That is awesome. Now, I saw that it's a 10th annual hunger Games. Is the movie not the first hunger Games?

-it's the prequels. It's the prequels.

But it brought it back to the 10th one instead of going to the first. Okay. Because there was, which it'll explain in the movie, there's games and stuff that were happening before, but this is the making of the new guy that's in charge and how the games changed to what they are.

Got it.

It's about President Snow as a kid.

The Donald Sutherland guy.

Yeah, him.

As a kid. Was the movie good?

It was really good.

We have to rewatch it. I need.

To see it again.

I swear, Keith and I probably looked at each other and we were confused maybe.

10 times. It's almost like...

Were there a lot of references? It seemed like it was.

Making you too much. No, not really. I think it was more... We just...

There are strategic plays that are done throughout the movie that if you missed something, you're like, Wait, why did he do that? You know what I mean? You have to think about what's... Almost like when you're watching Game of Thrones.

When you rewatch it, you're.

Like, Oh. When somebody can answer something in a different way to be like, Wait, that was a weird way to answer it. Are they going to turn on them? Are they going-Yeah.

I'm so curious about the world that they have in it. Is the technology any different?

-it's a retro future.

-retro future. Because you know Star Wars? It's like, yeah, you're going back, but it still seems like it's just as.

Futuristic as it was. What was crazy? The way they were talking was way too modernized. You know what I mean? Remember there was a few lines, especially that one.

Happy birthday to you. I've forgotten my birthday.

Oh, no.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.

To you.

Happy birthday, dear Zane.

I can't eat this fucking cake.

You bitch. Happy birthday.

To.

You.

I didn't even wish for anything. I just closed my eyes because that's what I usually do.

Just wait enough time to.

Where it seems like-I didn't wish for anything. I was just like, whatever.

I wish for the health of everybody in this room.

What's the flavor?

Funfetti.

Oh, Funfetti. That's my favorite flavor. Happy birthday, 31. That was getting big.

Dude, I know.

Welcome to the club.

Yeah, dude, I was even telling these guys like, I don't even want to celebrate birthdays anymore. After 30, I'm just like...

Yeah, I guess I know to me.

But I'm not going to lie though. It's also because I have six weeks left till this transformation thing is done. I don't want to fuck up and I don't want to have to do a party and I'm drinking for... I'd rather just do a small dinner.

There's a lot of pressure for birthdays.

Yeah, and I decided that I'm not going to do that this year.

What was your favorite birthday that you ever did?

My favorite?

From the time you were in L. A. You're one at Saddle Ranch. It was pretty awesome. We got surprised with Miss Juicy, baby.

That one was fun.

Yeah, that was a blast. That was really fun. And you had the whole Saddle Ranch.

Last year's was really fun. I remember that I had a lot of fun there too. Last year's. I'm trying to think of... Is there ever one where we went out of town or something?

We went to Vegas, I think, for your birthday one time. Was that your birthday or somebody else's birthday? Maybe that was Liza's birthday. Liza's was at the Palm. And then I thought we did that one where it was a two-storey room in Cezars.

Oh, no, it was.

We went to the Backstreet Boys.

Yeah, that was... You know what? I think that might have been my one of my favorite ones.

-that was a really fun trip.

-yeah, that was a good one.

Wait, is our guest here? Is he already here?

I don't know. Jordan, is he here?

Let's.

Go. We're fucking dead it.

You're sitting there, but hey, hey, hi, hi. Hello. Can we just get started? Yeah, let's hop right into it.

We'll get you in and out real quick.

Such a big day for you.

This is a big day. Dude, this is cool. I'm sick. I don't know, man, I'm nervous.

Everybody, welcome Trevor Wallace, to the podcast. Our first guests of season five, baby.

Season five, you're king. This is huge. I love the promo you guys did.

And congrats to you.

Thank you, dude. We're just high-fiving each other. Just circle-jerking everyone in the middle. This is beautiful.

Absolutely. Because today is the day your special.

Comes out. It's out. Amazon Prime video out today. That's why I'm dressed like this. I'm not usually dressed like an art gala guy.

Are you having a red carpet for your premiere? No. Okay. No step or repeat. You're not just like having...

Really?

We have an ice lube that's shaped after a pterodactyl.

That's How much did it cost to get somebody to shave in.

A.

Thousand.

Bucks? So instead of the step or repeat in the red carpet, you put the money into this.

Yeah, I just figured it's a cooler thing to take a photo of.

Is it their first pterodactyl that they've ever made out of ice? -that is a great question. -maybe a rich kid's like dinosaur, bar mitzvah.

The guy sounded like very Jersey. He goes, I've done an eagle before. How hard could it be? You're not wrong, but you're not right.

Okay, this is very PR. This is a very PR question, but can you tell us a little bit about your special pterodactyl? Just because I'm sure people want to know what it is about. Yeah, why did you call it.

Pterodactyl too? One of the jokes in there I just referenced, when your phone is dead, that's the real version of you. And then when you got to spell the word Pterodactyl and your phone's dead. That's you right there as a whole. And then everybody that told that, they're like, Oh, that's true. Then they try to spell it. Everybody starts with a T. And first of all, there's a P in it. There's also a hidden Y. There's a Y.

It's just.

Like, dude, spelling B, this is like final round.

Yeah, that's boss.

Right there. Is that the only word that has a P in front of it where you can't.

-and a Y? No, pussy has both.

Like a.

Silent P? Yeah, a silent P and then a T. No, no, no, I mean, no, P and T.

Those two letters. P is a crazy one, I think. Oh, yeah. I don't even know what it starts with.

Maybe a K? Who's sister decides on these words like we need to put a P in front of it? What is it?

The Greeks.

Fuck the Greeks.

How long ago did you record your special?

This was in Austin. Shout out, Matt. Hey. Paramount Theater.

Oh, my gosh. You know it? Yeah, it's iconic. The first time I ever saw Bo Burnham was in the Paramount Theater.

Yeah, dude, it's.

A gorgeous theater. Why Austin? Did you just have a good connection with it? Actually, it's a huge in the comedy.

Scene right now. -comedy scene. I did a show there, that same theater like two years ago, and it was just such a good crowd. Texas shows are great. My logic on shows, if your city vote for Trump, these shows are about to be phenomenal. But Austin is a great mix because you get the Yee Yee guys, but you also get the Tech Bro. So it's just a good mix of people. Texas crowds are just phenomenal.

Absolutely. Did you get to perform at the Mothership at all while you were there?

I did Kill Tony out there, which is a podcast. How was that? Yeah, I did that. It's great. The Mothership is awesome. It's just as cool as everybody hypes it up to be. Cool.

It's very cool. -which is the one that Joe Regan-The Mothership.

-that's the Mothership. Okay. Yeah, he turned the old Almo draft house on Sixth Street into the Mothership.

Oh, shit. Okay.

Yeah, it used to be the Almo draft house, but even before that, it used to be apparently like this cult owned it and and all that stuff.

