Hi, I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now, ever since this show started, I've been getting emails, dms, and even voice memos about a very specific topic I need to cover. A cornerstone of american culture.

It's the most incredible place. It's the first store that my daughter ever identified by name.

We love it there they were, talking Costco, and the messages, they kept coming in. If there's going to be a Costco episode, please tip us off to when I'll literally stay up until midnight. Fucking love Costco. I have a Kirkland logo t shirt. Walmart is gross, America. Costco is the ideal America, said another DM. It's a dollar 50 for a hot dog, and that includes a soda, said another person.

Costco is the greatest place in the world. When you go to Costco, you have to do a whole lap. You can't just go in there and look for the thing that you need. You have to go in and see if they've added anything new. You have to walk down every aisle. Oh, man, I fucking love Costco.

They fucking loved Costco. And there were weird messages to get because Costco was just a store. Then I remembered how much America loves both capitalism and hot dogs, and it made some kind of sense. I could ignore. Costco no longer. The store's website described it as a membership warehouse club dedicated to bringing the best possible prices on quality, brand name merchandise. It's one of the largest retailers on the planet, trailing only Amazon and Walmart. But somehow it seems to have crawled into America's hearts the most. Log on to TikTok and there are entire accounts like the Costco sisters and Costco finds boasting hundreds of thousands of followers that exist just to document Costco with the same gusto and influencer documents their diet and workout routine.

Costco just started making loaded mashed potatoes. This is over three and a half pounds of mashed potatoes made with Yukon gold potatoes.

Kirkland signature butter.

I wanted to know what the big deal was. Why were people so obsessed with a place that sells mashed potatoes? Was it the bargains, the culture? Or was it just the hot dogs? So get ready to fight for a car park and grab the biggest trolley you can find, because this is the Costco episode.

Flyless fly. Best flyless bird that's down in America. I'm a flyless bird that's down in America.

What an episode to get me when I'm just back from New Zealand.

So, America. So, America, did you miss Costco while you were in New Zealand?

We have it in New Zealand now.

Wow.

So we have it there. Famously when it opened, it had a series of disasters. For one day. Their whole credit card system broke down.

Oh, shit.

And then I think there was a fire as well. So Costco was cursed for a period in New Zealand. But now apparently it's running well. I didn't go to New Zealand, Costco. When I was in New Zealand. I was too busy out in nature and doing horrible.

How do you feel about being back home?

It's good. Sometimes the release schedule for this show really confuses my brain because this episode we're recording now isn't going to be out for over a month because you record so far in advance. It gets so confusing.

Yes.

And then I listen to this back when it comes out and I'm like, oh, my God. I just got back from New Zealand then and yet now I'm not. I've been here for months. That's the joy of when you make a show that has a lot of production right in the middle of it where you have to make documentaries. It makes it very difficult to do on the.

Yeah, you have to be.

It's such a weird thing.

Well, I'm very excited for this episode. I love Costco, but I've never been a Costco member.

Okay, so you're still not.

I'm still not.

So arguably, you're not even american yet. It feels like it's part of the deal, actually. Quickly, can I do a pause?

Yeah.

I wrote down something on my notes. It says, today is Groundhog Day.

Again. Groundhog Day.

We're recording this on February 2. I don't know what this is.

Oh, okay.

Genuinely, I don't. You get a groundhog out of the ground and you hold it up. You wear a funny hat.

No.

And it tells you when spring is happening.

No. So it's about whether the groundhog comes out of the ground or not and sees its shadow. And it is about spring.

It's six more weeks of spring, of winter.

If he does see a shadow, I'll look up.

Okay. No, it's one of those funny things because doing the show, there's certain things that suddenly happen. Like today, I'm like, why the hell haven't I done a whole episode? It just escaped me. And I'm seeing on my instagram, someone sent me, you know that meme format where it's like a horny message with lots of emojis in it? Do you know that meme format?

No.

Okay, so it's done with lots of emojis in it. It's like a big group text. What's up, sluts? It's Groundhog Day, and you know what that means. It's time to slurp down some lap hogs. Today, our favorite little fuckable gopher will be looking for his shadow to determine if we get more wet winter or if we move on to sexy spring. All the nastiest, sluttiest marmot mummies will be at Gobbler's knob to let that woodchuck fuck right into the inner circle. Send this to your best knob gobbling, acorn juggling thick wood badges. If you get back, it's going to be a long, hard, cold, dry, pussy winter for you. If you get five back, it's like a chain thing. If you get five back, you might see your shad hose after all. If you get ten back, you'll be getting a warm spring and a warmer load. If you get 15 back fucks. I don't understand what that word is. Will be scurrying into your greasy little gopher hole tonight.

Oh, my.

All right, there's local groundhog celebrities in different cities, okay? Multiple groundhogs, and they see their shadow every year on the same day. February 2.

Yes.

So if the groundhog sees its shadow, it predicts six more weeks of winter. If they don't, it's a forecast of an early spring.

