Perfect. All right. Numbers are moving.

It's recording. Oh, yeah. It is recording. Okay, now I'm going to try something different, Monica. Because my pre recorded intro, I didn't think it was any good.

Oh, my God.

So I'm going to do a live read of the introduction. Very exciting.

You second guessed.

I second guessed, yeah, I just read it and I didn't like it.

Okay.

And so while I was waiting for you guys to finish synced before, I just rewrote it.

Oh, wow. Just now?

Just now.

Hot off the presses.

So it's still not great.

Okay.

But you let me know if it holds up.

Great.

And if it holds up, let's just put this in the episode.

I love it.

Okay.

I'm going to close my eyes.

A lot of pressure. Okay. I'm David. We've heard this before. I'm David. Farrier and New Zealand are accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. I crossed out a whole lot of things, and the new one begins. As I explained in an earlier episode, I had to come back to New Zealand late last year because of my three year work visa running out. Now, to get a new american work visa, I had to fill in a lot of forms and pay a lot of money to some lawyers. The final piece of the puzzle was that I had to leave America and attend an interview at a US embassy somewhere abroad. America, being the helpful country that it is, wouldn't let me take a road trip to Canada or one down to Mexico. To prove my dedication to America, I'd have to fly away from America to an embassy that wasn't in a country or a place nestled up against the american border. So I decided I was going to make a big trip on a plane. So I might as well fly all the way back to my country of origin, New Zealand.

How are we going so far?

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

Yeah.

Just trying to set up while I was in New Zealand because I think it is kind of funny that I can't just go to Canada to go to an embassy. I've got to, like, America makes you really leave.

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

They put you through your paces.

They do.

Right? So we made to new Zealand. I was there waiting for my new visa to be issued for about a month. So I decided I should record a few episodes of flightless bird about being stuck in New Zealand. And this is a line I feel really excited about. Are you ready?

Yeah.

So welcome to a New Zealand episode of Flightless Bird, which saw this flightless bird grounded in the land of flightless birds. Get it? Because I'm the flightless bird. Usually in America, because I can't leave America. But now I'm in New Zealand, which is where all the flightless birds look. You should have seen the old one. It was worse. All right. Theme songless birds down in America. I'm a flyless bird.

Touchdown.

In America. Hi, Monica. I'm back in America.

You're back in America.

How's everything going?

Everything's good, but I wanted to address.

Oh, this doesn't bode well.

No, this is not a problem.

Okay.

For you.

That's where I go straight away. Problem.

I know.

Panic.

So you went back for your visa?

I did.

I currently am trying to get a travel visa.

Oh, incredible.

And it is so complicated.

What part of the world are you going to?

The subcontinent.

Okay.

I had to ask my mom and dad so many questions today that I didn't know the answer.

Like your parents date of birth and stuff like that.

They know their dates of.

I know. That was always a mystery to me. I always forget.

I always do have to do math to figure it out. But the exact cities they were born. Another important question was, have I ever been there before? Which I have. And when I went, what were the addresses of the places I stayed and the cities, all the cities I visited and the visa number from then, and it was 1992. We don't have any of that.

It doesn't exist.

Yes.

Did you do it on the fly? Did you wing a few things, or did you just get it as close as possible?

I just labeled the cities, and I said, no visa number.

Yeah. It's the deepest dive into your own life you can ever have.

But who's going to keep that information?

I'm wondering how closely they check, because with the american visa, it wants to know my last five or ten trips, in and out, dates and everything. And I'm like, I don't have that. And so you're trawling through emails for different flights you've taken and arrival times, and my terribly organized.

Oh.

The interesting thing about America is they want to know all your social media handles. And I just pictured this. If anyone is actually doing some kind of a search on there to see if you're saying disparaging things about America, are they looking at your political leanings? Are they making sure that you're not.

A terrorist or something?

Yes. I'm listing Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I've got a TikTok I never use. And I'm just wondering is any poor person in the immigration department having to go through my social media and read what I've. And what's the red flag? When do they send me off to another department to go, we're not sure about this David guy?

Yes. Oh, this is so fascinating.

Do they listen to flightless bird episodes and see how american I am? Does that factor in? Or is it all just to make you a bit on edge and make you sort of go, do I really want to do.

Oh, this is a great question. I wish we could talk to someone who works in that department.