Well, it's Austin. There's a.

Lot of cults. I think it used to be maybe a hotel or it says it's like The Ritz. Yeah, it's The Ritz right outside of it. I think it used to be in the older theater as well. Sixth Street is nuts. Oh, it's mayhem.

Cops on horses.

Zane, the first time out there.

Dude, the first time I saw it was right next to me. It was like, I was a foot away. I was like, Holy shit. I thought you.

Only saw this in London.

Did not know they had that shit out there.

Have any of you guys seen the 4K footage of a guy? He just blogs Sixth Street and he just gets all the fights. That's like an account. But he's like watching people brawl in 4K footage.

You know what? He's a streamer.

I don't know what he is. Maybe he's a Narc or something. He's just.

Filming everything.

Yeah. But it's like on a gimbal. It's the best shot.

You'll see. Because every time you get a video of a street fight, everybody's like, What's this shot on? Everybody just rips the cameraman. Exactly. He is that guy.

He sits it out.

Dude, you shoot at horizontal, you'll get fought for that. It's a good clip.

Is Worldstar still popping these days? Or is.

It-like the actual site?

Yeah, because I feel like everyone be like, Oh, world star, when a fight would.

Go down. Yeah, it's just a hub. I think it'll always be a thing because it's just a hub to put those videos on. I don't think anybody is-I.

Think the name is bigger than the site.

Right now. Yeah.

When was the last fight you got into?

Oh, man.

Not a verbal one.

A physical. Dude, you guys are like, I got punched in the face by a bancer. Pretty cool.

Did you mouth off at him?

Did you deserve to suck at him? He was the guy at David's party at the end.

Which party at David's party? The bodyguard. At the Pickleball event?

No, it was the Halloween party.

I want an event to punch.

Somebody at that. One of Cribs friends just got decked by this, or Jack Doherty. You know who Jack Doherty is? His security guard.

Every YouTuber has security guards now.

There's never any threat. There's never a threat. I've never seen a threat. How many.

Hate comments you have to get before you're like, I need security.

It's.

Wild. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this.

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Drag, baby. But yeah, the last fight I got on was probably that. I was at a bar in college and the bancer was like, Can I talk to you outside? This is early video days, so I'm like, Boy wants a selfie. We know what's going on. You've seen a video or two. And then he pushes me outside, and then he goes, Close the door. I grab the door to close it. I'm like, Oh, no, what are we doing? I thought we were hanging out. And then he flinches, right? And I go, What? Well, infamous last white guy words. What? Clocked right here, bleeding right here. And this is when it.

Gets real white. Before you can say, you're just fucking around.

You're like, You're- I was hammered. I legit didn't think I was getting kicked out. I was like, What does you want to talk to me about? It's pretty loud in here. Should we turn down the Diplow or what are we doing? But then this is the widest thing I think I've ever done is on my walk home, bleeding, I call the bar and I leave a voicemail. No. The bar is closed. They don't have the voicemail anymore. Thank the Lord. But I'm over there like, You're just fucking assault. You hit me. I'm a film degree major. Dude, it's one of those things the next morning. First of all, I deserve to be punched. Actually, no, I didn't. I was just drunk. I didn't do anything. We all did at least once. Yeah, I get it. Humbling. But I'm like, Thank God that bar is no longer because that voicemail, they'd still have it if they were still around.

Did you ever go back to the bar and see the bancer again? He remembered you?

-it was the college bar. It was like the place we'd go for $2 Tuesdays. You bring a $20 bill, you buy 10 shots, if my math is correct.

-oh, damn. -two dollar shots. -that's better. Is it good as Applebee's?

Like the Doloritas?

No, nothing's better than Doloritas. Doloritas is like the Bitcoin of an alcohol economy. We were.

Just talking earlier. We just found out that there's a bar around here that does a monthly membership for all you can drink.

What? Yeah, Rock and Riley's.

That has the name of a place.

Yeah, it's right over by The Roxy and Whisky a Go-Go. You can pay a membership. The thing is, I don't know if they even want people to know.

About this. A lot of people are about.

To find out. How much is it? Like 60 bucks.

Enough where you realize you would spend 60 bucks in a night on like -That's not.

A lot for like... Pretty good. You get one round.

Yeah, apparently that is.

The case. $40 LA Fitness Membership. $60 Rock and Royley is bored.

You're puking off off some Jack Daniels. You got a six.

Pack right there. It's cheaper than Equinox.

Definitely. What's Equinox?

Like 200 I think it's close to 300 now.

300.

They have a lot of numbers and C-A-P-Ls still.

Buying it. And it doesn't even come with a trainer. It's insane. Like $300 a month. I want a trainer at least twice a week with that price.

Fucking a lot. It's crazy how many.

People can afford to it. Do you guys go to the one out here?

No, we don't. I used to. It's just way too expensive. You're better off just getting.

Yourself a train of thought. You could lease a car for that.

Also, you know how much... I look this up. This is just an alpha thing, which is funny because I'm not... You know how much... You can just buy one of the weight racks where you adjust the different weights. -yeah. -you can just buy one of those on Amazon.

Oh, yeah, Matt had one.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, the BoFlex 552s.

Okay, well, we're not going infomercial. But the legit ones where it's like five pounds, 10 pounds, and you do cable, fiber. Guess how much that is? In my head, it was.

Like 20,000. We talked about Facebook marketplace.

Wait, you're talking about the whole weight set?

Yeah, the ones with the cables and you can do like that.

You're talking about the one that's the platform.

It's got all the weights stacked and you put the pin and it goes to this way. You put the pin and it goes to this way. I don't know.

What you're talking about. You're talking about the one at the gym. Oh, yeah. No, those are probably like what? $10,000?

One thousand, like-.

Brand new $3,500.

Isn't that mind-blowing? I want to go to Equinox and be like, Where do you all get off? Where do you all get off taking these prices?

When I can build my own- Trevor, this is actually fucking insane. I did not know it was that cheap.

I thought they were like $20,000.

It's still a lot of money, but compared to what you would think it would be.

Yeah, use your own home.

Gym now. And a cold is $5,000?

It sounds.

Not out of the sense. But you can just have that in your house delivered.

Yeah.

Is that too insane?

I'm opening up a spa.

Fuck it. You don't have to leave. You're going to save the gas money. You're not going to spend 300 bucks a month that you're never going to get back. You're investing in yourself.

You start charging the neighbors.

It's a pyramid scheme. It's not a bad idea.

At home Equinox. It's called a treequinox.

What do we think?

It's in a tree house in your backyard.

But that just blew my mind. How many of these is Equinox? Equinox have? Four?

How much does.

Equinox cost to make?

And it's a one time expense. There's, I would imagine zero maintenance.

Didn't that blow your mind? You just.

Got somebody to wipe down the sweat every couple of hours.

They are really good with that. Put more of them in there. Sometimes they're always busy. How about we just expand, buy more real estate, build another floor.

