Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Sheppard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Hi. Very fun name to say today. Camilla Mendez. It sounds good, doesn't it? Camilla Mendez? It sounds smooth. She's great. She's great. But the name is also really nice. Camilla Mendez is an actor and producer. She, of course, was in 26 Seasons of Riverdale.

So many.

Do Revenge, Dangerous Lies, Palm Springs, The Perfect Date. But she has a new movie out. If you've been on Prime recently, as we have, you certainly have seen it, Upgraded. Upgraded, a new rom-com with Camilla. We had a party with Camilla.

This was a really fun episode.

It was a very sweet one. It reminded me of her best friend a little bit when she was here.

Lily Reinhardt.

Yes. We've had a couple of younger actors on where I'm nervous. It's not going to go well. Oh, also, ding, ding, ding, Easter egg, Duck, Duck, Goose. If you've heard me say, Hollywood, wine o'clock, this is the birth of that. This is. In fact, this episode hadn't come out, but I commented on one of her posts and wrote Hollywood in all caps, wine o'clock. And I'm like, there are so many people that are genuinely embarrassed for me.

And so confused. Yes. Also, if you heard us say puce, that's this episode as well. We started a lot in this episode. This is a fertile, fertile episode. It was really, really fun.

And after you watch Upgraded and you fall in love with it, please also check her out in Musica on April fourth, also on Prime Video. She'll keep you busy on Prime Video. Oh, yeah. We love this. Thanks for coming, Camilla.

Thanks for coming.

Hello. Hello. Welcome.

It's so nice to meet you. I'm so sorry, traffic was really rough.

I'm chronically late. You were early.

You were very early.

You were early? Fuck. So you've really been waiting.

Are you a late person?

Well, Monica's probably better than a good idea.

No, you're not.

Not habitually. You're not. Not habitually. Like, probably one in five.

You're not. I mean, also this doesn't count. This is so weird because it's like the house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But in a normal life. I've never been late to a lunch to meet an executive or anything.

Okay, good for you.

It's solely Rob's fault, though.

Oh, okay. This particular situation. It's all Rob's fault.

No, you should have been. You should have anticipated the worst.

We had squirrels. I'm a Silver Lake girly.

Oh, I was going to say, what side of town are you on? Silver Lake.

Yeah, that tracks. I'm moving to Studio City soon.

To get a yard?

Well, I'm moving with my boyfriend, so. And he already lives there. Yeah, and he has a yard. But I actually have a yard, too. Not that I ever go out there.

Will you be keeping your home and renting it out? I highly recommend this.

I'll be keeping my home and moving my mom into the home. Oh, that's nice.

And when are you going to charge her for rent? Everyone's moving to Studio City. I Are you? Well. I mean, I'm not. Okay. Don't worry. Monica's building a house right there.

I know.

I heard. Okay, you already know.

Yeah, for five years now. What's your sweatshirt?

Boys get said, too. Yeah. I told you a story about we traveled on Christmas Day and I got into a real dust-up with three construction workers, and I was wearing this.

This past Christmas?

They wouldn't let me go down this road. I had passed the terminal, so I panicked we were going to miss the flight, and I really wanted to go down this road. Camilla, you may enjoy this. I'm sure you've had some experience with like myself. So once I passed the terminal, and I'm already very stressed going to the airport, and they got the whole family and we're traveling, it was like the kids, it's just stressful. And then so I pass in, I'm like, Fuck, by the way, I didn't pass it. They had shut down parking area 7, which is where I was supposed to park. So now I'm looping around. It's Christmas Day. It's a fucking mess. So now I'm panicked. I go to Turned on the Street, which I just watched someone turn down. Then immediately three construction workers step in front of the car, and it quickly escalates. It's Christmas Day. I'm wearing this sweatshirt that says, Boys, get sad, too. It gets heated as it can get with me.

This is like a movie that you're wearing that sweatshirt.

It is. In fact, it's too silly for a movie. You'd be like, This is a cheap, cheap joke. So yeah, it gets heated. I'm yelling. They're yelling. And then I drive away. They win. I surrender. I'm a piece of shit. But then also I'm a bit self-aware. I'm like, these guys are going to be telling this story like, this guy had a pink sweater on that said Boys Get Sad, too. Yet he was so aggressive. This guy, either was the wrong sweatshirt for him You need a red one that says boys get mad, too. Exactly. It says boys like to fight each other.

Duh.

Yeah, it was not the right outfit for that. I love it. I'm going to guess, minimally, maybe you listened to Lily's episode. Did you listen to Of course.

Reinhardt? No, I was telling Monica, I'm a diehard fan. Oh my God, it's so flagrant. I was telling her that when my publicist was walking me through all the press that we're doing to promote my movie, she's like, Yeah, and then Dax Sheppard. I was like, What? I freaked out. She's like, Is that the you get the most excited about? I'm like, yes. Oh my God. I love this. I'm delighted. I'm so happy to be here. We're so happy. It's the first podcast I ever started listening to. Oh, it is? This got me into podcasts.

How long ago? This is self-indulgent, but I hope to make something out of it. When Lily was on? I wasn't that early.

No, I was before Lily. When Lily told me she was going on, I was furious. I'm like, what? Okay. I'm like, You get to do it first. I think I started during COVID because we were in Vancouver filming for 10 months at a time, and I had an hour commute to work every day and back. I was seeking something more than just music on the way to work, and this was my introduction.

Was enormously flattering. Then also a curiosity stems from it, and this is where it gets a little self-indulgent, but Lily also liked it. Nina really likes it. I'm just curious why the younger female actors seem to like it. And are we underserving them? I guess is the ultimate question.

How old are you? I'm 29.

Okay, I just feel like younger people are more of all. Even we had Jenna Ortega, and she's just already so evolved. Absolutely. That I think this is a draw.

Working in the industry when you're young makes you grow up really fast.

And there's a new crop. Like, your generation is speaking about things. The musicians are acknowledging their addicts in their songs. Yeah, totally.

There's an openness.

Sam Mendes, you share a last name with. He was on them like, this guy feels like he's- Sean. Sam Mendes. He's a great director, but Sean Mendes is the boy I'm speaking of, great musician, Canadian. But yeah, he felt like he was 30 into therapy at 24. Exactly. This your generation having some tools and some awareness and some willingness to, I guess, be vulnerable.

I think it's also a lot of people, like actors in the industry have this thirst to dig deeper and get to know themselves and understand why they do the things they do. But I also feel like I know tons of people who aren't creative people who don't have as much interest in going to therapy. Yes. I just think maybe we see those people online a lot more, the ones that are very vocal and open.

Yeah. I think, too, though, you're right in that. I feel like artists over index. I think that's why they're able to access emotions. We just interviewed Juno Temple. Did you watch Fargo Season 5 yet?

I didn't. We were just talking about it.

You guys covered everything.

I hope you were recording. We already recorded the episode.

Yeah, we're done. You have to watch it.

It's so good. I know. It's a tour de force, insane. A tour de force. A tour de force. Formal. A tour de force, yeah. A force majour. She can access some stuff pretty quick, and you don't have that when you want to on a set. Then the rest of your life, you're like, No, I'm as stable as they come.

I also think we were acting every day for 10 months. We were in the habit of constantly emoting and digging deeper than the average person. Also, Riverdale is a show that was high drama all the time. Every scene, there's something like, We're always making this face. Some brooding. We're always brooding. I think when you're living that every day, you're wearing your on your sleeve constantly.

You're raw and exposed. Even reading about the fact that you guys did seven seasons, and you were doing 22 a year, you really don't even read that anymore. No. I think maybe one season of Parenthood, we did 20 or something.

We're the last of its kind. I think it ends with Riverdale, that network teen show.

Right. In a one-hour show, which means the hours are insane. What's an average day on that show?

The earlier seasons were definitely longer, 16-hour days. Then it was 13 hour days. That was the standard.

They perfected the machine a little bit. Yeah.

They knew they couldn't get away with 22 episodes of 16 hour days.

And how many days were the episodes? Seven or eight?

Nine business days, and we'd have two tandem days.

Tell me about tandem days.

Tandem days is when there's two units going on at the same time. Sure. So as you're finishing one episode, you're also starting the next episode.

You're so young, but you're like a grandma in this industry because you know what it's like to shoot 22 episodes a year. Those hours.

It's like a boot camp. It's training. I feel like I can do anything now.

I'm glad you feel that way. Similarly, my very first movie, we were in New Zealand and we were shooting very long days and we were in water that was 39 degrees and we were freezing all day long. And it was incredibly hard. I loved it. Best experience in my life. But everything after that has been easier. And that's a very nice way to go. The worst version would be like, your first job is Modern Family. You're used to shooting six hours a day.

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's the dream. And then you join Riverdale. I And they got paid so much money.

Oh, they made so much money. Yeah, they sure did.

It's funny you say that because I just did Jessie Tyler Ferguson's podcast. Oh, yeah. And it's hard not to think about how much money. I'm like, we're chatting, chatting, chatting. I'm fully connected. And then once in a while, I'm like, three points of that show.

You'll just doze off and think about.

Of what a few points of that show is worth. Yeah. Are you ever distracted by that?Follow-up question.Yeah. These other young actors I know of your ilk, you're unique and wonderful and special. So I'm not diminishing that. No, no, I But a lot of these younger actors I'm friends with, they seem to know some billionaires. Do you know any billionaires? Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Wait, really? If you've been on a boat. This feels standard. What?

Yeah. Why? A hundred %. I don't. Wait, what? Too many.

Well, because all these people are young tech billionaires, right? And they want to hang out with people.

That's the thing with billionaires. They just want to be cool. They want to have friends. They want to be liked.

They want to be movie stars.

Yeah, I know. That's the irony of all this life. Everyone just wants to be somebody else. Yeah. But who do you know that's a plan?

We'll cut it out. By the way, we really cut everything out. We're not scandalous at all. I don't know why. You can say anything you want and we'll cut it out. Okay.

We'll ask you after.

Okay, yeah.

But the reason I'm asking if you know them is, do you find yourself distracted by it as well? Because even when we're interviewing Brian Chesky, who started Airbnb and happened to know he was 38 billion. I know him. Of course. Yeah, he's dialed in. So every now and then when he's talking, it crosses my mind. If he gave me a billion dollars, he wouldn't notice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What?

That's crazy. Right. That someone could just give a billion and not even think about it.

No, because they'd be like, Can I have 37 or 39? Whatever. I have a ton of billions.

At that point, you can't even comprehend the difference.

It's not even real anymore. No. Money is not real. It's just a concept.

You're just mildly tracking it. Yeah. Or we know Bill Gates.

We know Bill Gates?

Yes, we've interviewed him twice. He's flown to do a live show.

He did this podcast? Yeah, twice. I need to listen to that episode.

He flew to Seattle to join us on a live show on a stage in front of 3,000 people. Obsessed. What a party animal.

I couldn't believe it. Who do you get nervous interviewing?

Great question. Letterman. Oh, my God. Yeah. Hyper idol's of mine. But more Often it is Sapolsky, this genius professor who's written my favorite book.

Like hyper intellectual people that you're like, I want to keep up with you and be on your level.

I don't want to be the dumb dyslexic kid. I really want them to think I'm smart, which is a terrible motivation to have, but I have it. And maybe their topic is really dense, too. So I've got to research it and be able to have an understanding. You got to do your homework. Exactly. Those tend to be the ones. Would you agree? Who do you get nervous around?

Matt Damon? Obviously. Your childhood loves of your life. Of course.

You're soulmates. You're twin flames.

My twin flame.

I've been nervous a few times. He's probably the most. I think I was nervous for Letterman because I was nervous for Dax.

Nervous by proxy.

It meant so much to him. This was such a big deal that I felt like, oh, my gosh, I just hope this goes the way he wants it to go.

Gp made her nervous, I do recall.

Oh, yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow.

Oh, my God. Gwyneth P. The goop entrepreneur. I'm obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Does she make you nervous? Have you seen her in real life? Do you feel like you've got a tinkle when you think about interacting with her?

I don't know. Okay.

Maybe not. Can you think of someone who does make you?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure I can. I'm just terrible when people put me on the spot with things. So then 20 minutes from now now we'll be talking about something. I'll be like, Oh, that's someone that would make me nervous.

Perfect. And that is obviously, as you would know, the vibe of the show, so you're free to bring that up at any time. Did you have a childhood idol?

Did you have a childhood?

Have you ever been a child? Kind of a fair question.

Yeah, honestly.

Did you have someone that you were like, That's the actor I want to be. Who was it, and have you met them?

Yes, it was Rachel Billson from the OC because I love that show as a teenager. I've met her multiple times, and I always tell her. She's like, No, I remember.

I know. You love me.

But she's so sweet. She was so sweet. She gave me her number. She's like, Call me whenever. If you want to chat. I was like, Yes.

Do you know Wabi Wab produces her podcast?

You do?

And he's often in the videos with her, and he's a better actor than all of us.

I was invited to go on the podcast, but I couldn't go because I was filming, but I'm totally go now. Just spend it out there. Spend it out there. Camilla's only second podcast ever. I've only done before this.

I listened to the other one. Okay, homework.

You were great. She talks about mental health in a very casual, relatable way. It feels like you're just talking to another girl. There's something really nice about that.

And she's a teacher of some type? Because she was saying... Oh, no, I'm getting confused. She was saying the students in her class were products of divorce at a rate of 80 %. But for a second thought she meant her own students. But now I'm remembering she just meant her classmates.

Maybe you're confusing it with me saying that I took a children of divorce class in college?

That was when you were talking about Got it. And then she said that in her high school, 80 % of the people she was in high school with, which felt high.

It's a very good memory, Dex. Oh, thank you. I'm impressed.

It's pretty fresh. Don't get too excited.

That's why he was late. He was like, Divorce. Got it.

Can we go back to Charlottesville? Let's start in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Well, I don't have much of a memory because I was like one when I moved out of Charlottesville. But didn't you move back? I did. Also for like a year.

You moved 16 times? Yeah. So we share this in common. Yours were more dramatic. Charlottesville, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Brazil, Orlando, South Florida. Exactly. Okay, so when do your memories start of getting uprooted and how did you deal with it?

I don't actually remember having a conversation about moving until I was a pre-tean. When we were leaving my neighborhood in fifth grade, I was devastated. But at that point, we were already in South Florida. So the move wasn't that drastic, but I was leaving the school. I was moving an hour away. You had finally got friends. But that was the hardest part was just saying goodbye to my Okay, here's a fun question.

It's a machine gun, Kelly, one. What place do you say is home? Because I have a place I say that's home, but I was only there for three years.

Miami and Fort Lauderdale, I'd say. Just South Florida, really, because it's all one big city. When I moved to South Florida, in fifth grade, I was actually in Coral Springs, which is where Marjorie Stilman Douglas is, the school with the shooter and everything. What's the vibe down there? My sister went to that school, and she was like... Oh, my God. She wasn't very happy there. She was older. I never went there. And then in sixth grade, I started at one school, and I stayed there through senior year. Oh, you did a full- I stayed at the same school for that duration, which was six years, even though I moved a lot while I was there. I stayed in one apartment that I moved in with my dad, and my mom went to Brazil, and then she came back, and then I moved back in with her. There was a lot of long car rides, long bus rides.

How did you entertain yourself? It was the radio? Music. Did you also love South Florida because obviously there's a huge Latino vibe there? Yeah, exactly. You're finally going to bump into some Brazilians, probably.

It took me so long to embrace my Brazilian culture when I was younger. I didn't wear it proudly for a long time. Yeah?

Oh, yeah. I'm still working on it.

