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Welcome, welcome, Tom, to armchair expert choked over there. I really do. There's a lot going on.
I'm so excited about our guests. But anyways, I'm Dan Shepherd. Hi, Dan. You are Monica Miles. I am. Amy Poehler is here today. I can't believe it. Old friend of mine, she graciously allowed me to start calling her Baber's.
She called her husband and he her. And then I got invited in.
So sometimes you'll hear me refer to her as Baber's. And that's why I feel very proud of that.
Yeah. You should be jealous. Yeah, I want to be. You'll be a Baber's, OK. I can tell because she loved you and she even sent me a text afterwards saying I love Monica. My brain can't compre. You don't want to comprehend why I don't need to tell you who Amy Poehler is, but I will anyway. She's an actress, a comedian, a writer, producer and a director. Of course, Parks and Rec, SNL sisters mean girls, baby mama, wet, hot American Summer, the best host ever of the Golden Globes in the history of the Golden Globes.
And she has a new movie coming up March 5th on Netflix that she directs and stars in called Moxie.
Maxy's A are really, really cool take on the sexist and toxic world of high school and told in a very irreverent, fun way, but confronting all that shit.
In the episode, I think we say March 3rd. Well, this on the Pronouncers, March 5th.
OK, so if in the episode we say March 3rd and it's March 4th. Sorry. Yeah.
Added to your list on March 3rd and then watch it on March 5th. Yes. OK, please enjoy our favorite Amy Poehler. We are supported by best fiends.
Monica, I take blasphemes with me everywhere. Is there anything you take with you everywhere. Actually no chapstick.
OK, so it's my chapstick wifey's. You know, it's a mobile puzzle game, so it's always with me on my phone and it has thousands of levels plus new content added all the time. So I never run on entertainment.
Do you play it on set when you're like waiting? I played on set. I play it in airports. The best thing is, is you do not need cell service or Wi-Fi to play it.
And now a lot of my other friends are playing bass, so we're always getting after each other to see who's at the highest level, which is currently Eric.
Oh, it is. Yeah. I love this game so much. It's the perfect balance of fun and challenging and I can't stop playing because I just want to keep upgrading to all the little friends so that they can reach their full potential. Monica, I'm like a cheerleader.
Oh my little creatures to succeed. That's cute. OK, I'm a little bit obsessed with it. I think you will be to download Best Fiends Free today on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the ah best fiends. We are supported by Ash.
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He's not changed. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, louvres, favors were doing it. Yeah. Oh. Oh, because I'm so happy to see you. Baber's. How do we feel about complimenting women on their looks? It's a bad look, right?
Is that gross? Are you asking about me?
Because I'll take it any day of the week.
I watch your Sandmeyer and I was like, papers is so beautiful. Yeah. I mean, they're so beautiful. Thanks. But it's been obvious.
I've been in love with you since we met. Right. All of us. Yeah.
Right back at you.
I feel like how I look is a constant state of anxiety for me. So I really appreciate when you tell me that I look good and I laugh really hard on this podcast when you're like, I would much rather someone tell me I look good than I'm funny and like me too.
Or smart or good father like anything wants to go one one. When I say I don't know that I've ever had such a bonding feeling. Is listening to you on Terry Gross years ago promoting your book and you said, you know, I got to a point in high school where I looked in the mirror and I said, look, this isn't going to be your thing.
Yeah. I'm not going to run with these voices.
I'm going to lose because I'm like you. I'm like you going to say I apologize in advance because I'm so excited to be doing this right now. I'm such a fan. I kind of feel like I've won a fan contest. I'm going to do a lot of this, both of you, which is I'm going to be like I'm like you, I'm like you, but I like to do things I'm good at.
Yeah. So in the Beauty Race, I very thankfully and early on realized I'm not going to win here, I'm not going to get a lot of wins here. And so it felt good. Just pretend like I was self-selecting out. Yeah.
But also the beauty races changed when you were in high school. It was one thing and now it's not.
So you are winning the beauty race in many ways. Well, I wonder if winning it is like not racing. Exactly. I think that might be the new way to win it. Yes, but you know, markets is constant, boring, disappointing thing that we just keeping like. I can't believe I'm still being so rough in my own mind about my face. Like, this is going to be my face. When are we going to become friends?
Like, when is it going to happen? And the answer is, I don't know, right before you die, the minute before you die.
I never feel that way. I just in retrospect, I'm like, oh, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Like the only joy. I guess I'll go like I'll see a picture of me. When I was twenty one, I was like, I thought I had a terrible body. This is a fine physique for a person to have.
Oh yeah. There's that great moment in Schitt's Creek when Catherine over here is telling that character to take as many nude pictures of herself as she can at a certain age because you're going to really, really want them. And it's very true.
Yeah. No matter how bad you think you look in forty years, you're going to love how you looked.
You're going to love the way you look in forty years. I guarantee it.
I was just going to say, look, you look I guarantee what's funny here.
You already say this is how we're similar because the whole time I was reading about you this morning, which is again a bizarre thing to do for someone you've known for fifteen years. But I kept thinking, how do we pinpoint this thing that the Baber's and I both have? And I was curious what thing you would say. So one thing that I like about you and I is we have a class warfare struggle.
One hundred percent. That's why I love listening to your pockets, is I'm obsessed with class. I apply it to a lot of places. I mean, the work I'm doing now, honestly, is to like take a step back and look at me like I take such pride in how I got my stuff my way.
And now I'm taking a really hard look like, do you want to just be real honest about the doors that were open for you, the opportunities you had, like all that stuff? It's really hard because I take such pride.
You know, it was helpful for me as I was doing a press junket with someone for a very long time and they were telling their story, which is virtually the same as mine, you know, like modest background, single mom, all this stuff.
And at a certain point, I was just like and no one gives a shit. I don't give a shit. Why Earth anyone care about my story? I'm telling like, you know, I know also the story that you're telling is like, is it true?
Is it really? It can't be. I know the needle keeps going to the same groove for me over and over again. I went to my parents for, like, you know, you always describe us is like lower, lower middle class. I would say we were middle class and I was like, oh, right, OK.
I think I'm sweetening every time I tell a story. Well, you guys talked about this, about memory on your show, but like, I'm. Anita, with the Malcolm Gladwell stuff, the idea that every time you take down a story from the shelf, you corrupt it, right?
Right. And you have a brother like, how often are you talking to your brother? And you're like, no, we weren't even in that house yet.
I think it was either what I was listening to you guys talk about or when I listen to revisionist history, exactly that. Where we were together on September 11th, my brother and I, we were living together and I went back to him and said, remember, we were breaking down that day and we had totally our stories had converged. And I was reminded of that experiment done the day after September 11th, where everybody wrote down their memories and then kept checking in with those memories anyway.
Like your actual personal origin story is one you take down over and over and over again off the shelf to tell people and you correct time.
And of course, you would imagine if ever there were a day, you guys would both remember, you would have taken the time to committed to memory. It would be 9/11. And even that isn't bulletproof.
No. In fact, I think it's more likely to be corrupted because it's so heightened.
Yeah. So, yeah. So we have this class warfare chip on her shoulder and then I too, similarly, my mom will say, I mean, yeah, we did live in those welfare apartments, but it was very brief, you know, and we have a pretty good house but were in third grade and I'm like, yeah, we did. And then it got nicer in that. But I don't like that part of the story.
Well, I think that I like you. I like to identify as an outsider who worked their way in.
I take great pride in that. And that's part of going back to what we were even talking about in the very beginning, which is like, you know what, I don't care how I look like. It's all about like self-selecting out so that you can't get rejected first year, like, you know. And then, yeah, that's what I've been working on, is like, can I take a harder look at the opportunities I was given, the invitations I had, the time in which I came up in this business is so different.
And so I don't know. Everything feels like it's scrambled eggs a little bit in a good way.
I agree for me, I think that light started penetrating me in terms of white privilege was a term I fucking despise when I first heard it, because, again, it's so against my narrative. I didn't have a shot in hell. No one could have done what I did, you know? And then I was like, oh, no, I would have had a twenty year prison sentence at some point with the many times I had cocaine on my possession, like, oh no, that isn't the reality.
It was different for you. And so I think that was the crack where I was like, and I'm tall.
There's data that says tall people get listen to more. You know, I don't know that's in the mix.
I love Tulka, I hate short people. My guy is the only person I despise short people.
But one hundred percent. I mean I feel like starting comedy when I did so much of a skill set that you needed was to be able to hang with the guys. I took great pride in it. It felt like an accomplishment. And so I have the ability to identify with men easily and fast and I love being around women and identify with. But I finally like, oh, I've had a lot of practice being in rooms where I've had to figure out very quickly how to fit in or whatever and navigate.
And it's a skill like you just learn a skill just like anything else. And you're like, this is interesting. This is my forehand, OK?
Do I need to hit the ball with it as much? Should I work on my backhand? I don't know. I'm just digging this time. I was just saying a friend of mine the other day there should be another term besides like mid-life crisis. Like everyone likes to say, she he's having a midlife crisis. I'd love to rebrand some version of that where you started having like a I don't know, a midlife discovery or breakthrough. Renaissance.
Oh, Renaissance. My some midlife happiness. I do think, though, women, especially in comedy, I have found love, that sense of like I'm just one of the guys and it's so patriarchal because all you're saying is like I'm as good as the guys.