At least. It blew my mind to know that gym equipment... I thought it was the price of a KIA Optima. I didn't know where we were coming in on that.

I think should have a cap on how many people are members because at a point it's too expensive. You don't want to go to a crowded gym. A crowded gym, you're paying 200 bucks a month. But then.

You got to think a lot of people that go to Equinox love that shit and they want all.

The people there. They would get off on the membership.

Type shit. And you see the cells like Jody Foster doing...

The cells are going to fucking Equinox. Every day.

I walk in, I go, I hope I see Jody. -i hope I see Jody.

-you see Jody.

Foster there? Yes.

She was stretched out on the mat next.

To me. How long did you stare?

Into her eyes? Yes. I did not stare.

Did she look.

Like Jody Foster? No, she just looked like a normal mom. I don't.

Think I would recognize Jody Foster if I saw her working on the gym. Wait, I.

Think I did a shoot.

You did a shoot with.

Jody Foster? Oh, I wouldn't have recognized her.

Did she come to your show?

Yeah, I think I met her before. I don't know.

Is she cool?

Yeah, very chill.

I have a question about your special. Did you record all of it one night, the whole take? Or is any of the takes from another night you mix it all together?

Yeah, so it was three shows, one Friday, two Saturday. I was just fucking nervous. I was like, the first show I just want to get just a trial, just to feel it out. We used some stuff from that, but it's mainly the third show because I think the comfortability really settled in. It's like, overwhelming. People flew to Austin. And so Central people flew there for this. The cheer when they announced my name was so high. I was like, What joke can I say right now to match that? I got so in my head.

And do people know that it's being filmed for? They didn't.

Know what it was for, but they knew it was being filmed.

Oh, cool.

Now, how big of this event was it for your own personal life? Are you getting grandma and grandpa, aunts, and uncles all coming out? Are you like, get the fuck. -jug them out of the grave. I don't want too many people who are close to my life to be there.

A little bit of both. My parents were there, my family was there.

In the audience or backstage? -in the audience. It's like America's got talent there on the sides.

No, it was pretty cool. One of my bits in there is about how my dad told me about the birds and the bees talk. In the special, we cut to a shot of him reacting to that joke. That's cute. He's in it, and my dad's like a little clout whore. He's posting it. He's like, Look what we did. Special on today. Look what we did. I'm like, we? What the fuck?

You saw me in it? You saw me?

Yeah, he's the man. He's great. They're very supportive.

And just when it comes to how many people were watching, was that the biggest show you've done? Or you've done the same size shows, but this is the first one that was being filmed. That was.

Pretty fucking big. It was 1,200. I've done a little larger, but that's 1,000 people just staring at you. It's crazy.

To me. This is a one hour set? Yeah. Now, how long have you been working on this whole one hour set? Is this like pieces of stuff that you've been polishing over the years or just this past year?

There's jokes in there that are like six years old and there's jokes in there that are like a month old. I wrote some random thing about the talk about hot sauce packets, and I feel like they're not as edgy as they used to be. I wrote it like a month ago and I was like, Dude, I don't give a fuck. Put it in. I just love that. Then somebody was like, Well, hold on it. Make it better for the next one. I'm like, No.

No.

Toss it in. Do it now. Yeah, it was a mixture of.

Stuff, but it's.

Fucking fascinating. It blows my mind. They were like, Do you want to do a premiere? I was like, I don't want to watch people watch me. Just so I could be like...

It's even worse than actually being up on stage doing it.

On stage, I love doing it because you like...

I don't know. You get that energy right there.

Yeah, I also like blackout and it's like I'm just talking to a void.

I feel like for me it'd be easier to do it in front of a thousand people like that where it's almost like they're dark than to do it at a like improv.

Where you really see their faces.

Do you find those standups easier than when everybody's out there to see you only?

I try to be pretty blinded up there. I don't like seeing the audience. If I see one guy folding his arms in row 14, my vision will be locked on that guy. So if I'm pretty blinded, I won't see anything. But I've done shows where it's legit, bright, or daytime, and I am just looking at the top of people's heads. No facial emotions.

You purposely try not to look at them, get a face to face?

Yeah, it'll just throw me off, I think, because I just have such a rhythm to it that if.

Somebody's like-I'm guessing you don't do a lot of crowd work at your shows. No, I will. Or do you? I will, yeah.

But it's usually like they start it. They'll yell something out dumb, and then it's like there's nothing better than the whole audience hears somebody yell something dumb. Then you're like, Oh, cool. Now I get to talk shit. I don't look for it.

I feel like comedians used to hate that, but now it's become such a... Especially on TikTok. All I see on TikTok is hecklers. It's crazy. A lot of.

Comedians don't want to reveal all their jokes already online. So they want to post the crowd work because that can get you a vibe of them, but without spoil ing too much of what they already have planned.

Yeah, I see both sides to the argument. I think it's getting a little much now. Like, somebody will sneeze and be like.

What the fuck did you say to me?

Huckle by sneeze.

Huckle by Poland.

They just forgot what their next bit was.

Yeah.

Exactly. I think it also the whole heckling thing, people want that reaction from the comedian. So it's like over the top now. Before it used to be like somebody was actually heckling and it was a serious thing. Now it's people that just want that interaction. And it's almost like it's becoming the entire live performance and it's like, all.

Right, well. Yeah, exactly. I like to mess with it and then get back to it. I have some in this special, but it all came naturally. This girl had this really high pitch laugh and the whole audience could hear it. And then I go and I look at her and she does it again. And then I was like, no, however you laugh is great. I don't want to laugh, Shane. She goes, Oh, no, I have Tourette. And I was like.

Oh, fuck.

But then everybody looks at her then looks at me. And then I'm like, fuck. Okay. And then I said something along the lines of, You bring the ticks, I bring the talks. Then I did a quick renegade thing. It's fun. It's fun, you're like, in here, but when somebody's like, I have Tourette, it's a hard... Where do you go from there? You're like, I have a cat. I don't know. It was fun. But in the moment you see the realness, and people want to see that because it's not written. It's off the cuff. You can do a joke a thousand times that's tried and true. But when somebody throws you that hot potato like Tourette, you're like, Fucking Slam dunk it back. Yeah, respectfully.

Who opened up for you?

Did anyone? My buddy, Tony Kaseya, is a very funny comedian. He's out of Austin.

Oh, shout out to Tony.

Tony. We can call him Tony.

If you want.

Tony. Tony.

Is he a big comedian?

He's getting there. Yeah, he works at the Joe Regan Comedy Club. Oh, shit. Okay, cool. Very fun.

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We love you. I remember when we went on your podcast, Stiff Socks, you guys made sure to check it out. We did an episode with them. You guys went on a trip. You and... Oh, my God, what's.

His name? Me and Michael.

Mike. You and Mike went on a trip to...

I don't know where this is going. How was that? Have you guys been?

No, I haven't. Never been.

All right, cut the cameras. Have you guys been?

No, I've never been.