Yeah. I was in the south for a lot of my childhood. I know South Florida is still the south, but it's not. It's like Latin America. But in Georgia and Virginia, we had some family friends that were Brazilian, so I did have a little bit of that presence. But for the most part, all my friends were white Southern girls. I didn't ever really have anyone to share my cultural identity I would even argue you're incentivized to not. Exactly. Also because guys didn't have a crush on me. I was like the unibrow hairy girl with glasses. Guys did not like me. I remember there was a girl, Sarah Corn. Her last name was Corn. She had the blondeest of blonde hair with blue eyes. I was like...

If I were only Sarah Corn. Exactly. Shout out Shera Corn. I love these- Shera Corn. Shera Korn. Share her Corn with me. Where in Atlanta are you?

Alpharetta.

I'm from Duluth. Oh, cool. No, don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, though. It's the same, essentially. Was John's Creek a thing yet?

Is that the school?

No. John's Creek is an area, but it's a piece of Alpharetta. Okay.

But then it became its own city. Because I remember my school was called Something Creek. It was like Big Creek, Old Creek Elementary, something like that. Chattahoochee Creek. A lot of creeks.

I like Chetahouche Elementary. Very, very close.

We- So you were Indian and you were Brazilian. Both of your parents immigrated here.

Exactly. Both of them together. At what age were they? I actually don't know because my dad went to college in Brazilia, but then went to University of Tokyo for grad school. And what was his- And then my mom went with him. And what was his degree in? Mechanical engineering.

Oh, I'm so horny for that. Guess what? Monica's father.

Really? Structural engineer.

I think it's a big immigrant thing. It is. They love engineering over there. I have so many engineers in the family.

Yes, and I had two engineer stepdads, and at the risk of offending them, there's a vibe. I think if you're going to be already from a different culture, that's the dream environment, because everyone's talking numbers. They're getting on to brass tax. It's not sales, it's not public relations, it's not marketing. It's like you have a skill set that largely exists in math, and so the cultural differences are probably very much mitigated by the task at hand.

Well, also just practically, I know for Indians, it was because that's how you could get a job here, engineering or computer science.

If you wanted to work visa, that's the move.

Yeah, you had to.

Yeah, my dad started in GE and then worked his way up really fast in GE.

Very great company.

Yeah. And that's why we were in Charlottesville, Virginia, because that's where GE was at the time.

My father-in-law was just making a very hard sales pitch for me to check out the GE monogram series of Ranges and Ovens. He swears they're the best in the world. And this was a two Our sales pitch. Wow. I've never heard someone that loved a product more than if he loves his monogram series, GE.

You should try it.

When we're pot committed, we got this ridiculously expensive French thing that I hate. I fucking hate.

What French thing?

We're not going to disparage it. We're not going to disparage It is impossible to use. I'm so glad you guys got it because I would have bought it for my house because it's gorgeous.

What's the appeal?

It's gorgeous.

It's just beautiful.

I'll give it that. It's the centerpiece of the house, and it's astronomically expensive. And to light the burner, you have to hold it for 25, 30 seconds.

I'm too scared to use it.

Yeah, it's dangerous. So the monogram by GE. Apparently, very friendly.

User friendly.

Thank you so much. I'm glad you come from this background. Did Did you ever go to work with dad at GE?

No, I didn't.

Did he end up being a manager of things?

I'm totally going to butcher his story, but I know that he quickly got promoted to higher positions and then eventually started working for a completely different company that had nothing to do with engineering, and he just became a CEO. He transferred over into corporate world in business.

Is he a babe? Who of your parents is a babe? Because you're so objectively attractive.

They're both objectively attractive, I'd say. They are.

I want to see the mom.

I'm sure you do that. I do.

Oh my God, she would be so flirty with you.

Oh, really? She's single.

Let's get her on the FaceTime.

She's like a really bubbly personality.

We're probably the same age. No.

How old is she? She's 60, almost. Yeah. She's going to kill me for saying that. She's 59. Okay, great.

That's nothing. That's a 10-year guy. I'm 49. Let's follow up on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did she do? And did they know each other in Brazil or did they meet here?

They met when They were 14 in Brazil. They were high school sweethearts who stayed together. She went to Japan with him when he graduated school. She was a housewife for most of her life. Then recently, my parents divorced a long time ago. You were eight? Homework. Homework, dad. It's been done. The homework has been done. Yeah, I was eight years old. It wasn't until college that my mom started training to be a flight attendant. So now she's a flight attendant.

Awesome. Oh, my God. This would be the dream if I bump into her up at 30,000 feet.

Maybe. If you travel American, she'll be there.

She must tell people that you're her daughter.

Oh, yeah. No, she does. If anyone's watching my show, she'll be like, That's my daughter.

Good for her.

How fun for her. I know. No, and she's like a celebrity at American Airlines. People know. They know that she's my mom, and she loves it.

I love that for you. I would bump into. My mother, she had this business, and it did public relations for General Motors, and they would have these big events. One of them being GM would sponsor Sundance. So they would provide transportation for all the actors that were in town. My mother was there with her business, and she was regularly driving. I cannot tell you how many people I have bumped into over the years that were like, Oh, yeah, we haven't met, but your mom drove me in Sundance, and I heard all about...

Why didn't she drive me in Sundance when I was there a few years ago?

She probably did. Well, I guess she'd remember because she would have told you she was my mom. But it's funny because when I hear about your mom doing it, I love it, and I love it for her and you. But with my mom, I was a little embarrassed.

She's basking in the attention. She loves it. Good for her.

Even in Parenthood, when I met Peter Krauza, first thing he said to me is like, I know your mother really well. I rode with her three times in Sundance. She told me your whole story.

Oh, my God.

I have yet to have someone meet my mother before they meet me.

I do wonder if I've met her.

Maybe. She has gray hair. She let her natural hair grow out. She's embracing aging. I think it's beautiful. I love that. She works first class cabin. Okay. I don't know how to say it in English, but she said- Say it in Portuguese, please. She's like chef di cabini, which means cabin chief, maybe, or manager of the cabin.

Like, Queen of the Cabin.

Yeah, she's Queen of the cabin. Wow. That's the formal term. I love this for her.

I love her.

Queen of the cabin. Yeah. I was going dictator of the cabin, but queen of the Cabin is much better. Yeah, queen of the cabin.

What's her route? Well, right now, she's commuting from Arizona. She's about to live here. She moved to LA. But it's really hard to transfer to the American Airlines base in LA. It's a highly desirable base.

And tell me why?

Because everyone wants to live in LA.

Well, that would be my guess. But also, what's tricky is I imagine the salaries are based across the nation.

But LA is just a lovely great place to live for a lot of people. Yeah.

And if your daughter is Camilla Mendez, you get a house.

She was in Miami before, which was a great base, and she got a lot of good flights going out of there, especially to Brazil. She was living with my sister for a long time. My sister finally moved out and is now living in Ireland with her husband. So my mom's an empty nester. She doesn't have a husband. She's like, Why am I here in Florida when I could be in LA with my daughter? Yeah. How old is your sister? She's 33.

Okay, so this is comforting because even though you were moving around a lot, You have minimally had her. Are you guys tight?

We're tight. We're both terrible at texting. We don't have that dynamic where we are texting and calling all the time. But when I see her, we're sharing tons of stories. We're super open with each other.

But she's also four years older than you?

I was starting high school when she went to college. Right. So not around for most of my high school experience.

Did you like her boyfriend's?

We have very different types. Okay.

What's her type? She's like, my sister's a...

No, it's fine. I don't know that she also has- Maybe it's not.

Maybe I just pressured you. It sounds like it's not.

But I have an answer. I have an answer.

And it's that she- Well, because I know your type, or at least I know who you're dating currently.

Do you know my type?

I think I do.

It's all over the place, though. Okay, let's see. No guy that I've dated is the same, I feel.

I bet you they have a quintessential quality that you're attracted to?

Maybe. Let's talk about your sister's type first. Maybe some of them, but my sister's type. More importantly, my sister's type. I'd say she likes a nerd because she's nerdy herself. She's so fucking smart. My sister is a little genius, and I feel like she needs who can keep up with her in that way. I'd say she likes more introverted, smart guys.

Yeah, I like that about her.

I love her. She was a gamer girl for a long time. She was really good at League of Legends. She's in that world.

I got my arms around what I think she is and who she likes.

You know what? Everything.

Who I like or my sister? Your sister. Okay.

Because my fear was you're going to go like, who's my sister? And in your head, you're like, she likes dumb, dumb jocks. And then you were like, how am I going to say this in a non-offensive way. But this was ideal. I love when girls like nerds.

Yeah. Nerds run the world. I love nerds. Billionaires. Yeah. They're all nerds. It all goes back to billionaires. Wait, so your type?

Let's find the three lines. My type. I don't think there is one. I really don't.

Funny?

Are they all funny? Definitely funny. But I've dated non-funny guys. How boring. Didn't work out. Yeah, I know. If you can't make me laugh, it doesn't last.

But your current boyfriend, Rudy?

Very funny.

Of course. Successful as someone who's funny.

Do you know her boyfriend? I know who he is.

Okay, back to eight.

We were on something.

We were talking about moving around a lot. We were talking about what's home, and home is South Florida, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and Georgia, running from your resilientness.

Oh, That's what it was. Being in the theater department in high school, I could see how me being Latina was limiting. And so I would literally wear sunscreen all over my body in high school. Oh, boy. Our school was outdoors. It almost was like a campus. A lot of exposure. So I was always in the sun, and I get tan really easily. So then I was like, I need to wear a constant sunscreen. I mean, in a way, it's very good for your skin. It is good for your skin. You got ahead of the game. But it was motivated by a desire to have lighter skin.

Did you think for a second when she said that about the sunscreen that she was trying to make her skin white? Oh, no, did you? Yeah. Oh, wow. For a second.

You want to hang in on me?

I just wanted to know if you thought that. But also, when I was a teenager, there weren't that many opportunities for Latina actresses. So I think This has changed a lot. Part of that has helped. I feel like I'm so appreciative, and I embrace my culture so much now.

What was the year you lived in Brazil like? In what city were you in?

I was in Brazil, which is the capital. I loved it. It was the first time I got to live close to my extended family and see them regularly. But Brazilia is not really a representation of Brazil because it's so manmade. It's so new. It was built in the '60s. If you look at it from a bird's-eye view, it's structured like an airplane. It's very Every street is like block B, block G. There's not much charm to it. I mean, there is to me because that's what I'm familiar with. I see the beauty in it. I think it's so fascinating to have a city like that. I just think it's really interesting.

Because it's modern, Obviously.

Very modern.

And what age were you when you lived there? I was 10, 11. And obviously, when you were there, I'm assuming the people that lived there saw you as an American.

I'd say so. I went to the school called the Escola Americana de Brasil, which is American school in Brazilia. So because Brazilia is the capital, everyone that went to that school, their dad or mom or whoever worked at the embassy, it was like an international school. I was surrounded by people from all over the world. I didn't necessarily feel like a fish out of water there because everyone was a fish out of water.

How are you doing moving around through the streets of Brazilia?

Brazilia is so safe and chill. It's not like other cities in Brazil. Right.

Not like Rio de Janeiro? No.

There's definitely still violence and things happen.

You already spoke Portuguese I presume.

Yeah. Then this made my Portuguese stronger and better because then I was learning grammar and speaking it regularly. I feel like now my level of Portuguese speaking is so much stronger.

Two questions. Which do you prefer speaking? If you got to only speak Can you speak one of the languages for the rest of your life and everyone be able to understand what you're saying? What would it be?

I have to say English because it's such a universal language.

But in this scenario on painting, you're communicating with everyone.

Okay. Then Portuguese. Absolutely. I love speaking Portuguese. I My English is stronger. I feel more confident. I feel funnier in English. I feel like I'm more myself in English. I don't get to practice my Portuguese often enough to feel like it's a representation of who I am when I speak.

Because to me, it appears to be like if you gave me the choice between driving a Ferrari and a Landrover, the musicality to the language. I mean, things are popping. There's a flow. I would way prefer to speak that.

There's a lot more expression in Portuguese. There's a lot more emotion. Anytime me and my mom get in a fight and I'm speaking in English, she's like, Can you speak Portuguese, please? She's like, When you're speaking English, you sound like a robot. She's like, I feel like there's no emotion in your voice. That's crazy because I feel like there is. But when I'm speaking in Portuguese, she feels like there's a warmth in the way that I speak that maybe when I'm fighting in English, I don't have.

Phonically, it sounds more passionate, more romantic, more everything.

Exactly, yeah. Now I'm dating Rudy, and he is- Is Brazilian as well, right? He is Brazilian. So for the first time ever, I'm dating someone who I can speak Portuguese with. And it's That's amazing because now there's a whole side of me that was dormant that I didn't get to bring out and show people. Now I get to share that with him. We make jokes in Portuguese all the time. It's like we have our own little language together.

Monica is going to erupt in flames with this question, but during the lovemaking, we must be speaking Portuguese, right?

Absolutely not. Oh, English.

No.

Really? No.

Oh, my God.

Would you laugh?

Doesn't that seem It's natural?

It's still not my dominant language, though.

It's a big swing.

I don't even know what I would say in Portuguese. Remember, I learned Portuguese from my family. I don't know what I would say.

Okay, forget lovemaking. But How about when things are getting romantic, you guys are having a drink together in the evening. We'll transition into Portuguese, and that is more connected and more emotional.

Yeah, we speak Portuguese with each other a lot.

Okay. What percentage will we say?

I'll be realistic. I'll say it's like 30 %. That's great.

And then in But incredibly, every time you're around people, you guys can openly gossip about people right in front of them. What a superpower for a couple to have.

But it's also as soon as you do that, people know there must be something you're hiding. They can feel it.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

You know how couples have a voice? You have the way that you speak when you're being cute with each other. We switch to Portuguese when we do that. We have an inside joke of speaking Portuguese. In a way, it's mauling our family in a loving way. We hear the way they speak to us. So we speak that way to each other is an inside joke.

Yeah, because if you think about when you're in public with your partner, half of what you're doing is connecting like, oh, my God, did you hear that? Yeah. But you have a very specific look on your face. Exactly. It's the nudge of the knee. So to have a language you could actually I also am proud of you because if you grew up trying to stifle that part, to now choose a partner where that's a big part of your life and to bring it back out and understand that it's okay.

Totally.

That's a big arc. It's like we can understand each other in ways I've never felt understood, especially around family and the relationship to family. I think Americans have a lot of boundaries with family. I've struggled in therapy to talk this because Brazilian mothers, and Rudy made a movie about this that's going to come out, Música in April. And in the movie he talks about, it has to do with having these overbearing Brazilian mothers who just love too hard. And that's very normal in Brazil. You're very attached to your family. And therapists will be like, You got to draw the line. They really enforce the boundaries, but it doesn't work. It just doesn't work. I'm like, But do you understand Brazilian families? This doesn't apply here, and I can't fight it. Resisting it is making it worse.

They had a boundaries vaccine. They're completely inoculated from boundaries.

My mom was like, Boundaries. Boundaries are toxic. She might be right, by the way. No. Boundaries aren't good. But I think Rudy has helped me embrace that type of familial dynamic because he experiences it, too, when we can connect over that and make peace with it instead of fight it.

And I bet there's so much more understanding for what each person is going through with their family. And tolerance when the other person's family is around.

Helping each other exercise patience.

Was he born there or here?

He was born in New Jersey.

Okay, great. Both of his parents also?

His dad's Italian. Oh, wow. And his mom's Brazilian. But yeah, they both are integrated.

This is a passion atomic ball. Oh, yeah. Wow, I want to see him fly off the handle or something.

What's his type? Let's talk about his types now.

A fire extinguisher? You just said something that was intriguing.

Oh, I think we could- That she's proud me? Yeah.

