Hello there. Hi. Okay, you've been traveling.

It's true. Not as exciting as India, but I went to Seattle for 24 hours.

Yes.

I had a plane event. Oh my God. A romantic plane event. Well, actually, it was perfect because... Okay, so it was very romantic It's a comedy moment. I'm at the gate and I see this guy and we both double take. But then I go back to sit at my seat and I'm with my camera man, Dean, who's my age and cute. I'm like, Oh, this guy's going to think this guy's my boyfriend or my husband. Sure, of course. And so this isn't going to happen. Not that I thought he was going to come up to me, but I was like, Okay, well, now it's certainly not.

So do you make gross faces at Dean? Yes, I was. It was just like, You're so annoyed. That's funny.

I I did stand and it was on my phone a lot. We're work friends.

We're not together.

We're not together. Then I fly a lot, so I get upgraded to comfort plus, and Dean didn't. Of course, we joke about it all the time. I'm like, Bye. When I get called and he has to stay behind. Then I was like, Oh, this guy now probably knows we're not. I mean, maybe... Would you? Okay, wait. If you're in a relationship and your partner gets upgraded, do you take the upgrade or do you stay behind? If I get upgraded? Yeah. If you get upgraded, but your partner doesn't, what the fuck?

I would stay behind. Wow. Yeah. Even if it's- Is it a trip to India? Then no. Sorry. Every man for himself. Right.

If you're mad at the person, it's inappropriate. You should want them to sleep instead of being stuck in economy. But yeah, it's a tough... It's interesting. Or I think probably the chivalrous thing to do if you're the guy is to give the upgrade. If your boyfriend takes the upgrade, but you're left behind.

Yeah, that's rough. I think everyone has to stay behind. Oh, okay.

All the time.

I think so. I mean, even if I'm traveling with a friend and we're booked together, and then if one person got an upgrade, I would No, you have to take it. If you're friends- I guess it depends on the circumstance.

I mean, you have to be like... Your attitude is more important than... If you act like, God, this sucks.

I mean, I don't really know what I'm saying because I I definitely... When I fly with friends, often I fly in first class. Separate. Yeah. I guess I just imagine we both have the same tickets. We're next to each other. If you're next to each other and then you get an upgrade and you're planning on hanging out the whole flight, it's a bummer to ditch. It depends on where you're going, how long the flight is. That's right.

If the upgrade to first class is a smaller flight, it's like, Okay, let's just... But then I think you can also share in the benefit fits of business class by bringing them snacks and bringing them drinks. I'm sure you're not allowed, but poured a lot of the stuff and then share so that there's class solidarity.

Okay, so now we're saying if me and you are ever traveling and this happens, we're allowed to take the upgrade. Yes.

And by were, you, you're definitely... But yes, I would be upset if you didn't. That would be my position. I don't need to hang out with people on flights. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm watching my movies. I'm reading my books. I mean, we're not like 11. We can hang out when we get off the flight. It's true. Flying sucks. If you have the ability to have a better experience, do it. Okay, so I'm glad we sorted that out. Hashed that out. Okay, so then I go to my seat, and then I'm looking for a plug for my phone because it's out of power. I can't find... There's only a plug in the middle seat, not under my seat. I'm rustling around. And then who do I see sit right in the aisle? Oh, my My boyfriend. What's he look like? My gay boyfriend. He's gay? No, gay.

Oh, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, R-age man.

He's probably like, 40, but very spry and athletic and hot. Like, very, very... But also, seems like a good person guy. Not like a hot, you're an asshole. Hot, you would stay back with me if you're that great guy. Wow. Okay. Those are the vibes. You got a lot from that. Yeah. But also, I was right. Everything I assumed about him... Well, not everything. Anyway, he sits down. Then I'm like, Wow, how funny. But then I'm like, Oh, but there's going to be a person between us. So there goes my chance. But then I'm truly struggling with this plug situation. And so I look up to him and I'm like, Am I nuts? Is there no plug? Is there one under you? Is it just not under my seat? And then he was You're not crazy, which I love that he validated.

That was his opening line.

That was his opening line. You love that. Which we love when men tell us we're not crazy. It's huge. And then, even better, he was like, If the thing doesn't work or someone comes and sits down, I always travel with the battery pack and you can use it. So he's prepared.

But could be controlling.

Oh, interesting. Why? Because he wants his phone to be charged?

He's just like, has a lot of his ducks in a row. Oh, in a good Look, so far, so good, but it could lean. I'm just saying. I wonder if he's a Virgo. Did you get his birthday? I did.

He is a Pisces, which was shocking to me because men who are Pisces, we as a society know what that can lead to. I'm a female Pisces. We're not. But a guy, it's known. Really? That men who are Pisces can be, if they haven't gone to therapy, they can use their emotions for- Danger. Yes, danger. I'm obviously generalizing, but I do have PTSD.

But do Pisces tend to get along with other Pisces? Are they compatible?