I went a while ago, probably like six years ago.

We.

Were only there for less than a night.

And?

I thought it was incredibly romantic. It was like five dudes.

And?

Is this what TFIO?

Yeah. Did you see any shows?

We didn't do the stuff at the Red Light. We walked through it, but.

We didn't like... Isn't it crazy? I was just like, if you're in Venice Beach, but just that... It's just so there.

It's weird that they're in the windows and they're just pointing at you walking by.

They want you to look at them?

They want you to come in. Yeah.

It's not a strip club, right? Where you look at them and they're like, You looked at me. You looked at me. Give me money now.

No, they're in the window and they'll point at you as you're walking by to come in.

Oh, that's sick. Don't know. It's so just on the street and it's like families. It's like dads.

Oh, kids are going down.

You don't.

Need that.

That's wild. Anybody can walk by. It's like a coffee shop and then a pub and then a red window. You're like, What's going on here?

I know they do dancing in there, too, Mariah. I should look into it.

What type of dance?

Yeah, it's a really cool experience. It's the hornyest place in the world because it's just groups of dudes just like fucking floating around the streets. One guy's smiling, one guy's crying. You can tell who got ripped off and who didn't. But we were very nervous. We sat at a bar across just like, Do we want to do this shit? Then we saw a guy walk in and then maybe 10 minutes later walks out the biggest smile on his face. What are we doing? I'm like, That's the best film we've.

Ever seen. Honestly, I think I'd have so much fun just sitting at the bar, watching them walk by and just look at their reaction.

The people watching is crazy.

I got to see that.

That'd be fun.

But it's so bizarre. It's just like...

It's very weird.

Yeah, it's almost too good to be true.

You.

Get there and you're like, Shirley, are.

You a cop? There's got.

To be a catch.

Do you have a wire? Okay, is each window its own store and its own collection of women or?

It's one woman per door. Okay. Then you tap and then, Hey, what's up? Then you open the window and then you're like, How much for? Then you insert whatever. Whatever you're looking for? A relationship, romance, love.

You're saying this while other people are walking by on the.

Streets and you're just like, That's insane.

Look, I'm not saying I'm some massive celebrity, but I definitely didn't want people to be like, Dude, is that Trevor Walls about to get jerked off?

I.

Had a hat on and a hood. I look like Eminem, just shadow box. I'm going.

To try something. Matt, you'd be the type where it's not even about the girl. It's about the room. You'd go inside and be like, Let me check out.

Another room. No, thank you.

I don't like the.

Vibe in there. But you crack the door, you talk about, Hey, what is this? How much is that? Then you're like, Cool. Then you bring in the room and they close the curtain and then they take you upstairs and it looks like a damn hostile in there. One place had a blue light. I was like, This is the last place you'd ever want a blue light.

Blacklight.

What's that?

They're all connected.

Kind of, yeah. Yeah, a.

Little bit. Are you hearing just screams from other rooms? It's like hostile. Just like blood.

Splattering on the window. No. But it is so bizarre. The funniest thing was the small talk because you got to walk. It'd be like if I was at the front and you walk up some stairs and then she's like, So are you visiting? And you're like, Yeah, I'd hope guys don't live here. Go get a quick set in, babe.

So they knew English. Yeah. She's using Google translate. We're writing out just sonnets and poems.

Love and romance in Russian. But it's the funniest small talk ever because you're never going to see this person again. How are you liking Amsterdam? You're like, Are.

We about to do this? Wasn't it crazy that there's more bicycles than cars there?

-am Amsterdam? Yes. -yeah. -so many.

Goddamn bikes. Such a weird thing to see the complete...

Oh, yeah, I've seen TikToks of them removing all the bicycles from the canals because so many people will just ditch them out there. Dude, it's.

Like a claw machine. -it's on bicycles. -it's on bicycles everywhere.

Is that how we treat bird scooters and just throw them off a grid? Yeah. Dude, imagine your bike is gone as just floating down the river.

That's so many bikes. Oh, my God.

Wait, it's.

Like that? It's like like a 405 with bikes. Nobody drives out there. You either walk or you bike.

It's rare to see a guy going by in a car.

Which is crazy to do the Red Light Ditch and then just hop on your little hop thing and be like...

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Did you guys hear about the 10 highway. Where is it?

The 10? Oh, the 10 that caught fire. Yeah.

Did you see that fire?

No, I didn't know this.

Was going on. The whole infrastructure under the highway just burned up. And the whole highway closed.

There was a pallet. It says the 10 is shut indefinitely right now.

What.

The fuck? Which is the main highway people get to go to the airport. I have to go to the airport tomorrow. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Bro, it's going to be madness trying to get to that airport.

For the next few weeks. It's on the 13th street. It's not the entire 10. It's just the 10 that is closer to downtown.

I thought it.

Was the whole thing. No, it's not the whole thing. In my head it was too. But for people, if you're coming from downtown and you wanted to get on the 10 to... This is so fucking L. A. If you wanted to get on the 10 to go down to Santa Monica. Yeah, you're going to run into some issues.

If you're coming. It's not crazy then. I thought it was a whole highway.

You had the exact voice for a radio talk show doing the traffic report.

Oh, yeah, if you're going down 10:00 to the 4:05.

Man-god damn, dude. -god damn, dude. -that's crazy. Well, shout out to the 10.

What's your writing process when it comes to your stand-up jokes? Are you just typing it on your phone and then looking at that before you go on stage? Do you watch your performances after and then polish that?

Yeah, I like voice memo on my sets. Then if I do something new, I'll go back and listen to it and be like, Oh, how did I say it? Then my notes app is just crazy, just filled with shit. It's either one word or a full sentence or a paragraph or or I'll just voice memo me talking something out that's funny or something that happened.

Does anything ever come up while you're in the middle of doing a show? Yeah. Like a new line that would work really well in between a transition or something?

Yeah, I'll just riff randomly. That's the best time to try a new shit. It's like a sandwich in between stuff you know that works. It's like fail-proof because you're like, All right, this works. And you do it. You ride that wave of laughter. And then you're like, You guys ever pee your pants? And then that doesn't bite. And you're like, All right, moving on.

Yeah.

I thought this, comedians always did this. I don't know if they still do this, or if they even do this. But do you guys practice in front of each other? In front of your friends?

No, but when I first started, this is some wholesome shit. When I first started, it was my senior year of college. I was in the film department there, and I would go and I'd rent microphones to practice in my room and just say the jokes, which is really wholesome. It's a fucking loser thing to see. And my room was separate from my other friends. I had the downstairs room. They were all upstairs. So thank God they didn't hear me at night. I'm sure they did. Oh, yeah, dude. They're like, This guy is writing a manifest.

Did you have it hooked up to an amp playing or were you just holding a.

Dead mic? Just holding it just to have the, I guess, feeling of it.

You wanted the prop?

Yeah, exactly. Playing with an amp at three would be so funny, though.

You.

Guys, you all have shitty roommates.