But how do we know if he saw it? He can't see.

They report it on the news.

But how do we know?

Is it he has to see the shadow, or is it if there's a shadow, if the sun's in the right place?

I think it's Phil. It looks like this says people in the US tune in to see if Phil or their own local groundhog celebrities see his shadow.

I guess we're asking, is it just science, like, okay, there's a shadow, or.

Is the gopher reacting?

Phil? Yeah.

I thought the gopher had to react in some way.

I don't know. I think it's just if it's sunny or not out, it's really.

Exactly.

Honestly, it's one of the weirdest things. I mean, Groundhog Day I've seen multiple times. I love the movie. I love the idea of Bill Murray being stuck in a time loop, but I just have no concept. Okay, next year, flattensbird.

Yeah.

So there is Phil. He's been right 39% of the time since the tradition started in 80, he's.

The main go for seven. Yeah.

What does it mean? He's been right.

He has seen his shadow more often than not predicting a long winter.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm missing something here. Does he get a little fright when he sees the shadow? I love this.

David, you're going to have to do a real deep dive for next year.

Yeah, I'm going to also.

I guess I never put too much thought into Groundhog Day, but now as an adult, I care so much about having zero winter. I hate winter.

Now you want it to be gone.

So now there's a lot of stakes over Groundhog Day. If he sees his shadow, I'm pissed.

It's also very regional, the.

It's very, very regional. It's so specific. It's one of the weirdest. America has these little things like hot dog eating is another one I want to get into just that are so iconic and unusual because we don't have.

Long traditions, so we have to make fun ones up completely.

Yeah, it's. It's such an interesting thing. Like Costco? Yes, like fucking Costco. So you're not a Costco member.

Correct. I love Costco. I've been many times with members. Let me in. But I've lived in an apartment for so long, I just don't have the space once I move into my house.

Oh, my God.

I think I might become a Costco member.

Yeah. Because everything comes in bulk. Right. So if you get toilet paper, it's going to be a wall of toilet paper in a small apartment.

No place.

Where do you put it? I went with a friend way before I did this episode, actually, and I got some toilet paper there because it was a bargain. And it's all over the apartment still. It's like summer's in this cupboard. Some is in the bathroom, some stacked on top of the system. Some is under my bed. There's so much toilet paper. It's horrific.

Yeah. And do we get into what happened during the pandemic at. Sure. Okay, well, fuck, I'm sure. Costco.

Did they lose it? Did they lose the plot?

All the regular.

Everything ran out.

Ran out. So I assume Costco, same in New.

Zealand, because I was in lockdown in New Zealand during our bit of the pandemic. And all the toilet paper, bread and toilet paper.

Right, yeah. And Clorox wipes. Oh, my. You couldn't find that in the whole.

We really learned about ourselves over that time, didn't we?

We did.

So we got to have clean butts. Costco got no Clorox.

Wipes aren't for butts on other toilet paper.

You could use them on butts, probably extra clean.

Don't do that. We are not recommending that chemicals. Yeah, no, don't use it on your butt.

They got 10 million more members during the pandemic.

Holy shit.

My God.

I imagine. Yeah, that would have been stressful over that time for workers as well, I imagine. Keeping up with that demand. Okay, I'm going to play my little audio documentary. And I do want to point out I do sometimes have quite a deadpan sense of humor. And sometimes I say things in the documentaries that, in my head are kind of a bit of a joke. But because I say them so seriously, everyone just assumes.

What do you mean? People comment.

For instance, in this documentary I'm about to play, I say that you're not allowed to enter Costco if you're not a member. I mean, that's not true. You can.

Well, I don't think you check your.

Id in the door. You just can't buy anything, so you can. Technically, anyone can wander in. I thought you're just not able to.

Buy thing as you come in.

No, maybe they used to, but the one I went to in LA, you just wander on in. It's purely at the exit when you're buying things that they're like, get that idea out.

Okay. I feel like you didn't need to preface that if people are coming after you.

I mean, I'm feeling sensitive today. I'm prefacing everything. Sometimes I joke about things, you know, if I get something wrong, it's just a joke.

All right, let's hear it.

Obviously, the best way to learn about Costco was to simply visit Costco. But I had a problem. One doesn't simply walk into a Costco. I'd heard it was a members only club, like going to the bohemian club or Mar a Lago for a round of golf. So on a Friday morning, I pulled into what could only be described as a bustling parking lot to meet a man who'd agreed to get me inside. Thanks for letting me tag along on a shopping trip to. Course, of course. Is this a weekly trip for you, or.

No, no, this is a monthly every couple months situation.

Andy Rosen does a few things in life. He has a podcast that a lot of people, including Monica Love, called nobody's listening. Right. He's also a music producer, and he's a Costco member and pushing a giant trolley. We enter Costco together, and we're almost immediately presented with a wall of big screen tvs. We enter, and we're straight into big tech, giant tvs. Exciting things. This is exciting.