I mean, I keep relearning that over and over again. You know, when I was coming up and, like, improvising on stage, it was a big deal to make sure that you were not sexualized on stage, you know, and that was self-imposed. It wasn't like anybody was telling me that nobody was wagging their finger at me, but I was really making sure that my body was hidden under tons of, you know, mop turtlenecks, whatever I was wearing at the time, that that was like a successful way.
That improv Olympic you famously would improv in North Face Gear. That's right. Head to toe.
Sleeping bag. Yeah, I feel like that to on improv stage is like, you know, by the time I came along, there was this whole indie improv scene that was huge. We'd have shows and we'd have to sit through. Many, many shows to wait for our turn, and you would do you judge people's health? The women, of course, the girl was like, oh my God, she's wearing this shirt. Like, you should not be wearing a skirt.
You should be bun in your hair, zip up hoodie, kahar shoes. Yeah.
I mean, I remember when I was pretty broad city, they had such funny stuff about living in New York City and walking around and being sexualized for no reason. And I remember being very maternal, like, you know, if this outfit is uncomfortable for you. And they were like, I picked it like, old lady, what's your problem? It's awesome.
There are so many layers to it because like, I watch Chelsea Handler's Instagram account and she'll show her boobs and then to watch the comments on Ferral, it's like it's feminist know it's offensive and it's like, oh, my God, the scrutiny that's just on women in general, like, I could be the worst that I would be accused of is just trying to show off my body.
It wouldn't be a black spot on male prog, not taking men back 15.
Oh, I'm not a representative of anything. And every woman is a representative of women.
Yeah, that's right. And every project has to be speaking on behalf of all women. And every failure is a failure that all women feel. I'm always fighting for us to just enjoy mediocrity like the mediocre middle instead of everything having to be so loaded. And so I'm really trying to deliver that for you guys today.
You've opened my eyes to like a couple of really interesting concepts that just really stuck with me. And you probably heard me repeat it on here three dozen times, which is you the first person that said to me, you know, I'll be doing a press line with, well, I'm right next to him. I can hear what they're asking him. We have the same two children. We have the same fucking career. And every goddamn question I'm getting is how do you juggle this, i.e., implication?
You're a shitty mom and no one's worrying about how Will's doing.
People get really into the question, where are your kids? I've been asked so many times.
I've been asked a couple of times during press where people feel like it's not even how are you doing it? It's so where are they? I'm like, right now.
And what they really want to say is, where did you leave them? Yeah. Who's taking care of them?
Where did you what did you do with them?
But I can talk about working mothers stuff and I know you guys know it and you experience it with Kristen. Like the amount of conversations that I have when I'm talking about work, about my kids is interesting and the questions asked. And also just even during this pandemic, every mom is and dads and don't get me wrong, but moms are working from home.
They're teaching their kids. It's just like, wow, we found yet another way to make them feel bad is like they're not teaching their oh, well enough.
So there are a lot of questions like how are you doing it? Where are they? How are they doing? And really, it's always like, how are you doing? Or are you doing a bad job sometimes how you hear and.
Oh yeah. So you did that one and then there was another one. I don't know if you like this one, but I'm going to start by saying when I interviewed Carmen, I went and listen to his podcast and he had interviewed Tiffany, had issues with which was its own funny thing, because I had done that and it went terribly and I was delighted to hear it gone shitty for him, too. But it started by him saying, do you remember when we first met at this party?
And he said to her, like, yo, can you believe your billboards up here and your things there?
And you're on this hip thing and you about, can you even believe this? And she said, I can. Can you move?
Oh, and I was like, Oh, get it, girl.
I remember hearing that from Poller while we were promoting Baby Mom. Your face was all over every taxi cab. There were billboards and you had some friends in and some of them just couldn't comprehend it. And they kept asking you if you can comprehend it. And you're like, yeah, I've been working at this for fucking twenty years.
Yes. This is the result of that.
Yeah. You know, with some age and wisdom that what they really were saying is like, I haven't seen you in a long time and I know this version of you, but again, not only with women, but often with women, there's this expectation to come at all of your hard work and success with real sense of humility.
Much like you, I have a little bit of oppositional defiance, just a little well, you know, like if you're at a concert and someone's like, go this way, I'm like, well, what about that way? I don't like being told where to go.
So I guess I get kind of cocky in the moment and it can be a little confusing. You know, I remember we were at. Can or can I say can I think, again, I would hate someone who said can think it because they know they probably ban and they're probably not Connecticut.
So I know it's I want to I want you to know that I don't know, but I do know I do. This is like girls having to act dumb and exactly perpetuating that. But this is this is a higher call. I know you're right. It's warfare. We're in the movement.
So I'm at this, like, dumb French thing. And Hoity-toity, what are you doing today?
And we were there for I think it was inside out, which still has to be part of that movie. But I felt no claim in it. But there was some reporter or something. It was like, can you believe that you're in? I think he was saying something like, can you believe it? You know, and that was just and I remember just being like, I can.
Yes, I've been doing a lot of work in animated films for a long time. And I'd like to think that Pete Docter saw my work and thought I would be the right fit. And yes, this makes sense to me.
And everyone was like and they're just always a little bit of an expectation that you're supposed to be like, thank you so much for the invite to the party and who am I to even be here?
You know, it's just like the feminism thing, though, because there's like nine layers. So you're right, a I think it's getting asked disproportionately to people of color women, but no one's surprised. I got invited to a party. You know, they're not saying that to me, like they're saying it to you or Christian or Monica, whoever else. And what is also true is you and I or I'll speak for myself, I assume the absolute worst.
So if you ask a question, I go to what what could be the fucking subtext of this? So can you believe that I hear you don't deserve this.
That's literally what I hear. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They might as well just said that I would have been just as offended. You don't deserve this, by the way. I don't even think I deserve it yet. I'll defend that.
I deserve a hard core.
You double down and then I go home and I don't think I deserve it, which is why I'm so fucking defensive about it to begin with, because no one deserves it.
I mean. Yeah, exactly. But the word deserves in quotes I know I'm trying to figure out every time I get activated, as they say in therapy, every time I get active, I'm like, oh, what is this about? And I know you guys talk about this a lot in the show, which is like basically the things that work for you and get you to a certain place. Like suddenly you're like, are these things I want to hold onto you?
Like, yeah, that hutzpah, if you will, got me so far, like really, really far. And now I'm trying to like unravel a little bit and be like, OK. So when I get defensive that way, do I want to, I don't know, sit in uncomfortableness of it and not do my usual thing?
Yeah, it's counter attack, counter counterattack and quick thinking and self advocating. All that stuff is the stuff that I feel I can do well. But now I'm like, is that working for me? You know, there's nothing I would rather do less than in real time. Say like, wow, that really hurt my feelings. Like I would rather pull my pants down than do that right now.
I like this motherfucker is never going to know that they hurt my feelings and they're never going to know.
Yes. I won't give them the pleasure. And it's just fun to think about what would be the thing that gives you the the willies like that you have to try to do.
That's it. It's embarrassingly hard because I'm sure every time you've done it, every time I've done it, I mean, literally almost one hundred percent that is met with, like, your dream reaction.
Totally. And I like to think I'm a vulnerable person and I'm able to do all that work you're talking about. In my own mind, it's just in the moment I can take it away. And they meant this and I meant this. And I can what you call like self like if there's a problem, I go into my ship, close the thing. Yeah, I'll be back. Come out and you're like, could you maybe work it out in real time with the person?
Like I mean, I've heard you guys on the show. It's fascinating because it's like any kind of couples therapy, basically, which is like in real time, can you be, you know, interdependent? Can you stand being in front of the person that you're working it out with? And it's hard work.
Yeah, I to do that. And by the way, I find that that's great progress for me to get in a fight with Bell and go, you know what, I'm really emotional about this cabinet door thing. I'm going to go in the bedroom and figure it out and that's been a great bit of progress. But to what you just said, also in reality, I'm only comfortable if I can go figure it all out. I come out and I tell you everything I figured out.
I now understand it completely.
It's controlling. Yes, I'm the same way. Control is wonderful. It control is the best.
It's the dream, the dream state. It's a dream as like I already felt it. I already know. I know what you're going to say. I know. I know what I did wrong. I figured it out and I got to listen to you.
So I was doing this work on myself. I figured something out about you.
It's almost a detriment to be smart in that way, which you both are. And I like to think I am to you. You're very which is like, yeah, you're thinking on all these levels and you're figuring it all out. And you then arrive at the argument with everything laid out. You're the prosecutor of the argument and then you get flustered because that person is a human who's going to say something you didn't expect. And then you get thrown off and you have to go away again and it blows up.
You know, it's like there's no resolution.
You've excluded the person from the whole process. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And you've avoided the feeling. Yeah, yeah. It's like anything to avoid the feeling.
I mean, it happens all the time in therapy. It's like so maybe we should just sit with this feeling. I'm like oh sit with feeling like I'd rather climb a mountain.
Yeah. Than sit with the feeling of have to do it.
But all that is as I understand it, heading towards Buddhism. I think that's what Buddhism is right. Is just like you have constant fluctuation of emotions, you just experience them, you don't try to control them, you don't try to make them more heightened. You don't try to make them less. And it's actually the craving of a different state, which is the discomfort. And I feel like all of this therapy and all the stuff ultimately is probably heading towards their will.
One day I'll read a book maybe about Buddhism. I don't know. Are you into it?