You just hear me in the front, Ha!

Keep writing. Yeah, no, I didn't. But we don't really practice. We don't test jokes out. The worst is when comedians will slip jokes in when they're talking to you. Let's just say we caught up at some event or something and I see you and I'm like, Yeah, man, it's crazy. You ever think about like... And then they just get into jokes and you're.

Like, Are you testing currently?

Are you running-You're workshopping.

-you're running bits on me? But then you hear them do it to somebody else, you're like, This motherfucker. You are running bits on me, dude.

I thought that was a normal thing to do.

Maybe it's like it sucks when you hear somebody else doing it back to you. It's like, Bitch.

That awkward setup to even get to where your joke would begin, like just turning a random conversation into that. But I feel.

Like generally I think I've been around Stanup long enough to know the structure of the wording. This sounds pretty bitty. This sounds like you have a gist. You're like, Oh, God, here we go.

First time you did it was, did you do well?

Oddly, yeah, but I think it was set up to do well. I did a comedy class when I was 17, and then you did six classes and then you performed after. It was a lot of other... It was like a dance recital. A bunch of families were there and shit. I was so nervous, I blacked out. I said a sentence, got to laugh, and then I just like, it opened my eyes. It was still going. Very bizarre. But I like love it. That was the most adrenaline I.

Ever had. Are you trying to get into any movies or shows at the moment?

If it happens, yeah, but I don't... I've had calls with some of these people, and I'm like, God, put a gun to my head. What's going on? I don't know. I think every video I put out is in some sense an audition where if somebody's like, Oh, I like that. You should do that in my movie. I like being a part of other people's projects.

You don't have to audition for it. You just want to try to get direct book.

Yeah, dude, I always think about Andrew Santino on Dave.

It's like.

I want to show up, do my thing, then get out of there. He can still tour. He can still do his podcast. He can still do a bunch of stand-up. It doesn't affect your schedule too much. Once you're responsible for a show to work, it's exhausting. And if it flops, you're fucked. It's like, How do I just show up and be like, ta-da, and then leave?

I.

Think that type of stuff, I don't really want to... I love this format where it's like, go do some podcasts, shoot some sketches. I mean, it's unbelievable. It's so fun.

Who are you taking inspiration from right now?

You guys. Oh, yeah. Please. I'm looking at a room full of Legends. I would say like Theobon, he's so funny. Tim Dylan, if you.

Know him. I love.

Tim Dylan. He's so good.

Dude, Tim Dylan is just being a fly on the wall around him is so funny. Just hearing him rant. That's a guy that like, Dude, you could do all your bits in front of me and I'll just be sitting there wide-eyed.

Yeah, he can make anything to sound funny. -it's so funny. It's just the way he talks is.

Always great. Do you have really good mentors as well? Like that you never thought in your wildest dreams that you would become so close to them. And then on top of that, them offering you advice and guiding.

Yeah, it's weird when you meet these people and then you're like a mutual like, I'm a fan of you. I'm like, Why are you a fan of me? I'm a fan of you. There's a lot of guys like that. I think guys like Tim Dylan or Theo Vaughan or those guys, I reached out to a lot of these people before the special day. Yo, what the fuck do I do? You've done a bunch of these. This is nerve-wrecking as hell. And the most random tips. Whitney Cummings is a friend of mine. And she was like, The night before your first show, have the AC on all night. It'll be too hot. You'll be sweating. And then if you're sweating in one show, you can't use that show in the other shows because you'll be sweating. And then you're not sweating. It's like these are random things you would never.

Think about. Like the continuity between it. Interesting.

Yeah. So they were oddly very helpful and they weren't holding back at all, which was awesome.

Did you have three of the same outfits or did you wear the same?

Three of the.

Same outfits. Yeah. You didn't just...

No, which is smart. I almost white on white. And thank God I didn't do that. I mean, I look like a used pastor. In my head, I see I wish I was more of a fashion guy because in my head, I can conceptualize the fit. And then I put it on, I saw it on the cameras. I was like, No. Like, bombing in white on white would.

Be the worst.

When you guys went to prom, this is my theory, all the guys that wore white tuxitos back in high school, they all are in jail or do construction.

Yes, it was a fag.

It was like... Ricardo.

Sorry, Ricardo.

You're going to throw him under.

The bus like that? There's nothing wrong with doing either of those jobs or being in prison, turn up. Have you watched prison TikTok?

-that is a thing. -i love prison. It's crazy that it just pops up on my feed. The fact that they're even.

Filming in there. My favorite is prison TikToks, but the cooking shows?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. When they're cooking on their bed, they've been able to conduct heat onto their metal bed. -it's unbelievable. -it's a kibachi.

Yeah, the chinichanga out of top ramen noodles. Yes.

How is there not an alert that gets sent to people running the prison? How do they get away with like...

It smells good.

Just.

Imagine being on your night shift and when the TikTok clock starts counting it out. Doop. You're like a guard, like Who the fuck? That's got to be so weird to be like, Yo, this penitentiary looks familiar. I know this guy, but he's got a million likes. I'll let him slide. Do these guys know they're popping?

I think, yeah.

Prison TikToks are like, They're fascinating.

Are prisoners into the TikTok lives right now?

How are they going to get the money?

They're in prison.

They're just-Oh, shit.

Thank you for the road.

-yum. -npc prison guy.

Thanks.

For the top ramen.

Imagine the guy sleeping next to his cell. What the fuck?

It's a doughnut. Donut. Why is everybody going live on TikTok now?

Apparently, there's a lot of money. -money.

But I don't.

Know how much...

We see him.

Apparently, the money is big. You make good money when you do the battles. That's when they're all like, All right, come on. Let's get us to like this many likes and this many likes.

Come on, guys. I need to see the amount that they make after one battle. I just.

Need to see what they're.

Doing that for.

There is no amount.

There is no amount. There's no amount. I'll do it. There's no way. What's your price, though? It was crazy. Yeah.

Man. I think it's one of those things where I wouldn't catch myself. I would do it and then I would say to a friend, Oh, man, I can't tonight. I got to go live on... I should probably not do that. I think once I talked about it.

But 40 hours a week, what's like the...

Oh, man. I mean, I need a Joe Regan type deal for that. -i need a 10 million guarantee.

-just like exclusivity.

I feel like the audience knows that it's like, he doesn't want to do this. I'd rather make less money and do what I love.

I'm not going to lie, there are some people that are really good at it. I feel like they really do want to be there and they're really interacting with the people that are gifting them.

I always cringe when it's like the four friends and they're all committing to do the live together. But I'm like, one of these friends has to be like, Guys, can we please cut this?

I'm so fucking bored. -have we made enough.

Money yet? -yeah. One of them has to not be.

Enjoying it. No, I really do appreciate the... There's just a few girls that I feel like do it really well. -what do you call that? -what-what do you.

Call that? What they do? -npc. -what's that? Like a non-playing character. You are almost like an avatar person on the internet.

-new.