I know the flow of this particular Costco. They all have a similar flow.

Are they kind of tricky? Like, you come here for toilet paper and you immediately come past these giant, exciting products like tvs? Is that sort of the idea?

This is always here?

Yeah.

Tech's always up front. Will you be making any purchases while we're here?

I'm worried about that. I'm not sort of flowing in cash, but I feel like there's exciting bargains to be had for some kind of exciting things.

Right, yeah, stuff you need and stuff you don't need. So I get really swept up. Okay, so this is a weird thing. I have to always see how much the hard drives are. I don't know why, but 159 for a two terabyte solid state drive, that's a great deal.

I realize me, Andy will get on just fine. I love a good hard drive. I don't want to throw everything in the cloud. I want my data in my pocket and only my pocket. And I know the price of a typical hard drive, and this is a really good deal. I begin to feel something pulse in my veins. The Costco monster is being unleashed. This all started here in America 48 years ago, when Costco's predecessor, Price Club, opened. That was the brainchild of New Yorker Sol Price, who went on to be known as the father of the warehouse retail store. Price club was just an old converted airplane hangar in San Diego and started by serving only businesses. But slowly, the everyday american could get in on those bargains, as long as they paid a membership fee. Then in 1983, when I was about one year old, former Price cup employee Jim Senegal and Jeffrey Brotman opened Costco, and it became the first company ever to surge to 3 billion in annual sales in just under six years. Soon, Costco had 206 locations, had merged with Price Club, and they'd launched worldwide. Costco now takes in $64 billion a year.

Say you wanted a printer or a tv. Would you ever come here just for that? Or is it kind of, are you tricked into getting those things when you come here for something else?

I think it's both, but I personally would definitely come for a single item, and I kind of like a single item Costco trip, which seems insane today.

Andy's just here for some specific things for his family and is trying not to get too distracted. I'm mainly struck how big the aisles are and how industrial it all is. There are no bells and whistles here at Costco, this feels more like you're in a big warehouse than, say, a grocery store. And thank God there's no music being pumped in. I briefly get interrupted by a man who wants to know about my audio recorder.

How much of memory do you.

I've just got, like, a 16 gig card in here. I am Sennheiser, but I, for John, me and Andy have shopping to do. What do you think has been your best Costco purchase of all time?

That would be the little giant ladder for sure. Hands down.

What the hell is that?

You're not familiar with a little giant? Oh, it's really worth looking up. It's like a real legit ladder, but it folds in all these different ways. It gets pretty small, but it's tiny.

Yes.

So it's a little and giant at the same time. But, yeah, that's probably my favorite purchase. The weird and great thing about Costco, too, is do you know about the return policy?

No.

It's incredibly lenient. You can always bring something back. So, like, I bought a neutral bullet, those little blenders, and it died in, like, two years. Brought it back, no problem. Refund.

We pass a bunch of PlayStation five s. They're a great price. I think Andy can sense my growing excitement.

I don't know if this is okay for me to ask.

I'll ask you anything.

Are you getting in the spirit? Because the last time I came with my wife, we almost got into a thing about it where she was, like, I was getting stressed out because I like to go down every aisle and I like to see the surprises where she just wants to shop. She doesn't need the Costco experience.

I love seeing everything. I mean, it's exciting being here. I find this kind of incredible so far. So I'm happy to sort of roam and see what we stumble on organically.

But, like, are you getting the fever? Is what I mean, sort of like scene.

Yeah.

That technology area. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I want a playstation five. And that was a bargain. And it's sitting right there. As we walk down the aisles, I realize they really do have everything. Fruit and veggies, tvs, dehumidifiers, clothes, massage guns.

It's a power bank and hand warmer. This is really hard for me not to get.

1999. Good price.

I can't. That's foolish. Oh, this might actually be my favorite purchase ever. The battery, daddy.

Okay.

You put all your batteries in this? I have one. It's fully stocked, and it's my favorite thing at home. I want to get these for gifts for people. Because you'd like that, right?

How did you come to sign up in the first place? Do you remember what brought you in here?

I grew up. My parents had a membership, and then we would, in college, go to lunch sometimes because you get the dollar 50, hot dog and, like, a slice of pizza for a buck 50. So it's like a really good $3 lunch. Then when I moved to LA, I got my own.

It's right in.

Yeah, my love goes so deep when you're a member, there's like an auto program. And we stumbled into this because we leased a Volvo once and we were there, and they're like, are you have a Costco membership? And we're like, yeah. And they're like, oh, great, that's another $1,500 off. No negotiating, just straight off. And we've gotten that Volvo discount two more times. I just got another one for one $500.

As we round a corner, I see a man standing there advertising whiskey. They have these little sample people all over the store, and I'm amazed to think they're handing out samples of whiskey. Unfortunately, they're not. He's just there to tell people about it.

Yeah, it's angels envy Barbon, and it's a Kentucky straight barbone whiskey finished in pot wine barrels.