Yeah. My mom is a Pisces. I do have a lot. I do know a lot of Pisces. I think we're compatible. I have never found that romantically, it's a good match because I need someone who's not- Grounded. Yeah, exactly.

As we've talked about.

Then I'm sitting there and then we're both on our phones. But I'm like, this guy wants to talk to me. I know. I just could tell. Then no one sits in the middle seat.

That's meant to be... This is a Me cute. Oh, my God. I love meet cute.

Then it got even more meet cuty where they come around with the snacks, and in Comfort Plus, they have a tray now of snacks so you can pick one out with your own hands instead of them handing it to you like you're in to take care. And so, the flight attendant approaches us with the snacks. I'm barely touching the package of pistachios, and the entire snack tray falls to the ground. Oh, my God. And then there's snacks like 30 to 40 to 50. Packages of just from everything, from pistachios to chips to chocolate bars. And then we're picking them up, our hands touch.

Oh, my God.

Did you do it on purpose? No. Tell us the truth. Look, I knew that maybe our hands were going to touch. I didn't, I didn't shy away. And then we're laughing, and I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm such a ditz.

Oh, God. Liz.

Did you use that word ditz? I didn't say dits. Okay. No. It just was very romantic. Connie was like, Oh, my God, this thing happened. Then he's like, Oh, it could have happened to anybody. We'll probably find some snacks under our seats mid-flight. It'll be great. Then we just start talking, and we talked for the entire flight, nonstop. Really? Two and a half hours.

Wait, this was going or coming back home?

Coming back.

Okay. So he lives here?

There's a moment where we're talking and I'm like, I see a photo of a child on his screen saver.

Could be a nephew or a niece.

The screen saver tells you more about a man than if he has a ring on his finger, honestly. If it's a dog, you're good. He's definitely not married.

What's on your phone screen? It's a boy's.

Oh, it is. Kids, right? Or their wife or partner.

I feel like it's a little weird if you have just a picture of your wife, unless it's a two of you together. If it's just plain your wife, I find that weird. I agree. I don't think I've ever had a photo of just Natalie. Just Natalie is your screen.

Oh, really? I love it. What? That's so sweet. Oh, you think that that is overcompensating or something?

I think that's way too much. It's like, weirdly attached. Yeah. Wait, what do you mean? I possess it. That feels odd. That feels so odd to me.

Oh, it's true that if I did it with my boyfriend, it'd be weird.

Yeah, if the background of your phone was just your boyfriend. It's weird. A picture of your boyfriend.

Unless it's like a gloopy- The gay boyfriend.

My gay boyfriend. It can be your gay boyfriend, but it can't be your gay boyfriend. That's the rule.

Okay, got it. Phone backgrounds, I think if it's your significant other, if they're doing a stupid face or it's a silly photo, I think it works.

Oh, even then? I don't know. But the both of you is- Both of you make sense to me. That's like a picture.

But then you're on your own screen.

But it's like a picture of your relationship. I would have a picture of like... I mean, I don't because I have... What's it called? Pantone. Thank you. I have Pantone, Color of the Year. But I would I don't have a picture of me and my pod girlfriends together, like as just a happy memory picture. But I wouldn't have a picture of just them.

Interesting. I've only had a photo of another person. Who? My dad and my niece.

Okay, that makes sense, though. Family, to me, is so different. Those are critical people. I don't know why. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't think so.

I see your point.

If I had a picture of my friend on my phone and then he saw it, he'd be like, Why am I in your background? Yeah, solo. I could see Dax and Aaron having that as his background. I could see him having a picture of just Aaron, but that's his own funny...

I don't know. God, okay. What if your partner has a photo of you and then you have a photo of someone else? Does that create conflict?

Yeah, it's weird.

Yeah, it's weird. So you have to be on the same page, maybe.

I think just have pictures of your kids or Pantone. Okay. These are the options. Wait, what's on your phone?

I have a funny picture, yeah. I usually do. I had R. B. G. Before things got complicated with my relationship with her post-death. But no, I like funny things. I've seen some people put a photo of themselves when they were little. Oh, that's fun. I've seen that as a remember your inner child thing.

Okay, so the gay boyfriend had some kids on. Yeah.

One of the first things he talks about, I'm like, Are you traveling for work? He's like, I work in Seattle for a company that creates device devices so that we can help people who need heart surgery. And my mom- Oh, my God. Like, two days before went into that surgery, and he creates a device which would have avoided her surgery. It's like a CT scan that allows doctors to be able to not have to put their patients in a catheter and everything. And he was super passionate about it.

This is a meet cue. This is so sim.

It was very, very sim. But then I see the kid. He's being also He's not being super forward and like...

But he had just met you like 15 minutes ago.

It's true. And we're on an airplane, which I've heard men now because I asked Dean afterwards. He was like, I would never talk to a woman on it. I just assume that women don't want to be talked to on airplanes. That's fair. That's a safe assumption. Anyway, talking about this thing, and I'm like, Oh, my God. My mom had it. And he was super interested in giving me advice for my mom. But then, yeah, I see the kid. And so at some point, he says, I lived in Indiana. I'm like, Why did you live in Indiana? He's like, Well, my ex-wife. Okay. And so that's a positive. That is Because maybe he has a new one, but chances are there's no new one. When men mention their exes, it usually means that they're not in a relationship. I think as a rule. It's a good way to tell if someone is available or single-ish.