York has so many of them. -oh, okay. Okay, yeah.

Do you think they ever show to the same corner? Like, Yo, this is my blog, dude. Dude, I'm Broadway in Thirds' NPC, bro. You got to go to Fourth. What is the repeating part about?

It's every time they donate that specific thing. So if they send a cherry, they're.

Like, Cherry. -or if it's like.

10 cherries. -ur, spicy chili.

They.

Keep up. Dude, half-cap. You might be doing.

This on the soft. I watch them a lot, dude.

Have you ever donated to get them to say it?

I've done spicy chili. I've never given you a spicy chili. How much.

Is that? You gave somebody a.

Spicy chili. I don't know. I've never had to spend money on it. They had to give them the free gifts. -that was also fucked up. -a rose is free.

Yeah, I did it. -you did it for Jason.

Wait, you did it for Jason?

Yeah, I gave him a fucking galaxy. You should have seen his reaction. He was flipping. He was doing backflips.

What's a galaxy equivalent to? It's like $20.

-it's like $20, box.

-yeah. But, dude, kids are going to run their parents' accounts dry because of this.

No, big time.

-kids are going to bankrupt mom and dad by sending Galaxy.

I'll tell you right now, if I found out my kid was sneaking using my credit card to pay for fucking Galaxy, yummy, yummy, hot dog, I would be livid.

It's the same reason casinos don't give you money and they give you coins. It doesn't feel real. So you're like, Yeah, I'll send her a watermelon. Why not? Then you're just like, $5, $5, $5. It's like a sick world we live in when you got to go to your account and be like, Yeah, we're doing pretty good. We got a couple of Kiwis this morning.

I already told myself, though, there's going to be one day where I'm going to do a live just like this, like the NPC character. I'm going to do it for a straight 30 minutes, nothing else but that.

Go for it.

I want to see.

Go for it, Zane. We're all behind you.

I won't do after that, but I truly want to see. But I have to commit to the bit. I have to commit. You have to. I can't laugh halfway through. I just got to commit and just end it.

You just got to learn what all the gifts mean and what to do for.

Each gift. No, I'm just going to come up with it on the spot.

Okay. What do you do until people start joining the chat room? Because the first 30 seconds, nobody's.

Doing.

Anything. What do you say?

I think, do they text each other? They're not real.

People.

They're not other influencers. No, how do they get other influencers to do the quadruple, live chat thing? Arewell, usually.

They're a friend of a friend, and then I think they allow you in the chat. If you follow them, they get notified. If they follow you, they get notified like, Oh, hey, this is a person I follow, and they're in the chat. -that's so bizarre. -i don't like doing it.

Wow, you could do whole episodes.

What kid were you? Were you chronically online? Were you a class clown kid? Were you in a bunch of chat rooms and forums?

I was on ChatRoulette.

Oh, ChatRoulette?

-chatroulette.

Omega. That's how you started?

You're trying to meet girls or trying to be funny?

I was showing my dig. What do you mean? No, I was an outside guy. All my friends played outside. My parents thought they were being wholesome. They're like, We're not going to get you an Xbox. You always have to be outside. Jokes on them. I started smoking weed when I was 14. I'm going to be outside. I'm going to do outside activities, dude. First time I smoked weed was out of a light bulb.

Oh.

Shit. Wow. Yeah, we're -I haven't.

Heard of that one before.

Wait, how do you do that?

I'll show you. Just like the bottom part you screw in, you just break the glass. Trust me, there's way better ways to smoke weed. But it was my first time smoking weed, and this other kid had smoked before. He was like, Oh, I'll make the bong. So you break the glass and then the metal part, you'd drill the hole. First of all, anytime you have to bring on a drill, just do real drugs.

-are you sure you were smoking weed?

-yeah, you're not smoking weed.

You guys are right. It might have been helpful. Yeah. No, but you break the bottom and the bottom part was the bowl. Then you put a pen cap in the bottom, and then that was like a pipe.

That is way harder than just rolling it in a piece of paper.

Or an apple. There's so many E-O-As.

If you grew up in California, there's plenty of head shops around.

Yeah, very bizarre. I didn't question it. I was in eighth grade on 420 smoking out of a.

Light bulb. This guy was a lot older than you.

He was younger. He was in seventh grade. Oh, wow. Yeah, this guy.

Is Jesse. Seventh grade weed, man.

Dude, you're smoking crack, my brother.

Do you think he was also winging it at the same time? He was like, No, we do this. He's trying to engineer it as he's going.

I think so. I saw it in an anti crack commercial. I saw it. Is that how they do it on TV?

What else do you need? I'd need a pen cap. Yeah, exactly.

I think he was riffing because he had an older brother who he got the weed from. So I'm sure he was like, the brother was like, Yeah, just find anything metal and use that. Then he was like, Oh, a light bulb.

Very bizarre. Heads up thinking, though.

It's impressive. Light bulb up top. You know what I'm saying? That's a good gift.

For.

Whoever you.

Smoked with. That's a good.

Sentimental gift.

To.

Give. Oh, yeah, I've been.

Talking about it. There she is.

That is cool. It's cute. But yeah, I was an outside guy. I was always like riding bikes.

And skating. Skateboarding or rollerblading?

I want you to take a guess and be honest.

You were a blader.

We got one blader.

You look like a skateboarder to me. Like from high school.

I want to say blader.

You.

Had the skates.

Skateboard.

Okay, two for two. Skateboard. Rollerblading. I can't do it. I can't ice skate. I tried ice skating like two years ago in Canada. I had to use the.

Little box thing. There's nothing wrong with it.

Kids are flying past.

-it's hard. -kids are.

Flying past. -the Penguin or whatever it is.

Dude, my brain couldn't process moving forward and staying stabilized.

You've seen me, man.

It's fucking tough. How good were you at your peak skateboarding? Did we almost go pro? Could we olly?

Could we kickflip? I was better at tech decking.

Let's be honest. You were in the tech deck, but were you into the medium size tech deck?

I know what you're.

Talking about, but no. It was hand tech deck. You do it like...

They were like-Heath. I thought that was with your feet, but you just had to be really good.

No, it wasn't.

You did?

I did. I know the ones he's.

Talking about. Wait, hand-decker. It's smaller than a pennyboard, but it's like this big, and you-Oh.

The bigger one.

No, not those. I thought you talking about.

This big. Probably the size of a Jersey Mike sub.

Yes.

I thought people were still on it with their feet. They're just.

Really-that's hands. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I was about to come to school with a chipped tooth and think what happened? I was tech-tech-tech-ing it up.

Dude, they were sick.

I just loved the bull. We would all get around and just have a.

Little party. Nobody was ever good at tech-tech.

There'd be one kid who would get his own custom grip tape and you're like, All right, okay. You're not getting signed for this. But we'd always play with them in seventh grade and we had this science teacher and she'd snatch them off our desk and we weren't looking. She had a whole lunch bag. She would taunt us with them. She would taunt us with them. She was an interesting lady.