She is proud of you. Our very close friend, Ana, is Venezuelan. I think we could stereotype here. The whole Latin family world is so much closer, and I think a very enviable way. I think it'd be a big pain in the ass at times. But overall, I think that's what a family should be.

Very special. Yeah. It's a support system. It's a community of people. I'm so envious of my family that lives there because when I go visit in Brazil and I see my family, they have the closest relationships and they see each other every weekend. There's such a family vibe there. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, I wish I had that.

In COVID, Ana would get on these Zoom calls with 16 members of her family. They'd all get hammered. They'd be on a Zoom call for six hours. They'd be partying together. I'm like, Fuck, that seems fun.

And her girlfriend just went with her to Spain for a family wedding, and she came back and she was like, I'm so jealous of that. What happens when they're all together. I noticed that I like that, too, because I think it's a lot of places, not just Latin countries, but Indian families are like that, too. It's super tight and everyone's living with each other until they're old. I have distanced myself so much from it that I can see it from a bird's-eye view America is so closed off family-wise.

Well, the waspy Protestant history, the English. We'll go to England, everyone's still so polite.

But it does feel crazy that you send your children off to college at 18. Sometimes I'm like, 18-year-olds, they're so baby. And then they're going to live by themselves. That's crazy. Yeah. But I did it. I guess I'm fine.

Well, that was my next question. How long before you got into Tisch? You went to NYU Tisch. That's where my wife went. Oh, really?

I didn't know that.

She did musical theater. Big fan of your wife. Well, I'll pass that along to her. I'm hoping some of these things still occurred there that I've learned occurred while she was there. When did you set your sights on it and what was the fantasy?

I had wanted to go there for a long time, but I also wanted to go to UCLA, but I didn't get in.

Well, I can't wait to report this to my wife because we fight all the time.

Because Dax went to UCLA.

You went to UCLA.

Yeah, it's a very good school.

Go Bruins. But I did a summer program there when I was 17, an acting program. Oh, fun. And I was like, I need to go to this school. I was so excited. But I recognize how difficult it was to get in, especially when you're not a California resident.

And at high school. I could have never got in at high school. I transferred.

But I mean, I'm glad I went to NYU because I got to study acting with a BFA a BFA and not a BA. The BA, I would have had a lot more Gen Eds. Even the amount of Gen Eds I had at NYU, I was like, I'm over it.

Okay, so if you do a BFA, you don't have to do all these prerequisite.

It's Bachelor of Fine Arts versus just a Bachelor of Arts. There's less of all the math and all the regular stuff you have to take.

It was more concentrated. I still had certain requirements, but not as much.

I know you use a better school for liberal arts education.

We love a liberal arts I remember I had gotten to Emerson on a full ride, and my dad was really stoked about that. Then I got the NYU acceptance letter with no scholarship. Right. He's like, Yay. I'm so proud of you.

You're killing me.

God, that's an expensive school. I know.

It's insane. What is it?

Like 40,000 or something?

No.

Try double that. A semester.

Oh, okay.

It's probably in the one-a-a-a year.

It's 80 grand a year.

Maybe more.

Pretty much, yeah. Do you know how much UCLA was in 2000?

In state. You're saying in state.

Obviously.

How much was it?

$3,800. In state, though. What? $3,800. Are you kidding? I got a full degree from there for under $8,000.

That's insane. But if you were out of state, it would have been... I don't know. Do you remember how much it was out of state?

It was significantly more, but I want to say it was in the high 20s. I don't know what it is now.

At that time, it was a long time ago.

Back when your mom and I were in college. What's her number?

What's her type?

She like white boys? She does, actually. I cannot wait to be on American Airlines flight. I know I will be. I'm whaling it into my life.

Just fly out of Phoenix next time.

I'm going to be up in that fucking right by the toilet where they hate when people congregate. I'm going to be up there shooting the shit and giggling and laughing for the whole flight. People are going to be like, What is this guy doing?

You're going to have Riverdale on the whole flight.

Yes, I'm going to make sure everyone- Have you seen Giselle Mendez? I'm glad for you that you didn't go to UCLA because I think if anyone ever has an excuse to live in New York for a moment of their life, fuck that education, fuck whatever. I'm very envious of that.

I'm so happy I went to school there.

Did you land and just go like, Oh, my God, this is my life.

I'm in a storybook. Especially coming from Miami, because I already had a little bit of a party phase at that time as I was graduating high school. And then I went to New York. I was like a kid in a candy store. But in a way that it was destructive for the first year.

Oh, good. I like to hear that.

But then I got my shit together.

Just because there were so many clubs and parties.

Oh, my God. I lived it up freshman year because you could. Big city. But I have acting classes to go to, and I was hung over.

The bar is closed at 4:00 AM there. I wouldn't have lived if I lived there, actually, because just when I would go there to do press, it was almost life-ending every time because it just never stops.

It's so stimulating.

Oh, it's so fun. Yeah. Okay, now, here's the weird questions that I am most amused by my wife's education there. She explained to me, we were walking on the street, and she's like, Oh, I used to go to that building and do Alexander Technique. And I'm like, What the fuck is Alexander Technique? And she goes, I'm surprised they allowed it. We were in our sweat pants and we would lay on top of each other and we would breathe in each other's mouths.

And tremble, right?

Yes, and the boys would be erect. Of course. They're like 19-year-old boys. They're laying down girls. Are they still teaching Alexander? A hundred % they are.

Oh, my God. They love Alexander. Alexander Technique. Walk us through what a normal class in Alexander. Well, okay. You know how NYU Tish has different acting studios that you can go to?

I don't, but I know there's a musical theater.

I'm assuming your wife was in musical theater. I was in one called Playwrights Horizons. Each studio had its own curriculum, and they did things differently. I never had a straight Alexander Technique class, but we did dabble in it. It's part of any movement class. I feel like you learn Alexander Technique.

You'd gather in the morning, and then the teacher would be like, Let's start moving. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this was Alexander Technique.

My memory be mistaken, but basically, we would lie down and try to find the tremor in your body. You would try to find the push and pull of your knee. You know what I mean? Where the sweet spot between. And that would be how you release tension. Yeah. And then people start crying and laughing because it's like when we do it in our hips in certain areas and you'd find the tremor there.

Trauma would be released?

Yeah. And people would be like, crying hysterically. Oh, wow.

I thought people were making that up.

Oh, yeah, 100 %.

That was happening.

People would cry and stuff in movement class.

Oh, you're saying you thought people were making that up?

Yeah, because I also did some acting. And in those classes, people would cry, and I in in my head, because I'm a double Virgo, I didn't know it then, but I was. I was like, they're lying. They're forcing this to be the teacher-They're performing. It's a performance. Yeah, exactly.

I'm not doing it. We're so similar in that way. It's like, if I'm not experiencing it, it's not real. You're faking it because if it were real, I'd be experiencing it.

But it's crazy because it's $80,000 a year. For that.

To have a good cry.

And you're just like, crumbling on the floor in your sweat pants. And they're like, All right, good luck paying off your debt. Exactly.

You graduated from NYU?

I did. And the timing was insane. I finished classes a semester early, but then I wasn't going to graduate until May of 2016. Between me finishing classes in May of 2016, I booked Riverdale and shot the pilot. And then we found out we were getting picked up a few weeks before I graduated. And then I had Yankee Stadium graduation. That's where people graduate? Upfronts, which is that thing that network TV does. And then Radio City Music Hall graduation for Tisch. Upfronts were perfectly sandwiched between the two. Oh, wow. So I got to do all three and not have to sacrifice any of that.

So clearly you had an agent while you were at college? How did you get called in for Riverdale? And they saw people in New York, obviously.

Yeah, they did. They were nationwide. It was crazy. I interned for a talent agency when I was a junior. Which one? I think a really small one. Carson Kolker.

Very trusted brand.

Yeah, they were really small. There was three people in the office.

It was a tiny agency. Would you submit yourself to things as you were working on a desk?

No, but I started to get a lay of the land, and I was like, Oh, this is how it works, and these are the little breakdowns. I would see the breakdowns and be like, I'd be good for that.

Yeah, I could play a- I snuck my way in there. 31-year-old Jewish mom. When you're starting out, you think you can play anything. Oh, my God, anything. I could play 40, I could play 16, you name it.

I snuck my way in there because I told the guy who was hiring me, I was like, Yeah, I'm really interested in the other side of the business. And then he brought me on, and then I got to see how these things are run. And then at the end of my internship, I was like, Hey, totally not a big deal if you say no, all good. But would you be down to audition me? Yeah. And they were like, Absolutely, because at that point, we created a friendship. Yeah, they liked you. And so I auditioned for them, and then that's how I started working.

And when you took that internship, if we're being fully honest now, was your intention to get represented by them?

Honestly, no. I think I just needed experience. I was doing classes at NYU during the summer, and I wanted to also gain some work experience while I was there. It started off genuinely just me wanting to understand more about the business. And then as I was there, I was like, I wonder if they'd sign me. And then I realized, you know what? I actually think maybe they would.

Well, I think if you're in the non acting world, you might think, oh, yeah, you get an agent. And then for me, I couldn't get an agent. I didn't get an agent for four years. Finally, when I was performing at the Groundings every Sunday, I finally got an agent. The agent was so bottom of the barrel. They literally went bankrupt while I was shooting the pilot of Punk. I was like, Where are my checks? Then I couldn't get a hold of the woman, and then they were straight up Chapter 11.

That's who I was represented by. That's the benefit of school sometimes. They do the showcases and also applying for a job or an internship. They're like, Oh, NYU. Okay. That's really what you're paying for.

That's what the 80 grand a year gets you.

Which is a leg up.

But I also think if you met an Endeavor agent in a bar and said, Look, I'm about to spend 240 grand in NYU. I'll give you 180 grand to represent me. It might be cheaper.

That's not a bad idea. It's not.

I wonder if anyone's tried that.

I'm about to dump a quarter mil on this. Would you rep me for 100 grand?

God, I I could have done that.

I know. I just didn't have the 100 grand.

We didn't think that one through.

No. I had $3,800. What if I said, I'm about to go to UCLA, but I'll give you 3800 dollars to represent me.

I have a question. When did... Because you said you didn't think you were pretty Or- And when did you realize you were a 10?

Wait, wait, when did I say that?

Okay, didn't you say that?

Yeah, you said you're a big Unibrown, you're a hairy monster.

When I was in elementary school. Yeah, for sure.

And you felt like, oh, gosh, there's all these Sarah Corn.

Sarah Corn. The world. Shout out, Shera. Shera Corne. Shera Corne.

She did it again. I can't say it. Could never be with her.

But when did you realize?

That I was pretty? Yeah.

I mean, really.

If you were hot. I'm curious. This is a hard question to answer, but we're forcing you to.

No, I think I was in sixth grade because I started waxing my legs and my unibrow. You waxed your full leg? Yeah, I started young. I had a lot of hair on my legs. I know, but that's so tight. I had a full unibrow. It was time. Okay.

They're back, though.

No, 100%. Yeah.

Have you thought about... You're growing them out. Did you electrolysis it at this point? Like laser?

Yeah. No, not here.

Do they call it that anymore? Laser.

They call it laser.

They call it laser. They call it laser. They call it laser electrolysis.

Sorry, I'm your mom's agent. My gray hair is coming in, too.

No, I actually was talking about that with someone the other day. I was like, Maybe I should laser this because I have to tweeze here constantly. Sure. Yeah. And someone's like, Why don't you just laser? And I was like, Well, what if it comes back in style to have a unibrow?

And they're like, Cammi, that's not going to happen. Well, not maybe full. But I don't believe that. I even noticed my good friend Mae Whitman. She started wearing her eyebrows where it was coming around more like Frida-Cawla. Cawla.

I just think my eyes are too close together that if I do that, it'll bring them in more.

You'll look like a cyclops.

I'll look a little cross-side. Okay. Yeah.

And maybe you'll become cross-side because you'll start focusing on the hair that you can see.

Unibrowse, I feel really certain that in my lifetime, they're not coming back.

I don't think so.

A unibrowse. Thick brows, yeah.

Maybe almost connecting but not connecting.

No, I don't think so.

You know, this is a weird story, you guys. I was somehow somehow at my family Christmas, and there was a video camera running. I don't know how all this happened, but on the video camera, I was saying that I have been cursed with the family unibrow. I was in seventh grade. I was plucking mine in junior high or something. And I said this on this family cousin's video. This is the weirdest. I got a letter in the mail. Mind you, also, this was nine towns over that my cousin's lived. My cousin's friend saw that video and wrote me a letter that said, I have great compassion for a man with a unibrow. It was a good forward. I got hit on in the mail. I got a letter.

Wait, he was hitting on you? She.

She. I know. I heard male and I thought male.

Me too. M-a-i-m. Now, God, I wish I had that letter. And here's what happened.

I love the word compassion. I know.

That was such a odd- I don't even know that that's what it was, but it was basically saying, I know you have a unibrow and I like it. That's how you interpreted it. It was the letter.

Oh, wow. And how old was she?

Well, my was my age.

Oh, I imagine her to be like 40.

I would have been down. Anyways, it was so complicated. I was flattered. I was so embarrassed. Someone knew I had a unibrow besides my family.

So I couldn't- As if it wasn't on your face? I was plucking it. Oh, you're-Oh, oh.

Yes. God, no. I didn't actually have one. So I was flattered and I wanted to be with her, but I was too embarrassed. She knew I couldn't start up a thing with someone that knew I had a Unibrow. This is my big secret. It was already out. Then this tremendous guilt that I wasn't rewarding her forwardness. This was such a brave thing for a seventh-grade girl to do. I pray someone in the audience knows this person just says, I've always been in awe of your confidence.

That's really bold.

I'm going to add something. I feel like you didn't like her because in your head, you're like, Well, she probably has a unibrow, which is why she likes it. I hate with that. I hate her. She's ugly.

That is very ungenerous assessment of what I was feeling.

I'm just saying you are young, and young people do this.

But I just don't know all four of my reactions, which is deep flattery, deep embarrassment, shame, total admiration, and then major guilt that I reward her forwardness with a reciprocation.

And fear that she was so ugly. Shera Korn.

Shera Korn.

Is that you Shera Korn? That was her.

She's made her way around.

I only know one other person with your experience, really, and that's Ashton Kutcher, the first audition of his life was The 70's Show. And there's got to be pros and cons to it. Of course, as someone who it took forever to get employed, I was just jealous of that scenario. But at the same time, I now, in retrospect, I'm delighted. I had a whole real life here that I was miserable and not important, and I really am grateful that I had that struggle before. So I'm curious for you, what were the pros and cons of it happening that immediately after school?

I had been auditioning for a year, I guess, which I know isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it's not like Riverdale was my first audition. It was just my first bite.

And I didn't mean to say it that way. You were still in school. It's not like you had moved.

I had the safety net of school.

Yeah, and you had moved to another city and we're sitting around.

I just got so lucky. The funny thing is in college, in my acting classes, I had a teacher that would be like, You're going to play a popular girl in a CW show one day. He would say that to me all the time.

Were you by that comment? Yeah, I was actually. Yeah, because you're NYU-tish.

Yeah, but I thought it was also flattering because I'm like, Oh, there's a place for me in the industry. I'm marketable. But I was like, What about an HBO show?

Yeah, what about Breaking Bad?

But he was right. It's a hard question. I haven't noticed that it's affected me in any serious negative way.

It's impossible to know.

But I also just finished the show.

Where did it shoot?

Vancouver.

Fuck. I've had a couple of friends that were on shows that went a very long time there, and one of the people went mad. They left a very popular show and been offered a trillion dollars and just couldn't do it anymore. Not that Canada is an unpleasant place, but it's like, your life is on pause. You don't live there. You're not building a network that will go on.