That's interesting.

Yeah. And so then he's divorced, has two kids. We're going into it. His astrology, what's it like being a dad? But as the flight is progressing, we are both realizing this is a logistical impossibility. Why? First of all, he was like, How often do you come and travel to Seattle? I was like, Never. This is my first and last. This is my first and last. It's close, though. I know, but he has two kids. He has joint custody. When he has his kids on the weekends, he's spending time with them, and then he travels for work, saving people's hearts. It was so interesting because I could just tell there was definitely energy between us. But at the very end, I could just tell that we both were like, So great meeting you. Oh, wow. And we didn't exchange phone numbers.

Then that's a beautiful- It was. Capsule moment.

Exactly. I am happy with the way that it happened.

But you might... Okay, it's just the beginning. Because that's how meet cutes work. It's too boring of a story if that just was the end and you guys are together now. Oh, yeah. There's going to be multiple parts. He's probably going to Austin. There's so many hearts in Austin that needs saving.

I do know the I don't want to tell you staying at, Beverly Hills. No, I won't do that. I won't do that. I won't go around Beverly Hills. Also, again, it had me thinking because this is happening more and more. I'm noticing it a little bit as a little trend for my life. If we're dating people who are our age, you're slightly older. Chances are they have been in a long term relationship or they were married. But if there's kids, it does ground someone in a city and it really limits- It's non-negotiable.

Except, okay, let me just paint a picture. To Lulu. I don't want to wish any ill on the wife, okay? Because she's probably great. But let's say... Okay, I know. This is good for everyone. The wife gets a job in Los Angeles, and it's a really important job. Huge for her career. Big step up. She has a new podcast. She can't say no. And your gateboy friend is really nice and wants the best for her. So he says, We're all moving to Los Angeles.

Wow.

And he also moves. And then where are you going to meet?

The Delta Lounge.

No, I know you want that so bad. I do.

I really do. I feel like that's where it's going to happen.

No, it's not at the Delta Lounge because you're going to run into him here and it'll be like, Wait, aren't you in Seattle? And then he's like, No, actually, I moved. What part of the city do you live in? Oh, I live right down to... Oh, my God. I live in that building.

Okay, tiny problem.

Oh, you don't like that.

No, I love this story for us. The only issue is that his ex-wife does not work.

Yet. That's true. It's her first job in her whole life. She has to take it.

Okay, I love this.

I don't want you to wait for him, but let's not rule him out. I know.

It was nice that we were both realistic, but I like the idea that, I mean, that's everything everywhere, right? There's always multiple outcomes that we don't even know are going to happen.

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Do you want to hear a Everything Everywhere All At Once, RIP in the Time Space Continuum happened while we were in India? Oh. Dax, me, and one of the members from Gates Ventures were at lunch. And this couple comes in. This Indian couple comes in with this little girl. She was probably three or four-ish. She was so cute. She had these huge eyes. And she walks in really confident. She sits in her chair. It's this tall, big grown-up chair, and she's just sitting in it with her parents eating food. And her back was to us. We were staring at her because she was so cute. And then she turned to look at us and she was like, Hi, Dax. And then turned back around. What? She didn't speak English. What? It sounded like we all separately were like, Did she just say, Hi, Dax? And then I realized it was me in another realm, in another Another life. Me, and I knew Dax.

What was she wearing? Prada pants? A tiny little Prada pants.

She had a little microphone with her. It was a rip.

Did she have short legs?

She was like three or four. She did. She would have loved if she had short legs, if she was me because I wanted short legs. That's right. That wasn't everything ever.

We're all at once. Was that the first time that you saw yourself in someone or something? I think Have you? I've only seen other people in other people. Okay. My Task Rabbit was my grandfather. Wait.

I want to make fun of you, but I also... Kristen's dog, Barb, who really creeped me out. I did think part of my grandpa was in her, and he was still alive at the time, but still something weird happened where some of him was in her. She would just come up and stare me, but she only had one eye.

Yes, I've seen photos of Barb.

I hated it, but I had a weird That's a weird vibe that my grandpa was in there. Okay, so your task rabbit was your grandpa? Well, yes. Did it look like your grandpa?

No, not at all. He came over. He didn't speak English, so we were using this app to speak.

What was his ethnicity?

Ukrainian. Okay. So my grandparents are Hungarian. It's not the same. He was so gentle and so kind. Me and my roommate, the amount of things that we brought him in to do, and he goes, These are not the screws. He'll go out to Home Depot and buy what we need and then come back. He He is so sweet. And the first time I met him, in the first five minutes, I didn't think anything of him. But there was this moment where we were looking each other's eyes and using the app to speak. And I started tearing up. My grandfather did do construction. When he moved to Montreal, he obviously wasn't a Task Rabbit, but I feel like he would have been in this era, and he would have used an app to communicate in Hungarian. Anyway, so I feel very emotionally connected to him. Every time he comes out, I'll give him gifts. Like, weird chocolate. Like, for Valentine's Day, I gave him like, and I was like, Is this?