So I want to do an episode about immigration because there's an interesting thing where I met a few people in New Zealand who are Americans who moved there to New Zealand. They were just like, I want to try something different. And then a few of them have renounced their US citizenship. You know how we've talked about the ceremony of me becoming a citizen one day? The whole thing about getting rid of your citizenship, it's such a highly charged, really full on moment. And I was talking to someone in New Zealand who'd done this, and they just talked about what they weren't expecting. They were really upset at the ceremony because everything you're sort of drilled into as an American is what a privilege this is. And so they realized giving it up, it triggered something, like deep inside they were just doing it for a practical reason. Like, they live in New Zealand now. They're not coming back to America, all the rest of it. But they had this really emotional response.

I don't think I could do it, which feels crazy.

And. No, for the same reason that I talk about how difficult it would be for me to give up New Zealand citizenship and pledge to another country. There is this thing about wherever you're brought up, you end up feeling this deep loyalty to the place.

But more than loyalty, there is a gratitude for the place, I think, that is underneath all of it. And then it feels like cheating. It feels like you cheated on your monogamous partner.

Yeah. And it's the place that made you you. Right. So you're like, this defines me. And now I'm just turning my back to this place. And so, yeah, after some of these conversations I've had, I just thought this could be an interesting question and as well, of people immigrating to America and becoming citizens, and then I like the idea of the reverse thing. Another interesting thing about America is that once you become a citizen. So I'm on a visa, right?

Yeah.

Next step would be a green card.

Right.

Next step would be citizenship once you've got citizenship. If I left and went back to New Zealand for the rest of my life, I would be filing taxes in America. And there's only two countries that do that. I can't remember the name of the other country. Basically say, I go back to New Zealand and get a job in New Zealand. Nothing to do with America. Because I'm an american citizen for the rest of my life. I have to file taxes in America.

Based on what you've earned in.

Could have nothing. I could never return here. I could have a huge falling out with you guys, be like, I don't want to do this podcast anymore. Go back to happen. Go back to New Zealand and I go and work in an office in New Zealand, have to file US taxes, pay taxes to America, fund America with my taxes for the rest of my life.

Wow. If you became a citizen here and then you moved back, and then we had a big falling out, you said, I don't want to do this podcast anymore. And then you move back to New Zealand, can you renounce the american citizenship?

Yes, I can. But when I do that, I would not be allowed to say it's for tax reasons. That's like a no no. So I'd have to be like, oh, no, it's nothing to do with tax.

They make you say, why?

I want to find out. I want to talk to someone that's been through the process and see what the situation is because I'm so, so curious.

Remember we called my dad, but he didn't have much information.

No, he didn't.

I didn't remember much. But also on this travel visa form, I had to fill out about them, their place of birth and their nationality and if they ever had a previous nationality. And for both of them, it's true they're both american citizens, but were originally born in India.

When do you find out whether you're given a thumbs up or a thumbs down?

I'm not so sure.

You're just waiting.

I'm just waiting.

It's all out of your hands. It's whether they deem you worthy or not.

Back by then, by the time this airs, and Dax is doing this too, he's doing this process, too. And I kept thinking today when we were getting these questions, it's so much easier for him. He just says, no, no. Yes.

There's no complications. Just America. America. It's all America. Here I am.

Yeah.

Imagine if you had been a bit busy to made me fill in the forms on your behalf. I'd be like, oh, she came here as a wee baby. She'd give you an entirely different narrative. Yeah. So good you didn't. You got to fill those forms in yourself. Well, good luck.

Thanks. Let's hope I get there.

Do you have any questions about New Zealand?

No, but I'm really excited to hear about yours.

I haven't even said what the topic is. Okay, let's just. I'll play you my little documentary. It's very specific about a very specific thing. But sometimes I think we've got to be specific in this life, you know?

Agreed.

Sometimes you don't know what you're missing from home until you return. It all kind of floods back at once. And in New Zealand, it's things like all the green you see out the plane window, the fresh air that hits you when you leave the airport, and the sight of certain trees and animals. But for me, the main thing. The main thing I'd forgotten I'd been missing this whole time. The taste and smell of my favorite fruit, the fijoa.

Oh, hi.

I'm Georgia.

Georgia is just one of 5 million New Zealanders who love the fijoa. I understand you're a fan of the fijoa.

Oh, I also got to swear, can I fucking love a fijoa? I love a fijoa so much. So much. It's just part of the culture. You walk down the street, and there's a tree on the side of the road, and you just huck some fijoas in your bag.

That word that you just said. Huck.

Huck, like throw huck. I don't know.

It's really good. I'm a New Zealander, and I haven't heard that word before. It's really good.

Huck's a good word.

You can put it into your vocab.

What is it about the fijoa that's so good? Because I feel like Americans, they don't know what they're missing.

It's like a soury sweet in its own package. You don't even need to put it in anything. You can just huck it off a tree, open it, eat it.