It has nothing to do with Canada. It has to do with being somewhere that isn't your home for 10 months out of a year for seven years. Also, it consumes you. Everything revolves around it. When you have time off and the things that you get to do in between, it's always like, Okay, well, when are we back shooting this? Okay, and then that ends when? And you got invited to this event? Okay, let me clear it with production. Everything is always about-Trying to get back to LA for five minutes? Yeah. So every decision in my life, I had to clear through the show.

Here's a logistical question. Since you were living in New York and you got cast on a show that was shooting in Vancouver, there's really no incentive for you to move anywhere, I guess. When did you move to LA?

Well, there was an incentive because at least LA was closer to Vancouver than New York was.

So Did you immediately get an apartment when you got on that show out here?

After season one, I got a place in LA. Got an apartment for the time in between.

Right. Which was two months. Yeah.

I would just get an Airbnb, furnished rental, and then-Pry. Yeah, try to get other work and then go back. But that's another thing. A lot of us wanted to continue working on our time off because this was our only opportunity to do other things.

To take this opportunity and make the most of it. Yeah.

And so you'd go from 10 months to then two months on something else and then It was just this never-ending work cycle.

You just didn't stop working for seven years.

No.

Here's another thing that happens up there. This is what would have killed me if I was ever young and on a show up there is you're not home. No one's looking. There's this weird anonymity you feel being in another city you don't live in. I think you can get into more and more trouble. If you make a mess, it's like, I don't live here. I'm going to go back to wherever.

I guess that just wasn't my experience.

You're not that type.

No.

Also, there's no time. Were you witnessed it?

I witnessed it.

A lot of those actors get big old trouble up there. Were you witnessing this at all? I did. You could see that that was happening.

Totally. That's why I'm grateful for having gone to NYU because I got to be a dumb young adult living in the city by myself I went through that phase of growth then. So by the time I booked a job, I was ready.

Yeah, because, Monica, there's these legendary stories. What's the hotel everyone stays at? The London or something? The Slutton.

It's called the Slutton. There you go. But people call it The Slutton.

Yes, it's a fucking orgy of young actors. Everyone's bed-hopping.

I don't think it's as hot as it used to be. It used to be such a vibe, but I don't think it's-They should have had an in-house clinic in the lobby where you could go down and grab your penicillin shot, go to work, come back, fuck it all up again that next night.

But did you live in a hotel?

No, just for the pilot. Then we all got places.

But some people stay at the Slutton for a while because it's good living if that's your vibe.

Yeah, there is a residence side of it. Not residence, but more long term stays. Oh, boy.

Also when it gets too dark, you've done too much carnage, and you just move rooms. It's like a little reset. It really lends itself to it.

Going to a different zone.

I got to get on another floor of this hotel. I can't possibly get off on the eighth floor ever again with what I did in the elevator last night.

Oh, my God.

But also, it's not like Vancouver is the rowdiest city either. I mean, I guess it's what you make it.

It's an enormously active drug world.

Yes, that's very true.

Gabor Maté's work was there. They got a lot of heroine epidemic style stuff. It's true. Did you end up owning a place there ever?

No, because I just couldn't ever feel 100% that our show is going to get renewed. No matter how successful I'm like, Anything could happen.

Well, I know this is your disposition. I've written down some quotes. I relate to you in this way, and I bet it's being divorced and constantly moving. Every time something's good, the shoe is going to drop, the shoe is going to drop. Even when things are good, it's like, did I peak? Is it over? That's probably in the mix because, of course, on the outside, it's preposterous that you didn't think that show was going to get. It was the number one show on CW for seven years. I know, but- It's like the people on Friends worry they're not going to get picked up next year.

But it's just because network television was such a weird... It didn't feel like there was much longevity in that.

Yeah, it was a very unstable period.

It was literally during the transition of network television going down and streaming going up. So you just never know with these things. But you're right, I'm very cautious when it comes to those kinds of decisions.

Do you hoard your money?

Not really. I don't mind investing, but I'm definitely on the conservative side of investing. I trust my dad a lot.

Do you drive a flashy car?

No. And I don't have a flashy home. I'm not a flashy person. I like to act like I have less.

That's the move.

Not act in a fake way. I mean, I like to live my life to the most that I'm comfortable, but not exceeding that.

For me, the elevation in comfort, does does not offset the loss of safety. I can't enjoy it unless I know I can own it several times over.

That's what it is, is that I get afraid that if I get used to too nice of a lifestyle, then I'll have to upkeep that lifestyle forever because to lose it It would be devastating. Yes.

Monica will tell you, so our old house is like a thousand feet that way. I actually got great pride out of the fact that I do think most people that came to visit us were like, I guess I expected a bit more. I think there's a phase where it's like, you want a really nice thing to impress people. And then this other weird thing happened to me. I was like, I was actually getting tremendous pride out of people coming over and being very disappointed in our house.

I thought that was a gangster. I definitely feel that when people come to my house.

I think there's a way to own that. And I actually started feeling cool about it.

At the time, when I bought my first home, I was like, I'm 26. What business do I have having some nice ass home? I'm like, I want to be in my 20s and just have a home that's right for me.

Well, I had this really weird dissonance between... I'll remember I bought that house while I was still with my ex-girlfriend, Bri, and we went and slept there one night. The remodel was about to start, so there was no furnace. It was cold. There was no beds. We brought sleeping bags, and we were laying in front of the fireplace. I was looking around, and I was like, I didn't do enough. In my mind, manual labor. Where I'm from and what I know about people at whatever age, I'm like, I can't own this because I didn't really do enough work. I couldn't accept that it was mine.

It was too boujee.

Yeah, I just was like, I didn't kill myself for- But what is that?

It's not? That house is not pretty cheap at all.

It's a great house.

It's a beautiful house.

But it's a 3,000-square-foot ranch on Los Feliz Boulevard. It's like you're not over one.

But that's your hang up about-Being fancy. Being fancy and what Michigan work is versus artsy work or whatever. This ridiculous work, yeah. But you definitely worked. It was a long time.

Yes and no, Monica.

I had been here- Yes and no, Monica.

I had been here a while, but really, I bought the house in 2005 or 2006, and I got punked in 2003. So really, I went from a one bedroom apartment for a decade in Santa Monica to owning a pretty damn nice house within two years of working. I was like, this can't be real.

It overwhelms me. It's overwhelming. I honestly don't want to live in a big, big fancy house. Yeah, that's scary. Because I just feel like it's too much to think about.

I have thought about this moment a few times. So I bought it in 2020. I told you that when you first got here, we did our episode first.

Yeah, the first part of this episode.

And I'm going to move in in five, and it's going to be gorgeous. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. It's a Nikki Kehoe. Nikki Kehoe is my designer. It's crazy.

It'll take your breath away when it's done.

It will, but I've already prepped myself. I know what's going to happen that first night.

Because do you think you'll be sitting there with that same feeling like, this can't really be mine?

I'm just going to have a bunch of friends over the first day. It'll be so fun. Everyone's going to leave, and then it'll just be little me in this home. The little miles. This home with all this pretty stuff in it, and it's perfect, and I'm going to die. I'm going to be so sad.

I get it.

I'm trying to decide how to not make that happen, but I think it just will. And I'll have to see. But why sad?

What will lead to the sadness?

The thing we talk about on this show every day, which is like, now what? Like, I did, I did it. Here we are.

I have the perfect thing. But honestly, there will be a ton of problems.

I know, I know, I know.

That's the thing.

You'll be kept quite busy.

I know.

Even with a brand new house.

Even brand new houses, just shit goes wrong all the time. There will always be something to work on. It's never finished. It's never finished. You're right.

Do you feel... Well, I think it's challenging for a lot of young people to come into a very successful show and share recognition.

And share recognition?

Everyone at Riverdale all comes up.

There's going to be a magazine cover. Who's standing where? And everyone's new and they care a lot as they should. I have a lot of sympathy for navigating that as a young person. Totally. And I think there's been a lot of shows where the shit hit the fan or it was wild. But it would appear at least that you and Lily and... Who's the redhead?

Madalene.

Because you guys have a shared TikTok account. We do. Say the name of it.

It's really cute. Blonde, brunette, redhead.

That's so So cute. Isn't that great? I want to hang... I'm like, Can't I come down like a ding? I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go to the girls night where you guys make pasta and drink wine.

That one came up so it was like all of us in a COVID house. Not COVID house. We rented a house to quarantine in together our season during COVID. So we all had to quarantine for two weeks and we were like, Why not do it together? And while we were there, week one, we were like, Should we start a TikTok account? And then we just started making... It was like such a on the win thing.

But I feel like this really went well for you. You love those girls, right?

I love them.

Oh, my Lily was talking so favorably. They're best friends.

Yeah. They're like family to me. They're like sisters. I got to call them over. I just saw them last week, and I was with KJ last night. I still see a lot of them.

Does this remind you when you and I first became friends, and I was obsessed with the fact that you were young in Hollywood. And I'd always be like, Oh, my God, you're going to have so much fun in Hollywood. What are you doing?

I was like, What do you mean? What do you even mean? Because you're trying to suck the youth out.

Yeah. I want to drink your adrenaline Chrome. Is that cool if I come over and have some of your Adrenal Crom?

Absolutely. I'm sure you could do that here in LA.

Just think about it. If you guys are ever bored and you want me to swing by, I'd love to.

Participate? Yes. I would love that.

Yeah, I can make fun of myself, I think.

You don't want to be on TikTok.

Oh, my God. I'm not on TikTok person, but I will. If you're inviting me, I would love to. I could use a little bump, I think, on the social media front. How many followers does that account have?

I don't know now. I think- You know. No, I actually don't know. Okay, but it's all part. Because it changes. Thirteen mil. I can check right now. Yeah. I can check right now. We need to get on the TikTok.

I know. Actually, yeah. We do need to get on that.

Can we come for a month to show on your TikTok? Absolutely. Can you add Dirty Gray and Black?

Well, Camilla has 25 million followers on Instagram.

That's incredible. 25 million and descending. No.

I swear. Here we go. She's going to drop. Are you able to monetize that pretty good?

Yeah, I'd say so.

Yeah, you should.

It's so cool.

12.7 is the following.

Wow.

12.7. I rounded it up a bit.

Maybe when you guys hit 13, I come to celebrate. We do a little thing.

It is so fun that you guys all get I know what you mean. It could go so many ways. I'm sure you were pitted against each other at some point.

What helps a lot, I think there are other shows that just prove my theory, but we're all so different. We don't look like each other. We're not going up for the same roles. That is a blessing. I just think that helps separate it.

Yeah, when you have three blondes on a show, dangerous.

Which one's the blonde that's going to take off?

They're all corns.

Sarah Corn.

That mentality exists no matter what. I think it's just natural because you're all coming up at at the same time. And I don't think competition is the right word because that sounds like I don't want my co-stars to thrive, which I do. I think it's more you go, Oh, they did this? Oh, why don't I have that?

That's the problem. You constantly have something that's relative to your own performance right in front of your face. It's also the same stress of dating a fellow actor. It's like you could be in a cold phase and getting scared, and this person's turning everything down, and they turn down the meeting for the movie you're trying to get a meeting for. Exactly. And of Of course, you want your partner to win, but you can become hyper aware of how floundering you are.

How can you not reflect it back on yourself and be like, Wait, but I haven't done that yet. Why haven't I done that yet? It's just a natural part of being in the business.

Yeah, like if one of the cast members had hosted Serient Live, I'd be like, Oh, wow, that's a big thing.

Yeah, exactly.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. I'm enormously curious. You dated a dude on the show for a year, and then you guys were broken up for four more years on the show.

We dated for a year and then broke up for about a year and then got back together for about a year.

It's more exciting than that.

It's in print. Or the second time, it was seven months. It didn't last that long.

I can't imagine the merry-go-round I'd be on if I worked with a co-star I had broken up with. I imagine myself breaking up with them and being like, I am so fucking done with them. And then three weeks later at work.

Well, it's because it was COVID. That was a big catalyst. It's because we broke up and then COVID happened. And then the show was down for a long time. So there was that big separation. And then when we came back to COVID, we were both in other relationships. But then naturally, the two of us got out of our own relationships not knowing the other did.

And you're lonely and overworked in Canada.

And we're in lockdown. We can't leave Vancouver.

You're the only option. Yeah.

And it's like, maybe second time's a charm. Maybe this time it'll be different.

Is it hard, though, when you finally break up to work together?

I think in the beginning, yes.

We had Kaylee Cuoco on, and she talked about this because she dated someone. Jim?

I didn't know that. No.

She's not her sister who likes nerds.

Johnny Galecki. Yeah, that makes sense. Johnny Korn.

She dated him and then also- Had to keep working. Had to keep working, but she had positive things.

Well, some people are good at breakups and some are not. I think I'm quite good at it.

Me, too. I think I am, too. That's good. Okay, that helps. I'm good at keeping things professional. I mean, obviously, right when it happened, it's hard and it's emotional.

Do you see them laughing in a group?

You're not even hurting. It's the worst, yeah. It's so rude. But I think it's hard because the timing of the show, it was jokes because it was like, anytime we started to hook up off set and knew that something was brewing, our characters would start dating. But they didn't know. No one knew. The writers just would naturally make it happen.

Did you guys ever have to date post-breakup on the show?

Yeah, so that's the second time. Oh my God.

You guys would be making out as breakups? Yeah. Oh, my God.

That would be so horny. Right after. Oh, God. Right after.

This is torture.

That's awful. I don't know how you ever broke up.

Was it mutual, breaking up, or did someone really break up with the other? Because that makes it so much worse.

It was mutual. It ended very peacefully and wish you all the best.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you in a minute.

But it still hurts. We'll take our shirts off next week together and make out for an hour.

Yeah, it still hurts, no matter what. I think after that, there was another break between seasons. And when we came back for the last season, there was definitely an air of Zen. We're past it. We work together a lot as well, but not in a romantic capacity. Honestly, can't even remember what this last season was. I don't think we... Yeah, there was no character dating.

There's a Riverdale hyperfan screaming at her dash right now. How could you not remember kissing him on the boat?

Episode 13.

I'm almost positive there wasn't anything. Then it went super smoothly last season. I think The whole last season felt very different in that way. We all really came together in the last season. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, because it's like, this is the last time we're all going to be together in this room. Who knows when something like this will happen again?

Okay, well, somehow in the middle of the middle of a seven-year run, seven times 22, how many episodes? You guys do 158 or something?

I can't even do that math right now.

Seven times 22. 140 plus 17. 14. 154. 137. No. They took breaks. There must have been some years without 22.

I stand by the math. Oh, yeah. The first year was 13.

Oh, there it is.

That messed up our math. That was not our fault.

It was not your fault. You guys are really good at math. Mainly Dax.

But in the middle of all that, you squoze in The New Romantic, Palm Springs, Dangerous Lies.

Every movie I've done was squozed in.

In those two month gaps? Jeez.

And sometimes it was two in the same break. But it was a choice. I chose that.

Are you prepared for some downtime? You got to be mentally prepared.

I have taken a lot of downtime, I feel.

Okay. I feel like your definition of downtime in ours is probably much different.

No, I always say I'm determined this year to check myself in somewhere, go to a mental health retreat, be off the grid for a moment. I am dying to do that. I haven't found the time to do it.

That's the- That's the catch-20-2.

But it's on- That's 2022. Yeah, it's on the 2024 bucket list. I like that.

You need to do that.

Okay, so you have upgraded, which you made, presumably in the summer of '23.

That was two years ago. See, because the strike last year just really fucked me. Time just feels different. But no, it was two years ago. It was 2021. 2022, sorry.

2022. 2022, that makes sense because in strike in 2023, probably why you couldn't.

Yeah, it was the year before Strike. I did it right before we filmed our last season.