Super into it. Super in Buddhism. It's so funny. This is why the country is so fascinating, because for control freaks, when it started, I kind of felt like that feeling like I had to go up on stage and give a speech and somebody like, put acid in my coffee or something. Like I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have so much to do. I don't want to trip.
I don't want to trip right now. I'm not in the mood. I, I have to go give this speech. And so the first couple of weeks, if, like, I was tripping and having to do really like adult things, you know, give a speech, take care of my kids, all this stuff. Then I looked around, I got really resentful of the people that were having a good trip.
So they were like, you know what I'm doing? I'm just gardening.
And I was like, fuck you, like, you know? And then I was like, well, this trip's going to take a while. I might as well get into it.
And I got into it, sat down, try to let go.
And then I was like, OK, what am I supposed to learn while I'm here? I get better, figure it out like. Somebody is controlling what can I do, and so now in that space was like the trip is lasting a little longer than week.
This is a very strong Blood-Red. Does anybody have Xanax?
Nobody. Yeah. OK, I'm drinking a couple. Heineken's smoking pot and trying to lie down anyway.
And so to your point, the sitting in the present moment that you're speaking of, that is all. It's like a life's work. And this is making us do that over and over and over again. It's fascinating.
Yeah. I learned how much I rely on things in the future. So my calendar generally has something coming up. And if I don't have that this escape I have, it's scary. I once I sit here indefinitely, OK, no movement. How will I distract myself? Exactly.
I'm in my office right now. We had our whole calendar for this year, all of our production stuff that we're doing. And, you know, we had two shows that paused in New York that were getting ready to shoot. And like all this stuff to shoot, it's all up on this board in different colored tape and all this stuff. And then at some point in May, I just came in and I took four pieces of paper and I just wrote Don't worry about it.
And I just taped it over the board because it was like it's gone so long gone. And look, I realize that people's versions of that are a lot bleaker than what I'm describing. Oh, yeah. But the loss of control and the lessons there-in are like, you know, you don't get that in a lifetime unless usually unless you're ill.
Yeah, that's true. It's true. Breezy. Like I was even trying to figure out, is there a neutral way to talk about this time? So I was thinking like maybe I should call it the pause, like maybe that's what I should call it. It does feel like everything is truly paused.
I think it's a little bit too like the nude photos when you're younger in that I had some awareness that I know I'm going to look back on this and go like, holy shit, that was crazy. Once in ten generations gift and what a fucking waste that I enjoy. Like, you know, you'll hear people that were on Seinfeld going like, yeah, I just wish I had realized I was like, oh yeah. I kind of I have that feeling a lot like in retrospect.
So, yeah, I kind of had that thought of like I better enjoy this because it's, it's so rare and I bet I'll miss it.
I just want to echo what you're saying is it's just very hard to not know what comes next, even though we don't.
But for people like here I go.
For people like you and me, it's really Hynde's twins, identical twins.
I'm the twin that didn't get any nutrients like I was born.
Oh, no, no. You get all the brains and everything.
My therapist at the very beginning of the pandemic said something really interesting. She was like, the pandemic makes us feel like we're out of control. But really what it's doing is highlighting that we never had control. And that's really hard for our brains to comprehend.
I think about the story a friend told me a long time ago, which is a girl. And again, this could be a made up story. But they told me a story about a girl who was walking in like the Swiss Alps or something with her friend, and she's walking in the snow and it's nighttime in there at a ski resort and they're talking and chatting. It's really dark. And she hears her friend go. That's it, and then 20 seconds later, a big smash and then 10 seconds later, another smash, and they had been walking on the side of a mountain.
For 20 minutes and she this girl, step along and fell off the mountain again, this could be like some children of the people are pretending actually happening. I could be.
So if there's any listeners that are like, yeah, I just read that to my kids today, but I think about it all the time is that we are like always walking. You know, if we knew how little control we had, we would not be able to handle it. I know. I pretend I have a ton.
Well, conversely, if you are the girl on this walk in, this really happened. Also contact us so we can substantiate. Yes.
Or some of the words. We're assuming that maybe it was a small drop.
And Dad, I would just love to maybe take a meeting and make a movie out of your story and just.
Yeah, probably will probably go the streaming route.
Now, just given the limited series like something fun for a living.
Oh, again, from now on, we should refer to shows that we don't sell as super limited.
So stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.
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Can I talk about how fun it was to make baby momma with you because I have such fond memories of you and I doing that together? I really do. When I think back on it, it's nothing but like fun. Laughs Goof around. Yes.
So here's a couple of compliments I'm going to force you to listen to. And I've said them on here and you've probably heard them, which is one of my favorite things about you. And a thing that I most admire about you is that you have always gone out of your way to bring everyone up with you. And I have not done that. Like I have been so fearful so many times, like I don't even know if I'm here. I don't think I have the leverage to bring anyone else.
And it's shameful. There are times that I could have done it and I haven't. And you always, always done it. It's so impressive and admirable. And then I ended up being one of those people. So we met because when I were doing Let's Go to prison, I liked you immediately. I remember you visiting in Illinois. And I was like I felt like Bill Murray was there because I was legitimately, legitimately. You were my favorite SNL cast member of like a decade.
I just was obsessed with how great you were in your take. And so I was a legit fan when you showed up. It was so exciting. Then we got along really well and then I had a few stinkers in a row. That movie included. I don't think anyone is dying to put me in a movie. And you really went to bat and you're like, you guys are hiring tax to play Carl Loomis, and that'll be that. We'll see you guys at the table read and we got to do that.
Oh, did I have to go to talking about corrupting our story? Did I have to go to bat for you? I don't imagine I did.
I just want to pause you there, OK? I wonder if I mean, I was one hundred percent excited about it and I like Christian. I have no memory. So you're the memory keeper. And by the way, congratulations, because then you get to tell a story.
But but I remember everyone being excited. I'm just going to say that it was not any kind of convincing that had to be done and I could be dead wrong and that would be even better.
But yeah, I was I remember hearing from my agent, like, this person maybe doesn't blah, blah, blah. And I knew you were in my corner. So I thought and then there was a table read. Once we had the table read, I think everyone was pretty pumped because we had such a seamless dirtbag rapport.
This really does fit in with your narrative, though, like no one believed in me, but I proved myself. Oh, yeah, yeah. Boy, that's a really good point.
The other side of that would be for me, which is like. And I didn't even want it. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's the part that I told this story in my book that I wrote. But I can remember, like when I was really nervous, I'd get really like when I would audition for stuff that I really wanted. I just get really sleepy, really apathetic. And I can remember auditioning for the Coen brothers.
And, you know, I love them and I just want to be in their movie. And I was just doing badly. And I was just like, I just got an attitude like, huh? Like, I just remember being like, I guess I don't really want this.
And I'm like, I'm sure they have no memory of this.
But I remember them kind of be like, oh, are you mad at us?
We understood. Well, by the way, it's a very potent strategy in high school.
When you don't love your looks, you could have nagging your nagging the Coen brothers. I'm actually shocked it didn't work.
Oh, I know what you mean because it works a lot. He says that's what sucks. It bears fruit.
I think I just wasn't that good enough to even have that work in my favor. I just was not feeling it. OK, back to baby momma, though.
What a fucking blast. What a bloody blast. Probably more of a blast for me because I was only working two or three days a week and you had written it with Tina and you were guys were very, very busy. But I got to come in and just party with you, too. And again, sincerely just admired the fuck out of both of you and just felt the whole time I was there, like, I am so lucky to be at this party.
I was very present, which is rare for me. I was not thinking, oh, this may lead to X, Y or Z. I was just there enjoying getting to act with you. And my God, did we have fun?
I can remember we were setting up the shot of you peeling out.
And, you know, it was important to you that you did it last time I took the time. I did.
You know, I had no sense of I know nothing about cars. So you're you're a New Yorker. Why would you.
But I remember that. And then when you did it, I was like, wow, OK. I was I was impressed.
But also I remember that, you know, the whole thing.
You know what I remember from that thing, because that was the my girl does not rocks part. That's right. That's right.
I remember after Teiko, I came back up to like, reset with you and you go, OK, well, you can go to a hundred pretty quick enough to say no to such a compliment.
OK, I think you were telling me I was like, good, I remember that. And finally, here we go with the story.
I know I always say to directors, like, I'm like, feel free. Tom, you know, I can be like a radio that's on too loud when you turn your car on, like, because I'm always amazed at people who can stay still.
Oh, isn't it the greatest challenge? Funny enough, I was watching the trailer for your movie that you just directed. And literally my first thought was while Baber's is so calm and still in this Baber's thank you for saying that.
I worked so hard because I was like, stop moving. Yeah, stop moving, stop moving. And, you know, if you're going to get real deep, it's like just stop performing. Just just stop because.
I mean, I don't even know how much I move around and it's deep to be quiet and still to just take up the space, you know, it's so hard.
And for some people, it's very easy.
For me it is. I'm not enough unless I've got the volume cranked. There's no way I'm a nut.
You can't put a camera at me and have me just sit there for five minutes and have anyone interested. It's like there's a lack of esteem. I guess it is.
And it's also like I think it's also just like straight up physical practice. Like could how long can you tolerate like can you go ten more seconds every day before you answer back, you know, again, what's the stuff that I take pride in that I like Quick-witted and I can be fast and I make bad decisions and I people can depend on my fastness and then it's like huh. So what if I took ten more seconds, you know, a big revelation for me in my forties.