Oh, no.

But, you know. But no.

But does he think you are in love with him?

I don't think so.

Chocolates on Valentine's Day is pretty romantic.

But he came around that time, and he went and got a screw for me. Thank you for my screw. Thank you for my screw. Yeah, there is some definitely...

Some sexual undertones.

But, that's it, I think. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in an animal. That's cool, though.

I think it's nice to believe that about the task rabbit.

What do you think that is, though? That little girl in India. What do you think that...

I think she said something in Hindi. If I'm being realistic and practical about it, yeah, she just said a word or some syllables of words that sounded exactly like and just happened to be like such a crazy coincidence. But it's fun to believe that she's me in another life and that your grandpa is in your Task Rabbit. And I found you. There's something beautiful about people finding each other again. It's nice. I know.

It's so special. Do you have an inkling of you in a past life? Or like, there's a version of you that's another race, another gender?

Not really. I've never felt connected. I don't think. I mean, there's definitely... There's jobs and things that I feel I would have been good at. There are routes in life I could have taken that I didn't take, but I don't feel like there's another in the world that I'm doing that necessarily.

What are the jobs? What would you do?

I feel like I could be a psychologist. You could. I enjoy that. So that would be a job that I would have enjoyed doing. An orna. I would love to be an orna.

You are. We've talked about this. It's why dating us is, you know. Too hard. It's hard because we're just like, you'll end up sharing a lot more than you probably want to share.

Yeah. You get people to share stuff that's maybe they didn't want.

It happened with my gay boyfriend, obviously. What did he tell you? He was like, again, Oh, I'm a Pisces. Sorry to bring it back to him. You know, it's just a big part of my life right now. He's just your boyfriend. But yeah, he's like, I'm a Pisces. And I was like, Oh, are you a prototyical Pisces? And he's like, Yeah. It's like water. I'm really calm. I was like, That's not fucking Pisces, man.

Yeah, Pisces are not calm. No.

That's the thing. Rough waters. Yes. Water signs in general do not equate being even keel. And so I was like, Actually, Pisces are typically more emotional. And he was like, Oh, I'm definitely not that. And I was like, Oh, how come? And then he goes into like, his father was Japanese, very reserved. And so he never talked about his feelings. And he had a female twin sister. But she also never shared... Even though she was a girl, they just grew up in a household where everyone was keeping things under wraps. And then I was like, So your rising sign is who you appear, and your sign sign is who you actually are. So maybe actually you are very emotional. It's just that's not how you present. And he was like, Oh.

And then he started crying?

He didn't cry, but he was like, I'm going to be thinking about that for a really long time. He was like, That's actually really true.

What's his rising?

He would never know. I mean, he was the least Pisces man I've ever met. He was very matter of fact. He didn't come off as a Pisces. I mean, he's born on February 29th.

Oh, my God. Leepley?

Exactly.

So limited it is. He's so limited. He's like 10 or 11. Oh, my God. I love that.

I know. It would have been- It's not over yet. It's not over yet. I don't think it's over yet. Wait, do you have something with someone that you think it's not over yet?

Oh, that's a good question. There is one person... No, there's two people on Earth. One is such a stretch. There was never a relationship with this person. I just liked this person a lot. They were in a relationship. This was many, many years ago. I think about him enough in life that I wonder if that will ever come back around. I mean, it's probably married.

Half of them don't work out.

And I don't I don't follow him on Instagram right now. I don't know what's going on. No.

How do you have the willpower to think about someone and then know that you have access to a channel that is a portal into a lot of your lives and not go for it?

I like keeping him- Mysteria.

Yeah.

I don't need to know too much about him. I think that might ruin it. I like the place he holds. There's one other person who I had more of an actual connection to who I I sometimes wonder. But also, when I really think about him, I don't.

It's like a fantasy more than an actual.

It's more like, Oh, fuck. Should I have tried harder?

Oh, I hate that.

But then no. When I really sit with it, it's like, Oh, no. He was a good person for me.

Why do we do that?

Well, it's hard when people are good. It really is. It's hard when people are nice and good and seemingly a great partner. Then you second guess when you're out of that relationship because you're like, Well, what the fuck am I hoping for? But you're hoping for a special chemistry. And just because people are great doesn't mean you have that.

I am so guilty of that. I want to know more about why we do that. I guess it's like, okay, you're telling yourself a story. It's giving you an illusion of control, probably to be like, well, if I'd done this differently, then this would be... And it's like, no. But my mind will go to that a lot. And I'm like, can I break that pathway and just think about something else? Okay, if there was a device- Maybe your gay boyfriend will invent it. I always hear gay now.