A, this movie screams Devil Wears Prada. I'm out of the loop on these things, but from my memory, this is very Devil Wears Prada.

It is. I hate making that comparison because I feel like any time you compare your movie to a really iconic movie that's beloved by millions, you're bound to get hate for it because you're like, How do you compare it? I wouldn't want to say that, but there are similarities. You're saying thematically. Thematically, Very similar, but in the art world.

Marissa Thomey, she is very much the Anna Wintour character. She works at an auction house. She's not the owner, but she's second command. You are brand new on the job. You're trying to make a name for yourself. Everyone's bitchy. Everyone's mean. She's very short, be the easiest way to say it. Very short? Short with people when she talks. I don't want to outright call her- She's really short.

We thought you meant heightwise.

I think she's average size.

I was like, What's wrong with being short? I'm fast, too. What's up?

I like short girls, so nothing.

That's your type.

That is my type. There we go.

We got around to it.

I think it's pretty obvious on the track record. Yeah, so you get invited to join her on this Very important trip to London, and you're the lowest person. And then when you get to the airport, these bitchy bitches. Bitchy bitches. They tell you you're not even on this flight. You're flying out in three hours. You came here to check the bags.

Yeah, to move things, to hold things.

And then the woman behind the counter has observed all this, and she's like, I only deal with assholes a couple of times a day, and it seems like you were stuck with assholes. I'm going to upgrade you to first class.

And then your mom was there.

And then I meet Giselle Mendez.

If ever there was a time to get your mom as a stunt I know.

That would have been perfect.

She's using all the amenities. She gets a massage. She's luxuriating.

And classic rom-com fashion. Me cute. Slams into...

Spills her drink all over her, bloody Mary, all over the jeans of... Will. He's a Brit. Is he a Brit in real life?

He is a Brit in real life.

Archie Renault. Bumps into him. He's charming. And of course, they're sitting next to each other on the airplane.

And conversation strikes. Of course. Two cute people, flurning it up in First Class.

They're too hot not to like each other. It would be impossible. Who could resist? But then you get there, and of course, she takes on this fake identity as someone who flies First Class, and she starts pretending she's her boss.

She belongs there.

Yeah, it's a little bit talented Mr.

Ripley. A little bit pretty woman.

And then he asks her why she's going to London, and she's like, Oh, they called in the director of the New York office to save the day. And he assumes that I'm the director of the New York office, and I just go with it. Sure. Because I'm like, Why not? We're on a plane. I can lie to you on a plane. That's That's right. I'm never going to see you again.

Vancouver, the Slutton. Cut, two. Yes. And then you meet the mom, and the mom is very, very inviting. She wants your number. They're loaded.

She's trying to set it up. She's an art collector, and she's coincidentally selling her art with not Sotheby's. I like to say Sotheby's, but Irwin's, which is our Sotheby's. Then she's like, You work there? How crazy. You're the director? You should be in charge of my auction. Oh, shit. Then I have to go along with this double life where I'm an intern for the actual director and then also pretending to be the director.

And falling in love with Renault.

It's right up your alley. I love a rom-com. I didn't watch it because we do have a policy. We have a policy. I don't try to watch the thing because sometimes if I do, then it gets very esoteric, and I can't see what an audience who hasn't seen it should not know.

It just happened to us this week.

It did, because I did watch Fargo, and now I'm all- When we interviewed Noah Hawley, she hadn't.

So she had a good idea of what he and I were geeking out too much. And then for the next two people, she had seen it. Now we don't know.

So it's like a problem. Yeah, I see. It's all good. But I'm really excited.

You would love it.

I know.

I love a rom-com so much.

I like it. I'm not just saying this because I'm biased and I was in it, and obviously, I'm going to promote my movie. But genuinely, I just think it feels more elevated than most rom-coms. I don't always watch rom-coms, especially modern rom-coms. I think it's really hard to achieve these days. You're right. With the same magic that they used to have. 100%.

What is your explanation of that?

I think, I shouldn't say this because technically I didn't have this with Archie, but they used to chemistry test people more. I feel like they used to actually make sure that their two lead actors had real chemistry. I just don't think they're doing it like that anymore. They're doing it over Zoom.

Right. They're plucking two people with a certain social media footprint.

Thank God I had chemistry with Archie, but we didn't get to test that out. We got lucky. But oftentimes these days, they're just offering one actor this role and another actor this role. I'm like, all right, you meet a few days before you start filming. That's how it was for me and Rudy on Musica on the other projects. Because you met there? Yeah, that's how we met.

Oh, really? Yeah. Her boyfriend wrote and directed it. Yeah.

And stars in it. He plays himself. It's autobiographical.

And you had not learned your lesson on Riverdale, and you're like, yes, this is a great idea.

I really thought I had.

Let's off the ante.

But I'm like, No, this is different because it's a movie.

Let's bang the writer and the director and the star. I'm like, It's a movie.

If it doesn't work out.

Temporary.

Yeah. Oh, man. But yeah, same thing. We didn't have a chemistry read, but we did meet several times on Zoom, and I could tell that there was chemistry there. But it's literally you meet and then you start filming. And I think back in the day, they placed more importance on that.

That's a really good explanation. I have a sadder one because I love rom-coms, so I hate this. I don't think we can make rom-coms in the same way because now when you rewatch, they're problematic. It's often- Stalkery. Exactly. There's like, stalkery stuff, or women are often chasing men. It doesn't hold up conceptually.

No, it That's true. One of my favorites is he's just not that into you. When I look back on it, I'm like, it's just a series of guys being like, look, this guy's just not interested in you. Get over it. We're men.

Now we can't unsee it. If you make it, everyone will be like, what?

They had an excuse. You don't have an excuse.

You're fucking the most quintessential, cinematic moment to say anything. He's holding a jam box. She won't talk to him, but he's outside of her house playing In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. And yeah, he picked the perfect song. But she I just said no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, it's true.

I feel terrible for the modern generation.

We're better off. They just need good banter and good chemistry and genuinely funny writing, not rom-com funny writing. Exactly.

It can happen. It just requires a lot more of the writer.

Yeah. I was also an ERP on Upgraded, so I helped develop the script, and it's so different from where it started. I mean, it had such good structure, but I think the dialog was missing a lot of good quippy banter, and it be banter. It didn't feel like the way people flirt, especially nowadays. So me and my producing partner brought on her brother and his writing partner. These two guys you would never think would write a rom-com and don't write rom-coms. We're like, make this funny. Make it feel like actually comedic. And I think it needed a different lens. So it didn't just fall into that same mold of rom-com that we see today.

Here's the problem, though. So we all now know negging. Negging? Do you know negging? What's Negging?

Under 30s don't know negging.

This douchey guy wrote a book about how to fuck girls. It had a classier title than that, but marginally classier. In his strategy is like, you insult a pretty girl and make her insecure, and then she'll like you. It's vomitous, right? And that's called negging. And so it's vomitous and we don't like it. But at the same time, negging is very fun when both people like each other. When you actually are in the real world, that is actually quite fun when it's not sadistic. So you're also balancing these two things where it's like, a lot of these things are bad in some way, and yet they're also quite fine and people enjoy them and both people are consensual. You know what I'm saying?

No, I hear what you're saying. It's playful. It's teasing each other.

What's the line between negging and teasing?

There is a line because negging is insulting to make that person feel insecure.

It's bad. It's beneath them or something. Exactly.

I have not met Liv Tyler. I'm doing a movie with Liv Tyler. I also was in love with her as a kid, and we haven't met. I pull into a parking spot for our first rehearsal, and I'm driving a 1966 AC Cobra. It's the loudest, most obnoxious, coolest car ever made. And I pull up. It's got sidepads. I park. I'm feeling quite cool. And she goes, Don't get enough attention as an actor, huh? And I was like, Oh, damn.

I love that.

That comes in quick.

I love that, too. But it's great.

She's immediately making fun of me.

I like when people call me out on my shit. Yes.

In a way, that's negging, I guess. You're like, Shit.

But by the way, in Brazilian culture, standard. That's how people connect.

That's why Anna is my favorite person to talk to. I can say anything.

We're always poking at each other and teasing each other. Yes.

What do you think about that, Monica?

I'm going to say something again you won't like. It's okay because she did it. If you did it, it wouldn't have felt the same. It wouldn't have been able to be like, Why are you talking to her like that? That's very true.

That's the power.

We know this.

What if he said it? It's all about tone, too, right? Of course. If you have a crush on someone and they're saying it in a playful way, you're like, oh, my God, stop, shut up. I think it could work. A hundred %.

It's nuanced.

We're trapped in this transitional phase where it's like, we just need to more clearly articulate what's going on. Because yes, teasing we like. Having read a book of how to fuck hot chips by shitting on them is like, oh, that's rough. Because I want that in a rom-com.

I want that. Playful, teasing. Yes, of course. It works. It does work, and it should. If you feel everyone's equals, then it doesn't matter. That's a big part of it. We figured it out.

Yeah. That's a gift we just gave everyone.

That's the key. I feel like we try to do a lot of that, teasing and the dialog between the characters.

That's what made me think of it. I was aware of, well, some of this is nagging on his part. Totally.

Like, making fun of her being American. There are little things like that where they're making fun of each other's- Which is really how you do flirt. Yeah.

Or how I do.

Because there's something about it that's like, I see you. Yeah. You feel seen when someone makes fun of you for something, you're like, oh, you're paying attention. Exactly. I feel special.

That's really true.

What's your favorite rom-com?

I love The Breakup.

Oh, Jen-An and Vince Vaunt.

That's a quality movie. I can't even call that a rom-com.

Is it not?

It's like an inverted rom-com.

Okay. I love Along King Poly. Oh, I loved that movie. I guess I just love... I love Jen-Anne's Den, honestly.

Jen-anne. This is so embarrassing. I sent her a Desperado DM. Really? Yesterday.

To get her on the show?

Yes.

She'll do it, no?

No, She won't do it. She won't do it. I mean, I'm not ruling her out, but I was just like...

I love Jen-Anne. And How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is also a great one. That's a classic. Everyone loved that one.

Hard not to love that one. I love Andrew Schultz so much. The best. I'm so delighted he's in your movie. And then because I discovered him on Instagram. I discovered. I personally didn't know about him. I found him on Instagram. I follow him. I think every single clip is hysterical. I've been DMing him, and now I've got this friendship brewing. There's always this great question when you see a stand-up act, are they going to be terrible or great? And he's phenomenal.

He's so good. No, he makes that role. He adds another layer of comedy to our movie that just gives it more flavor.

Yeah, I'm curious how much was on the page and how much was he ripping?

A lot of it was on the page, but he would add his own- Spin. Yeah. I don't want to misspeak. I'm pretty sure the Rocky Balboa stuff was him.

He gives you a speech and it's from Rocky.

Yeah, but it's the way he says things that was not on the page. I wish there was more of him in the movie, honestly.

I No. It's a really funny dynamic. She's living with her sister and her sister's husband, who is Schultz. They're in an apartment that's... They've been here in three.

It's like a tiny New York apartment.

The grandma lived and died there, and the mom did. It's rent control. It's a one bedroom. He wants a dog really bad. He wants her to join the Navy. He's trying to get her to join the Navy.

And move back to Florida.

He really wants her to move to Florida and join the Navy.

I love that opening scene so much.

Oh, he's so good. Yeah. I'm delighted. Okay, let's do a couple of minutes on Musica because that's also coming out this year. Yes. And as we just learned, your boyfriend, Mancuso?

Rudy Mancuso.

Manguzo. Manguzo. Rudy Manguzo.

Oh, yeah, that's the Italian part.

Ah, Manguzo. Here we go. The theme. Am I understanding this correctly? Because this might interest you and Rudy, Mankuzo. Mankuzo. That Mary Steembergen, I don't remember the exact event that led to this, but there was some medical thing where when she was post that, she had never been interested in music, never pursued it. And she came out of this situation and she hears music nonstop in her head. And she ended up starting a career, and I'm guessing her 50s. She writes songs in Nashville. She's had many songs written. Do you know this about Mary?

I had no idea. Are you saying she has synesthesia?

Is that what it's called? Yeah. It is about that actual condition.

Yeah. A lot of it has to do with synesthesia because Rudy has synesthesia. He does.

Explain synesthesia to us.

It's like a tripping up of sensory wires. So there's different forms of it. His is called Rhythmic Association. So his is more about organizing daily diegetic sound into rhythm, almost in a compulsive way. But then there are people that are synesthetic, like Billy Eilish. I know John Mayer is sinesthetic. Oh, really? Yeah, there are a ton of musicians that are synesthetic, and a lot of them can hear a sound and see a color. Yeah, I've heard that. Things like that. It's just your sensory wire is getting tripped up.

You hear a color.

And you see a sound.

Yeah, or you can taste Tuesday. Oh, I'm dying to taste Tuesday. I like to describe it sometimes as like... Sometimes if you say the word lime or lemon or you think of it, you can start to feel your jaw. There's certain words-Reactive the tardness. And sounds that have associations with other senses, so they're connected.

Or plethora, you get queezy immediately. Oh, you do? You do? Plethora. Let's unpack that, Dax.

You just don't like that word.

Carrie and I were determined in high school that the real definition of plethora should be wet fart. Oh. Right? Like, Oh, my God. I think I plethoraed. It's so gross. The word is so gross.

You think it's a sharp?

Plethora. I guess a sharp, but even worse.

Plethora sounds like it would be near the uterus to me.

Yeah, like placenta. Part of the reproductive system.

Placenta, plethora.

Plethora. I bet the fart thing is because it sounds very breathy. Plethora. It's a plethora. It's a plethora.

It's a purvy word, plethora. I could make her gag by saying plethora.

Oh, wow.

Oh, fuck. Is someone plethora?

I think that was one of the the first words that I thought was a big vocabulary word.

I think a lot of people thought that.

So I used it a lot. In essays? Yes. Oh, that was such an essay word. Yes.

It's embarrassing. The spelling's gross, too. I don't like how it looks.

Oh, wow.

A lot of people have this with moist.

I don't mind moist.

I don't either. And I've made it even worse and grosser. I say moist. Moist? Just to really push into what I think people hate about it. I think it's the moïs part of moïs that they hate. So I just say, Well, this is very moïs.

Moïs, yeah.

I think I have synesthesia. Is that what it's called? Yeah.

I have a weird thing where- You get horny when boys puke. Is that a thing? No. Stop.

She's been so honest. You won't wear that.

I'm going to tell her a different thing about me, which is when I was in school, I did get a weird, tingly feeling. Not sexual, I don't think.

I'll be the judge of that.

When a teacher would say a color, if They said, get your blue folder. I really enjoyed when they would say the color. It did something weird to my body. Sensory.

Interesting.

Then I would ask my friends, do you look happy?

Did anyone else get PQs when he says orange?

They're all looking at you. Orange was one.

I just liked that. It's mainly a teacher's.

When you're done with your test, I brought a bag of oranges. If he was referring to the fruit, would that have messed it up or you still enjoyed it? No, color. Color. Okay. Here's a gross word about color. This is as bad as plethora. Puce.

What's puce? A color. Puce is a color. That's not a color.

Puce. Puce. It's an onomatopia.

It looks like it sounds. It's like a greenish, right?

How do you spell it?

Puce. Is that one plethora? P-u-c-e.

Puce.

I think it's like a green. Pink. Oh, it's a pink?

It means it's flea color.

It just gets worse.

Puke color.

Puce. Puce.

Oh, it's pretty. It's very pretty.

Oh, my God. It is gorgeous. It thinks it's better than you. You know, like pience.

You met my friend Camilla? She's pius. She's pius. No, she'd have her plethora. I'm thinking of someone else. I'm thinking of Camila Cabello.

She would never plot the rest.