Most people know this, but I would say to men and women alike, is it when somebody asks you something in real time, you can just say, let me think about it, and that let me think about it, can just create the moment where you actually have to think about it. That is a learned behavior.
Yeah. Yeah. That's is weakness to me. I'm so. Yeah. That I would immediately know. Yeah. Oh my God. It's shameful.
But do you apply that to work like directing. Because I think that I'm learning that really confident people can sit in, you know, someone says what should we do the scene this way, this way? And they can sit and go, huh? And then we can all, like, just be OK with that director thinking in real time and me and like watching them way. What you ask like that is to me like, oh wow, that is really powerful, you know, not exploiting it.
Not like not all just at all.
Please think about this.
I mean, I remember I was doing SNL one time and you're blocking the scenes. If you'll have these like in between moments with the hosts that are just these small talky moments. Christopher Walken, undoubtedly probably one of the most eccentric people ever, right? Sure, we were doing some scene and we had to sit down at a table and wait for them to figure out some camera thing. And he just sat in complete silence.
Oh, wow. And I was didn't want to bother him. And I started like, wow, how long is this going to go? How long are we going?
And, you know, it was like a Pixar journey in my head of how much I wanted to talk and not talk and sweating and not sweating and then getting mad at him and then thinking was amazing or whatever, idolizing him, hating and vilifying and worshipping him.
I don't think the same journey was going on in his head. But no, when I get into an elevator with four strangers, my very first thought is, well, this is on me. I'm going to have to be the one in this elevator that's going to make everyone feel OK. This is so awkward and it's on me. And here we go. Oh, that's I so feel you, because I just I love to entertain. I take great pride, people feeling good and secure and safe.
I like doing the things like Monica. I really relate to this idea that I hear sometimes, which is like, you know, I take pride in doing a job well and I'm really drawn to people who do their jobs well. I don't care what you do if you do it well, like you're attractive to me. I know that's like doing a job well. I take great pride and I respect people that do, but it just then carries over into all this other like stuff.
That's so the elevator is.
Yeah. Yes. Why do you have to be the person in the other room that's talking to everybody?
That is what has led to social anxiety with me being recognizable because in an interaction, I think you signed up for an experience and I got to give it to you right now. You know, I don't know that I can always give you that experience. And I feel the weight of that expectation, which, by the way, they probably don't even have. It's on me. But I'm like, oh, I just don't know if I can deliver all the time.
Well, try being Leslie Knope. And people are like, yes, you're and I'm just like, I'm sorry, I can't talk right now.
And they're just they're just so disappointed. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe we're right. They are expecting a pretty good show.
Yeah. And you know, and they deserve it.
And also, you know, you get this thing a lot, you know, if Angelina Jolie's in the room, it's not like people go up to Angelina Jolie. They go, oh, my God, Angelina Jolie is here. Oh, my God, oh, my God.
But when you're a person that people have in your living rooms, they feel like they know they go up to you and they're like, you do the thing, do the thing that you you know, and great, great, great, great, great work.
But totally so, you know, because I don't take pictures in anybody.
Right. Right. Right. I'm totally fine with that. Yeah. But it was a very, very hard process to get there. Yeah.
Because I wanted people to feel good. Who am I to say no to this.
Yeah. All this stuff. A little bit of the Boston thing. Oh you're too good.
Oh are you kidding me. Like everyone's like oh look at you. I feel like I must be OK. All right. All right. Miss Fancy. No, no, no. Do you think but you know, go back to Hollywood, forget about us.
Every sentence is one away from go fuck yourself. I wondering how far will it go before I hear it always.
I mean, you know, Monica, when you talk about good will hunting, like, I can't even I can't I'm such a self hating Boston. I can't even watch good will hunting like.
Oh no, I love it. I love it.
I'm just saying that Boston thing is so I grew up with it. So I'm just like, you know, you'll see somebody from home and you're like, hey, how are you doing?
And they'll be like, Oh, what, you want to talk about me? No, let's let's talk about, you know, let's talk about you.
In a way, it was my point anyway. But, you know, it kind of sealed the deal in a nice way, like where I was like, oh, I can is I would get kind of nervous physically when people want to put their arm around me.
Yeah. Because it just started getting a little and it wasn't nobody was for the most part, nobody's trying to be weird.
And the physicalness, like, started getting me in my head. I didn't know where I stand and they didn't know where to stand. And that became like a way, weirdly, instead of advocating for, like, actually boundaries of what I wanted, that became a way in to be like in my head, like, yeah, I don't really pictures make me kind of uncomfortable because they do. They do. Yeah.
Oh, my God. There's nothing I hate more than having my photograph taken. I think it's my worst nightmare.
And I was doing this show with Ashton a couple of years ago and he said, hey, they asked if we could like if I could tweet a picture or whatever it was to announce your arrival on the show. We just grab a selfie and I'm like, yeah, he holds the fucking camera at his kneecap.
And he can, yes, because he has the freedom to hold the camera wherever he wants to. And I was watching him cue up this photo. I was like, no way. You got to be like eight inches above my nose. Yeah.
Yeah. People like him do not understand. They don't and they never will. They really want they really won't because he looks like a like a like a space dear.
Like a gorgeous you space sex dear sexting.
I mean I remember when Jaylo hosted SNL and the camera just kept moving in and moving in and I was like prettier.
And pretty soon I was like, who can manage? That is amazing. I really I always say the photographers are my eyes and a mouth.
That's all I want to see. I want to be blown out. And I listen to my mouth and everything else. I mean, and also people think, look, we know you don't want to look good, right? I mean, you you know, it happens all the time where you go to a photo shoot and you're like, sure, so we're going to do this thing where you barbecue sauce.
Like, I wouldn't mind. I mean, I guess I would try to look like I. Oh, why start now?
Oh, my goodness. OK, so building on the compliment. You're not going to like to hear you're going to hate this, but I'm going to say it. You've taken on a role that's much different than just your comedian. I think you represent so many things for feminism that are incredible. And I wonder what the evolution is. I know your mom was pretty vocal and into feminism in some capacity. Is that accurate? That's not accurate.
Well, that's a great question, because my mom would say she was a child in the 50s. Real good girl, Catholic school girl, smart student. My mom is a really warm, friendly person who in the 70s just was realizing that she was the generation that had to choose between being a teacher and a nurse. Yeah, she's kind of in that generation, like, overeducated, underutilized.
So she experienced the 70s as a young woman. But she also had me when she was really young, she was like twenty three. So I would say definitely my mom identifies as that for sure, and I would say acted like that. But she probably would say that she went through a lot of different versions of herself because of when she was born. And so I am the daughter of a lot of women my age whose moms really kind of whispered to them, like, you can do anything you want, like really imbue them with a big sense of confidence.
Yeah. And I will say my dad is kind of like a street smarts kind of guy. Well, yeah, Bill is a little bit of a hustler.
Sure, sure. He's hardscrabble.
He had a much tougher childhood and kind of came through it and was just like, you know, high school athlete. And Mom was the one that he got that he felt like were like out of my league. And he says it all the time. But my dad gave me a lot of confidence. And I think about your daughters DACs because. When you have a dad who as a woman, as a young girl, gives you a lot of attention and confidence, it's very, very special.
It's just very, very special when your father pays attention to you when you're a girl. And I say that because I know a lot of people whose dads it wasn't that they weren't necessarily bad to them or, you know, dismissive of them. They just didn't get their attention. Yeah. So you can't get your dad's attention. It can really throw off your compass a little bit. Yeah.
So my dad was like a little bit of like he gave me a lot of confidence that I was, you know, very tough and very tough. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that helped a lot. Helped a lot.
Yeah. I find myself I even have to rein myself in. How much. Yeah. Trying to say that. Well it's got to backfire. Oh yeah. No matter what.
Yeah. But when we interviewed Hillary, who you and I both love crazy, the thing I was so grateful to her for sincerely is that I have that documentary to show my daughters.
Like, to your point, the many roles she had to take on that. We're not her. Because she's so fiercely pragmatic, that's what was so heartbreaking about it, is like, OK, I'll change my fucking name and we're having a kid and now you're going to get re-elected because I care so much about what we could do to Arkansas and having to make those compromises. It's so heartbreaking when you watch it today. And to have that to show my daughters I'm so grateful to and this is the part you want, like U2 or somebody I'm so grateful that I'll be able to point to as someone who had the confidence to be yourself, brought people with her, hired all women for a production company, redefined.
We can update, redefine what it is to host the Golden Globes, all on your terms, all through being powerful and and the unique way that you are. I am genuinely thrilled that this is the generation my kids are growing up in that we have you. Thank you, Baber's. That's so nice. I mean, if all I really want to make a joke, but I'm just going to sit.
Oh, look at this. We're back in five minutes. We're going to go to a Mandi's commercial. And I'm going to send me on these.
And I'm going to sit in on these feelings to do an ad for my feelings. And my feelings are so tight.
Thank you. Look, I made a joke. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. I appreciate. I mean, that interview is amazing. More and more I'm drawn. And this is why I love your show. This is why I am drawn to people exposing the process of how they're thinking, like how they get there. And I love watching people, you know, may we be blessed to keep decade after decade making different mistakes and getting things wrong and then figuring them out like it's very hard to stay flexible.
The older you get, you just find yourself. You know, I was saying the other day, you know, I just like hearing what my boys were watching on YouTube, I was like, that is just not funny. It's not funny. It's just stupid. That guy is not funny.