It's so good.

Simply put, fijoas are the best fruit referred to by some New Zealanders as green goals. They're green and about the size of the egg I once cracked on Roosevelt's head. Using words to describe the taste of a fijoa is doing the fruit a disservice. To understand the ecstasy of a fijoa, you've got to use your taste buds. Some say the flavor has hints of guava or strawberry or pineapple. It has the softness of an avocado with the soft, gritty texture of a pear. In a typical year, in a typical Fijoa season, how many fijoas would you throw back?

Honestly, if I can get a good access to fijoas, I would do 20 a day in, like, a sitting, because all you do is just cut them up. And then my secret hack is if you eat one half that is delicious, I'll put the other half aside so I can make sure I finish on a good fijoa. Because some of them will be duds. 20 a day, I would say easily. Yeah.

So in your lifetime, we're talking thousands of fijoas?

Absolutely.

Like many New Zealanders, George's appreciation of the fijoa started in her youth.

My neighbors where I grew up had a fijoa tree, and I used to go on night raids. So, like, they told us that we could come and pick fijoas off their tree, but I was always too embarrassed to do it during the day, so I would go in the dark of night. And then as I got older, when I met my fiance, I would make him come with me to go on night raids to get Fijoas off the romantic. Yeah, start of a great relationship.

I mean, it was. Georgia and her fiance now own a dog and are getting married later this year. Now, when in America, I find myself browsing the fruit aisles of countless american grocery stores, desperately seeking a glimpse of my favorite green fruit. But I always fail, sinking into a deep depression. But now I'm back in New Zealand, I can embrace the Fijoa. And in this country, we're not just eating fijoas. We're putting fijoas in everything else. We put it in our chocolate smoothies, ICE cream, wine, champagne, and in our beer. It's become near impossible not to eat Fijoa as they just put fijoas in every other food and drink. And so I've driven about an hour north of Auckland city to the dreamy town of Maticana, because here they brew an award winning fijoa beer.

This is a wild Fijoa, and the vintage is 2022, and it's the best beer in New Zealand currently.

Just as an aside, the transcription software I used to make flightless bird can't understand the New Zealand accent. So when Sean said, this is a wild feed, Joe the transcript read, this is a wild vagina. Anyway, I'm at the bar talking to Sean from the eight wired brewery. The name of the brewery is a very New Zealand thing. Number eight wire is a common type of wire farmers use for their fences here. Farming's big in New Zealand. Yeah, that includes sheep. And number eight wire is everywhere. And because it's so versatile, it ends up being used on things besides fences. You might wind some number eight wire around something to hold it in place. So number eight wire came to mean problem solving. So if Dax was in New Zealand, people might look at him fixing a car in an inventive way and say, wow, look at Dax. He has a number eight wire mentality. My point is, that's what the brewery is referencing by calling itself eight wired. You say, the best beer. What makes it the best beer? Has it won an award? Is this your personal opinion?

Won that big trophy down the end there, that big wooden block? It won that. And that is the champion beer, which is the highest award for the beers.

At the guild awards. Sean pours me a pint of Fijo a beer and I take a chug. And because it's a hot summer's day in New Zealand, and because this beer tastes like fijoas, well, this drink is heaven.

You basically brew a pale ale beer. Then you stick it into barrels for a couple of years and then you mix a metric ton of feed joes, gets mixed with that, and then you sit that for about another year and then it gets packaged up. When it's a fresh vintage, it smacks more of the feed joes. And then the older it gets, the more of the barrel age funk comes out. So if you were to taste one of those 2014 vintages, it'll be really funky from the barrel.

I take my delicious beer outside because I'm not just here to drink beer, I'm here to meet someone.

My name is Kate Evans. I'm a freelance journalist in New Zealand. I mainly write for New Zealand Geographic magazine, but I also write for some american publications like scientific American and biographic.

More importantly for this episode, Kate has also recently written a book about Fijoers. It's called Fijoers, a story of obsession and belonging. And from what I can tell, it's the first in depth book focusing on the best fruit on the planet. I wanted to learn from Kate how this fruit became so synonymous with New Zealand as synonymous as sheep and flightless kiwi birds and number eight wires. It's my suspicion that part of the appeal of the Fijoa is that there are so many fijoa trees everywhere here, just growing in backyards and on sidewalks. And so at the right time of the year Fijoas are free.