Maybe your gay boyfriend or my gay boyfriend will invent it. Jess. He's not so much an inventor, but that's okay.

Okay, what if you had a device? Because this happened on Love is Blind. They gave each other bracelets when they thought about the other person, it would buzz. If you had a device that allowed you to know whenever someone is thinking about you, would you want it? No. No. No?

Absolutely not. You what?

Am I crazy? I mean, not ever. Okay, look, I would get annoyed. But for a day, I would love it. No.

I wouldn't get annoyed. I would get paranoid if it wasn't going off. It would have such an impact on my self esteem if it wasn't happening.

It would have a hold on you.

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

Oh, yeah. If you go a day and you're like, no one- No one thought about me all day. But that's impossible. That's the thing. I don't know. I think about you every day. At least. Again, we think about a lot We don't realize how many thoughts are going through our mind. Honestly, it would be buzzing all the time.

It's like likes. It would become a whole thing where you're like, Five buzzes today, and then the next day, oh my gosh, only two buzzes. Those other people decided to stop. I think it would become bad, psychologically.

Like a black mirror. Wow, we shouldn't be talking about this because someone's going to make it.

Wait, did they make it on Love is Blind?

Well, it's not reading your mind. He will touch it, and then it buzzes her. And then what's weird is that they got to other people or she did, and they're still wearing it. I'm like, what? Love is Blind is nuts. It's a wild ride. But I mean, it's a cute gift, not to someone who's engaged to someone else. But if you're in a long distance thing or you're on a reality show where you can't see each other.

But don't you also think, let's say you have that with your gay boyfriend, okay? And you guys are actually together. This is once everyone moved to Los Angeles. Then he goes on a trip for his hearts. And you've been together like a year and a half now. It's not new. Are you going to be like, Oh, fuck. I have to set an alarm reminder to send it to him because he's going to be upset if I don't send it. And now it's an obligation that I always have to send the little ding. I think this is too complex.

It can get dicey. But then if you're in a fight and then you get a little buzz.

And you think, well, can you just send a text?

I guess you can, but the little buzz is cuter. It's a way to break that. I love- Yeah, that's true. Ways to break fights that are funny.

What's your best way?

Farting? If you can time that out, where that happens. God, that's so great. Farts can make everything better.

Yeah, they bring a levity. Or, though, it can be aggressive. Like, oh, my God, we're in the middle of something so serious, and you've decided to fart right now? Yeah, I could see getting pissed about that.

I wonder if any divorces have hinged on a fart.

I think so.

There's no way it hasn't. I'm not saying it's happened a a lot, but it has happened.

Well, I know. Okay, I know a couple, and one of the members farts a lot, mainly at night. And the other member is like, Stop. It's disrespectful because the other person just doesn't give a fuck, and it smells, and is annoying, and loud, and this person has to just sit in this other person's stink, and it can feel disrespectful or just not conscientious. Just go into the other room You don't even care that I have to sit in your stink.

But it's happening while he's sleeping?

No, I think they're awake.

So he's doing it like, right- Yeah, he just doesn't care. And the covers, it's like staying there.

I think a lot of people do that. Really?

We've talked about this, but I've never gone to a point... Well, not never. Two out of three. One relationship where he would fire all the time, and it was just funny and like...

Did it smell?

No. And he would go to another... He wouldn't do it in my face. He would be kind about it. You're right.

It's a respect thing. Yes. There's respect involved.

Yeah.

Okay. I feel like we should get into some questions, but I did want to bring up one thing, just because it's on my mind, because I read it this morning. So David Farrier, he has a newsletter like you do. And did you read his Web worm today? He wrote this story of his friend from a long time ago, his friend in New Zealand, or someone he worked with's roommate killed their neighbor.

Oh.

And he tells this vague recollection of what happened.

And David knew? Yeah.

I guess his friend was at their apartment. Multiple people lived there, and one of them came in at like, midnight, shaved his beard, and then washed, did laundry. But if you don't know, it's like, it could be anything. Who cares? Yeah. And then some sirens came. And for a week, no one knew anything. But they were, yeah, the neighbor was murdered and somebody else was stabbed. And the roommate, they're watching TV together for this week. Isn't this scurifying? Oh, my God. And then he got arrested. I won't spoil, but people should read this. It's really... I don't know how I could go on trusting anyone ever again.

Was this roommate a weird guy?

I think he was nice enough. But in the web worm, he talks a little bit about some of his idiosyncrasies, and it is a little... It's only in retrospect, Everyone has little weirdo things.

And why did he kill the neighbor? We don't know. They just got into an argument?

No, I think the neighbor often had parties, and he hated the noise.

The guy who killed him? Yeah. Oh, my God. I know. I mean, sometimes I get really annoyed at noise, and I feel like I want to kill someone, but I don't. Yeah, well, don't do it.

Isn't that scary?

It's very scary. Do you ever think... Okay, so we've talked about this.

About killing?

No.

I I will be honest. I've never in my life had the inclination to kill.