The price is very good here. It's $40. And if you buy two, it's going to be $33 for the one bottle.

And the outside store, the price has, like $90 here. So you cannot compare the Costco price.

No one can. He's a really good salesman, but I move on. Oh, yeah, the alcohol section is massive, isn't it? They're known for.

I'm not a wine guy, but, you know, they're really known for.

Showing my. I'm getting a bottle of Bailey's. Awful. But one of my hideous things that I enjoy like an old lady. I've got my baileys. Andy's been getting all sorts so far. Paper towels and toilet paper and giant bags of snacks and these amazing giant fresh muffins and cheese. There's so much cheese at Costco.

My wife went to just the regular grocery store and bought home a big block of pepper jack yesterday, and it was $15 where I'm like, these blocks are $8.

We pass by a bunch of rotisserie chickens. Costco's famous for these chickens. People have been known to fight over them. They're big chickens and they're cheap chickens, and they're cheap because Costco started their own chicken farm. Everything here is a bargain. I see piles of Logan Paul's energy drink. The stuff is basically crack for children. A whole big box is under $20. So this prime, if you take this back to New Zealand, it's selling like $30. No a can. This is a 15 pack of prime for 19. If I imported this to New Zealand, I would do better than like, bringing cocaine in.

This would pop off this pile here. How much money is this for your new business?

This is millions. This is insane. Eventually, our trip around the store is complete. We head for the checkouts, where it starts to get more feral as everyone converges in the same spot. We chose a bad line. And as Andy's paying for his shopping and my bottle of Bailey's, they start trying to sell him a membership upgrade.

And what is the big benefit if you go from a regular membership?

Right now, as you're shopping, you don't get any money back. If you switch the executive, you get 2% back off of everything you purchase here. You'll get in a check every February. That's accumulative of the money that you spent. Usually it can pay for your membership and people have an extra like 50 to shop here.

It doesn't work on Andy and they turn their attention to me. Fresh meat. This is my first time here. What should I do?

Well, right now we have a deal going on with the memberships. If you sign up, it's only $60, but you get 30 of it back to shop here. So essentially it's only $30 if you get a membership. It's a really good deal. Again, just don't want to pressure, but it's a really good deal.

No, I mean, I don't feel too much pressure. And, yeah, I do. I mean, $30 is good.

It really is.

And like that, Costco's got me. I'm an easy target. New Zealanders cave easily to pressure. We find it hard to say no because it's not polite. Maybe I will sign up. Can I do it now? It's weird signing up to pay a store just so you can pay them more there in the future. What a weird society we live in. I'm taken to another counter where they take my credit card details and then put me against the wall to have my photo taken. It's a slightly less revolting photo than my driver's license photo, so that's good. Seven and a half minutes later, after agreeing to sign up, I'm handed my photo id for Costco. Costco today, maybe Mar a Lago tomorrow. And I realize now I can do something incredibly special. I can buy one of those dollar 50 hot dogs Costco's so famous for. I go outside to find Andy, who's waiting and spot a man holding a liter of baileys.

I don't know why I feel like I go kind of unnoticed most places, but I have been getting a lot of eyeballs.

For some reason, a man standing on his own with a liter of Bailey's in the middle of there on a Sunday is a very funny look.

Oh, man.

Okay, let's get some delicious food, because this is something I've heard a lot about, and I do want to experience it. We go online up to order our lunch. They've recently installed little screens we can order at to speed up the process. I'm going to get a hot dog.

I'd like one of those.

And I'm okay. One for you. What's the one other thing I should really try here at Costco?

I would say for you, the chicken bake has kind of a real reputation. If that's intriguing to you. I'm going to get a slice of pepperoni, I think. But I think that's the most Costco move after the hot dog. Yeah, if you're keeping it real.

And they do desserts here as well. An ice cream cup. I'm just going to sample the strawberry ice cream cup. I mean, it's also cheap, isn't it? This is crazy. So we've got five hot dogs, a chicken bake, sliced pepper, and a pizza. A strawberry ice cream cup for $15. Yeah.

Is there anything else I know you've got? How many hot dogs are there?

Five.

That's also five soft drinks they're going.

To give you as well. I will note that some of those hot dogs I got to drop off for the rest of the flightless bird team. I eat badly, but I have my limits. This would be a great place for, like, a date, wouldn't it? A Costco date. A cheap. I'm exciting.

Yeah, maybe.

You don't look convinced at all.

Well, just the relationship my wife and I have with Costco makes us a hard question to answer.

We sit down on our own little Costco date. Andy takes a big bite of his greasy margarita pizza, and I how into my hot dog for some food. Asmr. Good dog. I then dive into the chicken bake. I'd never heard of a chicken bake before. It was mystery food.

Chicken cheese, bacon, Caesar dressing.

I'm buying them. Oh, my God. Yum.

Really good.