You know, like it's just like whether you mean to or not, you start doing you start getting tight, getting physically, emotionally tight. And then if you really get scared, you start feeling left out and you're like brittle. I just love when people try to stay nimble. I love the messiness of that's why I love what you guys do. And I, I love that interview and I love that bigger picture thing of like what is a woman like Hillary's journey through generationally through all this stuff?
You know, we're really, really quick all the time to apply present day thinking to everything in it.
Well, you know, we were born in the 70s, like, I didn't have Internet in college, but I try my hardest to empathize with some of the people, the getting older part. I was always a part of that change. So the direction was always moving in. I was always championing or maybe I was even in the front of it. And now I realize, oh, now the change is going beyond me and certain things that I bought into, which is like, I'm going to work hard.
I'm going to figure out how to make money and I'm going to buy awesome race cars. That's my whole life goal. I finally did it. Here we are. Guess what, man? They kill the fucking planet.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's part of the fucking deal. I grew up in Detroit. That wasn't. But now I'm here. Now I get to get the thing, you know, and I'm mad about that. I'm pissed I can't ethically go fucking drag racing. And I think there's so many little things like that that even the older people in Korona I get it's like work hard, save your money, retire, enjoy life, stay inside.
And no, that's not what I agreed to.
But also, like you said, our narratives and our identity, I think most younger people feel like I'm on the cutting edge. I'm progressive. Everyone thinks they're progressive until they're at an age where there's a generation that's much more progressive than you and it fucks with your identity because like my parents are, so their identity is that they're so pragmatic and they're so, you know, the fact that they are not taking Korona as seriously as me is a shock to all of us.
Like, no one can understand it because that is their whole thing is safety and this and and I'm like, wow, but you guys are not doing it right. And I think they can't take that in. I can't even take that. Like, it's it's so bizarre when you have these identities that get usurped by the younger generation in the same way that I love to like talk about class and apply classman.
It doesn't really, you know, when it isn't called for. I'm the same way with what you're talking about generationally, because I'm I'm really obsessed with that. I'm a Gen X or I boomer parents. Gen Xers are feeling the really big squeeze. They've little kids and aging parents. And it's fascinating how many parents, boomer parents are just like, you know, being like, well, I can still go to a restaurant, you know?
I know. And this feeling of being current five, you're suddenly worrying about them to you. It's so and then me, the Gen Xers, like looking at, you know, Gen Z and being like, get back in your house.
Like you just feel like, you know, you're just like having a party is you get back in your house.
I don't know. And then also it's funny, but I can talk about Gen X forever because I, I take great pride in being Gen X because I love that nobody cares about Gen X, nobody talks about it. We get totally ignored.
People think we're boomers, you know, like, you know, like my kids would be like, OK, Boomer.
And I'm like, I am not a boomer and I do that to you recently.
Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm sixty five all the time. Yeah.
Anybody, anybody under thirty thinks anybody over forty is sixty five as they should. When I think I go to my elementary teachers, you know, I'm certain they were like forty eight, fifty years old and they just ah I know the general age now that my kids are in elementary is those teachers are in their twenties. Oh God.
But I was certain of it.
We only want to piggyback real quick on, on the compliment showering and your story being one to pass down because I'm just never in this position where the events of our guests lives have affected my life so profoundly because UCB is my world for so long. And what's I think so amazing is it's you and three men in a very male dominated profession group, everything. And you were always the person that everyone wanted to see that everyone was excited about that was sorry to Ian in the maths, but the best.
And it was such a. Wonderful thing as a girl in comedy, to be like, no, but the best one is her mom. It was really, really important.
I think I feel so happy that you ceibs part of your experience, because I do feel it's a shared experience. It isn't just mine and the experience of building it. It was truly like a four headed experience know in Matt Matt. And we really all worked together in different ways. And thank you for saying. I feel like anytime time I hear somebody feel like they found their people there, I do feel in a very big picture way. So grateful because I think the world is very lonely.
And in any way that we can find people that we call our people, especially when we're doing the kind of work we're doing, which is like very vulnerable, heavy rejection, like it's just competitive.
This is neither here nor there, but I don't know why I just immediately shot into my head. You were pregnant and I don't think anyone knew, and you're at my house and you're looking outside at my mom and my stepdad hugging and you started bawling uncontrollably.
Oh, what a sweetie.
Why are you this couple? But also, like I mean, it hit you like a freight train.
Yeah. What a cute moment. Your mom your mom is really something else. And he was so great.
And that is so long ago, Jack. But it's not funny is now.
Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.
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I wanted to tell you one story, I don't know if I've ever told you, and then I want to talk, of course, about Moxey. We all went one time to one of those night before parties.
It was like a night before television party. Oh, yep, yep, yep.
And I was just I think maybe Chris and I had been together maybe like six months, eight months. And we all hung out. And it was you, Tina myself. Well, Kristen and maybe Keri Russell or something.
And we just had a it was the funnest night, like it was one of those things were those parties are awkward. There's a million people there. And then I was like, oh my God, I feel like I got picked for the good kickball team. Here we are. We're safe. We're going to laugh at all this silliness. So the next day, Chris and I went for a hike. In fact, I asked her if I could tell the story.
We're on a hike the next day and she's blue. Like, I can feel that she's blue.
And I go, what's going on? What's what's going on? She goes down just thinking about I'm not funny, you know, I'm not funny. And I said, Well, you're very funny. And she goes, No, I'm just, you know, Tina and Amy and I go, Yeah, Tina and Amy, the two funniest last forty years.
I mean, yeah, I can see where you might feel like you're not as funny as the two funniest women of the last couple decades. And it was just so wonderful. And it's what happens to us because you get to sit next to in your just everyone's a human and then you really go home and you've compared yourself to these two people that have been working together as a comedy team for 18 years. And you kind of evaluate yourself against them and it's just so fucking comical in her of all people do.
That's what I was going to say. It's horrible. People also, she didn't she knows she is so funny and she doesn't need me to tell her that, but she knows that.
But she also knows and we all know everybody does that every single person at every party and every moment, myself included, goes home and has like take stock.
I just I'm like, I can't believe I said that stupid thing. And I was trying so hard and I was talking so loud and or, you know, I pretended like I didn't care. And I care so much. Everybody does it. And I'm not funny. I'm not talented. I'm it's like if you don't do that, you're a psychopath.
I look at it. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'm mad at myself for that. But you're right, I would be a piece of shit if I didn't do that.
Well, you'd actually have like a behavioral disorder if you went to a gigantic Hollywood party with every single person whose work you appreciate.
And I feel like. I know. You would be a serial killer. It's a great point, that's a great idea. A serial killer. OK, I want to talk about moxie because like I knew what the premise was before I saw the trailer, I was very bummed. I couldn't watch it last night. I was hoping to have a link and I did it regardless.
He looked at me like I was my boy and I didn't even look at you.
Look down here. I've been with Carey Mulligan's movie to what's going on. Why do you have issues? OK, sorry, we'll make it work.
Look, we have some areas we could grow in, and that's certainly what I feel like. This is a rob issue. I'm sorry. I don't know why. Why are these links not working? Yeah, I would just I'd love to get an email, Rob.
Let me know that this is fixed. I'm going to assume anything as long as this is cleared up, please.
But anyways, I thought what an awesome thing for you to direct because of what we just talked about, you having navigated all these male spaces, you being someone that's very vocally outspoken about these unfair things that happen to women and then to my great relief, not holding the most precious, annoying way where I'm like, oh, you know, because when you hear the premise, I'm a little bit like, I hope it's not, you know.
Oh, you mean you don't you don't get excited when a movie tells you it's going to teach you something. What do you mean?
Well, as we already covered, you want me to not do something, just tell me to do it. I've been dying to do for 20 years. All you got to do is say, go do that and I won't.
Yeah, yeah. There's nothing worse than TV and movies being homework. So Moxey is a movie. It's going to be on Netflix March 3rd, March 3rd. It is based off of a Wii novel written by Jennifer Matu. And it's she's a high school teacher and she basically, you know, set the novel in a high school and it's about one young girl shy. She wins most obedient in her high school and is trying to just kind of get through school with her head down.
And her group of friends kind of run the gamut of being very involved and very vocal and being very nervous to participate. So it's watching the journey of one person figure out what do I care about, how do I want to try to make change? Am I the person to do it? And in the meantime, she gathers these other young women in her life who kind of take over, which she starts. And I play her mom, who is my age like X nine.
Thirty nine my yeah. On the eve of forty. Just can't wait to hit forty.
So excited for what it brings big big time slam paper. I just, I mean I'm just, I'm not afraid of the number and who had a riot girl kind of, you know, feminist experience and realizes that that was limited and needs to be updated. But I assumed her daughter would be this kind of outspoken rebel and she actually has this introverted.
You know, what I dug about it is there's so many and it's a patriarchal storytelling work, which is it's always like the outsider who goes in there and it's like, oh, my God, look at him go.
And I think that the journey of the reluctant person doesn't know how to make themselves the lead of their own story. Who thinks maybe by not participating, they'll kind of skate through? Like, I think it's an interesting place to be because not everyone is comfortable in that front and center spot.
But it's funny and it's all incredible cast, really super young people who, yeah, super inspiring to be around and they're doing great work in their own lives to look incredible thought leaders and challenging the status quo. To your point. Lattakia Like they're so progressive and so interesting and kept me on my toes in terms of how to think about things.