I've never plotted a murder or thought about it as a solution to any of my problems. But so many people get murdered that I think murderers don't think that they're going to be murderers. Don't you think? Don't you think they're just like us?

No. It depends, I guess, on the type of crime or the situation or what happens. But often no. I mean, often people are psychopaths or sociopaths. And they might not know that they're going to murder, but they're not like us. Then some people may find themselves in a situation. They might be more like us of where they do it, but that maybe feels more like self-defense or something. Right. Or protecting a kid or something like that. But no, I don't think people who murder out of anger. I don't know, actually.

Okay. If I came to you and I was like, I accidentally killed this guy.

And would you- Turn you in?

How would you react? Would you just be like, You're fine? Because I feel like that's what I would do. I would be that idiot. He, you know- He deserved it. He deserved... It's not your fault. I would just try and help my friend. If my friend is you. I know you're not a sociopath. I know you're not a bad person. And genuinely, you're going... You murdered someone. That's tough. Being murdered is hard, but also murdering is- It's not great. That's not a great place to be.

I think I would say, Okay, tell me what happened. Tell me everything that happened. Then I guess we'd come up with some a game plan. Okay, here's the truth. If I thought you had gone crazy or like something was going on mentally with you, where you were at this point, like a threat to others, I would turn you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which probably doesn't feel good to hear. But if you're a threat to others, I have to. If you just killed your gay boyfriend in the heat of the moment because it was too passionate, or if he was trying to hurt you or something, that's It's not fine, but let's figure this out. Although, I don't know what would we do if you killed someone. Will we just try to keep it quiet or would we go to the police and say, Hey, I was attacked? I almost think it's better to say, I was attacked and in self defense, I did... Or is that naive?

Well, data shows that women who are incarcerated, I think it's literally for murder, like 90% of them were in self defense. That's where I'm also like, that's not safe. She If she's not white, if she's like, it's just like there's so many vulnerabilities. But that's a good question. Everything I would do, even your David story of shaving your beard and doing the laundry, I feel like I just know that from movies. I would just do what they do in movies. I don't know what you're supposed to do. Hide the evidence, clean the blood.

But then it's like you're going to get caught. So that's why I wonder if going at it head on is better because then you seem, you definitely seem super guilty if you get caught. Yeah. If you say, I was being attacked. This happened. Yeah.

How can you hide murder?

Exactly.

Did you ever watch Search Party? It's all about that.

No, I didn't.

It's just there's so many, of all the time.

Too many things.

It's just mess-wise.

Try not to.

Yeah. If you can avoid it. Try not to murder.

Okay. Well, on that note, let's do a couple questions. Yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't because that will put us in a sticky situation.

When I watch Succession, and there's not to... Whatever. People haven't watched it. It's your problem. Yeah, it's your problem. But you feel for Kendall, that he killed a guy.

But do you think that's the same? He was culpable, but it was an accident. That's true. Okay, so if you came to me and you were like, Oh, my God, that story. I was drunk and I drove somebody and we drowned the car and they're dead. That's so hard.

I feel like we should have a moment of gratitude of the fact that we both haven't murdered anybody.

Actually, for real, because I'm sure, by the way, there's listeners who have accidentally been in a situation where someone... I mean, I know people who had car accidents, and it was technically their fault, car accidents, or accidents, but people have died. And I have so much sympathy and empathy. And that is for the grace of God go, I. That could be any of us at any time. I'm really scared of it. I was thinking about it the other day because I was driving and this unhoused person was just crossing- Yes. All the time, they're obviously not well. And so they're not paying attention to any of the rules. And you're just driving, all of a sudden, they're in the front of your car. It wouldn't be that hard to accidentally kill someone.

The same thing happened in Matine, on sunset. It's like a busy street. This guy just walked in. It's tough.

It's scary.

It's sad. So stay safe out there, guys.

Stay safe. And also, life is brutal, and things do happen. Right. I feel anxious talking about this. I know. Something bad is going to happen. I know.

I'm going to knock wood, too. Is that real wood?

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Though he is the same age as me, so we tend to talk about more than just work together. I would consider us more than coworkers. He's very friendly, and I would hate to make him feel bad, but the smell is too much. I thought it was an absence of deodorant for a while or an accidental fart here and there, but I notice the smell every day. I believe it's a smelly shoe or dirty laundry scent, but I don't know how to let him know that I can't handle the smell. Do I just put up with it and get distracted from work due to the smell or kindly let know without outright telling him he needs to be more clean. I also considered wearing a stronger perfume to mask the smell, but that would give me a headache. He shares a smaller office with someone else, and I can't figure out how she can put up with the smell. It wasn't this bad before, but lately, it's all I can think about when he's around. Am I being rude or is this a valid concern? Help me. Okay, I have friends who were in this position, and we discussed it a lot.

What do they do about this?

And was it a friend that you also knew?

I didn't know the person that the smell was coming from. I didn't meet that person. And yes, there was a strong smell. It wasn't easier, but it was B-O. Deodorant would have fixed it. So then we had talks like, do we get her a gift basket for her birthday that has just a bunch of deodorants in it, sprays. I think ultimately, they didn't do anything. It's such a hard thing to do, especially since it's a superior...