Do you know Camila Cabello?

I've met her. I don't know her well.

Is that the Bayna era existence?

John Mayer made a little joke of a song once where he just sang my name and Camila Cabello's name and Sean Mendez's name back to back.

Oh, that's wow. I bet some people think- It was really funny. You are Camila Cabello and that you've married Sean Mendez.

Yeah, they definitely think that, especially early days. Now, not so much, but I get tagged in things of Camila Cabello all the time.

Oh, my God. That's what a luxury. I don't get tagged in anything. I'd love to be on your TikTok, though. You guys hit 13.

Come on over.

Back to Musica. So he has Synestasia. Yeah, Synestasia. I love learning that. Synesthesia. Synesthesia. Monika has seizures.

Maybe they're connected somehow.

Yeah, maybe the colors.

Don't say that again. Stop talking about that. Synesthesia. Okay.

So he has written and directed this. He actually has it. He's enormously talented. Very. He has an enormous YouTube following. He has an enormous everything. He directs a ton of commercials. He's a baller.

I'm really excited for him. This is his first film. I know that being a filmmaker has been his dream since he was 11 years old in Newark, New Jersey. His route to get there was Vine and then YouTube.

He's a hustler. That's what I like. He's a hustler. Hustlers are sexy.

This just feels so earned for him and this journey that he's been on. I think the internet personality world is very much judged. I think people look down on it, but when you see the stuff that he's done, he's so brilliant. It's just the beginning of his career.

I had a revolution on this because, yeah, initially, I was like, That person's a YouTube star. Of course, I had to stick up my ass about it.

But by the way, so did I.

Okay, good. That's comforting. It is because you're young. I choked it up to that I'm old like your mom. But I started thinking about it. I was like, When I came here, I didn't have an agent as we talked about. My favorite part of being at the Grouellings is I got to make video shorts, and I couldn't get my foot in the door. And I had so much passion and energy to create. And if I had had an outlet, I'm like, why am I hung up on this? It's been democratized. Nothing stands in your way. And if you pop in the sea of 100 million fucking contributors, what an accomplishment.

He always talks about how he heard what was. He's like, wow, telling a story in six seconds? That's fascinating. He was inspired and challenged and excited by it. And that's what got him into it. And what I find so interesting is I had that judgment in the beginning of, okay, who wants me to be in their movie? Who is this guy? He did what? I don't know. I mean, I'll meet with him. He's Brazilian. I definitely want to meet another Brazilian in the industry, but I'm probably going to pass. And that's my own insecurity because I'm coming from a teen show. I got to be so careful about who I work with and what I do, and I don't want to be judged. Then I met him. Complete 180. In the first five minutes of us meeting, I was like, I'm doing this.

Well, yes, if someone succeeds in any category or silo, what you have to acknowledge is they have something clearly, whether it was on a network show or a streaming show or a movie or YouTube or Instagram. They have a charisma clearly.

It's also not like he was a vlogger. Not that I judge that either, but he was making skits and telling stories. He was a creator. And who is anyone to judge the medium that you're creating in? If you're doing it successfully, successfully, and people are enjoying it?

When you started dating, did you have a hiccup of like, I'm going to have to tell people he's good?

No. Because also when I started working with him, I mean, it's so hot when you see someone, he's so good at directing. I'm like, this is your first time doing this, but it's not technically, right? I'm like, you've been creating for a decade.

Oh, he's edited for a decade?

Yeah. He edits all his own stuff. He's so tuned in to what he wants that watching him lead an Amazon movie with a decent budget it and know exactly what he wants and hold his own and not feel like a first-time filmmaker, because I've worked with a ton, and they're not like that. Well, he's not a first-time filmmaker.

He's a first-time this-length filmmaker. Okay, so Upgraded comes out February ninth. Valentine's Day, ding, ding, ding. Also our six year anniversary.

Yes. Valentine's Day is your six year anniversary.

We came out on Valentine's Day six years ago.

That's amazing.

When does Musica come out?

I don't know if there's an exact date on it yet. Tbd. I think it's April.

Well, this spring starts sniffing around April fourth.

April fourth. It was announced.

I thought so. Scheduled to be released. But I wasn't sure if that was official or not, or if that's just the talk of the town.

Right. Also, April showers bring May flowers.

They do bring May flowers.

Will you look and see if they bring May flowers?

Yeah, Rob, does it say whether or not April showers They do. They do. They do.

They do. They do. They do. Are you guys going to fact check that? Yeah.

That's a piece for a million.

That candle is puce.

Is it really? The color. It is. That's exactly the color. That A24 candle? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

This has been a blast. We're two for two for Riverdale cast members because I really liked Lily a lot, too.

Lily's the best. She's so real. I admire her so much for that.

Ohio? Yeah. It was a while ago.

It was. I didn't realize how long ago that was.

Yeah, time is a flying.

She doesn't give a fuck. She'll say what she thinks and what she feels. She's so honest. I need to learn how to be like that more. I take that from her.

It's funny you think you're going to pay some big price for it, and you don't. That's really true. Yeah. Well, I really enjoyed this. I hope you had as much fun as-I really enjoyed it.

I did. This was so easy.

Okay, wonderful.

I don't feel like I've said anything I regret. Not yet, at least.

Well, that's because you refused to say the thing we said we'd cut out, and I'm furious. But upgraded, February ninth. Musica TBD.

April fourth.

When those showers will come, Start looking for them. May flowers in this movie. All right. Love you.

Bye.

Stick around for the fact check. Because they're human, they make lots of mistakes. Oh, Should we start with the heartbreaking news?

Sure.

I don't know that I've ever been as felt a punch to my gut as much reading about someone from another country that I don't know anything about dying.

It's awful.

Nivalny. God, is that fucking brutal?

It's so bad.

The sweet family that was in the dark? Yeah. Oh, what a sacrifice. The only thing I could hope is that somehow maybe he'll start his wish, which is like, maybe he'll be the great martyr there that'll challenge that. I mean, he's so not other. He's so us for them. He's not a Ukrainian. He's not from the Crimea, Pennsylvania. He's them. Yeah.

It's really sad. Oh, God.

All right. I shouldn't have started with that. Let's start with something that I've seen in the comments quite a bit, and I actually am nervous we have to address this, which is you called A conference I went to, The Illuminati, but you were joking. I'm not in The Illuminati. I don't think The Illuminati is real. This is a conference of professors, some prime ministers, and a bunch of academics getting together to talk about world events and if they could collectively help. That's what it was. Yes.

It's not real.

It's not real. Yeah. Some people are truly shook by that. Oh, wow. You just brushed it under the rug, Dax. Is Dax a member of the Illuminati?

That's really funny.

Yeah. No, you're not. I'm not.

Do we think it's real?

No, I don't think the Illuminati is real. Do you?

I don't know. I like secret societies, so I'd be okay with it being real.

Well, let's really dig into what we mean by Illuminati. There's think tanks, the RAN group. There's all these really well-funded think tanks that do write policy for DC. That's one thing. There also might be a group of people that think they're the Illuminati. Sure. I don't know when they go to these G20 summits. I don't know if eight of them get together and think that. But the core conspiracy behind the Illuminati, do I think a very select few individuals are running planet Earth? I do not.

Oh, yeah, no. I don't think that either. But I think there could be a group of people who get together and discuss things and work together to get things done. Not like they have absolute power, but- Yeah, I would just call those people lobby groups, right?

If you're a restaurant owner, you join the fucking Better Business Bureau, whatever thing is going to represent you in DC. And so, yeah, there's lots of collectives of like-minded people with like interests or shared interests that definitely combine resources to try to get things pushed along.

I guess it's a ding, ding, ding to what we were just talking about, Russia.

Yes. Now, do I think Russia has one person that pretty much controls everything? I do.

Yeah, unfortunately. But yeah, no, I don't think so. But if there is a fun group of people who are like Rihanna and she's supposed to be in it.

I guess that's the thing, too. If there was an Illuminati, they would not invite me. I have a history of talking too much out loud in public. That's true. Even about my own dirty laundry.

You're a bit of a blabbermouth.

I'm a blabbermouth who has to fill up six hours a week on the radio. They wouldn't invite me.

They wouldn't be smart, too, for that reason. But also you're good at keeping secrets if you need to keep a secret.

If it's life or death, sure. For a friend, but not strangers.

I feel like it would be life or death because that's part of it. They have power. They kill.

Yeah. As you may recall, I read that book, Behold the Pal Horse in high school. And for about 90 days, I was believing in the Illuminati.

You were?

Like, trying to. Okay. It's a very, very fun fantastical fantasy that there's the Knight's Templar, and they've been guarding the shroud of Turin, and they've always been the sergeant of arms of these powerful groups. And then you look at how many presidents were masons. You know all these suspicious corollaries that someone- Skull and Bones. Skull and Bones. Skull and Key. Is there Skull and Bones?

I think it's What's called Skull and Bones.

Wabi Wab? Yeah, that wasn't that with the... Well, are you thinking the movie, The Skull?

No, the movie is The Skulls, but I think the actual- Group? Thing is called Skull.

I think it's The Skull and Key. Skull and Bones, also known as the Order, Order 322 or the Brotherhood of Death. It's an undergraduate senior secret student society at Yale. Skull and Key? Is it Scrolling Key? Key is not ringing a bell for you.

Keyes sounds familiar. I don't remember why, but...

Scolen Key is a men's honor society at University of California, Berkeley.

Oh. That feels like West Coast.

A little weak.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It doesn't have the history. West Coast isn't good at the secret societies. They just bit off of Yale.

Although, how about this? I don't really believe this, but just for fun of making an argument.

Yeah.

They're all over there sniffing each other's farts in this paneled room. No one can get in. Comic book, fucking whatever, fantasy. Oppenheimer is learning how to blow up the planet. Yeah, that's true. So impact, I don't know. We could argue what's happening at Berkeley was much more... Scrolling Key is also- There we go.one. What's that? 1842 at Yale also.

Scroll?

Scrolling Key. It's one of the oldest Yale secret societies, and reportedly the wealthiest. I think that's the one- You're talking about? Yeah, that we're thinking of when we say Skull and Bone.

No, that's also- Yeah, Yale has a big Skull and Bone.

Yeah, definitely has a big skull and bone. But I think the presidents and stuff weren't members of Skull and bone. I think they were members of scroll and key. And there's also Wolf's Head. Those are the three at Yale.

Harvard has four, I think, right?

It says they don't.

What? Yes, they do. They're just so good at keeping you serious. No, because Mike Sure was in one of them, right? What was the one he was in?

No, he was in- Lampoons. Yeah, he was in National Lampoons.

But that has a secret room that no one can go in unless they're a member, right? Oh, probably.

I think he was saying They have social clubs for sure. That's what what's it called was all about. Yeah, Friendship circle.

Social Network. Not secret, though.

If you want social clubs, they've got spree club, owl Club, Porcelain Club, AD Club.

God, these two not so This is not. Social clubs. Oh, no, the owl Club is coming. The Fly Club. Don't worry, we'll call the Ceramics Club. Fox Club. The Hasty Pudding Club.

Hasty Pudding is- Artistry? Yeah, and it's comedy, and they do sketches. Actually, my friend Maddie- Is a A Pudding? I don't think she's a pudding, but- But she's hasty. Yeah, she's definitely Hasty, and she's written a sketch or something for them, and they just had a big anniversary for Hasty Pudding last month or something. Barry Keoghan was honored there. Final Clubs.

Sorry, real quick to interrupt. Do you think it was a typo and it was really Tasty Pudding?

Yeah.

Okay. That makes more... That just makes more sense.

They're called Final clubs. Oh. Remember from Social Network? That was the whole... He couldn't get in.

Yeah, and he was angry, so he created the Social Network.

I feel like the internet's erased it.

You think they're that much better at keeping their secrets?

I'm going to...

Did Maddie go to Harvard? Yeah. Okay, great. I'm sorry. Did Maddie go to school in Boston?

She did. It was funny. Maddie's a girl. Yeah, Maddie's a girl. Okay. Yeah. Maddie is the writer. She wrote the article me for Vanity Fair. Yes. Okay. And she also wrote a beautiful piece about Salica.

Oh, she did? Mm-hmm. We like Salica. Big time.

When we were at the advertising dinner, there was a woman sitting across from us and her husband. They said they went to school in Boston.

In Boston.

And I said, so you went to Harvard? Yeah. And she was like, he did. And she went to Dartmouth. Okay. But it was funny. And he was like, I didn't say it. I wasn't the one that- They can't win. I know. They can't win.

Don't go to Harvard. I mean, if there's anything to learn from this, don't go. They got no secret societies.

They have the secretest secret societies. You should definitely go.

And then you'll never be able to say where you went to school. When people go, did you go to college? They have to say, no, I didn't.

That's a big... That's a cool flex.

It's like, no, I didn't. I didn't go to school. Why?

Why do you have a problem with that?

You got a fucking problem with that?

And then you do the speech that Matt Damon did in Goodwill hunting, where he's schooling that guy.

Then you pull out an LSAT and go, you want to challenge me to the LSAT even though I didn't go to college?

So you just pull out the book, the test, the standardize test. Well, I'm getting some intel I don't know.

Okay, great. While you wait for that intel, I feel like I've cleared up the Illuminati thing.

Okay, I hope people believe you because- Because people are nuts about that.

I don't want people thinking I'm actually- I know, that's crazy.

But also, if people- I don't need to end up on all these lists.

But if people is into the last fact check about Monica's mom and the CIA. They're going to think that you're doing exactly what she did.

I know, which is lie. I know. It's complex.

It's like not being able to say you went to Harvard.

Okay, actually, so these are right. These are right with what Rob read. The Porcillian Club, the Spee, the Fox, the Delphic, the Phoenix, the Fly, and the AD. Those are male? Some are female now, she said. Some are co-ed. Oh, good. And then there are some all female ones as well. Okay, so no Illuminati, which we like. No, too Illuminati.

But I also-Vote with your pocketbook.

If there is an Illuminati, I don't want to take myself out of the running for it. So I'm not here to dismiss it.

So you would want to be a member of the Illuminati? Of course. Okay.

If they'll have me.

Why? Yeah, they'd be a feather in their cap to have you.

Well, that would be nice. But I blab too a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably more than you. You and Liz will get on something and then...

Oh, me and you, me and her, me and David, we all talk.

Right.

We all talk.

David, in particular, he's sniffing around everything. He's a journalist. He gets winded that you're in the Illuminati. Oh. He'll be on that like a dog on a bone. He'll be a web worm about it really quickly.

Yeah, exactly. Fuck. Who do you think... Okay, we shouldn't play this game, but I want to play it.

Okay, great. Let's play it.

If we could make our own Illuminati of 10 members, or let's make it seven.

Oh, that sounds arbitrary. Seven.

Well, because 10 felt like we might take too long.

And we're not counting us two as- Yeah, we're going to remove ourselves.

Seven people who we would be happy with to have some structure that's in charge.

I'm going to throw out a couple of names that I believe you'll agree with. I'll start with who I think you'll cosign up.

Bill Gates.

Yeah. He's the most informed on every single topic in the world.

The reason I know this is a bad game is because people are like, he is. He already is.

Oh, sure. Yeah. I can't help those people.

We can't. Okay, so Bill.

Bill. David Sedaris. Oh, okay. Thousand fucking % we need his point of view to check us and be sarcastic at all times.

For sure. But for rulemaking and stuff?

Yeah. Okay. We need diversity of opinion. I agree. And uber intelligence. And we need to laugh a bit because the world's a funny and tragic place. It is. We need David. Okay. John Batiste. Oh, wow. You're worried I'm chalking a full artist, but don't worry.

You're also just putting your favorite people. Okay.

These are people I think should... These are people whose souls I trust to run the world.