And one thing I liked is like some of the dudes get on board with the movement and they think it's really hot. And then the guys like, should I do you want to go in first? I should have said they should have offered you. And she's like, No, no, I like that. Like, I like that. It's like all the things it's not like this very narrow view of what it means to be heard and appreciated.
I don't want to have gender ideas, but I am always drawn and I don't know this is female or not, but I'm drawn like in the way the people are unsure of what is right. And sometimes, you know, like there's this is the way to do things is certainly like, look, none of us really know what we're doing. We're making mistakes left and right, all that stuff. Also, I just love high school movies like I grew up John Cusack.
I love the archetypes of. Yeah, and there's so much juicy like Monica, there's so much romance.
And you see, like high school feeling that I hiding and love flirting.
Yes. Flirting. And what is like the new version of like the dreamy boy. Like what does he look like now. And we're delivering on that with Max. I have to say this, this kid, Niko Haraga, who plays Seth is incredible. And Holly Robinson is in the cast, is really good.
And I just feel like it will scrap. Some old nostalgic high school images of what it felt like, what kind of person am I, where do I fit in? Yeah, but yeah, to your point, yes, I agree. I mean, I think, like, it's hard to tell, you know, nobody's one thing anymore. There's no like so many high school things are like super cool. Like kids are like partying in a house in Mulholland.
And I'm like high school. Like I'm like, what high school experience is this? Like who was ever this cool in high school? They go to a lot of parties where everybody dance.
Monaco is pretty regular on the booty dance scene.
Yeah, well, you know, I know Baber's another thing we love. Boy, do we love to dance, don't we?
You know why we love to dance? Because we're fucking good at it.
So because we're good at it.
That's right. Well that is right. I didn't like to do one thing. I look stupid, but Monacan, I got a little bit of a tip because I found out that all of her dancing, she went out dancing quite a bit in college, but it was just booty dancing. And I was like, were you literally just sat there and grinded on something? She said, Yes. And I said, I I don't know if I'm going to categorize that as dancing.
Like, I need more moves. I need to see you work the floor. I need you to change up what's happening. Footwork wise.
I listen to that conversation, OK? I'm going to take Monica's side because, you know, dancing is whatever.
It's to me, the thing that qualifies it as dancing is just like a little bit of a vulnerable movement.
You know, like getting out there and moving is very exposing.
And when people do it and they're confident, like, that's all, you know, you've talked about it, you're done. You've won the battle. So. Shaking the booty takes that it does take you getting out there, getting up, moving in a way that could go wrong and who does often go on?
Oh, it's a very high risk. It's like the odds that you'll be in sync are very low.
I kind of love dancing and actually it really helps with my social anxiety. So more and more like all those fancy parties sometimes that were invited to I go to the dance floor and I don't leave.
I told and I, I stay there and it's been such a place for me to meet.
OK, now I'm just going to namedrop famous people. But why not? Yeah.
So the last big, like Hollywood party I went to, it was that pre Golden Globes or something was one of those like, you know, night before or something. Yeah. And for those people that don't know, like they'll have like a you have the event which is, you know, you're starving and it's not that fun. And then you'll have like there'll be some kind of party and sometimes you can be like, oh my God, that's the guy from, you know.
Yeah, that's all you do. Just you walk around. Oh, my God. That's the guy from. And then you feel excited. You're like Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a friend. Like you're really you get really say it's so it's high school. But I was anxious that I have quite a bit of social anxiety and I'm sad to say it's gotten worse, not better as I've gotten older. So I'm like, OK, how do I get through it?
So for me, moving really helps me. So almost anywhere I go, I try to get the dance floor going and I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
I'm usually the first one on it because you're the vanguard. Thank you. And I just get a couple people and it gets going. It gets going. You're a party pooper. I thank you so much. I'd love to pump a party.
Yeah. And I but I won't leave the dance floor. I just stay there.
And then the people that come on the dance floor are the people if this makes sense that you want to dance with. Yeah.
So like the people that come I want to dance are like you and you don't have to talk to them. You can just point.
I'd be like, oh my God, you know, like I love you on succession and then you dance together and then you don't have to ever talk.
Oh so I love it.
Tina and I used to throw these after parties after the Golden Globes are really fun, really like epic.
And there were a couple moments where there was a would be a dance circle and I would be like, Ho Lee, shall I look around and be like, I'm nailing it.
This is every famous person I've ever seen in one dance, one dance circle, black, brown, gay, straight comedian, just dramatic actors.
Everyone in the room. You're all in a circle. Oh, circle.
Oh, you are going to namedrop though. I kind of cut you off from namedrop.
Oh I was just going to say I had this moment where I was like Shivram from succession of Cerezo, so Asara from succession who I've never met but I love. And then it's like Lena Waithe will come on and start dancing and I'll be like I know a little bit, but I wish I knew her a lot of it.
And then it'll be like, Oh, who's on the dance floor? I'm like, Oh, it's Calice and Jon Snow dancing together.
Oh. And it just like starts to fill up. You're like, Oh my God, Ava DuVernay is here. I know it's cool. Like the floor is yours to fill up and you start feeling like, oh my God, I think they're not going to kick me off the dance floor. It's so it's such base.
It's such basic high school stuff.
Basically my pinnacle that was we were at one of those things and Lisa Monet was their little acqui. And like, I felt like I could go on that dance floor. It was pretty wide open and I spent about 75 minutes fucking one on one dancing with her. And I was like, yeah, this can't be happening. The exchange we're having is so much more profound than whatever we could have been talking about. We're sharing this.
This is why you and I are like because at a party I followed Lisa and Jason Momoa around, like straight up like like a third, like hoping to be a third.
Oh, man. I'd be in that third. Well, you know, you always have to give out the energy, which is like, hey, I'm just not sure what I want to do.
Just I mean, I didn't say third. I didn't say it.
But I mean, the biggest perk of getting to do what I do is I get to meet people whose work I love. I can't believe it. I can't believe that I get to meet Carol Burnett or that I get to be in the same room with people who I love.
I can't believe it over and over again. How is this my life?
I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Oh, my.
Oh, thank you.
And I could believe it from it would be you Baber's. I'm so glad you did this me to do. Despite what a colossal fuck up I will be watching on March 3rd moxey. I am really, really excited to watch it because that is probably my favorite genre of movie. You of course is cool Mom. I'll never forget it mean girls. I love that space.
Yeah, it's a juicy space and you got to watch you from your couch. You don't have to go anywhere and I can pick. I know. I feel like I know everything about your pod.
I know who's coming in now. I know everything about your satellite shows. I've listened to all of them. I love Monacan.
Just the boys really love that. And I pass that on that. I love the race for 270. I love it. Wow. Do you want to marry Aaron Weekly?
A little bit.
First of all, Aaron laughs Oh, is it's taken over the world.
Everyone can't stop talking, by the way.
It doesn't become obvious why I went into comedy. He was laughing at my jokes and I thought I was like, so funny because of that laugh.
Yeah. No one makes him laugh more than you like. It's it's really, really, really sweet and vice versa.
Yeah. It's really I love that relationship. I have a term for you guys. I think you should you know, Stern has the backpack. Uh huh. I feel like you guys have the jacked pack.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, you have so many jacked people that come on and talk about their bodies.
And I like with many bodies. I know.
And what are we, twins that way, too? You don't really care all that much. I don't I don't care that. Yeah.
I love hearing you guys talk about it because I love I love again, I love anybody that's good at their job. So if your job is to get fit and you did it, like, tell me about it. I love it, but I'm so happy that's not my job. So happy. That's not our friend Jesse.
You know, for Monica, just love boys. He's a waiter at Houston's my favorite restaurant, and he'll tell the servers he's training, build it for him, build the sandwich if they ask about the chicken. So we start with this Grecian roll. We put on a lightly Brenda Chris impressed with go. So build it for me. And that's what you're looking for.
It's nothing like a good waiter. If you can be a good waiter, wait tables, you can do anything if you're able to deal with people, compartmentalize quickly, make decisions, shine your light a little bit.
One hundred percent. I love you so much. Love you guys.
My favorite thing is when you text me after an interview.
The first time he told me that you are texting him about the show, I was like, cannot compute.
Brain is not talk about like I can't believe it. This for me is that it's crazy. I love what you guys are doing. I just love your show.
That settles it. We're going to commissioned a bronze bust of you Baber's. It's going to be in the attic.
I can't wait to get up into the attic and be in front of everybody with the door open. Oh, yes.
I don't even have a response to that. So, Paul, I love you so much.
I can't wait to see you, person. Me too. Me too. Thanks, you guys. So my neighbors. Bye.
And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate, Monica Padman.
Since I outed myself about the vaping and the Dippin, I just want to update everyone that I'm day ten off of vapes, which is very exciting.
And day two. No, no dip. Yeah, no tuna baccy. And how do you feel?
Good. But now that we're recording, I was like, where's my all my stuff.
Where's all my little gizmos. Yeah. You know, yeah he it's a habit. That's right, yeah.
Speaking of habits, I'm not drinking right now. Oh right. That's another update for everyone.
I am going on two weeks you. Done two weeks, right? Yes. Wasn't it two weeks this week? Yeah, I guess when I say going on, I meant like it happened and I'm continuing on, right? Yeah. Continuing on from to here in week three that I don't like saying. You don't like it.
Yeah, OK. That's like jumping the gun, ok. It's like saying you want before you want. That's true. But you are in your third week of sobriety. Two and a half.