I think that's a real tricky You don't want to jeopardize that. There is a power dynamic there. I also would want a second opinion because we've talked about the smell. Again, I'm not gaslighting you. I believe you that there's a smell. But maybe you do want to talk to the woman who shares an office with him just to corroborate the information before.

Because then it could be just a pharamonal thing you're wondering. Yeah. But that's gossipy about a superior smell, and that is opening up a door that I don't know if it's smart.

She could do it in a In a kind way. I think, again, there's a risk to everything. Obviously, the easiest thing to do would be to hold your breath when you're around him and not do anything so that you're not jeopardizing the relationship or your job. But I would perhaps approach the woman and do it with the best intentions as you have laid out in this letter. I feel like someone needs to tell him, but do you smell it, too? I would say it, not, Ewe, this is gross, but be like, If I had a smell like that, I would want someone to tell me. Am I imagine... I don't know. Is that too much? Do you think that's worse?

What if she's like, I don't smell anything?

Then you have your answer.

But then you're in hot water.

You invent something. I have a weird... I got a nasal spray situation. I must be... Thanks for telling me. That's crazy. I must have something going on with my nose. You make it about you.

Unless that person who shares the office is close to you, it's tricky. I think you can only talk about it with someone who is very, very trusted to get a second opinion. Or you could... Okay, me and you almost tested this once. You could go out for work drinks and then invite some of your other friends or something. And then see if they smell the smell. Yeah.

We tried to do that once. We tried to. It didn't work out. There were other reasons. I can't believe we actually- Well, because we were trying to decipher, is it actually a smell or is it the smell, our own smell issue?

Here's the other thing. If it's not a deodorant thing, she thinks it might be a stinky shoe. A stinky shoe is that smelly? Is it like moldy? Because you know how some people, they don't dry the clothes all the way in the laundry, and then there is like a moldy smell. That is awful.

It's disgusting. If it's shoes, it's actually good. Easy. Literally, when he comes into your office or whatever, you go like, what's that smell? Do you smell that? And then start smelling and getting closer to his shoes. Say, I think it's coming from down. No. And then say, I think it's your shoes. Do you smell it?

Oh my God, Liz. In practicality, would you ever feel comfortable, honestly, being like, Oh my gosh, I think it's your shoes. Like, to their face?

To their shoe? Yeah. You get down on your... So you're almost being naive and being like, that's weird, as opposed to having an agenda. And then maybe they'll smell their own shoes and be like, oh my God, you're right.

Obviously, they don't smell it if they're walking around like that. That's terrifying.

This is terrifying because I'm like, What if this was me? This is a good example. It was my sister, so I feel like she can do it. But I was at work and my sister was coming into town in New York, and she came up to my desk, and then she hugged me, and then she pointed to her mouth, and she was like, I think you should have gum. And that was it. My sister is the nicest fucking person. She said it in a really kind, almost like, just like, Oh, you should have a gum. Not like, You have this problem. You're disgusting. Almost like, treating it like, Oh, this is not what you normally. I think there's something You probably ate. These are shoes you never wear because you always smell good. But right now, you're like, scrabbling.

This is an impossible question. I think it's hard. I think what you... Speaking of gum, every time you're in his presence, you should just pop a mint. I don't think it's his breath. I don't think you're offering him. But sometimes to me, if I have an altroid, it's so strong. That's all I can smell. So then if you just cover up your own nose.

You know what they do when they go into houses of hoarders and people's houses are a mess, and maybe they haven't been taking care of themselves? They put Vicks.

Oh, right.

They rub under their nose. Exactly.

Menthol. Yeah. It's like... Yeah.

So you could do... As soon as he comes in, Excuse me. He grabs the fix.

That's why he's doing that. I think, okay, I feel like try three altoids because that's strong, right? That's a lot. I know. You need it to be strong.

I feel like even one is too much for me. Okay.

Try enough so that it's overwhelming, and that's all you can smell. And then if that is impossible to keep up, and also maybe try this thing with work drinks to see if it's just you. Because, okay, there's a small part of me that worries, what if it's the food he eats or something? Because then there's nothing you can do.

That's maybe culturally- That went through my mind. And again, I'm assuming this is a white person But yes, if it's anything that could be different. Could be cultural. Smels are subjective.

Yes. I wish we had a better answer. I hate to say it. I think it's like you have to suffer through it and try the altoids. Try to just keep some physical distance if you can and hope somebody else closer to him says something. It's somebody else's job.

There you go.

Sucks because you're the one suffering.

It's hard. There should be a word we use. Or maybe there should be a bracelet. Someone like, when you smell. And then you don't know who told you, but you know that you're smelly right now. Are you paranoid about your smells?

So paranoid.

I am, too. I'm not saying everyone should be that way. But having a certain level of checking yourself.

I'm extra. I'm so anxious about how I smell. I think also from childhood, being so worried that there was going to be a smell that was going to be repellent. I don't think that's great either, but...