I think John is an angel, and he's dropped down to change us via music. But to be in the- That's a great point.

But I'll make an argument for why he should stay. Okay. He could bring up the best in us by playing piano while we debate these He could take us on spiritual and emotional journeys, and it could turn out that he really 2Xed our output and our clarity by the impact he had on our bodies while we did our thinking and debating.

Okay, so he's going to play for us while we debate.

Well, he is going to respond to the debate he's hearing in the way he knows how. And he'll have a clarity. That is a genius I think he has. For sure. He could hear an emotion that's in the room, and then he has a clarity to transmit that through sound. I agree with that. And then we might all then be able to lock on to that clarity of emotion. Okay. It could help us in the same way that Charles Duhigg, he would tell us which of the three conversations we're actually having.

I see. Okay, I like it.

Okay. He could be really instrumental, pun intended, to...

The outcome.

The outcome.

Okay, I'm back. I'm with you.

Okay, so you give me three, and then we'll maybe hish-hash about the seven. Okay.

I like those three. I'm going to add... Can we have ghosts? No, no, no. Okay. I won't add Taylor, but I want to. But I'm not going to. But I want to.

I know. Because you just want a friend in the group.

No, no, no, no, no. Because she's so... She's the most powerful person in the United States right now. I believe that.

Okay.

But she's busy, and I also don't think she'll be able to commit.

Right.

So I'm going to pick Tina, Faye.

Okay.

I'm adding Tina to the list.

She's in the Sedera's same?

No, she's not there to make us laugh. She's so brilliant, but she's doing more and more... She's not being very vocal, but she has a ton of very smart, interesting opinions. So in our group, she could share what needs to be done and how, but without being forward-facing.

You know why she's a I would pick is she has proven that she can be productive in a shared space with other writers.

That's also true.

You know, some of these folks are going to be hard. Elon Musk has a brilliance, no question. If we need someone who's signing the future. He's the obvious heir apparent, but I don't think he works in a group, right?

But we can't have anyone so rogue. The people we're picking have to be-Cooperative. Yeah, and a little more centered.

Well, that's my point, is I don't think he's a great sharing all these responsibilities. But I do, and this is where we might different, there might be a lot of fights about this. I'm not going to be picking people because I agree with them or politically I'm in line with them. I'm going to try to pick people who actually know an enormous sector of how the world works, and they need to be on it. I get that. Because it's getting Getting real pragmatic. The 10 of us are going to run the world. Someone has to know how to clean sanitation. Finance. Yes, and how banking systems work.

No, no, no, no. I mean, they mainly need to know who to appoint. That, to me, is the job of the President, which is, I guess our job now as the Illuminati, is to know who to pick to head up things. So you personally don't have to have all the knowledge on sanitation. But you have to know who does and who will run it in a way that is in keeping with how we want the world run.

Yeah.

Okay. Because I don't think I want to put any sanitation people in right now. It's limited space.

No, but again, back to Bill. Why I like Bill is he has a complete understanding of the global health situation, what's killing us at the greatest numbers. He's worked with all the experts in that. He knows how to deal with one of the biggest problems, which is clean water and sanitation. Energy is another thing, and he's got that locked down. He understands global warming better than anyone. He's got a big old understanding of most of the columns. He does, yeah.

I guess we should put you all in.

Great, great, great, great. I sign off in a second on that.

But we need some more women.

Okay, we've got two.

We have Tina and me. Yeah, we We need the rest to be women. If we could do... Is Griselda alive?

I don't think she's with us anymore. That would be a good pick, though. Like someone who knows how to fucking get shit done. Like a Martha Stewart.

I think she might be... Yeah, Oprah is a good one. Marty is probably not good because I think she's probably going to be gun-shy after her time in jail.

I'm trying to remember the woman. Her specialty wasn't crows, but she told us a lot about crows because her husband was into crows. Lenora Skanezi? Yes, she was incredible. I found her to be very impressive. Good memory. Lenora Skanezi.

I liked Wu-Yung-An.

That's what you're thinking, right?

Wu-kyung-an.

Oh, she was great. All the hiccups and thinking.

Yeah, that was cool.

That was a good one. All right.

We might need to come back to it.

We've slowed down so much. I think people might be getting a little impatient.

We might need to. Okay, we're not done yet.

We're going to circle back, but we have some we like. We have some contenders. We should send people this letter. Go like, Congratulations. You've been selected to be a member of the 10% Illuminati.

Exactly. If they were worth their salt, their very first order of business would be to kick the three of us out of it. I mean, of course.

It's also very American. We've assembled a very American Illuminati.

That's true. But we don't know a lot. No.

But clearly, we got to get someone from India, someone from China, and someone from Europe. Fine.

Why don't we... This is the American sector.

Does that mean Yvonne has to leave? Ranch. He's a citizen of the world, Rob.

Okay. We'll come back to it. Okay. Okay, so this is for Camilla Mendez.

Oh, so much fun.

So much fun. So how much money did the Modern Family cast make? The adult cast US members by the last season are making $500,000. Per episode.

But to remind people, the big showdown wasn't about the per episode salary. It was they all united and didn't show up to work to get points. And that ended up in court. That actually got litigated, I think. So they all have ownership over that syndication money.

Yeah, which is huge. I thought it was interesting when we were talking about how Americans view family versus other cultures.

The Brazilians.

And just a lot of other cultures. She's Brazilian, but it definitely translates to India. Anna and I have talked a lot about it, too. She's from Venezuela. There's an article about how Americans view family, and this breaks it down into two tenets. One, that Americans are typically pretty individualistic.

Of course. Yeah. Even the notion of boundaries is so individualistic. It is. I have a boundary around me. I'm an individual thing.

And yeah, it affects where families choose to live. Many families will choose a location that provides the best career opportunities, even if this means they must live far away from their extended family.

Yeah, because I love... I think I love my family very high on the scale, and I got the fuck out of there. It wasn't even something I had to debate. Am I breaking anyone's heart by moving 3,000 miles away? Yeah. Didn't even think about it. No, I clearly have an obligation to go pursue this. That's that.

Right. I know. It is so different.

And if they love me as my family, that's exactly what they would want for me.

But it also is... It's ironic Because these other cultures, or I guess I'll just speak for Indian cultures, it's so family-based. But also people leave the country, and then they never, really, barely ever see them again.

Am I wrong? I know this is certainly how it works with a lot of the migrant workforce that comes up from Mexico. They do send a couple solely to send money back to the family. Ultimately, it really is about the family. It's not about them starting a new life in America. In fact, I remember Bre worked with a couple of different guys at this restaurant, and they were sending their money back a ton. And then they just had a number that they were trying to hit. And the second they did, they were all going home. They were going to reunite with their families, and then they would be all set.

That's interesting. Yeah.

There's some crazy story. Do you know this one? I want to say it's about... Oh, fuck. I wish I could remember the name of who the actor was, but there's some crazy story about some famous actress's housekeeper had been with her for like 30 plus years and had built a replica of the actor's house in Mexico. And at a certain I feel like I've heard this, too. Yeah. And then at a certain point, retired, moved there, and then the actress went broke and ended up moving to Mexico to live in the replica of her house. Does this sound familiar?

I think maybe you told me.

Oh, man. I feel like maybe Kim will know this story. I don't know. I'm going to ask. I'm going to ask real-time.

Please.

Okay, let's see. I'm sure he's busy. Hey, I have this weird memory that there was some famous actress who had a housekeeper who lived with her for decades and then had saved all of her money and built a replica of the actress's house in Mexico, then retired and went to that house in Mexico, and then the actress went bankrupt, and then she ended up moving in with the housekeeper in Mexico. Do you know this story and you know who the players are? I feel like you would know it. Okay, we'll see how that goes. Okay. Google doesn't have anything. Okay.

Okay, so yes. So pretty Individualistic. It says, Most Americans will date many people before they choose someone to marry. Furthermore, most Americans will choose the partner that makes them the happiest or the partner that they feel most emotionally and physically connected to. Their choice to marry has little to do with family alliances or even their parents' impression of their chosen partner. Yeah. Okay, let's see. American parents are expected to save money for their own retirement so as not to be a financial burden to their children when their health begins to decline in old age. Many adult children do not have the time to meet all their elderly parents' needs and will sometimes place them in elderly care facilities. The second attribute common to most American families is a concept of the nuclear family. The nuclear family includes a married couple and their children. Most Americans live with their nuclear family and only see their extended family a few times a year. While this is true of most white American families, many African-American and Latino families live with or near their extended families. In these cultures, extended family and community ties tend to be stronger.

It is funny. I think we all just go out and chase all this individual glory, and then I don't know that it results in elevated happiness than being with your family.

I know. Well, yeah. I mean, my brother was living with my parents for so long, and it was just like, he's got to get out of there. He's got to go, for me. I mean, that was my opinion on it. My parents liked it. Of course. And of course, they did.

And they're from a culture where that's not a given that he should be leaving.

Yeah. And now currently, he's not there. You want to move home? Well, I just feel like it's sad for them. Yes, of course. Yeah, you have kids, and then you have to make your whole life about them.

They get up and they walk out at one point.

It's pretty tragic, really. Tragic, really. Yeah. Okay, the NYU admission cost currently is 58,000. And that's tuition. And then other costs, books an on-campus room and board, 23,000. So average cost before aid, $82,000.

Mama.

$82,000. Even average cost after aid is $39,000.

Wait, average cost after eight?

Aid.

Oh, aid is $39,000.

Still so much.

Yeah, how on earth does your average American- He can't. They would have had to squirrel away $320,000 for a four-year degree.

That's why Everyone does- That's criminal. Loans, and then they're paying them back for the rest of their life.

Four hundred grand? Buy a rat house instead and read books.

I know. Well, that's what my parents said. They were like, We're not doing that.

Yeah, good for them.

Yeah.

But a lot of states don't have good in-state tuition, right? I mean, this Georgia thing you got was... That's lucky you lived in a state that had that.

It is. I mean, that was free, but it still what an in-state tuition is always going to be not astronomical. I mean, NYU is a private school. That's why.

Okay.

They're just willy-nilly using New York. Yeah, you can do whatever you want.

Could you do University of Los Angeles, California? Wait, what? Instead of University of California, Los Angeles.

So it would be U-L-A.

Ucla, that's a state distinction. But U-L-A-C- It would be U-L-A-C.

Yeah, it'd be U-L-A-C. And if there's a University of Los Angeles, Michigan, it'd be U-L-A-M. Oh, I love that.

University of Los Angeles, Michigan. I do remember being very confused in the '90s when I started seeing University of Phoenix in California and all over the country. Sure. Yeah. What?

How is this happening? People would say U-Lam.

What's that?

University of Los Angeles, Michigan. Oh, okay. They'd call it You, lamb.

Okay. Yeah, that's cute. It's also what they pledged. They pledged U-Lam.

Yeah, and there are secret societies there.

Is the lambs.

Lambs are gentle.

Yes, extremely. They're not threatening at all.

Oh, should we talk about how... This just reminded me because animals and being gentle. A whiskey bit me.

Oh, yeah, that's a while back.

Yeah, but I hadn't talked about it.

Yeah. Well, I got another whiskey update that we can make a meal out of this. So first say what? Tell everyone about your attack.

Okay. If you're comfortable. Well, I was petting whiskey, and he loved it. And then I stopped and I was talking to you. And then I went back and started petting again, and he flicked. He just jumped up and bit my hand. And it was so startling.

That it scared you.

It really scared me.

Yeah. And hurt your feelings quite bad.

And it did hurt my feelings. And I cried.

Yeah. And then, wait, one more part.

Okay. Yeah. I was like, I hate dogs. And everyone always tries to get you to like dogs. And then you decide to do it, and then they bite you. And that's cruel to do. And then the next day, I was leaving here, and Carly was with Whisky in the Yard, and Whisky comes running up. Excitedly? Yeah. And I looked at him and I said, I'm still mad at you. Right.

Yeah.

And then I felt guilty.

Because he doesn't really have a memory. Yeah.

He didn't know.

They're like humans in that we learn each other's triggers. So his thing is if he's laying down on a bed and you go to touch him, he has that reaction. But I already was. I know, but you had stopped and then he probably entered a tiny bit of a sleep or something. And then when he gets startled like that, that's one of his things, which is very unfortunate. I don't even know why I'm defending him because I'm about to tell you a story where I wanted to absolutely kill him, which was Valentine's Day. Kids bring home box of chocolates. This is an age-old tale. We have dinner. It's fun. It's Valentine's, so I spoiled them. What do you want? Sky's the limit. We ended up getting McDonald's. And Domino's has lava-filled cakes. Do you know this?

Oh, wow. No.

They're insane, as you would expect. So that was the menu. What a party. What a party for everyone. And go upstairs, everyone's happy, Valentine's Day. And then I hear screaming and panic. They go into the bedroom and whiskey has eaten every single chocolate in a huge box of chocolates.

Oh, no.

And now all three gals are really instantly atomic bomb, right? He's going to die. We need hydrogen peroxide. Where's hydrogen peroxide? I'm like, I don't know where hydrogen... Now, Kristin's going to the neighbor's to get a bottle of hydrogen peroxide barefoot. Hold the dog. She's going to die. Oh my God. And then come back and then we got an eye drop her How many eye drops? It's supposed to give two teaspoon. In my mind, I'm like, I don't know what a fucking teaspoon is. I don't know how many droppers are going. So I go downstairs, I get a teaspoon. I don't know. You look at the acronym for these. They can do better between tablespoons and teaspoon. And also, just write it. There's room to write it. Sure. Okay, so now I'm bringing up all these measuring fucking spoons. There is no teaspoon one. There's a quarter teaspoon.

So now I'm doing- For those Four into...

Oh, my God, this is madness. Four into a spoon, and then taking the eye dropper and sucking out and seeing how many sucks I have to get before I've gotten to a T. So I determine we've got to do, I don't know what it was, eight eye droppers of hydrogen peroxide down. So she's holding them. And if you think he was biting you, he is going beserk. He is hard to handle. Biting. She's holding them, and I'm like, Go, go, go. And I'm trying to get this fucking eye dropper of the hydrogen peroxide down his thing. And it's like, I don't know, we get eight. How much got down the throat? Set him in the bathtub, wait to see if he's going to throw up. Doesn't. Then we decide, fuck this. We just poured it in his mouth. What is so cute and funny, and I feel bad for him, he has no idea what this stuff is. He likes it. Of course, he likes it. Once we start pouring it directly into his mouth, like forget the eye dropper, he's like... He's just drinking hydrogen peroxide. So I think it tastes good going down.

But then So now he's drink God knows how much. Certainly more than two tablespoons. But we looked up, can a dog die from drinking too much? Oh my God. So it's like, now you're weighing the chocolate versus the hydrogen peroxide. So anyways, we get a good deal of hydrogen peroxide in the dog, then the dog's taken to the girls bathroom in the tub. And then I sat this part out. That was enough drama for me. I just shut down on my bed. I'm leaving out that the girls got in an incredible fight because who His fault was it. The chocolate on the ground. Now I hear... Once in every 40, 30 fights, I hear F-bombs. That's when I know things are really popping off, and it's usually D-money, let's be honest. So I hear in there like, Is that my fucking fault? By the way, it's just so funny how accurately she always uses it. It never sounds like a kid using it. She's right on with it. So she's in there dropping F-bombs. I'm doing an eye dropper in the dog's mouth, the whole thing. I then just laid down in the bed. I was like, I need to to materialize.

Yeah. Apparently, I did not observe this, but then he let it rip in the bathtub. Great. And there was, according to all of them, an impossible amount of chocolate.

Oh, my God.

Yes. So much chocolate. Probably there would have been an issue.

So he would have died.

You know. Likely. Wow.