OK, I'm not trying to be sober.
No life. I just really needed to reset. And I started to get a little scared thinking about how many days I had consumed alcohol in a row, which was every day for almost a year, I think.
Every days. Yeah.
And then I started really thinking, well, last time I went to four weeks, I don't know.
Oh, high school I'm sure. Probably.
Yeah. Too. Why would you go more than two weeks without drinking. Yeah. There'd be no reason. No reason. Exactly, yeah, because even when you would take trips with your parents, you have wine. Yeah, yeah. There's no reason you wouldn't have. Yeah.
And how do you feel now?
I feel good. I feel good. It's an interesting experiment for sure at minimally. It's an interesting experiment. Yeah. When I'm craving it, it just became such a habit. It's good to shake it up. Yeah. I think. But I want to go back but hopefully when I go back I will be more cognizant of not just putting it in my body just cause. Mm hmm. Yeah. And actually being a little more conscious of when with a meal or you know.
Well you and I were talking about this and I was saying one of my red flags personally was just how often I'd actually be bored drinking, like where I would be at the bar and I'd be reading the label of the beer over and over again and going like something's wrong.
This is supposed to be fun. Like if I'm bored and drunk, I don't like this. Yeah. Or that I'm just returning to the state I'm always at after six o'clock. It doesn't even actually feel like anything. And I'm just as prone to be bored and probably more so because I'm relying on just sitting on that stool for being fun. But it's yeah.
Yeah. I definitely use it as a like stuffy uh. Yeah. Like a safety blanket or something. I just like no it's like a constant. Yeah. Like constant and.
Yeah. So it's been good.
The first week was really hard, really, really hard. And in that time I had a couple of girlfriends over in the pod and you know, it was a girls night and I was like oh my God, I guess I'll have to drink this night. Like it wasn't even it wasn't even like an option to not. But then I thought, no, I. I can't. I just. I'll just have to not do it while everyone else is, yeah, drinking, and then it was fine.
It's just uncomfortable when you're coming to the acceptance part that you're not going to write to me that the only discomfort is when you're formulating an argument in your head. You're like, oh, no, no. Well, I have to. This is a girls. And I couldn't have invited these people over and then just be the one person staring at them, not drinking.
So like, you're building this thing and then another part of your brain's going like, no, but you've committed to at least going a week. So. Yeah, exactly. And all that to me, that's the discomfort until you finally then go, oh no, I'm not.
And that's over.
Yeah. I mean, yes. And when they are drinking like I was like I want that, I want that. That's like hours into the, into the hang. I like it. Uh huh, yeah. More than just more than just the stuff being more than just the habit. I really like the feeling. Yeah. And great. The taste.
Like it's hard for me to say the taste because I don't know if that's just because well it's Pavlovian.
The taste is associated with the feeling you like. So it would be impossible for you not to enjoy the taste because you're signaling what's coming. Yeah. Like I love the taste of Jack and Diet. I bet, you know, objectively it's not delicious, but I fucking love it.
Even if I smell one, I'm like, oh, that's that smells wonderful.
So anyway, that's a little update. Yeah. A lot of things being quit over here. Why not quit. But I know and I, I'm not trying to I'm not, I'm not pressuring you.
I know. But you did quit drinking two weeks ago. Yeah. I'm taking a break. Yeah.
I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me that you want me to stop. You don't want me to feel like I can't tell you. I want you to stop. Yeah, ok.
I just had to get that straight. But that sentence I would tell you if I was concerned about your drinking, I do think it's a tiny, touchy subject. Right. Like it's fun to talk to you about not drinking because I don't drink and then I'll just be kind of expounding on the things I remember liking about it.
Like, oh, it's more about the morning like I have now. I feel predictably in the morning as opposed to I feel predictable at night. Yeah, well that's a nice thing. And more energy. Oh, I'm not gaining as much weight. There's just all these little things and then I'm, I'm inclined to talk to you about that. And then I get self-conscious like, oh she thinks I'm trying to really build this up so she'll stop. Yeah.
And I can feel it but I'm not I'm just kind of like bonding over having gone through this. Yeah. And knowing what it's like to walk into a place that you always do one thing and now you're very aware of this thing you're not going to do and. But I have no agenda with you.
Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm also in my head about it a lot. Yeah. I'm really analyzing it a lot. I might be overthinking, of course, but my sleep is still a very erratic. And if I wake up and I don't feel refreshed, I'm like, I should have, I could have just had wine and I would have felt the exact same way. And that is annoying. Yes.
But it is all what you focus on. So when we were talking about it, you were at the end of a thirty six hour cleaning and organizing spree.
Yeah, man. And you had chose to leave a social situation to continue that. And I said, I don't think you would have ever spent a whole weekend doing what you just did. I don't think you would have the energy to do it. And then the other stuff would be too much of a pull to probably not go do it.
So, yeah. And so it's a journey. Part of it was since I've been on my antidepressant, I haven't been on that and not drank and a part of me wondered if I was even doing anything, if I was counteracting it. And I just wanted to see what it was like to be on that medication and not be adding a depressant into my body.
Yeah. And I think overall, I think my mood has been good. Yeah, I think so.
I think it has. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think you have seemed way more just even keeled, even keeled. Yeah, yeah, I think that I'm scared to say that, but I think I think so.
It's OK to say that. What else? What else? This is Amy's episode. Oh. And man, was it a dream come true.
Was literally a dream come true. I texted Anthony right after because he is a person who it's fun. I get to I get to like share these things with him and he he gets it in a different way because, you know, because he's been on the journey the whole time.
Yeah. And we were on it together. We are on it together really quick.
I've seen it in the comment sections like is Monica's boyfriend, Anthony. So just Anthony is your best buddy. Yeah. Yes. Married. Yeah. Happily, happily married.
Three children, children. Alison is his beautiful wife. Yes, that's correct.
He was also your primary care physician. Yeah.
Yes. Unfortunately for her, yeah. She gets all of my questions. But yeah, Anthony, we went to college together and then we moved out here together. And we were roommates for years and years and years. And yeah, he's one of my best friends and he's a writer. He's a television writer. Successful one. Yes. Yeah. And yeah.
But we started out as little pee pee babies. Yeah.
Like that was a real added layer of the heartache of Bree and I breaking up. Yeah.
Because she was on the ride. Yeah.
We met at twenty in nineteen in my one bedroom apartment and I was like oh yeah. Like whatever comes next won't I.
It'll just be a different thing. Yeah it'll be different. Yeah.
But it is something lovely about having shared the whole journey with somebody. Yeah. It's fun to be able to talk with someone that knew you in all these different periods.
And I think you need those people because it's a good reminder of where you started. What you want. Exactly. Yeah. And you can really see it better through them when he talks about it. Uh huh. I get snapped back in like. Oh yeah. That is crazy. Right. That is crazy that we did that. I did that or.
Yeah. Well I was telling you this whole year where I've been hanging out with Aaron again nonstop has like completely changed my view of my life. Like I'm like, oh I have money and we can spend it.
He and I like it just it's really been this bizarre reminder of it's made me appreciate that so much more.
Yeah. It's so lucky to have people like that. Anyway, so I texted Anthony and I said, oh my God, we just interviewed Amy Poehler. And he like could not he was like, you need to take that in.
And I was like, yeah, of all I mean, of course, like Hillary.
Oh my God. And Bill and all these people. But for me personally, she has had the most profound impact on my life. Because of UCB. Yeah, because of UCB. And just like always looking at her as someone who is a bad motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just it was so exciting to talk to her. Yeah. Well the tricky part of it is and why it's like funded then regroup with Anthony is you have an obligation to not act crazy when you interview her. You have to act like a peer. Yeah. And not have a conversation that feels weird for her.
So in some way in your mind, you have to go and do it going like now's not the time to explain everything you know.
Yeah. And in doing that you can accidentally miss out. Yeah, you have to remove yourself a bit from the experience in order to do it well, right. And then it is it's good to have people that you can click back into that old person and enjoy it the way you should. Yeah, it was really fun.
She's so cool. I asked God. Yeah. Did you? Oh, my God. You turn your back. Oh, my back's been really messed up.
You're sitting there and then all of a sudden your back broke doing that kind of late, like spasming.
I've had a couple of things. Do it just happen to me at the pharmacy, I had called in my prescription and it was due to be ready, but it wasn't. And it was about twenty five minutes and I was just standing perfectly still for twenty five minutes. And then when it was there I, you know, I was catatonic.
No, you got to bend the like a person. Well what happened was she then held it up like come get it in first step. I was like oh my back is shot.
Like my back hurts so much immediately when I started walking and then the walk to the car was like, oh fuck.
And I stood a lot during Top Gear this week and a few different times too. It was like I was standing for so long and then I went to sit in the car and it felt like a grandpa.
Oh, grandpa. Oh, um, I forgot. Well, you're coming off a pretty bad back injury. Yeah, it hurts. OK, Amy Poehler. Amy Marie Poehler, what's her middle name? Baber's Amy, Baber's Fuller, Amy Poehler, daughter of Bill Poller.
She said she started to go into like a commercial. This is how you'll look when you're 40, OK? She started. She said that. And then you said something about it being in commercial.
And I tried to look it up, but I didn't I don't know what was happening. Oh, she said, you're going to love the way you look. Is it a commercial?