Yeah, I mean, it's not healthy, but it's fucking delicious. It was really good. Full belly. I was content. I felt I'd taken my first baby steps towards understanding Costco. When you want something and you want it big or a lot of it, you come here as a single man. I'm not sure a membership was vital, but I could eat some of those rotisserie chickens. And there was that PlayStation five. And who doesn't need a giant hundred pack of toilet paper anyway, I'll go home, drink my baileys and consider my options. Thank you so much for. I guess essentially you've indoctrinated me into the cult of Costco. Right?

I've signed.

Yeah, you're in.

I wasn't expecting that to happen, but I get it. I fucking get it.

Because it was a good deal, right?

$30 off, half price.

She had you. It's great. I was legitimately jealous when I heard the deal.

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It was an incredibly good deal.

Wow.

$30 for a year's cost membership. Haven't been back.

Oh, fuck. Well, I want to go. So I can go with you.

Yeah, I'll take you. Because yeah. Shopping as a single man at Costco, everything is bulk, everything is huge. And it's either you're disgusting because you're just getting these massive things, or it's just so impractical, it makes no sense. Which is why I've got toilet paper all over my house.

It's better for families. However, there are hacks. Like, if me and you go together and we get the 14 toothpaste, we can.

We can halve the toilet paper.

Exactly.

That's a really good idea.

Let's do that. Okay. That was so fun. I love Andy.

Andy was a great guide into that world. And his excitement did catch. I mean, I partly blame him for me taking that membership, because he got me so fired up about it, especially the tech.

Well, the tech. The fact that you guys called it tech. Okay. So I just texted him. We're going to call him right now.

Okay.

I want to get his perspective on his experience there.

Completely. Yeah. I don't know if I like this, but. Meant to only go one way, the show.

And then I asked if Elizabeth, his.

Wife, there was a lot of. Seemed like a lot of conflict between them.

Yeah.

About their relationship. Yeah.

All right. So I asked if she was around because then we can get her perspective.

I like this.

Andy.

Hello.

We're listening to you on. Is that. That's your reaction when you hear the. Yeah, it's like kind of orgasmic, and it's a little sexual.

Oh, no. Costco. Yes. Hearing that you're listening to me is a more fearful. The opposite of that.

Well, it was incredible. You were such a good guide for David, and I wanted to get your perspective. Did you feel good about that? Did you feel like he really caught the Costco bug? I want to get your honest truth.

I feel very happy that at the end of it, he got a membership that felt like a really big win.

Oh, yeah.

I had a lot of fun doing it. But I also, in retrospect, I had this nagging worry that I might have gotten into my Costco tunnel vision, which I kind of just like I'm in it. And I know I was trying to point things out, but I think I just kept pointing out every good deal, which is what I'm doing in my head when I'm there. But I did have a fear that I might have been too tunnel vision. And when I've gone with Elizabeth in the past, I almost look, like, scared while I'm in there or anxious.

Well, that's what I liked. We got in the brain of someone in that environment. You were really excited about a lot of the deals. I love that you have to check out the hard drives.

Yeah. I went to a different Costco recently, and I couldn't find the hard drive. It was really wound me up in a bad way.

Upsetting. Okay. Is Elizabeth around?

Yeah, yeah, she's nearby.

Do you want me to put you on speaker?

Yeah, let's get on speaker. Hi, Elizabeth. Okay, so we just listened to Andy on fightless bird for Costco. He was a gem. But it did come up a couple times that there's some tension in the marriage around the topic of Costco, and I just want to explore that.

Okay. Yeah, it's a big contentious. The money we spent on couple therapy around Costco.

Wow. You just think it's too much bulk. What's your beef with it?

Well, I think that this all really started when we were living in a very tiny house that had in between a college fridge and a regular fridge, small freezer. We had two little babies, lots of shit in there. And Andy came home with a Costco thing of waffles. And I almost lost because I was like, what are you thinking? And that's been kind of an ongoing thing. Like, there's this salad spinner he bought at Costco that's on our counter right now, and I'm happy to have it, but I'm like, where are we putting it?

Sure.

Bulk is part of it. Also, the whole experience stresses me out. I don't get the joy. And so, on his birthday last year, when he wanted to go to Costco, I agreed. And I was trying to be my best behavior, but it turns out I let him down, and we learned I just should not go to Costco with him.

Okay, this is good. Sometimes you learn your limits, right?

Yep. It's all about learning your.

Yep. Andy, did you feel like. It's like when someone is singing you a song and they're staring to get your reaction. Is it that feeling? David's nodding. He knows what I'm talking about.

It's like when you're watching a tv show and with someone, and you really want them to enjoy this bit, and so you stare at them for their reaction?

Yes.

Is it like, I'm with Elizabeth there, and I'm hoping she'll be excited on my wavelength, but then she's not exactly.

And then that causes. It's like, for her, she's like, oh, I'm supposed to be excited? And then you're like, oh, no, she's not excited.

It's kind of complicated, though, because when I'm there, as she pointed out, I look scared. She doesn't see me getting joy because I am so kind of overwhelmed. But I really love it. But I don't think I'm giving off vibes of enjoying it while I'm there. Sort of. If that makes it more complicated or.