I grew up about 15 minutes from where we are now in a very small town of about 500 people called Lee. My dad had a Fijoa hedge and one big, beautiful specimen, Fijoa. And my sisters and I would walk home from school every day. And in the autumn, which was Fijoa season, the beginning of the school year for us, the ground would be covered in fijoas and we heaven so good. And we just get home from school, chuck off our school bags and sit under the tree with a spoon and a knife, cut them open and then spoon them out and eat them.

Can you just describe this? Because if you haven't had this experience of this, just fijoas en masse falling from the sky and you just devour them when you're a kid, what sets it apart from other fruit? Because there is something very fucking special about a fijoa, right?

Well, one thing is the crazy abundance. There's nothing for nine months of the year, and then there's just shit, tons of them for two or three months. And you can never keep up. They're always just roshing in the grass. But the day that they've first fallen, they're amazing. One of the amazing things about them is the smell. So they're very fragrant and the smell is not like any other fruit. And in the book, I ended up talking to scent neuroscientists, talking about how things that are really strongly flavored, especially things that we encounter when we're children, the scent center of the brain is really close to the memory center of the brain. And smell can trigger memories in the way that few other senses can. And so when you cut open ephedrine, it has that really distinctive smell, and you haven't smelt it for like nine months of the year or years. If you've lived overseas, you're transported back.

To being a kid in the best time of the year.

Yeah, this kind of like, beautiful, relaxing thing of being in the garden or in the sidewalks in the suburbs.

Kay's done some digging into the Fijoa situation in the US and tells me that you can sometimes find them there in farmers markets. But in America they're called pineapple guava, which makes sense because they do sort of taste a bit like those fruits. Fijos, sorry. Pineapple guavas were brought to California in 1901 by an italian gardener who had gotten some seeds in from France. Immediately caught the eye of a man in Santa Barbara.

And this guy Francesco Francesca in Santa Barbara was like, this is going to be the fruit of the century. And he was passionate about Fijoas, and him and a couple of other guys who were kind of involved in bringing the avocado to California as well, which obviously was a lot more successful. They were really trying to promote the fijoa.

For a while, things were looking good for the tiny green fruit. Back in 1914, an american newspaper proclaimed the Fijoa a wonder fruit that will soon be one of the most popular sugar fruits in the United States. Ads said it was the most popular new fruit since the avocado, and by 1915, seeds were selling for $6 a gram, which by today's standards is about $150. Unfortunately, after a promising start, the Fijio are ultimately tanked. In the US, the fruit doesn't store very well and can go off quicker than an avocado. They're also really variable from seed to seed, so the quality of trees varies a lot.

So you have to graft it or clone it in some way, and they're not that easy to do that.

Some Fijoa trees refused to grow Fijoas at all. By the 1930s, the LA Times had taken to calling the Fijoa a desirable hedge plant. This description is sacrilege to a New Zealander. Kate tells me that despite the ultimate failure of the Fijoa in America, she's located a few stray trees around San Francisco and Sacramento and other bits of California.

I met some crazy Fijoa fiends in Red Bluff, California, in the middle of nowhere. They would trawl the streets of Sacramento looking for street trees and them in people's gardens and they knock on people's doors and be like, excuse me, can we clean up the mess for you? And then they come and get all the fijours.

New Zealand has also tried to get other fijour products into America, but unsuccessfully. It's like the fruit was cursed by the founding fathers. 42 Below is a big vodka brand here in New Zealand, and they launched a bunch of their vodka in America, every flavor a success except the Fijoa flavor. Apparently, when they ran their Fijoa vodka past the FDA, the FDA said no, because the Fijoa doesn't exist. It seems the Fijoa's fate has been well and truly sealed in the US. It's clear I'll have to use as much of my time in New Zealand as possible, guzzling as many fijoas as I can. Stay tuned for more flightless bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for flightless bird comes from Ag. One now, taking care of your health isn't always easy, but it should at least be simple. That's why for the last couple of years, I've been drinking ag one. It's just one scoop mixed in water once a day, every day. And it makes me feel much more energized and just ready for the very busy day I've got ahead. That's because each serving of ag one delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, and more.

It's a powerful, healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. Now, in the morning, I've basically got this routine where I'll go for like a big walk to limber up and get a bit of exercise in my life. And then instead of getting home and slamming back a coffee, I slam back in ag one. I just get a scoop, put it in water, mix it up, and it's actually really delicious. And instead of being left feeling buzzed and a bit stressed, I just feel energized in a really healthy way. And that's because with ag one, I know I'm getting essential brain, gut, and immune health support with vitamins, probiotics, and nutrients from whole foods. Whole foods that I probably don't eat enough of in the wild. So I know I'm getting it in ag one. I like to think of it as nutritional insurance. I know I'm covering my nutritional bases right from the very start of my day. And just in general, it's helped me with my work, it's helped me stay focused and clear, and it's just given me some routine in my day. And if you start your day right, make the bed, go for a walk, have the ag one.