How long does it take?

For the throw up?

No. For the death?

Yeah. I don't know. Okay. Generally, when you're in that panic... By the way, this This is not my first rodeo with a dog eating chocolate. I've now been around dogs for 17 years, and they get into chocolate. That's what they do. Right. They love it.

I've heard if they have a little, it's fine.

Okay, great. So here's what I'm like, mostly I've heard people are overreacting to it. And then it really has to be really high, Cocoa Content chocolate. It has to be really dark chocolate and a lot of it. So as everyone's panicking, I, of course, want to...

You're like, it's not that big of a two.

What I want to tell them is like, I slow down, it's probably... Let's just be realistic. Probably wasn't that dark of chocolate. He probably didn't even... But I knew now is not the time. Yeah. We got to do all the stuff. And then I just participated. So I missed the big throw up and everything. And then, truth be told, I just stayed in that bed for the rest of the-That feels fine.

I get that.

It takes 6 to 12 hours.

Oh.

So you got a little bit of time.

But if it happened in the night, that's scary.

Yeah. Then we put him to bed at night, and it is a little bit like saying good night to someone who got a concussion. You are a little bit fingers crossed, who knows what will happen in the middle of the night.

Oh my God.

And then after that night, we just had with him. It was a push for me one way or another, whether he passed peaceful in his sleep or he woke up. I don't know. I think this is a very male thing. It's just like when you have some variable in your house that makes everyone go crazy. I have like such a caveman response, which is like, well, get rid of that variable.

Sure.

This is pandemonium. But you like him. Oh, Monica, I'm trying.

I see you're very sweet with him.

He's got a new routine, which is like, he wants to get on the bed. I'm meditating, he comes back, barks the whole time I'm meditating. I fucking put him on the bed. I'm meditating. He jumps off for God knows what reason. And then four minutes later, and I'm like, oh, my I want to go, let's fucking stay on the bed or stay off the bed. And then half the time, I'm not going to pick him up. So I'm just sitting there meditating while a dog barks as loud as it can, two feet from me. And I'm like, this is madness. This is where I get very self-centered. Why am I in a situation where I can't meditate?

Sure.

That seems crazy. Yeah, I know. I don't know what it used to be. I'd put him on the bed, he'd stay there. That's out the window now. He needs to get down all the time. And it's just, it's madness.

He's probably practicing his jumps.

His quick escape. He's just trying to stay athletic? Yeah.

Well, that's a good spin. It's his time to work out. Yeah.

I think mentally, he hangs on by a threat, if I'm being honest. I know. He's very depressed, I think. He's only got three legs. Just to remind the listener, whiskey's down the line. So he's got a lot of... From one trauma boy to another, I should be a little more competitive. You are. And I think I am.

You are.

Yeah, but he's been fucking pushing it. It's time for me to say as a non-codependent, you need to get engaged in the fight here and try to get some help.

Yeah, but it's just like he doesn't know thoughts.

Yeah, he doesn't know how to think.

It's like a big problem.

It's a major obstacle for him doing any self analysis. I might introduce booze to the situation because as many alcoholics will tell you, the medicine works for a period. It works for a long time or can. Yeah. And he's only going to live another. I don't know. God, I was thinking about that. During the night of... He's not an old dog, right? No.

He has a while.

And I was like, there could be 13 more years of this. And slow decline towards the end. Yeah, this is how he's acting at his fucking peak physical and mental prowess. God knows what shape he'll be in in eight years.

Well, he might just chill out, though. I feel like- Yeah, I'll go deaf and stuff. Some of these dogs just chill out.

Yeah. A part of it is, he responds to any noise he hears in the yard, this and that. But anyways, so maybe I I start giving him a can of beer every night.

Let's try it.

Let's try.

Okay. The name of the negging book is The Game. The Game. Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

Alternatively, of title, How to be a piece of Shit.

Basically. Okay. The Alexander Technique. I'm going to read a little bit about it.

Well, I want you to, and I don't want you to, because I have so much fun with what I think it is, and probably it's not what I think it is.

I know. Yeah. I guess I won't. I'll let it be.

No, no, no, no, read it, read it, read it, read it, read it.

No, no, I'll let it be. No, read. I can handle it. And then people can look it up. But- It's not breathing in each other's mouths in sweat pants. I mean, not really. But that could be a part. I'm not saying that didn't happen.

No, no. I was just teasing that. I don't want to know for real. Please tell us what it is. Okay.

The Alexander technique is a type of alternative therapy based on the idea that poor posture gives rise to a range of health problems. Classifies it as psychological and physical complementary approach to health when used together with mainstream methods.

So it's not even specifically for acting?

It's for movement class. Okay. It's connecting to your body.

It's like a health...

I mean, it started as that, I guess. Yeah, but then I guess actors use it to get into their body.

Yeah, get horny.

Maybe help it for long term back pain. Okay. Long-term neck pain.

Say anything about scoliosis.

Well, Parkinson's. Oh. Yeah. Okay, the method. Most commonly taught in a series of private lessons, which may last from 30 minutes to an hour. The number of lessons varies widely depending on the student's needs and level of interest. Students are often performers such as actors, dancers, musicians, athletes, and public speakers, people who work on computers, or those who are in frequent pain for other reasons. Instructors observe their students and provide both verbal and gentle manual guidance to help students learn how to move with better poison, less strain. Sessions include chair work, often in front of a mirror, during which the instructor will guide the student while the student stands, sits, and walks, learning to move efficiently while maintaining a comfortable relationship between the head, neck, and spine, and table work or physical manipulation. That's what I remember. I remember having sit in a chair and then stand up. But I guess at NYU, maybe there's more.

I think there's a lot of playing on each other and breathing each There definitely could be. I think it'd be safe to guess that an Alexander instructor would be very against the chair that we sit in for our job.

Very.

Yeah. It requires zero posture, which is why I like it.

I know. And I feel it. I am so slumpy.

I have a thing. You know what I do in the sauna? This started about, I don't know, eight, nine months ago. Now I have to sit completely erect for the 28 minutes. My posture, my back is I can't lean on anything. I just have to be directly sitting up straight. Use your abs. Yes. And what's funny is the hard part of the sauna is no longer the heat. It's just getting through the 26th.

Do you feel like it's gotten easier? Yes.

To the point where I was doing it last night and I thought, Is it time to try to do it while I meditate? I do feel like to be my best self, I should probably be not using anything to lean on while I meditate. So that's probably next.

To be your best self is to just do the meditation that feels best to you.

Yeah, but I'm always trying to improve myself, right? So it's like before I couldn't... I remember when I started this thing in the sauna, doing five minutes without leaning on something straight up and down was brutal. Now I don't start getting bothered until 15 minutes into it.

That's really good.

So then I thought, well, fuck, if I could do it in the morning for 20 minutes when I meditate, and then 26, 28 minutes at night in the sauna, I bet pretty soon I wouldn't even notice that I have to do it. Yeah.

As long as you're not sacrificing your meditation that you like so much.

Right. I wouldn't want to prioritize that.

Yeah. Also, you have scoliosis now, so you have to be a little careful.

Well, but I've always had it, so I just remember that.

I think you got it maybe in this last eight months because of your posture.

I don't know if that's it. But similarly, I hiked yesterday.

Oh, yes. An arm cherry saw me after she saw you. Oh, really?

Because One Arm Cherry, I was listening to my earpods, but my buds, because I've made my Air Maxes stink too much from... That's a whole other fact check about what's... Apple, if Are you listening? Sell replacement donuts.

I think that should be- Sell them, because when I go on Amazon, I can only find third-party makers of them.

I've ordered them. I don't like them. Make those available. They get stinky. Or at least tell me how to wash them. I'm also curious how to wash them.

We looked it up, remember? And there was something about... I feel like- Vinegar? I want to say vinegar, but maybe I made that up. But there was something- That is a cure for stink. Well, it just makes another stink.

My thought was put it in the dishwasher. They sell cushions. That's on the Apple website? Yeah, 70 bucks. Dude, how much? 69. I was fucking looking on that website for days and couldn't find that. Will you send me that link? Mm-hmm. Okay, well, that solves that. Great. But do you think you could put them in the dishwasher?

Maybe. But, no, don't put any other... Foods in there?

Dishes in there. Okay.

Like, ever again.

Do a dry fire, as they would say in the.

Do you like the smell?

No. I wouldn't have probably noticed because I never smelled them, which is weird because I smell everything. I'm a gross motherfucker, so I'm not even acting like... No. I would smell anything. If I itch my butt, I would smell my finger. Right. Yes. So I'm just saying I'm not acting I'm puritanical or a prude about this. It just didn't cross my mind. They're on my ears. But yeah, I hike in them all the time.

And you work out, yeah.

But Lincoln smelled them. She was like, Oh, my God, these smell so gross. And then I smelled them and I had to agree they didn't smell great.

Okay, so you were able to smell it once you smelt it.

Yeah, and you know why it's not a good smell? It's like an old moisture smell in a locker room.

It's like something's trapped.

It's not like B-O or Poody or any I have another number of smells.

It is like... It's like when your towel gets moldy.

Yes. I've never had this, but I'm assuming if someone really sweats through their socks and they smell their sock. Oh. Sounds interesting. Tell me more. I've never done that either.

But yeah, everyone talks about sweaty socks, but is it real?

Certainly people have really sweaty feet. I don't, personally.

They're like, oh, it's stinky socks. You're right.

My socks don't smell. The People always go, but my kids' socks smell sometimes. Yeah, they'll smell vinegar. And their shoes will stink. Little kids' shoes stink. This shoe, I could throw it to you right now. This shoe, I just saw a photo of myself in this exact pair of Chuck Taylor All stars. I've had those shoes for over 14 years. Smell them.

Yeah, they smell fine.

It's fine, right? It's not like it smells great, but 14 years-They don't even look dirty.

And you never cleaned them.

No, I've never cleaned them.

Wow.

You know what I mean? My shoes, the dirtier they get, the more I look at. You're very clean. Let me smell. How does that smell? Let me add them. Let me add them.

Send them over. They could smell better.

No, they smell like the fabric softener that your socks have on them. They don't smell at all, Rob. It's nice, right? Perfume. That's a fun game we should play more often, tucking Monica's shoe around. Okay. Well, I love you. Is there any more facts?

Oh, I think there might have been. Let's see really quick. Puce, just for people. I hope they looked it up. It's a gorgeous color. It's a pink.

Yeah, it's not the green shit color.

We thought it was a pukey color, but actually it's not. It's a beautiful pink.

Should you do a wall in your new house, Puce? Is there a room that would accommodate that? I think I could.

Yeah. I think I could. I wonder what a whole wall if it would be overwhelming.

It seems, in my recollection, when we looked it up, it's a light pink. It's not too bold.

No, it's a little bit... This is...

Yeah, that's not very overwhelming for one wall.

I wouldn't call it pastel, though. It hasn't pigment. Okay.

But one wall. Okay, maybe. I don't know. Think it over. I'll think it over. You call it the pews room. You're sleeping in the pews room when you have visitors.

Okay, real quick. Mary Steembergen. We mentioned that she had- Synesis? No, she got a minor surgery and then got really good at music.

Yeah, I thought that was called synesthesia.

Synesthesia is when you see color.

I mean- Hear colors. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, on People magazine that says Mary Steembergen's Brain. She woke up for minor arm surgery in 2007, and her brain was only music, an odd result that led her to a new songwriting career. Yeah. She said that her brain felt out of control immediately after surgery. It felt strange as soon as the anesthesia started to wear off. The best way I can describe it is that it just felt like my brain was only music and that everything anybody said to me became musical. All my thoughts became musical. Every street sign became musical. I couldn't get my mind into any other mode.

Yeah. That's nuts. It is very nuts. I've talked to her about it, and it's very compelling, and I believe her 100 %. Yeah.

And then last thing, some people who have synesthesia.

But we're not willing to call what she has synesthesia.

Well, I don't think she... She didn't call that. I know. I think it's just like now there's music in her brain.

But if stop signs are musical, isn't that the same as smelling music?

Maybe. I don't know. I don't either. Maybe. Pharrell.

He has it?

Billy Joel, Tori Amos, Van Halen, Duke Ellington. Billy Eilish.

What member of Van Halen? Eddie. Oh, Edward.

Kanye.

Sure.

Stevie Wonder.

He is more than just that. Yeah.

David Hockney, the artist, Charlie XCX. Also, Pharrell, I've heard he, and maybe this is related, who told us this, that he knows every Pantone color?

Oh, someone did tell us that.

Someone told us that. I bet it's connected to this.

Maybe each one represents a Maybe music is in color or something.

Yeah. I don't know. It's pretty cool. I wish I had that.

It sounds a little distracting if you ask me. I think I have enough going on in my brain.

But to taste color, I'd like.

Yeah. And although you're I'm really imagining the yummy flavors. I know. But if you saw some color in your immediately tasting licorice, you'd be like, You wouldn't want... You're going to assume that as many times as you like the taste, you would not like the taste.

I know, you're right. But it's just a fantastical way to live your life, to go through the world.

More hogwartsy.

Yeah. Well, I was thinking about Birdie Dodds' beans or whatever.

Oh, that's part of hogwart?

Yeah. They're jelly beans, and they taste...

Oh, like emotions?

Well, no, they taste like stuff, like regular jelly beans, but they have crazy flavors. Oh, like catfish. Well, they have catfish, and they have lint, earlint. Yeah. And then you can They made that into an actual product. Oh, my God, probably. You know when your ear hole, because you have one. Yeah, yeah. Two. You know how sometimes it smells? Yeah. Does yours ever still smell sometimes? I don't think it ever smelt. Or is it done, smell? I don't think it ever smelt. Really?

Did mine used to smell? You're saying as it done?

Mine sometimes smelt.

But you asked me, is it does smelling, which makes me nervous that my ears have smelled in the past.

Because I guess I assume Everyone's- So you get some wax on your finger, you smell it, and it has a weird smell.

Is that what you're saying?

No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Your earring hole.

Oh, God, yes. If you push out the gunk- The juice. The gunk- There's juice in there. Yeah, it's like dead white blood cells.

Right. Puss. Well, sometimes nothing comes out. But if I just like, squeeze on the holes- Yes, that's got the must smell.

Yes. Yeah, it's so interesting. I have a really gross... I got an example, but I think we will throw up while they're dry.

Okay, well, turn it off if you're going to throw up while you're driving.

Okay, I'm glad it's gone and I miss it. Okay. I used to lay in bed and I would play with the skin in my armpit. And at some point, I think I had an ingrown hair, and at some point I popped something, and somehow it just stayed a thing like an earring hole for a long time. But I would forget about it. That was the best, is if I forgot about it for a month. And then I was digging around there watching 24 or something right back in Santa Monica. Sure. And I'd feel that little ball.

Yeah, you push on it.

And I would squeeze it. And I would get out. This is what's going to make you throw. It's cheese. You'd get cheese.

Don't call it that. You shouldn't call it that.

I know what it is. You got to call it what it is. It's cheese. And then, yes, I would smell that, and it was terrible.

But I also love it. I know. I don't understand. I don't know what's going on with humans. I mean, I guess it's evolution. But why do we lie? We shouldn't have to like these gross smells about us.

See, yes, we've had so many psychologists on it. We've never asked the correct question, which is why would we enjoy smelling the cheese from our arm pit or belly button or your ear hole?

Your belly button has cheese?

Mine doesn't, but I just assume people's does. If they got their navel pierced, they probably have cheese.

Oh, yeah.

I think Marine's here. Okay.

All right. All right. Well, I guess we'll end on that.

Okay. I love you, and I'm sorry if you... That was rough for- If you threw up in the car. Yeah. I'm sorry if you threw up in your car.

Bye-bye.

Bye.