Makes sense for you, maybe. It's like how people who are very anxious love horror movies because it's controlled chaos. It's like controlled fear.

I think you just nailed it.

Wow.

And I do love to find the deal, though. It's so great. I went the other day and they had sharpies on sale. That was like a big win.

Guess what?

Fucking on our kitchen counter right now. A huge, massive thing of 10,000 sharpies.

10,000? Wait, are you serious?

No. How many are there? 50. Wow.

Yeah, it's just like a 32 count.

Wow. That is a lot. That is a lot. Oh, this was a joy. I just wanted to check in, see how everyone's doing. I hope this doesn't cause a fight for the rest of the day. I tend to do that for couples in my purview.

It's our anniversary today.

Off to Costco.

Happy anniversary.

They planned Groundhog's day for it.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Did the groundhog, was the groundhog somehow connected to your anniversary?

Yeah. Just in the sense that it's every day married feels like it's the same. Yeah. That's just a coincidence. But we did.

We did watch the action at Gobbler's knob. This.

Yeah. You guys are in the know. All right, well, I'm going to let you guys go, but this was really fun. And Andy, thank you for joining. David.

Oh, it was a pleasure. I hope I was a decent tour guide.

Yeah.

Oh, so good.

All right. Bye, guys. All right, bye.

It was really good getting into her head around that as well.

Yeah, that was, I think, a little bit of this. I hate. God, I don't like doing this, but I wonder if it's gendered a bit like, does Costco lean male?

That's interesting. I think in my mind it might just in that men, this is so gender. But men like big. 10,000 sharpies and like, bargains. I'm just thinking of my dad, obsessed with the deal. And he'd invest so much time into the deal and I'd always be going, your time is worth money, dad. You have invested days into this, getting this deal.

And I think women tend, again, painting with such a wide brush, but women tend to nest. They create the home and the environment. Often. And so when it's crowded with 32 sharpies, it can feel like toilet paper. Offensive. You're messing up the space that I work to make safe and perfect for us.

I do think it's the ultimate example of a shop where you go, for one thing, and you end up coming back with something else. But not like a supermarket where you get an extra bit of chocolate, like a chocolate bar. You come back with like a PlayStation five or something, or ten massage guns or all that sort of shit. It's just such a ridiculous version of that.

I think it's good I don't have a membership.

Also, the idea of shopping as a couple. I guess people do go as couples because they're dealing with so much stuff. The trolleys are huge. Maybe it's a couple exercise. I imagine when you shop, you don't want a date with you or, like, someone with you. Or do you. Do you shop with people or solo all the time?

Well, it depends on what kind of shopping. If it's grocery shopping solo. No. But I hate grocery shopping so much.

Oh, wow. That was very visceral.

Like, outsource it a lot these days.

You're right. You get it aboard in on the apps. Yeah, that's what the apps are for.

I just hate it. But if I'm going clothing shopping or any other. You want budies, love buddies.

You want a budy?

I like solo, too. I like both. I just love it.

I think we should try Costco in the future, because I'm curious about this, the next part of the doc. I wanted to get into the mindset of the Costco employee because it sort of journeyed into the minds of someone shopping there. I wanted to know what it was like for the people working in this, what I assumed would either be like, an amazing place to work or a hellscape. I wanted to find out. As I finished my bottle of Bailey's, more delirious from the sugar than the alcohol, I realized I'd explored Costco from only one angle, that of the Costco shopper. But what of those who work day in, day out at Costco? What did they think of the place? According to their website, Costco is often noted for being much more employee focused than other Fortune 500 companies. By offering fair wages and top notch benefits, the company has created a workplace culture that attracts positive, high energy, talented employees. I needed to see if this was true. So it was back to Costco. A different Costco than last time. This one was bigger. I was here to meet former employee Naomi.

I remember when I worked here, there was someone who was just taking off their clothes in the middle of the store to try on clothes. And I was like, sir, please, you can't take off your pants here. There's just maybe a certain level of decorum that can get left at the door at times.

Naomi had left a few years ago for a lifestyle change, but before that, she was a copywriter at Costco's corporate office. And before that, she'd worked in a warehouse where occasionally people strip naked. I figured a former employee would talk openly with no strings attached.

So I started out. They used to have this program, and I'm not sure if it exists anymore, but it was a college student retention program. So basically, on, like, summer breaks and spring breaks and whatnot, I would come back and work in the warehouse. And that was truly anything from pushing carts to cashiering to folding clothes. Whatever needed to be done in there is kind of what I started out in. And then after school, I came back and worked at Costco Travel, which is kind of like a subsection of Costco, very different part of the business. And then moved over to the marketing copywriting side.

What was Costco like as an employer? Because just talking to people colloquially, I keep hearing all these stories about how they are a really good employer and stuff. Is that accurate?