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What size are they?

They're like an egg. They're egg shaped? Yes.

They're about an egg sized.

Egg sized. Egg sized.

Egg shaped like a kiwi.

They're like a kiwi. Oh, yeah. They're exactly. It's very similar size. They're a bit more oval than a kiwi. I think a kiwi is a bit more round.

Yeah.

Fijo is ovalish. It's hard to describe. And look, I need to admit something because I came back from New Zealand a little while ago now. I bought you back some fijio, a chocolate and stuff because I was like, I can't bring the fruit back.

You ate it all.

I ate it all.

David, this is a serious. Okay. Wow. I don't know what to say.

Discipline problems.

This is a serious issue. This is now the third time you've attempted to gift things.

Yeah, and there's a donut issue a while ago. Look, all I can say is I love fijoas. And sometimes if I'm at my house and I get a bit sad or something or a bit down, I just want to eat chocolate. And it was for your chocolate was there. So I don't have it all. I ate it all.

Well, then I'm not sure if it exists. I am like the FDA. I'm just not sure it exists until.

I see that sounds like that's made up. I have on good authority from someone that talked to the FDA that that's exactly the reason that this Fijo vodka didn't get in, because literally 42 below every other flavor. They imported Fijo, which is their most popular flavor in New Zealand. They couldn't get in.

Wow.

So you have never heard of the pineapple? Okay, so that's the thing. You can get them here, apparently. Okay, I will look. Monica, I will find you a pineapple guava, aka feed gel in the future. And I will bring you some. And you can try a feedo. Yeah. Look at pineapple guava. And just see if you've seen them at a farmer's market. Because we are in California and this is where some of them do grow.

Oh, wow. It kind of looks like a lime.

Yeah, fair.

Okay. Oh, it has a little hat.

It's got a little hat. It does have a little hat. Yeah, that's where it attaches on to the tree.

Or it looks a little bit like an interesting shape. Cucumber.

This is why it never took off in America. Because people walk by these fruit and they're like, that's a little, tiny cucumber. I don't feel like a cucumber. That's tiny. I'll just get an ordinary cucumber. Are you eating fruit? Because my favorite fruit, the passion fruit and the kiwi fruit.

I am not a big fruit person. It's definitely lacking from my diet.

You're more a veggie gal.

Yeah, I would say more a veggie gal. If I'm at the grocery store, one out of five times I buy fruit.

One out of five.

I'm a ten out of lemon and lime and stuff for that's not. I don't count that. Because I'm mainly cooking.

Because one thing I love about California is all these punnets of fruit everywhere. There's strawberries and there's backberries. And then there's apples and pears and all the. And watermelon chopping into a big watermelon. Pineapple.

I like pineapple. I like watermelon. I don't love apples.

Okay.

If they're in a salad, cut up, I like that. But I never enjoy just biting straight into an apple. Hurts my teeth.

Did you have a bad experience with an apple as a child? Like one that was a bit too flowery or something? A bit too tart or something?

No, it just doesn't feel fun to eat. Doesn't feel pleasurable for me to eat. If I'm buying fruit at the grocery store, it's either likely a banana or blueberries. Blueberries is my go too.

Those are great choices. And combine those into a smoothie and you've got a delicious smoothie.

But then you have to clean the blender and stuff. I think that fruits feel complicated. You always have to do something. You have to wash the berries. I need them to be as easy as an almond where you just eat it so fast, you can't. You have to wash the berries, you have to cut up the apple. You have to peel the orange. Peel the banana. The banana has fruit flies.

I mean, the fruit flies do come for the banana.

Yes.

Extremely quickly. Where are they? I'm in an apartment. There's no bugs. I pop a banana out.

I know.

Have they hatched a ride on the fucking banana? It's fucked.

I do wonder about fruit flies. Like, are they born in the banana? Why?

Yeah. And if there's not a banana around, you don't see them. I never see a fruit fly just sitting on a wall or just relaxing. I don't know. What the fuck? Where are they? Are they in the house behind a book or something? Waiting until. What's that banana? There's going to be 500 of us in your kitchen when you wake up tomorrow.

No, I don't know where they. We need to look at where they come.

We do. Because it's crazy, right?

I have a bad feeling they like, emerge from the banana.

They're hitching a rot. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense, right?

Because they do not exist otherwise.