She was proud.

Did you guys do a Healy's phase at all? Anyone?

Yes. I actually couldn't ride those.

Yeah, I couldn't.

I couldn't get used to it. I don't know what was like.

I was obsessed with Healy's. I have a pair of Heleys at home. Still? Yeah, I got Tommy Hillfigure Heleys.

What the fuck?

Dm Heleys. They'll send you a pair, man.

-heleys said me.

-come out.

On stage. Matt, do you have to do you have to have one foot down and one foot up in.

Order to... Yeah, it's one foot, whatever your dominant foot for. You got to have a little bit of a hustle and.

Then.

Just.

Hop in. You know when somebody's holding a door open for you?

That type of run? Yeah, I'm coming.

It's fun. Did you have the ones with the soaps on the bottom where you could grind on a curb?

You know what I'm talking about? Soaps are actually made from my hometown, Carrollton. -that's where Soaps was made. -what the fuck? -it's Soaps, yeah.

-carleton, Texas? -yeah, Carrollton, Texas, right by Plano, North Dallas.

-do you flex that a lot.

Or not? You know what? I learned this when I was an adult because I was looking up soaps and I'm like, Where were their headquarters? And it was founded in Carrollton. Because when I was a kid, everybody had these, but I didn't realize they were actually from.

Our neighborhood. It was Healers with No Wheel, but in the middle it was plastic. So you could grind on the curve.

-sonic. But guys would do it at the skatepark. -yeah. -like crazy.

They'd be running and then just jump and grind.

There's a guy on TikTok who wears giant Jinko jeans and then does on the curb. He listens to Walkman. I don't use the word vibe a lot, but he's.

A vibe. You know what I don't get? Either people that were doing extreme sports with a Walkman because you couldn't turn it, any movement with the walk. People jogging with Walkmans? Not possible. But all the commercials showed them walking, but you have to hold it like a pizza box.

And it didn't fit in any pocket. Remember backpacks would have a slit in the back?

Yeah.

I did it once and I was trying to change the song, like slapping my bag.

You had to get the wrist belt or the arm belt.

Oh, yeah.

The workout bag.

Yeah, that's all I remember my mom had. I remember.

There was a hoodie that came out that had speakers in the hood. And I was.

Like, Oh, this is the thing. No, the one that was sick was the shoelace on the hood to pull it tight. Yes. It had an earbud at the end of it. And then the thing came out the bottom.

You can just never.

Wash the jacket. Yeah, that was the thing.

You couldn't wash it. It's raining like fuck. Mom, Christmas better come early.

I thought that was the craziest thing.

Or like they would have them in your sleeve and people would put their arm.

Their hand next to the ear. People were doing anything. We needed music that bad in class. What is that? You really did. That's all we had. You had to wire it through your arm.

My favorite is the kid who's on a family vacation and he clearly hates his family and he's always got one ear pod in, the other one's dangling, and he's just moping along with the family. He's like, Hey, put the music down.

In or out?

What are we doing? Yeah, this year's family, this year's juicer world.

What's happening? It is crazy that they had to do both at the same time.

It just helps me work better.

Yeah. No judgment.

I can't. Because if I'm listening to something, I'm singing the lyrics in my head. And if I'm singing lyrics, I can't retain anything else.

Would you-Oh, no, no, no.

No, no. I'm saying that's my phone. That's my phone.

Do you really not know what your phone looks like?

Oh, really?

Matt, be honest. Is your wallpaper to remind you?

I actually just did it today. What is it? I just have the Snapchat thing on there just to remind me. Because sometimes I'll go about and I'm like, Fuck, I didn't take any pictures.

But it also matches your hat. So I don't know if it's an esthetic thing.

What's my hat today? It's yellow. Snapchat hat.

Yeah, I didn't know if it was a fit thing. What do you guys put for your wallpaper? If you're a single man, what do you put? Because if you're a relationship, it's probably the person you're dating.

Well, sometimes I always used to have my wife, and then I would look down at her phone and I'm not the wallpaper. How dare you do that, Todd. What was her wallpaper? I think it's like Auburn football.

Mine's me and my boys in Yosemite at a lake.

Both great photos might have had.

You still got the Charcuterie? Yeah.

Both like HD photos. I love you. Matt, what is yours? What was it before?

It was Ash from Fantastic Mr. Fox. That was my Halloween costume. I had that as my wallpaper to people be like, What is it? Yeah, that is smart. Done. Then before that, I think it was a picture of Patricia and I.

There's too much pressure with wallpaper.

So much.

It's so much. What is your wallpaper?

It's me and my parents. Actually, from the day we filmed the special, it's just the three of us.

It's just a good photo. -how many siblings do you have?

I have one sister. She didn't make the cut. But, come.

On now. Is she going to be there tonight?

No, she's in New York, but she was at the typing.

She was there. Is it going to be weird sitting in an audience watching yourself performing for.

The people?

I specifically was like, I don't want to do a viewing party, but I want to have it in the background. It's like a cocktail bar, but it's just going to be up.

Because I am.

The most in my head. Even when I show my friends a sketch for notes. I have two editors I work with, I'll leave the room. I'll be like, What do you guys think? And then I leave because I want unbiased. Because if I'm in the room, I don't want fake laughs. Here's the thing. I think the special is hilarious. I've watched it thousands of times, and I still laugh at parts that I forget about. I think it's really funny. I just don't want to get it... In my head, it's so perfect to my head. I don't want to think that it's not perfect because I looked over and then somebody at the premiere was like, Oh, should I be laughing? Yeah. It's just going to be in the background, the ambiance. But just because I don't want to put like a gun... Watch it if you want to watch it, but I don't want to put a gun in people's head and be like, Are you here for the alcohol or for the jokes?

It's also weird when you are recommending a movie and you have somebody watch a movie with you that they haven't seen and you're watching them watch it and there's that pressure. But the movie is of yourself. Yes. So it's like double pressure.

Yeah, I've just been at premieres before, and this sounds like a flex, and I don't mean it to be at all. I've been at premieres where I've been in a thing, and I get really anxious when my part is coming up because I'm looking around like...

It feels...

I don't know. That was me in Rock of Ages when I took everybody to go see it from my...

It.

Was in Rock of Ages. Because you didn't know how much you're going to be.

In the movie. We had no idea. That's also true. When you're like, watch it back, how much were you in it?

Maybe 10 seconds.

But it was like, did you have the camera just on you or was it more of a...

It was like me and the main guy. I was his roadie for his band in the movie. So I'm up here. I'm pointing at shit over here. I'm like, doing this. It's so cool. There was a couple of little cuts of it that...

Did you get one of these? Hey, buddy, can we calm down on the...

How is.

The pointing?

Tom Cruise is looking back at you.

I don't like that millennials are getting shit talk now.

We're getting dipped.

Rolled right into it. I'm like, no, no, no.

It was coming.