I think so. I will say I've never felt more stable at a job than I felt at Costco. It's really hard to get fired from Costco, essentially.

Did you try?

No.

You'd have to really do something kind of effed up or steal or take bribes. That's basically the only few ways that you could get fired. And they have astonishingly good benefits, I would say, as well.

What's an example of a benefit a staff member would get at Costco?

I think just even compared to. I mean, healthcare obviously comes with a lot of different american jobs, but I would say the quality of the healthcare at Costco was really, really high, really hard to compare to other places.

I'd secretly been hoping for some dirt on Costco, but honestly, Naomi just seemed very Costco positive.

I think a mantra at Costco is always do the right thing, which is kind of a rare thing, I think, in corporate America, sticking to what would be right by the member, right by the know, right by employees. And that's kind of the moral guiding light for the business decisions of the company.

When she was there, employees got time and a half on Sundays, and if they went overtime, they'd get compensated really well with that and other benefits. People who work at Costco tend to stay at Costco.

So you'll see a lot of employees. If you look on their name tags, it'll say, like, how long they've been employed there for. And a lot of times you'll find people who've been here for 10, 15, 20 years. So I feel like when I say I'm a seven year employee, that's really almost nothing compared to a lot of folks who tend to stay with the company for their whole career. The supervisors are wearing red vests, but all employees should be wearing a name tag, and then it should say their position on the name tag. And then also if you see silver badges, that's the 25 year plus employees.

Naomi says she was always amazed at the fun, unexpected things planted throughout the store. So in amongst the chickens and toilet paper, there are spas, cars, gold bars, hemorrhoid cream coffins, birth to death, you're covered. And then there's all the ancillary things here too. You can get cheap hearing aids, and there's an optometrist here, eye doctor and all. And she says people put trust in the brands that end up here, including Costco's own brand. Kirkland.

From working at Costco, I know that the background in order to get a Costco signature product is that it has to go through several different phases of tests in order to be as high quality a product as the top name brand items in that same category.

She says her main Costco tip is just keep an eye out on the prices because they all mean something.

If you look at the prices on the signs, if it's an odd price, 1697, for example. 1697 as compared to, like, 1699, that usually means that the product is not going to come back for a little while. So it's the last bit of stock and sometimes they will discount it even more. Also, if you see, like, asterisks on the signs as well, or if it's highlighted yellow, all of those are things that I look out for where if I'm interested in a product and I see those things and I was just kind of on the fence about buying it, I'd be like, okay, I think this is the last time it's going.

To be here for it's now or never.

Yeah, exactly.

I thank Naomi for a time. And as we leave, we pass the food court and that age old story comes out about those cheap hot dogs.

When the new CEO came in and took over, I think the founding CEO was like, if you raise the price of the fucking hot dog, I'm going to kill you.

I think stories like that that surface on the Internet and do the rounds every few years, those are the things that keep Costco lore alive. We love good stories, and that's a really good story. Before I wrap things up, I needed to track down someone who's still fully in the cult, someone who still works there. And so I managed to find a man who's been working at Costco for a quarter of a century now.

I've thought about this for many years, and it became ingrained in my dna, and I realized that Costco itself, it's more than a brand, it's a lifestyle. So my name is Bret Bauer, and I'm in the digital membership programs at the corporate office.

Originally, he was going to be a firefighter, but then he applied for two very american jobs.

And so I ended up getting hired at Costco and Trader Joe's the same day. And my parents at the time said, hey, and they're longtime members, right? So they said, what, about five years, ten years down the road? Both fantastic companies. You make that decision, but think about career possibilities. And so ultimately, that's where I decided to stay, with Costco 18, pulling shopping carts. And nearly a quarter century later, I'm here at the corporate office, two states away from where I started, down in San Diego, California. So making that decision 25 years ago, how that would have changed my life's trajectory.

25 years is a long time. It's a long time to be anywhere, let alone at one job, let alone at a Costco. But for Bret, it's his life. Like it really is his life.

I'd met my wife at Costco. She was a seasonal employee at the time. I filled out my phone number and gave it to her on a Costco register. Know started dating, and I bought the engagement ring when it was time for that. From Costco, we sell diamonds, very high quality diamonds. And then once we graduated, to get a fur baby before we had kids, our dog, we named it Kirkland, as.

In Kirkland the Costco brand. So to recap, he met his wife at Costco. He got the engagement ring from Costco. He named his dog after Costco. If Costco is a cult, I guess this is it. And like any good cult, they like to keep things in house. As of 2024, they have a new CEO, Ron. He's been a Costco employee for 40 years, starting as a forklift driver. Brett's worked alongside him. I look down at my membership card and wonder if this is now my culture, too. Being so far away from New Zealand. I often feel quite dislocated from what I think of as my culture. Now I'm in America, maybe this is it. A culture of shopping and rotisserie chickens, coffins and dollar 50 hot dogs. How do you feel about Costco after listening to a man that's worked there for 25 years, met his wife at Costco, got the diamond ring at Costco.