You could give them some cologne for Christmas, but if it's moldy, that's not going to help.

It's got to be somebody else who tells them, though. It can't be a coworker.

What if you write a note, an anonymous note?

No, because it might open up this crazy investigation. He might go around everyone and be like, Who wrote that? We don't know what things will lead to, like the murders. You don't know what this one act could lead to. Could lead to.

But also not acting acting could also lead to many acts. Maybe this guy's single and he's showing up to dates with the smell and he doesn't know. And he's like, why aren't things working out? Again, I would want to know. Okay.

Meeting halfway for you. I think you could say, what's the smell? Yes. Let it go, though. Don't try to figure it out in the moment. Bring up the smell, but then let it go so that maybe he's like, oh, is there one? Oh, that's smart. Then if somebody else later says something similar, then he might put pieces together. I wouldn't figure it out for him or tell him about the shoes, but I think it's okay to be like, What's that smell? Do you smell that? And then just let it go. Let it go. And then do your altruism.

And leave them out. Leave little bits of evidence. Mixed paper rub. There's something, too, about the shoes being so gross that they're smelly. That's like, that's rough.

That's so intense. That means it's like water logged with mold. I I know what that smell is. There's someone I know who had that smell in high school, and it was really sad. It was so overwhelming. It was so bad. People talked about it. I think someone who was higher up in charge, in a way, I'll say, a teacher, said something. I don't know how they did it.

That happened to me, too, in high school, to a boy. But there was a racial component. I felt that it was very awful what happened to him. And I heard that a teacher had talked to the parents. The whole thing was one of the worst instances of bullying that I wouldn't- Oh my God. It was just like, it's awful. This is different. I don't know.

Now I'm like, just don't sit.

Maybe don't, yeah. Fix paper I have to get a rub.

I'll towards and fix.

You'll be fine. I think so. Yeah.

Because it could be very sad.

It's true. We didn't consider that.

Now I'm only considering it based on this high school experience and now remembering the details of that person's life. And as a kid, you're not thinking much of it. But as an adult, it's really sad. That's true. I think you just have to suck it up, literally.

Get him new shoes. Last thing. For Christmas. That could be a fun gift.

If you're close enough, it's hard with a coworker.

We could be like, I got this free gift card from Nike.

Oh my God. That's always your advice. I got this free thing. Do you want it?

Is it?

Yeah. It was your advice for a skincare thing, too. I got this for free.

Do you want it? Because then it's not like, I went out and I bought this for you. It's like, oh, cool. I actually think of this smart. I actually think it's smart. It just happened to... I'm not going to use it. Do you want it? If it is a financial thing, then they can buy new shoes. Yeah.

I don't know if we did anything.

Can I put on the record, though? If I smell, no matter where it's coming from, I would really want you to tell me.

How do you want me to tell you if that happens?

I think you go, Liz, if it's a be-out thing, I think you should take a shower. Being direct with me, it's coming from you. It's not coming from a random stranger that's just being mean to me. I would appreciate it.

I want the same. You have no smell. I've never smelt anything on you, ever. Just like, I don't want you to murder. I'd also try not to smell because I don't want to be in the position.

Okay, so I will use that as a motivation.

Or we could come up with the word.

We could come up with a safe word.

But then it's the same thing. Yeah.

Might as well just say, I feel like there's a little smell. And then we know what that means. Okay. My best friend, when we were growing up, she would take off her shoes and it was like, we were inside cheese. I would physically go like, whoa. And again, she knew it. And when the person knows it, it's fine. She'll be like, oh, my God, sorry, my feet. And then it's fine.

That could have been a puberty thing because that's common. She still has it. Oh.

Yeah. It's like, I would be so stressed. Not really. She just knows. Cool.

I mean, it is much better. You're right. Because then they can just be like, oh, I know.

And that's great. When the person acknowledged, it's so nice. It happens. Oh, my God. This It's so stressful. And some people love the bad... Like, even someone's stinky smell will be someone's lovely.

To an extent. I think moldy- Yeah, moldy. Is probably no one's cup of tea, although I can't speak for it.

That's true.

Okay, we spent a long time on this, but which we needed to. We needed to. So we've run out of time, unfortunately. Oh, there's some really good ones. My husband baby talks, and I really don't like it. Yes. 25-year-old female hasn't orgasmed yet. Oh, I love that. Okay, so we're going to do those next week. That's a little cliffhanger for you. There's also many more. These are so good. Please keep writing in. Thank you so much for writing in. These questions are amazing. So fun. Okay, and then I'm going to see you in Austin. In Texas, baby. We're going to have a breakfast. We need to pick a place.

Rob, where should we eat breakfast?

I'll come back to you. Okay, you'll come back to us. Okay. Maybe we'll take some pictures or something there.

Maybe we'll do a TikTok. Oh, my God. Who knows? Maybe.

Maybe there's an Austin- When in Texas. Yeah, exactly. All right.

Love you. Love you, too.