And the banana hits a certain level of ripeness, usually overripe. The thing about the fruit fly, they move so slowly, it's like they're lazy. And I hate. I'd rather have a fast moving insect. The slow moving lazy thing. Horrible. You know, I will agree on this. My other question was about washing fruit.

Okay.

You do need to wash fruit here, right? Because they'll be sprayed with various things.

Exactly.

Okay. Same in New Zealand. Yeah. You always wash. Sometimes, though. I'm so hungry for fruit. I don't wash and I just.

David drew them back and then you.

Get rabies and then I don't feel great. Okay. So are you intrigued by the fijoa so far?

It sounds good. Okay. I really like you said it in the doc nuances of strawberries, pineapples, kiwis, apples and mint. That's a lot of flavor. Yet it's also called the guava.

Yeah, the pineapple guava is the american name. I wouldn't liken it to a guava. I mean, for me the kiwi fruit is just so part of being a New Zealander. They're seasonal, so they're not all year round, but a certain time of the year. They are just everywhere. They're falling from the sky off these trees. And you just wait, kiwis.

Are you calling this a kiwi fruit?

No. Did I call it kiwi just then?

Yeah.

Oh, I meant, oh, my God.

Because earlier when you said the kiwi fruit is your favorite, you meant a kiwi.

I meant a kiwi fruit.

Okay. Not a fijoa.

No, we don't call them. So in New Zealand we call them kiwi fruit. We don't call them kiwis.

Right.

Because it's confusing because we have a people and a God. So, yeah, we have to say kiwi fruit.

Right.

Just so it's clear that what we're eating. Yeah. Fijoas are falling from the sky all the time.

So are fijoas. How do they rank in your favorite, what are your top ten favorite fruits?

I'd say they're tied with the passion fruit. And then I go into all the berries. Like, I love blueberries. I love boys and berries. I love blackberries. And then I'll get into pineapple melons, that kind of thing.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. Melons. Not for me. Cantaloupe? No, thanks. Honeydew? No, thanks.

What's honey? I haven't had honeydew.

Oh, it's.

Is that a type of melon?

It's a type of melon. It's, like greenish. I think it tastes just fine. Cantaloupe? Not for me. Do you know about the cantaloupe?

No. I'm nodding like I do, but I'm like, what is it?

I wonder if you'd like the cantaloupe. Okay.

Antelope.

Yeah, it sure does. It is with a C can envelope.

Oh, yeah, I've seen them.

Yeah. I've never chopped into one, but see, they require chopping. And, like the mango. I love a mango. But you have to ding, ding, ding. India. They have lots of mangoes there. But you have to cut it. It's hard to cut.

Yeah. Some of the prep is hard. I mean, pineapples are very intimidating. To chop them up.

Exactly.

Yeah, stuff like that.

And then the strawberries have little hats that you have to then throw away. Oh, God. Does that fijoa hat have to be thrown away?

Okay, so you can eat a fijoa in a variety of ways. You can chop it in half with a knife and then you just get a spoon and you spoon out the content.

You can't eat the exterior.

Some people do. So the other way of eating it is you can eat the exterior. I would never in a million years. Eat the exterior.

Really?

Some people do. And it's such a tart skin. It's not for me, what I do, though. I will bite through it to have. Instead of getting a knife to chop it, I'll chop it with my mouth.

Okay.

And then I'll suck out the insides and get my tongue in there. You just clean it out with your tongue. It's the best.

Wow. Okay, I'm intrigued.

Okay. Are you ready to learn some more.

About the features about the fake fruit?

We're not done. Okay. Onwards.

So they're native to Uruguay and the three southernmost states of Brazil and a little tiny corner of Argentina.

I thought that maybe the Fijo was a New Zealand thing. But of course, as Kate explained, other places had the fruit before us.

I later discovered that Colombians are obsessed with it, even though it's not native to Colombia. Colombians from the Andes and people from Georgia. The country of Georgia, not the state of Georgia and Azerbaijan, really loved them.

I've been thinking more about wifey joas. This wonderful fruit hadn't taken off in America, and I remembered something else Kader told me. We were talking about the distinctive smell of the fruit. It's a good smell, and maybe a smell I'd smelled somewhere else, too.

So the main component of the Fijoa smell is a compound called methylbenzoate, which is really mostly only found in such concentration in Fijoas. And apparently also when cocaine meets air in certain circumstances, like humid circumstances, it can combine to form methyl benzoate. So airport sniffer dogs have been trained to recognize that smell, to detect the presence of cocaine. So maybe don't bring heaps of Fijos back in your luggage when you're getting back into LA airport.