I love it.

It's kind of incredible, right?

It is a full in culture, all in. They have amazing business practices. I think that's incredible. In a very capitalistic country, they're still looking out for everyone.

I was trying to get goss the whole time. That's why I talked to a former employer. I'm like, you're going to slip something in about the behind the scenes nightmares. But everyone genuinely seems very enthusiastic, which is just really rare.

Yeah. It does embody some old School kindness. They trust that if you need to return something, they let you. Right. They're not like, fighting back. They're good to their employees. I like it.

The more I think about this, the more I realize how much my dad would enjoy it, because he is that bargain guy and the gadgets and the things, and it's just going into a place where literally you're getting hemorrhoid cream. 1 second a coffin, the next diamond ring for your fiance who you proposed to at Costco. It's just everything in the one place. The one criticism I would say that I found was the car park was fucking stressful as hell.

Yes. Parking there is rough.

You need, I think, to choose when you shop there. There's certain times, I imagine weekends are quite bad, but I found it so incredibly stressful.

Yeah.

That's the one thing when we go, we need to pick the right time.

Okay.

Because we might not even get a car park. Even leading up, I was, like, looking on my Google maps. Am I close to Costco? I realized I was, because there's a huge line, like, backed up the streets trying to get into the car park.

You went during the week. Noon. Like, not at a weird time.

Really nutty.

Whoa.

But it is a good bailey's bargain. I can recommend it for the Bailey's.

Yes. I want that chicken bake.

Are you serious? Okay. I would love to have a chicken bake with you at Costco because it is friggin'delicious. And the thing about it is that you can buy frozen chicken bakes inside. So if you love the chicken bake that you have at their little cafe outside, you can, of course, buy them frozen. And I've got a name, my neighbor, who's a kiwi as well. She's got a family. She's always at Costco, and she finds certain products that are just hot right now. So we have pizza night at her house for a while. There'd be, like, a certain pudding that she'd have, and that's because that was the hot thing at Costco currently moment.

Well, there's a dip. It's a spicy, not spinach, artichoke dip, but in that vein, it's from Costco.

Right.

It's so good. A friend of ours always has it, and it's incredible. They do have some items that you can only get there that are so good. And the muffins are so good.

Oh, Andy lost it at the muffins. Yeah, there's so many muffins, and they look, they're really big. Freshly baked muffins. Really hardy. Yeah. I think you just leave Costco feeling like you've had a bargain, and you've also got something that you're genuinely excited for, like a salad spinner or whatever.

Andy got it is, but it is also so american in that it's so much stuff, and you're getting a deal and you got to get it and you have to own it. And then you get home and it's like, oh, now I just have so much stuff. And am I ever going to use any of this? Probably not.

The thing with stuff I found because going back to New Zealand, I was packing up all my stuff, and it's weird because as a human, you always want to get stuff. And I know it's just the trick of society, but when I go out, I love getting stuff, and I think I love the stuff. I'm like, I love that thing. But then it's been sitting in New Zealand, and when I'm in America, I didn't even think about it. Yes, I don't care about it.

I know.

And it's just. It's such an od thing. And what you're talking about, when you're in a small apartment, you don't get stuff because you have nowhere to put it. But then when you move into a bigger space, there's this thing in your human brain which was like, gotta fill it up. Let's get a thing.

And I know in some other countries, it's a lot more minimalist, but we're not minimalists.

And also that scandal with Marie Kondo, where she was, like, getting us all to throw everything out and minimalize everything and then she gave this really amazing interview where she was like, my house.

Is actually a. I mean, look, I don't think that's a scandal. I think she came up with what she did, like, a good plan for organization. And she's just admitting, like, I don't always stick to that. I'm glad.

I call it a scandal. I think it's amazing. It's honest and it's great.

Yeah.

And I just really love that while we're all freaking out about minimizing and.

It'S like, how does she do it? It's like, well, she does her best for the rest of us.

We're all doing our best.

We are.

Chicken bake.

I'm excited to go with you. This was a really fun episode. Thank you, Andy.

So talking about the weird time with the show, I bought you in those Costu hot dogs last year. Now, we ate those. Yeah, they're a bit cold, weren't they? By the time I bought them cold.

That was the problem. They were good, but they were cold.

We'll do fresh chicken bake.

Yeah.

And it's going to be amazing.

I can't wait. And I want the pizza.

We can do it all.

Okay. I'm excited. Okay. This was fun. You're a lot more american. You have a Costco membership. I don't even know. That's 99 points.

Thank you. I have something american that you don't have.

Exactly. You're more american.

Exciting day.

One area, but I like it.

Maybe when we go, they're going to sign you up for that deal.

I'm the opposite. I'm like, oh, no, it's on sale. Not for me.

Yes. You're that rare thing in America. I love it.

I'll pay full price.

Don't give me a more money for this. Is there a more exclusive deal that's more expensive? Oh, man. This was fun.

Okay, see you. Bye.