Yes, it's a Men's Wearhouse. And they play the commercial a ton on historically. They they've always been a sponsor of Stern. And so she's a huge stern person. I'm a huge star.
So it's probably you're going to like the way you look. Yeah, I bet that was it. Got it. Just like or your mattress is free. OK, this is sounding right.
CERN's Stemmons Seelie Posture Pedic Sternum and Wells Chatmon Hoochie my.
I do know and um you now made it my silly valentine. Your teeth are hoarse and your physique is for sure.
Oh my God you goofy dum dum. I love you.
We talk about this again lately and I said I circled back on it being romantic again. Yeah I was.
Well here's what I, our debate was you said well wow, it's really a nagging song. And I said for me that would be better than what I actually think it is, which is Jesus preying on someone who's struggling and he's just giving her compliments and then using her.
I said, I'll never meet my friend.
I said, that actually is kind of sweet. If she's objectively.
Oh, let's just say let's just say she's a person with a horrible personality. OK, OK.
And he's actually being sweet. He's like, look like I recognize that you have a horrible personality, but I just love you.
I don't know, I don't know whether to laugh at her is Funny Valentine. He laughs at her. No it's funny. Isn't like it's mysterious that I love you.
But I do see I think this song is about someone whose self-esteem is so low that they would like that song about them.
So, yeah, it is. It's like that's a very bad song.
I know there's all these people getting in trouble, but that's a very acceptable song.
Yeah, you're right. OK. Amy, Elizabeth, Baber's poller, so now we've figured that out, Men's Wearhouse perfect. I'm so glad you said that because I, I came up. Now you're going to like the way you look.
We guarantee it. Oh, at Men's Wearhouse. Yeah. OK, yeah. They're going to guarantee. They guarantee they're challenging you.
We dare you to come down here, pop on one of our suits and not love the way you look. Oh I wonder how often they have to.
By the way, what are the guarantees. I say you get your money back. What's the penalty?
That's why they are saying it. They're smart. Yeah. This is the best fact check we've ever recorded. I guarantee it. People will be like, wow, he guarantees it and they would not go. What does that mean? It doesn't mean anything. You can say I guarantee anything. Well, normally a guarantee means that there is something on the other end of it, like if you don't like it.
Well, I think if you attach some more words to it, money back, guarantee we got something. But just saying I guarantee it, which people say a lot. Yeah.
It's like generally. Well, you're going to love that hamburger. I guarantee it. But that doesn't mean that.
Yeah, it's kind of interesting. Yeah. It's just become colloquial, I guess. OK, the Malcolm Gladwell revisionist history. Episode on September 11th that she mentioned is the one free Brian Williams, which is such a good episode. It's such a good podcast. It in general. And then that episode is incredible. It's called Free Brian Williams. The first part is about Brian Williams and his misremembering of the helicopter rescue.
And it kind of breaks all that down and memory and then talks about September 11th and help people remember that differently. It's so good. Please listen. We love Malcolm. Hi, Malcolm. Hi. Malcolm Gladwell.
You're going to love it. I guarantee I guarantee my money back guarantee that, yeah, our money back guarantee. Yeah, because it's free. Yeah. You said there's data that says tall people get listen to more. There is a Atlantic article that says an extra inch correlates with an estimated eight hundred dollars in increased annual earnings. So there's some financial perks in the 1960s and 70s. Thomas Gregor and Anthropologist's Ding, ding, ding at Vanderbilt traveled to central Brazil to see if height was prized by people beyond the developed world.
For years, he observed the Mahina cuz, a group that lived in the tropical forest and was so thoroughly unmodern that they had never seen eyeglasses. He spent time with the Navajo and the tribe brand Islander's of Papua New Guinea to. In no case have I found a preference for short men.
Yeah, well, there's that very obvious natural selection thing happening with Tall Man. Why? Because they can protect more. You're bigger. You can fight bigger animals. You can fight off bigger adversaries who are raiding your village. Yeah.
In Western countries that jump from the twenty fifth percentile of height to the seventy fifth, about four or five inches is associated with an increase in salary between nine and 15 percent.
Oh my God. Ding, ding, ding. Another analysis suggests that an extra inch is worth almost eight hundred dollars a year and elevated earnings. This is where the ding, ding, ding comes. If you take this over the course of a 30 year career and compound it. One researcher told Malcolm Gladwell for his book, Blink. We're talking about a tall person enjoying literally hundreds of thousands of dollars of earnings advantage among men. The sharpest jump in earnings, the researchers documented, was between five four and five six oh oh.
They found that the returns on height began to plateau around six feet.
Hmm. OK, so I'm I'm in excessive. It doesn't it's not serving me correct. Taking on more health risks without any financial. That's right.
Side gain. Yeah, that's right. Well then er nailed it. Is he six foot. Yeah. Oh OK.
I tried to look for the parable about the girl walking on the edge of a mountain to see if it was a parable and I couldn't really find it.
So maybe it's real.
I had never heard it. It wasn't ringing any bells for me. Me either. But it does sound similar to the one with the girl who has the red ribbon around her neck and then the ribbon comes off in, her head falls off.
Oh, I don't know that one of her, but really it was like a thing in elementary school about there was a girl and she always had a red handkerchief around her neck. And there's probably some other stuff about her mom and grocery shopping.
And then everyone was like, why are you always wearing that red scarf around your neck? And she was like, I just like it. And then one day someone pulled it off and her head fell crashing to the ground. Oh, that's the whole story.
What is the lesson to be learned? That great question.
Yeah, I don't know. I think it is just a scary story. OK, right.
So not so much a parable as a frightening story. Maybe don't be a dick and pull someone's scarf off.
I think I made that part. I think I was for embellishing. OK, flourishing. Yeah, I was flourishing for sure. But I was also embellishing because I think actually she takes it off to OK herself.
Well then it's on her. So I guess it's a personal responsibility parable. Yeah.
Yeah. Or maybe it's a parable about trying to get approval.
If she was willing to take it off to stop getting teased at the expense of her head falling off and dying.
I don't think she was teased. I think people were curious. I'm going to look at a girl with red scarf, head falls off, comes up immediately.
Gosh, this is a BuzzFeed article for everyone who's still fucked up over that story about the girl with a ribbon around her neck.
OK, it was a ribbon. That's what you said originally, by the way. And then you change it. No, I said handkerchief. Then I changed it to scarf.
I think originally I think the first time you said it a year, I think. Yeah. Today I thought you said ribbon and then you were talking about Schaft. I'm like, oh, she changed it to scarf and then you changed it to handkerchief.
I think you started with ribbon. You had a thank you for your faith, but I don't think that's true.
OK, it was from oh it's from this classic book In a dark, dark room and other stories, stories intended for children in this era. A memorable tale, a woman with a velvet rope around her neck. We'll never take it off in this very mysterious about why. In the end, it's revealed that the ribbon is the only thing keeping her head attached to her body. When the ribbon is removed, her head comes flopping off and sometimes it's still talking from the floor in the moonlight.
The tale is also incredibly spooky because of how consumed with removing the ribbon the husband becomes. It's a story of mania as well as the sometimes horrific consequences of the truth. One. So that is a parable. Yeah. Wow. Let people have their secrets. That is what it's say there had to come off.
But by the way, what a durable ribbon that it lasted her whole life.
The story ends with a mortified man uncovering a shocking secret about his wife that has loomed over their marriage the entire time.
This is a parable about a metaphor. Yeah.
Like he he wanted to know if she fucked his friend Tony 40 years ago and he couldn't let it go, couldn't let it go, couldn't let it go.
And they finally forced her to tell him and then it ruined everything. Wow. That's what it is. She bang Tony.
It displays just how haunting a woman's past can be to the male ego.
Oh, yeah. This is a great. This is a great story. It is really life affirming, happy story. All right, I'll get off of that guy. What's your favorite parable?
Oh, my favorite one is definitely those who are in church sitting on Pew.
That's not a parable. No, it has to be a story. It is.
Someone farts in church and then they have to sit in their own pew. Pew has doubled me.
Tell me to meaning's pew in church.
Pew pew. I have another one I love. OK though who go to bed with itchy but oh my God I wake up with stinky finger like these are lifeless.
No these are disgusting. They're true white boy jokes.
My mom told us so I'm sure your for the record.
Well still OK, I'm going to stick with the fact that they're discussing boy jokes. OK, but trilaterally. Yes, they're.
That's all I care about. I'm in search of the truth.
That's why I love these parables. Can you really tell me a parable you like? I don't think I know what parable like tortoise and the hare. Oh oh.
Like Trancers Table Fables or some chancer.
No. What is it?
I think Tortoise and the hare is a transfer fable, isn't it? There's a chance. I don't think Canterbury Tales.
Oh Canterbury. I was trying to think of that. But look up Chancer. Yeah, there is something. You're right. Chaucer. Chaucer. Yeah. No end Chaucer's fables. Yeah. Yeah that's right. Chancers fables. Knights tale. Wife of Barth's Tale Flower in the leaf.
That's weird. I know Chaucer's tales but I don't know a single. Fables, trousers, fables.
I don't know any of them. Canterbury Tales. I like the Arthurian legends. You do sir. Sir Lancelot.
Guinevere. OK, are they fables.
No they're they're just tales like, you know, the legend legend of Hamlet, King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable.
That's all. That was it. Yeah.
But I'm going to try to find a fable I like. OK, ok. Yeah. I don't like being taught a lesson and me and I know, I know it's exhausting. All righty. I love you.