Oh, dude, I saw this TikTok where this kid was singing and he's like, he's like high school and he's making a bag. He's like, I wish I was born back in the day. And he goes, I wish I could take it back to 1999. And I'm like, That's the year.

That's as far back as you.

Want to go? No, but that's a year that you can be like, Dude, back in the day.

-wow.

-like crazy.

-90s are getting got. I'm like, Guys.

-yeah.

Or the millennials are recording how they take five seconds before they start talking. That's where they're getting.

Shit on. Or the zoom in at heightened moments when you're doing a video.

You're not going to be like.

You're not going to be.

This. Snarky Mark, how he's been doing those.

They.

Missed their transitions. They'll just jump and then go up.

No, they got us good with the transition.

They're like, So today I'm eating at this restaurant. I'm hungies.

But the problem is we know all those people, and I don't really think as many people make stuff like that as much now, but like...

I think there's just weird people in any generation.

I just don't like how millennials are the easy target now. I was like, Let's make fun of boomers. Life-alert idiots.

We weren't done with them.

I honestly wouldn't want to be in any other generation. I still feel like we're in the best.

Yeah, it's great. We're delusional. We think we can fix anything with electrolytes and we're like, We're fucking powerful.

I think it's good, though, because we got the no technology into technology.

Yeah, it's great because we got to live both worlds. Because I lived outside. I was the outside kid. How old you guys when you got cell phones, by the way?

I.

Was a senior in.

High school. Senior in high school.

Yeah, I was 17. Yeah, I got mine in sixth grade.

Wow. Wow, you got.

It early.

Yeah. Your parents loved you.

They didn't trust me. They were like, I didn't know what the fuck was that.

Yeah, they were just.

Trying to track you. I got the AT&T singular phone in senior year. It was like that late. I was.

Like.

Damn. Remember that shit?

At&t singular? Yeah, AT&T used to be called Singular before.

It was like.

A little.

Orange, man. With the balls on the hands.

Yeah, half the time, my mom would just give me her phone just so I could call home if I need to.

Let her know.

Yeah. That happened before I got.

The phone. Did you get walkie talkies, though? If you were outside, you were out on your bikes? We had.

Walkie talkies. When we go camping, we'd get them and you could hijack other people's channels. That was the best camp. You'd go to a different channel. Martha, come home. Martha's a bitch. Who is that?

Walkie talkies are sick, though. Still to this day, they're really cool.

Yeah. What's the radius on those bad boys?

I mean, it depends. Like a couple of miles.

That's.

Pretty good. It's crazy. You're tapping into a frequency. When people think about how crazy that is. There's just waves going all around your head right now and you just dial it into a specific frequency and it'll carry it and somebody else can dial into that and it'll pick it up.

You know what blows my mind is airdrop. How the fuck does that work?

Dude, don't get me started.

When it doesn't work, I'm like, Give me a gun. Oh, project failed? How? What do you mean? But the fact that you can just be like, Hey, this video, just have it. It's on your phone now. Where does it? In my head, it's just like a little lob.

Like a little beer pump. Why is the airdrop so much faster than a text or anything else? Why is the airdrop just so quick? -it keeps the quality?

Yes, it.

Blows my mind. I love the vibration that when an airdrop hits, it's like... That's why. It can'tor you do Apple Pay, it's.

Like.

Iffy, kaching. I don't.

Care if you have an Android. The texting doesn't bother me. It's the airdrop that pisses me off. If I'm working with an editor, I'm like, Can you airdrop me? Well, actually, Iknow. Can I send it through Venmo?

That's.

Good. Technology, you from Techdex and technology.

If you found out that everything we're living is a simulation, what would be something that you would look back and be like, Oh, my God, it was so obvious. You would be like.

Oh, my God.

-you would have tell you later.

-bluetooth. How do calculators know everything? You can be like, 97 divided by 4400. How did.

We fall for that? That was something that we could possibly have.

-is any of it right? -it's insane. I mean, it is, But like...

Air conditioning is a good one. You mean to tell me there's something that I could set to make the temperature exactly what I want it to be?

I feel like that's pretty logical. No?

Think about it. There's something on the outside of your house right now, and I'm just going to go push 67 degrees and now my house is... Obviously, we look at it because yeah, I know, it makes sense. But if somebody was like, You really.

Think about it, it's pretty wild. I'm like that with planes too. When I see a plane take off, I'm like, Excuse me. Let me get a good look at that. It's just this massive hunk of metal just using jet fuel to propel itself through the sky and go across the world.

How are we not falling? This heavy piece of fucking machinery that how are we not flying?

Also, cruises. Cruises are pretty... You ever seen a cruise on the water. How the.

Fuck that don't sink? They're just like a bit because there's air in the hull. It's buoyant. What do you mean? But it still weighs a billion pounds.

There's whole cities. I don't know if you've seen a modern-day cruise.

There's a mall in it and there's roller coasters.

On top.

Water slides. They literally have the Superman ride. I'm like, Just go to Six Flags. There's so much shit on the boat you forget you're.

On a boat. You don't need that many activities.

I would take so much Molly on that thing.

There's too much on there. There's no-I'm not going to pause on that.

It's just-Let there be specific things.

Put boat stuff on there. Do a whole fishing deck. I don't know where you fish. Just think of.

Things you're doing water. There could be a Padres game on that beach. You could do anything on there.

You know what I want to see on a cruise ship? Like a whole wipe out.

Like a-Like a wipe out? Like obstacle course?

Yeah, like an obstacle course. Like an overwater obstacle course.

I don't know if you've seen the types of people going cruises.

Yeah, I know. What is it, Matt?

Oh, cruises are for the newlywed, the nearly dead, and the overly fed.

There you go.

Where did you.

Hear that? Out of a book, I think.

You got to get rolling to your thing?

I do got to get rolling pretty soon. You got to go to your release party. Guys, thank you so much.

For having me. Of course. Thank you, man. Thanks for coming on. It's all so funny. I've been wanting to do the show for a while, so thank you for having me. Thank you.

For letting me put it on the special.

And see you guys at the next Pica Ball event or something.

Congrats again. All right, lunch, love you, man. Thank you, man. Love you guys. Again, make sure to check out Trevor Wallace's new special on Amazon Prime, Pterodactyl comes out on November 14th, which is right now. Make sure to go.

Yeah, go watch it. Make sure to check out our patron, patron. Com/zane and Heath. We do early access to all these episodes. You get a few days early and it's all going to be ad-free. We also do a bonus episode every single month. We do a live Q and A every single month.

And for many episodes every month.

And we keep these episodes rolling for another 20, 30 minutes, however long, we just hang out. It's like an extended version. So you get one of those every single episode as well.

Yeah, and all for five dollars a month and you get everything in the archive. You can check out these episodes every Monday, audio form on your favorite podcast apps. And on Tuesdays, we post a video form of these episodes on our YouTube channel, YouTube. Com/zane and Heath.

All right, guys, we'll see you next week. We love you.

Tata. We love you.

Peace.