Maybe that's the real reason the Fijio vodka never got FDA approval. They thought it was just full of cocaine. I was going to bring some Fijios back for Monica and Rob, but this is me running scared. I'm getting a fresh visa, and I don't really want to get into an argument with customs about why my bag stinks of coke. While researching the Fijoa, I joined a few Facebook groups. One simply called Fijoa and had 111,000 followers. Most of them seemed to be from New Zealand. I also joined a page called the Fijoa Appreciation group, and this had a more international flavor. There I stumbled on Rebecca, a rare American who loves the Fijoa as much as me. She told me she lives in San Jose and has a blog called the Wonderful Fijoa.

I live in San Jose, California, which is in Silicon Valley. But before it was Silicon Valley, it was known as the Valley of Hearts delight. The Santa Clara Valley, a major fruit growing region historically since the 19th century. So a lot of people have fruit trees. And my boyfriend and I moved into a house in San Jose about 15 years ago and it had this big old tree in the back that we didn't pay much attention to. And then around September, October, it started dropping all these interesting green fruit. I actually did Google image search green fruits, and then I saw the fruit and I said, oh, that's the fruit.

Rebecca had discovered the fijoa and she and her husband, they've never looked back.

We were like, can we eat these? Are they toxic? And started eating some of them and it was like, wow, these are really good.

I really recommend reading Rebecca's blog, Fijourrecipes WordPress.com. She's got a load of recipes there and a really comprehensive history of the fruits rise and fall in California.

When the fijoa was first introduced in California in the early 19 hundreds, it was promoted as the next avocado, according to one article I found from 1915, and it was planted widely and then people gave up because the fruit just didn't do as well. And I think the reason is the climate in California is not conducive to really great Fijoa is in a lot of areas, it's too hot and too dry. So the tree was planted with a lot of excitement, and then the farmers just found it wasn't selling that well, so they didn't continue.

Look, I live in hope that one day the Fija will take off in America and that I won't have to come all the way back to New Zealand to eat it. Rebecca hopes for the sunnier future, too. Okay. You ought to pitch the fijoa to an American that's never had one before. They're like, I don't need a new fruit. I've got all the fruit I need in my life. What's your pitch? To sell the fijoa to someone's heart and soul.

This is a really good, really special fruit, like no other fruit you've tasted. Give it a try. You'll like it. I'd never met a person who didn't like it after they tried it.

She's pretty much right, except she hasn't met my dad, Alastair Farrier. And as this episode wraps up, and in the pursuit of journalistic integrity, I have to add that not everyone here likes the Fijoa. My dad. Well, I think he hates them, which he explains to me in his typically reserved New Zealand way. No, I don't have no, David. No, Fijoas are not. They're all right. They're all right in their time. I love Fijoas. They're one of my favorite fruits. You can't get them in America. Well, that's unfortunate. You've got plenty of other fruits you can eat, though, if you don't like Fijos. What's your favorite fruit?

Tamarillos.

Tamarillo is very nice. Yeah. What is it that you don't like about the Fiji? Unusual flavor. All right. If you're desperate. Yeah. Salister, that was.

Oh, I love when your parents join us for this show.

Yeah. They get so visibly uncomfortable. If ever I bring a recording device out, I'm sure. And just very reserved. You can force things out of them. And that was my dad just being. He hates Fiji so much.

It was such a dad vibe. Dads are so dad like. They have. How does it print? I don't know.

Time. They age like a fine wine or something.

They age in the exact same way, apparently. Every single one. Okay. But the way he spoke about it being fine, if you have to, is how I feel about apples.

Right? You're like, I don't hate them, but it's like, oh, there's nothing else.

If my blood sugar is plummeting, I will. I don't hate it. I just never want it.

You're stuck on an island, there's all of a sudden you're like, oh, I guess I'll have an apple today. Nothing. I have better options.

Yeah, that's how I feel. But while I was listening to that, it did remind me that though I don't love fruit or I don't buy it, I love a fruit pie.

I'll pop it in a pie. That's american. Pop it in a pie.

Pop it in a pie.

Yum, yum, yum.

Yeah. Because when she said made the distinction, it was Georgia the country, not Georgia the state. That was obvious to me because I would have known about it if it was Georgia the state. But Georgia the state is known for peaches. Peach state. And I do love, and at first I was like, I don't like peaches, but I love a peach pie.

I've never had a peach pie.

I can make you a peach pie.

That you do. A good peach pie.

I can make a peach galette. It's a free form.

Such authority. No, this is good because I want to do another episode about America's fruit pie obsession.

You think that's american?

Yeah. We've got House of pies near us.

Yeah.

I'm amazed at all the fruit pies they have here and things like Key. We've talked about this in the Florida episode, key lime pie. Pecan pies.

Well, that's enough pie, but yeah. Wait, what kind of pies do you have?

We have meat pies. They just put meat in them. We put cow in our pies and some cheese and steaks and stuff. And that's our pie. So if you say, in New Zealand, can we go and get a pie? No one would think fruit, you think.

Meat, and you'd think savory.

Always, every time.

Wow.

So that's a cultural thing that I want to get into. And I want to know why all these different states have these different pies that they're proud of.

Okay. This.

I had no idea that your thing was peach pies in Georgia. And I'd love to know why. Obviously, you got a lot of peaches, but where do you get the best peach pie? Where do I get the best pecan? I know it's not fruit, but you love your pie.

Is also very southern. Southern delicacy pie.

Okay.

I've never tried to make that one. I don't know. I could try, but I'm going to probably just contribute a peach.

Can you make one of every type of american pie? And we can decipher them. There'd be hundreds of them. Fija pie.

Do you think there's such a thing? Should I look it up?

Just see if there's a fija pie.

Okay.

It's hard to spell f e I J o a for anyone that sing along. Mini fijoa apple pie.

It's all fijoa and apple.

Yeah. Why is everyone popping your nightmare fruit in the apple?

Monica's like, actually, I love an apple pie so much.

You said pop it in a. Yeah. So I think what you need, you need the savory with the fruit and that makes you give.

It's sweet. You know, our fruit pies are sweet.

It's a dessert, of course. Even the pastry is a bit sweet, isn't it?

Yeah. Has sugar.

I've noticed that with your bread in America as well. It's always a bit sweet.

Really.

It tastes a little bit sweeter than New Zealand bread. I've noticed. I think there's a little bit of extra sugar in.

Oh, my God.

Maybe bread's another thing.

We love sugar here, which is good.

Because I love sugar. I hear it's not great. It's not great for you, but, yeah, I do really love. So, yeah, I wanted to educate you about the Fijoa. Anyone out there listening in America, look for the pineapple guava. That's what I'm talking about. See if you like it. It's funny you raised this earlier, the fact that they're being marketed like an avocado. I could say they're worlds apart. I think all they're saying is maybe someone that would buy an avocado might also be tempted to get the fijo because they want something.

It's like a character assessment, maybe like cool millennial type.

Yeah, maybe there's an alternate reality where everyone in LA, the hipsters, are all eating fijoas instead of the avocado toast. They couldn't be further apart, but get one. The way it is like an avocado is you want to feel it and it wants to be soft, but not too soft, because there's nothing worse than an overripe fijoa. It can be like the banana, it can be the fruit fly. If there's fruit flies buzing around it. Oh, put it back.

It does sound like it would really attract some fruit flies. But can it be under ripe? Can it be like the avocado where it's like you can't even bite into?

It's just very tart, so I wouldn't rush into it. You want one that's just at the perfect level of ripe and that's why it never took off in America, because I think they just go off so quickly. You've got, like a window. Once it's off the tree, you've got this window where it's this perfect food. Either side of it, no go.

Okay, well, maybe I'll go to the Hollywood farmers market. That's a very good farmers market on Sundays.

Yeah, okay, you should.

That would be the place. If it's going to be here in.

This country this year, we're going to find one.

Yeah, I want to.

You're going to consume it and you're going to tell me where it sits when you compare it to the apple. And I hope you like it more than a fucking apple. You fucking hate apples.

It'll not go well.

All right.

This was very fun.

I would say you have become more kiwi.

Have I?

You know, you never knew about the fija.

Actually, you're right.

And now you do. And if you're in New Zealand, you'll be like, where can I get a fija? Yum, yum.

You're right. And you'll be like, oh, you know about.

You'll be like, oh, they'll welcome you with open arms. I become slightly more american because I learned about your love of the fruit pie.

Okay, if we do a fruit pie episode, I have two friends, Lizzie and Joe, incredible friends. We, as a team, as a trio, love pie. And they did pie for their dessert, for their wedding cake.

Oh, wow. Oh, that's how much they love it.

Yeah.

Okay, great. Well, let's talk to them.

Well, they did a pie tasting. They got little pies from all over the city, and I went to help with the tasting, so I got to.

Try all the pies to find out what they were going to have for the wedding. That's such a good gig.

It was so fun.

Well, maybe we round up them or maybe we just go to a house of pies or something like that and just get like a bunch of slices and we just try them all.

Yeah.

Okay. Is good.

Okay. All right.

Happy America. Happy fijo. Happy America. Happy flight this first. All right, see ya.